Shine ALOUD UK - Issue 2 - The Valentines Edition

Sex & Relationships with a different tone

25 NOT

Reasons

To Have Sex My Sex Clinic

Experience

Maxwell D Tribal Man

52 The Valentines Day Issue February 2012 Hi, Hello and Welcome!

The 2nd issue of Shine ALOUD has now arrived.

I would like to thank all of you who supported and read our first issue which has now accumulated over 800 unique views and 300 Facebook likes, which is more than uplifting. We Shine ALOUDers believe in the importance of sexual health and relationship education for young people and we are glad that you do too.

We would like to give a huge THANK YOU to Zeon Richards owner of XYZEE – a management and consultancy agency in the entertainment industry – and manager of Wretch 32, who has kindly donated £250 to our company, allowing us to continue on our journey as a magazine and youth group. It’s one thing to believe in your own idea and another to be supported by others.

This issue will be looking at the importance of relationships and with Valentines Day just around the corner, you shouldn’t feel you have to be in a relationship to be happy. The relationship you have with yourself is just as important as the ones you have with others, so use any opportunity you have to build, learn and grow as a person.

Just as Rome wasn’t built in a day, neither was a healthy relationship.

As usual we will also be talking to public figures and industry icons to get their views on sex and relationships in addition to more sex facts, stories and features.

Shine ALOUD – Sex & Relationships with a different tone.

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Editor in Chief: Rianna Raymond-Williams Design & layout: Lesley Mitchell Book Design Shine ALOUD Team Florence Alake, Henry Katende, Anna Sungale, Martin Bbosa, Martin Losa, Rebecca Hayward, Talha Humayoun, Jade Clarke Contributors Davina Cedras, Emmanuel Ray, Emily Mailes, Funmi Olutoye, Annette Jack, Jennifer Reiter, Jason Gibbs, Patrick Phipps, Lola Atkins, Justin Nelson, Jade Benn, Josh Ford, Jordan Williams, Maxwell D, Verity Nelson, Sunshine Soul Creations and Tribal Man

48 sex & relationships with a different tone

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07

9

Debate

Who Pays on the First Date? feature

10 Interesting Facts

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12

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MUSIC

Dance Crazes SERVICES

Sex Factor 2012 feature

Valentines Day Now and Then

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relationships

Heart Break Hotel

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feature

Cut Above The Rest

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24

25

28

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EDUCATION

Eye with a View DEBATE

Pregnant at Uni EDUCATION

Compare the Uni DEBATE

We Need a New Word feature

25 Reasons Not To Have Sex

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feature

Emmanuel Ray

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feature

My Sex Clinic Experience

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42 45

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48

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SERVICES

Text M8 Shine Gallery DEBATE

Yolo Craze SERVICES

A Day in the Life of a CSA EVENTS

What Happened Last Night feature

To Strap or Not to Strap

debate

Who should pay on the first date?

The Man. . .

Most men tend to be offended when a woman offers to pay on the first date - as though it’s their duty to fork the bill. If he pays, it shows me that he will look after me in the future if or when we are together. It means he’s not afraid to spend money, he’s not selfish and of course, he’s willing to impress me, which is definitely a start to a good relationship. It’s his sole opportunity to show me that he can and will provide. Even if it’s a meal from McDonalds, that shows me ‘I don’t have much, but I’m willing to do this for you’. It keeps the old fashion idea of romance is alive. Going halves is what you do with a friend, not a potential boyfriend. At the same time the female should always have enough money to ensure she can pay for herself.

The Woman. . .

It’s the 21st century, women work and even earn more than us men in some cases, so she who pays, hold her own, but shouldn’t be resentful for forking the bill. I’ve allowed a woman to pay for me on the first date, but only because she insisted,

for the rest of the night her face was push-up as though I’d robbed her of £1million – VERY AKWARD. It would be nice if a woman could pay on the first date, it shows me that she’s not just after my money or even simply me doing things for her. She’s independent, confident and comfortable, not only spending her money, but also with the outcome of the date whatever it is.

Even if it doesn’t turn into us being together long term, she still had a good time – or not LOL - but didn’t mind spending her money on me for one night. I like that!

Go halves on the bill. . .

It’s nice to have the offer from both sides but ideally the bill should be spilt, then you won’t feel like you owe someone something. Men and women are equal; especially on the first date no one should feel obliged to foot the bill. Neither of you are together so you should be mutually providing for yourselves.

If you both agreed to go, why shouldn’t you both agree to pay? It only makes sense.

What do you think? Send us your thoughts to www.shinealoud@live.co.uk

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feature

interesting

facts about sex

In London, it’s illegal to have sex on a parked motorcycle.

The average person spends 2 weeks of its life kissing. French kissing especially, can prevent cavities.

For every ‘normal’ webpage, there are five porn pages.

S ex is biochemically no different from eating large quantities of chocolate.

A man’s beard grows fastest when he anticipates sex.

Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. It is 10 times more effective than valium!

Sex burns 360 calories per hour.

94% of men lie about their penis size. According to condom manufacturers, only 6% of men use extra large condoms.

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The average man is 5 inches long when erect.

95% of women shave their privates and only 16% of men do.

music

WHAT DO do?

Music, and the dance routines that come with them; have always been a cause for concern when looking at sexualisation in modern day Britain.

Especially when the icons of popular culture parade around on our TV screens wearing next to nothing, revealing all their private parts, no wonder the country and world have gone humping mad.

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Tribal Man and Maxwell D are veterans of the UK Funky genre, who both released infectious Funky House dance tunes in the early days of the emerging scene. Shine ALOUD speaks to them both to get their opinions on how dance crazes such as Tribal Skank and Black Berry Hype portrayed sex and relationships to young people.

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music

‘Of course I have a responsibility as an artist to represents a positive picture of sex and relationships to young people! Music is a very powerful tool and if you promote safe sex, fans will buy in to it because they admire your art.’

‘Tribal Skank was a good dance craze; young people loved it, even till this day. It was part of a lot of people’s teenage years including myself; I was only 19 when I made it. The track was just saying have a good time really; because before the skank wave, the urban music scene was violent and a lot of raves were getting shut down because of that the negativity the music brought. I received my first sex-ed classes when I was in year 9 or 10 in school, but it wasn’t useful for me because at the time I had already lost my virginity.’

‘I think dance crazes do have a big impact on what young people believe to be sexual, but depending on which dance it is. The dance craze that has hit the rave scene now called’ daggering’ and ‘twerking’ are very provocative dances and perceives sex in a way people that age shouldn’t really see.’

Unfortunately, this is really bad, but I don’t really know any sexual health services that are available to young people. To be honest, I don’t really think there’s enough information on sexual health out there for young people, unless they’re watching reality TV to learn from them - LOL. I think there should be classes of some

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music

sort to teach people the importance of sex and relationships, so young people aren’t just going out there and having reckless sex without the knowledge they need.’

As an artists and entertainer I have to entertain people, and obviously I’m not a virgin. I don’t fabricate things, but I don’t just concentrate on one aspect. There are a variation of themes and messages in my music.

Sometimes I have my party hat on; sometimes I have my real life hat on.

It all just depends on what mood I’m in when I’m making music.’

‘I think Blackberry Hype was a very influential tune, it made people want to go out and buy the handset so it definitely served its purpose as well as highlighting the Blackberry as the new form of free communication, basically like MSN but for mobiles.’ ‘The whole BBM

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things was a big network that everyone was jumping on at the time, so I realised what the phone was capable of and turned it into a tune with a jokey vibe.’

‘I received my sex-ed from school and personal experiences, it was useful to a certain extent but I was quite clued up already. It was good because it educated the other guys who didn’t have a clue about what was going on. In terms of dance I think people love to follow a craze, whether it’s the new phone, or new piece of clothing, so I don’t really think dance routines have that much impact on sex, because if they’re going to have sex, they’re going to do it anyway, regardless of what we tell them, but if we can stop them from doing it from doing it, GREAT!’ ‘Sex-ed definitely has to start in the household; parents have a responsibility to show their kids what’s going on in their bodies. Kids having kids is not a good look.’

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services

Does your have the Sex Factor Ideas 2012 is a competition where young Londoners between the ages of 16-25 can submit ideas that they think will help other young people take better care of their sexual health.

What kinds of ideas? It could be a campaign, advert, phone app, condom package design or whatever you dream of. Your ideas could discuss HIV testing, LGBT health, sexual consent, knowledge about contraception and so much more. Six winners will have their ideas made into a real thing!

We’ve had loads of great ideas already submitted, including one for a sexual health museum, an innovative condom package design, a sexual health cafe and a phone app to ask questions to.

While it may be too late to submit an idea, it’s now time to get voting on what you’d like to see made into a real product. After all, these ideas are thought up by young people, now young people should decide what they want to see targeting them and their sexual health.

All young people, no matter age or where they live, can vote on Sex Factor ideas.

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All you have to do is visit our YouTube www.youtube.com/ user/sexfactorideas2012 where entries are uploaded, click on ‘Favourites’ at the top to see all competition entries, and then simply ‘like´ the videos!

That’s all there is to it.

Voting will be open until midFebruary so get liking and let us know what you want to see around London! Have your say and be a sexual health champion in 2012.

Please contact Jennifer if you have any questions about the Sex Factor competition: jennifer.reiter@mbarc.co.uk.

This competition is part of NHS London’s preparation for the 2012 Olympics and is led

by MBARC, a social consultancy and research firm who run a programme of youth engagement around sexual health services.

Jennifer Reiter Sexual Health Projects Co-ordinator, MBARC

now and then

As we all know Valentine’s Day or St Valentine’s Day has many different beginnings and the stories behind it, Verity Nelson speaks to Shine ALOUD about what Valentine’s Day should mean and enlighten us with her findings of Valentine’s Day dating back to 270bc.

Valentine’s Day is believed to have started during the era of the Roman Empire under the rule of Emperor Claudius Gothicus II. Claudius forced

his soldiers to take part bloody battles in an attempt to conquer all opposition. For this same reason, Roman men didn’t want to join the

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feature

Couples should not use Valentine’s Day to expose their love to others for show. military because they feared death as much as they feared leaving their families and loved ones, causing Claudius to become outraged, which resulted in all marriages and engagements between cancelled couples in Rome.

The good Saint Valentine and Saint Marius helped Christian by marrying couples in secret. It wasn’t long before St Valentine was confronted by the Prefect of Rome who ordered him to be beaten to death with clubs and beheaded. Valentine died on the 14th of February.

It is believed that whilst in prison, he became close with a prison guard’s daughter and upon the day of his death, Valentine wrote her a letter and signed it ‘from your Valentine’. On this day, the tradition of Valentine’s Day began.

The celebration of this event varies in different countries. Children in England hundreds of years ago used to sing songs about Valentine’s Day whereas others would give gifts,

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letter, flowers and even clothes.

Wooden spoons were exchanged in Wales which had keys attached and hearts were carved into the wood.

Valentine’s Day was once a day where simple gifts and letters were exchanged between lovers. In recent years, Valentine’s Day while still having these small elements has become a day that greeting card and confectionery companies profit greatly.

Company websites often have countdowns to Valentine’s Day and hints and tips as to what to buy for girlfriends or wives. Magazines have mini wish lists where women can circle the desired item and leave for their partners to find.

In modern times, Valentine’s Day has become the day when you prove your love through material things.

The measure of love can be found - for some - in an expensive piece of jewellery from Tiffany’s or the biggest bunch of red roses. Love is measured through the romantic Valentine’s Day meal at an expensive restaurant or the rose petals leading to a ylang-ylang scented bath with candles.

Money and commercialism are the name of the game and you are humiliated if you do not get a gift from a boyfriend or if you are single.

Making sure that everyone can see how much you are loved is important. Cards are counted and large

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feature stuffed animals delivered to women.

It is all just a bit too much and it can cost too much.

Valentine’s Day has become superficial and very far from what the day should be about. But even then, do we need just one day to signify our love for one another.

Saint Valentine died on the 14th February and on his last day, he wrote a letter to someone he cared for. Couples should not use Valentine’s Day to expose their love to others for show. It really should not be used to embarrass the single.

If people want to show love for their partners, they should do it every day. A simple, meaningful love letter means more than an expensive piece of jewellery.

Women cling to the romantic images that the advertisers show them.

Balloons bearing ‘I love you’, colourful banners, marriage proposals, weekend getaways and romantic picnics in parks are desired; even craved for. The pressure of living up to someone’s expectation has become too much for some to handle and break-ups occur.

It is noted that the most breakups come during the Valentine’s period.

What does Valentine’s Day mean to you?

Send us your responses to shinealoud@live.co.uk

Valentine’s Day is not the symbol of love it once was.

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Many of you will be in or embarking upon your first loving sexual relationship and the dizzying excitement that comes with it.

Unfortunately, first love often precedes first heartbreak.

Checking out of

It’s not pretty, but it can be overcome, making you stronger and more aware of your own needs and better preparing you for the future.

Before you can begin healing yourself after a failed relationship you need to accept its failure. For whatever reasons you ended up making each other feel something negative (boredom/anger/sadness etc) more than you made each other feel anything positive, and that’s not

sustainable. So it had to stop. But that doesn’t make it easy.

Remember that long before you met this person, you were made happy by people around youfriends and family- and your own hobbies and interests. Before this person came into your life you didn’t depend on them, and you still don’t. Enrich and empower yourself by doing things you enjoy

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relationships

Remember that long before you met this person, you were made happy by people around you

that sadness is not weakness, but moping will get you nowhere.

Get up, go out and get on with your life, because it doesn’t start tomorrow, or when you meet ‘the one‘ and settle down. This is it. The world is very big, your heart is very strong, and will repair itself in time, I promise.

both alone and with people that make you happy- don’t torture yourself by romanticizing a time that didn’t last.

Dwelling on the difficult parts of a past relationship is depressing, and reminiscing too often about the good parts can cloud the truth; that you were jigsaw pieces that didn’t fit. Whether you and your ex choose to stay friends is up to you- what I wouldn’t recommend is a ‘friends with benefits’ situation, as it could prolong feelings of attachment and make moving on more difficult.

Get up and Go out Don’t mope around, stay busy. Do what you like, and do it in good company.

Learn from the experience.

Allow this significant relationship to leave its mark on you in a positive way, by making you better prepared for the future.

Don’t be bitter!

By being open before you allowed yourself the joy of falling in love.

Don’t forget how good that was, and don’t deny yourself the pleasure of enjoying that feeling again, one day.

And finally, No Rebounds!

When you fall deeply in love with a person, breaking up is a grieving process. But life is for living, not dwelling among corpses with entwined limbs that envisioned a future together, once. You knew it wasn’t working. If you didn’t then you do now. Enjoy being single.

To get over an ex you do NOT need to get under someone else. Give yourself time to heal, and get back into the dating game when you’re happy by yourself again.

Don’t break somebody else’s heart (or your own) by rushing into a new relationship too soon. Understand

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Dressing looking and feeling great is a major part of our daily lives.

Whether it be buying those new pair of heels that all the girls are dying for, that snapback that J Cole wore in his latest video or generally the latest bling and accessories, hot off the shelves.

Shine ALOUD speaks to Sir Patrick Anthony Phipps owner of Cut Above The Rest Barber Studio to find out his views on the messages displayed by beauticians and what impact they have on the young people.

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feature

sex education in school is good, but they need to start talking to the youth on their wave length to be taken seriously people look up to them’, he continues, ‘as a barber, you feel it makes you super human. It’s up to you to make your client look the best he can. We’re kind of like plastic surgeons for the mind and we feed the soul.’

The Cut Above The Rest Barber Shop was established in 1991, in Eastham, East London. What Patrick originally started as a barber shop has expanded into a beautifying dynasty, where he now hosts his own clothing label ‘Funkkwest’, stocking garments from hoodies to T-Shirts, a tattoo parlour called ‘ Cut Above The Ink’ and recording studio called ‘Cut Above Studios’.

Throughout his 28 years of barbering he has managed to use his profession as way of connected with the young people, he explains, ‘barbering is very important as it keeps you connected to what’s happening on the streets and it gives you direct access to the youth so you can talk to them a try and keep them focused on the positive aspects of life.’

COTR hosts a team of experienced barbers who can design anything from simple patterns, to a carving of a girlfriend or celebrity. ‘The company has been standing for 21 years but on a deeper level there are many minds and hearts both young and old that I’ve touched and changed. I’ve trained many barbers and now 8 of them work in a successful barber studio. I’ve cut three generations, the father, the son and the grandson; I think there all achievements in their own rights.’

He feels ‘sex education in school is good, but they need to start talking to the youth

on their wave length to be taken seriously. He asks, ‘how can teachers teach kids about sex, when the kids know more than they do? I never had sex education, I had to learn by myself and it was great because I had a beautiful daughter by the age of 16 then another girl 5 years later and I’ve been married to the same women for 28 years now and I’m happy. I planned both my children, so I have no regrets’, he says, yet he feels, ‘the more you tell young people about what they shouldn’t do, the more they’ll want to do it. But sex education is positive as some; if not all young people take it on board.’

Although Patrick isn’t aware of the local sexual health services available to young people he says ‘my services are always open and available to whomever needs them. I’m trying to schedule a barbering work shop for male and females.’

Which he hopes will educate

He feels that ‘barbers are very respected and young

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feature

She needs to think about her future not just for her sake but also for the young potential mothers watching her. young people about the basics of the trade as well as empower them in a position where they have the chance to enhance someone physically and emotionally.

He continues ‘barbering is not a dead end job you can take it as far as you want to and make as much money as you need in the trade.’ In the future we can expect a ‘Cut Above The Rest Barbering and hair dressing agency’ which he hopes will grant young people jobs in the trade he’s worked for nearly three decades in.

think about her future not just for her sake but also for the young potential mothers watching her. Nicki Minaj, she needs to be banished to a hot place called hell and Lil Wayne, every other word that comes out his mouth is nigger

He feels strongly about celebrities and public icons having a part to play in representing the right messages for young people, especially in terms of sex he says ‘Rihanna is a beautiful women, with a beautiful voice, but if you look deeper she is a very sad and lost individual that needs to keep her clothes on. She needs to

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which just drags black and white people further into no man’s land. If you think there’s nothing wrong with that word, then your brain can’t be working properly.’ www.cutabovetherest.co.uk

Ey e

W ith

education

A Vi ew

Eye With A View was founded in 2004, in Hackney East London to encourage, empower and develop the creative skills of young people in the borough.

By providing opportunities in motion picture and graphics, EWAV have equipped lone parents, unemployed, young offenders, refugees and other excluded minority groups with educational training, identifying them as the powerhouse of the local community.

Shine ALOUD caught up with Lola Atkins, director of EWAV to find out more.

‘A couple of years after working on numerous films, TV and indie projects, I came to the realisation that opportunities were scarce for those looking to enter the industry if you don’t know the right people,’ explains Lola, when asked why she initially started EWAV. She continues ‘if you’re not well connected it will take a long time, and may even prove impossible, to break into the media industry as a writer, producer or director.’

‘After producing, writing and directing a couple of films, one of which was successful and ended up at Cannes and the BFM International festival, I decided to set up my own company and do my own thing. I had a great script I had co-written and needed finance to produce it. But, at the time it was tough to raise UK finance. A friend told me that America was more open to new scripts, so I made a few calls and received a lot of positivity so I made plans to go to New York. I

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education remember going to New York in 2002, knocking on doors at almost every well-known film production house in the city. I literally asked producers to fund my film and they were all like “sorry, can’t help you.”

‘After that I felt a bit low and came back to England, unsure of what to do next. I was working on an indie production in an estate in Clapton, Hackney and while we were shooting a group of young guys were hanging about watching us. One of the guys, who looked about 16 years old, came up to me and asked how he can get involved in what we were doing as he was really interested. At that point I hadn’t a clue what advice to give as I knew that asking him to go to college was not going to happen, or suggesting he go to a film school would cost a lot of money, which I knew he could not afford.’

‘It was around that time I had my “a-ha moment.” From that day on I decided to venture away from trying to make films and create projects and activities that empower young people of disadvantaged backgrounds instead.’

‘EWAV Works started in 2004 and is now an award winning organisation that creates projects to empower young people who are facing social challenges. We develop engaging opportunities for 7-25 year olds using digital and new media platforms, such as animation and motion images production. The company has worked with thousands of young people over the past five years, including partnerships with schools and young offender institutions.’

‘Despite the fact we have been working with disadvantaged young people

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and that mentoring was always offered, I realised that something was missing. Young children who get caught up in these crimes were missing either someone or something. The moment we identify what that hole is, we can then fill it with the right materials, and then slowly, this can help to improve a young man or woman’s life.’

‘While delivering projects in YOIs and YOTs we realised this crisis will continue to grow and innocent kids will be killed until we fill the gap. With the ‘Invisible Path’ we are hoping to fill the gap and achieve that by focusing on the “hard to reach” young people.

Even if we can help just one person; it’s amazing how many others you will be helping indirectly.’

She explains her views on the messages the media represent about sex, ‘sadly the media has negatively affected the notions of sex and relationships, making young people believe sex should be done with many partners to show how popular and respected they are. I see this when we look at the likes of Jordan who displays women to be seen successful by the number of partners/husbands etc. and many more. Sex is no longer seen to be a beautiful relationship between two people who love each other, but a random encounter between two people who just happen to be in the mood. Relationships can’t be built on factors like this because relationships are multi-dimensional. If young people don’t get that right now we would have a worrying future generation of young people with growing STD/ HIV crisis and lack of relationships and commitments.’

‘When I was young I got my sex education from my mum, and peers. I wasn’t influenced in anyway by media. But

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education

sadly the media has negatively affected the notions of sex and relationships, making young people believe sex should be done with many partners to show how popular and respected they are nowadays ‘young people’s access to pornography and sexualised imagery has increased substantially ‘. Other new technologies, such as mobile phones, can also be used in negative ways, for example to send pornographic images or to bully peers. This has impacted the self-esteem of young girls and also making them more vulnerable, playing a pivotal part in the increased teenage pregnancy rates.

‘Over the years EWAV has been working with all disadvantaged young people through a variety of our projects. And one of the areas we have taken note of is the lack of self-esteem in young women, vulnerability displayed while talking about projects in relation to sexuality, and also the constant disappointment with the media due to the amount of sexualisation exposed to young people. There has been so much said about women being ‘victims’ of sexual harassment and rape, and there is a high teen pregnancy rate in the UK.’ ‘At the moment, young people are getting their primary source of information on sex and relationships via celebrities. I strongly believe that the celebrity culture has had a negative impact on youth on understanding sex and relationships. Every day we are bombarded with images and TV programmes glorifying shallow relationships, giving young people

a distorted view on relationships.

The only way we can change the direction of getting young people to understand the beauty in relationships and sex, is if the media change the way it feeds info to the youth, and parents take back parental control and stop relying on outsiders or government to raise their children.

At the moment I don’t think there is any innovative way of doing things, but to go back to basics.’

In the future Lola plans to expand EWAV nationwide, she explains ‘we’re not just focusing on London and Bristol, we are planning to branch out nationwide to reach other parts of the UK. We are also in the process of launching a couple of new projects in 2012, which will really make EWAV a force to reckon with. I’m excited about the plans we have in the pipeline so watch this space!’

‘We have recently started a private company EWAV Creative agency which is an enticing, one-stop bespoke advert/marketing boutique using no-glasses 3D screens and we do 2D content. Come to us to make the WOW happen for your brand. I’m really excited about this new company and the opportunities we would be creating with it.’

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Lola Atkins

debate

50% of students worry about falling pregnant at university Talkchoice - a website that aims to educate women about contraceptive choices - surveyed 2,988 women and found that nearly 1 in 3 women said they would have a termination if they fell pregnant during university, 761 would opt to have the baby and continue with their studies, whilst the remaining 27.8% were still unsure about what they would do.

Despite their concerns surrounding unplanned pregnancies, 9.2% of sexually active students say they are not using any form of contraception. Over one in three women questioned who were taking the pill - which is the most popular method of contraception for female students - yet 778 of them admit to forgetting to take it at least once in the course of a month.

‘The pill keeps me in control of my sex life; I only wish I’d remember to take in more often.’ Says Lisa Marshall of Northampton University, she continues ‘I’m not very sexually active which is why I don’t take the Pill as much, but it’s still very it’s important to stick to a solid form of contraception. The reality is condoms can split even before penetration if they aren’t handled correctly.

A lot of my friends are either on the pill or implant, the only difference is for the pill to be effective you actually have to take it whereas the implant is in your arm on a day to day basis.’

Choosing the right form of contraception is very important for a student, not only does it protect them against unwanted pregnancies, but it puts them in charge and control of their sex lives in such a crucial period of their lives. Yet ironically, 56% of students revealed that “Who to be friends with” and 52% said “Whether to stay in or go out the night before a morning lecture”, were among the most common decisions made by students.

Choosing the Nearly one in five blamed the right form of fact that they “regularly stay in different places and forget” contraception is to take their pills, while over a third said they were a “forvery important getful person” and nearly a quarter said they were “too busy” to take their contraceptive pill regularly.

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www.talkchoice.co.uk

education

Comparetheuni.com

Being a student in London has never been more difficult, with tuition fees priced at £9000, choosing the right course and institution is vital.

Comparetheuni.com was launched in November 2011

by Jason A Gibbs and Yash Bheeroo as a way of combating all apprehension caused by university choices.

Their innovative comparison site is aimed at prospective university students around the world who wish to study at a UK university. Shine ALOUD decided to speak to

comparetheuni.com

Jason about the business, the importance of sex education in institutions and the career paths available concerning sexual health in further education.

‘As recent graduates ourselves we were well aware of the problems that faced prospective university students’, explained Jason, speaking on

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behalf of his business partner, when asked why they decided to start the business, he continues, ‘researching universities was time consuming as well as difficult. Reason being, we had to order different prospectuses, visit various universities websites as well as visit other websites in order to view rankings and league tables. Thus the idea

education

for Comparetheuni was born through experience!’

‘We compile all of the information a prospective student would need onto one easy to use site, to make comparing universities easier and less time-consuming!’

By integrating, The Times and The Guardian League tables (The Times usually charge however, we have licensed the tables so can offer it to students completely free.) A complete A-Z course list for every university in the UK, A university profile for every institute (acting as a brief prospectus), A head to head system, profiles of people who have been to university and are now professionals, careers, interview and application advice and lastly, forums

designed to share the social side of university towns with prospective students.’

‘Compare the uni has benefitted many students in the UK and around the world by allowing them to research universities in one place!

This saves time and makes comparing universities a lot easier. Students can come on to one website and see every course available in the whole of the UK as well as entry requirements, course descriptions and more.’

‘One of our main unique selling points is our head to head system, this allows prospective university students to compare universities and courses side by side for Tuition fees, Average rent, Rankings, Employment rates, Male-female ratios and much more!’

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‘Our hidden gems forums, which we are currently developing, will enable prospective students to find out about the social side of their university town. Including places to eat, drink, party as well things to do and see!

Therefore, Comparetheuni will provide the full picture to students comparing universities!’

‘We are currently recruiting “Comparetheuni Student Ambassadors.” This is for students in year 11-13 or at college who will be responsible for representing and marketing Comparetheuni in their institute. This role will look great on a students CV and personal statement as a position of responsibility. If any students are interested they can register their interest at info@comparetheuni.com.’

education He feels ‘Sexual education is extremely important however, I feel that in schools as it is often an awkward topic.’

He continues ‘in schools, students do not take sexual education seriously and find it quite funny. This often means that teachers find it very awkward to teach and therefore, it is skipped over quite quickly. I feel that there is a negative stigma about the teaching of sexual education and that it definitely needs to be improved.’

‘Therefore, I would say that from personal experience there is perhaps not enough emphasis on the importance of sexual education and sexual health. Thus, many students lack knowledge on how to protect themselves and the risks they are faced with.’

‘I am aware of services such as the brook Brook who offer sexual health advice and services to young people. I believe that students should be made aware of their services and also that they should be made more accessible.

This could be done with the integration of workshops from the Brook at schools.

This could eliminate the awkwardness teachers may feel when teaching about sexual education and instead get professionals to offer advice and guidance.’

‘In an ideal world it would be great if the media or public figures illustrated relationships and sex in a

I feel that there is a negative stigma about the teaching of sexual education and that it definitely needs to be improved. positive light. However, it is neither their responsibility nor their job. The media only publicise news that sells and this is often on the other side of the spectrum with news relating to relationships in a negative light namely adultery, deception, divorce and drama!

‘Prior to going to university young people usually have many opportunities in retail in relation to part-time work.

However, now there are many school leaver programmes from leading employers such as KPMG and Deloitte, which offer young people the opportunity to start work straight after their A-levels!’

‘This year is going to be an important year for Compare the uni. We have a few developments underway in relation to the website which will make each students experience more tailored whilst we also have a lot of plans!’

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debate

We need a

‘Valentines is approaching, and unfortunately this is the one time of the year when it gets even harder to be happy that you’re single or to even say that you’re single’ says Annette Jack, Information volunteer at FPA. She speaks to Shine ALOUD about creating a new term for single ladies such as herself.

In my experience, being single is definitely worse for girls, especially around the most loving time of year, Valentine’s Day. People assume that a boyfriend is all a female wants and needs in life and pity us when we don’t have one.

Being single seems almost shame­ ful sometimes, almost like admitting that no one wants you. But why?

Just because you’re single, people shouldn’t feel sorry for you! Further­ more, why isn’t the same for guys?

There are plenty of females out there who are more than happy to be sin­ gle, especially if they’ve got their own stuff to do such as getting through their education or working. And if they’ve been around all the boys in their school, college or university they know they’ll have to wait another two years until they even start thinking about growing up.

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It’s so hard to say “I’m single” and for it to be looked at as a good thing. The real problem here is that we as women have no way to express it. When you look at the words to describe a single male, such as ‘bachelor’ illustrate an, attractive guy, with a nice house or flat, with loads of friends, living his life with multiple dates.

Research conducted by sociologists Richard Pitt and Elizabeth Borland sharpens the definition of bachelor to mean “men who live indepen­ dently, outside of their parents’ home and other institutional set­ tings, who are neither married nor cohabitating” for just this reason.

Yet on the other hand the female equivalent to a ‘bachelor’ is ‘spin­ ster’, which connotes an old, lownely, unwanted, woman. By

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debate

it is impossible for a female to say “I’m single it’s a good thing” in the English language and because there is no positive word for it definition a “spinster” is not simply a “single” woman, but a woman who has not found a partner by the time she is approaching or has reached menopause and the end of her reproductive lifespan.

Therefore for a female, being sin­ gle immediately sounds worst. “If someone is a spinster, by implication she is not eligible to marry; she has had her chance, and been passed by,” explains Robin Lakoff writer of Language and Woman’s Place.

“Hence, a girl of twenty cannot be properly called a spinster: she still has a chance to be married. Here It seems that a person marital status has more to do with child bearing that the reality of freedom of happiness which is often over looked, more so in the case of the female.

Therefore, it is impossible for a female to say “I’m single it’s a good thing” in the English language and because there is no positive word for it, it can’t be said simply with

the onslaught of pity or reoccur­ ring suggestion from friends to find you a mate.

All we have is that long sentence “I’m single but its ok because I’m out having fun and I don’t really want a boyfriend at the moment anyway” which always sounds fake no mat­ ter how much you honestly mean it.

Sometimes me and my friends are like “ we’re single!” before a night out, which is then accompanied with some cringey dance moves involv­ ing inappropriate thrusting to show we’re happy about it - which isn’t normally acceptable out of close friend circles.

So ladies, we need to think of a word. A word that can replace sin­ gle, and replace spinster, so we can say that we’re single without hav­ ing to give any justification or proof that we’re happy. For example, say we used the word ‘ching’. And if someone asked you if you have a boyfriend you could be like “no I’m

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debate

If a female is happy within herself, proud of who she is on her own, then she will enter into happier relationships where she is confident to share her views, speak her mind, and negotiate about sex so it only happens when she’s happy and ready for it. ching” which is basically like say­ ing “no I’m single loving life, totally chilled, doing my thing changing the world etc.” but summed up in one simple word.

Then when someone asks you can feel proud, not ashamed, to say you’re not with anyone, which could also be used to get rid of nasty guys chat­ ting you up in bars, essentially “no I don’t want a man I’m happy” - in one simple word. What’s important here is that this would empower females to feel happy and confident being single, instead of needing a man to justify their happiness.

If a female is happy within herself, proud of who she is on her own, then she will enter into happier relation­ ships where she is confident to share her views, speak her mind, and nego­ tiate about sex so it only happens when she’s happy and ready for it.

don’t like the thought of being ‘sin­ gle’. If the thought of being alone wasn’t so negative girls could be less dependent on guys and more able to negotiate what they’re ok with, and what they want, in sex and relationships.

Being able to say you’re ‘ching’ might also help those females who have one night stands - just to feel wanted - free them of the anxiety of being single

Here are Shine ALOUD’s Top 3 words suggested by our readers Wreedom Freedom specifically for women

Too many girls - including myself –give into the pressure of having sex because they’re scared their boyfriend will leave them, and they

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Perf Positive, Energetic, Romantic and Free

Bootyful Beautiful with brains, body and soul!

feature

reasons NOT to have SEX! Sex can be a pleasurable experience especially when shared between two people who really love or care about one another, and in the 21st Century – an era notorious for wide spread liberal attitudes towards sex and its evolutionary variations – having sex seems to be the norm.

The legal age for having sex in Britain is 16.

UK has the highest rate of teenage pregnancies in Europe.

Often teenagers feel pressured by friends to start having sex.

Never feel pressured to do anything you are not comfortable with.

However it isn’t the only way to show affection and if you thought or believe it was then you’re wrong! As good as it may feel and as widely as it is spoken and thought about, has anyone ever thought about NOT having sex?

Have you seen the papers recently?

Gossip and scandal are always linked to sex. Example? Bill. Clinton.

Rightly or wrongly sex is too closely linked to having a good or bad reputation.

Shine ALOUD spoke to journalist Funmi Olutoye who gives us her ‘25 Reason Not to Have Sex’.

Even the safest of contraception is not entirely reliable – Condoms are proven to be 97% effective.

DISCLAIMER: Some of these will genuinely put you off having sex!

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feature Women (and maybe men?) have you ever randomly cried after sex? Well…

Enough said!

Three of the main world religions are against sex before marriage and believe sexual intercourse is a sacred unifying act between a husband and wife.

Sex is always in the media.

But is it really as earth-shatter­ ing as some movies make out?

Human Papilloma Virus (HPV) which is the cause of cervical cancer and Genital Warts can not necessarily be prevented through condoms – it is contracted through skinto-skin contact on any part of the body.

In 2010, research showed that it costs 200,000 pounds to raise a child. As a young person can you afford that right now?

Sexual addiction is a real con­ dition. Russell Brand was a sufferer. Abstinence can provide you with the time to focus on school and your career.

If you saved it for marriage, can you imagine the buildup to your wedding night?

It would be the best night of your life!

In 2010 just under half a million new cases of s exually transmitted diseases were diagnosed.

Introducing sex to a relationship can bring complex feelings and complications if not dealt with maturely.

27% of people living with HIV in the UK don’t even know it.

Your self-esteem! There’s so much pressure on it already!

Talk less of having to think about being good in bed!

600 babies a day are aborted and 300 are put up for adoption.

Memories from past experiences could be beneficial but could also be negative for future relationships. Can anyone live up to THAT ex?

Chlamydia is a sexually transmitted infection, which can lead to Pelvic Inflammatory Disease, which can affect a woman’s fertility

The hassle of thinking about getting good contraception and regular sexual checkups.

In 2007, a survey revealed that alcohol-fuelled sex amongst 11% of young people was unprotected.

There is nothing wrong with being a virgin! In fact it is an asset because it’s so rare these days!

A child is for life not just until it talks or walks – be sure that you are ready to have one.

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Britain’s

first

‘Human sexuality is quite a complex thing and I think people get too hung-up about labels, straight, gay, bi…’ Says Britain’s first ‘It Boy’ Emmanuel Ray, who won the award for Fashion Icon of the Year at Fashions Finest Awards UK in 2011.

He started his career in 2009 as a fashion and entertainment commentator working with BAFTA award winning television producer and celebrity Shine Aloud

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feature

booker Simon Wilson, until 2010, covering events including London Fashion Week, Clothes Show Live, Ideal Home Show and Alternative Fashion Week.

Since then he has contributed on and offline to art exhibitions, showbiz parties, exclusive soiree’s and fashion shows, and has staked his place as one of the most active, supported and outspoken socialites.

Rianna RaymondWilliams caught up with Emmanuel Ray himself to find out more about how he feels the fashion industry has impacted on the way in which young people see sex and relationships as well as what innovations can be made to create a better picture.

Where did you receive your sexual health education from and how useful was it?

What we got in school was boring and teachers often seemed squeamish, so it was practically useless. We are talking about the Asian culture here, where it is still quite traditional and conservative.

I guess it’s the same in most countries and cultures. It is mainly because of the stigma attached to sex. Most of us knew about sex and had already started practising.

Sex fascinated me and I wanted to know everything about it, so I started exploring and experimenting during my early teens. We were warned about STDs at that age, which made me curious about sexual health, so by the time I got to my mid-teens, I already knew the “dos and “don’ts.”

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In your opinion how is sex represented in the fashion industry & would you say this has affected or affects young people?

Sex sells. People remember adverts and commercials that have a sexual element in them, and are drawn to it.

I don’t think young people are affected by it, mainly due to the boom in technology, the internet and porn. The freedom most young people have today means they are not as shocked or influenced by images of sex as the previ­ ous generations. In the 90s, people found it shocking when sex was used to pro­ mote products. Today, sex has been used so much, that it has become less of a novelty in advertising terms.

Sex will always be part of fashion, showbiz, media

feature and advertising. Whether it’s a sexy stiletto or red lips, perfect abs or a pert round butt, we are drawn to it.

We like seeing scantily clad bodies advertising products that are great or made to look great. I think it becomes a bit unhealthy when young people feel pressured to look like the sexy models they see in ad campaigns.

Do you know about the services and information giving to young people regarding sex and relationships (if so what are they) and how do you feel they can be made more accessible?

Services and information are freely available at various hospitals, the local GPs, walk in clinics, GUM clinics and also on the internet or phone. I recently met a teenage girl who told me in detail that “the patch” works for her and that she had tried multiple forms of contraception. She knew everything and seemed pretty well informed. Young people today can easily access services and information.

They just have to be open to it and not feel ashamed or embarrassed to ask questions.

TV programs like The Joy of Teen Sex are quite informative while being entertaining and fun at the same time.

Ironically, I see a lot of services and information on sexual health for gay people, but not

as much for straight people. I have worked with sex workers before and also with teenag­ ers. It is a bit worrying that a lot of teenagers and young people who classify them­ selves as “straight” seem to be lacking the knowledge - when it comes to sex and relation­ ships - that their gay and lesbian counterparts. Yet gay and lesbian teenagers some­ times find it difficult to access services and information at the beginning. Confusing, isn’t it?

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It’s a good thing that sex is being discussed more openly than before. Young people need realistic advice and information when it comes to relationships and sex.

Teachers can do a good job of course. But parents and older siblings can also help a young person or teenager get more advice and informa­ tion. Some find it easier to talk to a really cool aunt or uncle they trust, and are on friendly terms with.

feature As socialite or public figure do u feel you have a role to play in representing sex and relationships positively, do you think industry icons have a responsibility to do so generally?

To a certain extent, yes. But several relationships, numer­ ous flings, 2 failed marriages and a broken engagement later, I have either become an expert on sex and a complete screw-up on relationships! The next relationship I have has to be just right. I want to do it right and not screw-up again.

That would be horrible! Most of us have made mistakes.

Human sexuality is quite a complex thing and I think people get too hung-up about labels, straight, gay, bi etc.

‘Behavioural patterns of human beings, in relation­ ships, is another thing that fascinates me. We hurt the ones we love, lie and cheat, get into on-off relationships and very often cannot seem to make up our mind. We spend so much time look­ ing for the perfect man or women, and tend to forget to BE the perfect man or woman ourselves.

I do talking about sex and will be discussing relationships, love and romance in my latest column (special edition) Diary of an It Boy, and also in my press interviews and updates online and on air, in the new year. The special editions of the column are called ‘Last

You can’t just talk about boy-meets-girl anymore. The various shades of sexuality, gender issues and identity should also be addressed. All children in a classroom need to be made to feel equal. of the English Summer,” and “Naked on the Internet!” And I’ll be laying it all bare, liter­ ally! As for industry icons, very few of them speak openly about sex. I do think that celebrities and public figures have a responsibility towards being a positive role model for the younger generations.

But it all depends. One person may say sex before marriage or sleeping around is wrong.

But someone else - usually me - would say the more sex you have the better as it burns calories, releases endorphins and makes you happy!

it means people judge you as well. The stigma attached to sex has to be removed.

Do you think there is still a stigma or taboo attached to sex and relationships?

When nude photos from my modelling days appeared on the internet, I wasn’t really concerned. But when the X-rated ones started pop­ ping up- on various sites, event I was a bit worried.

But everyone who’s seen them and is direct enough to mention them to me, tell me how hot they are and my audience and fans seem to love it! I am more relaxed about it now. Although I am still having to do a lot of explaining to my Mum!

Of course. Religion, tradi­ tional beliefs and the idea of being the perfect gentleman or lady, is still upheld in sev­ eral parts of the world. People are shocked by sex. Anything graphic in film and television is censored. If I flick through a porn magazine in public, I get disapproving looks! Being sex­ ually active and honest about

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I guess that would be impos­ sible, but people need to be more open - pardon the pun - and laid back about sex! It’s a good thing that porn has entered Facebook. Every time I log in, I see X-rated videos in my feed. I guess the words “entered” and “feed” were inevitable here! More and more celebrities - including quite a number of famous men - which we never saw before are going nude for the sake of art, charity, film and TV.

feature Today, celebrities are photo­ graphing themselves nude and proudly showing it off on the internet. Now the average person would also toy with the same idea. In fact, I know people who don’t think twice about adding their naked pictures to hook-up sites and cruise endlessly for sex. Sexual habits that were exclusive to the gay community and therefore a very raunchy and animalistic male thing, is now seeping into mainstream culture.

to be tailored to suit the progress in society, people’s minds and attitudes. You can’t just talk about boy-meets-girl anymore. The various shades of sexuality, gender issues and identity should also be addressed. All children in a classroom need to be made to feel equal.

I often feel that gay and les­ bian kids (and those that are gender-confused) feel left out that nobody understands them.

Also, young men do not seem to

What innovations do you think could be made to raise sexual awareness amongst young people?

I think there are already enough innovations, informa­ tion, toys and technology to help raise awareness - in a very sexy way - among young people. Perhaps a subtle reminder about safe sex or contraception can accompany saucy adverts and commercials.

It needs to be subtle so it wouldn’t ruin the hotness of the product. Nobody wants to join a sex club, go to a swinger’s party or buy kinky toys if the labels had in-yourface reminders about STDs. If they do, people would have to ignore them, just like smokers ignore the pictures or horrible-looking lungs and hearts on cigarette packets!

Sex education in schools is a very good thing. But it needs

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receive the amount of informa­ tion, advice and support that young women receive.

There still seems to be that “boys can take care of them­ selves” or “boys don’t really need this sort of thing” attitude.

As a result, there are several young guys who don’t know much about sex, relationships, safe sex and related topics. This needs to change too.

Follow Emmanuel Ray on twitter @emmanuelray

feature

My sex clinic So the dreaded day has come where I have to go to the sexual health clinic against my will for a check-up.

Being a guy I believe in the saying “if it aint broken don’t fix it.” So if it isn’t rotting off or turning a different colour everything must be fine… Right?

It’s not that I don’t want to be healthy and in tip top condition, it’s just the wait in the clinic is mind numbing. Waiting to be called by a number and everyone in that room knows why you’re there, it’s like voluntarily airing your dirty laundry so to speak. When I get to the clinic I know that I’m going to be interrogated with questions that I don’t even know the answer to.

“How many sexual partners have you had in the last 6 months?” The person asking me is a normal everyday person right? But there is no way I am telling her how many girls I’ve been with in the last 6 months mainly because I don’t actually know, besides they might know my mum or something so I stick with a nice respectable number like 1 or 2.

Only god can judge me.

I suppose the wait isn’t THAT bad, well that’s a lie it’s boring as watching paint dry. No television and magazines from 2001 that have clearly seen some better days.

Surprisingly it’s ALWAYS busy no matter what time of the morning it is. It then crosses my mind that

I could never move to a girl in this place, it would be like setting myself up to fail and I am not looking to come back any time soon.

So I’ve filled in the form they gave me, scribbled down my name and address so it’s barely readable just in case they try and send anything to my house that my mum might happen to see. When my name is called out, I stand up to find everyone looking at me with judgemental eyes like they’re not there for the same reason. Still, it’s like the walk of shame.

I awkwardly walk into the doctor’s room and shut the door behind me and sit down to face the same interrogating questions. I don’t want them judging me as well but I’ve got

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feature

I never want to come back to this place. Its making me seriously consider safe sex. to play it cool be a bit of a lad. It’s done I need not say anymore. This not that I don’t want to practice safe is exactly why I don’t come to this sex, it’s just nowhere near as fun. place.

The doctor tells me to hop up on the table and pop my trousers and boxers down. He makes it sound so casual “hop up on the table and pop my trousers and boxers down” this guy has some mad game I’m wondering how he managed to ask me to get my piece out for him without saying it in so many words.

That’s when it hits me, why does this guy want to see my thing like?

Hasn’t he got one of his own to play with? Laying back on the table feeling somewhat exposed with my manhood hanging out it dawns on me I probably should have shaved.

I manage to reassure myself by deciding it doesn’t matter he must see pubes all day.

After having to go through more tests wee and needle it’s all over.

Relief creeps over me then he tells me I have to wait 2 weeks for the results. 2 weeks! 14 days!

336 hours! 20160 minutes! That’s 1209600 seconds of my young life waiting for results. I haven’t been this nervous since waiting for my A-Level results. Oh well at least I got some free condoms out of it.

I never want to come back to this place. Its making me seriously consider safe sex.

Then another thought pops in my head. What if I whack it out and he thinks it’s small or something? Should I think about J-Lo or Beyonce? How about Kim Kardashian? Too late, he’s seen it. Maybe I should explain that it gets bigger. No, I’m sure he’s aware of that.

While I was in my own world I hadn’t noticed him coming over to me with what can only be described as a super cotton bud. I’m looking at him thinking that better not be going where I think it is or its war.

Unfortunately it’s going exactly where I think it is and if you’ve had it

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services

Txtm8 is run by Living Well Youth Services which is a not for profit organisation that provides a range of sexual health services to help young people better manage their health and wellbeing.

Shine ALOUD caught up with Emily Mailes to find out more about the txtM8 Service and what it offers.

About txtm8... txtm8 is Living Well’s free and confidential sex and relationships text service for young people in Enfield, Kensington and Chelsea and Hammersmith and Fulham.

Young people can text any questions about sex or relationships to 89868 (which spells out ‘txtm8’ on a regular mobile keypad) and receive a free, confidential answer within 30 minutes from a trained advisor.

Take a look at some of the questions below which young people have asked and email us at: info@ txtm8.com if you would like to see your question published in the next edition of ‘Ask txtm8’.

Shine Aloud

Can I get pregnant if it is my first time?

Yes, you can get pregnant any time you have unprotected sex, even if it’s your first.

If you use contraception, such the birth control pill correctly then it’s unlikely you will get pregnant.

Condoms are the only type of contraception that helps protect against both sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and pregnancy.

If you’re planning to have a sexual relationship you can visit a local clinic or your GP to discuss and access contraception and ask any questions you have.

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services What is LARC and what does it stand for?

What age do boys go through puberty?

LARC stands for ‘Long Acting Reversible Contraception”. LARC methods of contraception don’t rely on you remembering to take them, so in some ways they are easier or more convenient than other methods of contraception.

Puberty is when your body starts to change from a child to an adult. For boys this can include deepening of voice, development of body hair and changes to the body’s shape and size. There is no set age for puberty to start but boys usually start puberty between 10 and 12 years old. It can happen earlier or later – everybody is different.

LARC methods include the intrauterine device (IUD), the intrauterine system (IUS), the contraceptive injection and the contraceptive implant.

These methods work anywhere from 3 months to 10 years depending on the method. LARC is available from your GP and sexual health clinics and it can be free of charge.

You can visit txtm8.com/larc for more information

You can visit nhs.uk/Conditions/Puberty/ for more information txtm8 is currently funded in Enfield, Kensington and Chelsea and Hammersmith and Fulham. If you are interested in finding out more about this service or how you could commission it for young people in your area then please contact Emily or Simon at Living Well – info@txtm8.com and visit www.txtm8.com.

For more information, take a look at www.Livingwellcic.com

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gallery

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#YOL YOLO#YO Next Issue:

Look out for the summer edition of Shine ALOUD, bring all the best in fashion, music and lifestyle but of course related to sexual health.

We wouldn’t have it any other way.

#YOL #YO YOLO#YO Shine ALOUD – Sex & Relationships with a different tone.

LO#YOLO “YOLO” OLO#YOLO #YOLO#YOLO#YOLO #YOLO#Y LO#YOLO OLO#YOLO OLO#YOLO #YOLO#YOLO#YOLO #YOLO#Y debate

He was good!!!

This crap has been clogging up my Facebook news feed for the longest while and I never knew until shamefully recently that it stood for ‘You Only Live Once’. This phrase has been known since the beginning of time before it adopted this groovy abbreviation pioneered by Drake. But what is disturbing me is that ‘YOLO’ is being used to justify sheer stupidity.

He taught me stuff for next time

It was a sexy and risqué experience that was fun for the moment

in our generation have no potentially positive or valuable outcomes for the long term – it’s either momentary amusement or an excuse for when we can’t be bothered.

Looking beyond ‘YOLO’ and the examples I gave, the bigger picture that applies to all of our lives is making worthy, sensible choices that we know we will reap the benefits that we truly desire from like love, happiness, success and wealth, need to become paramount.

#YOLO#YOLO#YOLO

Missing coursework deadlines, drinking dangerous amounts of alcohol, skipping work and one night stands; it seems our conception of life has reached abysmal lows. I think the concept of making tangible sacrifices in order to reap what we would all agree entail real satisfaction, comfort, joy and relaxation has escaped a lot of our consciouses.

Put simply, our conception of life and what we believe to be worth experiencing are things of little to no value. Take having a one night stand, the only thing in the above list that might entail any degree of self-gain, satisfaction or achievement. You sleep with a guy you have just met...YOLO. What could be a potentially positive outcome of that?

I’ve thought of three things I’d imagine someone would/ could gain. I won’t bother with disadvantages of that situation instead lets go on to a contrasting scenario number 2. Imagine someone on your Facebook or Twitter wrote: “Doing an all-nighter tonight for this coursework due on Monday 1st’s all round!! #YOLO. Does that not even LOOK weird?!

– usually it is the opposite (i.e.

“Bun this coursework – a 2:2 will do! #YOLO). But doesn’t the first one make more sense?

Just like having a one night stand, staying up all night has disadvantages and consequences: You’re ridiculously tired

Might miss the next day’s lectures/classes/shift No sleep = looking like a dead-ting

What I’m trying to get at is this risk taking and these sacrifices that are trending

I’m not promoting being a priest or a granny, but I am promoting being wise and intelligent – it is 100 times more fun and worthwhile fulfilling your dreams and ambitions that a drunken one night stand and a 3rd class degree!

There is nothing wrong with striving for a perfect life – YOLO, init

it’s either momentary amusement or an excuse for when we can’t be bothered

#YOLO#YOLO#YOL Shine Aloud

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services

A day

in the life of a Have you heard about Chlamydia?

Would you like to take a test?

These are usually the first couple of sentences that leave the mouth of Anna Sungale and Florence Alake on a day to day basis as they test young Londoners for Chlamydia and Gonorrhoea as Screening Assistants for THT East London.

Shine ALOUD caught up with them to find out more about their best approaches to young people, their roles as CSA’s and what they think about Sex Education.

Sex education is vital, without it we would be nowhere.

Anna Sungale Chlamydia Screening Assistant Newham ‘CSA’s are the key to sexual health because not only do we screen but we help educate young people about safer sex.

The best tactic is to be friendly, relate to young peo­ ple on their level and most importantly never to judge them. On some occasions the young people we come in contact may disclose some personal information to us about the relationships they have had or are currently it, so it’s important for us to not disclose this confidentially but also operate within the rules and regulations of child protection.

Sex education is vital, without it we would be nowhere. Sex

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education should be teaching the importance of positive relationships, safe sex which educates young people how to use contraception correctly.

Without all this information young people are unable to make the right decisions.’

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once we explain what the test is and how we do it and the risks of having unprotected sex, they usually relax and end up taking the test.

Florence Alake Chlamydia Screening Assistant Newham ‘As a CSA we are going out on the streets ,in clubs, col­ leges and youth clubs to get screens to lessen the risk of STI’s amongst young people.

The message we portray is that it’s perfectly normal to take a test and interest in your sexual health.

relationship is between two people that includes sex, but doesn’t dominate it. My expe­ rience in school wasn’t much I don’t feel that I was provided with much info.

Considering how much more I know now, I could have used it back then. Services need to be made more acces­ sible to young people and they need to be taught about

The best tactic for approach­ ing young people is to be relaxed, friendly and confi­ dent, to making the young person feel more comfortable and relaxed to do the test.

Young people think it’s a bit strange to randomly be asked ‘do you want to take a chlamydia test’ but once we explain what the test is and how we do it and the risks of having unprotected sex, they usually relax and end up tak­ ing the test.

‘Sex education in school is important but so is relation­ ship education. It’s all well and good having informa­ tion on sex, but what about explaining what a healthy

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sex and relationship a lot more in schools.

I remember my first week of working with THT, someone asked can they get pregnant from swallowing someone’s sperm i answered no, but you must bear in mind I was 18 at the time and the person ask­ ing was 23. It just shows the lack of information people have about sex.

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What Happened

Last Night

Jordan Williams is a Graphic Designer, Freelance Photographer and Youth Worker from East London who has recently launched his own photography company WhatHappenLast. com which aims to capture the memories and experiences of social events.

His experience in both media and youth work have alerted him if the issues young people are affected by in relation to sex, from the messages portrayed by the media to the effects these have on young people, especially in an era where popular culture reflects the style, ideas and aspiration of today’s youth.

Shine ALOUD speaks to Jordan to find out more about his business, ways to creative better representation of sex to young people as well as the services offered to them.

‘What Happened Last Night, is a media coverage brand in the Party and Events industry. Our target audience are students and young people and we offer them all things related to having a good time.’

‘I started my business because - as a student and a consumer

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events - I felt like there wasn’t much transparency in the events industry. I’ve worked in the industry for some time now and I’ve noticed that there wasn’t a place as a consumer that I could go to that showed how much choice there is out there for us, I found that I and my friends would wonder somewhere like Leicester Square hoping to get our monies worth.’

‘In today’s economic climate we can’t afford to just spend money and hope for the best’ Jordan explains when asked why his company is important and what messages it displays, he continues ‘I’d like to be sure of where I’m going before I leave my house. As far as messages go I suppose overall I’d like to convey how far a student initiative can go and that if young people can’t find work we will make work.’

‘I think young peoples’ attraction to the party scene and photography has a great deal to do with the explosion of social networks into our lives.

I think that as young people it’s important we feel young and have fun, and I think photography is the best way to create those memories.’

‘My views on Sex-Ed are that in this day and age its genuinely a defence, kind of like taking a vaccine, you accept a smaller problem in hope it solves a much larger problem. Like it or hate it people should realise that us and Sex-Ed have common causes.’

My views on Sex-Ed are that in this day and age its genuinely a defence, kind of like taking a vaccine Shine Aloud

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‘I know of sexual counselling and free contraception, but I think a magazine like shine aloud is just what young peo­ ple need to inform them. I think we all have a duty but celebrities and public icons have a larger responsibility to deliver positive messages.

However if as a society we made it more of a public interest our stars would fol­ low suit.’

‘You can expect to see a lot more of us; we have a pho­ tography project we are running at The Mix Youth Club in Newham in which we teach young people photogra­ phy to go towards a Duke of Edinburgh Award.’

‘I’d say that WHLN represents the young party goer that’s looking for a good a time, so who better to ask than other party goers?’

whathappenedlastnight.me.uk

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To Strap or not to Strap?

It’s a Friday night my girlfriend and I are out. We head to the local cinema to watch a film and of course, I pick the scariest.

So whilst all the ghost and ghouls are jump­ ing out from the big screen, I hold her and reassure her, ‘Baby don’t be scared’ – as she clutches my arm for dear life. I hold her tight,

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because I know, she knows, in my arms she’s safe. A few people die, a house burns down, the police come to the crime scene, the villain’s arrested, film done.

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feature We walk over to the local Chinese restaurant and we share a meal whilst conversating over a bottle of Rose’, she tells me about her day and I tell her about mine, a few hours pass, our plates are empty and so are our glasses, we begin to leave.

call it, going raw, bareback, without a glove, Jimmy or Johnny, the reality is it’s unprotected.

If you’ve both been tested and are comfort­ able to have unprotected sex that’s fine, but if not you better make your way to the clinic.

Statistics show that 11% of young people engage in unprotected sex when under the influence of alcohol, in addition to one in two people having unprotected sex at least once during their sexually active lives. Having unprotected sex can not only make you recep­ tive to pregnancy and STI’s but mainly STRESS!

Leaving the restaurant; I know she wants what I want. We’ve been flirting away with each other all night and on top of that, none of us have work in the morning. We walk to the local cab station where she agrees for us to book a cab straight back to mine. ‘22 Riverdale Road, 5mins’.

Be sure, be protected!

We continue to talk and cuddle in the cab, then we reach our destination. I pay the driver; we exit the cab and walk towards my porch where I search for my keys. I open the door and enter, she follows behind me, but as I turn around to shut the door, she begins to kiss me softly, like a pro I multitask and manage to latch the door behind us, she continues to kiss me even more passionately gliding her tongue in and out of my mouth. I feel her hands reach up to my shoulders to slowly remove my jacket; I hold her waist and move towards the stairs where we begin to walk towards my bedroom.

We can barely keep our hands off each other; I turn my door handle the door opens, she pushes past me and begins to undress, in my head I’m thinking ‘hell yeah, it’s going down tonight’ , and from the look in her eye I know she’s thinking the same. She pulls me on to the bed and positions herself on top of me, she lifts my t shirt over my head and removes my jeans, there in our undies we both wait to see who make the first move.

If you’ve both been tested and are comfortable to have unprotected sex that’s fine, but if not you better make your way to the clinic.

‘Do you have a condom?’ we both ask.

With that said, my night ended before it’s even started.

Wearing a condom in a relationship can be one of the many things that make or break you and your partner. Whatever you may

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