Slope Magazine Fall 2013

SLOPE

MAG

SLOPE FALL 2013

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LETTER EDITOR FROM THE

COVER PHOTO BY THUNDER POWELL

Dear Reader,

As my time as Editor in Chief draws to a close, I’m both happy that my picture won’t be in any more magazines and saddened that I won’t get to read firsthand these great articles. It’s been a year since I’ve stumbled into an amazing position and E-Board, and I am so happy to have had the pleasure of doing so. I decided that for my last outing as Editor, our theme would be Millennials, because well, WE ARE MILLENNIALS. Sure, the term is vague and can apply to many, but us college students are at the forefront, from the website Betches Love This, to dating online, our entire existence has changed since the generation before us. I for one am happy, I love thinking about the changes to come with such an empowered and unshaken generation at the helm of things. Nothing quite captures this as the talent evident in these pages. These writers are this generations movers and shakers, and an uplifting bunch to get together with every week. I leave my time as Editor with a deep connection to what was at the starting, a daunting organization, a place that has shaped my time at Cornell. As my senior year looms ever so widely over everything I do, I want to take this opportunity to thank you and all the Slopers for making me love Cornell as much as I do. I am confident that my successor will reflect this love and zeal with everything she does. Whether you’re reading this because the cover attracted you, or because you just love Slope, know that a piece of my Cornell experience rests in these pages, do with that what you will, just enjoy and let yourself figure out who you are!

Sincerely, Leela Chantrelle

STAFF

MAG EDITOR-IN-CHIEF LEELA CHANTRELLE CREATIVE DIRECTOR NICOLE HAMILTON LAYOUT HANNAH MCGOUGH, NICOLE HAMILTON, SYDNEY READE WRITERS SYDNEY READE, MARINA ZIEMIAN, YASMIN ALAMEDDINE, SOPHIA SCAZZERO, ASHLEY CHACON, LAUREN MASUR, ANNA RAVENELLE, CLAIRE BAUM, TAYLOR WONG

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BEYONCÉ:

Queen of the Millennials

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8 SELFAIERST&- 0 1 SM PHONES 11TINDER ONLIINNGE DAT AIM BETCHES 12 L OVE OLLY 3 1 M 14 15 A Love

Story

? t o N Y n o i t a r e n Ge Sydney Reade

It’s fitting that people ages 18 to 29 have been deemed The Millennial Generation, or Generation Y, because questions are all we hear (get it? Generation Why?).

“Why can’t you get a job?” “Why are you throwing away that $200,000 college education?” “Why are you so lazy?” “Why are you incapable of human contact that does not somehow involve technology as an intermediary?” Yeah, we’ve heard those a few hundred thousand times.

We get it; from the outside, we look pretty awful. We appear lazy, spoiled, and entitled. We’re materialistic, but thrifty; we want it all, and we want it all now, for free. We’re techno-gloms, helplessly dependent, and non-committal. We take a stab at traditionalism everywhere we can—in our politics, in our subversion of courtship culture, and in our disregard for the corporate ladder or authoritative institutions. From this perspective, we must be the most parasitic generation to ever exist. We just take, take, take without reinvesting in our own future.

Well…that may not be exactly true.

Before we get into a blame game, other generations should consider that they too have had their faults caused by the same general demographic characteristics with which Millennials are being labeled.

For one thing, we’re not the first to buck traditionalism—Free Love revolution and Woodstock, anyone? We’re also not responsible for the current state of affairs regarding climate change, impossibly high debt and taxes, broken social institutions, or the economy. We’re not to blame for these realities, but we may just be the generation that changes the status-quo.

Here are some facts that may attenuate

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those horrifying visions of the fate of the human race. Millennials are progressive on issues of race relations, gay marriage, and the extent of the government’s influence. This may scare those who are holding on to conservative values and traditionalist structures. But a willingness to accept change as mandated by popular opinion can only prove beneficial in creating future policies and structures that will help the whole, not just some sectors of the population.

After all, Millennials will be inhabiting the White House and Capitol Hill one day. Especially since we’ve grown up with a staunchly divided and largely flawed democracy, and with the expectation that Medicare and Social Security won’t be there for us, we’re less interested in fighting the rising tide of progressivism and more interested in figuring out solutions to the problems we’ve been left with.

We’re not anti-government—in fact, 76% of us intended to vote in the last presidential election, making us one of the most politically involved generations yet. But we do think our government should be “big on the what and small on the how” according to Eric Liu for Time magazine.

The government should come up with the platform ideas and the big issues, but leave the solutions to us. We’re pretty creative, since Millennials know how to

“bypass” and do things “sideways.” We’re good at figuring out how to get around the big institutions and finding solutions to our problems that fit us, out of necessity.

And this progressivism and creativity may be exactly what we need to break down the wall of partisanship in the government that is blocking real change from occurring.

It doesn’t always seem like we’re being proactive about our future in this way— after all, Millennials are so attached to computer screens, there’s no way they could possibly be in touch with the plight of their fellow humans, right? It’s true that we’ve grown up in technology’s fold. We’re an insanely networked bunch, connected to each other without ever actually being in physical contact. But this doesn’t mean

MILLE we’re insensitive to or unaware of other’s sufferings—in fact, it means the opposite. Ours more so than any other generation is volunteerism-centric. We physically give our time to charity organizations, doing hands-on work. We’re not gonna sit there in gowns and tuxedos at stuffy fundraisers to throw money at a charity. For one thing, we don’t have any money, and for another, we can kick-start or microfinance just about anything these days from the comfort of our living room. Does that make us lazy? No, it makes us efficient, and it means we’re considering how much our time is worth, and what we really want to do with it.

Let’s address this pervasive laziness label that seems to plague Millennials. Where did it come from? Is it because we’re slower to move out of the nest than other generations, or because we don’t necessarily have to get up and get out there to achieve what we want? The truth of the matter is, while it may appear like all we’re doing is hitting the refresh button on job sites and just waiting to hear back from employers instead of knocking down Wall Street’s doors, there aren’t a lot of jobs out there for us to find. A lot of them are part-time, and don’t pay enough for us to support ourselves. So a lot of young Millennials start their own companies, or try to find creative paths to following their passions in mildly lucrative ways, with the expectation that hard work and drive will eventually pay off in the future.

The polls say we have no sense of corporate loyalty—we’d love to give you our corporate loyalty, but no one is giving us the chance. So fulfillment through a life-long career isn’t an option for Millennials. According to Susan Adams for Forbes, 89% of us are being adversely affected by the economy and 32% are looking for a second job to make ends meet. This means that 84% of us are putting off major life decisions; 38% are delaying buying a home and 31% are delaying starting a family. We’re not putting off these things because we’re non-committal and lazy—we can’t achieve these major life goals without financial security. We’re also not against the institution of marriage—in fact, being good parents and having successful marriages are higher on our list of priorities than having a career, according to a Pew Research survey. But we can’t get married and have kids as young as previous generations did because we can’t afford to do so. How irresponsible would it be to enter into a union with another person and bring children into the world without the knowledge that we could adequately care for them? Especially when any money we do make goes to current expenses and paying off our college loans. Forget about 401(k)s and saving for our own kids’ college education. So that traditionalism that it looks like we’re subverting—we’re getting there, it’s just gonna take us a little while.

In light of these facts, truths, statistics…whatever we want to call them, I’d like to lobby for a paradigm shift. Instead of thinking of the next up-and-coming generation known as Millennials—the ones who are going to be running the stock market, Washington D.C., Silicon Valley, Wall Street, and the agricultural

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and social institutions that make the world go ‘round as soon as we get those job offers—as lazy, entitled parasites, start thinking of us as creators and innovators. Start thinking of us as the people who were handed a whole big mess and are tasked with the responsibility of untangling it. Start thinking of us as the people who, because we’ve grown up in such a tumultuous society not unlike that of past generations, are really good thinkers, are really passionate about issues that affect enormous sectors of society, and who have the drive to make real changes because we’ve seen what works and what doesn’t. Start thinking of us as Generation Y Not. If there’s anything that can be gleaned from this, know that we are always making choices based on the realities. What looks like laziness might actually be our hesitance and uncertainty—wouldn’t you be if you were faced with the world we’re coming into?

Millennials; we’re more racially diverse, less religious, more confident, self-expressive, liberal, and open-to-change than anyone before us. We’re highly educated, highly connected, and somewhat egotistical. But we think family is very important, we’re aware of technology’s positive and negative cultural impacts, and thus know how to use it to our advantage. We think we’re fabulously unique based on our pop culture, style, and politics, and maybe that makes us narcissistic. But our self-esteem has to be high, because we have to believe in ourselves. If we don’t, no one else will, but we just may be the saving grace of this country if we’re given a chance.

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Destiny’s Child Beyonce infiltrated our lives at a young impressionable age.

Even if you didn’t listen to Destinys Child then you knew who they were. Beyoncé, Kelly, and Michelle were our role models at age 9. I had never heard a Destiny’s Child song, yet I had a DC keychain on my backpack for everyone to see and be jealous of. Because of their valuable teachings we know that we need a soldier, and for the love of all things holy he better say my name.

Her vocal talent In our defense we are bowing down to someone with actual vocal talent. She has won 17 Grammy Awards. Unlike countless pop starts today, she is actually good at singing. YouTube it (a good one is a video of her singing in her dressing room), the girl CAN sing, even a cappella. This is something that is very underappreciated in today’s day and age, and another reason why we can’t get enough.

Role Model Beyoncé is a woman that young and impressionable women can actually relate to…well almost. Oh I know she is sexy, but Beyoncé is empowered by her sexuality, not trying to exploit herself (cough cough Miley). She embraces who she is and promotes others to do that as well. According to Drake, “Beyoncé is the voice of all females in life”. Well no one can really compete with that well-versed statement, and our generation doesn’t question it.

She is everywhere Everywhere. Oh we have a new president? Beyoncé is there. Super bowl? Hey Beyoncé. Turn on the TV? Hello Beyonce’s Pepsi ads, fragrance commercials, or HBO documentary. Go to any bus stations? Man I wish my body looked like those H&M ads.

Need a magazine? She has been on the cover of them all. (Vogue, GQ, Rolling Stone, all this year) How can we not be entranced by someone we see everywhere we go? She’s always there for us.

Blue Ivy I mean she named her kid Blue Ivy. Blue ….Ivy... And barely any one questioned her. Because she is the queen. It was ok. Don’t even worry about it. Anyway her baby is adorable, and the way they have shielded her so much from the paparazzi is commendable. Blue is in on the game, making her mother more appealing to us all.

Work Ethic She works hard. She is constantly touring and doing new albums and projects. In her documentary you actually get a taste how much she has to do to prepare for all of these projects that she is constantly involved in. It’s not all as glamorous as she makes it look.

She’s nice and scandal free Although this is starting to sound like a middle school president campaign, Beyoncé actually appears to be a good person. Beyoncé has also been involved in countless philanthropic campaigns, both contributing as well as founding some (Survivor Foundation after Hurricane Katrina). She is also very well spoken in interviews. We all remember how she had Taylor Swift come back on stage to let her accept her award. Many celebrities have been quoted singing her praises. Stevie Nicks recently said “Beyoncé’s great. She’s got her alter ego [Sasha Fierce], but Beyoncé the girl, the woman, is very sweet and nice and polite. She’s a good role model.” She makes us want to be better people.

Beyoncé + Jay-Z- the power couple Of course two is better than one and what is better than a successful celebrity relationship? Well, Beyoncé and Jay Z have just that . Literally the only famous couple I can think of that haven’t been rocked by scandal, continuously support each other, appear on each others records and projects constantly, while still both being immensely successful. What a partnership. If you are having a bad day Google “Pictures of Beyonce and Jay-Z smiling at each other”, true love does exist. Our generation needs love to look up to, and they find it in Bey and Jay. Music Videos Pure Awesome. She has inspired multiple new dance crazes and styles with her incredibly done music videos. Hello Single Ladies. She is also involved in the creative production of all of these videos. And sorry haters, Kanye was right. Single ladies was the best music video of the year.

She’s Human Although above I have given countless reasons she seems to be like superman, but she isn’t. She’s human. She cares about her work and some of her songs are deeper than you think. “Even the silliest things you can

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showed The female funny bones of TV comedy that Millennials anything is possible.

And anything goes.

Yasmin Alameddine

It has been said time and time again that “women aren’t funny.” While every woman out there with an ounce of sensibility has always known this not to be true, it is hard to argue with years of historical sketches, movies, and comedians which are dominantly male. But luckily our generation has provided a new breed of women, and not just one or two, but hundreds of hilarious women comediennes and actresses have finally come out. They not only have been celebrated among women, but are starring in sketch comedy shows, creating their own comedy television shows, starring in comedic movies, and winning hundreds of accolades because of it. Thanks to great women like Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Kristen Wiig, and Mindy Kaling, us millennial girls don’t have to hesitate when asked “ya? Tell me an example of a girl being funny,” instead we can pull out a laundry list in a blink of an eye.

Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, are arguably the comedy queens of our generation.

Everyone from your racist uncle “Ya, that Poehler I guess she’s can do a decent accent,” to your clueless mother, “That woman who looks like Sarah Palin? She’s hilarious” has something positive to say about them both. And it’s hard not to, from years of working together on the Groundlings, to infamous skits like Hilary Clinton vs. Sarah Palin on Saturday Night Live, to Regina George’s “fun” mother and drug pusher Ms. Norbury in Tina’s hit movie Mean Girls, to them costarring in the movie Baby Mama (and hilarious bloopers) to the whole world swooning over them hosting the Golden Globes. Tina and Amy not only demonstrate that two women can be funny successful comediennes with a happy family life, but they also finally show us a healthy, non-competitive female friendship.

If Tina and Amy are the comedy queens, then Kristen Wiig is surely the quirky princess. Kristen is most wellknown for starring in the movie Bridesmaids, which she co-wrote with Annie Mumolo. This film’s quotable, insane scenes feature witty dialogue and garish humor, while introducing us to a whole slew of strong female comics like Melissa McCarthy, Ellie Kemper, Rosie Byrne and Maya Rudolph. Aside from the fact that the film was a box office hit and received many Golden Globe and Academy Awards, the film’s biggest success was that it was inducted into hundreds of millenials “girls night in” film movie choices, being among the company of all-time classics like Mean Girls, Clueless and The Parent Trap.

Others may know Kristen from her 7 years at Saturday Night Live. Although the show has hundreds of talented comedians, no woman has ever had so many successful, recurring characters as Kristen. From the slow moving erratic Target Girl, to the overly excited surprise party giver, the strange school girl Gilly, to Gat’s infamous

“Tina & Amy [...] finally show us a healthy, noncompetitive female friendship.”

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folk singing partner Kat, Kristen captured the subtle, nuances of psychos perfectly with each character. Any millennial who has watched Kristen Wiig in skit or movie, holds Kristen in a special place in their hearts. Kristen is the fun best friend we’ve always wanted to have, and the witty confident girl we still strive to be.

And who could fit a role better than the newly married in comedy dutchess Mindy Kaling. Mindy, the most recent of the comedienne royalty, has arguably been in the background for a while now, screenwriting for our favorite comedy shows from The Office to Parks and Recreation. Finally, last year Mindy was able to write and star in her own extremely smart and outright funny show The Mindy Project. In only two seasons Mindy has pulled off what many comedic shows cannot pull off in 10; loveable but deep characters, quick-witted lines, and hilarious guest roles. Most of all, she’s shown that she can be the first East Asian female as the main character of her own show, without shoving clichés about race and gender equality down our throats.

This is probably because she manages to balance the conflicting qualities many females aspire to possess. She plays hilarious but not overly weird, gorgeous but not intimidating, hardworking but not overbearing women.

These comedic geniuses aren’t just great because they are funny, but because they challenge many female stereotypes that millennial girls have to face everyday. Tina Fey and Amy Poehler are career driven women, without being cold; and are independently funny without being competitive. Kristen Wiig is really goofy, without being overtly strange; and is stunning, without losing her personality. Mindy Kaling is girly, without being an airhead; and is an ethnic role model without being pedantic. And together they challenge the most insulting of female stereotypes of all not by telling, but by proving to the world that women are funny. We as millennial females should be glad that Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Kristen Wiig, and Mindy Kaling are the harbingers of refreshing, down to earth, positive female role models for our generation, and, hopefully, for generations to come.

“In only two seasons Mindy has pulled off what many comedic shows cannot pull off in 10; loveable but deep characters, quick-witted lines, and hilarious guest roles.”

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SUNDAY WITH MILLENNIALS! Sophia Scazzero

The term“selfie” has become a groan-worthy word over the past few years. I myself can’t even be sure when it started, but I believe that some middle schooler one day thought that taking a picture of themselves in their bathroom mirror would be totally rad for their MySpace profile, and it snowballed from there. And

now here we are, with people Instagramming pictures of themselves for the sole purpose of participating in “#selfiesunday.”

And now there exists an app so people can send and take as many selfies as their heart desires. What’s the app? Snapchat?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not knocking the selfie. It’s one of those things that is accepted in society, yet it’s cool to look down on it too. But who doesn’t love weird and inexplicable snapshots of their friends showing up on their phone?

Now some might think of the idea of the “selfie” as a new trend that exhibits the Millennial generation’s obsession with themselves and craving as many “likes” as possible to fuel their vanity. However, if you think about it, selfies have been around for ages, technology has just enhanced them. All those portraits of kings and queens since the middle ages? Selfies. They literally paid professional and well-renowned artists enormous sums of money and sat for countless hours just to get one image of themselves to hang in their own homes. So in actuality, it could be argued that our generation is in fact not any more vain than those even centuries before us, technology has just made our vanity more visible.

GOT A SMARTPHONE? YOU NEED THESE APPS Ashley Chacon

For years now, the smartphone craze has been affecting young people throughout the U.S. According to a study conducted by Pew Research in 2012, 44% of U.S. adults own a smartphone. Considering cell phones were made popular within the last few decades, the fact that smartphones even exist is remarkable.

This intrigue in the cellular technology has especially affected adolescents and young people.

A look around the campus will confirm this statement.

People use smartphones to check email, go on the internet, play games, text message, and maybe even make a phone call or two. Although smartphones were once used as a status symbol for “important” businessmen, the smartphone has become very common among young people today.

In fact, it’s hard to be a college student without a smartphone, both for convenience and social purposes. So many of our day to day functions depend on smartphones. So for all of you out there that own them, I’ve listed the 5 must have apps on your phone to survive Cornell.

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1.

Facebook/Twitter/Instagram/Snapchat Okay so admittedly, this is more than one app, but social media is extremely important on a college campus in order to stay in touch with friends back home, and see what’s happening on campus. And who doesn’t want to be caught on the bus making a silly snapchat face?

2. Ride14850 If you don’t have a car on campus, this app is very useful. While not perfect, it lets you know the TCAT bus schedule, wh ich can be very convenient when it’s freezing cold and you don’t want to walk to class, or when it’s late out and you don’t want to walk alone.

3. Google Maps For those of you who do drive, this app makes life considerably easier when trying to find the Farmer’s Market for the first time, or even the mall for the first time. Even if you don’t drive, this app makes it easier to navigate around Collegetown when you just aren’t quite sure where Blair or Catherine Street is.

4. GroupMe This app makes group projects, floor dinners, and going out that much easier. How does it work? Well someone with a smartphone makes the group then adds all of the members. Then he or she sends a message to start the conversation. Both smartphones and basic phones receive messages from this app so everyone in the group is able to engage in the conversation. If it ever gets to be too annoying, you can always leave the group, then add yourself right back in.

5. Find iPhone Lost your iPhone? No problem (sort of ). With this app, if you misplace your iPhone, all you have to do is access the app from your iCloud on a different product. The app then lets you know the last/current location the app tracked the phone at. The catch is, you have to have data on for it to work so if you turned your data off, and there’s no Wifi, it won’t do you much good.

This is just a short description of each app. Many of them have other cool features you can discover once you download them. They’re also all free so there’s nothing to lose!

A LOVE STORY Lauren Masur

Cast aside any preconceived notions that you may have about Tinder. It’s just for sex. It’s shallow. It’s sketchy. Random hook-ups. Creepers. Why can’t you put your phone down and just go to a party?

Is it all out? Good. For those not in Generation Y, Tinder is a Smartphone app that matches up mutually attracted and interested singles within a self-selected distance radius based on three photos and a 140-character bio.

The creators of Tinder’s true intentions for the proper use of the app are pretty ambiguous. Users can swipe right or left (yeah or nope) and after a just few minutes might end up with a whole slew of equally interested suitors. Tinder Vice President Whitney Wolfe, recently asserted to the editors at Elle that,” we don’t call Tinder a dating app. We don’t call it anything. We are creating connections that the users get to define.”

And define them they may, most of the app’s target demographic, men and women ages 18 – 35, would say that “Tindering” is a mindless pastime or that “socially swiping” (groups of friends Tindering together for fun) is actually an interactive thing. Others think that Tinder is merely a vehicle that enables superficiality, bad pickup lines, and one-night stands. But here’s the story of Cornell senior, Ashley and Ben’s* summer romance, a success story that might just convince you that Tinder could very well be more than just a sketchy hook-up app.

It all started with a summer internship in the not-quite-so young and happening city of Annapolis, Maryland— “a really beautiful place but not much to do there, especially with a roommate who was under 21 at the time,” says Ashley. Kayla*, her friend who also spent the summer in

Annapolis was a tad harsher: “It was desolate.” So what’s a girl to do? Join Tinder of course.

At the start of her Tinder career, Ashley was a social swiper, after a friend visited her for the weekend and Tindering together became their default amusement of choice. The swiping became nearly as addicting as Candy Crush, so she never stopped. “It’s a match!” The following Wednesday, Ashley got that same notification that she had received countless

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times since downloading the app, but this time, she took more than a second look.

“We talked the entire day non-stop and really hit it off—I obviously was hard at work (oops.)” Ashley recounted the witty banter that ensued between she and Ben, a 23-year-old grad student also spending the summer in Annapolis. “We talked about traveling because most of my pictures were from my abroad experience, and he could literally guess every place that I had been. We realized we had a ton of similarities and our personalities really just clicked.” By the end of the day Ben had asked Ashley out for drinks the following night. “At first I was like, uhhhh meeting up with a rando?” A little red flag went off, “but I decided what did I have

to lose? I would drive myself there so if he was weird or if I felt uncomfortable I could just leave.”

After more talking, drinks turned into dinner, and upon the first meeting, Ashley realized there was no need to be nervous. “When I met up with him he was such a sweetheart, as just as cute as I thought but a lot taller, around 6’ 5. Everything with him was super comfortable and relaxed.”

Kayla interjects, “he was basically the coolest guy in the world. He had just lost some weight so we was cute but didn’t know he was cute? You know? Basically the best kind of cute. And he was such a gentleman.”

“Right, he was definitely a gentleman,” she continued. Things didn’t get physical right away (contrary to Tinder’s reputation), and Ashley and Ben spent weeks enjoying each other’s company with dinners, drinks, movies, even talking when they weren’t with each other. “For his birthday we went to dinner, which at first was like, I just met you and now I’m celebrating your birthday with you? But everything with him was like that, almost like this should be weird but wasn’t.”

As most good things do, the summer came to an end. But Ashley is reasonable about it. “I met him when I only had a few weeks left in Annapolis so what we had, we both knew was a fling. He was going to Amsterdam to finish his last year of grad school there, so we knew it wouldn’t go any further than this summer. But we left it as this: we really get along and like each other’s company, so who knows what’s going to happen in the future? He thinks he might be in D.C. when he graduates in May and I’m looking at D.C. or New York so really, who knows. I know that I had a lot of fun, met a really cool guy, and had a more exciting summer than I thought possible.”

Whether you agree with Ashley that it was a summer fling or with Kayla who would gush that it was meant to be, either way the experience is a Tinder anomaly. Ashley is fully aware of the rarity of her situation. “Trust me there are some MAJOR WEIRDOS out there, but I guess I had such a great experience with the app that I think it is what you make of it. Tinder can be creepy and disrespectful, especially basing a relationship off of three pictures, but if you are looking for something more, than I think it can be something more.”

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In all honesty, when’s the last time you met someone cute and didn’t study their Facebook like they were your next prelim?

Last month? Last week? Yesterday? These days, all dating is “online dating” because everything we do is uploaded and shared to hundreds of our closest friends (and sometimes thousands of theirs) – from photos to locations to stories of inebriated adventures, it’s all out there. Older generations lecture us about the dangers of our public lifestyles, because future employers won’t hire us and grad schools won’t accept us – which is true, to an extent – but the bigger danger is that living online has made us cowards.

Rare are the days where face-to-face contact is the first step to romantic affairs. Courtships begin primarily through Facebook and the likes: Twitter, Instagram, even Tumblr are more likely to fire up a love connection than speaking in person because it’s so much easier to flirt online. Responses are delayed, there’s no body language involved, and intentions are easily defined with the ubiquitous winky face. Besides, we can explain away online rejection – “oh, he must be busy,” “she probably just didn’t see my message” – but if someone stands us up for coffee, there’s no denying we got screwed over.

Few of us millennials have experienced “true” dating – dating without this technological component, the dating we grew up watching on shows like “Friends” and “Gilmore Girls.” In fact, sixty percent of people surveyed by Pew Research Center stated they believed the internet was a good way to meet people, but fifty percent of online daters said “someone else seriously misrepresented themselves in their profile.” Well, if you’re going to meet future conquests through Facebook or Twitter, you might as well do it right. To avoid this problem with people you (and your friends) haven’t met, follow these three tips: 1. Avoid them if they only have old or close-cropped face pictures.

This only matters if you care about looks – but take it from Matt and Kim of MTV’s “Catfish.” Refusing to meet after months of flirty banter eventually lead to the revelation that Matt’s photos were years old and he had since gained hundreds of pounds.

Matt’s since lost over 200 lbs., and apparently they’re very happy, so maybe your online cutie would too?! (Don’t count on it). Also, if their picture is of a car or an animal, they may still be twelveyears-old, so watch out.

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2. Or if they still make frequent statuses.

In the days where Facebook is only good for sharing pictures and the occasional group message, anyone who posts more than a couple statuses a week is bound to be completely obnoxious in real life: do not engage. N/A for Twitter.

3. Don’t stalk them – not completely.

Someone can only misrepresent themselves when you’ve finally met if you know a ridiculous amount about them from their profile – which, let’s be honest, is hard to avoid. Steel yourself, and (wo)man up. Which is more fun, learning your birthdays are only a few days apart when joking about it over coffee, or finding that information when you scrolled through their page then having to act surprised about it later? Check their basic stats but don’t go overboard on searching through likes and preferences for commonalities. If it’s meant to be, those’ll come out eventually. Besides, they’ll probably be confused when you mention upon greeting that you too like Imagine Dragons, “Lord of the Rings,” and the amusement park in their hometown – which just so happens to be on the other side of the country.

“Catfish.” cat·fish. noun. \kat-fish\ Someone who pretends to be someone they are not on the internet, most often to pursue romance.

The term “Catfish” was popularized by Nev Schulman in his 2010 documentary Catfish and subsequent TV show of the same name.

It’s the millennial version of Dateline’s “To Catch a Predator” but the consequences are way less terrifying. Usually, the person suspected of being the catfish reveals themselves by the end of the episode to be someone else than they were presented as. This could include a different gender or appearance, but after this happens, there’s typically no lasting harm to the victim. Just a hurt psyche and utter confusion.

Occasionally there’s success: Lauren Meler and Derek Shullenbarger of the show’s second season met face-to-face after eight years of online dating and are now engaged. But let’s be real: nine times out of ten, your hottie will end up a nottie and you’ll be SOL.

When you hear the word “AIM” around campus, you probably think, “oh, applied economics and management.” This, however, represents a significant shift from the millennial days back in 2006 when 52% of North American messages were sent through the “original” AIM, AOL Instant Messenger.

...Gone, too, are the days when our after-school routine consisted of getting a ride home, making ourselves a snack and then heading to our home computers ( i.e. some old grey-box dell that rested on a desk in the family room) to sign onto AIM and chat with the friends whose lives we’d desperately missed out on in the past 30 minutes.

These were the days when phone calls “just to say hi” were normal occurrences and cutting off from communication seemed far less daunting.

Lets also not forget those wonderful chat robots, like our pal SmarterChild, who was, in fact, not smarter than the twelve year-old version of yourself who sent her messages. SmarterChild took over for the one and only ZolaOnAol who apparently decided to take an early retirement.

Spleak and its many forms (CelebSpleak, SportSpleak, VoteSpleak, TVSpleak, GameSpleak, and StyleSpleak) served as forms of news and entertainment update long before twitter emerged and began to dominate this realm.

“

There was even a website, ebuddy.com, that allowed access to AIM without the need to download the application for those good ol’ days when everyone IMed just to say hi.

For an innovation that impacted our daily lives so significantly, AIM met a quick and short demise.

Despite efforts to integrate the application into Facebook’s messaging framework, AIM has quietly, but rather quickly, dwindled into virtual nonexistence.

Facebook messaging and text messages now serve as top messaging platforms in North America. Americans now send an average of over 170 billion text messages per month, a level that has even become a national concern due to climbing incidents of texting while driving.

The context, content and method of messaging has changed dramatically since the 2000s in a way so significant that it shapes our everyday lives and causes us to reminisce on our simpler millennial days.

These were the days when phone calls “just to say hi” were normal occurrences and cutting off from communication seemed far less daunting.

”

A

: W O M I N&N THE um

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Clair

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Lauren Masur

If you fall in between the ages of 18 to 25 and haven’t heard of the website Betches Love This, then you might live under a rock. The popular site amongst twenty-something’s was born in the cozy bubble of Ithaca, NY in February of 2011 and essentially invented what exactly it means to be a “betch.”

Samantha Fishbein, one of the three masterminds behind the site along with Jordana Abraham and Aleen Kuperman (Cornell sorority sisters and class of 2011 graduates) told us how they came up with the idea for Betches.

“ We wanted

the word to connote power and

confidence

but not sound like a ‘bitch.’

”

“We actually created the website on something of a whim at the time, and we saw it as a reaction to the “bro” culture that was very popular when we were in college. There were icons for guys like Tucker Max but never any female equivalent, so we felt there was definitely a space and demand for racy humor oriented toward twenty-something girls.”

So why betch? “We wanted the word to connote power and confidence but not sound like a ‘bitch.’”

If you’d identify yourself as a betch, pride yourself on mirroring the antics condoned or condemned by The Betches, and worship the “Betch List” as if it were The Bible, then you’re doing it wrong. If there’s one Betches post you should probably take some notes on, its #123 Hating People Who TTH (try too hard).

Samantha Fishbein lamented this growing population of betch-wannabes who are a little too slow on the uptake to realize that the site is meant to be taken with a grain of salt.

“Tons of people take the site too seriously or don’t understand that it’s purposely exaggerated to be funny. Just

check the comments section for some serious insanity.”

We asked the Head Betches themselves if any of their snarky, brutally honest and

of people “ Tons take the site too seriously or don’t understand that it’s

purposely exaggerated to be funny.

”

just plain betch-y advice should be taken seriously, and the Betches have spoken.

“The concept of the ‘betch’ is supposed to be a satire. As much as the betches reveal our generation’s values, the point of the website is to poke fun at our more materialistic and narcissistic side and say what a lot of people are thinking but are too afraid to say aloud.”

Well, there you have it.

So what exactly are the Betches trying to say about us that everyone’s afraid to admit?

We are materialistic: Scrolling through the Betch List you’ll find reasons why betches just “love” extravagant spring breaks, spending their daddy’s money, and are willing to pay $4 for (black) iced coffee.

We aim for impossible beauty standards: The other day the Betches Instagramed a photo of an empty plate captioned “dinner.”

We are competitive: The first Betch List post ever is #1 Talking Shit. A betch likes to put other’s down, and generally talk badly about others. If there is anyone the betches hate, it’s “nice girls,” like Anne Hathaway.

We are empowered (in a strange, twisted way): #32 Winning sums it up, a betch’s “ultimate mechanism for power and control.” Betches know how to get what they want, and as Machiavellian as the Betches make it seem, we have the power to do so.

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MOLLY Taylor Wong

Molly (n): f o m r o f e r u p MDMA (ecstasy)

Molly NOT this same e ecsta as sy

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There’s no doubt that electronic music is on the rise today. As a direct result of electronic music’s prominent mainstream growth, there has also been an increase in attendance and popularity of EDM (electronic dance music) festivals. These festivals attract huge crowds, and while some concertgoers choose to enjoy and attend these events sober, many do not. There is some drinking that occurs, but by far the most commonly used forms of narcotics are ecstasy and molly. Ecstasy and molly are both substances that contain MDMA (which earn them them name “MDMA”), a potent drug that increases neurotransmissions in the brain that leads to extreme euphoria and boosted energy levels. The main difference between the two is form; molly comes in powder or crystal form, and ecstasy normally comes in packaged pills or capsules. However, it should be noted that both are often mixed with a dangerous concoction of other narcotics like caffeine and cocaine. Another difference is that molly is considered to be a more “pure” form of MDMA than ecstasy, and it often costs more to obtain.

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Dating back to the 90’s, MDMA has been popularly paired with electronic music. Maybe it’s due to the fact that MDMA warps one’s sense of time and sensory receptors, such as hearing and vision. Or maybe it’s because it tends to make people more open and allows for the freedom to embrace any fellow concert goer and not be rebuked. The extreme happiness that’s felt during the high might also be an attribute that attracts users. For whatever reason, MDMA is widely used and is continuing to be used at all major electronic music events across continents, despite its illegal status in many countries.

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With so many dangers associated with either molly or ecstasy, why do Millennials continue to take them with such careless disregard? The presence of these drugs is so prolific that it can even be felt here at events like 2012’s Avicii concert on Cornell’s campus.

Perhaps the increased use of molly and ecstasy speaks to our generation’s tendency to place more emphasis on living in the moment (the YOLO phase, anyone?) than long-term goals. It can also be attributed to the fact that Millennials are more confident, self-expressive, and liberal. Though it’s great that our generation is so open to new ways of living, I believe we should be more cognizant of how our current activities may impact our future lives.

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