Friday, October 23, 2009

Friday, October 23, 2009

The Record Volume 40, Issue 7

The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory School since 1960

The Love Den: Billy Brohan’s Fall Dance Preview William Brohan PhD in Love

I’m sure you all are well aware that the Fall (not Homecoming) dance is this weekend. In these times of economic hardship, these times of brutal war, these times of the dying art of being a man, brokind must refuse to give in to the ludicrous temptations of submissive loneliness. We must stare Satan in the eye and reject the pressures of solitude and spread love and affection across the globe. So today, I, Billy Brohan, ask you this: how can you spread love?

I’m going to have to answer my question with another question: do you have a lady friend in your life? If your answer is “no,” “sort of,” or “define ‘lady friend’…” then you are in dire need of help. The art of being a man is synonymous with the art of wooing the ladies. If you don’t have a lady friend, and do not want one, I suggest you stop reading. Just taking in these following sentences may lead to an uncanny ability to flatter girls, and you may be unable to control the aftermath.

First and foremost, assuming you have a date, you must give her your attention. This may be tough, especially for most of us who have three dates, but proper consideration towards your date (i.e. the basics: holding the door, paying for her meal, offering a slow dance) can go a long way. In no way should you come off as clingy (contrary to popular belief, it is allowable for her to leave your sight at some point during the night), but show her (or them) the

attention that she (or they) deserve. A four-way slow dance might end up being awkward, so in a perfect world STUCO will play a minimum of three slow dance songs. During the rest of the songs, let loose. Take the jacket off, loosen the tie, maybe even unbutton the top button when Mr. Finan isn’t looking. Not everyone can dance well, but very few people will judge you for that. Unless you are absolutely 100% certain you can dance, do not, by any means, overdo it. If you take anything from this article, it should be this last sentence. Just don’t dance like an idiot.

Moonwalking: acceptable. Dorky robot: acceptable. Hardcore raving: extremely acceptable. The worm: never, under any circumstances, acceptable.

This dance is the perfect venue for a brewing romance. A sweaty gym filled with dancing high school students and strobe lights is about the equivalent of a barefoot walk on the beach in romantic aspects. Keep in mind that while you might know most of the people at the dance, your date might not be in the same boat. Don’t be the guy leading the Conga Line when your date is unfamiliar with anyone else at the dance. If Party in the USA and Every Time We Touch don’t help you kick back a bit, you may be a lost cause.

Overall, just be your fun self.

Don’t try too hard, your date will know you’re not being sincere. The dance will obviously be the high point of your night (i.e. T.A.T.U., a guilty pleasure for all of us…), but read up from my friend Benny Broski for tips about the dinner and after party. Stay classy, God bless, and good luck amigos.

The Love Den: Benny Broski’s Dinner & After-Party Guide Benedict Broski The Love Guru

Benedict here, with your homecoming dinner advice. Your dinner plans should reflect both your personality and the type of date you’re taking. If you are taking a serious date, go to a nice restaurant, something like Kobe’s, Stir Crazy, or the like. If you are taking a less serious date or just taking someone as a friend, you need not go somewhere as expensive, although Taco Bell or McDonald’s definitely don’t qualify. I would suggest Gashouse Grill or Applebee’s. My only true dinner advice is make sure you practice catching things in your mouth because if you go to Kobe’s they throw shrimp at you and no one wants to embarrass themselves in front of their date.

As for party plans for after the dance, small parties are better than one huge party. Small parties are much easier to control and they allow for more intimate gatherings. If you are hosting a party, there are certain party necessities that you must have: Doritos, punch, and cocktail wieners. These things allow for a feeling of classiness to permeate the party and let the good times roll.

Remember, have fun and be safe.

Editorials

Friday, October 23, 2009 Volume 40, Issue 7

The Record - The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory School

The Record Staff Editor in Chief:

Patrick R. Mulvihill, ’10

Arbitrarily Judgementalitastic: The Five Most Repetitious things of all time.

Layout Editor:

Chad E. Huber, ’10

Content Editor:

Editorial Writer

Sean J. Lamb, ’10

Faculty Moderator:

Alexander Todorov, ‘10

Mrs. Barbara K. Sams

In this issue...

Patrick Mulvihill, ’10

Mike Haueisen, ‘10

Chad Huber, ‘10

Alex Todorov, ’10

Quinn Underriner, ’10

Andrew Cusumano, ’10

Kevin Hess, ’11

David Taiclet, ’11

Peter Jochens, ’11

Sam Sagartz, ’11

Jon Gower, ’11

Alec Atkinson, ’12

Brendan Thomas, ’12

You know the feeling, the sheer helplessness, the inability to conceive any new ideas, the sentiment that the pixel gods of Microsoft Word are mocking you. This affliction is the subject of this week's judgment, the breaker of priory students, the pawn of the procrastination gods, the almighty writers block.

1: It Strikes at the Worst Possible TimeSomehow writer's block seems to unfailingly descend in your hour of greatest grief. We all know the feeling, it's 8:25, the article is due in five minutes, and you just can't think of anything else to fill your 500 word quota. I am

What Grinds My Gears Cliche Sarcastic Movie Characters

The Record Disclaimer The Record is the official student publication of Saint Louis Priory School in St. Louis, Missouri. It is produced by student editors/staff members. Its purpose is threefold: to inform students of events in the community; to encourage discussion of local, national, and international issues; and to serve as a training ground for budding journalists, photographers, and graphic designers. The Record accepts contributions from all members of the Priory community, including students, faculty, and alumni.

The Record will not publish content considered legally unprotected speech, including but not limited to: libel, copyright infringement, unwarranted invasion of privacy, or material disruption of the educational process. Student editors apply professional standards to the production of the newspaper and are solely responsible for all content, both explicit and implicit.

Letters to the Editors are always appreciated. Feedback not intended for publication is also welcome.

quite certain that writer's block is possibly the most intelligent thing besides God, it can predict the future to such an incredible degree that it always arrives when your clock is on the rain slick precipice between “on time”, and “out of time.”

2: It Comes With Internet Access- Writer's block has one of the most accurate detector of e-net access there is, as it somehow strikes whenever the potential for distraction is the greatest. You start off with a paper on mysticism and evil and somehow you awake hours later with the browser displaying North Korean propaganda, and the police on the way.

It's insane!

3: It Is Self Aware- Writer's block is the greatest threat to human life on this planet.

We are kidding (continued on back page)

Peter Griffin

with the help of Mike Haueisen, ‘10

You know what grinds my gears? The sarcastic lady role in so many movies today. I hate the sarcastic lady. She is in 90% of family comedies, and she has seen some troubled times. Now she can see any other situation in a humorous manner! Usually this lady is overweight, and has a real sassy voice, but really she can come in other shapes and sizes as well. For example, Wanda Sykes' role in the movie "Evan Almighty." She is skinny, but boy is her sarcasm excessively heavy. She probably has around 25 lines in the movie, not a very pivotal role. Of those 25 lines however, 24 of them are sarcastic, "I’ve seen it all" comments.

Take for example when Evan comes in to an important meeting of government officials, and God has burdened him to appear like Noah so he has a ragingly awesome beard. This is a terrible situation, Evan will appear like an idiot to the whole town and look like a poor leader and could get fired for it, therefore losing Rita's (Wanda Sykes) job as well. What does sarcastic classic Rita have to say? "Have you been

shootin' up Rogaine?" "Why do you sound like Evan but look like a Bee Gee?" "Were you attacked by a werewolf”? If you were going for that rugged look, I think over-shot it." Thanks Rita, you really lightened the situation with your hilarious remarks, because now we can all laugh at the situation since we know you've seen so much worse.

If I were Evan, I would slap Rita and tell her what a terrible job she is doing as my secretary, and as the comedic relief. I mean, how selfish of someone to take a terrible situation and only be able to make a joke about it for their own humor. It's sick, that's what it is. Someone will approach Miss Sarcasm and be like "Please Miss, I'm being ripped apart by lions could you call someone?" and she would say something like "An' I thought my husband was pathetic when he begged me for more money!" Then she folds her arms triumphantly and looks at the camera and we are all supposed to go "WOO WEE! How great is this!?” This sadistic lady would rather make a joke about this man being ripped to shreds than help him, its an unspeakable act, and it's contaminating our youth.

T h e (continued on back page)

Friday, October 23, 2009 Volume 40, Issue 7

STUCO Fan Bus to JFK For Football Game

The Weekly Update The Record - The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory School

Weekly Lunches

Fan Bus Details and Schedule Final Bell 4:30pm Gym Activities 4:30-6:30pm pizza and drinks served

Grilled Cheese Monday, 10/26

Tuesday, 10/27 Slow Cooked Beef Brisket

Kickoff @ JFK 7:00pm

Chili Cheese Dogs

Fall Dance this Saturday

Thursday, 10/29

7:30-10:00pm Saturday Night in the Multipurpose Gym We look forward to your attendance, STUCO

Letter from the Editors Dear students, faculty, and parents,

We are still looking for writers for the Record. While we obviously offer articles on sports, school news, and entertainment, we are still looking for new topics and opinions writers.

We would especially like to focus on current events and opinions articles. As you may have noticed, we have introduced an “opposing views” column. Aside from this, we are willing to publish an piece of writing the school may be interested in reading. It is our goal to represent the entire student body, faculty, and Priory community, and we need your help in achieving this. Feel free to approach any of the editors or email us at therecord@priory.org. We look forward to your input in how we can improve out publication and your interest in writing.

Sincerely, The Record Staff

Friday, 10/23/2009 •4:00pm ABC League Meet @

Jefferson Barracks •4:30-6:30pm, JS Activities and

food in gym, Fan Bus •7:00pm,V Football @ JFK

Mini Corn Dogs

Boarding bus 6:30pm noise makers provided

To whom it may concern, as there has been much dispute over the exact times, the Fall Dance is:

Friday, 10/23

Weekly Calendar

Wednesday, 10/28

Scechwan Meatballs Friday, 10/30 Cheese Lasagna

Saturday, 10/24/2009 7:30-10:00pm High School Fall Dance

Monday, 10/26/2009 •4:00pm,V Soccer @ Prin •4:00pm, JV Soccer v. Prin •4:00pm, JV Football @ Ritter

Sports Scores 10/15-10/20

Tuesday, 10/27/2009 Varsity Soccer 2-0, Win v. DuBourg, 10/15 4-0, Lose v. Westminster, 10/19 1-0, Win @ Clayton, 10/20 Varsity Cross Country

Wednesday, 10/28/2009

5th place, Borgia Invitational, 10/17 JV Cross Country 3rd place, Borgia Invitational, 10/17 Varsity Football 48-17, Lose @ Herculaneum, 10/16 JV Football 30-14, Win v. Herculaneum, 10/12 C Team Football 55-6, Lose v. Confluence Academy, 10/9

Thursday, 10/29/2009

Sports The Record - The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory School

Cross Country Nabs 5th at Borgia Chad Huber, ’10 Layout Editor

The Cross Country team ran their first race in two weeks this past weekend at a sloppy Borgia course. The continuous on-slaught of rain the week before made for awful conditions throughout the race, which were prominently displayed in the times that were at least a minute behind usual times. The competition was excellent however, as SLUH, Ladue, Lutheran South, and MICDS showed up in full force. Senior Captain Jon Van Breusegen ran ahead for the Rebels and placed a medal ranking 23rd place followed by Junior Niall Caperon at 33rd. Although the Rebels had a decent showing, they came in 5th place at the meet behind first place team and district rival Ladue, Jefferson City, Helias, and by just a few points, Potosi. The Rebels finished just ahead of their league rival Lutheran South, a great boost going into tonight’s League race. The Rebels have been training hard all year, especially for the past two weeks, utilizing the two weeks off as a chance to squeeze some extra speed and hill workouts into the mix. After tonight’s League race, the Rebels will have no time to sit on their laurels as Districts is the following week where they plan to be in the top two, which would qualify them for state.

Football Loses Tough Game at Herculaneum Andrew Cusumano, ’10 Sports Writer

On a cold and wet Friday night the priory rebels opened district play against the tough Herculaneum black cats. The game started off at a high tempo with

Herculaneum scoring on their first offensive play, but with a missed extra point only put them up 6-0. A couple drives later, the rebels answered back with a running touchdown from senior running back, Craig Boyce that put the rebels on top, 7-6. Late in the second quarter the black cats scored and completed a successful two-point conversion to put them up 14-7. The second half was not what the rebels had hoped for. The rebel’s defense had a lot trouble stopping Herky’s bone running formation. This formation caused a lot of confusion that lead to the black cats scoring three touchdowns in the second half. The rebel’s offense in the second half was much like our offense in the first half. We only scored once on a 6yard touchdown run by QB Matt Jones.

The final scored of the game ended up being 33-13, Herculaneum. The rebels’ playoff hopes are still not out of reach.

We play the JFK Celts at their place tonight at 7 p.m. We would love for everyone to come out and join the fan bus to cheer on the rebels.

Soccer 2-1 on the Week Kevin Hess, ’11 Sports Writer

Priory faced off against DuBourg last Thursday. The Rebels came in hungry for a win and played a great first half, fully deserving their 1-0 lead which came on a rocket shot by junior Brendan Kelly. DuBourg kept fighting hard, but the Rebels, despite suffering from injuries to several key players, held them scoreless. In the final minutes, sophomore Andrew Rhodes tacked on an insurance goal, giving Priory the 2-0 win.

The Rebels played a very talented Westminster team on Monday at home. The Rebels fought hard and held the Wildcats to 1 goal in the first half. However, the Wildcats came out strong in the second half, eventually defeating the Rebels 4-0.

Friday, October 23, 2009 Volume 40, Issue 7 Priory had a huge game Tuesday facing off against Clayton. The game was scoreless at half, with a slight advantage to the Rebels. In the second half, sophomore Kyle Martin worked nearly flawlessly with fellow defenders Dan Croghan and Andy Kopfensteiner to keep the Greyhounds shut out.

Meanwhile, on the fast break, junior Jack Wegmann played an incredible through-ball to Andrew Rhodes, seemingly coming out of no where, who smashed a left-footed shot into the bottom corner of the net. This was all the cushion the Rebels needed as they defeated Clayton 1-0.

JV Football Defeats Blackcats 30-14 David Taiclet, ’11 Sports Writer

The Rebels JV squad took on the Herculaneum Blackcats JV squad on Monday. We struck first scoring on a 5 yard run by Nate Watson. Later in the second half David Taiclet hooked up with Nick Thompson to go ahead by two scores. With 5 seconds to go in the first half, Coach Hamm called on Tony Cribbin to kick a 19 yard field goal, which split the uprights. The score at the half was Priory 17, Herculaneum 7.

Early in the second half David Taiclet and Nick Thompson hooked up again.

This play was made by Nick Thompson who juked and outran the whole Blackcat team scoring his second touchdown of the game. In the fourth quarter Adam Still crossed the goal line thanks to Jack Taiclet getting to one inch line. This touchdown sealed the win for the Rebels. The defense held strong all throughout the game only giving up touchdowns on two big plays.

Andy Schwartz snatched his second interception of the year. The Rebels won 30-14. This pushes our record to 5-3.

Entertainment

Friday, October 23, 2009 Volume 40, Issue 7

The Record - The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory School

Ryan McGinley’s Moonmilk Review Quinn Underriner, ‘10 Entertainment Editor

Ryan McGinley, a young bohemian photographer based in New York, had a new solo exhibition opening this summer in Alison Jacques Gallery in London called Moonmilk that features 24 new color prints. His previous work has celebrated youth in its most pure form: uninhibited and free. As is his custom, McGinley took these shots over the course of a summer road trip with fellow artists who are seemingly perpetually nude (a habit that has caused him and his fellow travelers to be

arrested and harassed on more than one occasion, most often by small town cops). The photos show a refreshingly sincere and unironic joy in the world around them. This current series focuses on caves, many previously unexplored. He makes full use of his willing friends but here they are placed in the womb of the earth and bathed in ethereal light which sheds a breath-taking contrast upon the otherwise earthy tones. We see both the height of human and geographically beauty displayed within a single frame, and we are invited to examine the connection between man and nature on its most base level. We see both our interconnectedness with the earth and yet the humbly trivial place we hold in it.

NHL10 Review Alec Atkinson, ’12 Entertainment Writer

As many people know the new NHL 10 was finally released a few weeks ago. Me, like all of you was stuck with the question in my head, what is so much better about NHL10 than NHL09.

Well, not only does it have all the features of 09 it has many new features as well that make it worth getting.

Some of the features include “Battle For The Cup” mode which allows you to go through the intensity of the NHL playoffs, with your favorite NHL team, right in your very own home. The next feature is battle on the boards, which allows you to pin your opponent against the boards and fight for the puck, which makes for a more interesting and realistic gaming

experience. Another incredible feature is the new fighting, instead of the basic punching, and boring fighting in previous years, NHL10 allows you to grab, dodge, jab, and power punch all out of the perspective of the players mask. Last but not least is the post whistle action, which is probably the greatest edition to the game. It allows you to retaliate, start fights, and draw penalties after the whistle. This makes the game a lot more fun, especially for the people who love playing, just so they can fight and brutalize their opponents (which is just about everyone). Not only do these new features make the game a lot more fun and interesting than NHL09, but it’s also more realistic, so we can feel the intensity of NHL hockey. I give it 4/5 stars.

iTunes Top 10 1. 3

Britney Spears 2. Party in the U.S.A.

Miley Cyrus 3. Fireflies

Owl City 4. Watcha Say

Jason DeRulo 5. Who Says

John Mayer 6. Down

Jay Sean 4. Meet Me Halfway

Black Eyed Peas 8. Replay

Iyaz 9. Paparazzi

Lady GaGa 10. I Gotta Feeling

Black Eyed Peas

Wilco Top 10 1. Via Chicago 2. Thanks I Get 3. Impossible Germany 4. Poor Places 5. Too Far Apart 6. I am Trying to Break Your

Heart

7. Airline to Heaven 8. I’m the Man that Loves

You

9. Wilco (the Song) 10. Forget the Flowers - Quinn Underriner and Colin Barry, ’10 Contact the editors if you want to provide a Top 10 Playlist of your own for the band or artist of your choice and it could appear in The Record Weekly in the future...

Puzzles

Friday, October 23, 2009 Volume 40, Issue 7

The Record - The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory School

Crossword Puzzle ACROSS 1. Mountain pool 5. Exchange 9. Showers 14. Chocolate cookie 15. Sheet of glass 16. Endow 17. Tidy 18. Chief Norse god 19. Robbed 20. Accumulation 22. Blabs 23. Not now 24. A synthetic fabric 26. Muzzle 29. Soothsayer 33. Write music 38. Take into confinement 39. Great Salt Lake state 40. Hang loosely 42. Matured 43. A figure of speech 45. Unnecessary 47. Relating to a directionless magnitude 48. Earned Run Average 49. Shenanigan

Sudokus

52. Breakfast bread 57. Incline 60. Longing for something past 63. Diacritical mark 64. Den 65. Musty 66. Ire 67. Beige 68. Sword 69. Desire strongly 70. You (archaic) 71. Current event information DOWN 1. Diatonic 2. Betel palm 3. Respond 4. French for "Our" 5. Blemish 6. Dry riverbed 7. Negatively charged particle 8. 1 cent coin 9. Fix up 10. Existing before birth 11. False god 12. Void 13. Views

Word Search

EASY

HARD

21. Therefore 25. Boarder 27. Declare with confidence 28. Colloid 30. Hamster's home 31. Untruths 32. Concludes 33. Swear 34. Auditory 35. Not Papa 36. Womanize 37. Horse of a dull brownish grey color 41. Born 44. Lamp 46. Information 50. Part of a body of water 51. Sports instructor 53. Bygone 54. Open-mouthed 55. Muscle 56. Carries off 57. Remain 58. Connects two points 59. Seaweed 61. Give rise to 62. Not false

WORDBANK angel

fight

peace

assistance

full

restful

blind

heart

salvation

burial

lament

savior

cancer

loss

senior

care

miss

sleep

church

mother

sorrow

cremation

nurse

treatment

death

parent

tumor

empty

passage

year

Cryptogram

- Demetri Martin For the answers to this week’s Cryptogram and Crossword Puzzle, check the student message board.

Friday, October 23, 2009 Volume 40, Issue 7

The Forum The Record - The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory School

Lanyards: Needless or Necessary?

Contrary to the opinions of my classmates Sam Sagartz Jon Gower and Tom Rich, Opinions Writer lanyards have p roven themselves to be not only extremely useful, but also just a joy to play with. Nothing satisfies boredom in a class or after school like swinging your keys around your finger on a lanyard. In addition, who wants to reach all the way into their pocket to grab a tiny ring of keys that perhaps has gotten stuck in one of those little mini pockets that some pants have. Lanyards are so easy to grab.

All you have to do is pull it gently and the keys come right out.

The swinging of the lanyards can provide endless amusement, or maybe just something to do if you’re really “handsy.”

Furthermore, if one decides to wear their lanyard in the traditional fashion, that is, around the neck, the keys will never be lost and the choking hazard is not as bad for most as it is for people such as Tom Rich who at times seem mentally deprived. The people who say that they never get bored in class and therefore do not need something to play with are hypocrites as I know them personally to be quite obnoxious in the majority of classes. To conclude, when one is making that ever so important decision of whether or not to get a lanyard, he must consider the countless positives and realize that a lanyard is always the right choice. Buyer beware, however, because there are many haters who will criticize you for this belief or even attempt to steal your lanyard.

You’re walking in the locker room, amidst the Jon Gower stench of egos and six Opinions Writer weeks of collective B.O., and you spot Peter Jochens walking to his car… lanyard dangling from his pocket. The ultimate sign of shame. This fad is the result of frat boys and NFL players who apparently lack the motor skills to pull keys out of their own pockets. This is rather unusual, given that a lanyard requires a general sense of perfection... Lanyards, despite common opinion, are dysfunctional. First of all, they were meant to be worn around the neck, not dangling from your pocket. Anyone walking down the street could grab that woven piece of shame from your pocket and steal your keys. If you do wear it around your neck, all the thief has to do is choke you to death and walk away with keys in hand. They are dangerous. To properly protect yourself, you need to have the speed of White Lightning combined with the strength of Ray Bayer. Some people say that lanyards are worth the risks because they are fun to play with. If you have nothing better to do than play with a lanyard during class, then you shouldn’t be paying for a private school. If nothing else, you can doodle or make animal noises to entertain yourself, rather than listening to the annoying clink of keys. Don’t give in to the pressure and follow the crowd. If you still insist on wearing a lanyard, buckle it around a belt, and prevent future financial and physical assaults.

European Football Club Profile: Chelsea FC Brandon Wehking, ’10 Sports Writer

Chelsea Football Club is an English Premier League team located in the south-west of London. The club was founded in 1905 when the team acquired their stadium, Stamford Bridge, where they still play today. In recent history Chelsea has been at the top of the league and one of the best teams in the world. Part of this success is due to Chelsea's owner, Roman Abromovic, who has brought in some world class players, but Chelsea was still a very good team before he purchased them. Chelsea has won the Premier League and the F.A. Cup twice in the past five years. The club is composed of

a star studded team. In goal is Petr Cech who has won best goalie of the year in Europe several times. At left and right back are Ashley Cole and Jose Bosingwa, two and consistent players. At the two center back positions are Portugese international Ricardo Carvalho and Chelsea captain John Terry. This backfield is considered one of the best and most physical in the world. The club's midfield is loaded with international talent including Michael Essien, German captain Michael Ballack, Frank Lampard, Portugese star Deco, Joe Cole, Yuri Zhrikov, Florent Malouda, and Nigerian international John Obi Mikel.

With this incredible midfield keeping

possession usually is not a problem.

Chelsea's forward line is one of the most feared in the world with the combination of two Golden Boot winner Nicolas Anelka and Didier Drogba, both of whom are capable of scoring at any time. These past 7 months have been absolutely amazing for Chelsea. They went from the end of March to the end of September without losing one game.

No other team did that. This streak includes games against Manchester United, Liverpool, Arsenal, Fulham, Barcelona, A.C. Milan, and Inter Milan. Overall Chelsea is the best team their is and you should look for them to win the treble this year.

The Record Weekly

Friday, October 23, 2009 Volume 40, Issue 7

The Official Student Publication of the Saint Louis Priory School

Arbitrarily Judgementalitastic

Grinds My Gears

(continued from page 2)

(continued from page 2)

ourselves when we think it is just our brains shutting down, we are embracing the delusion it wants us to believe. I have credible witnesses that have witnessed the true terror of writer's block at work, and I have seen the light.

It started with simple papers, but it has been growing, getting stronger by the second, soon it will strike. It is already at work even today, it plagues the congress, making sure that every bill takes ages to write, and is hopelessly off track. It will become bolder, the next thing we know, it will be holding up peace processes, delaying crucial treaties, prolonging wars. Once we have destroyed ourselves, writer's block will arise from the smoking ashes, reveling in its triumph.

4: It Causes You To Go Onto Ludicrous Tangents- All it takes is one slip up, one moment of weakness, one slight crack in our mental fortress, and writer's block flows in like a dark tidal wave.

Every new word becomes an epic struggle of wills to stay on topic, and in speaking of topic, is it just me or is hot topic really cheesy? Seriously folks, the first thing you see when you enter into one of their stores is goth stuff, but not the real deal, it's just the “I need attention” apparel people wear to seem cool, without actually committing to the drowning darkness that is this cruel world.

5: It Causes You To Give Up- There are days when writer's block wins the mental wrestling match, and it is on these dark days that priory students start to fall behind. They just can't take the exertion anymore, and they lose all hope of finishing what they were working on.

bottom line is this lady is so cliché in way too many movies. She isn’t funny, she’s just sick, so it's truly rough to have to endure when I see the sarcasm in an absurd amount of movies these days. Just take her out of the movie if need be, I won’t complain.

Quit using cliché sarcasm for cheap laughs, film directors and producers of America. My gears have been grinded, so I’m out, see you next week.

Editor in Chief: Patrick R. Mulvihill, ’10

Men’s Bowling Series: Bowling over the Competition Peter Jochens, ’11 Staff Writer

The Men’s Bowling Series launched it first match of the season last Friday between the Alley Cats and the Pinheads. The Pinheads, led by Adam ‘Crisco’ Still, won by over 30 pins. Crisco bowled a 131 to seal the match. Colin ‘Cool Breeze’ Linkul should be acknowledged for his effort for the Alley Cats bowling a 108. However Francis ‘Butch’ Cassidy, Crisco and the Pinheads proved to be too much for the Alley Cats. The Alley Cats consist of Cool Breeze, Tony ‘T Bones’ Cribbin, Big Pete Jochens and Colin ‘Turf toe’ Bruns.

Along with Crisco and Butch, the pinheads include Nathan ‘Single Digits’

Doodle in this space here...

Forshaw and Mac Darthy Grewe.

Andrew Erker competed in the 12 and under division, but he was presented no challenger and won by default. Saturday Night, the Alley Cats informally beat the Pinheads on a friendly pickup game, with Big Pete bowling a 105 and Crisco a 111. The League invites any challengers, both in the men’s and 12 and under division, to come to Sunset lanes (We were previously sponsored by Crestwood but backed out due to contract issues) on Watson before 5 pm to get the $2.25 per game deal, or if you do not want to compete, come cheer for the Alley Cats as they take on the Pinheads. Also, bring your little sisters and brothers because you need to be 12 or under to get bumpers and Andrew Erker’s 13th birthday is coming up.

THE RECORD Layout Editor: Chad E. Huber, ’10 Content Editor: Sean J. Lamb, ’10

Moderator: Barbara K. Sams