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FEATURES | POLLS | TAKING LIBERTIES | ISSUE OF THE WEEK
MELISSA LEE JOHNSON
‘Pulling Off a Spawn’
For Asian Carp, Next Stop Will be Lake Michigan TRUMP DEFUNDS THE ENVIRONMENT AS INVASIVE SPECIES ADVANCE ::BY MATTHEW J. PRIGGE
his summer, a commercial fisherman pulled a live, eight-pound silver carp from the Calumet River near Chicago. The fish, one of four species collectively known as Asian carp (silver carp, grass carp, bighead carp and black carp), was found about nine miles from Lake Michigan, well beyond the electrical barrier on the Chicago Sanitary and Ship Canal designed to keep these fish from advancing towards the lake. The discovery was made during a seasonal “intensive sampling period” that the Asian Carp Regional Coordinating Committee (ACRCC), a collaboration of 40 Great Lakes region governmental agencies, undertakes twice annually. A two-week series of emergency ACRCC protocols triggered by the discovery yielded no indication of other carp having breached the electrical barriers. “We treat any capture of Asian carp in a new location as a significant finding,” said Mike Weimer, senior fish biologist with the ACRCC. Weimer said that the agency has an ongoing series of efforts to prevent the fish from reaching the lake. In addition to the maintenance of the electrical barrier, the ACRCC commissions large-scale harvests of carp near the northern end of their population mass on the Illinois River. Weimer estimates that the mass is about 47 miles from the lake, a position that has remained steady for several years. This latest finding comes at a perilous time for the Great Lakes. The Trump administration has blocked the release of a U.S. Army Corps of Engineers study of possible additional methods of preventing carp from reaching the Great Lakes; the report was due out in February. While the current systems have, thus far, been mostly successful, many experts doubt the electrical barrier will be 100% effective. Furthermore, Trump’s proposed 2018 budget eliminates the $300 million Great Lakes Restorative Initiative, a program that funds many aspects of the carp-prevention system. “The finding of an adult Asian carp north of the electric barrier is a warning signal,” said Jennifer Caddick of the Alliance for the Great Lakes. “Yet the administration and government agencies continue to put the Great Lakes at risk by continuing with business as usual.”
6 | AUGUST 10, 2017
According to Duane C. Chapman, leader of Asian carp research for the U.S. Geographical Survey, the process of Asian carp reaching and populating the lake is a complicated one. Chapman said that the carp spawning process is a “very complex system” about which researchers still have much to learn. Well-fed carp could possibly spawn every year, Chapman said, but a successful spawn requires a sizable population of adult fish. “You don’t just have one male and female pull off a spawn; it doesn’t work like that,” Chapman said. “It seems unlikely to me that a small population of carp could pull off a spawn.” Chapman points to the discovery of three bighead carp in Lake Erie between 1995 and 2000. There were almost certainly more carp living in the lake at the time, Chapman said, but researchers found no evidence that the fish had successfully spawned. Should a sizable population of carp reach Lake Michigan, the success of their spawns would depend on how quickly the fish could mature in the colder waters of the lake. Chapman cites the long period between the first appearance of silver carp in the Mississippi River Basin and their more recent population explosion, which, he said, “took 20 years.” A similar invasion of the lake could also take decades to lead to a mass infestation, or a small population could exist and maintain its size indefinitely. A third, more alarming, outcome would involve a series of successful spawns leading to a population explosion that devastates the lakes and the communities that depend on them. Chapman has little doubt that Asian carp would prosper in the lake. “They will survive,” he said. “They will probably do pretty well. Lake Michigan has everything they need.” He says that the quagga mussel invasion of the lake has shifted the lake’s base of nutrients from its middle to its margins, meaning that a population of invasive carp would almost certainly cluster within this “ring of food” along the lake’s shorelines. From the shorelines, they would also likely infest the many rivers that flow into the lake, including Milwaukee’s inner waterways. On the fringes of the lake, the carp could devastate Wisconsin’s commercial and sport fishing industries, which generate over $7 billion annually. Asian carp can grow up to seven feet long and weigh more than 100 pounds, eating up to 20% of their body weight in a single day. Silver carp are known for jumping from the water when scared. Hundreds of videos on YouTube offer a terrifying vision of what the Milwaukee River could look like with dozens of Asian silver carp leaping as high as 15 feet from the water as boats pass by. For Milwaukee, where so much of the Downtown revival has been connected to the river’s rebirth as a major recreational attraction, the effect of a carp invasion could be catastrophic. “Milwaukee’s lake and rivers are its history and future,” Kristen Settle of Visit Milwaukee said. “With more than 120 water-related companies calling Milwaukee home, any compromise to our waterways would likely have a huge economic impact—not only on our tourism industry, but also on our entire economic engine as a city.” The results of a microbiological study of the carp discovered past the barrier, which could offer clues as to how the fish got to that part of the river, are expected to be released later this summer. Comment at shepherdexpress.com.
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NEWS&VIEWS::FEATURE
Changing the Constitution? Convention to pass balanced budget amendment poses dangers to civil liberties ::BY ELIZABETH ELVING
I
n June, the Wisconsin State Assembly voted to join a multistate call for adding a Balanced Budget Amendment (BBA) to the U.S. Constitution. Under this measure, the BBA would be passed, not through Congress (as every other amendment has been), but through a state-led constitutional convention. Such an event has occurred exactly once before—in 1787, with George Washington presiding. The Founding Fathers met in Philadelphia with the purpose of revising the Articles of Confederation and ended up drafting what became the constitution. Were a constitutional convention to happen today, many legal experts agree, there’d be nothing to stop it from spiraling well beyond its mandate once again. “The predominant opinion is that a constitutional convention can go in any direction that the representatives want it to go,” says Edward Fallone, a professor at Marquette University Law School. “They can consider not just specified subject matter, but anything they want.” This movement has attracted a succession of states over the last few decades and recently enjoyed a surge of support among conservative lawmakers and special interest groups. Wisconsin’s resolution was introduced by Sen. Chris Kapenga (R-Delafield) and passed in the Assembly by a 54-41 vote—with all Democrats and seven Republicans voting against it. Article V of the constitution requires two-thirds (or 34) of the states to issue a call for this convention before it can take place. If the Wisconsin State Senate approves Kapenga’s resolution, Wisconsin will be state number 28.
A Balanced Budget Supporters of Kapenga’s proposal have praised the BBA as a countermeasure against the $20 trillion-and-counting national debt. A balanced budget might look to some like a good idea in the shadow of that towering number, but, as many have pointed out, a new amendment is not needed to achieve one. “If they want a balanced budget, let them do it,” says Sen. Fred Risser (D-Madison), who voted against the proposal when it went before the Senate Committee on Financial Services, Constitution and Federalism in March. “They’ve got the process to do it. They’ve got control of Congress. They’ve got the White House. All they have to do is do it.” Of course, submitting an actual budget would require them to move past the appealing notion of “balance” and get into some unpleasant specifics, like raising taxes or cutting popular programs. Jay Heck, executive director of Common Cause in Wisconsin, argues that supporting the BBA allows lawmakers to sidestep those details while still presenting themselves as fiscal conservatives. “If they enunciate that they’re going to cut Social Security, Medicare or Aid to Families with Dependent Children, those are difficult things to explain to your constituents,” he says. “So they say, ‘I’m for a bal8 | AUGUST 10, 2017
anced budget amendment.’” According to the resolution’s lead sponsor, Rep. Kathy Bernier (R-Chippewa Falls), a BBA is more about reining in the debt and holding the federal government accountable. A constitutional convention is needed to accomplish this, she says, because “the states have no authority over Congress to do it any other way.” Critics worry that a BBA would harm the economy by blocking all deficit spending— preventing the federal government from intervening during recessions or addressing crises like natural disasters or national security threats. Even more than that, they fear that the BBA is really just an excuse to get the convention movement off the ground—that, once formed, there’d be nothing to prevent a runaway convention with delegates suggesting all manner of ideological tweaks and procedural hurdles far beyond the scope of a balanced budget. “No matter what they say, the purpose is to get a group together and start fussing with the entire document,” Risser says. “There’s no purpose for a constitutional convention unless you want to rewrite the whole thing.” For opponents of the constitutional convention movement, this is where it really starts to get scary.
A Runaway Convention As the term “runaway convention” suggests, there’s no telling what would happen if representatives decided to veer off course, but a convention would be a unique opportunity to fast-track existing agendas. Delegates would likely be selected by state leaders, and the majority of state governments at this time are dominated by Republicans. Consider those facts together, and a few possible outcomes start to emerge. “I think everything we’ve seen in Wisconsin and nationally in the last couple of years would be really telling of what we might expect to see,” says Mel Barnes, legal and policy associate for Planned Parenthood of Wisconsin, “except without any check on that power or normal process for it to go through.” Barnes says that a constitutional convention in today’s political environment could pose a threat to reproductive rights and access to women’s health care, in general. If, for example, delegates wanted to turn their focus to abortion restrictions or cutting federal funding for Planned Parenthood during the convention, there would be no legal mechanism to stop them. In a March testimony, ACLU-Wisconsin listed reproductive rights and gun control among the subjects that might come under consideration. The organization’s executive director, Chris Ott, says that, in addition to those issues, proposed changes could infringe on any number of civil rights, undermining principles as fundamental as freedom of religion and freedom of speech. “A lot of the rights that the framers gave us way back in the 18th century actually protect us pretty well in the 21st,” Ott says. “Instead of starting over, we need to defend and make good on the Constitution and Bill of Rights that we already have.” Rep. Fred Kessler (D-Milwaukee) says the convention would “clearly go beyond the mandate” of a BBA and could attempt such wide-ranging changes as obstructing immigrants’ paths to citizenship, promoting taxpayer-funded religious education and limiting voting rights. He says that, while the balanced budget amendment may be the main goal for a handful of conservatives, “there are some really substantial other motivators.” In spite of these concerns, Bernier says that a runaway convention is unlikely. Were some delegates to discuss changes beyond a BBA, she says, leaders would declare their actions out of order and bring them back on task. If this didn’t work, they would likely adjourn the event until states agreed to focus on balancing the budget. She also points out that any amendment would still have to be approved by three-fourths of the states (as outlined in Article V) before being ratified—meaning delegates would still have to sell their changes to the public before anything went into effect. “If it’s horribly flawed, it will not be ratified by 38 states, and it will be a moot point,” she says. The three-fourths requirement is part of why passing amendments is so difficult and could be a powerful safeguard against any
radical changes proposed in a convention. However, some legal analysts have suggested that delegates could simply modify or remove that step once convened. Depending on interpretation, an Article V convention could endow representatives with near-limitless control over one of the country’s founding documents. Opponents caution against giving anyone that kind of power, regardless of ideology. “It would be a serious mistake for either party to rewrite the constitution,” Risser says.
Special Interests and Public Opinion While the national mood may be primed for spontaneous popular uprisings, the constitutional convention movement isn’t one of them. The American Legislative and Exchange Council (ALEC) has been pushing for an Article V convention for decades, supplying state lawmakers with model legislation in pursuit of the magic number 34. According to Professor Fallone, these groups want to impede the democratic process by imposing limits on the federal government that make it harder to enact changes, even if those changes have majority support. Kapenga’s proposals (which include a resolution establishing procedural rules and a bill outlining the delegate selection) have not received much popular support in Wisconsin. Thanks to the redistricting that followed the 2010 election, they don’t really need it. “I think the only thing legislators were hearing from their constituents is that this is a bad idea, and they shouldn’t do it,” Heck says. “But, because of the way this state is gerrymandered, a lot of the Republicans say, ‘Well, I don’t care what my constituents say. I do care what Wisconsin Manufacturers & Commerce and Wisconsin Club for Growth and ALEC say. So I’ll go with that.’” The U.S. Supreme Court recently agreed to consider Gill v. Whitford, which concerns partisan gerrymandering in Wisconsin. Kessler, an expert on redistricting, says that the outcome of this case could loosen Republicans’ grip on state legislatures, which is a big part of why the convention is a priority for them right now. “I think they want to extend their control,” he says. The push for a constitutional convention lost some steam earlier this year with several states rescinding their calls. Wisconsin’s joining could reverse that momentum, encouraging other conservative-leaning states to get on board. But the chances of that happening are unclear. Republicans control the Wisconsin State Senate, but some have expressed reservations about the idea, including Majority Leader Sen. Scott Fitzgerald (R-Juneau). “I do get some encouragement from the fact that there’s been bipartisan opposition to this,” Ott says. “A broad spectrum of groups that are not often allies have come out in opposition. I think that speaks to the need to proceed with caution, or not to proceed at all.” For now, many legal experts and lawmakers still regard the constitutional convention as a remote possibility, but a terribly dangerous one, nonetheless. Comment at shepherdexpress.com. n SHEPHERD EXPRESS
E
NEWS&VIEWS::SAVINGOURDEMOCRACY ( AUG. 10 -16, 2017 )
ach week, the Shepherd Express will serve as a clearinghouse for any and all activities in the greater Milwaukee area that peacefully push back against discriminatory, reactionary or authoritarian actions and policies of the Trump administration, and other activities that promote social justice. We will publicize and promote actions, demonstrations, planning meetings, teach-ins, party-building meetings, drinking/discussion gettogethers or any other actions that are directed toward fighting back to preserve our liberal democratic system.
Thursday, Aug. 10
Drinking Liberally West Allis @ Studz Pub Sports Bar & Grill (6833 W. National Ave.), 6:30-9:30 p.m.
Drinking Liberally West Allis meets on the second Thursday of the month and is a time for like-minded people to get together to discuss the resistance, or just unwind and have a good time.
Waukesha County Organizing Co-op Meeting @ New Berlin Public Library (15105 W. Library Lane), 6:30 p.m.
Citizen Action Wisconsin is hosting a co-op meeting for the upstart Waukesha County Organizing Co-op. Questions
addressed will include: Who are Citizen Action Wisconsin? What issues are they working on? What does this work look like in Waukesha County? And also, How can I join?
Saturday, Aug. 12
Greater Milwaukee Green Party Monthly Meeting @ Milwaukee Public Library (2566 S. Kinnickinnic Ave.), 10:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m.
The Greater Milwaukee Green Party will meet on Saturday to push forward their goals of grassroots democracy, environmental wisdom, social justice and sustainable economics.
Peace Action Wisconsin: Stand for Peace @ The corner of Sherman Boulevard and North Avenue, noon-1 p.m.
Every Saturday from noon-1 p.m., concerned citizens join with Peace Action Wisconsin to protest war. Signs will be provided for those who need them. Protesters are encouraged to stick around for conversation and coffee afterwards.
Foxconn Listening Session @ Tippecanoe Church (125 Saveland Ave.), noon-1:30 p.m.
This is a chance to let your voice be heard about the $3 billion deal with Foxconn. State Reps. Jonathan Brostoff and Christine Sinicki will be in attendance, along with State Sen. Chris Larson.
Tuesday, Aug. 15
Close MSDF Coalition Meeting @ Ex-Prisoners Organizing Headquarters (2821 N. Fourth St., Suite 108), 6-7 p.m.
Ex-Prisoners Organizing is fighting to close the Milwaukee Secure Detention Facility because of harsh conditions. They will
be meeting at their headquarters to discuss the next steps in furthering their cause.
Wednesday, Aug. 16
Refuel the Resistance @ Bounce Milwaukee (2801 S. Fifth Court), 5-8 p.m.
Every Wednesday, Bounce Milwaukee offers a space to organize (and a free drink to anyone who brings evidence of resistance action in the past week—including protest signs, emails to elected officials or a selfie at the capital).
Happy Hour Promoting Peace @ Chic Underground (770 N. Jefferson St.), 6-8 p.m.
Queens Healing Queens is hosting a happy hour for those interested to “come together, network and discuss ways to bring peace into our community.” Peace cards will be available to send to victims of violence. To submit to this column, please send a brief description of your action, including date and time, to savingourdemocracy@shepex.com. Together, we can fight to minimize the damage that this administration has planned for our great country. Comment at shepherdexpress.com. n
NEWS&VIEWS::POLL
You Doubt Republicans Will Work with Democrats on Health Care Last week we asked you if, after failing to repeal Obamacare, Republicans would be willing to work with Democrats to make bipartisan repairs to the current health care system. You said: n Yes: 26% n No: 74%
What Do You Say? For whatever reason, will Donald Trump fail to serve a full term as president? n Yes n No Vote online at shepherdexpress.com. We’ll publish the results of this poll in next week’s issue.
SHEPHERD EXPRESS
AUGUST 10, 2017 | 9
NEWS&VIEWS::TAKINGLIBERTIES
Why Cutting Legal Immigration Hurts All American Workers ::BY JOEL MCNALLY
T
he outrageously unqualified Republican “non-politician” who won the presidency has created so much political chaos it’s easy to forget all the buttoned-down, professional Republican politicians who embarrassed themselves during their party’s presidential primary by promising to be just as bad—or even worse. It all came rushing back when Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker joined Donald Trump at the White House to proclaim a fantastic “oncein-a-century” jobs bonanza for Wisconsin that only required $3 billion in Wisconsin taxpayer subsidies and believing the political promises of Trump and Walker. But there was another more immediate consequence of the warm reunion between the president and Walker, an opponent Trump once bragged about beating “like a little boy.” A week after their reconciliation, Trump announced his support for one of the worst ideas Walker came up with during his short-lived presidential campaign. With Trump playing to the racist, lowest common denominator among Republican voters by attacking undocumented Mexican immigrants as murderers and rapists, Walker vowed to out-Trump Trump. He promised not only to crack down on illegal immigration, but to attack legal immigration, as well. In fact, Trump was a real piker for only promising to build a multi-billion-dollar wall between the U.S. and Mexico; Walker said we should consider the possibility of walling off Canada, as well. This was toward the end of Walker’s presidential run and ridicule was growing. Cutting legal immigration was too much, even for Trump (on the campaign trail, Trump said he wanted to encourage legal immigration and strongly opposed cutting the number of legal immigrants).
Trump Distracts by Attacking Legal Immigrants That was then, and this is now. The week after Walker dropped by the White House, Trump announced he wanted to slash the number of legal immigrants admitted to the U.S. every year in half from a million to half a million. Sure, it could just be coincidence. Trump was going through a rough patch. The U.S. Senate had just shattered Trump’s dreams of destroying health care for 22 million people. Firings were piling up bodies outside the White 10 | A U G U S T 1 0 , 2 0 1 7
House. Worst of all, a special prosecutor was continuing to investigate collusion between the Trump campaign (including family members) and the Russian government to subvert the U.S. presidential election—just because it was against the law. A surefire way for Trump to lift his spirits when he’s down is to stir up more anti-immigrant and anti-transgender hatred and then fly off to West Virginia to bask in the tumultuous cheers of delirious supporters with faces like clenched fists. But it turned out to be exactly the wrong time for any president who wanted economic growth to suddenly propose gutting legal immigration. The truth about America’s aging workforce has finally caught up with the ignorant, anti-immigrant bigotry Trump rode to his unexpected election. Nearly 1,500 economists across the political spectrum—Republican, Democratic and independent, including six Nobel laureates—had just explained to Trump in a letter why there was “near universal agreement” among economists that cutting legal immigration would sabotage the economy and likely lead to another recession. That’s why many conservative Republicans, including House Speaker Paul Ryan, immediately responded negatively that Trump’s proposal to whack legal immigration would be economically disastrous because current levels of immigration were necessary to replace the enormous numbers of aging baby boomers now retiring at a rate of 10,000 every day. Jeremy Robbins, executive director of New American Economy, a pro-immigration, progrowth economic advocacy coalition, provided the compelling facts to politicians in a Washington Post op-ed. With U.S. birth rates at an alltime low and low unemployment in an economic recovery, just half of native-born Americans are of prime working age (25 to 64), while 72% of all immigrants are. Immigrants fill employment shortages in both higher and lower ends of the economy. They’re twice as likely as native-born Americans to be physicians, surgeons and home health aides. Despite accounting for just 14% of the population, immigrants are nearly 30% of all new entrepreneurs creating American businesses that employ 6 million workers. One in every 10 Americans who works at a private company works for an immigrant. Cutting legal immigration wouldn’t create more jobs for native-born Americans, as Trump and Walker have claimed, Robbins said. It would do just the opposite. “Drastic cuts to legal immigration levels would hurt economic growth and result in fewer jobs for Americans,” Robbins wrote. “Limiting immigration to the U.S. is a grave mistake,” seconded Mark Zandi, chief economist at Moody’s Analytics and an advisor to Mitt Romney’s 2012 Republican presidential campaign. “The only way to meaningfully increase U.S. economic growth on a sustained basis anytime soon is to increase immigration.” Maybe Trump should have grabbed onto Walker’s other dumb idea instead and started talking about building another beautiful wall to stop all those marauding hordes of Canadian rapists. Comment at shepherdexpress.com. n SHEPHERD EXPRESS
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s we all know, Milwaukee is made up of distinct neighborhoods with different access to resources and amenities, but what’s often overlooked is that Milwaukee neighborhoods have very different access and exposure to tobacco products and advertising. Not surprisingly, residents of North Side neighborhoods—predominantly comprising African Americans with lower incomes—have far more opportunities to buy tobacco products than residents of more affluent, white neighborhoods, such as the Upper East Side and the suburbs. The disparities may not be obvious, since most people shop close to home and aren’t aware of what’s for sale in stores across town. But the data prove it. According to Counter Tools, in the 53206 North Side neighborhood, there are 65 tobacco retailers for 28,840 people (2.3 per 1,000 people), compared to just 27 tobacco retailers for 36,248 people in the predominantly white and affluent 53211 Upper East Side neighborhood (0.7 per 1,000 people). This is especially troubling for the young people who live on the North Side, as they’ve easy access to tobacco products during a time in their lives when it’s easy to get hooked. Plus, youth on the North Side of Milwaukee are also heavily targeted with menthol advertising and fruit-flavored tobacco products, which appeal to young people. With nearly 1 in 4 Milwaukee retailers selling tobacco to underage youth during Wisconsin Wins compliance checks, it is actually easier for many Milwaukee youth to get fruit-flavored cigars than actual fruit. Last summer, local tobacco prevention advocates, such as the City of Milwaukee Tobacco-Free Alliance, Wisconsin African American Tobacco Prevention Network, Wisconsin Tobacco Prevention and Poverty Network, Wisconsin Hispanic Latino Tobacco Prevention Network and Tobacco-Free Suburban Milwaukee and Ozaukee County, conducted retail scans to learn more about tobacco sales and advertising in different parts of the city. According to the Milwaukee Collaborative Project Data Report, they found the following: The North Side (zip codes 53209, 53206 and 53205) has three times as many tobacco retailers within 500 feet of schools as compared to the Upper East Side and suburban areas (zip codes 53217, 53211, 53220 and 53110). 35% of retailers on the North Side displayed e-cigarettes near candy as compared to 9% on the Upper East Side and suburban areas. 35% of retailers on the North Side sold flavored little cigars (cigarillos) near candy as compared to 7% on the Upper East Side and suburban areas. 81% of retailers on the North Side sold cigarillos for less than $1 as compared to 52% on the Upper East Side and suburban areas. The North Side had twice as much outdoor menthol advertising at stores as did the Upper East Side and suburban areas. (Menthol cigarettes are more addictive and harder to quit than regular cigarettes.) Taken together, the easy access to tobacco products in predominantly African American neighborhoods translates into higher rates of tobacco-related diseases and higher smoking rates, with a smoking rate that’s nearly double the state average. This data is an alarm alerting stakeholders to take action to protect the youth of Milwaukee, particularly those on the city’s North Side. Some of the actions we could take include encouraging tobacco retailers to work with their neighborhood association (as Washington Park Partners did) to sign a “Good Business Agreement” to show their commitment to prevent youth sales, eliminate single cigarette sales and limit tobacco advertising, ensuring that tobacco retailers do an online training at witobaccocheck.org so that all employees are trained to prevent underage sales. We can also support an effort to have Milwaukee join cities such as Minneapolis, Chicago and San Francisco that have passed local laws restricting the sale of menthol cigarettes, cigarillos and e-juice, as well as limiting tobacco sales near schools.
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Brittany Goodridge is a graduate student at the UW-Milwaukee Zilber School of Public Health and conducted tobacco retail scans for the City of Milwaukee Tobacco-Free Alliance. Issue of the Week presents the Shepherd Express’ opinion on an important issue in the news. It is usually written by the Shepherd’s editor, but at times we invite someone outside of the paper who is either working in the field or has some other level of expertise. Comment at shepherdexpress.com.
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The Fitz
Ambassador Hotel Brings Back ‘Great Gatsby’ Days With Sophisticated Takes on American Classics ::BY ALISA MALAVENDA
Some of the dishes you will see on both the lunch and dinner menu. At Gin Rickamed for F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Fitz sets the tone for a look back at ey, the lounge across the marble foyer, you can get small plate bar snacks such as the remarkable period of time when creativity brought about bold aged cheddar potato chips with Aleppo pepper sour cream ($7). The cocktail menu movements in art, literature and design. The newly renovated dinmimics some of cocktails served at the hotel when it opened in the 1920s, but with ing area at the historic Ambassador Hotel gives the sense that you have a modern twist. walked into a scene from The Great Gatsby. Gatsby and his friends were Something special on the lunch menu is the chicken and waffles with Korean adventurous diners and would have sought out a place like The Fitz for chili maple syrup and pickled cucumbers ($14). The chicken in the Asian salad ($14) its elegant menu and décor. You can’t help but embrace the full dining was tea smoked and the subtle flavor complemented the crispy slaw and noodles. experience in a sophisticated, yet relaxed and comfortable atmosphere. For sandwich lovers, the Dagwood ($14) is a mile-high sandwich on Rocket Baby American classics line the menu, but the reinvented dishes come Bakery sourdough bread with an herb mayo. with a fusion of both Asian and Italian influences that translate beautiThe Fitz is also a great destination for breakfast with unique creations including fully onto dishes showcasing bold new flavors with local and unexsalted caramel waffles with roasted bananas and maple bacon peanut brittle ($10) pected ingredients. After all, in the 1920s surrealism came to the fore, or sweet corn pancakes with blueberry compote and thyme butter ($11). There are stretching the imagination with elements of surprise. Chef Jason Gorlots of savory items too that will pique your taste buds like the hot-sour pork belly man and his brilliant culinary team have done just that. and eggs ($12) or hard cider-cheddar biscuits and gravy (Sunday only, $12). One standout is the Crab Louis ($16) with lump crab tossed in dressIf you don’t have time to dine in a relaxed Roaring Twenties fashion, the third ing and nestled under a dome of baby iceberg, scattered with heirloom tomatoes, gem at the Ambassador is Deco, serving locally roasted Valentine Coffee, scratchavocado and a perfectly cooked seven-minute egg. This dish is a tableside attracmade bakery, pastry and ice cream creations by the hotel’s tion, cut by the server to the chef’s recommendation. pastry chef, Jennifer Gorman who also makes the desserts Each exciting dish comes to life like the characters in one for the Fitz. The dark chocolate pie reminiscent of French silk of Fitzgerald’s books. The crudités ($12) are crisp, fresh and pie and the coffee crunch cake were both scrumptious, but beautifully juxtaposed on the plate. The pigs in a blanket The Fitz one of the prettiest plates that graced the table at the Fitz is ($9) places house-made Chinese sausage in a rice bun and 414-345-5015 the eggless custard with salted caramel sauce, strawberry the “Rumaki”($12) is a flavorful maple chili pork belly with 2308 W. Wisconsin Ave. gelée and a thin layer of a pretzel wafer. The eggless custard Szechuan peppered chicken livers. The sweet corn risotto (Located in the had an intense vanilla flavor, but without the egg seemed with the addition of burrata was rich with a creamy texture Ambassador Hotel) a bit heavy on the gelatin, although combined with all the ($19; risotto varieties rotate) and the scallops cordon bleu other flavors it worked well. The desserts and all the restau($32) features caramelized seared scallops sitting in a Par$$-$$$ rants creative dishes are as mesmerizing as the words of a mesan broth with thin shavings of guanciale (pork cheek) thefitzmke.com Fitzgerald story. and haricot vert. The scallops seemed to bathe in the saltiHandicapped access: Yes ness of the broth and guanciale. A great idea for sharing is CC, FB, SB, RS, GF (left) Sea Scallops, Cordon Bleu, guanciale, the spatchcocked chicken for two ($35) served with black creamy polenta, parmesan broth Hours: Tu-Sa 6:30 a.m.-10 p.m., garlic butter and sides. Other menu items include duck, (right) Chicken & Waffles, maple chili syrup, porterhouse steak, a gardener’s pie and roasted fish. Su 10 a.m.-2 p.m. pickled cucumber salad
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The Village Cheese Shop Opens in Wauwatosa’s Historic Village
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::BY SHEILA JULSON
hen food aficionado Sabina Magyar wanted to open a cheese shop, there was no doubt about the location. A native of the Wauwatosa area, she was always drawn to the European feel of The Village of Wauwatosa, a historic commercial pocket nestled in the heart of the city. Magyar eventually nabbed space in the former Wauwatosa firehouse building, and after remodeling, The Village Cheese Shop (1430 Underwood Ave.) celebrated a soft opening June 17. Unique specialty cheeses are the focal point, but The Village Cheese Shop also sells edibles that pair great with cheese—cured meats, wines, artisan crackers, sweet and savory marmalades, honey and more. Magyar succeeded in bringing the European ambiance of The Village into her shop: large, blue-trimmed windows, a hardwood floor and a cheese bar, where customers can enjoy a cheese board and glass of wine, echoes the charm of Old World Dublin or Amsterdam. “We want to highlight the great cheese we have not just in Wisconsin, but in the country and worldwide,” said Magyar. A peek in the display case reveals wheels and wedges of aged cheddar, alpine Swiss, blue, aged sheep’s milk and others. Some Wisconsin standouts include Marieke Gouda, out of Thorp, Wis., formed by a Dutch woman who came to Wisconsin and started making cheese. The Marieke Gouda is an overjarige, aged over two years. “You really don’t find that a lot,” Magyar remarked. Magyar also highlighted Bleu Mont Dairy Bandaged Cheddar, cave aged for at least one year. Magyar formerly worked managing the cheese and wine areas at Glorioso’s Italian Market. While in New York, she worked in the wine business, and she’s a Certified Cheese Professional through the American Cheese Society. Customers can sample cheese and purchase varieties cut by weight. Magyar said they’d eventually begin stretching their own mozzarella. An additional case displays smoked meats, and fine Spanish and Italian olives. The specialty section stocks marmalade and jams, including Milwaukee’s 5 Lilies, and Eat This marmalade in flavors like caramelized onion. Magyar has a personal passion for marmalade; her mother crafted the condiment from fruits in the family’s garden. The pantry staple foods include Single Source Honey, Potter’s Crackers, mostarda (an Italian condiment made from mustard oil and fruit) and canned fish, caught by traditional line catching. A focused retail wine section offers approachable wines for around $15-$20 a bottle. Unique are the 12-ounce cans—yep, wine in a can—of Oregonbased Union Wine’s quality varietals of Underwood Wine, such as rosé and pinot noir. Customers can grab a seat at the cheese bar and enjoy a changing menu of cheese and meat boards and bar bites. Magyar has just rolled out a kitchen menu featuring four sandwiches and two salads. Try the Tosa Muffuletta sandwich with soppressata, mortadella, provolone and giardiniera on a seeded roll; or the Greek on Greens salad with mixed greens, sheep’s milk feta, olives, thyme and balsamic vinaigrette. The Village Cheese Shop also offers hot ham and rolls on Sunday. During the short time The Village Cheese Shop has been open, Magyar said it’s been very well received, despite opening during construction happening throughout The Village. They also offer gift baskets, custom trays and gift certificates. For more information, visit villagecheesetosa.com.
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Ron Henningfeld of Hill Valley Dairy
Accomplished Cheese Maker Forms Hill Valley Dairy ::BY SHEILA JULSON
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hen Ron Henningfeld of Hill Valley Dairy made his first batch of cheese at home many years ago, he laughingly recalled that it didn’t turn out great; however, he remained determined to learn the art of cheese making. At the time, he taught high school science and agriculture for the Delavan-Darien School District, but he still had time to learn cheese making with an eye toward pursuing it as a career. Henningfeld took classes and got a cheese making apprenticeship required in Wisconsin to get a cheese makers license. He trained with a couple of cheese makers, including Bob Wills, owner of Cedar Grove Cheese and Clock Shadow Creamery. When Wills opened Clock Shadow Creamery in 2012, Henningfeld, who by then had transitioned out of teaching, served as manager and cheese maker. While at Clock Shadow, he trained others in the art of making small-batch, quality cheese. Three years ago, Henningfeld and his wife had their first child. He left Clock Shadow to be a stay-at-home parent, but his passion for making cheese remained. Last summer, he formed Hill Valley Dairy to make and sell his own cheese. His entrepreneurial spirit comes from growing up on Romari Farm in East Troy, Wis., a dairy farm founded by his grandparents. Henningfeld often helped his father on the farm. “I always had it in me to work hard, but to work hard for myself and for my own business. That’s something I had in mind when I got into cheese making,” he said. SHEPHERD EXPRESS
Through Hill Valley Dairy, Henningfeld makes cheese curds and sells them fresh so customers can enjoy that fun squeak and creamy taste that comes only from just-made curds. “I only sell them the day I make them. My customers really appreciate that and know that when they’re buying cheese curds from me, they’re the freshest curds, and they haven’t been sitting on a shelf anywhere.” Henningfeld also makes small-batch white cheddar, yellow cheddar and flavored cheddars: garlic dill, habanero, tomato basil and Cajun. He rents space at Clock Shadow Creamery to make his cheese and buys milk from them. He also gets milk from Romari Farm. Henningfeld occasionally helps on the farm, which is now owned and operated by his brother. While Henningfeld noted that a lot of other cheese producers also make cheddar, his future vision is to make aged cheeses with natural rinds, open aging on a shelf versus in a cooler. “I’m going to set up some aging rooms by winter, and that will help me start making wheels of gouda and alpine-style cheeses,” he said. “Some will be aged up to eight months for a full flavor development, and those will be my signatures cheeses. I will still make curds and cheddar.” This past spring, Hill Valley Dairy received a Buy Local, Buy Wisconsin grant administered through the Wisconsin Department of Agriculture, Trade and Consumer Protection. The grant allows him to proceed faster with making more artisan-style, naturally aged cheese. He’ll partner with other young cheese makers to collaborate on the design, assembly and operation of the cheese-aging facility. Hill Valley Dairy is at the farmers markets in Lake Geneva, Burlington, Mukwonago and East Troy. The cheese is also available at Simon’s Gardens in New Berlin, the 2894 On Main coffee shop in East Troy and Lake Geneva Country Meats. For more information, visit facebook.com/ hillvalleydairy.
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Jimmy Nelson Putting Together An All -Time Brewers Season THE CREW’S ACE IS IN THE MIDST OF A HISTORICALLY GREAT CAMPAIGN ::BY MATTHEW J. PRIGGE
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his past Sunday, as Jimmy Nelson was finishing up his (ultimately wasted) eightinning gem against the Rays, “Disciples of Ueck-
er” blogger Ryan Topp asked Twitter, “Jimmy Nelson is having the best season for a #Brewers starter since when? [Yovani Gallardo] in 2011?” And, sure enough, checking out the numbers, Big Jim is indeed having a Brewers season for the ages. He has a 3.24 ERA, good for eighth best in the league and ranks among league leaders in innings pitched and strikeouts. His WAR of 3.1 ranks 10th among NL pitchers this year and is already better than any of Gallardo’s years in Milwaukee. Nelson is on pace for a WAR of more than 4.5 this year, which would place him in some pretty exclusive Brewers company: Only 21 Brewers starting pitchers have ever topped that mark in a single season, the most recent being CC Sabathia in 2008. If Nelson continues on his hot streak (he has an ERA of 2.60 over his last 10 starts), he has a chance to 16 | A U G U S T 1 0 , 2 0 1 7
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crack 5 WAR—a mark that only 11 Brewers starters have ever reached. Nelson also has an ERA+ of 133. Only nine other qualified starters in team history have posted a better mark over a full season, the last being Ben Sheets in 2008. Fielding-independent pitching (FIP) places Nelson in even more select company, with his FIP of 3.04 (third best in the NL this year) trailing only six other qualified starters in team history and the best since Zack Greinke’s 2.98 mark in 2011.
Historic Season? More traditional numbers also show Nelson on pace for a historic season. His 3.24 ERA is a mark that qualified Brewers starters have bested just 17 times ever and only three times in the past quarter-century. Only 21 Brewers starters have ever registered a WHIP lower than Nelson’s 1.19. And when it comes to striking men out, Nelson is truly among the franchise elites. Assuming Nelson gets another nine starts, he is on pace for about 220 strikeouts, which would rank only behind Sheets’ bonkers 264 K campaign in 2004 and Teddy Higuera’s 240 K 1987. Nelson has averaged 10.04 strikeouts per nine innings this year—a pace that lags only behind Greinke’s 10.54 K/9 from 2011. But beyond just the K’s, it has been Nelson’s ability to limit walks that has aided his huge step forward this year. After leading the league in walks last season, Nelson has halved his walk rate for 2017, and his 4.65 K-to-walk ratio trails only Sheets’ 2004 team record of 8.25 among qualified starters. Barring a late-season collapse, Nelson’s 2017 will rank as one of the best seasons by a Brewers’ starter of the past decade. He has certainly been more valuable than Gallardo in ’11 and, if he stays sharp, has a chance to record the greatest full-season performance since Ben Sheets’ 2004 (which probably ranks among the two or three greatest pitching seasons in team history), Sheets’ 2008 (an underrated, injury-shortened year), or since. By any measure, Nelson has been one of the most valuable cogs in the Big Blue Machine this season and seems to be aligning himself as the anchor of the Brewers rotation for what should be a highly anticipated 2018 season. SHEPHERD EXPRESS
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Great Stories Come to Life at Milwaukee Chamber Theatre NEW SEASON BRINGS ‘DEATHTRAP,’ ‘FRANKIE AND JOHNNY IN THE CLAIRE DE LUNE’ AND MORE ::BY JEAN-GABRIEL FERNANDEZ s the new season is about to start, the Milwaukee Chamber Theatre announced its first rebranding after 42 years. Labeled “Where great stories come to life,” the initiative is both the campaign’s title and the company’s motto going forward. Milwaukee is blessed to have an active theater scene, but this also makes it hard for each company to set itself apart and justify why it exists. “A lot of times people have no idea that they are watching a Chamber show,” Managing Director Kirsten Finn says. “We have some identity issues. It has been a problem that people don’t know what our guiding principles are.” Milwaukee Chamber Theatre shares the Broadway Theatre Center in Milwaukee’s Historic Third Ward with two other companies—Skylight Music Theatre, which specializes in musical theater, and Renaissance Theaterworks, a women’s theater company—but what
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about Chamber Theatre? According to their new campaign, the quality of the writing in their plays is what makes them unique. “It has always been the writing first,” Finn explains. “What we are always looking for are good plays, not something that will sell tickets, or something we can cast a certain person in. This is what the tagline ‘Where good stories come to life’ means. Primarily, we are storytellers.” When MCT was established in 1975, founders Montgomery Davis and Ruth Schudson wanted it to bring great works of literature to the stage, starting with George Bernard Shaw’s Don Juan in Hell. Although MCT has changed a lot since their founding days, they still aim to bring meaningful stories to Milwaukee audiences. Rather than a new beginning, MCT’s branding initiative is the reaffirmation of the principles that have led the company since its foundation.
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The Mysteries of Life
The new season of MCT, starting Aug. 10 and named “The Mysteries of Life,” aims to embody the principles of Milwaukee Chamber Theatre. Ira Levin’s Tony-nominated play Deathtrap opens the season with a bang. The story, showcasing cash-strapped author Sidney Bruhl contemplating murder to steal his student’s work, is known as Broadway’s longest-running comedy-thriller. Brought to life by director Michael Cotey, the play will take the audience by surprise by subverting expectations at every turn. Like every MCT production, Deathtrap will play every day except on Monday and Tuesday. Those who can’t afford a regular ticket can attend a Community Building Night at 8 p.m. on Saturday, Aug. 19, where all tickets will be half-price. (Tickets are also always half-price 30 minutes before every regular show.) Theater enthusiasts may take advantage of the offer to watch the season’s other shows, including Frankie and Johnny in the Claire de Lune, Terrence McNally’s bittersweet comedy about coworkers revealing themselves to each other after a night spent together. They may also want to see Tom Dudzick’s Miracle on South Division Street, a holiday comedy about the bonds that tie a family together. The Brothers Size is another highlight. Written by critically acclaimed playwright Tarell Alvin McCraney, co-author of the Oscar-winning film Moonlight, The Brothers Size, a tender drama about brotherhood, stars African American actors brought together by, in Finn’s words, a “gorgeous script.” Director Marti Gobel also brought the first part of McCraney’s trilogy, In the Red and Brown Water, to Marquette University’s stage in 2014. The final part of the trilogy, Marcus; or the Secret of Sweet, will be read during the run of The Brothers Size on Monday, March 12 at the Skylight bar, giving Milwaukee audiences a chance to hear the whole story; the reading is pay-what-you-can. The Brothers Size, maybe more so than the season’s other plays, embodies the theme of “great stories come to life.” During their annual Young Playwrights Festival, in which the company teaches playwriting in high schools, members of Milwaukee Chamber Theatre found a pool of talent in unexpected places. “As we reached into inner city schools, we had so many playwrights of color writing about people of color that we had a hard time casting them,” Finn says. “We are maintaining our priorities in terms of what we have always done, but we’re also trying to better represent the community we are serving. We need to have professionals of color on our staff.” The 2017-2018 season will come to a close with John Patrick Shanley’s Pulitzer- and Tony-winning Doubt, concerning a nun’s crusade against what she believes are the sins of a parish priest. Deathtrap runs Aug. 10-27; Frankie and Johnny runs Sept 20-Oct 15; Miracle on South Division Street runs Nov 22-Dec 17; The Brothers Size runs Feb 21-March 18; Doubt runs April 12-29. Visit milwaukeechambertheatre.com for more information.
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::THISWEEKINMILWAUKEE FRIDAY, AUG. 11
Fiddle Fest 2.0 @ Anodyne Coffee Walker’s Point Roastery & Cafe, 8 p.m.
For the second year in a row, Anodyne Coffee is hosting a unique Milwaukee festival celebrating all things that fiddle. This year’s three acts will each showcase a distinct violin style: traditional Mariachi music from The Mariachi Panteras de Milwaukee, a rendition of Béla Bartók’s Solo Violin Sonata from Glenn Asch of the Milwaukee Symphony Orchestra and cheerful gypsy swing music from Swing Chevron. Proceeds from the event will benefit Fresh Start Learning, Inc., a Milwaukee-based non-profit organization that helps victims of sex trafficking.
Waukesha Blues Fest @ Naga-Waukee Park, 1 p.m.
This two-day event is all about the “roots” of American music, honoring blues, rock ’n’ roll, folk, jazz, country, soul, gospel and every classic genre in between. Attendees are invited to enjoy all-day entertainment from local and national acts such as Lil’ Ed and the Blues Imperials, Charlie Musselwhite, The Paul Nelson Band, The Kinsey Report, Ana Popovic and many more. Grab tacos or smoked beef brisket from vendors Café Esperanza and Delafield Brewhaus between sets, or check out the local art available for purchase in the art tent, including photography, pottery, jewelry and fused glass. On-site camping is an option for those who want to party through the weekend. Marika Hackman
THURSDAY, AUG. 10 Marika Hackman w/ The Big Moon @ The Back Room at Colectivo, 8 p.m.
Model-turned-musician Marika Hackman might surprise you with her résumé. Since forming a cover band with actress and supermodel Cara Delevingne when the pair were just 14 and modeling for Burberry in her early 20s, Hackman has made a serious comeup as a solo musician. She toured with Laura Marling, Alt-J and The 1975 before she even released her first full-length—the broody, electro-folk album We Slept at Last. Her sophomore effort, out earlier this year, veers away from Hackman’s previous folk leanings and right into alt-rock territory. I’m Not Your Man features her usual velvety crooning and twisted thematic undertones, as well as vocal and instrumental backing from London group The Big Moon, who join Hackman on her North American tour this summer.
Tall Tales Music Festival @ Downtown Burlington
For five years running, Burlington has opened its doors to folk, rock, country and blues musicians from around the country for its Tall Tales Music Festival. This year’s free, two-day festival on the 200 block of East Chestnut Street will feature the Nashville acts Blank Range, Harpooner, Los Colognes, Liz Cooper and the Stampede, and Coco Reilly, as well as Minneapolis’ J.E. Sunde, L.A.’s Wild Reeds, Kentucky’s Kelsey Waldon and many others, including a range of talent from Wisconsin. Other activities during the festival include a Saturday morning bike ride, a kids’ zone with bounce houses, a Friday night afterparty at the Liars’ Club Bar, and a Saturday ice cream social where attendees can meet some of the festival’s performers. For more details, visit talltalesfestival.com. (Through Saturday, Aug. 12.)
Roochie Toochie and the Ragtime Shepherd Kings @ Charles Allis Art Museum, 7:30 p.m. The American songbook is a far zanier collection than people often think of it as. The quintet Roochie Toochie and the Ragtime Shepherd Kings revisit some of the more colorful entries from that songbook, playing up the whimsy in old tunes from the wax-cylinder era with an emphasis on music from the 1890s to the 1930s. They’ll play two 40-minute sets at this event at the Charles Allis Art Museum. Expect lots of ukulele and sound effects that could have come right out of an old-time radio show.
Ron Funches @ Turner Hall Ballroom, 8 p.m.
Ron Funches has amassed success in a variety of comedic mediums over the past couple of years, making memorable appearances on late night shows, chalking up writing credits on “The Eric Andre Show” and doing voiceover work for the Trolls movie series. His brand of comedy speaks as much to his rough upbringing in Chicago as it does to his natural oddball personality (he named his latest standup tour Funch-a-Mania, in reference to his lifelong love of wrestling). You can read our interview with Funches at shepherdexpress.com. 18 | A U G U S T 1 0 , 2 0 1 7
Salaam
Salaam @ Colectivo Lakefront Café, 6 p.m.
What’s better than relaxing on a lakefront patio, breeze blowing in your hair and a craft beer in your hand while you listen to live music? (Get back to us when you have an answer.) For the latest installment of Colectivo’s Live on the Lakefront Patio series, Indiana-based band Salaam will soundtrack an evening of world music built around a framework of Iraqi maqam—a musical genre with roots dating back at least 400 years. The trio enjoys putting new twists on the traditional genre, incorporating styles like rock, bluegrass and jazz to make the music their own. NPR’s “All Things Considered” described Salaam’s music as “[transposing] a genre of music few Americans are even aware of into a sonic realm that feels enchanting and exotic, while still strangely familiar.” SHEPHERD EXPRESS
Read our daily events guide, Today in Milwaukee, on shepherdexpress.com
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SATURDAY, AUG. 12 Milwaukee Dragon Boat Festival @ Veterans Park, 8 a.m.-4:30 p.m.
There will be live Chinese folk music. There will be delicious, authentic Asian food. And, most notably, there will be more than 45 teams (with 21 people on each team!) gliding full speed through the lagoon in hopes of winning Milwaukee’s fifth annual dragon boat race. Hosted by the Milwaukee Chinese Community Center, the Milwaukee Dragon Boat Festival will shine light on Chinese culture, offering community members hands-on opportunities to learn about and participate in traditions like lantern making, the dragon parade, the Chinese language and, of course, the dragon boat race. The race has six divisions and is made up of a first round, a semi-final round and the championship round at the end of the day.
Kristin Diable @ Shank Hall, 8 p.m.
When Kristin Diable turned down a guaranteed spot on NBC’s “The Voice” in 2012, she had the purity of her art in mind. She didn’t want to sell out to the world of corporate music. She’s put a lot of hard work into her career since then, putting out two full-length albums that are exactly what she wanted them to be: unformulated, bluesy rock that both comes from and speaks to the heart. Her stripped-down performance at Shank Hall will feature her on guitar with backup from a drummer and keyboardist. Attendees can expect a mix of her own material and some songs by other artists like Nina Simone (her favorite musician) and J.J. Cale; she recently released a cover of “Magnolia” by the latter.
AUGUST 25, 2017 • 5-8PM CATALANO SQUARE HISTORIC THIRD WARD
sample margaritas & enjoy entertainment FOOD AVAILABLE FOR PURCHASE & A CASH BAR FEATURING BEER FROM BROKEN BAT BREWERY AT THE END OF THE NIGHT WE’LL CROWN A BEST MARGARITA WINNER Kristin Diable
WEDNESDAY, AUG. 16 Charles McPherson @ Jazz Estate, 8 and 10 p.m.
Over the more than half century he’s spent in music, Charles McPherson has brushed shoulders with just about every jazz legend imaginable. In addition to his performances with the legendary Charles Mignus (with whom he recorded for more than a decade), the alto sax player has also collaborated with Art Farmer, Kenny Drew, the Carnegie Hall Jazz Orchestra and Wynton Marsalis’ Lincoln Center Jazz Orchestra, while touring with greats like Lionel Hampton, Dizzy Gillespie and Nat Adderley. In recent years, he primarily leads his own band as he continues to expand on the bebop that’s always been at the core of his music.
SHEPHERD EXPRESS
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A&E::INREVIEW
A&E::PERFORMINGARTSWEEK
THEATRE
everyone’s stories are true As author, poet and playwright Sabley Sabin writes, introducing her new play, everyone’s stories are true, “We clear our throats to draw the listeners from their preoccupations, and there is that precious moment of attention. Sometimes, the best we can do is say, ‘um,’ and hesitate. And sometimes we push our words, out loud, in the direction of the listener, and we become known.” Replacing Village Playhouse of Wauwatosa’s summer production, Little Women, The Musical, is the world premiere of Sabin’s three-act play, which Village Playhouse of Wauwatosa described as “a collage of human experience, reflections on language, relationships and our need to both connect and stand alone.” Human communication can bring us closer together or further separate us; our lives are a varying combination of interpersonal interaction and isolation, of connecting and disconnecting from one another. Such is the stuff of everyone’s stories are true. (John Jahn) Aug. 11-27 at Inspiration Studios, 1500 S. 73rd St. For tickets, call 414-207-4879 or visit villageplayhouse.org.
5 Blue-Haired Ladies Sitting on a Green Park Bench Seven months ago, a coterie of elderly women, by chance, gathered at the same park bench. These gather-
ings have become somewhat routine by the time we first meet them. John A. Penzotti’s nostalgia-laced, heartwarming comedy, 5 Blue-Haired Ladies Sitting on a Green Park Bench, is sure to strike a resounding chord with women (and men) of a certain age. Riffing off one another’s tales, reminiscences and acute observations, these ladies collectively show us that the old saying that “age is just a number” has, indeed, much truth to it. As with all Memories Dinner Theater productions, a plated meal comes with the performance (buffet on Tuesday, Aug. 29). (John Jahn) Aug. 15-30 at Memories Dinner Theater, 1077 Lake Drive, Port Washington. For tickets, call 262-284-6850 or visit memoriesballroom.com.
The Comedy of Othello … Kinda Sorta Written and directed by Patrick Schmitz and starring the Shakesparody Players, The Comedy of
Othello…Kinda Sorta continues a lengthening line of parodic treatments of classic William Shakespeare plays. (Previous Kinda Sorta productions have been askew skewerings of Romeo and Juliet and Hamlet.) The Tragedy of Othello, the Moor of Venice, written in or around 1603 and based upon Cinthio’s A Moorish Captain (1565), is, perhaps, literature’s finest rendering of the themes of love, jealousy, betrayal and revenge. A comedic treatment of this tragic story will be something to behold. (John Jahn) Aug. 10-12 at Next Act Theatre, 255 S. Water St. For tickets, call 414-278-0765 or visit nextact.org.
Fool For Love
Pulitzer Prize-winning author, playwright and actor Sam Shepard (who just passed away this past July 27) wrote Fool for Love in 1983. The “fools” of the play are May and her ex, Eddie, who have, by chance, once again encountered each other. Eddie is eager to reunite for good; May wants nothing to do with such a plan. The play’s Old Man character, no mere observer of the strife-ridden interactions between the erstwhile lovers, is, in fact, a central player in this emotional drama. As reviewer Elyse Sommer once astutely observed: “Like all of Shepard’s best plays, despite the evocative Mojave Desert outside the motel room in which it plays out, the landscape here is of the emotions…” (John Jahn) Aug. 10-19 at the Alchemist Theatre, 2569 S. Kinnickinnic Ave. For tickets, visit brownpapertickets.com and search for “Fool For Love” (or event number 3035681).
DANCE
What’s Tappenin’? Tap is that highly kinetic form of dance in which sound waves generated by shoes striking the floor at
various paces and volumes create just as much a sense of story, action and emotion as, say, facial expressions or upper-body movement. What’s Tappenin’? showcases multiple styles of the dance form (believed to have originated in the mid-1800s) that not only highlight its long traditions but, as Danceworks says, will include “a few fun surprises along the way.” (John Jahn) Aug. 11-13 at Danceworks Studio Theatre, 1661 N. Water St. For tickets, call 414-277-8480 or visit danceworksmke. org/purchase-tickets.
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‘Coraline’
THEATRE
Neil Gaiman’s Enchantingly Disorienting ‘Coraline’ ::BY RUSS BICKERSTAFF
N
eil Gaiman’s story of a young girl trapped between worlds comes to life on an intimate stage as Bad Example Productions presents Coraline The Musical. Madeline McNichols plays a British girl exploring a strange world in the last few days before the start of a new school year. Curious about a locked door in the drawing room of her house, Coraline unlocks it to find a world very much like her own—complete with her Other Mother and Other Father—who have creepy button eyes and a desire to keep her forever. Donna Kummer competently directs the melodic disorientation of the music, which delivers a very bizarre world to the stage amid strange characters populating stranger scenes. Though there is minimal costuming, scenery and lighting, the cast brings together an impressively otherworldly feeling. Director David Kaye has done a good job of harnessing the cast into a dizzying energy. Kendall Yorkey is a broadly smiling menace as the psychotically villainous Other Mother. Tess Masias and Zachary Dean are pleasantly odd as a pair of retired actresses on both sides of the door. Josh Perkins is comically exasperating as a neighbor who trains mice upstairs from Coraline. Rob Schreiner plays dual roles as realistic house cat on one side of the door and casually anthropomorphized feline on the other side. The anarchic energy of the production is so compelling that it threatens to plunge the whole production into the all-out combustion of an unpleasant theatrical noise. McNichols is so charmingly heroic in the lead role that it never falls apart or explodes into abstraction. Her sharp Coraline wit brings it all together quite beautifully. Through Aug. 13 at the Tenth Street Theatre, 628 N. 10th St. For tickets, visit coralinemusical.brownpapertickets.com. SHEPHERD EXPRESS
A&E::INREVIEW
THEATRE
HIT THE STREETS! !#%/0!.Ĺ? +3
Boomer Memories Echo ‘Beyond Flesh & Blood’ at Alchemist Theatre ::BY RUSS BICKERSTAFF
T
heater can get very, very complicated with lights, set, costuming and such. There is a pleasantly earthbound magic about a show that features just one person on an uncluttered stage speaking stories of memory. Such is the case with Beyond Flesh & Blood, in which 72-year-old Dave Hendrickson relates stories of a baby boomer who has spent much of his life in Milwaukee. There is a casual intensity about the gravity of memory as Hendrickson’s face echoes and reflects the calm emotion in his voice. A sense of peace and wisdom permeates it all. Even when he speaks of abstracts, there’s no mysticism beneath bushy eyebrows amid the lines worn into the countenance of his experience. From a trip with his father to reluctantly hunt squirrels to a classroom at the University of Wisconsin and beyond, Hendrickson moves through the years with a steady rhythm. His life filters through warm language from a beatnik poet to life as a draftsman searching for direction. There is talk of war and madness in Vietnam, but even horror is spoken of with a sense of peace. Hendrickson coaxes a classy, natural poetry into the narration that resonates through the occasional end rhyme. His relaxed presence onstage in the midst of the many jagged edges of a life narrative can seem almost subconsciously inspiring in places. Even the great spiritual mysteries of life and the universe can seem like everyday strangers passing by on a sidewalk somewhere as Hendrickson strolls from narrative to narrative on a cozy, little stage.
City Street Fashion Instagram-Style Saturday, August 26 | 10:00–1:00 Explore downtown Milwaukee in this hands-on street photography class with The New York Times photographer Daniel Arnold.
Register online at wisconsinart.org Daniel Arnold, Untitled, photograph, 2017 (detail)
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when you shop at www.ShepStore.com SHEPHERD EXPRESS
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A&E::FILM
A&E::FILMCLIPS Complete film coverage online at shepherdexpress.com
Annabelle: Creation R
This fourth film in The Conjuring universe is the franchise’s second prequel. Set in the 1950s, Anthony LaPaglia and Miranda Otto portray doll maker Samuel Mullins and his wife, Esther; 12 years on, they still grieve their daughter’s death. Occupying a sprawling home, Esther is confined to bed while Samuel creates his dolls. Then, a young nun (Stephanie Sigman) with six orphan girls in her care becomes homeless when the local orphanage is shuttered. The bereaved Mullins take them in, instructing the new residents never to enter deceased Annabelle’s bedroom. Naturally, there’s no stifling the girls’ curiosity—although, among Annabelle’s locked-away toys is a large doll now possessed by an evil presence. Director David F. Sandberg milks each scene for maximum suspense, creatively framing the film’s scares to devastating effect. (Lisa Miller)
The Glass Castle PG-13
‘Detroit’
‘Detroit’ on Fire in Kathryn Bigelow’s Historic Drama ::BY DAVID LUHRSSEN
W
as the violence that erupted in Detroit in July, 1967 a rebellion or a riot? The words chosen can signify your perspective and interpretation. In director Kathryn Bigelow’s gripping enactment of those events, Detroit, the rebellion, sparked by a genuine pushback at oppression, lapsed into a riot of theft of unthinking destruction without entirely losing sight of the frustrations fueling the unrest. The events depicted by Bigelow and her longtime collaborator, Mark Boal, have been prosecuted and litigated several times with conflicting testimony and unsatisfying verdicts. Detroit is a generally plausible dramatization, focused on the infamous murders at the Algiers Hotel but beginning at the beginning—the police raid on a black-owned after-hours joint that ignited the upheaval. The raid looks like one of those shakedowns that were the norm at many big city police departments in those years, usually directed at bars frequented by vulnerable minority groups and culminating in patrons hauled away in paddy wagons. Only this time, the crowd pushes back, a mob gathers, chunks of cement are hurled and the police retreat. Soon 22 | A U G U S T 1 0 , 2 0 1 7
enough, someone smashes a nearby shop window and steals the bicycle on display. A Molotov cocktail is thrown at a gas station, setting the district on fire. On film as in reality, the violence spreads like a virus and is met with violence. Gov. George Romney, Mitt’s dad, dispatches state troopers and the National Guard. LBJ sends paratroops to a city whose depictions on network news resemble scenes from Vietnam. Detroit shows violence escalating, often through the unintended consequences of thoughtlessness and bigotry. Before long the narrative shifts to the Algiers Hotel, raided by Detroit police backed by troopers and guardsmen. They are drawn to the building by what sounds like gunshots. By the time they leave, three teenage African Americans are dead and the hotel’s other occupants are beaten bloody. The racism is naked, especially among Detroit cops accustomed to their role as the occupying army of the city’s black ghetto. They are especially incensed by the presence of two young white women, whom they suspect of having sex with black men. Complicating the situation is the presence of an African American security guard, Melvin Dismukes (John Boyega), who wants to do the right thing but becomes an uneasy spectator to events as they spiral out of control. The only acts of conscience come from National Guard soldiers who allow one black man to escape and eventuDetroit ally bring the white John Boyega girls to safety. Will Poulter Through much Directed by of Detroit, the Kathryn Bigelow soundtrack buzzes with the drone of Rated R newscasts, punctuated occasionally by a blast of Motown. Not unlike Bigelow’s Oscar-winning film about the U.S. occupation of Iraq, The Hurt Locker, Detroit is an immersion in a sweaty atmosphere of hostility and danger. With an ensemble cast and no major star roles, the dozen major characters are protagonists in a drama that intensifies scene by scene into fear, chaos and hatred.
Gossip columnist Jeannette Walls reveals her unusual biography in this somewhat fictionalized account based upon her book. We meet Jeannette (Brie Larson) as a young college grad working to advance her career while engaged to a conventional young man. Her normalcy is achieved despite growing up in a nomadic, dysfunctional family. The film tells Jeannette’s story in flashback, after she learns her father is terminally ill and grapples with reconnecting to her estranged parents (Woody Harrelson and Naomi Watts). (L.M.)
Nut Job 2: Nutty by Nature PG
This sequel to the critically panned The Nut Job proves three things: 1. Annoying small rodents (Alvin and the Chipmunks) are popular with children; 2. Parents will suffer most any indignity to entertain the little ones; and 3. Movie studios happily produce any film that makes them money (consider Alvin and the Chipmunks again). The Nut Job was made for $42 million, bringing in about $100 million worldwide. In the sequel, Will Arnett, Katherine Heigl, Maya Rudolph and Jackie Chan voice squirrels, a snarky pug dog and a Kung Fu master mouse. They and their animal friends band together to save their beloved park from being turned into an amusement park. Along the way, there are violent altercations and equally violent bodily functions gags. (L.M.)
[HOME MOVIES/OUT ON DIGITAL] Prizzi’s Honor Director John Huston’s late career picture, Prizzi’s Honor (1985), is a minor gem. A spoof of the post-Godfather Mafioso genre, Prizzi’s Honor runs seamlessly between mordantly humorous and murderously violent. Jack Nicholson is memorable as Charlie, a gape-mouthed, appraising mobster who falls in love with Irene (Kathleen Turner), the beautiful tax consultant who turns out to be an assassin. Anjelica Huston plays the Mafia don’s daughter in this tricky tale of love, betrayal and—yes—honor.
Obit. Most people think writing obituaries is a depressing occupation, but the team at The New York Times obituary department begs to disagree. In Vanessa Gould’s surprisingly compelling documentary, they see their work as celebrating life, not death. Out of an 800-word obit, maybe 20 words pertain to the demise of the subject. The remaining 780 comprise a mini-biography composed from well-chosen details. One criteria determines who gets written up: Their life must have been newsworthy.
1944 Unlucky in World War II, Estonia was occupied by the Soviets, then the Nazis, then the Soviets again. 1944 is perhaps the only movie shot (in part) from the perspective of the Waffen SS—an Estonian unit, some of whose members eventually switch sides. Ideology is of less concern than hatred and survival. Estonia’s most popular director, Elmo Nüganen, captures the physical and emotional brutality of war as well as the special cruelty of true believers.
Eagles of Death Metal: I Love You All the Time: Live at the Olympia in Paris The Eagles of Death Metal became an unwanted mention in the annals of rock music when their Nov. 13, 2015 concert at Paris’ The Bataclan theatre was cut short by ISIS terrorists. Eighty-nine fans died. On Feb. 16, 2016, they returned to Paris to finish the show recorded on this concert documentary. Delivering melodic, fast-paced hard rock with sweaty fervor and swagger, EODM also maintained a long moment of silence in honor of the victims. —David Luhrssen SHEPHERD EXPRESS
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A&E::VISUALART
VISUALART|PREVIEW
CERF+ Aids Wisconsin Artists Affected by Flooding ::BY TYLER FRIEDMAN
T
he social and economic emancipation of artists from the patronage system was a watershed moment in the history of art. From this point on, artists were no longer restricted to religious subject matter or subject to the questionable taste of their patrons. But autonomy came at a cost. Now artists had no one to turn to when circumstance delivered a swift kick to the pocketbook. Fortunately there are organizations like CERF+, “the leading nonprofit organization that uniquely focuses on safeguarding artists’ livelihoods nationwide.” In light of recent flooding that ravaged southwestern Wisconsin, causing millions of dollars of damage, CERF+ has offered its services to regional artists. Artists working in craft disciplines who have suffered career-threatening loss are encouraged to contact relief@cerfplus.org. Direct financial assistance includes grants up to $6,000, no-interest loans up to $9,000, booth fair waivers at craft shows and discounts on materials and equipment from suppliers and manufacturers. For information on eligibility and guidelines visit cerfplus.org.
“Members Drink & Think”
VISUALART|REVIEW
Vietnam the Inspiration for Jim Finnerty’s ‘Final-Final’ at Grove Gallery ::BY KAT KNEEVERS
P
ainting memories can be a challenge, but for veteran Jim Finnerty, they were cathartic abstractions of his experiences in Vietnam. He was studying at Milwaukee’s Layton School of Art when he enlisted at age 19 in order to, as he put it, “get it over with.” He served a three-year tour that included service during the Tet Offensive. The return home was abrupt. An article written by Nan Bialek for M magazine in 2011 describes his transition back to civilian life. “It was a 48-hour trip from the battlefield to his living room where, Finnerty says, SHEPHERD EXPRESS
‘you’re watching the war you just fought on TV.’” Finnerty went on to finish his degree at Layton and establish his graphic design firm DesignCor. His successes include designing the mascot for Irish Fest, which is still in use (sans original pipe). Finnerty said little about his wartime service to those outside his closest circle, but in 2008 was diagnosed with PTSD. As a means of grappling with his wartime experiences, he began painting them. An exhibition including 20 of these, “Final-Final: Paintings by Jim Finnerty,” is on view at Grove Gallery in Walker’s Point. The paintings are abstract and bold, many large in scale along with some powerful smaller canvases. What you will find is a gathering of works with expression and insistency that convey recollections of feeling without resorting to overt detail. In a painting like Night Sky, the horizon is marked by disjointed strokes of green that separate hills washed in orange and red, touched by blue and purple. The sky is like an ink-washed print, blotting over the rosy tinges at the top. As with many of these compositions, there is an energy and understanding that comes through the artist’s handling of color, materials and varied textures. They stand on their own but their source of origin cannot be denied. Finnerty died of cancer in 2016 at the age of 68, and this exhibition marks the first gallery showing of his pieces since then. They are resilient paintings, echoing and transforming the struggle that helped create them. Through Sept. 22 at Grove Gallery, 832 S. Fifth St. Painting by Jim Finnerty
Milwaukee Art Museum | 700 N. Art Museum Drive You’ve probably heard that 2017 marks the 150th anniversary of Frank Lloyd Wright’s birth—but have you yet honored the Wisconsin native and architectural icon with a heady libation and erudite conversation about the Prairie School style? In conjunction with “Frank Lloyd Wright: Buildings for the Prairie,” the Milwaukee Art Museum invites its members (and lures non-members to finally join up) for a drink and discussion. The exhibition features selections from the Wasmuth Portfolio of Wright’s early work alongside related furniture, metal work and stained glass. The event is Thursday, Aug. 10, from 5:30-7:30 p.m., and will be facilitated by Brandon Ruud, Abert family curator of American art.
Morning Glory Fine Craft Fair
Grounds of the Marcus Center for the Performing Arts and Red Arrow Park | 929 N. Water St. As CERF+ suggests, now’s the time for solidarity with craft artists. The 43rd annual Morning Glory Fine Craft Fair is just the opportunity. The juried show selects more than 100 artists recognized as among the most original contemporary crafts artisans. The fair features 12 different categories including ceramics, digital art, fiber, glass, jewelry, leather and metal. Considering the functional orientation of traditional craft, it is not surprising that many of the artists have related side hustles: Jeanette Payne, now a full-time jewelry artist, previously spent 20 years as a pipefitter for Wisconsin Gas; you may have used Jean Wells’ work before—in recent years the Milwaukee sculptor designed and created limited edition coffee mugs for Colectivo.
Morning Glory Fine Craft Fair A U G U S T 1 0 , 2 0 1 7 | 23
A&E::BOOKS BOOK |REVIEW
DNA is Not Destiny:
The Remarkable, Completely Misunderstood Relationship Between You and Your Genes (W.W. NORTON) BY STEVEN J. HEINE The sequencing of the human genome was one of last century’s great scientific achievements. However, the application has been widely misused and misunderstood. In DNA is Not Destiny, Steven J. Heine, cultural psychologist at the University of British Columbia, cites a genetic test on a snip of Elvis’ hair that reveals a high risk for obesity. Heine asks the obvious question: What about all those peanut butter, jelly and bacon sandwiches? Writing colloquially (Gregor Mendel’s discovery of genetic inheritance resulted from “a bad case of test anxiety”), Heine condemns the fatalism and exaggerated claims made on behalf of genetics, stressing the “complex web of interacting influences,” including cultural and other environmental factors, that make us who we are. Humans in many parts of the world are growing taller, not from genetic mutations but from changes in diet. DNA is Not Destiny is also a persuasive warning against unreflecting acceptance of soundbites, tweets and headlines that simplify or distort reality. (David Luhrssen)
BOOK |PREVIEW
Novelist Benjamin Percy’s Digital Dystopian Nightmare ::BY JENNI HERRICK
P
eople have been writing penultimate tales of good and evil for centuries, so it is no surprise that modern-day novelists use subgenres like cyberpunk and techno-noir to imagine a near future filled with digital nightmares. In The Dark Net, comic-book writer Benjamin Percy (the “Green Arrow” and “Teen Titan” series) transforms Portland, Ore., into a virtually ravaged society on the verge of imminent invasion by a violent horde of demons who are gathering strength in the elusive and secretive dark net, the anonymous outer reaches of the internet that many associate with criminal enterprise and unsavory characters. The ragtag crew that comes together to duel with this ancient evil includes a blind 12-year-old whose visionary technology equips her with superhuman abilities; an overworked, luddite-prone journalist; and a redemptive social worker. By combining horror and science fiction, Percy’s eclectic cast of characters unite in a spooky, fast-paced fight to preserve humanity and digital content alike. The gruesome and eerily familiar world they uncover will thrill readers with its imaginative science and tech-savvy perceptions. In The Dark Net, Percy has merged beautiful narrative fiction with frighteningly surreal imagery to create a smart and edgy near future with enough resemblance to today’s society to give us all pause. Percy is a graduate of Brown University and Southern Illinois University, and he has taught creative writing courses at UW-Stevens Point and Marquette University. The Dark Net is his fourth novel. Percy will discuss the book at Boswell Book Co. at 7 p.m. on Thursday, Aug. 10
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::OFFTHECUFF
A Long History in Wisconsin OFF THE CUFF WITH SCULPTOR AUGUST EDWARD PETER
A
::BY JUDITH ANN MORIARTY ugust Edward Peter is a formal sounding moniker with hints of history. It seems about right for a sculptor who is currently a preparator at the Museum of Wisconsin Art, a chap who has recently restored Athena, a sculpture by the late Dean Meeker. A decade ago Peter moved from an English Cotswold home in Bay View to a house near a Newburg, Wis., nature conservancy.
Santiago Calatrava was a big deal when he designed the Quadracci addition to the Milwaukee Art Museum. You designed the “Skylight Lens” in the boardroom located at the south end of the building. Did you meet Calatrava? He was touring the addition, and he dropped in while I was making the Styrofoam template for the Skylight Lens. Fashioned from stainless steel and glass with its many angles, it was particularly difficult. Other of your works you left behind in Milwaukee? A bronze bust of industrialist Henry Harnischfeger that stood outside of their corporate offices. I don’t have any idea what happened to it. Musician Daryl Stuermer hired me to design and install a 27-foot-high copper and stainless steel sign for a Third Ward building he and his wife owned, and at the Sacred Heart Seminary in Hales Corners, is a life-sized bronze statue of Jesus. Boerner Botanical Gardens has a wall piece, and if you visit the Wisconsin Conservatory of Music, perhaps you’ll see a bronze bust of Duke Ellington. That’s my work too. Your family has a long history in the Milwaukee area? My grandfather started out supplying various items to brewing companies, and he owned Northwestern Coffee Mills and Northwestern Extract Company. My father, a former Air Force colonel, carried on the tradition. One of my nephews is the president of Northwestern Extract. Your art training (BFA Sculpture 1981) took you to the Kansas City Art Institute. Thomas Hart Benton lived in Kansas City, and a big exhibition of his work recently traveled to the Milwaukee Art Museum. Did you ever meet him? Well, he died in 1975, but I did go with several other students to rake his yard! Kansas City has beautiful sculptures sited all over town. As a student at the institute, I developed a conservation program for the J.C. Nichols Company, a real estate venue responsible for all the works. You came out of the heady ’70s, along with other artists who wanted to be big stars. Was that your dream? What I want now at age 60 isn’t about celebrity. It’s about being able to work on more than one thing. Hunting, gathering and a full day of possibilities are important. This past season I took two deer, a beautiful 14-point buck and a doe. That helps keep my larder stocked.
August Edward Peter
SHEPHERD EXPRESS
Milwaukee Burger Week Kickoff Party Miller Time Pub and Grill August 14 • 4-7pm SPECIALS: SPECIALS: $5 $5 Burger Burger & & Shoestring Shoestring Fries Fries $3 $3 Wine, Wine, Taps Taps and and Rail Rail Drinks Drinks 10% 10% of of sales sales and and 100% 100% of of tips tips from from our our celebrity celebrity bartender bartender will will go go to to Feeding Feeding America America of of Eastern Eastern Wisconsin. Wisconsin. PRESENTING SPONSOR
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::HEARMEOUT
For more, log onto shepherdexpress.com
ASK RUTHIE | UPCOMING EVENTS | PAUL MASTERSON
::RUTHIE’SSOCALCALENDAR
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A Letter from Ruthie Dear Ruthie Rooters,
I thought it was about damn time I sent you all a letter! Granted, I’m not writing from jail, a spot several of you seem to write me from, but I’m sending you this letter anyway. A few weeks ago, I announced that I was taking a break from running my charity, Ruthie’s Kennel Club. I launched this charity in 2013 with the hopes of financially helping animalrelated charities throughout the state. With a wonderful board of directors, amazing volunteers and incredible supporters, we’ve raised thousands and thousands of dollars for local animal shelters, rescues, animal food banks and other well-deserving charities. We bought protective vests for police dogs, we paid medial bills and we helped many dogs and cats find their forever homes. During my speech at our farewell bash, I quoted one of our volunteers who once reminded me that there truly “was a lot of good in this world.” This statement was proven to me time and again by the caring folks throughout this city and state. You do care, and you showed it with your tremendous support of not only this cause, but the many other animal-related charities that exist in Milwaukee. I’d like to thank you for your support, kindness and friendship. Your enthusiasm toward Ruthie’s Kennel Club, your dedication to helping Wisconsin charities and your love of animals has been incredibly touching. I will never forget the outpouring of love and compassion I witnessed as the founder of Ruthie’s Kennel Club, and I thank you! That said, let’s move onward and upward! I have a bit more time on my social calendar these days, so take a look at the list of weekly happenings. Maybe I’ll run into you at one of these events… and you can buy me a beer—or seven. See you next week, gang!
XOXO Dear Ruthie 26 | A U G U S T 1 0 , 2 0 1 7
Aug. 10: 2017 LGBTQ Progress Awards at The Wherehouse (818 S. Water St.): The Shepherd Express and Cream City Foundation join forces to honor those making a difference in the LGBTQ+ community and in our city overall. Join us (yes, I’ll be there, too!) at 5:30 p.m. for happy hour followed by a 6:15 p.m. dinner and awards ceremony. Tickets start at $40 with a discount for half or full table reservations. See shepherdtickets.com and nab your tickets today! Aug. 12: Art in the Park at Humboldt Park (3000 S. Howell Ave.): For fine art, cool crafts, live music, savory eats and frosty beers, check out Milwaukee’s monthly art jam. The fest opens at 11 a.m. and runs until 4 p.m., featuring family-friendly fun for everyone. Aug. 12: Rainbow Community Potluck at Milwaukee LGBT Community Center (1110 N. Market St.): Put on your stretchy pants, grab a lawn chair and bring a dish to pass because this celebration of food and friendship is back for its 13th year of fun. Entrées are complements of the center, but if your name starts with A through H, bring a salad; I though Q, contribute an appetizer; and R through Z whip up a dessert. The party starts at noon and run through 4 p.m. Aug. 12: Patti LaBelle at State Fair Main Stage (640 S. 84th St.): The diva strides into Brew Town with her dynamite voice, energetic stage show and lovable personality during this 8 p.m. concert. Along with her opening act, En Vogue, this powerhouse singer is sure to have you dancing and singing all night long. See wistatefair.com for $29 to $39 tickets, and get yourself a new attitude, Lady Marmalade! Aug. 13: Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini Party at Kruz (354 E. National Ave.): The infamous Castaways MC of Milwaukee L/L social group is at it again! The parties they host are quickly giving a naughty nod to Sunday Fundays in Cream City. Enjoy a beer bust, raffles and more. Wear your best bikini for free raffle tickets called during the 3-7 p.m. event. Aug. 13: Idina Menzel at The Riverside (116 W. Wisconsin Ave.): From Rent to Wicked and from Glee to Frozen, Idina Menzel has proven to be a vocal powerhouse few can top. Join the Grammy- and Tony-Award winner during her 8 p.m. concert (doors open at 7 p.m.). Swing by pabsttheater.org for more. Aug. 14: Milwaukee Burger Week Kickoff Party at Miller Time Pub and Grill (509 W. Wisconsin Ave.): Help the Shepherd Express kick off Burger Week (Aug. 14-20), during this 4-7 p.m. happy hour! Not only will you find great deals on booze and burgers, but swanky prizes, a burger-eating contest and more promise to make this a meaty mainstay in Milwaukee. Best of all, 10% of the bar revenue and 100% of the tips go to Feeding America-Eastern Wisconsin! Want to share an event with Ruthie? Need her advice on a situation? Email DearRuthie@Shepex.com. SHEPHERD EXPRESS
::MYLGBTQPoint of View
Take Me to the Cos-Bar OR, WHY GAYS DRESS UP ::BY PAUL MASTERSON
O
f the LGBTQ community’s foibles one can say with certainty we have mastered the art of costuming. Be it drag queens, leather men or lesbians in flannel and bib overalls, there’s something about our penchant for dressing the part. Of course, it’s not strictly an LGBTQ thing. Straights do it as well although, perhaps, not quite as well or with the same conviction. Clothing as an identity marker goes back to the first fashionable fig leaf. Back in the day, laws were enacted to ensure everyone dressed according to his or her station and gender. Naturally, rules are made to be broken, and that included extravagant dress and crossdressing. Besides, gay people always had that certain secret, and clothes were the perfect conduit. Going back to the 15th century, fops, and later macaroni of “Yankee Doodle” fame, certain men exaggerated their gay apparel for its own sake. In both European and Asian theater, women weren’t allowed on stage. Consequently, men played women’s roles (although I suspect there was something more to it). Later, women followed suit. In opera, women sometimes perform as men. They still do. The parts are known as “pants roles” or, as famed Italian mezzo-soprano Cecilia Bartoli more appropriately calls them, “transvestite roles”
(she recently performed as the bearded warrior namesake of George Frideric Handel’s Ariodante). It’s all a bit queer, to be sure. Otherwise, famous female crossdressers include suspected lesbian Joan of Arc. Confirmed lesbian, 19th-century French artist Rosa Bonheur actually carried an annually renewed permit issued by the police allowing her to dress as a man. Then there’s Maria Bochkareva. She led the 1st Petrograd Women’s Battalion of Death (no, that’s not a Brew City Bruisers roller derby team…although perhaps it should be). It was back in 1917. Apparently, it was fine with the tsar. A more recent fad is cosplay, or costume play. It’s exactly what it sounds like. Adults dress up as their favorite video game, Disney, Marvel or other character. Our own drag diva, Trixie Mattel, started her career at the Oriental Theatre appearing as her favorite role “Trixie” from The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Anyway, aficionados do cosplay in the privacy of their homes (no doubt in front of a mirror), at conventions (the famous Gen Con is actually named after Lake Geneva, Wis., where an early convention was held in 1968) or for any other occasion. Our local Bristol Renaissance Faire attracts LGBTQs as costumed performers and visitors. Last Halloween, a conflicted friend desperately texted me to get my opinion—Power Ranger (the red one) or Captain America? He’s a muscular black guy so either would set him off. In my indecisive Libran way, I said I could envision him as either. “No,” he insisted, “which one?” Now on the spot, I opted for Captain America. Otherwise, it doesn’t take much imagination to conjure the extent to which cosplayers indulge their fantasy. Interestingly, my friend’s 8-year-old son came home from school heartbroken that his classmates had made fun of him for his Spiderman shirt. I’m not sure how his father consoled him. I might have simply said, “Just wait until you grow up.”
LOVE // LIFE // ENTERTAINMENT ADVICE
Dear Ruthie says,
“Hear Me Out!”
AND FOR EVEN MORE FUN VISIT RUTHIE AND CYNTHIA AT RUTHIE’SBITCHINKITCHEN.COM SHEPHERD EXPRESS
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::MUSIC
For more MUSIC, log onto shepherdexpress.com
FEATURE | ALBUM REVIEWS | CONCERT REVIEWS | LOCAL MUSIC
Milo is Rapping About Survival
::BY EVAN RYTLEWSKI
ilo never asked to have a chip on his shoulder. For as angry as some of his most celebrated music has been, anger isn’t his natural state. Off stage he’s a chatty, gregarious guy with an abrupt, infectious laugh and an all-encompassing sense of humor. In another era he might’ve been primarily a joke rapper—and, indeed, he does make his share of silly music, some of which he releases as Scallops Hotel or under other aliases—but those aren’t the times we live in. As he puts it, the stakes are too high for that. Milo had released several albums of smart, surrealist beat poetry before taking a hard political turn on his heady 2015 breakout record, So The Flies Don’t Come, his deeply personal response to the Black Lives Matter movement told from the perspective of an artist fed up by fans telling him what he should and should not be allowed to say. Two years later, that record has lost none of its power—it remains one of the most distinctive political rap albums of its time—but, by design, it didn’t quite capture the sheer gravity of the situation. By rapping about artist prerogative and the outrage of censorship, Milo sometimes skirted the bigger, more obvious outrage: People are being killed. Unarmed people. For the color of their skin. Nobody could accuse him of dancing around that reality on his latest album, Who Told You To Think??!!?!?!?, an even more confrontational set of incensed, jazzy hip-hop recorded with a wider range of producers but no less focused than its predecessor. The album isn’t as heavy as it might sound on paper. Like every Milo project, there’s an inherent whimsy to it, because rapping is an inherently whimsical act, from the freeform associations to the wordplay, and the way he bends words to fit the beats, it’s fun. Yet without sacrificing that levity, on nearly every track, Milo offers some kind of reminder that literal lives are on the line: that, as a black man, his safety is never completely assured. “Guess I’ll keep rapping until they toe-tag me,” he shrugs on “Call + Form.” When one track, “Paging Mr. Bill Nunn,” abruptly pauses after a police officer gives a hard knock on a window and
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asks, “What’s the problem,” the effect is something like that final scene of Get Out. He doesn’t have to spell out why just the mere presence of the police might portend doom. “I’m not sure people my age realize what the stakes are,” Milo says. “We’ve all been divorced from our history in this country and just exactly how cruel we’ve been and what that means for us today. That’s on my mind a lot in my music; in part because of travel. I go to a lot of different places, and I see the effect that I have on people. I’ve been to towns where just me sitting around has made people call the police. I’ve been to a lot of places in this country where I’ve recognized that just my being is a threat to a lot of people. Just my being! And I’m not even talking about being college educated; somebody dedicated to art and freedom. Scratch all that shit. Just being 25 years old, 6’3”, black, 200 pounds, with long hair and tattoos. So I’m definite-
Milo PHOTO BY KRISTINA PEDERSEN
ly trying to flirt with that danger, fuck with that danger, in my music. I don’t want it to crush me. I don’t want to whine about it. But I do want to document it. I do want to joust with it.” This summer, Milo left Milwaukee, his latest of many adopted homes, for Maine, though he expects to be back here quite a bit. About a month before his move, he recalls, he took his 8-month-old son for a walk down Brady Street. “I had him strapped to my back in a little carrier,” Milo says. “I walked by Glorioso’s, and there’s a parked cop car. And the cop sees us coming down the block and gets out of his car, walks around it and leans on his car facing me, just watching me walk down the street with my son. And I’m thinking, ‘What am I doing to prompt this?’ Why is it so important that this state know that I’m being surveyed? Even when I have my son on me, and I’m just walking down the street doing nothing, it’s always present.” And that, he says, is why it’s always present in his music, too. In a utopia he might rap exclusively about art and philosophy and TV and silly shit, but he has other obligations. “I have to make sure that people know the stakes are a little bit higher for me, even if I might prefer to be a whimsical, bohemian artiste,” he says, punctuating the word “artiste” with one of those sharp laughs of his. “But the stakes are so high! Even making that kind of music, the stakes are high. To me, it connects to a tradition that stems from the ’90s, with guys like A Tribe Called Quest and De La Soul. I think they had that same paranoia, that sense of, ‘I live in a place that really hates me, man.’ I live in a country that really doesn’t like me.” Milo’s Who Told You To Think??!!?!?!? is out Friday, Aug. 11
SHEPHERD EXPRESS
MUSIC::CONCERTREVIEW
MUSIC::LOCALMUSIC
Silver City Studios Lets Milwaukee Bands Record on the Cheap
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::BY LAUREN KEENE
hat do legendary rock band Nirvana and Wisconsin have in common? The Dairy State is home to Viroqua-born Butch Vig, the widely-celebrated music producer most famous for recording Nirvana’s seminal 1991 album Nevermind in a tiny Madison studio. The now-defunct Smart Studios produced records by other prolific artists like Smashing Pumpkins, Sonic Youth and Garbage, alongside countless Wisconsin-based bands. Vig’s star-studded recording career was memorialized in the 2016 documentary The Smart Studios Story. When local musician Andrew Jambura (Sat. Nite Duets) saw the film at last year’s Milwaukee Film Festival, he was inspired to open a sound studio of his own. He joined forces with fellow scene veterans Graham Hunt (Midnight Reruns, Midwives and others) and Josh Evert (The Fatty Acids) and opened Silver City Studios in April 2017. The artist-run studio’s motto is “Low cost, high reward,” an ethos the founders strive to maintain consistently. The three musicians have known each other for years, having met through playing in many Milwaukee rock bands. “Josh and I have been friends since the summer of 2009, when he heard my band on MySpace and invited us to play a show in his basement,” Jambura explains. “Graham is a guy we had both known from the music scene for a while. We’re all pretty like-minded when it comes to music and get along well.” He explains getting the studio off the ground was “a bit serendipitous,” though he and Evert both expressed interest in establishing a place to record for a while before taking the plunge. “I think we were both ready to find a creative space that wasn’t a lightless, subterranean mold cave (read: Riverwest basement). Not to mock basements, as nearly all our previous recordings had been done in them, but we were looking for a space that we would feel comfortable inviting clients to.” Jambura and Evert heard Hunt was also looking for a place to record, and the duo invited him on board. With a bachelor of arts degree in music technology and a day job recording audiobooks, Jambura has been recording music since he began playing in bands at age 15. He says Hunt and Evert have similar backgrounds and both “have great ears for making music sound good.” Their combined experience ensures every client is provided with a very personalized recording session. “We each sort of operate independently, working one-on-one with artists, but we’ve definitely collaborated and will continue to collaborate in the future. It all depends on what a given project calls for.” Located in Milwaukee’s Silver City neighborhood, the studio boasts a 400-square foot control room with an 800-square foot live room attached. Clients have the option to track up to 16 inputs separately. A wide variety of instruments are available for artists to use along with an impressive collection of recording equipment. “We purchased a few new things for the studio, but we’ve each been collecting gear for the past 10 years,” Jambura explains. “We realized we could put it all together and have a pretty decent setup.” Silver City Studios ensures that affordability is a high priority. An average recording session costs around $20 an hour, but varies depending on circumstances. “It’s been my experience that the media production business can be pretty profit-driven,” explains Jambura. “There’s an emphasis on knowing what your time is ‘worth,’ which is important and valid, but also off-putting if communicated in the wrong way. I think we’re all on the same page regarding this; we want to provide a comfortable and reasonably priced recording experience. We’re coming at this endeavor as artists, ourselves.” The studio has so far attracted a wide variety of steady clientele and is currently looking to record with new artists. A few of Silver City Studio’s notable clients to date include Paper Holland, Surgeons in Heat, Bad Wig, Teenage Woman and Pay Up. Jambura says the studio’s goal is to keep recording music and other audio work on a fulltime basis. “Beyond that,” he says, “we just want to keep making better music and be involved in more creative projects.” For more information about Silver City Studios, visit facebook.com/SilverCityStudios414.
SHEPHERD EXPRESS
Jazz Visions PHOTO BY LEIKO NAPOLI
Jazz Visions on the Lake Offered Three Distinct Takes on the Genre
I
::BY TYLER FRIEDMAN
n furtherance of its mission of promoting jazz in Greater Metro-Milwaukee and putting local musicians to work, Milwaukee Jazz Vision has staged a free, one-day event for the past three years. In the fourth incarnation of Jazz Visions on the Lake, three groups of local players delved into the repertoire of jazz past and intimated its future direction at the Summerfest grounds’ Johnson Controls World Sound Stage. Scott Napoli’s quartet opened the afternoon, stretching standards (“Alone Together,” “People,” “Simone”) to upward of 12 minutes, giving each musician ample improvisatory room to tell his story. Warming up, tenor saxophonist Jonathan Greenstein tossed off darting phrases with a light tone redolent of Bird With Strings-era Charlie Parker. But, set against pulsing, harmonically languid accompaniment, Greenstein’s roots in John Coltrane came unmistakably to the fore. Pianist Mark Davis is a master of modern jazz piano. Like Hank Jones or Barry Harris, Davis’ crisply articulated lines are placed far on the front of the beat, evidencing an unusually fecund mind and self-effacing technique. Between tunes, Napoli gave a shout out to Milwaukee’s jazz community (the audience demographic was refreshingly varied and turnout was respectable) but remarked in an elegiac tone that he wished events of this sort were more numerous. During tunes, Napoli held down the drummer’s chair, laying an unwavering foundation and occasionally shifting the rhythmic texture to push the soloists into new improvisatory territory. On the fourth tune the quartet hit their stride. The up-tempo original found Greenstein and Davis reaching in their most boppish bags for beautifully realized solos before, in the immortal words of James Brown, “giving the drummer some,” with Napoli taking a few choruses in which he rumbled on his toms while marking quarter notes on his hi-hat à la Art Blakey. Fifteen minutes of break down and set up divided the bands. The intermission music veered too close to smooth, elevator jazz for my persnickety ears. My aesthetic contempt was also aroused by fellow audience members munching popcorn and snapping gum. At least Gil Evans had the right idea: Salted radishes are the proper snack for digging jazz. All hail mighty Thelonious Monk, whose centenary rivals in significance Frank Lloyd Wright’s sesquicentenary. Dreamland—a quartet consisting of trumpeter-leader Jamie Breiwick, the ubiquitous Mark Davis on piano, drummer Devin Drobka and Jeff Hamann on bass, is devoted to Monk’s evergreen oeuvre. The quartet dug up some neglected Monk gems such as “Light Blue” and “Played Twice” but did not neglect classics like “Pannonica,” “Ruby,” “My Dear” and “Ba-Lue Bolivar Ba-Lues Are.” Fleetfingered Breiwick darted across bar lines in his solos, never stooping to empty, brassy proclamations that tempt many trumpet players. Drobka contributed several lengthy drum solos, sometimes modeling his musings on the rhythmic content of the tunes while occasionally sallying forth into freer territory. The Kevin Hayden Band, described by emcee Neil Davis as exhibiting “a level of virtuosity almost unheard of in Milwaukee,” blew last, taking the stage after an unfortunately lengthy intermission resulting in a small exodus of aggravated audience members. Hayden’s band has travelled far down the path of fusion with effect-laden electric instruments and groove-driven jams that owe as much to funk and hip-hop as jazz. The audience was clearly delighted, gamely answering Hayden’s invitations to clap along and to show the band members some love. Jazz Visions on the Lake 4 rode on a blue note and ended on a high note.
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MUSIC::LISTINGS THURSDAY, AUGUST 10
Amelia’s, Jackson Dordel Jazz Quintet (4pm) Angelo’s Piano Lounge, Acoustic Guitar Night Cactus Club, Aaron Cohen w/Rob Hicks, Von Alexander, Larry Bull, Denny Lanez & Marley B Cafe Carpe (Fort Atkinson), Bill Staines Caroline’s Jazz Club, Grooveology Catalano Square Third Ward, Ayre in the Square Concert: Faux Fiction & Tigernite (6:30pm) Charles Allis Art Museum, Roochie Toochie and the Ragtime Shepherd Kings Colectivo Coffee On Prospect, Marika Hackman w/The Big Moon County Clare Irish Inn & Pub, Acoustic Irish Folk w/Barry Dodd Drexel Town Square (Oak Creek), Concerts on the Square: The Zach Pietrini Band (6pm) Harry’s Bar & Grill, Kyle Feerick (6pm) Italian Community Center, Pete D’Amore (6:30pm) Jazz Estate, Romarcus Jones Trio Jazz in the Park (Cathedral Square Park), Salsa Manzana (6pm) Kelly’s Bleachers (Big Bend), Thursday Night Acoustic Open Jam w/ host Michael Sean Linneman’s Riverwest Inn, The Speedbumps w/Carley Baer Mason Street Grill, Mark Thierfelder Jazz Trio (5:30pm) McAuliffe’s Pub (Racine), Skerryvore w/The Saturday Night Preachers Miller Time Pub, Joe Kadlec Nines American Bistro of Mequon, ninesLive! O’Donoghues Irish Pub (Elm Grove), The All-Star SUPERband (6pm) Packing House, Barbara Stephan & Peter Mac (6pm) Potawatomi Hotel & Casino, In Bar 360: Kevin Kennedy is Special K, In the Fire Pit: Rebecca & The Grey Notes (8:30pm) Rotary Waterfront Park (Jefferson), Derek Byrne & Paddygrass The Bay Restaurant, Steve Beguhn The Corners of Brookfield, Concert at The Corners: John Stano (6pm) Transfer Pizzeria Cafe, Johnny Padilla y su Tipica Moderna Turner Hall Ballroom, Ron Funches Village Hall Park (Waterford), Waterford River Rhythms: Lunch Money Bullies (6:30pm)
FRIDAY, AUGUST 11
Angelo’s Piano Lounge, Piano Night Anodyne Coffee Walker’s Point Roastery & Cafe, Fiddle Fest 2.0 Bucky’s Lakeside Pub & Grill (Okauchee), Katz Sass Cactus Club, All-Seeing Eyes (Johnny Walker of Soledad Brothers) w/ Wood Chickens & Ravi/Lola Cafe Carpe (Fort Atkinson), Dayna Kurtz w/Robert Mache Circle-A Cafe, Alive at Eight: Crappy Dracula w/Honey Coma (8pm); DJ: era & The Nile (10pm) City Lights Brewing Company, One Lane Bridge Clarke Hotel (Waukesha), Dick Eliot Jazz Guitar (6pm) Club Garibaldi, Jones w/Drunkardly Brothers Colectivo Coffee On Prospect, Banditos & Blank Range Colectivo Coffee at the Lake, Salaam Company Brewing, Sugar Stems w/Phylums & Final Ultimate County Clare Irish Inn & Pub, Traditional Irish Ceilidh Session Downtown Burlington, Tall Tales Music Festival Five O’Clock Steakhouse , Rafael Mendez Frank’s Power Plant, The Hungry Williams House of Guinness (Waukesha), Mojo Crew w/Colin Loman
::ALBUMS Iron Horse Hotel, The B Side Band Iron Mike’s (Franklin), Jam Session w/Steve Nitros & Friends Jazz Estate, Paul Dietrich Quintet CD release (8pm), Late Night Session: Stomata Jazz Trio album release w/Jay Anderson, John Simmons & Dave Schoepke (11:30pm) Jokerz Comedy Club, Mick Lazinski Lakefront Brewery Beer Hall, Brewhaus Polka Kings (5:30pm) Linneman’s Riverwest Inn, The Old Prospectors w/Hibbity Dibbity & American Monroe Mamie’s, Australian Blues Hall of Fame Artist Michael Charles Mason Street Grill, Phil Seed Trio (6pm) Milwaukee Ale House, Detour Naga-Waukee Park (Delafield), Waukesha BluesFest: ROCKONSIN 2017 Band Finalist (1pm), The B Side Band (2:30pm), Starkweather Bay Blues Band (4pm), Blues Harp Jimmie Band (5:30pm). Lil’ Ed & The Blues Imperials (7pm), Charlie Musselwhite (8:30pm) Pabst Theater, Lore Podcat Packing House, Barbara Stephan Group (6:30pm) Plymouth Arts Center, Grooveology Potawatomi Hotel & Casino, In Bar 360: Jason Ray Brown (9pm), In the Fire Pit: Christopher’s Project (9pm) Potbelly Sandwich Shop (East Side), Texas Dave (noon) Quarters Rock and Roll Palace, UDUSIC w/Primitive Teeth & Lifes Sam’s Tap, Open Mic w/host Dale Kellison Shank Hall, Birdtalker w/The Rocketboys Site 1A, Gabriel & Dresden w/Surge, Eppen & Lazrev Sugar Maple, Evacuate the Earth w/Dan of Earth & Molly Lieberman The Bay Restaurant, Rick Aaron & The Men in Black Trio Up & Under Pub, Three Unassisted Von Trier, Leroy Airmaster
SATURDAY, AUGUST 12
Angelo’s Piano Lounge, Piano Night Anodyne Coffee Walker’s Point Roastery & Cafe, Tommy Odetto Fundraiser Cactus Club, Coyote Record Release w/The Young Revelators & Big Dill and the Boys Circle-A Cafe, Alive at Eight: Law and Love (8pm); DJ: Mil-DewJays (10pm) Club Garibaldi, Tour of the Doomed w/Sheavy, Beelzefuzz & Spillage Company Brewing, Vinz Clortho w/Abby Jeanne & Devil Met Contention Five O’Clock Steakhouse , Kirk Tatnall Fly By Saloon, Fictional God and Friends Fox Point Farmers Market, Dareie Bisquera (10am) Hilton Milwaukee City Center, Vocals & Keys Jackson’s Blue Ribbon Pub (Downtown), Jackie Brown Jazz Estate, Darren Sterud Quintet: Tribute to New Orleans (8pm), Late Night Session: Steve Peplin - Neil Davis Duo (11:30pm) Jokerz Comedy Club, Mick Lazinski Linneman’s Riverwest Inn, Ben Kostich Life Celebration: The Form, The Atomic Spins, Blonde on Blonde & the Man Band, and Hail to the Zoo Mason Street Grill, Jonathan Wade Trio (6pm) Milwaukee Boat Line Dock, MKE Boat Line Presents: Avenues w/ All Eyes West Naga-Waukee Park (Delafield), Waukesha BluesFest: Steve Cohen & Little Maddie (1pm), Ol’ Style Skratch (2:30pm), Altered Five Blues Band (4pm), The Paul Nelson Band (5:30pm), The Kinsey Report (7pm), Ana Popovic (8:30pm) Packing House, Donna Woodall Trio (6:30pm)
Pizzeria Piccola, Tom & Barb Webber (6pm) Potawatomi Hotel & Casino, In Bar 360: Jake Williams Rave / Eagles Club, Bachata Heightz w/DJ Danny Boy (all-ages, 9pm) Sabbatic, Concrete Elite w/Get Rad, No Time, Assault & Battery, Empire Down & Law/Less Shank Hall, Kristin Diable The Cheel (Thiensville), CP & Stoll w/Chris Peppas & Jeff Stoll The Rock Sports Complex, Summer Concert Series in Umbrella Bar: Kris Crow Three Cellars (Oak Creek), Mambo Surfers Trinity Three Irish Pubs, The Dirty Boogie w/DJ Zovo Up & Under Pub, F in Fun
SUNDAY, AUGUST 13
Angelo’s Piano Lounge, Live Karaoke w/Julie Brandenburg Cactus Club, Lee Bains III & the Glory Fires w/Sex Scenes & Sundial Mottos Circle-A Cafe, Alive at Eight: Paul Setser, Dan Wisniewski, Tal Deering & Jenna Morin (8pm); DJ: Sheppy (10pm) Club Garibaldi, Sweet Spirit w/Abby Jeanne & Tigernite Erv’s Mug, SheRocks Singer-Songwriter Session (12pm) Iron Mike’s (Franklin), Jammin’ Jimmy Open Jam (3pm) Kochanski’s Concertina Beer Hall, Market Of The Macabre: The Alder Kings, Those Kickstarts & The Lucid Furs (11am-5pm) Marx Pioneer Inn (Muskego), Tomm Lehnigk w/Red Deacon & Gary Fiedler (3pm) Ozaukee County Pioneer Village (Saukville), Bluegrass at the Village: Pickin’ Up Speed (12pm), Chicken Wire Empire (1pm), Mecan River Ramblers (2:30pm), Handpicked Bluegrass (3:30pm), Big Cedar (5pm) Riverside Theater, Idina Menzel Rounding Third Bar and Grill, The Dangerously Strong Comedy Open Mic The Tonic Tavern, Tonic Tavern Anniversary Party: Bootleg Bessie (4pm), CLOVE (8pm) Trinity Three Irish Pubs, Joe Wray Von Trier, On the Patio: Robin Pluer (4pm)
MONDAY, AUGUST 14
Italian Community Center, Joe Zarcone Quintet (6:30pm) Jazz Estate, Mark Davis Jazz Trio Linneman’s Riverwest Inn, Poet’s Monday w/host Timothy Kloss & featured reader Jaymie Miriam Cross (7:30-10:30pm) Mason Street Grill, Joel Burt Duo (5:30pm) McAuliffe’s Pub (Racine), Red Hot Chilli Pipers Paulie’s Pub and Eatery, Open Jam w/Christopher John Up & Under Pub, Marshall McGhee and the Wanderers Open Mic
TUESDAY, AUGUST 15
C Notes Upscale Sports Lounge, Another Night-Another Mic Open Mic w/Darryl Hill Chill On the Hill (Humboldt Park), PILES w/Dramatic Lovers & Mathew Haeffel (6pm) City Lights Building, Swing & A Miss (6:30pm) Colectivo Coffee On Prospect, The Greatest Generation: A Star Trek Podcast Frank’s Power Plant, Duck and Cover Comedy Open Mic Highbury Pub, Sweet Sheiks Italian Community Center, Robert Allen Jr. Band w/Tom Sobel (6:30pm) Kilbourn-Kadish Park, Skyline Music Concerts: King Solomon (5:30pm) Mamie’s, Open Blues Jam w/Kenny J Mason Street Grill, Jamie Breiwick Group (5:30pm) Miramar Theatre, Tuesday Open Mic w/host Sandy Weisto (sign-up 7:30pm) The Jazz Gallery Center for the Arts, Jazz Jam Session Transfer Pizzeria Cafe, Transfer House Band w/Dennis Fermenich
WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 16
8/10 Tallymoore 8/17 New Age Narcissism
30 | A U G U S T 1 0 , 2 0 1 7
Caroline’s Jazz Club, Harvey Westmoreland w/Knee Deep Blues Jam Conway’s Smokin’ Bar & Grill, Open Jam w/Big Wisconsin Johnson Discovery World, LIVE @ the Lakefront: River Rhythms: Reverend Raven & The Chain Smokin’ Altar Boys (5:30pm) District 14 Brewery & Pub, Wednesday Open Mic Hot Water Wherehouse, The Ricochettes Iron Mike’s (Franklin), Danny Wendt Open Jam (6pm) Jazz Estate, Charles McPherson Kochanski’s Concertina Beer Hall, Polka Open Jam Linneman’s Riverwest Inn, Acoustic Open Stage w/feature Donny Jirschele (sign-up 8:30pm, start 9pm) Mason Street Grill, Jamie Breiwick Group (5:30pm) Packing House, Carmen Nickerson & Kostia Efimov (6pm) Paulie’s Field Trip, Humpday Jam w/Dave Wacker & Mitch Cooper Pere Marquette Park, River Rhythms: Thriftones (6:30pm) Pewaukee Lakefront Park, Waterfront Wednesdays: The Tinker Boys (6pm) Potbelly Sandwich Shop (East Side), Texas Dave (noon)
Tally’s Tap & Eatery (Waukesha), Tomm Lehnigk The Bay Restaurant, CP & Stoll w/Chris Peppas & Jeff Stoll (6pm) Turner Hall Ballroom, Doug Stanhope Washington Park, Summer Concert Series: Charles Walker Band & MOUF (6pm)
Father Sky Father Sky Young Milwaukee pianistsinger-composer Anthony Deutsch has old-soul wisdom and speaks to people about matters of the heart, and the mind/body disconnect that often separates us from our own nature and from Nature. The style recalls the spare tunesmithing of The Bad Plus’ Ethan Iverson, bolstered by Father Sky bassist John Christensen and drummer Devin Drobka. But Deutsch loves Nina Simone. His bluesy-gospel singing deeply abides her forlorn, loamy eloquence—her world-weary persistence and faith. To me, he also mirrors the exquisite jazz singer-pianist Andy Bey—the naked willingness to reveal male vulnerability. Still, Deutsch’s Father Sky-meets-Mother Earth sensibility tends a personal ecological vision, like someone picking bits of grimy dust out of a spider’s web. Deutsch croons, but his spacious baritone sometimes projects like a wolf howling at the moon. He leans on the sustain pedal and major keys, but the piano also dapples sun-lit atmospherics. “Soon, My Love” has a funky kick Gil Scott-Heron would dig. “Gonna Find Home” yearns for a home that’s everywhere, like the holy land Lakota Black Elk spoke of. This beguiling talent might just take you away, home. —Kevin Lynch
Machine Mass
Machine Mass Plays Hendrix
(MOONJUNE RECORDS) To celebrate the 50th anniversary of the Jimi Hendrix Experience’s first album, Are You Experienced, the instrumental trio Machine Mass pays homage with an unorthodox 60-minute live-in-the-studio session reworking some of the legendary guitarist’s lesser-known tracks. No “All Along the Watchtower,” “Manic Depression” or “Hey Joe” here. Instead, multi-instrumentalist Michel Delville, keyboardist Antoine Guenet and drummer Tony Bianco offer fresh interpretations of (mostly) deeper tracks, with no overdubs and minimal editing. “Burning the Midnight Lamp” features a lovely piano replacing Hendrix’s ax, and a slower tempo reveals a whole new aura. “Little Wing,” meanwhile, sounds like something you’d hear on Spotify’s “Chill Vibes” playlist, and a sublime version of “The Wind Cries Mary,” anchored by a subtle spoken-word passage and an epic organ-injected groove, closes the album. Here’s hoping for more unapologetically unconventional shape-shifting Hendrix experimentation. —Michael Popke SHEPHERD EXPRESS
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Teweles Seed Tower Location, Location, Location 1, 2 & 3BR, many w/2BA Market & Affordable Rates Available Industrial Chic Design! 888-TEWELES (888-839-3537) Exceptional, Furnished Studios OPEN HOUSE EVERY SAT & SUN 11am - 12pm. Five Stars. Located in trendy Walkers Point. Extra Clean. Shared bath and kitchen. Smoke Free. On Bus Line. Weekly rent starts at $95 plus sec. dep. Utilities incl. 703 S 5th St. 414-384-2428 OR 414-722-8418.
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414-ANIMALS VISIT WWW.WIHUMANE.ORG A U G U S T 1 0 , 2 0 1 7 | 31
LEADING ByEDGE James Barrick
THEME CROSSWORD
PSYCHO SUDOKU! “Greater-Than Sudoku”
For this “Greater-Than Sudoku,” I’m not giving you ANY numbers to start off with! Adjoining squares in the grid’s 3x3 boxes have a greater-than sign (>) telling you which of the two numbers in those squares is larger. Fill in every square with a number from 1-9 using the greater-than signs as a guide. When you’re done, as in a normal Sudoku, every row, column, and 3x3 box will contain the numbers 1-9 exactly one time. (Solving hint: try to look for the 1’s and 9’s in each box first, then move on to the 2’s and 8’s, and so on). psychosudoku@gmail.com
70. Biscuit 71. — gestae 72. Compass parts 73. A berry, in fact 74. Overturn 75. Musial of baseball 76. — -jongg 77. Heads-up 79. Cubic meter 80. Long-nosed creature 82. Baseless 83. Flowerless and seedless plants 84. Blast 85. Honey badger 87. Ecclesiastical robe 88. Oak fruit 91. Vertical pipe 92. Complicated 96. Running lengthwise 99. Ship’s crew’s quarters 101. Woe! 102. Fireplace 103. — - — -vie 104. Lab burner 105. Ohio team 106. More ignoble 107. Clothing 108. Friable soil DOWN 1. Abundant 2. On the summit of 3. Eastern garment 4. Overabundance 5. Command 6. Leaf shape 7. Tobacco plugs 8. Tokyo, formerly 9. Honored, in a way 10. Michael Caine role 11. Dispositions 12. Caliber 13. Letters on a dial 14. Game official
15. Stream 16. Ship of myth 17. Inkling 18. Wait in hiding 24. Movie-making event 26. Glaze 29. Horseradish addition 32. Retreads 33. Of farm animals 34. Inclination 35. With full force 36. Premeditation 37. — -piano 38. Horned animal 39. Reduce 40. War vessel: Hyph. 41. Dance craze of the 1930s 42. Commedia dell’— 43. Establish 44. “Snowy” birds 45. Service club members 48. Thugs 50. Kind of moss 52. Bluenose 53. Haystacks 54. Pester in fun 56. Retains 57. Cooked cereal 58. Compound leaf 60. Cousin to the goral
61. Flip-flop 62. Alabama river city 63. Spotless 64. Person with promise 65. Diorama 66. Approaches 67. Laborer of old 69. Cap 70. Channel for excess water 73. Scores 74. Malnourished 75. Coffeecake topping 77. Animals of a region 78. Ceremony 79. Dividing membranes 81. Exit 83. Impels 85. Browning automatic 86. Daisylike flower 87. Some students 88. Remotely 89. Cabbage 90. Toward the mouth 91. Dustcloths 92. Test question answer 93. Palindromic name 94. A bone 95. Garment part 97. Pen point 98. Kind of evidence 100. Scull
Solution to last week’s puzzle
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8/3 Solution
WORD FIND This is a theme puzzle with the subject stated below. Find the listed words in the grid. (They may run in any direction but always in a straight line. Some letters are used more than once.) Ring each word as you find it and when you have completed the puzzle, there will be 19 letters left over. They spell out the alternative theme of the puzzle.
Let’s Get Creative Solution: 19 Letters
© 2017 Australian Word Games Dist. by Creators Syndicate Inc.
© 2017 United Feature Syndicate, Dist. by Andrews McMeel Syndication
ACROSS 1. Grating sound 5. Garden structure 10. Yellow 15. Means of transport 19. Romance lang. 20. Duck 21. Inexact 22. Literary language of Pakistan 23. Portend 25. Cousin to a pinky 27. Descriptive names 28. Endure 30. Mask 31. Socks and stockings 32. Kilmer title 33. Drama award 35. In preparation 37. Bona — 38. Momentous 42. Lifeless, archaically 43. Prophet’s forte 46. — -Wan Kenobi 47. — avis 48. Pierced 49. Fairy tale figure 50. Ferrum 51. Contest result 52. Shows displeasure 53. Prostrate 54. Step 55. Invest with kingly power 57. Demon 58. Full of pluck 59. Pursue 60. Adds seasoning to 61. Something worthless 62. Upbraids 64. Roman agriculture goddess 65. Western American Indian 68. Circumvent 69. Badenov or Godunov
9 8
Assemblage Backstitch Baskets Batik China Clay Draw Dye Encaustic Engraving Glassblowing Glue Hoops Ink
Knit Knot Lathe Level Link Metal Needle Oil paintings Pelt Photography Plane Posing Pottery Quilt
Reward Rope Sculpture Sew Tats Tube Turn Twine Unpick Veneer Vice Wheels
32 | A U G U S T 1 0 , 2 0 1 7
8/3 Solution: Needing a roof over our head SHEPHERD EXPRESS
Solution: No limit to creativity
Creators Syndicate 737 3rd Street • Hermosa Beach, CA 90254 310-337-7003 • info@creators.com
Date: 8/10/17
::NEWS OF THE WEIRD
::FREEWILLASTROLOGY ::BY ROB BREZSNY LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Each of us comes to know the truth in our own way, says astrologer Antero Alli. “For some it is wild and unfettered,” he writes. “For others it is like a cozy domesticated cat, while others find truth through their senses alone.” Whatever your usual style of knowing the truth might be, Leo, I suspect you’ll benefit from trying out a different method in the next two weeks. Here are some possibilities: trusting your most positive feelings; tuning in to the clues and cues your body provides; performing ceremonies in which you request the help of ancestral spirits; slipping into an altered state by laughing nonstop for five minutes. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Would you scoff if I said that you’ll soon be blessed with supernatural assistance? Would you smirk and roll your eyes if I advised you to find clues to your next big move by analyzing your irrational fantasies? Would you tell me to stop spouting nonsense if I hinted that a guardian angel is conspiring to blast a tunnel through the mountain you created out of a molehill? It’s OK if you ignore my predictions, Virgo. They’ll come true even if you’re a staunch realist who doesn’t believe in woo-woo, juju or mojo. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): This is the Season of Enlightenment for you. That doesn’t necessarily mean you will achieve an ultimate state of divine grace. It’s not a guarantee that you’ll be freestyling in satori, samadhi or nirvana. But one thing is certain: Life will conspire to bring you the excited joy that comes with deep insight into the nature of reality. If you decide to take advantage of the opportunity, please keep in mind these thoughts from designer Elissa Giles: “Enlightenment is not an asexual, dispassionate, head-in-the-clouds, nails-inthe-palms disappearance from the game of life. It’s a volcanic, kick-ass, erotic commitment to love in action, coupled with hard-headed practical grist.” SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Some zoos sell the urine of lions and tigers to gardeners who sprinkle it in their gardens. Apparently the stuff scares off wandering house cats that might be tempted to relieve themselves in vegetable patches. I nominate this scenario to be a provocative metaphor for you in the coming weeks. Might you tap into the power of your inner wild animal so as to protect your inner crops? Could you build up your warrior energy so as to prevent run-ins with pesky irritants? Can you call on helpful spirits to ensure that what’s growing in your life will continue to thrive? SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): The fates have conspired to make it right and proper for you to be influenced by Sagittarian author Mark Twain. There are five specific bits of his wisdom that will serve as benevolent tweaks to your attitude. I hope you will also aspire to express some of his expansive snappiness. Now here’s Twain: 1. “You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.” 2. “Education consists mainly in what we have unlearned.” 3. “It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.” 4. “When in doubt, tell the truth.” 5. “Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does the work.” CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): “My grandfather used to tell me that if you stir muddy water it will only get darker,” wrote I.G. Edmonds in his book Trickster Tales. “But if you let the muddy water stand still, the mud will settle and the water will become clearer,” he concluded. I hope this message reaches you in time, Capricorn. I hope you will then resist any temptation you might have to agitate, churn, spill wine into, wash your face in, drink or splash around in the muddy water. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): In 1985, Maurizio Cattelan quit his gig at a mortuary in Padua, Italy and resolved to make a living as an artist. He started creating furniture, and ultimately evolved into a sculptor who specialized in satirical work. In 1999, he produced a piece depicting the Pope being struck by a meteorite, which sold for $886,000 in 2001. If there were ever going to be a time when you could launch your personal version of his story, Aquarius, it would be in the next 10 months. That doesn’t necessarily mean you should go barreling ahead with such a radical act of faith, however. Following your bliss rarely leads to instant success. It
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may take years. (16 in Cattelan’s case.) Are you willing to accept that? PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Tally up your physical aches, psychic bruises and chronic worries. Take inventory of your troubling memories, half-repressed disappointments and existential nausea. Do it, Pisces! Be strong. If you bravely examine and deeply feel the difficult feelings, then the cures for those feelings will magically begin streaming in your direction. You’ll see what you need to do to escape at least some of your suffering. So name your griefs and losses, my dear. Remember your near-misses and total fiascos. As your reward, you’ll be soothed and relieved and forgiven. A Great Healing will come. ARIES (March 21-April 19): I hope you’re making wise use of the surging fertility that has been coursing through you. Maybe you’ve been reinventing a long-term relationship that needed creative tinkering. Perhaps you have been hammering together an innovative business deal or generating new material for your artistic practice. It’s possible you have discovered how to express feelings and ideas that have been half-mute or inaccessible for a long time. If for some weird reason you are not yet having experiences like these, get to work! There’s still time to tap into the fecundity. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Uruguayan writer Eduardo Galeano defines “idiot memory” as the kind of remembrances that keep us attached to our old self-images, and trapped by them. “Lively memory,” on the other hand, is a feisty approach to our old stories. It impels us to graduate from who we used to be. “We are the sum of our efforts to change who we are,” writes Galeano. “Identity is no museum piece sitting stock-still in a display case.” Here’s another clue to your current assignment, Taurus, from psychotherapist Dick Olney: “The goal of a good therapist is to help someone wake up from the dream that they are their self-image.” GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Sometimes, Gemini, loving you is a sacred honor for me— equivalent to getting a poem on my birthday from the Dalai Lama. On other occasions, loving you is more like trying to lap up a delicious milkshake that has spilled on the sidewalk, or slow dancing with a giant robot teddy bear that accidentally knocks me down when it suffers a glitch. I don’t take it personally when I encounter the more challenging sides of you, since you are always an interesting place to visit. But could you maybe show more mercy to the people in your life who are not just visitors? Remind your dear allies of the obvious secret—that you’re composed of several different selves, each of whom craves different thrills. CANCER (June 21-July 22): Liz, my girlfriend when I was young, went to extreme lengths to cultivate her physical attractiveness. “Beauty must suffer,” her mother had told her while growing up, and Liz heeded that advice. To make her long blonde hair as wavy as possible, for example, she wrapped strands of it around six empty metal cans before bed, applied a noxious spray, and then slept all night with a stinky, clanking mass of metal affixed to her head. While you may not do anything so literal, Cancerian, you do sometimes act as if suffering helps keep you strong and attractive—as if feeling hurt is a viable way to energize your quest for what you want. But if you’d like to transform that approach, the coming weeks will be a good time. Step One: Have a long, compassionate talk with your inner saboteur. Homework: When they say “Be yourself,” which self do they mean? Testify at freewillastrology.com. Go to RealAstrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny’s Expanded Weekly Audio Horoscopes and Daily Text Message Horoscopes. The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700.
::BY THE EDITORS OF ANDREWS MCMEEL
Inexplicable
O
dessa, Texas, resident Ernesto Baeza Acosta, 34, has legally changed his name to Ernesto Trump and declared himself the son of Donald Trump. His Facebook page features photographs of Ernesto wearing a Trump-like wig and asks viewers to “Please share this so that my dad, your president, can see this and spend time with me.” Ernesto is a fan of President Trump, but his immigrant mother is unamused about his name change.
Unclear on the Concept
David Blackmon identified himself as a drug dealer when he called the Okaloosa County Sheriff’s Office (Florida) on July 16 to report that $50 in cash and a quarter-ounce of cocaine had been stolen from his car. When officers investigated, they found a baggie with “suspected cocaine,” a crack pipe and a crack rock in the car. Blackmon was charged with possession of cocaine and drug paraphernalia.
Compelling Explanations
Everett Lee Compton Jr., 49, told Siloam Springs, Ark., police that marijuana “makes him do sick things” after they apprehended him for abusing female donkeys. The donkeys’ owners, Emert and Joyce Whitaker, had set up a surveillance camera and recorded Compton on three occasions putting a bag over a donkey’s head and placing his pelvis against its rear end. “It just made me sick to my stomach,” said Joyce Whitaker. “To know that she couldn’t tell nobody and that she was having to go through this.”
Technology Run Amok
A security robot named Steve suffered a soggy fatal error on July 17 when it tumbled down several steps and into a fountain in Washington, D.C. New to the job, the robot had been patrolling the Washington Harbor area of Georgetown, mapping out its features in an effort to prevent just such an accident. “He looked so happy and healthy,” an area mourner tweeted after the incident. Another observer’s tweet was less sympathetic. “Robots: 0; humans: 1.”
Least Competent Criminals
The Pink Panther, he ain’t. Police in Wayne County, N.C., are looking for a careless cat burglar who keeps waking people up as he robs them. At least one victim awakened by the slender white man in early July has seen him wearing a pink polka-dot beach towel around his head. Police aren’t sure if he’s actually gotten away with any loot. Three heads are apparently not better than one, as three China Grove, N.C., masterminds demonstrated on July 12. Rex Allen Farmer, his son, Rex Carlo Farmer, and the younger man’s girlfriend, Kayla Price, cooked up a scheme to rob the Mooresville gas station where the elder
Farmer worked. Surveillance video showed Carlo, disguised in a woman’s dress and wig, emptying the cash register as his father, the clerk on duty, stood by. Carlo then ran outside and removed the dress and wig, setting them on fire next to the building. However, the fire spread to a meter on the building and a privacy fence, thus summoning authorities. Police soon caught up to all three and arrested them.
The Animal Kingdom
An African grey parrot named Bud may have been the key witness in convicting 49-year-old Glenna Duram of White Cloud, Mich., in the shooting death of her husband, Martin, 46. The investigation of the 2015 shooting dragged on for a year before Martin’s first wife, who inherited the parrot, shared with a local TV station a videotape of Bud imitating two people having an argument, including the words “Don’t (expletive) shoot.” Three weeks later, Glenna Duram was arrested and charged with first-degree murder, and on July 19, she was found guilty. © 2017 Andrew McMeel Syndication
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THEBACK::ARTFORART’SSAKE
Stick Wad ::BY ART KUMBALEK
I
’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, I got the good news and I got the bad news—what’s the “goodâ€? and what’s the “badâ€? is up to you’s, but here it is: On one hand, I’m back from a summertime Up North odyssey 30 miles straight out of Hayward; on the other hand, I’ve returned queasily under-the-weather to the degree that there’s not much on my platter that I can shovel your way in the form of an essay, what the fock. But hey, thanks for taking care of the city— such as it is—while I was away. And yeah, the trip was OK, thanks for asking, until focking Ernie somehow managed to drop the car keys out of the goddamn boat for christ sakes. You know, when you go Up North you always hear about the deer ticks and the wood ticks and I say big focking deal, ’cause I tell you that the ones that really get under your skin are the lunafocking-tics you’re vacationing with, I kid you not. Yeah yeah, we were way up northwest around your Sawyer/BayďŹ eld counties, a quaintly developed area of the state where I swear Woodrow Wilson is still president. But it’s one heck of a scenic locale, and although job opportunities seem slim, there appears to
be plenty of eating opportunities given the load of girth the huge majority of residents have swaddled themselves with. Cripes, my buddy and political campaign-fund solicitor Herbie goes about 225 lbs. but Haywardians always threw in a couple extra bucks out of sympathy when he panhandled them for the cause ’cause they thought he was sick-thin from chemo treatments or something. We held our brainstormin’ retreat that could change the future of this country at my buddy Ernie’s brother-in-law’s state-of-the-art summer home. Yes sir, state of the art provided you were a contemporary of Jean Nico-focking-let. And spacious? You bet. How would the equivalent size of three modern-apartment bedroom closets, with equivalent toilet facilities to boot, sound to you? Well, whatever it is you hear Up North, it sure wouldn’t be the sound of a ush toilet if you’d have stayed where we did. And I’m also tight on time on account of having to meet the fellas up over by the Uptowner tavern/charm school, so’s we can make our plans for going to see the new Apes Planet movie. But I got to tell you, even if this movie is Oscar-worthy, it won’t seem like a genuine Apes movie to me without Chuck Heston in it. Talk about a guy with a style. I don’t want to say the guy brought a curious quality of woodenness to his characters, but whereas most of your actors put on some makeup before doing a scene, Chuck would slap on a fresh coat of varnish and be ready for action, what the fock.
You know, in this new batch of Apes movies, the monkeys are as smart or smarter than the humans—like they’re super aliens from outer space somewheres. Which reminds me, I read an article the other day about this institute out in California to search for extraterrestrial intelligence. And I’ll tell you’s that anytime I hear of some outďŹ t out of Californica that goes by the name of an institute or academy, my nut radar starts to hyperventilate. Contacting aliens? A terrible idea. What if we get mixed up with a bunch of conquistadors from whoknows-where? Hey, go ask the Aztecs how that panned out for them—if you can ďŹ nd any. And speaking of species of lesser intelligence, our President Orange Circus Peanut apparently entertains a novel notion regarding personal ďŹ tness. The following is from a Trump biography by a couple
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of Washington Post writers, by way of Kali Holloway from Alternet: “After college, after Trump mostly gave up his personal athletic interests, he came to view time spent playing sports as time wasted. Trump believed the human body was like a battery, with a ďŹ nite amount of energy, which exercise only depleted. So he didn’t work out. When he learned that John O’Donnell, one of his top casino executives, was training for an Ironman triathlon, he admonished him, ‘You are going to die young because of this.’â€? Talk about compassion, ain’a? And this from a guy who was supposed to have a great fantastic plan for health care, a great beautiful plan— part of which, I imagine, that if you now couldn’t afford the astro-focking-nomical health insurance plan, insurance companies would be mandated to rent you a shovel so’s you could choose to dig your own focking grave, what the fock. Cripes, I got to go relax. Anyways, it’s nice to be back where a guy like me can see concrete again wherever he looks, ’cause I’m Art Kumbalek and I told you so.
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