Volume XLIV - Issue 26

VOLUME XLIV ISSUE 26 APRIL 16, 2014

FIELD DAY MMXIV

THE

RECORD

V OLLE YBA L L

2

THE RECORD The 7 Types Of Volleyball Players VOLUME XLIV ISSUE 26 APRIL 16, 2014 Editor In Chief

Andrew Cammon ‘14

Layout Editor

Lucas McGartland ‘14

Content Editors

Michael Herman ‘14

William O’Brien ‘14

Eric Stange ‘14

Faculty Moderator

Ms. Layton

"" "

Contact

theprioryrecord@gmail.com

314.434.3690 ext. 221

"

By William O’Brien ’14 Content Editor

"

If you are in the know at Priory, I’m sure that you have heard of the Volleyball craze sweeping the student body. It is again that time of year when the Basketball courts are forgotten and the Vo l l e y b a l l c o u r t s r e i g n supreme. As you pick your five man crew to roll with till the death of your Volleyball lives, it is important that you can identify the different types of Volleyball player so that you can optimize your team. There are many different types, so this article may be a doozy in terms of length, but it is important that you are properly informed so I assure you it is all worth it.

"

The Record Disclaimer

The Record is the official student publication of Saint Louis Priory School in St. Louis, Missouri. It is produced by students/staff members. Its purpose is to inform students of events in the community; to encourage discussion of local, national, and international issues; and to serve as a training ground for budding journalists, photographers, and graphic designers. The Record accepts contributions from all members of the Priory community, including students, faculty, and alumni. The Record will not publish content considered legally unprotected speech, including but not limited to: libel, copyright infringement, unwarranted invasion of privacy, or material disruption of the educational process. Student editors apply professional standards to the production of the newspaper and are solely responsible for all content, both explicit and implicit. Letters to the Editors are always appreciated. Feedback not intended for publication is also welcome.

The “Specialist” type- This is the guy who claims that he is the best at a given area, but maybe his talent in the other areas is lacking. The most famous example is the serving expert. The specialist is almost always worthless, because his overall deficiencies are too great for his one area to make up for it. I don’t care if you hit one ace but then ruin ten other points.

"

The “Short guy who wants to play the front line” type- He may be 5’6, but he thinks he can bang with the big boys. So naturally you assume he must have some skill at this, otherwise he wouldn’t insist, nay demand, that he plays at the net.

Wrong. He never does. And even if he does he’s giving up to much height. That guy isn’t spiking one in the face of anyone over 6 foot.

"

The “Unproven tall guy” typeYou’re picking teams and you see that guy. He’s 7’3 so he should be the #1 pick no questions asked right? You have been fooled, just like NBA teams have been for decades. Skill number one in Volleyball is actually hitting the ball (no way!) so if this guy isn’t coordinated enough to do that, he’s useless. Sorry Hasheem Thabeet, you’re not making my volleyball team.

"

The “Guy who isn’t shirtless and barefoot” type- He does not love the game, so why do you want him? I don’t see that guy laying out for a dig, so really where’s his value? He probably doesn’t even lift anyway.

"

The “Do you guys mind if I record this game and send it to some college coaches for consideration” type- Also known as the Wa n D a t s o n type, this is the player who really puts the “I” in the “I’m not actually that good.”

Maybe you can have one of these guys on your team, but definitely not two.

They will compete against each other and throw off the whole dynamic, and probably will pass the ball twice the whole time.

"

The “Hype Man” typeYou’re down 14-2, but you just got a sweet spike.

This guy is going absolutely

Possible Field Day Themes

nuts like you’re Destinee Hooker (MY GIRL) and just won the Olympics. He’s celebrating like it’s 1999. I love this guy. Every team needs one of these guys. He’s great for team morale and will tell tales of your volleyball awesomeness for decades to come. I’d take a team of all Hype Guys over a team of all Hasheem Thabeets every time.

"

The “For some reason, Destinee Hooker watched your casual game of Volleyball and decided to join.” type- This is actually less rare than you think, as Destinee loves to play pickup Volleyball when she’s not destroying foreigners who challenge American pride. It goes without saying that she should be a top three pick in the draft (but like a deserved top three pick, not the “oh everybody else probably sucks too” pick like when the Wizards took Otto Porter third in the draft.) Put one Destinee Hooker, one Hype Man, and anyone else on the same team and you are going to witness Volleyball greatness.

On a quick side note, could some NBA team please sign Destinee to protect the rim for them in the playoffs? She may be a little undersized at center, but you can’t really tell me she would be worse than Hasheem Thabeet.

I’m looking at you, Oklahoma City Thunder.

You can’t convince me that Destinee would let other NBA players do this to her: So really, why hasn’t this happened?

TE N N I S

3

Read This Tennis Article Second!

By Andrew Cammon ’14 Editor-in-Chief

"

Read the bottom article first!

(You can never have too many tennis articles written by the same person.) Since the last tennis update, many things have befallen the spring version of cross country (though Will and Parker Stanislas Fergüsen are working to change that reputation). Over the senior retreat the entire lineup was thrown into chaos with the absence of Jarret Lowell, Jimmy Newell, Louis Garvin, and of course spirit club President William “Swaggy P” O’Brien.

However, with Alex Lowell leading at number one, the team was able to pull out a 7-0 victory over Lutheran North.

After the team was whole again, tennis pulled off one of the more remarkable wins in the last couple of years. Despite Jarret Lowell, our number 1, playing through a cold like a champ, the tennis team only lost two matches en route to a victory over Clayton. This is Priory’s first win over Clayton in tennis in over six years.

But on to more recent happenings. Yesterday was, today is, and tomorrow will be the Metro League Tournament.

Yesterday was the beginning of the singles tournament. The lineup was shaken up quite a bit because Louis “paper cut” Garvin and Jimmy Newell, our usual number two player, were both visiting a college, which should never take precedent over sports, ever.

Jarret Lowell played in the number one flight. He won his first match and lost to that traitor Michael Peters of Burroughs. Alex Lowell also won his first match. Alex was up in the first set against a very tough o p p o n e n t , M I C D S ’ Ty l e r Raclin, but Raclin pulled out the first set 7-5 and won the next set, securing the match.

Victor won his first match and lost to a Burroughs player, and Patrick “Milby” Milburn garnered a first round win but lost in the second round as well to Rohit, an MICDS freshman recruit player. I am sensing a pattern here. Agam, Will O’Brien, Aris and Tejas all won their first round matches, but

lost in the second round.

All in all, this was a very good showing for Priory tennis.

This is a very young team that was missing some of their Senior leadership. The team is certainly not at its peak. Tomorrow begins the doubles portion of the League Tournament.

Most of you do not have practice, so this is what you are going to do: Run as soon as the bell rings, not before, please.

Apply massive amounts of facepaint and adorn yourself with other Priory gear. Somehow get into a vehicle. Drive or direct said vehicle onto 40 West. Daanish: that means RIGHT. Exit the highway at the Maryville Exit. Turn left. Go straight. Find yourself at the Metro League Tournament.

Cheer on your fellow rebels, your brothers.

"

(Yes, this article ends in much the same way as my other one. Panic to fill space in the newspaper tends to negatively impact creatively. My apologies. Now go write an article for us. Please.)

Read This Tennis Article First!

By Andrew Cammon ’14 Editor-in-Chief

"

If you walk by a Priory tennis match this year you might hear something surprising: cheering.

Priory tennis was normally been characterized by silence that gives solitary confinement a run for its money, but not this year. Under the new tutorship of the legendary “Coach Bobby” the tennis matches are getting a little louder, under the threat of sprints.

This should not change the tennis team’s stellar sportsman-

ship reputation, rather, it should up the intensity of each player on Priory’s team. Just last week in fact, the tennis team beat Clayton for the first time in over four years. This, as confirmed by tennis team spirit club president Will O’Brien, was certainly the result of increased cheering and not improved player performance, a better and deeper team, or any of that nonsense.

Not only should cheering make the tennis team for successful, it should make the tennis matches much more excit-

ing to watch. Yes, tennis is quickly becoming the biggest fan drawer among the spring sports. The only sports that come close to being as fun to watch as tennis are Ultimate and Scholar Bowl. And c’mon track guys, just stop for a few minutes on your way to your cars. You might just see Roger Federer watching Jimmy’s match.

For any prospective fans: the process is easy. Start by glancing over at the tennis courts. Become intrigued. Walk approximately 30 years from

Marvel vs DC

the gym door to the natural, eco-friendly hill viewing area.

Sit down, stay standing, lounge in a hammock, your choice.

Hear a spirited “let’s go Rebels!” Watch as our opponents cower in fear, or at least mess up their serve because of the cheer’s coincidental timing (kidding). Start cheering. Become hooked. Blow off school and your sport to attend every Priory tennis match for the rest of the season.

"

4

PUZZLE S

  Sudokus: Easy, Medium, and Hard

Crossword Puzzle ACROSS

ACROSS

1. Iron or steel

6. Bend

10. Stigma

14. Sarcasm

15. Type of sword

16. Container weight

17. An orange-yellow dye

19. God of love

20. High regard

21. Ambition

22. Toward sunset

23. Malice

25. Fence "doors"

26. French Sudan

30. Not the borrower

32. Implement

35. Slender stem-like structure

39. Wealthy

40. Ring around the nipple

Priory Naps

Pirates vs Ninjas

41. Male ruler of an empire

43. Plumed

44. Spotted cat

46. Alluring

47. Mayhem

50. Chimes

53. Winglike

54. French for "Wine"

55. News

60. Alone

61. Extra

63. You (archaic)

64. Untidy one

65. Ancestors

66. Hearing organs

67. Apprentice

68. Delete

"

DOWN

1. Small amount

2. Historical periods

3. Legal wrong

4. Initial wager

5. Harps

6. Tasseled cap

7. Narcotic

8. Not strict

9. Consider

10. Flight attendant

11. A proofreader's symbol

12. Got up

13. Relaxes

18. Amplifier (abbrev.)

24. Sick

25. Style

26. Stubborn beast

27. "Smallest" particle

28. Jump

29. Improper

31. Beloved

33. A pinnacle of ice

34. False god

36. Learning method

37. Holly

38. Gentlewoman

42. Stiffly

43. Bamboozle

45. New World vulture

47. Urgency

48. Hello or goodbye

49. Heroism

51. Destroy the inside of

52. Steeple

54. Widespread

56. A swinging barrier

57. Dwarf buffalo

58. Makes lace

59. If not

62. Nigerian tribesman

SATIRE & TEC H

5

Ukraine: Breaking News

Internet Future Debated

By George Ahlering ’16 Staff Writer

By Chris Hammer ’14 Staff Writer

"

Before reading this information packed article, please disregard all misleading news stories and other articles on the crises in Ukraine. Russia announced Monday evening its plans to officially annex the remaining half of Ukraine, Turkey, and Romania, as well as Madagascar. This left much of the civilized, western world in shock and disbelief. In a press conference late Monday night, President Barack Obama answered thousands of questions from reporters from all media outlets. There were a few red flags leading up to this takeover; recently Putin reinstated a mandatory physical fitness program for citizens of Russia using money left over from the Winter Olympics.

This was, presumably, done in order to supply more able bodied men for war. Secondly, the most blatant act of preparation was on January 20th when Russia acquired and burned more than 5 million copies of every Flo-Rida song ever. The president was still in clear state of shock throughout the duration of the press conference, having only been briefed on the moves a few hours before. The president’s rhetoric was uncharacteristically shaky, presumably from astonishment. In order to be unbiased, we also reached out to Alaska governor and former Vice Presidential nominee Sarah Palin for comment.

She claims that she “accurately predicted this tragic outcome, but firmly believes the party responsible is not the Russians but in fact, it is the

Norwegians.”The Russians had been planning and preparing for this takeover for years in advance, dating back to the time of the Bush administration and the economic recession beginning in 2008. Rumor has it that the Russians have actually been rigging United States elections since 2003 when Bush was reelected to Al Gore’s dismay.

Since then, the Russians staged unrest around the world, using spies to instigate uprisings for no apparent reason. Beyond that, and arguably the boldest move by Putin was to shut down Hostess, hence bringing the Twinkie to an end for several years. Most recently, the R u s s i a n s claimed to have been behind the demonstrations in Kiev, Ukraine’s capital, and of the disappearance of Malaysia Flight 370. These series of announcements by the Russian government answered many questions, but left one unanswered: why?

Well one reason is that Turkey, Ukraine and Romania all have significant numbers of McDonald’s franchises. Rumor has it that Putin himself is a big fan of McDonalds and personally owns all 408 McDonalds in Russian territory. The single franchisee who owns the most separate McDonald’s restaurants owns 693 restaurants.

With Turkey having 193, Ukraine 73, and Romania having 62 McDonalds, Vladimir Putin could become the franchisee with ownership of the most McDonalds locations on earth. This explains everything, even life itself. (A surprising amount of this information is factual believe it or not)

"

"

For well over ten years the Internet has been monitored and “controlled” by the United States government.

Controlled is in quotation marks because the government has done a decent job of not over controlling the internet.

However Internet freedom is now under attack on two fronts.

Recently the White House announced its plans to give up oversight of ICANN, the Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers, a California based non-profit that essential regulates internet protocols and assigns domain names. Control will likely be given to an international governing body which will then determine protocol’s regarding how registration and individual countries can regulate the internet.

The change comes in the wake of criticism from the international community regarding the dangers of any individual country controlling the Internet. Who are the main countries voicing such opinions?

Russia and China are leading the charge. Russia, a country notorious for its crackdowns on free speech, and China, renowned for the Great Fire Wall and its continuous internet censorship. These countries haven't had a change of heart.

As the Internet currently stands there is no external censoring available to countries.

All censorship has to be done internally via control of the ISPs and firewalls which are susceptible to hackers and can be worked around. By putting internet regulations to an international votes the door is opened up enabling countries to better regulate the internet and free speech. It becomes possi-

Wolves vs Helicopters

ble for external shielding of the internet to occur completely blocking sources deemed dangerous by whoever the acting government is.

Had this occurred several years ago the Arab spring could have been very differently. Instead of an event in Tunisia sparking protest and rebellions across the regions, it becomes just another news story that the governments red flag and block all the news off. Protesters suddenly become unable to access their twitter accounts to organize rallies and spread their ideas that the government dictates to be too radical.

On the other front net neutrality has been defunct by several recent court rulings. Net neutrality was a set of rules preventing ISPs from distinguishing between different companies and different types of traffic. They had to charge the same price for every website. With the recent string of court rulings comes a new set of rules, or more specifically a lack of any. ISPs can now single companies like Netflix and Amazon and charge them premiums for their websites to be delivered with any speed and consistency. The three major ISPs in the US (Comcast, TimeWarner, and AT&T) already have huge amounts of control over the internet but this new power gives them the ability to pick winners and losers on the internet by simple slowing one company down because another company was willing to pay more.

The Internet is the most important tool right now for personal freedoms and the battle for it is being waged. Over the next few years the future of the Internet will be decided.

"

6

AC T UA L NE WS , REA LLY

Priory" Presents New International Program

By Señor O’Connell

"

Now presenting the plan for Saint Louis Priory School’s International Program. This Program has two parts: HOSTING STUDENTS FROM ABROAD & TRAVEL Part 1: Hosting students from abroad Hosting is a really generous and wonderful way to live out the Benedictine value of hospitality. Priory families have opened their homes to visitors for years. It is an enriching experience that can create life-long friendships.

One or two boys from Chile come to Priory every year. They are from schools operated by a Lay-Benedictine community called the Manquehue Movement which has a long-standing friendship with Saint Louis Abbey. The boys are selected to study at Priory based on their advanced English skills and overall academic achievement.

They enter in August and leave in early March. In those 7 months, they need a Priory family to host them or maybe even two or three families to share the hosting. The boy’s Chilean family contributes a monthly sum to the host family to help defray housing, transportation and other costs.

Priory has established a relationship with schools in China. We always hope to accept a few candidates from China every year. The Chinese boys must have very good English skills, a record of outstanding academic achievement and a real willingness to enter fully into both the host family’s life and Priory school life. They too need host families and, like their Chilean counterparts, their moms and dads also contribute a monthly sum to the host fami-

ly to defray housing, transportation and other costs.

It is told and retold that each Spring, ever since the last snake was driven from the Emerald Isle by St. Patrick, Priory has hosted a group of boys from Colaiste Ailigh allGaelic school in County Donnegal, Republic of Ireland.

They typically spend two or three weeks with us while their peers of the lassie variety stay with families from Villa. These boys are fully immersed in Priory’s day-to-day activities and learn about American culture through their contact with our students, faculty and especially from the families that host them.

October is a big month for all the Francophiles among us.

That’s when a group of boys and girls come to visit from La belle France. They come from Ste. Marie Beaucamps in Ligny, France (in the Lille area near the Belgian border). In the early summer, their American hosts are invited to return the visit and experience life in their school, community and families.

"

PLEASE CONSIDER HOSTING A STUDENT WHEN THE CALL GOES OUT, OR DON’T WAIT TO BE ASKED AND JUST CALL MR. O’CONNELL AND SAY “WE WANT TO BE PART OF THE ACTION LIKE ALL THE COOL FAMILIES!”

"

Part 2: Travel We work in partnership with Education First Tours* and with Priory faculty/staff/parent chaperones.

ANNOUNCING THE 2014-15 SUMMER TRIP TO ITALY AND GREECE This gives you 14 months to

plan, save, and then go For all young Classicists, History buffs, Adventurers and Dr. Johnson wannabees.

• The sooner we book, the cheaper the trip.

• An information meeting will be held THURSDAY, MAY 8 @ 5:45 PM IN THE HIGH SCHOOL (ROOM # TBA).

• Saint Louis Priory School may well authorize other student trips besides this one and you are free to participate in as many as you like.

• Day 1: Fly overnight to Italy • Day 2: Meet your tour guide at the airport • Day 3: Rome Take a guided tour of Vatican City & the Sistine Chapel Visit St. Peter’s Basilica, Time to explore on your own or

add (extra cost) an excursion to the Roman Catacombs • Day 4: Rome Take a guided tour of Rome Visit the Coliseum Visit the Roman Forum Take a self-guided walking tour of Rome: Trevi Fountain, Pantheon, Piazza Navona, Spanish Steps • Day 5: Capri • Sorrento region Travel by ferry to Capri Take a guided tour of Capri Enjoy an island cruise Travel to the Sorrento Region • Day 6: Pompeii • Brindisi • Night ferry Travel to Pompeii Take a guided tour of Pompeii Visit the Pompeii Roman Ruins Continue on to Brindisi Board a night ferry to Patras • Day 7: Patras • Delphi

Anchorman

Arrive in Patras Travel to Delphi • Day 8: Delphi • Athens Take a guided tour of Delphi With your expert local guide you will see Temple of Apollo and visit the Delphi Museum Travel to Athens Enjoy a free evening • Day 9: Athens Olympic Stadium Visit the Acropolis, Parthenon & Temple of Athena Visit the Acropolis Museum With your tour director you will see: Take a guided tour of Athens Plaka District Temple of Olympian Zeus • Day 10: Depart for home Take this stubby 8-seater, but ultra-safe jetliner back to the USA.

"

"

IF OUR FIRST CRACK AT THIS KIND OF THING GOES WELL, WE ARE THINKING AHEAD TO EXPANDING THE OPTIONS IN 2015-16 AND BEYOND…

Possible summer options for 2015-16 (26 months to plan, save, and then go) Germany and/or** Ecuador (Sightseeing and service work…hours will count!) Then possible summer options for 2016-17 (38 months to plan, save, and then go) AP Euro History Tour and/or** Peru (Sightseeing and service work…hours will count!) *For nearly 50 years Education First Tours has been helping teachers and students discover the world through culturally immersive educational travel – all at the guaranteed lowest prices. www.eftours.com **Depending on the number of boys willing to go.

S POR TS & MUSIC

7

" Golf Rebels Beat MICDS In Rainy Battle

Editor’s Picks

By Eric Stange ’14 Content Editor

1

"

For the informed fan, of which I am sure there are dozens (dozens!), this article does not include anything you have not heard. For those not in the know, the golf team is poised to make noise this spring on the links.

Returning leaders from last year’s squad include myself, Tom “Big Daddy Weave” Weaver, and Liam “Small Momma” Mardis. In addition, Patrick O’Brien realized his true talents rested in his spikes and has joined the team in his last year of eligibility, since he did not choose to red-shirt. Senior T.J. Neimann brings four years of experience to the table, and there are a few freshmen who bring light to the future of the program. These include Andrew Stange, John Forshaw, and Mark Ciapciak. There are

also a plethora of sophomores in addition to Weaver and Mardis that regularly round out the match squads with good scores. Among the main contributors are Andrew Piskulich, Jack Douthitt, and Cartan Sumner.

This Rebel squad benefits greatly with 3 very qualified coaches. Mr. Suarez brings loads of experience and course knowledge across the Saint Louis area. Mr. Parent also brings experience, which comes from his years at the helm of Saint Mary’s golf program.

Finally, Scott Horton is one of the top amateur players in the area, and is extremely helpful in the technical and mental sides of the game.

Even though about a third of our scheduled matches to this point have been rained out, we have been able to play five, posting a record of 4-1. Our lone loss is to CBC, which was

a very close showdown in the rain at Normandy. Meanwhile, our four wins have all been over Metro League opponents (Lutheran South, John Burroughs, MICDS, and Westminster). Most notable of these was our triumph over MICDS Monday at Saint Louis Country Club. A rainy battle at a tough course, we strung together strong scores across the board to pull off a six shot win.

The Metro League Tournament takes place on Easter Monday at Old Warson, and that is sure to be a thrilling affair. Once again, as always, fans are encouraged and welcomed.

See you on the terrace post round! And please, keep your shirt tucked it.

Addendum: If you don’t know how a golf match works, it’s 8 players to a team and the top six scores are taken for a composite score against the other team.

European Football Champion Predictions

By Alex Hill ‘15 Staff Writer

"

Real Madrid vs.

Bayern Munich This will undoubtedly be the closest matchup in any phase of the Champions League this season. Defending champions Bayern take on the offensive powerhouse Real Madrid in this semifinal matchup. As this is such a close matchup, home performances will be critical for both teams. Bayern’s Allianz Arena is no fortress, and it is here that Real and their Santiago Bernabeu hold an edge over Bayern. However, Bayern’s success is not totally reliant on one or two players, as we often see of Real Madrid and Cris-

tiano Ronaldo. While Real lead the tournament in goals, they also have a bad habit of conceding goals. Bayern’s defense is much more solid and their offense is more than capable of scoring goals. I believe that this clash will end in a 3-2 aggregate victory for Bayern Munich, though Real Madrid has the potential to pull the upset and advance to the final. Even so, Munich appears to be the favorite.

"

Chelsea vs. Atletico Madrid This result is difficult to predict, as Chelsea has a habit of pulling off miraculous performances under pressure (such as their performance against PSG in the quarterfinals). Atletico’s

offense is undoubtedly better than Chelsea’s, but their defense is slightly inferior. Victory for either side lays in the hands of their star players: Eden Hazard of Chelsea and Diego Costa of Atletico. One advantage Chelsea has is their stadium, Stamford Bridge.

Chelsea have never lost at the Bridge under Mourinho. Atletico’s Vicente Calderon is a fortress also, but not as impregnable as Stamford Bridge. I predict a 2-2 aggregate win for Atletico, with their advancement occurring due to one away goal. This prediction is fairly brave in my opinion, seeing as how Chelsea tends to pull off comebacks and clutch wins under pressure.

Rock, Paper, Scissors

Dangerous Big Data

2 Empire Shakira

3

In A World Like This Backstreet Boys

4 Remember the Name (Funkadelic) Fort Minor

5

Tonight Tonight Hot Chelle Rae

"

6

Strong London Grammar

7 Heartbreak Dream Betty Who

8

Can You Hear Me? Dan Croll

9 Tremors SOHN

10 Mercy OneRepublic

N E WS

8

Mt. Olympus Mud Pit: The Faithful

Calendar

By Andrew Cammon ’14 Editor-in-Chief

Wednesday, April 16

3:30PM V Golf vs. Westminster @ St. Albans

3:30PM V Tennis: Metro Tourney @ Westminster

"

Field Day. Forty degrees and raining. STUCO, up into the wee hours of the morning, planning, preparing, panicking.

Many people will remember the dunk contest between Dan Watson and Joe MacDonald. Many will remember build-your-own chariot races through the gym (thanks for enduring a few broken bones seventh grade charioteers).

The Seniors, however, will remember the mud pit. And this is partly a shame, because not many people other than the Seniors will remember the mud pit. This was the biggest mud pit in memory.

Nicknamed Mt. Olympus, (this is Priory after all) the mud pit featured a mound of dirt thousands of feet tall and a moat thousands (more like three or four) feet deep moat. There

was a even a bridge (never-before-done) that provided safe passage across said moat. Once on top of “Mt. Olympus” one could recline on a relief (Art History paid off!) chair or simply survey the Priory ground from a perspective never before experienced.

Now the actual day came to pass. The Seniors we're looking forward to showing off their great masterpiece to the school and flinging pieces of the masterpiece at underclassmen: you guys got off lucky. Instead, school was dismissed at 12:30.

The end? Not for most. Priory has instilled in the Senior intelligence and determination, and the Seniors were using one of those attributes when most of the class decided to experience the mud pit on field day, sun or no sun.

For the record, it was cold.

Freezing. Lather-yourself-inmud-to-keep-warm cold. But

the Seniors that did experience the mud pit on that day will always share and cherish that memory. The memory of mud in our ears. The memory of numb hands. The memory of a numb face, and numb ears, and numb arms, you get the picture (although the numb feet and legs did help ease the discomfort of the long walk to the showers).

Thanks to everyone who helped dig the mud pit, or rather to everyone to helped a little bit while Cole did most of the work. Thanks to everyone who, by choice or by force, joined in the the mud pit on field day. And thanks to the maintenance staff: we are really sorry, and you guys are miracle workers. Thanks to Fr. Linus to making an exception and leaving the pit open into the weekend so that the Seniors could experience the pit in the sun.

Scholar Bowl Team Wins Districts

By Charlie Rapp ’14

"

Last weekend, Priory Scholar Bowl began its march to the State championship. We played Districts on Saturday and won handily, facing off against and defeating Valley Park and Lutheran South.

The team played well under the everwatchful gaze of Coach Bussen, although the day was not truly complete as there was no opportunity for him to protest a question, whilst upending a desk and shouting “PROTEST” at the top of his lungs. Regardless, the team scored very well, with myself coming in first place, Dan Martin getting third, Urban Cornett fifth, and Ian Steiner sixth.

But now the

Priory Scholar Bowl team advances to sectionals, continuing its effort to retain its title of state champions (and coolest kids in the state, but that’s too long to fit on the trophy). Sectionals will be held at Priory on Wednesday April 30th and I’m expecting massive attendance.

But some of you will assuredly say “Captain Rapp, we would love to go and nothing would brighten our day more than watching our professional nerds trounce St. James High School in some exhilarating sectional play, but alas, woe is me, I must attend sports which will almost definitely cut into the time I could be viewing this spectacular game of minds.” To this I can console your grieving spirit

by telling you that the first game will not be played until 5:00, by which time most of you should be done with sports and leaving you with no good excuse to not attend. To which news, I am sure you will be filled with gladness, shout “Huzzah,” and then rush home to mark every calendar you have about the time and location of sectionals. It would be great if we could get some fans that go to our school there to cheer us on. This could be the last time any of you have to see the dynamic (and might I say, exceptionally classy) duo of Martin and Rapp do battle in Academic Competition and we will definitely be bringing our A game.

"

Thursday, April 17

EASTER BREAK

Monday, April 21

" "

1:00PM Metro Tournament @ Old Warson

Tuesday, April 22

Lunch: Country Fried Steak

Pasta

"

4:15PM V Basketball @ Lutheran South

4:15PM JV Basketball vs. Lutheran South

"

Wednesday, April 23

Lunch: Breaded Chicken

Tenderloin and Pasta

"

4:00PM V Tennis vs. John Burroughs

3:30PM V Golf vs. Lutheran South @ Quail Creek

4:30PM V Lacrosse @ Hazelwood

6:00PM JV Lacrosse @ Hazelwood

4:00PM V Tennis vs. Lutheran South

5:00PM V Ultimate vs. Parkway Central

"

Thursday, April 24

Dress Down Day

Lunch: Brisket

Breakfast

"

4:30PM V Lacrosse @ Whitefield

6:00PM JV Lacrosse @ Whitfield

4:00PM V Tennis vs. CBC

" " ""

Friday, April 25

Lunch: Fish and Chips

4:15PM V Basketball vs. MICDS

4:15PM JV Basketball @ MICDS

Editor positions opening for The Record. Contact Ms. Layton for details.