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Slaney Entertainment
4 December 2012
www.slaneynews.com
99 Channels, Nothin’ On View From The
Nosebleeds To the Victor the Spoils We’ve all been looking for a scapegoat. Someone to hang the problems of the country onto around his grubby neck, but we have all been looking under the wrong rocks and crooks. We should have been looking to the South of America, Texas and to be geographically accurate Southfork Texas. JR Ewing. The original TV bastard. Here’s just a summarised list of his quotes: (To Sue Ellen): “Well, I’ll be damned if you can come in here any time you want and use me like a stud service!!” (To Lucy): “Why don’t you have that junior plastic surgeon you had build you a new face. One without a mouth!!” “Well Ray was never comfortable eating with the family. We do use knives and forks after all.” "The only thing that is screwed up in this office Barnes is your head, which I would be more than happy to serve on a silver platter if I weren't worried about my family getting food poisoning!" "Don't forgive and never forget; Do unto others before they do unto you; and third and most importantly, keep your eye on your friends, because your enemies will take care of themselves!" JR Ewing. As I said, the original TV bastard. And as I watched the reports of Larry Hagman’s death last week, I got to thinking. Dallas must have been stuck on repeat in Seanie Fitzpatrick’s house and the VCR must have been burnt out in Sean Quinns. You can just picture them as young
JR Ewing
upstarts watching JR. That’s for me ma, that’s the life. I’ll squeeze what I can out of the little folks and see where it gets me!! So, if you’re looking for a scapegoat, aim your eyes away from the Dail and aim them towards Southfork Texas. JR, you have a lot to answer for…..
Tache Up!! On a totally unrelated topic, we had a good night on the 23rd of November in Rackards Bar, Enniscorthy. Wasn’t just a session now, before you all start. We hosted our second annual Moustachioed Table Quiz for Movember. Now, first off we would like to thank Rackards and their great staff for the use of the hall and the food… and
the spot prizes!! Speaking of spot prizes, the following businesses kindly donated, Ziggy’s Hair Design, Turkuts, Crystal Script, MAD Restaurant, Brand U and anyone else that donated a prize, your help, time and effort were greatly appreciated. Technology was not on our side however and I had to shout as opposed to MC. Didn’t mind, I’m very loud without a microphone (apparently…..). At the time of writing, I am not aware of how much we raised in total, between the online donations, the quiz and the personal donations. If you check the facebook page, we’ll have the numbers up….. Thanks again Mo Bros and Sistas….. – Jamie Murphy
To celebrate their 40th year Enniscorthy Musical Society will mark To celebrate their 40th year Enniscorthy Musical Society will mark this special this Anniversary special Anniversary with a night of music and nostalgia. with a night of music and nostalgia.
“40 Years of Musicals”
“40 Years of Musicals” Sunday 16th December 2012. Riverside Park Hotel, Enniscorthy. 8pm. ir 40th year Enniscorthy Musical Society willTickets mark this!10 special - available on the door.
Sunday 16th December 2012. a night of music and nostalgia. Riverside Park Hotel, Enniscorthy. 8pm. “40 YearsEnniscorthy of Musicals”Musical Society presents “The Sound of Music”. The show will run Sunday 16th nightly December from2012. Tues €10 2nd – Fri 5th April ending with a matinee on Sat 6th April Tickets - available on the door. Riverside Park Hotel, Enniscorthy. 8pm. 2013. Details of auditions etc. will be available late December/early January.
Tickets !10 - available on the door.
Enniscorthy Musical Society presents “The Sound of Music”. ‘Like’ us on Facebook keep date with all of–ourFri news/events: ical Society The presentsshow “The Sound of Music”. The showtowill run up toTues will run nightly from 2nd 5th April ending s 2nd – Fri 5th April ending with a matinee on Sat 6th April auditions etc. will bea available late December/early with matinee on SatJanuary. 6th April 2013. Details of auditions etc. Facebook to keep up to date all of our news/events: willwithbe available late December/early January. ‘Like’ us on Facebook to keep up to date with all of our news/events
We’ve all been there. You’re full of turkey, spuds, ham, gravy, the begrudgingly eaten brussel sprout, followed by ice cream, sprinkles and the cup of tea or whiskey, depending on your preference. You sit down in your favourite chair, take out the TV Guide. You grumble and you say, “Same oul shite, Coronation Street, Eastenders, Fair f***in’ City, Strictly Dancing On Me Arse. F*** this, I’m turning on a dvd….”. Well, dear reader, sit down and relax the kecks. I am here to guide you through what I feel are the five perfect films to watch over the festive period. We start in a building, well a plaza to be more precise:
DIE HARD (1989) Woah, hold the pony there Murphy. Die Hard, a Christmas film? Are you high? No, I am not. Let’s weigh up the evidence here. First off, the film takes place over the FESTIVE PERIOD!!, a blinding clue to anyone with a pair of eyes. Another one occurs when McClane is coming through the airport, he’s carrying a giant teddy bear. Now, it’s never fully explained but one could safely say he’s bringing it home to his young daughter. I know crazy right. That poor German terrorist that gets it in the lift is left with a sly remark on his jumper, “Now I have a machine gun, ho-hoho.” W h e n M c C l a n e l u re s Gruber into a false sense of security near the film’s climax, he straps his weapon to his back using fun festive tape. Then as our hero, John and his put-upon wife, Bonnie, leave the Nakatomi Plaza, they are met with a lovely white blanket of Christmassy snow. To add to the festive cheer, as they are carted away on the back of what looks like a golf cart, Dean Martin’s velvet tones ease into ear shot and he croons, “Oh, the weather outside is frightful, but the fire is so delightful.. Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.” Die Hard, one of the best Christmas films ever, motherf***er! GREMLINS (1984) The first Gremlins film is a black comedy set against a Christmas time back drop. The plot revolves around Billy’s (Zach Gilligan) father searching for a Christmas present for his teenage son. He stumbles across a creature called a Mogwai in a small antiques shop in Chinatown. The owner of the store warns Billy’s father that owning one is too much responsibility and refuses to sell it to him. But the owner’s grandson sells the Mogwai saying the family needs the money. And
he gives him three rules for the Mogwai. Never expose it to light, never get it wet and never ever feed it after midnight. Gizmo gets accidentally wet when brought home and he produces five Gremlins. The most dominant is Stripe, who for some reason despises Gizmo. They go about rampaging the city and tearing up the place. The climax of the film takes place in a Montgomery Ward store and Gizmo lets up the blinds and this allows the light in that kills Stripe. The store owner returns to claim Gizmo claiming that the world is not ready for the Mogwai, a symbol for the over zealousness of the west to have material goods over the Christmas period per-
way, namely a wayward Christmas tree, lights that will not light despite best efforts, a family bout of hypothermia, warring in-laws and breaking the window of smug yuppie next door neighbours with a tree. Oh yea and Cousin Eddie, the greatest comic character ever created in my humble opinion. Take a bow Dennis Quaid, never has dog splatters been so funny. The family end up warring, Eddie and his hick family tear up the sewage and destroy the front lawn, the lights finally work and Clark gets his holiday bonus, thanks to Eddie driving across town and kidnapping his boss. Uncle Lewis throws a discarded cigar down a storm drain, igniting the methane gas leaked thanks
Cousin Eddie
haps? Could be, either way if you get one this Christmas, don’t let it get wet!! I N DIANA JON ES AN D TH E TEMPLE OF DOOM (1984) Ok, there’s no real Christmas signs, symbolism or indeed back stories in this film but if I don’t see it at Christmas I feel it is a waste of a Christmas Day. So there, and It’s A Wonderful Life doesn’t have Indiana Jones in it…. N AT I O N A L L A M P O O N ’ S CHRISTMAS VACATION (1989) Hey, there’s that guy that used to be really funny and in great films. What’s he at now, oh yea he’s quitting his show because he’s an arse. Ladies and gentlemen I give you Chevy Chase. The cornerstone of this popular franchise and he also made Fletch. I liked it. This is the third film in the Lampoon Series and was written by John Hughes. And it has the distinction of being my favourite one in the series. You know the story – Clark wants to give his family the perfect Christmas. But he keeps getting obstacles placed in his
to the sewage Eddie ripped up and blows a Santa decoration onto the lawn. The family stand around as Aunt Bethany sings the Star Spangled Banner and Clark realises he has got his perfect Christmas. A sweet, yet slightly mentally unhinged story…. Just what you need at Christmas! CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY (1971) This is for my money the only film to watch at Christmas. Think about it, songs, chocolate, a warm message about family and greed is not welcomed, it is punished, all the ingredients for festive cheer. I won’t bore you with the plot details as I’m sure you are all well aware at this stage. The film is fun, bright, sad in all the right places and leaves you walking away with a smile on your face and a warm heart. That could also be all the chocolate though… So there you go, a rundown of what I feel are perfect Christmas films. A very merry Christmas to you and yours! – Jamie Murphy