San Francisco Bay Times - November 27, 2014

/SF Bay Times

“Everything queer!”-Terry we have is Ast

e n B e n n e tt

PHOTOS BY ABBY ZIMBERG

November 27-December 3, 2014 | www.sfbaytimes.com

Make the Yuletide Gay! Cliff ’s Discovered the Castro Before We Did Long before the Castro was a queer enclave, Cliff’s Variety was up and running in the neighborhood. It’s now been in business for 78 years, and is one of the oldest family-run businesses in all of San Francisco.

Like the items it sells, Cliff ’s was built to last and is still going strong.

Let’s take a look back at some key moments in its still-evolving incredible history.

1990s- Cliff’s becomes the owner of its retail space, leading to remodeling and even more goods. 471 Castro Street is now called “Cliff’s Annex.”

In the late 1990s, Terry returns home from college and chooses to carry on the family tradition by taking over operations at the store.

2003- Terry has a daughter who may one day be the next generation to carry on the family history of Cliff’s Variety.

1942- DeBaca moves his store to 515 Castro Street, providing him with double the original space. Gay men begin to move into the area as the U.S. military dishonorably discharges thousands of homosexual servicemen during World War II.

SAN FRANCISCO DEPARTMENT OF PUBLIC WORKS PHOTO ARCHIVE

1936- Hilario DeBaca, a former merchant and schoolteacher from New Mexico, comes out of retirement to open Cliff’s Variety at 545 Castro Street. DeBaca names the store after his youngest son, Clifford.

The store sells a variety of goods including magazines, cigars, sewing notions, greeting cards, toys and candy.

Looking north at 18th and Castro in 1915; Below, looking south

needs and desires of the still-growing LGBT population. From then on, shoppers can get a plaster ceiling medallion, a feather boa, a toilet fill valve, a rhinestone tiara, and toys for the nieces and nephews all in one place!

1946- DeBaca’s oldest son Ernie sets up a workbench in the back of Cliff’s Variety so that he can repair small appliances there for customers. Later that same year, Ernie produces the first Halloween street party on Castro Street.

1970s- Ernie and his wife Martha’s two daughters—Marian and Terry—are born. Marian later moves north for a life in the country. Terry spends her high school years working at the store.

1952- DeBaca dies. Ernie continues to work at the store, helped by other family members.

1960- Cliff’s moves again, this time to 495 Castro Street. Ernie’s amazing repair skills gain him fame. Customers bring in televisions, radios, toasters, lamps, locks, clocks, windows and even the proverbial kitchen sink. Ernie fixes all with ease.

1967- The Summer of Love happens, bringing as many as 100,000 new young people to San Francisco.

They converge upon the HaightAshbury, but also gather in other neighborhoods too.

rent will triple. That same year, the five and dime store Bon Omi goes out of business and Ernie purchases it in August. The re-located Cliff’s is now at 479 Castro Street. Product lines are expanded to meet the

1980s- Cliff’s popularity continues to rise. As the business flourishes, so does its need for more space. In the late 80s, a Hallmark Card shop adjacent to Cliff ’s becomes available for lease. Ernie and Martha quickly jump at the opportunity, making 471 Castro Street their new home for Cliff’s fabric and linens, as well as bedding and bath accessories.

1971- The landlord of 495 Castro Street tells Ernie DeBaca that his

PHOTOS BY ABBY ZIMBERG

1960s- Throughout the 60s, the Castro’s LGBT population steadily climbs. Many purchase formerly neglected Victorians, outfitting them with goods purchased at Cliff’s.

2014- Terry and her husband Rich Bennett have a blast posing for San Francisco Bay Times photographer and designer Abby Zimberg, and wish you all a joy-filled holiday season!

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Make the Yuletide Gay!

Holiday Magic Happens Every Day of the Year at Cliff ’s Variety Rumor has it that some of Santa’s LGBT elves left the North Pole for sunnier San Francisco and set up shop at Cliff ’s Variety, where kids of all ages can experience glowing queer holiday magic all year long.

Even general manager Terry Asten Bennett, whose family owns the Castro-based landmark, lights up thinking about the store’s latest toys and housewares.

“The new Breville appliances are very well made,” she said, “and RC cars (which perform stunts, pop wheelies, light up, and more) are hard to resist. Last year’s must-have item for kids, loom bands, are still popular, but we have new building and science sets too.” When asked what newly arrived offerings are her faves, she replied: “I think most of us want one of everything.”

Cliff’s visitors can peruse the store’s full line of Fuller O’Brien paints for home improvement projects, gorgeous Victorian and Art Deco doorknobs and lock plates for restoration needs, snazzy doorbell buttons, colorful housewares, fabrics and crafts galore, tiaras and boas to make anyone feel like a star and, of course, one of the best selections of holiday items. This is only just scratching the surface of what’s available in the literally packed-to-the-rafters store.

“We have four head buyers,” Asten Bennett said, helping to explain how Cliff’s manages to stock such an astounding array of fabulous items.

“They travel to shows in Chicago, Las Vegas, Atlanta and other cities,” she added.

In addition to being a shopping paradise, Cliff’s has also been a work saver for us, with one or more San Francisco Bay Times staff members running there for zip ties (to hold up banners on parade vehicles), office supplies, and goodness knows what else. The store is a true treasure in our neighborhood, and we don’t know what we’d do without it.

Cliff ’s is fully integrated into our LGBT community, giving back whenever possible. For example, from Friday, November 28, through Sunday, November 30, if you give $5 or more to the School Support Fund via Cliff’s, you’ll receive 20% off your transaction and the raised money will go to support the Harvey Milk Civil Rights Academy. If you do the math, and depending on what you purchase, the savings will quickly start to add up, all while you contribute to a great cause.

PHOTOS BY ABBY ZIMBERG

Cliff’s is at 479 Castro Street. San Francisco, CA 94114, telephone 415-4315365, http://www.cliffsvariety.com/ index.html

“Thank you!” to Terry, Rich and the entire Cliff’s Variety family from the San Francisco Bay Times.

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Make the Yuletide Gay! Upper Market & Castro Ready for Busy Holidays

By Daniel Bergerac Businesses in the Castro and Upper Market neighborhoods of San Francisco are ready for one of their brightest and best year-end holiday seasons in years. Having made it through months of heavy construction and disruption, they now are celebrating beautiful, wider sidewalks; Rainbow Crosswalks at Castro and 18th Streets; improved pedestrian and street lighting; shining Rainbow Honor Walk plaques honoring 20 notable LGBT people throughout history; new programmable celebratory/color lighting on street poles; new street trees; 20 Castro History Walk stops recapping the neighborhood’s history from earliest times to the present; a refreshed Jane Warner Plaza by Muni’s F-Line Historic Streetcars Terminal on 17th Street at CastroMarket; and more.

this holiday season

thanks to our sponsors!

Lots of holiday decorations sponsored by Castro Merchants are appearing, including the 24’ brightly decorated and lit Holiday Tree at

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Bay Times & Betty's List

Castro and 18th Streets; gold and silver ribbons on Upper Market Street median palm trees; and— new this year—warm white lights glowing every evening on street trees along Upper Market from Sanchez to Castro Streets.

Castro Merchants also will welcome everyone from the neighborhood and beyond at its Annual Holiday Tree Lighting Ceremony on Monday, December 1, starting at 6:00pm at the Tree (Castro & 18th Streets). Emceed by everyone’s beloved Empress Donna Sachet, the lighting will include holiday music from many traditions by the San Francisco Lesbian/Gay Freedom Band, Lesbian/Gay Chorus of San Francisco, and the San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus (and audience sing-alongs); greetings from local and City officials; an invitation to “Shop, Drink and Dine” later that evening throughout the Upper Market/Castro area; all topped by the arrival “Code 3” (courtesy of the S.F. Police Department) of Santa and his elves, who then will flip the magic switch to light up the tree that will glow through New Years Day. The Castro offers gift ideas and shopping from high fashion to funky, with fun and practical in between. And don’t forget to have some warm holiday get-togethers with friends and loved ones at our great selection of restaurants and watering holes. No need to travel to crowded shopping areas and malls—we’ve got it all right here, for you! Come join us!

Daniel Bergerac is the President of Castro Merchants and owner of Mudpuppy’s Tub & Scrub.

Chaps

Phantom

Coldwell Banker

Ronald V. Pinto

Crystal Way

Puff 'n Stuff

Eiji

Q Bar

2306 Market Apartments

Fidelity Title

Q-Cuts

A&G Merch

Gateway Financial Advisors

Rolo

Alex Fitness

Ghilotti Bros. Construction

S.F. Gay Men's Chorus

Alternative Mortgage Sources

Law Offices of Roger S. Gross

S.F. Lesbian/Gay Freedom Band

Anchor Oyster Bar

Hi Tops

S.F.P.D. - Mission Station

Bisou

Hot Cookie

Smoke Plus

Blackbird

Johnston Tax Group

Starbelly

Books Inc.

La Mediterranee

Super Duper

Brand X Antiques

Lesbian/Gay Chorus of S. F.

Sweet Inspiration

Canela

Midnight Sun

Twin Peaks Tavern

Castro Street Chevron

Moby Dick

Urban Eyes Optometry

Castro Street Tailor

Raul Montalvo, DDS

Mark D. McHale - Vanguard Properties

Castro Tarts Café & Bakery

Nice Cuts

Kenneth Wingard

Catarra Real Estate

P O Plus

Wells Fargo Home Mortgage

Catch Restaurant

Pesce

ZGO

castromerchants.com/holidays2014 Designed by Clubcard Printing

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PHOTO BY STEVEN KYLE WELLER

®

Make the Yuletide Gay!

Donna Sachet’s Songs of the Season Benefiting AIDS Emergency Fund Returns for the 22nd Year Donna Sachet: How do we love thee? Let us count the ways. You are overwhelmingly generous, thoughtful, extremely intelligent, elegant… and all of the aforementioned and more shine through your perceptive sense of humor and first-rate performances. Add a cast of singing stars, a beautiful venue and holiday good energy, and the result is Songs of the Season, one of San Francisco’s most festive, memorable December traditions. We are so there!

Room with a sold out show, adding a second night in 2004 and 2005, and a third night in 2006 and 2007. Songs of the Season continued to give audiences the non-traditional musical celebrations they have come to expect, while consistently raising thousands of dollars for the AEF. In 2008, the long rumored closing of The Plush Room became a reality, but Robert Kotonly and Rory Paull welcomed Sachet and her cast to the brand new Rrazz Room at Hotel Nikko. They quickly settled into The Rrazz Room, adding additional instruments to their band, and welcoming Abigail, Kim Kuzma, Paula West, Val Diamond, and others to the cast. Loyal and new sponsors and an ever-enthusiastic audience over 3 nights pushed income up to $30,000 in 2009 and nearly $50,000 in 2010 and 2011. Subsequent years’ shows raised that bar even higher, with one raising close to $70,000!

We should also mention that the event has raised tens of thousands of dollars for AIDS Emergency Fund (AEF) since it began rather humbly in 1993, hosted by Lily’s on Market and Kimo’s on Polk Street. Then it co-starred Mr. Gay San Francisco, Scott Stewart, and featured a lively cast of drag queens.

In 1997, Songs of the Season moved to the Transmission Theatre. Expenses at the time were draining the profits, so ever-resourceful Sachet went back to the drawing board. The shows for the next two years were in the black.

In 2000, Songs of the Season moved to The Plush Room in the York Hotel.

Sachet says that “everything took on a new level of professionalism, including Sharon McNight’s f irst performance with us, the Barefoot Champagne reception, and the first Donna Sachet snow globe collectables. We raised over $16,000 that year and again in 2001.”

This year, San Francisco-based award-winning singer and actress Brenda Reed makes her Songs of the Season debut. She has recorded some red hot techno dance tracks, so we’re curious what she’ll perform at the event. Vicki Shepard is another incredible dance diva and performer who will be at this year’s event. Also confirmed is talented Dan O’Leary, whose version of “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” is one of our all time holiday favorites.

There’s always a fun mystery about the guest list, with names sneaking out here and there, so we look forward to learning more and to, of course, attending this must-see December extravaganza. We hope to see you there!

Songs of the Season celebrated its tenyear anniversary in 2002 at a brand new location for a single night— Ruby Skye on Mason Street. Sachet shares that despite backstage challenges, the comedy, music, and a spectrum of emotions distinguished that year’s show and raised over $20,000 for AEF. After 10 years, burnout, exhaustion, and personal challenges in the lives of many of the key players threatened to end the tradition, but Richard Sablatura stepped in to produce the event with tireless energy and heartfelt commitment. In 2003, the production returned to The Plush

“Songs of the Season,” December 1–3, Sir Francis Drake Hotel, 450 Powell Street, San Francisco. For tickets, please visit: http://www.eventbrite.com/e/donnasachets-22nd-annual-songs-of-the-seasonbenefiting-aef-tickets-14209207121 To purchase the Songs of the Season CD, visit donnasachet.com

Vicki Shepard

Brenda Reed

Dan O’Leary

Brian Kent We are super-excited that AEF's good friend and award-winning recording artist Brian Kent, will be performing at Songs of the Season one night only - Wednesday, December 3rd.

Wednesday's show is almost sold out and you don't want to miss it!

PHOTO BY STEVEN UNDERHILL

Drag Queens on Ice: Glitz & Glamour, Thursday, December 11, 2014, 8:00 PM-9:30 PM, Union Square Ice Rink

Donna and friends at Drag Queens on Ice 2013 BAY T IM ES NOVEM BER 27, 2014

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Make the Yuletide Gay! The MeshugaNutcracker! Returns to SF “New & Improved with Extra Schmaltz!”

The Chanukah musical comedy, The MeshugaNutcracker!, which has played to rave reviews throughout the West Coast, returns to the Bay Area stage this holiday season in anticipation of making its New York City debut in 2015.

The zany, family-friendly, original musical comedy celebrates the history and heroes of Chanukah through eight witty and whimsical stories featuring the silly sensibilities of the folklore of Chelm (the fictional town of fools), underscored by Tchaikovsky’s Nutcracker Suite, re-imagined with an invigorating Klezmer/ Broadway fusion style.

Dancing dreidels, singing sufganiot ( jelly doughnuts), and audience participation, create the perfect recipe for an ideal family holiday event. The show is presented by The National Jewish Theatre Festival, in association with The California Academy for the Creative & Performing Arts and Guggenheim Entertainment Inc. The MeshugaNutcracker! debuted in December 2003, when workshop performances played to packed houses. The production has since traveled to Seattle, WA; Scottsdale, AZ; and Berkeley, Palo Alto, Sacramento, our own San Fr a n c i s c o , S a n Jose, Santa Clara, and Los Angeles.

A nd get this: L at kes ( potato pancakes) and sufganiot (yes, those a for e me nt ion e d

yummy jelly doughnuts, only this time real ones) w ill be available before the show and during intermission. What’s not to like?!

Performances will be held throughout December at t he M a r i ne s’ Memo rial Theatre in San Francisco’s Union Square. The show then travels to the Heritage Theatre in Campbell. For tickets and additional information, please visit: http://themeshuganutcracker.com/index.php?pg=welcom

Kung Pao Kosher Comedy Serves Up Delish Food and Much-Needed Laughs in Its 22nd Year “A goat may have a beard, but that doesn’t make it a rabbi.”

Surely one of the best concepts since the beginning of time is this: Jewish comedy on Christmas in a Chinese restaurant. San Francisco-based comedian Lisa Geduldig came up with the idea after finding herself telling Jewish jokes at The Peking Garden Club in South Hadley, Massachusetts, at what she thought was going to be a comedy club, but it ended up being a Chinese restaurant.

The result was Kung Pao Kosher Comedy, launched in 1993 and still popular as ever. The show’s audience was originally 99% Jewish, but expanded to include Chinese-Jewish couples, interfaith ones, singles, families, gays, straights, those far from home or traveling abroad, and locals seeking an alternative to Christmas.

Since its inception, Kung Pao has catered to over 40,000 attendees, and even had one couple who had been together for 25 years get married after the show by a rabbi they met at their table.

The list of comics who have performed at Kung Pao over the years

Lisa Geduldig 6

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Ophira Eisenberg

is truly jaw-dropping: the king of one-liners Henny Youngman, Shelley Berman, David Brenner, Elayne Boosler, Jeffrey Ross, Carol Leifer, Cathy Ladman, Wendy Liebman, Judy Gold and on and on.

The show features a 7-course dinner, with one “kosher” shrimp dish blessed by a very reform rabbi. Vegetarian dim sum is served at the Cocktail Show.

Geduldig asks that no one bring a rooster, given that someone actually did one year, introducing “Vern” the rooster as an emotional support animal.

We can’t leave out the fortune cookies, with Yiddish proverbs like: “With one tuchus, you can’t dance at two weddings,” and

Jeremy Hotz

Over the past 20 years, Kung Pao has raised thousands of dollars a n d aw a r e n e s s for dif ferent org a n i zat ions. I n keeping with the Jewish tradition of tzedakah (charity, in Hebrew—tied in with a sense of dut y and social r e s p o n s i b i l it y) , this year’s shows are no exception.

Proceeds will help to fund San Francisco Suicide Prevention and the Jew ish Family & Children’s Services’ Food Programs.

Featured performers this year include Jeremy Hotz, who was recently voted “Best Male Stand Up” in Canada; comedian and writer Ophira Eisenberg, who hosts NPR’s Ask Me Another; 14-year-old Simon Cadel, whose material is smart, observational and high energy; and Geduldig herself, who also serves as MC. Shows are on December 24, December 25 and December 26 at the New Asia Restaurant, 772 Pacific Ave. (between Grant & Stockton), San Francisco.

To learn more and to purchase tickets, please go to http://www.koshercomedy.com/

THE RICHMOND/ERMET AIDS FOUNDATION PROUDLY PRESENTS

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Make the Yuletide Gay!

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Welcome to the Tom and Jerry Christmas Tree!

DECEMBER 8

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✵ ✵ KINKY BOOTS ✵

MARINES MEMORIAL THEATRE

FEATURING: The Broadway Touring Cast of

PHOTO BY DAVID HEMPLING

AND SPECIAL GUESTS

Broadway star

DAVIS GAINES

American Idol, B’ star

LA TOYA LONDON

Broadway/TV star

JAI RODRIGUEZ

TV/Cabaret star

JASON BROCK

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Underwriter After Party at Hotel Adagio

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550 Geary Street, S.F. Sponsored by Celebrity Cruises

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SPONSORED BY:

PHOTO SOURCE: MISSIONLOCAL.COM

PHOTO BY PERETZ PARTENSKY

PHOTO COURTESY OF TOM AND JERRY

✵ Tickets & Info at www.helpisontheway.org or 415.273.1620

PHOTO SOURCE: MISSIONLOCAL.COM

Happy Holidays from Tom and Jerry!

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✵ Just...who Beyou want to be!

We present our Tom and Jerry Christmas Tree, which has been an annual, ongoing tradition for the past 30 years. The yearly Christmas Display should be ready for viewing and enjoying by December 10, and will continue through January 1, 2015. Before the 24th of December, Santa Claus will be receiving all before the tree from 6:30 to 9:30pm for Christmas wishes and photos.

Everyone is encouraged to bring family and friends to the tree.

We request no honking of horns in consideration of our neighbors, and that you park either at the top or bottom of the hill for easy access and time to enjoy the tree. “Making Christmas,” a documentary featured at the Frameline Film Festival, is available for purchase at the Tree, or by accessing the Diversity Foundation of San Francisco website, http:// diversitysf.org/

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By Tom Taylor and Jerome Goldstein

The tree is a 65-foot Norfolk Island pine that lives all year round at 3650 21st Street, but is proudly decorated for the holidays for all to enjoy.

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The San Francisco Bay Times wishes you and yours a very happy Holiday Season and Happy New Year 2015!

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Considering Health Care Costs in Retirement costs and finances are all intertwined, Ameriprise Financial recently released the Health, Wealth and Retirement study. Here are five key findings from the study, along with some tips to help you manage future medical costs:

Money Matters Brandon Miller and Joanne Jordan With all the uncertainties of the future, it’s difficult for people to know exactly how much to save for retirement. While it may be relatively easy to gauge how much you’ll need for everyday living expenses like food and housing, other expenses such as the costs for health care can be a lot more difficult to estimate.

PHOTO BY STEVEN UNDERHILL

San Francisco Giants mascot Lou Seal welcomed guests to the Castro Theatre for a viewing of the official Giants World Champions 2014 DVD. The World Series trophy was on display!

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According to projections from the Employee Benef it Research Institute, a baby boomer couple retiring in 2020 will need an average of $227,000 to cover medical expenses.

You can hope your costs will be on the lower side of that figure, but there’s really no way to predict the amount of medical care you’ll need as you age— or the price tag that will go with it.

To help people better understand how their future health status, health care

1. Most baby boomers have yet to take financial action to prepare for health care and potential long-term care costs in retirement. You can take some comfort in knowing you’re not alone if you haven’t put a plan in place to manage your future health care costs. But, because these costs can be so significant, the sooner you take action, the better off you’ll likely be.

about your health coverage options in retirement, including supplemental plans that can help offset large and unexpected expenses in exchange for monthly premiums.

4. Those who have taken action to prepare for health care coverage in retirement experience positive emotions, while those who have not experience worry, anxiety and insecurity. Do your best to reduce the amount of worry and stress in your life by taking steps to plan and save for your health care expenses in retirement.

2. The majorit y of boomers see the connection between health and potentially reduced health care costs in retirement. While many health events are unpredictable, you can control some aspects of your future state of health. One way to offset your need for medicines or surgeries is to take care of yourself now—by eating right and getting sufficient exercise and rest.

5. A majority (62%) of those preparing for retirement plan to consult their financial advisors about how to afford future health care costs. This fact reveals that this is a task that requires a second opinion. With the help of a qualified financial advisor, you can explore strategies for managing future health care costs in the context of a larger plan that considers all of your wants and needs in retirement.

3. 1 in 4 baby boomers have experienced a serious health condition; 54% say it had a financial impact. This insight reinforces the vital importance of an emergency health care fund and the value of a comprehensive medical plan. Your task is then to learn

Brandon Miller, CFP and Joanne Jordan, CFP are financial consultants at Brio Financial Group, A Private Wealth Advisory Practice of Ameriprise Financial Inc. in San Francisco, specializing in helping LGBT individuals and families plan and achieve their financial goals.

The San Francisco Bay Times congratulates Brio’s Joanne Jordan on her impressive career and years of dedication to her clients, friends and community.

Round About - GGBA Reception

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The Golden Gate Business Association’s 40th Anniversary Grand Reception, held at the San Francisco Opera House on Saturday, November 15, was truly a grand affair. GGBA officers Robb Fleisher, president, and Dawn Ackerman, vice president, were among the speakers, along with Mayor Ed Lee, Supervisor Scott Wiener, Mary Huss of the San Francisco Business Times and others. Numerous past presidents attended, including Rick Stokes who was the very first president when the organization was founded in 1974.

The SF Bay Times exclusive pullout section, October 30, 2014 edition, was presented to the organization in a framed display and copies were distributed throughout the evening.

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Democracy at City College, A Hell of a Campaign, President Tang, and Battles Ahead

Knotty Pine, Meet Ray Eames!

NORTH TAHOE Townhome, 4 Bedrooms, 2 Baths, Sleeps 9

PHOTO BY RINK

volunteers he inspired. Campos gave a voice to all those being left behind by San Francisco’s latest gold rush.

Check out this rental at: www.vacationrentals.com/listing/p7116764

It's Ski Season!!

A San Francisco Kind of Democrat Rafael Mandelman Congratulations to my newly elected colleagues on the City College Board of Trustees. Newcomers Amy Bacharach, Brigitte Davila and Thea Selby joined veteran member John Rizzo in winning seats, giving the Board a majority of members elected after the current accreditation crisis began back in 2012.

Happily, and perhaps partly in recognition of the changes in the make-up of the Board, the State Chancellor of Community Colleges has put out a plan for the gradual restoration of local control to City College. The plan is intentionally vague, reserving significant

SF Bay Times columnist Rafael Mandelman, co-chair of the SF LGBT Community Center Board of Directors, with philanthropist and founding board member Jody Cole at The Center’s 2014 Bold Awards

(in my view, excessive) discretion to the State Chancellor and Special Trustee in determining the pace at which the Trustees will assume responsibility for the College, but it now seems quite possible that I and the other Trustees may be back in charge within the next year.

A few words about David Campos: the man ran a hell of a campaign. And let’s be honest: running against a betterknown, better-funded candidate who started the race with a double-digit lead in the polls, the odds of his winning were always long. That Campos ended up as close to Chiu as he did is testament to the dedication and hard work of the candidate himself and the hundreds of

Round About - Lavender Seniors 20th Anniversary Celebration Photos by Sandy Morris A large crowd of participants gathered at the North Oakland Senior Center for the Lavender Seniors of the East Bay’s 20th Anniversary Celebration.

Attendees enjoyed tarot readings, I-Ching, numerology, puzzle solving, line dancing and a photo booth. Entertainment included performances by Voices Lesbians A Cappella Choir for Justice, Oakland East Bay Gay Men’s Chorus and Mary Watkins with Debra Paschke.

Say “The Bay Times sent me!”

Margaret Galvin, Showroom Manager at Ergo Depot Design Studio at 245 Kansas Street, SF, demonstrates how thoughtful design and tech can improve our health and work. She’s in front of the ESI Edge-Combo monitor arm system. Galvin says, “It elevates both my laptop and my monitor. Having my monitor off the desk at eye level helps to relieve neck, shoulder and eye strain.”

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try the world's happiest chair only at

And he raised an astounding amount of money—nearly a million dollars, vastly more than any other progressive candidate has raised for any race in this City—to make sure that voice was heard throughout Assembly District 17.

Winning, of course, would have been better, but at least he gave the other guy a real run for his money (well, Ron Conway’s money). Congratulations David Campos, and thank you.

The spillover effects of Chiu’s win have already been felt on the Board of Supervisors, where District 4 Supervisor Katy Tang was selected by her colleagues to serve out the remainder of Chiu’s term as Board President. San Franciscans could be forgiven for asking: “Katy who?” One of the less limelight-seeking of the Supervisors, one wonders if her relatively low profile may have helped ensure her selection, as ambitious colleagues unable to corral the necessary five additional votes voted for Tang in the hope that they would have another crack at the position when the next Board term begins in January.

One thing we do know about the Tang selection: she is by far the most conservative president the Board has had in decades, showing how very far rightward our City Hall has drifted from the days when the top spot on the body was occupied by the likes of Tom Ammiano, Matt Gonzalez and Aaron Peskin.

Chiu’s election to the Assembly also gives the Mayor the opportunity to appoint a successor to fill his soon-tobe vacant District 3 Supervisor seat.

Conventional wisdom had been that he would likely appoint Planning Commission President Cindy Wu. I have known Cindy for years and think she could be a great Supervisor. Unfortunately, word is that some of the Mayor’s more conservative supporters have weighed in against her appointment. Meanwhile, longtime progressive activist Jon Golinger (who managed both the 2013 and 2014 No Wall on the Waterfront Campaigns) has let it be known that he will be running no matter whom the Mayor appoints.

Stay tuned.

The news that State Senator Mark Leno is considering challenging incumbent Mayor Ed Lee for his job in November 2015 has stirred excitement among both Lee-haters and Leno-lovers, not always the same people. For that reason, if Leno does run, his campaign is likely to include some unlikely bedfellows. He will surely be supported by his good friend Scott Wiener, along with other longtime Leno-supporters who have no special love for San Francisco’s Left. At the same time, his campaign will also need, and at the moment looks likely to have, the support of many progressives desperate for change at City Hall, many of whom have never supported Leno in a competitive race, by the way.

How these two camps will manage to co-exist under one big Team Leno tent will be one of the campaign’s challenges if Leno does, in fact, run. Of course, it is Leno’s very ability to draw on a base of support that extends across San Francisco’s political spectrum that makes him such a strong potential challenge to the Mayor. Clearly, he’s not John Avalos, Tom Ammiano or Matt Gonzalez. But he may be more likely than any of them to get past fifty percent, and he just might make a very fine Mayor indeed.

That’s all I got for now. Happy Tofurkey Day One and All!

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Rafael Mandelman was elected to the San Francisco Community College Board of Trustees in 2012. He is a partner at Burke, Williams & Sorensen, LLP.

Seniors, Caregiving and the Holiday Blues Reminders of past losses Many seniors have outlived a number of their cherished friends and family members, and these losses often take on greater signif icance during the holidays.

The contrast between then and now

Aging in Community Doris Bersing, Ph.D. At its best, the holiday season should be a time of happiness and joy, of being nestled in the loving bosom of family and friends. It is a wonderful picture, but the holiday season is fraught with stress for most folks. Expectations of a “perfect” holiday, fed by advertising and media coverage, can contribute to depression for those who don’t feel their holiday is measuring up. The truth is that for many seniors and their caregivers, the rosy picture is a far cry from reality.

Many people suffer from “holiday blues,” even without the stress of caregiving. For many elders, feelings of sadness, loneliness, and isolation are their holiday companions. The season can be an especially hard time for people away from family and/or who are living alone. This is also especially true for many elders in the LGBT community who have lost their partners, have been ostracized from their family, and find themselves alone and/or dependent on close friends who have become their caregivers. Add holiday season frenzy to the mix, and it’s not hard to see how the blues can emerge.

There are many inf luencing factors that can contribute to seniors being at particular risk of suffering from the “holiday blues” including:

For many older people, the memories of holidays past so outshine present day celebrations that they feel unable to focus on, or experience, pleasure in the “now.”

Unrealistic expectations The holidays can bring a host of expectations, such as family togetherness, festive events, and feelings of expanded happiness. Reality too often falls short of these expectations, which can cause an individual to plummet to new lows of sadness, feelings of loneliness and despair.

Coping with failing health The holidays can often serve to underscore the limitations failing health imposes on the ability to participate in once-enjoyed activities.

Home for the holidays For many LGBT individuals, old and young alike, the holidays mean waking up in their own homes feeling isolated because they’re not welcome home for the holidays, or they live at a great distance from friends and family and spend much, if not all, of the holidays alone.

To these real risk factors that can cause the holiday blues for our elders, we add the significant obligations of caregiving and the sometimes unrealistic expectations for a “perfect” holiday. Together, these factors can lead to a formula for disaster. For those in the “sandwich” generation, there is an

extra factor to create stress during the holidays, since many caregivers are responsible for elders and children at the same time. How can elders and their caregivers cope with the demands of creating a nice holiday environment for their loved ones and stay true to themselves?

The following strategies can be useful in helping to get around potential sources of the holiday blues for elders and for caregivers as well: Adjust your expectations- For example, if you think the perfect family get-together won’t be a part of this year’s holidays, keeping this realistic assumption in mind can help you avoid frustration when and if something should go wrong or be less than desirable when your family gets together. Set reasonable and manageable limits for yourself.

Limit predictable sources of stress- If you feel the annual trappings of shopping, decorating, cooking, and attending social events risks becoming overwhelming and stressful, limit the number of activities to which you commit. Remember, caregiving is not off for holidays.

Avoid overstimulation- If you’re a caregiver and are already stressed during the holidays, do not add insult to injury; avoid overly stimulating environments which can increase the (continued on page 26)

EQUALITY = HEALTHY We all bring something unique to the world, something for which we are proud.

For the 5th year in a row, Kaiser Permanente has been recognized as a leader in health care equality for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender populations in the Healthcare Equality Index 2014 report.

kp.org/thrive

Dr. Marcy Adelman oversees the Aging in Community column. For her summary of current LGBT senior challenges and opportunities, please go to: sf baytimes.com/ challenges-and-opportunties

Two from Mitsubishi Pack Plenty Into A Very Parkable Footprint

Auto Philip Ruth As we LGBTs fight for visibility in the mainstream, so too does Mitsubishi continue its fight to pull itself out of the margins. It has been selling cars in the US since 1983—and it supplied Chrysler with Dodge Colts and pickups for years before that—but it still isn’t seen by many.

I recently drove two of Mitsu’s smallest cars, the iMiEV and Mirage, and I found them well-suited for driving in San Francisco. The iMiEV is all-electric, and the Mirage is gas-powered with a three-cylinder engine. Both are four-door hatchbacks that are less than 150 inches long, and so they pack a lot of versatility into a very parkable footprint, with uncommonly tight turning radiuses.

Affordability is key; the i-MiEV is the cheapest electric car in the U.S. at a $23K starting price, which shrinks further once the tax incentives kick in. The base Mirage is just $13K with the five-speed manual transmission.

2015 Mitsubishi Mirage

2015 Mitsubishi i-MiEV

Step up to the $14K version with a CVT—yep, the automatic gets better mileage than the stick—and you’d have the most fuel-efficient gas-powered car sold here, with a whopping 44 mpg highway rating. These two have the numbers covered.

celerator up over the Grapevine. A guttural growl filled the passenger compartment as the hamsters under the hood ran for their lives.

So why aren’t we seeing Mitsus with the frequency of facial hair at Folsom?

Well, the i-MiEV and Mirage are loud and proud in their own ways, and they require some adjustment for the uninitiated to become comfortable with them.

I ended up flooring it a lot in the Mirage, but as noisy as it was, it felt sturdy enough to pump along at redline all (continued on page 26)

* *

With the i-MiEV, it’s the styling that steps out: few are inclined to drive a car that looks like a surprised insect.

It all serves a purpose; the taller proportions open up lots of room inside, but the i-MiEV requires toleration of a style you’ve not seen before.

Limited range is also a factor. Mitsubishi claims 66 miles, but San Francisco’s hills made it about half of that. It is also slow to charge, needing 12 hours on a standard plug.

On the other hand, the Mirage can be gassed up anywhere, and Mitsubishi bravely let me drive this city car to Los Angeles as I covered the L.A. Auto Show. Regarding loud and proud, the Mirage’s three cylinders were very much the former as I floored the acBAY T IM ES NOVEM BER 27, 2014

11

Science and Thanksgiving can be lonely, depressing and impoverished,” he writes. “Gratitude enriches human life. It elevates, energizes, inspires and transforms. People are moved, opened and humbled through expressions of gratitude.”

Roland Schembari and Bill Hartman Co-Founders in 1978 Kim Corsaro Publisher 1981-2011

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Tom Moon, MFT Since 1863 in the United States, we’ve set aside an annual Day of Thanksgiving to share our collective gratitude for the abundance in our lives.

It’s now largely a festival of greed and excess, but this time of year may still be an auspicious time to think about the benefits of cultivating “an attitude of gratitude.”

The importance of gratitude has been understood for millennia by all of the world’s great spiritual traditions, but it only became the focus of empirical research at the beginning of this century. Dr. Robert Emmons, a U.C. professor of psychology, has spent much of his professional life researching gratitude. He describes what he’s discovered in his book Thanks! How The New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier. “Without gratitude, life

In a series of studies, he and his colleagues taught people to cultivate gratitude, usually by keeping a “gratitude journal” in which they recorded daily the things for which they were thankful. In these studies, subjects usually only kept gratitude journals for three weeks, and yet, in even that short amount of time, they consistently experienced enormous benefits.

They reported that they exercised more regularly, had fewer physical symptoms, felt better about their lives as a whole, and were more optimistic about their futures than the control subjects who didn’t keep the journals.

In addition, participants who kept journals were more likely to make progress toward important personal goals (academic, interpersonal and health-based) over a two-month period compared to the controls.

Subjects who focused on gratitude reported increased levels of alertness, enthusiasm, determination, attentiveness, vitality and life satisfaction, and lower levels of depression and stress.

Perhaps most importantly, those who felt grateful were more likely to help others and to feel loved themselves.

Apparently, gratitude encouraged a positive cycle of reciprocal kindness among people, because one act based on gratitude encouraged another.

Why is gratitude practice so transformative? Emmons believes that four factors help to answer this question: 1. Gratitude teaches us to celebrate the present. Research on emotion shows that positive emotions wear off quickly, but gratitude increases our appreciation for the good things in our lives; and the more we appreciate the value of something, the more benef its we receive from it. We’re less likely to take the positives in our lives for granted. Instead of taking the good for granted, we celebrate it.

2. Gratitude blocks toxic, negative emotions that destroy happiness, such as envy, resentment, and regret. Recent evidence shows that gratitude can even reduce the frequency and duration of episodes of depression.

we’re grateful, we’re also more aware of a network of relationships, past and present, of people who are responsible for helping us get to where we are right now. And the more we recognize how much we’ve been loved, supported, and protected by others, the more we’re able to internalize the value that they’ve seen in us.

But the practice of gratitude can also challenge some deeply ingrained psychological habits. One of these is “self-serving bias,” which means that when good things happen to us, we tend to assume that it’s solely a result of our own efforts, but when bad things happen, we blame other people or circumstances. Gratitude works against self-serving bias because it involves acknowledging the contributions others have made to our lives.

3. Grateful people are more stress resistant. A number of studies show that, in the face of serious trauma and suffering, people with a grateful disposition recover more quickly. It appears that gratitude gives people a perspective that helps buffer them against post-traumatic stress and chronic anxiety.

Finally, when we’re grateful, we’re less prone to assume that we “deserve” the good things that we receive in our lives.

This contradicts an assumption that is pervasive in our culture: that we’re entitled to all the good fortune that comes our way. When we deserve everything, we don’t feel grateful for anything.

Gratitude helps us to overcome the assumption of entitlement, and opens the way to accept the gifts that come our way with grace and humility.

4. Grateful people have a higher sense of self-worth. That’s because when

Tom Moon is a psychotherapist in San Francisco. His website is tommoon.net

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Distribution

Grumpy Cat from the movie Grumpy Cat’s Worst Christmas Ever is the star of the Macy’s 28th Annual Holiday Windows at Union Square. In conjunction with the SF SPCA, the windows feature pets ready for adoption and serve as a fundraiser to support the year-round lifesaving programs of the organization. Find out more: www.sfspca.org

Creating Harmonious Families Starts with Me cities while I am quite content to be ‘suburban urban.’ They are whom I think of when I hear the word “family.”

Daisaku Ikeda, a Buddhist philosopher and world peace advocate, has submitted peace proposals to the United Nations for decades. An excerpt from the 2001 Peace Proposal reads:

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12

There’s nothing like taking off to sunny Florida at the start of the polar vortex that overtook Cleveland in mid-November. I’d booked my reservation at the Florida Nature and Culture Center months before, so I was ready. For what, I knew not.

When I got there, and found out that the theme of the conference was “Creating Harmonious Families Starts with Me,” I thought, “What does that have to do with me?” After all, my sons are grown men now, living on their own in Los Angeles, Chicago and New York. Clearly they love big

BAY TIMES NOVEMB E R 2 7 , 2 0 1 4

“The family is said to be the oldest form of human community…Nowhere is the impact of the crisis of life, heart and spirit felt more intensely than in the family. Parent-child relations, and family ties in general, differ from other human relations in that they are essentially not of our choosing. They should be recognized as something that issues from the depths of our being, and as such, they represent the most real and vital connections.”

Wow, talk about food for thought!

I was so encouraged to read these words and to ponder on the relationships that I have with people I consider “family of origin” and “family of choice.” Oh, I can experience radiant love and abundant spirit with my family of choice, largely composed of my LGBTQA circles, while the status of my family of origin is a little wob-

blier and even prickly at times. At the conference, I got to feel my heart open with more generosity towards the idea of creating an expanded view of family, yet I was baff led about where to begin.

Duh, Karen. Begin where you are!

I realized that I have to strengthen my resolve and aim for transformation of myself first in order to regard everything as food for growth. How startling, yet refreshing, to have these realizations when I wasn’t looking for them!

With the holiday season right around the corner, we humans once again get to decide how we are going to treat one another, particularly those with whom we share family bonds.

Whatever our families look like, and no matter what the conf igurations are, we can embrace our differences, polish our inner selves, and dig deep inside to bring out compassion, love, warmth, wisdom, and desire for peace and joy for ourselves and others. The truth is that once we change, everything—and everyone, for that matter—around us changes.

Well, I got a lot out of my time at the FNCC, and I look forward to going there again, though I may be more

diligent about checking out the conference themes before I set off. The idyllic setting of 126 acres of protected everglades, along with delicious nourishing meals and warm heartfelt life lessons, added to my spiritual experience. I came away with a heightened awareness that creating my harmonious family does start with me! The loving exchanges with friends and family members since my return home are actual proof that I want to embody what I’ve learned.

I also signed up to serve food again this year to families in need of heart, body and soul food. It’s my honor to be with people who allow me to extend myself beyond the confines of blood relations, and live out my true identity as a child of the universe.

May each and every one of you have wonderful times with your families at the close of this year; and may the coming year grace you with health, happiness, life force, prosperity and wisdom.

Karen Williams is a proud Soka Gakkai Nichiren Buddhist! For more information, go to www.sgi-usa.org

Fortnight in Review

By Ann Rostow Black Like Those Other Guys Let’s see. It’s hard to focus on GLBT news when my mind is filled with Ferguson. It’s not just the fact that cops kill Black men and kids. It’s also the fact that cops kill them for the slightest reason. They thought they saw a gun. They were afraid. Someone was bigger than they were, or acting unpredictably. These officers are supposed to be trained to deal with ambiguous situations without simply shooting someone dead. And yet every time this happens, we find ourselves satisfied with the slightest excuse. Because, it seems, ambiguity is lost when the people involved aren’t white.

They just shot a 12-year-old kid the other day. In cold blood for playing with a fake gun. Hell, you don’t even have to be a cop to get away with killing a Black youth, although I suppose the system draws the line at firing at kids at a gas station because you don’t like their music. Barely.

Why is there no middle ground between f lat out murder and complete exoneration? Why can’t cops be held accountable for rashness, manslaughter, negligence? Why can’t they be fired, fined, sanctioned? And more importantly, how have we allowed race relations to stagnate for decades?

When did the gap between us get so wide? When did the arc of history lose its bend?

Brownback’s the Matter with Kansas OK. Marriage equality. I have a lot of bits and pieces of marriage equality news this week, including a mess out of Kansas, where only certain counties are licensing same-sex marriages even though a federal court struck the state’s antigay amendment and even though Kansas is under the jurisdiction of the pro-equality Tenth Circuit.

I mean really! My wife is Kansan, so I have a stake in the state. At this very moment, I am typing in a pair of Jayhawk blue sweatpants, complete with cartoon Jayhawk mascot. And as you can see, I capitalize Jayhawk, even as my spellcheck advises against it. So what the hell? The bottom line is that Governor Sam Brownback and a handful of conservative politicians are holding back the tide, forcing gay activists to file ever more legal motions in order to whip the entire state into line. Which they will do eventually.

The red state blues continue in our home state of Texas, where our side has f iled a motion asking for the federal courts to lift a stay on a proequality ruling that is now on appeal to the Fifth Circuit. Not sure if that will happen anytime soon, but I like it.

The Texas case is linked to another appeal out of Louisiana, where Lambda Legal has asked the Supreme Court to step in and review one of our few antigay rulings without waiting for the Fifth Circuit to do its thing.

reply. Tick tock tick tock. If these weeks slip by, so will our opportunity to have the High Court settle the issue of marriage equality during its current term.

Happily however, the state of Michigan has hopped on the speed bandwagon, filing its own reply in no time at all. Indeed, Michigan has also urged the High Court to take review, even though the Mitten State is technically the “winner” at the appellate court. Assuming our side zips through its reply to the reply, the Michigan case could easily arrive on the Supreme Court’s agenda in time for the 2014/2015 session. Most analysts say that if the Supreme Court accepts one or more marriage cases at their early January conference, they could calendar the oral arguments for next spring and decide by the end of June.

Or not. Our track record for predicting the next move at the Supreme Court is nothing to brag about.

Moving On Up What other bits and pieces lie on our plate? Well, when all is said and done, marriage is now legal in 35 states (I include Kansas), and we are awaiting a state court ruling out of Arkansas that could make it 36. Missouri might count as a half, since marriages from other locations are recognized if you show them in the Show Me State.

These new arrivals to the promised land are not unexpected. Indeed, they represent states that fall under jurisdictions cleared by the High Court back in early October. But that hasn’t stopped authorities from making desperate attempts to stall, and we’ve seen both the Ninth Circuit and the Supreme Court reject several wishful motions over recent weeks. The only interesting thing about this process is that Justices Scalia and Thomas have twice gone on record in seeming opposition to marriage equality.

That’s not a surprise in itself. These weren’t written statements from the justices, only acknowledgements that the Court was not unanimous in rejecting requests for stays and delays.

But it makes you wonder why Roberts and Alito declined to add their names to the list. Did they vote in favor of gay couples? Or (more likely) did they just decide to keep their cards close to the vest?

Onward Pasta Soldiers Meanwhile, as marriage equality approaches the status of fait accompli, we are preparing for the next battle, a complicated, and probably lengthy national debate over “religious freedom.” And we’re not debating the straight forward accommodation of, let’s say, kosher meals for a Jewish prisoner, or the right to wear a head scarf at work.

Once Again, All Eyes on SCOTUS Anything’s possible, I suppose. But the real suspense now lies in the timing of the High Court. As you know, a few weeks ago, the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Sixth Circuit reversed equality rulings out of Michigan, Ohio, Tennessee and Kentucky.

Since then, our gay rights advocates have snapped into action, filing immediate petitions for review before the justices.

No, in our current constitutional framework, we seem to be debating the right to claim that any behavior is a manifestation of some sacred vow.

As Justice Alito noted in the Hobby Lobby decision (which involved, not the constitution, but federal law) it is not for the courts to presume to judge the legitimacy of a religious belief.

Normally, the other side has several weeks to reply, and then our side would have more time to reply to the

This is why I recently paid $20 to become an ordained minister in the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Mon-

Say what?

Professional Services ster. Funny? Of course. But it’s more than that. The entire religion is contrived to make a serious point about the separation of church and state and the position of faith in the public square. Indeed, a woman in Utah just made headlines for insisting on wearing a pasta strainer in her driver’s license photo. It turns out that Utah doesn’t try to pass judgment on religions and that this woman is one of a dozen others who has donned the Pastafarian symbol for her identity card.

In Florida, a collision of religious displays in the state capitol rotunda is now the subject of legal action. After authorities allowed a crèche, they were also obliged to welcome other symbols of faith, including a Festivus pole made out of beer cans and a Pastafarian presentation that consisted of some holy noodles and a sign on a red plastic office chair. (They are being sued by a Satanic group that apparently strained the tolerance of the local officials with an installation featuring angels falling into a pit of fire.)

Poland has just ruled that Pastafarianism is a legitimate religion.

Absurd? Perhaps. But no more absurd than allowing conservative Christians to insist that providing public accommodation to gay men and women is a violation of faith. No more absurd than allowing a for-profit corporation to pick and choose which secular federal mandates live up to its purported religious standards.

So why shouldn’t Pastafarians be allowed to pray before town hall meetings, celebrate His Noodley Goodness in the public square, or even refuse to serve unsavory customers? Actually, the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster does not discriminate. But what if we did? What if our “faith” demanded it?

The answer is not to diminish the status of minority religions. It is simply to enforce the principle that general laws, enacted for a secular purpose, may incidentally intrude on faith.

And further, to keep the state from getting involved in our spiritual, or non-spiritual, lives to begin with.

J O H N S T O N, K I N N E Y & Z U L A I C A LLP

Icons Behaving Badly So I just read that a famous GBLT activist, Terry Bean, has been nailed for having sex with a 15-year-old kid he found on Grindr. Bean, 66, helped found the HRC and the Task Force, and gave lots of money to lots of good causes. He and his 25-year-old boyfriend were both accused of assault and the reason I’m writing about it is that apparently the GLBT media has been steering clear of this embarrassing revelation.

Yes, it’s all “alleged.” But that’s never stopped me from dragging closeted conservatives through the mud whenever they’re accused of naughty shenanigans. According to the press, it seems that the boyfriend was also blackmailing Bean, who (allegedly) used secret cameras to record himself messing around with other men. All in all, an undignified performance from one and all (allegedly) and depending on the 15-year-old, possibly child molestation to boot.

I must say Bean has nothing on Bill Cosby. I never watched his show, so I never fell under his spell, and in fact, I have long seen him as a pompous ass, lecturing and hectoring African American men for his own selfaggrandizement. In the past several years, his public appearances have included weird ponderous ramblings.

The rape charges are nothing new, and, in fact, it’s a disgrace that they were ignored until the critical mass of (continued on page 26)

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13

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STRIBILD does not cure HIV-1 infection or AIDS. To control HIV-1 infection and decrease HIV-related illnesses you must keep taking STRIBILD. Ask your healthcare provider if you have questions about how to reduce the risk of passing HIV-1 to others. Always practice safer sex and use condoms to lower the chance of sexual contact with body fluids. Never reuse or share needles or other items that have body fluids on them.

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• Worsening of hepatitis B (HBV) infection. If you also have HBV and stop taking STRIBILD, your hepatitis may suddenly get worse.

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How to Find a Great Wedding Officiant

• • •

4. What do you believe is the most important thing about the wedding ceremony? Why?

As a wedding off iciant myself, I know how important it is for couples to find someone whom they trust, are comfortable with, and who has the right experience to match the couple’s needs. The selection of the wedding officiant can help to set the tone for all that’s to come. So if you are in need of such a person now, I recommend that you consider the following tips in this two-part process:

• • •

Part One: Do Your Research 1. Browse the Internet, look at your social media sites, check out officiants’ websites, and contact a few officiants who attract your attention and match your interests. See if you connect with them. Try to talk to them on the phone or Skype, so you can get a feeling for how they look and sound.

2. Ask your friends and work colleagues for recommendations.

3. Get the names of ministers or officiants from friends’ weddings that you especially liked.

4. Check directories that you trust.

The Golden Gate Business Association’s directory can be helpful, for example, and you might also consider checking out comments at Yelp.

5. Look in your trusted newspaper, such as the one you are reading now!

(This is a totally biased and self-serving piece of advice from this writer, of course, but it serves you too. You really can’t go wrong if you do.).

6. Ask someone you know, love and admire. Ask them to get a certificate to marry you from the Universal Life Church online!

5. Do you guide couples in choosing what elements they might want in the ceremony?

6. How much creative input do your couples have in putting together the ceremony?

Weddings Reverend Elizabeth River 7. Ask for referrals from your chosen photographer, DJ, caterer, florist, or venue owner/manager.

Number one on this list really is the expected first step. Most of us all go to the Internet to check people and things out. Just take care to factor in the human component. Your wedding is so important that you want to be sure you feel right about the person who is to marry you. So, let’s move on to Part Two. Part Two: Interview Officiants Here are some questions that you might ask during the interviews: 1. What is your experience? How many weddings have you done?

2. What do you love about doing weddings? What calls you to this ministry? Why is marriage important and meaningful?

3. Do you get to know the couple before creating a ceremony? How do you do that?

7. What is most important for you to know about the couple you’re marrying?

8. Do you require or recommend that we have pre-marital counseling?

9. Can we meet in person with you (for the ones you feel drawn to) before we decide whether to hire you?

10. What is your fee? Do you offer several choices of ceremony with different fees, for example, a customized wedding vs. a simple noncustomized wedding?

You will no doubt have other questions you want to ask. Do ask! While the fee for the officiant may be the lowest of your wedding expenses— compared to catering, photography, music, and the like—the ceremony itself, although short in duration, is the most important piece in the whole event. Whom you choose for this needs to be exactly the right person.

My blessings to you in your wedding and in your married life for all time.

Reverend Elizabeth River is an ordained Interfaith Minister based in the North Bay. For more information, please visit marincoastweddings.com

Transgender Awareness: All the Days

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We recently observed Transgender Awareness Week (November 14– 20), but being trans aware should not just be limited to a single week.

We therefore are devoting our column now to the story of the love and marriage of two transgender people, as told by one of their mothers, Marriage Equality USA activist Georgia Springer. We found their story to be very moving, and hope you do too.

In Georgia’s words: A few weeks ago, our family celebrated our son’s f ifth wedding anniversary. We remembered the beautiful fall day in 2009 in North Carolina when Nykolas and Mateo married. Surrounded by many family and friends, they spoke their vows before our family minister. Husband and husband, they joined hands, wrapped in a traditional cloth symbolizing the weaving together of their lives into one.

Their wedding invitations, cake, guest book and vows contained the phrase: “ALL THE DAYS.” To observers in the park, this appeared to be a typical wedding, albeit with two men. For our family, though, it was the beautifully amazing culmination of a long, painful, extraordinary journey.

Looking back, I marvel at Nyk and Mateo’s courage and commitment that day. At that time, marriage between two men wasn’t legal in North Carolina, a Southern state with both liberal and conservative traditions (and later home of the 2012 fight over Amendment One banning marriage equality). But their lives thus far had prepared them with resolve and dedication.

As transgender men, they’d developed the strength over many years

parent, I see Nyk and Mateo’s lives defined, not by money or worldly success, but by two huge accomplishments that many never achieve.

Marriage Equality John Lewis and Stuart Gaffney, Marriage Equality USA to build authentic lives. After years of internal struggle, Nyk had begun his transition in 2003, meeting and forming a friendship of mutual support with Mateo, who also began transitioning soon after. Their relationship blossomed through a wealth of common interests, including love of family, animals, cooking, and popular culture.

First, they lived completely in the decision to be authentic to their true selves, never easy, but always done with passion and immense courage. Their second success was their incredibly devoted and loving marriage. I’ve lost count of the times people said to me, “Nyk and Mateo are the happiest couple I know.” Nyk and Mateo had a deep belief in the institution of marriage and were passionate about honoring their own relationship through marriage. For them, marriage was about a companion along life’s path together through joy, beauty, pain, laughter and sorrow... all of which they had in abundance.

Less visible were the enormous financial, emotional, medical, legal and practical difficulties of transitioning and living as transgender men. What sustained and centered them was their incredible bond with each other. In time, they decided their personal commitment, even if not recognized by the state, needed the public, formal recognition their 2009 wedding bestowed.

They lived, devoted to one another and closely connected with our family, for four more years.

They were role models for my husband and me, for our family, and for so many others. Their lives, and especially marriage, have given each of us strength and passion to live fully in our beliefs, wherever that may lead. They inspired our family’s longtime participation in PFLAG, our hours phone banking against Amendment One, a cousin’s fundraising for marriage equality, an aunt’s marriage equality conversation within her church, and my work for Marriage Equality USA. In that, and so much else, Nyk and Mateo’s lives and memory will be with us for ALL THE DAYS.

In January, 2014, Nyk and Mateo died accidentally, bringing heartbreak to our family and their many friends. In a twist of fate, they were not alive to see marriage equality come to NC ten months later on October 10, 2014. In retrospect, as a

John Lewis and Stuart Gaffney, together for nearly three decades, were plaintiffs in the California case for equal marriage rights decided by the California Supreme Court in 2008. They are leaders in the nationwide grassroots organization Marriage Equality USA.

BAY T IM ES NOVEM BER 27, 2014

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Recognize Resistance for What It Really Is ARIES (March 21–April 19) Organize your assets, Aries.

Recent events reveal where you must tighten the reigns on important investments, particularly those that involve other people’s property. Your balance sheet beckons you now.

Astrology Gypsy Love In his bestselling novel The War of Art, Steven Pressfield defines Resistance (with a capital R) as “an energy field radiating from a work-in-potential.” Resistance wears the faces of fear, panic, procrastination, and doubt. The more important an activity is to our soul’s evolution, the more Resistance we’ll feel. Cosmically, we’re called to move forward with fulfilling our sacred birthright. Recognize Resistance for what it really is—an indication that you’re heading toward a higher vibration of yourself.

TAURUS (April 20–May 20) Turn the page, Taurus.

Subconscious awakenings have sparked a series of shifts within your spiritual core.

Newfound desires deserve more attention now. Surrender to your truth.

GEMINI (May 21–June 20) Be well, Gemini. The planets present new ways to put more pep in your step now. Turn to close friends and neighbors for support. Shine from the inside out.

CANCER (June 21–July 22) Brace yourself, Cancer.

Exciting opportunities are flying with full force into your career

sector now. The stars help you to see more clearly and to soar past obstacles. Don’t just survive...

Thrive!

LEO (July 23–August 22) Life is neither black, nor white. In fact, Leo, celestial trends suggest that you’re about experience its full spectrum of vibrant colors. Drink them in, and draw your own conclusions.

VIRGO (August 23– September 22) Go mental, Virgo. As the landscape around you continues to transform, find faith and fortitude in your bright ideas. “Mind over matter” is a fitting mantra for you now.

LIBRA (September 23– October 22) You’re no stranger to indecision.

And that’s quite all right, Libra.

As you weigh current financial

options, the cosmos condones taking your time. A thorough analysis will help ensure lasting value.

SCORPIO (October 23– November 21)Shape up, Scorpio. It’s time to strip down to your solar skivvies and get real. By removing superficial masks, you’ll renew the connection to your sweet center.

SAGITTARIUS (November 22–December 21) Get your swagger on, Sagittarius!

Astral beams spotlight your sense of self worth now. Unique partners and bizarre encounters could help uncover creative qualities that beg to bloom.

AQUARIUS (January 20– February 18) Work the room, Aquarius! Cosmic currents serve to stimulate your social life now. Insights from close acquaintances could catalyze new ways of communicating with your tribe.

Express yourself.

PISCES (February 19–March 20) Think globally, Pisces.

Foreign philosophies pique your interest now. You won’t need a passport to embark on this trip.

Practical tools for higher learning are surprisingly close at hand.

CAPRICORN (December 22–January 19) The Universe is helping you unhinge from habits that have been hardwired by convention and family conditioning. Come out of your shell, Capricorn. A new you is dawning.

Gypsy Love Productions is dedicated to inspiring love and unity with music, dance, and astrology. www.GypsyLoveProductions.com

Cirque du Soleil’s Kurios Cabinet of Curiosities is playing now through January 18, under the Big Top at AT&T Park in San Francisco.

Photos by Steven Underhill

stevenunderhill.com

Steven Underhill

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BAY TIMES NOVEMB E R 2 7 , 2 0 1 4

#KateClinton2014 Got my Thanksgiving “Too Full to F**k” t-shirt on! That night, there are no tops or bottoms, only sides.

Arts & Entertainment

Kinky Boots Will Lift Your Spirits to New High-heeled Heights

The book is by Harvey Fierstein— hello! We adore you, Harvey, and thank you for Torch Song Trilog y and so many other memorable films, shows and other productions. Kinky Boots is directed and choreographed by openly gay Jerry Mitchell, who has the Midas touch in creating blockbuster musicals.

And speaking of music, all of the songs for the show were created by Cyndi Lauper, who penned such phrases as: “Synergy my pets, in patent leatherettes.” Cyndi’s sister in real life is a lesbian, and the pop star has donated mega bucks, as well as her

time and energy, to LGBT causes over the years. San Francisco Bay Times publisher Dr. Betty Sullivan will never forget Lauper’s fabulous “True Colors” tour, during which “Lauper rolled from tear-jerkers to a hit masturbation song to all out camp,” she says. “It was a killer show!”

As for Kinky Boots’ plot, Billy Porter, who created the show’s lead role on Broadway, told the Huffington Post: “It’s a bromance between two men with daddy issues, one of whom just happens to wear a dress.” In more detail, it’s about a straight guy named Charlie who inherits a shoe factory on the verge of bankruptcy. Now, that’s a problem. And how likely is it there’s a drag queen (“Lola”) working at the shoe factory? What’s more, how likely is it that the straight guy is going to pay any attention at all to what the drag queen has to say?

So goes the situation, and Lauper and Fierstein take it to the queerest

heights. The unlikely friendship that evolves between Charlie and Lola is what makes this play work. Charlie embraces Lola’s idea to retool the shoe factory to make women’s boots for men. In making that bold decision, Charlie embraces the wisdom of accepting others for who they really are and sets Lola free to be Lola, thereby winning the day.

But that’s only getting to the surface of this life-affirming show, which has already won six Tony Awards, including Best Musical. It will lift your spirits to new high-heeled heights!

But you need to act fast, as we’ve been told that tickets are selling faster than pumps at a Manolo Blahnik clearance sale.

The show runs from December 2–28 at the Orpheum Theatre, 1192 Market Street in San Francisco. For tickets and additional info, please go to: www.shnsf.com

PHOTO BY MATTHEW MURPHY

Drag queens are no strangers to musicals (think La Cage aux Folles and Priscilla, Queen of the Desert), and the incredibly popular Kinky Boots proves their lasting power on Broadway. As one exhilarating song from the show goes, we are saying “Yeah!” to this new high-heeled hit that sports an incredibly impressive queer pedigree.

PHOTO BY MATTHEW MURPHY

Kyle Taylor Parker, Steven Booth

PHOTO BY MATTHEW MURPHY

Kyle Taylor Parker

PHOTO BY MATTHEW MURPHY

Kinky Boots Tour

BAY T IM ES NOVEM BER 27, 2014

21

Four Moons Poignantly Addresses Affection and Rejection Among 4 Gay Men That couldn’t have been easy to film!

Cesar Ramos: Imagine reading that scene! I was like, Oh, my God! How are we going to shoot that!? There’s no way to get ready. I just found the balls to do it, and I’m proud of it. I love the scene and I’m glad I did it.

Film Gary Kramer Four Moons is writer-director Sergio Tovar Velarde’s poignant drama about a quartet of gay men grappling with affection and rejection. The film, out on DVD December 2, tells four stories that feature gay men at different stages in life.

Gary M. Kramer: The film plays with various aspects of masculinity, from sissy boys to effeminate men, to guys who aren’t gay (but are paid to be) to Leo who wants to stay closeted. What do you think about the characters and how they are developed?

The most touching storyline features Fito (Cesar Ramos) and Leo (Gustavo Egelhaaf ), two friends who reunite and become lovers, only to have a conflict arise when Leo wants to remain closeted and keep their relationship secret.

the same feelings—of being unloved or unimportant or humiliated—but in different situations. It’s not an alien feeling to me, so I can relate to that.

The conflict Fito has with his mother is something many young people experience. I just worked to make the emotions honest.

Gary M. Kramer: What about Fito’s relationship w ith his mother? The scene where Fito is heartbroken and she comforts him is the most moving scene in the film.

Cesar Ramos: I was embraced by Monica, the actress who played my character’s mom. Every scene we did together was strong. When we shot the scene, I was charged with emotion, and Monica had the right energy.

She was very giving, and then it just flowed. We had an intimate moment.

She made me feel protected, and we took the wave and rode it. It’s powerful, because she’s made a decision to be there for her son and support and accept him.

Gary M. Kramer: Fito and his mother bond watching telenovelas together. Do you like or watch telenovelas?

Ramos, who is straight, gives an incredibly moving performance in the film as a gay man coming to terms with his same-sex desires. He spoke with me for the San Francisco Bay Times via Skype about making Four Moons.

Gary M. Kramer: How did you get involved in this film?

Cesar Ramos: I met Sergio, the director, at a film festival and developed a friendship. He said he’d like to cast me in his new movie. Was he flirting?

Was it a joke? I said OK, let me know.

When Sergio started his production, he handed me the script and asked me to do the role of Fito. It was quite risky.

I liked the script and the story, and he convinced me of his vision.

Cesar Ramos: In the case of the characters of Fito and Leo, we had to work together on the various stages of emotions. It was convenient that Gustavo and I have known each other for ten years. This was his first film. We used our friendship to tell the story and become involved in the characters. We wanted to provide the audience with a love story.

Gary M. Kramer: You have a pretty graphic sex scene where Fito and Leo are trying to have anal sex for the first time. It’s awkward and funny and sexy.

Gary M. Kramer: How did you work on telling the arc of Fito’s story?

Cesar Ramos: He has very human emotions. We’ve all been through

Cesar Ramos: Not at all. I did watch them as a kid with my mom. I didn’t go back to them until I wanted to be an actor, and then I saw what the guys did. I did one for teenagers. I tried to do one [later] and it didn’t work out.

When I started in the business, I was repulsed by those projects. They are quick, and not as enjoyable as work on a movie. I respect the actors of Mexican telenovelas; it’s a whole genre. It’s just not my genre.

Gary M. Kramer: Leo and Fito have dinner one day. Leo asks Fito what kind of music he likes.

What books do you like to read?

What would you answer as César to those questions if you were on a date? (continued on page 26)

Creation=Surprises that’s left of it is a potion for longevity given to the protagonist by her mother, and, in me, an enduring love of the fantastic.

Words Michele Karlsberg Michele Karlsberg: What was one of t he most sur pr ising things you learned in creating your book?

Jess Wells: What surprised me about my last book: a re-emerging love of the fantastical. My latest book, A Slender Tether, is set in France in the 1300s. It’s three ‘tales’: a fictobiographical novella of the brilliant intellectual Christine de Pizan, as a study of ambition and disillusionment; a novella of entirely fictional characters grappling with identity, freedom and visibility set in a paper mill (that still exists and that I visited); and a short story in between, in my mind, like the jam between bread.

What surprised me about this middle story, “The Gong Farmer,” is its whimsy, its fabulist tone, its leaning toward magical realism.

22

BAY TIMES NOVEMB E R 2 7 , 2 0 1 4

There’s something terrifically liberating about writing something that’s fantastic, which lets its toes hang over the cliff of reality. It’s dangerous (Will anyone believe me? How close can I get). It’s surprising and, especially after researching Medieval history, it is just darn fun. It has some of the spontaneity that I think you tend to lose the more you know about the mechanics of writing and the more you focus on the output of your writing ‘career.’ It’s also more of a fable than my writing generally is, and I really enjoyed being overt about the storytelling aspect of the piece.

I’m a huge fan of magical realism; I think Gabriel Garcia Marquez was one of the world’s finest writers ever, and that Jeanette Winterson’s The Passion is great magical realism. In fact, my previous book, The Mandrake Broom, was also set in the Middle Ages, but this time, dramatizing the fight to save medical knowledge during the witch-burning times had originally included more magical realism than survived the editing process. (It’s far more difficult than it seems!) All

Jess Wells is the author of 12 volumes of work, including four novels and four books of short stories, her latest two in historical fiction. She is the winner of a San Francisco Arts Commission Grant for Literature, and a four-time finalist for the Lambda Literary Award.

Alex Woolfson: You can’t get more “niche” than the kind of comics I write and publish—“big budget” action stories with real heroes who just happen to like other guys. Basically, I wanted to create the same highquality escapist adventures straight folks have been able to enjoy for years, something no mainstream publisher would fund. One of the most surprising things I learned creating my graphic novels was how much the Internet has leveled the playing field for LGBT creators.

Before I started, I didn’t know any artists, but using online forums, I found talented pencilers and colorists from around the world, eager to work on these kinds of projects. I posted up my first comic, the science-fiction thriller Artifice, for free on the Web, one page a week—and within a year built an audience of over 7000 readers a day. Using Kickstarter, I then (continued on page 26)

Make Your Bed!

Style Courtney Lake I have always considered the bed a sanctuary; that most intimate of settings where we lose all of our defenses.

It is where you recoup from a long day, reconnect with yourself and find

your center. In my humble opinion, the bed is the single most important piece of furniture in your home, yet people treat it like an afterthought when it comes to dressing it.

table. An air plant added to the vignette was the final touch to a whimsical bedroom update that is vibrant, youthful and, most importantly, packed with color.

Countless times, I have walked into otherwise stunning homes and found the bed swathed in bedding circa the client’s first apartment. Even if you can’t afford a design professional, the secret for giving any bedroom an instant upgrade is to focus on three main items: killer bedding, a fantastic side table and statement art. Following this edict, you can transform a basic white bedroom into a bright and fresh sanctuary ready for afternoon naps and lazy weekends.

Mix it up. Don’t be scared of pattern!

This bed shown here was inspired by the juxtaposition of solids and patterns. Combining patterns may sound scary, but the results are always worth it. A trick was to pair a large-scale patterned pillow with a smaller print and finally a solid. The mixing of patterns resulted in a relaxed look that is upbeat and unexpected.

Let art be your guide. People tend to select artwork last, while I prefer to draw inspiration from a piece. A charcoal drawing, for example, was a f ind from a local auction. When simply matted, it created a dynamic focal point above the bed.

With this visual anchor cast, we pulled the coral from the drawing and used it in our bedding from local company Crane & Canopy.

Find your design balance. Since the bedding and artwork are such strong statements in the space, let the bedside table take a backseat. The clean, crisp lines and masculine feel of a white steel and birch wood nesting table were the perfect foil to the bedding. Lighting in the form of a glass and wood mushroom lamp, and a colorful punch from a vintage vase, finished off the

Sister Dana Sez: Words of Wisdumb from a Fun Nun

By Sister Dana Van Iquity Sister Dana sez, “This Thanksgiving, I’d like to give thanks that I’m gay. Yes, I am thankful to God I’m gay. TGIG: Thank God I’m Gay! In fact, I’d like to change the entire name of the holiday to ThanksGAYing!”

GOLDEN GATE BUSINESS ASSOCIATION held its 40TH A N N I V E R S A RY GRAND RECEPTION at the San Francisco War Memorial Opera House in honor of LGBTQ entrepreneurs and four decades of being the nation’s first LGBT Chamber of Commerce. With members who live and do business across San Francisco, Alameda, Contra Costa, San Mateo, Marin counties, and beyond, GGBA proudly serves as the voice for the San Francisco Bay Area’s LGBTQ business community. Their mission is to champion opportunity, development, and advocacy for the LGBTQ & allied business community. We celebrated the GGBA’s accomplishments over the past 40 years, recognized some astonishing accomplishments of local queer entrepreneurs who have literally transformed the world we live in, honored the Past-President Jerry Becerra of Barbary Insurance Brokerage, and

immediate Past-President Eric Goforth, board of directors, and staff of the GGBA for their leadership, and learned how the GGBA has uniquely positioned LGBTQ businesses on the local, statewide, and national level to achieve substantial financial growth.

The Grand Reception was attended by approximately 400 of the most successful LGBTQ business owners in the Bay Area, California leaders from throughout the spectrum of the business community, corporation procurement representatives, key public agency and department directors, as well as elected officials and special invited guests. There were remarks by Grand Reception Chair Michael Gentleman, GGBA President Robb Fleischer, and Vice President Dawn Ackerman. Senator Mark Leno sent a Certificate of Recognition for GGBA’s accomplishments. Mayor Ed Lee lauded GGBA and proudly congratulated everyone on the Giants’ pennant win. He concluded, “To me, as part of my civil rights background, economics is the civil rights movement in the county and City of San Francisco.” He added, “And we have gay and lesbian supervisors to work together in the fight against AIDS and change federal policy for LGBT human rights.” Supervisor Scott Wiener also spoke of the importance of LGBT-run businesses.

THE SISTERS OF PERPETUAL INDULGENCE held our sixth annual charity fundraiser, PROJECT NUNWAY: 666 HERETICS OF FASHION at SOMArts Cultural Center - with money raised from the event granted to underfunded nonprofits here in San Francisco. First prize went to Sister Jezabelle of the Enraptured Sling, with first runner-up as Sister Titania Humperpickle. Sister Dana was one of the merry models strutting her

Taking care of your bedding. To maintain your bedding and keep it looking fantastic, Crane & Canopy owner, Karin Shieh, recommends that everything be zipped and buttoned before being placed in the wash. “Cold water and the low setting on your dryer are your friends,” says Shieh. She explains that both will prevent your linens from wrinkling.

Shieh also reminds us that “as tempting as it may be, don’t overstuff your washer or dryer. It always results with a date with your ironing board.”

When shopping for bedding, consider thread count, materials and weave.

For a lustrous and smooth feel, look for fabrics that are 300 to 450 thread count, made from 100 percent extralong cotton, single ply and woven in a sateen weave, Shieh advises.

So it’s time to make your bed, lie in it and, most of all, enjoy it!

Courtney Lake is the interior designer and lifestyle expert behind Monogram Décor (www.monogramdecor.com) and its celebrated blog, “Courtney Out Loud.” His work and writings have appeared on television and in writing including “The Wall Street Journal,” “The Nate Berkus Show,” the “San Francisco Chronicle,” “Life & Style Magazine,” “RUE Magazine,” “Real Simple,” “This Old House” and “7x7 Magazine.” stuff, whose completely recycled couture as Fallen Angel was fashioned by Trash Mash-Up designers.

Along with the main event of the runway fashion show, special guest vocalist Carletta Sue Kay, Grace Towers & her human SM doggies, the Devil-ettes dancing, co-emcees Peaches Christ & Sister Roma also appeared. Celebrity judges included Jane Weidlin from the Go-Gos, Sergio Quintana from “Channel 7 News,” Mr. David Glamamore, Couturier to the Stars, Steven LeMay, proprietor of Retro Fit vintage fashions, and Dolin Bliss O’Shea, author of Famous Frocks: The Little Black Dress. The festivities featured a tribute to Sasha Fleishman, the Oakland transgender teen whose skirt was set on fire in a hate crime.

Sasha’s proud parents were also in attendance. It was all very fashionably fabulous. In the words of Project Runway’s Tim Gunn: We made it work!!!

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The LGBT COMMUNITY CENTER presented THE 2014 BOLD AWARDS at the Center - a Ceremony and Reception honoring those creating a stronger and healthier community. Stirring opening remarks were by Center Executive Director Rebecca Rolfe. Honorees were Juanita More! who received the Community Spirit Award; Rob Evans & Terry Micheau, who received the Good Neighbor Award presented by State Farm; and San Francisco Human Rights Commission with the Vanguard Award; with special tributes to The Members of the #MyNameIs Facebook Campaign and former Members of the Center’s Board of Directors.

SF Transgender Day of Remembrance 2014 was commem(continued on page 26) BAY T IM ES NOVEM BER 27, 2014

23

See many more Calendar items @ www.sfbaytimes.com

compiled by Robert Fuggiti

The World Tree of Hope 9th Annual Lighting Ceremony will take place at Grace Cathedral on December 1.

• 27 : T HURSDAY

Thanksgiving Potluck Lunch – Billy De Frank LGBT Center.

Free. 11 am to 3 pm. (938 Alameda, San Jose) All are welcome to enjoy Billy De Frank LGBT Community Center’s potluck lunch. Please bring side dish or appetizer to share. www.defrankcenter.org SF Turkey Trot – Golden Gate Park. $34. 8 am. (Polo Fields,

Golden Gate Park) The SF Turkey Trot returns to the trails of Golden Gate Park on Thanksgiving Day! www.active.com San Francisco 49ers vs.

Seattle Seahawks – Levi’s Stadium. $155+. 5:30 pm. (4900 Marie P. DeBartolo Way, Santa Clara) After the turkey, cheer on the 49ers to victory. www.levisstadium.com

See more listings at www.sfbaytimes.com

• 28 : F RIDAY

36th Annual Celebration of Craftswomen – Fort Mason. $10. `10 am to 6 pm. Benefiting the Women’s building since 1978.

Through November 30. www.celebrationofcraftswomen.org Mary Poppins – Berkeley Playhouse. $38. 7 pm. (2640 College Ave., Berkeley) This Tony Awardwinning musical includes a score filled with timeless classics such as “Feed the Birds,” and the Academy Award-winning “Chim-Chim Cheree.” Through December 8. www. berkeleyplahouse.org

Christmas with the Celts – Yoshi’s Oakland. $35. 8 pm. (510 Embarcadero West) The Celts reprise their nationwide Christmas with the Celts tour this year with a fantastic line-up of world-class talents. www.yoshis.com

• 29 : S ATURDAY

The Battle of Midway – The Costume Shop. $15. 8 pm. (1117 Market St.) The famous naval battle becomes a musical-comedy. www. therhino.org Beloved Strangers – Un-script Theater. $10-$20. 8 pm. (533 Sutter St.) Beloved Strangers is a complete-

ly improvised three-act play celebrating the dynamic of family. www. un-scripted.com 24th Annual Nutcracker – Mountain View Center for the Performing Arts. $22. 1 pm. (500 Castro St.) See the holiday classic brought to life with exciting choreography and dancers. www.mountainview.gov

• 30 : S UNDAY

True West – Theatre Madcap. $20.

7 pm. (2050 Bryant St.) True West is part tense thriller, part dark comedy by Pulitzer Prize winner and Bay Area legend Sam Shepard. www. theatermadcap.com It’s A Wonderful Life – Broadway West Theatre Company. $25. 1 pm. (4000 Bay St.) The American classic is brought to life by the talented cast of Broadway West Theatre Company. Through December 13. www.broadwaywest. org 2014 Light in the Grove – Golden Gate Park. Free. 6:30 pm.

(Golden Gate Park) Re-unite with friends in this one-of-a-kind experience. www.aidsmemorial.org

• 1 : M ONDAY

World AIDS Day – National AIDS Memorial Grove. Free. 11:30 am. (National AIDS Memorial Grove, Golden Gate Park) A living tribute to all lives touched by AIDS. www.aidsmemorial.org World Tree of Hope 9th Annual Lighting Ceremony – Grace Cathedral. Free. 6:30 pm.

(1100 California St.) World Tree of Hope is the largest origami decorated holiday tree in the world, with over 12,000 origami cranes and stars each hand folded and inscribed with wishes for the future of the world. www.rainbowfund.org 24

BAY TIMES NOVEMB E R 2 7 , 2 0 1 4

Donna Sachet’s 22nd Annual Songs of the Season – Sir Francis Drake. $60. 8 pm. (450 Powell St.) A variety of spirited entertainers, all determined to usher you into the joy and excitement of the holiday season. www. songoftheseason.net

• 2 : T UESDAY

Kinky Boots – Orpheum Theatre. $75. 8 pm. (1192 Market St.) The exhilarating Broadway musical that will lift your spirits to new highheeled heights. Through December 28. www.shnsf.com

Theatre Rhino’s “The Battle of Midway” will be at The Costume Shop through November.

Irish Christmas in America – Freight & Salvage. $25. 8 pm. (2020 Addison St.) Irish ballads, instrumental tunes and thrilling dancing featuring Oisín Mac Diarmada and more. www.thefreight.org Beach Blanket Babylon – Club Fugazi. $25-$130. 8 pm. (678 Green St.) Enjoy Steve Silver’s famous musical revue packed with hilarious pop culture and political antics. www.beachblanketbabylon.com

• 3 : W EDNESDAY

Finding the Best SF School for Your LGBTQ Family – SF LGBTQ. Free. 5:30 pm to 7:30 pm.

(1800 Market St.) Hear from Parents of Public Schools on how family can successfully negotiate the San Francisco Unified School enrollment system. www.sfcenter.org Booty Call - Q Bar. $4. 10 pm to 2 am. (456 Castro St.) www.qbarsf. com. Juanita More! hosts this weekly party with hot guys, strong drinks and fun dance mash ups.

Safeway Holiday Ice Rink – Union Square. $10. 10 am to 11:30 pm. (Union Square) Celebrate the holiday season with a skate at the Safeway Holiday Ice Rink. www. unionsquareicerink.com

California Revels presents

CASTRO

ruits f m o r “F s” FARMERS’ MARKET to nut

WEDNESDAYS

Crossroads An American Journey

Celebrate The Solstice with Song, Dance, & Seasonal Merriment Two Weekends: December 12–14 & 19–21, 2014 Ticket prices from just $20. Oakland Scottish Rite Theater Phone 510.452.9334 or order online at www.californiarevels.org

4PM - 8PM

Market closes for the season Dec. 17 What’s Happening: Dec. 3: Enter to win a pair of Exploratorium tickets!

Dec. 10: Enter to win a very nice holiday gift basket filled with market goodies! There will also be holiday crafts for the kids.

Dec. 17: The market closes for the season. We're going out with lots of activities on this last day carnival games, reusable market bag giveaway, and kids' seasonal coloring. See you in March!

NOE ST. BETWEEN

MARKET ST. & BEAVER ST. 1.800.949.FARM • pcfma.com/castro

BAY T IM ES NOVEM BER 27, 2014

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AGING (continued from page 11) elder’s stress and yours. Invite fewer people to dinner, for example.

A t tend hol iday com mu n it y events- Most communities offer special events during the holidays, such as theatrical and orchestral performances, which can be enjoyable for seniors and their caregivers to look forward to and to attend. Do not stay isolated.

Enjoy activities that are free- Financial strain can be a major cause of added stress during the holidays.

However, there are many ways of enjoying the season that are free, including driving or walking around to admire holiday decorations, going window shopping without buying, playing board games with children, and attending free concerts.

Remember t hat life brings changes- Each holiday season is different and can be enjoyed in its own way. Don’t set yourself up for disappointment by comparing this year’s holiday season with the “good ol’ days.”

CARS (continued from page 11)

ROSTOW (continued from page 13)

day. And as hard as I whipped the Mirage through L.A. traffic, gas mileage remained in the 34–38 mpg range, where my larger-engined test cars had dipped down to the teens.

witnesses toppled the wall of his public image.

Let’s see. Who else can we bash? How about the Atlanta Fire Chief, Kelvin Cochran, who has been suspended for a month without pay for a book he wrote that included nasty remarks about gays and lesbians. The book, Who Told You That You Were Naked?, is some kind of religious diatribe that did not sit well with Atlanta’s town fathers and mothers. Cochran will also have to undergo sensitivity training.

So just as mainstream folks adapt to drag performers asserting their identities on Facebook, they will also need some prodding to find connection with these Mitsubishis. Functionally, the i-MiEV and Mirage are fine within their parameters. If either of them reflect your needs, they could work for you very well indeed.

San Francisco Bay Times says “THANK YOU!” to our Readers, Advertisers, Friends and Supporters!

CHLOE JACKMAN PHOTOGRAPHY

Philip Ruth is a Castro-based automotive photojournalist and consultant at www.gaycarguy.com. Check out his automotive staging service at www.carstaging.com

See? Faith isn’t an automatic green light for open bigotry in the public workplace.

That said, maybe Chief Cochran will file a religious freedom-based lawsuit against the City of Atlanta.

Moo Howdy!

I may have mentioned that the foreign minister of Latvia came out of the closet the other day. Or actually, I think

PHOTO BY RINK

BAY TIMES NOVEMB E R 2 7 , 2 0 1 4

Benjy was saved from the slaughterhouse by Sam Simon, co-creator of The Simpsons, who paid for the disinterested stud to live out his life on a farm. Now we learn that Benjy will be castrated, standard procedure for the animals in his sanctuary, but he will live out his life without further injury. Speaking to The Independent, farmer John Watson said Benjy will be placed in a herd with two friendly cows, Clover and Bramble.

Sweet arostow@aol.com

Plan your 2015 advertising campaign with the San Francisco Bay Times.

Request our media kit: publisher@sfbaytimes.com or 415-601-2113

(SISTER DANA continued from page 23) orated at the SF LGBT Community Center with co-emcees Alex Bergeron & Rexy Amaral. Across the globe, Transgender Day of Remembrance memorializes transgender and gender nonconforming people who have been killed as a result of transphobia. In 1999, in response to the murder of Rita Hester in Alliston, MA, a handful of transgender people sought to highlight the need for awareness around anti-transgender violence -founding TDOR by holding in silent testimony the names of those lost. TDOR continues to bring attention to the staggering violence endured by our community.

Speakers included Miss Major Sister Dana on the runway at Project Nunway Griffin-Gracy, Jewlyes Gutierrez the Castro/Duboce Triangle neighKlazson, Dominique Leslie, and borhood they serve.

Isa Noyola.

CUMMING UP! The Board of Directors of FOLSOM Shanti Project says: On WORLD STREET EVENTS announced AIDS DAY, let us thank YOU with charitable giving in the amount of GRATITUDE IN THE GROVE! $322,666. This takes the agency’s During the early days of the AIDS charitable donations to nearly $5.5 crisis in San Francisco, SHANTI million since it first started.

PROJECT volunteers provided couBeneficiaries include Castro Country rageous love during the darkest of Club, Frameline, Hospitality House, times; they exemplified the heartfelt National AIDS Memorial Grove, San response San Francisco is known for Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus, and providing. To commemorate 40 years Westside Community Services, of service, on World AIDS Day, amongst others. In total, they are supDecember 1, 5:30-8pm in the National porting over 70 great charities.

AIDS Memorial Grove, Nancy Pelosi CASTRO COMMUNITY ON Drive & Bowling Green Drive, Shanti PATROL (CCOP) celebrated eight Project is hosting an evening of reflecyears of service to the community by tion, connection, gratitude, and dancpartnering with Magnet SF to host a ing for former volunteers and HIV/ free community self-defense seminar AIDS volunteer caregivers at the as their way of saying “Thank You” to National AIDS Memorial Grove in 26

I skipped that news last time around.

But it’s been a big deal in Latvia. I also forgot to write about a gay bull in Ireland, Benjy, who was going to be butchered due to his lack of interest in the other main line of work that we all expect of bulls, as well as his apparent interest in one of his colleagues in the insemination tent.

Golden Gate Park. Celebratory dancing with DJ Page Hodel will follow the short program. FREE with RSVP at shantialumni2014.eventbrite.com Do you need a ride “Celebrating Heroes of the AIDS Epidemic on World AIDS Day?” They’ve got you covered! Gray Line buses has graciously donated a charter bus to escort guests to and from the Grove. To secure your ride, please RSVP at shantialumni2014.eventbrite.com LIGHT IN THE GROVE is Sunday, November 30, from 6:30-9:30pm in the National AIDS Memorial Grove, Nancy Pelosi Drive & Bowling Green Drive. On the eve of World AIDS Day, the National AIDS Memorial Grove will once again hold its annual Light in the Grove fundraising gala, a celebration of life and remembrance of those we have lost. This iconic event offers a nighttime journey through darkness and light, loss and hope. A sell-out the past four years, Light in the Grove offers a unique evening experience in Golden Gate Park; an outdoor, transparently-tented celebration with cocktails, hors d’oeuvres and dinner, featuring music, performance, art, and brilliantly evocative, surreal and technical displays of light. This year’s honorees are Ken Henderson, executive director, and Joe Seiler, board chair, of THE RICHMOND/ ERMET AIDS FOUNDATION (REAF). Festive warm attire encouraged. aidsmemorial.org RAINBOW WORLD FUND invites

(KRAMER continued from page 22) Cesar Ramos: [Laughs]. I love music from the ‘50s and ‘60s. The Supremes, Los Panchos, Elvis, of course, the Beatles, and the whole ‘90s crap Alanis, Eminem. Now I like Bon Iver.

With Spotify, you click and you discover. Right now, I am reading He’s Back, about Hitler waking up in a park in Germany in 2012. He’s in uniform, and a Turkish guy who owns a kiosk takes him home and gives him a place to live, and then he gets a TV show. It’s a comedy.

Gary M. Kramer: Are you a romantic?

Cesar Ramos: I am. My wife and I both work at home when we’re not making films [she’s in the industry].

Every 30 minutes, I give her kiss and a hug and a little massage. I’m constantly tender. I can’t help it. I wonder if it’s too much. But she says it doesn’t bother her. © 2014 Gary M. Kramer Gary M. Kramer is the author of “Independent Queer Cinema: Reviews and Interviews,” and the co-editor of “Directory of World Cinema: Argentina.” Follow him on Twitter @garymkramer

you to the 9th Annual RWF WORLD TREE OF HOPE OFFICIAL TREE LIGHTING CELEBRATION in City Hall Rotunda featuring a concert by the Grammy winning San Francisco Boys Chorus; emcee Cheryl Jennings, Mayor Ed Lee and Consul General of Japan Masato Watanabe, who will exchange peace cranes, Cleve Jones delivering a message of hope; singer Veronica Klaus with pianist Tammy Hall performing, The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence blessing the tree, and much more. Monday, December 1, 6:30-9pm, Grace Cathedral, 1100 California Street.

FREE admission, refreshments following tree lighting.

THE GOLDEN GIRLS: THE CHRISTMAS EPISODES! is coming December 4–21. Everyone’s favorite Holiday drag tradition is back! 12 performances only, Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays - 8pm, Sundays 7pm, starring Heklina, Cookie Dough, Matthew Martin, Pollo Del Mar as the Girls, and co-starring Manuel Caneri, Peter Griggs, Tom Shaw, and Jordan Wheeler.

The Historic Victoria Theatre, 2961 16th Street @ Mission/Capp. More info in December 4th edition of the San Francisco Bay Times. trannyshack. com, cookievision.com DONNA SACHET’s 22nd Annual SONGS OF THE SEASON, benefiting AIDS EMERGENCY FUND (AEF) is Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, December 1st, 2nd and

Watch what you eat and drink- It’s OK to treat yourself, but avoid the temptation to overeat those holiday goodies or overindulge in alcoholic beverages that will create ill moments for the elders and fatigue for the caregivers.

Get your exercise- Walk the dogs, walk with your loved one, take a yoga class or do chair-yoga. Exercise can be a tremendous benefit to your physical and emotional health.

In all of the ways listed above, as well as any other opportunities you can think of that specifically apply to your life, it cannot be emphasized enough how important it can be to spend the holiday season in the company of supportive and caring people, thus avoiding drama queens and trouble makers.

Happy Holidays!

Doris Bersing is a clinical psychologist, specialized in Gero-psycholog y and LGBT issues. She shares her passion for clinical work with teaching and mentoring. wwww.dorisbersing.com (KARLSBERG continued from page 22) raised $36,551, which allowed me to print an Artif ice paperback that looked as good as, if not better than, what a mainstream publisher would put out. The next year, I raised over $133,000 for the first volume of my ongoing super-hero action-romance webcomic, The Young Protectors, out this spring. And I now sell my work to a worldwide audience through Amazon and my own online store, turning my “niche” comics into a real source of income.

Twenty years ago, when you needed the permission of industry gatekeepers, this wouldn’t have been possible.

But it turns out that lots of people around the world share my dream of seeing adventures with LGBT heroes—and the Internet now lets us join forces to make those dreams real.

Alex Woolfson lives and writes in the Bay Area. You can read his comics for free online at artificecomic.com and youngprotectors.com Michele Karlsberg Marketing and Management specializes in publicity for the LGBT community. This year, Karlsberg celebrates twenty-five years of successful book campaigns.

3rd, at the beautiful Franciscan Room at the Sir Francis Drake Hotel, 450 Powell Street. If you have never attended this amazing holiday cabaret show, you will be in for a real treat.

The show promises you an evening filled with a variety of locally and internationally recognized and spirited entertainers, all determined to usher you into the joy and excitement of the holiday season. As always, prepare to smile, laugh, applaud, and even shed a nostalgic tear or two as a talented group of performers and friends join Donna in sharing the magic. Doors open 7pm, show at 8pm. songsoftheseason.net Sister Dana sez, “Congratulations to South Carolina - issuing first same-sex marriage licenses to six couples in Charleston. And kudos to U.S. District Court of Montana ruling in favor of four same-sex couples suing for marriage. Meanwhile, The Michigan samesex marriage SCOTUS petition— DeBoer v.

Snyder—has now been docketed as 14-571.

The Kentucky petition—Love v. Beshear— has been docketed as 14-574. All four of the challenges to the Sixth Circuit’s decision are now formally at the Court, awaiting state responses. Will U.S. Supremes soon rule for nationwide equality?”

Sister Dana also sez, “No, I’m not happy with most of the election results, but remember: if you didn’t vote, you can’t complain. I am so disappointed that only a third of the electorate showed up - and most of them were the wrong, uneducated, propagandized voters.

So, welcome to the new plutocratic oligarchy - courtesy of heartless, greedy, unevolved Repugnicans everywhere! Ugh!”

Round About - All Over Town

Photos by Rink

Project Nunway 666: Heretics of Fashion Sponsored by the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, Project Nunway is an annual charity fashion show where designers are paired with Sisters to create a high fashion look from recycled materials. The 2014 show was held at SOMAarts Gallery. Sister Roma and Peaches Christ served as emcees, and Oakland transgender student Sasha Fleischman was honored during the program. Project Nunway’s sixteen-year-old designer Matt Sarafa was also featured.

AGUILAS 20th Anniversary Reception AGUILAS, the organization dedicated to supporting gay and bisexual Latinos, celebrated it’s 20th Anniversary on Friday, November 21, at Roccapulco Lounge. Honored during the program were Barbara Garcia, SF Department of Public Health Director; Supervisor David Campos, Erick Arguello and Greg Rojas. Entertainment for the evening was provided by Juanita MORE!, Alexis Miranda, DJ Pablo and Orchestra Fuego Latino.

San Francisco LGBT Community Center 2014 Bold Awards The 2014 BOLD Awards and Reception was held on Thursday, November 13, at the San Francisco LGBT Community Center. Honorees included Juanita More!, Community Spirit Award; Rob Evans and Terry Micheau, Good Neighbor Award presented by State Farm; and the San Francisco Human Rights Commission. Receiving a Special Tribute recognition was the #MyNameIs Facebook Campaign and Former Members of The Center’s Board of Directors.

BAY T IM ES NOVEM BER 27, 2014

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The 36th Annual

Benefiting The Women’s Building since 1978.

November 28, 29 & 30th, 2014 FORT MASON - HERBST PAVILION - SAN FRANCISCO

10am-6pm Celebration of Craftswomen features over 150-juried artists from around the U.S. This show is a unique opportunity to find gorgeous, one-of-a-kind holiday gifts, fine crafts, and contemporary art.

Learn more at www.celebrationofcraftswomen.org

Photo Credit: Judy Stone, Hermioni 3