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December 15 -28, 2016 • Simply Clear Marketing & Media
Then & Now Caring is a Most Precious Gift By Judy Salamacha
D
uring the Christmas season, I wish everyone health, happiness, and safe travels, plus peace and prosperity in 2017. Nevertheless, the holidays can be as stressful as they are joyful. Routines are exchanged for a flurry of activities that include gifting and gorging. It is also the most likely time of the year for extended family and forever friends to make time for each other. I suggest we pause the chaos to take a closer look at how our loved ones are doing, including our parents who typically say they are «Just fine.» Kasey Watson is the owner/operator of Garden House of Morro Bay, an awardwinning home for seniors, including those with Alzheimer’s and dementias. «By the time a family investigates bringing their loved one to Garden House,» she explains, «they are usually in crisis. We have to help the caregiver or family member as much as the resident who needs our fulltime care.” By having discussions before a crisis demands immediate action, she concluded, families would become better managers of whatever happens. And with decisions mutually agreed upon, resources can be investigated in advance to implement plans as needed.
Watson cited an example of a husband insistent on taking care of his wife. For better or worse was their vow and although an admiral effort, both failed to thrive. When he passed away, the adult children found Garden House. With an extended team of caregivers to help provide monitored nutrition, medications, socialization and regular sleep patterns, their mother re-gained physical and cognitive strength. Quality of life could have been better for both of them if action had been taken sooner. “Everyone at every age and circumstance has a purpose,” said Watson. “Our goal at Garden House is to provide quality of life for families, as we manage our residents’ predictable decline. I hope someday we recognize aging is a process of living and dementias are diseases. We wouldn’t ignore finding the best treatment for a broken hip or cancer diagnosis.” Thus, the greatest gift within a multigenerational family spending the holidays together might be a non-intrusive assessment of changes in our loved ones and a discussion of a future plan to deal with the inevitable toll age could exact. It could mean discovering that our loved ones really are purposefully engaged and «Doing just fine.” But on the other hand, there might be red flags that need to be
addressed with a more immediate action plan, before a crisis develops. Watson recommends the Alzheimer’s Association (see: www.alz.org) to discover information and nearby resources regarding aging and its potential issues and opportunities. Who hasn’t laughed over our own stresscaused confusions and forgetfulness, which can happen at any age? But rather than toss the behaviors off as simply the normal aging process, look more carefully. “Seniors living away from family learn to hide issues,” Watson said. “Is one partner answering for the other? Do they still engage in family activities and enjoy the grandchildren? Or are they spending more time at home alone — retreating and uninterested?” She added that the red flag-list includes questions like: Granny was always stylish but is she now neglecting her appearance? Does Papa seem angry or make inappropriate or unfiltered comments? Are they taking more medications, but don’t know what for? Does Papa need to follow a sequence to accomplish simple tasks then get frustrated? Must he start over or abandon the task? Is Granny’s sweet tooth a new eating habit? Are there unexplained dents in the car?
Do you see unusual bruises or wounds, yet they can’t tell you how they got there? Watson suggests positive actions that will have long-term benefits. “Mom has spent her whole life cooking and cleaning. Why not gift her a housekeeper simply for the deep cleaning?” Watson said. “Maybe Papa could use a helpmate to clean the garage or weed the garden. There are legitimate people out there to help with tasks like paying bills, shopping or driving to appointments. “We are raised to be independent, but introducing help into the home before there’s a crisis makes it easier to accept later, if or when they really need help.” The greatest gifts don’t always come neatly wrapped in holiday gift bags. Caring enough to pay attention and have that conversation about the quality of our lives as we age might be the ultimate gift we’ll prize long after 2016 moves us to the next phase of our lives. Freelance writer, columnist and author, Judy Salamacha’s Then & Now column is a regular feature of Simply Clear Marketing & Media. Contact her at: judysalamacha@gmail.com or (805) 8011422 with story ideas.
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