OTT_Dream Weddings_012823

Dream Weddings

Breaking Tradition On Your Wedding Day

An Ottawa bride followed her heart to have the day of her dreams

January 2023

Also:

• Questions to ask yourself and vendors while wedding planning

• How pastor premarital counseling can set the stage for success

• Seattle Sutton provides a tasty way to look and feel great during wedding planning

4 SETTING YOUR MARRIAGE UP FOR SUCCESS Pastor premarital counseling can be a helpful tool.

6 ‘LET YOUR WEDDING BE TRUE TO WHO YOU ARE’ Advice from a 2022 bride.

8 SO, YOU HAVE A RING ON YOUR FINGER: NOW WHAT? A bride-to-be shares her planning tips and knowledge.

10 LOOKING AND FEELING GOOD ON YOUR WEDDING DAY Seattle Sutton’s meals help with convenience, nutrition.

Publisher Dan Goetz

Niche Editor Shannon Serpette sserpette@shawmedia.com

Regional Advertising Director Jeanette Smith jmsmith@shawmedia.com

Writers Courtney Jonsson Brandon LaChance Shannon Serpette

Designer Liz Klein Published

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Setting Your Marriage Up For Success

Story by Courtney Jonsson

Pastor premarital counseling can be a helpful tool

After an engagement, the focus often shifts directly to planning the wedding. Picking out decorations, attire, catering, and flowers are all part of celebrating the love that you have found. But there is another important decision that a couple must make when deciding to be married, and that is whether to participate in a religious ceremony.

Each religion has distinct elements in its ceremonies based on its traditions. While a lot of traditions can be seen throughout the wedding ceremony, some religions have practices that take place before the couple gets to the altar. In the Christian faith, pastors often require premarital counseling before performing the ceremony.

Premarital counseling is a tool that couples can use to build a foundation for a successful marriage. During counseling sessions, pastors act as facilitators during the hard conversations couples should have before taking their vows. Prepare/Enrich, a premarital counseling program that pastors use to facilitate premarital counseling, is believed to reduce the risk of divorce by 30 percent for couples who go through counseling sessions before taking their vows.

Pastor Jennifer AmyDressler of OpenTable United Church of Christ in Ottawa and Pastor John Walker of First Presbyterian Church

in Ottawa use the Prepare/ Enrich program with all the couples they perform marriage ceremonies for. They’ve found that these sessions provide clarity for couples and allow them to discover new things about themselves.

Amy-Dressler said premarital counseling allows the couple to approach topics with a sense of acknowledgment rather than judgment.

“The couple begins by taking an assessment of themselves. We review each assessment together and talk through the results. This allows a couple to know their differences and create systems that work around those differences,” she said.

“This is a process of discovery,” Walker said, while reflecting on the initial conversations of couples. A few topics that come up in the assessment include finances, roles within the household,

family of origin, and conflict resolution styles. Identifying each other’s strengths and growth areas allows the couple to navigate their marriage with the promise they made to each other at the forefront.

“For richer or for poorer. In sickness and in health, for as long as we both shall live,” is a classic vow and a promise both individuals make to one another when they are married. But what happens when conflict arises?

“Remembering the promise you made to one another allows you to see the other through a different lens. You see the other through the promise you made to them rather than the conflict you are having,” Walker said.

Part of understanding each other comes down to the family of origin and conflict resolution styles, so they are brought up early on during premarital counseling. Learn-

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First Presbyterian Church is located at 114 East Jefferson St. in Ottawa, and its worship services are at 9:30 a.m. every Sunday.

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OpenTable United Church of Christ is located at 910 Columbus Street in Ottawa, and its worship services are at 10 a.m. every Sunday.

ing how the other was taught to deal with conflict and what they respond to when conflict arises will grant the couple an opportunity to approach with a sense of understanding.

Figuring out how to move through a problem while the problem still exists can be tough because emotions are high. Couples should analyze the types of conflict resolution tactics that they respond to best when those tactics are not being deployed. Doing this will give the couple a game plan for when conflict arises.

Communication is the foundation of understanding. Choosing words wisely and being direct in communicating what you want is a way to ensure your needs are met and that you’re meeting the needs of the other. In talking with your partner, you continue to discover the mystery of the other. You’ll discover flaws within yourself, flaws within your partner, and flaws within each other.

Talking through things can get complex, but communication doesn’t always have to be.

Walker offered some tangible advice by saying, “Three word phrases couples should use often are ‘I love you,’ ‘Please forgive me,’ and ‘I forgive you.’”

Walker said active listening is just as important as direct communication. When you listen, you can grow closer to understanding the person you married.

Amy-Dressler mentioned a couple’s covenant in a different light.

“Once you choose marriage, you have a covenant between the two of you, but it now includes those who have gathered to support you in your marriage,” she said. “Your marriage is now recognized by wider society, so it affects your entire community.”

She said the couple should find ways to support wider society. After marriage, it is

about you and your spouse as a unit, so she encourages couples to find a community where they are both loved equally by the members and where they can receive unbiased support when needed. This can be faith-based or not. Joining this group as a unit allows the couple an opportunity to receive support when times get tough and to offer support to others when they need it. Amy-Dressler also encourages the couple to find a cause they are passionate about and give a portion of their income to it. Doing this creates space for the couple to discuss other passions they may have and causes they are tied to.

For newly engaged couples, both pastors encourage exploring your relationship deeply, as the promise you make on your wedding day is much bigger than just yourselves. Remember to talk to one another, hold space to listen, and always move in the direction of growth.

‘Let your wedding be true to who you are’

Advice from a 2022 bride

Story by Shannon Serpette

Often, when a bride is planning her ceremony and reception, she faces a common dilemma: Should she plan her big day exactly as she sees fit, even if it means she might alienate some guests who don’t like her decisions? Planning a destination wedding, for instance, can be criticized by those who don’t have the extra money to travel. Choosing not to allow

children at the wedding or reception can upset relatives who feel their children are being excluded from the fun. One recent bride urges other brides not to worry about the criticism they may face; instead, they should feel free to plan their wedding day exactly how they would like it to be.

When Ashley Geiger and Casey Bailey of Ottawa were married on Sept. 30, 2022, at Camp Aramoni in Tonica, she

wanted her day to be exactly how she envisioned it, even if it broke with the traditional wedding many guests have come to expect.

“Let your wedding be true to who you are. It’s okay to break traditions to make it your dream day. Make your guest list 21 and older, skip speeches and traditional dances, curate your whole wedding day playlist. I did all of those things, and the day felt like it was truly

Ashley Bailey said her favorite part of her wedding was when she and her soon-to-be husband read their vows to each other.

PHOTO BY TESSA SHYMANSKI

mine,” she said.

Like many brides, Ashley said she felt overwhelmed at first when planning her wedding, which had a turnout of about 75 guests.

“As the months went on, I was able to organize my planning and work on things little by little. Once I hit the threemonth mark, I had almost everything finished,” she said.

She was surprised by how much actually goes into planning the wedding.

“You think of the main things – venue, dress shopping, bridal shower. Then you realize there are a million tiny things you have to decide on, like what kind of chairs you want and which specific photos you want your photographer to capture. It wasn’t

until the reception ended that I was able to stop making decisions,” she said.

One of the things Ashley learned during her wedding planning was how to use her creativity to budget and save money.

“I hand-dyed and cut all the fabric for the runners and napkins. I also designed and made my own signage, place cards, programs, and table numbers. I even made a personalized denim jacket,” she said.

All brides need help, though, and one of Ashley’s resources was Andrea Mason, the event manager and coordinator at Camp Aramoni.

“She made the wedding planning process easy and stress-free. She had every-

thing set up and looking beautiful hours before the ceremony started. Thanks to her, the day flowed seamlessly, and I was able to enjoy my wedding day without worry,” Ashley said.

While wedding planning can be stressful, the end result is worth it for most brides. For Ashley, all her planning resulted in a gorgeous day she’ll always remember. Her favorite part was when she and her husband-to-be read each other the vows they had written, only to find out they were quite similar.

“It was the perfect day filled with love, family, and 70-degree weather. We couldn’t have asked for more,” she said.

Ashley Bailey enjoys a quiet moment to herself.

PHOTOS BY TESSA SHYMANSKI

Even if a bride and groom have an indoor wedding and reception, outdoor photographs like this are a key part of any wedding photo album.

Ashley Bailey makes time to spend with a loved one on her wedding day.

A bride-to-be shares her planning tips and knowledge

So, you have a ring on your finger:Now what?

By Courtney Jonsson

Knowing where to start when planning your wedding can be completely overwhelming. There are so many details, including the flowers, the dress, the food, the bar, and the DJ. So many elements go into one day, and you want everything to be perfect! But how? Where do you even begin? Don’t worry – we’re in this together.

I’m Courtney, and I’m a 2023 bride. My wedding day isn’t until November, but I have all my vendors booked, and I’ve said “yes” to the dress. I’ve also binged-watched wedding planning on YouTube, so you don’t have to. From hours of researching, I have found some important and often forgotten questions you should ask your vendors before you book.

First, there are three things you and your fiancé need to figure out before you begin researching wedding vendors.

WHAT IS YOUR BUDGET?

Having a budget range that you’d like to stick to is crucial when wedding planning. Spending more than you’re comfortable with will add to your stress levels. My advice is to skip approaching a particular vendor if you already know it is out of your budget.

WHAT IS YOUR ESTIMATED GUEST COUNT?

Sit down and make a preliminary list of who you would like to invite. This number will help you find a venue that is appropriate for your wedding and help you understand how much the food and the bar could cost. The number of guests you have at your wedding can drastically affect the cost of your event.

WHAT ARE YOUR TOP THREE PRIORITIES?

These are the three things you are willing to spend the most money on. Think about the non-negotiables of your wedding day and start there. When interviewing each vendor, have a list of the important

elements you’re sure you’d like to include. Understand what is important and what is a small detail that will never matter in the grand scheme of things. Vendors may not be able to provide exactly what you’d like within their packages, so having a list of non-negotiables for each vendor is important.

Once you’ve discussed these three questions, you and your fiancé are ready to start making calls for each item you’ll need to plan. Let’s look at the big categories.

VENUE

Setting your date for the big day simply means booking your venue or venues. Some couples have the ceremony at one location and the reception at another. My advice is to book the location that is most important to you. If you’ve always dreamed of

getting married in the same church your grandparents did, book that first. Here are a few key questions to ask when you’re on venue tours. How many hours are included in your rental price, and do those hours include set up and tear down?

If setup and teardown are not included in this time frame, you may have to pay for extra time in the venue. Having this time frame will guide you when you begin planning your wedding day’s timeline. Do you host more than one event per day? This question will give you a sense of whether your event will be prioritized based on their workload. You can always follow up by asking how many staff will be assigned to your event.

Are there hotels in the area that provide a shuttle service to and from your venue? If you have a lot of

PHOTO BY KP PHOTOGRAPHY

Courtney Jonsson of Streator and her fiancé, Charlie Preidis, also of Streator, are planning a November 2023 wedding.

guests from out of town, this question will be important.

CATERING

Food and the bar are crucial elements of your wedding day. While these elements usually make up a large part of your wedding budget, there are a few questions you can ask to avoid surprise costs.

Are the prices we talked about today what will be honored for our wedding day? Some caterers have a disclaimer to say the food price can go up to a certain percent of the cost you talked about during your consultation. This saves caterers from losing money if the market price skyrockets. This surcharge is important to plan for so that you’re not blindsided by a price increase.

Are china, glassware, and silverware included with your catering service? You may think this is a silly question, but believe it or not, some catering companies charge for every fork, plate, and cup they set on the table.

How many wait staff do you recommend for our chosen service style and guest count, and what is the cost per staff member? When thinking about how you want your meal to be served, also consider how many staff that will require. Buffet requires the least amount of staff, while plated meals will take the most staff.

PHOTOGRAPHY

The photos of your wedding day are the only thing you will have left once your day commences. Be sure you absolutely love the style that your photographer shoots in, and be sure to ask the following questions before you book.

Do you offer a second shooter? If you want your fiancé’s reaction when you first see him, and you want your reaction captured simultaneously, then book a second shooter. Having two photographers will ensure all the special moments will be captured from multiple points of view.

Can we give you a specific list

of photos we want to have taken?

Submitting a list of your dream shots will allow your photographer to know exactly what to capture on your day.

Are their travel fees associated with our location? Some photographers have a limit as to how far they will travel, and others will fly across the country to shoot your wedding.

Along with asking these questions, there is one last tip I’d like to offer. Ask for a sample contract before you have your initial consultation with any vendor. This will allow you to review the contract in private with your fiancé without the pressure of the vendor being present. You may come up with more questions for the vendor after reviewing the contract, and you may find elements that you’re willing to negotiate over.

Work on planning your wedding when you feel inspired. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, and remember to take some downtime to breathe and decompress. Your wedding will be beautiful!

Looking and Feeling Good on Your Wedding Day

Seattle Sutton’s meals help with convenience, nutrition

By Brandon LaChance

The ups and downs of weight loss and weight gain are a never-ending battle for just about all of us. But the pressure to look and feel good can feel more intense for brides and grooms as they approach their big day.

Hitting the weights or the treadmill may not be in the schedule because of work, children, civic engagements, or planning the wedding. When you don’t have much time for exercise, food becomes the number one component of being healthy and looking fabulous.

Seattle Sutton’s Healthy Eating is here to help with their prepackaged meals.

“As a dietician myself and I’m constantly helping people improve their lives, this is actually a product I recommended to many people before I started working here,” said Rene Ficek, the president and owner of Seattle Sutton. “The idea of putting these recommendations in practice, that people can use it as a teaching tool to educate themselves of what healthy eating is and what healthy eating looks like, and what portion sizes should be, can be a really powerful thing once you understand it a little bit better.”

It can be easier to get onboard with a new healthy eating plan when you’re not doing it alone, so Seattle Sutton meals are a good option for brides and grooms.

“We do have a lot of couples that do it together. It makes it easier for them. We have plenty of people that come to us prior to their wed-

“We do have a lot of couples that do it together. It makes it easier for them. We have plenty of people that come to us prior to their wedding to help them look good.”

Rene Ficek President & Owner, Seattle Sutton

ding to help them look good,” she said. “We have plenty of people that come for the convenience. We have plenty of people who really don’t want the hassle, but they want convenient, flavorful, and delicious food.”

“We have an executive chef who takes our nutrition recommendations, and he can add a lot of flavor and creativity to them. It’s certainly not boring healthy food,” she said. “A lot of people are looking to lose weight for their weddings,

PHOTO CONTRIBUTED

Ray Anderes (left, CEO), Rene Ficek (president and owner), and Mike Ficek (owner) are the three executives at Seattle Sutton’s Healthy Eating. Seattle Sutton was built in 1985 by Seattle Sutton before the Ficeks bought the prepackaged meal company in 2018.

and unfortunately, they tend to go to fad diets that only work temporarily but are not consistent.”

Rene, who is a registered dietician and nutritionist, began working for Seattle Sutton in 2013 under the original owner, Seattle Sutton. Later on, Sutton, who started her company in 1985 after being a nurse for 22 years, was looking to sell the company. Ficek and her husband, Michael, purchased the healthy prepackaged meal company in 2018. Rene’s father, Ray Anderes, who was the previous owner of Uptown Grill in LaSalle, was brought on as the CEO.

Rene, Michael, and Ray are the three executives who make all final decisions for healthy meal options at Seattle Sutton.

“Being able to see it firsthand in customer testimonials and to hear their stories has been remarkable,” said Rene. “It’s a place to work that actually has a true mission and vision. At the end of the day, you’re helping people. It’s definitely a rewarding job, career, and business.”

With its commitment to fresh foods, Seattle Sutton is different from other prepackaged meal companies.

“There are fresh fruits and vegetables, which makes us stand out from our competitors. Our product is fresh; it isn’t frozen. A lot of other meal companies, a vast majority of them, are frozen, prepackaged food. That’s not what we do. The fresh produce brings nutrition and vol-

ume to the meals rather than something that is sodium laced,” she said.

Seattle Sutton’s headquarters is in Ottawa, just off Rt. 80, where clients can pick up meals. There are four other local meal pickup locations – Peru, Mendota, and Streator YMCAs, and the Bureau County Metro Center – as well as 30 Chicagoland locations. Seattle Sutton also delivers meals nationwide in one-day shipping, refrigerated boxes.

The meals can be ordered in different ways. There isn’t a contract forcing you to stick with the program for six months, a year, or more. Instead, the client is able to tailor the meals around their schedule and finances.

The full program consists of 21 meals a week for five weeks (breakfast, lunch, and dinner), which includes 105 different meals to avoid any repeat items for the entire five-week menu cycle. There are three different calorie packages – 1,200, 1,500, and 2,00 calories.

“The meals range from some of your comfort food favorites to Mexican dishes and other cultural flavors. It’s not just salads,” said Dan Rosier, marketing director at Seattle Sutton. “There are meals that come across as being heartier. Breakfast is included, and there is everything from savory to sweet. It really makes you feel like you have your own executive chef preparing meals for you as opposed to just trying to find something in the frozen food section.”

“My daughter just got married, and she was running around with no time to eat right. She was eating a lot of fast food rather than making meals,” he said. “When I had the opportunity to bring Seattle Sutton meals home, she was overjoyed because she knew she had something tasty, fresh, and filling without being junk.”

Clients can also do partial weeks where they can get Seattle Sutton packages on Monday for the week or pick up on Thursday for weekend meals.

Whether you’re running around planning a wedding and don’t want to eat fast food, you’re being watchful of your health, or you want to look amazing in your dress or tuxedo, Seattle Sutton’s Healthy Eating has an option for you.

“Others may not want to lose weight, but because of the stress and the craziness of getting ready for a wedding, they still want to make sure they’re maintaining their good health,” Rosier said. “It’s very convenient. The way the meals are packaged, you can literally throw one in your lunch bag and take it to work. Or you can bring a breakfast meal with you and eat it when you’re done at the gym.”

“The meals conform to a busy lifestyle really well. Couples getting ready to be married are being pulled in 17 different directions,” he said. “This can be one thing they’re doing that they know they’re taking care of themselves.”

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