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VOLUME XLIV ISSUE 12 NOVEMBER 26, 2013

THE VIZ PRIORY
 EXPERI ENCE THE

RECORD


N E WS

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! THE RECORD Be Thankful for Everything VOLUME XLIV ISSUE 12 NOVEMBER 26, 2013 Editor In Chief Andrew Cammon ‘14 Layout Editor Lucas McGartland ‘14 Content Editors Michael Herman ‘14 William O’Brien ‘14 Eric Stange ‘14 Faculty Moderator Ms. Layton

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Contact theprioryrecord@gmail.com 314.434.3690 ext. 221

The Record Disclaimer The Record is the official student publication of Saint Louis Priory School in St. Louis, Missouri. It is produced by students/staff members. Its purpose is to inform students of events in the community; to encourage discussion of local, national, and international issues; and to serve as a training ground for budding journalists, photographers, and graphic designers. The Record accepts contributions from all members of the Priory community, including students, faculty, and alumni. The Record will not publish content considered legally unprotected speech, including but not limited to: libel, copyright infringement, unwarranted invasion of privacy, or material disruption of the educational process. Opinions in articles do not always reflect the opinion of the publication or the school. Student editors apply professional standards to the production of the newspaper and are solely responsible for all content, both explicit and implicit. Letters to the Editors are always appreciated. Feedback not intended for publication is also welcome.

By Andrew Cammon ’14 Editor-in-Chief

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During the Thanksgiving holiday every one of us has a multitude of things to be thankful for; the food on the table, the school we attend, and the family that will sit around the table with us are but a few. However as important it is to be thankful for the things we have, we should keep in our prayers and minds those who lack the very things we are thankful for. The poor have a very tough time over Thanksgiving. Already stretching to make ends meet, they fell extra pressure on this day to stretch even more. But during these times we can also give thanks for the people and organizations that seek to

help the poor through this time of increased pressure. There are even a few in this school. I believe a couple of advisory groups are pooling money to buy turkeys and hams for food pantries, the Junior School has completed its food drive, and Mr. Wenger is also taking students to St. Augustine's soup kitchen two days before Thanksgiving (today). Other, possibly more easily forgotten, groups are overseas. Our troops stationed in Afghanistan, Somalia, and other places on the globe do their best with rationed turkey and pie, but many of the things they're thankful for are hundreds of miles away, and have been for quite some time. The US has sent its troops on hu-

manitarian missions, and the victims of natural disasters should especially stay in our prayers this Thanksgiving. The victims of the typhoon in the Philippines and the refugees from Syria comes readily to mind, but there are people still recovering from natural disasters that hits years ago and people that suffer from constant, if not widely know, conflict. During this Thanksgiving, be thankful for everything. Be thankful for everyone that is sitting at the table with you, and those you couldn't make it. Be thankful for the US troops fighting to for our defense hundreds of miles away from their families. And keep the poor, from near and far, in your prayers.

20/20 Hindsight: School Dances By Lucas McGartland ’14 Layout Editor

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As my senior year at Priory grows shorter and shorter, there are some things I have come to regret not doing. In particular, I wish I had gone to more school dances. Freshman year I went stag to Homecoming and Viz Priory. I’ll be honest, they weren’t the greatest times I’ve ever had, but back then, I didn’t have any conception of what a school dance was. I didn’t have any older siblings, anybody to ask what you were supposed to do or how you were supposed to act. So Sophomore year I didn’t go to any at all. I helped set up lights and sound for them, but always left before they started. Junior year however, I decided it change things up a bit. You see, the trick to having a good time at a dance isn’t having the hottest date or

knowing how to actually dance. The trick is for you to decide that you are going to create a good time for yourself. I started off by finding myself a date. Eventually, I ended up asking a Nerinx girl who I had met over the summer (at HOBY, sophomores ask Mrs. Hall about this camp) and to my surprise, she agreed to go with me to Homecoming. The next step was to make sure my friends had dates as well. This is an important part of the school dance process: Form a group. If your friends go with you, you will have much more fun. They’ll be your wingmen and have your back the entire time, no matter how much you try to embarrass yourself. At dinner with your dates, give each other some shout outs for the great things you do. Anyways, for Junior Homecoming, I went with 2 other guys in a

group. But after barely getting a date myself, I had no idea who my friends who would be able to take. In this case, ask your date if she has any friends that would want to go. That way, she has her friends to support her, and you have your friends to support you. It’s also a great way to meet new people. Dances provide a great opportunity to get to know more girls and their friends. Always make sure you introduce your date to your friends at the dance. They probably want to meet your friends as you want to meet theirs. Getting yourself and your friends dates is the hardest part sometimes, but after that, you’re in smooth waters. On the night of the dance make sure you have: dinner reservations, a ride (if you can’t drive), a corsage for your date, tickets, continued on page 6

There’s a considerable difference between courage and reckless stupidity.


S P OR TS How !to Accessorize in Sports

3 VIZ PRIORY

V P

7:30 PM AT VIZ

By Eric Stange ’14 Content Editor

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First and foremost athletes of Priory, I will say this: go big or go home. I will throw Luby Garvin a bone here by quoting Deion “Prime Time” Sanders: “Look good, feel good, play good.” Since its in the heat of the regular season, I’ll answer football first. Also, can I just get out of the way? Skull caps are a must. Your locks must be sheathed in this manner. In addition, eyeblack if you are more of a player than a seventh grade running back. You know who was a one time seventh grade running back? Chuck Berry Carey. Bible verses written on add to the effect. If you play wide receiver, you best be sporting half inch elbow bands with gloves that are lighter than a feather and stickier than George Brett’s pine tar. Running backs best wear a visor, complete with taped wrists and sweat bands on the wrists and elbows. If you are feeling like Shaun Alexander, go without gloves. And skill players, please. You’re only as good as you’re kicks. They need to be fly AF. Quarterbacks, if you do not have a play-calling wristbands you belong on the bench. No one wants Jamarcus Russell running the show. Gloves are a personal preference. And if

you’re an aspiring John Kuhn or Jon Ritchie, you must have a full cage. You’re not juking players out of their shoes, you’re often eating shoes at the bottom of the goal line pile. Linemen sans centers on both sides of the ball better wear gloves unless you want to grow old fingerless and stammering. Linebackers refer to the fullback section. Defensive backs are basically either too slow to play receiver or too wimpy to play running back or linebacker. Just kidding, Will O’Brien. And finally, since they are the most important players on the team, kickers must spend the most $$$ on shoes. Those $400 Mercurial Vapors will do the trick. Customize to add 5 yards on kickoffs and punts. On to soccer. Those headbands will do the same things as those dreamy skull caps. Wear one unless you go Bradley bald. Keepers, you gotta have multiple pairs of gloves. No, not because they smell. But because there are countless possible field conditions. And to all those Maradonas out there, keep taping those ankles. It gets slippery out there and you know the opposing team’s hack attack is absolutely HUNTING that spot. Soccer is simple, as that adds to its beauty. On the contrary, basketball is quite complex. Shooter sleeve? You mean my uniform?

Ladies please. I mean if you plan on going hard break out your knee braces/pads, you’ll be hitting the deck. You think 1 v 1 street ball with Deeken Moss was tough for Paul Crewe? Meet the Metro League, sapsuckers. And you better tape your fingers. You may be the only person calling yourself AI 2.0, but hey practice is no excuse to not tape up. A jammed finger is about as unattractive as a Ford Flex. And Jordans? J’s? Snitch these are the only things you should be wearing on the hardcourt. Marcus Jordan got kicked off UCF’s team for not wearing these, so there’s no reason for you not to wear them. On to hockey. Your twig may not need the flexibility like Ovie’s but hey it better be more flexible than Austin Krueger’s diet. And please, Bauer or CCM only. Priory has no room for benders. With probably the best fan support at Priory, you danglers better only snipe and celly like you mean it. And that means in style. None of you may look like my boy Pierre Turgeon, but at least try not to resemble Pavel Datsyuk. No no no he is not a good player. Bender. Since most hockey equipment is standard, there is not much room for critique, except to not look like Datsyuk. Thanks for reading…

THE VIZ PRIORY EXPERI ENCE 12/07/13

TICKETS ON SALE NOW

$10 !

INCLUDES

YOU AND TWO

DATES !

GET YOURS FROM THE STUCO ROOM DURING

X PERIOD

What’s the point in being grown up if you can’t be childish sometimes?


PUZZLE S

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! Hard and Hard Sudokus:

Special Crossword

Crossword Puzzle

ACROSS 1. Farm equipment 5. Cantaloupe for example 10. The bulk 14. Former Italian currency 15. Gladden 16. A single time 17. End ___

18. A cherished desire 20. Warehousing 22. Distort 23. Card with one symbol 24. Notes 25. Travel plans 32. Charges 33. Bonkers 34. Big wine

holder 37. Unique 38. Inflammations of the big toe 39. 5280 feet 40. Born as 41. Flora and fauna 42. Lift 43. Plague 45. Anagram of "Doles" 49. In song,

the loneliest number 50. Honors 53. Change places 57. Illogical 59. Wild goat 60. Encounter 61. Antlered animal 62. Wings 63. Cocoy-

am 64. Anxiety 65. Not more DOWN 1. Add 2. Enumerate 3. Chocolate cookie 4. Guarantee 5. Scanty 6. If not 7. One time around 8. Ear-related 9. Roman emperor 10. Slogan 11. Scallion 12. Gain points in a game 13. Canvas shelters 19. Jittery 21. Air force heroes 25. Computer symbol 26. Anagram of "Note" 27. Small island 28. Detached 29. Way to go 30. Smidgens

31. N N N N 34. 8 in Roman numerals 35. As well 36. Adolescent 38. Martini ingredient 39. Cloth 41. Anagram of "Debit" 42. Telephoned 44. Commode 45. Ooze 46. Rowed 47. Enticed 48. Muse of love poetry 51. City in Peru 52. Any day now 53. Catholic church service 54. Competent 55. Orange pekoe 56. X X X X 58. Holiday drink

ACROSS
 1. Fifth Doctor story, '___ Orchid' 3. Second Doctor story, 'The ___ Pirates' 6. Actor who plays the tenth Doctor (Surname) 7. Second Doctor story, 'The ___ Warriors' 8. ... Jack, companion of the ninth Doctor 1 0. Seventh Doctor actor (initials) 1 4. Companion of the seventh Doctor 1 6. The third Doctor sometimes wore a frilly ___ 1 8. Fifth Doctor story set on the planet Deva Loka 1 9. Fourth Doctor story, 'The ___ Operation’

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DOWN 1. Fourth Doctor story, 'The ___ of Morbius' 2. First Doctor story set in 15th century Mexico 3. Famous 'lost' episode, halted due to a strike by BBC workers 4. Third doctor story, 'Terror of the ___' 5. Ninth Doctor story, 'The ___ Child' 9. After each regeneration, the Doctor has to settle into his new ___ 1 1. Ninth Doctor

There’s always something to look at if you open your eyes.

story featuring his most famous adversaries 1 2. The seventh Doctor falls into a ___ at the beginning of 'The Silver Nemesis' 1 3. Second Doctor story, 'The ___ of Death' 1 5. Fourth Doctor story, 'Nightmare of ___' 1 7. Second Doctor story, 'The ___ of the Cybermen'


FLUN K ! Energy Part One Jungle By Fr. Ralph, OSB Monk

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“Hi, Flunk, did you see this quote in the Minneapolis Dispatch last week?” asked Deaconess Gloria Dorne as she and Flunk the Flying Monk met for an early morning coffee and croissant at Starbucks on a bright Thursday morning early in the Fall of 2013. “Fire ahead, Glory,” Flunk shot back, “I’m all ears!” “From George Washington Carver who died in 1943, I believe: ‘I believe that the great creator has put ores and oil on the earth to give us a breathing spell. As we exhaust them, we must be prepared to fall back upon our own farms, which is God’s true storehouse and can never be exhausted. We can learn to synthesize material for every human need from things that grow.’” “Wow! that sounds like the launching adage for another

project,” said Flunk, breathless with excitement, “That says perfectly what Cairo was all about and inspires us for whatever we choose next.” For the less than avid reader of the Flunk and Gloria escapades over the last twenty years of The Record, the following is by way of catch-up. As related in the September 2007 edition, Flunk and Gloria organized a world congress at Cairo, Egypt to showcase the new Solar Energy Desalination Plants now being produced by a firm in Munich, Germany. With the support of many world leaders, including President Bush, Queen Elizabeth II, and Pope Benedict XVI, a massive project was set under way with a fifteen year range goal to supply abundant desalinated Mediterranean water at some forty points along the North African coast from Marakesh to Cairo at approximately 50 mile intervals. Solar-energized de-

5 Wrestling

salination plants financed by participating countries across the world were to be set up with pipelines carrying the constant stream of pure water to underground reservoirs from 50 to 200 miles inland. This massive Saharan reforestation program was being seen as a global initiative, U.N.inspired, to mimic and surpass similar but less urgent NASA type space programs. Flunk and Gloria had commented that, since it would take even our best rockets more than 20,000 years of travel to get to the nearest star, we could better serve the planet by redirecting our monetary resources to a major desert reclamation project. By the time Flunk and Gloria were meeting in their Starbucks, huge progress had been made on the project and some 20 plants were already in operation.

By Cole Wagner ’14 STUCO Member-at-Large

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Wrestling is returning this year in force. Bringing up a considera b l e n u m b e r o f p ro m i s i n g prospects to complement their strong returning class, this year's wrestling team is off to a great start, and with several vicious practices already under their belts Priory wrestling has never looked better. So if you're in the mood for watching Priory destroy our competition (insert homoerotic joke here) come out to Brentwo o d n e x t Tu e s d ay w h e re wrestling takes on Brentwood and Principia. One final note to all those who still doubt us. Come down before practice for a challenge match. We're always ready to take you on.

Michael Blogs: The Pre-December Decision By Ramzi Haddad ‘16 Staff Writer

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Nothing is worse than people who jump to Christmas before thanksgiving is over, and incessant ramblings. The feeling of remorse and guilt I receive from listening to Christmas music pre-December is indescribable. I feel like I’m cheating on my not as in shape girlfriend, Thanksgiving, with a trim and sleek new one, Christmas (who has a beard but somehow I was able to get over that). Sure its all good and fun while I’m jamming to “Jingle Bell Rock” but then Lady Turkey begs my calling and all of that fun is covered in a thick gravy of re-

gret. Because of this predicament I try to stay away from all Christmas activities until I have stuffed my stomach with jams and other assortments of pilgramish delights. People may say I have a false motivation behind my pious adherence to the holiday code, but I feel that as long as my priorities are in the correct order that is all that matters. It is not relevant that I am doing so only to not make one women mad. I also feel as though later in life this theory will treat me well.

This next paragraph was one that needed to be severely edited on account of me not possessing a filter when it comes to my intense hatred of Christmas lights pre-December. Don’t get me wrong holiday lights are very festive, but if they are pre-December we are going to have a gosh-darn-bygolly issue. Christmas lights are a pivotal part of the Christmas season but if you put them up pre-December I will cut you(r lights). So please ladies and gents

The waves of time wash us all clean.

don’t associate yourself with Christmas around me pre-December because I will be thrown into a raging depression and will not be able to deal with my sorrows. I will be forced to eat away my feelings away (This is surprisingly convenient considering Thanksgiving is coming up, but I suppose that’s beside the point. This also leads to childhood obesity of which I am a victim. Thousands of kids each year feel the guilt of cheating on Thanksgiving so they eat to drown their feelings and they create bad habits). So Priory if you want to make little kids fat then by all means put up your Christmas lights.


OP IN I ON

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! Wikipedia: The Underrated Encyclopedia By Bobby Onder ’15 Staff Writer

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Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia that anyone can edit. One might wonder why an online encyclopedia that has over four million articles is so hated by teachers across America. The reason seems to be the “anyone can edit” part, if any idiot can say anything they want on Wikipedia, how can we trust it? However, although anyone can edit Wikipedia, they cannot say whatever they want. First of all, major articles are either semi-protected or fully protected. Fully protected articles can only be edited by Wikipedia administrators. Semi-protected articles can only be edited by registered accounts that are four days old and that have made ten legit edits. These requirements would deter the average Priory student trying to claim that they invented the car. But what if someone actually went to the trouble of making a legit ac-

count just for the purpose of making fake edits? That’s what the hundreds of administrators and bots are for. Certain edits that don’t appear constructive are automatically undone by Wikipedia bots. But whether an edit is constructive or not, it isn’t invisible, it goes up on the page’s history for all to see. Administrators of course are notified of every edit as soon as it is made, so they can both see and undo that edit that says that Bobby Onder is the president of the United States. To test Wikipedia’s credibility myself, I made a series of false edits one night to see how the Wikipedia Administrators would react, and how long it would take. First, I attempted to make an article

about myself, which required an account, but I made the mistake of admitting that I was writing on myself, which is not allowed due to bias. So I made another account and claimed that I was not writing the article about myself. The “Bobby Onder” article that said that I had a genius IQ and that I invented the car, e l e c t r i c i t y, and science was deleted in under five minutes. My account was given it’s first warning on “unconstructive” posts. Then I went to the article on the elevator and edited it to say that I invented it. After that edit was undone, I furiously deleted every word on the page, but that edit was automatically undone by one of the Wikipedia bots. After a few more “unconstructive” posts,

my account was permanently banned, and my IP address was temporarily banned from making edits. And yes, Wikipedia administrators can and frequently do permanently ban a certain IP address from making edits. Since Wikipedia is not as easy to edit as it seems, does it truly deserve it’s bad reputation? I say no. While I agree students should not just paraphrase an entire Wikipedia article every time they have a research paper, I do believe that teachers should allow students to cite Wikipedia at least one time in their papers. If nothing else, Wikipedia can lead students to other sources, since it cites all of its sources at the bottom of each article. In summary, Wikipedia is a great source of reliable information that is difficult to vandalize for even five minutes. Therefore, it does not deserve its bad reputation and should be viewed as a more valid source.

The Botafumiero

Hindsight, from pg. 2

By Daniel Martin ’14 Temporary Intern Blogger

money, and, most importantly, a great attitude. When you get to the dance-floor, don’t be afraid to let it all out. The whole dance experience doesn’t matter if you can actually dance. What I’m getting at is this: going to school dances is a chance for you to hang out with your friends, to make new friends and memories. If I could have told myself all this freshman year, I wouldn’t have believed me. But after Homecoming, VP, and Prom, I can say that they have been some of the greatest moments in my Priory career. They are honestly times I will remember fondly for the rest of

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As a tenacious testament to the credibility of the wonderful Wikisource I so often utilize, I would to corroborate Mr. Onder’s article above. In Sophomore year Spanish with Padre Ambrose, the boss Michael Herman himself made his own mark on history. In a presentation to the attentive class, he recited this passage from Wikipedia (which he edited himself) and translated into spanglish via Big Brother Google: “The Botafumeiro is suspended from a pulley mechanism in the dome on the roof of

the church . The current pulley mechanism was installed in 1604. This grade "A" thurible is currently in the possession of Michael A Herman 32 Wallaby Way Sydney. It is said to weigh as much as 6 school buses and 3 elephants (fully grown of course)(well actually one baby and two fully grown). It is made of pure gold and is worth 759 Trillion dollars, more money than the entire British government owns.” Unfortunately after only 6 minutes online, this edit was reversed, and the world is forever ignorant of the truth about the botafumiero, which is a giant incense burner if you didn’t catch that.

my life. These are the kinds of memories I hope that everyone who attends Priory gets to have, but it’s up to you whether you have fun at Viz Priory. For those of you who are on the edge about going, just do it. Network. Meet people. Make memories. High school doesn’t last forever. You won’t get these kinds of opportunities when you get older. I hope you get a little something out of this article, as I did out of writing it. VP tickets are $10 and are on sale from senior STUCO members, or from STUCO members in the commons everyday until the dance. See you all at the Viz Priory Experience.

Some people live more in 20 years than others do in 80. It’s not the time that matters, it’s the person.


MUSIC ! Steals The Show On Born Sinner J Cole

7 Eric’s Picks

1 By Tripp Miller ’16 Staff Writer

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J Cole is a rapper/producer from North Carolina and one of Jay-Z's many proteges on the “Roc Nation” division of Columbia records. Born Sinner is his second studio effort, following Cole World: The Sideline Story, and a number of preceding mix-tapes. (Along the way he developed a rivalry with one Mr. Kanye West, so I'm doing my best to be objective.) J Cole's brand of introspective and self-realized lyrics seem part of a growing trend in hip-hop. Artists like Kendrick Lamar have embraced this trend quite successfully, and, with Born Sinner hitting number one on Billboard, it's evidently

working pretty well for J Cole as well. It also doesn't hurt that his production is extremely welldone. “Villuminati”, the first track, is a prime example of this: dark strings and compressed vocals (a B.I.G. sample) weave together to create something that even Cole himself admits is “way darker this time”. The production is consistently good throughout, and J Cole makes excellent use of both the electronic elements and actual instrumentals carefully blended together; it works really well. “Power Trip”'s production is nothing short of gorgeous. Most of the lyrics on this album are very personal and reflective, which becomes a two-sided

sword: because of his skill as a rapper, Cole paints these scenes with a precision that can be called nothing but lyrical expertise. This being said, it feels at times that Cole is wallowing in his situation, being melodramatic, and some of the lines are pretty cringe-worthy (some early lines in Villuminati regarding homophobia come to mind). However, overall J Cole shows himself a versatile and expert lyricist on Born Sinner. Lyrically, “Let Nas Down” is extremely interesting and really humanized Cole. Overall, it was great. Excepting occasionally lyrical blips, this album was great. Rating: 8.5/10

Nuthin But A “G” Thang Dr. Dre

2 All Eyez On Me 2Pac

3 Real G’s Eazy Z

4 Dre Day Dr. Dre

5 And Juice Snoop Dog

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Straight Outta Compton N.W.A.

Being Thankful For The NFL By William O’Brien ’14 Content Editor

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Thanksgiving is a holiday all about tradition: traditional turkey, traditional stuffing, traditional old grandpa war stories that you’ve heard a million times before, and traditional football games. Every year we get some of the best games on Thanksgiving, and this year is no exception. The first game is Lions vs. Packers, a traditional rivalry that is intensified because the Lions are fighting to take control of the division. The Lions play traditional, smash mouth football, so even grandpa can quit with the stories for a bit and enjoy the game. The

Packers meanwhile are playing their third string quarterback, and probably don’t stand much of a chance as the Lions are coming off a bad loss and will be especially focused this week. The next game will be Cowboys vs. Raiders. I wouldn’t necessarily recommend watching this game unless you satisfy one of the following criteria: a)You love football no matter atrocious it is, which this game very well might be or b)You enjoy watching Tony Romo fail and want to tune in live to see how he manages to throw away another game the Cowboys should easily win. The Cowboys are fighting for a playoff spot while the Raiders have

been playing poorly and look an all-around deficient team. The Cowboys surely HAVE to win this game, which means they’ll almost certainly lose it if history proves right. So if you’re a Romo hater, this a great opportunity to see him blow another can’t lose game. The day finishes with what should be the best game of all, Steelers vs. Ravens. Both teams are fighting for the sixth seed in an underwhelming AFC, and this game has huge playoff ramifications for both teams. The winner is right back in it for a playoff spot. This should be a great game, and a great way to cap off Thanksgiving with your family.

7

Ambitionz as a Ridah 2Pac

8 Regulate Warren G

9

California Love 2Pac

10 Original Gangsta Ice-T

For some people, small, beautiful events are what life is all about.


8

M US I C & APPS

Why 2 Chainz Is A Musical Genius By William O’Brien ’14 Content Editor

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Priory’s assembly feature “Poem of the week”, which is an opportunity to hear good works of literature. But if we really wanted to hear great literature, we would do “2 Chainz line of the week.” His lyrics are pure literary genius, and the students would do well to hear them. Below is a small sample of some of 2 Chainz quotes, just to showcase a bit of his ability.

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Line: “My chain had another chain like it was pregnant, my favorite dish is turkey ‘lasagne’.” Song: G.O.O.D Morning Why it’s genius: This line may seem short and simple, but 2 Chainz lets us know what he’s all about in this short verse. Apparently, the one chain plus its chain baby equals 2 chainz (that’s also his name...a coincidence? I think not!) Also, nei-

ther Turkey nor Lasagne are particularly cheap dishes. 2 Chainz is letting his audience know that he is partial to the finer things in life, such as fine dining. After listening to this, you should really have a firm grasp of who 2 Chainz is and what he is all about, all from just one nonrhyming line.

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Line: “I stack my money so tall, that you might need a giraffe when you counting this cash” Song: R.I.P Why it’s genius: I think this one kinda explains itself. He clearly has a lot of money, and isn’t afraid to announce it to the world, even if he knows

that means that he probably won’t be eligible for many tax refunds. That is true bravery.

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Line: “And I wish someone would like a kitchen cabinet, me and you are cut from a different fabric.” Song: I’m Different Why it’s genius: 2 C h a i n z shows that he is just as smart as any poet with his beautiful d o u b l e e ntendre here. “Would” not only is used as a verb, but also to mean “wood”, which kitchen cabinets are frequently made of. Edgar Allen Poe has nothing on 2 Chainz. Line: “Court dates skip trial, my rep is a reptile, now later

alligators, I step onna work like a stepchild.” Song: Riot Why it’s genius: From RapGenius.com: “2 Chainz has an excellent lawyer, or ‘rep’, who is great at adapting to different situations and getting him out of trouble, like the reptile the chameleon, who adapts to its surroundings by changing color.” Well put, RapGenius. 2 Chainz then goes on to further this beautiful reptile analogy by using the alligator reference.

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This is but a small taste of the poetic quality of 2 Chainz. For the betterment of the students and the school as a whole, I recommend that we start “2 Chainz quote of the Week” to follow Poem of the Week, to reinforce the literary education at our assemblies. It’s up to you to make it happen students, talk to your local STUCO rep today!

App Of The Month: QuizUp, A Trivia Phenomenon By Matt Ludwig ’14 Staff Writer

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It’s probably a good thing that you waited until now to read this article. Maybe it’s because it wasn’t written until last night or maybe it’s because you wanted to get some work done. Either way, take out your phone and head to the app store (hopefully you have an iPhone. If not, sorry. You might as well stop reading). Get the app that took just eight days to be downloaded over one million times. That’s faster than Twitter and Facebook. And being the Instagram aficionado that Tom Menteer is, he knows it’s faster than Instagram too. It’s QuizUp: the big-

gest trivia game in the world. This game isn’t just for those fixated by trivia, it’s a “world-spanning head-to-head trivia tournament.” There are a plethora of ever-expanding categories and topics that include: Arts and Literature, Geography, History, Business, Lifestyle, Music, Movies, Science, Sports, and more. You can even contribute to topics with questions of your own. As you can probably guess, this app can be viewed as educational or entertaining. Feel free to make it a competition between friends or use it as review for a quiz. This probably isn’t the best way to review for a test, but if you’re feeling lucky, go for it! There is still no Latin category, unfortu-

nately. (You wanna get on that Louis? Actually never mind. We’ll find someone else.) It’s social too. You can either connect through Facebook and use your real name (boring), or be creative and come up with a username of your own. I’ve seen names that range from you-might-as-wellhave-connected-through-Facebook (Dmart776) to interestingbut-leaves-something-to-bedesired (Badger647). There are some good one’s too. Such as “Slammin.” That’s a classic! And the best one I have ever encountered, the paragon of transcendence if you will, “The Answer Key.” I bet that guy has some crazy stats. Oh yeah, stats! This game

keeps track of wins, ties, and, for those of you unfortunate enough to actually lose, losses (as well as the percentages of each). There are also statewide and countrywide leaderboards for each category. I’ve had the pleasure of meeting the man who is the best in Missouri at 18th and 19th Century History as well as the man who is the best in Missouri at Birds (He has an unfair advantage; I’m sure if there were a “Humans” category, I’d be the best at that). And I can only dream of someday meeting the person who is the best in France at three categories (Three! In one country!), but who’s counting anyway?

If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.

Volume XLIV - Issue 12  
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