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THE RECORD WEEKLY Volume XLIII

Issue 8

New Term Begins While Students Anxiously Await Winter Break

GRINELL GAURD DROPS 138

Jack Taylor becomes the big man on campus P5

TRUE MEANING OF CHRISTMAS

Mall madness all December or baby Jesus? P9

VIZ-PRIORY ON THE HORIZON Be at Visitation for a magical night P3

JAMES BOND: SKYFALL 2 hours of sheer thrill P8


News The Record Staff

SnapChat: iPhone App of the Century

Editor in Chief: Peter J. Cogan Layout Editor: Jack M. Mueller Content Editor: Patrick C.Lindmark Editor at Large: Thomas S. Burton Faculty Moderator: Chris W. Bailes

The Record Disclaimer The Record is the official student publication of Saint Louis Priory School in St. Louis, Missouri. It is produced by students/staff members. Its purpose is threefold: to inform students of events in the community; to encourage discussion of local, national, and international issues; and to serve as a training ground for budding journalists, photographers, and graphic designers. The Record accepts contributions from all members of the Priory community, including students, faculty, and alumni. The Record will not publish content considered legally unprotected speech, including but not limited to: libel, copyright infringement, unwarranted invasion of privacy, or material disruption of the educational process. Student editors apply professional standards to the production of the newspaper and are solely responsible for all content, both explicit and implicit. Letters to the Editors are always appreciated. Feedback not intended for publication is also welcome.

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By Peter Cogan ‘13

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or those of you with an iPhone that have not yet downloaded Snapchat from the App Store: get with the program. Snapchat was launched nearly a year ago, however its popularity has taken off during the last few months. It is a photo sharing app where users can send pictures, most commonly selfies, to their friends for a specified amount of time from 1-10 seconds. Here’s the catch: once the time runs out, the picture is wiped out of existence, never to be seen again. And no, your friend cannot even take a screenshot. If he or she foolishly attempts to do so, you will be notified of their attempt and can reprimand them as you please. This concept of data that expires is revolutionary in that, users are no longer afraid of having whatever they sent shown to the world. You may send whatever you please. You can feel free to send that creepy selfy of yourself to your friend, or to send a kissy face to your special someone. The possibilities are endless. You can have day long conversations with people through Snapchat by adding captions to go along with your photo. It is much quicker, and more casual than sending

a picture along with a text. Plus, now you no longer have to worry about somebody misunderstand-

No, but it caught her off guard and it was unique. This embodies the whole point of Snapchat,

So pictures like these cannot be immortalized. Yes, we know: shameless self-inclusion. Deal. ing your text, because they now have a picture of your face right there. Snapchat is new and people do something different with it everyday. For instance, I asked my date to Viz Priory via Snapchat. Was it the most traditional way?

you can be more adventurous with people without any worry. So to anyone who has yet to discover this gem of an app, I suggest that sometime soon you make your way onto the App Store and download it for free.

D E T S I L T NO

Review Day No Classes

Chicken Wrap

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Chef’s Choice Exam Week

Baked Mostaciolli w/ meat sauce Steamed Vegies

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Chef’s Choice Exam Week

Flame Grilled Hamburgers Baked beans, steamed broccoli

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Dining Hall Closed30 Grading Day No Exam Week Classes

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Happy Thanksgiving Break!

submit your article to theprioryrecord@gmail.com

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Happy Thanksgiving Break!


News Viz-Priory Preview

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By Peter Cogan ‘13

ello all, it is the Christmas season again and you know what that means… It is time for the Viz-Priory dance. This dance is always a hugely popular event, and is called the social event of the season. After all, what better way is there to kick off Christmas than to have a wild night with some friends and lots of ladies? I know that some concern has arisen from the fact that the dance has been relocated to Viz this year, but please rest assured that only thing different about this year’s dance will be that it is just

a little further down highway 40. Priory and Viz STUCO are doing the best they can to make sure everything is just the way it has been at Priory. There will be a photo booth as usual, and the music selection will be immaculate (please feel free to give any STUCO officer song suggestions for the dance). STUCO even has a special surprise planned for the dance, which would be well worth your while if you come. And as if that won’t be enough to persuade you, there will be several celebrity couples at the dance, the most widely

known being Dan Jacob and his lady Courtney “Coco” Meek. But don’t fret if you are unable to find a date, because there will be loads of high-class Visitation girls going to the dance stag just hoping to meet a guy like you. So date or no date, the odds are in your favor for meeting lots of ladies. Make sure you purchase your ticket from any STUCO officer beginning next Monday; tickets are $10. One ticket gets you and up to three dates into the dance (No, the girls need not be students at Visitation). I know

that most of you had at least seven dates lined up already, but we ask you to please select only three of them, or distribute them to your classmates at will. The dance starts at 7:30, please be there by 8 at the latest. The party goes on until 10:30. Also, make sure to tell your date(s) to bring a pair of flats if they plan on wearing heels (they might want to wear these at the dance). If you need any tips on dressing classy, be sure to ask senior Ed Houser as he is the classiest man (visually or otherwise) on Priory’s campus.

“I’m just as excited for this dance as i am for my . i already have three dates lined up!” -Alexander Noddings Remember to come in @ 8:05 on Thursday for STUCO donuts!

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Sports MBPLS Returns After One-Year Hiatus By Mr. Kyle Oberle

Eight members of the St. Louis Priory School Class of 2017 are poised to revive the defunct Major Bundes Premier Liga of Soccer (MBPLS). The MBPLS’s eight teams are slated to kick of December 3, 2012 at Busch Field and will contend for St. Benedict’s Cup.

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he MBPLS will return to action on December 3 with a seven-game regular season during which all eight teams will face each other once. Regular season results will determine seeding for a single-elimination postseason tournament in what stands to be an unparalleled demonstration of soccer at its finest. On November 27, Mark Ciapciak, Victor Djavaherian, Matthew Fonseca, Shane Isaak, Tejas Sekhar, Tommy Sevastianos, Diego Ruiz-Huidobro, and Dominic Young were named team captains by the league’s executive board. After scouting the

talent at this week’s combine, the captains will select teams during Friday’s x-period under the supervision of Mr. Kyle Oberle, the league’s commissioner. Mr. William Bander and Mr. Andy Wenger are the league’s additional board members carrying the titles of chief executive officer and president, respectively. Once again, the league seeks to gain extra attention with a host of unique team names issued by the league’s executive board. At the league’s inaugural press conference, the captains announced team names and sought to win the preseason battle of words. Mark Ciapciak, captain of FC Cockroach, declared that his squad will undoubtedly be the last team standing. “I mean, seriously, cockroaches can survive a nuclear attack. I think they can handle a soccer championship.” To appeal to the Hispanic audi-

ence, the league appointed Victor Djavaherian as the captain of Real Cucaracha, the league’s sole Spanish-named team. Djavaherian noted, “I am honored to lead La Cucaracha into battle for the glory of the Spanish-speaking world. As tough as cockroaches are, they sound even more legit when called by their Spanish names.” Fonseca, who will lead the Flowing Funkmasters into battle, did not seem concerned about these intimidating names. “No need to fear; we just feel the flow, man.” Isaak, known for his eloquence and professionalism, will captain Star Crunch United, the league’s flagship organization. “I will represent Star Crunch, the league’s primary sponsor and beloved junior school snack, to the best of my abilities for the glory of Little Debbie and the MBPLS.” Sekhar will run St. Boniface as a tribute to the league’s Benedic-

tine heritage. Sevastianos, with his strong soccer pedigree, will head up the Lunchroom Labradors. Unfortunately, Sevastianos missed the press conference on account of being occupied with Priory’s new and improved lunch. He later claimed that he was simply fact gathering for his team’s moniker. Ruiz is the captain of the Freemasons, and Young is to head the Old Timers as the league seeks to appeal to the geriatric crowd. The MBPLS will run under the governance of the St. Louis Priory Athletics Department. Mr. Tom Fiala, Athletics Director, and Mr. Marty Combs, Assistant Athletic Director, through enforcing the school’s athletic requirement have brought together a tremendous talent pool. Mr. Combs explained, “The kids have to play.” And so it begins.

1-1, Rebels Come Out Strong In Two Close Games By Jack Mueller ‘13

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uesday night Rebel Basketball had the first game of the Valley Park Invitational. Seated sixth (per usual) the Rebels played the number three seat, Trinity, who beat the team in last year’s Valley Park Tournament by making a buzzer-beater three. The team came out strong with a standout performance from senior forward Quintin Amice. Amice had 14 points, 8 rebounds, and always seemed to be in the right place at the right time. Sophmore guard

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Cole Esparrago proved his abilities with 8 points, 3 assists, , all while executing the Priory offense with a level head. Senior point guard Sam Newman had 10 points, 5 assists, and 2 steals to help push the Rebels over the top to win narrowly 59-57. Nate Vonder Haar, and Jack Heitz contributed 6 and 7 points, respectively. The game showed the Rebels ballers will be athletic and tough against even the quickest opponents. Last night the team

went up against a familiar team from Crossroads Academy. The game was with a tie going into half 28-28. The Rebels could only come so close to taking a lead throughout the second half, and with 10 seconds to go, on a steal, Crossroads’ PG number 3 slammed the ball home to drive the stake home. Rebels lost 4642. Stats are not yet available for the game. Although Jack Heitz’ 3 pointer and 1 got the whole crowd to its feet, and he sunk the

free throw to put the Rebels in reach of closing the gap (44-42 C). Tomorrow the Rebels play Brentwood Highschool for the 3rd place game. The game is at Valley Park at 6:00pm. Expect the Rebels to produce another exciting game to start your weekend. Come out and cheer for your school! It only gets the team more fired up, and the game more enjoyable.

Viz priory Dance Saturday Dec. 8 at 7:30 pm


Sports Grinnell’s Taylor Makes His Point By Kenneth Kreuger ‘14

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n Tuesday November 20th, Faith Baptist Bible sophomore David Larson scored an astounding 70 points against Grinnell College. Sadly for him, Grinnell’s Jack Taylor scored nearly double that to shatter the NCAA record for points scored in a game. Taylor, a 5-10, 170 pound sophomore from Black River Falls, Wisconsin, scored a mindboggling 138 points, leading the Pioneers’ to a 179-104 victory. Even more unbelievable is that Taylor shot less than 50 percent, making “only” 52 out of 108 shots, including 27 out of 71 from beyond the 3-point arc. He averaged a shot every 20 seconds, which is exactly the Grinnell style. The Pioneers take an absurdly high number of shots, believing that taking quick shots leads to more points. In this case, the game plan worked to perfection! “It’s unbelievable, honestly,” said the Miami Heat’s LeBron James. That’s right, King James thinks that this kid’s performance was unbelievable. “Before the game, I was a regular college basketball player.

Now I’m getting tweets from NBA players,” Taylor said. “It’s definitely crazy.” By halftime, the diminutive point guard had poured in 58 points, and opened up the second half with another 30 in 9 minutes. “Honestly, it’s still not settling in. It was hard to sleep,” he told the Associated Press. He not only set the NCAA record for points scored, but also set records for field goals made (52), field goals attempted (108), 3-pointers made (27), and 3-pointers attempted (71). He probably set the record for most records set in a single game, as well. With 11:14 left to play in the second half, Taylor broke the Division-III record with 91 points. He reached the century mark with 8:55 remaining. Just over four minutes later, at the 4:42 mark, Taylor made a 3-pointer to reach 113, breaking the all-time NCAA record set in 1954 by Rio Grande’s “Bevo” Francis. The basket was his fifth point in a row, and his streak would eventually reach 28 straight, yet another D-III record. Despite playing D-III ball, fans across the nation will

be watching the young phenom to see what else he can do. How-

ever, a 138 point performance will be a tough act to follow.

Priory Wrastlin’ Kicks Off The Season With Two Victories

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By Justin Davis-Morgan ‘13

n Nov. 27, the Rebels wrestling team had its first meet, a tri-dual against Brentwood and Principia. Priory opened with a close win over Brentwood [42-39], with most matches on both sides ending in pinfalls. After Brentwood defeated Principia, Priory took them on, achieving another close victory [41-23]. Matches were tough and well fought for all

three teams, and several forfeits by both Brentwood and Principia helped to seal Priory’s victories. The varsity lineup consisted of Ramzi Haddad (106), Anthony Leisure (120), Patrick Lane (126), Cole Wagner (132), Michael Herman (138), Patrick Rolwes (145), Elliot Dow (152), Dominic Coppola and Alex Haueisen (160), Kevin Schilling (170), Connor

Behnen (182), Patrick French (195), Taylor Boyce (220), and Wyatt Gale (285). The junior varsity squad also had a very strong showing against both teams. This year saw the loss of a strong group of wrestlers in the class of 2012, including 2 of last year’s 3 state qualifiers – meaning that the squad has had important holes to fill in the lineup. Those return-

ing to the squad, along with less experienced wrestlers, have done a great job of stepping up to the task. Look for the Rebels’ success to continue as they head to John Burroughs for a tournament Nov. 30 – Dec. 1, where they placed second last year.

hockey Game tomorrow 7:45 at brentwood vs micds

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Sports 2009 NFL Draft: Mark Sanchez Sanchez was drafted with the fifth overall in the 2009 NFL Draft by the New York Jets, who were in desperate need of a long term quarterback, after having used Brett Favre as a placebo in 2008 and juggled current Ram Kellen Clemens, Brooks Bollinger, and Chad Pennington the previous two years. Mark Sanchez came into the league with only one year in the spotlight at USC, where he performed admirably, leading the Trojans to a 12-1 record and a Rose Bowl victory. Not boasting too many physical attributes, Sanchez made up for it with his leadership abilities, his Football IQ, and poise. In 2009, he led the Jets over division winners Cincinnati and San Diego, playing efficiently (1 turnover in both games combined) to set up a battle with top seeded Indianapolis. Sanchez and the Jets led at halftime, but were unable to hold up the Colts’ assault and lost 30-17. In 2010, the Jets saw similar success with Sanchez throwing for 3291 yards and 17 touchdowns, all the while having the fourth best rush offense in the league. In the playoffs, after having guided the Jets to a record of 11-5 and a second consecutive Wild Card berth, Mark led the Jets to two of the most riveting playoff games of the new decade. The first, was a close game against Indianapolis in which the he led the Jets down the field to a gamewinning field as time expired, and revenged the previous year’s loss in the playoffs against the Colts. The second, another payback game, had the Jets beating fellow AFC East team and champion New England Patriots, who had beat them 45-3 in the regular season. In the following AFC championship game, the Jets fell down early to second-seeded Pittsburgh 24-3 at half, but Sanchez almost rallied the Jets to victory, scoring 16 second half points to close the deficit to five, but could

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NFL Studs or Busts Eric Stange ‘14

not close it out. Despite these close losses, current performance and whatever nonsensical criticism that comes his way regarding statistical performance, Sanchez actually has some stats that will blow his critics out of the water. Mark Sanchez has a career quarterback rating of 94.3, good for sixth ALL-TIME. His

other postseason numbers are nine touchdowns, three interceptions, and 1,155 yards in only six games. For those that say big time signal callers play their best when it matters most, Sanchez must be considered in that discussion. His postseason rating is better than both the Manning brothers by six points, Ben Roethlisberger’s by eleven, and Joe Flacco’s by 24! Those four quarterbacks are regarded for praiseworthy postseason performance. If those are the praises being tossed at those quarterbacks, then Sanchez must be a legend. Today, the Jets have struggled due to a nose diving ground game, an uninspired linebacking corps, inexperienced receivers, and injuries in the secondary. Those problems are not

on Sanchez’s conscience. Down the road, if Rex Ryan stays head coach, the ground game is improved, and the defense’s first and second levels are overhauled, then Sanchez will be able to lead the Jets to the Super Bowl. SUCCESS 2010 NFL Draft: Gerald McCoy

Drafted out of a famous class of players from the University of Oklahoma (just ask Mrs. Schulz), defensive tackle McCoy received first team All-America honors in his junior and senior years in Norman. Already a shining star, McCoy wowed scouts at the NFL combine. Listed at 6’4, 300 pounds, he recorded a ridiculous 5.04 40 yard dash time, pretty nimble for a big boy (rather, man). He also wowed many scouts with his strength as well, recording 23 repetitions on the bench press. Having earned his third overall selection in the 2010 NFL draft, he had a respectable rookie season, recording three sacks in 13 games, before suffering torn biceps, thus ending his season. Gerald suffered through a disap-

pointing season last year, playing in only six games due to injury. Seeing his team fritter away a 4-2 start, losing their last twelve games did not help, either. Determined to find success, McCoy worked intensely this offseason and it has payed dividends. He has started every game this year, and the surprise Buccaneers are a favorite to lock up a Wild Card spot. With the physical and mental tools, McCoy has immense upside, is only 24, and has a defensive paradise in Tampa Bay to let his talents soar. SUCCESS 2011 NFL Draft: Cam Newton Cam Newton burst onto the scene in 2010, recording outlandish success at Auburn in his first year there. After winning the national championship, the Heisman trophy, and setting many records, many considered Newton the most unstoppable college player of all-time. Drafted first by the Carolina Panthers, expectations were through the roof for Newton, who had only been playing junior college football the year before. Boasting incredible arm strength, agility, quickness, and speed, many considered him the perfect prototypical quarterback. Beware, this has happened before. Akili Smith, Tim Couch, and Vince Young have been compared to Newton, and all have striking similarities in their collegiate careers. Some are; a gimmick offense, easy opponents to pad stats, five star recruits at every other position, lower expectations, simplified playbooks, and softer game-planning. Newton had A+ ratings on all these fronts by this scout, and that is not a good sign at all. Another, more recent sign of potential incompetency is being a winner of the Manning Award, which is given to the best quarterback in the FBS that year. First awarded in 2004, this award has a brief yet telling history. The only winner to have found success, which of course lasted longer than

basketball game tonight versus Brentwood 6:00pm @ Valley Park


Sports a foolish eleven week carnival ride that included an undeserved playoff win, is Matt Ryan. The other winners (discounting Robert Griffin III, who will either boom or bust in short time) include the miserable company of Matt Leinart, Vince Young, JaMarcus Russell, Tim Tebow, and Colt McCoy. These five quarterbacks were never meant to see the starting lineup of an NFL team, and Newton

will find out he does not either. As teams begin to delve deeper into game-planning against him, his talents will be limited. With the inevitable retirement of Steve Smith upon them, the Panthers, are without a true playmaker at wide receiver, and no, Brandon LaFell and Greg Olsen absolutely do not fit the bill. Newton’s one saving grace is the depth at running back, a defense on the rise,

and a strong fanbase. However, no player in the NFL can rely on talent alone, and Newton will find this out the hard way. How telling is it that savvy veteran Steve Smith criticizes Newton’s attitude after a tough loss which Newton was 16 for 30 passing, with 3 interceptions, saying “I watched D.A. [Derek Anderson] and Jimmy (Clausen), they don’t play in 20-something games last year.

And they get up and they observe and learn and get those mental reps,” Smith said Friday. “I told him [Newton], ‘You can get some mental reps or you can sit on that bench and sulk.’ ‘’ Interesting, another Manning Award winner that had attitude problems that sulked often was JaMarcus Russell. That is where Cam Newton is headed, and it does not look to be a enjoyable ride along the way. BUST

2009 NFL Draft: Mark Sanchez In the NFL, it is said “Winning is the only thing that matters”. And I am a firm believer in that. In his first two years as the Jets quarterback, Mark Sanchez took them to two consecutive AFC championship games. Those years he was asked to do little more than take care of the ball as he had a great rushing attack and a fantastic defense. But now, as the Jets ask him to do more for the team, Sanchez is the biggest accident waiting to happen in the NFL. Turnovers come in numbers that rival the bookstore crowd when chocolate chip muffins are on sale (by the way Mrs. Staed could we please get more than 4 a week? Trust me we would buy them). Anyways back to the topic, the Jets traded up to get Mark Sanchez to be “the guy” for them. To make matters worse, the Jets front office and head coach Rex Ryan have coddled Mark Sanchez, greatly overstating his talent and refusing to consider the possibility of bringing in another quarterback. As a result, Sanchez became complacent and is getting worse every year, every game, every play it seems. He never delivered a super bowl for a Jets defense that deserved it, and seems to get further and further away from one every year. BUST

ago, the big boy in the bay, nose tackle Gerald McCoy has always taken heat for being a bust. It doesn’t help his case that one of the most dominant defensive tackles in the league, Ndamukong Suh, was taken the pick right before him. After having health issues, McCoy has emerged in his third year as a dominant player in his own right. As of October, he led the league in plays made behind the line of scrimmage. McCoy is emerging as one of the best defensive tackles in the league and may be headed to the pro bowl. It may have taken the big man some time to mature into an every down force, but he is still young with a long career ahead of him if he can stay healthy. He is now part of a young nucleus of a great defensive lineman for the Buccaneers and is rapidly becoming the defensive anchor they hoped for. SUCCESS

analysts greatly overestimated the Panther’s talent and thought they could be a playoff team. However they have struggled, partly due to injury, partly because they’re in the toughest division in the NFC, and partly because they’re just not that talented. And Cam Newton, the same guy from last year, has taken heat because he’s regressed from his amazing numbers from last year. Teams focus on him and him alone, daring the Panthers to try to run the ball with DeAngelo Williams or Jonathan Stewart (two good running backs having pathetic seasons.) Plus the defense is just anemic at times, left without star linebacker John Beason again due to injury. How that is Cam’s fault I don’t know. Cam has also taken heat because he sulks on the sideline after interceptions and hangs his head in losses. I cannot finds words that can adequately express my disbelief at this. In a league where most people play for that fat paycheck, we criticize a guy

for ACTUALLY caring? A guy who is genuinely upset if he under performs and hurts his team? A guy who cares about rewarding the fan base that drafted him first overall? Unbelievable. I would much rather have a Cam Newton on my team than a Sam Bradford, the Rams former number one overall pick who has shown he is nothing more than a slightly above average quarterback. I’ll take the guy with undeniable skill and ability who has a fire inside him to win and will work hard to achieve that. SUCCESS

2010 NFL Draft: Gerald McCoy Drafted third overall three years

William O’Brien ‘14

2011 NFL Draft: Cam Newton The fact that some could ever think of Cam Newton as a bust is mind boggling. Drafted number one overall by the Panthers last year, Cam Newton set rookie records for passing (beating PEYTON MANNING’S record) while rushing for a league record amount of touchdowns for a quarterback on his way to a pro bowl in his rookie season. Cam had the best individual season for any rookie quarterback ever. This year

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Opinion & Enterta “It’s going to be Legen... wait for it.... Dary!!!” -Barney Stinson TV to Watch

By Patrick Lindmark ‘13

The Walking Dead-

The Walking Dead entered its third season this year on AMC. The Walking Dead is about a group of people trying to survive a zombie apocalypse. The show features a number of zombie action scenes but also an excellent story that draws the viewer in. I would recommend this show to any fans of action, drama, or good television.

How I Met Your Mother-

As Ted, Marshall, Lily, Robin, and Barney enter their eighth season, the plot is beginning to thicken. For those who don’t watch the show, it is a comedy about five twenty-somethings in New York City. The title of the show comes from the main character Ted’s search for love, and Ted occasionally narrates the story to his future children. How I Met Your Mother is a great show and I would recommend it to someone looking for a comedy show.

Parks and Recreation-

When Parks and Recreation first came out I was not a big fan. But after giving it another try last year, I was hooked. The show, which is in its fifth season, is about an aspiring politician, Leslie Knope (played by Amy Pohler), and her experiences in the local government of Pawnee, Indiana. The show is slightly political, but not very serious and always funny. The show also features cameos from famous politicians, such as Joe Biden. I would recommend this show to anybody, as there is a kind of comedy for everybody in this show.

Skyfall Review

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he latest James Bond movie breaks the series recent subpar trend, and it’s actually really good. The great thing about this film is that it manages to make callbacks to the old Sean Connery stuff while not attempting to piggyback off of it. It plays out really well, and is probably the best bond film in the last few years. The problem for James Bond movies seems to be that they aren’t judged on their own merit, but as compared the other movies. And as the 23rd film in the franchise, there’s a lot to compare

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By Tripp Miller ‘16

against. But this is really unfair to the movie, because though it’s good, Skyfall will never be Goldfinger. Skyfall’s theme was done by Adele, and Goldfinger’s was done by Jimmy Page. (If anyone tries to compare those two, we’ll have a problem.) But this movie manages to break free of this issue, and I think it could stand on it’s own even without the franchises name. This movie is the usual James Bond formula: a ruthless villain, international conspiracy, and (of course) attractive female

companions. Formulaic, but what a formula. Daniel Craig is a great Bond, but he’s had stuff like Casino Royal, which hurts his standing in the long list of former Bonds. The only criticism I can offer is that the villain doesn’t seem as evil and cunning as he seems clinically insane. Other than that, it’s a really good movie, probably the best

How i met your mother- Mondays 8/7c

Bond in a while. Definitively worth the ten dollars for the ticket.


Opinion & Enterta Michael’s Vexations Blog: Black Friday... I Mean PE

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bsolutely nothing about Black Friday vexes me. I’m all about great deals and if you want to go waste your time on an offday in a department store that’s cool with me. Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way I can get to the real meat of this article namely Priory’s superb PE program. Lifting weights with their muscles is not a hobby for these athletes it is a way of life, a religion that must be treated with respect and with a creed which they must follow. The athletes warm up by first rubbing themselves down with olive oil so that light reflects off them. Once they have completed this they go through a series of dynamic stretches to get loosened up as

By Michael Herman ‘14

they all talk in Eastern European accents to emulate the great father of their “religion” Führer Arnold Schwarzenegger. Young aspiring power lifter Bryan Mulquenny explained to me that he hasn’t had a carb since 2004 and simply eats red meat and baby chinchillas. He told me that sometimes after lifting he will be so pumped up he’ll go home and jump on a box of toaster strudels until they are nothing but cardboard and jelly. “It’s a great cardiovascular workout and it calms my nerves” said Bryan in a press conference last week. When asked about how power lifting has changed his life he told this reporter that he sometimes finds himself doing push-

ups in front of Bed Bath & Beyond just so women will come up to him and ask him about his muscles. “The weight room is like a second home to me” said starting Junior power lifter William O’Brien as he unfolded the conundrum that is weight lifting. He proclaimed that one thing he really enjoys about weight lifting is that during practices he can go in and yell at “scrubs” for having poor lifting form. He later described walking up to one of these so called “scrubs” and fixing his form even though it was close to flawless. “It really makes me feel better about myself when I can belittle someone just by telling them they have the worst form I

have ever seen in my life”. What O’Brien says he enjoys most of all about lifting is the science behind it. “No matter how many times I lift weights the displacement is always zero and I find that to be so interesting.” O’Brien can be seen at all times of the day in the weight room lifting weights then immediately measuring their displacement. “It really frightens me that it is always the same but that is just one of the exciting things about our sport”. The squad practices and has games every day after so it’s really your own fault if you choose to miss such a beautiful sport in action.

True Meaning of Christmas

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he jingling of bells, the falling of snow, the coming of a jolly fat man we affectionately call Santa Claus, the smell of gingerbread baking in the oven, the giving of presents: All of these are things that people associate with Christmas. Yet none of these relate in any way to the true meaning of Christmas. Although unrelated to Jesus’ birth in any way, I am all for this so-called “commercialization” of Christmas. This commercial-

By Thomas Burton ‘13

ization should not alienate Catholics in any way. Instead, Catholics should be thrilled that Christmas has become something that everyone can join in celebrating. People of all religions can look forward to going to bed on Christmas Eve knowing that Santa Claus will have visited them by the next morning. Catholics and Buddhists can celebrate the same holiday, even if it may have different meanings for them. In my opinion, any-

thing that unites us as a people is certainly a good thing. In fact, if it suits them best, Catholics can think of Christmas as two separate holidays-- one religious, and one commercial-- but both great. To find out other people’s opinions, I decided to ask the views of both the Wyatt’s in the senior class. Wyatt “ Tippy” Gale says he

thinks the commercialization of Christmas “is glorious,” citing his love for presents. Meanwhile, Wyatt Gill has a differing opinion. “It sucks. Christmas should be about joy and spreading goodwill, rather than getting the biggest present or throwing the biggest party.” To which Wyatt Gale replied: “I’m right, you’re wrong.” Case closed.

Check out how the varsity teams fare on stlhighschoolsports.com

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Puzzles Across

1. Piques 6. Twofold 10. Adhesive strip 14. A nine-piece musical group 15. Feudal worker 16. Listen 17. Academy award 18. Wagers 19. Colored part of an eye 20. Sermon on the Mount 22. Pepper 23. Holiday drink 24. A common green newt 26. Optical illusion 30. Prison-related 32. Enlighten 33. Presumptuously daring 37. Not hard 38. Malodorous

31. Twin sister of Ares 33. Accomplishment 34. Sheltered spot 35. Writing fluids 36. In order to prevent 38. Insincere praise 41. P 42. Captive 44. Adult male 45. He “harvests” ores 46. Sea 47. Oxygen and helium, for example 48. Brood 50. Diva’s solo 51. Stone 52. Test 53. Arm or leg 54. Disabled 55. Winglike

39. Sphere 40. Arm joint 41. A dish of tomatoes and greens 42. Courtesan 44. Hole-making tool 45. Bay window 46. Burn slowly 50. A garment 52. Daisylike bloom 54. Wood chopping tool 55. It ebbs and flows 56. Number of people present 58. Poems 59. Calabash 60. Frozen 61. Flippant 62. Sea eagles 63. Depend

32. Former Italian currency 33. Decorate with needlework 34. Counter 37. Blackthorn 38. Autumn 40. Send forth 41. Epee or saber 43. Apprehend 44. Restitution 46. Cubic meter 47. Polka or samba 48. Surpass 49. Slender 50. Cease 51. Conceal 53. Render unconscious 56. How old you are 57. What we breathe

Across

1. Absent Without Leave 5. Chocolate substitute 10. Church alcove 14. Spouse 15. Pointed arch 16. Bawdy 17. Outdated 19. Boast 20. Frozen water 21. Not lower 22. Tearful 23. Ductile 25. Author Mark 27. Downwind 28. Reddish brown 31. Skirt fold 34. Synagogue scroll 35. Fury 36. Not stiff 37. Beauty parlor 38. Gladly

Down

1. Prig 39. A temple 2. Schnozzola 40. Insomniac 42. Wrecked ships 3. Ancient Peruvian 43. Prepared 44. Assault sexu- 4. Nipple 5. Sinewy ally 6. Remove errors 45. Sacred song from 47. Petrol 48. Flexible min- 7. Utilized 8. Initial wager eral 49. A lively whirl- 9. Diminished ing Italian dance 10. A very small amount 56. 1 1 1 1 11. Eagle’s nest 57. God of love 12. Applied to a 58. Lengthways 59. Kind of moss wall or canvas 60. Type of cereal 13. At one time (archaic) 21. grass 61. 3rd Greek letterFoot digit 25. Not good 62. Sea eagle 63. Wild Tibetan 26. Untidyness 27. False god oxen 64. Glowing rem- 28. Abundant 29. A delayed nant flavor sensation 30. Fall guy

Down

1. Expect 2. Cringe 3. Frequently 4. Floral necklace 5. Twosome 6. Slack-jawed 7. Liturgy 8. Subvert 9. What we sleep on 10. Even though 11. Appearing every year 12. Exchange 13. Jittery 18. Hushed 22. Clean 24. Smack 26. Withdraw gradually 28. Hue 29. Murres 30. Care for 31. Raindrop sound

Next Issue: Friday, december 21 submit today!


nion & Entertainment

t

Mitch’s Musical Madness By Mitch Van Bree ‘13

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Cold Rain – Talib Kweli

This one is for all you gangstas runnin’ in dat rap game. In all seriousness, Talib Kweli is a rapper who takes his craft very seriously. His songs deal with social issues and his lyrics are very poetic. I’m not a big rap fan, but this kind of rap (the kind with integrity) is refreshing. I chose this song because of the supa’ fly (rapper talk) time signature breaks throughout the song.

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2.

Ready to Start – Arcade Fire

Arcade Fire is definitely one of the more interesting bands around right now. They sport tons of instruments (violins, accordions, etc.), which create a very unique indie sound. Their lyrics also tend to deal with issues in a poetic fashion. Ready to Start has very good lyrics and music. The main riff of the song uses a half step note change, which is very dissonant but works really well with the song.

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LAUS TIBI

DOMINE

Wanted This man, believed to be propogating the recent “IHS” poster sightings, was last seen in Sophomore Theology. This “selfie” taken on the phone of Record undercover operative, Jacob Walburn.

december 2 first liturgical sunday of the year

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Volume XLIII - Issue 8