“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
EZE-TOW TOW DOLLY DISC SURGE BRAKESHWD, electric lights-spare tire $1,200 (775)315-4391
TRUCK TIRES SIZE 35X12.50R 20LT, Wild Trail CTX, less than 8k miles on set of four $325 for the set (775)846-8871
COSTUME JEWELRY: ALL TYPES INCLUDING vintage rhinestones, lockets, charm bracelets, rings, necklaces, tourist Indian jewelry, wind up watches, men’s jewelry, old pocket knives, old lighters, military jewelry, vintage jewelry type items, fountain pens, old service pins, badges. Interesting bits and pieces. larger quantities preferred. I return all calls. I drive to you. Call or text Joanne at (775)430-2352
STEYR AUG .223 $2,500; WINCHESTER 1894 RIFLE
38-55 $1,700; Kimber Solo 9mm $700; S&W M&P 9 $499; Vintage Colt SAA collection. 120+ guns in stock. Sunrise Pass Arms. Buy Sell Trade, Barrels threaded, custom guns, Gunsmith (775)267-2284
YARD ENHANCEMENT SERVICES, handyman, fence repair/rebuild, tree and brush trim/removal, defensible space improvement, hauling, dump runs, Serving Gardnerville, Kelly (209)352-0084
REMINGTON 20 GAUGE, MODEL 1100 AUTO shotgun. Excellent condition. Price $600 Ask for Dan (415)806-8757
CAREGIVING COMPANION AVAILABLE NOW for Gardnerville and surrounding areas, 14 years hands on experience, call Cheryl (530)307-9401
DID YOU KNOW? As of 2025, there were approximately 5.66 billion active social media identities globally, and 410,000 users joining daily.
Company slogans
A class instructor was giving a lecture on company slogans and was asking his students if they were familiar with them.
“Joe,” he asked, “which company has the slogan, ‘come fly the friendly skies’?”
Joe answered the correct airline.
“Brenda, can you tell me which company has the slogan, “Don’t leave home without it?”
Brenda answered the correct credit card company with no difficulty.
“Now John, Tell me which company bears the slogan, ‘Just do it’?”
And John answered, “Mom....”
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
Why a Dumb Phone for kids is a smart choice
A dumb phone is a perfect solution to limit the screen time your child spends on a phone. Unlike smartphones, they don’t offer options for endless scrolling, social media platforms, and gaming apps. In addition, most feature phones don’t come with internet connectivity, eliminating the possibility of browsing and online gaming.
Dumb phones are far less expensive and can provide the basic needs of calling and texting without the burden of camera and app features.
A dumb phone limits the potential for distractions and promotes conversations in-person, helping children develop better social skills.
Lastly, a dumb phone can offer significant advantages in the case of an emergency. It may seem old-school, but a basic flip phone can come in handy during natural disasters or when traveling to areas with limited or no service.
$200 OFF ANY COMPLETE ROOFING JOB, NEW roof, re-roof, repairs, 10% off for repairs, $100 maximum, must present ad for discount, over 25 years experience, Licensed, Bonded and Insured, Tom Goldston Roofing, “Where Quality is Remembered Long After the Price is Forgotten” NV Lic#58203 (775)790-2461
Sierra Scoop is RELOCATING!
For the past 23 years, I have had the pleasure of conducting business and living at the residence on the corner of 8th Street and Hwy 395 in Minden (across from CVI). 2026 seems to be the right time to find a quieter location to live and work. Up until about 5 years ago, the highway was quieter with less traffic, fewer sirens, fewer Jake brakes, and fewer people roaming the streets and alleys day and night. I am sure you get the picture. “Quiet sounds so good.”
During this transition you can submit your ads and/or inquiries via email - sierrascoop@charter.net or call 775782-4520 or mail to PO Box 869, Minden, NV 89423 or visit www.sierrascoop.com
I am considering a few small office locations in Douglas County for walk-in Scoop business. I expect to make a decision soon and will keep you informed once it’s finalized. Please call 775-782-4520 for a recorded update or email sierrascoop@charter.net with any questions or to request updates.
I very much appreciate your patience during this time and look forward to you joining me in this new chapter. Thank you so much! Lisa Coffron / Publisher.
WILL TEAR DOWN AND BUY OLD WOODEN Barns and Barn Wood! Insured and bonded (775)782-9192
JMA CONSTRUCTION COMPANY SPECIALIZING in concrete replacement and roofing replacement. Serving Carson City and surrounding areas since 1993. License #’s C-5 0079313 C-15 0079310, jmaconstructioncompany@gmail.com or (775)882-6347
JD 6140D TRACTOR WITH 800 HOURS, MFWD. McFarland 30 foot harrow. (775)233-3580
A bad wish
Two happily married 60 year olds were on vacation when they came across a magic lamp. They rubbed it three times and a Jeanie came out. The Jeanie was willing to grant each person a single wish.
The wife wished to travel around the world. Then “poof” a bunch of airline tickets showed up in her hands.
The man thought about what he wanted to wish for. He said to the Jeanie, “I wish my wife was thirty years younger than me.” Then “poof” he turned into a 90 year old man. What’s the moral of the story? Be careful what you wish for.
SET OF FOUR SNOW TIRES ON SUBARU RIMS 225-60-R16, less than 3,000 miles asking $400; 12’ step ladder asking $150, call Jim (775)720-4634
DID YOU KNOW? TikTok, launched in 2016, became the fastest-growing social media app, reaching 1 billion users in just four years.
If men ran the world... Telephones would cut off after 30 seconds of conversation. Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack on the butt and a nice hustle, you’ll get em next time would pretty much do it. Birth control would come in beer or whiskey. Valentine’s Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years. St. Patrick’s Day would be celebrated every month. Garbage would take itself out. The only show opposite Monday Night Football would be Monday Night Football from a Different Camera Angle. Instead of ‘beer-belly, you’d get beer-biceps.
When a cop gave you a ticket, every smart-aleck answer you responded with would actually reduce your fine. As in: Cop: You know how fast you were going? You: All I know is, I was spilling my beer all over the place. Cop: Nice one, That’s $10.00 off’. It would be perfectly legal to steal a sports car, as long as you returned it the following day with a full tank of gas. Instead of a fancy, expensive engagement ring, you could present your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said You’re #1!
When your lady really needed to talk to you during the game, she’d appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out. Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed as an acceptable response to I love you. The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO. Sorry I’m late, but I got wasted last night, would be an acceptable
excuse for tardiness. At the end of the workday a whistle would blow and you would jump out of your window and slide down the tail of a brontosaurus and right into your car like Fred Flintstone. Hallmark would make “sorry, what was your name again?”
GARAGE DOOR/:HANDYMAN SERVICE, 53 YEARS EXPERIENCE, specializing in - Service, Spring replacement, rollers, weatherseal , custom painting, CHI, unique and trend view Garage Doors, Liftmaster garage door openers, wholesale/ resale, DIY welcome, offering wood decks, home painting interior and exterior, sheet rock repair, wood floors, bath/kitchen remodel, roofing, Etc. Please call Jim Dyer Overhead Door for free local estimates, senior, military discounts. (775)721-8025
Future Minister
After church on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, “Mom, I’ve decided I’m going to be a minister when I grow up.”
“That’s okay with us,” the mother said, “But what made you decide to be a minister?”
“Well,” the boy replied, “I’ll have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell than to sit still and listen.”
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
A special celebration...
While enjoying an early morning breakfast in a northern Arizona cafe, four elderly ranchers were discussing everything from cattle, horses, and weather to how things used to be in the “good old days.”
Eventually the conversation moved on to their spouses. One gentleman turned to the fellow on his right and asked, “Roy, aren’t you and your bride celebrating your 50th wedding anniversary soon?”
“Yup, we sure are,” Roy replied.
“Well, are you gonna do anything special to celebrate?” another man asked.
The old gentleman pondered this for a moment, then replied, “For our 25th anniversary, I took the misses to Tucson. For our 50th, I’m thinking about going down there again to pick her up.”
2019 BLACK 1.6 FRIGIDAIRE OVER THE RANGE microwave $200 (776)315-4391
SEMI RETIRED PAINTER, INTERIOR, EXTERIOR and cabinets, no two story houses, based in Minden area, call John (831)801-0003
Douglas County Republican Women... will meet in Minden at Valley Christian Fellowship on April 1, 2026. We hope you will be able to join our dynamic group to enjoy a delicious lunch featuring vegetable and meat quiches. Our May meeting will also be at Valley Christian Fellowship on May 6, 2026. We hope you will be able to join us to enjoy lunch featuring beef and chicken taco salad, chips, salsa and guacamole.
Our guest speaker(s) for April and May will be determined by mid-March after Republican candidates have filed to run for office. Please RSVP no later than March 27th (for the April meeting) and by April 30th (for the May meeting) to Elinor Lacy at 415-985-5432 or email DCRWrsvp@ gmail.com for more information.
We encourage you to connect with us to learn more about how you can support the Republican party and get out the vote in 2026, which is another very important election year.
ELECTRIC LEG EXERCISER WITH REMOTE, PAID $200, used 3 times, asking $144 (775)265-1670
HANDYMAN - SMALL CONCRETE WORK, REPAIRS and some overlays, Call Chuck (775)552-5151
WANTED: LICENSE PLATES, OLD MOTORCYCLE
Helmets, Old Pre-1970’s Levi’s, Musical instruments, Old Watches and Old Lighters, John (775)315-4930
Farmers courting
Young Dave was courting Mabel, who lived on an adjoining farm out west in cattle country. One evening, as they were sitting on Dave’s porch watching the sun go down over the hills, Dave spied his prize bull doing the business on one of his cows. He sighed in contentment at this idyllic rural scene and figured the omens were right for him to put the hard word on Mabel.
He leaned in close and whispered in her ear, “Mabel, I’d sure like to be doing what that bull is doing.”
“Well then, why don’t you? “Mabel whispered back. “It is YOUR cow.”
The aging process
Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we’re kids? If you’re less than 10 years old, you’re so excited about aging that you think in fractions.
“How old are you?” “I’m four and a half!” You’re never thirty-six and a half. You’re four and a half, going on five! That’s the key.
You get into your teens, now they can’t hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
“How old are you?” “I’m gonna be 16!” You could be 13, but hey, you’re gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life; you become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony . . . YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There’s no fun now, you’re just a sourdumpling. What’s wrong? What’s changed?
You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you’re PUSHING 40.
Whoa! Put on the brakes, it’s all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.
But wait! You MAKE it to 60. You didn’t think you would!
So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.
You’ve built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it’s a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!
You get into your 80s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn’t end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; “I Was JUST 92.”
Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. “I’m 100 and a half!”
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!
Writing the Editor - We welcome all articles, letters, jokes and comments on Sierra Scoop, local issues, community news and free private party ads, published as space provides. These articles, letters, comments do not necessarily reflect our opinion. All public input is welcome. sierrascoop@charter.net, (775)782-4520
DID YOU KNOW? YouTube users watch over 1 billion hours of video each day.
BEAUTIFUL SOLID OAK UPRIGHT PIANO WITH 2 perfect stained glass panels. Has player piano mechanism with 4 paper rolls, $700 - You pick up (775)2409496
St. Patrick’s Day - March 17th
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
Let him believe
One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve called out to God... “Lord, I have a problem!” “What’s the problem, Eve?”
“Lord, I know you’ve created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, and that hilarious comedic snake, but I’m just not happy.” “Why is that, Eve?” came the reply from above.
“Lord, I am lonely. And I’m sick to death of apples.” “Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you.” “What’s a ‘man, Lord?”
“This man will be a flawed creature, with aggressive tendencies, an enormous ego and an inability to empathize or listen to you properly. All in all, he’ll give you a hard time.”
“But, he’ll be bigger, faster and more muscular than you. He’ll also need your advice to think properly. He’ll be really good at fighting and kicking a ball about, hunting fleet-footed ruminants, and not altogether bad in the sack.”
“Sounds great,” says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow. “What’s the catch, Lord?”
“Yeah, well.... you can have him on one condition.”
“What’s that, Lord?” “You’ll have to let him believe that I made him first.”
PIONEER GLASS PLUS, RESIDENTIAL, COMMERCIAL, emergency services, fair prices, dependable quick service, quality work, 45 years experience, Frank Boudreau, owner NV#7876 (775)720-2373
COMPUTER EXPERT FOR 50 YEARS! WiFi SETUP & Improvement • Camera Systems • Home Surround Sound • Gate Access Systems • Ethernet IDF & MDF • Better TV Services. Call or text Bill (775)339-1281
COMPUTER PROBLEMS? DO YOU NEED help connecting your gadgets? On-site computer repair and network configurations, Honest and Affordable, justin. nelson@goowy.com (775)450-3735
What did you do today?
One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem. His children were playing in the front yard in their pajamas.
Inside the house the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel and the family room was strewn with toys. In the kitchen dishes filled the sink and breakfast food was spilled on the counter.
The man headed up the stairs where he found his wife curled up in bed in her pajamas, reading a novel.
He looked at her bewildered. “What happened here today?” he asked.
She again smiled and answered, “You know every day when you come home from work and ask me what in the world I did today?”
“Yes,” he replied. She answered, “Well, today I didn’t do it.”
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
ZENI’S CLEANING SERVICES! COMMERCIAL and Residential, licensed, affordable and friendly, family owned, 20 years experience, free estimates, Serving Douglas County and surrounding communities, zeniscleaning2022@gmail.com or (775)901-6689
CANNON PLUMBING REPAIR - NEW FIXTURES installed, Hot water heaters, insured, licensed, bonded, local resident servicing - Minden - Airport Road, Johnson Lane, Stephanie area, Call Paul (916)717-2646
Substitute Bus Drivers Wanted
Douglas County School District is currently accepting applications for Substitute School Bus Drivers, Starting Salary: $24.06/hour or up to 5 years of bus driving experience. Varied Hours up to 40 hours a week after 40 hours of paid training at $16.03/hour. Please apply online: dcsd.k12. nv.us/employment to complete an application.
PAINTING BY ART - STAINING AND PAINTING done at affordable rates, personal service with 20 years experience, call for free estimate, Gardnerville (775)3923997
Cesar Chavez Day - March 31st
Please Grandpa
A sister and brother are talking to each other when the little boy gets up and walks over to his Grandpa and says, “Grandpa, please make a frog noise.” The Grandpa says, “No.”
The little boy goes on, “Please .. please make a frog noise.” The Grandpa says, “No, now go play.”
The little boy then says to his sister, “Go tell Grandpa to make a frog noise.”
So the little girl goes to her Grandpa and says, “Please make a frog noise.”
The Grandpa says, “I just told your brother ‘no’ and I’m telling you ‘no’.” The little girl says, “Please .. please Grandpa make a frog noise.” The Grandpa says, “Why do you want me to make a frog noise?”
The little girl replied, “Because mommy said when you croak we can go to Disney World!”
HANDYMAN SERVICES RENOVENTURES, LLC, Serving Carson Valley and beyond - No job too small, Emergency and Weekend work, Licensed & Insured (410)365-8268
DOG WANTED! MALE SCHNAUZER OR TERRIER mix, rescue Schnauzer or shelter dog; Free, free 3 wheel golf cart for sale, needs batteries(775)265-5040
DID YOU KNOW? The most liked image on Instagram is Lionel Messi celebrating Argenina’s 2022 World Cup victory.
ANA’S HOUSECLEANING SERVICES; APARTMENTS, homes, studios, office, Serving Douglas County, Carson, and Dayton, Lic.#202443295503 (775)5083267
KENNY AND COLLEEN’S STUMP GRINDING services, K&C stump grinding services, Call (917)362-3181 or (410)739-4052
LONG ARM QUILTER - EDGE TO EDGE QUILTING, Quick Turnaround, Tammy (925)354-1755
What is the Daylight Act of 2026?
The Daylight Act of 2026 would repeal daylight saving time and readjust the country’s time zones as defined in the Standard Time Act of 1918, often called the Calder Act.
The Calder Act divided the continental United States into five time zones, created by the Interstate Commerce Commission to match zones previously established by the national railroad system. It was later expanded to encompass nine time zones, all defined by their difference from the global Coordinated Universal Time (UTC). Eastern time zone is five hours behind UTC, for example.
Under the Daylight Act, the time zone UTC offsets would be changed to half-hour increments rather than hours. Each time zone would move forward 30 minutes. Eastern time would then be 4.5 hours behind UTC, instead of five.
The Daylight Act of 2026 was referred to the House
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
Committee on Energy and Commerce on Feb. 4 but has not yet moved forward. It is accompanied by a reintroduction of the Daylight Act by Rep. Celeste Maloy, R-Utah, which would allow states to decide if they want to observe DST. If passed by Congress, the time change would kick in 90 days after President Donald Trump signs it into law.
WANTED! COMIC BOOKS AND/OR SPORTS CARDS, I can come to you (562)706-4224
STUCCO AND DRYWALL, PAINT SERVICES, Interior, Exterior wall repairs, cracks, peels, dents, tape texturing, wall paper, popcorn ceiling, removal and refinish, “paint”, 25 years experience, Free Estimates, Licensed and Bonded, Call Fred (775)507-6315
Take
off my clothes
My wife came home the other night and told me to take off her blouse. Then she told me to take off her skirt. Then she told me not to wear her clothes anymore.
PART TIME EMPLOYMENT, NON-PROFIT AGENCY; flexible hours working with seniors. Positions available in Topaz, Coleville, Walker and Bridgeport, California. Call for more information (530)495-2700
1981 EL CAMINO CONQUISTA, 3.8 V6 AUTOMATIC, front disc brakes, clean CA title, runs and drives, needs paint and interior $2,525 OBO; 1993 Ford F250, 4x4, 6 speed, 7.2 turbo diesel, long bed, extended cab, clean Nevada title asking $4,997; C5 Targa Top $250 OBO; factory 2012-2017 Jeep 4 door JK factory Rock slider steps, excellent condition $99.95 OBO (775)9903031
Ever
wonder why women out live men?
If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you’re a male chauvinist. If you stay home and do the housework, you’re a wimp. If you work too hard, there is never any time for her. If you don’t work enough, you’re a good-for-nothing bum. If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this is exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your backside and find something better.
If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favoritism. If she gets a job ahead of you, it’s equal opportunity. If you make a decision without consulting her, you’re a chauvinist. If she makes a decision without consulting you, she’s a liberated woman. If you ask her to do something she doesn’t enjoy, that’s domination. If she asks you, it’s a favor.
If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape, you’re sexist. If you don’t, you’re unromantic. If you try to keep yourself in shape, you’re vain. If you don’t, you’re a slob. If you buy her flowers, you’re after something. If you don’t, you’re not thoughtful. If you’re proud of your achievements, you’re up on yourself. If you don’t, you’re not ambitious. NO WONDER WOMEN OUTLAST MEN...
PUBLISHER’S NOTICE: All real estate advertising in this paper is subject to the Fair Housing Act which makes it illegal to advertise “any preference, limitations or discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex, handicap, familial status or national origin, or an intention to make any such preference, limitation or discrimination.” This magazine will not knowingly accept any advertisement for real estate which is a violation of the law; our readers are hereby informed that all dwellings advertised in this publication are available on an equal opportunity basis. To complain of discrimination call HUD toll-free.
PERFECTO GARDENING SERVICES,
SERVING Carson Valley over 20 Years! Tree and Bush trimming, lawn care, competitive rates and all work guaranteed (775)265-7081
USA DRYWALL LLC, REMODELS AND REPAIRS, Hanging, Taping, any texture, Additions, No Job too small, Insured and Bonded, NV#88940 (775)247-2539
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
Wash Dishes
A man went to visit his 90 year old grandfather in a very secluded rural area of the state he lived in. After spending the night, his grandfather prepared breakfast for him consisting of eggs and bacon. He noticed a film like substance on his plate and he questioned his grandfather:
“Are these plates clean?” His grandfather replied, “Those plates are as clean as cold water can get them, so go on and finish your meal.”
That afternoon, while eating the hamburgers his grandfather made for lunch, he noticed tiny specks around the edge of his plate, and a substance that looked like dried egg yolks. So he asked again, “Are you sure these plates are clean?”
Without looking up from his hamburger, the grandfather says, “I told you before; those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them. Now don’t ask me about it anymore!”
Later that afternoon, he was on his way out to get dinner in a nearby town. As he was leaving, his grandfather’s dog started to growl and wouldn’t let him pass so he said, “Grandfather, your dog won’t let me out.”
Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching on TV his grandfather shouted: “Coldwater! Go lay down!”
DID YOU KNOW? Approximately 59% to 71% of seniors over 65 are on Facebook.
HANDRAILS: STAND ALONE CUSTOM BUILT
Sturdy metal handrails for safety and assistance-most exterior doors and walkways also garage concrete steps corrections and improvements. Carson Valley and Carson City (775)790-6445
DECKS! RESURFACE, REPAIR, REPLACED AND trash removal, Serving Carson Valley (775)315-2235
Didn’t receive your Scoop?
Please contact your postmaster if your carrier misses delivering the Scoop to you. It doesn’t happen often but it does happen. Your postmaster will make sure your carrier delivers the Scoop to you. Thank you!
WHERE CAN YOU PICK UP A COPY OF Sierra Scoop. Please give call me and I can let you know how you can pick up a copy of the Scoop. Lisa 775-782-4520
MUNOZ LAWN MAINTENANCE! MOWING, TRIMMING, Aerating/dethatching Pruning, sprinkler repair and general yard cleanup, over 10 years experience, Andres (775)400-4742
Babe-raham Lincoln
An older man wearing a stovepipe hat, a waistcoat and a phony beard sat down at a bar and ordered a drink. As the bartender set it down, he asked, “Going to a party?”
“Yeah, a costume party,” the man answered, “I’m supposed to come dressed as my love life.”
“But you look like Abe Lincoln.” protested the barkeep.
“That’s right. My last four scores were seven years ago.”
TWO ELECTRA TOWNIE BIKES MEN, WOMENS, excellent condition $350 each, helmets included, also stationary bike, good condition $50 (925)278-4232
2013 SUBARU WRX, AWD, BLACK GRAPHITE, 111,000 MILES, new timing belt kit, all power, asking $10,300 (775)720-2919
SEMI-RETIRED FINISH CARPENTER Door install/ repairs, security screens, deadbolts, shelving, moldings, barn/wood plank-shiplap-beadboard wall covering and cabinet installation. Call Mark (775)782-6198 or (775)790-5927
“A MOVING EXPERIENCE” - MOVE ASSISTANCE, 25+ years experience, Senior Discounts! KenJeter, kenjeter65@gmail.com or (775)530-8932
HARLEY DAVIDSON ENGINE REBUILDING, 30+ years experience, quick turn-around! Free pick–up and delivery, californiafritz.com or (530)694-2521
ANTIQUES, COLLECTIBLES AND FINE ART for sale by owner, for more details call (775)901-3092
DID YOU KNOW? Up to 350 million photos are uploaded to Facebook daily.
April Fool’s Day - April 1st
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
The publisher does not assume any responsibility for the contents of any advertising herein, and all representation or warranties made in such advertising are those of the advertisers and not the publishers.
WE’RE THE SOLUTION TO YOUR CLUTTER problems. Put A roll-off dumpster at your home, you load, we remove, ask us about our loading assistance available (775)297-2320
I must tell
After a woman gave birth to her baby, the Doctor stood solemnly beside her bed. “There is something I must tell you about your baby.” “What’s wrong,” the alarmed mother asked? “Your baby is a hermaphrodite.” “What’s that?” “It means your baby has both male and female parts.” “Oh my God, that’s wonderful!”, the mother said, “You mean it has a penis and a brain?”
A1 PAINTER PROS AND MAINTENANCE LLC. PAINTING INSIDE AND OUT, 40+ YEARS experience, senior discounts, locally owned and operated, serving Minden, Gardnerville, Genoa, Carson and Tahoe (775)790-7425
Passover - April 2nd
A
dog’s purpose
Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a tenyear-old Irish Wolfhound named Belker. The dog’s owners, Ron, his wife Lisa, and their little boy Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle.
I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family we couldn’t do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home.
As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience.
The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker ‘s family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away.
The little boy seemed to accept Belker’s transition without any difficulty or confusion. We sat together for a while after Belker’s Death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives.
Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, ‘’I know why.’’
Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I’d never heard a more comforting explanation. It has changed the way I try and live.
He said, ‘’People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life -- like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?’’
The seven-year-old continued, ‘’Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don’t have to stay as long.’’
FOUR PLACE SNOWMOBILE OR ATV TRAILER, approximately 20’ long, asking $1,400 (775)315-7410
CLASS RING FOUND, WOMAN’S. MINDEN AREA, 1972 North High, Torrance Ca. Call to identify 775 -267-1515
ANDRES LAWN & LANDSCAPE - FOR ALL YOUR lawn and landscape needs, 16 years experience, senior discounts, Lic.#00030471, Call Andres at (775)443-0431
SLOOWW COMPUTER? VIRUSES? MALWARE? Need an upgrade? Will do a complete computer maintenance: Remove Junk, Viruses, Malware. Test Hard Drive, Memory, Do updates and Print-Out. 25 Yrs+ Pro & Corp Experience $50 flat fee. Satisfaction guaranteed. I come to you! Tom (775)7202814
WOOD STOVE PELLETS, WE SELL Pellets, cleanest burning, highest heat output, out performs all others, ½ cord almond firewood, bensonfeed.com, Benson Feed, Carson City (775)882-3999
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
An Easter story for
young children
Easter is a time to celebrate Jesus. God sent Jesus to earth because He loves us. While He lived on earth, Jesus did many wonderful things. He made sick people well. He showed them how to be kind to each other and love one another. He taught God’s truth to everyone He met, and He forgave the bad things people did to Him and each other. But the best thing Jesus ever did was die on the cross to save us from our sins.
All His friends, called disciples, loved Jesus and believed He was God’s Son. But other people hated Jesus. They didn’t like to hear the truth He shared because they liked doing things their own way. They wanted to hurt Jesus and make Him go away.
After Jesus ate supper with His disciples one evening, He went into the garden to pray. The men who didn’t like Jesus sent soldiers into the garden to arrest Him. The soldiers hurt Jesus and sent Him to die on the cross.
After Jesus died, they placed Him in a dark cave called a tomb and rolled a heavy stone in front of the cave entrance. Jesus’s disciples were very sad that they could not see Jesus anymore.
On the third day after His death, some of His friends went to the tomb and were shocked to find that the stone was rolled away, and the dark cave was empty!
A lesson about blood flow
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said: “Now, students, if I stood on my head the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red in the face.”
“Yes, sir,” the boys said. “Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn’t run into my feet?” A little fellow shouted, “’It’s because yer feet ain’t empty.”
MOUNTAIN POOL & SPA - WE CLEAN pools and spas, monthly and bi-monthly service (530)318-1698
RUGER M77 MARK II. 270 WIN W/BUSHNELl 3x9x,32. Wood stock. $700. Marlin Lever Action Cal. 35 REM w/Vanguard 2.5-10x50 and 29 rounds $900. NIB Remington Model 770. 30-06 w/factory 3-9x-40 scope and 50rounds $350. Astra model 1921 9mm $350. HiStandard .22cal w-104 $125. AIM 1.5-4x30 $50. All in Yerington. Ray (775)461-6687
PET CARE SERVICE! JODY WADDING, OWNER since 1991, references available, boarding offered or visit your home; horses, dogs, cats, reptiles, birds, fish… JWPetCare@aol.com or (775)781-1065
His friends were sacred and sad because they didn’t know what had happened to Jesus’s body. But then an angel appeared and told them that Jesus had risen from the dead! Their fear and sadness turned to excitement and joy. Jesus was alive! And He never died again. He is still alive today! (Author unknown)
“YOUR HOMETOWN JUNK HAULER SINCE 1996!” Junk and Trash, etc, Carson Valley/Carson City, $399 a load plus dump fee, J.R.’s Hauling (775)265-6813
CASH PAID FOR OLD COSTUME JEWELRY: Rhinestones, Mexican and Indian Tourist Jewelry, Rings, Bracelets, Necklaces, Pins, Men’s Jewelry, Old Plastics, Silver, Copper, Glass Beads, Men’s and Women’s Old Wind Up Watches, Charm Bracelets, Lockets etc. Larger quantities preferred. I drive to you. Call or text Joanne at (775)430-2352
2004 F150 4X4 LARIAT CREW CAB, 163,000 MILES, options loaded, asking $6,500 (775)720-2919
DO YOU NEED TO REPLACE YOUR WORN out concrete driveway, patio, or walkway? We also install new patios, driveways, monolithic garage slabs, retaining walls, footings, and stemwalls. K&C Construction, NV LIC # 79034, 79237, 81038, 86464. To get a free quote call at (775)691-6462
Easter - April 5th
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
How often men have whoopee..
A famous sexologist was giving a lecture in front of a big crowd. “There are 4 kinds of men when it comes to whoopee. The first kind does it every day. You can usually recognize him by his masculine body and the constant smile on his face. Do we have anyone like this in the audience?”
A man got up from the audience and he fitted the description: Big firm body with a smile on his face.
“Then there is the second kind. They have whoopee once a week. They also have a generally happy mood, and look pretty good, but of course not as good as the first kind. Is there any one of them here tonight?”.
A second man got up, and he too fitted the description.
“The third kind do it once a month. They are chubby and usually grumpy. Anyone of them here?” The man that raised from his chair looked exactly like the expert claimed.
“And then there is the 4th kind. They do it once a year. They usually have a big belly, but the thing that is most typical is that they are in a constant state of depression. I know it would be hard for him to admit, but if there is one of those in the audience, please rise”.
A fat, short man stood up, but in contrary to the experts prediction, he looked very cheerful. “You do it only once a year?”, the expert asked. “Yes, only once a year”.
“So why are you so happy?”, demanded the expert. “Well”, said the man, cheeringly, “Tonight is the night!”...
MANUELS LANDSCAPING SERVICES - FIRE Pits, Pavers, Fences, Rocks, Sprinklers, Artificial Turf, Retaining Walls, Water Features, Spring and Fall Clean Ups, Lawn Care Service - Aerating, Thatching, Mowing, all for a great price, you’ll be happy, NV#20222462146, Castaneda Landscaping LLC (775)291-7499
COMPLETE LANDSCAPING, RESIDENTIAL and commercial, weekly maintenance, tree trimming, emergency repairs, sprinklers/drip, pavers, patios, retaining walls, Davenport Landscape and Design, NV Lic.#0074827,davenportlandscape.com or (775)2651491 or (775)721-8439
SPECIALIZING IN GARAGES, ADDITIONS, REMODELS, decks, patio covers, free estimates, NV#0080432, Redline Construction Inc. (775)781-3955
PROFORM STATIONARY BIKE, ASKING $235 OBO; five drawer filing cabinet for sale, for more details call Russ (408)270-4028
SOLID HARDWOOD QUEEN SIZED BE FRAME with headboard and footboard, dark finish, asking $125 (775)781-9994
Cabinet Refinishing Services with Cabinet Guard products
DON’T RE-FACE OR REPLACE YOUR CABINETS UNTIL YOU EVALUATE OUR REFURBISHING SERVICES! We utilize Products and processes (pat pending) exclusively owned by “Cabinet Guard”. With 46 years of development by founder and master craftsman Dana Ayler: “I will wind back the clock on your cabinets. We tint over your original cabinet finish. We are completely dustless! Starting with a thorough cleaning, then rejuvenate & re-luster the wood’s grain for maximum contribution and color (tint) blocking yellow from the original finish, w/100% UV protection. Final topcoats are very durable, strong enough for hardwood flooring. Easier to clean and maintain*EPANon-Toxic* No need to empty cabinets and you do not lose daily functioning of your kitchen.* Color Sampling Selection Program. Local client Testimonials and references. *Inquire. Yes as electives we upgrade hinges / hardware, clean and reseal Granite and/or Tile.
Workdays 9:00am to 4:00pm returning you kitchen back to you until 9:00am the next workday. I Dana, perform all work on job site, no employees. NV Lic. #18331 CA Lic. #31997 (insured) See our informative website: www. cabinetguard.net. Questions: email info@cabinetguard. net. Text or call Dana (775)781-7462
MIGUEL’S GARDEN SERVICE, FULL LAWN MAINTENANCE, clean up, fertilizing, dead shrubs and trees pulled out, excellent references, great rates, serving Carson Valley 27+ years! (775)265-0501
DID YOU KNOW? About 70% of employers use social media to screen candidates during the hiring process. 54%-85% have disqualified candidates based on their online content.
Earth Day - April 22nd
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
If Women ruled the world...
Male stripper
The other day, my friends and I went to a Ladies Night Club. One of the girls wanted to impress the rest of us, so she pulled out a $10 bill. When the male dancer came over to us, my friend licked the $10 bill and stuck it to his butt cheek!
Not to be outdone, another friend pulls out a $20 bill. She calls the guy back over, licks the $20 bill, and sticks it to his other butt cheek. In another attempt to impress the rest of us, my third friend pulls out a $50 bill and calls the guy over, and licks the bill. I’m worried about the way things are going, but fortunately she just stuck it to one of his butt cheeks, again.
My relief was short lived. Seeing the way things are going, the guy gyrates over to me! Now everyone’s attention is focused on me, and the guy’s egging me on to try to top the $50. My brain was churning as I reached for my wallet. What could I do? Then the marketer in me took over! I got out my ATM card, swiped it down the crack of his butt, grabbed the 80 bucks, and went home.
DID YOU KNOW? Over 100 billion messages are sent on WhatsApp every day.
C-THRU WINDOW CLEANING, AND GENERAL maintenance, Call Casey (775)350-8021
Men would sit around and wonder what WE are thinking. Singles bars would have metal detectors to weed out men hiding wedding rings in their pockets. A man would no longer be considered a ‘good catch’ simply because he is breathing. Fewer women would be dieting because their ideal weight standard would increase by 40 pounds. Shopping would be considered an aerobic activity. ‘Ms.’ Magazine would have an annual swimsuit issue featuring scantily clad male models. Men would not be allowed to eat gas-producing foods within two hours of bedtime.
Men would be secretaries for female bosses, working twice as hard for none of the credit. Little girls would read ‘Snow White and the Seven Hunks.’ Men would bring drinks, chips and dip to women watching soap operas. Men would HAVE to get Playboy for the articles, because there would be no pictures. Men would learn phrases like: ‘I’m sorry,’ ‘I love you,’ ‘You’re beautiful,’ ‘Of course you don’t look fat in that outfit.’ Men would be judged entirely by their looks, women by their accomplishments.
Men would pay as much attention to their woman as to their car. All toilet seats would be nailed down. Men would work on relationships as much as they work on their careers. TV news segments on sports would never run longer than 1 minute. All men would be forced to spend one month in a PMS simulator. During mid-life crisis, men would get hot-flashes and women would date 19-year-olds. Overweight men would have their weight brought to their attention constantly. After a baby is born, men would take a six-week paternity leave to wait on their wives hand and foot. For basic training, soldiers would have to take care of a two-year old for six weeks.
AERATING & DETHATCHING $300 MOST yards, large yards welcomed, sprinkler repair tree & Juniper removal, excavating, Earth, Turf & Timber Landscape Maintenance (775)450-1955
HANDYMAN PROS (NOT LICENSED) - RAPID RESPONSE, ALL Phases of Construction, New, Repair, Roofs, Bath, Kitchen, Painting, Custom, Carpentry, Landscaping, Concrete, minor Plumbing and Electrical, Tile, Granite & more, Professionally Designed Blue Prints (775)400-6822
HOME WATCH SERVICES, NORTHERN NEVADA
Home Watch is a licensed and bonded home watch service. If you are an absentee owner, frequent traveler, or just want peace of mind while away on an extended vacation. We provide regular visual inspections of your home when you can’t. For more information visit nvhomewatch.com or contact us at (775)292-1272
SUGAR PLUM HOUSEKEEPING - LICENSED with References. $60/hr (775)220-4252
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
The mule
A newly wed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who immediately demanded an inspection of the place. While they were walking through the barn, the farmer’s mule suddenly reared up and kicked the mother-in-law in the head, killing her instantly.
On your Birthday!
Wishing you 365 days of adventure, laughter, the love of family and friends and moments worth remembering. Happy birthday! The Scoop
RELIABLE INTERNET FROM $65/MONTH. Upgrade to 5G (100-600Mbps) for lightning-fast speeds. Local tech support, no contracts (775)297-4770
If you have something to sell or something to say, put it in the Scoop today! sierrascoop.com
At the funeral service a few days later, the farmer stood near the casket and greeted folks as they walked by. The pastor noticed that whenever a woman would whisper something to the farmer, he would nod his head “Yes” and say something. Whenever a man walked by and whispered to the farmer, he would shake his head, “No” and mumble a reply. Curious, the pastor later asked the farmer what that was all about.
The farmer replied, ‘’The women would say, ‘What a terrible tragedy’ and I would nod my head and say, ‘Yes, it was.’ The men would ask, ‘You wanna sell that mule?’ and I would shake my head and say, ‘Can’t. It’s all booked up for a year.’
BUYING CASINO CHIPS, OLD POSTCARDS, ADVERTISING signs, coins, old Nevada match book collections, old scrapbooks, old Nevada telephone books, old bottles, confederate money, letters, etc. - Terry (775)782-3904 2000
MITSUBISHI RALLY ECLIPSE RALLY SPORT EDITION, blown head gasket, asking $800 (775)720-2919
What is this?
One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex standing in the foyer of the church staring up at a large plaque? It was covered with names and small American flags mounted on either side of it. The seven-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time.
So the pastor walked up, stood beside the little boy, and said quietly, “Good morning, Alex.”
“Good morning, Pastor,” he replied, still focused on the plaque. “Pastor, what is this?”
The pastor said, “Well son, it’s a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service.”
Soberly, they just stood together, staring at the large plaque.
Finally, little Alex’s voice, barely audible and trembling with fear asked: “Which service, the 8:30 or the 10:45?”
ENGLISH LABRADOODLE PUPPIES BEAUTIFUL, Raised with love, excellent with children and families. Available in cream, chocolate, and black & white parti. Vet checked, dewormed, and vaccinated. Card Family Ranch. Call or text (775)294-2286
CHUCK NORRIS TOTAL GYM $76 (77)990-3031
Alienated Grandparents Anonymous
AGA focuses on the struggle so many grandparents have in being part of their grandchildren’s lives. AGA provides support and information, and helps validate the feelings of those suffering some degree of estrangement, alienation, or isolation. AGA serves toward bringing alienated grandparents, parents, and grandchildren together.
For more information email the Nevada AGA Coordinator at AGA.SilverStateNV@gmail.com or visit www. alienatedgrandparentsanonymous.com
2006 HONDA VX300, LESS THAN 10,000 MILES with accessories, was in storage, asking $6,000 OBO (775)265-2578
WANTED, OLD CARS, COLLECTOR CARS, MUSCLE cars, non running or no title okay, private collector, give me a call (775)315-8265
DID YOU KNOW? On average, people spend around 145 minutes per day on social media.
“The Paper With A Hometown Flavor”
Anger and Exasperation
A young girl who was writing a paper for school came to her father and asked, “Dad, what is the difference between anger and exasperation?”
The father replied, “It is mostly a matter of degree. Let me show you what I mean.”
With that the father went to the telephone and dialed a number at random. To the man who answered the phone, he said, “Hello, is Melvin there?” The man answered, “There is no one living here named Melvin. Why don’t you learn to look up numbers before you dial them?”
“See,” said the father to his daughter . “That man was not a bit happy with our call. He was probably very busy with something and we annoyed him. Now watch....”
The father dialed the number again. “Hello, is Melvin there?” asked the father. “Now look here!” came the heated reply. “You just called this number and I told you that there is no Melvin here! You’ve got a lot of nerve calling again!” The receiver slammed down hard.
The father turned to his daughter and said, “You see, that was anger. Now I’ll show you what exasperation means.” He dialed the same number and when a violent voice roared ‘Hello!’ in answer, the father calmly said, “Hello, this is Melvin. Have there been any calls for me?”
Admin Assistants Day - April 22nd
DR. FIX IT HOME REPAIR PRO, ANY OUTSIDE/ INSIDE repairs, big or small, flat rate $40 per hour (775)691-5119
D R LANDSCAPING, DEFENSIBLE SPACE, TREE work and yard cleanups, sprinkler repairs and weed abatement, house and garage clean ups, Dave (775)6710808
SEMI RETIRED GENTLEMAN LOOKING FOR WORK on and around a farm or ranch to help with horse, farm animals, etc., willing to work for room. cowboygrandpa10@gmail.com or (406)749-0901
Speeding
Two girlfriends were speeding down the highway at well over 90 mph.
“Hey,” asked the brunette at the wheel, “see any cops following us?”
The blonde turned around for a long look. “As a matter of fact, I do.”
“Crap!” cursed the brunette. “Are his flashers on?
The blonde turned around again. “Yup...nope...yup... nope....yup.....”
The Douglas County Kids’ Fishing Derby
This year’s derby will be held June 6th and 7th, 2026 at Lampe Park in Gardnerville; hosting all children ages 3-12. Tickets to attend this volunteer run event are FREE; however, you must pre-register to receive a free session ticket. Derby hats, t-shirts and other resale items will be available for purchase. Raffle tickets are available for $2 each, or 6 for $10!
Registration will begin April 1st and continue until 4:00PM June 5th. For Kid Registration and Volunteer SignUps, you can visit AJ’s Stoves in Gardnerville (1267 Highway 395, Suite A) throughout the week during their regular business hours, as well as at Raley’s Gardnerville parking lot (store #0109) on Saturdays from 10AM-1PM. Forms can also be downloaded from the Kids’ Fishing Derby website and mailed in to PO Box 626, Gardnerville, NV 89410 to receive your session ticket.
Volunteers are needed to help set up, tear down, register, river help, fish cleaning and more. If you are interested in becoming a volunteer, please contact Danny Lozano at dckfdvolunteers@gmail.com, or visit our website: DCNVKidsFishingDerby.org
CASH PAID FOR VINTAGE COSTUME JEWELRY. All Types Including: Bracelets, Necklaces, Pins, Rings, Silver, Copper, Pot Metal, Rhinestones, Lockets, Charm Bracelets, Men’s Jewelry, Old Watches, Military Jewelry, Old Mexican and Indian Tourist Jewelry. Larger Quantities Preferred. Please leave phone number and clear message on my phone. I return all calls. Call or text Joanne at (775)430-2352
2000 WINNEBAGO BRAVE 33V, 454, 34,000 MILES, new tires, refrigerator and water heater. Slide out, floors upgraded, excellent condition. All systems 100% (generator, AC, etc) Must see to appreciate $17,999 (530)885-8997
LAWN CARE SERVICE! AERATING, THATCHING, Mowing, Trimming, Pruning, Tractor Work, Fence Repair, Concrete Work, Sprinklers/Repair, General Yard Clean Up, Free Estimates, 15 Years Experience, Ruben (775)430-3585
GARAGE DOOR/:HANDYMAN SERVICE, 53 YEARS EXPERIENCE, specializing in - Service, Spring replacement, rollers, weatherseal , custom painting, CHI, unique and trend view Garage Doors, Liftmaster garage door openers, wholesale/ resale, DIY welcome, offering wood decks, home painting interior and exterior, sheet rock repair, wood floors, bath/kitchen remodel, roofing, Etc. Please call Jim Dyer Overhead Door for free local estimates, senior, military discounts. (775)721-8025
“The
