THORNS NEVER LAST WITHOUT ROSES
Memory for the victims This book is written in memory of all the women who are immigrants in the Middle East. They are victims of violence and oppression by their various employers, who physically and sexually abuse them. This book is also in memory of women immigrants who have escaped the oppression and human violence meted on them by their employers, and those living in unknown places, without chances of returning to their homeland.
Thomas Mamo
THORNS NEVER LAST WITHOUT ROSES
http://thomasmamo.com
Thomas Mamo 2016 Omslagillustration: Bes Rakthai Förlag: BoD – Books on Demand, Stockholm, Sverige Tryck: BoD – Books on Demand, Norderstedt, Tyskland
ISBN: 978-91-7569-439-9
Acknowledgments I want to thank my family members who have encouraged me in the writing process, during the two years I spent writing this book. Thanks for understanding and dedicating your precious time to help during the process of writing of this book. I would specially like to appreciate the contribution my lovely wife, I am very thankful for your patience, support and encouragement when I needed them most. You’re great! A lot of thanks to Alexandra LindstrÜm, who read the first script and gave me her view on the book. Her contributions and suggestions helped a lot! Thanks for the tremendous work! I am also very thankful to Senait Habtemariam, who read the final script and gave me her general point of view on the content of the book A lot of thanks to Perry Rose, who has done a meticulous work and spent a lot of time to edit and proof read the book to enhance its readability. This book will never be published without your work. I am very grateful. Finally, I would like to say a big thank you to my best friend, Bes Rakthai, for his contribution to the cover design of this book. I really appreciate your efforts. I love you all. Bless you
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Chapter 1
Early in the morning, there was little darkness in the village of Dinki, which was located a few kilometers north of Addis Ababa, the Ethiopian capital. The village sits on top of the hill. The only light that shines in the village comes from the half-moon in the sky. As soon as the sun begins to shine in the morning, the first thing anyone would see was a church, St. Selassie Church which was built on top of the mountain and has a white background color and also painted with green, yellow and red bands around the building. Regardless of the location one stands, one could see the church because of its location on the top of the mountain. For the villagers, the church was a symbol of community where everyone belongs together and felt at home. The year was 2008, and Saron had just turned sixteen. She lived almost her entire life with her father. She has no memory of her mother who died when she was a child. To grow up only with her father made her to be a self-rule girl. Her father's encouragement and advice may have helped her to be strong and mange herself with most things. Early in this morning, Saron rose up gently from the bed and looked around the room. She took few steps and suddenly she stopped. Whenever she woke up, she was very careful not to collide 7
with the large pillar which stood next to her bed. The house is supported by five pillars, four in the corner and the fifth in the middle. She did collide with the fifth pillar so many times when she was little, but the older she grew, the more she became aware of it. Sometimes, whenever she was sitting in her bed and looks at the fifth pillar in the middle, she always imagined how effective the fifth pillar was in supporting the building. Without it, the house would collapse. Sometimes, she compares the fifth pillar in the middle with her father. He is the safety that holds the family together. What would happen without him? She wondered, while looked at the fifth pillar. She walked by the fifth pillar and the first thing she did was to wash her face and then dry it with a cloth that hung on the wall. On the wall, she also has a shelf which she uses to place her important tools. The three important tools that she has on the shelf are a comb, face oil and half a broken mirror; a broken mirror that she had found on the ground when she was on her way to school. She did not know who it belongs to. If someone had dropped it or thrown it away because it is broken, she wasn’t quite sure, but for her it is the most valuable tools. The first day she had found it, she was just ten years old. She remembered the first time she saw herself in the mirror. She could not stop smiling every time she looked in the mirror. She felt it was embarrassing to see herself which she is not used to. She was happy to see her short cut hair, big eyes, big lips and round-shaped face. It was then that she could see almost 8
the whole of her face in the broken mirror. But now that she is older, she could only see half of her face, mostly, she has to move the mirror to the right and to the left to see all her face. Every morning, her first routine was to prepare a lunch box for her father, whose name is Alazar. He was tall and had a width axis. His hard work by farming had shaped him with a well-built body. He was forty-five, his body build was proportionate with his age, but the appearance did not match his age. He looked much older. It could be a combination of morning chill and hard work. His lunch box which she used to prepare every morning was very simple. It consists of a traditional bread, Injera and vegetable stew. In the thin bread, she puts a vegetable stew and then she rolls it and put it in a plastic box. Then she wraps the plastic box with a cloth which has canvas, together with rose. This part is the most important part of her mission. His mother bought it sometimes ago in the market. Before Grandma passed away, she gave him the cloth. He was a bit surprised as to why he got the cloth. He could not question her because when she gave him, she was sick and tired. She looked at him, and understood what he was wondering. "My son, to see life is like looking at a rose. Two people can see a rose, yet they can experience two totally different experiences. One can see the rose and experience a beauty and the other can see only the thorns and experience suffering. “
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He liked it a lot, the cloth with a canvas together with rose. He wanted his lunch to be wrapped in it; every time he ate lunch and opened it, the first thing he saw was the rose. Every time he saw the rose, he heard his mother's voice; the same meaning and the same voice. The life of the family, Alazar does not differ much from any other family in the village. All lived much the same way. Men are involved agriculture; boys either help their father or go to school, or both. Women and girls engage in household works and very few girls go to school. Her father believed that she was one of the few girls who should go to school. Most girls helped at home. It’s very common that many parents simply send their boys to school and not the girls. Their explanation was sooner or later, the girls will still get married, then it makes no sense to send girls to school, but her father decided that she would go to school and learn as much as boys. To prevent that, she would not be treated as a girl on the feminine personality of her hair, which her father had decided to cut short so that she would look like other boys, a girl who is shorthaired. The teacher thought it was strange for a girl to look like a boy, but they knew it was for a purpose. The most important thing was that his daughter went to school and got as much education as boys
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Saron and Alazar had shared their duties. Saron cooks after school and her father brings water, firewood and everything needed for cooking. Saron likes to go to school a lot. Her dream was to become a teacher. Her desire was that many girls in her village go to school. Her other dream was that she wanted to make sure her father moved to Addis Ababa and she wanted to get him a dignified life. Addis Ababa was the city where she wants to study teaching profession. But for Alazar, it was a long way to make it happen, for his girl to achieve her dream. He knew that he must protect her and encourage her so she would succeed in life. He took it as his main mission in life. He also had it included in his routine, how he would raise her to achieve her dream. Every night as they sat in front of the fire, she reads the same book. It was what he wanted her to read for him, a book about the Empress Taitu. An empress who lived at the end of the 19th century to the early 20th century, an empress who was very famous for her wisdom and deep involvement in the battle of Adowa (a city in northern Ethiopia). Ethiopia was brought to the world's attention in 1896 when an African country without industry of weapons and with mostly barefoot soldiers, defeated Italy, a modern European country, at the battle of Adowa. Behind the success of the war is the heroine, Taitu. Battle of Adowa was a global historical event. The presence of Taitu in the middle of the army lifted their morale and further 11
motivated them to die for the sovereignty of the nation and for freedom. It was a fight that ended colonial aggression of Europeans in Africa. It was a fight that taught unforgettable lessons to Europeans. She made sure she also collected 10 – 12 000 women and organized them to help the troops. Some collected buckets of water to carry for men in battle. Others remained in the camp to take care of the wounded. In this victory of Adowa, women had a gigantic role. The heroine, Taitu was the architect in the battle with her wise, courageous and patriotic leadership, together with her husband, Emperor Menelik. By reading the book every night, Alazar desired that the heroine, Taitu would be his daughter’s role model. Besides that, Alazar told her with his own advice what tools she should use to get by in life. He repeated some of the important tools every night. "My beloved Saron... humans’ greatest enemy is fear and the opposite of fear is love. Everything you do will always come out from love. You should never be afraid of anyone or anything. The first step that you show to the world is that you are full of confidence. We humans are very quick to judge other people without even knowing who the person is. We are terrible at asking questions first, but we are always quick to point the finger at someone else. When you go, always stretch up your back and look up to. When people talk, look at them straight in the eyes. If there is anything you don't understand or unsure of about what someone says, you 12
should always ask at once. If you get enough response, it is okay, if you don't get a response, it is also okay. The most important thing is that you've asked and that you will not regret afterwards that you didn’t ask. If you're going to say "No," say it and if you are going to say "Yes," say it too. You should always do your best as much as you can cope. You should never judge yourself; whether you have failed or not done enough, and you should never judge others, but you should always try to understand yourself and others." Saron was one of those few girls who attended school and a girl who is forever confident and argues against adults, in particular against teachers, that she had become a problem for many teachers. She dared to ask questions that no one else did. She said "no" when it was expected that she would say "Yes" or vice versa. She looked straight into the eyes of a teacher when he talked to her. All these behaviors had been regarded by the teacher as disrespectful. So many times, her father was called by school management, but her father always defended her that she was right. "Children have the right to ask questions. Children have the right to speak to an adult if he or she is doing wrong. The saying that "An adult is always right" is just a myth. All people make mistakes, regardless of being adults or children." Alazar always tell them. It wasn't just Saron who was unpopular at school, but also her father.
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Saron had not only become matured in her age, but also in her body, which men in the village began to put their attention to. She had a short cut hair as a boy, but this did not prevent them from focusing their attention on her. Men could not resist seeing her big eyes, lips and well-shaped body, and they started to mention their interests to her father. Her father was not surprised by all the interests, which had started to stream in. He had anticipated this. Every Sunday, people gathered in the Church to listen to the word of God. It was almost like an obligation to go to church. There is no excuse not to be there. Everybody watched each other to know those present and those who are not. This systematic coverage had the priest created in order to have full control on the inhabitants of the village. The village Dinki had 200 inhabitants and almost everybody knew each other. One particular person who knew almost everyone was indubitably the priest. He felt like a supervisor over the village and above all as a guide to the whole village. Sometimes when he stood outside the church and looked down on the village, he could feel the power as a bubble around him. He feels powerful, as powerful as a king or president. He liked this powerful feeling. There were no rules on where to sit in the Church, but always ended that men sat next to each other, and women and girls did the same; they sat on the same side, but except Saron who sat next to her father. She held his hand when she was in the church. This gave her safety to sit next to the one who loved her very much. The 14
men, the women and the girls who saw Saron did not understand why she sat next to her father in the middle on the men's side. No one thought that it was okay, even when there is no regulation that one must sit in a particular place. Saron often noticed the evil glances she got from women when she came in to the church or when she went out of the church, but regardless of their evil glances, she refused to sit in any other place than beside her father. She did not care what others think. As long as what you do or say will not affect someone else, then you have the right to do or say it. It's called self-freedom. Her father used to say. After the Church, usually the priest used to be invited for lunch with someone, but today, he and other men went to visit The Alazar's without their prior knowledge. Alazar was surprised at the unexpected visit of a number of people. When Alazar saw that there was a priest, a father and a son, he had no difficulty in putting the puzzle together. He knew that this was about Saron. The first person who stepped into the house was the priest. As soon as he stepped in, he took out from his pocket, a ten-centimeter long silver cross and directed the cross against different angle to bless the home. Then the other guests stepped in as well and sat. Saron sat next to her father and saw the intense look on the faces of the new visitors. The priest was a tall and handsome man in his fifties. He wore a black round hat, white clothes with black coat.
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The major things which made him more elegant were his long white beard and white teeth. Now his eyes directed to Alazar. "Ato (Mr) Alazar, we are sorry that we had to come to your house without informing you of an unexpected visit. The major reason is that we do not want to wait because this matter is very urgent." The priest now began to direct his eyes against Saron. “Everyone sees that the girl has become mature and she's ready to build a family, which is the will of God, that when she is ready, she will follow the will of God ... and that is to give a child. I am sure that many have already expressed their interest in her, but I think as a priest who knows everyone better than anyone else in our society; I know who is good for her.� He turns to the right and pointed to a young man of about thirtyfive years. "It's this man. He is a good person and I know the family well." The thirty-five year old man who has a rectangular formed face, bald and his incisors had gaps between each other, began to look and smile to Saron. Saron did not like his smile Are you kidding? You...my God...Why are you smiling at me? You fool! You don`t even know me...do you think I am a sheep or a 16