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AUGUST Charleston, SC



Take one last taste of summer this month. One last juicy bite of freedom before saying hello to carpools and pool closings, farewell to a

Friday frame of mind all week long. Wear your darkest movie star shades before the sun sets off on its world tour. Let homework hassles be a distant dream while you study the ice melting in your drink. Find a dive and rock the joint. Dance to the jukebox like the girl you used to be. Dress like Frida Kahlo under the Mexican sun. Postpone and procrastinate.

Practice being sultry. Surf your own couch through the perfect wave of a dappled green Sunday morning. Purr in a patch of fading sunlight. Befriend your freckles. May the grass kiss your bare feet with abandon before you have to buckle up and buckle down. Cover copy by Nikki Hardin, art by Traci Daberko

“When summer gathers up her robes of glory, And, like a dream, glides away.� Sarah Helen Whitman

T h e biggest little len der in S ou th Carolina.

Alicia Taylor, Jennifer Baughan Hill, Jeannette Immel

When it comes to your mortgage,


Alicia, Jennifer, & Jeannette do.

What do you get when you have a business you love, friends you love to work with, Alicia, Jennifer, and Jeannette Fulton Street Hair Company 1020 Chuck Dawley Blvd. Mount Pleasant 843. 388.2288 fultonstreet haircompany. com

and clients that make every day remarkable? Fulton Street Hair Company and its trio of stylists: Alicia Taylor, Jennifer Hill, and Jeannette Immel (owner). The trio have worked together for so long, all three say they feel more like family than coworkers—and all three love to laugh (and love reading skirt!). Considering the strong client relationships the salon has built over the years, they clearly have the formula for success down pat. “Doing what you love to do, having fun doing it, and make a living all at the same time? It’s a dream job.” All three women have used Lucey Mortgage for their home loans—Jeannette on her first and second home. “We all know that Lorcan is honest and ‘tells it like it is’!”


861 Coleman Boulevard, Mt. Pleasant, South Carolina 29464 •



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607 St. James Ave. Suite B Goose Creek, SC 29445

Get GlowinG with our specials

Botox & Dysport 20% Off Dr. Germain is the #1 Botox Injector in South Carolina! V-Beam Laser Treatment 15% Off Remove “Broken” Blood Vessels on Cheeks and Nose with V-Beam Laser Treatment Love Your Lashes! Latisse for only $75 with Purchase of any cosmetic product or service Buy 3 Silk Peels, get the 4th Peel Free!

Don’t let gravity bring you down…


a non-surgical ultrasound treatment for counteracting the effects of time and gravity on your skin. We are proud to be the first and only practice to offer this revolutionary FDA approved technology to South Carolina. Call today for a consultation to see if Ultherapy is right for you!

Get the Skinny on Coolsculpting ! 15% Off ®

This revolutionary procedure uses a precisely controlled cooling method to target, cool, and eliminate stubborn fat cells without damage to surrounding tissue. We are proud to be the first and most experienced practice to offer Coolsculpting to South Carolina. ®





Germain rx is now available throuGh our website. CheCk it out for more amazinG auGust speCials!! www.GermainDermatoloGY.Com ™

612 Seacoast Parkway | Mt. Pleasant, SC | 843.881.4440

Marguerite A. Germain, M.D. Voted “Best Dermatologist” seven years running!



More than a decade of experience and over 100,000 dedicated clients nationally. Pure Barre works. Why is there so much national press about Pure Barre? Come find out what Charleston is buzzing about: the most athletic, effective, and motivating of the barre techniques. All photos are Pure Barre clients, no models or airbrushing. Ever. It’s not just barre. It’s Pure Barre. next to Whole Foods | 919 houston northcutt blvd | | 843.606.0559 8


2180 Henry Tecklenburg Drive Charleston, SC

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Todd E. Schlesinger, MD, FAAD Board Certified in dermatology

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C H A R L E S T O N I-26E, Exit 213A or I-26W, Exit 213 Left on Montague Ave.,Right on Intl. Blvd., Right on Tanger Outlet Blvd. (843) 529-3095

7/18/12 11:33 AM

Personalized Attention. Advanced Technology. Brilliant Results. Dr.Tim Assey has been in practice for over 30 years. Drs.Tim and John Assey are currently the only restorative father and son dental practice in Mt. Pleasant.We want to welcome you to join our family, Mount Pleasant Cosmetic and Family Dentistry!


Our highest priority is to offer our patients a comfortable and positive dental experience. We will take the time to listen to our patients and help them meet their dental goals.We offer both family and cosmetic dentistry, and provide a wide variety of dental care.


John C. Assey, DMD


C. Timothy Assey, DMD 1041 Johnnie Dodds Blvd. #1 Mt. Pleasant, SC 29464

MEMBER OF: Academy of General Dentistry • American Dental Association • LVI • International College of Dentists • Spear Education Faculty Member | on

11:33 AM



Chan Luu

Ve l v e t Vince Seven for all mankind

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Take a break from the greens and come shop & sip with us. Resort “Bellinis� served every afternoon during PGA week August 6-12!


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Better Results. Comprehensive, State of the Art Vein Care



Thomas R. Wieters, M.D.

MeMber-AMericAn college



843•881•VEIN (8346) 1-800-VARICOSE 3070 Hwy. 17 North • Suite 202 • Mt. Pleasant, SC (located in the ivy hall medical complex)

The VNUS Closure Procedure is covered by over 285 insurance companies nationwide.





charleston’s premier adult store

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Lingerie Tia Lyn of New York, Allure, Baci, iCollection, René Rofé Toys Lelo, JimmyJane,WeVibe, Je Joue, Fun Factory, Icon, Fleshdrive, Bedroom Kandi, Papaya,Vibratex, NJoy, Evolved, OhMiBod, Fleshlight,Tantus,Toy Friend, Extase, Intensity, Bswish,Vixskin, Pipedream, Cal Exotic, Doc Johnson Shoes Pleaser and Ellie Furniture Liberator Boutique Accessories Kama Sutra, Sliquid, Pjur, Good Clean Love, Earthly Body, Swede, Booty Parlor, Uberlube, Intimate Organics, Swiss Navy, Shunga, JO and much, much more!! Largest selection of DVDs in town NEW RELEASES ARRIVING WEEKLY! Bachelorette party Supplies 2 9 9 2 A s h l e y P h o s p h at e R o a d | N o r t h C h a r l e s t o n , S C 8 4 3 . 76 7. 0 6 9 0 | Be a fan on

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Your Summer Spot SATURDAY NIGHT 1/2 OFF ON ALL for Great Food BOTTLES OF WINE and jOIN US BEFORE THE Live Music & THe blOwfISH Thursday, Friday HOOTIe HOMeGROwN and Saturday Nights! cONceRTS AUGUST 17 & 18

promos are subject to change.


MON-SAT ~ 4:30-7PM


Mon-Fri for Lunch* Mon-Sat for Dinner | (843) 388-8828 194 Seven Farms Drive, Charleston | 16



Radiesse BOGO fRee

Coolsculpting $400 Off

BOTOX $9 Per Unit

Smartlipo $500 Off

Breast Augmentation $250 Off

n I g n i w S

Laser Hair Removal HALf PRICe

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ALL Skin Care Products 30% off LIPO B12 Injections 10 for $130



Skin Rejuvenation Laser Procedures performed by Aestheticians HALf PRICe!

Visit us at our new office

1205 Two Island Court, Suite 203 • Mt. Pleasant, SC




Photo courtesy of Michael Feim

Bridals by Jodi

pure couture bridal

trunk shows


AUGUst 10-12

ALLUrE BridAL All Allure Gowns 10% off during trunk show Appointments Limited. Please call 843.863.8400 to secure your reservation.

AUGUst 1-6 AMsALE JENNY PACKHAM WHitE CoUtUrE tax Free Week sale ~ 10% off Everything Charleston’s Only Couture Bridal Boutique with Champagne Bar

7800 Rivers Avenue • North Charleston, SC 843.863.8400



Appointment Only • Daniel Island 843.471.2975

Photo by Tim Johnson


Voted “Best Boutique� every year since 2005 Charleston

Mount Pleasant


Myrtle BeaCh




likEs qUiET NighTs AND cUDDliNg. 2455 Remount Road, North Charleston 843.747.4849





Lose the

summer coverup! Dr. Jack Hensel is proud to be the first Charleston physician to offer Cellulaze! The First and ONLY Longer Lasting Treatment for the Appearance of Cellulite. Cellulaze is Fast, Easy, Effective and offers lasting results from just ONE TREATMENT.

Schedule Your Cellulaze Treatment in August and Receive $500 OFF

C e l l u l a z e • C o o l S C u lt p i n g • S m a r t l i p o • B r e a S t a u g m e n tat i o n S .


Visit us at our new office

1205 Two Island Court, Suite 203 • Mt. Pleasant, SC





Christine wears ‘Leah’ by Modern Trousseau. Image courtesy of Sweet Monday Photography -




For 17 Years there has only been one original 843 225 6282 422 SAVANNAH HWY CHARLESTON MONDAY-SATURDAY 10-6

Go Back to School with a smile!

Back to School Special exam, cleaning, fluoride and bitewing xrays (insurance may be billed)

Max. out of pocket



Come visit Summerville’s newest Pediatric Dental office! Dentistry for infants, children, adolescents and people with disabilities or special needs. We accept all forms of insurance. Fun, friendly atmosphere!

Dorothy Baker, DMD, PC

Specializing in Pediatric Dentistry

405 W 5th North Street | Suite A | Summerville, SC 29483 Conveniently located on Highway 78 in downtown Summerville just past Oscar’s Restaurant.

(843) 821-6433 22


Feeling a little

burned out

on summer? Get a fresh start! Coastal Dermatology offers the latest and most effective treatments in skin rejuvenation and body contouring.

Reaction skin tightening for neck or lower face ~ Package of 4 for $1200 Correct sun damage on the neck and chest with our IPL treatments ~ $300 Per treatment (reg. $400) Energize and metabolize fat with our Vitamin Injections ~ 6 LiPo B & 6 gLutathione $150 Buy a Microdermabrasion treatment for the face at $150 ~ get the hands free! Radiesse buy one get one 1/2 off. $650 per syringe. Save $325 on your second syringe! Latisse buy one, get one 1/2 off ™


Michele A. Mittelbronn, M.D.

Dermatology General • Surgical • Cosmetic



Board Certified in Dermatology, Member American Society of Laser Medicine and Surgery

Heather Moody Medical Esthetician and Laser Specialist

Meghan McQuiston, PA-C, MSPAS

Mount Pleasant 2705 Hwy 17 North 843.881.2265 Pawleys Island 8667 Ocean Highway 843.235.9060

MasterCard, Visa, Discover and American Express gladly accepted

GRAND AuGusT 1sT & 11TH OPeNiNG First 100 receive FREE Cupcake! sPeCiAl

Exotic and domEstic travEl

Are you looking for the next big thing? Come check out

annual GoddEss trips privatE and sEmiprivatE classEs

Charleston’s Only Gourmet Cupcake Boutique!

snorkElinG and divE GEar

comE divE with us! Charleston Scuba

• Service • Charters • Sales • Travel • • PADI Training Facility •

Visit us on

335 Savannah Hwy. • Charleston, SC • (843) 763-3483 •

host your next party or event with us! 5070 International Blvd, Suite 108 North Charleston, SC 29418 McCall Center (Next to Panera Bread in Tanger Outlets)

843.202.0468 Book Your Party by August 31st and Receive 10% off!

got cellulite? [10% off all skin treatments in August!]

Smartlipo mpx laSer body Sculpting and affirm mpx fractional Skin reSurfacing

“We are passionate about providing unsurpassed physician performed Laser Treatments that are affordable, comfortable and confidential.” Roberta Karnofsky, M.D.

410 Mill Street, Suite 402 | On Shem Creek | Mt. Pleasant, SC | 843.881.3777 | 888.73.LASER





Nikki Hardin Art Director

Caitilin McPhillips National Editor

Margaret Pilarski Advertising Director

Julie Perretta-McCarthy Account Executives

Jenny Dennis Bailey Peters

skirt! is all about women... their work, play, families, creativity, style, health and wealth, bodies and souls. skirt! is an attitude...spirited, independent, outspoken, serious, playful and irreverent, sometimes controversial, always passionate.

Ad Design

Cristina Young Office Manager

Justin Burke Interns

Send information to, or mail to skirt! Charleston, 7 Radcliffe St., Suite 302 Charleston, SC, 29403.

April Adams Contributors

Olivia Rae James Jen Renninger Photography

Follow us on Facebook and Twitter!

Marni Rothschild Durlach Alice Keeney Charleston Center for Photography


Sales: 843.958.0028 FAX: 843.958.0029

The Lessons Issue Features

Murdering Binkley Lorrie Goldin.................................................................................................38 You Talkin’ To Me? Stacy Appel......................................................................................................60 Parting Gift Jude Hopkins..................................................................................................70

Calendar Submissions skirt! is published monthly and distributed free throughout the greater Charleston area. skirt! reserves the right to refuse to sell space for any advertisement the staff deems inappropriate for the publication. Unsolicited manuscripts must be accompanied by a self-addressed, stamped envelope. Letters to the editor are welcome, but may be edited due to space limitations. Press releases must be received by the 1st of the month for the following month’s issue. All content of this magazine, including without limitation the design, advertisements, art, photos and editorial content, as well as the selection, coordination and arrangement thereof, is Copyright © 2012, Morris Publishing Group, LLC. All Rights Reserved. No portion of this magazine may be copied or reprinted without the express written permission of the publisher. SKIRT!® is a registered trademark of Morris Publishing Group, LLC.

Women make more than 80% of all purchasing decisions.

Women spend almost 2 of every 3 healthcare dollars.

Horse Laugh Amy Vansant................................................................................................100

Letter from the Publisher........................................................................27 Women control 2/3 of the nation’s disposable income.

Letter from the Editor..............................................................................27 My Charleston...............................................................................................40 He’s So Original............................................................................................44

Women influence 80% of all car sales.


skirt! in the Kitchen..................................................................................49 Calendar............................................................................................................53 Words to Live By.........................................................................................76 25 Things That Made Us Happy..........................................................78


.skir www

What My Preschoolers Taught Me Kat Richter.......................................................................................................92

In Every Issue


is skirt!

Great Expectations Heather Caliri................................................................................................82

invillea. bouga fuchsia

green opper is grassh

skirt! Says........................................................................................................84 Skirt of the Month......................................................................................87 Feel Good ......................................................................................................90 Browse................................................................................................................96 Meet..................................................................................................................104 Planet Nikki...................................................................................................106

augustw2012  25


Orchid Styling Boutique You

Salon Services

are invited

to attend

Hair Cut

orchid StYling Boutique

Color Shampoo/Set

featuring a


trunk Show

Eyebrow Arching



Stella and dot auguSt 11th 10am-5pm

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Browse Great Deals!

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Consign or Volunteer and be a part of the PRESALE BASH!

Where Artistry and Precision Meet

COME SHOP! Ram Kalus, M.D. FACS children's seasonal consignment event

September 13-15

Omar Shrine Convention Center • Mt. Pleasant

Upscale hand-me-downs at pleasing prices



843.881.3881 578 Lone Tree Drive | Suite 102 Mount Pleasant | SC 29464

The United Skirts of America

The United Skirts of America was founded on the blood, sweat and estrogen of our foremothers, who won us the freedom to break

Traci Daberko Traci Daberko received her education at the University

From the Publisher

The Lessons Issue I read an interview with Rachel Maddow recently and was surprised to learn that she has suffered from recurrent bouts of depression since childhood. Super confident, no-holds-barred Rachel Maddow?! Given her

The Rules, to wear

public persona, it seemed such a brave thing to put out there, and her

combat boots or high

description of how she copes with self-doubt and anxiety was inspiring.

heels, to run for office

Sure, we’re living in an era when we all know the brand names of half a

or run a marathon,

dozen antidepressants, and many of us have been in therapy at one time (or have a friend or family member who should be!), but it’s still hard for me

of Nebraska at Kearney and

to form our own

started her professional career

rock groups instead

how debilitating it can be. Our culture places such a high value on being

of being groupies, to

relentlessly cheerful, optimistic and Facebook-friendable that it’s just sort

1995, Traci co-founded

shatter Glass Ceilings

of embarrassing not to be that person. God knows, I’d love to wake up

Cyclone Design. During that

and Glass Slippers, to

in Seattle working for several prominent design firms. In

time, she received national recognition from many design

shoot hoops instead

to admit out loud how much I struggle with depression periodically and

every day in a cupcakes-and-kittens state of mind, but there are mornings when I’ll settle for an emotional weather report that is partly sunny with only a 30 percent chance of rain. As much as I thought I’d always been

industry organizations and

of settling for hoop

honest about this lifelong battle I seem to have inherited, I realized from

publications. In 2001, Traci

skirts. The ones who

Maddow’s interview that I’m often still apologetic to myself and others

came before us made

about the times I get taken down by what Winston Churchill called the

was selected as one of the judges for Communications Arts Magazine Design Annual.

it possible for our

She also teaches an advanced

daughters to dream

typography course at the School of Visual Concepts.

bigger, to have the

Currrently, Traci has more than

chance to grow up to

15 years of professional design

be President and turn

experience and has worked with a diverse range of clients

“black dog.” Her courage made me realize that I still have so much to learn about the difference between being broken and being broken open to become more human. Thanks for the lesson, Rachel. I promise to keep doing my homework.


the Oval Office into

from across the country.

the Ovary Office. In

From the Editor

Constantly seeking out new

the United Skirts of

For a nerd who hated P.E. with a passion, I’m still nostalgic for late August’s sharpened pencils,

America, every day is

unmarked erasers and wide open expectations. I still make notes, erase mistakes and find new

challenges, she is now exploring other visual art forms that include fine art, digital media, consulting and product design.

Independence Day! Visit us on

friends to sit with at lunch, but there are no field trips, no science fair volcanoes, and the closest thing to Spirit Week is five successive happy hours. Every August is a reminder that as kids we believed each new year would change our lives. As adults, we know we can make that change without the big yellow bus, and so we bring you the stories of women who are both student and teacher. From Rachael, whose first birth caused her to make a 180, to Jamie, whose game has improved after looking at it from the other side of the playbook, to Heather, who drags all of us kicking and screaming into functional adulthood—Charleston benefits from those who took lessons to heart before we had to. Whether it’s a big birth push, a corner kick or a quick quiche, the women of our August issue have tips and to-dos just for you. skirt! school’s in session this month and we know you’ll be a star scholar.

Teacher’s Pet


augustw2012  27

The RSVP Shoppe



70% up to



a gallery of fashion and art 27 broad street 853-9510 mon-sat 11-7 sun 12-5

Introducing Charleston’s First

Pickle Flavored vodka


Stationery • Fine Gifts • Candles • Cards and More 141 Broad Street, Charleston, SC 29401 | 843 • 577 • 9740

Introducing KöR Whitening Deep Bleaching is the newest, most revolutionary and effective teeth whitening system ever developed. Unlike typical teeth whitening procedures:

KöR Whitening is so effective; it is the only recognized system in the world that will even whiten tetracycline (dark) stained teeth, previously thought to be impossible.

With easy periodic at-home maintenance your teeth will stay white permanently, even while you continue to drink red wine, tea, coffee, etc.

During the whitening process nearly all patients experience only low to typically no teeth sensitivity.

This procedure is comfortable and 100% safe for your teeth and gums. The result is a radiantly white, natural appearing smile that you will LOVE! It is perfect for everyone, from 14 to 90!

HandcraFted in cHarleston, sc a Bloody Mary’s Best Friend a Martini’s secret ingredient a shot that will knock your socks off! enjoy it locally at your favorite local restaurant, Pub, or liquor store.


Dana Blalock, DDS 843.881.4545

follow us on


Daniel islanD Dentistry


210 Seven Farms Drive • Daniel Island, SC

augustw2012  29

get sugared Be Sweet to yourself with our

organic manicure and pedicure ~ Traditional Bowl Style ~ Odorless, Water Based Polish ~ Safe, Pure & Non-Toxic “I recently received an Organic Pedicure from Sweet 185 and LOVED IT! You really have a special place. I have never received such a pampering. It has been almost two weeks and my toes look like I just walked out of your spa. Thank you Sweet 185!!! - Katherine

We have flowers to suit any style, occasion or budget. Plus, we offer delivery locally or nationwide!

Be kind to your body. Sweet 185

843 329 3500


476 King Street

A uniquely different and exciting florist. 280 W. Coleman Blvd. 843.881.4888 like us on

Weddings and Events




Bringing unique, homemade artisan doughnuts to Charleston! 481 King St ° Charleston ° 843.577.5557 ° 30




Drive-thru ice cream cones.

augustw2012  31


Three showers a day.

32  augustw2012

Find the South of France in Your Own “Backyard”

Shoes that will take you places! One pair of shoes can take you from Casual to Cocktail with the pop of the interchangeable tops! Convertible Footwear offers custom designed, quality made shoes with snap on tops in an array of styles. Perfect for Travel!

Be the first to host a

Home Party

and make all your guests feel like Cinderella. Call Barbara at (843) 566-3090 or email

Consultant opportunities also available! Earn extra money selling what ever women LOVES—shoes!! Don’t miss out on the ground floor opportunity.

Enjoy homegrown, hand harvested and hand-processed lavender products from the first official lavender farm in South Carolina.

Shop online at lavender products

natural soaps



daily at Both


Where every day’ is a sale.

juicy couture banana republic kate spade trina turk marc jacobs j. crew gucci lilly pulitzer jimmy choo

Accepting Fall Consignments Starting August 13th


West Ashley Avondale 21 Magnolia Rd 843.556.1871

Mt. Pleasant Crickentree Village 1055 Johnnie Dodds Blvd 843.216.9993 M-F 10-6 Sat10-5 r e c y c l e r e u s e r e s a l e



The Eyelash Boutique


Say hello to longer, thicker lashes, and goodbye to messy mascara with our relaxing, eyelash extension procedure.

Charleston’s most experienced lash stylists!



Permanent Makeup

Simplify and beautify your life with smear-proof, sweat-proof makeup for: Eyebrows, Eyeliner, Lips, Scar Re-pigmentation and Areola Restoration.

Wake Up Made Up!



(843) 478-8586

710 Johnnie Dodds Blvd. • Ste. 315 Mt. Pleasant

SummerWhites Call for your appointment today!

Scan with your smartphone to be linked to our website.


V i ck

i Tatu

m, making


ever yday! s e l i m s ful eauti

Vicki tatuM, DMD

Family and Cosmetic Dentistry 92 Courtenay Drive, Charleston, SC 29403 (843) 57-SMILE • (843) 577-6453





Ballpark hotdog binge.

augustw2012  35

The Source for Unique Lamps

charleston lamp company


1760 Ashley River Road • Charleston, SC • (843) 763-9150


iS a State

of mind A 90 minute extraordinary escape that will open your mind, challenge your heart and nurture your soul. conquer THe eLeMenTS

Friday, August 3rd at 6 p.m. Kirsten, Vatsa, Carolyn & Krista


Sunday, August 12th at 4 p.m. Catherine and Alice



Friday, August 24th at 6 p.m., Krista


Sunday, September 9th at 4 p.m. Vatsa and Kirsten

j urney



Friday, September 21st at 6 p.m. Luciana and Rebecca

ATTenD ALL 5 rIDeS AnD geT A Free journeY rIDe T-SHIrT! coST

Make a bold statement with one-of-a kind hand beaded jewelry available exclusively at Diva Boutique.

PAckAge DeAL

$25 per Journey RIDE $100 for ALL 5 Journey RIDES $20 Certified Spinning® Instructor $80 Certified Spinning® Instructors


Class Registration and RIDE Schedule online at

843.737.4878 Licensed Spinning® Program Facility



74 Wentworth Street - 3rd Floor Downtown Charleston

341 King Street, Charleston, SC

2494 Solomons Island Road, Annapolis, MD



XL Margaritas

augustw2012  37

Logic trumps passion, particularly when it holds the purse strings.

Murdering Lorrie Goldin

38  augustw2012

Murdering Binkley

Binkley was a mean cat, the kind that lives forever out of spite. When my husband mentioned in passing, “Binkley’s limping a little,” I didn’t expect a cat who dragged her leg behind her like a scavenged drumstick. When the vet’s x-rays revealed a shattered bone in the hardest place to fix, I learned about feline osteoporosis. Binkley’s usual hop down from the bathroom counter would cost at least $2,000, with no guarantees, not counting follow-up visits and medication. The vet assured me I could pay on the installment plan. “Absolutely not,” my husband responded. “She’s old, and she’ll scratch us to a bloody pulp when we try to give her pills. And even if she makes it, what happens the next time she takes a drink from the sink? It’s time to put her down.” Our youngest daughter, Ally, was easily persuaded. She was tired of fighting her way downstairs past Binkley’s claws every morning. I hesitated, but only out of guilt for my wish to be free of litter boxes and shredded pantyhose. Emma, 14 years old, was the lone hold out. “I’ll pay for it!” she sobbed, surprisingly loyal to the cat I had to nag her to feed. “She shouldn’t have to die just because you don’t like her.” Immobilized but far from terminal, Binkley purred between hisses as we debated her fate. The vote was three to one. Logic trumps passion when it holds the purse strings. Secretly, though, I agreed with Emma. I admired her passion, and wondered where mine had gone. Did I misplace it somewhere among piles of bills and laundry? Maybe it was just another permanent casualty on the long and compromised road to maturity. Still, spending thousands of dollars on an old, nasty cat seemed absurd. As the arguments and tears crescendoed through the weekend, I worried what lesson we’d be teaching our children. At the very least, I imagined Emma someday pulling the plug on us at the nursing home because she had better ways to spend her time and money. This struck me as only fair. I despised my husband’s unsympathetic resolve. He despised my waffling. “You’re just making it worse,” he accused. Secretly, I knew he was right. On Monday, I called the vet. Emma refused to go to school that morning until I promised to schedule the appointment for late afternoon. When she came home, she gathered Binkley in her arms and barricaded herself in the bathroom. “I won’t let you kill her,” Emma screamed. But what could she do in the face of my treachery? Defeated, Emma relinquished her grasp a few minutes before the vet closed. “I hate you!” she choked between sobs as I eased Binkley into the cardboard carrier for one last trip. I eased her out again onto a fluffy towel atop the stainless steel exam table. Votive candles glowed from two crystal orbs while jazz played softly in the background. As Dr. Griffin slipped the needle through fur and skin, she assured me she would make the same choice in my place. Stroking Binkley as her feistiness drained away for good, I half let the music lull me into agreement. “That wasn’t so bad,” I thought on my way home. But as Lady Macbeth discovered, a murderess cannot long enjoy peace. The garage door clattered open on what looked like a crime scene. Bikes lay helter-skelter on the cracked concrete. The trash cans were upended, their rank contents strewn from corner to corner. Drifts of kitty litter crunched underfoot. I slammed the door and sprinted upstairs. “Emma? Where are you?” I beseeched the silent house. I never should have left her alone. It was bad enough murdering Binkley— what had I done to my own daughter? Under normal circumstances, Emma was a steady child, but her calm demeanor masked a fierce will. When I praised the drawing she’d brought home long ago from her second-grade art class, she’d taken a pencil and scribbled out her masterpiece. It was ruined, but at least it was hers. Now, frantic about what destructive self-assertion I might discover beyond the trashed garage, I searched the house from top to bottom. I found Emma at last, crumpled and crying in a corner of the basement. She let me hold her, and we rocked together for a very long time. I stroked her soft hair until her sobs drained away. I, too, felt bereft. Not so much for Binkley, but for the girl I no longer was that now inhabited my daughter. I admired Emma’s rage; I wished I still had her passion, her conviction, her noble heart. We buried Binkley on the hill. When we were finished, I said, “Let’s clean up the garage.” Lorrie Goldin is a psychotherapist and writer in the San Francisco Bay Area who recommends goldfish for pets.

Know Before You Go! is your FREE pass to Savings in Charleston Join Today!


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August. August is my birthday month, and therefore my favorite month. As silly as it seems (and leftover from being a kid I guess), birthdays make the whole month feel exciting. Even though I always end up celebrating with something low-key (and prefer it that way), it feels like a great time to reflect—and occasionally treat myself. With a new season around the corner, I feel myself appreciating downtime more than ever as motivation starts coming from all directions. August is the time for weekend getaways, relaxing with friends, and gearing up for the start of fall.

Artist Hirona Matsuda sitting on her “porch garden.”

Sweet neighborhood boys making Palmetto roses.

Surfboards decorate many porches around Elliotborough.

Exploring my neighborhood in the evenings gives me something to look forward to all day. Plus, I always seem to discover something new and wonderful.

’Tis the season for cherries and blackberries! 40   augustw2012

My friend Landon and I make a point to have regular wine and cheese dates.

Succulents and cacti are such a cool way to add green touches to a home.

Alleyways in Charleston are endless— and so fun to bike through.

Charleston from Up High.

this month I love

Charleston has a number of rooftop bars and restaurants; most of which I normally avoid as they seem to act as tourist traps. Though recently in a celebratory mood, my boyfriend and I happened upon the Market Pavilion Hotel’s rooftop bar. It certainly had its fill of tourists, but it didn’t matter. We sat with our pink champagne looking over our magical city at sunset, and although we were five minutes from home, it felt like a true vacation. You can see all angles of the peninsula from the top of the Market Pavilion Hotel.

1. Charleston goes to Berlin: artist features on Freunde von Freunden. ( 2. Farmers Market vegetables, roasted for dinner. 3. Pink sunsets that cast a pink glow on the city. 4. Roadside peach stands. 5. Exploring community gardens. 6. Time with my sister. 7. Weekend trips. 8. Raspberry margaritas. 9. An afternoon snooze. 10. The new Cynthia Rowley store. “I like to treat myself during the month of August. Weekend getaways, wine and cheese dates with friends, and lazy beach days—all while starting to feel the new burst of inspiration as fall quickly approaches.”

I love cityscapes from above. People are hardly visible and the cars look like toys.

The off-white canvas umbrellas add a chic touch to the rooftop deck.

I ordered a pink champagne to match my sunset view.

Olivia Rae James is a freelance photographer and writer. She shares words and photos about her life in Charleston on her blog, Everyday Musings. Follow her at

augustw2012  41

cfda’s 2012 womenswear designer of the year award m ary- k ate and ashley olsen the row exclusively at rt w charleston

defining personal style since 1978

186 king st

charleston, sc 29401


mon–sat 10– 6


Dr. Gweneth Lazenby Being on the water is full of happy surprises, amazing challenges, and moments of incredible connection. Actually, it’s a lot like my work as a physician meeting the health needs of women in the exact moment they’re in. And no matter what life or the water throws at us, we keep paddling.



augustw2012  43

Illustration by BerinMade Illustrated Paper Goods.

He’s So Original

Ryan Becknell is totally in tune. Friends of the Dubplates since high school, Ryan topped their list when they went looking for guitar and vocals for their expanded band. Dubbed “King Sing” by a bandmate, his lifetime love of music is all down to Mom. “I grew up listening to all kinds of amazing music with her and she paid for my first guitar lessons.” The King soon garnered the courage to record his own solo album, The Saga. “The healthy pressure performing presents drives me deeper into vocal conditioning, recording, guitar playing, and synergy with the crowd. The special ‘auto pilot’ feeling you get is incredible and metaphysical!” When he’s not onstage, you’ll find Ryan singing your praises as a personal trainer. “Watching people realize their fitness goals is the most rewarding experience for me.” What do you like about wearing a skirt? “How masculine it makes me feel.” What do you like about reading skirt!? “Women comprise 90% of my clientele, so the insight skirt! provides to current women’s interests and issues is invaluable. Plus I like seeing who is featured each month!” Photo by Marni Rothschild Durlach

44  augustw2012

Happenings Learn. Thrive. Succeed.


Brown Bag Lunch Series at Noon Thursday, August 9 | Noon | FREE

Newcomers to Charleston

If you’re new to the area, join us, connect and find resources! Jennifer Buddin, The Little Black Book for every busy woman Holly Roberson, Go Charleston Deals Sponsor Sandpiper Premier Senior Living Refreshments by Costco Media Sponsor The Little Black Book for every busy woman

Women’s Leadership Institute

Develop the skills and strategies of an effective leader

Saturday, August 11 | 9:30 a.m. - 12:30 p.m.

5 Leadership Behaviors You Need to Know Self-assess yourself and through discussion and role playing, learn key behaviors that will put you over the top! Mary Peters, MS, CMC, RG, Founder & President, Care for Life Presenting Sponsor BlueCross BlueShield of South Carolina BlueCross BlueShield of South Carolina is an independent licensee of the Blue Cross and Blue Shield Association

Sponsor Care for Life, Mary Peters, President, Eldercare Experts Refreshments by Fork Fine Gourmet

Job Search Assistance Wednesday, August 22 | 4:00 p.m. - 6:00 p.m. | $10.00

Job Help Drop In

Bring your questions and your resume and let our job coaches give you solid, practical advice. Stephanie McDonald, Recruiting Manager, MWV

Join is in celebrating a women’s right to vote! Great hors d’oeuvres, wine, live music, door prizes and “don’t miss” goodie bags.

Sunday, August 26

Women’s Equality Day Alhambra Hall, Mt Pleasant Tickets: $20 in advance $30 at the door for tickets

a fundraiser for the Women’s Leadership Institute

Our New Website! Check out the Center for Women’s newly refreshed website! We’ve made it easier to find the programs you’re interested in and made it easier to register.

Personal memberships are only $35.00 a year. Join today and support the Center for Women! To register, or call 843-763-7333.

Unless noted, programs are held at 129 Cannon Street



We love babies at Roper St. Francis Healthcare, and we want to make sure parents-to-be have everything they need for their upcoming bundle of joy. That’s why we’re throwing a baby shower just for you! At the event, you will find lots of baby and pregnancy exhibits. You’ll also get an exclusive tour of the all-new Roper St. Francis Mount Pleasant Hospital birthing suites. And of course, we’ll have the fabulous door prizes that have made this event a must for parents-to-be. Date: Saturday, September 8 Time: 10 a.m. - 1 p.m. Location: Roper St. Francis Mount Pleasant Hospital 3500 Highway 17 North (near Wando High School) If you’re expecting, we’re expecting you! For more information, call 402-CARE.

l ita ion sp cat Ho Lo nt w sa Ne Plea nt ou M 46


North Mt. Pleasant

augustw2012  47

Illustration by BerinMade Illustrated Paper Goods.

Women helping women do business better.

Wed, Aug 8 Tues, Aug 21 To set up an appt. or register for a program, contact us: or call 843 763 7333 ext 211

Tues, Aug 28

Entrepreneurial Readiness

5:30pm to 7:30pm

Learn about the common traits of successful entrepreneurs.


Networking for Small Business Owners 5:30pm to 7:00pm FREE

Meet and get great ideas from other women like yourself, plus learn about a new networking model called ‘netweaving’ from Sharon Becker, LISW.

To LLC or not to LLC? That is the Question. 5:30pm to 7:00pm $20.00 Understand the legal and tax consequences of different business structures.

Karen Kerrison, Attorney, Daughtridge & Wallace

Programs are held at 129 Cannon St (between Ashley Ave & President St)

2012 Business Partners The SC Women’s Business Center is an affliliate of the Center for Women.

Funded in part by a Cooperative Agreement with the US Small Business Administration.

Summer Plans? If you are interested in enhancing or rejuvenating your appearance, Dr. Hahm has the experience and caring approach to make the difference.



Scarless Breast Augmentation • Natural Breast Reconstruction • Breast Lift • Tummy Tuck • Laser-Assisted Liposuction

Facelift • Eyelids / Browlift • Nose Surgery • Ears • Lip Enhancement


Lasers ~ hair removal, veins, skin • Botox, Restylane, Sculptra • Jane Iredale makeup, Obagi... • AND MUCH MORE... •

Carolina Aesthetic Plastic Surgery Institute, PA 48


Thomas Hahm, M.D.

Board Certified Plastic Surgeon • Fellowship Trained at the Renowned Johns Hopkins University

(843) 884-1400

mount pleasant


north charleston

like us on


Photo by Alice Keeney

Amanda McClimans

Chef, The Stono Breeze at St. Johns Yacht Harbor 2408 Maybank Highway, Johns Island, SC 29455 843.557.1027,

What is the best compliment a customer ever paid you?

“Best marina

Shoes I wear in the kitchen:

and bar ever!”

How do you unwind after a long day? A cruise on the Stono River with my crew, fiancé Mike, and dog Tucker!

What’s your motto: “When life gives you lemons, make Sanbreezie!”

Best part of being located on the Stono River? The view and the people. It’s a floating community.

Most popular seafood dish? Our weekend Lowcountry Shrimp Boil.

Boat shoes! They’re not just for boats. 5 favorite ingredients: Newest item for summer parties? Pomegranate Martinis.

What’s your favorite seafood item? Crab Dip—yummy and freshly made. It’s always a crowd pleaser!

1. Red Pepper Plant Hot Sauce 2. Garlic 3. Bacon 4. Shallots 5. Coconut water (It’s super hydrating, a great rum mixer and perfect after a long hot day on the boat!)

Best appetizer after you have been on the water all day?

Favorite lunch dish to make: Any of our delicious salads.They are beautiful and colorful.

Must-try appetizer: ”Hollapeño” cheese-stuffed pretzels with a side of homemade ranch dressing.

Best lunch by the pool? Our freshly made chicken or tuna salad sandwich served with a side of refreshing homemade cucumbertomato salad. Our most popular lunch sandwich: Our signature burger, the Jack Sparrow, a half-pounder with ham, bacon, swiss cheese, and grilled pineapple with a rum reduction glaze. Favorite cocktail to sip while watching the sun set? A “Sanbreezie” of course! It’s our signature white sangria. Made with mango rum, white wine, organic peach stirrings, a splash of soda and fresh fruit.

Best brunch item? Shrimp and Grits, of course!

What lunch should a boater pack up for a day on the water? Nothing! We do it all.

Best reason to have a party at the club? The view. It can’t be beat.

Are you open off season? Absolutely. Poolside oyster roasts and the best chili around.

My recipe for running a great kitchen: • Lead by example • Team mindset • Pride • Creativity • Be respectful

Our Mini Corn Dawgs are popular with the little ones and the Chicken Quesadillas are a hit with the big kids!

How do you keep the SJYH commitment to staying green going in the kitchen?

We recycle everything! The Stono Breeze is committed to creating an Earth-friendly environment by purchasing biodegradable supplies. St. Johns Yacht Harbor is also in the process of applying for Clean Marina Certification.

Five restaurants on your bucket list

Osteria Fancescana, Modena, Italy Per Se, NY, NY Noma, Copenhagen, Denmark Pujol, Mexico City Chez Panisse, Berkeley, California

augustw2012  49 45

why? women pay $1 billion more each year in individual health insurance costs?

50  augustw2012

Th e Go o d Ne w s Currently, women pay $1 billion more each year in individual health insurance costs, according to a report by the National Women’s Law Center. For instance, over half of the best-selling individual plans charge non-smoking women more than their cigarette-puffing male counterparts, and women who are overweight also pay more than men who are equally overweight, according to ehealthinsurance. com. In most states, insurance companies can charge women more than men for the same coverage because of what is called a “gender rating.” Even with employer-based coverage, women have higher out-of-pocket medical costs than men. Among women insured by employer-based plans, oral contraceptives alone account for one-third of their total outof-pocket health care spending. Thanks to your lady parts, you not only make less than men, you also pay more for health insurance coverage. But relief is in sight. Thanks to the recent Supreme Court ruling on the Affordable Care Act, starting in 2014, health insurers will be prohibited from charging you more because you’re a woman.

augustw2012  51

Reinvent Yourself with Amanda Seay, DDS Artistic Talent Technical Competence Beautiful Results “My practice focuses on complex, multi-faceted cosmetic and restorative dental procedures and techniques. We also provide comprehensive preventative hygiene services. My team and I have dedicated hundreds of hours to advanced training in order to create an exceptional and friendly dental experience in a spa environment.”

PARK WEST DENTISTRY Amanda Seay, DDS (843) 375-0395 3404 Salterbeck St., Suite 202 Mt. Pleasant

Sustaining Member

Stay Connected With Us

The nation’s top doctors. Closer than ever. When you choose the new MUSC Health Center in Mt. Pleasant, there’s peace of mind in knowing that you’re backed by the largest team of specialists in the Lowcountry. In fact, of the physicians on America’s Best Doctors lists, you’ll find nearly 300 at MUSC. Whether you need primary care, comprehensive women’s breast care, urology, or many other services, you’ll get the benefits of advanced coordinated health care, by doctors who are pioneering new ways to treat and heal. With a rooftop healing garden, Black Bean Co. café, a medical concierge, free parking and easy access at Hungryneck Blvd and Highway 17, the new MUSC Health center is as beautiful as it is convenient. To learn more about MUSC Health East Cooper, visit or call: | 843.792.1414

Changing What’s Possible in Health Care.



Illustration by Monkey Mind Design, Unique Paper Expressions.




Enjoy a day of Riverdogs baseball at The Slim Down the South Celebrity Softball Challenge to support Louie’s Kids and Run Buddies that helps combat childhood obesity. $12-$25.

Celebrate back to school at the First Day Festival for Children and Families. Free festival events including a Kids Zone and boat rides are bound to excite kids for their first day back.

Feminist scholar Bell Hooks, most commonly known for her novels discussing issues of social class, race and gender, will be delivering a talk, “Writing Beyond Race,” free to the public.

1-31 Journey the Globe

Check out photographer and educator Katherine Houghton’s exhibit, A Photographic Journey of Discovery: Women & Children Around the World. North Charleston City Gallery. 3 Savor the Summer

Join artist Cecelia Campbell at the Charleston Artist Guild Gallery, a reception for her exhibit, Summertime, which depicts everything we love about the Lowcountry’s favorite season. 5-8pm. 4 Friendly Folly

Clean up Folly Beach at the Barefoot Wine Beach Rescue Project.Volunteers can work to ensure our beach is “barefoot friendly.” 2:30-7pm.

4 Shaggin’ on the Cooper

Enjoy a warm summer night with live music and dancing by the water at the Mount Pleasant Pier. Tickets are limited. 8 Make a Splash

Bring your kids to Mount Pleasant Waterfront Park to play in jump castles and water slides. This event is free with food and drinks available for purchase. 9-12 Fore!

Follow your favorite golfers as they compete at the 94th PGA Championship at The Ocean Course in Kiawah Island Golf Resort.

11 Sun Safety

26 Stay Connected

18 Support Students

29 Wine Walking

Dermatologists from the MUSC Mobile Health Unit will be giving out free skin cancer screenings at Splash Zone Water Park from 9am-12pm. Hurry out for this first come, first serve offer. Enjoy a day of golf at the 5th Annual Trip Page Classic Golf Tournament and Awards Lunch to benefit the Trip Page Education Initiative of South Carolina.

The Charleston Jewish Federation brings Jewish women of all ages together. Make new friends, share common experiences and unify the Jewish women’s community. Sip your way through Middleton Place on a Wednesday Wines of the World Stroll. From 6:30-8pm, $15. 31 Jazzed Up

23 Yappy Hour

Unwind at happy hour with your pup at the James Island County Park Dog Park. This free event with park admission will have live music performed by Rawberry Jam.

Get your fill of contemporary jazz at the 4th annual Low Country Jazz Festival at the North Charleston Performing Arts Center.

augustw2012  53


Necklace from Harrison Newsome

Kate Spade ring from Finicky Filly David Aubrey earrings from Copper Penny

Jade dress from Scout & Molly

Cuff from Out of Hand

B. Lush tote from Copper Penny Shooz

Tkees sandals from Thera M.

Cocktail ring from Bashful

Leather wrap watch from Affordables

David Yurman ring from Saks Off Fifth at Tanger Outlet Bronx pumps from The Shoe Fairy

54  augustw2012

Jesslyn Blake bag from Utopia Verdier earrings from Utopia

Chan Luu wrap bracelet from The Resort Shop

David Aubrey earrings from Teal

Nepal Mission bracelets from Finicky Filly

Styling by Alexandra Munzel of Alexandra Styles. Alexandra is also available for wardrobe styling, closet consultations and wedding styling. alexandrastyles.comS


Cocktail ring from Finicky Filly

Charles Albert sea glass ring from Zinnia

Bangles from Copper Penny

Cynthia Desser cuff from RTW


Siren Call

augustw2012  55


well worth the trip downtown Morris Sokol Furniture

510 King Street • Charleston, SC • 843.722.3874 • • Free Parking beside store on Reid Street!



Visit us on


3 2

Our newest love from Starbucks.

4 5

Jonathan Adler’s First Lady pillow.

Peace of yum at Whole Foods.

A whole lot of red, white Kittens on King, a Pet Helpers event. and blue. Only the best for our friends.





Neiman Marcus + Target = Must Have

The John Wesley Harding show on NPR.


Finally, the peaches arrived.


12 14

11 We’re moving! Good-bye King Street. Hello to the corner of Henrietta and Elizabeth Streets.


Strawberry, blueberry and banana smoothies to die for.

Words of wisdom.

Vintage finds, often with a good backstory.



Summer cold and cough cure: fresh lime juice mixed with honey.

Lia Neal Blueberry pancakes—a must if you’re heading to New York (or just order the cookbook).




Inching the thermostat down.

17 years old! You go girl.


Beer and cupcakes—who would have thought?

Actually, it really didn’t make us very happy...


Cath Kidston iPhone case.

23 21

Alice Keeney’s submissions to the Ways of Seeing: Phoneography exhibit at Rebekah Jacob Gallery.





Two of our favorites get Emmy nominations.



Chi Photography, LLC

Chi Photography, LLC

The adorable son of dr. and Mrs. Michael WheaTon

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Rebecca G. Baird, M.D. • Alison E. Dillon, M.D. • Lauren F. Hamilton, M.D. • Denise H. Devine, M.D. • W. Stanley Ottinger, M.D. • Heidi M. Sapp, M.D. • Jennifer F. Fisher, M.D. CHARLEStOn 1027 Physicians Dr., Suite 110 | JAMES ISLAnD 446 Folly Rd. | Mt. pLEASAnt 570 Longpoint Rd., Suite 130

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from Across the Street!

Boone Hall Farms Market

Local Has Never Been Better. Never. Flowers & Gifts Talented Floral Designer Donna Tambe customizes arrangements for any occasion

Fresh Local Produce Lowcountry Butcher Shoppe Diverse Wine Selection & Gourmet Cheeses Fresh Seafood Straight from Lowcountry Docks

Check Out Our Market Cafe with New Expanded Menu Farm Fresh Meals • Sandwiches Salads • Wraps • Desserts “Home Cookin’ That Is As Good As Grandma Makes.”

2521 Highway 17N,• Mt. Pleasant 843.856.8154 • Find us on

Mon-Sat 9am -7pm Sun 10am-6pm Free Wi-Fi 58


augustw2012  59

Illustration by BerinMade Illustrated Paper Goods.

My mother taught me early on that it is extremely rude to eavesdrop. She meant, of course, that I wasn’t supposed to listen in on her grown-up conversations.


Stacy Appel

have just begun the three-mile circular trek around the reservoir’s perimeter, hoping to navigate the steeper portions of the paved trail before the day’s heat settles in. Below me, a few paddle boats traipse lazily across the water, rousing a brace of ducks toward the dilapidated dock, where some toddlers will soon discover the mad raucous joy of throwing stale bread from a bag. A robust-looking woman in jeans and green tank top walks briskly down the hill toward me, pushing a stroller before her, dodging a couple of teenagers roller-blading in the opposite direction. When she is almost in front of me she looks right at me and says, “I’ve decided I’m going to stop nursing! This week! He’s plenty old enough, don’t you think?” Well, let’s see. I can’t say I’ve given it a lot of thought, since we haven’t actually met. I’m not even sure these circumstances technically constitute a meeting, unless your coming down the hill that I’m hoping to ascend is the kind of intimate encounter you’re used to. Should you stop nursing him? An excellent question, certainly, and of the sort no one usually asks me when I’m hiking alone. I’ll bet you didn’t even bother with the skaters. Perhaps first you could stop walking, then maybe we could talk about whether to stop nursing. We might even go all out and formally introduce ourselves before I hazard an opinion. Now the woman is moving right past me, still talking loudly. She’s got on expensive walking shoes, and a flowered diaper bag is arranged tidily on one of the stroller handles; she seems alert and oriented. I realize suddenly that I’m not meant to proffer wisdom, agreement, or even a smile, for somewhere on her person is a Bluetooth device invisible to passers-by. But my conditioning is so strong that I’m tempted to apologize for listening in, despite the sign that indicates we’re in a very public park. My mother taught me early on that it is extremely rude to eavesdrop. She meant, of course, that I wasn’t supposed to listen in on her grown-up conversations. She had no qualms about repeating to my father or her friends the variety of

60  augustw2012

You Talkin’ to Me?

the sAVInGs


fascinating tidbits she’d overheard in the grocery or at lunch in a restaurant. Many times I heard her begin a conversation with a surprised stranger with the words, “I couldn’t help overhearing...” before she offered her own advice, whether it was a recommendation for a furniture outlet or the neat resolution of a domestic drama. Anyone talking within earshot was fair game. Thoroughly schooled in the idea of respecting other people’s privacy, I found these matters complicated not only by my mother’s double standard, but because I had supersonic hearing, as so many children do. I could quickly piece together what each person in our household was doing at a given moment simply by tracking familiar sounds, whether it was the noise my brother made rustling illicitly through my father’s bedroom bureau drawer for change, or my mother tearing open the cellophane of a hoarded package of butterscotch candy downstairs after I’d been sent off to bed. There was just no help for it. If a neighbor in my family’s living room happened to drop his voice to a whisper, I was suddenly all ears. If my father’s voice lowered to a murmur in order to relate something on the telephone to his cousin Al, a trumpet might as well have sounded throughout my small kingdom, calling me forth from play or slumber. I heard everything. I did eventually learn not to eavesdrop, or to tune out what was said as best I could to focus on my own concerns. This evolution had little to do with the development of personal ethics and was really about psychological survival. I began to realize that adults lowered their voices for good reasons. The kinds of things I overheard were usually not about me and often as not brought unhappy tidings. If I had once hoped to get the inside scoop on a surprise birthday party (for me!) or a new TV my parents planned to buy, instead I found myself privy to news of local infidelities, my neighbor’s divorce, my godmother’s cancer diagnosis, my mother’s best friend’s alcoholism. It was all stuff I might have known somehow, but was terrifying once confirmed. When my mother finally quit smoking, a phone conversation I snooped on between my mother and Henny from next door intrigued and then depressed me—I discovered my mother had been borrowing cigarettes from Henny all along, and smoking them on her back porch. Eventually I overheard darker whisperings—news of my parents’ dire finances, my father’s depression, my aunt’s abandoning her share of my grandmother’s medical expenses. “I’m so very frightened,” was a phrase my mother used more than once in confidence to one friend or another, in a strange choked voice. I couldn’t comfort her, and there was no one to comfort me either, since I wasn’t supposed to have known in the first place. I headed toward adulthood refining my listening skills and developing sound instincts for what is absolutely none of my beeswax. Still, I celebrate the proliferation of cell phones, which has resurrected the noble art of eavesdropping, making it possible, even mandatory, that we all listen in, without the slightest moral concern about doing so. I’m not wild about Bluetooth earpieces, since once you could easily distinguish nutty people from non-stop conversationalists, and now strolling down the sidewalk you really can’t tell who’s who. It’s a fine line, I guess. Daily I manage to tune out most of what I hear, but every now and then a stray snippet or two gives me hope and makes me laugh. I have the sense of a larger, global conversation going on. How wrong can it be to listen in from time to time? In line at the post office in Oakland last month, a burly Hell’s Angel type with a stony face was talking rapidly, seriously, into his buddy’s ear, sounding for all the world as if he was cutting a secret drug deal. “...then you put it in the oven, brother, at 350 degrees, know what I’m sayin’? Then you add the Bearnaise sauce, know what I’m sayin’? It’s frigging delicious, brother, you gotta trust me. I’m tellin’ you, dude.” Once in a while, there’s a bit you were absolutely, positively meant by the gods to overhear, whether it’s a woman at the next table telling her boyfriend he’s gorgeous exactly the way he is and should, by all means, have dessert, or the mother saying to her daughter on the “up” escalator, “...but you’re a wonderful artist, honey. Why in heaven’s name would you want a job like that?” The most beneficial advice I received recently was one of those snippets, meant for someone else and delivered as part of a ramble into a cell phone by a tattered-looking guy with a shopping cart full of what appeared to be sleeping bag and personal possessions. I will never know the context, but what he said into the phone to his listener was definitive, a new mantra I will use for my own moments of crisis. “You listen to the Debussy, man, you be all right,” he said softly. “You just settle on down now and listen to the Debussy. You’ll see.” I can almost hear the music if I listen closely. Stacy Appel is an award-winning writer who eavesdrops in California. Her work has been featured in the Chicago Tribune and elsewhere. She has also written for National Public Radio. She is a contributor to the book You Know You’re a Writer When… by Adair Lara. Contact Stacy at




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Teach Me

Jamie Stewart | Soccer Star At age three, Jamie’s best tactic was to lie about her age to get on to a youth soccer team for four-year-olds. These days her advice runs a wider gamut. “In a coaching role, you also take on the challenge of helping many people grow rather than just yourself. There’s nothing better than helping my players in all capacities—on the field, in the classroom, and as an advisor.” In her years, Jamie has gone from player to College of Charleston captain, then to assistant coach at the Citadel, and now in addition, player for South Carolina’s first women’s semi-professional team, the Central SC Cobras. “I try to be the best example possible for all of the girls I have coached at The Citadel, but little do they know, they have been an example for me. As I have watched these girls go through tremendous ups and downs as cadets, student-athletes, and friends, it is impossible not to admire their courage, work ethic and overall attitude.” Photo by Alice Keeney

augustw2012  63


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Teach Me

Heather Solos | Helping Hand at Home Ever feel like you missed an instructional class that everyone in a glossy magazine aced? Heather knows the feeling. “In 2007 I was kvetching with my friend about some aspect or another of running a home and we had a realization: If we were two, mostly competent and decently educated women and didn’t have a clue about running a household, there had to be more people like us.” So Heather and pal built Home-Ec 101, a website for people who don’t live in highly styled photos. “I believe life skills are a tool for empowerment. It isn’t easy to feel like a competent adult when your home is a mess and you live on take out.” Now with a bestselling, top-rated book in her apron pocket, Home-Ec 101: Skills for Everyday Living, Heather’s also partnered up to launch an app for sharing the web’s visuals, SpinPicks. Make the transition “from drive through to dinner table” at

Photo by Marni Rothschild Durlach

augustw2012  65

Teach Me

Rachael McNamara | Baby Talk Hindsight is 20/20, but Rachael doesn’t want you to have to look back. “I research everything. It can literally take me weeks to buy a car seat.  However, when it came to giving birth, I basically went in blind, backed by horror stories from my family.” After the nightmare-inducing birth of her first child, Rachael hit the books and started looking for new techniques. “When I became pregnant with my second, I discovered Hypnobabies and found that the whole program just made sense for me, as it seemed to reward preparation.   I had an amazing birth, only half as long in birthing time, and even better—I didn’t experience discomfort. Literally, less than an hour after birth, I said ‘that’s it?’” Rachael now instructs other women in the Hypnobabies method, as well as keeps students safe as the College of Charleston’s Health Educator. “It is absolutely inspiring to see a women take charge of her experience and approach decisions for her health and the health of her baby.”  Photo by Alice Keeney

66  augustw2012

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Illustration by BerinMade Illustrated Paper Goods.

In truth, we were wearing down. I wanted to quit my office job and go back to teaching; he wanted to quit teaching and play guitar. We were still yearning, but we yearned for different things.


Jude Hopkins

’ve often envisioned a chance meeting with my ex-boyfriend during which we give our relationship the send-off it deserved. We would engage in a few civilities, re-awaken a few memories, then once again go our separate ways—this time as friends. True, we were better off as footnotes in a long-closed book, but our misspent passion had joined us as well as divided us. I did see my ex-boyfriend not so long ago, but it wasn’t as I imagined it. My first glimpse of him after so long was entirely one-sided—not to mention one-dimensional. I watched him compete on Who Wants to be a Millionaire. A few days before the show aired, he had called a mutual friend to say he had just won $64,000. “He asked if you were doing okay,” my friend Dennis said. “He’s still married. With kids.” Naturally, I watched the show. He was still strikingly handsome with his perfect game-show smile and distinctive cleft chin. I was amused by the string of puka beads he wore around his neck, something only a few could carry off in the 21st century. His loud and lusty laugh was just as I remembered it. The question he finally missed was something I knew. “The properties in the game Monopoly are named after streets in Atlantic City, New Jersey, but one of them was misspelled. Which one was it?” host Meredith Vieira asked him. In front of my TV, I mouthed the words “Marvin Gardens” over and over like a mantra. I knew it was spelled “Marven” with an “e.” Our mutual love for trivia was one of the things that had first brought us together. After all these years, I was still egging him on—or, as he might say, exercising my overweening competitiveness.

70  augustw2012

Parting Gift

Jude Hopkins is a writing instructor at the University of Pittsburgh at Bradford. She has published poetry in Timber Creek Review and California Quarterly.

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“Park Place?” “No, it’s Marvin Gardens. Marven with an ‘e.’” There was a fitting symmetry in reuniting with only his image. Shortly after I met him at Arizona State University, he had gone off to Hollywood to appear on the first of several quiz shows. I loved seeing him on his first game show, Trivia Trap. The camera also adored his shock of hair, his chin dimple, those big blue-green eyes of his, big enough to rival those of Dondi, that wide-eyed orphan of the comic strip. “Her maiden name is Elizabeth Ann Bloomer. What name do we know her by today?” host Bob Eubanks had asked. “Betty Ford.” “Old Ironsides is the nickname for what?” “The U.S.S. Constitution.” On that show, he had won over $10,000, piles of press-on fingernails and a number of hearts besides mine. The $64,000 he had just won on Millionaire was enough to remodel his house or stash away for his kids’ education. Instead, he told Viera his first purchase would be a new guitar. The fact that he was still appearing on game shows two decades after his first one—not to mention still yearning for guitars—made me feel better. Does the fact he’s ever-the-contestant mean he’s still restless? The day he told me he was leaving graduate school for Hollywood, I told him how much I’d miss him. “Please don’t,” he said. “My brother calls me Houdini because I always disappear.” In spite of the forewarning, we stayed in touch, seeing one another when he’d return to Arizona, at which times he would urge me to move to L.A. When I finally did, he was still trying out for game shows to finance his rock star dreams. Such shows soon paralleled our on-and-off relationship. On the days we were “on,” it was like answering every question correctly—and winning the bonus round. We did the town, and attended concerts and parties, courtesy of Capitol Records where I worked. Once we dined at Spago. I went to the Grammys. He became friends of celebrities’ kids—and even a few celebrities. During those times, our futures seemed as limitless as the sprawling city before us. But nothing felt more empty and unfulfilling than “off days” when the money was tight, the traffic crawled on the 101 Freeway and a lot of us wannabes felt like the contestants who went home empty-handed after the first round. Everyone was beating us to the buzzer. During one of those long stretches, my friend Jim went on Jeopardy! and won $40,000. Like an injured athlete, my boyfriend yearned to get back to the playing field. During his down time—the required waiting period between game show appearances—our date nights turned into trivia-training sessions in bleak Googie-style coffee shops to prepare him for the next audition. I reluctantly became Mickey Goldmill to his Rocky Balboa. “Montevideo is the capital of what country?” “Uruguay.” “Ganymede, the moon, belongs to which planet? “I should know this. What is it?” I longed for the days when we had parried as part of a courting game, not as a means to an end. Eventually, he did become a contestant on another game show, Blockbusters, making it to the final round. But this time he lost. On the broadcast, his tie was knotted too tightly, his voice pinched. Gone was the youthful ebullience he’d had in droves on Trivia Trap. I worried about what his not winning would mean. Would two English majors interpret this loss as a symbol for our own struggles? In truth, we were wearing down. I wanted to quit my office job and go back to teaching; he wanted to quit teaching and play guitar. We were still yearning, but we yearned for different things. I found it hard to let go. He wanted to move on. Even in Los Angeles, a city so full of promises, love hadn’t conquered all. No smartly dressed hosts had read us the rules, nor were brand new cars waiting behind Curtain No. 3. More often than not, people don’t win the jackpot there. Why had I thought we’d be different? So, we went our separate ways. He wanted to remain friends, but I couldn’t. Eventually, we both moved away from Los Angeles. I went back East to teach. He went to the South to raise a family. Now, having seen him again on TV, I’m reminded of the time when I first met him in sunny Arizona. We were both young and full of ideas on how to spend our lives. Sadly, trivia experts know the answers to only the past and present. I had another chance meeting with him recently. His first appearance on Trivia Trap is now posted online. Here he remains untouched by time, heartbreakingly charming—and, at the time of the taping, awfully fond of me. So, at last, I have my closure, not as I thought it would be, but ultimately as it should be—a red-hot memory, forever preserved in a cool medium.

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74  augustw2012 Illustration by BerinMade Illustrated Paper Goods.

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Love this Poster? Prints are available for purchase at

Jennifer Renninger is an illustrator from Tampa, FL, whose clients include The New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Harper’s, Bark, Urban Outfitters, O Magazine and Chronicle Books. 76  augustw2012

augustw2012  55

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The Women’s Party Save the date for an epic party hosted by skirt! and the Center for Women, August 26 (aka Women’s Equality Day) at Alhambra Hall. Kick-off election season and celebrate your right to a ballot with delicious food and drinks, and music by the Local Honeys. Mingle with candidates, update your voter registration and take photos in the “voting” booth. Purchase tickets at

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augustw2012  81

Illustration by BerinMade Illustrated Paper Goods.

My daughter expects only success.

Heather Caliri


n the way home from the park, my daughter paused for the twentieth time, bent over, and picked up something. Could have been a daisy, penny, pillbug or bead. She stood up, her face alight. She held out a piece of white quartz, plucked out of a sea of sandy-pink gravel. “It’s a sparkling jewel, Mama,” she said. She was quiet for a while. Then she jumped into the air. “I know what I’ll do,” she said. “I’ll have a stand and sell my special rocks. Like when I sold lemonade.” I sighed. My daughter would do a lemonade (or rock, or jewelry, or artwork) stand every day if she could. But I dread them. Even if she’s old enough to run the stand herself, her sister is not. And watching a toddler on a busy

82  augustw2012

Heather Caliri is a writer living in San Diego, California. Her work has appeared in Literary Mama, Brain, Child, and Harpur Palate. She blogs at

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street while keeping her from spilling the merchandise is not my idea of a peaceful afternoon. Generally, then, I say no. But with a few lemonade stands under my belt, I know there’s a bigger reason I sigh every time the subject comes up. I’m afraid. It makes me squidgy inside to watch my daughter broadcast her excitement publicly. I worry about her confidence, her blithe assumption that people will be interested in her rocks, her lemonade or her art. I worry she’ll be rejected or that people will find her silly. I worry about the smackdown that comes when you put your passions out there. And here’s where I have left the realm of talking about my child. People are almost uniformly kind to my kid. They are almost uniformly encouraging of young entrepreneurs. The worst reaction she’s dealt with is someone ignoring her, which isn’t all bad. But my heart is still in my throat every time she sets up her little table and asks me to help her letter a sign. As a kid, I spent an afternoon once gathering desert wildflowers, bundling them into nosegays no bigger than my six-year-old palm, and waving them wildly at passing cars. I worked together with some neighbors. We had big plans for our flower bouquets, and imagined splitting the profits when they started rolling in. I remember being pretty hopeful that someone would stop and purchase these lovely creations. No one did. We all abandoned the wilting flowers on the roadside and headed home for dinner strangely disappointed. I felt silly thinking we could be a success. My daughter expects only success. She is surprised when someone drives by without waving. Last lemonade stand, she would call out to passersby from across the street to alert them to her business. After a few minutes, she turned to me and said, “Stop that.” “Stop what?” I said. “You keep laughing when I call out to people.” She was right. It was a kind of genuflection, an ironic distance from her enthusiasm. I was appalled. And the next time she called out, I did it again, like Pavlov’s dog. The truth is, I admire my daughter’s chutzpah. I keep examining my arguments against the lemonade stand. Because I know that part of my reluctance is this discomfort, this embarrassment. Perhaps I should figure out a way to make it work. Surely I could distract the youngest long enough for the shop to happen? Perhaps I could deal with being out there for an hour? Surely her creative, entrepreneurial spirit needs to be encouraged. I want her to live in a world where she is confident enough to dream big dreams. To put them out there, and the hell with the consequences. I want her to shush the people who laugh at her, rather than listening to them. I want her to find a way to make money creatively, to be entrepreneurial and wily. I want her to be her own boss. Each time I encourage my daughter’s boldness, every time I swallow my fear, I sense I’m learning a lesson. When I stop protecting her from even the possibility of rejection, I inoculate myself against that people-pleasing timidity. When I let her take risks, I learn to be bold, too. Last weekend, my daughter set up another lemonade stand, this time to raise money for a cause we all supported. My husband stood out with our daughters for an hour while I prepped food in the kitchen. The window was open to the glorious June sunshine, and I could hear almost every word the three of them were saying. My daughter sold at least 10 cups of lemonade, and chatted with (to my introvert’s eyes) half the neighborhood. She met moms and commuting businessmen, people walking their dogs, runners. She told each of them about the service project the money would go to, her sales pitch growing more polished with each person passing. For once, instead of looking at my daughter and wondering how long that passion and openness and trust in others would last, I started looking at the people who were walking by. At first, I was surprised. Their faces were alight, their eyes relaxed. They weren’t annoyed by her, or put off by a kindergartner’s shakedown. Instead, they looked joyful. As if the real treasure on offer—my daughter’s infectious enthusiasm—was well worth the asking price.

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accepting consignments daily 843.747.2273 3547 Meeting Street Road, Charleston, SC 29405

October 20, 2012

Redux Contemporary Art Center 136 St. Philip St. Charleston, SC FREE Admission! This fall, Redux Contemporary Art Center hosts the inaugural Southeast Zine Fest – a meeting place for zine makers, readers, distributors and DIY wannabes. The event will feature speakers like Alison Piepmeier, author of Girl Zines: Making Media, Doing Feminism, plus workshops, demos, food and live music.

To submit your zine or find out more: 86


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88  augustw2012 Illustration by BerinMade Illustrated Paper Goods.

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Feel Good About What’s Outside Your Own Front Door. If travel is just too expensive an indulgence this summer, try seeing your hometown with brand-new eyes. Side Walks: A Journal for Exploring Your City by Kate Pocrass encourages you to discover the hidden and extraordinary details of your own city. Filled with unique explorations and quirky prompts, it’s the perfect place to keep track of favorite local haunts, as well as a starting point to experience one’s neighborhood in a whole new way. Get off the beaten tracks you usually frequent, and record your findings in this field guide to backyard excursions. $15.95

86 90


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What My Preschoolers Taught Me

I look like a woman who knows what she wants and knows how to get it, but as I stood in the fitting room questioning my reflection, I saw a pitifully indecisive 20-something staring back at me.

Kat Richter


s the creative movement teacher at a Headstart preschool in North Philadelphia, I get a lot of questions. These range from the hopeful (“Miss Kat, are we gonna get stickers today?”) to the dejected (“Miss Kat, can you tie my shoe?”), to the just plain embarrassing (“Miss Kat, is that a baby in your belly?”). I have to explain that no, we’re not getting stickers today because we only get stickers on Friday, and today is not Friday and that no—as I resolve to start doing crunches again—that is not a baby in my belly. Then there are the questions that arise when one of my students finds me in the bathroom. Although it’s fairly obvious—at least to a grownup—

92  augustw2012

What My Preschoolers Taught Me

that I’m engaged in normal bathroom activities, it’s less obvious to my gaggle of endlessly curious three-year-olds. They never fail to ask “Miss Kat, what are you doing?” and when I tell them that I’m going to bathroom, they broadcast this news to their classmates with all the pride of a paleontologist who has just discovered a new species; news of a grownup going to the bathroom is a cause célèbre in the mind of a preschooler. Nonetheless, the question I receive the most often day after day, week after week and month after month is “Miss Kat, do you like my shirt?” Granted, sometimes they’ll ask if I like their skirt instead, or their shoes, or their new haircut, but the underlying meaning is always the same. They line up outside of the dance studio, point to their newest acquisition and ask with a curious mix of toddler pride and the need for my approval, “Do you like it?” When I first started teaching, I used to always say, “Yes, you look great!” Then I’d hurry my charges inside to get started with the day’s lesson. But then I went shopping. Without my mother. And I was nearly paralyzed. Keep in mind I’ll be 27 by the time you’re reading this essay. I’ve studied abroad, lived abroad, and two years ago, I quit my day job in order to pursue a career in the arts. On the outside, I look like a woman who knows what she wants and knows how to get it, but as I stood in the fitting room questioning my reflection, I saw a pitifully indecisive 20-something staring back at me. I liked the shimmery, asymmetrical dress I’d just tried on, but without my mother’s approval, I couldn’t be sure that it liked me. It’s not that my mother is some blue-blooded maven of high fashion—she’s the one who introduced me to Jomar, my bargain basement of choice, in the first place, and she maintains a rather liberal interpretation of “color coordination”—but we’ve always shopped together. I raid her closet more times than not and without her waiting outside of the fitting room to offer her opinion, I couldn’t do it. I returned home confused and empty-handed. It was then, as I reminisced about the gorgeous frock that I’d left on the rack, that I decided something had to change. It might be too late for me, but it wasn’t too late for my preschoolers. The very next morning, one of my particularly gregarious divas-intraining marched up to me, stuck out her foot to display a pair of brand new glittery jelly shoes and inquired, “Miss Kat, do you like my shoes?” I smiled, inspected the shoes and finally countered, “Do you like them?” She froze. This was an unexpected turn of events and preschoolers aren’t exactly known for dealing well with changes in events. “Do you like them?” I repeated. She considered it for a moment and then replied, “Yes.” “Well that’s what matters!” I exclaimed triumphantly. “If you like them, then it doesn’t matter what anybody else thinks.” She didn’t look entirely convinced, but I was pretty sure that the wheels in her little head were turning. A few days later one of my three-year-olds showed up to school sporting a brand new E.T. shirt. Between his teddy bear looks and his freakishly impressive vocabulary, it was all I could do to keep from blurting out, “Yes, of course I like your E.T. shirt!” But I held firm. “Do you like it?” I asked. “Yeah,” he replied matter-of-factly. “Did you know that E.T. means ‘alien,’ Miss Kat?” He later informed me that E.T. was “sad at me” over some injustice to do with the number of stickers he’d amassed on the Good Behavior Chart, but I considered this a small price to pay considering all the selfconfidence I was instilling in my students. This went on for weeks. I refused to comment on light-up sneakers, new haircuts, sun dresses and even graduation outfits, although I slipped up when one of my five-year-olds turned out in a linen suit for the last day of school. Eventually, however, I got so good at saying, “Do you like it?” that I no longer had to think about it. It was automatic. I decided to return to Jomar for another look at that funky silver dress, and as I scrutinized the single ruffle running down the front, I realized that if my preschoolers could stop caring what other people thought of them, I could, too. In the end, my mother loved the dress, but more importantly, I didn’t care. Kat Richter is a freelance writer and teaching artist who lives in Philadelphia. She holds an MA in Dance Anthropology and blogs about her adventures in online dating at

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55 million All th e Sing l e La di es This election year, unmarried voting-eligible women are estimated to number 55 million, more than 25 percent of the voting-eligible population, with most of them socially liberal and deeply invested in economic issues like jobs and fair pay. But single women— especially those with children—register and vote at lower rates than married women.The potential power of this group is undeniable. If single women had cast ballots in the same proportions as married women in the 2000 presidential election, Al Gore probably would have received an additional six million votes, more than enough to have won him the White House. According to’s Hannah Rosin, single women already make up the largest and fastest-growing voting segment and adding a million new voters each year. Use your woman power in November! Calling all Charleston area women: Come to play and register to vote at the EAT DRINK VOTE party presented by skirt! and The Center for Women on August 26th. For details, see page 102.

94  augustw2012

augustw2012  95


Reasons to get online Inspire others to give back and earn points for being a good samaritan with By showcasing your volunteer efforts with peers, you can earn points that can be redeemed for deals with participating businesses. The Un-Fair campaign has pushed the issue of racism to the surface and made news headlines in the process. The ads, posters and billboards bring to light the issues of white privilege

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and prejudice with compelling messages. Enhance your financial expertise with DailyWorth, a site tailored to women that respects our daily lives as contributors to 65% of financial decisions within our homes. With tips on getting out of debt plus real success stories, this community will

Bring Up The Bodies Hilary Mantel Nikki Hardin Publisher

help you crawl out of any sticky situation. Want more skirt! to love? Follow us on Tumblr for a daily dose of behind-the-scenes action, creative campaigns, inspiration, and all the news we’re chewing.

Excuses to catch up on a few blogs “As longtime readers know, this is the part of the year when I become completely enamored of my garden, as if I, personally, invented the tomato plant.” 96  augustw2012

“On a moonless night, I headed out into the nearby park with the treasure chest under one arm and a shovel in the other... When the box was covered with sod and grass, I made a huge X out of stones and hightailed it home. I almost couldn’t sleep, I was so excited.”

Girl Walks into a Bar... Rachel Dratch Margaret Pilarski Editor

“I decided to pony up and take responsibility  for my own happiness. I am ecstatic that I didn’t let another week, year or decade go by living in the state I was in, a state of peril and unease.”



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Meet me at the Creek...

No music. No life.

for Breakfast!

Listen daily.

7-11 am ~ 7 Days a Week!! office meetings mom’s day out bridal showers family gatherings

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Celebrating our 20th Annual IOP Connector Race: Rock out to PlaneJane after the race and quench your thirst at our Beer Garden.

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augustw2012  99

Illustration by BerinMade Illustrated Paper Goods.

No one wants to be a quitter. But not every cause is a winner.

Amy Vansant


efore Rocky, I’d never been a quitter. For example, I watched the first few years of the TV series  Bones  on DVD while doped on flu medication. After my illness, I continued to watch the series even though somewhere around season five it became a parody of itself. The main characters solidified as completely unlikable individuals,  surrounded by a supporting cast so cartoonish Mel Blanc should have voiced their dialogue. Nevertheless, each week I propped my eyelids open with modified eyelash curlers,  Clockwork Orangestyle, and watched.  How could I quit something into which I’d invested 100 hours of my life? I didn’t watch Bones because I loved the idea of street artists morphing into computer geniuses sporting eponymous  all-knowing, crime-solving “Angelatron” computers. Just saying “Angelatron” makes me want to punch myself in the face. I watched Bones to slow my own personal slide into apathy. In my youth, I committed to every challenge with a special combination of fervor and stupidity. To change that behavior would to be to admit I’d lost my edge. I didn’t want to be a quitter.

100  augustw2012

Horse Laugh

Then I met a horse named Rocky. When my girlfriend asked me to take riding lessons with her, I knew, much like a cast member of Celebrity Apprentice, that I’d have to check my self-respect at the door. She and I rode competitively from third grade to ninth, but I had only been on a horse twice since then. I had no illusions of becoming a Spaghetti Western stunt double my first day back in the saddle. Largely because they stopped making Spaghetti Westerns in the late Sixties, but also because I understand riding is an art that requires muscle strength I no longer possess. My first riding lesson damaged both my pride and my legs. I wore the wrong clothes and rubbed deep holes into the side of each calf. But I wasn’t a quitter. For the next lesson, I bought high boots to protect my legs, skin-tight breeches because the world just doesn’t see enough of my ass, and a riding helmet. I felt more comfortable in the saddle, particularly once it was discovered I had mistakenly used a child’s saddle the first time. Still, my ankles and leg muscles ached after trotting just a few times around the ring. On the upside, the clear reminder of how out of shape I’d become was an excellent way to prompt a mid-life crisis. All my friends were having them and I felt left out. But I was not enjoying myself. Third lesson, my steed, Rocky, decided to demonstrate that he didn’t enjoy trotting around a ring anymore than I enjoyed bouncing around on his bony spine. Rocky threw down his head, ripping the reins from my hands, and bucked like a rodeo horse. I did my best to hold on, but Rocky also eschewed the “quitter” label. He refused to stop until I hit the dirt. “Wow,” said my unimpressed instructor. “Rocky hasn’t bucked anyone off in like a year.” I felt honored. Dejected and dusty, I walked Rocky back to the little step stool and climbed back aboard, hissing the story of dog food manufacturing through gritted teeth. I trotted around the ring to prove my fearlessness and then headed back to the barn, but I could feel my relationship with Rocky had been inextricably altered. Rocky had my number. Next lesson, Rocky didn’t bother to pretend things between us were civil. Again he tried to buck; somehow I wrestled back control. I attempted to resume cantering. Ten feet down the rail Rocky again threw his head, splaying me across his neck. Mane in my teeth, I yanked back on the reins. Rocky stopped dead. I had underestimated Rocky’s sense of humor. Over and over we repeated this dance. Head down! HEAD UP! Stop. DON’T STOP! Head down! HEAD UP!! Flustered, I walked Rocky to the instructor and explained my dilemma. Too late, I realized I was telling another human being that I’d been outsmarted by a horse. “Use your ab muscles,” she said. “Right,” I said. “Why didn’t I think to pick those up with my new boots and helmet?” Horrified, I notice my voice was cracking. The instructor turned her attention toward my more deserving friend, still trotting around the ring like a pro. “You need more confidence,” she said, striding away. I walked Rocky back to the rail fighting tears of shame and frustration. No one had ever told me I lacked confidence. I’d always been the brave one. I could demand a different lesson horse, but I wasn’t even enjoying myself. I was trapped between a Rocky and a hard place. Back at the barn, my friend asked me if I was okay, and the answer rushed from my lips before I could stop myself. “I quit.” A peace came over me. No one wants to be a quitter. But not every cause is a winner. Many of the things I committed to finishing in the past I did so due to lack of money, to desperation or inexperience. Now I was older and in a more comfortable place. I didn’t have to commit to winning the war against Rocky. Maybe it was time to redefine “quitting” as “making a wiser decision.” Enjoy your sweet feed, Rocky. You gave me bruises, you gave me scars, and you freed me from the tyranny of foolish commitments. You miserable old nag. Amy Vansant has been published in Surfer, Chesapeake Bay Magazine, McSweeney’s and other publications/sites. Read more at her humor blog at or on Twitter @kidfreeliving.

New location. Same old crew.

owners kate & legare smith are proud to be reunited with original Gaea yoga teachers: Ashley Kennedy • Kari Kim • Michelle Scarafile • Allison Zimmerman

over 25 classes a week ~ 7 days a week Located in Mount Pleasant on Coleman Blvd. a few doors down from Mozzo deli. look for the “Gaea Girl” in our coleman Blvd. window.


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Adjustment* no appointments no x-rays no start-up fee convenient hours *offer valid for first time visit only member rates start at $12.25 per visit

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augustw2012 101




The Women’s Party

Join the Center for Women and skirt! in celebrating a woman’s right to vote on August 26 when we throw down a party at Alhambra Hall in Mount Pleasant. Enjoy delicious hors d’oeuvres, wine and music by the Local Honeys, and be eligible to win a fabulous door prize for two that includes a stay at John Rutledge House Inn and dinner at Circa 1886.You’ll be able to register to vote or update your existing registration onsite as well as meet all the women who are currently running for or elected to local office.

Let’s get ready to rule in November! Sunday, August 26, Women’s Equality Day • Alhambra Hall, Mount Pleasant

6-9pm Tickets: $20 (advance) or $30 at the door (if available) • Purchase at

The first 100 people to purchase tickets online will receive a special skirt! goodie bag. Presenting S ponsor :

S ponsor s:


102  augustw2012



organic Spring Cleaning with a Conscience. Maid Pure uses only eco-friendly and organic products. 843.224.8659 Wardrobe Styling • Closet Consultations • Wedding Stylist

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mount pleasant 1220 Ben Sawyer Blvd, 971-5118 north charleston 7250 Rivers Ave, 797-0300 summerville 1209 N. Main St, 851-1693 9730 summerville Dorchester Rd, 225-3811 Goose creek 604 Saint James Ave, 797-0704 kniGhtsville 1605 Central Ave, 851-1460 Limited time offer rate. Rate plan contains a data usage level. Once you reach your usage level, your speeds will be reduced. See for details. Coverage details at Coverage not available everywhere. We may limit or terminate your service without prior notice if you no longer reside and have a making address in a Cricket-owned network coverage area or if a majority of your voice and/ or data usage is on a partner network during the previous month. Terms, conditions, and other restrictions apply. Sales tax not included. Muve Music and the Muve Music logo are trademarks of Cricket Communications, Inc. Patents pending. The Android robot is reproduced or modified from work created and shared by Google and used according to terms described in the Creative Commons 3.0 Attribution License. Google, Android, and other marks are all trademarks of Google, Inc. Other third-party trademarks are the property of their respective owners. Reprinted from <> on January 3, 2012, with permission. (copyright logo) 2012 Ziff Davis, Inc. All Rights reserved. (copywrite logo) 2012 Cricket Communications, Inc. 10339-6/12

Changing What’s Possible

Call 843-792-3531 for an appointment Downtown | Mt. Pleasant | North Charleston |

augustw2012 103

Meet One Item Always In My Purse: Handkerchief

Heather Koonse, the brains and thread-wielding brawn behind The Charleston Garment Manufactory, an upcoming resource center for local designers based on her work at The Rose Knot, a clothing alterations shop.

Favorite Shoes: Brocade and fur thrift store booties

My Lucky Charm: Necklace with tiny scissor pendant. I know, cliché.

My Gadget: Small stainless steel bird scissors, must have.

Right Now I’m Reading: The Bedwetter... by Sarah Silverman.

Favorite Restaurant: Alluette’s Cafe on Reid Street Where I Shop Locally: Ensemble Favorite Feminist: Bell Hooks My Secret Ambition: Learn martial arts I’d Like To Learn To: Speak Chinese A Goal for 2012: Expand the Rose Knot into the Charleston Garment Manufactory Tweet Me: @roseknotdesign

Photo by Alice Keeney

My Girl Crush: Tina Fey My Manicure: Clear Shoes I Covet: CYDWOQ My Guilty Pleasure: Katy Perry My Bad Habit: I interrupt people when they are talking.

104  augustw2012


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planetnikki [ a visual journal ]

The full moon last month was juicy enough to fry in a pan.

I followed it home

like a wolf stalking dinner, like a planet in search of an orbit,

like a teenager smelling pheromones, like a

lover licking its chops. There it was, hanging just out of reach. There I was, chasing

An apricot moon pie. Sailing away before I could get a sticky piece

what I can’t have, as usual.

to put under my pillow and

dream on.

The title song of Rufus Wainwright’s latest CD, Out of the Game, is my current favorite. His father, Loudon Wainwright III, also has a new CD out with two wrenching songs about family: “The Days That We Die” and “In C.” I’ve been having a Wainwright emo moment.

As is often the case, I bought this retro-looking wall hook from Wabi Sabi as a gift and ended up keeping it for myself.

Every few years, I get a craving for banana trees in my yard. Catching a glimpse of the big bold leaves out my window makes me think I’m on a desert island. This summer I planted four hoping for a little jungle instead of my usual desert-like field of sand spurs.

This knit tote by hansel from basel is the perfect size for a Mac Air, which I don’t own. But I thought that if I bought the bag, the computer might appear. Like, you know, a gift from the Nikki-centered universe.

Tokyo Milk is a brand I can’t resist because their packaging sucks me in every time. Their “Honey and the Moon” tin is one part candle, one part eye-candy. (And the title of a Joseph Arthur song I don’t seem to tire of hearing.)

Nikki Hardin is the founder and publisher of skirt! magazine. She blogs at 94  augustw2012 106  augustw2012

“I had the weekend hysterectomy.” With three active children, Bridgette couldn’t even consider the down time required after a traditional hysterectomy. Her gynecologist told her about robotic surgery. Bridgette chose the South Carolina Institute for Robotic Surgery at Trident Medical Center, the number one robotic surgery program in the Lowcountry. For more information on the Institute and robotic surgery, visit or call 843-797-FIND (3463).

“ I came out of surgery with just band aids, and I was at home the next morning. With absolutely no pain, my recovery was amazing.” Bridgette Manning, Goose Creek

Gynecologic Robotic Surgeons Christopher Accetta, MD | Christine Case, MD Ronnie M. Givens, MD | Jennifer Heinemann, MD Christine L. Hunter, MD | Ward Katsanis, MD James T. Martin, MD | Paula Orr, MD William M. Reeves, MD | Heather S. Schwartzberg, MD Molly E. Senokozlieff, MD

augustw2012 111



Photo by Sully Sullivan for The Scout Guide Charleston

The August 2012 Lessons Issue  

The August Lessons Issue-featuring local Charleston women, events, products and loyal advertisers

The August 2012 Lessons Issue  

The August Lessons Issue-featuring local Charleston women, events, products and loyal advertisers