my name is cecil gershwin palmer and i am the voice of night vale’s community radio station. i am neither tall nor short, neither thin nor fat. i am made to be a radio host. ever since i was a child, i have practiced to have this job. there is, in fact, a tape from when i recorded a practice show back when i was fifteen. i have a brother and a mother and a desert bluffs double named kevin, who hosts desert bluff’s terrible radio show. ugh, desert bluffs. almost as bad as steve carlsberg. gosh, listeners (readers?) i really do hate steve carlsberg. that huge jerk. Ugh. but anyway, i have a history with the reeducation standards of the sheriff’s secret police. i have been reeducated many times, even though i think i’m a good night vale citizen. i am wholly and completely in love with perfect carlos, a scientist that came to night vale a little over a year ago to study us citizens of night vale. Carlos has perfect hair. curses telly the barber for once cutting it. carlos is almost entirely perfect, though he sometimes chews a little louder than appreciated. perfect carlos also likes to mow his lawn on lazy days. i also like to report on the weather during my radio shows. night vale weather is always the same: hot and hot and hot again, so instead of really reporting on it, we at the night vale community radio station just play fun music for a few minutes. at the night vale community radio station, we have many interns. rest in peace their souls. i don’t know why, but our interns never stay for a long time. there was dana, but she’s still in the dog park with the hooded figures. also! there’s a cat in the night vale community radio station men’s bathroom named Khoshekh. he likes to float a few feet above the gound, and his growl is the cutest thing i’ve ever heard, besides carlos’s perfect voice, of course. Glow Cloud Issue nine
the voice 3