MOBILE COMPUTER REPAIR AND SERVICE - Quality work performed in-shop, in office or in-home. Dependable, affordable! Over 17+ Years Experience. Proudly serving Carson Valley and Surrounding Communities. Call Nick at Technologic Computer Repair (775)450-7570
LAWN CARE SERVICE! AERATING, THATCHING, Mowing, Trimming, Pruning, Sprinklers/Repair, General Yard Clean Up, Free Estimates, 10+ Years Experience, Ruben (775)430-3585
GREAT DEAL! ALMOST NEW CRAFTSMAN 28” gas power snow blower, full loaded, electronic ignition, can’t use due disability, $700 OBO (775)790-2724
TOPAZ LAKE LONG TERM RV SITES AVAILABLE. Water, septic and garbage included. Propane and electricity not included - $550-$600 a month. Contact Pat at (775)781-2273
SCAFFOLDING - ALUMINUM WITH ADJUSTABLE wheels, 8’ long x 24” wide, height ranges from 7’ to 16’ $500 (702)280-5795
FN HIGH POWER, 9MM, NEW, $900; PSA AR15, 5.56/.223, new, $550; Rossi, RP22, 22LR, pump slide, new, $425; Rossi, R92, lever action, 38/357, new, $725; Kimber, Micro9, 9mm, new, $700 (75)720-6076
WILL TEAR DOWN AND BUY OLD WOODEN Barns and Barn Wood! Insured and bonded (775)782-9192
DIXIE-NORFOLK COCACOLA VENDING MACHINE Model 180 manufactured 1996 works well $1,000 (775)9010717
BATH TUBS REPAIRED, RESURFACED, AND re-colored, Acrylic, Fiberglass and Porcelain, Call The Tub Doctor (775)233- 5297
RESIDENT MANAGER NEEDED - RV STORAGE business Duties: Create accounts, monitor activity, light maintenance PAY: Residence Utilities Salary Non-Smoking, Security deposit and background check before move in (775)781-5178
Simple one liners are the best
1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences..... He thought he was God and I didn’t. 2. I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it. 3. I work hard because millions on welfare depend on me! 4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. 5. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe. 6. I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing. 7. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes. . 8. The gene pool could use a little chlorine. 9. Being “over the hill” is much better than being under it! 10. Wrinkled was not one of the things i wanted to be when i grew up. 11. I have an arts degree; do you want fries with that? 12. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance. 13. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere! 14. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead. 15. I smile because I don’t know what the heck is going on.
Parking the Car
Norman and his wife live in Utah. One winter morning while listening to the radio, they hear the announcer say, “We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snow plough can get through.”
Norman’s wife goes out and moves her car. A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer says, “We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street, so the snow plough can get through.” Norman’s wife goes out and moves her car again.
The next week they are having breakfast again, when the radio announcer says, “We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park...........” then the electric power goes out.
Norman’s wife is very upset, and with a worried look on her face she says, “Honey, I don’t know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the plough can get through?”
With the love and understanding in his voice like all men who have partners, Norman says, “Why don’t you just leave it in the garage this time sweety?”
AR-STONER AR-15 Pistol A3 Upper RECEIVER Assembly
223 Remington (Wylde) 7.5” Barrel 7” M-Lok Hand-guard $300. New Thompson Center Impact Muzzleloading Rifle 50 Caliber 26” Barrel #12285 Mossy Oak Bottomland $300. AR .556. 223 small rifle primers 1000 , CFE .223/ Accurate 2460 powder 3lbs., 200 loaded rounds, 500 FMJ Hornady bullets, 500 .556/.223 brass $500. .270 rounds (200) $100 (775)901-1256
I wish you enough
I overheard a father and daughter at an airport in their last moments together. They had announced her plane’s departure, and standing near the door; he said to his daughter, “I love you; I wish you enough.”
She said, “Daddy, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Daddy.” They kissed goodbye, and she left.
He walked over toward the window where I was seated. Standing there, I could see he wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on his privacy, but he welcomed me in by asking, “Did you ever say goodbye to someone knowing it would be forever?” “Yes, I have,” I replied.
Saying that brought back memories of expressing my love and appreciation for all my Dad had done for me. Recognizing that his days were limited, I took the time to tell him face to face how much he meant to me. So I knew what this man was experiencing.
“Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever goodbye?” I asked.
“I am old, and she lives much too far away. I have challenges ahead, and the reality is, her next trip back will be for my funeral, ” he said.
“When you were saying goodbye I heard you say, ‘I wish you enough.’ May I ask what that means?”
He began to smile. “That’s a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone.” He paused for a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail; he smiled even more.
“When we said ‘I wish you enough,’ we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with enough good things to sustain them,” he continued and then turning toward me he shared the following as if he were reciting it from memory.
“I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright. I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more. I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive. I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger. I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting. I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess. I wish enough “Hello’s” to get you through the final “Goodbye.” He then began to sob and walked away.
THOMAS J. BARTELS, HOROLOGIST, CLOCKS old and new repaired and restored. Authorized agent for Howard Miller, Ridgeway, and Sleigh, all work guaranteed! tomjbartels@gmail.com or (775)265-5541 or (775)901-1848
Respect old people. They graduated school without Google or Wikipedia.
Seeking advice
A CEO of a large company is seeking advice on whether or not to downsize his company. He turns to his eternally optimistic secretary and asks, “Is this glass half full or half empty?” Well you know me, she replies, “be thankful for what you have. It’s half full!”
He then turns to his eternally pessimistic accountant. “Well, is it half full, or half empty?” He repeats. “Sir, you know my stance. There can always be more... It’s half empty to me.”
He then turns to the re-engineering consultant sitting next to him. “Well, you can see my dilemma. What do you think?”
The consultant looks at the half full glass of water, and then looks up at the CEO. “Well, looks like you’ve got more glass there than you need.”
HOME IN NEED OF IMPROVEMENT? ADDITIONS, remodels, garages, we do it all! Free estimates, 25+ years experience, Carson Valley Construction Company LLC, NV#0074855 (775)291-1453
Careful!
A wife is frying eggs for her husband in the morning. Suddenly the husband appears behind the wife’s back and says: “Careful, CAREFUL, put more fat in the pan! You’re frying too many at a time. TOO MANY! Flip them! FLIP THEM! Come on! Put more fat in there. Oh dear lord. How are you gonna make space for the fat now, look, they’re sticking to the pan! Careful! Careful now! You never listen to me when I cook! NEVER! Flip them over already. HURRY! ARE YOU CRAZY? Take it easy! EASY! Nooo, don’t forget the salt. Put salt on them, SALT!”
The wife stares at her husband: “What’s wrong with you?! You think I can’t fry a few eggs?!”
The husband answers calmly: “I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I’m driving.”
CUSTOM INTERNET SERVICE! UP TO 100 MBPS (not satellite, not DSL). Great in rural areas, www.rural-internet.us or call Patrick (775)297-4777
TIRED OF BEING DULL? I SHARPEN CHEFS knives, scissors of all types, TJ’S Sharpening (775)841-1079
DIXIE-NORCO COCA-COLA VENDING machine, manufactured 1996, works great $1,000 (775)901-0717
Things most everyone is
secretly guilty of
doing
Carefully inspecting an item at the grocery store because someone is standing in front of the one you actually want. Calling someone “buddy” because you forgot their name. Stumbling and turning it into a funny dance. Reading directions on a box of food, throwing it in the trash, then retrieving it because you’ve forgotten everything already. Lying to the doctor when they ask about your alcoholic drink consumption. Accidentally sending a text to the person you’re talking about. Lowering the music on your car stereo so you can see better.
Checking your symptoms on the internet, and convincing yourself you’re on death’s door. Doing that cozy-in-bed cricket leg rub Searching for your phone while holding it in your hand. Carrying way too much from your car so you can “make it in one trip”. Pulling back the shower curtain just to make sure there are no serial killers hiding behind there. Eating a “family size” bag of chips by yourself. Startling yourself when you see your face in your phone’s front-facing camera. Rehearsing a conversation in your head that you’ll probably never have.
ALPINE TREE SERVICE - TRIMMING, REMOVAL, grinding and lot clearing, no job too small, Licensed, Insured and over 35+ years experience (530)721-3136
USA DRYWALL LLC, REMODELS AND REPAIRS, Hanging, Taping, any texture, Additions, No Job too small, Insured and Bonded, NV#8894 (775)247-2539
Finding Jesus
A Sunday school teacher is concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus, so he asks his class, Where is Jesus today?
Steven raises his hand and says, He’s in Heaven. Mary answers, He’s in my heart.
Little Johnny waves his hand furiously and blurts out, he’s in our bathroom! The surprised teacher asks little Johnny how he knows this.
Well, little Johnny says, every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door and yells Jesus, are you still in there?!
D R LANDSCAPING, DEFENSIBLE SPACE, TREE work and yard cleanups, sprinkler repairs and weed abatement, house and garage clean ups, Dave (775)671-0808
Bus Drivers & Substitute Bus Drivers Wanted
Douglas County School District is currently accepting applications for: Contracted School Bus Drivers & Substitute School Bus Drivers, Starting Salary: $17.00/hour or up to 5 years of bus driving experience. Varied Hours up to 40 hours a week. Contracted positions for permanent routes include; Full benefits; medical, dental, vision & life insurance. Paid sick leave & holidays. NV PERS retirement. Please apply online: dcsd.k12.nv.us/employment to complete an application.
C-THRU WINDOW CLEANING, “WINDOW CLEANING at its finest”, Call Casey (775)350-8021
California Sagebrush
California sagebrush is native to western California and Baja, Mexico. This plant is commonly seen in most of the plant regions of southern California (scrub, chaparral, alpine, desert valleys).
California sagebrush is considered one of the most medicinally useful plants. Its leaves were used for multiple health concerns, most notably as a natural remedy for colds. The Kumeyaay, from the San Diego region, dried out sagebrush leaves then prepared a tea from the foliage. This decoction was used to treat skin lesions. The tea was also drunk as a means to reduce fever symptoms.
The bitter leaves are antimicrobial in nature. For this reason –the fumes from a burning bundle of sagebrush leaves were considered to help clear out a respiratory tract infection.
The Cahuilla and Tongva people used California sagebrush as a gynecological aid. A decoction was used to ease menopause trauma. The plant was also administered at the beginning of a menstral period – and to ease the pains associated with childbirth. It is thought that the plant stimulates uterine mucosa, this activity would help expedite childbirth.
The Cahuilla people of the Coachella Valley region smoked the dried leaves of California sagebrush, for pleasure.
Aside from medicinal properties, this sagebrush was also used as a construction material for homes. The plant was a popular material for roofing and the wattling of walls.
Granaries and storage facilities were often made from California sagebrush.
The strong scented foliage of this plant was laid out over perishable foods to help preserve them. Fresh berries and tubers would be covered with a layer of sagebrush branches. Clearly, the antimicrobial nature of the leaves lended well to keeping foods fresh and uncontaminated. (ethnoherbalist.com)
ROOF! WE DO ROOFS FOR A LIVING, NOT FOR a hobby! High quality, economical price, call Ed (775)297-2320
WANTED! COMIC BOOKS AND/OR SPORTS CARDS, I can come to you (562)706-4224
TAKE CARE OF YOUR LOVED ONES. WILLS and Trusts. Day R. Williams, Attorney at Law, 1601 Fairview Drive, Suite C, Carson City, NV. Call Day today! (775)885-8398
Dead skin cells are a main ingredient in household dust
Here’s an interesting science fact for you: According to researchers at Imperial College London, humans shed around 200 million skin cells each hour—and they have to go somewhere when we’re indoors. If the idea of skin dust isn’t sitting well with you, you should know that a report from the American Chemical Society found that a skin oil called squalene naturally helps reduce indoor ozone levels by up to 15 percent. (Readers Digest)
CUJO’S HOG HOUSE! V-TWIN Motorcycle repair, Maintenance and accessories, also sales and service of Frankenstein Trike conversions, Factory Trained PHD and ASE Certified, 1430 Industrial Way, Unit C (in the back) (775)782-6051
FOR A NEW AND INNOVATIVE HAIR STYLE call Cathy Hallifax at Déjà vu Salon in Minden, mention this ad for $5 off any hair service (530)518-1166 or (775)782-8776
PORSCHES WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE! OLD Porsches 1950 to 1973, looking for a Porsche 356, 911 or 912, running or not, with or without engine or transmission, also interested in parts. Will pay cash! Have trailer will travel (775)291-6827
One Wish..
A man exploring the ancient Pyramids of Egypt while on vacation stumbled across a secret room. He sneaked away from the tour group and explored the room. He found a dusty lamp and picked it up. While he wiped the dust off the lamp a genie appeared in a puff of smoke.
“For freeing me from my prison, I will grant you a wish, what will it be sire?”
The man thought for a moment, then said, “I want a spectacular job, a job that no man has ever succeeded at or has ever attempted to do.”
“Allah Ka Zam!” said the genie. “You’re a housewife!”
WINE MAKING EQUIPMENT, USED – VERY GOOD, Crusher-destemmer, #45 grape press, Teel pump, floor corker, bottle spritzer and drying tree, 5 gallon carboys (10), 6 gallon carboys (1), 20 gallon SS pressure tank, 30 gallon SS pressure tank, CO2 tank and regulator, several 50 gallon fermentation drums, fermentation blankets, 5 gallon soda pressure tanks (5), barrel stands (2), miscellaneous tubing, miscellaneous SS tri-clover and plastic fittings, burette, Asking $1,900 for all! (775)265-9159
Wine is the answer. What was the question?
How long will it take?
A fellow was walking along a country road when he came upon a farmer working in his field. The man called out to the farmer, “How long will it take me to get to the next town?”
The farmer didn’t answer. The guy waited a bit and then started walking again. After the man had gone about a hundred yards, the farmer yelled out “About 20 minutes!”
“Thank you. But why didn’t you tell me that when I asked you?” “Didn’t know how fast you could walk”.
STANDARD FLAG GRAVEL, R&J TRUCKING delivers, 25 years experience, call Roger (775)233-7337
Kitchen Refinishing Services
BY ‘CABINET GUARD’ PRODUCTS (pat. pending)
DON’T RE-FACE OR REPLACE YOUR CABINETS UNTIL YOU EVALUATE OUR REFURBISHING / SERVICES! (WE ARE 80% LESS COSTLY)
We utilize exclusive Products & Processes by ‘CABINET GUARD’ (pat. pending) w/ 40 + years of development by founder & master craftsman Dana Ayler: “I will wind back the clock on your Cabinets”.
We blend over, ‘Refurbishing’ your original cabinet finish, so there is no stripping or sanding mess! We are completely dustless! Starting w/ a thorough cleaning, then rejuvenate & re-luster the wood’s grain for its contribution and light color (tint) to block yellowing from the original finish, w/ 100% UV protection all with exclusive ‘CABINET GUARD’ (pat. pending) products.
Final topcoat/s, very durable, strong enough for hardwood flooring, superior ware, extreme moisture resistance, 100 % UVProtected. * Easier to clean & maintain * Spray-less & EPA –Non -Toxic * No need to empty out Cabinets * You do not lose daily function of your kitchen * Good for environment, no tree cutting * Door Sampling * Written local Client Testimonials & References * Up to 20% in discounts, inquire.
Workdays: 9:00 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. Returning your kitchen back to you until 9:00 a.m. the next morning! I Dana, perform all work on job site.
Questions: www.danadesignnv@hotmail.com or call: Dana, Cabinets Etc. @ (775)781-7462 or Kathy @ (775)782-7821 or visit our new website cabinetguard.net NV. Lic. #18331, CA. Lic. #310071.
CUSTOM POOL TABLE, MANUFACTURED BY Bauman Billiards, 4’x8’, include cover, balls, rack, five cue sticks, crutch, powder, 2 bar stools, Asking $2,000 OBO (775)2679345
The world is full of willing people, some willing to work, the rest willing to let them.
MONUMENTS UNLIMITED, HEADSTONES, curbing, granite and concrete, all colors available, quality work (775)720-1627
A Message from God
One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the rascally behavior that was going on.
He decided to send an angel down to Earth to check it out. When the angel returned, he told God, “Yes, it is bad on Earth; 95% are misbehaving and 5% are not.”
God thought for a moment and said, “Maybe I had better send down a second angel to get another opinion.” So God called another angel and sent him to Earth for a time.
When that angel returned he went to God and said, “Yes, it’s true. The Earth is in decline; 95% are misbehaving and 5% are being good.” God was not pleased.
So while he was debating what to do about the 95%, He decided to E-mail the 5% that were good to encourage them — give them a little something to help them keep going.
Do you know what that E-mail said? No? Well, I didn’t get one either.
The Mailbox
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when an attractive blonde neighbor came out of her house and went straight to her mailbox. She opened it, then slammed it shut, and stormed back in her house. A little later, she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox, opened it and slammed it shut again. Angered, she again stormed back in her house.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out yet again. She marched to the mailbox, opened it, and then slammed it shut harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions, the man asked, “Is something wrong?” “There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps giving me a message saying “You’ve Got Mail.”
SUTRO LANDSCAPING, ONE CALL DOES IT all; lawn care, aerating and thatching, sprinkler systems, sod installation and planting, clean-ups and much more, Free Estimates, Operated by owner, NV#50048 (775)246-4871 or (775)291-3095
RENT ME FOR WINTER CLEANING, PUT A roll-off dumpster at your home, you load or, we remove, ask us about out loading assistance available (775)297-2320
Douglas County Republican Women...
will be meeting on February 1, 2023, at Valley Christian Fellowship Church. Meeting starts at 11:30 am. Our speaker will be Allison Smith who heads Operation Underground Railroad. For reservations please call: Elinor Lacy at 415-985-5432.
February 20th - President’s Day
Scruffy’s Gift
Scruffy was my best friend. More than any one person or anything could ever be. More than I had experienced in a lifetime. He was a true gift of love, and that’s the gift he returned to me in the all-too-brief 15 years we were able to spend together.
I first met Scruff when I went out to move my Wife’s car...and a strange growling issued from somewhere under it as I approached. Looking underneath, there was a mangy, oil covered, spaniel/terrier sized puppy growling for all he was worth. “Huh...toughguy, are ya?” I said as I reached under and pulled him off the gravel. He licked my nose while his tail thumped my chest, and left muddy paw prints on my favorite white T-shirt. Little did I know that was the start of a relationship that was to later become the center of my life. After taking him in the house, giving him a long bath to remove grease, oil, mud and everything a puppy can carry on and in their fur, I took a long look at him. He looked like a scrawny cross between the Dog-famous Benji and a small downsized Sheepdog. Dirty white, with a saddle of tan, floppy, fuzzy black ears tapering to a soft gray.
After he consumed most of my was-to-be-the-weeks lunch of bologna and half a pound of hamburger, he padded over by my chair and promptly fell asleep at my feet. A small battle ensued with the Mrs. the rest of that afternoon, as we lived in a small apartment where animals were NOT allowed. I’ll spare you the details, to tell you he ended up at the dog pound that afternoon. I love dogs, but we just could not afford to get booted out of the apartment, nor could we afford a dog at that time.
A week later, I called the pound to see if he was still there. I had been unable to put him out of my mind for some maddening reason. He was. He would be put to sleep at the end of the day, like a convicted, atrocious criminal, because his crime was being homeless and unwanted. I told them I’d be there in 15 minutes.
When I arrived, I was informed of a “small problem”..he had what appeared to be Parvo virus, pretty much a death sentence then for dogs. They would waive all fees if I just took him. I walked over to the cage where this puppy lay in his own blood and excrement, on a cold concrete floor. I thought “No, I do not want this”..., as I touched his nose with my finger. Thump, thump, thump went the tail.
We arrived at my Veterinarian friend’s office just as he was closing. After numerous injections, tablets of wonder drugs, taking samples of everything, he was given a 10% chance of making it. “Keep him warm, fed, and make his time comfortable” said my friend John.
I did. He slept in a cardboard box on top of my blanket, next to the kitchen stove. He’d eat the hamburger I cooked for him, fed to him in his bed, as he was to weak to get up, drink some water, and sleep.
One month later I had a raging furball rocketing around the apartment, who was snuck in and out to “do his thing” under cover of darkness in a pillowcase. He became what my friend “The Vet” called “Scruffy the Wonder Dog”. I’m sure you now know how he obtained his name.
He was there with me on my worst days...he was by my side when my wife and I divorced five years later. He was there hogging the bed on those blustery winter nights. He was there first thing in the morning, panting in my face with that silly grin that seemed to say “C’mon!!! Get up! He was there in my pickup, sitting up regally and watching our truck until I came back out of the store with our dinner. He loved to go to the park and watch the Giant Canada geese, showing how tough he was by growling and snapping at these big feathered things. He sat stoically at the Vet,
while his tongue hung halfway to the floor, due to the fact that it was stuck into the rubber ball on the other end of it.
He never left my side when I was laid up with a shattered back, enduring my hospital stays by sitting in the front window all day and finally falling asleep there, according to my friends who stayed with him.
He made me laugh when I lost my job due to my injuries, when I thought there was nothing humorous left in the world. He patiently waited for me as I slowly made it down steps so he could take ME for a walk.
I can go on almost endlessly; unfortunately life cannot. There came that horrible day in my life when we both knew it “was time”. I said those words to him. He knew, too. We were chauffeured to my friend “The Vet” one last time.
I stroked that soft, silky ear and kissed that wet black nose one last time as he snoozed off into his reward of no more pain, no more falling down, only blissful, easy slumber until his time of awakening to his best friend at HIS side.
Thank you Scruff, for the most wonderful 15 years of my life. You taught me more about myself through your unbiased, simple love than all the interactions of my life. Your payback for a home, some food, and companionship was far more encompassing than any person would ever be able to understand. Remember that Tshirt with the paw prints? It sits not far from Scruffy’s Urn on my bedroom dresser... (By M. Hrubetz)
ited for a clear view! (775)883-6629
A few facts about the Human Skeleton
Babies have more bones than Adults! Adults will end up with only 206 bones, but babies are born with around 300 bones. It’s not that bones disappear as we grow older. Instead, these tiny bones fuse together to form the larger bones of the skeletal system.
More than half your bones are in your hands and feet! An adult skeletal system is made up of 206 bones in total. Surprisingly, 106 of them are in your hands and feet! 27 in each hand, so 54 in total in two of your hands. 26 in each foot, which make 52 in total in two of your feet!
Only one bone is not connected to another bone! Not all bones in the human skeleton are connected to each other. The one exception is the hyoid bone, which sits at the base of the tongue. The hyoid bone is responsible for holding your tongue in place.
The smallest bone in the body is in your ear! The stapes, a bone in your inner ear, is the smallest of all your bones. Because of its Y shape, this bone is also sometimes called the stirrup. It works together with the anvil and hammer bones, to translate sounds you hear into waves your brain can understand.
Most people have 12 ribs, but some have 13! It’s very rare for people to born with 13th rib. The possibility is only 1%. This extra rib also called as cervical rib, can cause medical issues like neck pain. For that reason, people born with this extra rib often have it removed in most of the cases.
LEAF GAZEBO, 11’X 11’ STILL IN BOX $500 OBO, Bob (775)781-0244
Nothing much catches your eye as you grow older. You only see what’s really valuable.
BLIND AND WINDOW CLEANING SERVICES, residential and commercial, multi story specialist, mobile blind cleaning, pressure washing, awning cleaning, snow removal, Call UnlimUpon arriving home...
a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife.
Tearfully she explained, “It’s the druggist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone. I had to call multiple times before he would even answer the phone.”
Immediately, the husband drove downtown to confront the druggist and demand an apology.
Before he could say more than a word or two, the druggist told him, “Now, just a minute, listen to my side of it. This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast & hurried out to the car, just to realize that I’d locked the house with both house and car keys inside and had to break a window to get my keys.”
“Then, driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Later, when I was about three blocks from the store, I had a flat tire.”
“When I finally got to the store a bunch of people were waiting for me to open up. I got the store opened and started waiting on these people, all the time the darn phone was ringing off the hook.”
He continued, “Then I had to break a roll of nickels against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor. I had to get down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels and the phone was still ringing.
“When I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it. Half of them hit the floor and broke.”
“Meanwhile, the phone is still ringing with no let-up, and I finally got back to answer it. It was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer. And believe me, mister, as God is my witness, all I did was tell her.”
MINOR TO MAJOR AUTOMOTIVE REPAIRS, Tires and More! ASE Certified Master Mechanic, 40+ years same location! Senior Discounts, Bobs Shell Service, Carson City (775)883-7919
$200 OFF ANY COMPLETE ROOFING JOB, NEW roof, re-roof, repairs, 10% off for repairs, $100 maximum, must present ad for discount, over 25 years experience, Licensed, Bonded and Insured, Tom Goldston Roofing, “Where Quality is Remembered Long After the Price is Forgotten” NV Lic#58203 (775)790-2461
Celebrating Presidents Day this year
Do you have any plans for visiting a national park that pays homage to a great American leader of yesteryear?
With so many options to choose from, you may not have to go far to find a park that’s protected in honor of a former Commanderin-Chief. Some sites commemorate the birthplaces of past presidents (e.g. Kennedy and Hoover), while others memorialize the places where they sought solace in the years after their presidency (e.g. Van Buren, Eisenhower, and Johnson). One thing’s for sure: there’s no shortage of places to celebrate, so find a park near you and take some time to learn something fun about these famous heads of state. For example, did you know that Jimmy Carter was a peanut farmer before kicking off his political career? Or that Gerald R. Ford is the only American president to have served as a park ranger?
As a tribute to our fearless leaders, here are some neat facts about Presidents Day and our parks that honor their life and legacy. Did you know that …
Presidents Day is celebrated on the third Monday in February, thanks to the 1968 Uniform Monday Holiday Act
It was established in 1885 in honor of President George Washington’s birthday.
Washington’s birthday was actually on February 22, 1732 (this would be his 282nd birthday!)
Washington’s birthplace is a national monument and is located in Colonial Beach, VA.
It is still officially called Washington’s Birthday by the federal government.
The government debated renaming the holiday to Presidents Day to include President Abraham Lincoln’s birthday, but the proposal failed in committees
Lincoln’s birthday was actually on February 12, 1809 (this would be his 205th birthday!)
Lincoln’s birthplace is a national historical park and is located in Hodgenville, Kentucky.
President Ulysses S. Grant established Yellowstone as the first national park.
President Theodore Roosevelt has the most national parks named in his honor.
Lincoln is a close runner-up for that title.
Roosevelt’s birthplace is a national historic site and is located in New York City, NY.
Adams National Historical Park was the birthplace of two presidents: John Adams and John Quincy Adams.
The most recent presidential birthplace added to the National Park System belonged to William Jefferson Clinton.
There are 35 parks named after American Presidents, and one park that celebrates four of them (but it’s named after a New York attorney) (nationalparks.org)
DO YOU NEED TO REPLACE YOUR WORN out concrete driveway, patio, or walkway? We also install new patios, driveways, monolithic garage slabs, retaining walls, footings, and stemwalls. K&C Construction, NV LIC # 79034, 79237, 81038, 86464. To get a free quote call at (775)691-6462
KNIFE AND CUTLERY SHARPENING, $1 PER cutting inch, Inside Injured Ink Tattoos, 2049 California Suite #2, Carson City, NV (775)781-0649
If you don’t think photos are important, wait until they are all you have left.
PUBLISHER’S NOTICE: All real estate advertising in this paper is subject to the Fair Housing Act which makes it illegal to advertise “any preference, limitations or discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex, handicap, familial status or national origin, or an intention to make any such preference, limitation or discrimination.” This magazine will not knowingly accept any advertisement for real estate which is a violation of the law; our readers are hereby informed that all dwellings advertised in this publication are available on an equal opportunity basis. To complain of discrimination call HUD toll-free.
If humans acted like dogs
Dogs are everything. If humans were dogs, life on Earth would be spectacularly better and here’s what it might look like…
There would be more love. We would give others our undivided attention at all times and show them how much we love them every day.
We could simply decide if we liked someone just by sniffing their rear end. If we don’t like their scent, we walk away. Besides the butt sniffing, what isn’t great about that?
There would be less judgment. Dogs don’t care what you wear or how you look, they love you for all of the hot mess that you sometimes are. If humans were dogs we wouldn’t pay attention to how others look or what type of dog (or cat) they might be.
We would get amused by the simplest of things. Like a ball or a rope or bubbles or leaves. We wouldn’t need to constantly scroll through our timelines to get amused. We would enjoy the little things.
We would love to exercise. Nobody would have to force us to go to the gym, somebody just has to say the word “walk” and we’re out the door.
We’d always get enough sleep. In the life of a dog you can play for 2 minutes and then sleep for an hour and repeat that throughout your entire life!
We would cuddle all the time. And if somebody tries to interrupt our cuddles, we would get very upset and we may possibly throw a temper tantrum.
If we did something wrong, we would be sincerely sorry. We wouldn’t just say sorry to make things temporarily better, we would actually mean it forever.
As you can clearly see from the examples, dogs are everything.
The drama between dogs is minimal whereas the drama between humans can be immaculate. Dogs will always love you for who you truly are no matter what. So if humans were dogs, or at least acted like dogs, the world would be a safer, happier place. (by C. Scholten)
WANTED! OLD BOAT TRAILER WITH TITLE, GARDNERVILLE (831)345-6725
DELTA 13 AMP 10 INCH CONTRACTOR TABLE Saw, Rolling stand $350; Wen sliding Compound Chop Saw on Port Mate folding rolling table $300 Bob/Gardnerville (530)9066732
AFFORDABLE NEVADA CCW CLASSES $50, tac-aimfirearmsinstruction.com or (775)360-5214
Irresistible irony
“About a year had passed since my amicable divorce, and I decided it was time to start dating again. Unsure how to begin, I thought I’d scan the personals column of my local newspaper. I came across three men who seemed like they’d be promising candidates. A couple of days later, I was checking my answering machine and discovered a message from my ex-husband. ‘I was over visiting the kids yesterday,’ he said. ‘While I was there I happened to notice you had circled some ads in the paper. Don’t bother calling the guy in the second column. I can tell you right now it won’t work out. That guy is me.’
SWIMMING POOL SERVICE, WEEKLY or Bi-Monthly, Mountain Pool & Spa Licensed and Insured Tahoepoolboy@ gmail.com or (530)318-1698
Growing wild
There is this guy who really takes care of his body; he lifts weights and jogs five miles every day.
One morning, he looks into the mirror and admires his body. He notices that he is really sun tanned all over except one part and he decides to do something about it.
He goes to the beach, completely undresses and buries himself in the sand except for the one part sticking out.
Two little old ladies are strolling along the beach and one looks down and says, “There really is no justice in this world.” The other little old lady says, “What do you mean?”
The first little old lady says, “Look at that.” “When I was 10 years old, I was afraid of it.” “When I was 20 years old, I was curious about it.” “When I was 30 years old, I enjoyed it.” “When I was 40 years old, I asked for it.” “When I was 50 years old, I paid for it.” “When I was 60 years old, I prayed for it.” “When I was 70 years old, I forgot about it.” “And now that I’m 80, the damned things are growing wild!!”
HOT TUB SERVICE, WEEKLY AND BI WEEKLY service, reasonable rates, private homes and vacation rentals, hot tub cover sales, call Tahoe Sierra Hot Tubs (775)267-2490
FOR SALE 2008 HARLEY FAT BOY, 2014 HARLEY Switch Back, both must go, many extras (77)835-3875
Below zero
My husband and I purchased an old home in Northern New York State from two elderly sisters. Winter was fast approaching and I was concerned about the house’s lack of insulation.
“If they could live here all those years, so can we!” my husband confidently declared.
One December night the temperature plunged to below zero, and we woke up to find interior walls covered with frost.
My husband called the sisters to ask how they had kept the house warm.
After a rather brief conversation, he hung up. “For the past 30 years,” he muttered, “they’ve gone to Florida for the winter.”
Short Jokes
A man walks into a library and asks the librarian for books about paranoia. She whispers, “They’re right behind you!” Want to hear a roof joke? The first one’s on the house. What should you do if you’re attacked by a group of clowns? Go straight for the juggler. A cement mixer and a prison bus crashed on the highway. Police advise citizens to look out for a group of hardened criminals. I saw a movie about how ships are put together. It was riveting. A man walks into a library and orders a hamburger. The librarian says, “This is a library.” The man apologizes and whispers, “I’d like a hamburger, please.”
A group of crows was arrested for hanging out together. The charge? Attempted murder. Which rock group has four guys who can’t sing or play instruments? Mount Rushmore. Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he always has a great fall. Where do hamburgers take their sweethearts on Valentine’s Day to dance? The Meat Ball! What time does a duck wake up? The quack of down. Some people eat snails. They must not like fast food. Have you heard the one about the skunk? Never mind, it really stinks. It’s always windy in a sports arena. All those fans. How do mountains stay warm in the winter? Snowcaps. What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down? It gets toad away. What do you call a pile of kittens? A meowntain. What is worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing taxis! What did the nose say to the finger? Quit picking on me!
TUTOR WANTED! SOMEONE WITH KNOWLEDGE OF stock trading platforsm such as think or swim, trade station, etc. Need help setting up my computer for swing trading in Gardnerville, Bob (831)345-6725
Custodian Job Opening
Douglas County School District is currently accepting applications for Custodian at George Whittell High (40 hours per week) Starting Salary: $17.51/hr. or up to 5 years of experience; Full benefits; medical, dental, vision & life insurance. Paid sick leave, vacation & holidays. NV PERS retirement.
For more information, please contact Bill Blumenthal, Facilities Supervisor at wblument@dcsd.k12.nv. us or visit our website at dcsd.k12.nv.us/employment to complete an application.
MOBILE HOME FOR SALE: 2 BEDROOM/2 BATH 1440 sq. ft. mobile home on Lake Topaz. All upgraded and a 800 sq. ft. deck overlooking Lake Topaz (281)250-2715
“ALWAYS ON DUTY” STURDY HANDRAILS, flat or stepped areas, all metal, free standing, custom built to fit your needs, installation available, maintain independence & a healthy well being! (775)790-6445
SPECIALIZING IN GARAGES, ADDITIONS, REMODELS, decks, patio covers, free estimates, NV#0080432, Redline Construction Inc. (775)781-3955
So mad!
A wife got so mad at her husband she packed his bags and told him to get out. As he walked to the door she yelled, “I hope you die a long, slow, painful death.”
He turned around and said, “So, you want me to stay?”
Luxurious Hotel
A lady decided to give herself a big treat for her 50th birthday by staying overnight in a really nice, luxurious hotel.
The following morning, she was appalled when the desk clerk gave her a bill for $250. She requested to know why the charge was too high.
“It’s a nice hotel, but the rooms certainly aren’t worth $250 for just an overnight stay! I didn’t even have breakfast,” she told the clerk.
The clerk clarified that $250 is the standard rate. At that point, the older lady insisted on talking with the manager.
The manager showed up and explained that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center which are available for use.
“But I didn’t use them,” the old woman said.
“Well, they are here, and you could have,” he replied.
The manager proceeded with that she could likewise have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which the hotel is famous.
“We have the best entertainers from the world over performing here,” he said.
“But I didn’t go to any of those shows,” she said.
The manager replied, “Well, we have them, and you could have.”
Regardless of what facility he recommended, the older lady would just answer, “But I didn’t use it!”
The manager then countered with his standard reaction. After several minutes of contending with him, she chose to pay.
The manager was shocked when she gave the check to him.
“But madam, this check is for only $50,” he said.
“That is right. I charged you $200 for staying in my room with
me,” the old lady replied.
“But I didn’t!” the manager shouted.
“Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have.”
JAMES THE TECH GUY, IN-HOME services at a fair price, setup TV’s, computers, internet, security cameras, computer lessons (775)515-2316
ITEMS FOR SALE: PANASONIC 6 PHONE SYSTEM - $20; Racquetball racket, used twice - $15; Sharp 15” TV - $75; Bose Accoustamass speaker system - $150; Visio speaker system$50; Toshiba DVD player - $50; Locksmith Safe, one hour fire protected, 15”x17” - $75; Old wood drill, antique - $10; Large electric/propane outdoor fogger for mosquito’s - $100 (281)250-2715
G & J LANDSCAPING MAINTENANCE, TRIM, prune, fertilize, aerate, sprinklers, General clean-up, Free Estimates, Victor (775)291-1672
NEW JEEP WRANGLER SOFT TOP, 2 ENGINE Stands, 283 Chevy Motor, 2 Ton Aluminum Floor Jack, 2 Metal Wood Racks, Cherry Picker (775)309-5325
PAINTING BY ART - STAINING AND PAINTING done at affordable rates, personal service with 20 years experience, call for free estimate, Gardnerville (775)392-3997
You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
ALLERGIES AND DUST A PROBLEM? WHOLE house air duct cleaning special $599, all vents, returns, heater and ac cleaned and sanitized, dryer vent cleaning $129, call Peake Air, NV#260831 (775)392-0994
Act 2
A well stocked Consignment Store in Yerington, Affordable Prices, Furniture * Household Items * Gently used Clothing. 607 S. Main Street. Call: Pat Riley 408-804-4010, Toni Harrison 775781-6487
COMPLETE LANDSCAPING, RESIDENTIAL and commercial, weekly maintenance, tree trimming, emergency repairs, sprinklers/drip, pavers, patios, retaining walls, Davenport Landscape and Design, NV Lic.#0074827, davenportlandscape.com or (775)265-1491 or (775)721-8439
Come join us at Johnson Lane Baptist Church
Bible Believing, Gospel Preaching, Christ Loving Church, Sunday, 9:45am Sunday School, 11am Sunday Service, 4pm Evening Service, 1581 Johnson Lane, Minden (775)267-9590
CASH PAID FOR OLD COSTUME JEWELRY: Rhinestones, Mexican and Indian Tourist Jewelry, Rings, Bracelets, Necklaces, Pins, Men’s Jewelry, Old Plastics, Silver, Copper, Glass Beads, Men’s and Women’s Old Wind Up Watches, Charm Bracelets, Lockets etc. Larger quantities preferred. I drive to you. Call or text Joanne at (775)430-2352
WOOD STOVE PELLETS, WE SELL Pellets, cleanest burning, highest heat output, out performs all others, North Idaho Energy logs by the pallet or singles, bensonfeed.com, ½ cord almond firewood, Benson Feed, Carson City (775)882-3999
WANTED! FIRST GENERATION DODGE CUMMINS diesel project 1989-1993, looking for a project to build with son, preferably 4x4 but will look at 2wd, nothing perfect, running or not (775)233-1585
TRUCKING, DUMP TRUCK, BOBCAT/LOADER, Excavation and Water Truck Services, call Wade Draper - EMS Transport at (775)690-1671
CASH PAID FOR VINTAGE COSTUME JEWELRY. All Types Including: Bracelets, Necklaces, Pins, Rings, Silver, Copper, Pot Metal, Rhinestones, Lockets, Charm Bracelets, Men’s Jewelry, Old Watches, Military Jewelry, Old Mexican and Indian Tourist Jewelry. Larger Quantities Preferred. Please leave phone number and clear message on my phone. I return all calls. Call or text Joanne at (775)430-2352
Take as directed
A pharmacist is going over the directions on a prescription bottle with an elderly patient.
“Be sure not to take this more often than every 4 hours,” the pharmacist says. “Don’t worry,” replies the patient. “It takes me 4 hours to get the lid off.”
SEMI RETIRED PAINTER, INTERIOR, EXTERIOR and cabinets, no two story houses, based in Minden area, call John (831)801-0003
GAZELLE - EXERCISE EQUIPMENT $50, DELIVERY not available (702)280-5795
MUST SELL SEVERAL LADDERS, PAINT SPRAYER, full size pick up tool box, camping gear, lots of power and hand tools, lots of misc. items (775)901-2440
When someone says, “You’ve Changed”, it simply means you’ve stopped living your life their way.
What a morning...
8:00 I made a snowman. 8:10 A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn’t make a snowwoman. 8:15 I made a snowwoman. 8:17 The nanny of the neighbors complained about the snowwoman’s voluptuous chest. 8:20 The gay couple living nearby grumbled that it could have been two snowmen instead. 8:25 The vegans at No. 12 complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with. 8:28 I am being called a racist because the snow couple is white. 8:31 The Muslim gent across the road wants the snowwoman to wear a headscarf.
8:40 Someone calls the cops who show up to see what’s going on. 8:42 I am told the broomstick of the snowman needs to be removed because it could be used as a deadly weapon. Things get worse after I muttered a few slang words. 8:52 My phone is seized and thoroughly checked while I am blindfolded and flown to the police station in a helicopter. 9:00 I’m on the news as a suspected terrorist bent on stirring up trouble at this sensitive time. 9:10 I am asked if I have any accomplices. 9:29 ISIS just claimed responsibility...
WANTED: LICENSE PLATES, OLD MOTORCYCLE Helmets, Old Pre-1970’s Levi’s, Musical instruments, Old Watches and Old Lighters, John (775)315-4930
HANDYMAN SERVICES RENOVENTURES, LLC, Serving Carson Valley and beyond - No job too small, Emergency and Weekend work, Licensed & Insured (410)365-8268
An astronaut...
is the first to step onto an alien planet. The aliens are so excited that they change all their signs to English, and even rename some of their places and landmarks after Human places and landmarks and things.
The astronaut decides the first place he wants to go is a pub.
He sees a nearby alien and asks, “Where’s the pub?”
The alien gurgles back, but his suit translates to the astronaut in real time. The alien says, “Just around the corner.”
The astronaut heads around the corner and sees it.
It’s labeled “The Keyboard” and he asks the bouncer, “Why is it called the Keyboard?”
The bouncer replies, “The boss loves all things human and changed his name to reflect that. Ask him, he’s the bartender.”
So the astronaut enters the Keyboard and goes to the bartender.
“Excuse me, do you own this pub?” the astronaut says.
“I do,” the bartender gurgles back.
“Why is it called the Keyboard?” the man asks.
“Well,” the alien gurgles in reply, “since I knew you humans were coming I updated the name...”
The astronaut is on the edge of his seat.
“...The reason it’s called the Keyboard is because it’s a space bar.”
COLLECTOR’S ITEMS: 1988-2020 HOLIDAY BARBIE Collection, Guardian Serviceware, Children’s Antique Rocking Chairs, Kirby Vacuum, Sheffield Dinnerware “Elegance”, Lenox Brookdale China, Fisher Price toys, Steeler Memorabilia, Old games (Chinese Checkers, Movie Mania, Trivial Pursuit etc.), and “Grow-Up” girls porcelain figurines (702)2805795
Do Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star and the Alphabet Song have the same tune?
Cooking breakfast
I went to a church men’s campout a few years back. Everyone was sitting around the fire cooking breakfast.
Joe, an old-time rancher, starts cooking some homemade sausage. A few minutes go by, then someone asks, “Hey Joe, what kind of sausage is that? It smells good.” “To which Joe replies, “Chocolate sausage.”This gets everyone’s attention.
When the sausage finished cooking, Joe offers a piece to anyone who wanted to try it. A few of the guys take a cut and eat it, then get confused looks on their faces.The same guy asks Joe again, “This doesn’t taste any different than normal sausage. Chocolate?..”Still waking up, Joe clears his throat and says, “The horse was named Chocolate.”
IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SELL OR SOMETHING to say, put it in the Scoop today. 775-782-4520 or sierrascoop. com
KENNY AND COLLEEN’S STUMP GRINDING services, K&C stump grinding services, Call (917)362-3181 or (410)7394052
PIONEER GLASS PLUS, RESIDENTIAL, COMMERCIAL, emergency services, fair prices, dependable quick service, quality work, 45 years experience, Frank Boudreau, owner NV#7876 (775)720-2373
WANTED!! OLD PARK BENCHES, ANY SHAPE or style, Carson City (408)270-4028
Things we did in childhood, and that some of us are still doing
The gratifying feeling you got when pushing down hard on the buttons of an old landline phone. Wrapping your finger (or yourself) around the telephone cord while you had a conversation. Whenever you got a PERFECT newspaper comic imprint on your Silly Putty. We would make a ring with our fingers and put it under a stream of water so it wouldn’t touch our hands. We tried to stick our fingers into our cat’s mouth when it yawned. When we walked along the fence, we would touch it with our hands or a stick. Finding change in the slot of a payphone.
When we were crossing streets, we would try to only step on the white stripes of the crosswalk. Successfully winding up the reel of a broken cassette tape with a pencil. We would speak into the fan. Opening your school milk carton correctly on the first try. We would bite on our zipper. Getting your school’s old three-hole punch to not only line up perfectly straight but also have it punch through all your papers on the first try. We would not step on a crack on the sidewalk. And finally, the feeling of peeling off dried paste from the palm of your hand.
PLASTIC STORAGE BOXES WITH LIDS $8 each; glass top metal coffee table and 2 end tables, make offer; 5 drawer file cabinet, make offer; husky tie downs 2” wide by 26’ long $10 each; ACE Hardware Style Popcorn Machine with popcorn $550 (408)270-4028
1984 FORESTRY CREW BUS INTERNATIONAL 6.9 Diesel 90,000 miles runs great 11x22.5 front tires 10x22.5 rears $8,000 (775)901-0717
HARLEY DAVIDSON ENGINE REBUILDING, 30+ years experience, quick turn-around! Free pick–up and delivery, parts in one day! californiafritz.com or (530)694-2521
PLUMBING, LEAKY PIPES, SERVICE AND REPAIR, remodels, new construction, residential and commercial, since 1997, bonded and insured, guaranteed, NV#47214, CA#513872, Call Robert (775)690-1441
BEVELED GLASS - TWO PANELS: 22” W X 48”H $100 for both (702)280-5795
SEMI-RETIRED FINISH CARPENTER Door install/repairs, security screens, deadbolts, shelving, moldings, barn/ wood plank-shiplap-beadboard wall covering and cabinet installation. Call Mark (775)782-6198 or (775)790-5927
JUNIPER, TREE & STUMP REMOVAL, Defensible Space, Fire Breaks, Excavating, Sprinkler Repair, Earth, Turf & Timber Landscape Maintenance (775)450-1955
Happy February Birthdays! Here’s a wish for happiness and many dreams come true, not only on your special day, but always all life through. Happy Birthday!
PART TIME EMPLOYMENT, NON-PROFIT AGENCY; flexible hours working with seniors. Positions available in Topaz, Coleville, Walker and Bridgeport, California. Call for more information (530)495-2700
IF YOUR LOVED ONE HAS BEEN PLACED ON HOSPICE care, I will come to the home in Minden or Gardnerville to provide a gentle, comfort-touch massage, 28 years experience, Certified and state licensed #439, Debbie (775)233-1995
Never too old to be young again
An early morning winter storm had dumped several inches of snow here in the mountains of my home. Schools were cancelled, roads were treacherous, and all I wanted to do was stay in bed. Still, I knew I had to get the day started so I bundled up and walked outside. The snow was over my shoes. The cold wind was chapping my lips. My 47 year old back ached in anticipation of the shoveling I would have to do if the snow didn’t stop soon.
Yet, when I looked out on the crystal blanket that covered the ground I couldn’t help but smile a bit. It was so beautiful. It softened the bare trees and hid the dead grass. In the distance I could hear the sound of the snow plow on the road, the barking of a happy dog, and the laughter of children playing outside, enjoying their day off from school.
The sweet music of that laughter brought back a hundred memories of Winters past. I remembered catching snowflakes on my tongue, building snowmen, making snow angels, sledding down hills, and always losing the snowball fights with first my brothers and then my own children. Standing there in that warm coat of remembering made the wind a little less cold and my back a little less sore. I turned up my head, stuck out my tongue, and for the first time in years caught a snowflake on it. It tasted so fresh and clean. It tasted like youth, like joy, and like love. I looked up to the Heavens and thanked God for all of my memories and for the
simple truth that you are never too old to be young again. May you always feel young in spirit no matter how old or achy your body may be. May you always delight in the simple joys of life. May you always share your happiness with the heart of a child. And may you always give your love, your light, your laughter, and your warmth to others even on the coldest of days.
“A MOVING EXPERIENCE” - MOVE ASSISTANCE, 25+ years experience, Senior Discounts! KenJeter, kenjeter65@ gmail.com or (775)530-8932
COMPUTER PROBLEMS? DO YOU NEED help connecting your gadgets? On-site computer repair and network configurations, Honest and Affordable, justin.nelson@goowy.com (775)450-3735
What are conversation hearts candy?
Conversation hearts, also sometimes called sweethearts, are small heart-shaped candies that are popular around Valentine’s Day. Each candy piece bears a short printed blurb that can be anywhere from corny to endearing.
Their modern form was perfected by NECCO in 1866 from dough comprised of a mixture of sugar, corn syrup, gelatin, gums, coloring, and flavoring. Once the dough is formed and flavored, it goes through a series of machines to be flattened, cut, and stamped into the recognizable little sweets.
Selfishness is weakness. But loving and caring for others is a position of power beyond anything we can possibly imagine.
Take these pills
An old lady goes to the doctor, super irritated. She unloads on the doctor, “Doctor, my friends are all being awful people! They’re all telling me I fart all the time, and it’s just plain rude of them! “Oh really?” The doctor says.
“YEAH! They’re ALL silent so I have no idea why they’d point them out. On top of all that, for them to tell me my gas is enough to gag a maggot. How could your friends say that!!” “I see,” the doctor says.
“YEAH!! I’ve even felt a few fly out in the office and you’ve not had a SINGLE problem in this visit.”
“Here, take these pills, they should help you out.” The doctor says.
It’s been a few days now, and the doctor’s pensively reviewing some charts, when all of a sudden the old lady busts into practice, shouting at the receptionist for the doctor to see her RIGHT AWAY. She says, “Doctor, what the heck have you done with these pills?! I’m farting ALL THE TIME now and it smells like a landfill!”
After a deep breath, the doctor says, “Now that your nose is fixed, let’s work on your gas and ears.”
CHÉ WHITE BOOKKEEPING & PAYROLL Services, Specializing in Small Business, Corporation, Not-for-Profit, and Personal Finance. Located in Carson Valley, 25+ years experience. CheWhiteBooks@gmail.com or (844)343-0343
BRASS FOR SALE 9MM, 38 SPECIAL, 40 CAL. 45 ACP, 223/556, 300 savage, cleaned and deprimed, Bill (775)220-0492
Language of Love
A wise old man saw his grandson having a heated discussion with his wife. He asked his grandson, “Why do you raise your voice when you are arguing with your wife?” Grandson: I lose patience when she doesn’t understand my point of view and that is why I raise my voice.
Grandfather: But, your wife is close enough for her to hear you even when you say the same sentence in a calm manner. Why do you have to raise your voice?
Grandson: I raise my voice so that my voice is heard and I can also let out the steam by raising my voice.
Grandfather: That is not the exact reason for you to raise your voice. The real reason is that when you are angry with your wife, your heart moves away from her heart. So even though you are physically close to each other, you feel that you are far away from one another and hence raise your voice.
Grandson: If that is the reason for raising the voice, what do we do when we are in love?
Grandfather: When two people are in love, their hearts are close to each other. Even if you whisper softly, you both can hear very clearly. At such times one can communicate with their loved ones even through the language of silence.
NEW WHITE KITCHEN AND ARTISAN MIXER 100; Tilt head, dough hook, wire whisk, stainless steel 5qt. bowl, Carson City (775)671-1993
Writing the Editor - We welcome all articles, letters, jokes and comments on Sierra Scoop, local issues, community news and free private party ads, published as space provides. These articles, letters, comments do not necessarily reflect our opinion. All public input is welcome. sierrascoop@charter.net, (775)782-4520
Life never gets old
Your kids are becoming you…but your grandchildren are perfect. Going out is good… Coming home is better! You forget names… But it’s OK because other people forgot they even knew you! You realize you’re never going to be really good at anything…especially golf. The things you used to care to do, you no longer care to do, but you really do care that you don’t care to do them anymore. You sleep better on a lounge chair with the TV blaring than in bed. It’s called “pre-sleep”.
You miss the days when everything worked with just an “ON” and “OFF” switch. You tend to use more 4 letter words … “what?”…”when?”… ?? Now that you can afford expensive jewelry, it’s not safe to wear it anywhere. You notice everything they sell in stores is “sleeveless”? What used to be freckles are now liver spots. Everybody whispers. You have 3 sizes of clothes in your closet…. 2 of which you will never wear. But “old” is good in some things: Old Songs, Old movies, and best of all, OLD FRIENDS!!
RUSSELL’S TREE SERVICE, #1 ARTISTRY IN TREE Care; Shaping, Balancing, Removals, Stump Grinding, Fruit Trees, Hedges, Ornamental Pruning, Serving your area, Licensed/Insured (775)685-0528
JEEP 2016 P WRANGLER SAHARA PARTS - FRONT and rear bumper, side steps with hardware $100 each or $250 takes all (702)280-5795
Dog and Cat Volunteers Wanted!
Are you looking for an opportunity to help homeless pets in your community? The Douglas County Animal shelter is always looking for new volunteers to help provide love, care and socialization to the 500+ animals that come through our doors each year.
Dog walking volunteers work one on one with the adoptable dogs, taking them outside for exercise, and giving them the love that they need. The shelter can be a noisy and stressful place for animals, and we believe that the interaction with our volunteers is their best therapy. The dog walking program gives the essential quality time with people who care about them.
Cat volunteers perform a similar task, by holding, petting and brushing the adoptable cats, allowing them to relax in the shelter environment, and enabling the cat to become more friendly and calm when approached by a potential adopter.
If you are 16 years of age or older, you may volunteer to work hands on with the animals at the shelter. If you are younger than 16 years of age, you may accompany your parent or legal guardian, but you may not work hands on with the animals. For more information call the shelter at (775)782-9061
HELP! I AM IN SEARCH OF SPECIALS FROM 1950-60’s American and/or European powered cars. Maybe steel, aluminum, fiberglass or combination. Cars created by enthusiast for pleasure or racing, contact (775)291-6827
COW HAY READY FOR PICK-UP in Coleville, CA 3 strand, 1500 bales, best offer takes all, you pick up. We sold our cattle. Call (775)720-7667
PET CARE SERVICE! JODY WADDING, OWNER since 1991, references available, boarding offered or visit your home; horses, dogs, cats, reptiles, birds, fish… JWPetCare@ aol.com (775)782-1212 or (775)781-1065
HANDYMAN PROS - RAPID RESPONSE, Professionally Designed Blue Prints, All Phases of Construction, New, Repair, Roofs, Bath, Kitchen, Painting, Custom, Carpentry, Landscaping, Electrical, Concrete, Plumbing, Tile, Granite & more (775)400-6822
CASH PAID FOR OLD COSTUME JEWELRY: All types including Silver, Copper, Rhinestones, Old Plastics, Glass, Pot Metal, Pins, Bracelets, Rings, Necklaces, Old Watches, Lockets, larger quantities preferred, please leave phone number and clear message on my NEW phone number, I call everyone back, Call or text Joanne at (775)430-2352
WANTED, LARGE GALVANIZED WATER TROUGH, will remove and pay cash (775)782-3070
The publisher does not assume any responsibility for the contents of any advertising herein, and all representation or warranties made in such advertising are those of the advertisers and not the publishers.
My head says, “Who cares?” but then my heart whispers, “You do silly...”
Foods to boost your brain health
Half of the brain is made up of lipids, and about 50% of the fatty acids in the brain are polyunsaturated fatty acids. This is why omega 3 fatty acids, which we obtain mostly from fatty fish, are among the most important supplements that we need to incorporate into our diets to renew our brain membranes and protect it from the effect of aging and even improve the cognitive functions in people with Alzheimer’s disease.
Avocados, nuts and seeds contain good unsaturated fats. Some unsalted nuts, such as peanuts, cashews, pecans, and almonds, also contain good or healthy fats. Vegetable oils like canola, olive, sesame and sunflower oil also have ‘good fats’ in them.
When it comes to saturated fats, one of the clear winners is coconut oil. Coconut oil is one of the best oils for high-heat cooking and research suggests it may help increase HDL cholesterol.
Salmon, cod, tuna, sardines, anchovies, mackerel, herring, rainbow trout are all great choices of fatty fish which contain healthy amounts of omega 3 fatty acids, unsaturated fats, vitamin B12, and vitamin D, which have good impact on memory and learning, as it helps your brain make new nerve cells and synapses between nerve endings. Fatty fish also leads to a great improvement of mood and makes your immunity stronger. Researchers recommend consuming fatty fish at least twice per week.
ACME BOAT & RV STORAGE – RESIDENT MANAGER, fenced, lighted, lowest rates around, Gardnerville (775)2654766
PERFECTO GARDENING SERVICES, SERVING Carson Valley over 20 Years! Tree and Bush trimming, lawn care, competitive rates and all work guaranteed (775)265-7081
Only one dollar left
A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, “I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram.”
She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word “comfortable”.
Skeptical, the operator asks, “How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?”
The redhead replies, “She’s a blonde so she reads slow: ‘Come for ta bull’.”
HANDYMAN SERVICES, WOOD DECK repair, replace, resurface and remove, trash removal, Honey-Do’s, etc. Serving Carson Valley (775)315-2235
HYDRAULIC CYLINDER REPAIR AND REBUILD, All makes models and year, Commercial Equipment, Tractors, Fork Lifts, Log splitters, Farm equipment, Dump Trucks and Trailers, Boats and RVs, Welding and Machining, Ramco Fabrication, shawn@ramcofab.com or (775)267-7358
MIGUEL’S GARDEN SERVICE, FULL LAWN MAINTENANCE, clean up, fertilizing, dead shrubs and trees pulled out, excellent references, great rates, serving Carson Valley 27+ years! (775)265-0501
I Am Your Master
I can make you rise or fall. I can work for you or against you. I can make you a success or failure. I control the way you feel and the way you act. I can make you laugh…work…love. I can make your heart sing with joy…excitement…elation… Or I can make you wretched…dejected…morbid… I can make you sick…listless… I can be as a shackle…heavy…attached…burdensome… Or I can be as the prism’s hue…dancing…bright…fleeting…lost forever unless captured by pen and purpose.
I can be nurtured and grown to be great and beautiful…seen by the eyes of others through action in you. I can never be removed… only replaced. I am a thought.
1996 INTERNATIONAL DT466 DUMP TRUCK, 20,000 original miles, fully loaded, air brakes, reduced to 22,500 OBO (775)720-1627
Carson Valley, Nevada Eagles & Ag 2023
January 26th through January 29th. All Tour Prices Vary, seats are limited. Carson Valley Chamber of Commerce, info@carsonvalleynv.org or 775-782-8144
PIANO, GUITAR, COMPOSITION LESSONS. ALL LEVELS and ages. Experienced teachers with music degrees. Jim and Janet, Sunridge/Carson City (415)678-0504
CRAFTSMAN TABLE SAW - $200 FIRM (702)280-5795
February 22nd - Ash Wednesday
Imagine
“Imagine there is a bank account that credits your account each morning with $86,400. It carries over no balance from day to day. Every evening the bank deletes whatever part of the balance you failed to used during the day. What would you do? Draw out every cent, of course? Each of us has such a bank, its name is time. Every morning, it credits you 86,400 seconds. Every night it writes off at a lost, whatever of this you failed to invest to a good purpose. It carries over no balance. It allows no over draft. Each day it opens a new account for you. Each night it burns the remains of the day. If you fail to use the day’s deposits, the loss is yours. There is no drawing against ‘tomorrow.’ You must live in the present on today’s deposits. Invest it so as to get from it the utmost in health, happiness, and health. The clock is running. Make the most of today.”
1981 MUSTANG, 6 CYLINDER, NOT running, 1999 Ford F250 Super Duty 2WD, AT, smokes, Al (775)434-7452
COW HAY READY FOR PICK-UP in Coleville, CA 3 strand, 1500 bales, best offer takes all, you pick up. We sold our cattle. Call (775)720-7667
CHOCOLATE 3 YEAR OLD PUREBRED MALE LAB. Jake wants to be your best friend. Housebroken, Recall great, Leash trained, Crate trained, Favorite things is riding in a pickup, Loves to fetch, great as a walking, hiking or jogging buddy. He is big and powerful. If you’re looking for a great companion dog that will give you lots of love Jake is the dog 775-294-2286
