May 18, 2017 Print Edition

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TURNING MILWAUKEE INTO A GARDEN How urban farmers are transforming the city... page 6

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::NEWS&VIEWS

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FEATURES | POLLS | TAKING LIBERTIES | EXPRESSO

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Alice’s Garden

Vegetables from Victory Garden Initiative

Turning Milwaukee into a Garden

How urban farmers are transforming the city ::BY MARY SUSSMAN hether people are growing their own food in gardens in their own back yards or in community gardens in vacant lots, urban farming is improving the lives of thousands in Milwaukee. Urban gardeners are growing fresh produce by the ton. Along the way, they have become knowledgeable about agriculture and farming entrepreneurship, while eating well, getting to know each other better and improving their neighborhoods.

For example, since 2007, Groundwork Milwaukee has helped transform nearly 100 vacant lots into community gardens and public spaces. Since 2008, the Victory Garden Initiative has installed about 3,500 raised beds in greater Milwaukee, most of them in private yards. All Peoples Church has been farming a city lot for 20 years, but has greatly expanded its growing capacity in the past four years.

“We used to think, we would reach a saturation point,” says Gretchen Mead, founder and executive director of the Victory Garden Initiative. “But every year more people buy our gardens,” during the Victory Garden Blitz in May. During the Blitz, volunteers install raised beds for gardeners. Mead says that the increasing income disparity between the rich and poor may be a driving force behind the popularity of urban gardening along with a new awareness about health issues related to processed food.

6 | M AY 1 8 , 2 0 1 7

Mead grew up in rural Illinois. She started farming in the front yard of her Shorewood home because she needed to reconnect with her rural roots. She believes that many urban dwellers are cut off from the land, and that farming is good for the soul.

“It’s just part of our humanity,” she says. “We have been agriculturists for generations and generations. Farming is part of our evolutionary history. It’s kind of like if you cut off a dog’s tail, they don’t wag, and they just seem a little less dog.”

Antoine Carter is program director at Groundwork Milwaukee, a program developed by the National Park Service with programs in 23 cities. Groundwork Milwaukee helps groups that want to establish a community garden to get started. Sometimes residents want to plant orchards or create pocket parks in addition to gardens. Groundwork Milwaukee helps with building raised beds and offers basic agricultural instruction. It also helps the group realize its unique vision for developing the community.

“Because the availability of vacant lots has increased, the number of beds has increased,” Carter says. “It has provided a unique opportunity for people to transform their neighborhoods and to provide little niches that provide checkpoints.”

He adds that Groundwork goes beyond growing food and is Farmers continued on page 8 >

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NEWS&VIEWS::FEATURE > Farmers continued from page 6

Growing Power’s Will Allen

Farm to Forx Promotes Local Farming ::BY ROB HULLUM

CORE/El Centro’s beautiful rooftop garden at 130 E. Bruce St. in Walker’s Point will be the setting for a night of music, dance and dining provided by students attending Bay View High School and La Causa Charter School on Saturday, May 20.

The evening’s special guest will be Will Allen, former professional basketball player, founder and CEO of Growing Power and author of The Good Food Revolution, who will speak about what needs to be done to maximize the potential of urban agriculture. “Urban agriculture is probably the fastest growing form of agriculture nationally, but now we have to scale it up so that we’re able to provide the healthy, sustainable and organic food that folks, regardless of their economic situation, need,” Allen said.

Following the dinner, Allen will be selling and signing copies of The Good Food Revolution. A $5 fee for the book signing will go to Growing Power and CORE/El Centro.

The event runs from 5-8 p.m. Seating costs $55 per person or $100 per couple. Call 414-484-3063 or email lorganix.wi@gmail.com to reserve your seat.

8 | M AY 1 8 , 2 0 1 7

the first point of contact for any group wanting to start a project. Carter can help a group with its programming and find volunteer yoga or Zumba instructors or can connect groups to cooking and canning classes. Recently, Groundwork Milwaukee partnered with True Skool, which teaches knowledge through hip-hop lyrics. They commissioned young people to design and paint 20 Little Free Libraries, which are currently being installed in the community gardens.

Carter estimates some 10,000 people actively participate in the planting and maintenance of the gardens. Groundwork Milwaukee figures that more than 200,000 people benefit from their projects and programs.

The gardens are self-sufficient. Many have simple rainwater harvesting systems, which help with storm water runoff and provide a free source of water for the beds. Farmers are taught simple irrigation practices. Some spaces have rain or pollinator gardens. Groundwork Milwaukee has planted almost 6,000 shrubs and trees and close to 30,000 bulbs and perennials in public lots or residential rain gardens. When there is a bounty of produce in summer, some gardens turn into mini farmers’ markets and sell to local residents.

“That brings other people to the garden who may not have wanted to grow the food, but they will pay for the food,” Carter says. “They can buy right around the corner.”

Gardening can have a beneficial effect on the economy of a household. “In the middle of the season when your cup runneth over with tomatoes and everything, I would say you save hundreds of dollars,” Carter says.

Groundwork Milwaukee runs Young Farmers, a program to teach healthy habits through entrepreneurship. Starting at 10, the children tend a garden bed. They then either sell the produce at a farmers market or through a CSA, gaining customer service and inventory skills in the process.

Carter says the benefits of urban gardening include physical activity and de-stressing. “It helps you get purpose in life,” he says. Community gardens provide a site for a lot of social interaction. The spring cleanup, the summer barbecues and the harvest fest all take place at the garden. “You throw in an art project and that really brings people together,” Carter says. “A garden really just creates those areas of intersection among those people who fly by night and never talk to each

other. Residents come to the garden, and they’re like, ‘I didn’t know this was going on.’ They meet someone new and they get into the groove.” Carter is working now to create clusters among nearby gardens to enhance communication and teamwork.

All Peoples Church at Second and Clarke streets has had a community garden for 20 years. “I like to say we gardened before it was cool to garden,” says Susan Holty, a volunteer, who manages the community garden. The All Peoples Church garden has 34 raised beds, two hoop greenhouses donated by Growing Power, 50 containers and an extensive rainwater harvesting system, along with apple, pear, plum and cherry trees. Around the perimeter of the property are blackberry and raspberry bushes.

Like Groundwork Milwaukee, the church has a program for children called Kids Working to Succeed. Last year 150 children participated in the program.

The program starts with Bible study. The program teaches the student to develop a good work ethic. They learn not to judge each other, to take care of and be kind to one other.

“They have to stick to those rules or they get warnings, and then they can’t work with us,” Holty says.

Last year the garden gave more than 800 pounds of produce to local residents. The garden also distributed 8,000 ears of corn, donated by a farmer who didn’t want to plow under his crops. Holty says she hopes to develop more relationships like this with other farmers.

“The community is just amazing,” she says. “They want to come together. They want to eat good food. They want to teach each other. They want to remember their history, their cultures. For all that they say I teach them, they teach me so much more,” she continues. “We are not doing anything for somebody. We’re doing it together.”

Mead sees a bright future for urban agriculture and hopes to expand her Victory Garden Initiative across the Midwest.

Already, the Victory Garden Blitz has trained gardeners in Green Bay, Wis., and Berea, Ky., to do the Blitz. “It can really catalyze food movements within communities. In Milwaukee, I’ve seen how it just emboldened everyone. That was really part of the momentum of it all, where people just claimed it and said, ‘We’re going to grow our own food right here in the city.’”

Comment at shepherdexpress.com.

Urban gardening resources: Alice’s Garden: 414-687-0122; alicesgardenmke.com Groundwork Milwaukee: 414-763-9947; groundworkmke.org Growing Power: 414-527-1546; growingpower.org Home Gr/own Milwaukee: 414-286-3748; homegrownmilwaukee.com Milwaukee County UW Extension: 414-256-4664; milwaukee.uwex.edu The Urban Ecology Center: 414-964-8505; urbanecologycenter.org Victory Garden Initiative: 414-431-0888; victorygardeninitiative.org

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MAY 18, 2017 | 9

NEWS&VIEWS::FEATURE

Preserving the Great Lakes Restoration Initiative WILL CONGRESS CONTINUE TO BLOCK TRUMP’S PLANS TO ENDANGER OUR ENVIRONMENT? ::BY ELIZABETH ELVING

T

he Great Lakes Restoration Initiative (GLRI) is not exactly controversial. Based on a plan laid out by the George W. Bush administration, the federal program was launched in 2010 and maintained through both of Barack Obama’s terms. During that time, it has funded thousands of projects countering habitat destruction, polluted runoff, invasive species and other urgent threats.

And, in spite of the political rancor that prevailed during those years, it’s enjoyed strong bipartisan support.

So on March 16, when the Trump administration released its “America First” budget blueprint recommending the elimination of GLRI funding among other massive cuts, opposition came swiftly from both sides of the aisle.

A group of 63 Democrats and Republicans from the House of Representatives sent a letter to the House appropriations leaders, requesting that they continue allocating the annual $300 million funding for GLRI in 2018. Tammy Baldwin, a member of the Senate Great Lakes Task Force, sent a letter to Scott Walker asking how he planned to make up for a loss of federal support. For his part, Walker told the Associated Press, “It makes sense for us to continue to make prudent investments in protecting and improving the Great Lakes.”

Those appalled by Trump’s plan got some comfort on April 30 when Congress, averting a shutdown, agreed on a spending package for fiscal year 2017 that preserved GLRI funding through September. Todd Ambs, Campaign Director for Healing Our Waters-Great Lakes Coalition, says this came as “very good news.”

“It enables us to keep the Great Lakes efforts on track, and certainly sends a strong signal that protecting drinking water for 30 million people in the region appears to still be a long-term national priority,” Ambs says. “But there’s obviously a lot more work to be done.”

With the 2017 spending bill in place, the initiative’s broad base of supporters now has a few months to make sure Congress continues to recognize the value of the Great Lakes, both as a local resource and a national necessity.

ENVIRONMENTAL AND ECONOMIC IMPACT

Since it first went into effect, the GLRI has dedicated $2.2 billion to restoration efforts in the region. Of that, $331 million has gone to Wisconsin, funding a total of 416 projects statewide. In the Milwaukee area, that has included cleaning up the Milwaukee Estuary (a designated Area of Concern), and supporting stream restoration and water quality monitoring by the Milwaukee Metropolitan Sewerage District.

As celebrated as such green initiatives are, not everyone agrees they should take pre10 | M AY 1 8 , 2 0 1 7

cedence over other pressing concerns when funds are limited. But while the economy and the environment are often pitted against one another in budgetary and policy disputes, Great Lakes restoration benefits both.

“We recognize the importance of the lake both economically and aesthetically,” says Steve Baas, Senior Vice President of Governmental Affairs for the Metropolitan Milwaukee Association of Commerce, which is a member of the Great Lakes Metro Chambers Coalition.

“We look at the restoration initiative as a way to enhance one of our unique amenities both economically and in terms of a sense of place.”

Wisconsin’s commercial future is inextricably tied to the health of the lakes that border it.

In addition to providing drinking water, they encourage development, draw tourists and create jobs. The GLRI’s restoration strategy could generate as much as $2.3 billion in increased property values in the Milwaukee metro area alone, according to a study from the Brookings Institution. “It’s hard to do economic development in a toxic sediment area,” says Ezra Meyer, Water Resources Specialist for Clean Wisconsin. “But once you clean those things up you lay the table for other positive economic activities to follow.”

Milwaukee’s manufacturing is also largely dependent on water, motivating local companies to advocate for Great Lakes restoration. In 2013, Lakefront Brewery joined the National Resources Defense Council’s “Brewers for Clean Water” campaign, which has engaged dozens of breweries in the long-term protection of their main ingredient.

“If we don’t have clean water, it affects jobs. It affects manufacturing. We really need clean water to do our work,” says Chris Ranson, Director of Tourism and Environmental Programs for Lakefront. Dirty water requires more chemicals and processing to be prepared for consumption, and the quality of beer depends on the quality of the water it was brewed with. Ranson notes that brewers also depend on the water for cleaning. Furthermore, Lake-

front is located right on the Milwaukee River, making it one of the city’s many waterfront businesses that count on clean rivers and lakes to attract customers when the weather is nice.

A NATIONAL RESOURCE

Trump’s budget blueprint states that it “returns the responsibility for funding local environmental efforts and programs to state and local entities, allowing the Environmental Protection Agency to focus on its highest national priorities.” This language suggests 1) that the GLRI is not a high national priority, and 2) that state and local governments are capable of funding it adequately without federal help. Many GLRI supporters would disagree on both counts.

The Great Lakes contain more than 90% of America’s fresh surface water. If the Great Lakes-St. Lawrence region were its own country, it would be the third largest economy in the world. “These resources exist in a local area, but they are of national importance,” Meyer says. “That’s why the federal funding for doing something to fix them has always made so much common sense.”

In her letter to Walker, Baldwin wrote “Wisconsin has received millions in federal investments from this federal program and local governments simply do not have the resources to replace this funding.”

Echoing this assertion, Ambs points to how the pace of toxic hot spot cleanup has accelerated since the GLRI went into effect. He also notes that some of the Wisconsin Department of Natural Resources’ staff positions are entirely funded by grants from the EPA. “Those staff disappear if funding is not maintained,” Ambs says. “There’s just no way that you’re going to be able to address these things without the federal government. And why should we? What priorities are greater than the most significant surface freshwater resources on the planet?”

LOOKING TO 2018

The proposed cuts don’t seem to be a judgment on the GLRI itself. Rather, Trump’s socalled “skinny budget” paints the new administration’s priorities—slashing domestic spending, limiting federal involvement, pumping up defense—in the broadest of brush strokes, leaving many popular programs in doubt. “I think they wanted to make a big splash and show they were cutting all this stuff. And all kinds of babies got thrown out with all kinds of bath water.” Meyer says.

Like many other initiatives slashed by the skinny budget, the GLRI’s future ahead of the Sept. 30 deadline remains unclear. On this front, Baas views the proposed cuts not as a threat so much as an opportunity for the GLRI to prove its worth.

“When you’re spending taxpayer money on a program, it’s not a bad thing for the program to have to justify its value proposition,” Baas says. “Fortunately for those of us who are fans of the Great Lakes Restoration Initiative, I think it’s one of the programs that can make a compelling case.”

A statement from the press office of Jim Sensenbrenner, who supports the GLRI, stated “Due to its strong bipartisan support and the fact that it has been consistently funded since its inception in 2010, Congressman Sensenbrenner is optimistic that it will receive the funding necessary in [fiscal year] 2018.”

Many advocates are not taking anything for granted, however. Instead, they are attending town halls, planning awareness campaigns and sending advocates to Capitol Hill. In doing so, they hope to present a united front that is not limited to any one region, industry or political party. “As far as we can tell, the only person in the United States that’s opposed to Great Lakes restoration is in the White House,” Ambs says.

“So we’ll continue making our case and hope to prevail in next year’s budget.”

Comment at shepherdexpress.com. n SHEPHERD EXPRESS

NEWS&VIEWS

::SAVINGOURDEMOCRACY ( MAY 18 - MAY 24, 2017 )

E

ach week, the Shepherd Express will serve as a clearinghouse for any and all activities in the greater Milwaukee area that peacefully push back against discriminatory, reactionary or authoritarian actions and policies of the Trump administration and other activities that promote social justice. We will publicize and promote actions, demonstrations, planning meetings, teach-ins, party-building meetings, drinking/discussion get-togethers or any other actions that are directed toward fighting back to preserve our liberal democratic system.

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Saturday, May 20

Peace Action Wisconsin: Stand for Peace, noon-1 p.m., Corner of Capitol Drive and Oakland Avenue

Every Saturday, from noon-1 p.m., concerned citizens join with Peace Action Wisconsin to protest war. Signs will be provided for those who need them. Protesters are encouraged to stick around for conversation and coffee afterwards.

Laughing Liberally, 8 p.m., ComedySportz Milwaukee (420 S. First St.)

Laughing Liberally Milwaukee is a progressive political comedy show hosted by comedian, satirist and talk radio host Matthew Filipowicz. Performers include: Chastity Washington, Bob Rok, Amanda Cohen, Jihan Batuman, Kaitlin McCarthy and sketch comedy group, The Accountants Of Homeland Security. The show will also include an interview with Alan Schultz, an activist and advocate with Ex Prisoners Organizing and Milwaukee’s Incarcerated Workers of the World Organizing Committee.

Tuesday, May 23

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Close MSDF Picket, noon-1:30 p.m., Milwaukee County Courthouse (901 N. Ninth St.)

This protest, organized by the Milwaukee Branch of the Industrial Workers of the World and Ex Prisoners Organizing, aims to shut down the Milwaukee Secure Detention Facility. “The facility was built and is run using funds that should be used for diversionary programs to keep people out of jail, instead it’s being used to keep them on supervision under arbitrary and vindictive probation and parole officers,” says the event’s Facebook page.

Wednesday, May 24

Refuel the Resistance, 5-8 p.m., Bounce Milwaukee (2801 S. Fifth Court)

Every Wednesday, Bounce Milwaukee offers a space to organize, as well as a free drink to anyone who brings evidence of resistance in the past week, including protest signs, an email to an elected official or a selfie at the capital.

Milwaukee Talks Green—Renewable Energy + Solar Solutions, 6:30-8 p.m., Outpost Natural Foods Co-op, (2826 S. Kinnickinnic Ave.)

This month’s Milwaukee Talks Green is focused on renewable energy and solar solutions. Participants will learn how Wisconsin compares to other states in solar energy use and how they might be able to afford solar themselves.

The event is free and open to the public.

To submit to this column, please send a brief description of your action, including date and time, to savingourdemocracy@shepex.com. Together, we can fight to minimize the damage that this administration has planned for our great country.

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M AY 1 8 , 2 0 1 7 | 11

NEWS&VIEWS::TAKINGLIBERTIES

The Republican Lying Problem ::BY JOEL MCNALLY

T

he biggest problem Republicans have as they twist themselves into knots trying to support Donald Trump’s steady stream of lies is the president himself can’t keep his fraudulent cover stories straight. Vice President Mike Pence, House Speaker Paul Ryan and other Republican leaders got caught out in public peddling the absurd White House claim that Trump fired FBI Director James Comey—get ready to slap your foreheads—because Comey acted improperly investigating Hillary Clinton’s emails and handed the presidency to Trump.

That hilarious whopper lasted less than a day before Trump admitted in an interview with NBC’s Lester Holt that he decided to fire Comey before he ever met with the Justice Department official assigned to write the Clinton document as an excuse. Instead, Trump immediately connected Comey’s firing directly to the issue virtually everyone in Washington, Republican or Democrat, knew was Trump’s real problem with Comey.

That, of course, was the on-going FBI investigation into possible collusion between the Trump campaign and Russian covert interfer-

ence in the presidential election. “In fact, when I decided to just do it, I said to myself, I said, ‘You know, this Russia thing with Trump and Russia is a made-up story,” Trump told Holt.

Subverting American Democracy No one knows yet what hard evidence the FBI might uncover, but it’s another glaring Trump falsehood to call possible subversion of a U.S. election by a long-standing enemy of American democracy “a made-up story.”

Every U.S. intelligence agency—and there are many more than you know—has concluded Russian operatives secretly used disinformation and other propaganda tactics to try to sway the election for Trump. And it’s not made up that since the election we’ve learned of previously unreported meetings between Russian intelligence agents and numerous key Trump campaign officials including son-in-law Jared Kushner, former Campaign Manager Paul Manafort and National Security Adviser Michael Flynn, later forced to resign for lying about such meetings.

A few Republicans feign concern for democracy even as they pursue policies demonstrating their absolute contempt for voting rights and the racial and religious diversity of America. The Republican version of populism excludes much of the population. The most important political priority for Republicans these days is to minimize the fallout from any congressional inves-

tigations into the Russia connection that could threaten total Republican control of the presidency and both houses of Congress.

Comey’s independent FBI investigation, with the power to uncover criminal acts and recommend charges, was a grave threat not only to Trump’s presidency, but also to Republicans in Congress.

The irony is Trump’s desperate attempt to torpedo that investigation by firing Comey only increases the peril for his presidency and for Republicans. Trump’s admission that the Russian investigation was a primary motive will make it increasingly uncomfortable for Republicans to continue resisting demands for an independent, non-partisan special prosecutor to oversee the FBI investigation.

Trump’s Man at the FBI? It would take a special kind of ignorance to trust any FBI director hand-picked by Trump to pursue evidence of his campaign’s collusion with the Russians wherever it might lead.

It’s been difficult for Republican leaders to call Trump out on many of his most outrageous lies because, of course, they’re the ones who invented blatant lying as a Republican strategy.

Trump has simply pushed it to embarrassingly transparent extremes.

For some reason, Ryan has always enjoyed a much higher reputation for honesty in the media than Trump. That’s ironic since it was Ryan who set the standard for Trump’s brazen dishonesty

four years earlier in his acceptance speech as Mitt Romney’s vice presidential running mate.

A Fox News online columnist, of all people, described Ryan’s convention speech as “an apparent attempt to set the world record for the greatest number of blatant lies and misrepresentations slipped into a single political speech.” Provable lies included Ryan blaming President Obama for the closing of the GM plant in his hometown of Janesville that was announced in June 2008, under George W. Bush.

And, of course, since the election, the lies of Trump and Ryan have been remarkably in sync.

They both claim they’re improving health care and lowering the cost for everyone with a bill destroying it for 24 million people and driving costs out of sight for older and less wealthy Americans.

But Republicans are entering dangerous new territory now if they continue to support obvious Trump lies as he attempts to disrupt a criminal investigation. Legal penalties for obstruction of justice can be much more severe than the consequences for broken campaign promises.

Most people may not be thinking about the 2018 mid-term elections yet, but Republicans certainly are as Trump has raised the uproar in Washington to Watergate levels barely 100 days into his presidency. We can expect Ryan and other Republican leaders to try to lay low for as long as possible while they look for some safe place to hide. There may not be any.

Comment at shepherdexpress.com. n

NEWS&VIEWS::POLL

You Don’t Believe Republicans Will Repeal and Replace Obamacare Last week we asked if you thought Republicans would ultimately succeed in their efforts to repeal and replace Obamacare. You said: n Yes: 28% n No: 72%

What Do You Say? Do you believe that by sharing highly classified information with the Russian government Donald Trump ultimately put American lives at risk? n Yes n No Vote online at shepherdexpress.com. We’ll publish the results of this poll in next week’s issue.

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NEWS&VIEWS::ISSUEOFTHEWEEK

Expecting Something for Nothing

O

ur transportation system desperately needs to be upgraded and in some cases completely rebuilt, but the Republicans in Madison who control state government do not want to pay for it. They have three choices: don’t spend any additional monies on transportation, borrow and spend the money as they have been doing for the past few budgets, or actually raise and spend some tax revenues to pay for expenditures.

Whether you own a house, a car or a business, you understand that you need to make repairs and improvements every year or you are failing to protect the value of your assets.

Responsible people estimate the costs of these annual repairs and improvements and budget for them. If it is a major expenditure like a roof on a house that will last 20 years, you would borrow the money and budget enough money for the next 20 years to cover the debt service on the loan. That’s either Accounting 101 or, for those who never took an accounting course, it is just common sense.

Splits Forming within the Republican Caucuses

We assume the Republicans controlling the legislature do that budgeting for their personal or private business assets, but when it comes to social assets, like roads and bridges and many other government-owned resources of which they are currently custodians—resources for the rest of us—they seem to have trouble acting like responsible adults. They want to spend the money to make their constituents and the special interests happy, but they just don’t want to raise the money needed to pay for their expenditures.

This year, it is becoming a more difficult issue for the Republicans because some of their members are balking at their irresponsible past practices of simply borrowing the money they need and passing the costs on to the future. After years of borrowing and borrowing, some of the Republican legislators are beginning to argue that they should assume the responsibility for these expenditures and not simply push the problem down the road. This very important issue is now causing splits not only within both the Senate and Assembly Republican caucuses but also between the two caucuses.

Republican Leadership at Odds on Taxes

The Senate Majority Leader Scott Fitzgerald (R-Juneau) wants to continue the practice of borrowing and spending, and when questioned about how he is going to pay for the debt service on this borrowed money, he said SHEPHERD EXPRESS

it would come from the general fund revenues, the same money used for education, health care, senior care and veterans, for example.

Essentially he would take from those programs to pay the annual principle and interests on the money borrowed for transportation.

Gov. Scott Walker is willing to negotiate with the legislature on funding transportation as long as he can say he didn’t raise taxes since he is now running for a third term as governor.

The adults in the room seem to be in the Assembly. Speaker Robin Vos (R-Rochester) seems willing to discuss raising taxes. We applaud that because you can’t continue to run the state with rising costs throughout the economy yet be unwilling to raise more money to cover the costs. We can’t continue to cut education and other important state responsibilities without Wisconsin becoming another Alabama or Louisiana. Raising taxes is not popular with anyone, but any adult knows that you get what you pay for, and if Wisconsin wants to attract jobs and grow businesses, they must have very good infrastructure and an excellent education system. That’s what businesses need to be competitive and grow.

Some Tax Ideas Coming Out of the Republican Assembly Caucus

If Wisconsin chooses to do the adult thing, it needs to raise some taxes to deal with our deferred maintenance and to invest in our state to make it competitive for the 21st century.

Some members of the Assembly are working on ways to fund transportation without just borrowing more money; one such proposal is the creation of toll roads. Unfortunately, at the same time they are talking about this they are again talking about a tax cut heavily skewed toward the wealthy and shortchanging the middle class.

One member of the Assembly, Dale Kooyenga (R-Brookfield), wants to redo the entire tax system, cutting taxes by $2.7 billion by 2019, with over a third of that tax cut going to a small group of wealthiest citizens, those earning more than $300,000 per year. Yes, while the legislature is scrambling to pay for its current expenditures like education and veteran services, Kooyenga wants a massive tax cut. However, with respect to transportation, he is acting responsibly by coming up with a plan to raise more revenue. He wants to cut the gas tax, currently at 32.9 cents per gallon, by 4.8 cents to 28.1 cents per gallon, but apply the state sales tax to gas. If you are paying $2.50 per gallon, the state sales tax of 5% would be 12.5 cents per gallon. So under Kooyenga’s plan, the total tax on gas would be the new gas tax of 28.1 cents per gallon plus 12.5 cents sales tax for a total of 40.6 cents, an increase of 7.7 cents per gallon that could go for responsibly paying for our transportation needs. Unfortunately the rest of his plan is regressive and moves Wisconsin to a flat tax of about 3.9%, which again will be benefit the wealthy.

Comment at shepherdexpress.com. n

AUG 3 - RETRO FUTURA

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AUG 4 - JOHN MELLENCAMP with Carlene Carter

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AUG 11 - SABRINA CARPENTER with Alex Aiono and New Hope Club

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AUG 13 - ALAN JACKSON with Lee Ann Womack

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AUG 8 - PENTATONIX

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Milwaukee Ale House

Milwaukee Sail Loft

Dining on Milwaukee’s Riverwalk

::BY MATTHEW J. PRIGGE

ith outdoor dining season soon upon us, it’s time to take a stroll along the Riverwalk in Downtown Milwaukee and highlight some of the river’s best stops for food, drink and stationary sightseeing.

Pier 106 Seafood Tavern,

106 W. Wells St.

With a cozy patio just north of the Wells Street Bridge on the west bank of the river, Pier 106 doesn’t offer the same kind of whooping party atmosphere as other outdoor dining spots along the Riverwalk, but with a higher-end seafood menu including seared scallops, baked sea bass and a terrific lobster mac ’n cheese, the dining experience here is best taken with a bit of subtlety and reserve. Downtown Milwaukee’s crooked streets give the patio a head-on view of East Wells Street, including the Pabst Theater, City Hall and the old Electric Railway and Light building (now the Milwaukee Repertory Theater’s Powerhouse Theater).

Rock Bottom Restaurant & Brewery, 740 N. Plankinton Ave.

Rock Bottom’s prime location along the river makes it one of the more attractive chain restaurants Downtown (they have 30 locations nationwide). Housed in the handsome white stone River Bank Plaza building (built 1912), Rock Bottom features a spacious Riverwalk dining area adjacent to public docking space.

The menu is heavy on pub food, but includes a wide selection of entrées. Rock Bottom also brews beer on site and offers a long list of specialty cocktails. Their

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location offers a great spot to watch both people and boats or to check out the artists’ entrance at the nearby Riverside Theater.

Milwaukee Ale House, 233 N. Water St.

With two levels of outdoor dining space and additional public space along the Riverwalk, Milwaukee Ale House is certainly one of the most visible options along the waterway and offers a menu and beer selection that will not disappoint. Located in the red brick Saddlery Building (built 1894), the Ale House opened in 1997, making it an elder statesman among restaurants in the reborn Third Ward. Their outdoor seating offers a good view of both the trains using the Menomonee River Railroad Bridge and the passing tour and party boats. Be sure to yell at these vessels in pirate-talk, because no one has ever, ever thought to do that before.

Screaming Tuna, 106 W. Seeboth St.

Screaming Tuna is an excellent option for those interested in either sushi or moving bridges. For sushi, Screaming Tuna has won a number of local dining awards and is the only Wisconsin sushi restaurant to be a Monterey Bay Aquarium Seafood Watch partner, insuring that their offerings are farmed and fished in environmentally friendly ways. For bridges, you get a prime view of both lift-style and bascule-style crossings, both of which can be seen in motion on

summer afternoons. With a little luck (and a short walk to the end of the Riverwalk), diners can also catch the Menomonee River swing bridge allowing passage to the valley.

Riverfront Pizzeria Bar & Grill, 509 E. Erie St.

Pizzerias and urban development don’t necessarily go hand in hand, but at the Riverfront, located in the Third Ward near the Summerfest parking lots, you can get great pizza, a specialty pie (try the Thai Chicken) and a peek at the past, present and future of the Milwaukee River. Across the river, the decommissioned Milwaukee River swing bridge and the former main elevator of the Milwaukee-Western Malting Company loom as monuments to the river’s industrial past. To the south of Riverfront’s patio (with boat docking) stand the twin condo buildings that kicked off the residential boom of the waterway. And to the north, the nearly completed DoMUS project and (on the other side of the river) the soon-to-begin 234 Apartments project continue the trend.

Milwaukee Sail Loft, 649 E. Erie St.

The menu at Sail Loft focuses on seafood—in small plates, sandwiches and entrées—but also features more traditional pub food and family favorites like meatloaf, pork loin and steak. Located at the confluence of Milwaukee’s three major rivers and Lake Michigan, diners will see a wide variety of vessels here, including the occasional 600-plus-foot freighter making her way to the inner harbor. The outdoor experience at Sail Loft is enhanced by the adjacent Erie Street Plaza public space, where it’s common to find spirited games of beanbags or ladderball in the summer.

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Insomnia Cookies Satisfies LateNight Sweet Cravings ::BY SHEILA JULSON

W

ho hasn’t at one time or another experienced late-night cravings for gooey chocolate chip cookies fresh from the oven? Insomnia Cookies (1804 E. North Ave.) specializes in late-night delivery of freshly baked cookies. The bakery chain opened its first Milwaukee location in May 2016 and has since been satisfying the midnight snack attacks of college students and anyone who just loves cookies.

Insomnia Cookies was founded in a college dorm room in 2003 at the University of Pennsylvania, by then student, Seth Berkowitz. The business concept was born out of Berkowitz’s dislike of heavy meals late at night, a love of food delivery and the realization that by the time you get hungry at night, nothing is open.

“We decided to open in Milwaukee because the area seemed to have a strong sense of community, and we wanted to be able to deliver and serve the UW-Milwaukee students as well,” noted Joshua Johnson, marketing manager for Insomnia Cookies’ Philadelphia-based headquarters. Most of Insomnia Cookies’ locations are near college campuses, allowing it to best serve students needing a study break or hosting parties.

Insomnia Cookies offers nine varieties of traditional cookies: chocolate chunk, classic with M&Ms, sugar, double chocolate chunk, oatmeal raisin, white chocolate macadamia, snickerdoodle, double chocolate mint and peanut butter chip. Deluxe cookies include triple chocolate chunk, s’mores and chocolate peanut butter cup. Ice cream, ’wiches (cookie ice cream sandwiches), brownies and cookie cakes round out the menu.

At the store, cookies can be purchased individually or in packs of six or more, with large advance orders also possible. Since cookies just aren’t the same without milk, a cooler has different types of milk to wash down your cookies.

For those who want warm cookies delivered to their homes or dorms, the minimum purchase is $6 with a $2.99 delivery fee. The delivery area is within two miles of the North Avenue retail location, and cookies can be delivered until 3 a.m.

The sweet aroma of Insomnia’s fresh-baked cookies takes you back to grandma’s kitchen.

Those who enjoy crisp or crunchy cookies are out of luck, as Insomnia Cookies are the chewy kind and remain so even after they’ve cooled off. When eaten warm, the gooey chocolate chunks melts down your chin; be sure to have a napkin handy. The sugar cookie is not for one with a wimpy sweet tooth, and the peanut butter cookies pack rich peanut butter flavor through a combination of peanut butter dough and peanut butter chips.

“It’s hard to choose just one flavor as the most popular,” said Johnson. “Guests seems to love mixing and matching our flavors into a dozen of their favorites, or ordering their favorite cookie a la mode with a scoop of ice cream. That said, we always have something up our sleeve and announce Limited Time offer products throughout the year, as well as seasonal offerings.”

In addition to the company’s website (insomniacookies.com), Johnson encourages people to follow their social media accounts for regular updates: facebook.com/insomniacookies, Twitter @InsomniaCookies, Instagram @insomniacookies, and Snapchat ‘cookiesVIP’.

Insomnia Cookies also has fundraising programs and cookie donations for organizations and causes.

2150 N. Prospect Ave. | 414-271-5278 | www.izumis.com

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Cheese Curds from Clock Shadow Creamery

Squeaky Cheese and More at Clock Shadow Creamery ::BY SHEILA JULSON

A

s one of the few urban creameries throughout the nation, Clock Shadow Creamery (138 W. Bruce St.) has, during its fiveyear existence, emerged as an award-winning cheese maker. Started by Cedar Grove Cheese owner Bob Wills, Clock Shadow Creamery’s signature products include cheddar cheese curds, plain and flavored quark, chévre and more.

Clock Shadow Creamery is named for the Allen-Bradley Clock Tower, located just a few blocks from their retail store and production space. To the company’s knowledge, Clock Shadow Creamery is the only urban creamery that has ever existed in Milwaukee, said Eric Schuetz, sales and marketing manager. He explained that Wills grew up in Milwaukee’s Bay View neighborhood and later married into the family that owned the historic Cedar Grove Cheese in Plain, Wis. As sort of a homecoming, Wills partnered with developer Juli Kaufmann as the anchor business for her Walker’s Point ecoconscious building that includes a hybrid elevator, rooftop gardens and a cistern that uses gray water to flush toilets.

At Cedar Grove, Wills developed green initiatives that he eventually brought to Clock Shadow’s operations, such as geothermal wells, direct sourcing of milk to ensure it is free from rBGH and rBST, and The Living Machine which purifies and returns to the watershed all wash

water used for cleaning equipment. Bob’s son, Bo Wills, handles Clock Shadow’s day-to-day operations.

“Wills also incubated dozens of other cheese makers, including Landmark Creamery in Albany, Wis. Part of his vision is to help other folks get off the ground; basically, he jokes that it’s a terrible business model,” Schuetz laughed.

Clock Shadow’s cheddar cheese curds are known not just for their fresh cheddar flavor, but also for a unique squeak heard while chewing the curds. Schuetz said their Squeaks—a name Wills trademarked—are a true cheddar cheese curd and their technique is not rushed; cheese makers stack and restack cheddar cheese slabs, letting the whey drain to low levels. Curds are cut by hand, go through a salting process, and then go to market the same day they are made. Large glass windows around the production area allow customers to catch a glimpse of the process.

Squeaks flavors include garlic dill, habanero, pizza and spicy ranch, made on Wednesday. Cajun, jalapeño and tomato basil Squeaks are made on Fridays. For those willing to brave the heat, the scorpion pepper curd can be made to order.

Clock Shadow Creamery is also known for its quark, a spreadable fresh cow’s milk cheese that originated in Germany and has a consistency similar to cream cheese. Schuetz noted it is a healthier cheese, unprocessed with no additives or preservatives. The quark comes in plain, maple syrup, garlic dill and a variety made with SA Braai’s chutney.

Other favorites include chévre, Sadie The Goat two-year aged cheddar made with goat’s milk (playfully named after the purported 1800s Hudson River pirate Sadie “The Goat” Farrell); double cream Colby; and cheddars flavored with Rishi Tea and Usinger’s Sausage. The new Chees-E-Que is Clock Shadow’s version of queijo coalho, a Brazilian cheese often grilled during beach get-togethers. It’s a high temperature cheese that can be cut into cubes and thrown right on the grill, kabob-style. The outside browns nicely while the cheese stays soft and does not get stringy or messy.

Customers can sample an array of cheeses made by Clock Shadow Creamery and Cedar Grove at the retail store. Wills believes in sustainable and socially just business practices, living up to his motto: “Enriching the culture by enriching the culture.”

For more information, visit clockshadowcreamery.com.

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A Japanese Legend in Brewers Blue

THE ALMOST-HISTORIC SPRING OF YUTAKA ENATSU::BY MATTHEW J. PRIGGE n September 1964, Masanori Murakami became the first Japaneseborn player to ever appear in the Major Leagues when he debuted as a relief pitcher with the San Francisco Giants. Although Murakami pitched well, he returned to Japan after the 1965 season, his presence with the Giants soon relegated to a footnote in Major League history. Twenty years later—and a full decade before Hideo Nomo appeared with the Dodgers and took baseball by storm—the Milwaukee Brewers quietly signed legendary Japanese hurler Yutaka Enatsu, giving him a chance to make baseball history.

Although Murakami had already broken baseball’s east-west barrier, he had not done so with the intention of playing in the Majors. He had been sent to the U.S. as a sort of baseball exchange student to gain experience in the Giants’ minor league system. But when his Japanese team, the Nankai Hawks, neglected to call him back to Japan, the Giants promoted him, signing his Major League contract without being able to read any of its contents. After the promotion, the Hawks insisted that the pitcher be returned, but the Giants refused. An arbitrator decided that Murakami would play one more season in San Francisco before returning to Japan.

The left-handed Enatsu debuted in Japan shortly after Murakami came home. He was a force from the start, setting a world record in 1968 with 401 strikeouts. He remained among the best starting pitchers in Japan for the next decade, after which he moved to the bullpen and became one of the nation’s most dominant relievers, twice winning league MVP awards and setting the career record for saves.

Major League’s Loose Cannon?

But Enatsu also had a reputation as a loose cannon. He had been involved in a widespread game fixing scandal in the 1969-’71 season that resulted in several star players being suspended or banned for life; Enatsu was let off with a stern warning. In 1984, he left the Nippon Ham Fighters, a team he had led to the Japan Series in ’81, for the Seibu Lions. It ended up being a down season for the 36-year-old Enatsu, and a quarrel with his manager over the pitcher’s health and off-the-field activities led to an in-season suspension and effectively ended his Japanese career.

The 1984 season had also been miserable one in Milwaukee. Less than two years removed from a World Series appearance, the Brewers lost 94 games. That off-season, with director of player development Ray Poitevint thinking outside of the box (the team had signed pitcher Ted Higuera from the Mexican League the year before, and he had since become one of the team’s top prospects), and with Enatsu having declared he was done with the rigors of Japanese baseball, the Brewers decided to give the lefty a shot.

Enatsu’s appearance in training camp for the Brewers in 1985 was treated as a minor curiosity in the states but was national news in Japan. A group of 30 Japanese reporters followed him to camp that spring. Even with his recent trouble, Enatsu was a national icon in Japan and had been the highest-paid pitcher in the league in 1984. But now, he was working out in the hot Arizona sun—trying to shed some excess weight and fighting for the last spot on a pitching staff of a last-place team.

Enatsu opened the spring with a series of impressive appearances but began to struggle as the team tried to stretch him out for multi-inning appearances. Long past his days

as a flame-thrower, Enatsu was now working with pure finesse. His fastball topped out in the mid-80s, but a looping changeup registered in the mid-60s, helping him to keep hitters off-balance.

A Funny Pitcher His sly sense of humor also kept followers off balance.

Asked by American reporters if he was learning English, he suggested that it might be easier if they all learned Japanese. Asked about his weight, which had been a concern since he arrived in camp, he gestured to a long-time Brewers employee who was often kidded about his 300-pound frame, saying that his own troubles didn’t look so bad by comparison. The language barrier between the Japanese press, some of whom spoke English, and the Brewers also made for some fun moments. Asked by a Japanese reporter if Enatsu was at “Fingers’ level,” Brewers manager George Bamberger struggled to figure out what he assumed to be a metaphorical question involving the human hand. After a confused exchange, the reporter clarified, “Do you think he is at the same level as Rollie Fingers?”

On April 2, the last day of camp, already knowing that Enatsu would not make the team, Bamberger inserted the pitcher in a game against the California Angels so that he could fulfill his dream of pitching to Reggie Jackson (the results of the match-up were not recorded in the newspapers following the game). That afternoon, the team announced that Enatsu would not make the team and would not be offered a spot with AAA Vancouver. Nearly 37, Enatsu had pitched well enough for an assignment (he recorded a 4.91 ERA in 11 innings), but had a limited future in the big leagues, if any. Enatsu said he was disappointed with the news, but was glad for the chance. Unable to find work with another club, Enatsu retired shortly after his release.

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Christina Hall as Mrs. Lovett and Andrew Varela as Sweeney Todd

The Killer Within?

SKYLIGHT’S ‘SWEENEY TODD’ EXPLORES SOME DISQUIETING HUMAN EMOTIONS ::BY JOHN JAHN

inner of eight Tony Awards, including Best Musical, Best Book and Best Score and nine Drama Desk Awards, composer Stephen Sondheim’s and lyricist Hugh Wheeler’s Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street, is an evocative tale that the Sondheim called his “black operetta.” Sweeney Todd opened on Broadway in 1979 and has never left the world’s stages—and for very good reasons, indeed.

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“Sweeney Todd is one of Sondheim’s masterpieces,” says Skylight Music Theatre Artistic Director Ray Jivoff.

“It combines the bloody thrills of a classic ‘penny dreadful’ with sharp, witty lyrics and thrilling music. It is a revenge tragedy that is, indeed, grisly and bloody, but it is also remarkably funny and poetic.” Clearly, it hits upon many human emotions all at once, and that quality, combined with the enormous talents who created it, have made it a lasting masterpiece of the musical stage. Sweeney Todd makes its third appearance at the Skylight this month, having previously been produced by the company both 20 and 30 years ago.

Making a return to the Skylight for the show is international director Matthew Ozawa who describes Sweeney Todd as “both a tragedy and comedy—a rollercoaster of a ride.” As for those all-too-human emotions that come to the surface in the musical, Ozawa explains, “Sweeney Todd explores Skylight some fascinating and dark ideas. How far would someMusic Theatre one go for revenge? What Sweeney Todd drives someone to kill?

May 19 - June 11 What choices lead someone Cabot Theatre to become mad? These are topics that continue to engage us—whether in a horror flick or a TV show like ‘Dexter.’ The brilliance of Sondheim is that he has managed to combine gruesome horror and dark humor into this epic, sweeping piece of music theater.”

With a 13-member production team and a cast of 19, this Skylight production doesn’t skimp on details or talent. The title character will be played by Andrew Varela. He has appeared on Broadway as Jean Valjean (Les Miserables) and as the eponymous Phantom (Phantom of the Opera); Varela previously played the Pirate King in Skylight’s The Pirates of Penzance. He’s also appeared on TV in commercials and on the series “Chicago Justice.”

Appearing as Mrs. Lovett—Todd’s culinary killer and accomplice—is Christina Hall, making her Skylight debut.

Hall has been successfully working the Chicago theater circuit for a decade. Making his debut with the Skylight in this production (as music director and conductor) is Benjamin Makino—current director of music for Opera Memphis. Sweeney Todd’s director, Matthew Ozawa, has worked with opera companies from Chicago to Oregon, from Canada to Santa Fe and from Macau to Thailand.

“Our production takes the grit of London at the turn of the century and infuses it with a modern sleekness that parallels the machine-like precision of how Sweeney enacts his revenge,” says Ozawa. Again, Sweeney Todd’s widespread appeal—its insight into some of our darker motives and thoughts that chill us to the bone—comes to the fore. “Sweeney makes us question our own demons and the darkness of humanity,” Ozawa explains. “Do we all possess it within ourselves to commit such horrific actions?” Compelling questions, indeed.

May 19-June 11 at the Cabot Theatre, Broadway Theatre Center, 158 N. Broadway. For tickets call 414-2917800 or visit skylightmusictheatre.org.

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M A Y 1 8 , 2 0 1 7 | 19

::THISWEEKINMILWAUKEE THURSDAY, MAY 18 Cream City Comedy Festival @ multiple venues

If you’re one of those people who doesn’t see live comedy—and there are a lot of you—this weekend is as good of a time as any to change that. The Cream City Comedy Festival has lined up 14 comedy shows featuring 60 comics over four days this weekend, at a price point designed to attract newcomers to the local comedy scene: free! Among the huge mass of local and national standups performing are Ben Kronberg, Anthony DeVito, Chastity Washington, Tom Wisdom, Ryan Holman, James Doyle, Jacob Lowrey, Shannon Noll and Tyler Menz. For a complete lineup of information visit the festival’s Facebook page at facebook.com/creamcitycomedy.

FRIDAY, MAY 19

MAM After Dark @ Milwaukee Art Museum, 7 p.m.

Each month, the Milwaukee Art Museum rounds up an eclectic array of entertainment for its MAM After Dark events, and May’s lineup is no exception. This month’s event sets its sights on Summerfest, which is sponsoring the evening and giving guests the chance to compete for what the festival describes as “an epic prize package” by participating in various activities throughout the night. Guests will have a chance to take in the museum’s “Milwaukee Collects” exhibit during its final weekend and to enjoy music from Ian & The Dream, DJ Shawna and WMSE’s Those HipHop Guys. There will also be team trivia and a prix fixe meal in the museum’s Café Calatrava Lounge (reservations required).

Bonobo w/ Jeremy Sole @ Turner Hall Ballroom, 8 p.m.

On his earliest albums, British producer Bonobo helped predict some of the dominant sounds of electronic music in the ’00s, and recent records have found him more on the pulse than ever. His bright, inviting 2013 effort, The North Borders, was his most commercially successful yet, and his latest, this January’s Migration, is even poppier and more accessible, especially on collaborations with Rhye and Nicole Miglis of Hundred Waters. At this show, Bonobo will perform with a full band.

Oddisee w/ GOOD COMPNY and Olivier St. Louis @ Shank Hall

In the spirit of early-’90s Native Tongues acts like De La Soul and A Tribe Called Quest, Washington rapper and producer Oddisee makes intricate, trend-defying hiphop fixated on the inner workings of his own psyche. His past releases have been primarily scored by his own knotty production, but for his latest record, The Iceberg, he adopts more of a live band sound and dives head first into more political territory than its predecessors; it’s truly an album for the Trump era. For this show, the rapper will be joined by his band GOOD COMPNY and soulful D.C. singer-songwriter Olivier St. Louis.

Oddisee

20 | M AY 1 8 , 2 0 1 7

FRIDAY, MAY 19 Gloss Weekend @ multiple venues

There’s an easy joke to be made here about how it seems like lately every weekend in Milwaukee is Gloss Weekend. The bands on Gloss Records’ roster are some of the busiest, most prolific and most popular in the city, and it’s rare to see a major Milwaukee music festival that doesn’t feature at least a few of them headlining. This three-day label showcase conveniently puts them all in one place, though. The weekend kicks off with a 9 p.m. bill at the Cactus Club featuring The Fatty Acids, Rio Turbo, Sex Scenes, Marielle Allschwang and Dashcam. Saturday features two bills: a 4 p.m. one at the Jazz Gallery with Soul Low, Lorde Fredd33, Piles, Soup Moat and D’Amato and one that night at the Riverwest Public House with Foreign Goods, NO/NO, Surgeons in Heat, Hello Death and Iron Pizza. Tickets for each show are $10, while a $25 pass covers all three shows and includes a label compilation cassette tape. The weekend ends Sunday night with a free 9 p.m. afterparty at High Dive featuring a surprise band and drink specials.

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Read our daily events guide, Today in Milwaukee, on shepherdexpress.com

WE DO HOUSE CALLS Gentle, Loving, Compassionate Health Care Just for Cats

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SATURDAY, MAY 20

R. Mutt w/ Stereoactive @ Linneman’s Riverwest Inn, 9 p.m.

R. Mutt have been kicking around the Milwaukee rock scene for nearly three decades now, and while plenty of fads have come and gone during that time, the group’s gimmick-free rock ’n’ roll remains much the same as it was during their very first shows around the Marquette University campus in the late-’80s. For this show, the group will celebrate the vinyl release of their fifth and latest collection of driven rock music, The Dash, which they recorded with producer Kevin Blackwell.

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SUNDAY, MAY 21

Twin Peaks Party @ Riverwest Public House, 6 p.m.

Unless your internet connection has been down for the last couple of years, you’re probably aware that David Lynch’s revolutionary cult TV show “Twin Peaks” has returned, after a quarter century, for a new season on Showtime this month. The series’ most diehard Milwaukee fans will celebrate that return with this free event, which will include a performance from a Twin Peaks-Angelo Badalamenti cover band called Leo Johnson & the New Shoes and a Twin Peaks-inspired burlesque performance ahead of the 8 p.m. screening of the show’s season premiere. There will also be a dessert potluck, so bring a pie or irrationally large spread of donuts to share.

MONDAY, MAY 22

Named after the great Townes Van Zandt, Justin Townes Earle shares two things in common with his songwriting father Steve Earle: a deep love of American music and a history of addiction. On past albums, Earle has proven the amazing things he can do with little more than just an acoustic guitar and some pedal-steel accompaniments, but for his new record, Kids in the Street, he broadens his scope, turning up the volume with the help of Bright Eyes producer Mike Mogis. The record draws heavily from the spirit of rockabilly, Memphis soul and Western swing music.

TUESDAY, MAY 23

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MAY 18 • 6-8:30pm

A colorful gathering of artists, art lovers and collectors.

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Music: Chris Hanson Band with Robin Pluer

Perfume Genius w/ serpentwithfeet @ Turner Hall Ballroom, 8 p.m.

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ART IN THE CITY

ART SALE & AWARDS SOIRÉE

Justin Townes Earle w/ The Sadies and Sammy Brue @ Turner Hall Ballroom, 7:30 p.m.

The solo alias of Seattle performer Mike Hadreas, Perfume Genius, first turned heads with his 2010 debut for Matador Records, Learning, a collection of emotionally fragile bedroom pop. From there, Hadreas’ sound has grown bigger and bolder and, somehow, even more devastating. His fourth and latest, No Shape, is his best yet—an often euphoric exploration celebration of love and resilience that draws heavily from the art-pop of predecessors like Kate Bush and David Bowie. Hadreas still takes his songs to some dark places, but this time he returns from that darkness with some truly jubilant payoffs. Expect to see this record all over year-end lists in December.

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M AY 1 8 , 2 0 1 7 | 21

SPRING HAS SPRUNG

A&E::PERFORMINGARTS PERFORMINGARTSWEEK PERFORMING WEEK

MUSIC

“Hooray for Hollywood!”

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Ella Fitzgerald and Mel Tormé

THEATRE

Lady Ella and the Velvet Fog ::BY JOHN JAHN

I

t’s with good reason that the great jazz singer Ella Fitzgerald (1917-1996) acquired the title “First Lady of Song.” Likewise with one of jazz’s most legendary male practitioners, Mel Tormé (19251999), whose utterly smooth delivery earned him the nickname “The Velvet Fog.” In his famous book, Jazz Singing, Will Friedwald commented (accurately) that “Tormé works with the most beautiful voice a man is allowed to have.”

The time to hear them both in concert is, alas, long past, but we can get a glimpse into their world with such as Sunset Playhouse’s Ella Meets Mel—a cabaret-style tribute show with Ellen Winters and Johnny Rodgers interpreting the two legends—backed by a jazz trio consisting of pianist Sam Steffke, bassist Hal Miller and drummer Jim Ryan. Ella Meets Mel comes to our area right from a critically acclaimed run in Chicago.

May 18-21, Furlan Auditorium, 800 Elm Grove Road, Elm Grove. For tickets call 262-782-4430 or visit sunsetplayhouse.com.

Cream City Comedy Festival

“It’s a free fest,” says one of CCCF’s founders, Phil Davidson, of this multi-day, multi-venue, second-annual comedy festival, though any money acquired will go to a worthy cause. “All donations collected will be sent to the ACLU.” More than 50 of the best local and regional standup comedians will be performing in a variety of show formats. This year’s CCCF features New York-based headliners Anthony DeVito and Ben Kronberg as well as Milwaukee’s own Chastity Washington. “We are over the moon to have Ben, Anthony and Chastity on board this year,” says CCCF co-founder Liz Ziner.

May 18-21 at various locations throughout Milwaukee. For more information and a full schedule of festival-related events, visit facebook.com/ creamcitycomedy or creamcityfest.com.

22 | M AY 1 8 , 2 0 1 7

Subtitled “A Big Band Celebration of Classic Hollywood Musicals” and featuring Dick Strauss with the Many Happy Returns Orchestra, “Hooray for Hollywood!” will allow attendees to travel back into something of a golden age for both the musical and film industries in America. This performance also features Rana Roman and The Radio Rosies. Classic musical fare like “Moon River,” “Over the Rainbow” and “Cheek to Cheek” are part and parcel of this ’30s-’50s visual and auditory time machine of a concert.

2 p.m., Saturday, May 20, Wilson Theatre at Vogel Hall, 929 N. Water St. For tickets call 414-273-7206 or online at marcuscenter.org.

“Yes, Yes, Nonets!”

The nonet is rather a rare bird in classical music; simply put, it’s a work for nine instrumentalists—a fascination halfway house between chamber music intimacy and orchestral breadth. Milwaukee Musaik will give the seldom-heard nonet its due in its next concert. The works will feature the interplay of glorious sounds from the harp, violin, viola, cello, oboe, flute, clarinet and bassoon. The program consists of Introduction and Allegro for Harp, Flute, Clarinet and String Quartet

by Maurice Ravel, Nonet in E-Flat Major, Op. 38 by Louise Farrenc and a reconstructed nonet version of Johannes Brahms’ lovely Serenade No. 1 in D Major, Op. 11.

7:30 p.m., Monday, May 22, Schwan Concert Hall, Wisconsin Lutheran College, 8815 W. Wisconsin Ave. For tickets visit milwaukeemusaik.org.

Ode to Music!

The Milwaukee Children’s Choir and all its satellite choirs join forces for the first time this year to celebrate…music! More than 400 voices will be raised in song under five different conductors.

As Artistic Director Marco Antonio Melendez announces: “[The audience] will be mesmerized by the level of musical sophistication and maturity produced by the musical scholars of Milwaukee Children’s Choir. Highlights from the concert include Mass No. 6 by György Orbán, familiar melodies in ‘Star Wars: John Williams is the Man,’” as well as MCC’s “annual graduation piece, ‘We Rise Again.’”

3 p.m., Saturday, May 20, St. Sebastian Catholic Church, 5500 W. Washington Blvd. For tickets, call 414-221-7040, or visit milwaukeechildrenschoir.org or brownpapertickets.com (search “ode to music”).

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Local NonProfits Want to advertise on this page? Contact Alissa at: alissa@shepex.com

Women Taking the Reins

A Horsemanship Workshop

Spring Session: May 31, June 1 and 2 REGISTER BY MAY 1, SAVE $20!

Summer Session: August 9, 10, 11 REGISTER BY JULY 1, SAVE $20!

Time: 6–8:30 p.m.

PLEASE ARRIVE 10 MINUTES PRIOR TO START

Cost: $150/person $50 DEPOSIT AT REGISTRATION AND BALACE DUE FIRST EVENING

To register call 414-379-2314 or email Lia at: liafarrier@gmail.com

What Are Hate Crimes and How to Build Inclusive Communities WITH Elana Kahn-Oren,

Director of the Jewish Community Relations Council of the Milwaukee Jewish Federation

No prior horse experience is necessary. Space is limited. Ten participants maximum per session.

“Mares” only—no stallions allowed. Th is is for big girls. Must be 18 or older.

Troubled by OCD? Participate in a clinical research study

steppingstonefarms.org 414-379-2314 1439 92nd St. Franksville, WI 53126

Wednesday, May 24 6pm

Rogers Behavioral Health is currently recruiting individuals (aged 18-65) with OCD symptoms to participate in testing a computer-based treatment program. The treatment, delivered on a smart phone in a controlled setting, is aimed at reducing the anxiety associated with the disorder.

To learn more, call 414-865-2600 or visit rogershospital.org/research Qualified participants will receive compensation.

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Wednesday, June 7, 2017 1700 W. Fond du Lac Ave. Milwaukee 5pm Cocktails and Silent Auction 6:30pm Dinner and Program

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M A Y 1 8 , 2 0 1 7 | 23

A&E::INREVIEW

JESSE WILLEMS

‘Only We Know Best’ Satirizes Dysfunctional Politics

I Edo de Waart

MUSIC

Edo de Waart’s Effortless Command ::BY RICK WALTERS

T

he end of an era is approaching at the Milwaukee Symphony Orchestra.

After eight seasons, Edo de Waart’s tenure as MSO music director ends this month. Friday evening I heard one of his last concerts in his current role, which was certainly a showcase for the orchestra sound he built here.

Hearing a lively, bracing account of the Overture to Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart’s Don Giovanni conjured memories of the unforgettable 2014 performance of the complete opera at MSO. Vivid contrasts of drama and comedy so organic to the score came forth in the overture.

Dutch pianist Ronald Brautigam played Ludwig van Beethoven’s Concerto No. 4 in G Major for Piano and Orchestra, Op. 58 with serenity of spirit. He has a master’s seemingly effortless command of the instrument, performing with pristine clarity and evenness.

There is an elevated purity to what Brautigam brings to the music, creating glistening soft sounds that easily carry out into the hall. He seemed the perfect complement to De Waart’s distaste for showy interpretation.

De Waart’s account of Edward Elgar’s lush Symphony No. 1, Op. 55 showed his grasp of the ebb and flow of this music, with its phrase structure that often surges forward then retreats. The strings were impressive in the blazing theme of the second movement. The beautiful third movement foreshadows Elgar’s most famous music— “Nimrod” from the Enigma Variations. Even though I know the symphony, I was caught off-guard with emotion when the soulful theme of the first movement came back in a grand statement in the finale.

Any MSO musician will tell you that the stage acoustics of the multi-purpose Uihlein Hall prevent them from hearing one another. A violinist in the fourth row can’t hear the players in the first row, much less the second violins across the stage. That the orchestra has achieved this level of excellence is a testament to the discipline and technique that De Waart has brought to it. It’s exciting to try to imagine where this excellent orchestra will go musically when they are in a more acoustically friendly (by all preliminary accounts) concert hall, with the anticipated move to the Grand Theater.

24 | M AY 1 8 , 2 0 1 7

TOM BAMBERGER

THEATRE

::BY A.J. MACDONALD

f the suspicion as to whether the person seated beside you at Milwaukee Metro Voices’ Only We Know Best—At the Town Hall Meeting is a performer or fellow spectator doesn’t pique your curiosity, you’ll soon be engaged by the debate of whatever hot-button political or social issue you typically find most riling.

Convened to debate the installation of a community sculpture and the legalization of medical marijuana, a much more inclusive range of political and social issues comes about at the town hall meeting. The viewpoints portrayed in this satirical musical by Milwaukee’s Jason Powell run as diverse as the characters who present them, which is accomplished through a smorgasbord of musical numbers and personal digressions that range from playful, to snarky, to poignant and raw, but are always captivating. Every topic fairly meets its fate, each getting its turn in the spotlight at the mercy of the production’s tongue-in-cheek—yet real and, in some moments, sobering—examination of topical modern-day matters.

In a climate where critical, individualized thinking and decision-making take a back seat to the practice of subscribing to already-defined identities, this play is a welcomed, even cathartic, depiction of one of our country’s afflictions. Only We Know Best not only serves to skillfully shine a light on the reality that is our divisive society, but also to provide a means for starting conversations about contentious topics in an approachable way—all while having fun doing so.

Through May 21 at Next Act Theatre, 255 S. Water St. For tickets visit milwaukeemetrovoices.org.

First Stage Explores Political Lies in Orwell’s ‘Animal Farm’

D

::BY RUSS BICKERSTAFF

irector Matt Daniels helms a strikingly well-balanced Animal Farm for First Stage’s Young Company. Based on George Orwell’s classic political allegory, young actors play animals that have taken over the farm stage in cleverly minimalist iconography. The pigs wear pigtails and the armbands of party leaders. The horses wear cowboy hats and ponytails. The dogs wear collars and dog tags. Sheep have long, curly hair and cheerleader skirts. All the animals wear a preternaturally innocent white.

With costumes being more iconic than representational, much of the task of delivering the right barnyard atmosphere falls on the actors. There’s as much attention paid to silence and stillness as there is to the noises, motion and commotion of a small farm. Too much activity would feel forced. Not enough activity and the atmosphere wouldn’t be present. The set also scrapes together a vivid world out of very little. Watering cans serve as microphones and mugs. Wooden crates and an umbrella cleverly come together to form a windmill.

The political drama of the story comes across with well-rendered performances. Jake Badovski, Mary Jensik and Sydney Salter play the ruling pigs with sympathetic depth. Rather than playing them as sinister villains, the three play the pigs as politicians who really seem to want to believe the lies that they’re telling the rest of the farm. Alex Salter puts in an inspiring performance as Clover, a horse who senses the growing hypocrisy of those in power but lacks the right momentum to halt the inevitable.

Through May 21 at Milwaukee Youth Arts Center, 325 W. Walnut St. For tickets, call 414267-2961 or visit firststage.org.

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Illustration by Scott Radke

35

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A&E::FILM

A&E::FILMCLIPS Complete film coverage online at shepherdexpress.com

Alien: Covenant R

Ridley Scott’s pacesetting Alien (1979) had Sigourney Weaver and a monster the likes of which had never been seen. His sequel to the Prometheus prequel, Alien: Covenant, may be visually stateof-the-art, but it has an unmemorable cast and—yes!—monsters, lots and lots of bursting, leaping monsters. The crewmembers of the cargo ship Covenant are over their heads when lured by a ghost transmission to a previously unknown planet where videogame-style action awaits. Michael Fassbender is suitably unanimated as the android who embraced the dark side. (David Luhrssen)

Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul PG

Adapted from one of Jeff Kinney’s many Wimpy Kid books, here the Heffleys embark on a road trip they’ll soon regret. Greg is played by Jason Drucker; Alicia Silverstone and Tom Everett Scott portray his parents. Charlie Wright steals the show as Greg’s weird-looking and remarkably strange older brother, Rodrick. A thin plot sets the family on a path toward a series of demeaning encounters with a biting, flatulent piglet, aggressive seagulls and the hostile Beardo family. The original cast has aged out of the roles, setting up disappointment for disgruntled fans. (L.M.)

Everything, Everything PG-13

Maddy, 18, suffers from SCID, a disorder making her deathly allergic to most everything.

Maddy’s physician mother (Anika Noni Rose) confines the girl to their hermetically sealed home, but Maddy (Amandla Stenberg, who played Rue in The Hunger Games) flees this safe haven after she becomes smitten with handsome next-door neighbor Olly (Nick Robinson). In this film, which was adapted from Nicola Yoon’s debut novel, Maddy’s text messages to and from Olly are depicted as conversations during actual encounters, all from Maddy’s imagination. Cheers for an unexpected twist during the final act, but this saccharine romance insults teen intelligence. (L.M.)

The Lovers R ‘Snatched’

Mother and Daughter are ‘Snatched’ in LOL Comedy ::BY DAVID LUHRSSEN

R

eleased in time for Mother’s Day, Snatched is a slightly bawdy, occasionally gross mother-daughter comedy with a message: Family ties trump temperamental differences. It brings together a likable pair of protagonists with Amy Schumer as Emily and Goldie Hawn as her mother, Linda. The daughter is flighty as a robin while mom worries about leaving the house. They couldn’t be more different. Emily spends the first half of the movie rebuffing her overly protective, can’t-let-go parent, and yet as the going gets rough, they see each other as never before.

The combination of rising star Schumer and ’70s golden girl Hawn is engineered to bring generations together at the box office.

Fortunately, the chemistry seems real between two women who look and act like a bickering mother and daughter.

They are thrown together when Emily’s boyfriend ditches her as the unhappy couple is about to embark on a non-refundable vacation in Ecuador. Since she’s a loser, even the prospect of a free trip can’t entice anyone to 26 | M AY 1 8 , 2 0 1 7

take his ticket and travel with her. Mom, borderline agoraphobic, doesn’t want to go either. But after Emily discovers a photo album from the ’70s, complete with snapshots from London and a Thin Lizzie ticket stub—she exclaims, “Look how fun you were!”—the ice melts just a bit. They go, mom tut-tutting all the way about getting too much sun and drinking too early in the day.

Things turn drastic when a worldly young adventurer (Tom Bateman) lures Emily and Linda on a trip into the countryside. He’s in league with a gang of kidnappers. Turns out mom was right to warn her daughter about dark, handsome strangers. They are seized, tossed into a cell and held for ransom. Of course, that’s not the story’s end.

Despite the ensuing mayhem, Snatched rides on a string of laugh-out-loud moments involving a perilous escape into the jungle (guided by a map on the backside of a Snatched restaurant place Amy Schumer mat), an uncaring State DepartGoldie Hawn ment (“Trust no Directed by one. Good luck” Jonathan Levine they are told via Rated R phone) and the threat of falling into a sex trafficking ring (they are assured that traffickers only want young, beautiful women). There’s even a possible first in the annals of movie comedy: a funny bit with a giant tapeworm.

Life lessons: Linda lets go of her neurosis and Emily learns to get past her delusional selfishness. The conclusion is predictable but the journey is sometimes hilarious.

How do you tell someone that it’s over after decades of marriage—especially if part of you is still in love with your partner? That’s the dilemma facing Mary (Deborah Winger) and Michael (Tracy Letts) in The Lovers. The scenes from their crumbling marriage and hide-and-seek bedroom shenanigans are handled with a comedic touch that doesn’t negate the pain or exhilaration of infidelity and emotional separation. Winger and her rival, played by Melora Walters, are especially marvelous to watch as their eyes register distrust, anger, horror and understanding. (D.L.)

[HOME MOVIES/OUT ON DIGITAL] “The Streets of San Francisco: The Complete Series”

During its peak years on network television, “The Streets of San Francisco” revolved around a rising star about to catch brilliance and an aging star preparing for his final act.

Michael Douglas was a relative newbie when the cop show debuted (1972). Oscar-winner Karl Malden’s epochal films were decades behind him.

Douglas plays Inspector Keller, a cocksure young detective with the San Francisco Police Department, and Malden is his superior, the avuncular in a no-nonsense way Lt. Stone.

Youth working with age, cool collaborating with cranky, provided the show with its underlying dynamic at a time when the ’60s generation gap remained unbridged. With its rolling hills, ocean vistas and late Victorian architecture, San Francisco was a picturesque if gritty backdrop in those days before the city’s gentrification. The show followed the template of the era’s Quinn Martin productions with four acts, a pithy epilogue and a punch-press pace.

“Mannix: The Complete Series”

When we first meet Joe Mannix, he’s working for a big detective agency with secretarial pools and surveillance cameras everywhere. He hangs his coat over his office cam.

Mannix is no organization man and mocks the efficacy of the IBM technology surrounding him. He goes by intuition and gets the job done. Little wonder he breaks away and starts his own agency with faithful secretary Peggy back at his home office.

All 194 episodes of “Mannix” (1967-1975) are collected in this 48-disc set. The show generated controversy in its day: Mannix (Mike Connors) is white; Peggy (Gail Fisher), black. The plots are often patchy but executed with panache, their pleasure lies in the implacable titular character cruising L.A. in his convertible, quick with a gun but offering a ready smile of human sympathy.

The best scenes could have been filmed by Alfred Hitchcock; the worst raised camp to an acute point.

—David Luhrssen

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VISUALART|REVIEW

STRANGE PLACES, INTRIGUING STORIES AT TORY FOLLIARD GALLERY ::BY KAT KNEEVERS

“T

he Foreseeable Past,” a solo exhibition by T. L Solien at Tory Folliard Gallery, is full of paintings with overtones of tradition, but intriguingly strange despite their friendly, vivid hues. They bring together collage and flat colors with subtle notes of disconcerting places. A companion exhibition by Swedish artist Erika Nordqvist

follows suit, but with distinct variation.

Solien’s Road to Emmaus features a full-lipped, longhaired blond figure holding a white dove and wearing a headdress decorated with symbols like Scandinavian flags. A companion vaguely smiles while fingering a dripping pile of yellow stuff from a wall leading to the arched passage to a city. The title suggests a biblical subject, but Solien does not deal in traditional narratives.

Solien describes his art as “absurdist cultural critique,” which can be applied in the way that references are suggested, but become something different, even surrealistic. Shades of Joan Miró appear in the way dense black forms and outlines appear, or Giorgio di Chirico for the manner of a passage moving with jarring swiftness from light to dark. Location is altered under Solien’s brush, as two-dimensional space opens within nuanced shades of color.

Solien’s artistic maneuvers don’t exert their dominance, but contribute to an intriguing air that is familiar but altogether unreal.

Erika Nordqvist is featured with her exhi-

bition, “Bye Bye Dirt, Bye Bye Worry.” Her drawings describe things like libraries or kitchens, populated by characters in unordinary situations. FAT TV is a sparse place where two people stand casually. A woman holds up a large lock of hair over her head, while the hand at her side holds an open scissors. Parts of her head are already shorn, as though she’s waiting for the moment to just do it to the rest. She is solidly cool, dispassionate, as are many of the figures in Nordqvist’s work. The scenes and vignettes described by her pencil

VISUALART|PREVIEWS

‘Artists At Work’: Cedarburg Artists’ Guild Celebrates Human Industry ::BY TYLER FRIEDMAN

T

he Milwaukee School of Engineering’s Grohmann Museum (1000 N. Broadway) houses more than 1,300 paintings and sculptures dating back to 1580, all of which pertain to the history of human work. This uniquely themed collection spans 20th-century American art such as Norman Rockwell’s Bookworm and 17th-century Dutch painters like Pieter Brueghel the Younger’s The Peasant Lawyer.

Hanging amid these masters are contemporary works that have been created specifically for the Grohmann’s walls, as in the case with a new exhibition, “Artists At Work: The Cedarburg Artists’ Guild.”

Cedarburg has long appealed to artists for its bucolic charm and laid-back pace of life. Some 30 years ago, a generation of these painters, poets and other creatives founded the Cedarburg Artists Guild with the mission of “encouraging creativity and promoting fine arts and crafts in Ozaukee and Washington Counties.” Fourteen of the Guild’s artists have created 42 new works pertaining to labor or industry for “Artists At Work: The Cedarburg Artists Guild,” May 19 through Aug. 20.

Shelby Keefe, A Fanfare of Cranes SHEPHERD EXPRESS

have a tension and otherworldly drama that is captivating. Her selective color opens up her compositions even more, and like Solien, describes a world recognized but usually residing in dreams.

Through May 27 at Tory Folliard Gallery, 233 N. Milwaukee St. (left) T.L. Solien, Road to Emmaus, Oil and Enamel on Canvas, 60 x 72”; (right) Erika Nordqvist, FAT TV, Mixed Media on Paper, 27 1/2 x 39 1/4”

Suzanne and Sarah Rosenblatt Poetry Reading Woodland Pattern Books 720 E. Locust St.

Esteemed Milwaukee sculptor and emeritus professor at UW-Milwaukee’s Peck School of the Arts Adolph Rosenblatt died this past February. On Sunday, May 21 at 2 p.m., Suzanne and Sarah Rosenblatt will give readings that reflect on life in these tumultuous times without their respective husband and father. Writes Suzanne, “When someone loses a limb, the nerves are still there / So it feels as if the limb is / It sounds similar to losing your other half / After 57 years of living together, I keep feeling as if Adolph’s still here.”

Culture Work Mural Block Party and Celebration

Butters Fetting Company | 1669 S. First St. In early 2016, artist Raoul Deal, urban historian Michael Carriere and students from the Community Arts program at UW-Milwaukee began work on an immense mural celebrating the 50-year history of United Migrant Opportunity Services (UMOS). On Saturday, May 20 from 2-5 p.m., the mural will at long last be unveiled in its new home on the Butters-Fetting Company building between First and Second streets. Latino Arts Strings will provide music and Transfer Pizzeria and Café will furnish food.

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A&E::BOOKS

Chuck Klosterman Weighs in on Everything ::BY EVAN RYTLEWSKI

F

ew writers epitomize the voice of modern criticism better than Chuck Klosterman, whose conversational essays on music and pop culture helped set the tone for culture writing in the internet age. This week he released his tenth and latest book, X: A Highly Specific, Defiantly Incomplete History of the Early 21st Century, which compiles and updates some of his favorite features and essays from the last decade, including pieces on Led Zeppelin, Taylor Swift, “Breaking Bad” and Pavement. Ahead of his appearance at Boswell Books on Friday, May 19 at 7 p.m., we spoke to Klosterman about the book, the arc of his career, and why younger writers have it so much worse than he did.

Were most of the pieces in the book personal passion projects, or assignments handed down to you by editors?

The features would be in the latter category. The essays are more like things that I wrote mostly for Grantland or for Esquire, where I was to a degree reacting to the news, but not the way people do now. I kind of came in at a transitional period. When I was writing an Esquire column, which would have been 2004-2008, I was writing a monthly column about pop culture, but I had to write it 50 days in advance before it ran, which is an unacceptable thing now.

But it even felt difficult then. It was difficult to come up with ideas that were contemporary and that would still be unchanged in two months.

If you look at the internet, so much of it is written in response to whatever’s trending at the moment. That content expires so fast that you could never archive it in a book like this.

You couldn’t, because the thing about the internet is, the entire internet is essentially rewritten every day. Everybody posts everything about what’s going on in the world, and the next day, it’s just kind of written over the top. In some ways, there’s more risk in writing for the internet, because if you make a mistake, there’s 15,000 people who will jump at you in real time, but ideologically there’s less risk, because you can just write a correction the next day. You can almost disregard what you did the day before. But it’s true: That’s the reason there haven’t been a huge amount of internet writers who have translated into literary figures. Everybody thought that was going to happen. If you had said in 2003, “Where are the next 25 top writers going to come from?,” everybody would have said the internet, but that’s not how it worked out. It’s almost like there’s been a bifurcation where those worlds are equal but not connected.

It seems like you have a job most writers would love.

If you talk to writers, they’ll all say they’d love to write something that’s a little more divorced from the news cycle and that has a little more staying power.

Oh, I’m absolutely lucky, and there’s no other word for it. My career has everything to do with the collision of so many things that it can’t be replicated. There was the timing of when I was alive, and the position I had when this transition occurred. And for the most part, most people are fighting to be the first person to write something, and I do have the luxury that I can position myself to be the last person to write about something.

How would your career be different if you’d come up even just 10 years later, when the internet was more established? What if you’d come up writing for the internet instead of newspapers?

I suspect that I would have been completely obsessed with that world, and I probably would have been the kind of writer who currently hates me [laughs]. Like, I fear that. I do kind of worry about that. I can’t say, “I would have never been that way,” because I don’t know if I wouldn’t have been. My first book came out in 2001, and I was at Spin in 2002, and that really was when the old model started to collapse and the new model started to emerge. Here’s one thing I wonder about, if I had started 10 years later: I do think I could have fallen into what’s kind of a media trap now. When you’re in your 20s, your job is your life. All your friends are the people you work with, and all you want to do is write and talk about what you’re working on. And the idea of working 24 hours a day, 7 days a week doesn’t seem that bad. It seems smart. But then they move into that stage of life when they’re 30 or 40, and they want their lives to be different, but now they can’t get out of it. And you used to be able to get out of it.

When I worked at newspapers, the day ended at six, unless you worked the night desk. That’s just how it was: There was no expectation that your life would be your work, but now that’s the only reality left. So I’m glad I missed that [laughs].

I think writers also feel a void now, because they’re churning out so much content online, but so little of it has any real value. It’s depressing in a way.

How useless or useful so much media content ever was is arguable. It wasn’t like in 1993 if you opened a newspaper every story was essential. That’s not how it was. But I think the one thing that has made working in the media a more depressing job is the awareness of this.

In the ’80s and ’90s the biggest question for a newspaper or magazine was, “Who’s reading this?”

We had no idea: We know what our circulation is, but that’s all we know.

When the newspaper or magazine comes out, we don’t know what they’re

reading. Are they reading the front page? Are they only reading the gossip section? We have no idea, and since we have no idea, all we can do is put what we think is the most important stuff. But the fact that now we know has hurt the industry. The fact that we know what stories are most interesting to people has actually degraded the product.

Will there be a correction to that? Is the industry in a lull now because we’re still figuring out what to do with that information, or is this just the way things are now?

Well, the financial component really compounds things, because reporting is expensive, and just analyzing other people’s content is cheap. And if the amount of attention an analysis gets is the same as a reported piece, what’s your incentive for investing that money? It’s sort of like the rise of reality television. People thought it was going to end, but of course it never really ended. And that’s because the real key to reality television wasn’t that people thought it was great. It’s that it had unpaid actors, and was the cheapest show to make. So if a reality television show did roughly the same as an actual show, it was to the benefit of the networks. And this is kind of what’s happened to the media now: They’ve realized that the cheapest stories, which aren’t even really stories, are ultimately going to have the same impact as things that are meaningful or complicated.

For much more of this interview, including Klosterman’s thoughts on rockism, thinkpiece culture and The Beatles, visit shepherdexpress.com.

KRIS DRAKE

BOOK |PREVIEW

Chuck Klosterman

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SHEPHERD EXPRESS

A&E::BOOKS BOOK |REVIEW

First Thought: Conversations with Allen Ginsberg (UNIVERSITY OF MINNESOTA PRESS), EDITED BY MICHAEL SCHUMACHER For defining the anguish of society’s outsiders with his 1955 poem “Howl,” Allen Ginsberg became a characteristic voice of the Beat Generation. He continued as an influential figure in the ’60s counterculture and survived to become a cultural elder statesman. First Thought collects 18 interviews with Ginsberg from 1960 through 1997 and contains previously unpublished material. He emerges as a thoughtful yet sensual man grappling with issues of his day, sometimes with prescience. He was talking about global warming and the digitalization of information in 1978! Editor Michael Schumacher, a Kenosha writer who authored a biography of Ginsberg, included one of his discussions with the poet—a 1986 interview on recurring dreams, growing old and intimations of death. (David Luhrssen)

Curse on This Country: The Rebellious Army of Imperial Japan

::OFFTHECUFF

To Sleep, To Dream

Off The Cuff with artist Claire Stigliani ::BY JUDITH ANN MORIARTY

C

laire Stigliani’s life is charmed. Early on, she lived near Vienna, where her father worked in a palace once upon a time occupied by Maria Antoinette’s cousin. She and her siblings visited the splendor often, so perhaps it was the beginning of dreamscapes for young Claire. Years later, her imagining led to a 2010 master of fine arts degree in painting and drawing from UW-Madison. A career as an art educator followed at the University of Missouri, Carnegie Mellon and the University of Tennessee. Though firmly on the tenure track, being a professor wasn’t for her. With a recent grant from the Joan Mitchell Foundation and savings from her teaching days, she set out to make her fantasies come true in New York City. The Tower of Academia was too confining.

Your student art days and those spent teaching after you graduated—did you notice any difference between the two experiences? Have art students changed?

My Drawing I students often posted their works online via Instagram. They wanted to be seen. I had five siblings and we had no television and were homeschooled. We imagined that we lived in New York City in a tall tower that we never left as it had everything including a swimming pool with a lifeguard. The Narnia stories also expanded my universe. Now I’m in New York City and find that working in my studio is when I am happiest. It’s better than going out at night. Better than a vacation. I’m a very private person.

The work you will be exhibiting at Tory Folliard Gallery, “Dream Within a Dream,” focuses on sleeping, not just any sleeping, but a sleep dusted with magic.

I am greatly influenced by Tennyson’s The Lady of Shalott. She dwells in a tower where she weaves and sings. Along comes Lancelot. She flees the tower to pursue “love,” but dies in her quest.

The Victorians saw sleep as female passivity and others critiqued sleeping as a kind of death, and still others equated death to orgasm. Instagram could be a dangerous lover. Right? I’m thinking “art as commodity” is the nightmare of reality.

When I finish a work, I have to distance myself from it. I never want to be the center of attention, and though I hope my work sells (running a gallery is expensive!), it’s because I want to do right by the people I’m working with. But my commitment is to my work, to the next painting I’m making, to this imaginary space that I have created for myself. So maybe it is a kind of sleeping that I’m after…a looking inward rather than outward at the world.

“Dream Within a Dream” will be on display at the Tory Folliard Gallery June 2-July 1. To learn more, visit toryfolliard.com.

(CORNELL UNIVERSITY PRESS), BY DANNY ORBACH

The Imperial Japanese Army is legendary for its obedience, but discipline seems to have been more pronounced in the lower ranks than the officer corps. In Curse on This Country, Danny Orbach from the Hebrew University of Jerusalem describes a military that launched wars on its own initiative, assassinated public officials and fomented coups against its own government. He locates the roots of the problem in the rōnin, those masterless samurai of early 19thcentury Japan who swore allegiance only to an unseen emperor, whose will could be interpreted to one’s taste because few ever heard him speak. The officers’ adventurism and unwarranted assumption of moral superiority put Japan on the perilous track that led to the rape of Nanking, Pearl Harbor and Hiroshima. (David Luhrssen)

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

New Paintings by Claire Stigliani

CORRECTION: Last week’s Off the Cuff, “Passing the Baton to Milwaukee Youth,” incorrectly listed the middle school Sharlen Moore attended. She attended Morse Middle School.

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HEARMEOUT:: ASK RUTHIE | UPCOMING EVENTS | PAUL MASTERSON

::UPCOMINGEVENTS May 19: Art & Music at the Historic Pritzlaff (333 N. Plankinton): Like art? Like live music? Then shut the hell up and get your keester to his exciting change-of-pace art show. Bid on more than 150 pieces, groove to music only VooddooHoney Records can offer and enjoy this 6-10 p.m. event. See wmse.org for tickets, or simply pay $30 at the door.

May 19: Adult Sleepover at the Milwaukee Public Museum (800 W. Wells St.): See the museum like never before with this all-night, adults-only party! Enjoy guided tours, explore the museum on your own (bring a flashlight!), check out the shows in the Dome Theater, and eat and drink your way through the entire night! The next morning, you’ll enjoy a continental breakfast, mimosas and more. Tickets start at $125 with discounts for groups. Check out mpm.edu for additional information and tickets.

Shop Til You Plop LOVE LIFE ENTERTAINMENT ADVICE

Dear Ruthie says, “Hear Me Out! ”

AND FOR EVEN MORE FUN VISIT RUTHIE AND CYNTHIA AT RUTHIE’S BITCHIN KITCHEN.COM

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M

ilwaukee may be brimming with bars and nightclubs, theaters and concert venues, restaurants and lunch counters, but we’ve got plenty of shopping, too! Whether rummage sales, craft fairs, farmers markets or artist showcases, this damn city is the shop-til-you-plop capital of the state. Take a peek at the shopping options I’ve listed in this week’s happenings, then grab your charge card and purchase local, honey.

If you see me shopping, be sure to say, “hi” (and help me with my bags), but until then let’s read a letter from a fan and see if we can’t help her out with some social media woes.

Dear Ruthie,

I’ve always been a tomboy, so it’s not that surprising that a lot of my friends are guys and a lot of my social media friends are guys, too. My new boyfriend doesn’t like this. He says I spend too much time messaging other guys and he questions why I don’t have more female friends on Facebook and Twitter. I think he’s acting crazy. Tell me I’m right.

Thanks, Tell-All Toni Dear Toni,

Sorry, sugar, but you can’t blame your sweetie. Maybe he’s jealous, but he’s still got a point. After all, how would you feel if he was overly friendly with a bunch of gals on social media? You don’t have to tell your cyber studs to take a hike, but cool it with the messaging.

You’ve got a hottie trying to connect with you in person, so disconnect from the Facebook fellas and Twitter types and spend that time with your honey.

May 20: Vintage Rummage and Flea Market at Art*Bar (722 E. Burleigh St.): The fun-loving team at Art*Bar are at it again! Check out the furniture, knick-knacks, costume jewelry, oddities and more from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Saturday and Sunday. It’s a kooky sale not to be missed at one of Milwaukee’s favorite hot spots!

May 20: Stroll & Shop at Various Locations Downtown West Allis (7231 W. Greenfield Ave.): There’s more to West Allis than corner bars, State Fair and Crocs. Shop local, eat local and drink local during an old-fashioned sidewalk sale throughout the Downtown strip of Stallis. The sales run 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. See you there!

May 20: IML Send-Off Party at Harbor Room (117 E. Greenfield Ave.): Mr. Harbor Room, Chad, is gearing up (literally and figuratively) for his spot at the International Mr. Leather competition. Give him a final sendoff, offer up a donation to help cover expenses and encourage him bring that damn title to Milwaukee! The naughty, Levi-Leather party starts at 9 p.m., with shirtless men drinking for less all-night long.

May 21: Milwaukee Makers Market at Colectivo Coffee (2301 S. Kinnickinnic Ave.): This ain’t your momma’s craft show. Check out dozens of local artists and vendors offering their wares. From homemade candles to leather works and jewelry, there are art pieces for everyone and every wallet. Stop by the 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. event or see milwaukeemakersmarket.com for more.

May 21: MKE Drag Storytime at The Point (906 S. Barclay St.): Bring the kids down to this celebration of diversity, education and creativity. Drag queens, DJs and others read stories and sing inspiring songs during the 11 a.m. to noon family friendly gathering. A donation gets your one free raffle ticket. Email ThriveServiceLearning@gmail.com for more information.

May 23: Brewers Night Out at Kruz (354 E. National Ave.): Watch the Brew Crew take on the Blue Jays when the Milwaukee Gay Sport Network hosts this $35 event. You ticket includes a pregame party at Kruz (4:30 p.m.), bus ride to and from the game (bus leaves at 6 p.m.) and the game itself (6:40 p.m.). The good times continue when the bus returns to Kruz afterward, so don’t miss out. Get your ticket at eventbrite.com. Search for Brewers Night Out 2017.

Want to share an event with Ruthie? Need her advice on a situation? Email DearRuthie@Shepex.com.

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

::MYLGBTPOV

The Cost of Generosity?

COMPROMISING LGBT PRINCIPLES FOR PRINCIPAL ::BY PAUL MASTERSON

A

recent local news article may have piqued your interest. It chronicled the funding habits of a major conservative philanthropic institution, the Bradley Foundation. WUWM’s Lake Effect did a segment on it as well. Over the decades, the Bradley Foundation has funded many of Milwaukee’s arts organizations like the Milwaukee Symphony Orchestra, the Milwaukee Public Museum and the Milwaukee Art Museum, among others. The article discussed its funding strategies and criteria. It mentioned the foundation’s suspicions regarding MPM’s director. It seems he may believe in climate change. That’s anathema in conservative circles and could prove costly. Meanwhile, the MSO got $15 million.

Generosity at this level comes with a certain obligation, a quid pro quo that expects the recipient to endorse a particular agenda.

Consider Education Secretary Betsy DeVos’ donations to politicians who subsequently voted for her appointment or insurance companies’ contributions to Republican congressmen who voted to repeal the Affordable Care Act. I once applied to our local LGBT philanthropic organization for a grant for the Gay Arts Center. I was told, “Our donors are business people, not artists.” Naïve as I was, I didn’t quite get the message. Later it dawned on me that businesses see philanthropy as just another marketing tool. There are certainly true altruists among them, but many give to

causes as a tax deduction, a bribe and, like other paid advertising, for exposure. The collateral positive impact on the arts or whatever the charity might be is purely coincidental.

The article also mentioned our old friend Pope Benedict, or rather his portrait, entitled “Eggs Benedict,” as rendered by Milwaukee artist Nikki Johnson. Made of condoms woven in the manner of a good Sarouk, the work addresses the AIDS crisis in Africa and the papal opposition to the effective and logical latex solution. AIDS activist and philanthropist Joe Pabst had donated it to the museum.

Behind the scenes, the Bradley Foundation demanded the work not be put on public view.

MAM, deferring to its mission, displayed it anyway.

During a panel discussion about “Eggs,” those who found it offensive rationalized by relying on Catholic Church doctrine banning birth control, including condom use, under any circumstances. Therefore, even though they help contain the spread of HIV/AIDS, condoms are equally forbidden. Besides, a speaker opined, Africa’s climate (I guess there’s only one) compromised condom shelf life, and the locals didn’t want to use them anyway. Still, she reminded the audience the Church provides care for AIDS victims. In other words, no funding for prevention but they’re happy to pay the cost of treatment.

Fine. After a brief showing, the work went into storage. But, the act of integrity would cost the museum a $90,000 Bradley Foundation grant.

It’s a two-way street, of course. Liberal donors support causes in their own moral image and likeness. They embrace the message of social justice, equality, diversity and the environment. With this rationale, ABC recently cancelled a sitcom, “The Last Man Standing,” starring conservative comic Tim Allen.

For LGBT supplicants, the message should be quite clear: Who dances for dollars, must parrot the piper’s political agenda. Hopefully, it’s a liberal one.

414-291-7800 | skylightmusictheatre.org 158 N. Broadway in the Historic Third Ward

Getting stuck in traffic is better with 88.9FM

Every week, our DJs seek out emerging artists and revisit favorites from the archives. And song-by-song, we independently create our own playlists.

We believe music brings people together and that positive stories can change the way you see our city.

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

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::MUSIC MUSIC

For more MUSIC, log onto shepherdexpress.com

FEATURE | ALBUM REVIEWS | CONCERT REVIEWS | LOCAL MUSIC

The Coffee House Celebrates 50 Years of Milwaukee Folk ::BY EVAN THOMAS CASEY

f you’re an acoustic musician in Wisconsin, odds are you’ve heard of The Coffee House. This storied and historic venue at 1905 W. Wisconsin Ave. has been making a positive impact for local and traveling musicians alike ever since it opened in 1967. One of the country’s longest-running acoustic venues, it’ll celebrate its 50th anniversary this Saturday, May 20.

The event, taking place from 2 p.m. to 11 p.m., will feature performances from renowned and respected folk legends including Lou and Peter Berryman, Bill Camplin, and Fox and Branch. Milwaukee musicians David HB Drake, Jym Mooney, Sandy Weisto, Mud River Lee, Tom and Barb Webber will also be playing this special daylong event alongside other Milwaukee musicians.

Lou and Peter Berryman are headlining the fest. These folk legends have appeared on “A Prairie Home Companion,” and even have a song on a Grammy-winning record. Throughout the day there will be sessions and workshops on songwriting, humor, social justice, poetry and traditional music. There will even be a potluck dinner at 6 p.m.

The Coffee House started to host performances in the ’60s, as an outreach of the Redeemer Lutheran Church. The original idea for the building was to provide a safe environment for people to discuss the issues of the day. The “Downtown Coffee House,” as it was originally called stated its purpose as being: “To serve the community by being a place where persons may meet in unhurried conversation and where the questions, the issues, the interests, and the hopes that lie within and around us may unfold in an atmosphere of openness and candor.”

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In its early days The Coffee House would play host to film nights, poetry readings, theater performances and even group sing-alongs. As time moved on, however, the space became more of a venue in which local talent could perform.

The first “folk gathering,” at The Coffee House was in June of 1974. Eight hundred people filled the venue for the two-day event, while partaking in various activities such as arts and crafts exhibits. The first “Mid-Winter Folk Festival,” began in 1987, featuring national and local talent, as well as a talent show that still exists to this day.

David HB Drake, a Milwaukee acoustic artist performing at the event, spoke well of the venue. Drake has existed in the folk scene for 50 years now, having written more than 200 songs, and appearing at various folk and music events throughout Wisconsin every year. “This is where every acoustic musician in Milwaukee makes their start,” he said.

Drake first played the stage in 1968, and has been back every year since. “You have this wonderful support system behind you when you play here,” he said.

“This is where I, and many other musicians, get their training wheels for performing.”

Drake shared how he played the 35th anniversary show in 2002, while playing the exact same set list that he performed when he first played The Coffee House in 1968. Other musicians joined the stage with Drake, while they performed covers from the 1960s as well. “It was a tribute to the 1960s,” said Drake.

Acoustic music is known for being slower paced, personal and honest. However, 50th Anniversary these three qualities do not exactly deCelebration scribe the fast-paced culture and society we live in today. That’s why The Coffee Saturday, May 20, 2 p.m.

House is attempting to keep acoustic music The Coffee House alive and well.

“I think there’s a yearning today for music and stories that are real,” said Drake. “We have so much music today that is not real, but I still believe storytelling is making a resurgence. This music is multi-generational, and you will always learn something from it. People will listen if you share with them face to face.”

The Coffee House’s 50th anniversary celebration begins Saturday, May 20 at 2 p.m.

Find out more info about the event at the-coffee-house.com.

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

MUSIC::LOCAL

Mike Benign Focuses on Melody for His Latest Album, ‘Kid’ ::BY DAVID LUHRSSEN

A

quarter-century ago, Mike Benign was counted among Milwaukee’s rising musical stars. These days, however, he’s content to write well, release an album every couple of years and perform only when the mood is right.

Kid, the latest album from his band, The Mike Benign Compulsion, rises along the pathway he set out on years ago. Kid’s songs would be welcome on a mix tape amid hits by Crowded House and Squeeze. And yet, Benign’s approach to that sophisticated style of post-punk pop rock has evolved since the breakup of his popular ’90s band, the horn-powered Blue in the Face.

“I’m much more conscious of melody,” he says. “In Blue in the Face, the horns did a lot of heavy lifting. The hooks were typically located in the instrumentation and not in the melody.”

Despite the tantalizing glimpse of a record contract and a Minneapolis agency that booked them at good shows across the Midwest, Blue in the Face’s momentum began to run down. “The band was together four and a half years, which when you’re at that age feels like a lifetime,” Benign says. He quit writing and playing after the band broke up in 1995 but was reenergized

by a reunion performance before a packed house at Shank Hall in 2006. “I started writing songs again,” Benign recalls. “I was reminded of how much I loved music. It was no longer going to be about doing it for a living, but because I love doing it.”

Afterward, Benign began recording his new songs at the home of his friend, guitarist Joe Vent. Before long, drummer Mike Koch and bassist Brian Wooldridge were sitting in and The Mike Benign Compulsion was born. They played their first show in 2010 and released their first album, Rollicking Musical, that same year.

During the recording of Kid, Wooldridge left and was replaced by longtime Benign collaborator Paul Biemann.

Not unlike the writers he admires, especially Squeeze’s Chris Difford and Glenn Tilbrook and Crowded House’s Neil Finn, Benign’s songs are built from surprises—bridges in unconventional places, refrains that don’t follow expectations, along with irresistible choruses, lyrics in the form of intriguing character sketches The Mike and distant echoes of Benign ’60s rock at its most concise.

Compulsion “I don’t apologize Friday, May 19, for the fact that we’re 8 p.m. not breaking new Red Dot ground,” he says.

“I don’t know that we’re retro sounding, but I know we don’t sound like 2017—and that’s OK! I don’t think something has to break ground to be good. I love the format of 2-and-a-half to 3-minute songs— get in, be hooky and get out quick!”

The Mike Benign Compulsion’s album release party will be held Friday, May 19 at Red Dot, 6715 W. North Ave. The Ball Turret Gunners will open at 8 p.m.

MAY 19, 2017 ! 6 PM - 10 PM HISTORIC PRITZLAFF | 333 N. PLANKINTON

Presented by Enlightened, Great Northern and VoodooHoney Records

LIVE AR T Figure Drawing Class by Charles Dwyer, Live painting by Pamela Anderson, Terry Coffman, Skully Skyrocket, Jeff Redmon, Natalja Viktorovna Yatsuka, Eric Von Munz, Dave Watkins and Nina Bednarski. Bid on over 200 boards of art including works by The Dry Points, Matt Zumbo, Reginald Baylor, and Timothy Meyerring.

LIVE M U S I C Curated by VoodooHoney Records.

– AU C TI O N TO B E N E F IT WM S E – TICKETS: $25 advanced (at WMSE.ORG) $30 day of event INCLUDES $10 VOUCHER TOWARD YOUR FIRST PIECE OF ART Food provided by

Bicycle parking provided by

The Mike Benign Compulsion PHOTO BY MARK HINES Nightmare’s

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

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MUSIC::LISTINGS THURSDAY, MAY 18

Amelia’s, Jackson Dordel Jazz Quintet (4pm) Angelo’s Piano Lounge, Acoustic Guitar Night Anodyne Coffee Walker’s Point Roastery & Cafe, KochMarshall Trio Cactus Club, NeoCaveman w/GOSH & Scarecrow Dave Caroline’s Jazz Club, The Misha Siegfried Band Cascio Interstate Music, Daniel Glass Drum Clinic (Big Band Drummer/Educator) Club Garibaldi, Cream City Comedy Festival Colectivo Coffee On Prospect, Miles Mosley & The West Coast Get Down w/5 pieces of Foreign Goods County Clare Irish Inn & Pub, Acoustic Irish Folk w/Barry Dodd Frank’s Power Plant, Cabin Essence w/Band of Dust, and Bernie & The Wolf

Harry’s Bar & Grill, Kyle Feerick (6pm) Jazz Estate, Manty Ellis Quartet Kelly’s Bleachers (Big Bend), Thursday Night Acoustic Open Jam w/host Michael Sean Kochanski’s Concertina Beer Hall, The Night Howls/The Sketchballs Mason Street Grill, Mark Thierfelder Jazz Trio (5:30pm) Miller Time Pub, Joe Kadlec O’Donoghues Irish Pub (Elm Grove), The All-Star SUPERband (6pm) Packing House, Barbara Stephan & Peter Mac (6pm) Potawatomi Hotel & Casino, In Bar 360: Myles Wangerin (8pm), In the Fire Pit: Runaway (8:30pm) Route 20 Outhouse (Sturtevant), Armored Saint w/Wrath Shank Hall, Dirty Bourbon River Show Stoneridge Inn (Hales Corners), Julie Nelson (6pm) The Bay Restaurant, Trevor Mihalski Transfer Pizzeria Cafe, Anthony Deutsch Trio Turner Hall Ballroom, Ex Fabula ALL STARS Urban Bay View, Professor Pinkerton Xyloma

FRIDAY, MAY 19

414-882-7708 770 North Jefferson Street chicundergroundlounge.com

JAZZ FRIDAY FISH AND CHIPS 7-10 PM EVERY FRIDAY JAZZ AND BLUES SUNDAY BRUNCH EVERY SUNDAY

Angelo’s Piano Lounge, Piano Night Anodyne Coffee Walker’s Point Roastery & Cafe, Nineteen Thirteen Art Bar, Fivy & Faithless Followers Cactus Club, Gloss Weekend 2: The Fatty Acids, Rio Turbo, Sex Scenes, Marielle Allschwang & Dashcam Cafe Carpe (Fort Atkinson), Piper Road Caroline’s Jazz Club, Adekola Adedapo & The Paul Spencer Band w/Mike Miller Chic Underground Lounge, The Jonny T-Bird Trio Circle-A Cafe, Alive at Eight: GoGo Slow w/The 6 Wives Of Richard (8pm); DJ: Daniel James (10pm) Club Garibaldi, Billy Bon Scott Colectivo Coffee On Prospect, The Family Crest w/Trevor Sensor ComedySportz, Mardi Gras in May: StubbyChbbz Brass Band, Ted Oliver, Mark Thierfelder & guests Company Brewing, Sara and Kenny w/Siren County Clare Irish Inn & Pub, Traditional Irish Ceilidh Session DeMarini’s, Tom Sorce Five O’Clock Steakhouse, Pierre “Honeyboy” Lee Gibraltar Mke, [ ] w/Isaiah Joshua Great Harvest Delafield, The Ricochettes (6pm) Historic Pritzlaff Building, WMSE Presents: Art & Music Iron Mike’s (Franklin), Jam Session w/Steve Nitros & Friends Jokerz Comedy Club, Zach Martina Kochanski’s Concertina Beer Hall, The Bryan O’Donnell Polka Band Lakefront Brewery Beer Hall, Brewhaus Polka Kings (5:30pm) Linneman’s Riverwest Inn, Hood Smoke w/The Bang Bang Los Mariachis Mexican Restaurant, Floor It!

ALL SHOWS 21+

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EVERY THURSDAY WINGFEAST 50¢ WINGS 5-11 PM HAPPY HOUR EVERY WEDNESDAY THROUGH FRIDAY 5-7 PM

WED. WINGS THURS, MAY 18TH

7:30PM

CREAM CITY COMEDY FESTIVAL 9PM

FRI, MAY 19TH

BILLY BON SCOTT & DJ PAUL HILDENBRAND SAT, MAY 20TH

9PM

REVEREND RAVEN & THE CHAIN SMOKIN’ ALTAR BOYS 7:30PM

SUN, MAY 21ST

CREAM CITY COMEDY FESTIVAL

Lyon’s Irish Pub (Watertown), Derek Byrne Solo Mamie’s, Maple Road Blues Band Mason Street Grill, Phil Seed Trio (6pm) Milwaukee Ale House, Paul Rebek (6pm), 33 RPM (9:30pm) Miramar Theatre, SueMo: A Dance Experience Presents: (Lit) uation Orson’s Saloon (Cudahy), Open Mic w/The Kinnikinnicks Pabst Theater, David Gray Solo Acoustic Potawatomi Hotel & Casino, Rich Trueman & the 22nd Street Horn Band Potbelly Sandwich Shop (East Side), Texas Dave (noon) Rave / Eagles Club, Jimmy Eat World w/Beach Slang (all-ages, 8pm), Wale w/TDot Illdude, Phil Ade & YoDot (all-ages, 8pm) Red Dot Wauwatosa, The Mike Benign Compulsion w/The Ball Turret Gunners Route 20 Outhouse (Sturtevant), Stetsin & Lace Saloon on Calhoun, Leroy Airmaster Shank Hall, Oddisee & Good Compny’s Beneath the Surface Tour w/Olivier St. Louis Site 1A, Paul Oakenfold Smith Bros. Coffee House (Port Washington), Maya No Maya Steaming Cup (Waukesha), Fair Webber The Bay Restaurant, VIVO w/Warren Wiegratz The Metal Grill (Cudahy), School of Rock (2pm), Stories for Strangers w/Husher & The Breakaways (8pm) Trinity Three Irish Pubs, Jesse Voelker Band w/DJ Marcus Turner Hall Ballroom, Bonobo w/Jeremy Sole Up & Under Pub, Comedy Night Von Trier, The Blues Disciples (6:30pm)

SATURDAY, MAY 20

American Legion Post #449 (Brookfield), The Ricochettes Angelo’s Piano Lounge, Piano Night Art Bar, Leah Shoshanah Bootz Saloon, Six String Crossing Bremen Cafe, The Sketchballs w/Urban Descent & Super Dave Brew Town Pub & Grill (South Milwaukee), Aces High Presents: Brew Town Throwdown Cactus Club, Hear Here Presents: Cactus Club Comedy & Music w/The 4th Annual Zucchini Party Cafe Carpe (Fort Atkinson), Open Stage Caroline’s Jazz Club, The Paul Spencer Band w/James Sodke, Larry Tresp, Warren Wiegratz, Neil Davis & Dave “Smitty” Smith Circle-A Cafe, Alive at Eight: Rockabilly Rebels w/The Riverwest Aces (8pm); DJ: WarLock (10pm) Colectivo Coffee On Prospect, Birds of Chicago Delafield Brewhaus, Chris Kohn Explorium Brewpub, Hero Jr. Fire On Water, Cactii w/Brewtown Brewgrass Five O’Clock Steakhouse, Sam Guyton Frank’s Power Plant, Bumsy & The Moochers w/Something To Do & The Bang Bang Harry’s on Brady, 5 Card Studs Hilton Milwaukee City Center, Vocals & Keys Jack Rabbit Slims, The Cheap Shots Jazz Estate, Kristen Lee Sergeant Quartet w/Ted Nash (8pm), Late Night Session: Quorum w/Isaiah Joshua (11:30pm) Jokerz Comedy Club, Zach Martina Kelly’s Bleachers (Big Bend), Katie Mack & the Moan Kelly’s Bleachers II (Wind Lake), Bobby Friss Kochanski’s Concertina Beer Hall, Council of Crooks Linneman’s Riverwest Inn, R. Mutt vinyl release w/Stereoactive Milwaukee Ale House, Left On Sunset Miramar Theatre, Zebbler Encanti Experience w/Sixis, Elucidate & Casual Conversation (ages 17-plus, 9pm) Pabst Theater, Los Tres Tristes Tigres Paramount Record Shop (Watertown), Bill Camplin (2pm) Potawatomi Hotel & Casino, In Bar 360: Jackie Brown Acoustic Quarters Rock and Roll Palace, MELT: Seducer, Horse Force, Jack Carpenter, The Demix & Nicholas Elert Rave / Eagles Club, Bad Bunny w/J La Voz, DJ Ecko & DJ Danny Boy (all-ages, 6pm) Route 20 Outhouse (Sturtevant), Addiction Shank Hall, Think Floyd USA Silver Creek Brewpub (Cedarburg), Matt MF Tyner & Rolf Wessel Duo The Bay Restaurant, Peter Donalds The Coffee House, The Coffee House 50th Anniversary Celebration Up & Under Pub, Alcohol is Rehab

Urban Harvest Brewing Company, No Dice: Improv D&D Wisconsin Harley-Davidson (Oconomowoc), Bobby Friss (1pm) Yardarm Bar and Grill (Racine), The Blues Disciples

SUNDAY, MAY 21

Angelo’s Piano Lounge, Live Karaoke w/Julie Brandenburg Cafe Corazon (Bay View), RUMBRAVA w/MRS. FUN & Luis Diaz (4pm) Circle-A Cafe, Alive at Eight: Charlie Wiggins w/The Narrows (8pm); DJ: John Riepenhoff & Sara Caron (10pm) Club Garibaldi, Cream City Comedy Festival Company Brewing, And/Ampersand w/Isaiah Joshua Kochanski’s Concertina Beer Hall, Sunday Matinee: The WhiskeyBelles (2pm) Miramar Theatre, Afton Shows presents: Ace Parker, 3 Days Before, DJay THEILLEST, IKE Music, MRCL, & guests (all-ages, 7pm) Riverwest Public House, Twin Peaks Party Rounding Third Bar and Grill, The Dangerously Strong Comedy Open Mic Scotty’s Bar & Pizza, Bill Spaulding & Friends (4pm) Shank Hall, Lee DeWyze w/Kathryn Dean Sussex Village Park, Acoustic Blu Duo (1pm)

MONDAY, MAY 22

Cactus Club, Midnight Reruns w/The Tough Shits, Bad Wig & DJ Joey Turbo Linneman’s Riverwest Inn, Poet’s Monday w/host Timothy Kloss & featured reader Timothy Kloss (7:30-10:30pm) Mason Street Grill, Joel Burt (5:30pm) Paulie’s Pub and Eatery, Open Jam w/Christopher John Rave / Eagles Club, Lil Uzi Vert w/Bibi Bourelly & Kodie Shane (all-ages, 8pm) The Astor Cafe & Pub, The Chris Hanson Band w/Robin Pluer (6:30pm) The Metal Grill (Cudahy), Affiance w/Convictions, Everyone Dies in Utah, These Fading Visions, Above:Below & Let the Wolves Speak (all-ages, 5pm) Turner Hall Ballroom, Justin Townes Earle w/The Sadies & Sammy Brue Up & Under Pub, Marshall McGhee and the Wanderers Open Mic

TUESDAY, MAY 23

Cactus Club, Windhand w/Satan’s Satyrs Colectivo Coffee On Prospect, Perfume Genius w/serpentwithfeet Frank’s Power Plant, Duck and Cover Comedy Open Mic Jazz Estate, Funk Night w/Angie Swan and Freinds Mamie’s, Open Blues Jam w/Marvelous Mack Mason Street Grill, Jamie Breiwick Group (5:30pm) McAuliffe’s Pub (Racine), Jim Yorgan Sextet Miramar Theatre, Tuesday Open Mic w/host Sandy Weisto (sign-up 7:30pm) The Jazz Gallery Center for the Arts, Jazz Jam Session The Metal Grill (Cudahy), Hed (P.e.) w/Motograter, Imperial Fall & American Zero Transfer Pizzeria Cafe, Transfer House Band w/Dennis Fermenich

WEDNESDAY, MAY 24

Cafe Carpe (Fort Atkinson), Irish Session Caroline’s Jazz Club, Harvey Westmoreland w/Knee Deep Blues Jam Conway’s Smokin’ Bar & Grill, Open Jam w/Big Wisconsin Johnson District 14 Brewery & Pub, Wednesday Open Mic Hot Water Wherehouse, Larry Lynne Trio Iron Mike’s (Franklin), Danny Wendt Noodle Jam (6pm) Jazz Estate, Record Session: “Saxophone Colossus/Newk’s Time” Kochanski’s Concertina Beer Hall, Polka Open Jam Linneman’s Riverwest Inn, Acoustic Open Stage w/feature Moon Eyed Man (sign-up 8:30pm, start 9pm) Mason Street Grill, Jamie Breiwick Group (5:30pm) Miramar Theatre, Stage Right Pub: Green Sails Nomad World Pub, The Residency: The Cactus Brothers Paulie’s Field Trip, Humpday Drunkday w/Dave & Blair Potbelly Sandwich Shop (East Side), Texas Dave (noon) Shank Hall, Folk Family Revival w/Watching for Foxes

414-483-6335 | 2501 S. Superior St. | ClubGaribaldi.com 34 | M AY 1 8 , 2 0 1 7

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from Summit Credit Union Disclaimer: Offer ends 6/21/17. Restrictions apply. Not available in all areas. New residential customers only. Limited to Performance Internet service. Equipment, installation, taxes and fees, including regulatory recovery fees, Broadcast TV Fee (up to $6.50/mo.), Regional Sports Fee (up to $4.50/mo.) and other applicable charges extra, and subject to change during and after the promo. After promo, or if any service is cancelled or downgraded, regular rates apply. Comcast's service charge for Performance Internet Service ranges based on area, from $59.95/mo. to $61.95/mo. (subject to change). TV and Internet Service limited to a single outlet. May not be combined with other offers. TV: Limited Basic Service subscription required to receive other levels of service. Internet: Wi-Fi claim based on the March 2016 study by Allion Test Labs. Actual speeds vary and are not guaranteed. XFINITY hotpots are included with Performance Internet and above only. Available in select areas. Requires compatible Wi-Fi hotspots enabled laptop or mobile device. 30-Day Money-Back Guarantee applies to one month's recurring service charge and standard installation up to $500. Call for restrictions and complete details. ©2017 Comcast. All rights reserved. All trademarks are the property of their respective owners.

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M A Y 1 8 , 2 0 1 7 | 35

THEME CROSSWORD

ET(TE) CETERA

By James Barrick

PSYCHO SUDOKU! “Sum Sudoku”

Put one digit from 1-9 in each square of this Sudoku so that the following three conditions are met: 1) each row, column, and 3x3 box (as marked off by heavy lines in the grid) contains the digits 1-9 exactly one time; 2) no digit is repeated within any of the areas marked off by dotted lines; and 3) the sums of the numbers in each area marked off by dotted lines total the little number given in each of those areas. Now do what I tell you—solve!! psychosudoku@gmail.com

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© 2017 United Feature Syndicate, Dist. by Andrews McMeel Syndication 6

ACROSS 1. Speaker’s place 5. Walk stiffly 10. Quechua 15. Upscale 19. Greek weight 20. First lucky prime 21. Snare 22. Understanding words 23. Online politesse 25. Window-shade image 27. Garden decorations 28. Mark in a choral score 30. Trample 31. Charter 32. Taper off 33. Stylish 35. British classified 38. Hospital procedure 39. Blend 43. River in France 44. Knitted fabric 47. Defunct Mideast acronym 48. Swank 49. William — Gable 50. Guys 51. Frizzy hair style 52. Santa — 53. Cut off 54. Fluid-filled sac 55. Like hungry pets 56. Set fire anew 58. Weighty 59. Thin 60. Former students 61. Seawater 62. Leaf pore 63. Threat from a union 65. — ballerina 66. Famed concert hall 69. Pancake 70. Dupes 71. Via — 72. Serpentine letter

73. Grade 74. Fills to the gills 75. Fad 76. Proofreader’s notation 77. Feat 78. Naugahyde, e.g.

80. Raison — 81. Assignations 83. About: 2 wds.

84. Receptions 85. Festivals 86. Sotto voce remark 88. Chamber below ground 89. Medicinal plant 92. Hippodrome 93. Tree surgeon 97. Device used in seances 100. Puppet 102. Serf 103. Steer clear of 104. Arab VIP: Var. 105. Coal layer 106. Costly 107. “The Hunger —” 108. Boxes 109. Car cover DOWN 1. King and Rickles 2. Aid and — 3. Jot 4. Like an eel 5. “— Little” 6. To that place 7. Dilettantish 8. Term in tennis 9. Restrain: 2 wds.

10. Map with detail 11. Din 12. Bubbly quaff 13. Fireplace residue 14. — -Latin 15. Gore

16. Bone: Prefix 17. Stiff hair 18. Attentiveness 24. Quantity of paper 26. Of service 29. Flagrant 32. Oak-to-be 33. Terra- — 34. Boaters 35. Place of sacrifice 36. Name in a Blackmore title 37. Sauce for greens 38. Fixed gaze 39. Perfume 40. Women’s rights advocate 41. Concerns 42. Undermine 44. Casino attraction 45. Arboreal lizard 46. Chutzpah 49. Reprimand 51. What’s in — —?

53. Treacherous one 54. Top edges 55. “Once — —...”

57. Beef 58. Young salmon 59. Narrow groove or channel 61. Stock 62. Beatles’ “Sexy —”

63. Get lost!

64. Vestige 65. Shows displeasure 66. Hybrid poetical work 67. French department 68. — Park, Colorado 70. Pennants 71. Photo finish 74. Factor in heredity 75. Ladies: Fr. 76. Most harsh 78. Pale color 79. Word in a forecast 80. Cattle breed 82. Worker with hides 84. Tasks 86. Shaw the bandleader 87. Pips 88. Town — 89. Drove recklessly 90. If not 91. Zola novel 92. Tiny piece of anything 93. Bailiwick 94. Genus of shrubs 95. A-lister 96. Office worker, for short 98. Crone 99. Girl in Sevastopol 101. Elec. unit

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5/11 Solution

WORD FIND This is a theme puzzle with the subject stated below. Find the listed words in the grid. (They may run in any direction but always in a straight line. Some letters are used more than once.) Ring each word as you find it and when you have completed the puzzle, there will be 29 letters left over. They spell out the alternative theme of the puzzle.

Our Waterways Solution: 29 Letters

© 2017 Australian Word Games Dist. by Creators Syndicate Inc.

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Solution to last week’s puzzle

Ashburton Barwon Batemans Bay Botany Bay Canoe Daly Esk Finke Flinders Georges Hastings Hunter

Jetski Logan Mackenzie Manning Margaret Mary Myall Oar Orara Ord Richmond River

Ski Spray Surf Tides Tinny Tuggerah Tweed Victoria Wallis Weir Wet Yarra

36 | M A Y 1 8 , 2 0 1 7

5/11 Solution: A productive and fun way to unwind SHEPHERD EXPRESS

Solution: Essential for farming and leisure

Creators Syndicate 737 3rd Street • Hermosa Beach, CA 90254 310-337-7003 • info@creators.com

Date: 5/18/17

::CHUCK SHEPHERD’S

::FREEWILLASTROLOGY ::BY ROB BREZSNY TAURUS (April 20-May 20): My pregnant friend Myrna is determined to avoid giving birth via Caesarean section. She believes that the best way for her son to enter the world is by him doing the hard work of squeezing through the narrow birth canal. That struggle will fortify his willpower and mobilize him to summon equally strenuous efforts in response to future challenges. It’s an interesting theory. I suggest you consider it as you contemplate how you’re going to get yourself reborn.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): I invite you to try the following meditation: Picture yourself filling garbage bags with stuff that reminds you of what you used to be and don’t want to be any more. Add anything that feels like decrepit emotional baggage or that serves as a worn-out psychological crutch. When you’ve gathered up all the props and accessories that demoralize you, imagine yourself going to a beach where you build a big bonfire and hurl your mess into the flames. As you dance around the conflagration, exorcise the voices in your head that tell you boring stories about yourself. Sing songs that have as much power to relieve and release you as a spectacular orgasm.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): In normal times, your guardian animal ally might be the turtle, crab, seahorse or manta ray, but in the next three weeks, it’s the cockroach.

This unfairly maligned creature is legendary for its power to thrive in virtually any environment, and I think you will have a similar resourcefulness. Like the cockroach, you will do more than merely cope with awkward adventures and complicated transitions; you will flourish. One caution: It’s possible that your adaptability may bother people who are less flexible and enterprising than you. To keep that from being a problem, be empathetic as you help them adapt.

(P.S. Your temporary animal ally is exceptionally wellgroomed. Cockroaches clean themselves as much as cats do.)

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Lady Jane Grey was crowned Queen of England in July 1553, but she ruled for just nine days before being deposed. I invite you to think back to a time in your own past when victory was short-lived. Maybe you accomplished a gratifying feat after an arduous struggle, only to have it quickly eclipsed by a twist of fate. Perhaps you finally made it into the limelight but then lost your audience to a distracting brouhaha. But here’s the good news: Whatever it was—a temporary triumph? Incomplete success? Nullified conquest?—you will soon have a chance to find redemption for it.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): While shopping at a funky yard sale, I found the torn-off cover of a book titled You’re a Genius and I Can Prove It. Sadly, the rest of the book was not available. Later I searched for it in online bookstores, and found it was out of print. That’s unfortunate, because now would be an excellent time for you to peruse a text like this. Why? Because you need specific, detailed evidence of how unique and compelling you are—concrete data that will provide an antidote to your habitual self-doubts and consecrate your growing sense of self-worth. Here’s what I suggest you do: Write an essay entitled “I’m an Interesting Character and Here’s the Proof.”

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Leonardo da Vinci wrote a bestiary, an odd little book in which he drew moral conclusions from the behavior of animals. One of his descriptions will be useful for you to contemplate in the near future. It was centered on what he called the “wild ass,” which we might refer to as an undomesticated donkey.

Leonardo said that this beast, “going to the fountain to drink and finding the water muddy, is never too thirsty to wait until it becomes clear before satisfying himself.”That’s a useful fable to contemplate, Libra. Be patient as you go in search of what’s pure and clean and good for you. (The translation from the Italian is

by Oliver Evans.)

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): My friend Allie works as a matchmaker. She has an instinctive skill at reading the potential chemistry between people. One of her key strategies is to urge her clients to write mission statements.

“What would your ideal marriage look like?” she asks

SHEPHERD EXPRESS

them. Once they have clarified what they want, the process of finding a mate seems to become easier and more fun. In accordance with the astrological omens, Scorpio, I suggest you try this exercise—even if you are already in a committed relationship. It’s an excellent time to get very specific about the inspired togetherness you’re willing to work hard to create.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): In ancient Greek myth, Tiresias was a prophet who could draw useful revelations by interpreting the singing of birds. Spirits of the dead helped him devise his prognostications, too. He was in constant demand for revelations about the future.

But his greatest claim to fame was the fact that a goddess magically transformed him into a woman for seven years. After that, he could speak with authority about how both genders experienced the world.

This enhanced his wisdom immeasurably, adding to his oracular power. Are you interested in a less drastic but highly educational lesson, Sagittarius? Would you like to see life from a very different perspective from the one you’re accustomed to? It’s available to you if you want it.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): “You remind me of the parts of myself that I will never have a chance to meet,” writes poet Mariah Gordon-Dyke, addressing a lover. Have you ever felt like saying that to a beloved ally, Capricorn?

If so, I have good news: You now have an opportunity to meet and greet parts of yourself that have previously been hidden from you—aspects of your deep soul that up until now you may only have caught glimpses of. Celebrate this homecoming!

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): I predict that you won’t be bitten by a dog or embarrassed by a stain or pounced on by a lawyer.

Nor will you lose your keys or get yelled at by a friend or oversleep for a big appointment. On the contrary!

I think you’ll be wise to expect the best. The following events are quite possible: You may be complimented by a person who’s in a position to help you. You could be invited into a place that had previously been off limits. While eavesdropping, you might pick up a useful clue, and while daydreaming you could recover an important memory you’d lost. Good luck like this is even more likely to sweep into your life if you work on ripening the most immature part of your personality.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Time out. It’s intermission. Give yourself permission to be spacious and slow. Then, when you’re sweetly empty—this may take a few days—seek out experiences that appeal primarily to your wild and tender heart as opposed to your wild and jumpy mind. Just forget about the theories you believe in and the ideas you regard as central to your philosophy of life. Instead, work on developing brisk new approaches to your relationship with your feelings. Like what? Become more conscious of them, for example.

Express gratitude for what they teach you. Boost your trust for their power to reveal what your mind sometimes hides from you.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): “A 2-year-old kid is like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it,” said comedian Jerry Seinfeld. Would you like to avoid a scenario like that, Aries? Would you prefer not to see what happens if your life has resemblances to turning on a topless blender that’s full of ingredients? Yes? Then please find the top and put it on! And if you can’t locate the proper top, use a dinner plate or newspaper or pizza box. OK? It’s not too late. Even if the blender is already spewing almond milk and banana fragments and protein powder all over the ceiling. Better late than never!

Homework: Imagine what your life would be like if you even partially licked your worst fear. Describe this new world. Freewillastrology.com Go to RealAstrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny’s Expanded Weekly Audio Horoscopes and Daily Text Message Horoscopes. The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700.

NEWS OF THE WEIRD

Pedestrian Calming

O

fficials in charge of a Beijing-Hangzhou Grand Canal heritage site recently installed “speed bumps,” similar to those familiar to Americans driving residential streets—but on a pedestrian walkway, with row upon row of risers to resemble a washboard. A Western travel writer, along with editors of People’s Daily China, suggested that officials were irked that “disorderly” tourists had been walking past the ancient grounds too rapidly to appreciate its beauty or context.

Bright Ideas Compared to busy coastal metropolises, Indiana may evoke repose, and entrepreneur Tom Battista is suggesting the state’s largest city capitalize on the sentiment by reserving a destination site on a low-lying hill overlooking the chaotic merge lanes of two interstate highways—affording visitors leisurely moments watching the frantic motorists scrambling below. He plans three rows of seats and a sunshade for the relaxed gawkers to take in the ocean-like roar and imagine overwrought drivers’ rising blood pressure (while their own remains soothingly calm).

Several treatments are available to combat the heart arrhythmia “atrial fibrillation,” but all require medical supervision, which John Griffin, 69, said he tried to acquire at the emergency room at New Zealand’s Waikato Hospital in April, only to be met with delay and frustration. Griffin went home that day, took notice of his neighbor’s 8,000-volt electric security fence and, with boots off, in a fit of do-it-yourself desperation, nudged it with his arm. He got quite a jolt, he said, but he walked away, and his heart returned to natural rhythm. The medical director of the Heart Foundation of New Zealand said that Griffin was lucky and sternly warned against the “procedure.”

Weird Science Medical researchers have been frustrated for years at failures in getting certain cancer-fighting drugs to reach targeted areas in women’s reproductive tracts, but doctors in Germany announced in April a bold technique that appeared to work: sending the drugs via sperm cells, which seem to roam without obstruction as they search for an egg. The process involves coating active sperm cells with an iron adhesive and magnetically steering them to their internal targets.

Perspective In April, Tennessee state representative Mike Stewart, aiming to make a point about the state’s lax gun-sales laws by piggybacking it onto the cuddly feeling people have about children’s curbside lemonade stands, set up a combination stand on Nashville’s Capitol Hill, offering for sale lemonade, cookies—and an AK-47 assault rifle (with a sign reading “No Background Check,” to distinguish the private-sale AK-47 from one purchased from a federally licensed dealer).

(In fact, some states still regulate lemonade stands more than gun sales—by nettlesome “health department” and anti-competitive rules and licensing, though Tennessee allows the stands in most neighborhoods as long as they are small and operated infrequently.)

Least Competent Criminals Not Ready For Prime Time: In November, three teenagers were arrested after stealing super fast Dodge cars in the middle of the night from a dealership in St. Peters, Mo. (After driving less than a mile, police said, the three had lost control of their cars, crashing them, including “totaling” two 700-horsepower Challenger Hellcats.)

No Longer Weird News that was formerly weird, but whose patterns more recently have become so tedious that the stories deserve respectful retirement: In April, police in East Palestine, Ohio, said the 8-year-old boy who commandeered the family car and drove his sister, 4, to the local McDonald’s for a cheeseburger was different from the usual underage drivers in that he caused no problems. Witnesses said he followed traffic signals en route, which the boy attributed to learning from YouTube videos.

A News of the Weird Classic (October 2013) Imminent Swirling Vortex of Damnation: Land developers for the iconic Stanley Hotel in Estes Park, Colorado (the inspiration for the hotel in Stephen King’s “The Shining”) announced recently (2013) that they need more space and thus will dig up and move the hotel’s 12-gravesite pet cemetery (another Stephen King trope). Neighbors told the Fort Collins Coloradoan in September (2013) that they feared the construction noise more than the potential release of the departed spirits (though an “Animal Planet” “dog psychic” who lives in Estes Park volunteered her services to calm the pets’ souls). (Update: Apparently, it worked.) © CHUCK SHEPHERD 2017

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THEBACK::ARTFORART’SSAKE

Six-Feet Sleep ::BY ART KUMBALEK

I

’m Art Kumbalek and man oh man manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, I just got the info that Powers Boothe (“Guyana Tragedy: The Story of Jim Jones,” Con Air, Sin City, The Avengers, “Deadwood,” etc.) the deeply magnificent TV, movie, actor’s actor from out of Texas, has passed. Age 68. Died in his sleep. “Natural causes,” they report.

Hey, put me down for one of those: Age 68. Natural causes. Died in his sleep. Count me in, what the fock. (Which reminds me that, at my age, I really need to get more sleep. Put that on my bucket list.)

Yes sir, natural is the way to go in each and every way, I hear. Jeez louise, every other goddamn TV ad begs you to buy this or that ’cause it’s “natural”; so this or that has just got to be gosh darn good for you ’cause it’s “natural,” you bet. No artificial substitute, please, like cancer, bus runover, gunshot. Got to be natural.

And I figure that dying in or during your sleep, of natural causes, is also a financially sound way to bid adieu—to say “aloha, all” before a boatload of MRIs, PET scans, CAT scans, X-rays, chemotherapy, lying in a ho$pital bed puking sick for weeks,

sends you to bankruptcy and the poor house from the bills from the crappy or nonexistent health insurance bullshit. Yeah, I’ll take the “natural” croak in my sleep—cuts costs, I figure. Ha! Take that, you focking HMOs. Cripes, just this morning I heard some knobshine on the radio gasbagging ’bout the skyrocket costs for the health care, and that if all the people took more of what-you-call the preventative measures, these costs could enjoy a bit of shrinkage. That’s just got to be good news for the uninsured, ain’a?

Take your preventative measures—that way if you get good and honking sick, it might only cost you one billion focking bucks instead of two for christ sakes.

And speaking of shrinkage and healthcare, I’m reminded of a little story (Paul Ryan, Speaker of the House of Reprehensitives, I hope you’re reading): So this American tourist goes on a trip to China, where he got pretty frisky with the ladies. A week after he came back home to the greatest country on Earth, he awoke one morning to find his manhood privates covered with bright green and purple spots.

Perplexed, he went to see his doctor.

The doctor, never having seen such a thing, ordered a bunch of tests and told the guy to come back in two days for the results. Two days later he returns and the doctor says, “I’ve got bad news for you, sir.

You’ve contracted Mongolian VD. It’s very rare, almost unheard of here. We know very little about it.”

Our randy tourist is a bit relieved and says, “Well, give me a shot, a pill, and fix me up, doc.”

And the doctor says, “I’m sorry, there’s no known cure. We’re going to have to amputate.” In shock,

the guy says, “That can’t be focking possible. I need a second opinion!”

So the next day, the guy seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring it’s a disease from his neck of the woods and he should have experience treating it.

The Chinese doctor examines him and says, “Ah yes, Mongolian VD. Rare disease.” The guy says to the doctor, “I already know that, but what can you

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do? My American doctor wants to amputate!”

The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs: “American doctors always want to operate. Lotta money for them that way. No need to operate.”

The guy breathes a sigh of relief as the Chinese doctor continues, “Yes, no need to operate. Wait two weeks and it will fall off all by itself.” Ba-ding!

Anyways, I got to run. Time to slap together some kind of résumé for that honcho FBI job opening. If our Milwaukee County Sheriff’s name can be bandied about to be our nation’s top dick, I don’t see why my name can’t also. Besides, I look snazzier in my signature headgear than he does his, what the fock.

And I can’t forget to thank my constant reader Ingrid Mae for her so-much appreciated support and benefactoring, you betcha.

And cripes, where does the time go I ask, ’cause I also better not forget to hone my annual commencement address to our newest batch o’ graduates who’ve been painstakingly educated to the point they couldn’t find their butt on a map even if they were focking sitting on it. America: We’re No. 1!

Want some fries with that?

(Reminder: Fifty bucks and a case of ice-cold bottled beer is my standard fee for addressing whatever kind of group you got needs addressing.)

And in regard to what I can possibly say concerning the golden future that awaits our commencers just beyond the pale, what I got so far address-wise is, “There’s no business like show business, so get a focking job”—which is just as far as I got last year, so what the fock, guess I’m finished, time for a little shuteye ’cause I’m Art Kumbalek, and I told you so.

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