A Gentleman in Moscow Amor Towles was born and raised in the Boston area. He graduated from Yale University and received an MA in English from Stanford University. An investment professional for over twenty years, he now devotes himself full-time to writing. Towles lives in Manhattan with his wife and two children.
Praise for A Gentleman in Moscow ‘A propensity for elegant sentences, wonderful characters and inventive storytelling . . . This is everything a novel should be: charming, witty, poetic and generous. An absolute delight.’ Mail on Sunday ‘A work of great charm, intelligence and insight.’ Sunday Times ‘This is a book to spark joy . . . A Gentleman in Moscow is exquisitely propped and styled, from the silver samovars to the red covers of Baedeker guides . . . The count charms and disarms, and his story sparks much joy and a new anti-Kondo philosophy: chuck much, but keep all the books.’ The Times ‘[A] wonderfully beguiling novel . . . There is so, so much to love in this book as we keep company with the endlessly entertaining Count, who becomes wise as well as witty as he ages. Amor Towles’ novel is wistful, whimsical and wry and elegantly captures that most apposite of life lessons: “By the smallest of one’s actions, one can restore some sense of order to the world.” Brilliant.’ Sunday Express
‘The perfect escapist read . . . utterly mesmerising.’ Stylist ‘If we do a better book than this on the [Simon Mayo Radio 2] Book Club, we’ll have a very very good year!’ Matt Williams, Radio 2 Book Club ‘Count Rostov is one of the most charming characters you’re likely to encounter in a book . . . [A] gorgeous novel . . . elegant, funny, beautifully-written . . . an absolute must-read.’ Irish Independent ‘A lively novel that captures the spirit of Russia . . . A tale abundant in humour, history and humanity, with a poignant message about time passing. That Towles also makes this rollicking good fun is no mean feat.’ Sunday Telegraph ‘A lovely meandering story as charming and elegant as the Count himself.’ Red ‘Winning . . . gorgeous . . . satisfying . . . Towles is a craftsman.’ New York Times Book Review ‘A Gentleman in Moscow is quite a novel. Towles’ use of language is a pleasure and you can’t help but savour every word . . . a great work of historical fiction.’ The Herald ‘This is parable for all world travellers.’ GQ ‘An inventive and charming novel.’ You Magazine
‘A comic masterpiece . . . In many ways . . . similar to The Grand Budapest Hotel in which Ralph Fiennes keeps his hotel running with perfect elegance even though the world is collapsing around him. Similarly Count Rostov keeps his own life running smoothly and decorously despite the efforts of the brutal and uncultured Soviet state to confound him . . . Very funny, tender . . . a thrilling finale . . . what adds to the joy of this book is the precision of Towles’ style . . . it has been a sheer delight to read about [the Count]. A gorgeous comic epic.’ Daily Express ‘Towles creates such a memorable character in Rostov and this book brings something for everyone – humour, history, friendship and philosophy.’ Irish Times ‘A masterful writer . . . a talent for conjuring up scenes from the past and present and bringing them into remarkable focus.’ Washington Times ‘Charming . . . if you’re in need of respite from the prevailing gloom, look no further . . . wonderful escapism.’ The Lady ‘You can’t help but enjoy the ride. What make it a great work of historical fiction are the creations the author builds outside the hotel in a truly tumultuous time.’ i paper ‘A love story like no other.’ The Sun
A LS O BY A MOR TOWLE S Rules of Civility
A Gentleman in Moscow A MOR T OWLES
WINDMILL BOOKS
1 3 5 7 9 10 8 6 4 2 Windmill Books 20 Vauxhall Bridge Road London SW1V 2SA Windmill Books is part of the Penguin Random House group of companies whose addresses can be found at global.penguinrandomhouse.com.
Copyright © Amor Towles 2016 Inside cover image © Shutterstock Amor Towles has asserted his right to be identified as the author of this Work in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988. This is a work of fiction. Names and characters are the product of the author’s imagination and any resemblance to actual persons living or dead, is entirely coincidental. First published in the USA by Viking in 2016 First published in Great Britain by Hutchinson in 2017 First published in paperback by Windmill Books in 2017 www.penguin.co.uk A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library. ISBN 9780099558781 Set in Dante MT Pro Designed by Francesca Belanger Map by Alex Coulter Printed and bound in Great Britain by Clays Ltd, St Ives plc Penguin Random House is committed to a sustainable future for our business, our readers and our planet. This book is made from Forest Stewardship Council® certified paper.
For Stokley and Esmé
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How Howwell wellI Iremember remember When Whenititcame cameasasa avisitor visitorononfoot foot And Anddwelt dwelta awhile whileamongst amongstusus AAmelody melodyininthe thesemblance semblanceofofa amountain mountaincat. cat. Well, Well,where whereisisour ourpurpose purposenow? now? Like Likesosomany manyquestions questions I Ianswer answerthis thisone one With Withthe theeyeeye-averted avertedpeeling peelingofofa apear. pear. With Witha abow bowI Ibid bidgoodnight goodnight And Andpass passthrough throughterrace terracedoors doors Into Intothe thesimple simplesplendors splendors OfOfanother anothertemperate temperatespring; spring; But Butthis thismuch muchI Iknow: know: ItItisisnot notlost lostamong amongthe theautumn autumnleaves leavesononPeter’s Peter’sSquare. Square. ItItisisnot notamong amongthe theashes ashesininthe theAthenaeum Athenaeumash ashcans. cans. ItItisisnot notinside insidethe theblue bluepagodas pagodasofofyour yourfine fineChinoiserie. Chinoiserie. ItItisisnot notininVronsky’s Vronsky’ssaddlebags; saddlebags; Not NotininSonnet SonnetXXX, XXX,stanza stanzaone; one; Not Notonontwentytwenty-seven sevenred red. . . . Where WhereIsIsItItNow? Now?(Lines (Lines1–1– 19)19) Count CountAlexander AlexanderIlyich IlyichRostov Rostov 1913 1913
21 21June June1922 1922 APPEARANCE APPEARANCEOF OFCOUNT COUNTALEXANDER ALEXANDERILYICH ILYICHROSTOV ROSTOV BEFORE BEFORETHE THEEMERGENCY EMERGENCYCOMMITTEE COMMITTEEOF OFTHE THEPEOPLE’S PEOPLE’S COMMISSARIAT COMMISSARIATFOR FORINTERNAL INTERNALAFFAIRS AFFAIRS Presiding: Presiding:Comrades ComradesV. V.A. A.Ignatov, Ignatov, M. M.S. S.Zakovsky, Zakovsky,A. A.N. N.Kosarev Kosarev Prosecuting: Prosecuting:A. A.Y. Y.Vyshinsky Vyshinsky
Prosecutor ProsecutorVyshinsky: Vyshinsky:State Stateyour yourname. name. Rostov: Rostov:Count CountAlexander AlexanderIlyich IlyichRostov, Rostov,recipient recipientof of the theOrder Orderof ofSaint SaintAndrew, Andrew,member memberof ofthe theJockey Jockey Club, Club,Master Masterof ofthe theHunt. Hunt. Vyshinsky: Vyshinsky:You Youmay mayhave haveyour yourtitles; titles;they theyare areof ofno no use useto toanyone anyoneelse. else.But Butfor forthe therecord, record,are areyou younot not Alexander AlexanderRostov, Rostov,born bornin inSt. St.Petersburg, Petersburg,24 24 October October1889? 1889? Rostov: Rostov:IIam amhe. he. Vyshinsky: Vyshinsky:Before Beforewe webegin, begin,IImust mustsay, say,IIdo donot not think thinkthat thatIIhave haveever everseen seenaajacket jacketfestooned festooned with withso somany manybuttons. buttons. Rostov: Rostov:Thank Thankyou. you. Vyshinsky: Vyshinsky:It Itwas wasnot notmeant meantas asaacompliment. compliment. Rostov: Rostov:In Inthat thatcase, case,IIdemand demandsatisfaction satisfactionon onthe the field fieldof ofhonor. honor. [Laughter.] [Laughter.] Secretary SecretaryIgnatov: Ignatov:Silence Silencein inthe thegallery. gallery. Vyshinsky: Vyshinsky:What Whatis isyour yourcurrent currentaddress? address? Rostov: Rostov:Suite Suite317 317at atthe theHotel HotelMetropol, Metropol,Moscow. Moscow. Vyshinsky: Vyshinsky:How Howlong longhave haveyou youlived livedthere? there?
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Rostov: Rostov:IIhave havebeen beenin inresidence residencesince sincethe thefifth fifthof of September September1918. 1918.Just Justunder underfour fouryears. years. Vyshinsky: Vyshinsky:And Andyour youroccupation? occupation? Rostov: Rostov:It Itis isnot notthe thebusiness businessof ofgentlemen gentlemento tohave have occupations. occupations. Vyshinsky: Vyshinsky:Very Verywell wellthen. then.How Howdo doyou youspend spendyour your time? time? Rostov: Rostov:Dining, Dining,discussing. discussing.Reading, Reading,reflecting. reflecting.The The usual usualrigmarole. rigmarole. Vyshinsky: Vyshinsky:And Andyou youwrite writepoetry? poetry? Rostov: Rostov:IIhave havebeen beenknown knownto tofence fencewith withaaquill. quill. Vyshinsky: Vyshinsky:[Holding [Holdingup upaapamphlet] pamphlet]Are Areyou youthe theauthor author of ofthis thislong longpoem poemof of1913: 1913:Where WhereIs IsIt ItNow? Now? Rostov: Rostov:It Ithas hasbeen beenattributed attributedto tome. me. Vyshinsky: Vyshinsky:Why Whydid didyou youwrite writethe thepoem? poem? Rostov: Rostov:It Itdemanded demandedto tobe bewritten. written.IIsimply simplyhappened happened to tobe besitting sittingat atthe theparticular particulardesk deskon onthe the particular particularmorning morningwhen whenit itchose choseto tomake makeits its demands. demands. Vyshinsky: Vyshinsky:And Andwhere wherewas wasthat thatexactly? exactly? Rostov: Rostov:In Inthe thesouth southparlor parlorat atIdlehour. Idlehour. Vyshinsky: Vyshinsky:Idlehour? Idlehour? Rostov: Rostov:The TheRostov Rostovestate estatein inNizhny NizhnyNovgorod. Novgorod. Vyshinsky: Vyshinsky:Ah, Ah,yes. yes.Of Ofcourse. course.How Howapt. apt.But Butlet letus us return returnour ourattention attentionto toyour yourpoem. poem.Coming Comingas asit it did— did— in inthe themore moresubdued subduedyears yearsafter afterthe thefailed failed revolt revoltof of1905— 1905—many manyconsidered consideredit itaacall callto toaction. action. Would Wouldyou youagree agreewith withthat thatassessment? assessment? Rostov: Rostov:All Allpoetry poetryis isaacall callto toaction. action. Vyshinsky: Vyshinsky:[Checking [Checkingnotes] notes]And Andit itwas wasin inthe thespring spring of ofthe thefollowing followingyear yearthat thatyou youleft leftRussia Russiafor for Paris Paris......?? Rostov: Rostov:IIseem seemto toremember rememberblossoms blossomson onthe theapple apple trees. trees.So, So,yes, yes,in inall alllikelihood likelihoodit itwas wasspring. spring. Vyshinsky: Vyshinsky:May May16 16to tobe beprecise. precise.Now, Now,we weunderstand understand the thereasons reasonsfor foryour yourselfselfimposed imposedexile; exile;and andwe we even evenhave havesome somesympathy sympathywith withthe theactions actionsthat that prompted promptedyour yourflight. flight.What Whatconcerns concernsus ushere hereis is your yourreturn returnin in1918. 1918.One Onewonders wondersif ifyou youcame cameback back with withthe theintention intentionof oftaking takingup uparms armsand, and,if ifso, so, whether whetherfor foror oragainst againstthe theRevolution. Revolution.
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Rostov: Rostov:By Bythat thatpoint, point,I’m I’mafraid afraidthat thatmy mydays daysof of taking takingup uparms armswere werebehind behindme. me. Vyshinsky: Vyshinsky:Why Whythen thendid didyou youcome comeback? back? Rostov: Rostov:IImissed missedthe theclimate. climate. [Laughter.] [Laughter.] CountRostov, Rostov,you youdo donot notseem seemto to Vyshinsky: Vyshinsky:Count appreciate appreciatethe thegravity gravityof ofyour yourposition. position.Nor Nordo do you youshow showthe therespect respectthat thatis isdue duethe themen menconvened convened before beforeyou. you. Rostov: Rostov:The TheTsarina Tsarinahad hadthe thesame samecomplaints complaintsabout aboutme me in inher herday. day. Ignatov: Ignatov:Prosecutor ProsecutorVyshinsky. Vyshinsky.If IfIImay may...... Vyshinsky: Vyshinsky:Secretary SecretaryIgnatov. Ignatov. Ignatov: Ignatov:IIhave haveno nodoubt, doubt,Count CountRostov, Rostov,that thatmany manyin in the thegallery galleryare aresurprised surprisedto tofind findyou youso socharming; charming; but butI, I,for forone, one,am amnot notsurprised surprisedin inthe theleast. least. History Historyhas hasshown showncharm charmto tobe bethe thefinal finalambition ambition of ofthe theleisure leisureclass. class.What WhatIIdo dofind findsurprising surprisingis is that thatthe theauthor authorof ofthe thepoem poemin inquestion questioncould couldhave have become becomeaaman manso soobviously obviouslywithout withoutpurpose. purpose. Rostov: Rostov:IIhave havelived livedunder underthe theimpression impressionthat thataa man’s man’spurpose purposeis isknown knownonly onlyto toGod. God. Ignatov: Ignatov:Indeed. Indeed.How Howconvenient convenientthat thatmust musthave havebeen been for foryou. you. [The [TheCommittee Committeerecesses recessesfor fortwelve twelveminutes.] minutes.] Ignatov: Ignatov:Alexander AlexanderIlyich IlyichRostov, Rostov,taking takinginto intofull full account accountyour yourown owntestimony, testimony,we wecan canonly onlyassume assume that thatthe theclearcleareyed eyedspirit spiritwho whowrote wrotethe thepoem poem Where WhereIs IsIt ItNow? Now?has hassuccumbed succumbedirrevocably irrevocablyto tothe the corruptions corruptionsof ofhis hisclass— class— and andnow nowposes posesaathreat threatto to the thevery veryideals idealshe heonce onceespoused. espoused.On Onthat thatbasis, basis, our ourinclination inclinationwould wouldbe beto tohave haveyou youtaken takenfrom from this thischamber chamberand andput putagainst againstthe thewall. wall.But Butthere there are arethose thosewithin withinthe thesenior seniorranks ranksof ofthe theParty Partywho who count countyou youamong amongthe theheroes heroesof ofthe theprerevolutionary prerevolutionary cause. cause.Thus, Thus,it itis isthe theopinion opinionof ofthis thiscommittee committee that thatyou youshould shouldbe bereturned returnedto tothat thathotel hotelof ofwhich which
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Amor AmorTowles Towles you youare areso sofond. fond.But Butmake makeno nomistake: mistake:should shouldyou you ever everset setfoot footoutside outsideof ofthe theMetropol Metropolagain, again,you you will willbe beshot. shot.Next Nextmatter. matter. Bearing Bearingthe thesignatures signaturesof of V. V.A. A.Ignatov Ignatov M. M.S. S.Zakovsky Zakovsky A. A.N. N.Kosarev Kosarev
BOOK BOOK ONE ONE
1922 1922 An AnAmbassador Ambassador
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t thalf halfpast pastsix sixon onthe thetwentytwenty-first firstofofJune June1922, 1922,when whenCount CountAlexanAlexander derIlyich IlyichRostov Rostovwas wasescorted escortedthrough throughthe thegates gatesofofthe theKremlin Kremlin onto ontoRed RedSquare, Square,ititwas wasglorious gloriousand andcool. cool.Drawing Drawinghis hisshoulders shouldersback back without withoutbreaking breakingstride, stride,the theCount Countinhaled inhaledthe theair airlike likeone onefresh freshfrom froma a swim. swim.The Thesky skywas wasthe thevery veryblue bluethat thatthe thecupolas cupolasofofSt. St.Basil’s Basil’shad hadbeen been painted paintedfor. for.Their Theirpinks, pinks,greens, greens,and andgolds goldsshimmered shimmeredasasififititwere werethe the sole solepurpose purposeofofa areligion religiontotocheer cheeritsitsDivinity. Divinity.Even Eventhe theBolshevik Bolshevikgirls girls conversing conversingbefore beforethe thewindows windowsofofthe theState StateDepartment DepartmentStore Storeseemed seemed dressed dressedtotocelebrate celebratethe thelast lastdays daysofofspring. spring. “Hello, “Hello,my mygood goodman,” man,”the theCount Countcalled calledtotoFyodor, Fyodor,atatthe theedge edgeofofthe the square. square.“I“Isee seethe theblackberries blackberrieshave havecome comeininearly earlythis thisyear!” year!” Giving Givingthe thestartled startledfruit fruitseller sellerno notime timetotoreply, reply,the theCount Countwalked walked briskly brisklyon, on,his hiswaxed waxedmoustaches moustachesspread spreadlike likethe thewings wingsofofa agull. gull.Passing Passing through throughResurrection ResurrectionGate, Gate,heheturned turnedhis hisback backon onthe thelilacs lilacsofofthe theAlexAlexander anderGardens Gardensand andproceeded proceededtoward towardTheatre TheatreSquare, Square,where wherethe theHotel Hotel Metropol Metropolstood stoodininallallitsitsglory. glory.When Whenhehereached reachedthe thethreshold, threshold,the theCount Count gave gavea awink winktotoPavel, Pavel,the theafternoon afternoondoorman, doorman,and andturned turnedwith witha ahand hand outstretched outstretchedtotothe thetwo twosoldiers soldierstrailing trailingbehind behindhim. him. “Thank “Thankyou, you,gentlemen, gentlemen,for fordelivering deliveringme mesafely. safely.I Ishall shallno nolonger longerbebe ininneed needofofyour yourassistance.” assistance.” Though Thoughstrapping strappinglads, lads,both bothofofthe thesoldiers soldiershad hadtotolook lookup upfrom fromunder under their theircaps capstotoreturn returnthe theCount’s Count’sgaze— gaze—for forlike liketen tengenerations generationsofofRostov Rostov men, men,the theCount Countstood stoodananeasy easysix sixfoot footthree. three. “On “Onyou yougo,” go,”said saidthe themore morethuggish thuggishofofthe thetwo, two,his hishand handon onthe thebutt butt ofofhis hisrifle. rifle.“We’re “We’retotosee seeyou youtotoyour yourrooms.” rooms.” InInthe thelobby, lobby,the theCount Countgave gavea awide widewave wavewith withwhich whichtotosimultanesimultaneously ouslygreet greetthe theunflappable unflappableArkady Arkady(who (whowas wasmanning manningthe thefront frontdesk) desk)and and sweet sweetValentina Valentina(who (whowas wasdusting dustinga astatuette). statuette).Though Thoughthe theCount Counthad had greeted greetedthem themininthis thismanner mannera ahundred hundredtimes timesbefore, before,both bothresponded respondedwith with
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a awidewide-eyed eyedstare. stare.ItItwas wasthe thesort sortofofreception receptionone onemight mighthave haveexpected expected when whenarriving arrivingfor fora adinner dinnerparty partyhaving havingforgotten forgottentotodon donone’s one’spants. pants. Passing Passingthe theyoung younggirl girlwith withthe thepenchant penchantfor foryellow yellowwho whowas wasreading reading a amagazine magazineininher herfavorite favoritelobby lobbychair, chair,the theCount Countcame cametotoananabrupt abruptstop stop before beforethe thepotted pottedpalms palmsininorder ordertotoaddress addresshis hisescort. escort. “The “Thelift liftororthe thestairs, stairs,gentlemen?” gentlemen?” The Thesoldiers soldierslooked lookedfrom fromone oneanother anothertotothe theCount Countand andback backagain, again, apparently apparentlyunable unabletotomake makeup uptheir theirminds. minds. How Howisisa asoldier soldierexpected expectedtotoprevail prevailon onthe thefield fieldofofbattle, battle,the theCount Count wondered, wondered,ififhehecannot cannotbebedecisive decisiveabout aboutascending ascendingtotoananupper upperfloor? floor? “The “Thestairs,” stairs,”hehedetermined determinedon ontheir theirbehalf, behalf,then thenvaulted vaultedthe thesteps steps two twoatata atime, time,asashad hadbeen beenhis hishabit habitsince sincethe theacademy. academy. On Onthe thethird thirdfloor, floor,the theCount Countwalked walkeddown downthe theredred-carpeted carpetedhallway hallway toward towardhis hissuite— suite—ananinterconnected interconnectedbedroom, bedroom,bath, bath,dining diningroom, room,and and grand grandsalon salonwith witheighteight-foot footwindows windowsoverlooking overlookingthe thelindens lindensofofTheatre Theatre Square. Square.And Andthere therethe therudeness rudenessofofthe theday dayawaited. awaited.For Forbefore beforethe theflungflungopen opendoors doorsofofhis hisrooms roomsstood stooda acaptain captainofofthe theguards guardswith withPasha Pashaand and Petya, Petya,the thehotel’s hotel’sbellhops. bellhops.The Thetwo twoyoung youngmen menmet metthe theCount’s Count’sgaze gaze with withlooks looksofofembarrassment, embarrassment,having havingclearly clearlybeen beenconscripted conscriptedinto intosome some duty dutythey theyfound founddistasteful. distasteful.The TheCount Countaddressed addressedthe theofficer. officer. “What “Whatisisthe themeaning meaningofofthis, this,Captain?” Captain?” The Thecaptain, captain,who whoseemed seemedmildly mildlysurprised surprisedbybythe thequestion, question,had hadthe the good goodtraining trainingtotomaintain maintainthe theevenness evennessofofhis hisaffect. affect. “I“Iam amhere heretotoshow showyou youtotoyour yourquarters.” quarters.” “These “Theseare aremy myquarters.” quarters.” Betraying Betrayingthe theslightest slightestsuggestion suggestionofofa asmile, smile,the thecaptain captainreplied, replied,“No “No longer, longer,I’m I’mafraid.” afraid.” Leaving LeavingPasha Pashaand andPetya Petyabehind, behind,the thecaptain captainled ledthe theCount Countand andhis hisescort escort totoa autility utilitystair stairhidden hiddenbehind behindananinconspicuous inconspicuousdoor doorininthe thecore coreofofthe the hotel. hotel.The Theillill-litlitascent ascentturned turneda asharp sharpcorner cornerevery everyfive fivesteps stepsininthe themanmanner nerofofa abelfry. belfry.Up Upthey theywound woundthree threeflights flightstotowhere wherea adoor dooropened openedon ona a narrow narrowcorridor corridorservicing servicinga abathroom bathroomand andsix sixbedrooms bedroomsreminiscent reminiscentofof monastic monasticcells. cells.This Thisattic atticwas wasoriginally originallybuilt builttotohouse housethe thebutlers butlersand and ladies’ ladies’maids maidsofofthe theMetropol’s Metropol’sguests; guests;but butwhen whenthe thepractice practiceofoftraveling traveling
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with withservants servantsfell fellout outofoffashion, fashion,the theunused unusedrooms roomshad hadbeen beenclaimed claimedbyby the thecaprices capricesofofcasual casualurgency— urgency—thenceforth thenceforthwarehousing warehousingscraps scrapsofoflumlumber, ber,broken brokenfurniture, furniture,and andother otherassorted assorteddebris. debris. Earlier Earlierthat thatday, day,the theroom roomclosest closesttotothe thestairwell stairwellhad hadbeen beencleared clearedofof allallbut buta acastcast-iron ironbed, bed,a athreethree-legged leggedbureau, bureau,and anda adecade decadeofofdust. dust.InInthe the corner cornernear nearthe thedoor doorwas wasa asmall smallcloset, closet,rather ratherlike likea atelephone telephonebox, box,that that had hadbeen beendropped droppedininthe theroom roomasasananafterthought. afterthought.Reflecting Reflectingthe thepitch pitchofof the theroof, roof,the theceiling ceilingsloped slopedatata agradual gradualincline inclineasasititmoved movedaway awayfrom fromthe the door, door,such suchthat thatatatthe theroom’s room’souter outerwall wallthe theonly onlyplace placewhere wherethe theCount Count could couldstand standtotohis hisfull fullheight heightwas waswhere wherea adormer dormeraccommodated accommodateda awinwindow dowthe thesize sizeofofa achessboard. chessboard. As Asthe thetwo twoguards guardslooked lookedon onsmugly smuglyfrom fromthe thehall, hall,the thegood goodcaptain captain explained explainedthat thathehehad hadsummoned summonedthe thebellhops bellhopstotohelp helpthe theCount Countmove move what whatfew fewbelongings belongingshis hisnew newquarters quarterswould wouldaccommodate. accommodate. “And “Andthe therest?” rest?” “Becomes “Becomesthe theproperty propertyofofthe thePeople.” People.” SoSothis thisisistheir theirgame, game,thought thoughtthe theCount. Count. “Very “Verywell.” well.” Back Backdown downthe thebelfry belfryheheskipped skippedasasthe theguards guardshurried hurriedbehind behindhim, him, their theirrifles riflesclacking clackingagainst againstthe thewall. wall.On Onthe thethird thirdfloor, floor,hehemarched marched along alongthe thehallway hallwayand andinto intohis hissuite suitewhere wherethe thetwo twobellhops bellhopslooked lookedup up with withwoeful woefulexpressions. expressions. “It’s “It’sallallright, right,fellows,” fellows,”the theCount Countassured assuredand andthen thenbegan beganpointing: pointing: “This. “This.That. That.Those. Those.All Allthe thebooks.” books.” Among Amongthe thefurnishings furnishingsdestined destinedfor forhis hisnew newquarters, quarters,the theCount Count chose chosetwo twohighhigh-back backchairs, chairs,his hisgrandmother’s grandmother’soriental orientalcoffee coffeetable, table,and and a afavorite favoriteset setofofher herporcelain porcelainplates. plates.He Hechose chosethe thetwo twotable tablelamps lampsfashfashioned ionedfrom fromebony ebonyelephants elephantsand andthe theportrait portraitofofhis hissister, sister,Helena, Helena,which which Serov Serovhad hadpainted paintedduring duringa abrief briefstay stayatatIdlehour Idlehourinin1908. 1908.He Hedid didnot notforforget getthe theleather leathercase casethat thathad hadbeen beenfashioned fashionedespecially especiallyfor forhim himbybyAsprey Asprey ininLondon Londonand andwhich whichhis hisgood goodfriend friendMishka Mishkahad hadsosoappropriately appropriatelychrischristened tenedthe theAmbassador. Ambassador. Someone Someonehad hadshown shownthe thecourtesy courtesyofofhaving havingone oneofofthe theCount’s Count’straveltraveling ingtrunks trunksbrought broughttotohis hisbedroom. bedroom.So, So,asasthe thebellhops bellhopscarried carriedthe theaforeaforementioned mentionedupward, upward,the theCount Countfilled filledthe thetrunk trunkwith withclothes clothesand andpersonal personal
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effects. effects.Noting Notingthat thatthe theguards guardswere wereeyeing eyeingthe thetwo twobottles bottlesofofbrandy brandyon on the theconsole, console,the theCount Counttossed tossedthem themininasaswell. well.And Andonce oncethe thetrunk trunkhad had been beencarried carriedupstairs, upstairs,hehefinally finallypointed pointedtotothe thedesk. desk. The Thetwo twobellhops, bellhops,their theirbright brightblue blueuniforms uniformsalready alreadysmudged smudgedfrom from their theirefforts, efforts,took tookhold holdofofititbybythe thecorners. corners. “But “Butititweighs weighsa aton,” ton,”said saidone onetotothe theother. other. “A“Aking kingfortifies fortifieshimself himselfwith witha acastle,” castle,”observed observedthe theCount, Count,“a“agentlegentleman manwith witha adesk.” desk.” As Asthe thebellhops bellhopslugged luggedititinto intothe thehall, hall,the theRostovs’ Rostovs’grandfather grandfatherclock, clock, which whichwas wasfated fatedtotobebeleft leftbehind, behind,tolled tolleda adoleful dolefuleight. eight.The Thecaptain captainhad had long longsince sincereturned returnedtotohis hispost postand andthe theguards, guards,having havingswapped swappedtheir their belligerence belligerencefor forboredom, boredom,now nowleaned leanedagainst againstthe thewall walland andletletthe theashes ashes from fromtheir theircigarettes cigarettesfall fallon onthe theparquet parquetfloor floorwhile whileinto intothe thegrand grandsalon salon poured pouredthe theundiminished undiminishedlight lightofofthe theMoscow Moscowsummer summersolstice. solstice. With Witha awistful wistfuleye, eye,the theCount Countapproached approachedthe thewindows windowsatatthe thesuite’s suite’s northwest northwestcorner. corner.How Howmany manyhours hourshad hadhehespent spentbefore beforethem? them?How Howmany many mornings morningsdressed dressedininhis hisrobe robewith withhis hiscoffee coffeeininhand handhad hadheheobserved observedthe the new newarrivals arrivalsfrom fromSt. St.Petersburg Petersburgdisembarking disembarkingfrom fromtheir theircabs, cabs,worn wornand and weary wearyfrom fromthe theovernight overnighttrain? train?On Onhow howmany manywinter wintereves eveshad hadhehewatched watched the thesnow snowslowly slowlydescending descendingasassome somelone lonesilhouette, silhouette,stocky stockyand andshort, short, passed passedunder undera astreet streetlamp? lamp?AtAtthat thatvery veryinstant, instant,atatthe thesquare’s square’snorthern northern extreme extremea ayoung youngRed RedArmy Armyofficer officerrushed rushedup upthe thesteps stepsofofthe theBolshoi, Bolshoi,havhaving ingmissed missedthe thefirst firsthalf halfhour hourofofthe theevening’s evening’sperformance. performance. The TheCount Countsmiled smiledtotoremember rememberhis hisown ownyouthful youthfulpreference preferencefor for arriving arrivingentr’acte. entr’acte.Having Havinginsisted insistedatatthe theEnglish EnglishClub Clubthat thathehecould couldonly only stay stayfor forone onemore moredrink, drink,hehestayed stayedfor forthree. three.Then Thenleaping leapinginto intothe thewaitwaiting ingcarriage, carriage,he’d he’dflash flashacross acrossthe thecity, city,vault vaultthe thefabled fabledsteps, steps,and andlike likethis this young youngfellow fellowslip slipthrough throughthe thegolden goldendoors. doors.As Asthe theballerinas ballerinasdanced danced gracefully gracefullyacross acrossthe thestage, stage,the theCount Countwould wouldbebewhispering whisperinghis hisexcusezexcusezmoi’s, moi’s,making makinghis hisway waytotohis hisusual usualseat seatininthe thetwentieth twentiethrow rowwith withitsitspriviprivileged legedview viewofofthe theladies ladiesininthe theloges. loges. Arriving Arrivinglate, late,thought thoughtthe theCount Countwith witha asigh. sigh.What Whata adelicacy delicacyofofyouth. youth. Then Thenheheturned turnedon onhis hisheels heelsand andbegan begantotowalk walkhis hisrooms. rooms.First, First,hehe admired admiredthe thesalon’s salon’sgrand granddimensions dimensionsand anditsitstwo twochandeliers. chandeliers.He Headmired admired the thepainted paintedpanels panelsofofthe thelittle littledining diningroom roomand andthe theelaborate elaboratebrass brassmechanmechan-
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icsicsthat thatallowed allowedone onetotosecure securethe thedouble doubledoors doorsofofthe thebedroom. bedroom.InInshort, short,hehe reviewed reviewedthe theinterior interiormuch muchasaswould woulda apotential potentialbuyer buyerwho whowas wasseeing seeingthe the rooms roomsfor forthe thevery veryfirst firsttime. time.Once Onceininthe thebedroom, bedroom,the theCount Countpaused paused before beforethe themarblemarbletopped toppedtable tableon onwhich whichlay layananassortment assortmentofofcurios. curios.From From among amongthem, them,hehepicked pickedup upa apair pairofofscissors scissorsthat thathad hadbeen beenprized prizedbybyhis hississister. ter.Fashioned Fashionedininthe theshape shapeofofananegret egretwith withthe thelong longsilver silverblades bladesrepresentrepresenting ingthe thebird’s bird’sbeak beakand andthe thesmall smallgolden goldenscrew screwatatthe thepivot pivotrepresenting representingitsits eye, eye,the thescissors scissorswere weresosodelicate delicatehehecould couldbarely barelyfitfithis histhumb thumband andfinger finger through throughthe therings. rings. Looking Lookingfrom fromone oneend endofofthe theapartment apartmenttotothe theother, other,the theCount Counttook took a aquick quickinventory inventoryofofallallthat thatwould wouldbebeleft leftbehind. behind.What Whatpersonal personalpossespossessions, sions,furnishings, furnishings,and andobjets objetsd’art d’arthehehad hadbrought broughttotothis thissuite suitefour fouryears years before beforewere werealready alreadythe theproduct productofofa agreat greatwinnowing. winnowing.For Forwhen whenword word had hadreached reachedthe theCount Countofofthe theTsar’s Tsar’sexecution, execution,hehehad hadset setout outfrom fromParis Paris atatonce. once.Over Overtwenty twentydays, days,hehehad hadmade madehis hisway wayacross acrosssix sixnations nationsand and skirted skirtedeight eightbattalions battalionsfighting fightingunder underfive fivedifferent differentflags, flags,finally finallyarriving arriving atatIdlehour Idlehouron onthe theseventh seventhofofAugust August1918, 1918,with withnothing nothingbut buta arucksack rucksack on onhis hisback. back.Though Thoughhehefound foundthe thecountryside countrysideon onthe theverge vergeofofupheaval upheaval and andthe thehousehold householdinina astate stateofofdistress, distress,his hisgrandmother, grandmother,the theCountess, Countess, was wascharacteristically characteristicallycomposed. composed. “Sasha,” “Sasha,”she shesaid saidwithout withoutrising risingfrom fromher herchair, chair,“how “howgood goodofofyou youtoto come. come.You Youmust mustbebefamished. famished.Join Joinme mefor fortea.” tea.” When Whenheheexplained explainedthe thenecessity necessityofofher herleaving leavingthe thecountry countryand and described describedthe thearrangements arrangementshehehad hadmade madefor forher herpassage, passage,the theCountess Countess understood understoodthat thatthere therewas wasno noalternative. alternative.She Sheunderstood understoodthat thatalthough although every everyservant servantininher heremploy employwas wasready readytotoaccompany accompanyher, her,she shemust musttravel travel with withtwo. two.She Shealso alsounderstood understoodwhy whyher hergrandson grandsonand andonly onlyheir, heir,whom whom she shehad hadraised raisedfrom fromthe theage ageofoften, ten,would wouldnot notbebecoming comingwith withher. her. When Whenthe theCount Countwas wasjust justseven, seven,hehewas wasdefeated defeatedsososoundly soundlybybya aneighneighboring boringboy boyinina agame gameofofdraughts draughtsthat, that,apparently, apparently,a atear tearwas wasshed, shed,a acurse curse was wasuttered, uttered,and andthe thegame gamepieces pieceswere werescattered scatteredacross acrossthe thefloor. floor.This Thislack lack ofofsportsmanship sportsmanshipled ledtotoa astiff stiffreprimand reprimandfrom fromthe theCount’s Count’sfather fatherand anda atrip trip totobed bedwithout withoutsupper. supper.But Butasasthe theyoung youngCount Countwas wasgripping grippinghis hisblanket blanketinin misery, misery,hehewas wasvisited visitedbybyhis hisgrandmother. grandmother.Taking Takinga aseat seatatatthe thefoot footofofthe the bed, bed,the theCountess Countessexpressed expresseda ameasure measureofofsympathy: sympathy:“There “Thereisisnothing nothing
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pleasant pleasanttotobebesaid saidabout aboutlosing,” losing,”she shebegan, began,“and “andthe theObolensky Obolenskyboy boyisisa a pill. pill.But, But,Sasha, Sasha,my mydear, dear,why whyon onearth earthwould wouldyou yougive givehim himthe thesatisfacsatisfaction?” tion?”ItItwas wasininthis thisspirit spiritthat thatheheand andhis hisgrandmother grandmotherparted partedwithout withouttears tears on onthe thedocks docksininPeterhof. Peterhof.Then Thenthe theCount Countreturned returnedtotothe thefamily familyestate estateinin order ordertotoadminister administeritsitsshuttering. shuttering. InInquick quicksuccession successioncame camethe thesweeping sweepingofofchimneys, chimneys,the theclearing clearingofof pantries, pantries,and andthe theshrouding shroudingofoffurniture. furniture.ItItwas wasjust justasasififthe thefamily familywere were returning returningtotoSt. St.Petersburg Petersburgfor forthe theseason, season,except exceptthat thatthe thedogs dogswere were released releasedfrom fromtheir theirkennels, kennels,the thehorses horsesfrom fromtheir theirstables, stables,and andthe theserservants vantsfrom fromtheir theirduties. duties.Then, Then,having havingfilled filleda asingle singlewagon wagonwith withsome someofof the thefinest finestofofthe theRostovs’ Rostovs’furniture, furniture,the theCount Countbolted boltedthe thedoors doorsand andset set out outfor forMoscow. Moscow. ’Tis ’Tisa afunny funnything, thing,reflected reflectedthe theCount Countasashehestood stoodready readytotoabandon abandon his hissuite. suite.From Fromthe theearliest earliestage, age,we wemust mustlearn learntotosay saygoodgood-bye byetotofriends friends and andfamily. family.We Wesee seeour ourparents parentsand andsiblings siblingsoff offatatthe thestation; station;we wevisit visit cousins, cousins,attend attendschools, schools,join jointhe theregiment; regiment;we wemarry, marry,orortravel travelabroad. abroad.ItIt isispart partofofthe thehuman humanexperience experiencethat thatwe weare areconstantly constantlygripping grippinga agood good fellow fellowbybythe theshoulders shouldersand andwishing wishinghim himwell, well,taking takingcomfort comfortfrom fromthe the notion notionthat thatwe wewill willhear hearword wordofofhim himsoon soonenough. enough. But Butexperience experienceisisless lesslikely likelytototeach teachusushow howtotobid bidour ourdearest dearestpossespossessions sionsadieu. adieu.And Andififititwere wereto? to?We Wewouldn’t wouldn’twelcome welcomethe theeducation. education.For For eventually, eventually,we wecome cometotohold holdour ourdearest dearestpossessions possessionsmore moreclosely closelythan than we wehold holdour ourfriends. friends.We Wecarry carrythem themfrom fromplace placetotoplace, place,often oftenatatconsidconsiderable erableexpense expenseand andinconvenience; inconvenience;we wedust dustand andpolish polishtheir theirsurfaces surfacesand and reprimand reprimandchildren childrenfor forplaying playingtoo tooroughly roughlyinintheir theirvicinity— vicinity—allallthe the while, while,allowing allowingmemories memoriestotoinvest investthem themwith withgreater greaterand andgreater greater importance. importance.This Thisarmoire, armoire,we weare areprone pronetotorecall, recall,isisthe thevery veryone oneinin which whichwe wehid hidasasa aboy; boy;and andititwas wasthese thesesilver silvercandelabra candelabrathat thatlined linedour our table tableon onChristmas ChristmasEve; Eve;and andititwas waswith withthis thishandkerchief handkerchiefthat thatshe sheonce once dried driedher hertears, tears,etetcetera, cetera,etetcetera. cetera.Until Untilwe weimagine imaginethat thatthese thesecarefully carefully preserved preservedpossessions possessionsmight mightgive giveususgenuine genuinesolace solaceininthe theface faceofofa alost lost companion. companion. But, But,ofofcourse, course,a athing thingisisjust justa athing. thing. And Andso, so,slipping slippinghis hissister’s sister’sscissors scissorsinto intohis hispocket, pocket,the theCount Countlooked looked once oncemore moreatatwhat whatheirlooms heirloomsremained remainedand andthen thenexpunged expungedthem themfrom from his hisheartache heartacheforever. forever.
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✮✮ One Onehour hourlater, later,asasthe theCount Countbounced bouncedtwice twiceon onhis hisnew newmattress mattresstotoidenidentify tifythe thekey keyofofthe thebedsprings bedsprings(G-sharp), (G-sharp),hehesurveyed surveyedthe thefurniture furniturethat that had hadbeen beenstacked stackedaround aroundhim himand andreminded remindedhimself himselfhow, how,asasa ayouth, youth,hehe had hadlonged longedfor fortrips tripstotoFrance Francebybysteamship steamshipand andMoscow Moscowbybythe theoverovernight nighttrain. train. And Andwhy whyhad hadhehelonged longedfor forthose thoseparticular particularjourneys? journeys? Because Becausetheir theirberths berthshad hadbeen beensososmall! small! What Whata amarvel marvelitithad hadbeen beentotodiscover discoverthe thetable tablethat thatfolded foldedaway away without withouta atrace; trace;and andthe thedrawers drawersbuilt builtinto intothe thebase baseofofthe thebed; bed;and andthe the wallwall-mounted mountedlamps lampsjust justlarge largeenough enoughtotoilluminate illuminatea apage. page.This Thiseffiefficiency ciencyofofdesign designwas wasmusic musictotothe theyoung youngmind. mind.ItItattested attestedtotoa aprecision precision ofofpurpose purposeand andthe thepromise promiseofofadventure. adventure.For Forsuch suchwould wouldhave havebeen beenthe the quarters quartersofofCaptain CaptainNemo Nemowhen whenhehejourneyed journeyedtwenty twentythousand thousandleagues leagues beneath beneaththe thesea. sea.And Andwouldn’t wouldn’tany anyyoung youngboy boywith withthe theslightest slightestgumpgumption tiongladly gladlytrade tradea ahundred hundrednights nightsinina apalace palacefor forone oneaboard aboardthe theNauNautilus? tilus? Well. Well.AtAtlong longlast, last,here herehehewas. was. Besides, Besides,with withhalf halfthe therooms roomson onthe thesecond secondfloor floortemporarily temporarilycomcommandeered mandeeredbybythe theBolsheviks Bolsheviksfor forthe thetireless tirelesstyping typingofofdirectives, directives,atatleast least on onthe thesixth sixthfloor floora aman mancould couldhear hearhimself himselfthink.* think.* The TheCount Countstood stoodand andbanged bangedhis hishead headon onthe theslope slopeofofthe theceiling. ceiling. “Just “Justso,” so,”hehereplied. replied. Easing Easingone oneofofthe thehighhigh-back backchairs chairsaside asideand andmoving movingthe theelephant elephant lamps lampstotothe thebed, bed,the theCount Countopened openedhis histrunk. trunk.First, First,hehetook tookout outthe the *In *Infact, fact,ititwas wasinto intothe thesuite suitedirectly directlybelow belowthe theCount’s Count’sthat thatYakov YakovSverdlov, Sverdlov, the thefirst firstchairman chairmanofofthe theAllAllRussian RussianExecutive ExecutiveCommittee, Committee,had hadlocked lockedthe theconconstitutional stitutionaldrafting draftingcommittee— committee— vowing vowinghehewould wouldnot notturn turnthe thekey keyagain againuntil until they theyhad hadcompleted completedtheir theirwork. work.Thus Thusdid didthe thetypewriters typewritersclack clackthrough throughthe the night, night,until untilthat thathistoric historicdocument documenthad hadbeen beencrafted craftedwhich whichguaranteed guaranteedfor forallall Russians Russiansfreedom freedomofofconscience conscience(Article (Article13), 13),freedom freedomofofexpression expression(Article (Article14), 14), freedom freedomofofassembly assembly(Article (Article15), 15),and andfreedom freedomtotohave haveany anyofofthese theserights rightsrevoked revoked should shouldthey theybebe“utlitized “utlitizedtotothe thedetriment detrimentofofthe thesocialist socialistrevolution” revolution”(Article (Article23)! 23)!
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photograph photographofofthe theDelegation Delegationand andplaced placedititon onthe thedesk deskwhere whereititbelonged. belonged. Then Thenhehetook tookout outthe thetwo twobottles bottlesofofbrandy brandyand andhis hisfather’s father’stwicetwice-tolling tolling clock. clock.But Butwhen whenhehetook tookout outhis hisgrandmother’s grandmother’sopera operaglasses glassesand andplaced placed them themon onthe thedesk, desk,a afluttering flutteringdrew drewhis hisattention attentiontoward towardthe thedormer. dormer. Though Thoughthe thewindow windowwas wasonly onlythe thesize sizeofofa adinner dinnerinvitation, invitation,the theCount Count could couldsee seethat thata apigeon pigeonhad hadlanded landedoutside outsideon onthe thecopper copperstripping strippingofofthe the ledge. ledge. “Why, “Why,hello,” hello,”said saidthe theCount. Count.“How “Howkind kindofofyou youtotostop stopby.” by.” The Thepigeon pigeonlooked lookedback backwith witha adecidedly decidedlyproprietary proprietaryair. air.Then Thenitit scuffed scuffedthe theflashing flashingwith withitsitsclaws clawsand andthrust thrustitsitsbeak beakatatthe thewindow windowsevseveral eraltimes timesininquick quicksuccession. succession. “Ah, “Ah,yes,” yes,”conceded concededthe theCount. Count.“There “Thereisissomething somethingininwhat whatyou yousay.” say.” He Hewas wasabout abouttotoexplain explaintotohis hisnew newneighbor neighborthe thecause causeofofhis hisunexunexpected pectedarrival, arrival,when whenfrom fromthe thehallway hallwaycame camethe thedelicate delicateclearing clearingofofa a throat. throat.Without Withoutturning, turning,the theCount Countcould couldtell tellthat thatthis thiswas wasAndrey, Andrey,the the maître maîtred’d’ofofthe theBoyarsky, Boyarsky,for forititwas washis histrademark trademarkinterruption. interruption. Nodding Noddingonce oncetotothe thepigeon pigeontotoindicate indicatethat thatthey theywould wouldresume resumetheir their discussion discussionanon, anon,the theCount Countrebuttoned rebuttonedhis hisjacket jacketand andturned turnedtotofind findthat that ititwas wasnot notAndrey Andreyalone alonewho whohad hadpaid paida avisit: visit:three threemembers membersofofthe the hotel’s hotel’sstaff staffwere werecrowded crowdedininthe thedoorway. doorway. There Therewas wasAndrey Andreywith withhis hisperfect perfectpoise poiseand andlong longjudicious judicioushands; hands; Vasily, Vasily,the thehotel’s hotel’sinimitable inimitableconcierge; concierge;and andMarina, Marina,the theshy shydelight delightwith with the thewandering wanderingeye eyewho whohad hadrecently recentlybeen beenpromoted promotedfrom fromchambermaid chambermaidtoto seamstress. seamstress.The Thethree threeofofthem themexhibited exhibitedthe thesame samebewildered bewilderedgaze gazethat thatthe the Count Counthad hadnoticed noticedon onthe thefaces facesofofArkady Arkadyand andValentina Valentinaa afew fewhours hoursbefore, before, and andfinally finallyititstruck struckhim: him:When Whenhehehad hadbeen beencarted cartedoff offthat thatmorning, morning,they they had hadallallassumed assumedthat thathehewould wouldnever neverreturn. return.He Hehad hademerged emergedfrom frombehind behind the thewalls wallsofofthe theKremlin Kremlinlike likeananaviator aviatorfrom fromthe thewreckage wreckageofofa acrash. crash. “My “Mydear dearfriends,” friends,”said saidthe theCount, Count,“no “nodoubt doubtyou youare arecurious curiousasastotothe the day’s day’sevents. events.As Asyou youmay mayknow, know,I was I wasinvited invitedtotothe theKremlin Kremlinfor fora atête-à-tête. tête-à-tête. There, There,several severalduly dulygoateed goateedofficers officersofofthe thecurrent currentregime regimedetermined determinedthat that for forthe thecrime crimeofofbeing beingborn bornananaristocrat, aristocrat,I Ishould shouldbebesentenced sentencedtotospend spend the therest restofofmy mydays days. . . in . inthis thishotel.” hotel.” InInresponse responsetotothe thecheers, cheers,the theCount Countshook shookhands handswith withhis hisguests guestsone one bybyone, one,expressing expressingtotoeach eachhis hisappreciation appreciationfor fortheir theirfellowship fellowshipand andhis his heartfelt heartfeltthanks. thanks.
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“Come “Comein, in,come comein,” in,”hehesaid. said. Together, Together,the thethree threestaff staffmembers memberssqueezed squeezedtheir theirway waybetween betweenthe the teetering teeteringtowers towersofoffurniture. furniture. “If“Ifyou youwould wouldbebesosokind,” kind,”said saidthe theCount, Count,handing handingAndrey Andreyone oneofofthe the bottles bottlesofofbrandy. brandy.Then Thenhehekneeled kneeledbefore beforethe theAmbassador, Ambassador,threw threwthe theclasps, clasps, and andopened openedititlike likea agiant giantbook. book.Carefully Carefullysecured securedinside insidewere werefiftyfiftytwo two glasses— glasses—orormore moreprecisely, precisely,twentytwenty-six sixpairs pairsofofglasses— glasses—each eachshaped shapedtotoitsits purpose, purpose,from fromthe thegrand grandembrace embraceofofthe theBurgundy Burgundyglass glassdown downtotothose those charming charminglittle littlevessels vesselsdesigned designedfor forthe thebrightly brightlycolored coloredliqueurs liqueursofofsouthern southern Europe. Europe.InInthe thespirit spiritofofthe thehour, hour,the theCount Countpicked pickedfour fourglasses glassesatatrandom random and andpassed passedthem themaround aroundasasAndrey, Andrey,having havingplucked pluckedthe thecork corkfrom fromthe thebottle, bottle, performed performedthe thehonors. honors. Once Oncehis hisguests guestshad hadtheir theirbrandy brandyininhand, hand,the theCount Countraised raisedhis hisown own on onhigh. high. “To “Tothe theMetropol,” Metropol,”hehesaid. said. “To “Tothe theMetropol!” Metropol!”they theyreplied. replied. The TheCount Countwas wassomething somethingofofa anaturalnatural-born bornhost hostand andininthe thehour hourthat that ensued, ensued,asashehetopped toppeda aglass glasshere hereand andsparked sparkeda aconversation conversationthere, there,hehe had hadananinstinctive instinctiveawareness awarenessofofallallthe thetemperaments temperamentsininthe theroom. room.DeDespite spitethe theformality formalityappropriate appropriatetotohis hisposition, position,tonight tonightAndrey Andreyexhibited exhibited a aready readysmile smileand andananoccasional occasionalwink. wink.Vasily, Vasily,who whospoke spokewith withsuch such pointed pointedaccuracy accuracywhen whenproviding providingdirections directionstotothe thecity’s city’ssights, sights,suddenly suddenly had hadthe thelilt liltofofone onewho whomay mayorormay maynot notremember remembertomorrow tomorrowwhat whathehe had hadsaid saidtoday. today.And Andatatevery everyjest, jest,the theshy shyMarina Marinaallowed allowedherself herselftotogiggiggle glewithout withoutplacing placinga ahand handininfront frontofofher herlips. lips. On Onthis thisofofallallnights, nights,the theCount Countdeeply deeplyappreciated appreciatedtheir theirgood goodcheer; cheer; but buthehewas wasnot notsosovain vainasastotoimagine imagineititwas wasfounded foundedsolely solelyon onnews newsofofhis his narrow narrowescape. escape.For Forasasheheknew knewbetter betterthan thanmost, most,ititwas wasininSeptember Septemberofof 1905 1905that thatthe themembers membersofofthe theDelegation Delegationhad hadsigned signedthe theTreaty TreatyofofPortsPortsmouth mouthtotoend endthe theRussoRusso-Japanese JapaneseWar. War.InInthe theseventeen seventeenyears yearssince sincethe the making makingofofthat thatpeace— peace—hardly hardlya ageneration— generation—Russia Russiahad hadsuffered suffereda aworld world war, war,a acivil civilwar, war,two twofamines, famines,and andthe theso-called so-calledRed RedTerror. Terror.InInshort, short,itithad had been beenthrough throughananera eraofofupheaval upheavalthat thathad hadspared sparednone. none.Whether Whetherone’s one’s leanings leaningswere wereleft leftororright, right,Red RedororWhite, White,whether whetherone’s one’spersonal personalcircumcircumstances stanceshad hadchanged changedfor forthe thebetter betterororchanged changedfor forthe theworse, worse,surely surelyatatlong long last lastititwas wastime timetotodrink drinktotothe thehealth healthofofthe thenation. nation.
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✮✮ AtAtten teno’clock, o’clock,the theCount Countwalked walkedhis hisguests gueststotothe thebelfry belfryand andbid bidthem them goodnight goodnightwith withthe thesame samesense senseofofceremony ceremonythat thathehewould wouldhave haveexhibited exhibited atatthe thedoor doorofofhis hisfamily’s family’sresidence residenceininSt. St.Petersburg. Petersburg.Returning Returningtotohis his quarters, quarters,heheopened openedthe thewindow window(though (thoughititwas wasonly onlythe thesize sizeofofa apostage postage stamp), stamp),poured pouredthe thelast lastofofthe thebrandy, brandy,and andtook tooka aseat seatatatthe thedesk. desk. Built Builtininthe theParis ParisofofLouis LouisXVI XVIwith withthe thegilded gildedaccents accentsand andleather leathertop top ofofthe theera, era,the thedesk deskhad hadbeen beenleft lefttotothe theCount Countbybyhis hisgodfather, godfather,Grand Grand Duke DukeDemidov. Demidov.AAman manofofgreat greatwhite whitesideburns, sideburns,pale paleblue blueeyes, eyes,and and golden goldenepaulettes, epaulettes,the theGrand GrandDuke Dukespoke spokefour fourlanguages languagesand andread readsix. six. Never Nevertotowed, wed,heherepresented representedhis hiscountry countryatatPortsmouth, Portsmouth,managed managedthree three estates, estates,and andgenerally generallyprized prizedindustry industryover overnonsense. nonsense.But Butbefore beforeallallofof that, that,hehehad hadserved servedalongside alongsidethe theCount’s Count’sfather fatherasasa adevildevil-maymay-care carecadet cadet ininthe thecavalry. cavalry.Thus Thushad hadthe theGrand GrandDuke Dukebecome becomethe theCount’s Count’swatchful watchful guardian. guardian.And Andwhen whenthe theCount’s Count’sparents parentssuccumbed succumbedtotocholera cholerawithin within hours hoursofofeach eachother otherinin1900, 1900,ititwas wasthe theGrand GrandDuke Dukewho whotook tookthe theyoung young Count Countaside asideand andexplained explainedthat thathehemust mustbebestrong strongfor forhis hissister’s sister’ssake; sake; that thatadversity adversitypresents presentsitself itselfininmany manyforms; forms;and andthat thatififa aman mandoes doesnot not master masterhis hiscircumstances circumstancesthen thenheheisisbound boundtotobebemastered masteredbybythem. them. The TheCount Countran ranhis hishand handacross acrossthe thedesk’s desk’sdimpled dimpledsurface. surface. How Howmany manyofofthe theGrand GrandDuke’s Duke’swords wordsdid didthose thosefaint faintindentations indentations reflect? reflect?Here Hereover overforty fortyyears yearshad hadbeen beenwritten writtenconcise conciseinstructions instructionstotocarecaretakers; takers;persuasive persuasivearguments argumentstotostatesmen; statesmen;exquisite exquisitecounsel counseltotofriends. friends.InIn other otherwords, words,ititwas wasa adesk desktotobebereckoned reckonedwith. with. Emptying Emptyinghis hisglass, glass,the theCount Countpushed pushedhis hischair chairback backand andsat saton onthe the floor. floor.He Heran ranhis hishand handbehind behindthe thedesk’s desk’sright rightfront frontleg leguntil untilhehefound foundthe the catch. catch.When Whenhehepressed pressedit,it,a aseamless seamlessdoor dooropened openedtotoreveal reveala avelvetvelvet-lined lined hollow hollowthat, that,like likethe thehollows hollowsininthe theother otherthree threelegs, legs,was wasstacked stackedwith with pieces piecesofofgold. gold.
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hen henhehebegan begantotostir stiratathalf halfpast pastnine, nine,ininthe theshapeless shapelessmoments moments before beforethe thereturn returntotoconsciousness consciousnessCount CountAlexander AlexanderIlyich IlyichRostov Rostov savored savoredthe thetaste tasteofofthe theday daytotocome. come. Within Withinthe thehour, hour,hehewould wouldbebeininthe thewarm warmspring springair airstriding stridingalong along Tverskaya TverskayaStreet, Street,his hismoustaches moustachesatatfull fullsail. sail.En Enroute, route,hehewould wouldpurpurchase chasethe theHerald Heraldfrom fromthe thestand standon onGazetny GazetnyLane, Lane,hehewould wouldpass passFilipFilippov’s pov’s(pausing (pausingonly onlybriefly brieflytotoeye eyethe thepastries pastriesininthe thewindow) window)and andthen then continue continueon ontotomeet meetwith withhis hisbankers. bankers. But Butcoming comingtotoa ahalt haltatatthe thecurb curb(in (inorder ordertotothe theletletthe thetraffic trafficpass), pass), the theCount Countwould wouldnote notethat thathis hislunch lunchatatthe theJockey JockeyClub Clubwas wasscheduled scheduled for fortwo twoo’o’ clock— clock—and andthat thatwhile whilehis hisbankers bankerswere wereexpecting expectinghim himatathalf half past pastten, ten,they theywere werefor forallallintents intentsand andpurposes purposesininthe theemploy employofoftheir their depositors, depositors,and andthus thuscould couldpresumably presumablybebekept keptwaiting. waiting.. . . . . With Withthese these thoughts thoughtsininmind, mind,hehewould woulddouble doubleback backand, and,taking takinghis histop tophat hatfrom fromhis his head, head,open openFilippov’s Filippov’sdoor. door. InInananinstant, instant,his hissenses senseswould wouldbeberewarded rewardedbybythe theindisputable indisputableevievidence denceofofthe thebaker’s baker’smastery. mastery.Drifting Driftingininthe theair airwould wouldbebethe thegentle gentlearoma aroma ofoffreshly freshlybaked bakedpretzels, pretzels,sweet sweetrolls, rolls,and andloaves loavesofofbread breadsosounparalleled unparalleled they theywere weredelivered delivereddaily dailytotothe theHermitage Hermitagebybytrain— train—while whilearranged arrangedinin perfect perfectrows rowsbehind behindthe theglass glassofofthe thefront frontcase casewould wouldbebecakes cakestopped toppedinin frostings frostingsasasvaried variedinincolor colorasasthe thetulips tulipsofofAmsterdam. Amsterdam.Approaching Approachingthe the counter, counter,the theCount Countwould wouldask askthe theyoung younglady ladywith withthe thelight lightblue blueapron apronfor for a amillemillefeuille feuille(how (howaptly aptlynamed) named)and andwatch watchwith withadmiration admirationasasshe sheused used a teaspoon a teaspoontotogently gentlynudge nudgethe thedelicacy delicacyfrom froma asilver silverspade spadeonto ontoa aporceporcelain lainplate. plate. His Hisrefreshment refreshmentininhand, hand,the theCount Countwould wouldtake takea aseat seatasasclose closeasaspospossible sibletotothe thelittle littletable tableininthe thecorner cornerwhere whereyoung youngladies ladiesofoffashion fashionmet met each eachmorning morningtotoreview reviewthe theprevious previousevening’s evening’sintrigues. intrigues.Mindful Mindfulofof their theirsurroundings, surroundings,the thethree threedamsels damselswould wouldinitially initiallyspeak speakininthe thehushed hushed
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voices voicesofofgentility; gentility;but butswept sweptaway awaybybythe thecurrents currentsofoftheir theirown ownemoemotions, tions,their theirvoices voiceswould wouldinevitably inevitablyrise, rise,such suchthat thatbyby11:15, 11:15,even eventhe themost most discreet discreetenjoyer enjoyerofofa apastry pastrywould wouldhave haveno nochoice choicebut buttotoeavesdrop eavesdropon on the thethousandthousand-layered layeredcomplications complicationsofoftheir theirhearts. hearts. By By11:45, 11:45,having havingcleaned cleanedhis hisplate plateand andbrushed brushedthe thecrumbs crumbsfrom fromhis his moustaches, moustaches,having havingwaved waveda athanks thankstotothe thegirl girlbehind behindthe thecounter counterand and tipped tippedhis hishat hattotothe thethree threeyoung youngladies ladieswith withwhom whomhehehad hadbriefly brieflychatted, chatted, hehewould wouldstep stepback backonto ontoTverskaya TverskayaStreet Streetand andpause pausetotoconsider: consider:What What next? next?Perhaps Perhapshehewould wouldstop stopbybyGalerie GalerieBertrand Bertrandtotosee seethe thelatest latestcanvases canvases from fromParis, Paris,ororslip slipinto intothe thehall hallofofthe theConservatory Conservatorywhere wheresome someyouthful youthful quartet quartetwas wastrying tryingtotomaster mastera abit bitofofBeethoven; Beethoven;perhaps perhapshehewould wouldsimply simply circle circleback backtotothe theAlexander AlexanderGardens, Gardens,where wherehehecould couldfind finda abench benchand and admire admirethe thelilacs lilacsasasa apigeon pigeoncooed cooedand andshuffled shuffleditsitsfeet feeton onthe thecopper copper flashing flashingofofthe thesill. sill. On Onthe thecopper copperflashing flashingofofthe thesill sill. . . . “Ah, “Ah,yes,” yes,”acknowledged acknowledgedthe theCount. Count.“I“Isuppose supposethere’s there’stotobebenone none of that.” of that.” IfIfthe theCount Countwere weretotoclose closehis hiseyes eyesand androll rolltotothe thewall, wall,was wasititpossible possible that thathehecould couldreturn returntotohis hisbench benchjust justinintime timetotoremark, remark,What Whata alovely lovely coincidence, coincidence,when whenthe thethree threeyoung youngladies ladiesfrom fromFilippov’s Filippov’shappened happenedby? by? Without Withouta adoubt. doubt.But Butimagining imaginingwhat whatmight mighthappen happenififone’s one’scircumcircumstances stanceswere weredifferent differentwas wasthe theonly onlysure sureroute routetotomadness. madness. Sitting Sittingupright, upright,the theCount Countput putthe thesoles solesofofhis hisfeet feetsquarely squarelyon onthe the uncarpeted uncarpetedfloor floorand andgave gavethe thecompass compasspoints pointsofofhis hismoustaches moustachesa atwist. twist. On Onthe theGrand GrandDuke’s Duke’sdesk deskstood stooda achampagne champagneflute fluteand anda abrandy brandy snifter. snifter.With Withthe thelean leanuprightness uprightnessofofthe theformer formerlooking lookingdown downupon uponthe the squat squatrotundity rotundityofofthe thelatter, latter,one onecould couldnot nothelp helpbut butthink thinkofofDon DonQuixQuixote oteand andSancho SanchoPanza Panzaon onthe theplains plainsofofthe theSierra SierraMorena. Morena.Or OrofofRobin RobinHood Hood and andFriar FriarTuck Tuckininthe theshadows shadowsofofSherwood SherwoodForest. Forest.Or OrofofPrince PrinceHal Haland and Falstaff Falstaffbefore beforethe thegates gatesof— of— But Butthere therewas wasa aknock knockatatthe thedoor. door. The TheCount Countstood stoodand andhit hithis hishead headagainst againstthe theceiling. ceiling. “One “Onemoment,” moment,”hehecalled, called,rubbing rubbinghis hiscrown crownand andrummaging rummagingthrough through his histrunk trunkfor fora arobe. robe.Once Oncesuitably suitablyattired, attired,heheopened openedthe thedoor doortotofind findanan industrious industriousyoung youngfellow fellowstanding standingininthe thehall hallwith withthe theCount’s Count’sdaily daily breakfast— breakfast—a apot potofofcoffee, coffee,two twobiscuits, biscuits,and anda apiece pieceofoffruit fruit(today (todaya aplum). plum).
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“Well “Welldone, done,Yuri! Yuri!Come Comein, in,come comein. in.Set Setititthere, there,set setititthere.” there.” As AsYuri Yuriarranged arrangedthe thebreakfast breakfaston ontop topofofthe thetrunk, trunk,the theCount Countsat satatat the theGrand GrandDuke’s Duke’sdesk deskand andpenned penneda aquick quicknote notetotoone oneKonstantin KonstantinKonKonstantinovich stantinovichofofDurnovksi DurnovksiStreet. Street. “Would “Wouldyou youbebesosokind kindasastotohave havethis thisdelivered, delivered,my myboy?” boy?” Never Neverone onetotoshirk, shirk,Yuri Yurihappily happilytook tookthe thenote, note,promised promisedtotorelay relayititbyby hand, hand,and andaccepted accepteda atip tipwith witha abow. bow.Then Thenatatthe thethreshold thresholdhehepaused. paused. “Shall “ShallI I. . . leave . leavethe thedoor doorajar?” ajar?” ItItwas wasa areasonable reasonablequestion. question.For Forthe theroom roomwas wasrather ratherstuffy, stuffy,and andon on the thesixth sixthfloor floorthere therewas washardly hardlymuch muchrisk riskofofone’s one’sprivacy privacybeing beingcomprocompromised. mised. “Please “Pleasedo.” do.” As AsYuri’s Yuri’ssteps stepssounded soundeddown downthe thebelfry, belfry,the theCount Countplaced placedhis hisnapkin napkin ininhis hislap, lap,poured poureda acup cupofofcoffee, coffee,and andgraced gracedititwith witha afew fewdrops dropsofofcream. cream. Taking Takinghis hisfirst firstsip, sip,hehenoted notedwith withsatisfaction satisfactionthat thatyoung youngYuri Yurimust musthave have sprinted sprintedup upthe theextra extrathree threeflights flightsofofstairs stairsbecause becausethe thecoffee coffeewas wasnot notone one degree degreecolder colderthan thanusual. usual. But Butwhile whilehehewas wasliberating liberatinga awedge wedgeofofthe theplum plumfrom fromitsitspit pitwith withhis his paring paringknife, knife,the theCount Counthappened happenedtotonote notea asilvery silveryshadow, shadow,asasseemingly seemingly insubstantial insubstantialasasa apuff puffofofsmoke, smoke,slipping slippingbehind behindhis histrunk. trunk.Leaning Leaningtoto his hisside sideininorder ordertotopeer peeraround arounda ahighhigh-back backchair, chair,the theCount Countdiscovered discovered that thatthis thiswill-o’will-o’-thethewisp wispwas wasnone noneother otherthan thanthe theMetropol’s Metropol’slobby lobbycat. cat. AAoneone-eyed eyedRussian Russianblue bluewho wholetletnothing nothingwithin withinthe thehotel’s hotel’swalls wallsescape escape his hisnotice, notice,hehehad hadapparently apparentlycome cometotothe theattic attictotoreview reviewthe theCount’s Count’snew new quarters quartersfor forhimself. himself.Stepping Steppingfrom fromthe theshadows, shadows,heheleapt leaptfrom fromthe thefloor floor totothe theAmbassador, Ambassador,from fromthe theAmbassador Ambassadortotothe theside sidetable, table,and andfrom fromthe the side sidetable tabletotothe thetop topofofthe thethreethree-legged leggedbureau, bureau,without withoutmaking makinga asound. sound. Having Havingachieved achievedthis thisvantage vantagepoint, point,hehegave gavethe theroom rooma agood goodhard hardlook look then thenshook shookhis hishead headininfeline felinedisappointment. disappointment. “Yes,” “Yes,”said saidthe theCount Countafter aftercompleting completinghis hisown ownsurvey. survey.“I“Isee seewhat what you youmean.” mean.” The Thecrowded crowdedconfusion confusionofoffurniture furnituregave gavethe theCount’s Count’slittle littledomain domain the thelook lookofofa aconsignment consignmentshop shopininthe theArbat. Arbat.InIna aroom roomthis thissize, size,hehecould could have havemade madedo dowith witha asingle singlehighhigh-back backchair, chair,a asingle singlebedside bedsidetable, table,and anda a single singlelamp. lamp.He Hecould couldhave havemade madedo dowithout withouthis hisgrandmother’s grandmother’sLimoges Limoges altogether. altogether.
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And Andthe thebooks? books?All Allofofthem! them!hehehad hadsaid saidwith withsuch suchbravado. bravado.But Butininthe the light lightofofday, day,hehehad hadtotoadmit admitthat thatthis thisinstruction instructionhad hadbeen beenprompted promptedless less bybygood goodsense sensethan thanbybya arather ratherchildish childishimpulse impulsetotoimpress impressthe thebellhops bellhops and andput putthe theguards guardsinintheir theirplace. place.For Forthe thebooks bookswere werenot noteven eventotothe the Count’s Count’staste. taste.His Hispersonal personallibrary libraryofofmajestic majesticnarratives narrativesbybythe thelikes likesofof Balzac, Balzac,Dickens, Dickens,and andTolstoy Tolstoyhad hadbeen beenleft leftbehind behindininParis. Paris.The Thebooks books the thebellhops bellhopshad hadlugged luggedtotothe theattic attichad hadbeen beenhis hisfather’s father’sand, and,devoted devotedasas they theywere weretotostudies studiesofofrational rationalphilosophy philosophyand andthe thescience scienceofofmodern modern agriculture, agriculture,each eachpromised promisedheft heftand andthreatened threatenedimpenetrability. impenetrability. Without Withouta adoubt, doubt,one onemore morewinnowing winnowingwas wascalled calledfor. for. So, So,having havingbroken brokenhis hisfast, fast,bathed, bathed,and anddressed, dressed,the theCount Countwent wentabout about the thebusiness. business.First, First,hehetried triedthe thedoor doorofofthe theadjacent adjacentroom. room.ItItmust musthave havebeen been blocked blockedon onthe theinside insidebybysomething somethingquite quiteheavy, heavy,for forunder underthe theforce forceofofthe the Count’s Count’sshoulder shoulderititbarely barelybudged. budged.InInthe thenext nextthree threerooms, rooms,the theCount Count found foundflotsam flotsamand andjetsam jetsamfrom fromfloor floortotoceiling. ceiling.But Butininthe thelast lastroom, room,amidst amidst tiles tilesofofslate slateand andstrips stripsofofflashing, flashing,ananample amplespace spacehad hadbeen beencleared clearedaround around a adented dentedold oldsamovar samovarwhere wheresome someroofers roofershad hadonce oncetaken takentheir theirtea. tea. Back Backininhis hisroom, room,the theCount Counthung hunga afew fewjackets jacketsininhis hiscloset. closet.He Heunpacked unpacked some sometrousers trousersand andshirts shirtsinto intothe theback backright rightcorner cornerofofhis hisbureau bureau(to (toensure ensure that thatthe thethreethreelegged leggedbeast beastwouldn’t wouldn’ttopple). topple).Down Downthe thehall hallhehedragged draggedhis his trunk, trunk,half halfofofhis hisfurniture, furniture,and andallallofofhis hisfather’s father’sbooks booksbut butone. one.Thus, Thus,within within ananhour hourhehehad hadreduced reducedhis hisroom roomtotoitsitsessentials: essentials:a adesk deskand andchair, chair,a abed bedand and bedside bedsidetable, table,a ahighhigh-back backchair chairfor forguests, guests,and anda atentenfoot footpassage passagejust justwide wide enough enoughfor fora agentleman gentlemantotocircumambulate circumambulateininreflection. reflection. With Withsatisfaction satisfactionthe theCount Countlooked lookedtoward towardthe thecat cat(who (whowas wasbusy busy licking lickingthe thecream creamfrom fromhis hispaws pawsininthe thecomfort comfortofofthe thehighhigh-back backchair). chair). “What “Whatsay sayyou younow, now,you youold oldpirate?” pirate?” Then Thenhehesat satatathis hisdesk deskand andpicked pickedup upthe theone onevolume volumethat thathehehad had retained. retained.ItItmust musthave havebeen beena adecade decadesince sincethe theCount Counthad hadfirst firstpromised promised himself himselftotoread readthis thiswork workofofuniversal universalacclaim acclaimthat thathis hisfather fatherhad hadheld heldsoso dear. dear.And Andyet, yet,every everytime timehehehad hadpointed pointedhis hisfinger fingeratathis hiscalendar calendarand and declared: declared:This Thisisisthe themonth monthininwhich whichI Ishall shalldevote devotemyself myselftotothe theEssays EssaysofofMichel Michel dedeMontaigne! Montaigne!some somedevilish devilishaspect aspectofoflife lifehad hadpoked pokeditsitshead headininthe thedoor. door. From Fromananunexpected unexpectedcorner cornerhad hadcome comeananexpression expressionofofromantic romanticinterest, interest, which whichcould couldnot notiningood goodconscience consciencebebeignored. ignored.Or Orhis hisbanker bankerhad hadcalled. called. Or Orthe thecircus circushad hadcome cometototown. town.
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Life Lifewill willentice, entice,after afterall. all. But Buthere, here,atatlast, last,circumstance circumstancehad hadconspired conspirednot nottotodistract distractthe theCount, Count, but buttotopresent presenthim himwith withthe thetime timeand andsolitude solitudenecessary necessarytotogive givethe thebook book itsitsdue. due.So, So,with withthe thevolume volumefirmly firmlyininhand, hand,heheput putone onefoot footon onthe thecorner corner ofofthe thebureau, bureau,pushed pushedback backuntil untilhis hischair chairwas wasbalanced balancedon onitsitstwo tworear rear legs, legs,and andbegan begantotoread: read: ByByDiverse DiverseMeans MeansWe WeArrive Arriveatatthe theSame SameEnd End The Thecommonest commonestway wayofofsoftening softeningthe thehearts heartsofofthose thosewe wehave have offended, offended,when, when,vengeance vengeanceininhand, hand,they theyhold holdususatattheir their mercy, mercy,isisbybysubmission submissiontotomove movethem themtotocommiseration commiserationand and pity. pity.However, However,audacity audacityand andsteadfastness— steadfastness—entirely entirelycontrary contrary means— means—have havesometimes sometimesserved servedtotoproduce producethe thesame sameeffect. effect.. . . .
ItItwas wasatatIdlehour Idlehourthat thatthe theCount Counthad hadfirst firstformed formedthe thehabit habitofofreading reading inina atilted tiltedchair. chair. On Onthose thoseglorious gloriousspring springdays dayswhen whenthe theorchards orchardswere wereininbloom bloomand and the thefoxtails foxtailsbobbed bobbedabove abovethe thegrass, grass,heheand andHelena Helenawould wouldseek seekout outa a pleasant pleasantcorner cornertotowhile whileaway awaythe thehours. hours.One Oneday dayititmight mightbebeunder underthe the pergola pergolaon onthe theupper upperpatio patioand andthe thenext nextbeside besidethe thegreat greatelm elmthat thatoveroverlooked lookedthe thebend bendininthe theriver. river.As AsHelena Helenaembroidered, embroidered,the theCount Countwould would tilt tiltback backhis hischair— chair—balancing balancinghimself himselfbybyresting restinga afoot footlightly lightlyon onthe thelip lip ofofthe thefountain fountainororthe thetrunk trunkofofthe thetree— tree—ininorder ordertotoread readaloud aloudfrom fromher her favorite favoriteworks worksofofPushkin. Pushkin.And Andhour hourupon uponhour, hour,stanza stanzaupon uponstanza, stanza,her her little littleneedle needlewould wouldgo goround roundand andround. round. “Where “Whereare areallallthose thosestitches stitchesheaded?” headed?”hehewould wouldoccasionally occasionallydemand demand atatthe theend endofofa apage. page.“Surely, “Surely,bybynow, now,every everypillow pillowininthe thehousehold householdhas has been beengraced gracedbybya abutterfly butterflyand andevery everyhandkerchief handkerchiefbybya amonogram.” monogram.”And And when whenheheaccused accusedher herofofunwinding unwindingher herstitches stitchesatatnight nightlike likePenelope Penelope just justsosothat thathehewould wouldhave havetotoread readher heranother anothervolume volumeofofverse, verse,she shewould would smile smileinscrutably. inscrutably. Looking Lookingup upfrom fromthe thepages pagesofofMontaigne, Montaigne,the theCount Countrested restedhis hisgaze gaze on onHelena’s Helena’sportrait, portrait,which whichwas wasleaning leaningagainst againstthe thewall. wall.Painted PaintedatatIdleIdlehour hourininthe themonth monthofofAugust, August,ititdepicted depictedhis hissister sisteratatthe thedining diningroom room table tablebefore beforea aplate plateofofpeaches. peaches.How Howwell wellSerov Serovhad hadcaptured capturedher herlikeness— likeness— with withher herhair hairasasblack blackasasa araven’s, raven’s,her hercheeks cheekslightly lightlyflushed, flushed,her herexpression expression
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tender tenderand andforgiving. forgiving.Perhaps Perhapsthere therehad hadbeen beensomething somethingininthose thosestitches, stitches, thought thoughtthe theCount, Count,some somegentle gentlewisdom wisdomthat thatshe shewas wasmastering masteringthrough through the thecompletion completionofofevery everylittle littleloop. loop.Yes, Yes,with withsuch suchkindheartedness kindheartednessatatthe the age ageofoffourteen, fourteen,one onecould couldonly onlyimagine imaginethe thegrace graceshe shemight mighthave haveexhibexhibited itedatatthe theage ageofoftwentytwenty-five. five.. . . . The TheCount Countwas wasroused rousedfrom fromthis thisreverie reveriebybya adelicate delicatetapping. tapping.ClosClosing inghis hisfather’s father’sbook, book,hehelooked lookedback backtotofind finda asixtysixtyyearyear-old oldGreek Greekininthe the doorway. doorway. “Konstantin “KonstantinKonstantinovich!” Konstantinovich!” Letting Lettingthe thefront frontlegs legsofofhis hischair chairland landon onthe thefloor floorwith witha athump, thump,the the Count Countcrossed crossedtotothe thethreshold thresholdand andtook tookhis hisvisitor’s visitor’shand. hand. “I“Iam amsosoglad gladyou youcould couldcome. come.We Wehave haveonly onlymet metonce onceorortwice, twice,soso you youmay maynot notremember, remember,but butI Iam amAlexander AlexanderRostov.” Rostov.” The Theold oldGreek Greekgave gavea abow bowtotoshow showthat thatno noreminder reminderwas wasnecessary. necessary. “Come “Comein, in,come comein. in.Have Havea aseat.” seat.” Waving WavingMontaigne’s Montaigne’smasterpiece masterpieceatatthe theoneone-eyed eyedcat cat(who (wholeapt leapttoto the thefloor floorwith witha ahiss), hiss),the theCount Countoffered offeredhis hisguest guestthe thehighhigh-back backchair chairand and took tookthe thedesk deskchair chairfor forhimself. himself. InInthe themoment momentthat thatensued, ensued,the theold oldGreek Greekreturned returnedthe theCount’s Count’sgaze gaze with withananexpression expressionofofmoderate moderatecuriosity— curiosity—which whichwas wastotobebeexpected, expected, perhaps, perhaps,given giventhat thatthey theyhad hadnever nevermet meton ona amatter matterofofbusiness. business.After Afterall, all, the theCount Countwas wasnot notaccustomed accustomedtotolosing losingatatcards. cards.SoSothe theCount Counttook tookitit upon uponhimself himselftotobegin. begin. “As “Asyou youcan cansee, see,Konstantin, Konstantin,my mycircumstances circumstanceshave havechanged.” changed.” The TheCount’s Count’sguest guestallowed allowedhimself himselfananexpression expressionofofsurprise. surprise. “No, “No,ititisistrue,” true,”said saidthe theCount. Count.“They “Theyhave havechanged changedquite quitea abit.” bit.” Looking Lookingonce onceabout aboutthe theroom, room,the theold oldGreek Greekraised raisedhis hishands handstoto acknowledge acknowledgethe thedoleful dolefulimpermanence impermanenceofofcircumstances, circumstances, “Perhaps “Perhapsyou youare arelooking lookingfor foraccess accesstotosome some. . . capital?” . capital?”heheventured. ventured. InInmaking makingthis thissuggestion, suggestion,the theold oldGreek Greekpaused pausedever eversosobriefly brieflybefore before the theword wordcapital. capital.And Andininthe theCount’s Count’sconsidered consideredopinion, opinion,ititwas wasa aperfect perfect pause— pause—one onemastered masteredover overdecades decadesofofdelicate delicateconversations. conversations.ItItwas wasa apause pause with withwhich whichheheexpressed expressedananelement elementofofsympathy sympathyfor forhis hisinterlocutor interlocutorwithwithout outsuggesting suggestingfor foreven evenananinstant instantthat thatthere therehad hadbeen beena achange changeinintheir their relative relativestations. stations. “No, “No,no,” no,”assured assuredthe theCount Countwith witha ashake shakeofofthe thehead headtotoemphasize emphasize
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that thatborrowing borrowingwas wasnot nota ahabit habitofofthe theRostovs. Rostovs.“On “Onthe thecontrary, contrary,KonKonstantin, stantin,I Ihave havesomething somethingthat thatI Ithink thinkwill willbebeofofinterest interesttotoyou.” you.”Then, Then,asas ififfrom fromthin thinair, air,the theCount Countproduced producedone oneofofthe thecoins coinsfrom fromthe theGrand Grand Duke’s Duke’sdesk, desk,balancing balancingititupright uprighton onthe thetip tipofofa afinger fingerand andthumb. thumb. The Theold oldGreek Greekstudied studiedthe thecoin coinfor fora asecond secondand andthen, then,inina asign signofof appreciation, appreciation,slowly slowlyexhaled. exhaled.For Forwhile whileKonstantin KonstantinKonstantinovich Konstantinovichwas was a alender lenderbybytrade, trade,his hisart artwas wastotosee seeananitem itemfor fora aminute, minute,totohold holdititfor fora a moment, moment,and andtotoknow knowitsitstrue trueworth. worth. “May “MayI I. . . ?” . ?”heheasked. asked. “By “Byallallmeans.” means.” He Hetook tookthe thecoin, coin,turned turnedititonce, once,and andhanded handedititback backwith withreverence. reverence. For Fornot notonly onlywas wasthe thepiece piecepure pureininthe themetallurgical metallurgicalsense, sense,the thewinking winking double doubleeagle eagleon onthe thereverse reverseconfirmed confirmedtotothe theexperienced experiencedeye eyethat thatititwas was one oneofofthe thefive fivethousand thousandcoins coinsminted mintedinincommemoration commemorationofofCatherine Catherine the theGreat’s Great’scoronation. coronation.Such Sucha apiece piecepurchased purchasedfrom froma agentleman gentlemanininneed need could couldbebesold soldatata areasonable reasonableprofit profittotothe themost mostcautious cautiousofofbanking bankinghouses houses ininthe thebest bestofoftimes. times.But Butinina aperiod periodofofupheaval? upheaval?Even Evenasasthe thedemand demandfor for common commonluxuries luxuriescollapsed, collapsed,the thevalue valueofofa atreasure treasurelike likethis thiswould wouldbebeon on the therise. rise. “Excuse “Excusemy mycuriosity, curiosity,Your YourExcellency, Excellency,but butisisthat thata a. . . lonely . lonelypiece?” piece?” “Lonely? “Lonely?Oh, Oh,no,” no,”replied repliedthe theCount Countwith witha ashake shakeofofthe thehead. head.“It “Itlives lives like likea asoldier soldierinina abarracks. barracks.Like Likea aslave slaveinina agalley. galley.Not Nota amoment momenttoto itself, itself,I’m I’mafraid.” afraid.” The Theold oldGreek Greekexhaled exhaledagain. again. “Well “Wellthen then. . .” . .” And Andinina amatter matterofofminutes minutesthe thetwo twomen menhad hadstruck struckananarrangement arrangement without withouta ahem hemororhaw. haw.What Whatisismore, more,the theold oldGreek Greeksaid saidititwould wouldbebehis his pleasure pleasuretotopersonally personallydeliver deliverthree threenotes, notes,which whichthe theCount Countpenned pennedon on the thespot. spot.Then Thenthey theyshook shookhands handslike likefamiliars familiarsand andagreed agreedtotosee seeeach each other otherthree threemonths monthshence. hence. But Butjust justasasthe theold oldGreek Greekwas wasabout abouttotostep stepthrough throughthe thedoor, door,hehe paused. paused. “Your “YourExcellency Excellency. . . May . MayI Iask aska apersonal personalquestion?” question?” “By “Byallallmeans.” means.” He Hegestured gesturedalmost almostshyly shylytotothe theGrand GrandDuke’s Duke’sdesk. desk. “Can “Canwe weexpect expectmore moreverses versesfrom fromyou?” you?”
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The TheCount Countoffered offeredananappreciative appreciativesmile. smile. “I“Iam amsorry sorrytotosay, say,Konstantin, Konstantin,that thatmy mydays daysofofpoetry poetryare arebehind behindme.” me.” “If “Ifyour yourdays daysofofpoetry poetryare arebehind behindyou, you,Count CountRostov, Rostov,then thenititisiswe we who whoare aresorry.” sorry.”
✮✮ Tucked Tuckeddiscreetly discreetlyinto intothe thenortheast northeastcorner cornerofofthe thehotel’s hotel’ssecond secondfloor floorwas was the theBoyarsky— Boyarsky—the thefinest finestrestaurant restaurantininMoscow, Moscow,ififnot notininallallofofRussia. Russia. With Withvaulted vaultedceilings ceilingsand anddark darkred redwalls wallsreminiscent reminiscentofofa aboyar’s boyar’sretreat, retreat, the theBoyarsky Boyarskyboasted boastedthe thecity’s city’smost mostelegant elegantdécor, décor,itsitsmost mostsophisticated sophisticated waitstaff, waitstaff,and anditsitsmost mostsubtle subtlechef chefdedecuisine. cuisine. SoSorenowned renownedwas wasthe theexperience experienceofofdining diningatatthe theBoyarsky Boyarskythat thaton onany any given givennight nightone onemight mighthave havetotoelbow elbowone’s one’sway waythrough througha acrowd crowdofofhopehopefuls fulsjust justtotocatch catchthe theeye eyeofofAndrey, Andrey,asashehepresided presidedover overthe thelarge largeblack black book bookininwhich whichthe thenames namesofofthe thefortunate fortunatewere wereset setdown; down;and andwhen whenbeckbeckoned onedahead aheadbybythe themaître maîtred’,d’,one onecould couldexpect expecttotobebestopped stoppedfive fivetimes timesinin four fourlanguages languageson onthe theway waytotoone’s one’stable tableininthe thecorner, corner,where whereone onewould wouldbebe served servedflawlessly flawlesslybybya awaiter waiterinina awhite whitedinner dinnerjacket. jacket. That Thatis,is,one onecould couldexpect expectthis thisuntil until1920 1920when, when,having havingalready alreadysealed sealed the theborders, borders,the theBolsheviks Bolsheviksdecided decidedtotoprohibit prohibitthe theuse useofofrubles rublesininfine fine restaurants— restaurants—effectively effectivelyclosing closingthem themtoto9999percent percentofofthe thepopulation. population.SoSo tonight, tonight,asasthe theCount Countbegan begantotoeat eathis hisentrée, entrée,water waterglasses glassesclinked clinkedagainst against cutlery, cutlery,couples coupleswhispered whisperedawkwardly, awkwardly,and andeven eventhe thebest bestofofwaiters waitersfound found himself himselfstaring staringatatthe theceiling. ceiling. But Butevery everyperiod periodhas hasitsitsvirtues, virtues,even evena atime timeofofturmoil. turmoil.. . . . When WhenEmile EmileZhukovsky Zhukovskywas waslured luredtotothe theMetropol Metropolasaschef chefdedecuisine cuisine inin1912, 1912,hehewas wasgiven givencommand commandofofa aseasoned seasonedstaff staffand anda asizable sizablekitchen. kitchen. InInaddition, addition,hehehad hadthe themost mostcelebrated celebratedlarder lardereast eastofofVienna. Vienna.On Onhis his spice spiceshelves shelveswas wasa acompendium compendiumofofthe theworld’s world’spredilections predilectionsand andininhis his cooler coolera acomprehensive comprehensivesurvey surveyofofbirds birdsand andbeasts beastshanging hangingfrom fromhooks hooks bybytheir theirfeet. feet.As Assuch, such,one onemight mightnaturally naturallyleap leaptotothe theconclusion conclusionthat that 1912 1912had hadbeen beena aperfect perfectyear yearininwhich whichtotomeasure measurethe thechef’s chef’stalents. talents.But Butinin a aperiod periodofofabundance abundanceany anyhalfhalfwit witwith witha aspoon spooncan canplease pleasea apalate. palate.To To truly trulytest testa achef’s chef’singenuity, ingenuity,one onemust mustinstead insteadlook looktotoa aperiod periodofofwant. want. And Andwhat whatprovides provideswant wantbetter betterthan thanwar? war?
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InInthe theRevolution’s Revolution’saftermath— aftermath— with withitsitseconomic economicdeclines, declines,failed failedcrops, crops, and andhalted haltedtrade— trade—refined refinedingredients ingredientsbecame becameasasscarce scarceininMoscow Moscowasasbutbutterflies terfliesatatsea. sea.The TheMetropol’s Metropol’slarder larderwas wasdepleted depletedbushel bushelbybybushel, bushel,pound pound bybypound, pound,dash dashbybydash, dash,and anditsitschef chefwas wasleft lefttotomeet meetthe theexpectations expectationsofofhis his audience audiencewith withcornmeal, cornmeal,cauliflower, cauliflower,and andcabbage— cabbage—that thatisistotosay, say,with with whatever whateverhehecould couldget gethis hishands handson. on. Yes, Yes,some someclaimed claimedEmile EmileZhukovsky Zhukovskywas wasa acurmudgeon curmudgeonand andothers others called calledhim himabrupt. abrupt.Some Somesaid saidhehewas wasa ashort shortman manwith witha ashorter shortertemper. temper. But Butnone nonecould coulddispute disputehis hisgenius. genius.Just Justconsider considerthe thedish dishthe theCount Countwas was finishing finishingatatthat thatvery verymoment: moment:a asaltimbocca saltimboccafashioned fashionedfrom fromnecessity. necessity. InInplace placeofofa acutlet cutletofofveal, veal,Emile Emilehad hadpounded poundedflat flata abreast breastofofchicken. chicken.InIn place placeofofprosciutto prosciuttodedeParma, Parma,hehehad hadshaved shaveda aUkrainian Ukrainianham. ham.And Andinin place placeofofsage, sage,that thatdelicate delicateleaf leafthat thatbinds bindsthe theflavors flavorstogether? together?He Hehad had opted optedfor forananherb herbthat thatwas wasasassoft softand andaromatic aromaticasassage, sage,but butmore morebitter bittertoto the thetaste. taste.. . . . . ItItwasn’t wasn’tbasil basilorororegano, oregano,ofofthat thatthe theCount Countwas wascertain, certain, but buthehehad haddefinitely definitelyencountered encounteredititsomewhere somewherebefore. before.. . . . “How “Howisiseverything everythingthis thisevening, evening,Your YourExcellency?” Excellency?” “Ah, “Ah,Andrey. Andrey.As Asusual, usual,everything everythingisisperfect.” perfect.” “And “Andthe thesaltimbocca?” saltimbocca?” “Inspired. “Inspired.But ButI do I dohave haveone onequestion: question:The Theherb herbthat thatEmile Emilehas hastucked tucked under underthe theham— ham—I Iknow knowititisn’t isn’tsage. sage.By Byany anychance, chance,isisititnettle?” nettle?” “Nettle? “Nettle?I Idon’t don’tbelieve believeso. so.But ButI Iwill willinquire.” inquire.” Then Thenwith witha abow, bow,the themaître maîtred’d’excused excusedhimself. himself. Without Withouta adoubt doubtEmile EmileZhukovsky Zhukovskywas wasa agenius, genius,reflected reflectedthe theCount, Count, but butthe theman manwho whosecured securedthe theBoyarsky’s Boyarsky’sreputation reputationfor forexcellence excellencebyby ensuring ensuringthat thatallallwithin withinitsitswalls wallsran ransmoothly smoothlywas wasAndrey AndreyDuras. Duras. Born Bornininthe thesouth southofofFrance, France,Andrey Andreywas washandsome, handsome,tall, tall,and andgraying graying atatthe thetemples, temples,but buthis hismost mostdistinguishing distinguishingfeature featurewas wasnot nothis hislooks, looks,his his height, height,ororhis hishair. hair.ItItwas washis hishands. hands.Pale Paleand andwell wellmanicured, manicured,his hisfingers fingers were werehalf halfananinch inchlonger longerthan thanthe thefingers fingersofofmost mostmen menhis hisheight. height.Had Hadhehe been beena apianist, pianist,Andrey Andreycould couldeasily easilyhave havestraddled straddleda atwelfth. twelfth.Had Hadhehebeen been a apuppeteer, puppeteer,hehecould couldhave haveperformed performedthe thesword swordfight fightbetween betweenMacbeth Macbeth and andMacduff Macduffasasallallthree threewitches witcheslooked lookedon. on.But ButAndrey Andreywas wasneither neithera a pianist pianistnor nora apuppeteer— puppeteer—ororatatleast leastnot notininthe thetraditional traditionalsense. sense.He Hewas was the thecaptain captainofofthe theBoyarsky, Boyarsky,and andone onewatched watchedininwonder wonderasashis hishands handsfulfulfilled filledtheir theirpurpose purposeatatevery everyturn. turn.
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Having Havingjust justled leda agroup groupofofwomen womentototheir theirtable, table,for forinstance, instance,Andrey Andrey seemed seemedtotopull pullback backtheir theirchairs chairsallallatatonce. once.When Whenone oneofofthe theladies ladiesproproduced duceda acigarette, cigarette,hehehad hada alighter lighterininone onehand handand andwas wasguarding guardingthe the flame flamewith withthe theother other(as (asififa adraft drafthad hadever everbeen beenfelt feltwithin withinthe thewalls wallsofof the theBoyarsky!). Boyarsky!).And Andwhen whenthe thewoman womanholding holdingthe thewine winelist listasked askedfor fora a recommendation, recommendation,hehedidn’t didn’tpoint pointtotothe the1900 1900Bordeaux— Bordeaux—atatleast leastnot notinin the theTeutonic Teutonicsense. sense.Rather, Rather,heheslightly slightlyextended extendedhis hisindex indexfinger fingerinina a manner mannerreminiscent reminiscentofofthat thatgesture gestureon onthe theSistine SistineChapel’s Chapel’sceiling ceilingwith with which whichthe thePrime PrimeMover Movertransmitted transmittedthe thespark sparkofoflife. life.Then, Then,excusing excusing himself himselfwith witha abow, bow,hehecrossed crossedthe theroom roomand andwent wentthrough throughthe thekitchen kitchen door. door. But Butbefore beforea aminute minutecould couldpass, pass,the thedoor doorswung swungopen openagain— again—and andthere there was wasEmile. Emile. Five Fivefoot footfive fiveand andtwo twohundred hundredpounds, pounds,the thechef chefglanced glancedquickly quicklyabout about the theroom roomthen thenmarched marchedtoward towardthe theCount Countwith withAndrey Andreytrailing trailingbehind. behind. As Ashehecrossed crossedthe thedining diningroom, room,the thechef chefknocked knockedinto intoa acustomer’s customer’schair chair and andnearly nearlytoppled toppleda abusboy busboywith withhis histray. tray.Coming Comingtotoananabrupt abruptstop stopatatthe the Count’s Count’stable, table,hehelooked lookedhim himup upand anddown downasasone onemight mightmeasure measureananoppoopponent nentbefore beforechallenging challenginghim himtotoa aduel. duel. “Bravo, “Bravo,monsieur,” monsieur,”hehesaid saidinina atone toneofofindignation. indignation.“Bravo!” “Bravo!” Then Thenheheturned turnedon onhis hisheels heelsand anddisappeared disappearedback backinto intohis hiskitchen. kitchen. Andrey, Andrey,a alittle littlebreathless, breathless,bowed bowedtotoexpress expressboth bothapologies apologiesand andconcongratulations. gratulations. “Nettle “Nettleititwas, was,Your YourExcellency. Excellency.Your Yourpalate palateremains remainsunsurpassed.” unsurpassed.” Though Thoughthe theCount Countwas wasnot nota aman mantotogloat, gloat,hehecould couldnot notrepress repressa a smile smileofofsatisfaction. satisfaction. Knowing Knowingthat thatthe theCount Counthad hada asweet sweettooth, tooth,Andrey Andreygestured gesturedtoward toward the thedessert dessertcart. cart. “May “MayI Ibring bringyou youa aslice sliceofofplum plumtart tartwith withour ourcompliments compliments. . . ?” . ?” “Thank “Thankyou youfor forthe thethought, thought,Andrey. Andrey.Normally, Normally,I Iwould wouldleap leapatatthe the chance. chance.But Buttonight, tonight,I Iam amotherwise otherwisecommitted.” committed.”
✮✮ Having Havingacknowledged acknowledgedthat thata aman manmust mustmaster masterhis hiscircumstances circumstancesororothotherwise erwisebebemastered masteredbybythem, them,the theCount Countthought thoughtititworth worthconsidering considering
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how howone onewas wasmost mostlikely likelytotoachieve achievethis thisaim aimwhen whenone onehad hadbeen beensensentenced tencedtotoa alife lifeofofconfinement. confinement. For ForEdmond EdmondDantès Dantèsininthe theChâteau Châteaud’If, d’If,ititwas wasthoughts thoughtsofofrevenge revenge that thatkept kepthim himclear clearminded. minded.Unjustly Unjustlyimprisoned, imprisoned,hehesustained sustainedhimself himself bybyplotting plottingthe thesystematic systematicundoing undoingofofhis hispersonal personalagents agentsofofvillainy. villainy.For For Cervantes, Cervantes,enslaved enslavedbybypirates piratesininAlgiers, Algiers,ititwas wasthe thepromise promiseofofpages pagesasas yet yetunwritten unwrittenthat thatspurred spurredhim himon. on.While Whilefor forNapoleon Napoleonon onElba, Elba,strollstrolling ingamong amongchickens, chickens,fending fendingoff offflies, flies,and andsidestepping sidesteppingpuddles puddlesofofmud, mud, ititwas wasvisions visionsofofa atriumphal triumphalreturn returntotoParis Paristhat thatgalvanized galvanizedhis hiswill willtoto persevere. persevere. But Butthe theCount Counthadn’t hadn’tthe thetemperament temperamentfor forrevenge; revenge;hehehadn’t hadn’tthe the imagination imaginationfor forepics; epics;and andhehecertainly certainlyhadn’t hadn’tthe thefanciful fancifulego egototodream dreamofof empires empiresrestored. restored.No. No.His Hismodel modelfor formastering masteringhis hiscircumstances circumstanceswould would bebea adifferent differentsort sortofofcaptive captivealtogether: altogether:ananAnglican Anglicanwashed washedashore. ashore.Like Like Robinson RobinsonCrusoe Crusoestranded strandedon onthe theIsle IsleofofDespair, Despair,the theCount Countwould wouldmainmaintain tainhis hisresolve resolvebybycommitting committingtotothe thebusiness businessofofpracticalities. practicalities.Having Havingdisdispensed pensedwith withdreams dreamsofofquick quickdiscovery, discovery,the theworld’s world’sCrusoes Crusoesseek seekshelter shelter and anda asource sourceofoffresh freshwater; water;they theyteach teachthemselves themselvestotomake makefire firefrom fromflint; flint; they theystudy studytheir theirisland’s island’stopography, topography,itsitsclimate, climate,itsitsflora floraand andfauna, fauna,allallthe the while whilekeeping keepingtheir theireyes eyestrained trainedfor forsails sailson onthe thehorizon horizonand andfootprints footprintsinin the thesand. sand. ItItwas wastotothis thisend endthat thatthe theCount Counthad hadgiven giventhe theold oldGreek Greekthree threenotes notes totodeliver. deliver.Within Withina amatter matterofofhours, hours,the theCount Counthad hadbeen beenvisited visitedbybytwo two messengers: messengers:a ayoung younglad ladfrom fromMuir Muir&&Mirrielees Mirrieleesbearing bearingfine finelinens linensand and a asuitable suitablepillow; pillow;and andanother anotherfrom fromPetrovsky PetrovskyPassage Passagewith withfour fourbars barsofof the theCount’s Count’sfavorite favoritesoap. soap. And Andthe thethird thirdrespondent? respondent?She Shemust musthave havearrived arrivedwhile whilethe theCount Count was wasatatdinner. dinner.For Forwaiting waitingon onhis hisbed bedwas wasa alight lightblue bluebox boxwith witha asingle single millemille-feuille. feuille.
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ever everhad hadthe thechime chimeofoftwelve twelvebeen beensosowelcome. welcome.Not NotininRussia. Russia.Not Notinin Europe. Europe.Not Notininallallthe theworld. world.Had HadRomeo Romeobeen beentold toldbybyJuliet Julietthat that she would she wouldappear appearatather herwindow windowatatnoon, noon,the theyoung youngVeronan’s Veronan’srapture raptureatat the theappointed appointedhour hourcould couldnot nothave havematched matchedthe theCount’s. Count’s.Had HadDr. Dr.StahlStahlbaum’s baum’schildren— children—Fritz Fritzand andClara— Clara—been beentold toldon onChristmas Christmasmorning morningthat that the thedrawingdrawing-room roomdoors doorswould wouldbebeopened openedatatmidday, midday,their theirelation elationcould could not nothave haverivaled rivaledthe theCount’s Count’supon uponthe thesounding soundingofofthe thefirst firsttoll. toll. For Forhaving havingsuccessfully successfullyfended fendedoff offthoughts thoughtsofofTverskaya TverskayaStreet Street(and (and chance chanceencounters encounterswith withyoung youngladies ladiesofoffashion), fashion),having havingbathed, bathed,dressed, dressed, and andfinished finishedhis hiscoffee coffeeand andfruit fruit(today (todaya afig), fig),shortly shortlyafter afterten tenthe theCount Count had hadeagerly eagerlytaken takenup upMontaigne’s Montaigne’smasterpiece masterpieceonly onlytotodiscover discoverthat thatatat every everyfifteenth fifteenthline, line,his hisgaze gazewas wasdrifting driftingtoward towardthe theclock clock. . . . Admittedly, Admittedly,the theCount Counthad hadfelt felta atouch touchofofconcern concernwhen whenhe’d he’dfirst firstlifted lifted the thebook bookfrom fromthe thedesk deskthe theday daybefore. before.For Forasasa asingle singlevolume, volume,itithad hadthe the density densityofofa adictionary dictionaryororBible— Bible—those thosebooks booksthat thatone oneexpects expectstotoconsult, consult, ororpossibly possiblyperuse, peruse,but butnever neverread. read.But Butititwas wasthe theCount’s Count’sreview reviewofofthe the Contents— Contents—a alist listofof107 107essays essayson onthe thelikes likesofofConstancy, Constancy,Moderation, Moderation,SoliSolitude, tude,and andSleep— Sleep—that thatconfirmed confirmedhis hisinitial initialsuspicion suspicionthat thatthe thebook bookhad had been beenwritten writtenwith withwinter winternights nightsininmind. mind.Without Withouta adoubt, doubt,ititwas wasa abook book for forwhen whenthe thebirds birdshad hadflown flownsouth, south,the thewood woodwas wasstacked stackedbybythe thefireplace, fireplace, and andthe thefields fieldswere werewhite whitewith withsnow; snow;that thatis,is,for forwhen whenone onehad hadno nodesire desiretoto venture ventureout outand andone’s one’sfriends friendshad hadno nodesire desiretotoventure venturein. in. Nonetheless, Nonetheless,with witha aresolute resoluteglance glanceatatthe thetime, time,much muchasasa aseasoned seasonedsea sea captain captainwhen whensetting settingout outon onananextended extendedjourney journeywill willlog logthe theexact exacthour hourhehe sets setssail sailfrom fromport, port,the theCount Countplowed plowedonce onceagain againinto intothe thewaves wavesofofthe thefirst first meditation: meditation:“By “ByDiverse DiverseMeans MeansWe WeArrive Arriveatatthe theSame SameEnd.” End.” InInthis thisopening openingessay— essay—ininwhich whichexamples exampleswere wereexpertly expertlydrawn drawnfrom from the theannals annalsofofhistory— history—the theauthor authorprovided provideda amost mostconvincing convincingargument argument that thatwhen whenone oneisisatatanother’s another’smercy mercyone oneshould shouldplead pleadfor forone’s one’slife. life.
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Or Orremain remainproud proudand andunbent. unbent. AtAtany anyrate, rate,having havingfirmly firmlyestablished establishedthat thateither eitherapproach approachmight might be be the theright rightone, one,the theauthor authorproceeded proceededtotohis hissecond secondmeditation: meditation:“Of “Of Sadness.” Sadness.” Here, Here,Montaigne Montaignequoted quotedananarray arrayofofunimpeachable unimpeachableauthorities authoritiesfrom from the theGolden GoldenAge Agewho whoconfirmed confirmedconclusively conclusivelythat thatsadness sadnessisisananemotion emotion best bestshared. shared. Or Orkept kepttotooneself. oneself. ItItwas wassomewhere somewhereininthe themiddle middleofofthe thethird thirdessay essaythat thatthe theCount Countfound found himself himselfglancing glancingatatthe theclock clockfor forthe thefourth fourthororfifth fifthtime. time.Or Orwas wasititthe the sixth? sixth?While Whilethe theexact exactnumber numberofofglances glancescould couldnot notbebedetermined, determined,the the evidence evidencedid didseem seemtotosuggest suggestthat thatthe theCount’s Count’sattention attentionhad hadbeen beendrawn drawntoto the theclock clockmore morethan thanonce. once. But Butthen, then,what whata achronometer chronometerititwas! was! Made Madetotoorder orderfor forthe theCount’s Count’sfather fatherbybythe thevenerable venerablefirm firmofofBreguet, Breguet, the thetwicetwice-tolling tollingclock clockwas wasa amasterpiece masterpieceininitsitsown ownright. right.ItsItswhite whiteenamel enamel face facehad hadthe thecircumference circumferenceofofa agrapefruit grapefruitand anditsitslapis lapislazuli lazulibody bodysloped sloped asymptotically asymptoticallyfrom fromitsitstop toptotoitsitsbase, base,while whileitsitsjeweled jeweledinner innerworkings workings had hadbeen beencut cutbybycraftsmen craftsmenknown knownthe theworld worldover overfor forananunwavering unwaveringcomcommitment mitmenttotoprecision. precision.And Andtheir theirreputation reputationwas wascertainly certainlywell wellfounded. founded. For Forasasheheprogressed progressedthrough throughthe thethird thirdessay essay(in (inwhich whichPlato, Plato,Aristotle, Aristotle,and and Cicero Cicerohad hadbeen beencrowded crowdedonto ontothe thecouch couchwith withthe theEmperor EmperorMaximilian), Maximilian), the theCount Countcould couldhear hearevery everytick. tick. Ten Tentwenty twentyand andfiftyfifty-six sixseconds, seconds,the theclock clocksaid. said. Ten Tentwenty twentyand andfiftyfifty-seven. seven. FiftyFifty-eight. eight. FiftyFifty-nine. nine. Why, Why,this thisclock clockaccounted accountedthe theseconds secondsasasflawlessly flawlesslyasasHomer Homeraccounted accounted his hisdactyls dactylsand andPeter Peterthe thesins sinsofofthe thesinners. sinners. But Butwhere wherewere werewe? we? Ah, Ah,yes: yes:Essay EssayThree. Three. The TheCount Countshifted shiftedhis hischair chaira alittle littleleftward leftwardininorder ordertotoput putthe theclock clock out outofofview, view,then thenhehesearched searchedfor forthe thepassage passagehe’d he’dbeen beenreading. reading.He Hewas was almost almostcertain certainititwas wasininthe thefifth fifthparagraph paragraphon onthe thefifteenth fifteenthpage. page.But Butasas hehedelved delvedback backinto intothat thatparagraph’s paragraph’sprose, prose,the thecontext contextseemed seemedutterly utterly unfamiliar; unfamiliar;asasdid didthe theparagraphs paragraphsthat thatimmediately immediatelypreceded precededit.it.InInfact, fact,
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hehehad hadtototurn turnback backthree threewhole wholepages pagesbefore beforehehefound founda apassage passagethat thathehe recalled recalledwell wellenough enoughtotoresume resumehis hisprogress progressiningood goodfaith. faith. “Is “Isthat thathow howititisiswith withyou?” you?”the theCount Countdemanded demandedofofMontaigne. Montaigne. “One “Onestep stepforward forwardand andtwo twosteps stepsback?” back?” Intent Intentupon uponshowing showingwho whowas wasmaster masterofofwhom, whom,the theCount Countvowed vowedthat that hehewould wouldnot notlook lookup upfrom fromthe thebook bookagain againuntil untilhehehad hadreached reachedthe thetwentytwentyfifth fifthessay. essay.Spurred Spurredbybyhis hisown ownresolve, resolve,the theCount Countmade madequick quickwork workofof Essays EssaysFour, Four,Five, Five,and andSix. Six.And Andwhen whenhehedispatched dispatchedSeven Sevenand andEight Eightwith with even evenmore morealacrity, alacrity,the thetwentytwenty-fifth fifthessay essayseemed seemedasasclose closeatathand handasasa a pitcher pitcherofofwater wateron ona adining diningroom roomtable. table. But Butasasthe theCount Countadvanced advancedthrough throughEssays EssaysEleven, Eleven,Twelve, Twelve,and andThirThirteen, teen,his hisgoal goalseemed seemedtotorecede recedeinto intothe thedistance. distance.ItItwas wassuddenly suddenlyasasififthe the book bookwere werenot nota adining diningroom roomtable tableatatall, all,but buta asort sortofofSahara. Sahara.And Andhavhaving ingemptied emptiedhis hiscanteen, canteen,the theCount Countwould wouldsoon soonbebecrawling crawlingacross acrossitsits sentences sentenceswith withthe thepeak peakofofeach eachhardhardwon wonpage pagerevealing revealingbut butanother another page pagebeyond. beyond.. . . . Well Wellthen, then,sosobebeit.it.Onward Onwardcrawled crawledthe theCount. Count. On Onpast pastthe thehour hourofofeleven. eleven. On Onpast pastthe thesixteenth sixteenthessay. essay. Until, Until,suddenly, suddenly,that thatlonglong-strided stridedwatchman watchmanofofthe theminutes minutescaught caughtup up with withhis hisbowlegged bowleggedbrother brotheratatthe thetop topofofthe thedial. dial.As Asthe thetwo twoembraced, embraced, the thesprings springswithin withinthe theclock’s clock’scasing casingloosened, loosened,the thewheels wheelsspun, spun,and andthe the miniature miniaturehammer hammerfell, fell,setting settingoff offthe thefirst firstofofthose thosedulcet dulcettones tonesthat thatsigsignaled naledthe thearrival arrivalofofnoon. noon. The Thefront frontfeet feetofofthe theCount’s Count’schair chairfell felltotothe thefloor floorwith witha abang, bang,and and Monsieur MonsieurMontaigne Montaigneturned turnedtwice twiceininthe theair airbefore beforelanding landingon onthe thebedbedcovers. covers.By Bythe thefourth fourthchime chimethe theCount Countwas wasrounding roundingthe thebelfry belfrystairs, stairs, and andbybythe theeighth eighthhehewas waspassing passingthe thelobby lobbyenenroute routetotothe thelower lowerfloor floorfor for his hisweekly weeklyappointment appointmentwith withYaroslav YaroslavYaroslavl, Yaroslavl,the thepeerless peerlessbarber barberofof the theMetropol MetropolHotel. Hotel.
✮✮ For Forover overtwo twocenturies centuries(or (orsosohistorians historianstell tellus), us),ititwas wasfrom fromthe theSt. St.PetersPetersburg burgsalons salonsthat thatour ourcountry’s country’sculture cultureadvanced. advanced.From Fromthose thosegreat greatrooms rooms
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overlooking overlookingthe theFontanka FontankaCanal, Canal,new newcuisines, cuisines,fashions, fashions,and andideas ideasallalltook took their theirfirst firsttentative tentativesteps stepsinto intoRussian Russiansociety. society.But Butififthis thiswas wasso, so,ititwas waslargely largely due duetotothe thehive hiveofofactivity activitybeneath beneaththe theparlor parlorfloors. floors.For Forthere, there,just justa afew few steps stepsbelow belowstreet streetlevel, level,were werethe thebutlers, butlers,cooks, cooks,and andfootmen footmenwho whotogether together ensured ensuredthat thatwhen whenthe thenotions notionsofofDarwin DarwinororManet Manetwere werefirst firstbandied bandied about, about,allallwent wentoff offwithout withouta ahitch. hitch. And Andsosoititwas wasininthe theMetropol. Metropol. Ever Eversince sinceitsitsopening openinginin1905, 1905,the thehotel’s hotel’ssuites suitesand andrestaurants restaurantshad had been beena agathering gatheringspot spotfor forthe theglamorous, glamorous,influential, influential,and anderudite; erudite;but butthe the effortless effortlesselegance eleganceon ondisplay displaywould wouldnot nothave haveexisted existedwithout withoutthe theserservices vicesofofthe thelower lowerfloor: floor: Coming Comingoff offthe thewide widemarble marblesteps stepsthat thatdescended descendedfrom fromthe thelobby, lobby,one one first firstpassed passedthe thenewsstand, newsstand,which whichoffered offereda agentleman gentlemana ahundred hundredheadheadlines, lines,albeit albeitnow nowjust justininRussian. Russian. Next Nextwas wasthe theshop shopofofFatima FatimaFederova, Federova,the theflorist. florist.AAnatural naturalcasualty casualty ofofthe thetimes, times,Fatima’s Fatima’sshelves shelveshad hadbeen beenemptied emptiedand andher herwindows windowspapered papered over overback backinin1920, 1920,turning turningone oneofofthe thehotel’s hotel’sbrightest brightestspots spotsinto intoone oneofofitsits most mostforlorn. forlorn.But Butininitsitsday, day,the theshop shophad hadsold soldflowers flowersbybythe theacre. acre.ItIthad had provided providedthe thetowering toweringarrangements arrangementsfor forthe thelobby, lobby,the thelilies liliesfor forthe the rooms, rooms,the thebouquets bouquetsofofroses rosesthat thatwere weretossed tossedatatthe thefeet feetofofthe theBolshoi Bolshoi ballerinas, ballerinas,asaswell wellasasthe theboutonnieres boutonniereson onthe themen menwho whodid didthe thetossing. tossing. What’s What’smore, more,Fatima Fatimawas wasfluent fluentininthe thefloral floralcodes codesthat thathad hadgoverned governed polite politesociety societysince sincethe theAge AgeofofChivalry. Chivalry.Not Notonly onlydid didshe sheknow knowthe theflower flower that thatshould shouldbebesent sentasasananapology, apology,she sheknew knewwhich whichflower flowertotosend sendwhen when one onehas hasbeen beenlate; late;when whenone onehas hasspoken spokenout outofofturn; turn;and andwhen, when,having having taking takingnotice noticeofofthe theyoung younglady ladyatatthe thedoor, door,one onehas hascarelessly carelesslyovertrumped overtrumped one’s one’spartner. partner.InInshort, short,Fatima Fatimaknew knewa aflower’s flower’sfragrance, fragrance,color, color,and andpurpurpose posebetter betterthan thana abee. bee. Well, Well,Fatima’s Fatima’smay mayhave havebeen beenshuttered, shuttered,reflected reflectedthe theCount, Count,but but weren’t weren’tthe theflower flowershops shopsofofParis Parisshuttered shutteredunder underthe the“reign” “reign”ofofRobesRobespierre, pierre,and anddidn’t didn’tthat thatcity citynow nowabound aboundininblossoms? blossoms?Just Justso, so,the thetime time for flowers for flowersininthe theMetropol Metropolwould wouldsurely surelycome comeagain. again. AtAtthe thevery veryend endofofthe thehall, hall,one onefinally finallycame cametotoYaroslav’s Yaroslav’sbarbershop. barbershop. AAland landofofoptimism, optimism,precision, precision,and andpolitical politicalneutrality, neutrality,ititwas wasthe theSwitSwitzerland zerlandofofthe thehotel. hotel.IfIfthe theCount Counthad hadvowed vowedtotomaster masterhis hiscircumstances circumstances
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through throughpracticalities, practicalities,then thenhere herewas wasa aglimpse glimpseofofthe themeans: means:a areligiously religiously kept keptappointment appointmentfor fora aweekly weeklytrim. trim. When Whenthe theCount Countentered enteredthe theshop, shop,Yaroslav Yaroslavwas wasattending attendingtotoa asilversilverhaired hairedcustomer customerinina alight lightgray graysuit suitwhile whilea aheavyset heavysetfellow fellowinina arumpled rumpled jacket jacketbided bidedhis histime timeon onthe thebench benchbybythe thewall. wall.Greeting Greetingthe theCount Countwith with a asmile, smile,the thebarber barberdirected directedhim himtotothe theempty emptychair chairatathis hisside. side. As Asthe theCount Countclimbed climbedinto intothe thechair, chair,heheoffered offereda afriendly friendlynod nodtotothe the heavyset heavysetfellow, fellow,then thenleaned leanedback backand andletlethis hiseyes eyessettle settleon onthat thatmarvel marvelofof Yaroslav’s Yaroslav’sshop: shop:his hiscabinet. cabinet.Were Wereone onetotoask askLarousse Laroussetotodefine definethe theword word cabinet, cabinet,the theacclaimed acclaimedlexicographer lexicographermight mightreply: reply:AApiece pieceofoffurniture furnitureoften often adorned adornedwith withdecorative decorativedetail detailininwhich whichitems itemsmay maybebestowed stowedaway awayfrom fromsight. sight.AA serviceable serviceabledefinition, definition,no nodoubt— doubt—one onethat thatwould wouldencompass encompasseverything everything from froma akitchen kitchencupboard cupboardininthe thecountryside countrysidetotoa aChippendale ChippendaleininBuckingBuckingham hamPalace. Palace.But ButYaroslav’s Yaroslav’scabinet cabinetwould wouldnot notfitfitsosoneatly neatlyinto intosuch sucha adescripdescription, tion,for forhaving havingbeen beenmade madesolely solelyofofnickel nickeland andglass glassitithad hadbeen beendesigned designednot not totohide hideitsitscontents, contents,but buttotoreveal revealthem themtotothe thenaked nakedeye. eye. And Andrightfully rightfullyso. so.For Forthis thiscabinet cabinetcould couldbebeproud proudofofallallititcontained: contained: French Frenchsoaps soapswrapped wrappedininwaxed waxedpapers; papers;British Britishlathers lathersininivory ivorydrums; drums; Italian Italiantonics tonicsininwhimsically whimsicallyshaped shapedvials. vials.And Andhidden hiddenininthe theback? back?That That little littleblack blackbottle bottlethat thatYaroslav Yaroslavreferred referredtotowith witha awink winkasasthe theFountain Fountain of Youth. of Youth. InInthe themirror’s mirror’sreflection, reflection,the theCount Countnow nowletlethis hisgaze gazeshift shifttotowhere where Yaroslav Yaroslavwas wasworking workinghis hismagic magicon onthe thesilversilver-haired hairedgentleman gentlemanwith with two twosets setsofofscissors scissorssimultaneously. simultaneously.InInYaroslav’s Yaroslav’shands, hands,the thescissors scissorsiniinitially tiallyrecalled recalledthe theentrechat entrechatofofthe thedanseur danseurinina aballet, ballet,his hislegs legsswitching switching back backand andforth forthininmidair. midair.But Butasasthe thebarber barberprogressed, progressed,his hishands handsmoved moved with withincreasing increasingspeed speeduntil untilthey theyleapt leaptand andkicked kickedlike likea aCossack Cossackdoing doing the thehopak! hopak!Upon Uponthe theexecution executionofofthe thefinal finalsnip, snip,ititwould wouldhave havebeen beenperperfectly fectlyappropriate appropriatefor fora acurtain curtaintotodrop droponly onlytotobeberaised raisedagain againa amoment moment later latersosothat thatthe theaudience audiencecould couldapplaud applaudasasthe thebarber barbertook tooka abow. bow. Yaroslav Yaroslavswung swungthe thewhite whitecape capeoff offhis hiscustomer customerand andsnapped snappedititininthe the air; air;heheclicked clickedhis hisheels heelswhen whenaccepting acceptingpayment paymentfor fora ajob jobwell welldone; done;and and asasthe thegentleman gentlemanexited exitedthe theshop shop(looking (lookingyounger youngerand andmore moredistindistinguished guishedthan thanwhen whenhe’d he’darrived), arrived),the thebarber barberapproached approachedthe theCount Countwith with a afresh freshcape. cape.
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“Your “YourExcellency. Excellency.How Howare areyou?” you?” “Splendid, “Splendid,Yaroslav. Yaroslav.AtAtmy myutmost.” utmost.” “And “Andwhat whatisison onthe thedocket docketfor fortoday?” today?” “Just “Justa atrim, trim,my myfriend. friend.Just Justa atrim.” trim.” As Asthe thescissors scissorsbegan begantheir theirdelicate delicatesnipping, snipping,ititseemed seemedtotothe theCount Count that thatthe theheavyset heavysetcustomer customeron onthe thebench benchhad hadundergone undergonesomething somethingofofa a transformation. transformation.Although Althoughthe theCount Counthad hadgiven givenhis hisfriendly friendlynod nodjust just moments momentsbefore, before,ininthe theinterim interimthe thefellow’s fellow’sface faceseemed seemedtotohave havetaken taken on ona arosier rosierhue. hue.The TheCount Countwas wassure sureofofit,it,ininfact, fact,because becausethe thecolor colorwas was spreading spreadingtotohis hisears. ears. The TheCount Counttried triedtotomake makeeye eyecontact contactagain, again,intending intendingtotooffer offeranother another friendly friendlynod, nod,but butthe thefellow fellowhad hadfixed fixedhis hisgaze gazeon onYaroslav’s Yaroslav’sback. back. “I“Iwas wasnext,” next,”hehesaid. said. Yaroslav, Yaroslav,who wholike likemost mostartists artiststended tendedtotolose losehimself himselfininhis hiscraft, craft,concontinued tinuedclipping clippingaway awaywith withefficiency efficiencyand andgrace. grace.So, So,the thefellow fellowwas wasforced forced totorepeat repeathimself, himself,ififa alittle littlemore moreemphatically. emphatically. “I“Iwas wasnext.” next.” Drawn Drawnfrom fromhis hisartistic artisticspell spellbybythe thesharper sharperintonation, intonation,Yaroslav Yaroslavoffered offered a acourteous courteousreply: reply: “I“Iwill willbebewith withyou youininjust justa amoment, moment,sir.” sir.” “That “Thatisiswhat whatyou yousaid saidwhen whenI Iarrived.” arrived.” This Thiswas wassaid saidwith withsuch suchunmistakable unmistakablehostility hostilitythat thatYaroslav Yaroslavpaused paused ininhis hisclipping clippingand andturned turnedtotomeet meethis hiscustomer’s customer’sglare glarewith witha astartled startled expression. expression. Though Thoughthe theCount Counthad hadbeen beenraised raisednever nevertotointerrupt interrupta aconversation, conversation, hehefelt feltthat thatthe thebarber barbershould shouldnot notbebeput putininthe theposition positionofofhaving havingtotoexplain explain the thesituation situationon onhis hisbehalf. behalf.So, So,heheinterceded: interceded: “Yaroslav “Yaroslavmeant meantno nooffense, offense,my mygood goodman. man.ItItjust justsosohappens happensthat thatI I have havea astanding standingappointment appointmentatattwelve twelveo’clock o’clockon onTuesdays.” Tuesdays.” The Thefellow fellownow nowturned turnedhis hisglare glareupon uponthe theCount. Count. “A“Astanding standingappointment,” appointment,”heherepeated. repeated. “Yes.” “Yes.” Then Thenheherose rosesosoabruptly abruptlythat thatheheknocked knockedhis hisbench benchback backinto intothe thewall. wall. AtAtfull fullheight, height,hehewas wasno nomore morethan thanfive fivefoot footsix. six.His Hisfists, fists,which whichjutted juttedfrom from the thecuffs cuffsofofhis hisjacket, jacket,were wereasasred redasashis hisears. ears.When Whenheheadvanced advanceda astep, step, Yaroslav Yaroslavbacked backedagainst againstthe theedge edgeofofhis hiscounter. counter.The Thefellow fellowtook tookanother another
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step steptoward towardthe thebarber barberand andwrested wrestedone oneofofthe thescissors scissorsfrom fromhis hishand. hand. Then, Then,with withthe thedeftness deftnessofofa amuch muchslighter slighterman, man,heheturned, turned,took tookthe theCount Count bybythe thecollar, collar,and andsevered severedthe theright rightwing wingofofhis hismoustaches moustacheswith witha asingle single snip. snip.Tightening Tighteninghis hishold, hold,hehepulled pulledthe theCount Countforward forwarduntil untilthey theywere were nearly nearlynose nosetotonose. nose. “You’ll “You’llhave haveyour yourappointment appointmentsoon soonenough,” enough,”hehesaid. said. Then Thenshoving shovingthe theCount Countback backininthe thechair, chair,hehetossed tossedthe thescissors scissorson on the thefloor floorand andstrolled strolledfrom fromthe theshop. shop. “Your “YourExcellency,” Excellency,”exclaimed exclaimedYaroslav, Yaroslav,aghast. aghast.“I“Ihave havenever neverseen seenthe the man manininmy mylife. life.I Idon’t don’teven evenknow knowififheheresides residesininthe thehotel. hotel.But Butheheisisnot not welcome welcomehere hereagain, again,I Iassure assureyou youofofthat.” that.” The TheCount, Count,who whowas wasstanding standingnow, now,was wasinclined inclinedtotoecho echoYaroslav’s Yaroslav’s indignation indignationand andcommend commenda apunishment punishmentthat thatfitfitthe thecrime. crime.But Butthen, then,what what did didthe theCount Countknow knowabout abouthis hisassailant? assailant? When Whenhehehad hadfirst firstseen seenhim himsitting sittingon onthe thebench benchininhis hisrumpled rumpledjacket, jacket, the theCount Counthad hadsummed summedhim himup upininananinstant instantasassome somehardworking hardworkingsort sort who, who,having havingstumbled stumbledupon uponthe thebarbershop, barbershop,had haddecided decidedtototreat treathimself himselftoto a acut. cut.But Butfor forallallthe theCount Countknew, knew,this thisfellow fellowcould couldhave havebeen beenone oneofofthe the new newresidents residentsofofthe thesecond secondfloor. floor.Having Havingcome comeofofage ageininananironworks, ironworks,hehe could couldhave havejoined joineda aunion unioninin1912, 1912,led leda astrike strikeinin1916, 1916,captained captaineda aRed Redbattalbattalion ioninin1918, 1918,and andnow nowfound foundhimself himselfinincommand commandofofananentire entireindustry. industry. “He “Hewas wasperfectly perfectlyright,” right,”the theCount Countsaid saidtotoYaroslav. Yaroslav.“He “Hehad hadbeen been waiting waitinginingood goodfaith. faith.You Youonly onlywished wishedtotohonor honormy myappointment. appointment.ItItwas was for forme metotocede cedethe thechair chairand andsuggest suggestthat thatyou youattend attendtotohim himfirst.” first.” “But “Butwhat whatare arewe wetotodo?” do?” The TheCount Countturned turnedtotothe themirror mirrorand andsurveyed surveyedhimself. himself.He Hesurveyed surveyed himself, himself,perhaps, perhaps,for forthe thefirst firsttime timeininyears. years. Long Longhad hadhehebelieved believedthat thata agentleman gentlemanshould shouldturn turntotoa amirror mirrorwith with a asense senseofofdistrust. distrust.For Forrather ratherthan thanbeing beingtools toolsofofselfself-discovery, discovery,mirrors mirrors tended tendedtotobebetools toolsofofselfself-deceit. deceit.How Howmany manytimes timeshad hadhehewatched watchedasasa a young youngbeauty beautyturned turnedthirty thirtydegrees degreesbefore beforeher hermirror mirrortotoensure ensurethat thatshe she saw sawherself herselftotothe thebest bestadvantage? advantage?(As (Asififhenceforth henceforthallallthe theworld worldwould would see seeher hersolely solelyfrom fromthat thatangle!) angle!)How Howoften oftenhad hadheheseen seena agrande grandedame dame don dona ahat hatthat thatwas washorribly horriblyout outofoffashion, fashion,but butthat thatseemed seemedauaucourant couranttoto her herbecause becauseher hermirror mirrorhad hadbeen beenframed framedininthe thestyle styleofofthe thesame samebygone bygone era? era?The TheCount Counttook tookpride prideininwearing wearinga awellwell-tailored tailoredjacket; jacket;but buthehetook took
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greater greaterpride prideininknowing knowingthat thata agentleman’s gentleman’spresence presencewas wasbest bestannounced announced bybyhis hisbearing, bearing,his hisremarks, remarks,and andhis hismanners. manners.Not Notbybythe thecut cutofofhis hiscoat. coat. Yes, Yes,thought thoughtthe theCount, Count,the theworld worlddoes doesspin. spin. InInfact, fact,ititspins spinson onitsitsaxis axiseven evenasasititrevolves revolvesaround aroundthe thesun. sun.And Andthe the galaxy galaxyturns turnsasaswell, well,a awheel wheelwithin withina agreater greaterwheel, wheel,producing producinga achime chimeofof ananentirely entirelydifferent differentnature naturethan thanthat thatofofa atiny tinyhammer hammerinina aclock. clock.And Andwhen when that thatcelestial celestialchime chimesounds, sounds,perhaps perhapsa amirror mirrorwill willsuddenly suddenlyserve serveitsitstruer truer purpose— purpose—revealing revealingtotoa aman mannot notwho whoheheimagines imagineshimself himselftotobe, be,but butwho who hehehas hasbecome. become. The TheCount Countresumed resumedhis hisplace placeininthe thechair. chair. “A“Aclean cleanshave,” shave,”hehesaid saidtotothe thebarber. barber.“A“Aclean cleanshave, shave,my myfriend.” friend.”