How to keep Marriage strong after Kids | Women's Issues Brisbane

How to keep Marriage strong after Kids?

Sustaining a happy marriage is not easy. After the initial excitement it can be very hard work. Just look at how many marriages fail for any number of reasons.

No matter how hard you try to sustain the spark in your relationship, life seems to get in the way.

There are the money worries and the responsibility of running the household and your job while keeping your husband happy as it suddenly dawns on him that those lazy days at the beach or the footy with the boys are gone, possibly forever.

It is an exercise that becomes even harder once the children start arriving. You suddenly discover that your life is not your own.

Children take up almost every ounce of your energy on a daily basis and days can pass when the only act of intimacy between you and the man of your dreams involves you standing alongside him in the bathroom shaving your legs while he gets the whiskers off his chin.

A US study back a few years revealed 92 per cent of couples described a gradual increase in conflict after having their babies. By the time their babies were 18 months old, almost one of four couples indicated that their marriage was in distress. And this does not include the 13% who already had announced separations and divorces.

According to the study, parents of school-age children experience less depression and personal stress than they did when their kids were babies, but marital satisfaction continues its steady decline for most couples.

It can be a continual chore from getting up in the morning to going to the “no action” marital bed at night.

Yet some parents remain happily married. What is their secret?

The key to marital satisfaction, said one of the US study authors, lies in how couples manage the decision-making process.

“It's not whether the couples have problems, because every couple does. But when babies come along, there are a lot more issues and differences of opinion to negotiate, and a couple's ability to do so with cooperation and respect can make or break the marriage,” she said.

“It's also important for partners to hear each other's outbursts without immediately firing back or engaging in blame. And the one who's said or done something thoughtless needs to make amends later. Saying, "I made that comment out of anger. I really didn't mean it," goes a long way toward repairing a relationship.�

While everyone knows about date nights, they're a lot easier to talk about than to actually do. Still, there are lots of other ways to get closer to your spouse and revive the romance despite the many challenges of raising a family.

Here are five tips that might help.

1. Praising their partner: Sixty-one percent of happy couples say their spouse makes them feel good about themselves, versus only 27 percent of moderately happy and unhappy couples.

2. Focusing on good sex, not lots of it: Three out of four happy couples are satisfied with their lovemaking, even if its frequency has diminished over time.

3. Keeping the faith: Among study couples who are happiest together, 96 percent of the wives and 92 percent of the husbands say the most crucial marriage expectation is this: "You should feel that your spouse would never hurt or deceive you."

4. Continuing to learn about each other's needs: Virtually all the contented couples in the study expressed that they know and understand their partner intimately -- not just daily routines and personal preferences, but what truly makes each other feel special.

5. Sharing their secrets: Half of all the happy couples say they regularly reveal secrets or share their feelings with their partner.

In Brisbane SheBrisbane Magazine share women familt stories, relationships tips and health-fitness tips!

If you want to share our stories our family stories then visit us today!