Onlinemapril REAL

thereview VOL. 64, ISSUE 7

THE OFFICIAL STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF ST. JOHN’S SCHOOL

MAY 2013

SKETCHING THE FUTURE

Plans for Great Hall revealed, construction to commence spring 2014

BY IMAN CHARANIA AND ALYYAH MALICK

Construction on the Great Hall project is tentatively scheduled to begin in April 2014 and will require sacrifices from the school community, yet cornbread muffins will not be among the casualties.

Director of Finance and Operations Greg Swan said that the first stage of the construction will be the demolition of Winston Hall. The school wants the construction finished by August 2015. Final confirmation of the groundbreaking date will come in July.

While the architectural firm, Curtis and Windham, develops schematics into construction designs for the Great Hall, the administrative team, including Headmaster Mark Desjardins, the heads of all divisions, deans and counselors, have met to discuss how the school will operate during construction.

To cope with the loss of key areas of the school housed in Winston, including the cafeteria, the administration has been considering ideas like setting up a tent with a portable kitchen on the plaza, borrowing the kitchen of St. John the Divine or bringing in food trucks. All food service staff will be retained.

There will be other sacrifices. The North Gate on Claremont, which is used for carpool in the circle area, will be closed, and there will no longer be parking in the Claremont and Mewbourne lots.

“We’ll have to do carpool on the South Campus. We’re thinking about small changes in Lower School start time just to ease congestion,” Swan said. Middle School carpools may enter through Gate 12 to the senior lot, so Gate 9 on Alabama would be reserved for Lower and Upper School students.

Those who park on the North Campus in the Claremont and Mewbourne lots may park on the newly purchased Taub land.

“It’s a godsend for us to have this land. There’s plenty of room to park; it just won’t be as close as it was before the construction,” Swan said.

One of the issues that has caused the most consternation among students is the loss of Senior Country for the Class of 2015.

Swan talked to Dean Steve Popp and knows students are concerned about parking and about Senior Country.

“Change is difficult. I’d ask them to look at the positive. We’re trying to anticipate every challenge, but I’m confident that we won’t anticipate every one. We’ll just have to deal with things as they come,” he said.

Administrators will continue to meet with Student Affairs Council members to converse about the effects construction will have on the school.

“I think it’ll be important to have good dialogue and discussion,” Desjardins said. “Let’s have a discussion on ways we can look for alternative venues or alternative areas, so that we can minimize impact.”

During construction, those displaced from Winston, like College Counseling and Admissions, will move to other locations on campus.

College Counseling and Admissions will take over the Advancement and Business Office spaces in the Quad, while the Business Office and Advancement move off campus, possibly to an office space near the school or to the Taub property.

Continued on Page 3

DRAWINGS BY CURTIS & WINDHAM ARCHITECTS

A new look Winston Hall, which currently contains the cafeteria, art rooms, Senior Country, Admissions and College Counseling, will be demolished next year to make way for the Great Hall. The top two pictures are side and aerial views, respectively, from Claremont Lane (the building on the far right of the middle image is Mewbourne Hall). The new building will include a larger dining hall, as pictured in the bottom image.

CENTERSPREAD A look at the school’s most viral social media sensation

thisedition

NEWS FEATURES ENTERTAINMENT BEYOND CENTERSPREAD OPINIONS SPORTS ODDS & ENDS

2 4 7 8 10 12 15 18

2news THE REVIEW

MAY 2013

SOLAR POWER

Eco-Marathon races futuristic cars

newsbriefs

BY REBECCA CHEN

Advanced Caprice’s dance schedule will expand from three periods a week to five next year. The class is taught by Heidi Arouty and Dorrell Martin. Head of Dance Department Victoria Arizpe may also instruct the class, which will occasionally share studio space with Terpsichore.

“We changed [the schedule] to pull the advanced dancers up. There has been a gap between levels, with Terpsichore at five days a week and [Caprice] at three,” Arizpe said. “The new schedule will give more time to warm up and build up skill rather than just learn choreography.”

Daniel Brenner

Efficiency is key After being disqualified last year, the SJS Eco-Marathon team wiped the slate clean for this year’s competition.

Their design resulted in an 11th place finish.

After failing to qualify last year, the Maverick solar car team finished in 11th place in the Battery-Electric Prototype category of the Shell Eco-Marathon.

“Considering that we were going against teams comprised of seniors all studying engineering with tens of thousands of dollars of funding, I felt great that we built a robust car that could really hold its own,” junior Michael Timte said.

The competition started in 1939 but has only been in the Americas for seven years. Students attempt to construct a car that can travel the farthest using the least amount of energy.

The Maverick car finished with an average energy usage of 187.2 kilometers per kilowatt hour with an average speed of 15 miles per hour. The car could travel for 10 kilometers using only 50 calories.

“Efficiency was partially dependent on how aerodynamic our car was,” sophomore Akshay Jaggi said. “Vasia (Pobedinski) designed the shell to minimize drag and air resistance, and we constructed it out of low-drag aluminum sheets, plastic paneling, and heat-shrunk plastic to keep the weight low.”

The one-seater car weighed 43 kilograms, about 95 pounds.

“We all bounced ideas back and forth to get the most efficient, lightweight, mechanical components possible.” Timte said.

The Maverick car also featured 0.17 square meters of solar panels.

“We decided to add solar panels in order to deduct from the overall energy usage of the motor,” sophomore Raymond Yuan said. “We incorporated them onto the car by mounting them on a frame, covering it with lexan [a thin, flexible material similar to plexiglass] and mounting the solar array to the frame.”

The team purchased materials like solar panels and had the sheet metal professionally cut, yet they assembled the car completely on their own. Timte welded the steering wheel and other items with no formal training.

The team completely redesigned their car, disassembling their previous car and drawing up new plans.

“When we were at the contest last year, we figured out that a lot of the stuff we did was not the best way to do it,” junior Jake Nyquist said. “We went back and redesigned everything from scratch.”

The team received about $4,000 from the school this year, double the amount of last year’s funding. Five additional sponsors helped them collect enough money to build a new car.

Leading up to the competition, the team was plagued by mishaps, including an engine malfunction one week before the competition that forced them to replace it with little time to test the new one.

JAKE NYQUIST

In their practice run on Friday, April 5, the team completed two sets of ten laps without any incidents.

On Saturday, the day started with another mishap: the battery fell out.

“Since we had used up the charge on the battery, we could not use it again and had to wait until the afternoon,” Nyquist said.

On the last day, the steering wheel fell off the car, and 45 minutes before the event ended, the team had a flat tire. They also experienced frequent brake problems.

Even after all races were over, the team’s struggles were not. After getting an incorrect measurement on the energy input from the solar panel, they were told they had placed higher than they actually did.

“Because of the solar panel malfunction, our position fluctuated a lot,” Nyquist said. “In the end, we got eleventh place, and that was assuming we had zero solar production.”

Other team members included seniors Brett Gustein and William Breckwoldt, juniors Jeffrey Fastow, Jake Peacock, Philip Taffet, and Jo Chen and sophomore Deven Lahoti.

Next year the team wants to enter two cars in the Eco-Marathon, one in the Battery Electric category and the other in a different category, probably Gasoline.

“Two categories will not only allow more people to get involved but will also allow us some more workspace,” Jaggi said.

Musicians, singers and dancers showcased their talents in the return of the Fine Arts assembly April 24.

This celebration of student artistic achievement was re-started this year after a one-year hiatus to expose more students to the Fine Arts department.

The prior incarnation of the assembly included awards. That portion has been moved to a joint ceremony with athletics May 16.

Megan Routbort ECOS, led by president Caroline Spears, celebrated Earth Week with presentations and informative displays.

Members demonstrated the importance of renewable energy by using solar power to make cookies April 24. Other topics addressed include ocean conservation, endangered species and air quality.

Senior Sonya Bennett-Brandt said, “Earth Week is a great time to raise awareness about key issues in an engaging way.”

Cara Maines

The Desjardins opened their house to a swarm of juniors eager for their first taste of senior year and free fajitas. Juniors voted on their bumper sticker design before enjoying Mexican food and desserts served by volunteer parents and cafeteria staff.

“It was really nice and well planned,” junior Charlotte Paine said. “ I thought it was a good way for our grade to celebrate becoming seniors.”

Lydia Liu and Alyyah Malick

MAY 2013

THE REVIEW

3

BACK TO THE CLASSICS

Certamen team clinches trip to nationals

BY KANCHANA RAJA

Latin students returned from the Texas State Junior Classical League (TSJCL) competition, April 13, after sweeping the Competitive Certamen tournament at the Advanced level for the first time in SJS history.

With a narrow five-point win over a composite team from San Antonio, the winning team of senior Savannah Ezelle, juniors George Davies, Anna Huang and Alyyah Malick and sophomore Vinay Gajula will proceed to the Nationals (NJCL) in Las Vegas, July 22-27.

“In all honesty, I still can’t fully believe it.

San Antonio and Austin are amazing teams with players from several schools and some home schooled students as well,” Ezelle said. “These teams have long histories of winning, and we beat them. The Houston area hasn’t won since 2001, and SJS has never won.”

At Nationals, the certamen team will compete against 30 other state champions to answer classics-themed questions in a quiz bowl format.

“I’m definitely excited to compete on a national level and meet other Latin students from around the country,” Huang said.

The certamen team experienced a scare when they found out that the TSJCL did not purchase tickets for the winning state team to attend the NJCL, and there was no more space available. The shortage was due to a move to a smaller hosting venue at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas.

“NJCL wouldn’t give us preference over other normal convention-goers despite the fact that we were a state certamen team.

They thought it wasn’t fair,” Davies said.

After a stressful week in which students and parents brainstormed ways to attend Nationals, the team was relieved to learn

Multipurpose Great Hall will accomodate future school growth Continued from Front Page

COURTESY PHOTO

Not a dead language For the first time, the Advanced Certamen team swept its division at the Texas State Junior Classical League. The SJS delegation pictured above included Anna Huang, Alyyah Malick, Katherine Wu, Vinay Gajula, Nikolai Hood, Savannah Ezelle, Jake Peacock and Joseph Caplan.

that they had been taken off the wait list.

In addition to the team win, all 29 SJS students who attended the competition earned distinctions in the five-subject Pentathlon test. Davies won first place in Ancient Geography, sophomore Henry Paradise won first in Reading Comprehen-

sion and Huang earned the top score in Classical Mythology.

The team is coached by Latin teacher Mindy Wolfrom.

“We had a lot of people go to JCL this year, even a few seniors. We also took some students from the Greek class,” Wolfrom

said. “I’m very impressed. The students put in a lot of hard work.”

Davies said, “I think that JCL is a strong testament that Latin is not a dead language, nor will this generation be the one that lets it become so.”

Breakthrough Houston’s office, currently next to the bookstore, will move into either the history or English department office. The bookstore will move to S104, and the art rooms in Winston may temporarily shift to the Quad or another location.

The Great Hall, which will replace Winston Hall, will contain more than enough space for those displaced by construction.

Underground parking will replace the lost spaces. The Great Hall will serve as a dining hall and community center while also housing Admissions and College Counseling. A meeting space will replace W205 and the Fine Arts Department will utilize about 5000 square feet above the kitchen.

“I think there will be huge benefits to the new facility. Our current food service area is small, cramped and not very attractive. The cafeteria really isn’t a place that students go to during the day other than to eat,” Swan said. “We think that this new community center, the Great Hall and the new Quad that will be a part of it will be a great place for students and faculty to interact.”

The Great Hall will cost $40 to $45 million.

“The school has not yet announced a capital campaign as the overall scope and objectives of the campaign remain in the formative stages,” Head of Advancement

Mark Dini said. “However, some initial lead, pace-setting gifts have been secured.”

The school will finance the Taub property purchase and Great Hall construction jointly with a combination of contributions and long-term debt, which will allow the school to get fund and develop the construction of the Great Hall and the Taub property.

“Over 30 years, there will probably be some growth of the school that will take care of some of the long-term debt, and there will probably be some small incremental increases in the tuition starting in 2015,” Swan said.

The Board has created a committee to study this school growth and plans for the future.

“We’ll have conversations about what’s sacred to SJS, the non-negotiables like class size and teacher-student ratio. As we look at what our potential to grow in the future is, we will make sure that we’re not sacrificing what makes the community work,” Desjardins said.

The large size of the Great Hall will support potential school growth. Winston was built in 1970, when the entire school population was 780 students. Today, with a population of 1,274 students, the school has outgrown Winston, which was designed to serve up to 400 students.

“The Great Hall is a building with the functionality and the size to position the school to accommodate more students.

Winston is already a building that has lost its usefulness,” Desjardins said. “We have made sure in designing the Great Hall to look out for where St. John’s might be 25 to 30 years from now.”

Though construction will come with many challenges, Desjardins is confident that it is worth the inconvenience. He plans to devote a section of the school’s new website, which will be launched in August, to construction and its impact.

Swan said, “A lot of my concerns are mitigated by the fact that I know what a great job Bellows Construction is going to do for us, what a great job they did during our previous construction [from 2004 to 2006 on the North Campus] and how much they understand how the school works.”

“To me it’s all about how you approach it. There’s no question that everybody is going to have to have patience. I think through adversity our true character is revealed,” Desjardins said. “I would hope that we are all looking at this through the perspective of ‘Does this make our community better?’ And I think that the answer is yes.”

4features THE REVIEW

MAY 2013

GERMAN COWGIRL

One year in the American life of Sophie Rosahl

BY MCKENNA GESSNER right in.

“Sophie’s in my advisory, so I got to know her from day one,” junior Daniel Bland said. ”I will miss her humor and wit when she leaves this year.”

“Sophie has blended into the SJS community nicely,” junior Elise Viguet said. “It really feels like she is part of our class.”

In her new academic environment, Rosahl challenged herself by taking demanding honors courses such as Organic Chemistry.

“To go to a new school and sign up for one of the hardest classes is extremely commendable,” chemistry teacher Roxana Allen said.

Outside of the classroom, Rosahl dribbled balls with the field hockey team, swam laps in the Lamar pool and served aces on the tennis court.

“Sophie and I got to know each other in the pool,” junior Jeffrey Fastow said. “In between fervent gasps of air, we quickly became great friends. She’s become an integral part of the school community, and I hope we will continue our brief but awesome friendship throughout high school and beyond.”

Rosahl has also become an important

part of her new host family.

Ms. Shafer described Rosahl as a “wonderful role model” to the Shafer’s seventhgrade daughter Katy.

“It’s going to be very hard when we have to say goodbye,” Shafer said.

As she finishes out the year, Rosahl reflects on a few of her favorite experiences so far: traveling to New York, celebrating Christmas with the Shafers and going on the Big Bend trip.

“I have a whole new family and a new home base in the world,” Rosahl said. “I have learned so much about American culture and society and made so many new friends.”

Stars, stripes and Storied Cloisters “What I like most about SJS is the student body,” Sophie Rosahl said. “Everyone is so nice and open.”

ANNA HUANG

scenes behind Business Office the

“I’m Sophie,” the strawberry blondehaired girl says, shaking the hand of her tennis opponent. As she makes her way to the middle of the court, she flashes a smile at her cheering teammates on the sidelines.

To anyone watching this exchange, it’s easy to see how seamlessly German foreign exchange student Sophie Rosahl has blended into not only the girls’ tennis team but also the SJS community.

“I had wanted to study abroad for about a year and a half before I came to SJS,” said Rosahl.

Each year, SJS partners with American Secondary Schools for International Students and Teachers to bring a foreign exchange student to campus. World Languages Chair Aline Means helps to pair these students with host families.

At the end of last year, after discussing the responsibilities of hosting with Means, Upper School math teacher Kimm Shafer and her husband Eric (’89) offered their home.

Upon Rosahl’s arrival in August, she only had two days to get situated with the Shafers before the first day of school. With her impressive expanse of knowledge and charismatic personality, Rosahl soon fit

VIRGINIA WALLER

Money management Though few students know the true purpose of the room next to the photography lab, the Business Office manages many of the expenses directly related to community life.

BY JESSICA LEE Every time a student buys Chick-fil-A at the concession stand, happily munches on soft-serve during lunch or grabs a ballpoint pen from the bookstore, someone in Q113 always knows about that purchase.

Home of the Business Office, Q113 is where seven money-savvy members of the SJS community turn the concessions, cafeteria and bookstore expenses into numerical figures that show up on parents’ monthly bills.

The Business Office, which has been around since the incipient days of SJS, has managed to maintain a low profile despite its involvement in many aspects of the school, from food service to the bookstore to security.

The Business Office houses the school’s receptionist (Beverly Harrington), human resources department, staff hiring team, financial aid granters and mailroom managers.

“We pay all the bills, and we manage tuition and prepare financial statements every year,” Controller Becky Kalmick said. “We take care of everything that has to do with school costs, student accounts or money.”

Although few students know the whereabouts or purpose of the Business Office, the staff actually connects with members of the community each day.

“Students come in if they want to mail something or ask about the budgets for student clubs like yearbook or The Review,” Kalmick said.

“They also take the recycling bin every Friday,” Director of Finance and Operations Greg Swan jokingly added.

In addition, Swan teaches a fall economics class to seniors.

Even though the Business Office did not take part in the Board of Trustee’s recent decision to acquire nearby land, they helped set up financing for the purchase.

“It was an expensive piece of land, and we had to pay the seller in such a short amount of time,” Swan said.

The anonymity of the Business Office has sparked clever hypotheses regarding its purpose.

Sophomore Martha Jamail said, “I think there is a secret pizza oven in the Business Office, because they are always rolling in the dough.”

MAY 2013

THE REVIEW

5

INTERNATIONAL RELATIONS

Getting schooled: students immersed in study-abroad

BY JAKE CHOTINER

CAROLINE CRADDOCK (ZARAGOZA, SPAIN) When junior Caroline Craddock decided to travel to Zaragoza, Spain, for her junior year, she imagined a life filled with Spanish stereotypes like flamenco dancers and bull fights. Though her expectations were not quite fulfilled, her time in Spain has certainly been exciting.

“I have wanted to do School Year Abroad (SYA) since seventh grade,” Craddock said. “I have always been really interested in traveling, and I love the Spanish language, so Spain seemed like the perfect fit.”

SYA allows students to travel anywhere inside Spain’s borders, so Craddock has been to many places, including Cataluña, Madrid, Andalucía and the Canary Islands.

“You meet so many interesting people,

see beautiful parts of Spain and really learn to be independent and plan a trip with transportation, lodging and a budget,” Craddock said. “In March, I am planning on biking the ‘Camino de Santiago,’ a pilgrimage route in the North of Spain that ends in Santiago de Compostela, the legendary site of the apostle Jane’s tomb.”

Although the transition into Spanish culture was tough, Craddock says that the time she has spent in Spain has been one of the best experiences she has ever had.

Craddock said, “The places you get to see, the relationships you make, and becoming a part of a different culture make the experience completely worth the difficult transition.”

COURTESY PHOTO

Sauntering in Spain Junior Caroline Craddock has wanted to participate in a study-abroad program ever since she was in middle school. Over the past year, Craddock has had the opportunity to practice her Spanish skills and encounter the many different cultural aspects of Spain.

STACIE DUDLEY (WASHINGTON, D.C.) This semester, junior Stacie Dudley traveled to Washington, D.C., for The School for Ethics and Global Leadership (SEGL), wanting to experience a change both in scenery and academics.

“The program’s curriculum and focus on current events really appealed to me,” Dudley said. “Living in DC seemed like an amazing opportunity.”

At SEGL, students get a chance to spend an entire day, dubbed “Odyssey,” walking around the city alone.

“We don’t know what our next location will be,” Dudley said. “We don’t even know what question we’ll be asked until we get there.”

Dudley has had few difficulties communicating with her friends back home.

“You really get to know who your better friends are by seeing who makes an effort to keep in touch,” Dudley said. “I text and call Houstonians pretty regularly, and, while I miss them, I know living in D.C. is temporary, so I focus on loving it here while I can.”

Although living in another city can be tough, Dudley strongly recommends SEGL to anyone interested.

“Apply and see what happens,” Dudley said. “This is the best decision I’ve ever made, and this has been the best semester of my life.”

COURTESY PHOTO

Debating in D.C. While in the nation’s capital, junior Stacie Dudley has had the opportunity to attend a multitude of events, including the Vital Voices Global Leadreship Awards. The location of the School of Ethics and Global Leadership in D.C. helps facilitate political immersion.

RYAN FRIEDMAN (BEIJING, CHINA) Ryan Friedman traveled to Beijing, expecting the trip to be completely different from anything he had ever done before.

“I decided to do SYA to master the Chinese language, learn about Chinese society, and get away from home and be on my own,” the junior said.

Through SYA, Friedman has been given the opportunity to explore China in ways he never imagined possible. One of his favorite memories is when he met the Yellow Hat monks in Greater Tibet.

“They almost all have iPhones, which seemingly goes against their self-deprivation ideals,” Friedman said. “However, as long as it doesn’t get in the way of their prayers, they think iPhones are too valu-

able to pass up.”

Although Friedman keeps in touch with his American friends, he has tried to limit his conversations with them.

“We were informed one of the first days that it gets in the way of complete cultural immersion, ”Friedman said. “Therefore, I use mostly email to communicate with the people back home.”

Although a SYA trip is difficult, Friedman strongly recommends the program to anyone interested.

“It’s definitely the best high school experience you’ll have,” Friedman said. “It helps you mature, grow as a person and learn about all sorts of new cultures and cool things.”

COURTESY PHOTO

Buddies in Beijing Bundled up against the chilly weather, junior Ryan Friedman and his SYA companions visit locations around Beijing that reflect the cultural history of China. SYA China also organized for its participants to explore other regions of China such as Mongolia and Tibet.

MAY 2013

TRIBUTE TO THE MASTERS

entertainment7 THE REVIEW

Dance concert features eclectic mix of choreography styles

BY EMILY SHERRON As Terpsichore struck their final pose at the dance concert dress rehearsal, lonely but enthusiastic cheering erupted from the few parents and students sitting in the audience. Backstage, volunteer moms ushered the Caprice classes into lines for the finale while dance teacher Victoria Arizpe (’86) tried one last time to channel choreographer Martha Graham through the yellow-orange lighting on stage.

This year’s theme for the dance concert was “Tribute to the Masters.” Each dance was inspired by a famous choreographer, names such as Bob Fosse and Martha Graham that provided an added challenge for both the dancers and teachers.

“To me, dance is so much more than just movement,” Arizpe said. “Dance is all about expressing angst, joy, sadness. That is what is challenging for me, as well as the other choreographers; we are not satisfied until each piece conveys emotion.”

To orient the audience, the dance teachers enlisted senior Josh Thomas to make videos about each choreographer.

“I loved the theme because it made for an extremely diverse show, and we got to explore styles that we’re not usually exposed to,” Terpsichore senior Sam Burkett said. “Learning about Martha Graham and Alvin Ailey was one of the best parts of the show.”

“It was definitely a challenge and a learning experience to accurately reflect the styles of the different masters,” said fellow Terpsichore senior Marshal Zhang.

Terpsichore seniors faced another challenge in their final dance of the show, “No One Knows Who We Are.” The eight senior dancers collaborated in choreographing this dance as “future masters,” a process that proved to be tedious but rewarding.

Zhang said, “It was difficult putting all seven parts together and smoothing the transitions between sections.”

“We struggled a lot with the senior piece,” Burkett said. “It was difficult to form a consensus on the song and costumes, and we did fight a bit. We learned so much, though, and we all grew closer because of the

experience. Collaborating in the creative process is really difficult, but so worth it.”

Choreography challenges aside, Terpsichore also missed the presence of sophomore dancer Isabel Wallace-Green, who has been in the ensemble for the past two years but was unable to perform due to a recent knee injury. Despite the fact that she could not participate, she was an integral part of the process and performance, cheering on her fellow dancers from the audience.

Before the show, Wallace-Green predicted, “I’m going to start crying in the audience.”

Afterwards, she said, “I love the seniors in Terps to death, so it was really hard to not be up there performing with them. I tried to stay positive but it was hard.”

Dancers in all levels eagerly showcased their talents in the concert with works choreographed by Arizpe, Heidi Arouty and Dorrell Martin.

Sophomore Rodrigo Ojeda, a Caprice I dancer, said, “I loved the dance show last year and this year, I was excited to show off my swag.”

Senior Terpsichore dancer Natalie Plummer certainly had a memorable night when the stage door crushed her big toe right before the final bows.

“My thinking was that if it was going to happen, I’m glad it happened when it did,” Plummer said. “I got to perform all four dances.”

Like Wallace-Green, Plummer received a tremendous amount of support from Terpsichore. Senior Allie Robinson and junior Kristen Santiago even carried her on stage so that she could take her last bow as a senior. Plummer then went to the emergency room where doctors attempted to reattach her toenail.

“Although it stinks to be injured, and my toe will probably never be the same, it sure made for a more memorable night,” Plummer said.

Wallace-Green’s prediction came true come performance night when she sat front and center, cheering, laughing and crying.

Just dance Renee Roberts (above) and her Intermediate Caprice class adopted Katherine Dunham’s style in a modern African-American dance. Terpsichore dancers Caroline Cowan, Marsha Zhang and Sam Burkett (below) performed “Eyes,” choreographed by Dorrell Martin in the style of Mia Michaels.

PHOTOS COURTESY OF ANGY GROEN

MAVERICK MUNCHIES Torchy’s Tacos Casual Mexican food Two Houston-area locations, including 2411 S Shepherd Open for breakfast at 7am (8am Sat. and Sun.). Closes at 10pm or 11pm (Fri. and Sat.) $8-12 for typical meal

Austin favorite comes to town

BY IAN MELLOR-CRUMMEY Torchy’s Tacos has been a favorite of those who frequent Austin for years, but until recently their tacos have been a special treat previously unobtainable in Houston. Now, with two locations, one on Shepherd past Westheimer and a brand new one in the Rice Village on Morningside, taco fans can satisfy their Torchy’s cravings all year round.

Torchy’s offers a plethora of deliciously unhealthy options, ranging from the reasonably traditional chicken fajita taco, to the downright obscene Trailer Park taco, which if you take it “hillbilly style,” contains fried chicken, chorizo, bacon, queso, cilantro, onions, shredded cheese, green chiles, pico de gallo, and poblano ranch dressing.

Some of their best options, like the aforementioned hillbilly style, come from their secret menu, which is easily found with a quick google search.

If you’re looking for something healthier, you should probably just eat somewhere else. Even Torchy’s vegetarian options generally incorporate liberal use of a fryer.

Their fountain drinks all use real sugar as opposed to corn syrup, and Jarritos Mexican sodas are always available. Two to three tacos is usually enough to satisfy anyone and induce a small food coma.

If you are interested in great tacos and are not counting calories, Torchy’s is sure to please.

8beyond THE REVIEW

IN STYLE

MAY 2013

DESIGN LIKE BACH

MAI

L’Africanisme “The silhouettes and shapes remained very much inspired by the clothing of the French Baroque period while I developed surface treatments to reflect the African influence,” Bach Mai said.

Though Bach Mai (’07) shares his first name with an esteemed 18th-century composer, he actually belongs in a completely separate artistic category — fashion designer — one that includes figures such as Donatella Versace, Coco Chanel and Jean Paul Gaultier.

Mai began his design career while working on an ISP during his sophomore year at SJS. “A crucial point was when I saw another student’s ISP final project in fashion,” Mai said. “I remember thinking, ‘Wow, that’s actually really cool.’”

The roots of Mai’s forte in fashion can be traced back further than his high school years. Like other fashion aficionados, he remembers being interested in clothing when he was younger. That interest gradually led him to costume design before culminating in a true appreciation for fashion and a desire to design his own clothing.

“My first piece for my ISP was a terrible little skirt — a three-layered chiffon skirt with a black satin waistband,” Mai said.

Soon enough, Mai found himself designing for his classmates and teachers. Former history teacher Bela Thacker now owns his first skirt, and many SJS alums wore his pieces to prom and other formals.

“The girls were so understanding,” Mai said. “They got these dresses that looked great, but the construction and finishing was absolutely terrible.”

Before delving into his ISP, Mai had only taken one sewing class. The remainder of his knowledge came from his ISP, which he completed while simultaneously juggling schoolwork. Managing school and fashion was rarely a problem for Mai.

BY LYDIA LIU “You push, and you push, and you never for a B.F.A in fashion design from Parsons, stop pushing at SJS,” Mai said. “I wasn’t which included designing a senior thesis designing collections at the time, just a collection of five to seven looks. dress here and there. It wasn’t that difficult “My main goal for my thesis collection balancing schoolwork.” was to really represent my aesthetic,” Mai John Galliano’s Dior Haute Couture said. “I wanted to show my love of fashion, Spring/Summer 2004 collection was an haute couture and color, and for the collecepiphany for the then 15-year-old. tion to be as ‘me’ as possible.”

“I remember that collection being one Orientalism, the depiction of Eastern that I really connected to in a very special cultures by Westerners during the French way,” Mai said. “That was actually the beginning of my love for couture.”

Haute couture, which is made-to-order, high-quality garments that often require tremendous attention to detail, has dictated Mai’s creations ever since.

After his senior year at SJS, Mai enrolled in the Baroque period, inspired Mai’s final projfive-year B.A./B.F.A. program at The New ect, “L’Africanisme.” Mai approached the School in New York. The program allows concept with a twist: instead of looking students to pursue a liberal arts education east, he imagined that these designers at the New School’s Eugene Lang Collooked south toward Africa. lege as well as dual concentrate in either “I have always been inspired by the design or jazz and contemporary music.

French Baroque,” Mai said, “but it was Mai received his B.A. in the arts, a dual while I was studying African dance forms concentration in dance and physics and that it hit me to cross reference these two a minor in French from Eugene Lang. In cultures. I ended up narrowing in on how addition, Mai completed the requirements Orientalism actually influences the aes-

“I would not be where I am now without the support of the SJS community. How far I’ve gotten was because of all the support I received as a student.”

Bach Mai (’07)

COURTESY OF BACH MAI

thetic of the French Baroque. I noticed the Oriental influence was relegated to surface design while form was still very much based on the aesthetic of the French Court at the time.”

Though Mai officially began working on his collection during senior year, he began researching, pre-sketching and preparing as early as junior year.

“It was a very-print focused collection,” Mai said. “My main print was ‘Toile d’Afrique,’ a play on Toile de Jouy, which was iconic of French culture; however, instead of using scenes of the French countryside, I created mine using scenes of the African Serengeti.”

During Thesis Week, students present their collections to a panel of experts who vote and select nominees for Designer of the Year. Mai, who was among the nominees, then presented his work to an even more prestigious panel, which selected him and two other candidates for Designer of the Year.

“I tried to achieve what I consider to be the essence of haute couture in my thesis so that every single detail of the garments is considered and designed,” Mai said.

Despite the training and inspirations Mai has received from the fashion world, he still credits his early success to his time at SJS. “I would not be where I am now without the support of the SJS community,” Mai said. “I owe them all such a debt of gratitude for their support when I was fumbling around, not knowing what I was doing.”

MAY 2013

THE REVIEW

9

LAX IN CHICAGO

Carroll transitions from Caven to Northwestern Sophomore leads Wildcats in pursuit of ninth NCAA championship in ten years

BY ELLIOT CHEUNG The crowd erupts as the lacrosse ball sails past the goalie’s stick and into the net.

Amidst the stadium lights, star Jessica Carroll (’11) watches herself on the big screen.

For her, this moment is just one of many in her life as a lacrosse star at Northwestern University.

Carroll first began playing lacrosse when she wanted to try something different in middle school. When spring season rolled around in seventh grade, Carroll picked up a lacrosse stick for the first time.

“I didn’t like it a lot at first,” Carroll said, “but once I started getting the hang of it, it really started to grow on me.”

In the following years, Carroll honed her skills and soon became a star lacrosse player. She played on varsity all four years of high school and was voted captain her senior year. That season, she also led the team in scoring.

While in high school, Carroll was a twotime Texas all-state honoree and was on the U.S. All-American lacrosse team twice.

During her junior year, Carroll helped her team take home not only the SPC championship but also the state title as well. The following year, the girls’ lacrosse team won SPC and state yet again.

After graduation, Carroll continued to play lacrosse, taking her talents to North-

western University’s Division I lacrosse team. For Carroll, the transition from high school to college lacrosse was not easy.

“Lacrosse at Northwestern is a lot more fast-paced and competitive,” Carroll said. “The girls I’m playing with here are from places where lacrosse is as big as football is in Texas, so they’ve been playing their whole lives. It was a huge change.”

COURTESY OF NCAA Despite the change of pace, Down the field Jessica Carroll, who led the SJS lacrosse team to back-to-back SPC and state championships, Carroll continued to work hard now plays midfielder for Northwestern University. When not holding a lacrosse stick, Carroll hangs out with on the field, winning big with friends and studies anthropology.

Northwestern. Her freshman year, Northwestern won its Carroll said. “I’m still able to participate in and studies complement each other. seventh NCAA Championship other things that I enjoy doing.”

“Playing lacrosse has impacted my life in against Syracuse, 8-6, a game in which Off the field, Carroll plans to major in more ways than I think I’ve even realized,” Carroll played as a starter. anthropology.

She has to balance the heavy Carroll said. “It kind of forces me to be As a sophomore, Carroll earned a demands of playing Division I sports a very hard worker as both a student and starting position as midfielder. Carroll has with the rigorous academic workload at an athlete, and I feel like it’s made me recorded ten ground balls, four caused Northwestern, which can be exhausting. mentally tougher.” turnovers and nine draw controls this seaHer years at SJS have prepared her for the Northwestern is aiming for their third son, along with a goal and two assists. demands of college life, though. consecutive championship, having won Even though Carroll dominates on the “I feel like I’m really able to enjoy the eight of the nine previous NCAA titles. lacrosse field, she does not let the sport full college experience using everything They finished their regular season 15-2, dominate her free time.

I’ve learned at SJS,” Carroll said. and playoffs begin in May. “Lacrosse is a pretty important part of For Carroll, her lacrosse and academic my life because it’s something I have fun lives are not mutually exclusive. Her sports doing, but it doesn’t take over my life,”

Catching Up With Former Lacrosse Captains

SARAH URDAHL (’12)

CAROLINE GIBSON (’11)

LACEY RYBARCZYK (’10)

Right now, I’m a member of the varsity field hockey team at Duke.

I really believe that being a leader at the high school level prepared me for what is expected of me on a Division I team full of leaders. Although I don’t get to play lacrosse here at Duke due to field hockey, I cheer on the team at all our home games. I hope to play club lacrosse during spring of my senior year once I am done with field hockey.

I am currently a member of UVA’s club lacrosse team. We are very competitive and went to Nationals in Colorado for the first time last year. UVA has a particularly lacrosse-saturated campus culture, so having experience with the sport gives me a way to connect with almost anyone and has opened up many opportunities for me academically, socially and professionally.

I played lacrosse my freshman year at SMU, but then I was invited to join the cheerleading team. I am now on the competitive cheerleading squad, which has sadly caused me to have less time to dedicate to lacrosse. We will soon leave for Daytona, Fla., to compete in the NCAA National Championship.

I still play with the lacrosse team when I can, but I haven’t been able to participate much since my freshman year.

SJS CONFESSIONS REVEALED

BY AMY KANG AND MEGAN ROUTBORT

3893 submissions. 603 posts. 872 likes. Created February 12. Following a trend that has swept through schools across the nation, the SJS Confessions Facebook page has grown quickly, becoming a forum for discussion and support among students, faculty and alumni.

COMMUNITY

SPEAKING UP

As one confession read: “In spite of what parents and administrators are saying, I think this page is bringing us closer together more than turning us against one another. Some serious 9-12ing going on.”

The SJS Confessions page on Facebook has had a positive impact on not only the student body, but also faculty, parents and alumni.

“Confessions has elements of community,” junior Cameron Hull said. “Everyone is really nice on it, and it brings everyone together in a sort of community secrecy.”

According to the page’s analytics, only 26.6 percent of its followers are between 13 and 17 years old. 43.5 percent are between 18 and 24 years old while the remaining 29.9 percent are over the age of 25, most likely alumni, faculty and parents.

“One of my students told me that he thinks my posting makes SJS feel more tightly knit since as both an alum and a teacher, I can share my feelings, responses and insights with current students,” Upper School teacher Dwight Raulston said.

“There are many situations as an SJS student where I’ve felt alone,” sophomore Meghna Dara said. “With Confessions I’ve come to realize that I’m not the only one with these feelings and difficulties.”

“If anything, Confessions has taught us that the grades get along better than we think,” the page’s administrator said.

While SJS Confessions has inspired an increased camaraderie within the school community, discussion and support remain limited to the internet.

In response to a string of confessions revealing depression, junior Connor Albert reached out through comments, disclosing his own experiences and offering support and conversation offline.

“I just think it’s good that people know that they’re not the only ones that are dealing with problems,” Albert said. “Nobody has taken up my offer, but it’s the thought that counts.”

While there is certainly a forum for discourse at SJS, the Confessions page provides opportunities that aren’t always available at school.

“Debate and discussion tend to be more formalized here, but Confessions gives more opportunities for casual conversation,” senior Guan Chen said. “It adds another layer to what we have.”

With over 800 followers, the Confessions page offers a forum to those who may otherwise have difficulty making their voices heard.

“Confessions is an equalizer — everyone has a chance to post, and that post will be read with the same frequency that others will,” Chen said. “It’s no longer selective as far as who gets heard and who doesn’t.”

SJS Confessions also provides a forum for individuals to bring up issues that they’re too uncomfortable to talk about at school, like depression, pressure and eating disorders.

“It gives a much-needed voice to those with secrets they want to keep confidential,” junior Christopher Rech said. “Confessions allows students to get the support they need from the community without being perceived differently.”

The page has fostered sharing that is unparalleled within the school due to its community-based nature and anonymity.

“When discussing beliefs, a person’s level of comfort depends almost entirely on themselves,” Dara said.

Lack of comfort with opposing beliefs and the potential for controversy have inhibited the discussion of certain topics on the page.

“We’d like to stay away from controversial confessions concerning volatile topics that are likely to explode into disagreements, especially religion,” the administrator said. Past posts on the page concerning discomfort with religious beliefs and discrimination have been deleted, and the administrator has chastised students for using invectives.

“People want to have a belief they feel comfortable with and shut off anything that might contradict it, which can be problematic because then they start to hinder themselves and others,” Rech said.

Though the page has made strides in fos-

tering discussion of topics usually neglected in school, there are no indications that the admin will lift the ban on controversial debates.

“The real problem is that people see discourse as something to be avoided entirely,” Rech said. “And sadly, I think that SJS Confessions would lose popularity and even legitimacy if it would allow even mere formal arguments.”

DANGER ON THE INTERNET The central appeal of the Confessions page is its anonymity. Though Facebook policies require user’s names to be attached to their posts, the Confessions page circumvents these restrictions through the use of an external site called SurveyMonkey, a loophole that gives rise to a lack of accountability.

According to the SJS Handbook, “Students’ behavior online should match their behavior offline: they should exemplify honesty, respect, and responsibility.” Yet, with anonymity on the internet, maintaining the moral standard becomes increasingly difficult.

The administrators of the page have been instrumental in negating the potentially harmful effects of anonymity with their careful filtering.

“The goal of the page is to provide a space where teachers, students and alumni can relate to each other’s opinions,” the admin said.

Holding true to its mission, anonymity is not used to enable vulgar posts and slander, but instead to protect the identity of both the administrators and the posters.

“Without anonymity, students wouldn’t be able to open up as much, and the admin would constantly be bothered by trivial complaints,” Rech said. “So, for a page like this, anonymity is basically required.”

“To the extent that it provides a haven for useful but difficult things to say in person, it’s good,” Raulston said.

Still, the anonymity of the internet forum remains a double-edged sword.

“I love SJS Confessions because it really brings the community together,” sophomore Collins Yeates said. “And I love the internet, but sometimes I worry that I will regret the things I say there.”

FUTURE OF SJS CONFESSIONS On April 24, a post revealed that one of the administrators who founded the page would be stepping down. The post went on to promise that the page would continue to be active, and ended with an uplifting “Vive la SJS Confessions!”

As the popularity of the page increased, the time required to moderate the page increased as well.

“I stepped down because it was too time consuming,” the former administrator said.

“When I first started, I spent roughly 15 minutes a day on the page, but recently, I’d spend almost two hours on SJS Confessions-related activities daily.”

The former administrator plans to rejoin the moderating team after finals and AP exams to help keep the page active during the summer.

With over 3,983 submissions and 603 posts as of April 29, SJS Confessions remains popular.

“Everyone still seems to really like it even after two months, and that may be a record as far as internet time goes,” Chen said. “I see it sticking around, at least for a little while more.”

Yet with confessions pages across the nation being shut down due to cyber bullying and inappropriate content, from admissions of being in relationships with teachers to declarations of having brought Glocks to school, the future of SJS Confessions, while optimistic, remains hazy.

“I don’t currently share the concern, but the potential is there — in any page like this, nothing personal to this particular page — so I can see why some are concerned,” Raulston said. “Should the page move into that territory, I would stop reading it and posting on it.”

Chen said, “I hope it sticks around even after I graduate - it will be a fun way to keep up with the goings-on at school.”

The administrators of the page disclosed the possibility of a supplementary subpage to SJS Confessions.

“We’re thinking about branching off into a separate page, SJS Compliments, solely for shoutouts for SJS community members,” an administrator said.

ADDITIONAL REPORTING BY SAMANTHA NEAL

I confess... Though SJS joined the Facebook confession craze later than other Houston-area high schools, the page receives an influx of traffic from students, teachers and even non-SJS-affiliated browsers, with 589 hits out of 10,399 from another SJS — St. Joseph’s School in India.

VITAL STATISTICS 50

PSYCHOLOGY OF CONFESSIONS 48

4

I have never heard of SJS Confessions

I have heard of the page but don’t actively participate

I comment and “like” posts on the page

I submit confessions

I have liked the page and visit it frequently

45

NUMBER OF RESPONSES

JAKE NYQUIST

2

TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU PARTICIPATE IN SJS CONFESSIONS? — taken from a Review Online poll of 95 people

From bizarre fantasies to declarations of homosexuality and depression, the SJS Confessions page has brought to light some of the Storied Cloisters’ deepest secrets.

The allure of anonymity has elicited students’ confessions that would otherwise have remained unuttered for fear of the consequences.

“There are moments when the excitement and opportunity presented by the potential power anonymity holds overpowers everything else,” Psychology Teacher Emily Baker (’92) said.

According to neuroscientist David Eagleman, author of “Incognito: The Secret Lives of the Brain,” the act of confessing involves a neural conflict between the desire to vent and fear of the outcome.

“People are more likely to tell their secrets to total strangers; with someone you don’t know, the neural conflict can be dissipated with none of the costs,” Eagleman wrote.

Junior Cameron Hull said, “Even though we know everyone who posts on the Confessions page, making an anonymous confession turns us into strangers just for a moment.”

The freedom of expression allowed by anonymity on the Confessions page has turned it into an open forum for discussion.

“The benefit of anonymity is that people feel more protected, so they feel more liberty with saying what’s on their mind,” Head Prefect Guan Chen said. “The downside is that with anonymity, there’s always the risk of someone getting hurt, but the admins have been doing a great job of filtering things and making sure nothing unsavory gets through.”

The Confessions page offers an opportunity for students to express what would normally be filtered in a regular social setting.

“Most students have developed an age-appropriate filter and know what they can or cannot say at a given time,” Baker said. “It’s seductive to be able to set aside the filter, which is just what anonymity provides.”

Interactivity and the prospects of peer support on the page also draw in confessions, “People sometimes confess because they’re attention-seeking,” Baker said.

“Even on an anonymous level, when the likes go up, there’s still a thrill.”

12opinions THE REVIEW

MAY 2013

EDITORIAL

It’s time for us to have a conversation The need to talk is an intensely human desire. The suppression of information and dissenting opinions is also important in building social norms. And while the Editorial Board has been made aware of the dangers of setting up false dichotomies (thanks, Dr. Raulston), we believe that the School has come to a point where the ability to talk freely and express ideas has begun to feel somewhat restricted.

Let us preface this with the following: this editorial comes not in response to any one event. Instead, it comes out of several. And the school has not reached some crisis that begs for the Editorial Board to address.

This is not some administrative policy on free speech we are addressing. We are simply talking about a culture and environment. The Board wants to be proactive, and after several discussions, we felt an editorial would be an appropriate place to start.

This centerspread brings up the issue, albeit in an indirect way, which is ironic because this editorial is about having frank conversations. SJS Confessions has allowed

dearreader,

the community to express what they normally might not.

Some of this, the Editorial Board understands, is simply the result of the allure of online anonymity. But some posts on SJS confessions are topics that we as a community need to talk about — and should talk about — but with more depth than a Facebook post allows.

Last year the tweet sent just before prefect elections offered an opportunity to examine topics with which not many people are comfortable. On a personal level, there were enlightening conversations. But beyond a few teacher forums, there was never any institutionalized place where it was deemed appropriate to talk about these things.

The most recent example was prefect speeches this year.

Nikolai Hood’s fiery speech was thought by some to have invoked fascist leaders. And other speeches were thought to have played on racial stereotypes. Besides murmurings that morning about the speeches, little conversation ensued. (On a side note, check out Nikolai’s column online explaining his intentions for the speech).

Likewise, a frank conversation on drinking and drugs at

If you read the December issue (and for some of you, that is a big if ), you may remember my letter addressing the chemistry of the baseball team. Last season, teammates were talking behind each other’s backs while bemoaning lack of playing time, coaches’ decisions, and hoping for teammates to fail.

Going into the season, we seemed to have the talent, on paper, to be a good team. I would have also said the same thing going into last year.

But from Day One, the atmosphere felt different. More people showed up to offseason workouts. More people came to the field to hit on their own. And more people seemed to care.

We’ve been more willing as a team to talk about our struggles, whether they be at the plate or in school.

I’m not sure if this change in attitude directly leads to success or if it is just a byproduct of success and a belief in future success. Winning certainly helps. And that is something we have done much more of this year. We’ve won games we were supposed to win (which is something we hadn’t always done) and we’ve competed

thestaff Andrew Vogeley

Parker Donaldson

Valerio Farris

Lydia Liu

Braden Doyle

Samantha Neal

Anya Ring

Amy Kang

design editor

copy editor

online editor

online copy editor

Carolyn Brooks

Caroline Cowan

Iman Charania

Nicole Lang

Alyyah Malick

Spencer Lepow

assignment editor

assignment editor

assignment editor

Much like the baseball team, I was unsure how the year would progress. On paper, we had the most talented Editorial Board we’ve had in a long time. But everybody bought into our goal of transforming The Review into a publication with a purpose.

I’ll save you the rest of the sentimentalities for my final letter. But in this issue, I encourage you to read the centerspread that deals with the rise of SJS Confessions and the issues it brings to light.

Sincerely,

Andrew Vogeley Editor-in-chief

Member of the Columbia Scholastic Press Association-Gold Medalist 2011-2012 National Scholastic Press Association-6th Place Best of Show, First Class 2012

design editor/asst. business manager

design editor

hard with teams that were better than us.

Through all this, we’ve had our share of signature wins (see Chris Farish’s complete game performance against St. Thomas in front of 15 pro scouts) and disappointing losses (Episcopal and Kinkaid). There are still remnants of our attitude from last season when we would sulk and look to blame others. But for the most part, those days are gone.

And now, as SPC rolls around, I think we are a changed program. We are a team that believes anything can happen in the Division I tournament (it’s the first time we’ve made the tournament in three years). In one final, shameless plug, I encourage you to come out this weekend and support us and our fellow teams. You might see history.

So out of all that, you should get the idea that communication and attitude are important. It’s the buzzword we have been using over the past month at The Review as we look toward next year, trying to figure out how we can make the paper run more smoothly and efficiently.

As I reflect back on the year, I’m proud of the work we’ve done on The Review.

THE OFFICIAL STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF ST. JOHN’S SCHOOL

editor-in-chief

managing editor

SJS might be useful. After ninth grade skills class, further dialogue is unlikely to occur. Sure, students will talk about it with each other, but dialogue with the administration is indirect and not as frank as it might need to be.

We are not sure from where this culture of not talking about big issues comes. Perhaps it is born out of sensitivity. Perhaps apathy.

Accurately conveying one’s feelings and understandings of any particular issue can be difficult. So we don’t want to encourage response for the sake of response. Conversations and dialogue need to be thoughtful.

If The Review had a solution for changing the culture, we would have opened the Editorial with it. But we have tried to address this problem and use the newspaper, particularly the centerspreads, as starting points for important conversations that need to take place. And ultimately, that is all we are saying in this editorial: don’t be afraid to have important conversations.

social media editor

photography editor

business manager

Staff

Eugenia Kakadiaris Suman Atluri Winnie Brandfield-Harvey Nikhila Krishnan Pallavi Krishnarao Daniel Brenner Joseph Caplan Jessica Lee Cara Maines Guan Chen Gabe Malek Rebecca Chen Elliot Cheung Nina Manian Ian Mellor-Crummey Jake Chotiner William Clutterbuck Matthew Neal Iris Cronin Kanchana Raja Caroline Reasoner Chloe Desjardins Joshua Dickerson Megan Routbort Oliver Ruhl Elaine Dong Claire Dorfman Emily Sherron McKenna Gessner Benjamin Shou Anirudh Suresh Lin Guo Stephanie Guo Jennifer Trieschman Caroline Harrell Hannah Tyler Scott Hereford Virginia Waller Orion Hicks Tiffany Yue Anna Huang Christopher Zimmerman

Advisers

David Nathan Shelley Stein (’88) Steve Johnson

Mission Statement

The Review strives to be an engine of discourse. We seek to inform and engage the St. John’s community.

Publication Info

The Review is published eight times a school year. We distribute 900 copies each issue, most of which are given for free to the Upper School community of 584 students and 80 faculty.

Writers and photographers are credited with a byline.

Corrections, when necessary, can be found on the editorial pages.

Submission Guidelines

The Review provides a forum for student writing and opinion. The opinions and staff editorials contained herein do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the Headmaster or the Board of Trustees of St. John’s School. Staff editorials represent the opinion of the entire editorial board. Letters to the editor and guest columnists are encouraged but are subject to editing for reasons of clarity, space, accuracy and good taste. On occasion, we will publish letters without a name, provided the editor knows the author’s identity. The Review reserves the right not to print letters received or advertisements. Running an advertisement does not imply endorsement by the school.

Either e-mail letters and guest columns to avogeley@sjs. org; give them to Andrew Vogeley or David Nathan in the Review Room (Q-210); or mail letters to The Review, 2401 Claremont Ln., Houston, TX 77019.

MAY 2013

THE REVIEW

13

UNIVERSIFIED

Confessions along with a few admissions

BY GUEST COLUMNIST LILY BROWN

In “Universified,” senior Lily Brown chronicles her journey from applications through acceptance. In part seven of the eight-part column, Lily finally reaches a college decision.

The college process is the most arbitrary thing I have ever come across. I applied to twelve colleges, and I got into three. For sensitivity’s sake, I don’t really want to go into which colleges I didn’t get into, but after much deliberation and a few college visits, I finally decided that I will be attending Cornell University in the fall.

When you open the email or letter or web page, your heart literally stops (okay, maybe it doesn’t stop, but it slows down a bunch.) I either started breathing really heavily or I stopped breathing altogether, I can’t remember. Before I read each reply, I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and prayed that the letter would begin “Dear Lily, after careful consideration of your application we have decided to offer you a place in the class of 2017 – congratulations!”

I started hearing back from colleges on March 28. Over the next week, I was rejected from eight colleges. By the next Thursday, I had somewhat given up all hope, and I had gotten weirdly used to the rejection. The dinner table conversation would go something like, “Hey, did you hear back from anywhere else?”

“Oh, yeah, I got rejected by three more schools today.”

“Oh well.”

“Yeah.”

So I was getting fairly resigned to fate by the time I heard my first yes of the week.

The feeling of acceptance is unreal.

I’ve never felt so simultaneously happy, nervous, excited, terrified, and awestruck.

The idea that an admissions officer somewhere read my application and decided that I seemed like a pretty cool person is so strange. Someone I’ve never met, and will probably never meet, thinks that I am worthy of attending his or her college – how weird is that?

I don’t think I’ve ever seen my parents so happy – as my dad said, “you’ve brought a tear to an old man’s eye.”

topnine

ELAINE DONG

My mom immediately went into planning mode, “I think you’ll need a new coat – do you want to rent a mini-fridge? I found this website…”

I think they might be more excited than I am, and that’s saying something.

I might sound like a stereotypical St. John’s student when I say this, but being accepted into college has honestly validated the years of work that I have put into this school. There were definitely moments – usually at 4 a.m. sitting in front of my computer, trying to figure out why the little green squiggle underneath a sentence wouldn’t go away – when I questioned why I was going to St. John’s, and I definitely don’t think I’m alone in those ponderings.

There were times when all I wanted to do

was sleep, times I would rather stare at my bedroom ceiling than churn out another English paper or lab report.

The fact that I got into a college that I didn’t think I had a single chance of getting into makes me think that it all might’ve been worth it. I know that in the grand scheme of things, college is not nearly the most important thing in life, but after the years of exhaustive work, getting into college seems like the reward that we all deserve. We’ve all worked hard to be where we are, but thinking about where we will all be this fall is truly awesome.

Congratulations to everyone, you have accomplished so much, and I’m so excited for you all.

THINGS SENIORS WILL MISS THE MOST

BY JOSHUA DICKERSON

Nothing is as great or powerful as the Doc’s laugh, which is one example of all the traits and quirks I’m going to miss about my teachers.

I previously made it pretty clear how much I love our couches. But seriously, classroom couches surpass the discovery of fire on the list of importance to my life.

Whataburger Simply, few experiences can compare to going to Whataburger after a victory. Not to mention that four months is too long for me to wait for my next Honey BBQ Chicken Strip sandwich fix.

Food No matter how good any college’s food may be, I doubt more than a handful serve cornbread muffins. On top of that, none are within an eight-minute radius of three great burrito and two awesome taco places.

God, I’m going to miss Tex-Mex.

Headmaster Breakfast

eight

two

Dr. Raulston’s Laugh

four

one

As this last semester of senior year drags on, I keep finding new reasons to not come to school. Tuesdays and Thursdays, however, are impervious to those attempts for one reason: the deliciousness of breakfast tacos.

Couches

five

Breakfast Tacos

seven

In this penultimate segment in which I provide y’all with my brilliant insights and witticisms, I want to get the sappy stuff out of the way before my final top nine next month. Let us shed a solitary tear for that moment. I now present you with my top nine things that I will miss about SJS when I go off to college. Disclaimer: I like food, don’t judge me. (Editors’ note: we would like to congratulate Josh on finally getting an article in on time after four years on staff.)

Brennan’s is okay, but few things surpass getting served spicy, cheesy grits from the likes of Mr. Desjardins.

At most colleges, the only privileges upperclassmen recieve are priority class selection.

That’s great, but Senior Country and the Quad have been amazing spaces for the exclusive use of us seniors.

In my nine years here, I’ve come to love our school colors, and consequently, my wardrobe consists primarily of red and black. Not only am I going to have to get used to new colors, but I can also no longer wear red and black with a definitive purpose.

I have come to appreciate our amazing support staff here. From Chuy and Eddie to Piers and Soledad, they keep this school running. Thanks, y’all are all amazing.

nine

The Staff

six

Red and Black

three

Privileges

14

THE REVIEW

MAY 2013

EQUALITY

Profile Protest

BY HANNAH TYLER I opened Facebook one day, and the same notification flooded my news feed: “_________ has changed his/her profile picture.”

I was confused at first. Every new profile picture was a pink equal sign on a red background, an image that I was unfamiliar with. Fortunately, actor and internet activist George Takei helped explain it to me, saying that the picture was meant to raise awareness of gay rights as the Supreme Court heard arguments against the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) and Proposition 8. An extended purpose was also to remind everyone that, at the end of the day, marriage is about love.

To give a brief overview of the issue at hand: Proposition 8, enacted in November 2008, defines marriage as between a man and a woman.

The constitutional amendment, enacted by a popular vote, overturned an earlier decision in California that allowed for samesex unions. The state government publicly

announced that it does not support Proposition 8, which raises the question: who’s fighting for this proposition in court?

DOMA is a federal law that defines marriage as between a man and a woman.

When President Obama announced his support of gay marriage in 2011, he stated that though DOMA was unconstitutional, and that though the government would continue to enforce the law, it would not be defended in court.

Because of the change in the stance of these governments, Prop. 8 and DOMA are now resting in the hands of the Supreme Court, with the possibility of a broader ruling in favor of gay marriage.

I’ve always been a big supporter of gay rights, and, needless to say, I changed my profile picture as soon as I figured out what it meant. As I checked Facebook later that day, more and more people had changed their profile pictures. It was amazing to see.

Every profile picture that changed also

changed my perception of the person with the new profile picture. People who I had never expected to support gay marriage came out in support; the sheer number of people that changed their pictures was overwhelming.

The tide is turning in terms of gay marriage. A recent poll conducted by ABC News shows that a record 81 percent of people aged 18-29 support gay marriage, which is in sharp contrast to the 44 percent of those 65 and over that support gay marriage. This is one of the issues that has shown a sharp increase in support with each generation and thus proves divisive.

As younger people begin to ascend into the ranks of government, there’s a strong possibility that gay marriage will be fully legalized in my lifetime. It’s encouraging and provides us with the unique opportunity to actually see history change.

When it comes down to it, marriage is about love. I think the government has no business interceding in a marriage between

two people that love each other; that union should be between the people entering into it and only them.

As I see the tide turning, I am hopeful.

People say that changing your Facebook profile picture was pointless, that it did nothing, but I don’t think that’s true: this Facebook movement gave me hope. And it’s possible that it gave a gay person the courage to come out, maybe even someone you know.

As I see the American public growing more supportive of gay and lesbian men and women, I am hopeful. I am hopeful that someday there will be no stigma associated with homosexuality, that the term “gay” carries no derogatory connotations, that a gay kid in high school won’t commit suicide because he feels marginalized.

This support has been a long time coming, and I can finally see the legalization of gay marriage on the horizon.

DELI-CIOUS

Joseph’s sub standards

BY JOSEPH CAPLAN

JAKE NYQUIST

Food for thought When confronted with the patty melt, Caplan said, “ALDFJDSDK.” He was left almost speechless.

His three favorite sandwiches are Antone’s smoked turkey, the Hobbit Hole’s Gandalf and Whataburger’s patty melt.

Sandwiches. The scrumptious food I spelled with a “t” until spell check told me otherwise while writing this article.

The delicious chow that is there for you morning, noon and night. The glorious snack that fits oh so perfectly snug between your thumb and fingers, caressing the curve of your palm. Peanut butter and jelly, roast beef, turkey, club, grilled cheese, ham - there are simply too many to name.

And, while I would love to bathe my throat with all the sandwiches of the world every meal of every day, alas, I have only room for but a few. So, with a tear rolling down the cheek and a grumbling farewell from my stomach, I must bid adieu to all but the select three I cannot live without. Let’s get down to picking then, shall we?

First, I must pick a lifetime favorite: the smoked turkey at Antone’s. With a dash of mayo painted upon the tube of wheat, a splash of sweet dill pickles twinkling about and a heavenly blanket of rich smoked turkey hiding

those pickles from sheets of cheesy cheese, the Antone’s smoked turkey sub has persistently presented itself in my dreams. The combination is only enhanced when I add in salty, crunchy kettle potato chips.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is the Houdini of magicians, the Adrian Peterson of 2012 fantasy football picks, the Quintessential Queso of the Queso Cook-off. To put it quite frankly, this sub is heaven on bread.

For my second sandwich: none other than the wondrous ice cream sandwich. Ha, did I get you? I’m just messing around.

Seriously, my second sandwich is the Gandalf from the Hobbit Hole.

Ooooo mama, just thinking about this avocado-mushroom hybrid turns my salivary glands into gushers. The gratuitous amount of avocado might be superfluous but it is also super flippin’ delicious.

The mushrooms add a new texture with a taste of its own. Not to mention, it’s called the GANDALF. Who

can resist such a beautifully made, well-named sandwich.

My third and final sandwich, the jaw-dropping patty melt at Whataburger. The sauce with the onions with the toast with cheese with the meat is the god of all snacks for which I am simply not worthy. I have seriously not gotten anything from Whataburger aside from the patty melt in my last ten trips, and I still am always craving it.

Kudos to you, Whataburger, kudos to you.

So, perhaps you have learned a lesson on sandwitches - I mean sandwiches--perhaps you have learned of a new sandwich you might want to try.

These three are my favorites but the Caplan stomach always has room for more.

Sandwiches are like your brothers, they will always be there for you when you need them and are ready to help out in flash.

sports15

MAY 2013

THE REVIEW

FROM SPC TO NCAA

Ben Griffin Sewanee

IAN MELLOR-CRUMMEY

Robby Rybarczyk Northwestern

JAKE NYQUIST

Kate Bres Amherst

ANNA HUANG

Sam Night University of North Carolina

JAKE NYQUIST

Amanda Leavell Princeton

JAKE NYQUIST

Chris Farish Wake Forest

JAKE NYQUIST

‘Even the best in the nation have to reach out’: student athletes discuss college recruiting

BY EUGENIA KAKADIARIS The life of a student athlete is a balancing act between schoolwork and sports that becomes even more complicated as college application season brings in recruitment issues.

“The hardest part about being recruited is definitely the uncertainty,” senior Sam Night, who is committed to the University of North Carolina for field hockey, said.

Athletes usually begin their recruitment process by contacting coaches, usually during sophomore year, and attending tournaments and showcases throughout high school.

“The whole recruiting process is very time consuming,” senior Kate Bres, who will play volleyball at Amherst, said. “I started by sending out about 200 to 250 emails just introducing myself to coaches. When I started narrowing my list down, I began to continuously contact a specific list of coaches. I sent them film, updated them on my season and sent them my grades.”

Jack Renkens, a college recruitment advisor and speaker who held an information session at SJS last fall, recommended being in as many recruiting pools as possible and actively

pursuing college interests instead of passively waiting to be found.

Senior Christopher Farish, who signed to play baseball for Wake Forest next fall, said, “Even the best in the nation have to reach out to coaches and be proactive to get the process rolling.”

In his presentation, Renkens suggested joining a sports educational recruiting network, staying away from online recruiting services and immediately sending back questionnaires received from colleges.

Senior Amanda Leavell, who will play lacrosse at Princeton, said, “First and foremost, players should work as hard as they can to become the best player they can be. From there, they should be very honest with coaches and maintain solid communication with them.”

“If you think you have an interest, always talk to your coach to get help on getting the process started early,” Head Field Hockey Coach Craig Chambers said.

Renkens wants student athletes to realize their opportunities but also to be aware of the reality of recruitment.

“Eighty-three percent of all col-

legiate opportunities are not at the Divison I level,” Renkens said. “Don’t dismiss a school if you don’t recognize the name.”

“If one door closes in recruiting, if you look hard enough, there will be another one to open,” Director of Athletics Vince Arduini said. “You must be determined.”

Balancing a passion for sports and a good education can also be a challenge.

“I really wanted to play volleyball at a school with great academics, so that was my biggest priority in talking to coaches,” Bres said.

Farish said, “When it came time to decide I chose the school that I thought would best fit my academic goals and the school where I could get the best chance to play early in my career and make a run to the College World Series.”

Though the realities of college recruitment humble athletes, all say that the process is worth it.

“Even though UNC isn’t at all what I thought I would end up with when I started,” Night said, “it couldn’t have worked out better.”

Stephanie Guo MIT

Jane Labonowski Harvard

COURTESY PHOTO

ANNA HUANG

16

THE REVIEW

MAY 2013

RUN OFF

Veteran and amateur SPC runners aid girls’ track team in quest for championship

BY LIN GUO

Hopes run high for the girls’ track and field team, as graduating seniors along with up-and-coming freshmen train to bring home the SPC championship again this year.

“We have some injuries, but we’ll try to make everything work out,” Coach Richie Mercado said. “I’m confident that we will do really well.”

One of the injured is freshman Caroline Ankoma-Sey, who, despite tearing her hamstring at the Rice meet, will support her team at SPC. Ankoma-Sey first joined track in sixth grade at the suggestion of her coach, who commented that she was “extremely fast.”

“At my first track meet, I was so nervous,” Ankoma-Sey said. “Hearing the gun the first time, it was so loud.”

Ankoma-Sey, along with seniors Sam Night, Jackie Modesett and Stephanie Guo, broke the school record for the sprint medley relay at the St. John’s meet.

Freshman distance runner Margaret Trautner is also going to SPC to run the 3200 or 1600m and the 4x800 relay.

While Trautner ran track in 6th grade when it was the only sports option, she chose to do track and field again in eighth grade due to her cross-country background.

“I loved cross country so much,” Trautner said. “Track was the closest thing to it.”

Trautner qualified for SPC in her first meet of the season.

“I had no idea how I was going to do, and it was a small meet, so I just went for it without thinking,” Trautner said. “The ‘just go for it’ method worked pretty well.”

Senior runners, including captain Modeset, are equally eager for SPC. “I’m really excited,” Modesett said. “I’ve

been able to get in touch with a lot of the girls I’ll be running with. It’s a really good group.”

Modesett also started track in middle school. She soon developed a passion for hurdling and began training off-season.

“I even bought my own hurdles in sixth grade,” Modesett said.

Modesett is sometimes surprised at her success in hurdling.

“My freshman year, I never thought I’d be running at relays, never thought I’d win, and never thought I’d break 14 seconds,” Modesett said.

While Modesett does not wish to pursue track as a career, she looks forward to seeing how far she can take it.

Senior Captain Allie Robinson joined the track team her freshman year even though she originally planned to play basketball.

“I was doing badly in Honors Geometry and took the winter season off,” Robinson said. “I participated in track in the spring and really liked it.”

Next year, Robinson will miss pole vaulting and the team, including the freshmen runners this year.

“I love all the freshmen,” Robinson said.

“I love to watch them grow, and I’m really proud of their accomplishments.”

Ankoma-Sey agreed on the sense of community in the track team.

“The track team is really close, welcoming and warm,” she said. “The upperclassmen are really friendly.”

Captain Jackie Modesett, who will be hurdling at Harvard next year, looks forward to her last time competing at SPC. With an impressive array of talent, ranging from freshman to veteran runners, the girls’ track team hopes to repeat last year’s first-place success.

strikezone A lot of hard work from the offseason until now has come together and put us exactly where we want to be: competing for a championship. After being in Division II for the past two years, it feels good to be part of a dedicated team.

Henry Shepherd Baseball Co-Captain

JAKE NYQUIST

.301 10 4 Team batting average for the season, through 27 games.

Timely hitting has helped the tean to a 16-11 record. The pitching staff is led by Wake Forest commit Chris Farish, junior John Peavy and sophomore Jeffrey Lonnecker. The offense is powered by the junior trio of Daniel Halevy, Jack Miller and Wes Wallace, along with sophomore Stephen Spears.

Homeruns hit, more than the team hit last year.

Senior Christian Segner and junior Daniel Halevy lead the team with three each. Segner had a two-homer game against the MtB Mustangs.

Counter wins, enough to put the team in Division I for the first time since 2010. The team clinched this spot with wins over Saint Mary’s Hall, John Cooper, St. Andrew’s and St. Stephen’s.

JAKE NYQUIST

Hot corner Senior Henry Shepherd has played third base (above) and second this season. For the first time since his freshman year, the team will be participating in the SPC Division I brackets.

MAY 2013

THE REVIEW

MATCH POINT

17

McLanahan’s unquantifiable love for tennis

BY IRIS CRONIN “My parents played,” recalled Middle School math teacher and girls’ tennis coach Alexander McLanahan. “My sister and I would go with them to the clay courts and sit there, making drawings in the dust while they played a match.”

McLanahan, who was born and raised in Houston, graduated from clay drawings in his youth to national rankings during his last year in high school.

“I remember how exciting it was the first time I was in the national rankings as a senior. I had been ranked in state for years, but that was my first appearance on the national rankings,” McLanahan said. “I think I was number 22. That for me, as a junior player, was such a big thrill.”

McLanahan, known to his players as Coach Mac, attended Kinkaid through eighth grade. He then transferred to Deerfield Academy in Mass., where he played varsity tennis.

He continued his career on the court as a varsity player at Princeton University. Later, as a middle school math teacher at Casady School in Oklahoma City, McLanahan also coached the girls’ team for two years and the boys’ team for 16 years.

“You tend to remember matches that go extra long,” McLanahan recalled.

“One year at Casady we had a couple boys playing doubles. It was only supposed to be a single set, but they ended up taking the better part of three hours. Those kinds of matches are just really exciting, and they stick in your mind.”

Upon moving back to Houston and beginning his teaching career at SJS in 2001, McLanahan was an assistant coach both for the varsity girls’ soccer team for two years and for the varsity girls’ tennis team for two years before assuming the role of head girls’ varsity coach in 2004, a position he still holds.

“Coach Mac has been so great,” sophomore Tamara Shan said. “I’ve been on varsity since freshman year, and you can just tell how much he cares about the sport and the team.”

McLanahan does not play competitively anymore, but he still remains active and engaged in tennis for much of the year.

“I play a lot during summer. That’s when the lion’s share of time goes in,” McLanahan said. “I play a little bit during fall and winter, and, of course, I’m working with the team in the spring.”

While many of his varsity players are new to SJS, some are students that passed through McLanahan’s middle school math class.

“Coaching a former student is always exciting,” McLanahan said. “I’m not as active in the middle school tennis program as I’d like to be, but I often go watch my middle school kids play, and, if they’ve kept up with the sport in Upper School, it’s a great way to get reacquainted.”

McLanahan also values getting to know the players who are new to him.

“Most of the kids I coach I didn’t know in middle school,” he said. “It’s always fun to get to know them in addition to catching up with those

Math and matches In addition to his math classes at the middle school, McLanahan also coaches the girls’ varsity tennis team.

Despite being diagnosed with Crohn’s disease, he still plays tennis with the team during practice.

players I used to teach.”

Though many students know McLanahan in the context of either the classroom or the court, few know about his life outside of school. To those who see him wholeheartedly serving at tennis practice, it’s hard to imagine that McLanahan is actually diagnosed with Crohn’s disease.

Crohn’s disease is an inflammatory disease that affects the gastrointestinal tract. Doctors are unsure regarding the ailment’s exact causes, but a variety of treatment options do exist for those diagnosed with it.

“In 1994, I had some abdominal pain that I had not felt before,” McLanahan said. “It started happening more in 1995, and that was when I was diagnosed. I had surgery last May, and since then it’s been pretty good.”

Even though McLanahan once had to stay in the hospital for a week, causing him to miss preseason practice, he usually does not let the disease affect his everyday activity.

Junior April Chang is sitting the tennis season out for an injury, but she has been on Coach Mac’s team since seventh grade.

“Coach Mac’s unwavering dedication to the team is really admirable, and I strive to emulate his attitude while I’m sitting this tennis season out because of a hand injury,” she said.

He still demonstrates a deep love for both his classroom environment as well as the dynamic on the court.

“Tennis and math give me outlets to teach some of the things I’m most passionate about,” McLanahan said. “They really complement each other so well.”

JAKE NYQUIST

18odds THE REVIEW

MAY 2013

GOT A MINUTE

Sixty seconds with Joe Faraguna name state of mind grade color music hero sport to play sport to watch cafeteria item vegetable happiness misery place to live sing in the shower? dream date dream occupation

joe faraguna philosophical wish it were higher venetian crystal blue not das witchhouse neil degrasse tyson rugby sepack takraw churros ketchup runner’s high grammar corrected sweden ha, singing emma watson head priest in emma watson cult

spot on campus comfort food restaurant starbucks did you know? treasured possession i collect feeling down relationship status special touch omg i wish motto

ms henderson’s room eggo waffles, still frozen wagamama chai tea latte a group of tigers is called a streak music cds snapchat look no further this statement makes me uncomfortable cats for more wishes if you’re not fast, outta lane 1

WORD FOR WORD

Conversation concerning gangs, excuses and confusing snacks Braden, you’re going to Southern California? So what are you gonna be, a Blood or a Crip?

Dr. Raulston exhibits his knowledge of California gangs

Dr. Loughmiller: Are you paying attention? You’ve assumed texting pose...

Michael Cregan: I’m just looking at my fingers!

Senior Michael Cregan is handy with excuses

Ms. DiPaolo: We’re going to watch “Restrepo.”

Ben Stein: Is that the German “Lion King”?

Classic mixup in Modern Middle East

One, we transform the land into a giant kitten farm for Dr. Sharp. And that’s all.

THE COMIC STRIPBY GUAN CHEN

Junior Jeffrey Fastow in his SAC speech, outlining his plans for the Taub property

You guys have a history test now, right? Good luck.

Just...think about the past.

Junior Paige Albert follows the Honor Code

My favorite animal crackers are the deformed ones, like elephants without trunks.

Freshman Margaret Trautner (expect a call from PETA soon)

MAY 2013

Meh List

Charted

BY ELAINE DONG

ends19 THE REVIEW

four

“Only three people on the stage at a time” at Prom

five

The size Medium

one

Technical difficulties

six

“Where mediocrity is the standard”

three two

sbcglobal.net

Fax machines

Paper towels in the bathrooms

SOCIAL MEDIA

Trending around campus twitter @chuck_facts

tumblr

Ugly Renaissance Babies

TEACHERS’ CORNER

Blast from the past

When I was asked to write a “Blast from the Past,” I got defensive because I Isabella Maldonado reflects thought it would imply that I was old. I asked if it could be called, “Blast from the Future” instead. I wanted to quote Fergie’s “Boom Boom Pow” by saying, “I’m so 2008, you’re so two-thousand and late,” which made me realize that I am, in fact, old.

Since we’re approaching the end of the year, and I have a senior advisory, I figured I’d talk about some highlights from my senior year. I had applied to five colleges that I never visited (all out-of-state), got in to all of them and

chose Johns Hopkins without ever having stepped foot there. If you’re gasping in horror, you should be, since I decided not to spend two years, including summers, visiting colleges Prom was awesome. The highlight of our night and subsequent weekend was going through the Taco Bell drive-thru in the limo after prom while we were still dressed up.

A low point in the weekend was our taking a nice, long walk on the beach and accidentally crossing into the nude section. If you remember anything, it should be to never, ever venture onto a nude beach. Your nightmares will haunt you forever.

Finally, my high school graduation party was epic. I hosted a toga party and everyone came dressed to the nines in their grandma’s best sheet.

why we love it

Chuck Norris is the original meme, an emblem of masculinity and ridiculous upper body strength. Although he began his career as an actor, Chuck Norris has surpassed the realm of entertainment and assumed the role of universal symbol of machismo. There are few things Chuck Norris can’t do.

And this twitter account capitalizes on that fact, spewing constant farcical statements about the beloved “Walker,

Texas Ranger” star. His shenanigans range from overwhelming sucker punches to accomplishing insurmountable athletic achievements.

Tweets include: “Chuck Norris can divide by zero.”

“When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.”

“Chuck Norris can eat soup with a fork.”

why we love it

The Renaissance was a time of artistic flourishing. There’s no doubting that art produced during the Renaissance era was amazing. However, one aspect of the Renaissance paintings was overlooked: the babies. Something about this era of art and babies did not mix, and this blog highights this poor

combination. The curator of the blog amasses a collection of Renaissance paintings that feature various babies with unpleasant faces. An ugly baby seems like an anomaly, but the painters of the Renaissance somehow found a way to make it possible.

PHOTO OF THE ISSUE

NICOLE LANG

Oh, Bee-hive The bee tenants of the pillar near college counseling were recently told to buzz off and were bee-victed, April 28. Turns out their lease wasn’t to hive and to hold. That’s gotta sting.