October 2017 Scoop Online Edition

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

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Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com

MOBILE COMPUTER REPAIR AND SERVICE - Quality work performed in-shop, in office or in-home. Dependable, affordable! Over 14 Years Experience. Proudly serving Carson Valley and Surrounding Communities.

Call Nick at Technologic Computer Repair (775)450-7570 YARD SALE, OCTOBER 7TH AND 8TH, 8AM - 4PM, Huge selection of carpentry tools. Furniture, clothes, dishes and so much more, 616 Cunningham off Palomino, Ruhenstroth/Gardnerville THULE SIDEKICK ROOFTOP CARGO CARRIER, never used $300 (775)315-6487 LOVE BAGS? WANT TO HOST A FUN GIRLS night party? Thirty-One Gifts has your stylish, personalized totes, purses, bags, jewelry and more! Contact Michele at www.mythirtyone.com/sierranevadabags MONUMENTS UNLIMITED, HEADSTONES, curbing, granite and concrete, all colors available, quality work (775)720-1627 FREEDOM HAWK 12’ STANDUP FISHING KAYAK with electric motor, battery and box, seat, life jacket, kayak cart, anchor boom and anchor $1,725 (775)3156487

JR POWER SPORTS! WE SERVICE AND REPAIR, ALL makes, models and years; Quads, OHV, Dirt and Street Bikes; from tune up to full rebuild. 35 years experience! Dayton, jrpowersports.com or (775)241-2530 HANDYMAN FOR ALL YOUR OUTSIDE NEEDS, yard cleanup, power wash, fence repair, minor jobs, free estimates, NV#11376PC (775)246-9899 MKD CONSTRUCTION, GENERAL ENGINEERING, concrete structures, concrete flat work, grading, roadway improvements, drainage, storm drains, underground utilities (water and sewer), paving, fencing, barrier rail, environmental improvements, commercial and residential snow removal, excellent reputation and references available, NV#50061 and CA#818376, Mike (775)246-1900 or (775)315-2416 HUGE ESTATE SALE, SATURDAY AND Sunday, October 7th and 8th from 8am to 5pm, everything must go including the house; lots of household odds and ends, furniture, and antiques. Collectors Welcome! 3959 Granite Way (TRE) Wellington G & J LANDSCAPING MAINTENANCE, TRIM, prune, fertilize, aerate, sprinklers, Fall clean-up, Free Estimates, Victor (775)291-1672

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

MORE THAN 120,000 CUSTOMERS SERVED SINCE 1986

I‛m a Sierra Air customer

Fall rebates are back!

Up to $1650 limited time savings with Carrier® Cool Cash INSTANT REBATES when you buy a qualifying High-efficiency Home Comfort System by Carrier®

..and I‛m NOT!

Valid 8/14/17 - 11/30/17

$

50 off $50 off $129

HOME COMFORT CLUB INITIATION FEE Become a valued member for as little as $18.33per month.

No more heating and cooling worries!

Expires 10/31/17

FULL SERVICE DUCT CLEANING Includes dryer vent cleaning.

Get your ductwork thoroughly cleaned and sanitized Expires 10/31/17

Special includes Standard Filter Replacement

20 point super furnace or a/c tune-up

Can not be combined with any other offer. Regular Price $189.

Must present coupon at time of service Expires 10/31/17

8 8 8 - 5 4 4 - 8 5 4 1

Several no interest finance plans available OAC

Or low interest in-house financing plans available with no credit application needed.

OFFICE HOURS: M-F 7:30 AM to 5 PM • Sat. 8AM-4PM SERVICE HOURS: 8 to 8 At The Same Great Rate

Sunday October 29, 2017 11am-4pm Grand Sierra Resort • Silver State Pavilion

• • • • Everything for the Happiest Day of Your Life!

WEDDINGS of the WEST

RenoBridalShow.com • 775-882-2222 4

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Buddy

In a rural area a farmer was tending to his horse named Buddy, and along came a stranger who desperately needed the farmer’s help. The stranger had lost control of his vehicle and ran it off into a ditch. The stranger asked the farmer if his horse could somehow pull the vehicle out of the ditch for him and told the farmer that the vehicle was small. The farmer said he would come, bring his horse, and take a look, but could not promise he could help if his horse might be injured in some way from attempting to pull the vehicle out of the ditch. The farmer did see that the stranger was correct and that the vehicle was small, so the farmer took a rope and fixed it so that his horse, Buddy, would be able to pull the vehicle out of the ditch. The farmer then said, “Pull, Casey, Pull,” but the horse would not budge. The farmer then said, “Pull, Bailey, Pull,” but the horse would not budge again. The farmer then said, “Pull, Mandy, Pull,” and again the horse would not move. The farmer then said, “Pull, Buddy, Pull,” and the horse pulled until the vehicle was out of the ditch. The stranger was so very grateful, but asked the farmer why he called the horse by different names? The farmer said, “Buddy is blind, and I had to make him think he had help pulling the car out of the ditch or he would not have pulled.”

Lesson: Don’t wait on others in order to accomplish something or you may always be in a ditch. Sometimes we won’t attempt to do something if we know we don’t have help.

WNC Motorcycle Rider Course

Registration for the 2017 Motorcycle season is open through November 4, 2017 and it is still time to learn to ride.

Basic Rider Course - $160, the NEW Basic Rider Course II $85 and the Advanced Rider Course - $85. We have two Advanced Rider Courses (ARC) left for the 2017 season. Register soon! Check class descriptions, dates, and registration on line at www.campusece.net/wnc/ or call (775)445-4268.

YARD SALE, SATURDAY AND SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 30th and October 1st; 9am-2pm. Champion Generator 4500, used 6 hours $300; glass coffee and end table with metal stands $25 pair, Elvis Collector Plates with certificates of authenticity $20 each, movies and lots of other items, 101 Smith Gage Road, Wellington (775)5139114 PORSCHE 911 OR 912 WANTED, NEEDED! IF you have one that is taking up space and you would like to move it to a new home, have cash and a trailer (775)2916827 GENEALOGY - THOROUGH RESEARCH OF FAMILY histories. A unique gift for weddings, anniversaries, birthdays, holidays or yourself! www.PersonalPedigree. com or Lisa (775)450-3175

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CASH PAID FOR OLD COSTUME JEWELRY: Rhinestones, Mexican and Indian Tourist Jewelry, Rings, Bracelets, Necklaces, Pins, Men’s Jewelry, Old Plastics, Silver, Copper, Glass Beads, Men’s and Women’s Old Wind Up Watches, Charm Bracelets, Lockets etc. Larger quantities preferred. I drive to you. Joanne, please leave clear message (775)465-9422 RENNER’S TRUE VALUE HARDWARE - FOR ALL YOUR hardware, household, automotive and gardening needs and much more now available online at truevalue. com, ship orders to store for free, call Megan or Chris for details (775)465-2217, press 1 for parts, 2289 Hwy. 208, Smith, NV

Happy 18th Anniversary Sierra Scoop!

18 years of togetherness, 18 years of sharing, 18 years of caring, 18 years of service, 18 years of happiness, 18 years of trust, 18 years of helping businesses grow, 18 beautiful years BECAUSE OF YOU! Thank you so very much! Lisa Coffron/Publisher 1929 ESSEX PROJECT, SUPER SIX 2 DOOR CHALLENGER Coach plus manuals, spare parts and lots of literature $4,595 (775)315-6487 ELECTROLYSIS AND LASER FOR HAIR REMOVAL; Complimentary, confidential consultation. 33 years experience. Weekday, evening, Saturday appointments available, Sally Battista (775)782-6190

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The World’s Longest Memory

A man and his family walk into a bar. Inside of the bar, the man’s youngest child sees a Native American sitting under a sign stating, “World’s longest memory”.

The child walks up to sign and decides to test if this sign is true.

The child asks, “What did you have for breakfast 30 years ago?”

The Native American states, “eggs.”

The child states that the Native could have just made that up, and then later leaves the bar.

Years later, when the child returns back with his own family he sees the same native at the bar.

Walking up to the man, he states a stereotypical, “how?!”

The Native replies, “scrambled.”

WOOD STOVE PELLETS, WE SELL PACIFIC Pellets, cleanest burning, highest heat output, out performs all others, ½ cord almond firewood, Benson Feed, Carson City (775)882-3999 ALLERGIES AND DUST A PROBLEM? WHOLE house air duct cleaning special $399, all vents, returns, heater and ac cleaned and sanitized, dryer vent cleaning $99, call Peake Air, NV#260831 (775)392-0994 BEDROOM FOR RENT, SATELLITE TV, WASHER/ dryer, private bathroom, all utilities paid, no smoking, no pets, $500 per month, $500 security, off Pinenut in Gardnerville (775)450-4398 MULTI FAMILY GARAGE SALE - FRIDAY, October 6th and Saturday, October 7th, 8:30am- 3:00pm; generator, gazebo, staging inventory liquidation, furniture, chop saw, table saw, garden tools, art metal shelving units, pack n play, high chair, clothes, pillows and much, much more!! Mule Lane, Gardnerville PAINTER, SEMI-RETIRED WITH 40 YEARS experience in Nevada, Save Money, Get Seasonal Discount Now, inside or out, Fences (775)901-1912 HANDYMAN SERVICES, WOOD DECK RESURFACING and repair, interior doors, windows and interior/ exterior trim, Honey-Do’s, etc. Serving Carson Valley (775)315-2235 GOLF CLUB SETS VARIOUS STARTING AT $50; like new XDS modern style 3-PW 1-5 Woods with bag, balls and Tee’s $100 (775)722-4886 ACME HEATING AND AIR CONDITIONING Specializing in mobile homes; Emergency repairs, Sales, Service, Replacements, all makes and models, Free estimates on replacement furnaces and air conditioners, NV LIC#014612 (775)883-3220, Emergency (775)691-3185

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

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Difference Between Before and After Getting Hired!

When Timmy went in for an interview at ABC company, he was hired after a very brief interview. A little skeptical at first, Timmy asked the company representative a few questions. It went like this: ABC: Trust me, this company could really use someone new.

Timmy: If there is too much work, I’m going to quit...

ABC: We’d NEVER let something like that happen.

Timmy: Do employees get every Saturday and Sunday off?

ABC: That’s a granted.

Timmy: Are employees required to work overtime without pay?

ABC: No way. Where did you even come up with such a ridiculous idea?

Timmy: Are meals subsidized?

ABC: You BET. Timmy: Do the new employees usually end up doing ALL the work?

ABC: That’s impossible. There are so many other experienced people in our company.

Timmy: If I did well, would I ever become a manager?

ABC: Yes. Absolutely.

Timmy: Wow. Is this for real?

After working there for several months, Timmy noticed

that the job wasn’t panning out the way he had been promised. Quite upset, he went to file a complaint to the HR dept.

The next day, Timmy was summoned into the management’s office, where they threatened to fire him for voicing out.

To see his conversation with the management, read the conversation above again.... from the bottom to the top.

LOBO ROOFING, SINCE 1993, ROOFING INSPECTION Specialist, Licensed, Bonded and Insured, Senior Citizen Discounts, Mobile Home, Residential and Commercial, Lic#K0011, NVLic#0070178 (775)342-8969 MIGUEL’S GARDEN SERVICE, FULL LAWN MAINTENANCE, clean up, fertilizing, dead shrubs and trees pulled out, excellent references, great rates, serving Carson Valley 27+ years! (775)265-0501 “YOUR HOMETOWN HAULER SINCE 1996!” $129 a load plus dump fee, J.R.’s Hauling, Junk and Trash, Carson Valley/Carson City (775)265-6813 RELOADING COMPONENTS, EQUIPMENT, training, bulk and custom ammunition, Remember, “we are just gun food!” Open Wednesday - Saturday 10am - 6pm and Sunday Noon - 5pm, Bear Bullets, 1506 US Hwy 395 N. Gardnerville, NV (775)392-3213

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Escape From a Sinking Car

Remain Independent – Remain at Home

The “little things” may become increasingly difficult as we age, but this doesn’t mean it’s time to surrender. We provide affordable, non-medical assistance for seniors at home. Light housekeeping, meal prep, bathing/grooming, companionship, family relief, and incidental transportation to appointments.

A few hours to 24/7 care. Eden Home Care, eden-health.com (775)392-2000 ELECTRICAL PROBLEMS? MAKE THEM GO away!

No job too small! New construction, remodels, service and repair, Pigman Electric, NV#73243, CA#610417 (775)721-9491 LAWN CARE SERVICE! AERATING, THATCHING, Mowing, Trimming, Pruning, Sprinklers, Repair, General Yard Clean Up, Snow Removal, Small Paint Jobs, Free Estimates, 10 Years Experience, Ruben (775)430-3585 DOG GROOMER TAKING ON NEW CLIENTS, set up right now to take certain types of dogs, call to see if yours is one, Denise (775)720-1184 BIGGEST HONKIN YARD SALE EVER! October 27th and 28th, 8am - 2pm both days, we got stuff! 1607 Olua, Minden

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Don’t panic. Open the window as soon as you hit the water.

Unbuckle the seatbelt, immediately locate the door handle and unlock the doors. Even though it looks like certain and immediate death, your car will float for a minute or more before it goes under.

If your head restraints are removable, pull them out when you release your seatbelt to enable easy passage for rear passengers - you can also use the head restraints to smash the side windows if necessary If your windows jam, try to break them. An ‘emergency hammer’ is ideal; a steering wheel security lock will do; or kick hard.

You may be able to open a door, but if you can, it’s probably better to exit through a window.

The car will sink ‘heavy end’ first (the heavy end is where the engine is). In deeper water it may flip onto its roof.

In a car that sinks front first, there will be a bubble of air in the back, but you should stay in the front... the front windows are often bigger and easier to get out of - for all passengers.

It may seem obvious - but don’t try to save anything except lives. Computers, phones, purses, jewelry, etc. can be replaced - you can’t!

If you are unable to open a window, there is the equalization option as a last resort. Keep your head. There should be enough air for the minute or two that it will take to prepare to escape. When the car is nearly full of water, take a deep breath and push a door open, you may need to do this with your feet (for extra strength). Note the wait: If you try to open the doors too soon the water pressure will defeat you.

Note: There is a counter-theory that suggests the seat belt should be left on. This theory suggests that if you release your seat belt, you may, due to underwater disorientation, end up moving away from the window or door opening due to the ingress of water through the opening. If you need to push the door open, being anchored by the seat belt might give you additional leverage, versus pushing the door while you’re suspended in the water. Having your seat belt on could also help you maintain your sense of orientation if the car flips upside-down. On the downside, having your seat belt on can also make it harder to get out quickly and to move out, which is the point of reacting quickly from the start and not waiting in the vehicle.

GRASS-FED BEEF, ALL LOCALLY GROWN, $4.25 per pound hanging weight, works out to about $6 per pound cut and wrapped (775)721-1574 M SQRD MASONRY, INC. IS LOOKING TO HIRE 2 Mason’s and 2 Hod Carriers or 2 hardworking laborers that are willing to be trained as a Hod Carrier. We are a small company in Gardnerville, but are doing some restructuring and are looking for permanent employee’s.

We have Nevada and California License, some traveling required, Only Nevada Residents, Please contact Marc Duryee/Owner (775)450-6219

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Blind Pilots

Passengers on a small plane are waiting for the flight to leave. They’re getting a little impatient, but the airport staff assures them the pilots will be there soon, and then the flight can take off.

Finally, the entrance opens, and two men dressed in Pilots’ uniforms walk up the aisle. Both are wearing dark glasses, one is using a guide dog, and the other is tapping his way along the aisle with a white cane.

Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin, but the men enter the cockpit, the door closes, and the engines start up.

The passengers begin glancing nervously around, searching for some sign that this is just a little practical joke. None is forthcoming.

The plane moves faster and faster down the runway, and the people sitting in the window seats realize they’re headed straight for the water at the edge of the airport territory. As it begins to look as though the plane will plow into the water, panicked screams fill the cabin.

At that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly, and soon all retreat into their magazines, secure in the knowledge that the plane really is in good hands.

Meanwhile, in the cockpit, the pilot turns to the co-pilot and says, “You know, Jim one of these days, they’re gonna scream too late and we’re all gonna die.”

Heavenly Holiday Faire

Saturday, November 4th, 2017, Carson Valley United Methodist Church. Plan on a fun day with handmade gifts, Thanksgiving and Christmas décor, home baked goodies, Silent Auction, Kid’s Market, visit Santa, Lace-Embroidery Christmas Village and Theme Basket Raffles at the “Heavenly Holiday Faire” Saturday, November 4th from 9am – 4pm at 1375 Centerville Rd. Gardnerville. Enjoy lunch and shop for the holidays. www.carsonvalleyumc.com COPPER PENNIES (PRE-1982), 16,950 COUNT, rolled and boxed $225 firm, Dayton (775)835-1490 WE’LL KEEP YOU IN STITCHES, WE COVER autos, furniture and ATV’s, 47 years experience, Tweeds Upholstery, Gardnerville, tweedsupholstery@yahoo.com or (775)782-5812 COMPLETE LAWNCARE, PAVERS, RETAINING walls and more! 30 years in Carson Valley, Senior Discounts and Free Estimates, Nevada Lawns (775)450-2156 ALL AMERICAN OVERHEAD DOOR, NEW INSTALLATION, repairs and service, commercial/residential, 10% discount for spring repair, Free Estimates and Senior Discount (775)450-2156

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RIFLE CASE MOULDED 2 GUN $45; DEER/ELK carrier $25; Monarch Smoker BBQ stainless steel $35; 24” Vari Kennel $45 (775)463-2826 HANDCRAFTED MARKERS AND MONUMENTS, Granite and Bronze. Large Selection of colors and designs, special orders welcome! 15 years experience, call Cornerstone Monument for appointment (775)267-1958 INCOME TAX, GEORGE HALLIFAX, CPA, EA, TAX preparation, Federal and all States, prior years, audit representation, 30 years experience, reasonable rates (775)392-0418 NEW WEIDER POWER EXERCISE TOWER WITH exercise chart $150 (775)315-6487 MAINTENANCE FREE DECKS AND PATIO COVERS, knowledgeable, honest, professional service! Serving Northern Nevada for 18+ years! Free Quotes! K & C Construction, NV#0079034 (775)691-6462 EXPERIENCED HOT TUB REPAIR AND MAINTENANCE, monthly/bi-monthly, new custom covers available! Serving Carson Valley area, Carson Spa Care (775)230-5328 FIREWOOD, HARDWOOD MIXED, SEASONED, split, $380 a cord, Almond only $420 a cord, Oak $460 a cord, delivery available, Jon (775)246-7186

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” The Afterlife

GREG’S SMALL ENGINE SERVICE AND REPAIR! Lawn Mowers, Snow Blowers, Portable Generators, Tillers, Shredders, Pressure Washers; On Site Pick-Up and Delivery, Serving Carson City, Carson Valley, Dayton gregtenbroeck@yahoo.com or visit us at gregsmallengine. com (775)790-0435 or (530)307-1132 1979 MGB CONVERTIBLE, GOOD CONDITION, runs, 4-speed with electric overdrive, 58,000 miles, Weber carburetor, new fuel pumps and more $4,300, call for more information (775)781-4364 FRESH BATCH, NEW CROP! ROASTED GARLIC Jam, Sold at Scolari’s Market, Carrols Corner, South Yerington, for more information (775)846-8972 or (775)4631265 SCI GRADING EXCAVATING ROAD WORK, house pads, drainage and erosion control, septic systems and pumping, wet and dry utilities, demolition, water and dump truck service, Erik Viksna NV#076958, CA#954210, (530)306-2647 or (775)629-9000 PET CARE SERVICE! JODY WADDING, OWNER since 1991, references available, boarding offered or visit your home; horses, dogs, cats, reptiles, birds, fish…

JWPetCare@aol.com (775)782-1212 or (775)781-1065

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A man wakes up in a dingy slum with no memory of how he got there. He wanders around aimlessly before he finds even one person who will talk to him. Some ratty beggar on the street turns out to be nice enough to explain where he is.

“You’re in the afterlife!” he tells the man, “But you must have been a real jerk when you were alive, because this is the fourth ring, and only the worst people come here.”

All of a sudden, a siren goes off, one of those air-raid things. The man is terrified but the beggar gets up calmly and leads him to a big, dilapidated warehouse where thousands of other similarly unkempt souls are gathering. When the man asks why they’re all here, the beggar points to a line of folding tables against the wall. Each table has some moldy bread, cups of dingy water, and some bowls of broth so thin they could have just run out of cups. Only then does the man realize how hungry he is. A guard in heavy body armor blows a whistle and all the people arrange themselves into three lines.

The beggar is helpful enough to explain them for the man.

“That one’s the bread line, that’s the broth line, and that’s the water line. All the food here is free, but if you want to get out of this maggot hole, you’ve got to work, because the gate guards into the third ring ask five hundred dollars to get through. I’ve heard the food is better there.”

So the man gets his food. It’s abominable, and right then and there, he vows to make five hundred dollars and get into the third ring. Unfortunately for him, very few people need work in the afterlife, especially when all of them are saving up to emigrate. Even still, after ten years of hard work, eating the moldy bread and indistinguishable soup and water, he finally saves up enough money. The guards let him through and he finds himself in the third ring. It’s nothing too fancy, if anything, it’s a bit below average for a real city, but to his eyes it is paradise. All the guards look much friendlier, and the houses and buildings, while not spacious or lavish, are at least up to code. And to his surprise, he runs right into a familiar former beggar as he crosses the street.

“What are the odds?” they both ask and they get to conversing. The beggar, it turns out, only managed to make it in himself a few months back. Their conversation is interrupted, however, by what sounds like a school bell. When the man seems confused, the beggar leads him to what looks like a giant gymnasium. Here, people are gathering once again, and the man begins to understand. On a line of folding tables against one wall are stacks of hot dogs, big bowls of salad, and solo cups full of fresh lemonade. A cop shouts for everyone’s attention and directs them all to stand in three lines. The beggar smiles at the man’s wonder and points to each line in turn. “That’s the hot dog line, that’s the salad line, and that’s the lemonade line.” The man gets in each line in turn and gets himself his lunch.

While he’s eating, basking in joy at not being stuck with old bread and water, the beggar encourages him, “The best part is, halfway through the year, they switch from hot dogs, salad, and lemonade to chicken, chili, and hot chocolate. You can never get tired of it!”

Sadly, this proved not to be true. After only a few days,

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the man did again get tired of the same meal every day. But he knew firsthand that he could change his lot, so one day he went up to the wall of the second circle. This time the guards were asking for ten thousand dollars. Well, the man didn’t like it, but he figured he had his whole afterlife ahead of him now that he was out of the fourth circle, and he could certainly take some time to save up. After ten years of hard work, it wasn’t too difficult for him to keep up the work ethic, and only twenty years later, he went back to the guards of the second ring with the money in hand. He went through the gate and found himself in a glittering, clean city full of glass and steel.

And wouldn’t you know it, but there, standing across the street was the same beggar, only now he was wearing a wellfitted suit. The man greeted the beggar as an old friend and they started talking again. Once again, their conversation was interrupted, only this time it was by beautiful church bells.

“Come,” the beggar told him, “I’ll take you to the evening meal.”

So, the man followed and they entered a glamorous ballroom filled with beautiful attendees. Even the cops here looked good, dressed in suits and sunglasses like bodyguards.

And sure enough, piled onto platters on huge mahogany tables against the far wall were plates of steak...Continued

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

bowls of the most delicious seafood soups, and glasses of champagne. One of the bodyguards cleared his throat loudly and politely requested that the attendees line up. Three lines were formed and the beggar pointed each line out in turn.

“That’s the steak line, that’s the soup line, and that’s the champagne line,” and then he added, “and apparently here, they change the meals FOUR times a year!”

The man rejoiced, ate, and was happy, and for once felt that nothing was lacking. Four changes a year was enough for him. But one day, out of curiosity, he went up to the bodyguards that guarded the gate into the first and final ring of the

afterlife and found they were asking for a million dollars to pass. Well the man was a bit disturbed by this, after all, the second ring seemed perfect to him. “What is it,” he thought, “that could possibly be more wonderful than what I have here?” That question haunted him for weeks until he came to a conclusion. He was used to working hard and he had all of eternity to save up, so he wanted, just once to see what he could possibly be missing in the first ring.

Fifty years later, he returned to the guards with a million dollars. When he stepped into the first ring he fell to his knees. The architecture was glorious and inhuman, and the bodyguard had turned into shining angels. To his surprise, someone helped him up off the street and when he looked, he realized he recognized who it was--it was the beggar he met in the fourth ring, adorned in a golden robe and glowing, and when he looked down at himself he realized he looked much the same.

The beggar laughed jovially. “I got here only three years ago myself, but somehow I knew you would be right here behind me. I’ve come back to this gate every day waiting for you to make it in!” Suddenly, the air was filled with the sound of angelic choirs and the beggar led the man off to a gigantic palace made of crystal and cloud. The room was filled with radiant citizens of the first circle and angels prepared everything. Sure enough, there was a line of massive altars against one wall, spilling over with glistening golden dragon meat, a pudding refined from clouds and dew and silk, and an ice cold tub of ambrosia and nectar ladled out individually into blindingly beautiful crystalline chalices. An angel fluttered from the ceiling and bowed silently to the assembled mass, who bowed respectfully back and then broke themselves into their lines on their own.

Smiling at the tradition, the beggar pointed to the first line.

“That’s the line for the dragon meat,” he said before turning to the next line, “and that’s the line for angeldust stew,” then he paused, confused.

“What is it?” the man asked his old friend.

The beggar replied, “There appears to be no punchline.”

(Author unknown) ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A GREAT ESCAPE close to home? Eagle Lake, Lassen County Vacation Rentals, Trophy Trout, all water sports, furnished cabins from $60 per night or $360 per week, visit our website at eaglelakeheritage.com or (800)459-5179 WINCHESTER MODEL 1892 RIFLE, ALSO known as the Fancy 92, 24” Octagon barrel, 38-40 caliber, factory checkered pistol grip stock, also take down version into two pieces, Nevada residents only and by appointment only (775)265-5961 HIGH QUALITY CARPET CLEANING! SERVING Carson Valley 20 years! Quality customer service at a reasonable price, Kinney Carpet Care (775)884-2244 or (775)782-6590

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Compulsive Eaters Anonymous

Concerned about your eating or weight? Meetings every Monday and Thursday 5:15pm, Tuesday 10am, 314 N. Division St. Carson City; every Sunday 5:30pm, United Methodist Church, Gardnerville - All are welcome! ceahow.org or Sue at (775)400-0098 1927 HUDSON PROJECT, SUPER Six, 4 DOOR Sedan plus manuals, spare parts and lots of literature $5,995 (775)315-6487

HIGH ROLLERS PAINTING FOR ALL YOUR PAINTING needs and drywall repairs! Competitive rates and quality workmanship, bonded and insured, NV#44048, highrollerspainting.net or (775)267-2534 $200 OFF ANY COMPLETE ROOFING JOB, NEW roof, re-roof, repairs, 10% off for repairs, $100 maximum, must present ad for discount, over 25 years experience, Licensed, Bonded and Insured, Tom Goldston Roofing, “Where Quality is Remembered Long After the Price is Forgotten” NV Lic#58203 (775)790-2461

October 9th- Columbus Day

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” The Envelope

Duetto Coming to Minden

The Carson Valley Arts Council will present Duetto in concert at CVIC Hall, on Friday, October 6th, 2017. Join us for an evening of timeless duets showcasing favorite pieces of music from musical theater to classical crossover, popular standards, and opera. Tickets are $22 in advance; $26 at the door; Kids under 18 are free. Listen to their music at www.

DuettoinConcert.com. For information or to purchase tickets, visit www.cvartscouncil.com or call (775)782-8207 1977 CHEVY STEPSIDE PICKUP; 2002 HARLEY Davidson Road King, 21,000 miles, Robbie (775)463-3365 CUSTOM CANVAS WORK! REPAIR, RE-STITCH, Replace; Boat Covers, Cockpit and Bow Covers, Spa Sun Covers and Patio Shade; Snaps, Grommets, Velcro, Zippers, Reinforcements, Jim/Minden (775)267-4434 or (775)230-8706 BATH TUBS REPAIRED, RESURFACED, AND recolored, Acrylic, Fiberglass and Porcelain, Call The Tub Doctor (530)495-1641 or (775)233- 5297 C.F.I. CERTIFIED CARPET, HARDWOOD, VINYL, no charge for furniture. Three-year labor warranty! Residential and Commercial, Competitive pricing, JS Flooring (775)267-4123

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A father passing by his son’s bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to ‘Dad.’ With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.

Dear Dad: It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.

I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.

But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it’s not only the passion...

Dad she’s pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy.

She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone.

We’ll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.

In the meantime, we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.

Don’t worry Dad. I’m 15 and I know how to take care of myself.

Someday I’m sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren. Love, Your Son John P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at Tommy’s house.

I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than a report card that’s in my center desk drawer.

I love you. Call me when it’s safe to come home.

TOP CASH FOR PRE-WWII SILVER INDIAN JEWELRY, postcards, bottles, mining, swords, advertising, books, guns, badges, toys, lamps, railroad, military, documents, Indian and gambling items, any condition, please call Ron (775)782-3893 BOBCAT SNOW BLOWER, SKIL BELT SANDER, Nail Gun with compressor, Bosch Jigsaw, Drill Router, Dremel Saw Grinder (775)220-1706 PIANO AND ORGAN PRIVATE INSTRUCTIONS, Member of Sierra Organ Club, Call Joanne Booth in Sunridge, Carson City (775)267-2429 CUSTOM MASONRY, ONE BRICK AT A TIME, Commercial/Residential, 3+ Better Business Bureau rating, serving Carson Valley 12+ years, Free Estimates, M Sqrd Masonry, NV#200616647 and CA#924187, Marc Duryee (775)450-6219 or (775)783-4753 LARGE RECLINER, BROWN, LIKE NEW, NO signs of wear $200 (775)790-0316

Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Deep Breathing

WNC Community Education Classes

Clay Club - Mondays 5:30pm-7:30pm, R.I.P.P.E.D. exercise class Monday/Wednesday’s 5:30pm-6:30pm, Discovering Nutritional Supplements - Tuesday 7pm–9pm, Women’s Self Defense Thursday 5:30 - 7:30, Intro to Calligraphy Saturday. 9am–11am, Understanding Social Security Tuesday 6pm–8pm, Family Emergency Binder at your Fingertips Tuesday 6pm–9 pm, Watercolor Woodblock Printing Saturday 9am–12 pm, Anthropology of Science Fiction Tuesday 7pm–9pm, Basic Computer Skills, and QuickBooks I, II or III – Check our website for additional classes, class descriptions, dates, cost, and register on line at www.campusece.net/ wnc/ or call (775)445-4268.

MASTER HOROLOGIST, CLOCK REPAIR, MUSEUM Quality Furniture, Chair Caning and Antique Everything Restoration, Grandfather Clock House Calls! A-1 Restorations since 1967, Larry (775)782-2422 REDLINE CONSTRUCTION, INC., SPECIALIZING in garages, additions, remodels, decks, patio covers, free estimates, NV#0080432, (775)781-3955 LONGARM QUILTING; CUSTOM-FREEHAND or computerized, custom order quilts from scratch; T-shirt, baby clothes, nursery, decor, etc., Stacy www.seedandmountain.com or (530)314-0910

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When I was a little girl my birth mom moved us up to Woodfords. It was scary to be moving again, to be headed toward one more tragedy. My birth mom was perpetually falling in love with men who ended up hurting her, us kids or both. I was in a state of numbness, trying not to think of escape plans, how to protect the “kids” (as I often referred to my younger four siblings), and what this guy would look like. I was in the back of a pickup truck next to the “kids” snuggled under a blanket. My birth mom always drove long distances at night with the five of us tucked in the back. As she continued driving I started to feel a brisk cold and I started to breath deeply of this new air (we were moving from Lakeport, a town not know for its quality of air). With every twist and turn in the road, my numbness turned into lightness and my thoughts changed from doom and gloom to wonderment. I felt I was floating and the deeper I breathed the lighter I got, until for the first time in my 12 years of life, I started to feel joy. There were struggles and hardships for my family in Woodfords in the coming years. However, my ability to cope with those struggles changed. Now, when there was pain, fear or worry I would walk out the door, stand next to a tree and breathe. Breathing in the Alpine air filled me with so much hope and after a few minutes of breathing deep I would smile, wipe my tears and head back into the chaos.

Alpine is filled with so much beauty and healthy ways to cope with anxieties, traumas, and sadness. I would like to share, through antidotal stories, the ways in which I utilize this place to its fullest potential of healing.

Learning to breathe properly, deeply and circulating oxygen to all parts of the body has been proven by extensive research to help stabilize emotions, increase cognitive function and help with overall wellbeing. To begin a practice of deep breathing inhale deeply, puffing out your abdomen, expanding your rib cage and letting the breath go. If you get dizzy stop you are not accustomed to that much oxygen and try again later. If the dizziness continues contact medical help immediately.

Milcah Valiente is a licensed clinical social worker and an Ananda yoga teacher. She owns a private mental health practice in Alpine County.

HOME REPAIR PRO, MR. FIX IT, ANY OUTSIDE/ INSIDE repairs, big or small, flat rate $40 per hour (775)691-5119 1989 CHEVY S10 4X4 PICKUP, V6, 5 SPEED, RUNS good, $800 (775)901-1912

Codependents Anonymous

CoDA “Developing Healthy Relationships” Carson City, Sparks and Kings Beach, visit www.coda.org or call for details, Al at (775)882-0884 or Bob C. (775)720-1040 BRANDED KIDS WEAR AT THE LOWEST POSSIBLE prices. All your favorite brands under one roof. Use special discount code DS11616 at www.opamrkt.com

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Birthday Celebration

So my wife is turning 32 next week. I told her not to get her hopes up for her birthday.

“After all,” I said, “The celebrations are only going to last half a minute.”

“What are you talking about?” she asked. I said, “It’s your thirty-second birthday.”

HIGH DESERT BARNS, CUSTOM STEEL BUILDINGS, Horse Shelters, Quality Barns built with 25 years of experience, highdesertbarns.com or (775)246-3004

October 16th- Boss’s Day

JOB FAIRS! INTERVIEWS! ARE YOU PREPARED? A great resume is your key to success. Military discount. (DD214 required) Call The Resume Business now!

(775)267-2711 PAINTING INTERIOR AND EXTERIOR, STAINING, faux and fine finishes, free estimates, Powers Painting, NV#68615, powerspainting.org or (775)781-5531 or (775)315-5179 1954 SHASTA 14’ TRAILER, UNDER MY BARN, cared for, everything works, 12V pump and 20-gallon H20, solar for lights too, cute as ever, selling with all stuff $3,150, call Phil (775)265-2734

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Sunday Sermon

“In preparation for my sermon next week, I want you all to read Mark Chapter 17. You are dismissed.” So next week everybody comes back to church. After singing a few hymns, the pastor comes to the pulpit.

“How many read Mark Chapter 17 like I said last week?”

Everyone raised their hand. The pastor says “and it’s a great chapter, amen??” There are shouts of “amen!” from the congregation. Then the pastor smirks.

“Well, Mark only has 16 chapters. I will now begin my sermon on the terrible sin of lying.”

KENMORE ELECTRIC DRYER $125; HOTSY STEAM CLEANER $750; Ford Mustang V6 Engine and Transmission (775)782-2422 I NEED TO RENT A 2-3 BEDROOM HOME, PREFER Gardnerville Ranchos or Gardnerville, pets allowed (775)450-3004 HYDRAULIC AND PNEUMATIC AIR CYLINDERS repair and rebuild, log splitters, tractors, farm equipment, dump trucks and trailers, etc. all makes and models. Machining, welding, fabrication, design, reasonable rates! 18 years experience, Ramco Fabrication, Shawn (775)2677358

The Soapy Sheep

My creations include a line of luxury bath products such as soap, felted soap, bath bombs, body butter, and much more!

These bath beauties were formerly featured at the Artisan Store in Carson City. Contact Diane for inquiries and special orders at (775)297-5471 WE KEEP YOUR HOME COMFORTABLE! Plumbing, Heating and Air Conditioning, Residential and Commercial. Serving Douglas County and surrounding communities, 20+ years experience, Mention this ad for 5% discount on service call, Riley Plumbing and Heating, Nevada Licensed (775)265-1765 RENT ME FOR FALL CLEANING, PUT A roll-off dumpster at your home, you load, we remove (775)2972320 LOCKHEED SKUNKWORKS - LOCKHEED Skunkworks; Buying Photos, Mementos, Autographs, Books.

Especially Blackbird, Jamie, integrity@prodigy.net or (775)720-2829 WANTED: KNIVES – FOLDING, HUNTING; MILITARY, New or used, any quantity. Wanted: Tobacco Pipes – Used or new, any quantity Jeff (775)720-2577

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Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com

NFL Disrespecting the Flag

It is said that a Retired Marine Colonel wrote the following letter to the NFL commissioner: Commissioner, I’ve been a season pass holder at Yankee Stadium, Yale Bowl and Giants Stadium. I missed the ’90-’91 season because I was with a battalion of Marines in Desert Storm. 14 of my wonderful Marines returned home with the American Flag draped across their lifeless bodies. My last conversation with one of them, Sgt Garrett Mongrella, was about how our Giants were going to the Super Bowl. He never got to see it.

Many friends, Marines, and Special Forces Soldiers who worked with or for me through the years returned home with the American Flag draped over their coffins.

Now I watch multi-millionaire athletes who never did anything in their lives but play a game, disrespect what brave Americans fought and died for. They are essentially spitting in the faces and on the graves of real men, men who have actually done something for this country besides playing with a ball and believing they’re something special! They’re not!

My Marines and Soldiers were!

You are complicit in this! You’ll fine players for large and small infractions but you lack the moral courage and respect for our nation and the fallen to put an immediate stop to this.

Yes, I know, it’s their 1st Amendment right to behave in such a despicable manner. What would happen if they came out and disrespected you or the refs publicly?

I observed a player getting a personal foul for twerking in the end zone after scoring. I guess that’s much worse than disrespecting the flag and our National Anthem. Hmmmmm, isn’t it his 1st Amendment right to express himself like an idiot in the end zone?

Why is taunting not allowed yet taunting America is OK? You fine players for wearing 9-11 commemorative shoes yet you allow players on the sidelines to sit, kneel or pump their pathetic fist in the air. They are so deprived with their multimillion dollar contracts for playing a freaking game! You condone it all by your refusal to act. You’re just as bad and disgusting as they are. I hope Americans boycott any sponsor who supports that rabble you call the NFL. I hope they turn off the TV when any team that allowed this disrespect to occur, without consequence, on the sidelines. I applaud those who have not.

Legends and heroes do NOT wear shoulder pads. They wear body armor and carry rifles.

They make minimum wage and spend months and years away from their families. They don’t do it for an hour on Sunday. They do it 24/7 often with lead, not footballs, coming in their direction. They watch their brothers carted off in pieces not on a gurney to get their knee iced. They don’t even have ice! Many don’t have legs or arms.

Some wear blue and risk their lives daily on the streets of America. They wear fire helmets and go upstairs into the fire rather than down to safety. On 9-11, hundreds vanished. They are the heroes.

I hope that your high paid protesting pretty boys and you look in that mirror when you shave tomorrow and see what

23

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Wife’s Cat

A man absolutely hated his wife’s cat and decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park. As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the driveway.

The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away.

He put the beast out and headed home.

Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat! He kept taking the cat further and further and the cat would always beat him home.

At last he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and left the cat there.

Hours later the man calls home to his wife: “Jen, is the cat there?” “Yes”, the wife answers, “why do you ask?”

Frustrated, the man answered, “Put him on the phone, I’m lost and need directions!”

WILL TEAR DOWN AND BUY OLD WOODEN Barns and Barn Wood! Insured and bonded (775)782-9192 MIKES HORSESHOEING SERVICE, 30 + YEARS experience! Serving Carson Valley and surrounding areas!

Mike Romine (775)350-0351 1982 ISUZU DIESEL PICKUP, 144,000 MILES, little rust, needs paint otherwise totally healthy, a lot of great miles ahead of her $2,800 firm (775)267-5266 you really are, legends in your own minds. You need to hit the road and take those worms with you!

Time to change the channel. (September 2016) TRAIL BIKES RALEIGH M20 $150; SCHWINN S-25 $100; Huffy Stone Mountain $40; Kulana Tandem new still in box $200, Dayton (775)722-4886 USA DRYWALL, REMODELS AND REPAIRS, Hanging, Taping, any texture, Additions, No Job too small, Insured and Bonded, NV#59981 (775)247-2539 GOT WOOD? SAMMY’S FIREWOOD, HONEST Quality Service, soft and hard wood, delivery available, located in Carson City, (775)315-0834

Come Join us at Johnson Lane Baptist Church

Bible Believing, Gospel Preaching, Christ Loving Church, Sunday, 9:45am Sunday School, 11am Sunday Service, 5pm Evening Service, 1581 Johnson Lane, Minden (775)2679590 BLIND AND WINDOW CLEANING SERVICES, residential and commercial, multi-story specialist, mobile blind cleaning, pressure washing, awning cleaning, Call Unlimited for a clear view! (775)883-6629

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BOOKKEEPING, PAYROLL, INCOME TAX PREPARATION, we do it all! 22+ years experience; Professional, reliable quality work personalized for your small business or personal situation. Pro-Balanced Bookkeeping (775)246-3363 RESIDENTIAL CLEANING, LICENSED, BONDED and insured with references, Free estimates, great cleaning, fair prices (775)220-4252

You Need a Shorter Password

While he was visiting, my father asked for the password to our Wi-Fi. “It’s taped under the modem,” I told him.

After three failed attempts to log on, he asked, “Am I spelling this right? T-A-P-E-D-U-N-D-E-R-T-H-E-M-O-DE-M?” PUPPY LOVE, PERSONALIZED GROOMING BY Auntie Dollie, 40 years experience, Monday through Saturday by appointment, TRE (775)266-3574 32” PANASONIC VIERE FLAT SCREEN TV WITH remote $150 Minden (805)217-2747

HELP WANTED! Visit sierrascoop.com/jobs

Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com

An Honest Boss

My boss pulled up to work with his sweet new sports car this morning and I complimented him on it.

He stepped out of his car, put his hand on my shoulder and replied, “Well, if you work hard, set goals, stay determined and put in long hours, I can get an even better one next year.”

PIONEER GLASS PLUS, RESIDENTIAL, COMMERCIAL, emergency services, fair prices, dependable quick service, quality work, 45 years experience, Frank Boudreau, owner NV#7876 (775)720-2373 ALPINE TREE SERVICE - TRIMMING, REMOVAL, grinding and lot clearing, no job too small, Licensed, Insured and over 35 years experience (775)721-2880 1995 25’ SUNDOWNER 3 HORSE SLANT trailer, all aluminum, fully loaded, kitchen, eating area, sleeping area, cabinets, separate rear tack area, generator $6,000 cash OBO, (775)463-1713 IRS PROBLEMS? FEDERAL AND ALL STATES, Past years returns and audit representation, “Service you can trust, quality you can afford.”, Call James A. Farnham, enrolled agent, 20 years experience, Reasonable Rates, Income Tax Services (775)392-0321

PUMPKIN + BINGO=PINGO!

Play Bingo and win jumbo pumpkins plus $100 WalMart gift cards! 12 noon to 6pm., Saturday October 14th Carson Valley United Methodist Church, 1375 Centerville Lane, Gardnerville. All ages family event open to the public (benefits Douglas County 4-H), Free admission, 2 games/$1, montanas@unce.unr.edu or (775)782-9960 HARLEY DAVIDSON ENGINE REBUILDING, 30 years experience, quick turn-around! Free pick –up and delivery; parts in one day! californiafritz.com or (530)6942521 FOR A NEW AND INNOVATIVE HAIR STYLE call Cathy Hallifax at Déjà vu Salon in Minden, mention this ad for $5 off any hair service (530)518-1166 or (775)7828776 PLUMBING, LEAKY PIPES, SERVICE AND REPAIR, remodels, new construction, residential and commercial, since 1997, bonded and insured, guaranteed, NV#47214, CA#513872, Call Robert (775)690-1441 HOME IN NEED OF IMPROVEMENT? ADDITIONS, remodels, garages, we do it all! Free estimates, 21 years experience, Carson Valley Construction Company LLC, NV#0074855 (775)291-1453

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” The Most Littered Item On Earth!

Pick a Husband, Any Husband

As the hostess at the casino buffet showed me to my table, I asked her to keep an eye out for my husband, who would be joining me momentarily. I started to describe him: “He has gray hair, wears glasses, has a potbelly …”

She stopped me there. “Honey,” she said, “today is senior day. They all look like that.”

THE RUSTIC COUNTRY FURNITURE COMPANY makes furniture from reclaimed lumber and barn wood.

Support your local craftsman. Chris (775)782-1130 or (775)552-5424 ASPEN ROOFING INC. FREE ESTIMATES, ALL types, Re-roofs, New and Repairs, NV#0069418, Insured and Bonded, Chris (775)230-8174 REFURBISHED MOBILE HOMES LOOKING FOR Good Tenants! 1 and 2 Bedroom for rent, payment starting from $565 plus all utilities, no pets please, available now in, Silver Springs and Yerington (775)316-0634 GUTTER AND GARAGE DOOR INSTALLATION, 10% Senior Discount, Serving Carson Valley and surrounding communities, 20+ years, Absolute Rain Gutters and Garage Doors, NV#0071909 (775)267-4422

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Even as the smoking rate has gone down, cigarette butts seem to be everywhere, scattered along green spaces, sidewalks, roadsides, beaches, waterways—virtually everywhere we go.

So, it may come as no surprise that cigarettes are the most littered item on earth. Worldwide, about 4.5 trillion cigarettes are littered each year. What does all that cigarette waste mean for the environment? Here are the basics about the environmental impact of cigarette butts.

How much litter is from cigarettes? Cigarettes make up more than one-third—nearly 38 percent—of all collected litter. Disposing of cigarettes on the ground or out of a car is so common that 75 percent of smokers report doing it.

All these cigarette butts cost big bucks to clean up. Cities spend between $3 million and $16 million on cigarette clean-up.

Is cigarette waste toxic? Yes! Cigarettes contain more than 7,000 chemicals, such as arsenic (used to kill rats) and formaldehyde (used to preserve dead animals, and humans, too). Littered cigarette butts leach toxic chemicals into the environment and can contaminate water. The toxic exposure can poison fish, as well as animals who eat cigarette butts.

What is in a cigarette filter? It may look like cotton, but 98 percent of cigarette filters are made of plastic fibers (cellulose acetate) that are tightly packed together, which leads to an estimated 1.69 billion pounds of cigarette butts winding up as toxic trash each year.

Are cigarettes biodegradable? No—the plastic fibers in cigarettes are non-biodegradable, meaning they won’t organically break down from living organisms.

How long does it take for cigarettes to decompose? Although cigarettes don’t break down naturally, they can gradually decompose depending on environmental conditions like the rain and sun. Estimates on the time it takes vary, but a recent study found that a cigarette butt was only about 38 percent decomposed after two years.

GENERAL 440 TWO MAN AUGER WITH post hole bit and large bit, engine stand, truck die down chains and binders, for more information call (775)265-6798 DO YOU LOVE YOUR DOG, BUT SOME TIMES don’t like your dog? Don’t worry, Nevada Dog Trainer can help, K.C. Carter (775)781-4742

Flying Pig Flea Market

Be a vendor. Come to browse, October 14th, 8am-4pm and October 15th, 9am-4pm, Fuji Park Building, Carson City, for information call (775)882-4717 or (775)315-0008 TOSHIBA 60” BIG SCREEN TV FOR SALE, WORKS good $150, Bob (775)781-0244 TIRED OF BEING DULL? I SHARPEN CHEFS knives, scissors of all types, clipper blades, clipper repair, TJ’S Sharpening (775)841-1079

Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com

27

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Two at the Gate

Two young boys stole a big bag of oranges from a neighbor.

They decided to go to a quiet place to share the lot equally.

One of them suggested the nearby cemetery.

As they were jumping over the gate to enter the cemetery, two oranges fell out of the big bag but they didn’t bother to pick them since they had enough in the bag.

A few minutes later, a drunk man on his way home from a bar passed near the cemetery gate and heard a voice saying: “One for me, one for you. One for me, one for you. One for me, one for you.”

He immediately sobered up and ran as fast as he could to a church nearby.

“Father, please come with me. Come and witness God and Satan sharing corpses at the cemetery.”

They both ran back to the cemetery gate and the voice continued: “One for me, one for you. One for me, one for you. One for me, one for you.”

Suddenly, the voice stopped counting and said: “What about the two at the gate?”

THOMAS J. BARTELS, HOROLOGIST, CLOCKS old and new repaired and restored. Authorized agent for Howard Miller, Ridgeway, and Sleigh, all work guaranteed! tomjbartels@gmail.com or (775)265-5541 or (775)901-1848

Boy Scouts Exploring Co-ed Program

8/24/17 - The head of the Girl Scouts accused the Boy Scouts of America of a “covert campaign to recruit girls,” as a way to boost flagging membership, according to a letter published by BuzzFeed News.

“We are confused as to why, rather than working to appeal to the 90 percent of boys who are not involved in BSA programs, you would choose to target girls,” Kathy Hopinkah Hannan, Girl Scouts of the USA’s national president, wrote in the letter sent to the Boy Scouts national president on Monday.

“The Boy Scouts has been exploring the benefits of bringing scouting to every member of the family - boys and girls,” Boy Scouts of America spokeswoman Effie Delimarkos tells NPR. She says that exploration is based on “numerous requests from families,” but that no decision has been made yet.

VORTEX RAZOR BINOCULARS, 12X50 HD OPEN Country Big Game Glasses, like new, used on 3 hunts and come with life time guarantee, paid $1,400 new, will take $1,000 firm (775)843-6192 PERFECTO GARDENING SERVICES, SERVING Carson Valley over 20 Years! Tree and Bush trimming, lawn care, competitive rates and all work guaranteed (775)2657081

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PUBLISHER’S NOTICE: All real estate advertising in this paper is subject to the Fair Housing Act which makes it illegal to advertise “any preference, limitations or discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex, handicap, familial status or national origin, or an intention to make any such preference, limitation or discrimination.” This magazine will not knowingly accept any advertisement for real estate which is a violation of the law; our readers are hereby informed that all dwellings advertised in this publication are available on an equal opportunity basis.

To complain of discrimination call HUD toll-free.

1992 FORD F250 ASKING $3,000 (775)266-3820

Happy October Birthdays!

May life bring you all the greatest joys and never-ending happiness. Have a wonderful birthday!

HOT TUB SERVICE AND REPAIR, WEEKLY and bi weekly service, reasonable rates, private homes and vacation rentals, call Tahoe Sierra Hot Tubs (775)267-2490 1986 CLASS C PRELUDE MOTORHOME, sleeps 6, good tires, good for Burning Man $3,500; Bicycles, 4 regular, 1 tandem, need tires and tubes, Bob/Dayton, (1775)508-8579 ACME BOAT & RV STORAGE – RESIDENT MANAGER, fenced, lighted, lowest rates around, Gardnerville (775)265-4766

Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” A Little Bible Story

A father was reading Bible stories to his young son.

He read, “The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city. But his wife looked back and was turned to salt.”

His son asked, “What happened to the flea?”

LICENSED AND BONDED ELECTRICIAN, ADDITIONS, remodels, extra outlets, switches, light fixtures, ceiling fans, trouble shooting and power panel upgrades, etc., 18 years experience, Free Estimates, Senior Discount, Degenspark Electric NV#52647 (775)267-4229 WHO NEEDS A FANTASTIC TRANSPORTATION car? 1988 Oldsmobile 4 door 88, total new brake job, 23 miles per gallon, one owner family car, only 133,000 miles $3,200 (775)267-5266 LOCAL HONEY, JAM AND ORGANIC OLIVE Oil Soaps Just Fabulous Repurposed Furniture is your OneStop-Shop for Shabby Chic Furniture, Antiques and Rusty Gold. Come see what we do! 1432A Industrial Way, Gardnerville, justfabuloustreasures.com or (775)392-33 SMITH VALLEY IRRIGATION – SERVING NEVADA and Sierra Communities for 38 Years with Ag Irrigation Systems and Parts (775)465-2316

Community Bible Study Co-ed

Monday evening class, LifePoint Church, Minden, 6:55pm8:30pm. Women’s, Men’s, Couples’ groups still available, Sandy Wingfield (775)392-4213 A BAD TILE JOB CAN BE LIKE A BAD HAIRCUT, but it doesn’t grow back, so don’t get hacked! Done right the first time, Sundance Tile and Marble, NV#58795 (775)691-9954 MINOR TO MAJOR AUTOMOTIVE REPAIRS, Tires and More! ASE Certified Master Mechanic, 35 years same location! Senior Discounts, Bobs Shell Service, Carson City (775)883-7919 VOICE AND PIANO LESSONS, BEGINNER to Advanced students, experienced teacher, performer, music degree. Call The Songlady! Carolyn Lancaster (775)7201918 or (775)267-2582 Writing the Editor - We welcome all articles, letters, jokes and comments on Sierra Scoop, local issues, community news and free private party ads, published as space provides. These articles, letters, comments do not necessarily reflect our opinion. All public input is welcome. sierrascoop@charter.net, Phone (775)782-4520

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Visit us at www.SierraScoop.com Why Flooded-Out Cars Are Likely Total Losses

Auto owners whose vehicles were swept up by Hurricane Harvey are facing two hard facts right now: Their car is almost certainly totaled, if it was swamped, and they’ll get no money back if they don’t have comprehensive insurance, experts say.

“All we know is there are/were thousands of submerged vehicles,” says Mark Hanna, spokesman for the Insurance Council of Texas. “Many owners are covered with comprehensive insurance, but there are many without it.”

In Texas, he says, 15 percent of motorists have no car insurance, and of those who do, 75 percent have comprehensive insurance. That leaves a lot of car owners without any protection.

You may have a strong emotional connection to your car, but if it has been in a flood, it might be too expensive to repair.

That’s because “when water enters your engine’s air intake, it can lead to all sorts of problems,” says John Ibbotson, chief mechanic for Consumer Reports.

On most cars, the intake is at the front of the car, and it brings in fresh air to the engine as you drive.

“The water can enter this intake and fill your engine cylinders, which can stall the motor or leave the motor unable to turn over and start. In addition, there is the chance of computer modules failing from getting wet and long-term electrical problems down the road,” he says.

HUSQVARNA LAWN MOWER LC121P 21” 163CC OHV, 1 year new $150, Minden (805)217-2747 RENEE’S UPHOLSTERY, FORMERLY OF SARAH’S, specializing in motorcycle seats, furniture, marine, automotive, 20 years experience, rquell@sbcglobal.net or (775)530-3941 D R LANDSCAPING, DEFENSIBLE SPACE, TREE work and yard cleanups, sprinkler repairs and weed abatement, house and garage clean ups, Dave (775)6710808

Call for Vendors and Crafters

The Antelope Valley Women’s Club is looking for vendors for the 50th Annual Winter Bazaar November 12th, 2017.

Please call Annie at (760)709-0235 or Nancy at (530)4952488 1959 PLYMOUTH FURY, TWO DOOR HARD TOP, V8, complete, body restored (775)782-2422 WE HAVE A LARGE SELECTION OF NEW AND Used RV’s and a full parts and service department, Carson City RV, 4550 North Carson Street, North Highway 395 (775)882-8335

October 28th- Nevada Day 31

“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Harsh Words

I ran into a stranger as he passed by, “Oh excuse me please” was my reply. He said, “Please excuse me too; I wasn’t watching for you.” We were very polite, this stranger and I. We went on our way saying good-bye.

But at home a difference is told, how we treat our loved ones, young and old. Later that day, cooking the evening meal, My son stood beside me very still. As I turned, I nearly knocked him down. “Move out of the way,” I said with a frown.

He walked away, his little heartbroken. I didn’t realize how harshly I’d spoken.

While I lay awake in bed, God’s still small voice came to me and said, “While dealing with a stranger, common courtesy you use, but the children you love, you seem to abuse. Go and look on the kitchen floor, you’ll find some flowers there by the door. Those are the flowers he brought for you. He picked them himself: pink, yellow and blue. He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise, and you never saw the tears that filled his little eyes.”

By this time, I felt very small, and now my tears began to fall. I quietly went and knelt by his bed; “Wake up, little one, wake up,” I said. “Are these the flowers you picked for me?”

He smiled, “I found ‘em, out by the tree. I picked ‘em because they’re pretty like you. I knew you’d like ‘em, especially the blue.”

I said, “Son, I’m very sorry for the way I acted today; I

CASH PAID FOR OLD COSTUME JEWELRY: All types including Silver, Copper, Rhinestones, Old Plastics, Glass, Pot Metal, Pins, Bracelets, Rings, Necklaces, Old Watches, Lockets, larger quantities preferred, please leave clear message on home phone, I call everyone back, Joanne (775)465-9422 COMPASSIONATE COUNSELING TO ASSIST YOU with personal issues, decision-making, and self esteem development. Please call Elizabeth at (775)815-5431

Caregivers Needed

Join our team of Caregivers and make a difference in the lives of seniors. Provide companionship and bring assisted living into their home. Full-time, part-time, days, nights, 12 hour, and 24 hour shifts available. Retired and mature adults encourage to apply. EOE Apply online eden-homecare.com (775)392-2000 SPRING AIR DOUBLE BED, ALMOST NEW, INCLUDES metal bed frame $125; also available, set of double sheets and mattress pad (775)782-8648 IS WINDOW CLEANING A PAIN? 41 YEARS EXPERIENCE, licensed and insured, Dave Adams Window Cleaning call for an over the phone price! “The science of perfection” (775)241-2318

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

shouldn’t have yelled at you that way.”

He said, “Oh, Mom, that’s okay. I love you anyway.”

I said, “Son, I love you too, and I do like the flowers, especially the blue.”

COMPLETE LANDSCAPING, RESIDENTIAL and commercial, weekly maintenance, tree trimming, emergency repairs, sprinklers/drip, pavers, patios, retaining walls, Davenport Landscape and Design, NV Lic.#0074827, davenportlandscape.com or (775)265-1491 or (775)721-8439 TNT UPHOLSTERY, CUSTOM AUTOS, BOATS, furniture and leather work, free estimates, 1482 Southgate Dr., #106, Gardnerville (775)267-5433

Vital Signs

What Was Its Name?

Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, “Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?”

“Outstanding,” Fred replied. “They taught us all the latest psychological techniques, visualization, association. It made a huge difference for me.”

“That’s great! What was the name of the clinic?”

Fred went blank he thought and thought, but couldn’t remember.

Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, “What do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns?”

“You mean a rose?”

“Yes, that’s it!” He turned to his wife. “Rose, what was the name of that clinic?”

She’s only in her 40s, but my friend Mary has bounced back from cancer, heart problems, even a stroke. Through it all, she and her husband, Mark, have kept their sense of humor. One day she said, “You know what kills me …?”

Smiling, Mark teased, “Apparently nothing.”

APPLIANCE REPAIR, FREE ESTIMATES ON CARRY in with this ad, Appliance repair in your home 50% off service call if we do the repair. Appliance repair senior discounts 20%, Since 1960, Sam’s TV/Appliance (775)885-1939

The publisher does not assume any responsibility for the contents of any advertising herein, and all representation or warranties made in such advertising are those of the advertisers and not the publishers.

“A MOVING EXPERIENCE” - MOVE ASSISTANCE, 25 years experience, Senior Discounts! Ken Jeter, kenjeter@sbcglobal.net or (775)530-8932 or (775)884-3906

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WNC Driver Education

WNC offers a 30 Hour New Driver Education classes.

In person class fee is $100. All in person class times are 8:30am-4:30pm with a 30-minute lunch break. Also included in our in-person classes are guest speakers, when available, - law enforcement, insurance agents, DMV, and a tire representative. Two things to remember all new drivers under the age of 18 MUST take a 30-Hour New Driver Education class to obtain a Nevada Driver’s License and most insurance companies will offer a discount upon successful completion

of our nationally recognized Drive Right program.

Carson City, Fallon and Fernley - Saturday’s October 14 – November 18 – NOTE: no class October 28 or November 11, 2017. Douglas – Monday – Thursday - October 23 – 26, 2017.

WNC continues to offer an on-line 30-Hour New Driver Education course. Cost $90 and students have up to 60 days to complete the course. Register at www.campusce.net/wnc/ or call (775)445-4463.

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor” Train Stations

Life is like a journey on a train with its stations, with changes of routes and with accidents! At birth, we boarded the train and met our parents, and we believe they will always travel on our side. However, at some station our parents will step down from the train, leaving us on this journey alone. As time goes by, other people will board the train; and they will be significant i.e. our siblings, friends, children, and even the love of our life. Many will step down and leave a permanent vacuum. Others will go so unnoticed that we don’t realize that they vacated their seats! This train ride will be full of joy, sorrow, fantasy, expectations, hellos, goodbyes, and farewells. Success consists of having a good relationship with all the passengers…requiring that we give the best of ourselves.

The mystery to everyone is: We do not know at which station we ourselves will step down. So, we must live in the best way – Love, forgive, and offer the best of who we are. It is important to do this because when the time comes for us to step down and leave our seat empty, we should leave behind beautiful memories for those who will continue to travel on the train of life without us. I wish you a joyful journey for the coming years on your train of life. Reap success, give lots of love and be happy. More importantly, be thankful for the journey! Lastly, we thank you all for being one of the passengers on our train!

OUR BUSINESS IS GROWING! IRRIGATION, waterbased feeding, tree trimming, cleanup, hauling, leafing!

Pyramid Lawn Service Inc. Residential Lawn Care, Licensed and Bonded, Owned by Ruben Vargas (775)4501197 or (775)220-8578 LET US UNLOAD ON YOU! TOP SOIL, ROCK, DG, worm castings etc. Tight time line? We’re really fast! 30+ years experience, serving Carson and surrounding communities, Nevada Organics (775)882-9500 October 31st - Happy Halloween!

HANDYMAN SERVICE – HOME REPAIRS, FENCING Repair/Replacement, Hauling, Trash Removal, Shrub and Tree Trimming and Removal, and Weed Removal, Free Estimates (775)781-1747 PORSCHES WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE! OLD Porsches 1950 to 1973, looking for a Porsche 356, 911 or 912, running or not, with or without engine or transmission, also interested in parts. Will pay cash! Have trailer will travel (775)291-6827 MULTI PURPOSE FLATBED TRAILER, BED DIMENSIONS 13’Lx5½’W, great for ATV/OHV or construction, new tires and paint $1,299 OBO (775)720-9273 CLEAR THE CLUTTER! HARRY’S HAULING; pianos, spas, safes or anything else, serving the Carson Valley communities (775)291-6648 SEW-WHAT UPHOLSTERY, CUSTOM WORK, leather and antiques, 40+ years experience, Carson Valley, Leslie (775)901-2035 BEAUTIFUL BAMBOO STYLE DINING ROOM table (72½”Lx44”W) with 6 chairs, $300 OBO; Roper electric dryer $50; Hamilton Beach microwave $25 (775)246-7127 $69 SERVICE CALL, ACADEMY APPLIANCE Service; washers, dryers, refrigerators, ranges, dishwashers, compactors, some areas extra charge, Serving Carson Valley (775)781-4725

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“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”

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