Kane County Chronicle / KCChronicle.com • Friday, May 16, 2014
| ADVICE
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Exercise floor show detracts from visits Dear Abby: When my husband and I go to visit my mother (in another city) every other month or so, my brother and his wife insist on coming over to see us while we’re there. Our visits usually last two or three days. Many times when they come over, my sister-in-law will start doing her exercise routine, including floor exercises, which are, in my husband’s and my opinion, unbecoming and inappropriate to do in front of other people. How do we deal with this? Are we crazy to feel awkward when she’s lying on her back doing these pelvic thrusts? Would it be out of line to ask her NOT to do this in the future? My brother says, “She won’t listen to me, so it wouldn’t do any good to talk to her,” so we know talking to her won’t help. What do you suggest? – Feeling Awkward Dear Feeling Awkward: Here’s how I’d handle it. Talk to her anyway, and ask her to please refrain from doing these exercises in your presence because it makes you uncomfortable. But if that doesn’t work and she starts “performing,”
DEAR ABBY Jeanne Phillips stand up and say, “Hey, folks. Let’s go out for a walk (or coffee, or a sandwich),” and put an end to her bid for attention that way. Dear Abby: My boyfriend will have “scheduled” sex with me – only after he has had his shower in the evening or in the morning. It’s driving me crazy. I have tried many ways to get him to have sex spontaneously, but he won’t budge. It’s starting to be a turn-off because it’s not the “right time.” What do I do? – Looser Than That In Detroit Dear Looser: Your boyfriend may have a touch of OCD, or need to feel “in control” when he has sex. In other words, if the encounter is not his idea and at the time he chooses, he doesn’t get turned on. There’s help for him if he’s willing to admit there “may” be a problem. But if he isn’t, then find yourself another fella because
nothing is likely to change. Dear Abby: My sister-in-law is being married in September. I am in the wedding. My wife and I are having a baby in June, but the bride does not want to include my new baby. I think she is concerned people will pay attention to the baby and not her. Many distant relatives will attend and this may be the only time they will see my son. She plans to invite more than 200 people. Am I right to be upset that my son, her nephew, is not invited? – John Doe In Plano, Texas Dear John Doe: I don’t think so. It’s the bride’s day, and you should abide by her wishes without complaining. If she prefers not to have her wedding disrupted by an infant who needs feeding or changing, it’s her choice. Because you want to show off your new baby, bring along pictures and pass them around. I’m sure the relatives will be thrilled to see them. • Write Dear Abby at www. dearabby.com.
Most hiatal hernias do not require treatment Dear Doctor K: My mother was recently diagnosed with a “sliding hernia.” What is this? Dear Reader: A “sliding hernia” is a type of hiatal hernia. OK, so what’s a hiatal hernia? A hernia occurs when part of an organ juts through an opening into an area where it shouldn’t. The stomach is an organ that is supposed to stay in the abdomen, for example. The abdomen is separated from the chest by a flat, dish-like plate of muscle called the diaphragm. Above the diaphragm are the lungs, heart and esophagus (the swallowing tube). Below are the stomach, intestines and other abdominal organs. The very bottom of the esophagus and the very top of the stomach are joined right at the diaphragm. A hiatal hernia is named for the hiatus, an opening in the diaphragm. Food swallowed down the esophagus normally enters the stomach just below the diaphragm. In most people, that opening is small enough that the stomach could not fit through it. In a hiatal hernia, however, the upper part of the stomach slips up through the diaphragm into the chest. The term “sliding” means that the junction between the stomach and esophagus
ASK DOCTOR K Anthony L. Komaroff moves up and down. Unlike the case in most people, the junction is not stuck right at the diaphragm. (On my website, AskDoctorK.com, I’ve put an illustration of a normal, tight hiatus and a hiatal hernia.) Sliding hiatal hernias are very common. Smokers, overweight people and women older than 50 are more likely to develop one. And certain activities or conditions that increase pressure within the abdomen can increase the risk of developing a sliding hiatal hernia. They include persistent or heavy coughing, vomiting, straining while defecating, sudden physical exertion and pregnancy. Many people with hiatal hernias have no symptoms at all. Hopefully, your mother is one of those. Others have heartburn or gastroesophageal reflux (GERD). This tends to be worse when they lean forward, strain or lie down. Still others may have a hard time swallowing, or chronic belching. Sliding hiatal hernias rarely
cause major complications. Most people with hiatal hernias do not require treatment. If your mother has reflux symptoms, lifestyle changes might help. For example, she can try eating smaller, more frequent meals. She should also avoid eating for at least two hours before going to bed and sit up for at least one hour after eating. If lifestyle changes do not relieve her symptoms, medication can help. She can try one or more of the many antacids and acid blockers on the market. Few people with a sliding hiatal hernia require surgery. In fact, I’ve never had a patient with a hiatal hernia who required it. Surgery is usually reserved for patients who have persistent reflux symptoms or inflammation of the esophagus that does not heal with medication. So, your mother has a quite common condition. And there almost surely will be good treatments for it – if your mother has symptoms from it.
• Dr. Komaroff is a physician and professor at Harvard Medical School. Visit www.AskDoctorK. com to send questions and get additional information.
Girl learns new boyfriend’s history of abuse through ex Dr. Wallace: I’m 20 and the guy I’m seeing is 22. We met at a mutual friend’s party and have been dating for two months. Mike is a nice guy and always a gentleman when we are together. I was invited to a baby shower for Mike’s sister a couple of weeks ago and, while I was there I met one of Mike’s ex-girlfriends. When I found out who she was, I introduced myself and told her I was dating Mike. I asked her why she broke up with him and she said that he had physically and sexually abused her, so she had him arrested and he was found guilty and spent time behind bars for his criminal behavior. I was shocked and told her I couldn’t believe it about Mike. She said that if I didn’t believe her to ask his sister. When I spoke with his sister, she admitted that it was true and that he had also abused another girlfriend. I left the shower and went home and cried. When I saw Mike, he admitted that he slapped his ex-girlfriend because she was seeing another guy behind his back. He denied abusing his other girlfriend and gave me her number to call so it would prove that he wasn’t violent with her. When I called her she said she had no comment and hung up on me. Now I don’t know what to think and I’m very confused because I think I might be in love with this guy. What is your advice? – Nameless, Schereville, Ind. Dear Nameless: Even if he behaves like a gentleman with you, I have to believe that an ex-girlfriend and his sister are truthful when they both say he is physically and sexually violent. Dump the guy immediately
’TWEEN 12 & 20 Robert Wallace before he gets violent with you. Guys who batter females are psychologically ill and, without professional help, will continue this despicable and cowardly behavior when something triggers their aggression. It’s almost impossible for a guy to overcome this illness unless he receives the necessary professional treatment he so desperately needs. Dr. Wallace: I’m amazed at all of the uproar over professional athletes that have admitted to or are suspected of using steroids. If an athlete chooses to have a bigger and stronger body by using steroids, what’s the big deal? A lot of athletes take vitamin pills. Aren’t they doing the same thing – making the body more potent and more and more powerful? I think steroids should be considered legal. Do you agree? – Connor, Altoona, Pa. Dear Connor: Vitamin supplements do help all people, including athletes, to have a healthy body, but unlike steroids, they won’t cause immediate and longterm dangerous side effects, are not addictive and won’t cause physical deterioration that could result in death. Steroids are banned in all forms of athletic competition. Only those who place personal accomplishment above honor take the chance of not being caught as a steroid user. Simply put, steroid users are cheaters! • Email Dr. Robert Wallace at rwallace@ galesburg.net.