The beauty of change
The beauty of change
Tableof Contents
ABOUT US SINCERITY MAGAZINE
Sincerity Magazine is an independent literary magazine founded by Saodat Tursunova and Safrina Haniff, fueled by our love for writing. We aim to inform, inspire and create.
SAODATTursunova Tursunova
Hi, I’m Saodat, I’m 14, and I’m from Tashkent, Uzbekistan. I was born on the 15 of March, which makes me a pisces, and that explains why I’m so dramatic. I love talking, and as a result of that, writing! A couple of my hobbies and interests are reading, music, songwriting, baking and running! And getting on Safrina’s nerves :) th
SAFRINA Haniff Haniff
Hi, my name ’ s Safrina, and I’m a 14 year old girl from Malaysia. I’ve loved reading since I was young, which stemmed into writing as I got older. Though, I have many hobbies, such as swimming, making art like painting and drawing, running marathons, and sewing! I have this thing for trying out eveerything and never giving myself a moments of peace. Sidenote: Saodat is very irritating, trust me.
ROMANTICIZE FALL
drink coffee. or tea. lots of it. watch gilmore girls, or any autumn vibey tv show wear lots of layers and have fun with accessories go on a long walk after the rain listen to red tv, the smiths, and evermore<3 bake something with a lethal amount of cinnamon read a book under candlelight drink lots of pumpkin-spice themed drinks, or have lots of pumpkin flavoured sweet treats have fun!
Unspoken Safrina Haniff SafrinaHaniff
I never got over it
Not now, and definitely not soon
They say time heals, but in truth it doesn ' t.
Time simply makes it easier to bear with the agony you hold close
It sounds pathetic, but I can recall the exact date in November
I could even recall the exact day when my heart felt uneasy
The actual realisation that we weren t friends anymore, the fact that I lost my best friend
I was in denial, delusional but even I felt that it was over I spent a week in my own realm, refusing to acknowledge the end
But that snowy night in November marked your official absence, your final withdrawal.
I could feel it in our last words
A silence that somehow both of us knew the meaning of The unexplainable feeling within my chest, an anxious thought that loomed like a ticking bomb.
The smiles I gave, the jokes we made, how meaningless they seem now
There were no words exchanged that stated our culmination
No words needed to be said; it was just understood –subconsciously.
I knew that it was over, but i wanted to bask in your warmth only for a moment longer
You were my safe place, my anchor in a harsh storm, and I no longer felt so warm
You knew of your decision, and yet you smiled, knowing it was an end to our story.
Lingering Thoughts SincerityWithSafrina: SincerityWithSafrina:
If I were to be wholeheartedly honest, I often wonder if I were to linger in some people’s minds. I wonder if old friends, teachers, or relatives were to ever wonder of my well-being; the question “Do you ever think about me?” f loats in my mind like some pesky f ly.
I promise you, if you were at some point in my life, you definitely would’ve crossed my mind on more than a few occasions. But I’m not just an obsessive freak who can’t move on from past situations. No, I think about all sorts of weird things, and sometimes I think of past friendships or situations, not with hatred or agony but only with nostalgia and happiness for them. I truly, with my full heart, wish the best for all of them, whether things ended sourly or sweetly.
I think about the first times we met and our last moments together. I think about what they could possibly be doing now. Do they still pursue their hobbies? Have they changed career paths? Are they still living in that small town, or have they moved to a major city?
I can’t be the only one to think of such things, right?
I still remember the girl whom I became friends with due to a PE zoom class; yes, we became friends – no, best friends –during a silly PE game online. It was during COVID times when all classes were online, and for that lesson we had to find things around our house based on the given alphabet. During that game, that girl privately messaged me to compliment my bright sparkly pink phone case; I had a pink phase that never seemed to really end. Then we started talking, eventually becoming friends over that special summer, though I never got to hang out with her in real life much since she had moved abroad after summer ended. But our friendship was still remarkably strong; facetime calls were how we started, so there were no issues for our friendship.
We saw each other through loads of cringy eras, and I emphasise loads. I think I can even recall her saying that she would even design my wedding dress in the future; she was really into fashion designing, and I hope she still is because her designs were stunning. To think that a friendship started due to a sparkly pink phone case and a zoom PE lesson is crazy. Eventually, the calls started to lessen from weekly to monthly to yearly birthday messages. Our friendship withheld many things but not the inevitable slow drift. Nevertheless, I still love her to bits and wish her ultimate greatness both in this world and the afterlife (dunya and akhirat). She taught me loads about Islam, and I still see her insta stories preaching about religion. I know she barely thinks of me, but I still consider her a role model of religion to me.
Moreover, I still think about the friend that became my best friend for a period of time because I said her hair was recognisable. Trust me, it made sense in that situation. We met right after quarantine ended, and she had this Dora the explorer like haircut, cute. I had horribly chemically damaged hair, not as cute. Regardless, we became best friends even after I moved abroad. But everything eventually ends; that’s how life goes. Great person, though. I check her account out every once in a while to see what she’s up to; I really have no idea what’s going on in her life, but I hope she’s well. All of my friendships have taught me lessons; maybe that’s why they visit my thoughts. I’m not going to bore you with more analogies and stories from my life because, believe me, I have loads, probably too many to be considered normal.
My point is just because you constantly have recurring thoughts about someone/something, it doesn’t mean you haven’t moved on; it just means they meant something to you for a period of time in your life, and you don’t just forget someone that meant the world to you at some point in your life. Besides, why would you want to forget that positive part of your life?
Most of the time, people only think about how certain situations end, and most are just tainted with the ending of the story, but what about the actual journey and the beginning of the story? At a certain point in time you loved that person in some way, and you wouldn’t just love someone that sucks completely; they probably were a good person – at least in the beginning.
Sure, some people are truly evil, villain-level tier, and maybe even during the duration of your relationship they treated you horribly. In spite of that, you should focus on your kindness and your good nature, not their vile actions.
Generally, I’ve heard many say that their time was wasted and that they gave them so much undeserved love when the relationship ended. However, love could never be a waste; the time and effort spent with them would be memories that lived in your brain for years. Giving love should never be considered a waste of time. Just think of it this way: they needed the love you gave them, even if this love wasn’t reciprocated.
As it is fall, maybe it’s the season to let go and move on. Maybe it’s the season to find peace and solemnity within the harsh winds. To mature is to realise that the best revenge is to simply move on, heal, and become the best version of yourself that you could possibly be and not be like those who have hurt you.
So, to anyone who bothered to stalk me to this extent, just so you know, I’m probably thinking about you; reach out if you really care. As always, be sincere; not only with others but also with yourself.
Unwarranted Gra Unwarranted Gra
When the Leaves turn Dark Tiya Tiya
The walls have holes, Autumn wind passes through & The TV static folds.
When a scream is borrowed, Horror means fiction. I ' m happy to be scared, Because it ' s eerie-cozy friction.
My best friend is a shadow man, Made of black intertwined wires but He has yellowed kind eyes and He keeps me safe from the world ' s lies, There ' s purity behind his tainted skies.
Delighted, dark chocolate mug & Fascinating sky of the night, I open the window to peek, There ' s something shifting in the distance....
e chaos c, aos e shift, e,
There s calm in chaosWhen the leaves turn dark, A new season barks, Something in between the tw It ' s blissful purgatory. -
Comforted, wrapped in a blank
The comfort of my bed, I open the blinds to look, There s something dancing in t distance....
I thrive, I thrive, in the chaos
My youth is sonic, There s calm in cha I witness, I witness the
My fate is purple
There ' s calm in cha
Poetical darkness Bublinko Bublinko
They said „Turn off the light if you want darkness“
No, I don't want darkness, I want poetical darkness
The contrast of body shining under illuminated water and being almost black above it
The inspiration of my mind when I imagine I'm in your bathroom on the E street
And we are happy
Even though I have nothing to give to you except of my art, my love and anything I'd do for you
Because I love you
And I'll tell it to the whole world if it will be needed If it's the only way to prove you my love, honey
And it won't be a romantic act, because I'm not romantic soul at all
I'm an artist A poet
And I'm in love
In love with you
You may say I don't know you But I do
I've dreamt of you since my teen years
You're what I've been dreaming for
For all of those years when I was looking for happiness in married man, by the fire place
Holding my arm, calling me by cute names In jerks who never gave a damn about me I was looking for you in all of those forgotten souls
But now
Now I have found you
And I'll do anything to get my heart to you
To give you what the other girls couldn't give you yet To give you feeling of love, not only in your heart, but visible In the words, in pictures, in deeds, in me
Please be there when I share my deepest thoughts and dreams with the world
Please be there to read them
And please know they are for you
My love
Thank Your Eyes Bublinko Bublinko
All I have to do is thank your big white eyes
With tint of green and blue
For saving me when I thought I'd lose myself
Honey, for having you
When I was laying on the table with pieces of bullet drilled in my cheek bone
For making me strong when I thought I might lose control
Your eyes in front of me looking into my heart and soul
Making me forget the pain and all the things that were going on
You may be too far to realize but you're closer than you think
One day I'll redeem you all with a love moves of my ink
No matter what's red and if I'm pink
I'll love you with every moment and try not to blink
One day we'll meet and make heaven out of everything
Autumn forest AngelaPatera AngelaPatera
Gothiic Dream Bublinko Bublinko
The whispers of autumnVivianneMartinez VivianneMartinez
Autumn always arrives without a sound. One morning I wake up, and the air smells of destiny: denser, sweeter, as if the leaves already knew they would soon have to fall and leave their home. I walk down the avenue bathed in ochrea shades and feel the whole world exhale. Everything seems to surrender to a kind of golden melancholy.
When I was a child, autumn seemed to me like a gentle farewell. I would collect dried leaves and tuck them between the pages of books, believing that this way I could hold onto time.
Now, each of those leaves is a memory that crumbles in my hands: an afternoon that will never return, a voice that faded into the wind, a promise that was never kept.
And yet, there is beauty in loss. Nietzsche said that autumn is the season of the soul, and I understand it perfectly. In its fragility, there is a form of eternity. In the silence of the trees as they begin to shed their leaves, there is something akin to truth. Autumn teaches us to let go without pain, to say goodbye with gratitude.
When the wind lifts the last remnants of leaves, I close my eyes and let the cold air touch my face. I think about all the versions of myself that have also shed with the years, about the skins I’ve left behind.
In every golden sunset, there is a reminder that life does not stop. What dies today will be tomorrow’s root. And as I watched the sun sink behind the branches, I realized that although summer is gone, autumn is here.
GOLDEN HOUR StephanieGunnz StephanieGunnz
Light can be turned into art
Art can be turned into light
That’s nothing new to me
But when golden hour comes
And you ’ re sitting in the room
In glass corner on the throne
What golden hour can do to your face
That’s something unbelievable, new to me
When I take closer look into your face
Discovering new angles to look from
Discovering your face can get more and more handsome
With every time I look at it
Gold’s what suits your face the most cause that’s what you are – golden
When your dark brown hair turns into almost blond colour
And king Ludwig’s gold mask has nothing on this scene
You hold the world in your hands
Astana skyscrapers in blue and yellow
Their metallic colours are reflecting the sun
And the way sun rays lay on half of your face
Make you look golden
And that’s what you always are – golden
You hold my world in your hands
When dark blue sea glistens and sand is gold
And I could imagine wailing sounds of my favourite atmosphere
To make this moment perfect, but I didn’t
Cause I hear the most beautiful sounds
And it could go on like this forever
I knew golden hour multiplies your beauty
But to turn you into golden work of art?
Never ever dreamt of it before
Some moment last a minute but I could write novels about it
WithSincerity WithSincerity
Taylor Swift’s Chai Cookies (No Tea Packet Needed)
For the Cookies:
½ cup (113 g) unsalted butter, room temperature
½ cup (120 ml) neutral oil (like vegetable or canola)
½ cup (100 g) granulated sugar
½ cup (60 g) powdered sugar
1 large egg, room temperature
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
2 cups (250 g) all-purpose flour
½ teaspoon baking soda
¼ teaspoon kosher salt
2–3 teaspoons homemade chai spice mix (see below)
For the Icing:
1½ cups (180 g) powdered sugar, sifted
¼ teaspoon ground nutmeg
¼ teaspoon ground cinnamon
2–3 tablespoons eggnog or milk
Homemade Chai Spice Mix: (Makes extra for future baking-store airtight)
4 tablespoons ground cinnamon
2 tablespoons ground cardamom
1½ tablespoons ground ginger
2¼ teaspoons ground nutmeg
½ teaspoon ground cloves
½ teaspoon ground black pepper
1. Mix all spices thoroughly in a small bowl or jar. For this recipe, use 2–3 teaspoons of the blend in the cookie dough.
2. Instructions
3. 1. Make the Cookie Dough
4. In a large bowl, beat the butter until creamy. Mix in the oil.
5.Add granulated sugar and powdered sugar, and beat until combined.
6. Mix in the egg and vanilla extract.
7. In a separate bowl, whisk together the flour, baking soda, salt, and 2–3 teaspoons of your homemade chai spice mix.
8. Add the dry ingredients to the wet and stir just until combined. The dough will be soft.
9.
2. Chill the Dough
10. Cover and chill the dough in the refrigerator for at least 1 hour (overnight is even better for a stronger chai flavor).
11.
3. Bake
12. Preheat oven to 350°F (175°C). Line a baking sheet with parchment.
13. Scoop tablespoon-sized balls of dough onto the sheet, spacing them about 2 inches apart. Gently flatten each ball with your palm and sprinkle with a little extra sugar if you like.
14. Bake 9–10 minutes, until the edges are just turning golden. Let cool on the pan for 5 minutes, then transfer to a wire rack to cool completely.
15. 4. Make the Icing
16. Whisk together powdered sugar, nutmeg, cinnamon, and 2 tablespoons eggnog or milk. Add more liquid if needed to reach a spreadable consistency.
17. Spoon icing onto cooled cookies and spread with the back of a spoon, leaving the edges bare.
s upon us, and I am so incredibly excited. my achilles ' heel, I am such a sucker for n or pumpkin themed I ' ve consumed so od this past month that it’s a miracle I don ' t look like the Lorax.
of people say they find this time of year
p g, totally get why. Everything starts dying and you go back to school, but I honestly love it. Not school, but falling back into a steady rhythm and having a schedule and being productive is the best, I adore the sense of constantly having something to do, but maybe that’s just my OCD talking here.
The ideal autumn day for me would go something like this:
1. Sleep in
2. Have a wonderfully late breakfast, usually something with a butt load of cinnamon
3. Read a couple pages of my book while listening to some Shostakovich
4. Take a walk and breathe in the fresh autumn air (which probably won’t be fresh, it’ll probably be very polluted)
5. Work on the magazine (always on the grind!)
6. Bake something, again, with a butt load
6. Have dinner with my family, most important
7. Spend time with my loved ones, watching chatting
8 Do some self care, journal a li
9. Watch some my comfort TV sh
10. Go back to bed and repeat tomo
INTO SAODA ILoveF ILoveF
AT’S MIND Fall!!! Fall!!!
What would your ideal autumn day look like?
I’m just going to talk about what I’ve been doing so far, since the first issue’s been released. Recently, I’ve been listening to Taylor Swift’s new album, The Life of a Showgirl, and let me tell you, it is one of, if not the best, albums she’s put out, like ever. Woah. I was so incredibly blown away by the production, the lyrics, the vocals, just wow. My favorites are Elizabeth Taylor and Father Figure, I can’t stop listening to them.
I’ve also been rewatching some shows and listening to some old music, like Gilmore Girls, the Big Bang Theory and Doris Day, I’m falling in love with them all over again, and in different ways than from when I first watched/ heard them. I think that’s the beauty of any kind of media really, because it’s so versatile and applicable to so many situations. Like, for example, a year ago, I would have been totally on Lorelei’s side when Rory decided to drop out of Yale, but now, I’ve decided that she was really justified on doing so, truly. You’re always growing, and it’s really comforting to know that your favorite things are, in a way, growing with you too.
Anyway, that’s what I think today. See you next time. Love, Saodat
“HOW
TO LIVE LIKE ME”
TSaodat
ursunova
Hark! Hear my name, scatter like mice
Run from my desire for pearls, and for vice Evil like me never stops, never ends I’ll make you feel like you wish you were dead
Wish on a star, a penny, a cat
That a life just like mine falls right in your lap I never fight fair, I play for myself
The game ’ s never rigged, I just know it too well
Scream when you see me, cry when you don’t Whispers behind my back feel like snow
My back’s been bruised, honored and stabbed Words coming from you aren’t an attack
Fear is a tool, but so is a smile
Make them believe that they’re worth your while Never stop smiling, don’t show a crack
Even though all these miscreants seem like SUCH trash
YOUR ENERGY IS PRICELESS,, SO IS YOUR FACE DON’T RUIN YOUR LIFE FOR PEOPLE WITH NO TASTE
DRINK TILL YOURE DRUNK, FEAST TILL YOU’RE FULL
NEVER LET SOMEONE DICTATE YOUR RULES
MY FAITHFUL LAMENT HAS COME TO AN END CHERISH THESE RULES, ABIDE. BY THEM TOO MAYBE YOU’LL LIVE LIKE A ROYAL OR DIE TRYING TO
Since Recom Recom
erity mmendations mmendations
Recomm Recomm Since
evermore
IEvermore sounds like a misty, cold, evening, it’s sad, it’s melancholic and perfect for a cry or for a deep thinking session. Go give it a listen if you ’ re in need of a hug, this is way better.
chai tea latte
The creator’s new obsession,, I have a chai tea latte everyday. It is sweet, fragrant, comforting, just the best drink every created. Hot, or iced, it’s perfect at every temperature.
cinnamon rolls
IDelicious, gooey goodness that is the best dessert every made. It’s so fun to make with a couple of friends after school on an autumnal friday, and even better to eat!
mmendations mmendations
fuzzy socks
Literally no explanation needed. It’s fuzzy socks.
red (tv)
. This album is full of passion, heartbreak, and catchy tunes. This album literally IS autumn,. You can. listen to it when you ’ re working out, or, again, crying, it’s perfect for every occasion. Honestly, better than therapy, guaranteed Pumpkin pie
Try out or even better make pumpkin pie! It’s delicious and fun to make!
Since FallMovieR FallMovieR
Twilight
The classic vampire/human love story between brooding Edward Cullen and “I’m not like other girls” Bella Swan. This is perfect for autumn, if you ’ re looking for a classic romance
Little women
Little Women is a coming-of-age novel by Louisa May Alcott, that was later made in to a film, that follows the lives of the four March sisters Meg, Jo, Beth, and Amy as they transition from childhood to womanhood during the American Civil War era.
Dead poets society
\The Dead Poets Society is a timeless classic, depressed boys, proffessor everyone loves, what could be more perfect? It’s got everything anyone could wish for!
Reccommendations Reccommendations erity
when harry met sally
When Harry Met Sally is a romantic comedy about two friends, Harry and Sally, who are in their 30s and debate whether men and women can be just friends.
The Phantom of the opera
The Phantom of the Opera is a tragic romance about a disfigured musical genius who lives beneath the Paris Opera House, known as the " Phantom, " who becomes obsessed with a young soprano named Christine Daaé.
gilmore girls
The tale of mnother and daughter who are best friends and eat like their lives depend on it- Gilmore Girls is a nostalgic TV show with love, academics, and enough coffee to kill an elephant
Since FallBookR FallBookR
Breakfast at tiffanys
The best seller that inspired the iconic, timless movie starring Audrey Hepburn,, it’s about a wise, thoughtful author meeting a ditzy, chic young woman in New York. One of the most wonderful, whimsical books I’ve ever read
the woman in black
The mother of all gothic stories, the Woman in Black is a thrilling horror that you can’t put down at all. It’ll have you sweating and on the edge of your seat for as long as you read it
wuthering heights
The tumultuos love between Heathcliff and Cathy, Wuthering Heights is a complex, timeless love story that takes place on a moore, so it’s absolutely perfect for the autumn chills
erity Reccommendations Reccommendations
catcher in the rye
The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinge,r, published in 1951, is a novel about a young man who gets expelled from his school and goes on a journey of self-discovery. Not explicitly autumn-vibey, but wildly depressing, so it fits the fall criteria
The secret history
The Secret History is Donna Tartts first novel, published in 1992, about a group of classics students at an elite New England college who become involved in a murder.
Autumn chills
Autumn Chills by Agatha Christie is a compilation of cozy, mysterious stories, perfect to read on a foggy autumn morning, or cold evening by the fure
SINCERITYMAGAZINE
