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August 2015

Because It’s Never Too Late!

It’s An Awesome Feeling When God Sends His Angels To Watch Over You. He Will Not Allow Anything Or Anyone To Have Dominion Over Your Life. It’s Better Than Allstate! Its Jesus State! Try Jesus! Smile By Darlene Thompson Happy Mother’s Day!

God Is Able To Do Just What He Said He Would Do. The Scripture Above Says That He Is Able To Do Above What We Could Ever Imagine. Greetings Everyone! I come to you with so much joy and excitement in my heart. WE MADE IT!! Yes we made it another year. When I started in 2011, never in my wildest dreams did I think it would go this far. We say it with our mouths, but in our hearts we wonder if it’s going to make it to the next year. Here we are‌ Sarah magazine is four years old! We missed some months but we made up for time lost with every issue that came out. The stories were so intriguing, our cover story people were not afraid of being

transparent; they put their lives out there for you to read.

Triumph And Tragedy This past year was filled with some triumphs and tragedies. God has opened doors for this magazine that I never thought would happen. Like the scripture says; He is able to do above what we could ever imagine! Get ready people, Sarah is in hands and places you never thought this little magazine would go. I could tell you more, but just watch and see this upcoming year is going to be great! Every year I have a moment that I feel like giving up and letting this magazine go. BUT GOD, always gives me a reason to keep going.

Have you ever been in a place where you don’t know what to do? That was me this past year. As you all know my mom passed away in December 2014. The last time I saw her was in August I drove to California to surprise her and we celebrated our birthdays together. Our birthdays are five days apart. She told me how proud of me she was, and that she always called me her smiling/happy child. I wondered why she was saying all these things to me while I was there, she knew that would be the last time she would see me. Two days after Christmas she was gone. People that was the darkest time in my life!! In the midst of losing my mom, I was dealing with some medical and personal issues of my own. Because I smile all the time, people tend to think that I’m ok, this past year I didn’t think I could go on with the magazine or anything else! I had to step away from everything and really seek God. My eyes have really been opened, I know what to do and what not to do now. There are going to be some big changes

made with this magazine as well as in my life.

Why Are The Stories So Long? This question has been asked to me several times. It has been suggested that I change how long the stories should be. When God gave me the vision for Sarah, the purpose was to minister to people. As I pondered on changing things, I was reminded of the vision God gave me. I want you to understand that this is not your regular magazine, it’s a ministry. Yes the stories are long, and I thought about making them shorter, but others have sent emails and called to tell me that the stories have helped them in so many ways. These stories are to let you know that you are not alone in your struggles and that there is hope. Some people may not have the money or time to write a full book, but they have a testimony that they want to share with the world, that’s when Sarah magazine steps in and gives them that platform to share with the world. The stories are not meant to read all in one

day, take your time and just enjoy reading these powerful testimonies. I guarantee you will enjoy and be encouraged by the many stories and articles. Sarah is also a platform for those with new businesses and ministries. I tried to make it more like Ebony, Essence and Oprah magazine, but that’s not what God wanted me to do. I must stick to the vision He gave. We are that launching pad for those who may not have a lot of money for advertising. With that being said, please don’t take us for granted, and think that we don’t need a little something for our hard work. This is not an easy job, but when I know I have touched lives with this magazine, then it’s worth all the hard work. If this is your first time reading this magazine and you are wondering why it’s called Sarah. Here’s the short of a long story; The magazine is named after Sarah in the bible( read the book of Genesis chapter 18). She had a baby at ninety years old, when she thought it was too late, God showed her that it’s never too late.

This magazine reminds you that no matter what age you are, IT’S NEVER TOO LATE to achieve your goals and your dreams. If you want the full of the story, contact me and I will share my testimony with you as to how all of this came about. Our Anniversary Issue has a powerful story of a Woman Of God that has laid everything out there about her life. Why? Because she wants to let you know that no matter what we go through God never gives up on us. Please take your time and read this powerful story. Yes she shares the same first name as I do  and she is on fire for God! We didn’t put a lot of articles in this month; we decided to take you down memory lane to see all the issues that were published this past year. We even have people that sent in words of encouragement. In Closing, or should I say last but definitely not least. I would like to give a special thank you to my Spiritual Sister, Dear Friend, Right Hand Helper,

Antwan Beaden-Leach. I could not have done this without your help. We have stayed up so many late nights putting this magazine together. If only people knew how hard we work every month they would pass out in exhaustion just listening to how hard we labor until the wee hours of the morning.  You have stuck with me all these years and I thank you so much! If I haven’t said it before, tell my brother your husband Earl, thank you so much for being so patient and understanding when you have to put in a late night with me so that the magazine will launch on time. Love you my brother! Once again, THANK YOU MY SISTER! Love you so much!

For those of you who have stuck with us the last four years, THANK YOU SO MUCH! Look how far we’ve come and we will continue until God says different. Love you! We are headed for another year! Hope you enjoy our Anniversary Issue. God bless

Minister Sheree Carradine Creator/Chief Editor HMAGAZINE ne?fref=ts

Contents 18. DSIGNS DIGITAL ART- by Gerald Smith Jr. 3. MORNING INSPIRATION- Darlene Thompson 8. WELCOME 10. ENCOURAGEMENT – Antwan Beaden-Leach 20. HAVING FAITH IN HIM – Calvinia Williams 24. A WALK DOWN MEMORY LANE/


11. STOP RAPE APP- By Charles Campbell 12. NEW BOOK RELEASE – Calvinia Williams 18. CLOSING THE BOOKS LLC- Lozelle Mathai 22. BOOKS BY TEIRRAH McNAIR

14. DADDY’S LITTLE GIRLS- Victoria Only 19. HARVEST FEST- Sunshine Ministries Inc. 65. HOW TO PUBLISH IN FOUR EASY STEPS – Sheree Carradine

30. COOKING WITH J.C.- Jeannette Carradine Crenshaw

Our Featured Story 37. SET FREE BY THE POWER OF LOVE- Sherie Standifer

18. MELVIRA’S HAIR STUDIO -With Dianna Urfavstylist 17. BRIGANDIS MODEL – Mikayla Tyann 18. HAIR &MAKE UP- Brigandis Inc.

64. The Joy And The Pain- By Sheree Carradine 68. R.I.P MOM

To my dearest friend, Min Sheree Carradine These past few years, working with you on SARAH Magazine has brought it’s share of joy, as well as tears. With your leadership, we have ministered to many, many people, with the articles that we have shared. Each article showed the struggle, test, and testimony of how God brought people out of each of their various situations. What a blessing to know that there are people out there that are willing to share their stories that they might help someone who is walking on that very same road! But behind the scenes, our readers don’t see the struggle that you endure. To produce the beautiful issue they see, you send out emails to solicit input from our readership; followup with all of the writers, to include the featured story; make sure that the pictures are magazine ready; layout the magazine pages; and suffer through equipment malfunctions, to name a few of your duties. With a great deal of prayer and faith, you provide to the reader an issue they enjoy, whether they let you know they enjoy it or not. What our readers also don’t realize is that we produce this magazine using our own funds. You wanted to make things easier for people or organizations that are starting out by not requiring expensive advertising costs, but donations based on what can be afforded. What has happened is that people get their story told or their product or service advertised and don’t provide a donation or even buy a magazine! Our magazine is brought to the reader at great sacrifice to you! Now, I understand that a ministry has its ups and downs, rewards and sacrifices. SARAH Magazine is that and more! God brought our talents together to produce SARAH. With everything that has happened, we have NEVER lost sight of that! So, on this anniversary, I would like to say that through good times and bad; through times of plenty and times that are lean; we will carry out the mission that God has placed before us! You, my sista’ are the epitome of strength and faith. I am proud to call you my EditorIn-Chief and my dear friend! I love you!

Deacon Antwan Beaden-Leach SARAH Magazine Editor, Graphic Artist All-Around-Go-To-Guy!

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J.C.’s SUMMER SALAD With Buffalo Wings And Texas Toast

j.c.’s Summer salad 1bunch Of Kale 1 Large. Ice Berg Lettuce 1 Romaine Lettuce 1 Red Onion 1 Basket Of Cherry Tomatoes 1 ½ lbs. Fresh Baby Shrimp 1 ½ lb. Bleu Cheese 2 Firm Avocados Chop Your Kale, Lettuce, And Onion, Place In A Large Bowl. Add In Your Cherry Tomatoes And Baby Shrimp. Dice Your Avocados. Crumble Your Bleu Cheese Add It In. Toss All Ingredients Together. Cover And Chill Until Ready To Eat. Top With Bleu Cheese Salad Dressing. Buffalo Wings And Texas Toast Make Or Purchase Some Buffalo Wings (Approx. 20) To Go With Your Salad. When You Are Ready To Serve Your Salad, Arrange The Wings Around The Salad For A Inviting Look. Purchase Or Make Some Texas Toast To Go With Your Meal. For A Refreshing Drink With This Meal, Serve Sweet Tea With Lemon.

Simple dessert with peaches Purchase A Yellow Pound Cake 2 lg. Cans Of Peaches 1tsp Vanilla Flavor 1tsp Cinnamon 1tsp Real Butter ½ Cup Of Sugar Drain Half Of The Juice In The Cans Of Peaches. Pour Peaches With Remaining Juice In A Medium Sized Pot. Add In Cinnamon, Butter, Vanilla And Sugar. Cook Over Medium Heat Until The Mixture Has A Syrup Like Consistency. You Can Serve This Nice And Hot Over Your Pound Cake. Top With Vanilla Ice Cream And Or Whip Cream.

This Whole Meal Is Simple But Yet Satisfying And So Good!

Continued on next page

Pictures shown are not the actual recipe

CONNECT WITH J.C. ON FACEBOOK Jeannette Carradine Crenshaw- J.C. +4

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Shout to the Lord for everlasting peace and joy. The time you spend on facebook can be the time for our Lord and Savior. Get to know Him, He speaks through the heart. How many of you really know Him, really trust Him, really have faith in Him? According to the Psalm 23 New International Version (NIV) We are to appreciate what God has given you as He comforts us even unto death God will be with us. The Psalms tells us about prosperity, spiritually and mentally. Our shadow of death is knowing that you can walk right through death because the Lord will be with you. Remember in the 3rd Chapter of Daniel three young men were thrown into the fire for failing to worship the Kings pagan Gods. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego they did not know if they would burn up in the flames. They stood before Nebuchadnezzar, they didn't know with certainty that God would deliver them. There response to the King "Whether God rescues me or not, I will stand for Him. I will not compromise my faith, and I will not deny my Lord." What an impact of courage, trust and belief in God. I ask again do you have

burning faith? Our walk with God should not be just on Sundays or Saturdays this is continuously.

Psalm 23 A Psalm Of David. 1 The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. 2 He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, 3 He refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for His name’s sake. 4 Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. 5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. 6 Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Time is running out, our life is only a mist in the eyes of God. Let’s make a change for the better. Most recently my best friend’s mother passed, I

reflected on my parents death. The emptiness and the loneliness of the loss of a loved can be heart-breaking. 1 Corinthians 15:50-58 New International Version (NIV) 50 I declare to you, brothers and sisters, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God, nor does the perishable inherit the imperishable. 51 Listen, I tell you a mystery: We will not all sleep, but we will all be changed— 52 In a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed. 53 For the perishable must clothe itself with the imperishable and the mortal with immortality. 54 When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: “Death has been swallowed up in victory.” 55 “Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death is your sting?” 56 The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. 57 But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. 58 Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to

the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain. But the victory on earth is everlasting life through our Lord Jesus Christ for He died to give me life. If anyone of you passed today are you ready to meet Christ? Can you say 'I made a difference? I was a solider marching in the army of the Lord I have the Helmet of Salvation, Shield of Faith Belt of Truth, Prayer and Supplication, Sword of the Spirit, Breastplate of Righteousness and the Sandals of Peace. May God Bring You Peace.

Dr. Calvinia Williams,D.D. Lupus of Nevada, Inc.

BOOKS BY TEIRRAH MCNAIR What do you do if you’ve been looking for a job for two years and haven’t had much success? What do you do when money is running low and you barely have enough gasoline to get to the next job interview? Well, you don’t lose hope and you keep trying, of course. Tiny Lafayette is about to go to her 78th interview, and is ready to start work right away. She is confident, professional, and well prepared, so what could possibly go wrong? After all, she was once a rising Silicon Valley executive, so she has all the experience an employer could require. However, her hopes are crushed when she gets there and is informed that the position she was applying for was filled the night before.

“March Madness Revisited Again” by Teirrah McNair is an amazing novelette that aims to inspire and empower the readers. The main character, Tiny, teaches them a very important thing: no matter how difficult things are and no matter how often you have failed, you just have to keep your faith and never give up. Life is full of surprises, and sometimes the solution may come when you least expect it. When she leaves the interview without even having been given a chance to prove she deserved the job, Tiny is disappointed and things start falling apart. Her car stops, her phone has no signal, and she ends up walking back home. She feels like her life is over, but an unexpected event changes things forever.

Author Teirrah McNair is brilliant when it comes to character development. Readers will find it easy to relate to Tiny, and they will root for her from the very first pages. Many people had to deal with similar situations, and the author used the experience she gained while helping people achieve employment and success to send some powerful messages. Teirrah McNair is an ordained Christian minister and pastor who dedicated her life and work to helping people accomplish their dreams. All her books and stories contain valuable lessons that motivate readers and show them that anything is possible if they trust God and continue to work towards their goals. “March Madness Revisited Again� is a quick, delightful read that has everything it needs to keep readers glued to the pages: fast-paced action, complex, believable characters, and surprising twists and turns. Blessings, Pastor Teirrah McNair Like our pages at

On the following pages you will see all the issues of Sarah from August 2014 up to present day. We missed some months, due to other jobs and some unfortunate circumstances, but by the Grace of God we are still going! Each issue is filled with great articles. If you missed reading any of the issues, the link is provided for you to read all the inspiring stories. Also included are words of thanks and encouragement from some of the people who were featured, friends and family. Hope you enjoy‌

SARAH Magazine has given me the platform to tell my testimony to the world! ď Š This has truly been a blessing in disguise. It was therapeutic and it was just time to share. When I told my story you were very helpful and sincere in letting me be as translucent as I wanted. When telling my story I felt that God was truly there with me through it all and leading me on what to say and how to say it. I also think that he bought you to me in order to give me the opportunity and I’m glad I took that leap of faith. I always said, if I can help just one person find God in some way, I’ve done my job. He has thus far given me many more opportunities in my ministry as well as online magazine to help so many others. Also, on my Facebook ministry page I have thousands of supporters, many from other countries around the world and I can now upload and share my story with them from time to time. Thank you once again for the opportunity you gave me, along with many others in your magazine. Blessings to you! Love, Kenya

When I first learned of Sarah magazine, I would describe myself as a little girl at an ice cream parlor for my first time waiting for my first scoop of chocolate ice cream. This magazine has elevated my self-esteem and confidence. Even though, I have had success in my life, I still was addicted to self-piety and lack of confidence in myself. I had believed for so many decades, that I was the tail and not the head. However, I came out of remission of low self-esteem, when I discovered, that I could use my fingers to type on the keyboard to create a message of hope for children, teens and adults. Moreover, I saw the light of regeneration and recommitment to Christ through this magazine. I realize, that I am the child of the King, I am rich in the Lord, I am made in his image, I am highly favored, I am a warrior, I am not a slave to medication, I am happy, I can smile and not frown, I can hold my head up and know that I am Blessed! Sarah Magazine Saved Me, from falling through the cracks. In closing; I am so happy Sheree obeyed the Lord by publishing this anointed magazine. Congratulations On Your Anniversary!

Wonderful S. Davidson (Miss Davidson was featured in June of 2014)

Good afternoon and Greetings in the name Of our Lord & Savior. Please accept my few words of love to Sarah Magazine. My Name is Roschell Ward Santee, and I have been blessed by the uplifting spirit and words provided by Sarah Magazine, from new health and cooking ideas, Current Events, and Yes just Sheree's love for people. Not often enough do we take the time to put others before us, "BUT" Sheree does. In her doing for others, making sure that they are satisfied with whatever task she is performing, from laying out a magazine to her love to help someone. It gives me

great honor and pleasure to have been in her magazine but to be a part of the growth of the blessing that God has given unto her. Sarah's Magazine has proven to be a GREAT ASSET to all our lives. Best Regards,

Roschell Ward Santee (Mrs. Santee was featured in one of the very first Sarah magazines in 2012, no link available).

I love Sarah magazine! I'm always amazed at the testimonies, the articles, and advertising of different businesses. Being over 50...I thought my dreams and visions were impossible. Reading Sarah magazine made me feel young. I don't let anyone tell me I'm too old to accomplish my goals in life. I'm so proud of my sister Sheree, she has saved so many lives through her magazine. I thank God for blessing you with this beautiful ministry. ď Š

Brandy at Brigandis Sarah magazine has inspirational, motivating, uplifting stories. I have enjoyed each and every issue, the testimonies gives me great encouragement. They are so informative. I look forward to each and every issue. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY SARAH! You have been very inspirational.

Yvonne Carradine To My Dearest Blessed Cousin Sheree: The way the Sarah magazine has blessed me is that you take my Daily Inspirations and place them in the magazine. Knowing that 100's of people read them is a blessing from God. You didn’t even have to consider doing it but with the love in your heart, you allowed me to be a part of God's word through your magazines. I count it a privilege and an honor to be a part of one of the greatest Christian magazines in the whole wide world! Just knowing that some soul might be saved with a few words of inspiration is worth it all. Keep sharing the magazine all over the world because your blessings are coming through. much love to you and all the writers who are making a change in many lives. Romans8:31 Says:" If God Be For You Who Can Be Against You." AMEN!

Darlene Thompson

Sarah Has Blessed Dianna Urfavstylist I have been writing hair advice articles for Sarah magazine since March 2014. My first article was about the importance of trimming hair. Ms. Sheree approached me about writing hair tips for Sarah after a business transaction for her lovely pillowcases. Although I had written many sporadic poems and essays just for fun I'd never written for a magazine. I thought this would be fun and give me an opportunity to practice expressing my opinion and articulating myself better as a professional. I informed Ms. Sheree that I would be honored to do hair tips for her. My journey as a freelance columnist began. It has been a great experience. Sarah has played a significant role in my professional development. Writing for Sarah this past year and a half has been a blessing. When it comes to natural hair I have more than a few opinions. Sarah has given me an additional public platform to express my opinion to others and advertise my salon Melvira"s Hair Studio. When I write an article for Sarah magazine it helps to know that my article will be viewed by a plethora of people. Utilizing Sarah to share hair care advice has been a great marketing tool. Sarah exposes me to helpful business tips, inspiration, spiritual things, and events that may be going on locally and a far. My clients love to read Sarah magazine while they are being serviced. They also enjoy the fact that they are kept up to beat with local Christian organizations and events when they read Sarah. Sarah has been great and I hope that it continues. I'd like to take a moment to thank Sheree Carradine and Antwan Beaden-Leach for giving me an opportunity to grow as a professional and for always sowing positive seed into me. A big thank you and HAPPY ANNIVERSARY for the staff at Sarah magazine! God Is Good!

Keep Up The Great Work, Dianna "Urfavstylist" Grissette

And Now Here We Are Present Day. WE MADE IT! We Are In Our Fourth Year. Thank You For Taking A Walk Down Memory Lane With Us. Now Get Your Tea Or Coffee, Take A Seat, Relax And Enjoy Reading Our Featured Story….

First and foremost, I share my story for the purpose of giving all the glory to God for saving my life and my soul. God has loved me to freedom and healing. He has restored my spiritual identity and my power and authority to tread on serpents and scorpions and over all powers of the enemy. I walk and live with purpose. And nothing by any means shall hurt me. Luke 10:19 I pray that readers who may be bound and captive are reminded that Jesus came to set the captives free by the shedding of His blood and resurrection. I decree and declare that the spirit of the Lord is upon me because the Lord has anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; He has sent me to bind up the wounds of the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captive, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound; to proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn: To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness: That they might be called the trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He might be glorified. (Isaiah 61:1-3). Now that I am a spiritual woman of God, I see that the hand of the enemy has been trying to kill, still and destroy me since childhood. But I also see the mighty right hand of God’s protection over my life and soul. So please read with spiritual insight. I share my story with much, much respect and much honor to my father, mother, sister, brothers, two daughters, and two grandsons. I bow my head with humility and rise and call you all blessed. I love you. To God Be The Glory.

Set Free By The Power Of Love A Testimony Of God’s Amazing Love “Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” What a familiar playground rhyme. I used it many times as a young child (as we all did) but in my case, what a lie from the pits of hell. The pain pieced deeply into my heart, and I lived with the damage caused by cruel words that were spoken over me for most of my life. I questioned my reason for existing. I asked continually, “Why am I here?” From Proverbs 18:21, Death and life are in the power of the tongue. The words that were spoken over me killed my identity, my self-worth, my joy, my peace of mind (the battle field), my inner strength, my respect for myself and others, my confidence, and so much more. But the biggest and most important part of me died. That was my love for myself and the love of life.

IN THE BEGINNING I was born in Compton, California in March, 1966 but raised in the city of Carson, in a neighborhood known as Del Amo. I am the middle child of an older sister and younger brother whom I love very dearly. I was grateful to have both parents in the home in this middle class area where we were raised. Growing up, I remember friends and family coming to the Standifer home for gatherings. They knew they would have a good time. My mother loved hosting parties, and there was always an abundance of food and alcohol as well as dancing to the music of Earth Wind and Fire, The Spinners, Luther Vandross, etc. While the Soul Train Line was in motion, Dominos, Bid Wiz and

Spades were being played at the card tables. I credit my mother for teaching me the hospitality skills I use today. It started with “Sherie, hang up the jackets.” “Sherie, put the purses away.” “Sherie, clean the table.” “Sherie, refill the empty trays.” Sherie, Sherie, Sherie (makes me wanna holler and throw up both my hands – Marvin Gaye). But I did what I was asked to do; sometimes with a smile and sometimes with grumbling and complaining. We did so much more as a family: Trips to Disneyland, Six Flags, Knott’s Berry Farm, and Universal Studios. My parents were supportive of all our activities. My brother played football, my sister was a cheerleader, and my passion was track and field. I was the fastest girl on my team. I was so quick that the coaches of other schools requested that I stop competing in the meets because I kept winning. LOL. I was fast! One of the highlights of my track and field experience was meeting Jessie Owens at one of our events. What an honor. As a family, we also went to a lot of drive-in movies, had family night board

games, went to work and company picnics with our parents, and celebrated birthdays with classmates and neighborhood kids in big garage parties. However, while you can paint a house a beautiful color on the outside with a white picket fence, a father, mother, three kids and a dog, it’s the inside of the home that holds the hidden secrets of the truth. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. I believe children express themselves according to the environment of their close surroundings. What was I surrounded with? Well, in a nutshell, I was part of a family that appeared to be functioning normally on the outside while dysfunction ruled on the inside with lies, rage, violence, unfaithfulness and addiction. I absorbed this destructive behavior and carried it out into the world.

THE POWER OF THE TONGUE I can remember from a very young age, maybe 5th or 6th grade, having a spirit of rebellion, anger, and defiance toward my parents (mainly my mother) and authorities at school. With this came with a very sharp and bold tongue. If I had something to say, I would say it, and it didn’t matter to whom or where. If it was in me, it was coming out, and I really didn’t care if anyone was hurt by it. In the heat of a battle, I used my words as a weapon and would think to myself, “Now you feel the pain that I feel.” I learned how powerful words can be one day while arguing with my mother. I was being very disrespectful and using foul language and she turned it on me saying, “You’re a mistake anyway.” From that moment the fight was on. Whatever hurtful words were inside me were going to come out. I didn’t know it then, but a deep spiritual warfare by the enemy had begun against me.

THE ENEMY COMES TO KILL, STILL AND DESTROY At the age of 11 or 12, I began drinking alcohol and smoking marijuana. Where does a child get such items? For me, it was easy access from within the home. And while some of a child’s issues begin in the home, many come from other children. We know them as bullies. I developed into a young lady physically at a very early age and was often teased. This early development also attracted a lot of unhealthy attention which I embraced due to my feelings of rejection at home. I wanted to be accepted so badly that I did everything I could to show I was worth having around. But it was all in a destructive behavior. I became sexually active with foreplay at the age of 12, and had full intercourse by the time I was 15. To make the problem worse, along with the attention I wanted, I was also receiving unwanted sexual attention from neighbors, older boys, and even family members. During my teens, I became pregnant three times and terminated all of them. So my journey of self-hatred had begun, and I wished I was “thick” so I wouldn’t get so much attention. Be careful what you wish for. Today I weigh 245 pounds. I became out of control in every way imaginable. My substance abuse escalated to speed, downers, acid, heroine and powder cocaine. The violence that I had experienced was turned outward through gang activity and fighting at every opportunity. My self-hatred even consumed me to the point of attempted suicide. I was looking for love, but hated everything in and around me. At the age of 17, I had been expelled several times from public schools, so I was attending a continuation school. I met a 23-

year-old man from Phoenix, Arizona who I will call Andre. We dated for several months, and he became acquainted with my family. At one point, he told my parents about the Phoenix Job Corps. My father, wanting to remain close to me, said no, but because my mother felt she could not handle me, she wanted me to go. Upon turning 18, I left for Phoenix and the Job Corps. Job Corps changed my life for the better in many ways, but I was also introduced to some people who changed my life for the worse. After graduating, I ended my relationship with Andre and moved to Tucson. Trying to free myself substance abuse, I moved in with my grandparents and sought love and solace. After a short time, I moved into my own apartment was introduced to a woman named Ann. This is when I began my bisexual behavior. I had experimented with girls sexually in Junior High School and High School, but this was different. Ann and I had a relationship. Unfortunately, through Ann, I met someone who introduced me to the demon called crack cocaine at the age of 20. This began a journey through hell. I died as a human being and became a controlled object. My entire existence revolved around cocaine. I did whatever I needed to do to get my next hit, and this is when I began to be physically abused by men on a regular basis. Still seeking spiritual guidance, I found a local church to attend. Unfortunately for me, the church pastor was a womanizer who pursued many women. I welcomed his attention and advances, and we had a short affair. Of course this increased my distrust of men. I had become so used to being approached by married men that I began to date only married men. My belief was that it was a safe place for me. I thought, “He’s going to cheat anyway.” But I also

continued talking to Jesus. I could feel in my heart that he was there. I continued to abuse drugs, but things had gotten better. At the age of 21, I took a trip to Phoenix to visit one of my Job Corps friends. This is when I met a 26-yearold man while we were at a restaurant. I will call him Sylvester. Sylvester offered to take me for a ride on his motorcycle. After some convincing, I accepted. Eventually, I found out that he was married too, but we still dated for a while. When I told him I had a drug problem, he said, “What are we going to do about it?” I thought, “Wow, he cares!” Sylvester kept me close to him. We were together a lot, and I fell in love. Unfortunately, I later found out that he was one of the biggest drug dealers in the city. Here we go again! I started using heavily again and started losing his respect as well as respect for myself. After about a year, we stopped dating. Next on the Hit Parade, at the age of 23, I met another older, married man. He was a demon with the face of a man. I will call him Neal. He was a crack-smoking, woman-beating pimp (since we are being transparent). He beat me just about every day and had me turning tricks for crack. He introduced me to a strip club where I became a topless dancer by the name of Sinamen (Sin-A-Men). I chose that name because the men that were there being entertained by my fleshy body were husbands, fathers, businessmen, and churchgoers. They were all sinning as men. I remember the first time I danced, the D.J. chose the song “Joy and Pain” by Frankie Beverly and Maze. Interesting. After several months my dancing expanded into being an escort for the same type of men. Now I was entertaining in hotels and motels and getting paid for different services. And yes, Neal took most of the money. We bounced from house to house and never had a stable place to stay for very

long. So we finally settled with his mother. We were still smoking crack heavily, and I fell into a deep depression and ended up in a mental institution. Later, Neal’s mother sent us to an acquaintance to “pray” over us. He turned out to be a witch doctor. He used strands of our hair wrapped up with other items to make necklaces for us. He said we would be connected for life. I thought he meant through marriage, but shortly afterward I became pregnant once again. I didn’t want to continue the pregnancy, but Neal wanted the child. I didn’t even know if it was his or not, but he said it was. Still, even through my pregnancy, I continued to drink, smoke crack, and was beaten by Neal. One night he got so drunk he tried to hurt me really badly, but I escaped and ran down a dark alley (six months pregnant). I was running for my life and made it to a neighbor’s house only to find out that the neighbor was drunk and wanted to have sex with me. I felt my life and the life of my unborn child were in a tremendous amount of danger. Then I knew I needed to get back to California to the safety of my family. Back in California and still with a lot of anger inside, I couldn’t get along with my mother. So after only a month, I moved in with my cousin in Pomona. Guess what! Her neighbor was the local crack dealer, so the devil was all around me once again. I fell back into using through my pregnancy until my daughter was born June 18, 1990. She weighed 6 pounds, 7 ounces and had drugs in her system. The hospital notified CPS who was in the process of taking my beautiful daughter away when my parents stepped in and took responsibility. My daughter had health complications for several months, but we stayed with my parents for the next two years, all the while trying to stay clean, but struggling.

Eventually, I took my daughter and moved to Compton for another fresh start. I was determined to do it right, but her father (Neal) found us after about six months. He was living in a half-way house nearby. He stated his life had changed and that he was serving the Lord. I thought it might work this time, so we would go to church like the family I had pictured in my dreams. After a few months he moved into our apartment. Then the alcohol came in, followed by that demon, crack cocaine. I remember fighting all the time; so much that my daughter would often hide in the closet. One day I smoked so much crack that I felt like I was overdosing. I was so paranoid; I looked out the peephole of the apartment door and saw a figure of a dark man with a crown on his head. Yes, it was a demon trying to kill me. The relationship got worse and worse, and after another several months and he stole my car and abandoned me and my child. A short while after that, my daughter and I moved to Los Angeles. I enrolled in school but was still struggling with drugs and promiscuous sexual behavior. I had stayed in contact with Sylvester, and he came back into my life to try to help me. He began visiting us often (from Phoenix). He provided for my daughter and the household, but I continued with my drug use and was not able to stop behaving badly. I was a liar and a manipulator and began hating myself again. My depression got so bad that I attempted suicide again. Sylvester lost respect for me at that point and the physical abuse began. Every time he came to Los Angeles and found out I had been smoking crack, he would strip me from the waist down and beat me with a hangar as I screamed for him to stop and told him this is not helping. But the beating would continue, and then he would have sex with me.

In December of 1995, I needed money for Christmas for my daughter and family, and asked Sylvester. He said I had to work for it. He flew me to Phoenix where I committed a crime of fraud for him. This led to my incarceration. I was sentenced to 7 to 10 years. Mind you, that prior to this incarceration I had experienced some short jail time in the past, but nothing like this. During my incarceration, my sister was caring for my child, and I found out I was pregnant again. Sylvester wanted nothing to do with the baby and said “Don’t even give the child my last name.” I saw the hand of God at that point. He had locked me up to stay clean and bring my child into this world. No more abortions. Then God showed favor to me, and I was released after only serving six months. But on the day of my release, Sylvester picked me up, took me to some apartment and had sex with me. Then he dropped me off at the home of a fellow inmate’s grandmother for a few days. Back to California now to stay with my parents. At that time I found out that Sylvester had not paid my storage fees, and I had lost all of my possessions – and I mean everything. My second beautiful daughter was born two months later. There were complications, and she was on life support. Guilt kicked in deep in my soul. God is good, and she survived. But after another two years with my parents, watching more dysfunction between them, I was just more devastated. My father had divorced my mother and left the home. During my stay with my mother, I met a soldier, and that is what I called him “Soldier.” He fell in love with me and my daughters. He wasn’t a drug dealer or a crack head, but he was in a relationship. It didn’t bother me because I knew men to be cheaters anyway. I was his fantasy girl, and he took good care of me and my daughters. He loved them like his own, and they loved

him. I was approved for public housing, so I moved with my daughters to Lomita, California. Soldier knew I had an addiction and tried to help, but couldn’t. After about a year, Ann came back into my life. I ended my relationship with Soldier and moved to Tucson to live with Ann in 2001. This woman and my life were turned even more upside down. My time with her with her was a living hell. She was like another man, but in a female body. She did the same as the men I had been entangled with – cheating, lying, emotional and physical abuse. She called me her next victim, and said I was useless to her. But I stayed, trying to prove I was worth loving and keeping. We were to get married, but I knew in my heart it wasn’t right. I just wanted someone, anyone to love me. The pain of rejection was so deep. I tried to drink the pain away, but that only made it worse. I would drink so much that I can remember driving down the wrong side of the road at one time. I was seeing a therapist for depression and was ultimately diagnosed with severe mental illness and PTSD. I was prescribed antidepressants and sleeping pills. I remember passing out in front of a convenience store waiting for Ann to pick me up. She said she couldn’t bear to see me like this anymore. We had been good friends while I was at Job Corps, but our intimate relationship destroyed our friendship. In 2003, my children and I qualified for a housing program called Section 8, but I still couldn’t pull myself together. I continued to smoke crack and was high just about every day. With two daughters to raise, I did whatever I needed to do to get crack. But one thing I never did was sacrifice the bodies of my daughters like I sacrificed my own. I remember smoking so much I would get sick and bleed from my nose and rectum. My eyes were bloodshot red, and I would throw up blood. I believed

I was dying, but I always just wanted that next hit to calm me down. Just one more hit. It got so bad that I sent my girls to my mother. I had a plan. I was going to kill myself. I felt I wasn’t worth life. One day I got so high, the voices were loud in my head. “Kill Yourself, Kill Yourself.” All of the names I had been called in the past came into my head and became louder and louder. But what I heard the loudest was “You’re A Mistake Anyway.” So I believed it, and I did it. I took a handful of sleeping pills. I began to feel my body change. I was about to pass out. But an interesting thing happened. I didn’t want to really die. I just wanted to be set free from the hand of Satan. I stuck my finger down my throat and began to vomit over and over. I made it to my front door to open it on my way back to the sink for support because I was dizzy. I yelled over and over, “Help Me, Help Me. Somebody Help Me!” Two young ladies heard me and came upstairs and assisted me and called the paramedics. Off to the mental institution again. I stayed there until my insurance ran out and was discharged; leaving me feeling rejected once again – this time by the system. I thought, “Wow, does anybody care? Does anybody love me?”

DIVINE CONNECTION After being discharged, my apartment complex wouldn’t renew my lease. They wanted me out, so I had about a few months to find another place for my family. My girls had returned home, and one day we were out shopping for hair products, and I saw a very beautiful woman. With my sinful eyes I looked at her with lustful desire, hoping she liked to “party.” But it turned out she was the church evangelist and gave me her card. Her name was Shamara, and this was the moment my life began to change. Thank you, Jesus. I began going to church, and my relationship

with Shamara began to develop. But the demons kept creeping back in, and I kept smoking crack and stopped going to church. In 2004 I had an encounter with demons like I’ve never experienced before. I had been suffering with a condition called sleep apnea, and while I was sleeping I would stop breathing. I needed my oldest daughter to sleep with me so she could monitor me. One night as I was sleeping, I encountered a black, cloud-like shadow over me growling like a mad, vicious dog. I know it now as the shadow of death. In my demonic dream, I spoke back with a loud voice, “I’m Not Afraid Of You!” Then I woke up. It was daylight. I asked my daughter what happened and she said, “Mommy you sounded like you were growling.” She made the growling sounds she had heard coming out of me. So fear came upon me. I knew something was terribly wrong, and I needed help. So I went to Shamara’s church to look for the pastor to help me. He wasn’t there, but I met a physically blind man named Nathaniel and an evangelist, a mother of the church, Shirley Moore. Shirley had a soothing voice like an angel. I remember crying so much as I told her my life story. She listened so attentively. She had Nathaniel anoint my feet. Shirley anointed my head and they prayed over me for five hours. This is when I knew I was finally accepted and loved, so I began to go to church regularly with my girls. When our apartment lease was up, some of the sisters from the church came to bless our new apartment. It was a wonderful thing to see women coming together to support me. After the prayer, one of the sisters instructed me to go outside and come back into my new home. When I opened the door to enter, I felt the presence of the Lord in that place, and all I could do is cry, and they embraced me. I continued going to church, but I did

still struggle with alcohol and drugs (but much less than in the past). One day we had a women’s conference at the church, and there was a guest speaker from Oregon, Mother Ann, to deliver the Word. She began to talk about stronghold and bondage. She was laying hands and prophesying over people. She even gave a Word to my daughters and me. Then she laid hands on me, and I was slain in the spirit. I was just lying there and she asked, “Is anyone struggling with drugs?” My right hand went up, and so did the hand of another woman whose son was struggling with drugs. Mother Ann told me to come with her to pray for the other woman. I was extremely nervous, but out of obedience I went forward. With authority, Mother Ann took my right hand and placed it on the woman’s forehead and then took my left hand and placed it on the woman’s shoulder. She then put her own hand on my left shoulder. All I could say was “Thank You, Jesus. Thank You, Jesus.” Then the woman I was praying for was slain in the spirit. As she was slain in the spirit, the spirit of the Lord fell upon me and I began to jump and again shout, “Thank You, Jesus. Thank You, Jesus” over and over again. When I finally sat down in front of my spiritual mother, Shirley Moore, she put both her hands on my shoulders and said, “Baby, you have been delivered.” Another mother of Zion, Mother Gail, said, “I saw the demons come out of you.” The power had gone through Mother Ann and then through me to that woman. Her son is clean and sober today. I wasn’t sure what was happening to me, but I knew I was not the same. I felt like a little girl born all over again, and my heart was full of joy. Jesus loves me. Jesus loves me. He really loves me. I was on fire for the Lord with a vengeance in my voice toward the enemy, according to the word of God. If it was in the Bible and God said it, I believe it, so

let’s do it! That was my mindset. I was on a mission for Jesus to set the captives free. I had been born again.

ON FIRE FOR THE LORD So beginning in 2005, I was on fire for the Lord. My heart’s desire was to destroy Satan’s kingdom and dispense an abundance of God’s love to people – mainly woman and young girls. During this time, the Lord blessed me with many spiritual gifts that I gave back to the Body of Christ to edify the church and bless my Lord. I was trained by The Holy Spirit and became a prayer intercessor. I just had a desire to pray for God’s people who were in need of deliverance. God gave me the desire to sing praises unto Him. You may call it making a joyful noise. I joined the choir. I was blessed to be a greeter at the door of the House of God for a season and then an usher to meet the needs of God’s people and keep His house in order. Thanks to my mother’s training at a young age, I was skilled as a hostess and was able to labor in the hospitality ministry. I found favor with God and man and was asked to be on the church Community Board and was training to become a deaconess and a leader in the church. But the most fulfilling gift God gave me was turning my sinful nightclub dancing into a ministry of dance for Him and His people. For three years at the church I was the servant leader of Amazing Grace Dance Ministry. Only God can do such a thing. I ministered at Church Anniversaries, Birthdays, Weddings, Home-Going Celebrations, Reconciliation Events, and the Summer Splash event hosted by the Pressed Oil Ministry through the CEO, Shamara Cox. My life was tremendously changed. I was finally accepted and loved. During this time I was also employed by Shamara as an executive assistant. I had

the look, but not the training. But Shamara gave me a chance and trained me on the job. It turned out that a couple from the church had a family business, AIWW, and in September of 2005 they hired me. There was so much going on so quickly in my life that it was truly amazing. But then things began to change.

CHANGE IS PART OF TRUSTING GOD I found out my 15-year-old daughter was pregnant. I didn’t know what to do. My first pregnancy was at 15, but I did not continue that pregnancy. I wondered if my daughter should follow in my footsteps or keep this child. So I did what I do best. I cried out to the Lord for guidance. We decided to keep the child. So, as a woman of God, how do you deal with this in the church? I’ll make this short. It was not a healthy spiritual experience for my daughter. She was put on display in the church and the members were not supportive in her young eyes. To this day, she is still very reserved about church environments. Be careful how you treat people. God is love! In 2006, my grandson was born prematurely at 25 weeks and only weighed 1 pound, 7 ounces. Our faith was challenged because we were told he would not survive. My children needed to see God was on our side, so as the leader of my small family, I pulled from God for strength for all of us. I prayed over my grandson from Jeremiah 1:1-9 daily and anointed his feet every chance I got. The hospital tried to prepare us for his death but as a true believer, I did not receive it. My mother also came to help out during this time. This was a journey with many medical issues, but this child had a praying grandmother and great

grandmother. My grandson is now nine years old. Tears fall from my eyes as I write this, and I say, “How Great Is Our God?!” So the journey continues. In 2007, still in the Section 8 housing program, we moved again and rented a beautiful home from one of the ministers in the church, Cheryl Haley (another spiritual mother). But so much was going on in my life that I began to get very lonely and overwhelmed. I was clean and sober, but I was carrying a heavy load of responsibility and had no partner to share it with. I had not been in a relationship since 2005. That was a true miracle within itself. But I wanted someone to share my life with. So I began to pray, “Father, is there anybody on this earth who would love me enough to marry me with all that I have been through? Is there someone who would look at me and see you?” I truly desired to be a wife. I had played house many times, but was never loved enough and did not trust enough to be someone’s wife. But there was a musician in the church with a voice that took my breath away – a church man. That was my heart’s desire, someone who loves Jesus. I began to inquire about this man, but I found out he was in a relationship. I stepped all the way back. I was so proud of myself and grateful to God that I was truly delivered from interfering in another relationship. But as it turns out, his relationship with the other woman was coming to an end and he slowly persuaded me. We dated for less than a year when he asked me to marry him. So I answered with a calm outer “Yes,” and an inner jumping for joy “Thank you, Jesus!” I thought, “Somebody loves me enough to marry me. Somebody loves me!” On March 1, 2008, we became husband and wife. We had the most beautiful anointed wedding. God had answered my prayer. I was a bride and a wife after less than four years of being born

again. This love meant so much to me. It was a gift from God then, and still is, but for a different reason. My life was complete. Everyone loved seeing us in the ministry together. He sang to the Lord, and I danced for the Lord. We were called a “Dynamic Duo.” I stayed steady in my walk, prayer, fasting, studying and rebuking the enemy. But being untrained as a spiritual wife, I was not balanced. I gave more time to my personal spiritual walk than I did to my walk with my husband. Not to bring dishonor to the man I married, but I wondered over and over, “Why aren’t you doing in the home what you do in the church?” “Why do I feel like the spiritual leader in this household?” This began to cause a lot of tension in our relationship. We were in the pastor’s office constantly. My husband’s complaint was, “She prays too much and too long.” “She reads too many different spiritual books.” “She is always on a fast.” … and so on. Yes, I was on fire for God and needed to stay close to God because I knew if I didn’t I would die spiritually. I began to look at my husband in a different way, but was still trying hold onto him in a way that we could do this spiritual walk together. I remember he stated once in a condescending way, “I’ve been going to church for a while. This is not new to me.” I began to feel overwhelmed between my personal problems, my marriage, and being the leader in the church. I was going through the process of gaining custody of my 2-year-old grandson and dealing with the normal teenage challenges with my youngest daughter. This was all made more difficult due to being the bread winner of the family. My husband seemed to feel intimidated and envious of what God was doing in me and through me, but I did my best to involve my husband in all of my endeavors. In 2010, I birthed out a

workshop called Fearfully and Wonderfully Made - See Yourself as God Sees You. This was for young women who were battling with their spiritual identities as I had. God moved in a powerful way with healing, breakthroughs, encouragement, hope in Jesus, and salvation. Trying to involve my husband in my spiritual growth, I pulled from his advice, support, guidance, and his gift of music. Later in 2010, I birthed out Amazing Grace Dance Ministries Third Year Anniversary, and involved my husband again. This dance ministry anniversary was awesome (To God Be The Glory). We renewed our vows later that year, and my husband and the pastor baptized me. I was sure we would be okay because that was a sacred moment. As time went on, we began to pray for a home of our own. We looked at many houses and were close to settling for almost anything, but I objected. Our wonderful realtor eventually found our dream home on March 10, 2011. During the process of purchasing the home, my husband did not qualify (God’s strategic plan) so the home was legally in my name only. It is a beautiful home, I must say. As a family, we were all so happy and grateful to have our new home, but my husband was out of work once again and decided to go to school. So I continued to provide the majority of the family’s financial needs. My husband received financial aid and yes, I made sure that a portion of it went to the needs of the household. But I began to notice again that he was not being productive during his hours at home and seemed to be taking advantage of the situation. My inner thoughts were, “You don’t want to work.” “You are using me.” “You are being dishonest.” “You are not a man of your word.” “You are just like the rest of them.” “You don’t love me.”

Even the birth of my second grandchild was overshadowed by our stressful relationship. So I did a lot of praying and reading, but this took me even further from him. He started saying that I needed to loosen up, unwind, and stop being so spiritual about everything. He said “I don’t have a problem with you drinking wine. It might help you relax.” But in my mind I am a former alcoholic. One drink is too many, and one drink is not enough. My husband convinced me that I was exaggerating about everything, and I needed to calm down. So I began to “unwind” with wine.

THE DOOR WAS OPENED, AND SIN CAME IN The fighting got worse. The name calling and the physical abuse began. In my mind, I began to think, “You are just like the rest of them.” I fought back, but realized I was only truly hurting my children and myself. So the drinking got heavier and cigarettes and marijuana, and finally crack were added all over again. In my heart, I wanted my husband out of my life because I didn’t want him to see me like this. I felt that I failed him and my family, and believed he was going to leave me just like the rest of them. But I didn’t want him to. I told him I was smoking crack again because deep down inside I wanted him to love me enough to help me. Instead, he began to share my weaknesses with the members of the church. He exposed my sin in my nakedness. So I chose to sit myself down from every auxiliary in the church that I was a part of. I would not dishonor God with hypocrisy. I was not worthy to do anything in the church at that point In August of 2012, my husband left me. I was not worth fighting for in his eyes. I tried to keep going to church, but there was so much shame, guilt, embarrassment, and condemnation on

me. I felt the difference from the church members – the gossiping, lies, judgment, whispers and the finger pointing at me. My husband had run my name into the mud. He did just what the enemy used him to do. He persecuted me. It was too much for me, so I took a short getaway trip to Phoenix to get some peace of mind. This was in December of 2012. As I was leaving my hotel, the advisory pastor of the church called me and said there was too much distraction in the church due to the issues between my husband and me. He stated this meant that one of us needed to worship somewhere else. And yes, I was the chosen one. I truly was in a state of shock. I was devastated. During my two-hour drive back to Tucson I had several flashbacks about being rejected and seeming to ruin everything I touched. Self-hatred came back on strong, and the voice of the enemy stated loudly that “The Church Doesn’t Even Want You, They Used You, They Don’t Love You.” The thing I had desired most in all my life was to know Jesus and to be loved. But when push came to shove, I had been rejected. Thoughts of suicide flooded my mind again. “Drive off a cliff, Sherie. Just end it all. Nobody loves you.” Then I heard the voice of the Holy Spirit of God say, “You Shall Live And Not Die! You Shall Live And Not Die!” And He began to show me my two beautiful daughters and my beloved grandsons. Thank you, Jesus. I made it home and that was when depression really took a toll on me. While battling my addictions, I appeared to be functioning normally, but my mind was in chaos and I was actually a dysfunctional woman. For the next 2 years, I battled with the many demons who had returned - seven times worse. My drinking got worse. Every chance I got I consumed alcohol. There were tears when I woke up and tears when I

went to bed. Depression was deep, but it was a fight for my life, and I wasn’t giving up. I knew I needed a church home. I needed to hear the Gospel. The Lord led me to a church, but I was still battling the demons within.

IF GOD BE FOR ME My deliverance, freedom and healing came in many ways. Even while under the influence, I cried out to the Lord and prayed without ceasing. I worshipped Him. I blessed His name. I praised Him. I trusted Him and kept the faith in Him. I went to women’s retreats, and it seemed that every topic was related to the story of my life. I listened to the sermons by T.D. Jakes, The Spell Breaker and Surviving In Between over and over again. I was blessed by reading Joyce Meyers’ Beauty for Ashes and listened to several of her tapes. I sought God’s promises over my life in the Bible. I also watched a lot of television evangelists. They had an on time Word for me. Believe it or not, I listened to a secular song that I turned into Gospel, Step in the Name of Love by R. Kelly. My main verse was “If They Asked You Why I Did It, Then Tell Them I Did It For Love.” Meaning, Jesus died and delivered and healed me because of love. I’m not blaspheming. I know what took place in my deliverance. I kept the faith in God’s plan and purpose for my life. I washed myself in scriptures: Psalms 34, Romans 8:28, Jeremiah 29:11, the whole chapter of Ezekiel 11, focusing on verses 1921, Isaiah 61 and Romans 8:35. I joined a dance ministry called Divine Appointment where God used them in a prophetic way to turn my eyes to His light. It truly was a divine appointment. I also sought wise council from the three most powerful spiritual women in my life. My mentor of 10 years, Pastor Evelyn Jones,

my sister/friend that hosted the women’s retreat, Minister Vanessa Ferrell, and the powerful vessel God used in 2004 to bring me back to the Lord, my love, sister, and friend, Reverend Shamara D. Cox. These women never forsook me and have loved me unconditionally. In June of 2015, we had a revival at our church. I was called to the altar, and the prophetess spoke a word to me. I began to weep and laid out prostrate at the altar. Then the pastor began to speak my life. He knew nothing about me in the natural, but everything that God showed him in the spirit. It truly was the spirit of God. And that was the birthing and manifestation that released me into ministry. It was powerful. I may be misunderstood or even unlearned in some areas, but I believe that through the Holy Spirit and the study of the word, the Lord will continue to lead and guide me. I will continue to speak life over myself through the word of God and continue to walk out this healing process - because it is a process.

NO WEAPON FORMED AGAINST ME SHALL PROSPER I chose to believe my existence is not in vain. But the interesting thing about my healing process was that the Lord allowed women and young girls to continue to come to me seeking words of encouragement and hope. So God used my issues to help them get through whatever they were going through. I found myself ministering to them and myself at the same time. He Is Amazing! But my biggest breakthrough came through secular counseling. Through the counselor, God identified the source of my damaged soul (the planting of the seeds from mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, and financial abuse).

Manifestation of my issues presented in the form of:  A desperate need to be loved  Feelings of rejection  Needing the approval of others (acceptance).  Stress caused by “playing the part”  Fear of being alone  Poor self-image and low self esteem  Extreme depression (spiritually dead),  Shame, guilt, self-pity and self-hatred Manifestation of my strongholds presented in the form of:  Rage, anger, bitterness and hostility  Self-medicating, drugs, alcohol, sex and eating disorder  The weapon of the tongue  Pride/stubbornness  Holding onto past hurts  The need to prove myself  The need to control situations  Negatively influencing others  Complacency (remaining stagnant) Where did I get this pile of garbage? It was in the beginning – in the house. So the main part of my healing was to repent for believing lies from the enemy and absorbing his poison. I needed to forgive everyone who, knowingly or unknowingly, had participated in the enemy’s plot to kill, still and destroy me. You are forgiven. By receiving God’s love through Jesus, my Savior and King through my journey of life, He has shown His unconditional love for me through His amazing grace in my life. By the renewing of my mind through His word, I am learning to love myself from the inside

out. I am learning to be content with me. Something I sought for all my life was right in front of me, but I couldn’t see it. I was searching for it in all the wrong places. I seek no longer.

WITH GOD, ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE I have been single for three years. I am the proud owner of a beautiful 4bedroom home, and I am a career woman even though I have no high school diploma or GED. I had never held a job over a year in the past, but today I give God glory for keeping me with the same company for 10 years. My two beautiful daughters have had their struggles because of my bad choices, but they have witnessed their mother fight for her life with the help of God. I am proud of my daughters, and I love them dearly. I am a grandmother of two handsome grandsons I am writing my first article for Sarah Magazine, and possibly my first book in the near future. So what the devil meant for bad, God turned it around for my good and His glory. Yes, he turned it. Some people couldn’t go where God is taking me, for my latter days will be better than my former. Behold, I will do a new thing, said the Lord. My healing and delivering process included several steps. I had to first recognize I needed help; I had to recognize the spirits that were causing all the trouble in my life. I had to surrender and take the baggage to the foot of the cross. I had to confess with repentance to my part in all this and forgive others that were entangled in my baggage. I had to believe that I served a God who was truly able to deliver me from the pits of hell. I had to receive His precious gift of love, deliverance, healing, restoration and freedom. God said He will give me back everything the enemy has stolen from me. I

believe God. Today, I have a church home and a wonderful pastor and first lady, and I thank God for them. It was a challenge in the beginning of my membership there because I was so broken and lost. But the preaching of the gospel brought more healing and deliverance. I’m grateful for my church family. Now I must continue to stay in His presence so that I may stay in His will for my life. I know by sharing our love story, the enemy is going to do whatever he can to do entangle me and make my testimony out to be a lie. But I stand in notice that No Weapon Formed Against Me Shall Prosper. I am covered in the blood of Jesus, and this battle is not mine. It belongs to the Lord. But I will fight a good fight of faith. I will intercede on behalf of young daughters of the most high God. I have been called, and I have been chosen, and I accept the assignment the Lord has given me. I have been set free by the power of love. Thank you, Jesus. I dedicate my life to continue to minister to young women who suffer with an identity crisis just as I did. I believe God has anointed me according to Isaiah 61 to open a home for young girls and women to empower them, build their faith in God, equip them, and help them see themselves as God sees them (fearfully and wonderfully made) by receiving His love. I know Jesus to be a savior, healer, deliverer, mind regulator, provider, a comforter. He is my Prince of Peace, my sustainer, my keeper, my vindicator and defender. He is a present help in times of trouble. He is the lover of my soul. I know him to be married to the backslider. I know him to be my Protector, My Way Maker, My Father And Mother, A Friend That Sticketh Closer Than A Brother Or Sister, My Redeemer, And My Restorer. He walks with me. He talks with me. I love Him and He loves me with an

everlasting love. I am the apple of His eye. I am accepted in the beloved. I will never be bound again because I am set free by the power of love. What shall I then say to these things. If God be for me, who can be against me? Being confident of this very thing, that He which hath begun a good work in me will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.

Words From Friends And Family Sherie Standifer has been a flower in the garden of my life. Over the past decade, I have had the God-given privilege and honor of helping to cultivate, water, prune, and nourish her. I have also been blessed by the opportunities and experiences that come with close observation over time. I've watched her grow where she was planted, mature in the soil, develop a bud, and finally blossom into a beautiful, unique, and fragrant Christian. When Sherie started attending the church where I ministered, she was obviously a babe in Christ. She came with a heart that was opened to God and to His people. Her life before knowing Christ was not good. She acknowledged that sin had taken its toll on her and that she was now so thankful to be able to bask in the sunlight of God's love and forgiveness. She attended the services with the eagerness of a young bird waiting for the worm to be dropped into its opened mouth. She was faithful in participating in the Sunday School, Worship Services, Prayer Meetings, and Midweek Services. If the doors of the church were open, she was bound to be there, toting her

well-read Bible. Nowadays, some churchgoers leave their Bibles at home. But, it was apparent that Sherie placed a special value on God's Word and the well-used pages were an indication that she made a habit of utilizing it as the roadmap for her new journey in Christ. Sherie has maintained clear evidence of having a teachable spirit....always seeking understanding, application, and then striving to measure up to God's standard of holiness. Never does she portray an attitude of superiority {holier than thou}, but rather an attitude of gratitude. She is grateful that the Lord brought her out the darkness of sinful living and into the marvelous light of becoming an heir of God and joint heir with Jesus. I know from personal experience how life as a single parent has its challenges. Yet, I saw her meet them head on with dignity and an obvious sense of determination. Somehow, this woman who is young enough to be my daughter was able to offer words of encouragement, understanding, and wisdom when I was met with challenges and struggles with the teenagers I was raising in my senior years. Her heartfelt advice was always coupled with scripture, prayer and compassion. As a retired school administrator, I had certainly studied child development, psychology, behavior management strategies, and parenting techniques. But, Sherie would seem to intuitively know just the right remedies and remembered to remind me that time and prayer bring about change. She is a woman of faith and a woman of hope (in Christ Jesus). Even though I've moved miles across the country, Sherie maintains contact with me and I continue to see the beautiful petals of

her ever opening flower. The fragrance of her life is light, clean, sweet, and refreshing. She is a servant of God and she seeks to serve others, both young and old. She is excited about her life in Christ and she lets her radiance in Him shine and warm the environments where she lives, works, plays, shops, teaches, and where she worships. In spite of some personal difficulties in her life, I've seen her stand in the midst of adversity. She stands strong in the midst of confusion and disappointment. I've seen her exercise faith when it looked like all hope was gone. I've seen her get back up when she fell and when she was trampled underfoot. The crushing of her petals has brought forth an essence that only comes forth with tears. I've seen God's hand on her life. He has turned her ashes into beauty and her mourning into dancing. And, her liturgical dances are in praise and adoration for the great things He has done. As Sherie continues to allow the Lord to reign on the thrown of her life, she will indeed make a wonderful addition to the bouquet in God's hands. It is with pride and humility that I consider Sherie to be my spiritual daughter and my very good friend. Respectfully submitted,

Rev. Cheryl Alston-Bing My Cousin,- Ree--Ree. Sherie Standifer one of my younger cousin whom is more like a little sister to me.... We grew up together in Los Angeles, CA. in the late sixties. Sherie was a handful, always getting into something, very caring, and always willing to please. As she begin to develop, the young boys

started to come around she got into a relationship and started use drugs... Sherie fell in Love with this one special guy and started acting out, she became uncontrollable. I would try to keep her under my wing but she stop coming around. She was going through a lot of abuse and her parents decided to send her to Job corps out of state in Arizona Sherie tried over and over to get on the right path but the drugs had a strong hold on her. She tried and tried to shake it off but years passed and by that time she had two beautiful girls and the youngest is my God Child.

and she had a lot more searching to do, she had to search deeper to find herself and with the Power of God He released her from the stronghold that man had on her heart. He said I will never leave you, sometimes I have to let you find your way.... and when that time comes I will open the flood gates of Heaven to rain down on you, Seeing my cousin go through all the changes of the seasons, she has held on to God unchanging hands. I listen to my cousin and she has come a long way. Her life has changed for the better.

As time passed, Sherie moved back to Arizona, with her girls, it took some time but she found a church and that became her new home. This is where she had God fearing women around her to encourage her to Trust God and give Him all of her, and that’s what she did. Like anyone else she had trails and tribulation, she stumbled and got back up, she didn’t know much about the word of God but she studied and prayed until the Lord revealed to her that He would be with her always. He began to open up doors for her that she didn't believe could be open, she started asking for forgiveness for all of her sins He began speaking to her and she began growing in the Word. She has always been a very out spoken Woman, but God has put an anointing in her voice and she has that roar that comes out like a lion... When she prays the spirit of the Lord is upon her, The Lord took her to another level. She met a man in the church and at that point said he was going to be her husband but little did she know that God had another road for her to travel... and it was a rocky road...Only God could bring her out

With a message of compassion, recovery and healing, Sherie Standifer uses her past experiences to speak with those who need to breakthrough their baggage and live victoriously! I have known Sherie since 2003 and I have seen her grow spiritually and I have seen her fall spiritually but through it all she always managed to get back up and come back even stronger than before. God knew the path Sherie would take and no matter how grown up a sheep becomes, the Shepherd still knows her better than she knows herself. God knew she was bound to go astray every now and then, and not count the cost of her actions. The shepherd understands her shortcomings, flaws and failures. So, long before they begin to manifest, He places right behind them, Goodness and Mercy, all the days of their lives. After watching Sherie’s ministry unfold I have witnessed goodness and mercy following her and Jesus carrying her. God has demonstrated that whatever the circumstances in her life she has the assurance that nothing misses the eyes of God.

Mrs. Denise Knowles-Bragg

She is a very dear friend whose friendship I cherish and I will always support her and her ministry and I know God has placed greatness inside of her. I can only imagine the expansive plans God had in mind for her as she uses her message to tell her story of hope, life, and love.

Be Blessed,

Minister Vanessa Ferrell I didn’t know Sherie in her past life so I see her as she is now, a daughter of the King; listening for His voice; wondering and fearing sometimes, but still listening and obeying. I know Jesus sought her until she found Him. I understand that central point in a person’s life when they are truly born again and I understand the despair and yearning for the world to be right and that Jesus is the only One who can fill this longing. In this way Sherie and I are sisters. The circumstances that turned our hearts after God were different but the essential thing is that He is delighted and able to take our broken ways, bring us into His presence, and make us into a beautiful masterpiece designed by His hands. God is not finished with us yet but in the end He will say “well done”. Psalm 40:1-3 I waited patiently for the LORD to help me, and He turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see what he has done and be amazed. They will put their trust in the LORD.

Becky Shafe

My Beautiful Flower The day was like any other hot Tucson Day. I was with my oldest daughter at the time in the hair shop looking for the latest style for church. I met a woman, who displayed a hidden beauty. A beauty layered with pain, confusion and misunderstanding. She was strong but weakened by her lifestyle. I could tell she was thirsty but for a refreshing. So we started to “chit chat” and this was the beginning of our friendship. I have seen Sherie develop into the most beautiful type of worshipper. One that is innocent and pure that simply just believes Jesus. I have seen her heart broken and the pieces scattered among the church as if they meant nothing while her Jesus gently followed her picking them up, one by one. Sherie is a part of my heart, Like another ventricle, Pumping love, hope and a true “thick and thin” sisterhood into my veins. This is why I love this woman. She is and has always been in a relentless pursuit of the new and even better edition of herself, created in Christ. I am so thankful that I invited her to church that afternoon. I am so thankful she walked into the church, staggering but determined to break free from everything chain that held her back. I am so thankful that she decided to be my sister in Christ and lifelong friend, and I am so grateful that we have shared so many memories together. The Sherie I see today is the beautiful and refreshing composite of God’s grace, love, acceptance, patience, kindness, plan, and passion. I love my Sherie because she is just plainly and simply a woman after God’s own heart and has the guts not to stop.

Shamara D. Cox, Co-founder & Managing Partner – The Merit Group LLC

My name is Nathaniel; I would like to speak about a young woman that I befriended in 2001. When this introduction occurred, I operated a fitness center, located in the rear of our church. Our chance meeting occurred when Sherie was looking for someone at the church. She knew that this particular church held prayer, and it was prayer being sought on this day. A young Evangelist who had given her a card with the address, and also invited her to attend, over one year ago. Sherie was looking for the individual who gave her the card, because she was spiritually broken and in need of prayer. None of us at the time knew, that the young woman Evangelist who had invited her to attend over one year ago, was my daughter Shamara. Shamara was the Evangelism Minister at the church. When I first began speaking to Sherie, in the doorway of the fitness center, I knew she was being attacked. By who? We know him as satan, why? Because she was called by Jesus. When we began talking, Sherie was very reserved. I now know, she thought I was alone. She felt I might take advantage of her. I began speaking to her, and identified myself as a minister for the church. I could tell as the conversation continued, she became increasingly more comfortable. I continued to speak with her and expressed a deep concern about her current appearance, that being very nervous, out of sorts, un-trusting and very apprehensive. I stopped talking, she looked at me and she stopped talking as well. Then she spoke “I feel your safe “, indeed I was safe. I asked her to come in to the fitness center, with a slight hesitation in her first step; she slowly crossed the threshold of the door entering into the center. My office was towards the back of the center. Nevertheless, she really needed enough courage and faith,

to know I wasn’t leading her into a compromising situation. Once she understood I had no desire to compromise her, she followed me into my office. In my office I had a visitor evangelist Shirley Moore. Shirley Moore is two sons gospel DJ and has been so in the gospel community for 40 years. Shirley took an instant interest in Sherie. I asked her to sit down and Shirley and Sherie began conversing immediately. Together Shirley and I asked Sherie questions about her life. I must say, I am a minister and social worker. I am bound to the privacy clause between client and worker as to information Sherie shared with Shirley and I, therefore this document will not expose those personal actions and behaviors expressed to me by Sherie. She must be the one to share this information with those reading this document, if such information is needed. As a minister I know that Sherie was dealing with spiritual issues that caused Shirley and I much concern. I asked her, to trust me and know that we at this church will love her to life, if she were to surrender her life to Christ. Shirley spoke to her about the benefits of changing her life, and turning it over to Christ. Sherie was uncertain and afraid; this concept appeared to be well beyond her scope of understanding. I began to get deeper in to the meaning of Christ and what he could mean to her, if she simply just surrender. Sherie wanted to believe me, it was her disbelief in men not me that concerned her. Her original thought process of I being safe, allowed her to hear me, believe me, and want to do not as I, but as I indicated Jesus would want her to do. Shirley being a long time Evangelist in Christ served as wise council for many young women, Shirley herself with a testimony that bared her very soul because of the nature of the event. Sherie had spiritual demons all around her; they had

consumed her desire to seek change or Christ. Sister Shirley and I prayed with her for over 5 hours. Her very soul was at stake. She wanted loose of this thing holding her, she knew after so much prayer, it would be difficult to break the tentacles that bound her. The most impressive part of this union was Sherie wanted loose, and she was like Jacob, she wrestled until her blessing came through. After a few days and showing Sherie much love, she gave her life to Christ; I mean she dove in head first. I learned from Sherie, her love for Jesus was so unconditional it was amazing to see. I am physically blind; however I could see the love of Sherie through the warmth of her heart. To this very day, Sherie serves as an example as to what one can do with Jesus on their side. There were times I felt oh well she is going to result back to old behaviors. I felt ashamed based on my lack of belief. Sherie is the strongest woman next to my wife I know, Sherie is awesome, my wife Katie created the word awesome. Sherie sold out, and became a role model for many young ladies including her daughters who saw a consistent woman of GOD, walk her promise. Sherie I applaud your strength and desire. I will always love remember you for your I must change attitude and your then desire to gain acceptance over that you surrendered to. This letter can only give a brief description of which Sherie Sandifer is, this letter cannot show you who Sherie Sandifer was. It does however show, she still is saved and remains an example of faith integrity, her name is written in the lamb’s book of life. Sincerely,

Nathaniel Emmanuel Mitchell

FOUND You took my hand and lead the way, At every perfect moment, you knew exactly what to say, Standing in amazement on how he works his love through you, No words could ever thank you enough for all you do, I now see the beauty in my struggle, as it's watering my seed, My flower is blooming from you believing in me, My black and white life has now come to color, I'm beyond blessed to call you my spiritual mother! I wanted to keep it simple, Hope you like it! I can't express to you on how big you have made a difference in my life, I love you Ms. Sherie!!!!!!!

Jessica McCleery Sherie Standifer; A woman of transparency. I can see the transformation in Sherie starting from 2005. In my opinion, she has always been liberal in sharing who she is as a woman of God and how much she is in dire need of God’s guidance. She is a woman who testifies her struggles in order that you can see the power of the Lord as he recues her form the hands of the enemy. She walks on the pathway of humility because she knows this is where her strength comes from. She is not a person who masquerades her mistakes for prides sake, Nor does she sheepishly tell her victories. What you see

is what you get, integrity, a fine quality to have in a friend. As a friend I describe our relationship as wholesome and that’s because I see her as wholesome. Her attitude is healthy; it invites opportunities that cause her to keep herself in check. Self-evaluation and consistently learning to put her priorities in order. Wholesome, working to renew her mind to think in the ways that Jesus has instructed her to do in His word. Self-control, only though his strength she is able to have victory. I have witnessed her spiritual power to submit and obey. I have also witnessed her eat humble pie giving the benefit to others and beating the devil at his game of discord. I respect our friendship; it is a good sister to sister companionship as to maintain trust and respect for who we are as individuals. On the other hand as mentor, I find her to be teachable, humble and caring. I respect her honesty in the face of possible ruin (judgment) to her reputation. Although I have witnessed her assertiveness as well when situations or circumstances arise in need of such conduct. I am a witness to her battle with discouragement, confusion and negotiating with the devil in her earlier years as a Christian, Not because I was looking for it, She actually informed me of her defeats. But because she is a woman of prayer and she knows where there are two in agreement, God’s will, will be done according to His word. We have prayed together, I believe hundreds of prayers over years. This is why I can say is that given the opportunity Sherie can become a friend to hundreds who are yet to meet her. Nevertheless it is because of her character and aspiration to help women everywhere and in all kinds of trouble, which feeds her compassion for her ministry. I do not believe I have ever witnessed or heard her cast the first stone of judgment at anyone intentionally.

She believes judge not that you may not be judged. It is through the expense of her own experiences that she shares her stories for the love of others. I have always known her to seek wise council from pastors, ministers, and people of status in honesty and integrity. That tells me a lot about who she is now and who she is striving to be. As a woman who prays to God and gives praises to his name, this young woman is predestined for greatness. I am honored to be her friend and mentor.

Pastor Evelyn Jones I met Sherie maybe about a year ago through a mutual friend. The moment I met her I knew there was something special about her. Not only do we share the same name, but our spirits have connected as if we have known each other for years. When she shared her story with me, I knew I had to put her in Sarah Magazine. She took a big step to be transparent and share her story. I am in awe of how far she has come. What A Beautiful Woman Of God! When I look at her and read her story, all I can say is ….WOMAN YOU DON’T LOOK LIKE WHAT YOU’VE BEEN THROUGH! You are so blessed. Continue to share God’s word and thank you for sharing your testimony in Sarah Magazine. Love You Sis, Minister Sheree Carradine, Chief Editor

Closing Remarks By Sherie Standifer: From the heart of God, God loves you O precious daughters! In you I see that precious child of God, that beloved creation that He counted worthy to come and step off the heavenly throne for. Beloved enough to die for on a cross and of such worth in His eyes, to defeat sin and death that you would not have to live in chains. Go forth in victory daughters, I am here praying for you, loving you and my sincere hope is that I am exemplifying GOD'S unconditional LOVE to you. I will praise you oh Lord, because I am FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE.

Much Love,

Sherie Standifer

A Very Special Thanks For Helping Make Sarah Magazine So Awesome! To All Of You That Stuck With Us On A Regular Basis, You Wrote Articles, Posted Your Businesses, And Aided In Helping Us Make The Magazine Look Better. Thank You So Much For Believing In Us. I Could Not Have Done This Without You. God Has Moved Some Of You On To Do Other Things In Your Life. Whatever Time You Spent with Us, If Haven’t Said It, I’m Saying It Now…I APPRECIATE YOU! I Pray That Whatever The Next Step Is In Your Life, God Will Prosper You In A Mighty Way. If I Have Forgotten Anyone Please Forgive Me, Just Know That I Appreciat You. Love You So Much! Thank You Once Again,

Minister Sheree Carradine Creator/Chief Editor

Alexys Rodgers TEEN TALK

Deacon Antwan Beaden-Leach Co-Editor Of Sarah Magazine ENCOURAGEMENT


Jeannette Carradine Crenshaw COOKING WITH J.C.


Dianna “Urfavstylist” Grissette HEALTHY HAIR TIPS

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PastorVaughn & Minister LaNita Price NUGGETS THAT NURTURE



Wonderful S. Davidson ETIQUETTE TIPS

Cheryl Patterson UNIVERSAL XPERIENCE (no photo shown)


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