She Stories Feature Friday - Leilani Bowers

MAR 2023 | ISSUE NO.11

SHE STORIES

EXCLUSIVE!

About She Stories She Stories is a community of women that promotes self wellness, empowerment and the value of supporting each other. You have overcome tremendous obstacles.

Telling your story brings healing for you and others.

There is empowerment in every story. We are Real Women with Real Stories. What started out as a storytelling night has transformed into a sisterhood.

From gatherings to giving back, we inspire and affirm the every day woman that she is brave and beautiful..

Our Founder In 2017, I decided to carry on the tradition of testimony service and share this amazing gift of storytelling from my elders to my tribe. I provided a sacred space for women to share their challenges and victories so they can not only be empowered but through each story women would find a circle of support and empowerment. Her story matters and the world needs to hear it. Ehmandah Ramsey

She Stories has always been about women sharing their stories through storytelling. (Yeah, that’s me with a box of tissue) We believe there’s healing that happens when we share our stories. We all have one!

By sharing our stories, we prove that it’s possible to shift change through another woman’s journey, struggles, and triumphs.

Elevating women of all ages is powerful.

Compassion and love speaks volumes.

And when they’re combined among a community of bosses, we ALL thrive!

XO,

Leilani

FEATURE FRIDAY Here we are, on our favorite day of the week! This week’s feature is a little different, as I’ll be reintroducing myself!

You would think writing about yourself would be easy. But I’ve written, re-written, and written again a feature that will hopefully translate a message to the reader that it’s never too late to start over.

One thing about the women I’ve featured, they’re all extremely resilient. And even though that’s not usually the first word that comes to mind when I think of myself, I will admit that I’ve overcome things that I was certain would break me.

Healing comes when we share our stories. And this week, I bring you mine….

FEATURE FRIDAY

LEILANI BOWERS

Every week, I get to share the story of a woman who’s crushing goals, thriving, and bringing others along with her. We learn of the different struggles and successes that helped mold her.

Sometimes the traumas that are revealed are hard, but there’s a story of healing behind every feature I’ve written. This week, I bring you my story.

I’m a Southern Cali native, born and raised. Growing up without my father, I was very close to my mom and in many ways, she was my entire foundation of love in the home. She made sure I knew from a young age that I was loved unconditionally, and what that meant. And even as I got older, the bond we shared was unmatched. However, the void left by my father was one she couldn’t fill.

By the age of 9, I was being sexually abused by a family member and when I told my mom a couple of years later, he was arrested. Growing up, I was able to make friends easily and used my sense of humor to cover whatever pain I was feeling on the inside. This is also when I found my love for reading. I would spend hours at the library reading fiction novels because it provided an escape from my reality. Eventually, they let me volunteer after school and this became a safe haven for me.

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“I did exactly what I was taught to do, FIGHT BACK!” At 19, I married my high school sweetheart and we moved to Illinois. It didn’t take too long before things became physically abusive, but I did exactly what I was taught to do, FIGHT BACK! But I knew that I couldn’t spend the rest of my life fighting in my household with the very person I trusted with my life. And at 21, I packed whatever I could fit into a suitcase and moved out. At that time, I was certain I had hit rock bottom, but it’s what I had to do to get out of where I was at.

It would be another 2 years before I’d move back to Cali, but I was happy to be back around the love and support I desperately needed. I began working for a company that provided treatment and rehabilitation for female parolees and I got to meet women who had gone through the same things I had. But I was able to see that change is possible. Many of these women had lost their kids to the system. They had a long history of substance abuse and a colorful criminal record. I got to witness these women completely turn their own lives around and get back on their feet. I couldn’t be more inspired.

I eventually married again and at 30, I had my first child. My life was finally “on track”, or so I thought. There have been a few defining moments, but the one that humbled me the most was realizing that I couldn’t change anybody, even if it was intended with love. Once again, I found myself trying to change my partner into what I needed him to be, but this time it was different, I had kids! It was in 2019 when I finally accepted the fact that the only thing I could change was my circumstance, so I filed for divorce and moved me and the girls to Arizona.

I don’t think I ever had a real appreciation for single moms until I was one. Having to learn how to juggle everything at once has not only tested my sanity, it’s tested my faith. But with the love and support from friends and family, I know this is exactly where God wants me to be.

The healing process can be slow, but I’ve grown to learn that it’s more beneficial to change things about myself that I don’t like, rather than change anybody else. This has also forced me into a space where I have to learn to love myself again, unconditionally. I’ve had to learn how to allow myself the same grace I extend for others. But most of all, I’ve had to demonstrate what that looks like for my girls.

My healing is still a current journey, but I know that I’m not alone. I’m able to lean into my support when I need to, which allows me to be the added support that someone else may need.

Practicing gratitude has been a major part of my healing as well. Learning to be intentionally grateful for everything around me makes it possible for me to appreciate sisterhood and community so much more. I’m reminded that even as an adult, loving someone else comes second to loving myself and that change should always start with me.

“LEARNING TO BE INTENTIONALLY GRATEFUL FOR EVERYTHING AROUND ME MAKES IT POSSIBLE FOR ME TO APPRECIATE SISTERHOOD AND COMMUNITY SO MUCH MORE. ” — LEILANI BOWERS

You can check Leilani out on IG: @shestoriesphx Self Care Isn’t Selfish is a free event to promote wellness and build community: Register HERE!

If you or someone you know would like to be a feature, let us know!

Her Shine MY FAVORITE SONG:

”To Be Loved” by Adele HOW I CULTIVATE SISTERHOOD:

Staying connected and checking in on my village.

MY LEGACY:

To live a life that holds no regrets.

MY INSPO:

Without a doubt, my kids.

Why Is It So Hard to Step Outside Your Comfort Zone?

Stepping out of your comfort zone is undoubtedly challenging. It involves taking risks and facing uncertainty, which can be overwhelming and intimidating. However, it is also an essential part of personal growth and development. When we push ourselves beyond our limits, we have the opportunity to discover our true potential and unlock new possibilities.

The first step in stepping out of your comfort zone is to identify what makes you feel safe and secure. Once you understand your comfort zone, you can begin to explore the boundaries of it. This can involve trying new things, taking on challenges, or setting goals that are slightly outside of your reach.

It is important to remember that stepping out of your comfort zone doesn't have to be a big leap. Small steps can still make a significant difference in your life. The key is to start with something that is slightly uncomfortable and gradually build up from there.

One way to make stepping out of your comfort zone easier is to focus on the benefits rather than the risks. Think about how you will feel once you have accomplished your goal or tried something new. Visualize yourself succeeding and feeling proud of your accomplishment.

Finally, don't be afraid to ask for support from others. Surround yourself with people who encourage and inspire you. Their support can provide the motivation and confidence you need to take that first step.

Especially in the healing process, tepping out of your comfort zone is challenging but essential for personal growth and development. By identifying your comfort zone, taking small steps, focusing on the benefits, and seeking support from others, you can overcome your fears and unlock new possibilities.

It's true that leaving your comfort zone can be challenging, but it's also a great way to grow and learn new things.

OUR SISTER ORG Transitional Living for Women and Children

Home Together We Are One home provides a safe, tranquil, structured sober living sisterhood atmosphere for the women and children to thrive.

We serve women that have become displaced or who are facing homelessness due to unfortunate circumstances such as divorce, health problems, loss of employment, addiction recovery, abandonment and other unexpected life circumstances.

Together we are providing a safe space for women to go from surfing to thriving.

If you and your child are in transition and in need, contact TWAO.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE. YOUR MENTAL HEALTH MATTERS MORE THAN EVER. IF YOU NEED CARE, PLEASE GET SUPPORT.

NAMI | National Alliance of Mental Illness Call the NAMI Helpline at 800-950-6264 M-F, 10 a.m. – 8 p.m., ET Or in a crisis, text "NAMI" to 741741 for 24/7, confidential, free crisis counseling. https://www.nami.org/Home If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States.

Suicide & Crisis Lifeline The Lifeline is available for everyone, is free, and confidential.

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline Text 988 CHAT WITH LIFELINE Línea de Prevención del Suicidio y Crisis 1-888-628-9454 National Domestic Violence Hotline 24/7 Call 800-799-7233 Text “START” to 88788 www.thehotline.org 211 | Essential Community Services Call 211 211 connects you to expert, caring help. Every call is completely confidential.

BE A FEATURE

We absolutely love sharing the stories of everyday women just like you! Every woman has a story to tell!

In our community, we share our stories to uplift, inspire and empower women. Stories can be shared one on one, through social media and even through creativity.

Girl, we want you to know there’s healing power in sharing your story. Sometimes you may feel that there’s things only you could’ve experienced, until you hear someone else with a similar experience. You are not alone. Together we overcome.

Would you like to be a feature? Or do you know a woman who’d like to share her story at a live event?

Let us know! Let's change the world together one story at a time. It’s pretty empowering!

Email: team@shestories.co www.shestories.co