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VOL XLIII ● Issue I ● Thursday, August 23, 2012


INSIDE ● School Swan Pg. 2 ● Lunches Pg. 2 ● Cricket Pg. 3 ● iCloud Pg. 5 ● Football Pg. 7


News the RECORD Editor Princeps Peter Cogan ’13 Editor Ordinis Lucas McGartland ’14 Scriptores Brian Steiner ’13 Alex Haueisen ’13 Andrew Fogarty ’13 Jack Mueller ’13 David Nogalski ’13 Andrew Cammon ’14 Stephen Clark ’14 Christopher Hammer ’14 Austin Krueger ’14 Jarret Lowell ’14 Daniel Martin ’14 William O’Brien ’14 Antonio Petralia ’14 Eric Stange ’14 Professor Consultor Chris Bailes

The Record Disclaimer The Record is the official student publication of Saint Louis Priory School in St. Louis, Missouri. It is produced by students/staf f members. Its purpose is threefold: to inform students of events in the community; to encourage discussion of local, national, and international issues; and to serve as a training ground for budding journalists, photog raphers, and g raphic designers. The Record accepts contributions from all members of the Priory community, including students, faculty, and alumni. The Record will not publish content considered legally unprotected speech, including but not limited to: libel, copyright infringement, unwarranted invasion of privacy, or material disruption of the educational process. Student editors apply professional standards to the production of the newspaper and are solely responsible for all content, both explicit and implicit. Letters to the Editors are always appreciated. Fe e d b a c k n o t i n t e n d e d f o r publication is also welcome.

SCHOOL SWAN GOES ROGUE caught after daring campus escape BY LUCAS MCGARTLAND ’14


While driving back from Dierbergs, CJ Lester, and her best friend Kathryn Ver Hagen, noticed a swan on Mason Road, about halfway to Ladue. They couldn’t help but stop and try to assist the creature. Little did they know, that the swan was none other than Priory’s own Abelard. The Record was able to get this account of what happened from CJ: We noticed immediately it wasn’t a regular mallard duck or something. And we knew he didn’t belong there, so we stopped and tried to help. We wanted to get him out of the street because one of his little legs was almost in Mason. We were afraid people were going to hit him, so we took some salad that we got at the grocery store and spread it out and that kinda lured him away. This attracted some attention and about four or five neighbors, and other people kept stopping. I guess the police were getting a number of calls about it. Corporal Moore and Sergeant Flanagan showed up, and said that they would help us get him into a cage, and we would just put him in the Broadview Pond for lack of continued on page 11

School Lunches Get Makeover an all new committee brings important changes BY JARRET LOWELL ’14


Priory has been making great strides in the lunch room since last year. Over the summer, a new committee was formed to discuss the school’s lunches, including the food and the serving process. Improvements were made across the board, ranging from new dishes to new appliances. Overall, the lunch room shows tremendous potential for the upcoming school year. You'll find new food as well as new choices. What's the status for some of the old favorites, like meatloaf ? Gone! A variety of new lunches have taken their place. Instead of steamed/cooked vegetables as a side for most of the hot lunches, the vegetables will be

served fresh and raw at the salad bar for dipping. Also, there will be some more choices when it comes to making your lunch. This year, there will be a quesadilla maker, panini maker, and a new toaster. No more cheese will catch on fire, it will melt nicely on your sandwich or bread. If you are not satisfied with the day's lunch, there will be a new system of critiquing it. Simply write a note, and slide it into a box on your way out of the lunch room. In addition, there will be two representatives from each grade to discuss the quality of lunches. The new changes may take a little time to get used to, but they seem to be steps in the right direction. Get excited about lunch this year. One small step taken by the lunch committee over the summer led to giant leap for Priory's lunch. See the back cover for the week’s lunch schedule.

calling all junior schoolers ● see your name in print! ● email


Travel Chile Trip a tutoria journey BY STEPHEN CLARK ’14


This past summer some of my fellow Tutoria members and I went down to Chile to learn about the Tutoria program. We left June 10 and returned the 26th. The students who accompanied me on the trip were Quentin Amice, Victor Massetti, Patrick Bachmann, Mitch VanBree, Chris Ahlering, William O’brien, Louis Garvin, Eric Stange, Patrick Lane, Sean Buss, Dominic Revetta, George Paletta, Matt Tinkham, Nathan Wok, Dylan Gill, Elliott Dow, Parker Ferguson, Bryan Dunbar, Danny Holmes, Luke Gast, and Connor Wright. When we arrived in Santiago we were split up into two groups. One group went to Colegio San Benito and the other group went to Colegio San Anselmo. Once we arrived at the school we had a breakfast that would soon be known as the second breakfast and to my delight included cake. We all meet our host families for the two weeks after our breakfast. After our first day with our families we went on a retreat into the mountains. Where we broke up into small groups led by the British and in one case French exchange students who were also staying in Chile learning about the Tutoria program. After

we returned from the retreat we spent that Friday at San Anselmo. The next day we went to Valparaiso a port city on the Pacific Ocean. The city was amazing. It was built onto four hills and to get up on one of the hills we took a shaky old trolley that I was pretty sure was going to fail under our weight. The next day everyone had the day to spend with their host families. We spent the next week learning all about Tutoria. We rotated going to three schools around Santiago, San Anselmo, San Benito, and San Lorenzo. We attended lectures each day and really began to understand what Tutoria was about. We also played soccer against the Chilean students each day, which I have to say as a football player was quite traumatizing. I think we realized that the relationships we built with the 7th and 8th graders were just as

important as leading the Lectio. In the later part of the week we worked on organizing a one-day retreat for ten and eleven year olds from San Anselmo and San Benito. It was crazy but I think that everyone ended up enjoying the retreat. The general consensus was that the retreat went well. On our last Saturday we went to San Anselmo we spent a lot of time as a whole group and went over the retreat from the previous day. Also, Jose Manuel, the founder of the Tutoria movement talked to us and led a question and answer session. After we finished at San Anselmo we went to a barbecue at one of the host families house. We spent our last days with our families and sadly after a great two weeks it was time for the gringos to return. We all had a great time and hope to use what we learned to improve our Tutoria program.

Students travel to the middle kingdom 7 students, 2 teachers, 1 wife, stood one whole planet below you BY JACK MUELLER ’13


Twelve hours and thirty minutes after departing from Chicago International Airport, a United Airlines Flight landed in Beijing, People’s Republic of China. Nine Americans stepped out of the plane and into one of the most amazing international airports in the world. With a huge wooden structure above, they realized that even though there were a couple thousand people throughout the airport, not a single sound could be heard. That huge wooden structure effectively silenced any sound of moving feet or rolling luggage. Speaking at normal

volume seemed muffled even to your own ears. This is one of the many ways China engineered their infrastructure to account for the enormous amount of people living and commuting in this city alone. It was an alien world to these travelers, but they had friends to guide them the entire way. Through Beijing, up to ChangChun, down to Xian, and over to the coast of Shanghai, friends could be found. This speaks volumes of Fr. Michael’s work and his desire to internationalize the Priory community. Jonas Kong, a student of LuHe International, lived with the Thomas family during the 2011-2012 school year, during which he studied as a Junior at Priory. In that time, he became a dear friend to many

students, but Jonas in China was a whole new person. For one, Jonas is no average Chinese student. His school, LuHe International, is know for being a prestigious institution and he leads his class. His father is also the president of LuHe, which may explain his discipline. Jonas served as a translator through the four days we spent in Beijing. While we were there our host families’ showed us wonders such as the Forbidden City, the Great Wall, Tianemen Square, and the Temple of Heaven. It was sad to leave our friend is Beijing, but there is a certainty that we will see them again, and look forward to their exchange students in February. Next a short plane ride to ChangChun, also known as the Head of

Want A Dress Down Day? ● Email Mr. McNair at With Your Idea.


Clubs Ready to play cricket? the beginning of a new priory tradition BY AUSTIN KRUEGER ’14


Once upon a time, two very ambitious Priory sophomores wanted to start a cricket club. So together, they founded one. It was a club unlike any other, forged from the very fiery passions of the sport. By the end of the year, the club had garnered more members than expected, established itself as a wellknown club throughout the school, and, most importantly, the participants received awesome team uniforms. Today, the Priory Amateur  Cricket Association (PACA) is currently preparing for its second year under the leadership of founders Aidan Johnston ’14, and Austin Krueger ’14.  By this point, you might be wondering what in the world cricket is. Cricket, otherwise known as the gentleman’s sport, is particularly popular in England. It is the second widest played sport in the world, only behind soccer. Only now is cricket gaining popularity in the United States. The game is played with two teams of 11 members on a field, also known as a pitch. Players try to score by batting the ball and running across the field before the ball is recovered. This year, membership in PACA is expected to grow exponentially. It is also looking for high school teams in the area brave enough to compete against it. There are several 6-on-6 matches being planned over the course of the year right now. Most

importantly though, PACA is hoping to be the start of a new Priory tradition. As all of you should know, St. Louis Priory School was founded over fifty years ago by the Benedictine monks of England. Priory is not only a school that gives young men an outstanding education, but it also helps young men develop into the gentlemen that they are today. Cricket is part of the English heritage, and as cricket being a gentlemen’s sport, as mentioned earlier, it just makes sense to have a cricket club here at Priory. We can have our gentlemen, aka students, take part in the English traditions the monks brought with them many years ago, by playing the sport and joining the cricket club. Cricket is bound to become a new Priory tradition this year. I highly recommend to anyone and everyone interested becoming a club member and participating in the sport.   The cricket club meets on weekends, unless the weather is being uncooperative. These practices are also open for non-club members, if you are interested in joining the club or just coming and wanting to learn how to play cricket. Club members are strongly encouraged to attend, as it is a chance to scrimmage and develop your skills  further. We hope to see you on the pitch! For more information, feel free to speak to either Aidan Johnston or Austin K r u e g e r, o r e m a i l t h e m a t a i d a n @ a e q u a l u s . c o m or 

Student Council Update andrew fogarty details new policies BY ANDREW FOGARTY ’13


I’m going to be the STUCO president this year, and I’m excited and honored to have the job. To start, Student Council is an organization with the potential to do a lot of good for the students, and make a huge difference in the school. We coordinate just about all aspects of events such as Homecoming, Junior School Mixers, and Field Day. Even so, Student Council is only as good as your ideas make it.

This year, we will be notifying you of what we are working on by posting an agenda for our meetings on the Student Council board where everyone can read it. Once a week, I encourage you to take a peek at this board. If there is anything that we are woking on that interests you, talk to your class’s representative and let him know how you feel about any given item on the board. In addition, feel free to pull me aside in the hallway, because I am always open to new ideas. I’m going to do everything I can to make this year great for you guys, and I can’t wait to hear what you have to say!

Current Events: With school just starting, Student Council is hitting the ground running. This year, we have planned out a spirit week before homecoming with a few surprises in store so get ready! In addition, we are currently holding a contest to design the homecoming logo. The winning designer will receive $50, but we do ask that that you do not submit logos referencing the opponent. Entries may be submitted to any STUCO representative. Other upcoming events include the Junior School Mixer on October 5, and homecoming game on October 6.

Junior School Mixer ● October 5 ● 7:00 - 9:30 ● Tickets $10 ● On Sale Soon!


Community A farewell to Fr. Michael monks get the best vacations The beginning of Fr. Linus’ tenure as headmaster this year marks the end of Fr. Michael’s remarkable career as the leader of the Saint Louis Priory School. Fr. Michael is leaving his job as headmaster to work at St. Anselm Parish. In an interview with the Record, Fr. Michael said that he has always prayed to God to send him where his is needed. He then added that God obviously put him in the parish for him to contribute, he just doesn’t know God’s exact plan yet. However, he did say that he expects it to be harder to get 2,000 adults to work together than it was to get 450 teenagers to work together. Fr. Michael saw a lot of change while he was headmaster and he certainly had a lot to be proud of. Modest as always, Fr. Michael said that it is the Priory community and not he that should get the credit for the successes and changes. The most important change, Fr. Michael said, is Priory’s reach into the world community. He said Priory should be proud of its relationships with schools in both Chile and China. He also said that

China from page 3 the Chicken (China, when viewed as a whole, resembles a rooster). This was a “smaller” city yet its population was far greater than that of any Missouri town. Highrise buildings as far as you could see were the staple of sights during the trip. Unless you were very far away from a city, such as in the mountains, an apartment building met you on every street and corner. ChangChun was more home-stay than tours, but we all grew found of the families we stayed with. ChangChun’s school facilities were very impressive, with an extensive psychological health center in which we started most our days. From there we learned bits of Chinese history and culture. They also exhibited a world champion kung fu master, another

Priory can continue to improve in “preparing students for globalization.” Specifically, Fr. Michael would like to see Priory establish some kind of relationship with Africa, which is a very large part of the Catholic Church, but one that Priory does not have contact with. Fr. Michael also thinks it’s important for students and parents to tell the school what they want to see done or improved upon, as “the biggest room in the world is the room for improvement.” When asked what he will miss most about being headmaster, Fr. Michael responded that it will be the daily contact with students. Fr. Michael has said that he has “never really grown up,” and that being around students has “kept him [him] who [he] is.” Fr. Michael even stopped watching the news because he could keep up with the world through his students. Anyone who has been around Fr. Michael can tell he truly and deeply cares about his students. After finishing last school year, Fr. Michael left on “the longest vacation” of his life. Fr. Michael went to Key West as he

“could not resist the pull of the tropical sun.” He is now at his sister’s summer house in Maine and will then go to the Adirondacks in New York. Fr. Michael will then return to St. Louis to assume his responsibilities in the parish on November 1. Finally, Fr. Michael had a last few words for the Priory community. “An immense thank you to everybody. To families, to students, to faculty. This is the best job I’ve ever had. I don’t look forward to the leaving of this job, but I want to be as connected as I can. Friendships are forever.” Fr. Michael added that he might be seen throwing Starbursts from time to time when he returns.

martial arts master who taught us tai chi and sword play, and a nationally renowned calligrapher. From ChangChun we flew to Xian, where we visited the legendary Terra-Cotta Warriors. This was a college town and Chinese students were everywhere. Xian cuisine is a favorite people in all areas of China, we certainly enjoyed it too, all the way up to the fried perfection of a dessert known as a “birds-nest,” which was essentially a nest shaped funnel cake with sugar and sprinkles all over it. Needless to say something this greasy and sugary was too American to pass up. Next we flew to Shanghai and spend our remaining four days in a beautiful ocean city. As far as my honest about this goes, if you ever get the chance to visit this amazing country, take it. Go open-minded, and with a smile on your face. We can make friends everywhere we go.

Remember to come in @ 8:05 on Thursday for STUCO Doughnuts


Technology Apple’s icloud gets hacked hackers wipe all man’s data through icloud BY CHRISTOPHER HAMMER ’14


When some people hear the word ‘apple,’ they may think about Apple products and their reputation for being secure, which means they can’t be hacked. Apple has always advertised that their Macintosh computers don’t get PC viruses, which is true, as malware meant for Windows doesn’t affect Mac computers. Even in the past two years numerous studies have produced results that, almost unanimously, suggest that the iPhone is more secure than the Blackberry, which is typically thought of as the most secure phone brand. These studies have led many companies and even some government organizations to switch to the iPhone.However, Apple’s reputation received a major blow on Friday, August 3, when a prominent tech journalist, WIRED’s Mat Honan, had his Apple iCloud account hacked. The iCloud is Apple’s second entry into the cloud computing world, made last year, following the unsuccessful MobileMe service. It allows people to store their calendars, documents, pictures, and other information in ‘the cloud,’ and sync it wirelessly to all of the user’s Apple products. iCloud also became the host of several popular MobileMe services, such as “Find My Mac,” and “Find My iPhone,” which allowed users to locate their lost devices, and also allowed them to remotely wipe their lost devices to keep their data safe. A group of hackers exploited this capability to do a remote wipe when they gained control of Mat Honan’s iCloud account. It is believed that the hackers targeted him because he possessed a rare three letter twitter handle (@mat). They

found that his twitter account was setup with a Gmail account, and then traced that information to his iCloud account. The hackers called Apple support and claimed to be Mat. Apple has a standard set of questions, which they ask to verify identities, however the hackers exploited a flaw in the system to bypass this step. Apple uses the last four digits of their customers’ credit card numbers to verify their identities. The hackers found that Amazon believes that the last four digits of a credit card number are unimportant enough to display publicly, and the hackers were able to get access to them. However, Apple believes that the same four digits are secure enough to be used as a confirmation of identity. With Mat Honan’s four credit card digits they were able to get Apple to place a temporary password on the account, giving the hackers control. The hackers then began putting roadblocks in place to stop Mat from being able to stop them. First they remotely wiped his computer, his iPhone, and his iPad. Then they placed a lock on his iCloud account so he couldn’t access it. From his iCloud account they were able to get into his Gmail account and then to his twitter, which they plastered with spam and other inappropriate material. This could have happened to anyone who puts their information online. People can be careful, but people are not perfect. The problem lies in that every tech company disagrees on what is important information and needs to be kept secure and what can just be publicly displayed. Apple, Google, Facebook, and government agencies are all working on a more secure form of passwords and other next generation authentication solutions, but the companies refuse to work with one another, leaving their customers open to these types of hacking. Left: Apple’s iCloud kee ps your data synchronized between devices by uploading it to a remote server, then downloading it automatically on other devices when you connect to the internet.

Top 10 ipad Apps for Students Dropbox, Free Sync any file between all your devices. Up to eight gigabytes of free storage. Google Drive, Free Access Google Docs files. Five gigabytes of free storage. Evernote, Free Save your ideas, things you like, things you hear, and things you see. Evernote Peek, Free Turn your Evernote notes into flash cards using the Smart Cover. Penultimate, $0.99 Create digital notebooks that you can write in. Take notes or even sketches. iBooks, Free Use your iPad as an EReader. Access PDFs and ePub files. QuickVoice®, Free Record voice memos, class lectures, etc. Pro version is $2.99. Google Chrome, Free Browse the internet Chrome style. Syncs bookmarks, tabs, etc. Find My iPhone, Free Find your Apple devices, send messages or alarms, or even remote wipe one. Khan Academy, Free Browse and listen to all the lectures on Khan Academy.

Got A List Of Your Own? ● Send It To


Puzzles Crossword ACROSS 1. An elastic fabric 6. Cain's brother 10. Bucket 14. Heroism 15. Meal in a shell 16. Sea eagle 17. Angry 18. Apprentice 19. Poop 20. Improper 22. Walking stick 23. Analogous 24. Found at the end of a pencil 26. Feudal worker 30. Honest ___ Lincoln 31. A gesture of assent 32. Unit of bread 33. Places 35. Greek letter 39. Oversupply

Word Search


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Sports Soccer Team Update first game on the 24th at priory. be there. BY PETER COGAN ’13


This fall, the soccer team is following up, undoubtedly, the best season in Priory sports history. Taking a look back the team last year had an undefeated 27-0 record, finished ranked #1 in Missouri and #13 in the nation, outscored opponents 107-5, not mention won the state championship for the second time in school history. Since last year the team has graduated 14 of its players. Jeffrey Hopson has also decided not to play for high school soccer this year but is instead playing for the SLSG Academy program. If you’ve done the math, Priory has lost 15 players from last season, 10 of which were starters. And while it is difficult having to essentially rebuild the varsity team from scratch, the team still has set the bar high for this season. The team will rely heavily on the team captains and returning varsity players to step up their level this season and lead the team. Sam Newman (Sr), a captain and the only returning starter, will be the strongest attacking weapon on the field. He will need to create lots of chances to score and finish most of his chances as well. He is fast and has a strong left foot, so it will be dangerous

if opposing teams give him too much space. Peter Cogan (Sr), the other captain and a contributor on last year’s squad, also has a strong left foot and will need to create good attacks through the midfield. Dean Mellas (Jr) will be a key in the center of the field with his foot skills and can keep possession well. Blake Anselm (So) will lead the team’s defense this year as he gains experience in the backfield. Other players who will be vital to the team’s success will be Tucker Hively (Jr) at forward, Ryan Malqueeny (So) at midfield, Taylor Dubray (Jr) at midfield, and Joey Ciapciak (Sr) at defense. While the expectations are not as high for this year’s team, they still have the ambition to do very well. Districts this year were shook up and Priory has landed in a new district with Parkway Central, Parkway West, and Westminster. While this district is very competitive, the goal for the team is to win districts and have a legitimate shot at going to the state tournament in Kansas City for the second year in a row. While they do not have the same talent that the 2011 team had; this team has great fitness, a strong passion to win, as well as an experienced coaching staff. They were ranked #4 in the area among small schools to start the season. The team will become more experienced as the season progresses;

with the new starters getting more adjusted each week to the varsity level. With a brutal schedule the team will have the best sense of competition possible when the playoffs come around. The first game is on Friday the 24th at 4 : 1 5 a g a i n s t C h a m i n a d e at h o m e. Chaminade is ranked #1 among large schools and is perhaps the best team in the state. It would be great if the team could get lots of fans out there to support them at their first game after all of their hard work during the offseason and preseason.

The Legend of the Running Warriors an epic journey in the making BY BRIAN STEINER ’13


In the time before time, the shaded trails and wide glades of the Priory campus were roamed by a deadly band of warriors, known for their skill, guts, and speed. These men were the legends of the land, the elite runners of the cross country team that mastered the trails and challenges of the course known for its “Hill of Death.” Year after year, they brought back glory to their school, as league champions, state qualifiers, and even state champions. Yet eras have passed, and now a new crop of these men has come to take their place and defend the land. This squadron of heroes is led by none

other than the mighty and handsome senior co-captains, Ryan Donlin and Brian Steiner. The two make a formidable pair, for Ryan is incapable of feeling pain, and in fact laughs at it daily, while Brian, nursed by wild wolves as a child, has brought their ferocity, speed, and hair-covered pelt to the table. The strength of the squad comes from the juniors, however, who each possess their own unique abilities: Andrew O'Sullivan (runs 13 miles a day for fun, collects 4 leaf clovers as a hobby), Dan Stein (he's just a boss in all respects), Danny Martin (has managed to convince everyone he is not, in fact, an ostrich), Andrew Cammon (“Oh I think I have a cramp”), (6 toed) Tim Avery, and Chris Chivetta (the master of swag). With the help of strong efforts by sophomore

William Whaley and freshmen Jake Drysdale, Alexandre Amice, and Alex Lowell, a winning, nay, dominant, team has been united by fate. With hundreds of miles recorded in the grueling heat, the team has proved it is ready to compete, confirmed by the past few weeks' time trials. Now, today, after months of preparation, the epic quest to delve into state in 2012 begins, as the team voyages west to Quail Ridge Park, where they shall take on monster schools such as Francis Howell and Fort Zumwalt West. Then, on Friday, the team will journey to Jefferson Barracks to clash with their ultimate rival, a loaded MICDS squad coming off a league championship. So come and watch the story unfold this fall, as the cross country team claims their destiny.

you must be the change you wish to see in the world.


Sports Football Team Update the team is looking stronger than ever BY DAVID NOGALSKI ’13


At 5:45 AM, June 6th, a motivated Rebel football team filtered into the locker room ecstatic for the start of two-a-days. As a unit, the Rebels worked very hard this offseason making sizable strength and speed gains. Offensively the Rebels are looking very strong. The entire offensive line is returning including John Vitale, John Houser, Ed Houser, Brian Vaporean, and Sam Bruns. Behind them runningback, Thomas Raybuck, and quarterback, David Nogalski, look to lead the offensive assault. The team’s biggest concern coming into this season was whether the shoes of an almost entire senior receiving core could be replaced, especially those shoes of MIT’s Seve Esparrago. The only returning starter, Patrick Agnew, is looking sharp and will be a great weapon with his speed, especially in the short passing game. Juniors Dan Watson and Patrick O’Brien have stepped up and earned a spot in the number one group. Look for Watson to be a lethal deep threat with his size, speed, and vertical jumping ability. Also, look for senior Jack Mueller at tight end as well as split out on the outside. At 6’5” he is a big target who is a very serious threat after the catch. When asked, “How do you think the

team looks?” Thomas Raybuck said the following, “We’re looking pretty great. We’ve got about twenty plus returning seniors, a lot of talent, and a lot of effort. Then Raybuck was asked what his expectations going into the seasons were. His response was quick, saying, “Going all the way to the Dome.” Raybuck answered the question that’s been going through everyone’s heads. What is the deal was with the football team’s hairstyle? He responded, “A couple guys on the team are trying to bring the tradition back from 1973 when we last won state in football. All the guys had long hair, the flow. We’re trying to bring that back.” Lastly, Raybuck said what he thought of the teams offensive, “We’re looking great. We’ve got our entire line returning. We should be able to run the ball very well, very often. And on top of that we have some great receivers and a accurate quarterback with a strong arm who is also a dangerous running threat.” Defensively the Rebels are led from the inside out. Hard-hitting returning starting inside linebackers, Sam Friedman and Gussie Busch, will lead the team’s goon squad. The Rebels are also returning their entire defensive line including Jack Mueller, Brain Vaporean, and Brandon Tajkarimi. Look for them to get penetration and to put pressure on the opposing team’s backfield. The Rebels graduated three of their four d e f e n s i v e b a c k s t h i s p a s t s p r i n g. Sophomores John Agnew and Cole

Esparrago have worked hard this off-season to fill the void earning starting spots during two-a-days: John at safety and Cole at cornerback. The defense as a whole is looking crisp and is set out to be a dominant force on the gridiron. Junior linebacker Gussie Busch was also interviewed. When asked what his thoughts on the team were Busch said, “The team is looking more experienced than last year’s. We’ll fight tough, and play every game hard.” Busch was then asked how he thinks the defense is looking, he replied, “The defense is looking strong, the guys are stronger than last year and have gained more experience.” The final question Busch was asked was what his expectations were to this Rebel team. Just like Raybuck, Busch responded decisively and briskly, “The expectations are to win a state championship, and probably go undefeated, I think its possible. We’ve just got to play well every game.” Last Friday night, a focused Rebel team put all their practice to work at JFK’s jamboree. The only 4A ball club at the scrimmage, the Rebels were all business. They rolled Principia, JFK, and Winfield. The team took it as a chance to work out the few kinks leftover from August camp and polish up for their upcoming season opener. The Rebels take on Alton-Marquette at 7:00 PM, August 25th. All the Rebel Faithful should be there.

you miss 100 percent of the shots you never take.


Opinion What Grinds My Gears BY ALEX HAUEISEN ’13


You know what grinds my gears? Dentists.  Now this is a vast topic. Believe me, I could talk for hours on the many misfortunes that befall me on a trip to the dentist.  In the waiting room, the kid who clearly doesn’t want to go in and starts kicking and screaming and his mom has to literally drag him into the room, and the kid is screaming his lungs out and kicking everyone he can reach, which includes you, while you sit there awkwardly acting like you don’t notice and staring at your phone. But no, I want to talk about a very specific issue I have with dentists.  When you first sit in the chair, the nurse starts talking to you. Asks what school you’re from, if you play any sports etc. You’re having a conversation, and then she starts cleaning your teeth, and she fills your mouth with that dental stuff that tastes vaguely minty. But she keeps asking questions. You obviously can’t respond, your mouth is full of this paste stuff but she’s still asking questions and seems to expect you to respond.  You can’t form words without spitting in her face, and she asks how you like football or whatever and you have to like primally grunt in response, trying to communicate your feelings on football without words.  So you just kind of make a positive sounding “errrglaflalockenflur” and somehow she interprets that and cheerfully says, “yeah my son played at his school, he really enjoyed it too.”  This continues until she finishes and the dentist himself comes in. Glad to see him, you’re relieved that the nurse is finally gone.  The dentist gets out the thing that literally sounds like a buzzsaw and starts cleaning your teeth. And while this buzzsaw sounding instrument is in your mouth, he says, “so I hear you play football, what position do you play?” At this point, you give up trying to answer and just wait till he’s finished before answering. I understand that he’s just trying to start a conversation, but at least take the drill out before asking me how summer is going. You have to wonder why they haven’t learned by now that people don’t respond with a drill in their mouth.  Are their people that do? And that, my beautiful Priory classmates, is what grinds my gears.

The Great Tim Tebow Debate love him or hate him? BY WILLIAM O’BRIEN ’14 & ERIC STANGE ’14


Eric Stange: Some of you may already know this, but I am against Tim Tebow as a quarterback. The guy is downright terrible. I do understand that many NFL fans hate Tebow and I may sound like a broken record here, and be a ‘hater’ or whatever you think, but I am not a blind fair weather fan who says things for shock value. I do not care what Tebow’s fans think, he’s awful. His throwing mechanics are hurtful to the eyes. Sure, he may able to throw deep when needed, but his touch passing and play recognition are very below average for an NFL quarterback, let alone a starter in this league. This is by no means a secret, but the Denver Broncos had one of the best defenses last year and the best rushing attack in the NFL, so clearly Tebow did not carry the team by himself. And oh by the way, Matt Prater made a few kicks from legendary range that sealed crucial wins down the stretch. With an average kicker, defense, running game, or any one of the three, Tebow would have come up short last year. With many unproven deep threats highlighted by rookies Stephen Hill and St. Louisian Wes Kemp, who did not even have great collegiate careers, only physical attributes that put them on scouts’ maps, Tebow may not succeed with deep throws this

year like he did last year. Granted he does have a solid possession receiver in Santonio Holmes, this Jet running game is nowhere near as potent as the Broncos’ was last year. In conclusion, with teams around the league fully aware of what Tebow’s skill set is, and his luck already out, he will just not succeed. Wake up Tebow fans, reality has set in. William O’Brien: I’m not going to sit here and argue with you that Tim Tebow is a top ten quarterback in the NFL. I’m going to tell you that, and we’re going to move on. Sure, he might not be the prototypical Tom Bradyesque quarterback. But ten years ago, a Cam Newton like quarterback would have difficulty finding a roster place on any team. Dear NFL faithful, times are a-changin. Any guy who can orchestrate a relentless running game that takes up the clock, while still being able to make the throws that matter WHEN they matter has a place on MY team. And for the record, my fantasy football team won the league last year. Ask Eric on that one. Mark Sanchez is a frail minded, floppyarmed, illiterate child. Tim Tebow is an unflappable leader, with many attractive women flinging themselves at him willynilly. Now who do you want to lead your football team? Here’s My prediction for the Jets? After a rocky start with Sanchez, if it’s not too late, Tebow will lead a noble comeback, taking the Jets to AFC championship game, where they will lose to Jeffrey Bebee’s Bills. But that’s a different story.

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Opinion Michael Phelps: Greatest Olympian Ever? greatest athlete ever? BY ANTONIO PETRALIA ’14


Without a doubt, Michael Phelps is one of the best, if not the very best of the swimmers that the world has ever known. In less than a decade, he broke 29 individual and 10 relay world records, many times breaking his own, seven of which still stand today. Additionally, he is the most decorated Olympian of all time, holding the records for most Olympic medals (22) and most Olympic golds (18), along with many others. However, some are reluctant to say he is the “Greatest Olympian” ever. Michael Phelps has certainly broken many records, but as previously mentioned, many were his own, he wasn’t beating anyone else, he was only improving himself. Additionally, the technology used in racing suits is constantly evolving, and giving an edge to the newer generation of swimmers. Swimming records are broken in fractions of seconds- often by improving the time less than 1%- and wearing a faster suit that was not available to the previous record holder could easily be the deciding factor. The constant evolution of the sport is why the average swimming world record lasts for less than a year, while a track and field record usually endures for over a decade1. Michael Phelps was an incredible swimmer, perhaps the best of all time, but records between

different sports cannot be compared one-toone. In addition to his records, Phelps has an impressive collection of olympic swimming medals. What some people do not realize is between the different strokes and lengths of races, a single swimmer can choose to compete in any of seventeen different events, and therefore have seventeen chances at Olympic medals. In contrast, most other athletes have less than six possible events to compete in, and those in many sports such as football, basketball, volleyball, handball, and field hockey have just one chance at a

medal every four years. Michael Phelps in an incredible athlete. He has become a household name, and many call him with good reason the best swimmer in the world. He has broken extremely many records, in swimming and in Olympic medals, but much of this could be due to the sport he has chosen, where world records fall annually, and in which twenty-seven gold medals are given out to each gender at every Olympic Games. So what do you think? Can he be called the “Greatest Olympian” who has ever lived? 1

Dark Knight Rises composer releases tribute proceeds benefit victims of aurora, colorado shooting BY DANIEL MARTIN ’14


After the shooting in Aurora, Colorado, the composer of the music for the film The Dark Knight Rises, Hans Zimmer, released a tribute piece of music from which the proceeds will benefit the victims, and their families. In the wake of the violence, Zimmer posted on Facebook, “I am

devastated by this tragedy, and my heart is with the victims, survivors and their loved ones. Words fail me.” It seems that music however, did not fail him. Days after the shooting, Zimmer released a stirring, emotional, and haunting tribute piece of music, aptly called Aurora. Zimmer wrote, “I recorded this song in London in the days following the tragedy as a heartfelt tribute to the victims and their families. 100% of the proceeds will be Stay Hungry ● Stay Foolish

d o n a t e d t o Au ro r a Vi c t i m Re l i e f organization.” Clocking in at a little over eight and a half minutes, this eerie yet emotional piece is a fitting soundtrack to the aftermath of the tragedy. Listeners may even recognize a special cue from The Dark Knight Rises. The song can be found on iTunes for $1.29, as well through MoonToast, where users can donate as little as 10¢ or up to $2,500 for the Aurora Victim Relief organization.




Running & Zombies


it should have been an olympic sport

Monday, August 27



By combining the most exiting sport, cross country of course, and the most dangerous threat to the world, zombies, the creators of the Zombie Survival Dash think they have made the ultimate weekend activity. On October 27, participants will gather at Forest Park for the run. All runners will be given a belt with three flags; their objective is to finish the race with at least one flag still on their belt. When the starting gun sounds, the runners will be subjected to five kilometers of mayhem. Zombies will be stationed throughout the course, and they

Swan from page 2 a better place.While Kathryn and I went back to get the dog kennel to put the swan in, that’s when they got a call from Priory saying that the swan was missing and that we had had it. So we got a police escort back to Priory and Abelard was released, and he had a happy ending.

will attempt to steal the runners’ flags. Yet the undead will not be the only things separating the runners from the finish line. The course itself will be rough and muddy, and there will be about a dozen man-made obstacles for the runners to contend with. These obstacles could be anything from a tunnel to wire that runners will have to crawl under. Its sounds like a blast, but it’s not all f u n a n d g a m e s. C o l u m bu s f ro m Zombieland stressed “cardio” as perhaps the most essential survival tool in the zombie apocalypse. In addition to a great time, this run can help prepare you for the inevitable, real zombie apocalypse, because when you hear moaning, you better be running.

First Day of School All School Mass Lunch: Chicken Wrap, Fresh Fruit, Italian Ice 4:15PM V Cross Country Kickoff 5:15PM JV Cross Country Kickoff

The reason for the swan’s escapade is suspected to be a lack of bread. While Fr. Michael was on vacation, Abelard was not getting fed the bread it usually eats, and resorted to wandering off campus searching for better food. Thankfully, due to the efforts of heroes CJ Lester, Kathryn Ver Hagen, Corporal Chris Moore, and Sergeant John Flanagan, Abelard has been safely returned to campus. All of Priory thanks them for saving such a valuable member of the community. Laus Tibi Domine.

Friday, August 31

Tuesday, August 28 Lunch: Pizza Calzone, Fresh Steamed Carrots 4:15PM JV Soccer @ Parkway Central 5:30PM V Soccer @ Parkway Central

Wednesday, August 29 Lunch: 100% Beef Hotdog, Baked Beans 4:15PM V Soccer @ Lutheran North JV Soccer @ Lutheran North

Thursday, August 30 Lunch: Grilled Chicken Breast, Rice, Broccoli 7:15PM Form VI Parent/Student College Night Summer Reading Discussions Lunch: Ultimate Cheese Panini 4:15PM V Cross Country @ Jeff. Barracks 5:15PM JV Cross Country @ Jeff. Barracks

Saturday, September 1 No events scheduled.

Sunday, September 2 No events scheduled.

Monday, September 3 Labor Day - No Classes

Tuesday, September 4 Lunch: Pulled Pork, Mac & Cheese 4:00PM V Soccer @ St. Dominic Tourney

Wednesday, September 5 Lunch: Spaghetti, Garlic Bread, Asparagus 4:00PM C Soccer vs. SLUH

Thursday, September 6 Lunch: Hamburgers, Fries, Broccoli

Friday, September 7 All School Mass Lunch: Cheese Lasagna, Carrots

official student publication of the saint louis priory school since 1960.

VOL XLIII - Issue I - Thursday, August 23, 2012  

VOL XLIII - Issue I - Thursday, August 23, 2012

VOL XLIII - Issue I - Thursday, August 23, 2012  

VOL XLIII - Issue I - Thursday, August 23, 2012