San Francisco Bay Times- August 6, 2015

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Trans-Formation

World’s First Transgender Modeling Agency Readies for Launch

Apple Model Management is about to launch the world’s f irst all-transgender modeling agency. Cecilio Asuncion, who recently moved from San Francisco to serve as director of the new agency branch, is in Los Angeles now readying for the big opening there.

Transgender Modeling Agency Is Seeking New Hires Asuncion and his team are actively seeking models for Apple Model Management’s upcoming new all-transgender agency. When we spoke with Asuncion, he was virtually swimming in applications, but demand is so high now for such models that there appear to be more opportunities than trained individuals to work those jobs.

As you might imagine, his phone is ringing like crazy.

Perhaps you could be the next model superstar?

The Huffington Post recently reported that “transgender people are more visible than ever,” mentioning Caitlyn Jenner’s success and public support. Actress and activist Laverne Cox also rocketed toward the top of the Time magazine readers’ poll and was named one of People’s “World’s Most Beautiful” this year. The television comedy-drama “Transparent” is so popular that it was renewed for a third season even prior to the airing of its second series shows.

Asuncion said that individuals from all experience levels—from none to some to a lot—are encouraged to apply. He stressed, “If you are selected, we will provide training and there is absolutely no cost.” Some “vanity” agencies, similar to so-called vanity publishers, get participants to pay for training and interviews, but he strongly cautioned against those.

The agency’s Thailand off ice already often works with major fashion magazines, such as Vogue, Elle and Bazaar, as well as popular publications and fashion houses in New York, Paris, Milan, London and in other cities around the globe. He indicated that Apple’s models are also represented in films, television commercials, major fashion shows and more.

Bangkok, Thailand-based Apple Model Management has represented transgender models for a while, announcing the specialty last year. But the forthcoming Los Angeles branch will be exclusively devoted to transgender models.

There is a catch, however. Asuncion said transwomen must be 5’8” and up and transmen must be 5’10”–6’2”. Height and other standards established for models, which vary per agency yet tend to favor tall and thin individuals, still spark debates.

“The lay of the land is changing,” Asuncion told the San Francisco Bay Times. “In the past years, transgender people have become more and more accepted in many areas of music, entertainment, fashion, commercial advertising and more.” In addition to Jenner and Cox, he mentioned Janet Mock, Aderet, Alexandra Billings, Isis King, Lea T. and Andrej Pejic as prominent examples.

For the lucky ones who are selected, the rewards can be high—in terms of payment, travel, and

the possibility of later, regular television, print, and/or film work. Apple transgender model Dominique, for example, had a difficult childhood growing up in Trinidad and Tobago before moving to the U.S. In addition to her modeling work, she has now authored an empowering book (http://www.amazon.com/ Transsexual-From-Tobago-Dominique-Jackson/dp/1497337046) and serves as a muse for top fashion designers.

Aspiring models may apply through Apple Model Management’s website: http://www. applemodels.com/become-a-model

Asuncion often focuses on transgender women, who were the subject of his 2014 documentary “What’s the T?” which he made while residing in San Francisco. It features Cassandra Cass, Nya Ampon, Rakash Armani, Vi Le and Mia Tu Mutch. All proceeds from the premiere went to Trans: Thrive, a non-profit clinic for transgender women in San Francisco.

It seemed surprising to us that transgender modeling was supported mostly out of Thailand at first, but Asuncion reminded us that “Thailand is a Buddhist country where there is more exposure to transgender individuals, and the movement there is very strong.” He added that the country has been hosting the famous “Miss International Queen” transgender competition for contestants from all over the world for the past 10 years.

Asuncion, as an out gay man, said that he strives for diversity in all aspects of his life, both public and personal. He mentioned that

he often teams up with lesbian allies for work.

“Even socially, I don’t just stay in my own bubble. It helps to get out to meet many members of the LGBTQIA community. The more we get to know each other, the better we can demand true equality for all of us.”

Transgender models from Apple are featured on this page and on our cover. To see the full international roster so far, please visit http:// www.applemodels.com/transgender/women/

Caitlyn Jenner’s Influential Year As mentioned recently on Entertainment Tonight, “Caitlyn Jenner is rocking one of the biggest style trends of this year.” The 65-year-old reality TV star continues to be a media favorite worldwide, with Asuncion and others inspired by Jenner’s life and work.

Jenner has used this status to bring attention to issues faced by the transgender community. Here is an excerpt from last month’s memorable ESPY Awards acceptance speech for the Arthur Ashe Award for Courage: “All across this country, right now, all across the world, at this very moment, there are young people coming to terms with being transgender. They’re learning that they are different and they are trying to figure out how to handle that, on top of every other problem that a teenager has.

They’re getting bullied, they’re getting beaten up, they’re getting murdered and they’re committing suicide. The numbers that you just heard before are staggering, but they are the reality of what it is like to be trans today.

Just last month, the body of 17-year-old Mercedes Williamson, a transgender young woman

of color, was found in a field in Mississippi stabbed to death. I also want to tell you about Sam Taub, a 15-yearold transgender young man from Bloomfield, Michigan.

In early April, Sam took his own life. Now, Sam’s story haunts me in particular because his death came just a few days before ABC aired my interview with Diane Sawyer.

Every time something like this happens, people wonder, ‘Could it have been different, if spotlighting this issue with more attention could have changed the way things happen?’ We’ll never know.

Asia SF has announced that members of its team will star in the new reality series Transcendent. Produced by Wonder of the World, which also created Rupaul’s Drag Race, the series is set to premiere on Fuse (fuse.tv/transcendent) Wednesday, September 30.

If there is one thing I do know about my life, it is the power of the spotlight. Sometimes it gets overwhelming, but with attention comes responsibility. As a group, as athletes, how you conduct your lives, what you say, what you do, is absorbed and observed by millions of people, especially young people. I know I’m clear with my responsibility going forward, to tell my story the right way—for me, to keep learning, to do whatever I can to reshape the landscape of how trans issues are viewed, how trans people are treated. And then more broadly to promote a very simple idea: accepting people for who they are.

Accepting people’s differences.”

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The Housing Blame Game, and Democracy (Mostly) Restored at City College create freeways and new office space.

When the tide did finally turn and market demand for housing began to rise again, Redmond points out it was progressives on last decade’s Board of Supervisors who passed the Eastern Neighborhoods re-zoning and approved many of the entitlements that allowed the current construction boom in SOMA and throughout the City.

A San Francisco Kind of Democrat Rafael Mandelman If there was any question that housing unaffordability is the pressing issue of the moment, this November’s ballot, which by my count will have five housing measures for the voters’ consideration (more on them in a future column), should put any doubts to rest. Everyone seems to recognize that we are in a housing crisis; what we plainly do not agree on is the cause or the cure.

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SPUR Executive Director Gabriel Metcalf recently blew up the interwebs with an article titled “What’s the Matter With San Francisco,” published on the Atlantic’s Citylab website on July 23. The thesis of the article, unsurprisingly consonant with the worldview of many of SPUR’s funders in the real estate and development community, is that San Francisco’s progressives, well-meaning but economically-confused as we are, have prevented the City from building the housing at all income levels that would have helped it avoid the current housing crisis. I, perhaps equally unsurprisingly, think that’s mostly nonsense.

As Tim Redmond reminded us on July 26 at 48hills.org, for much of those decades when Metcalf faults progressives for allegedly blocking housing, significant new residential construction wasn’t even on the City’s policy agenda. To the contrary, the City’s big land use fights were over office development, and it was often progressives who were fighting to preserve housing from being destroyed to

I appreciated one pa r t icu la rly thoughtful response to the Metcalf article from architect Mark Hogan, on his eponymously named website markasaurus.com. Hogan takes aim at the oft-repeated line that San Francisco should have been building 5,000 units a year for the past several decades to avoid the current crisis.

As Hogan points out, it’s an absurd claim: “The math makes sense in the simplest way possible, but we all know that no developer is going to build those units at the bottom of a recession (and the economy is always cyclical), and nobody 25 years ago would have predicted the level of in-migration and income inequality we have right now—even taking the population boom that started in 1980 into account. Far more units than that have been permitted in each boom, and, in most cases, developers have declined to build them (or deferred them until the next cycle). The fact that they haven’t been built has more to do with economics than obstructionism.”

Metcalf’s real aim, of course, is not to settle a debate about how we got into our current housing mess as much as to strengthen the position of the development industry in the current boom. If blame for San Francisco’s current housing crisis can be laid at the feet of San Francisco’s market skeptics, perhaps we can finally acknowledge that government is best which governs least, and stop talking about moratoria or other similarly misguided efforts to ensure that existing communities share in the benefits of new development.

Wrong again. As Robert Cruikshank has written on Calitics (“Progressives Didn’t Cause the San Francisco Housing Crisis,” 7/23/15), laissez faire is

Rafael Mandelman is an attorney for the City of Oakland. He is also President of the City College of San Francisco Board of Trustees.

Francisco, is also experiencing the joys of being both too far left and too far right. Last week, he swapped districts with Assemblymember Jimmy Gomez, who represents AD 51 in Northeast Los Angeles. For three days, they toured each other’s district, and learned about innovations and programs they might be able to bring home to their own district.

Zoe Dunning “Please just stop your 100% political posts!

Most of your classmates…are open minded, but you are so far left and one sided we are mostly tired.” -- my college Class President in a comment to a posting on my personal Facebook page “The (San Francisco) DCCC has been hijacked by Republicans disguising themselves as Democrats,” -- Rebecca Young, cochair of the Public Defender’s Racial Justice Committee Clearly, I can’t win. Depending on whom you talk to, I am either too far left or I am a Republican disguising myself as a Democrat. I’m not the only one experiencing this dichotomy.

Assemblymember David Chiu, who represents Assembly District 17 covering the eastern portion of San 4

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I will leave you, dear readers, with a bit of positive news out of City College: July 23 was the first business meeting of the (nearly) fully re-empowered Board of Trustees. Those who have been following developments at the College will remember that we started meeting again as a Board back in January after an involuntary year-and-a-half long hiatus imposed by the State Chancellor.

Since that time, we have gradually been re-assuming responsibility for various aspects of the College’s governance from the Special Trustee put in place by the State Chancellor at the height of the College’s accreditation crisis. On July 8, the State Board of Governors approved the State Chancellor’s re-appointment of the Special Trustee for an additional year, but now only with so-called “stay and rescind” powers. That is, he still has the authority to override Board decisions he determines would be catastrophic for either the College’s finances or its accreditation, but subject to that (admittedly significant) proviso, the Board is back in charge. Major challenges remain, of course, but we do seem to be making progress, and July 23 did mark an incremental victory for democracy and local control. At City College, we’ll take some incremental victories.

The Pitfalls of Our Need to Label

Do Ask, Do Tell

not the solution to our contemporary housing woes: “Ultimately SF is at the leading edge of a problem that is now facing all U.S. cities. Urban America has become expensive. As we live in an era of increasing inequality, and in a time where macroeconomic policies favor investments that benefit the rich over those that benefit the poor or the middle, no market solution alone can solve the problem. Government will be needed to help solve the crisis— through rent control, through subsidies, through an expansion of public housing stock, and through facilitation of private sector housing stock too.” In other words, this is no time for progressives to get out of the way.

The evening before David Chiu departed for L.A., he came and spoke to the membership of the Alice B. Toklas LGBT Democratic Club. During his presentation, he discussed the contrast between being the President of the Board of Supervisors in San Francisco, and representing San Francisco in Sacramento as a member of a statewide legislative body. When Chiu served in SF, he was considered one of the few who attempted to claim the middle ground between Progressive and Moderate. For the most part, his values and his voting record put him just to the left of the middle line between the two. When he ran for Tom Ammiano’s Assembly seat last year against fellow Supervisor David Campos, a proud and adamant Progressive, David Chiu was demonized by the far left as a Moderate in comparison.

The irony is that now, as he serves in Sacramento, he is considered a fairly radical liberal in comparison to the rest of the Assembly. This is for intro-

ducing legislation like AB 357, which is first-in-the-nation state legislation that would require food and retail establishments with 500 or more employees in California to provide at least two weeks scheduling notice for their workers and additional pay for last minute schedule changes. Or the LGBT Disparity Reduction Act, that would help ensure California LGBT individuals are recognized and supported by health and human service state agencies.

When I ran my very first (and only) political campaign for a seat on the San Francisco Democratic County Central Committee (DCCC), the first question I heard from nearly every potential donor I called was: “Are you a moderate or a progressive?”

Since Republicans make up only 8% of San Francisco registered voters, our city is (by and large) run by Democrats. It seems it would be boring if all Democrats agreed on certain key principles, like access to quality affordable health care, diversity and inclusion, equitable world class public education, and immigration reform. Instead, it seems we need to create an artificial differentiation— it’s not whether you are blue or red, but whether you are light blue or dark blue? Are you a Progressive Demo(continued on page 22)

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In the News San Francisco Pride Condemns Attack on Jerusalem Pride March San Francisco Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Pride Celebration Committee joins InterPride and others in condemning the horrific attack that occurred during Jerusalem’s Gay Pride march, where a religious extremist repeatedly stabbed several participants as they moved peacefully through the streets of the holy city. This tragedy demonstrates clearly why Pride events are still relevant and much needed, as they ensure the visibility of the LGBT community, and promote acceptance and equality everywhere, for everyone, say Pride spokespersons. “Our hearts are with the victims, their families and the entire LGBT community in Jerusalem and Israel.” sfpride.org Groundbreaking Survey Assesses Needs of Transgender People Living with HIV/AIDS Transgender Law Center launched the Positively Trans (T+) survey, a first-ofits-kind community-led needs assessment to examine the legal and policy landscape as experienced by transgender women, men and gender non-conforming people living with HIV/AIDS across the country. “As transgender people living with HIV/AIDS, we are capable of forming our own network, telling our own stories, and developing our own strategies for advocacy,” said Cecilia Chung, Senior Strategist at Transgender Law Center in Oakland and project leader for Positively Trans. “This survey is a groundbreaking opportunity to not only highlight our needs, but also our resilience when there are few resources available. We are ready to offer policy makers, providers and legislators our own solutions.” transgenderlawcenter.org Openhouse Offers Workshop for Tenants Being Mistreated by Landlords or Feeling Fearful of Eviction Openhouse, which offers housing assistance, services and community for LGBT seniors, will host a Tenant Rights Workshop on August 17 at 4pm in partnership with Asian Pacific Islander Legal Outreach (APILO). Space is limited.

Please RSVP to Openhouse Housing Coordinator Abby Krumbein at (415) 702-3537 or abby@openhouse-sf.org to reserve a spot. openhouse-sf.org Openings at Lyon-Martin Health Services Now Offered Lyon-Martin now has openings for Back Office Manager; Consulting Psychiatrist; Integrated Behavioral Health Specialist; Integrated Clinical Social Worker; Spanish Speaking, Primary Care Provider; Nurse Practitioner and Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner. LyonMartin Health Services is a nonprofit community clinic in San Francisco that provides primary care and behavioral health services in an integrated model to over 2,000 women, lesbian and transgender patients annually. They are looking for intelligent, dynamic individuals to join their team. The ideal candidates understand that offering patients a professional setting where they are treated with dignity, respect and compassion is the cornerstone of how they run their organization. Lyon-Martin is an equal opportunity employer.

People of color, women, transgender people, lesbians and people living with HIV/AIDS are encouraged to apply. lyon-martin.org New SFPD Castro District Boundaries Announced In a recent update of Police Station District Boundaries, Park Station’s patrol area was changed, so it now covers all of Duboce Triangle, including the neighborhoods north of (but not including) Market Street, from (but not including) Octavia Blvd. west and up toward Twin Peaks. When calling SFPD for help (911 for a life-threatening emergency or non-emergency 415/5530123) the primary dispatch goes to either Mission or Park Station, based on their boundaries – though all stations in SF cover for each other when necessary, for the fastest response to calls. castromerchants.com

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New amfAR Grants Accelerate Research Efforts to Eradicate HIV

By Dennis McMillan

CA LGBT Judicial Coalition Criticizes Lack of LGBT Judges The California LGBT Judicial Coalition has published “The New Frontier of LGBT Equality: The California State and Federal Judiciary” with 15 pages asserting it is time for California to make a sustained commitment to increase LGBT representat ion throughout the judiciary. “The legitimacy of the justice system depends on inclusion,” claims Herbst Foundation Professor and Dean’s Circle Scholar at University of San Francisco School of Law Julie A. Nice. “The California judiciary should be leading on the measure of LGBT inclusion. But we’re trailing. Unfortunately, the lack of representation creates the perception of a lack of opportunity.” Because LGBT lawyers seldom see a judicial appointment from their community, they remain reluctant to pursue these positions. Fortunately, the Governor’s office is beginning to address the low LGBT representation in the judiciary. thla.org New Publication Provides Schools with Guidance to Ensure Safe Environments for Transgender Students Five national organizations introduced “Schools In Transition: A Guide for Supporting Transgender Students in K-12 Schools,” a first-of-its-kind publication for school administrations, teachers and parents about how to provide safe and supportive environments for all transgender students, kindergarten through twelfth grade.

The lead authors are Asaf Orr, the Transgender Youth Project Staff Attorney for the National Center for Lesbian Rights (NCLR), and Joel Baum, Gender Spectrum’s Senior Director for Professional Development and Family Services. Other co-authors include the National Education Association (NEA), the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU), and the Human Rights Campaign (HRC). Recognizing that schools are increasingly being called upon to include and support transgender students can seem daunting or overwhelming, Schools In Transition offers practical guidance and field-tested tips to parents, educators, administrators and community members on planning and supporting a transgender student through a transition at school. nclrights.org MUNI Construction Projects Affect the Castro San Francisco Municipal Transportation Agency (SFMTA) and its MUNI Metro light rail train service have several projects coming up that affect the Castro. They include shuttle buses instead of trains during an extended nighttime shutdown of the entire MUNI Metro subway tunnel (from Embarcadero to St. Francis Circle past the West Portal Metro Station, and including Church and Castro Stations) having begun July 31, and extending for about a year. During that time there will be nighttime Metro subway work to replace and upgrade emergency telephones and radio systems, then rerail of the tracks and other work inside Twin Peaks Tunnel (beginning in early 2016). Escalators at Castro Station also will be replaced (one at a time) beginning this October. Traff ic Calming changes are being added to the complex and problem intersections of Upper Market at 16th-Noe, 15th-Sanchez and 14th-Church Streets starting this month. New Bike Share kiosks are coming next year to The Castro. sfmta.com AEF and BCEF Appoint Sandra Nathan as New Executive Director The joint Boards of Directors of AIDS Emergency Fund (AEF) and Breast Cancer Emergency Fund (BCEF) announced the appointment of Sandra Y. Nathan as Executive Director. She will begin her new position on Monday, September 14. Nathan replaces long-time Executive Director Mike Smith, who announced his retirement in January.

The search was led by Scott Miller Executive Search. aidsemergencyfund.org

The Foundation for AIDS Research, amfAR, announced that three research teams have been awarded $2 million each to pursue a range of strategies aimed at curing HIV. The new grants are part of amfAR’s $100M Countdown to a Cure initiative, launched last year with the aim of discovering the scientific basis for a cure by 2020. Each project is designed to tackle the major impediment to curing HIV, namely the persistence of the virus despite antiHIV drugs. amfar.org NCAVP Mourns Death of Transgender Woman Killed in Fresno The National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs (NCAVP) has learned of the homicide of K.C. Haggard, a transgender woman who was stabbed to death in the street in Fresno, California. The driver of an SUV summoned Haggard over to the vehicle, moments before fatally stabbing her in the neck.

Local transgender activists are calling for this homicide to be investigated as a hate crime. Local media coverage is highlighting a lack of bystander intervention after Haggard was attacked.

This is the eleventh homicide of a transgender woman that NCAVP has responded to in 2015, and the second within three days. ncavp.org Equality Act Could End Legal LGBT Discrimination for Good Despite widespread belief to the contrary, no federal law explicitly protects LGBT people from discrimination; but The Equality Act is a comprehensive bill that would, if passed, add “sexual orientation” and “gender identity” to the protections that already exist based on race, color, religion, sex, and national origin. It also would do more than that. Unlike the Employment Non-Discr imination Act ( EN DA), which bounced around Congress for 20 years without ever passing both chambers in the same session, The Equality Act takes a comprehensive approach to protecting the LGBT community in seven critical sectors: credit, education, employment, federal funding, housing, jury service and public accommodations. The legislation is an update to the Civil Rights Act of 1964 that increases its protections for many Americans beyond the LGBT community as well. thinkprogress.org Trans: Thrive Offers Second of Community Forum Series Trans: Thrive, a Drop-in Center by and for the Transgender Community of San Francisco and the Greater Bay Area, is presenting Community Forum #2, “Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Tea,” on Thursday, August 20, at 6pm at 25 Van Ness, 6th Floor. Organizers ask activists to join them as they mobilize the transgender community “to have a much needed, and long overdue, discussion about issues within the transgender community which have created barriers to overall unity and connectedness. Help us bridge the gaps within our own communities by engaging in heartfelt, thoughtful, respectful and transparent conversations about ‘what’s bugging us most’ about these long-standing divides.” transthrive.org Castro/Eureka Valley Neighborhood Association Seeks Members The Castro/Eureka Valley Neighborhood Association provides a public forum for the people who live, work and play in the greater Eureka Valley area to discuss common issues and concerns, and help develop solutions to improve the neighborhood. Organizers say, “If you’re looking for a place to get involved, express your opinions, lend a helping hand or wrestle with land use and planning topics, we’d love to have you consider attending or joining EVNA. We’re reportedly the oldest continuously operating group in the city.” They have an active board and membership of about 350 people, holding general membership meetings every two months and a board meeting every other month. Anyone who resides in the area can belong. They are especially looking for persons of color, women and younger voices to add to their eclectic mix. evna.org

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It’s Just That Simple greater financial worry. These results are consistent with the Badgett, Durso and Schneebaum (June 2013) study that reviewed rates of poverty in the LGBT community, and concluded that LGBT people are still more likely to be poor than heterosexuals.

The second largest difference was in the area of physical well-being. Only 25% of LGBT participants compared to 33% of non LGBT participants reported high levels of well-being on questions related to alcohol, drug and tobacco use, health issues, exercise and eating habits. These findings are consistent with health disparities reported in the Institute of Medicine Report and the Healthy People 2020 study that found higher rates of unhealthy eating behaviors, tobacco and alcohol abuse and mental distress in LGBT populations. Similarly, the LGBT aging studies conducted at the University of Washington Institute for Multigenerational Health reported higher rates of disability, physical and mental distress, greater vulnerability to isolation and lack of access to services as key health disparities in LGBT older adults.

Aging in Community Marcy Adelman When the California Legislature returns on August 17, the Senate Appropriations Committee will begin processing bill 959, The Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Disparities Reduction Act. Sponsored

by Assemblyman David Chiu, the bill directs four California state departments—health care services, public health, social services and aging—to collect voluntary selfreported information on sexual orientation and gender identity. After the Senate Appropriations Committee processing, the full Senate on the Senate floor will vote on the bill. Bill 959 is nothing less than a game changer.

You wouldn’t let an ambulance driver with blinders on drive you or your loved one to the hospital. You wouldn’t give a baby a bath without first checking the water temperature. It really is just that simple, and that important. Collecting data on sexual orientation and gender identity will allow us to see the road ahead and to take the most efficient and shortest route to eliminating health disparities. Better data will allow us to better care for ourselves and each other, and to plan a healthier future for generations to come.

We cannot eliminate health disparities and improve quality of care without broader and more comprehensive information on the health and wellbeing of LGBT people. The lack of better data limits the ability of policymakers and service providers to develop best interventions, or to craft smart strategies to improve the health and well-being of LGBT Californians.

And improve it we must.

Gary Gates of the Williams Institute recently reported on the newly released Gaillup-Healthways Well-Being Index survey. He found that nationally, LGBT adults and LGBT women, in particular, scored lower than heterosexuals on all five areas of the Well-Being index: purpose in life, social well-being, financial well-being, community connectedness and physical well-being.

The largest difference was in the area of financial well-being. LGBT adults reported a lower standard of living, less ability to afford basic necessities and

LGBT serving organizations and ally organizations can send a letter in support of bill 959 to: The Senate Appropriations Committee Chair, Senator Lara State Capitol, Room 2206 Sacramento, CA 95814 Marcy Adelman, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in private practice, is co-founder of the non-profit organization Openhouse and was a leading member of the San Francisco LGBT Aging Policy Task Force.

LGBT Resources for Seniors • Openhouse: 415-296-8995 openhouse-sf.org/ • Family Caregiver Alliance: 415-434-3388 www.caregiver.org • Institute on Aging: 415-750-4111 www.ioaging.org/ • National Resource Center on LGBT Aging www.lgbtagingcenter.org/ • Project Open Hand San Francisco: Nutrition Services 415-447-2300 www.openhand.org/ • SAGE: 212-741-2247 www.sageusa.org/about/ • Shanti Project, Inc: HIV Services and Life Threatening Illnesses 415-674-4700 www.shanti.org/ Alzheimer’s Association Programs and Services: • 24/7 Helpline: 1-800-272-3900 www.alz.org/norcal/; Online Community: www.alzheimersblog.org/ lgbt-forum • Memory Clinic, Kaiser Permanente Santa Clara Medical Center: 408-530-6900 mydoctor.kaiserpermanente.org/ncal/facilities/region/santaclara/ area_master/departments/memorycliic/index.jsp

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Sister Dana Sez: Words of Wisdumb from a Fun Nun

By Sister Dana Van Iquity Sister Dana sez, “Pope Francis, in the first extensive interview of his six-month-old papacy, said that the Roman Catholic church had grown ‘obsessed’ with preaching about abortion, gay marriage, and contraception, and that he has chosen not to speak of those issues despite recriminations from some critics. Pope Francis said the church needs to be a ‘home for all’ rather than a ‘small chapel’ sticking to a narrow set of so-called moral teachings. Wow! Whoever thought I’d become a fan of the Pope?!”

Nearly 15,000 leather folk, fetish enthusiasts, and their fans turned out for this year’s UP YOUR ALLEY leather fair in San Francisco’s South of Market district. This year marked the celebration of the original leather block party started back in 1985 on Ringold Alley. Leather daddies and mamas ruled the streets of SOMA at UYA. They were joined by skinheads, punks, bears, pigs, plushies, furries, and a variety of BDSM devotees who engaged in public spankings, whippings, f loggings, bondage, domination and submission, creative water sports, and so much more. There were even human puppies in the K9 Unit! And a few actual animals such as dogs, birds, and a boa constrictor accompanied their masters. Many attendees wore nothing but their birthday suits on this fairly hot day. Some of my fave booths were The Frugal

Domme (“quality toys for discriminating adults at reasonable prices” that featured the very newest in floggers made out of pieces of fire hose); St. James Infirmary offering free rapid HIV tests; National Coalition for Sexual Freedom Inc. with their latest slogan: “Kinky Is Not a Diagnosis;” the official Folsom Street Fair booth where you could purchase official Up Your Alley and Folsom Street Fair merchandise (Folsom Fair is September 27th); tattoo and piercing booths.

There were the usual ring toss games and Naked Twister. Dancing in the streets was accompanied by many famous deejays including Ernie Cote, Josh Whitaker, Dan DeLeon, and David Harness vs. Derek Hena with a live vocal performance from Krystle Jones. For more info about the upcoming Folsom Street Fair (bigger and better than UYA), check out folsomstreetevents.org T H E R IC H MO N D/ E R M E T A I D F OU N DAT ION ( R E A F ) presented HELP IS ON THE WAY X XI – HOL LY WOOD GL A M, their 21st annual fundraiser. Ken Henderson & Joe Seiler produce Northern California’s largest yearly star-studded concert & gala, this time benefiting Meals on Wheels of San Francisco & San Francisco AIDS Foundation. Held at the Palace of Fine Arts, the event started off with a wine and cocktail bar with delicious canapés. Highlights of the evening’s entertainment included Susan Anton singing “Hooray for Hollywood” and “Once Before I Go,” Contantine Maroulis with the dramatic “This Is the Moment,” and equally dramatic “Bring Him Home” from Les Miz, John Lloyd Young and “How Do We Keep the Music Playing” and the heart-throbbing “Unchained Melody,” Carole Cook giving us a hilarious standup routine

followed by an enchanting “Have I Stayed Too Long at the Fair,” Loretta Devine giving us the naughty double entendre of “If I Can’t Sell It, I’ll Keep Sittin’ on It,” Kimberley Locke belting out the enthusiastic “This Is My Life,” Jake Simpson groaning “Roxanne,” Paula West jazzing it up with “Do What You Did Last Night,” the always bodacious B.O.O.B.S (Busty Outrageous Over-the-top Broads Singing) duo of Leanne Borghesi & Soila Hughes going Cole Porter on us with “Don’t Kill the Ingénues,” Sony Holland going French with “I Will Wait for You” from Umbrellas of Cherborg,” comedy by Scott Nevins, Tito Puente style “Salsamania” featuring hot salsa dancers John Narvaez, Liz Rojas, Rodney Graham, & Mayuko Ueda, followed by the entire company singing the theme song, “Help Is on the Way.” Everyone in the audience most certainly got their money’s worth while helping the very worthy charity!

The next big fundraiser for REAF is on September 21st, 7:30pm: OSCAR UNMASKED - ONE NIGHT ONLY WITH THE CAST OF THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA at Marines’ Memorial Theater. reaf-sf.org GAY A SI A N PACI F IC A L L IA NCE held their annual GAPA BANQUET at Far East Cafe in Chinatown for an evening of sumptuous food and entertainment. Emcees were Jonathan Cheung & Danny Pham. We honored founding GAPA member Lawrence Wong, f irst openly gay Asian elected official in the U.S., for his over 25 years of tireless efforts of public service in education and activism in the community.

In 1994, Wong was elected to the SF Community College board where he continued to champion the impor-

tance of education, especially for disadvantaged students.

Entertainment was provided by Estee Longah & Chichi Kago of the Rice Rockettes doing “Nowadays” from Chicago, GAPA Chorus singing “True Colors” and other pieces, and Leung’s White Crane Lion Dance, executing a spectacular version of the famed lion dance. Alex Randolph assured us that the Community College was still very much alive and well - despite the many obstacles it has had to overcome. Supervisor Scott Wiener presented a Certificate of Recognition. A huge timeline on the wall depicted the various struggles and victories of GAPA over the years since their inception in 1988, pursuing and addressing issues that directly affect the queer API community.

Reminder: September 12th is the annual RUNWAY27: UNDER THE SEA grand pageant when we will see the new Mr. & Miss GA PA crowned. gapa.org Last week, I came home to DRAMA in the Castro!!! Power failure. Darkness. No stop lights. No lights anywhere. No way to get into my apartment, which operates via an electronic telephone pad to buzz me in. I was stranded in darkness and panic.

Thank God one of my fellow apartment dwellers had the good sense to carry a key. So, after 45 minut es of gnashing my teeth in darkness, I was home. Once inside my little studio, I found every freakin’ candle I owned and lit ‘em all up. I sat down with my latest book, Season of the Witch: Enchantment, Terror, and Deliverance in the City of Love by David Talbot. An excellent read, and includes a chapter on The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence and the Cockettes - two of my greatest loves. So anyway, that’s

how I spent my Saturday eve/Sunday morn. Thank you, Mr. Thomas Edison, for electric lights!!!!!

CUMMING UP! MAGNET, the Castro hub of health and well-being for gay and bi men, is presenting its monthly art reception with the paintings of T.S. RIDLEHUBER. The wine and cheese reception is 8 to 10pm at 4122 18th Street and Castro. We will welcome Travis Ridlehuber to the Magnet gallery for the month of August. His work illustrates the beauty of man in his natural state: bearded and masculine, strong and vulnerable, magnetic, Apollonian. The paintings are executed on finely-crafted, custom-built wood panels. Historically a male skill fostered through guilds, woodworking was passed from one generation of carpenters to the next, from fathers to sons. Reflecting this tradition, the panels are hard and strong, beautiful like the images of men that they hold.

The creation of the work has been, in part, a collaborative effort on the part of the painter, the woodworker, and the models. The images were almost solely taken from “selfies” chosen by artist and subject from a collection of photos each man uses to portray himself. The woodworker is an incredibly skilled craftsman who takes great pride in his work. Travis has worked with the woodworker to ensure that the grain and type of wood are perfectly paired and finished for each individual piece. And, finally, the painter brings the refined craftsmanship of the woodworker, the hard refined beauty of the wood, and the beauty of the model together in the finished work. Come marvel at these masterpieces! magnetsf.org Come celebrate 10 years of SUNDAY’S A DR AG at The Starlight (continued on page 22)

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9

Finding a Smoother Path to Divorce A Different Approach

Money Matters Brandon Miller, CFP When a couple decides to end their marriage, they can face a daunting list of costs, paperwork and formalities before their divorce is finalized. One thing most should be able to agree on is that they’d like the divorce process to move along as smoothly as possible.

While everyone’s circumstances are different, finding common ground can be important to making the divorce process less painful and potentially less costly as well.

A newer development in the legal process for divorce is known as collaborative law. It is designed to help couples find points of agreement, settle issues in a more cooperative way and stay out of divorce court. The process can be effective for couples of all ages, but finding a less antagonistic way to settle a divorce may be especially beneficial when children are part of the mix.

Divorce is often a process that is litigated between two parties, each represented by his or her own attorney.

With a collaborative process, each spouse has his or her own attorney as well, but in this case, the attorneys are trying to find ways to settle issues with less contention. Legal professionals who pursue this approach are committed to finding solutions to points of dispute and both parties make a priority of keeping the issue out of the courts.

An honest and forthright approach by both parties is crucial to this process.

Open disclosure of information is fully expected. For example, both a husband and wife must be candid about money they may have set aside in any account or documents that may have been drawn up prior to or during the marriage that could have an impact on the ultimate settlement.

Financial advisors can be involved in the process to help provide guidance through tricky issues related to joint accounts, retirement savings plans and tax implications of a divorce (although you’ll also want to work with a tax professional). The two parties should agree to the use of other various financial specialists to help, for example, conduct an appraisal on the value of the home or other property.

Going Beyond Financial Issues Many people would agree that there is significant emotional stress to the entire family when a home is split

apart. This is especially true if custody of children becomes part of the settlement process.

Collaborative law puts significant emphasis on the involvement of professionals who can help families through the process. This can include mental health counselors and coaches, parenting experts, and child specialists.

If the couple has children, the help of child specialists can be particularly important to help assure that the transition to a new relationship with their parents is as smooth as possible.

It also is a way to give children a voice in the process and helps contribute to a more satisfactory resolution to the divorce.

Moving on with Life For most people, going through a divorce is extremely emotional and complex. If the divorce process can be handled with less hostility and a spirit of cooperation, it can result in a faster resolution and one that is more suitable for both parties. This can be critical in helping divorced spouses move on with the next phase of their lives.

Often seeking out help from professionals—financial advisors, lawyers and CPAs—can make the process go a little bit smoother.

Brandon Miller, CFP, is a financial consultant at Brio Financial Group, A Private Wealth Advisory Practice of Ameriprise Financial Inc. in San Francisco, specializing in helping LGBT individuals and families plan and achieve their financial goals.

Cars with Muscle

Auto Philip Ruth For some guys and gals, it’s all about the muscles. And the two cars we’ll check out this time have some strong ones. There are three muscle cars from U.S.-brand manufacturers. All have familiar names and looks, and they’ve never been better. For this column, I drove a Ford Mustang EcoBoost and a couple of Dodge Challengers, an SXT V6 and an R/T V8. The Chevy Camaro will be redesigned for 2016, and we look forward to driving one.

In our day of electric and hydrogen cars—yep, in October, the hydrogenpowered Toyota Mirai starts deliveries in California—muscle cars can seem even more like the throwbacks many think them to be. But you don’t need an engraved invitation for people to appreciate strength, and the healthy sales numbers of each of these three prove that. The Ford and Chevy are selling at about half the rate of the midsized sedans in those lineups, and the Challenger is up big from last year.

They’re like Tom of Finland: they’re obviously from another time, but they still strike a chord in our modern day.

The tested Mustang is perhaps the most modern among them, with its optional EcoBoost turbocharged four-cylinder engine. The last four in a Mustang was the lump of a motor from the Pinto, and so there was 10

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Dodge Challenger

Ford Mustang EcoBoost

understandable concern when news came down of another four.

No matter: the Mustang has a hint of turbo lag off the line, but lots of surge awaits once the boost hits. The reward is an EPA overall rating of 25 mpg, if you can keep your right foot out of the turbo and the 310 horsepower it helps produce. Over the road, the Mustang feels surprisingly light and nimble, and the stiff ride is the manageable tradeoff for handling that’s truly engaging. The Pirelli P Zero tires on my test car made it easy to kick out the rear end, even at lower speeds. You’d have to reach licenseburning velocities to get the Mustang EcoBoost crossed up.

Of the two Challengers I drove, the one with the 6.4-liter V8 made the biggest impression, though the standard V6 in the other was no slouch.

The R/T V8 with the Scat Pack fea-

tured a launch control that would likely put my license in dire jeopardy; when I excitedly told a gay cop friend about my experimenting with it and the frankly awesome velocities I hit within mere feet of my start, he replied, “And you did this on private roads, yes?” That’s what 485 horses from a V8 do; they can turn the world into a funhouse of your very own. The Challenger also handles well and has a roomier interior than the Mustang.

Maybe most importantly, both Challengers got many more admiring looks than the Mustang did, including from a few cute straight guys who stopped to chat. For some buyers in this $25–40K price bracket, that might be all they need to know.

Philip Ruth is a Castro-based automotive photojournalist and consultant at www.gaycarguy.com. Check out his automotive staging service at www.carstaging.com

BAY T IM ES AUGUS T 6, 2015

11

Roland Schembari and Bill Hartman Co-Founders in 1978

Making Peace with the Past Part 2 of the Series: Cultivating Gratitude they happened, or blamed ourselves for them. But if we lose sight of the fact that the ultimate goal of this work is to let go and move on—if we get stuck in victimization, rage and vengefulness— then we foreclose on the possibility of finding peace. That’s because intense negative thoughts about the past tend to block feelings of contentment and satisfaction.

Kim Corsaro Publisher 1981-2011

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We honor our history and the paper’s ability to build and strengthen unity in our community.

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CONTRIBUTORS Writers Rink, Sister Dana Van Iquity, Ann Rostow, Kirsten Kruse, Kate Kendell, Heidi Beeler, Gary M. Kramer, Dennis McMillan, Tom Moon, Terry Baum, Gypsy Love, Rafael Mandelman, Kit Kennedy, Phil Ting, Rebecca Kaplan, Leslie Katz, Philip Ruth, Bill Lipsky, Karen Williams, Donna Sachet, Gary Virginia, Zoe Dunning, Marcy Adelman, Stuart Gaffney & John Lewis Brandon Miller, Jamie Leno Zimron Rebecca Kaplan, Thom Watson, Courtney Lake, Michele Karlsberg Photographers Rink, Steven Underhill, Phyllis Costa, Cathy Blackstone, Robert Fuggiti, Chloe Jackman, Bill Wilson, Jo-Lynn Otto, Sandy Morris, Abby Zimberg

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Examined Life Tom Moon, MFT As I wrote last time, it’s a truism that if we want to be happy today, we have to find some acceptance and peace with the pain and disappointments of the past. Two powerful methods for achieving that acceptance are practicing forgiveness and cultivating gratitude. Last time I talked about forgiveness. This time, the focus is on gratitude.

I sometimes find it odd that, in my profession, which is supposed to be about achieving happiness, so many seem to think that we can find it by focusing on the pain, failures, disappointments, abuse, and traumas of the past. It’s true that there can be powerful healing in talking about the wrongs that were done to us, especially if we’ve kept them secret, denied that

The great philosopher Lily Tomlin once observed, “Humanity invented language out of a deep need to complain.” Human beings are wired in a way that inclines us to focus more on struggle and unhappiness than on happiness and peace. Our complex brains evolved as tools for anticipating and overcoming dangers, for avoiding pain, and for solving problems; so dangers, pain, and problems are what capture our attention. What’s unproblematic, pleasant and harmonious tends to slip into the background.

So if we want more positive emotions like gratitude in our lives, we have to cultivate them deliberately. A few years back, two psychologists, Michael McCullough and Robert Emmons, began a series of experiments that they called The Research Project on Gratitude and Thanksgiving. The purpose was to see if deliberately focusing on gratitude improved wellbeing. The studies involved over 2,000

subjects. In one experiment, several hundred people in three different groups kept daily diaries. The first group kept a record of the events that occurred during the day; the second recorded their unpleasant experiences; and the third made a daily list of things for which they were grateful.

The researchers were astonished at the sizable effects they observed. Those who did the daily gratitude exercises reported higher levels of alertness, enthusiasm, determination, optimism, and energy. McCullough wrote: “In just two to three weeks they reported being happier. People close to them could see the difference, too.” They experienced less depression and stress, and better sleep duration and sleep quality. They were more likely to help others, exercised more regularly, and made more progress toward personal goals. They were also more likely to feel loved, perhaps because gratitude encouraged a positive cycle of reciprocal kindness. Emmons commented, “If you want a strategy to increase your happiness, there’s a lot out there that will help. You can take pharmaceuticals like Prozac. But gratitude is something that doesn’t have side effects.”

As a result of this and similar research projects, Positive Psychologists, who focus on increasing positive emotions like joy and happiness, regularly

prescribe gratitude practice to their clients. In his book Authentic Happiness, Martin Seligman, one of the leaders in the Positive Psychology movement, recommends two gratitude exercises. In the first, the instructions are to set aside five free minutes each night, preferably right before bedtime. Think back over the day and write down up to five things in your life for which you’re grateful. Do this daily for two weeks, and if you find it helpful, incorporate the practice into your daily routine.

In the second exercise, choose a person for whom you feel gratitude. Spend some time writing this person a gratitude testimonial that is short enough to fit on one page. Have the page laminated, and in a face-to-face meeting with the person, present it to him or her and read it aloud. Seligman reports that his clients regularly report great benefits from these practices.

Religion and philosophy have long recommended gratitude as an indispensable element of wholeness and well-being. Today, psychological research is confirming that ancient wisdom. Our well-being depends far more on our attitude toward our circumstances than on the circumstances themselves. Happiness is an inside job.

Tom Moon is a psychotherapist in San Francisco. To learn more, please visit his website at tommoon.net

Round About - San Francisco Jewish Film Festival 35 Photos by Rink

The Jewish Film Institute’s San Francisco Jewish Film Festival 35 began with the Opening Night featured film Dough at the Castro Theatre.

On hand were director Jay Rosenblatt and actors John Goldschmidt and Jerome Holder. The Opening Night Party that followed was held at the Jewish Contemporary Museum. Welcoming attendees were the festival’s executive director Lexi Leban and programmer Joshua Moore.

At the Castro Theatre on Sunday, August 2, the Festival’s Freedom of Express Award was presented to Academy Award-winning actress Lee Grant (Shampoo, Tell Me a Riddle, The Willmar 8).

The Festival continues through August 9. For information, call 415-621-0523 or visit the website: sfjff.org

GLBT Fortnight in Review

By Ann Rostow Going Big, Finally!

It is with great pleasure that I can finally report our community leaders have tossed in the towel on the Employment Nondiscrimination Act. At last, the ill-fated, quarter-centuryold, loophole-ridden, counter-productive piece of legisla-sh-t has been abandoned in favor of a rock solid bill known as the Equality Act. The Equality Act will add “sexual orientation” and “gender identity” to the Civil Rights Act of 1964, the Fair Housing Act, and other federal statutes. It will also fill in gaps with extra protections for women.

The Equality Act was introduced in both houses of Congress on July 22, and sure, it has zero chance of advancing in a GOP-led legislature. But neither does anything else. So, as long as we’re fighting the uphill battle for anti-discrimination laws, we might as well be fighting for something that will work, rather than something that would set us back a couple of decades.

Don’t worry, dear readers. I’m not going to drag you through the weeds of the Equality Act, even though I did read the bill. We’ve had enough technical news lately what with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, the various Religious Freedom Restoration Acts and the implications of Justice Kennedy’s reliance on Due Process versus Equal Protection in Obergefell.

I will, however, mention that far right Republicans in Congress have proposed a bill of their own, the First Amendment Defense Act, introduced in mid-June. FADA, which now has over 120 House sponsors and at least 34 co-sponsors in the Senate, would put a Congressional stamp of approval on antigay discrimination as well as discrimination based on marital status. A key paragraph reads: “Notwithstanding any other provision of law, the Federal Government shall not take any discriminatory action against a person, wholly or partially on the basis that such person believes or acts in accordance with a religious belief or moral conviction that marriage is or should be recognized as the union of one man and one woman, or that sexual relations are properly reserved to such a marriage.”

Much like the Equality Act, FADA has little to no chance of passage even with a Republican majority. Still, as long as antigay bigotry is mindlessly accepted as a legitimate tenet of Christianity, our communal headaches continue apace.

Fourth Time’s the Charm I have given the New York Times until noon today to deliver my damn paper. As one of the few remaining hard copy subscribers, I pay an exorbitant amount of money to feed my addiction to crossword puzzles, as well as my lifelong habit of reading a physical newspaper early in the morning. And yet, am I appreciated? Is my paper delivered without fail each day? Answer: no. So this is it, as I explained to one of their nice, but ineffective, agents on the phone an hour ago. Bring me the f---ing paper or I am out.

Just thought I’d mention this irrelevant piece of information because it is at the forefront of my mind as I write. I will let you know what happens. Three hours and 11 minutes left, Grey Lady.

Now, I’ve been ignoring the small pockets of marriage resistance from this or that clerk in this or that conservative county, but Kim Davis of Kentucky has earned herself a few lines.

The woman, who recently had to go to court to defend her refusal to issue a marriage license to two gay men, has

reportedly been married four times.

Even fact-finders snopes.com thinks this information is most likely true.

And Davis has had plenty of time to refute the evidence of rank hypocrisy, but she has not done so.

No, of course there’s nothing particularly wrong with serial matrimony.

But this is a woman who self-righteously blathers on about her Christian faith. I can’t quote you chapter and verse, but the Bible instructs its literal minded readers to marry for life. Oh, what the hell. Let’s go for chapter and verse: Mark 10:10-12: “When they were in the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this. He answered, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.’”

Luke 16:16: “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”

Corinthians 7:39: “A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord.”(Did all of Kim’s husbands die?)

Well, you get the picture. But while we’re surfing the Bible, how about this little gem from Deuteronomy 25:1112: “If two men are fighting and the wife of one of them comes to rescue her husband from his assailant, and she reaches out and seizes him by his private parts, you shall cut off her hand. Show her no pity.”

What the…? This is hardly a generic scenario, so you have to imagine that some poor scribe in 650 B.C. Jerusalem had a particularly painful experience after a loyal wife intervened in one of his macho scraps. And what does she get for her pains? Hand amputation? Honestly, even a random glance at the Old Testament invariably provides a barbaric vignette.

Was Cecil Gay? No, he wasn’t gay, poor thing. I was just trying to link the late lion to our main topic. I have cable news running in the background as I write and there he is, in all his erstwhile glory, lounging and yawning in an adorable fashion. As I wrote elsewhere, I think a large part of my empathy stemmed from the fact that Cecil had a name.

Plus, he was repeatedly described by the media as “beloved” when news of his horrible death first broke. So, instead of “male lion killed by hunter,” we all read, “beloved lion Cecil killed

by American dentist.” Far worse.

I would still have scorned the hunter, because I have an instinctive affection for furry animals. And, frankly, it bothers me that I can skim over the ferry accident that kills a hundred people in the Indian Ocean, and get stopped cold by the headline: “Neighbor accused of poisoning rabbit.”

What’s wrong with me?

As for Dr. Palmer, there’s something inherently unnerving about dentists, don’t you think? I love my own dentist. (Appointment tomorrow at one!)

But I’m speaking in general. What was that movie with dental torture?

Oh yes. “Marathon Man.” It’s Not My Party Moving on, the Republican National Committee is about to deliberate on various non-binding resolutions during their summer meeting. Among the proposals is a statement urging schools to teach students about the harmful effects of being gay, including the two decades that homosexuality subtracts from your lifespan. Hope that one’s not true or else this could be one of my farewell columns. Another seeks to strip courts of jurisdiction over marriage and allow states to revert to marriage discrimination.

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Ridiculous, yes. But the Republicans have put some fairly ridiculous resolutions in writing before.

Speaking of Republicans, here’s a Congressional race you can put on your watch list even at this early stage. New Jersey Rep. Scott Garrett is refusing to pay his GOP party dues because he believe the Republican National Congressional Committee is too gay friendly. According to Bloomberg news, Garrett’s antigay bombast has now turned off some big financial sector donors and opened the door for Bill Clinton’s former speechwriter, Josh Gottheimer, who is considering a run and who has already raised over half a million from people who don’t like Garrett’s fringe views.

Garrett has represented the Garden State’s fifth district since 2002. The district is not a slam-dunk for Republicans, however. In 2012, the fifth voted 51-29 for Romney.

Cat Got Your Bacon?

I read that John Travolta is about to be deposed in a lawsuit brought by his ex-pilot and alleged lover. As a result, we are told, Travolta might finally be forced to admit that he is not exactly straight as an arrow. I think it’s too late for us to care about this, don’t you? I almost didn’t even include the news. Plus, he’s either straight, in which case he’ll say so. Or else he’s lied about his sexuality so often that he might as well stick to the story.

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I don’t know for sure that he’s a closet case, although there’s quite a lot of smoke. But I do know that he’s a cult member, which means by definition that he has a few screws loose.

Speaking of loose screws, Texas Rep. Louis Gohmert recently came up with an analogy to illustrate why gays and lesbians should not be allowed to marry. Speaking to a student audience, Gohmert suggested that we take four heterosexual couples, four gay male couples and four lesbian couples, put them all on separate islands and come back in a hundred years to see how many babies were born in the interim. The results would reveal nature’s intent.

I was just about to make a joke at Gohmert’s expense when I noticed some click bait on the side of the article, headlined: “Man Calls Police Because His Girlfriend Let Cat Eat His Bacon.”

The incident took place in West Yorkshire, and I’ve noticed that the story has been widely disseminated, so maybe you’ve already seen it. Sorry.

The 90-second 999 call recording was released as part of an effort to remind the public not to call the police unless you have a real emergency. Oh, and the guy was absolutely plastered, so that partially explains his inappropriate reaction.

I’ve actually gotten in trouble from Mel for feeding bacon to the pugs, but she’s resisted alerting law enforcement.

Meanwhile, I’m still thinking about the eight lesbians on the desert island.

They’d find a way, don’t you think?

The island thing reminds me of the warring videos: f irst the gay men who threaten to marry straight men’s girlfriends if they don’t get marriage equality; then the straight men who say, “Go for it, we don’t want to marry them anyway;” then the lesbians who say they’ll marry straight women’s boyfriends; then the straight women who say, “Leave us alone, for God’s sake.” Google “gay men will marry your girlfriends” to watch the amusing series. It’s well worth it.

Special Delivery Hey. The New York Times arrived before noon. I had already made Mel go (continued on page 22)

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Round About - Flagging in the Park

Photos by Rink and Stuart Kent for the AIDS Memorial Grove On July 25, participants enjoyed the sun, music, flora and friends in the beautiful National AIDS Memorial Grove at the 2015 Flagging in the Park event. DJ Robbie Leslie spun tunes as people joyously flagged, or just relaxed and admired the colorful visuals.

Flagging in The Park was founded in 1997 by a group of San Francisco flaggers who started the event as an annual tradition of celebrating life by gathering in the Grove on Flag Day and on other days.

For 2015, founding producer Xavier Caylor and his partner Jeffrey Doney joined with a series of coproducers for upcoming events scheduled for August 23 and October 10. Additional information can be found on the Facebook page: Flagging in the Park - San Francisco.

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Frederick Douglass, the Freedom to Marry, and LGBT Equality exercise his new found freedom to marry (a freedom denied slaves). Just eleven days after Douglass gained freedom, he married Anna Murray, a free black woman he had met and fallen in love with in Baltimore the year before.

Regarding his first day of freedom Douglass wrote: “I lived more in one day than in a year of my slave life…

[G]ladness and joy, like the rainbow, defy the skill of pen or pencil.”

Marriage Equality John Lewis and Stuart Gaffney, Marriage Equality USA Early on in our work for marriage equality, we had the occasion to reread the autobiography and other selected writings of renowned abolitionist and civil rights champion Frederick Douglass. Through the years, we have found great inspiration in the intelligence, strength and bravery Douglass displayed to overcome unspeakable indignities and free himself from slavery, and in his eloquent and impassioned advocacy, not just for African American equality, but for universal human rights and especially gender equality.

Douglass’s description of the manner in which, as a young boy, he and other slave children were fed remains indelibly etched in our minds. In Douglass’s words: “Our food was coarse corn meal boiled…It was put into a large wooden tray or trough, and set down upon the ground. The children were then called, like so many pigs, and like so many pigs they would come and devour the mush…”

After surviving countless whippings, beatings, and other degradations, one of the first things Douglass did upon escape from slavery in 1838 was to

Douglass and Murray remained married for 44 years until her death in 1882. Two years later, Douglass broke another marriage equality barrier when he married the white feminist Helen Pitts. Douglass understood himself to be mixed race as the child of his slave mother and a white slave owner, although no written records document his birth. Many disapproved of his second marriage, and indeed marriage for interracial couples would not become legal nationwide for over 80 years after Douglass and Pitts married.

In his writings, Douglass spared nothing when he vividly described the brutality of slavery and condemned of the version of Christianity slaveholders and their supporters practiced. An African Methodist Episcopal (AME) minister himself, Douglass stated in 1845: “I love the pure, peaceable, and impartial Christianity of Christ: I therefore hate the corrupt…and hypocritical Christianity [found in slave states]…I am filled with unutterable loathing when I contemplate the religious pomp and show, together with the horrible inconsistencies, which every where surround me. We have menstealers for ministers, women-whippers for missionaries, and cradleplunderers for church members. The man who wields the blood-clotted cowskin during the week fills the pul-

pit on Sunday, and claims to be a minister of the meek and lowly Jesus…He who sells my sister, for purposes of prostitution, stands forth as the pious advocate of purity. He who proclaims it a religious duty to read the Bible denies me the right of learning to read the name of the God who made me. He who is the religious advocate of marriage robs whole millions of its sacred influence…The warm defender of the sacredness of the family relation is the same that scatters whole families…leaving the hut vacant, and the hearth desolate.”

Douglass was also an ardent supporter and outspoken advocate for gender equality. At the 1848 Seneca Falls Convention, the first women’s rights convention in the United States, Douglass argued passionately (and successfully) for a resolution in favor of women’s suffrage. Douglass stated: “In [the] denial of the right (of women) to participate in government, not merely the degradation of woman and the perpetuation of a great injustice happens, but the maiming and repudiation of onehalf of the moral and intellectual power of the government of the world.” Douglass recognized the enormous obstacles women faced in advocating for equality, noting that he believed the public was more open to animal rights than the rights of women, and that advocates for gender equality faced “the fury of bigotry and the folly of prejudice.”

Shortly after the Seneca Falls convention, Douglass expounded on his views: “[I]n respect to political rights, we hold woman to be justly entitled to all we claim for man. We go far ther, and express [the] conviction that (continued on page 22)

Creating Your Own Interfaith Wedding themselves in order to find out who they are and what marriage is all about to them. It’s important to me that their ceremony reflects them, whether it’s a big wedding with family, friends, colleagues and community, or simply an elopement with just the two of them.

Weddings Reverend Elizabeth River When I first learned about creating wedding ceremonies to honor and mark the important transitions in life, I was captivated. I grew up Quaker, a member of the Society of Friends, and we didn’t celebrate life events in the way most religions do, with fanfare and rituals. Instead, these events were viewed as quiet expressions of a couple’s commitment and acknowledgment of God’s blessing of it.

When I was student at an interfaith seminary 11 years ago, I was exposed to the ways and forms of celebration and ritual in many cultures and religions. I was hooked! Over my first year or two, I developed a practice of helping couples to go deeply into

This was somewhat instinctual for me, as I had attended many weddings and had been, quite honestly, bored by the impersonal language, the rote statements of intentions and vows, and the old-fashioned words and phrases that gave no indication of what it was like for a particular couple to have found one another, and to be making longstanding vows.

The latter seemed so much more meaningful to me.

As an interfaith minister, I love marrying couples of different backgrounds: people from different religions, cultures, sexual preferences, creeds, and those with no religious or faith tradition. Simply put, my interfaith ministry is about helping people open up to what their own deepest truths are, and encouraging them to express and live them with their mate, fully and joyously.

I have the desire now, after 11 years of officiating weddings, to give public acknowledgment and gratitude to the woman who has had the greatest

influence on my interfaith wedding ministry. Her name is Reverend Susanna Stefanachi Macomb. She is from New York City, and her book about interfaith weddings, Joining Hands and Hearts: Interfaith, Intercultural Wedding Celebrations, A Practical Guide for Couples, became my guidebook. I refer many couples to this book as we collaborate to create unique ceremonies.

No matter who officiates your wedding, consider asking that person to help create a ceremony that reflects both you and your partner as individuals and as a couple. I recommend using Susanna’s wonderful book to help you in that effort. In the following video clip, Susanna beautifully expresses what I strive to do, in part, for the couples whom I marry: https://www.youtube. com/watch?v=_x0sKfRMnak And if you want to check out the results of this approach, please read some of the comments on my website: marincoastwedding.com Finally, as always, my great blessings to you on your wedding, and your marriage!

Reverend Elizabeth River is an ordained Interfaith Minister based in the North Bay. For more information, please visit marincoastweddings.com

Yes ! “ ”

Thinking about that special day?

Tell me about the wedding ceremony of your dreams.

Kevin Tripp, Officiant

KevinTrippWeddings.com (707) 478-7323

All Faiths, All Beliefs, All Couples BAY T IM ES AUGUS T 6, 2015

15

Don’t Shun the Spotlight

Astrology Gypsy Love It’s show time, lover! Cosmic curtains are drawing open and inviting you to step onstage.

Don’t shun the spotlight. You’ve been rigorously rehearsing, whether you realize it or not.

All is aligned to help you shine.

In fact, the next few weeks will furnish a myriad of opportunities to unleash your most creative mojo. Afraid of the naysayers? Nonsense! “Poor is the soul whose pleasure depends upon the permission of another.”

(Madonna)

ARIES (March 21–April 19) Was it good for you, Aries?

T he Un iver se yea r ns to bring business in your boudoir from a slow simmer to a boisterous boil. Communication is key! Talk about your turn-ons.

LEO ( July 23–Aug ust 22) “Carb up” on love, Leo! This growth spurt in your state of being requires tremendous TLC. Heart-centered habits provide fertile ground for precious dreams to f lourish.

SAGITTARIUS ( November 22–December 21) Defying limits has always been your forte.

But this cycle is something special, Sagittarius. Astral allies are lining up to lift you beyond measure. Face your fears, and f ly!

TAURUS (April 20–May 20) There’s no place like home, Taurus. Celestial signals urge you to sweeten your domestic dwelling now. Anoint your abode with friends and f lavors that foster pleasant vibes and positive growth.

VIRGO (August 23–September 22) Get in the zone, Virgo. Metaphysical messages enter from ever y direction now.

Take time to tune in daily. It’s high tide in the sea of your subconscious.

Go surfing!

CA PR ICOR N ( December 22–January 19) Cut your losses, Capricorn. Recent events have helped to clarify what it is you really want. Surrender your attachment to outdated desires, and feed what you know to be true.

LIBRA (September 23–October 22) Lead on, Libra! A loyal following is forming as you break new ground with big-time goals. Feeling sluggish? Step into the social scene for amusing inspiration and soulful support.

AQUARIUS ( January 20 – Febr u a r y 18 ) C he c k i n , Aquarius. Right now, you’re realizing the results of past efforts with important projects & partners.

Happy, honey? If not, it’s up to you to make joyful adjustments.

SCOR PIO (October 23– Career and reputation could catapult now, but there’s a catch. You must believe in what you’re selling, Scorpio. Only your most authentic aspirations are worthy of this much magic.

PISCES (February 19–March 20) Improve your practice, Pisces. Be on the lookout for opportunities to enhance your higher education. Tasks and teachers you encounter now will prove to have a profound inf luence on your public standing.

GEMINI (May 21–June 20) Move mindfully, Gemini.

The planets of love and luck are currently in cahoots to support even your most far-fetched fantasies. Thoughts and words become things. Choose the good ones.

CANCER ( June 21–July 22) Let’s face it, Cancer.

You don’t take comfort lightly, and nor should you! Yet, the stars suggest that you create space for silliness now. Place more value on playtime.

Gypsy Love Productions is dedicated to inspiring love and unity with music, dance, and astrology. www.GypsyLoveProductions.com

As Heard on the Street . . . Would you vote for President Obama if he could run in 2016?

compiled by Rink

Thomas Robert Simpson

Linda Livingston

Barak Shrama

Lenore Chinn

David Cannon

“Yes, I probably would, but I would like for the President to try to persuade Republicans to work with him.”

“Oh yes, I would vote for him.”

“I would vote for him except for his decisions that have threatened the security of Israel, and if he could get the support of the Republicans.”

“I don’t think that he would run again.”

“No, I want Arianna Huffington to run. Draft Arianna.”

Steven Underhill

PHOTOGRAPHY

415 370 7152

WEDDINGS, HEADSHOTS, PORTRAITS

stevenunderhill.com · stevenunderhillphotos@gmail.com 16

BAY TIM ES AUGU S T 6 , 2 0 1 5

#KateClinton

Fasten your seat belts.

It’s going to be a Trumpy ride.

Arts & Entertainment

‘Marlena’s Love Roast’ to Commemorate the 25th Anniversary of Marlena’s Reign

By Will Roscoe and Joel Evans The LGBT community is roasting Marlena the Magnificent, Absolute Empress XXV, on the 25th anniversary of her reign. Marlena (a.k.a. Garry McLain) is a San Francisco cultural icon and founder and owner of Marlena’s, the long-time bar, community gathering spot and fundraising nexus. Marlena’s was a crucial hub of community organizing that touched hundreds of lives, dozens of organizations and raised untold charitable dollars.

The event, which will take place on August 20 from 6–8pm at the San Francisco LGBT Community Center, features Donna Sachet as Emcee and is the 2nd annual José Sarria Community Celebration in honor and memory of José Sarria, The Widow Norton.

The annual event honors individuals who carry on the spirit of José’s service, activism and flair, while raising money for the work of Openhouse on behalf of LGBT seniors. The committee includes numerous figures from the Court System.

Originally from Modesto, Garry McLain worked for Carnation for 26 years. He first came to San Francisco in the 1960s, and was here in 1967 during the Summer of Love. In 1969, he moved to San Francisco and met José Sarria. They remained steadfast friends and colleagues until José’s death.

In 1971, Garry returned to Modesto, where he started the city’s first gay bar, the Brave Bull, in 1974. In 1976, he was elected Empress III Marlena of the Turquoise Owl Court. Following that reign, he moved back to San Francisco and become active in the San Francisco Imperial Court. He worked at many other places in San Francisco: Queen Mary (now Aunt Charlie’s), Mae, The Cinch, Kimo’s, and The Mint.

In 1990, he was elected Absolute Empress XXV. Her Most Imperial Majesty, The Queen Mother I of the Americas, Empress Nicole, bestowed the title “Marlena the Magnificent” on Marlena. The reign was one of the most popular and productive reigns of the era. Empress Marlena, Emperor Simeon, the Grand Duke and Grand Duchess, and Mr. and Miss Gay San Francisco all shared a float in the 1990 Lesbian & Gay Freedom Day. To this day, Marlena’s reign is the only one where all three courts shared a float. “There was so much camaraderie and working together that year,” Marlena recalls. “It was a fabulous year.”

In 1989, McClain and a partner purchased a bar on Hayes Street and renamed it Marlena’s. Over the next twenty-four years, Marlena’s was an anchor for the transformation of the neighborhood into a thriving entertainment and shopping destination. It also became one of the city’s premiere drag establishments, offering weekly shows that raised crucial dollars for community causes. Marlena’s also became the home bar for the Imperial and Ducal Courts, and was famous for its over-the-top holiday display (featuring some 1,400 Santa dolls). In 2002, Marlena launched the Mr. Hayes Valley Leather contest, which continued for eleven years until the bar closed in 2013.

As Marlena said at the first annual José Sarria Community Celebration in 2014: “We need to stand tall, to fight for our rights, but to do it with dignity and class.

José taught us who we are. Everyone on this stage and all of you are here because of him.”

It is fitting that the community honor Marlena for passion, capacity to organize and give back, and for love for the people of San Francisco.

Tickets for the August 20 event, and an opportunity to leave a tribute to Marlena, are available at www.openhouse-sf.org/marlena Joel Evans is the Director of Development and Marketing at the San Francisco-based nonprofit Openhouse, which focuses on housing, services and community for LGBT seniors. Will Roscoe in the organization’s Development Associate.

ILLUSTRATION BY AUGUSTUS GINNOCHIO

Expressions of Love and Admiration for Marlena China Silk, Empress XXXIX

Absolute

Photo © Gareth Gooch Photography 2015

“Marlena is a mother, an advisor; she’s your best friend. She’s a community godmother, nurturing us all over the years and decades, across our whole community. Her legacy is all of us, the people she’s touched. You don’t have to be a monarch, you can be just anyone off the streets, and she’s there to help you succeed, whether in the LGBT community in general, or in the Court System. She’s helped make our dreams come true: how not to be alone, how to be accepted.”

Paul Gabriel, Historian and Educational Consultant “Most people knew Marlena’s as just another business. But looking under the surface, that bar had a huge heart. Through the bar, Marlena gave back again and again. Gay bars are part of our core community narrative, fostering the origins of the Court System (back in a straight line to José Sarria and the Black Cat bar), the founding of the Tavern Guild, and the first places we could gather. When new people came to San Francisco, they met their friends at the bars and came out together. They took care of themselves when we were sick and dying. Marlena gave her life to that, turned her business over to it. She ran that bar like a nonprofit, gestating the Court System and keeping our heritage. Marlena’s was a safe place, a kinship network, with the imperial leadership in place as the parents, with protocols to share resources and care for each other. Marlena and her bar were right there when we needed it, and we’re very grateful.”

Collette LeGrande Ashton, Grand Duchess VII and XXXIII “Marlena was my mentor, and taught me how to be a leader. People thought I was a just a street girl because I was from the Tenderloin. But Marlena encouraged and helped me, and set an example. Her bar was probably the most community minded of the many bars in the city. If somebody was sick, she’d so something. If an organization needed funds, she’d do something.

There’ll never be another Marlena’s.”

Photo by Rink BAY T IM ES AUGUS T 6, 2015

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Absorbing New Documentary Best of Enemies Will Have You Riveted to the Screen

Film Gary M. Kramer The highly entertaining and extremely engaging documentary Best of Enemies presents the ten famous televised debates between Gore Vidal and William F. Buckley, Jr., during the 1968 presidential nominating conventions.

Directors Morgan Neville (20 Feet from Stardom) and Robert Gordon show how these compulsively watchable arguments “changed television forever.”

They provide astute portraits of both men—the “great debater” Buckley and the “great talker” Vidal—to show how evenly matched they were, and how much they despised one another.

The film builds to that famous heated moment in the 9th debate, where Buckley responds to Vidal calling him a “crypto-Nazi” by calling him a “queer.” It is breathtaking, even for folks who know or remember the moment.

Robert Gordon: I was raised with Buckley and Vidal in my consciousness. When I saw the debates in 2010, I was so struck by how contemporary they were, and how they anticipated the culture wars and articulated them so well.

Morgan Neville: We were transfixed by the debates and the characters of Vidal and Buckley themselves. It felt like a great drama being played by two intellectuals who understood how to play their characters. We intrinsically felt that these debates said something about news today and the role of commentary, but it wasn’t until we really got into working on the film that we realized just how deep this ran.

Gary M. Kramer: How did you prepare for the film?

Gordon spoke with me for the San Francisco Bay Times via phone, and Neville participated in an email exchange to discuss their film and the two public intellectuals whose arguments made them the Best of Enemies.

Morgan Neville: My first job after college was working as a fact checker for Gore at The Nation magazine. I knew his work and I knew his temperament. He wasn’t easy to work for. Buckley was someone I only knew as a TV fixture, almost a caricature.

Each man created a formidable amount of words throughout his life.

Part of the fun of making the film was going down the rabbit hole into their oeuvres.

Gary M. Kramer: What prompted you to make this film and use the Buckley-Vidal debates as the fulcrum for exploring the current state of affairs?

Robert Gordon: In 2010, it didn’t occur to me that most of the public would be unfamiliar with Buckley and Vidal. Very few people under 40 are familiar with these guys. As we grasped

that, we realized that the story needed a sense of history and context to place it, to explain these two guys.

Gary M. Kramer: How did you strive to make Best of Enemies so evenhanded, or is there a subtle favoritism?

Robert Gordon: We’ve had people believe it goes both ways. Look at how these guys are engaging to try to change people’s minds. The notion of a public intellectual is anathema today.

They are dueling in this verbal bloodsport to save the nation. The film is a eulogy to public intellectuals.

Morgan Neville: We decided from the start that we didn’t want to make a (continued on page 22)

Take It to the Floor

Style Courtney Lake It is odd to quote Yogi Berra when it comes to design, but he was on to something when he said, “If you don’t know where you are going, you’ll end up some place else.” Bare floors, empty walls and naked windows are an invitation for the imagination to run wild, and that is where the danger lies. Our imaginations start to fill in blank spaces with our proverbial wish list of furniture. A beautiful sectional gets neatly tucked into the corner of the room, while an oversized chandelier gets mentally hung in the center of the room for dramatic effect. Your existing coffee table gets placed in front of the sofa, and the wing back chairs you inherited are now flanking the fireplace. Now the question becomes: does any of this actually fit the space?

Regardless of whether you are moving into a new home or refreshing the look of a room in your home, drawing a furniture plan should be the first step.

Spending a few hours detailing the specific dimensions of the room will save you from countless headaches and costly mistakes.

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Should you be lucky enough to move into new construction, the builder may be able to provide scaled floor plans

that you can use when making interior design decisions. However, if you aren’t that lucky, there are several free and low-cost options available to create quick and easy floor plans: RoomScan (https://itunes.apple. com/app/roomscan/id571436618) This iTunes application ($0.99) allows you to use your iPhone to measure a room, including complex layouts with angled walls and sloping ceilings, simply by scanning the room with your camera. While not detailed, the program creates a usable set of dimensions for ensuring proper measurement for furniture placement. mydeco 3D (http://mydeco.floorplanner.com) You can utilize this free program either by pulling existing room templates, or by inputting your own dimensions to create rooms. mydeco 3D has teamed up with multiple furniture and accessory manufacturers so users can see what a specific piece of furniture will look like in a particular space.

HomeStyler (http://usa.autodesk. com/homestyler/) From the makers of AutoCAD, HomeStyler is a free online tool that gives a large amount of flexibility to homeowners looking to create detailed floor plans. Those familiar with professional programs like AutoCAD or Revit will enjoy the level of freedom this program gives users for creating comprehensive drawings.

When creating your floor plan, be sure to include the following additional information: • Window sill heights • Placement of electrical, phone and cable outlets • Heating vents • Door widths • Stair rail heights Not only will this information prove useful when creating your furniture plan, it will also ensure that whatever (continued on page 22)

Q&A with Dr. Warrick Stewart, Author of Don’t Give Up Before the Miracle Happens: A Relationship Guidebook for Same-Sex Couples relationship for some of the most common gay couple problems?

Dr. Warrick Stewart: Don’t give up before the miracle happens. Relationships are difficult and take work. My greatest accomplishments in life were a direct result of holding on, with a mind steadfast on actualizing my dreams into a reality.

Words Michele Karlsberg Michele Karlsberg: How long have you been doing couples counseling and relationship work?

Dr. Warrick Stewart: I have been a Psychotherapist for more than six years. The majority of my work has been centered around relationships, particularly gay and lesbian relationships.

Michele Karlsberg: How did you decide that you actually wanted to write a relationship guidebook?

Dr. Warrick Stewart: After working with couples for so long, I wanted to create a roadmap that would assist couples in resolving core relationship issues found in both heterosexual and homosexual unions. In my practice, I found that many couples could not afford long-term counseling, and after a few sessions, they would often have to scale back their services at that pivotal moment when change was just beginning. I wanted the work to continue even after leaving my office.

Michele Karlsberg: When did you notice that you find pleasure helping others reach their goals?

Dr. Warrick Stewart: I always knew that I had a special ability to help people and to present sensitive information in such a way that was not offensive. I also knew that I was gay and had faced many challenges in my personal life; however, I was able to triumph through adversity. I wanted to share my experiences, strength, and hope with others, especially those that had been traditionally marginalized. Today, I get to do that. I get the opportunity to love people until they are able to love themselves.

Michele Karlsberg: What are the most pressing relationship issues in the LGBT community?

Dr. Warrick Stewart: The most pressing relationship issue would be communication issues. There are also many other issues such as, poor conflict resolution skills, unrealistic expectations, skewed perceptions of reality, strained intimacy, and unequally yoked coupling.

Michele Karlsberg: What are some suggestions you have for maintaining a

Michele Karlsberg: What ingredients constitute a healthy gay relationship that couples can aspire towards?

Dr. Warrick Stewart: 1. 5 cups of healthy verbal and nonverbal communication 2. 3 cups of intimacy 3. 2 cups of self-acceptance 4. A lifetime of willingness 5. Two people that love each other, faults and all, and are willing not to give up before the miracle happens in their life

Photo credit: Dream Photography Group, LLC

Michele Karlsberg: Why do you think so many people need help with relationships? You would think it would be a natural thing, but most people seem to need expert advice.

Dr. Warrick Stewart: Because people have been a witness to so many unhealthy relationships, they naturally emulate what they have always seen.

Most of the time, we feel that we have the answers, and if our partners would just listen, the relationship would be much better. We also feel that our experiences have strategically positioned us to be subject matter experts on relationships. We enter our relationships completely convinced that our way of dong things is the absolute best way. We are unwilling to embrace new ideas for better living. We find it difficult to acquiesce to our partners because we want to be right all the time. These variables make for an unhealthy relationship. Although they may seem extreme, it is what I see in my practice on a daily basis.

Michele Karlsberg: Do younger people, both straight and gay, really seem to pay more attention and examine their relationships? It seems to be they are having very successful relationships. What are some generational differences?

Dr. Warrick Stewart: The dynamics of relationships have changed drastically over the years. Younger people are coming into therapy because they want their relationships to work. I work with more couples that are under 30 than any other age group.

Michele Karlsberg: What inspired you want to devote so much of your career to helping people with their relationships?

Dr. Warrick Stewart: I want people to live better. I believe if we ‘do what

we’ve always done, we will get what we always gotten.’ Although simplistic, it is incredibly true for both homosexual and heterosexual relationships.

Michele Karlsberg: What are some differences between LGBT couples and heterosexual couples, aside from the gender role things?

Dr. Warrick Stewart: I think universally we are all the same. The difference lies in our sexual desires.

Michele Karlsberg: What do you hope people take away from your writing?

Dr. Warrick Stewart: I want people to feel compelled to practice these tips in their own relationships. I want people to know that they can have prosperous and healthy relationships, but they must be willing to do the work.

Dr. Warrick Stewart is a relationship expert, psychotherapist, life coach, author and speaker.

For more information about Dr. Stewart, his work and his new book, please visit http:// drwarrickstewart.com/ Michele Karlsberg Marketing and Management specializes in publicity for the LGBT community. This year, Karlsberg celebrates twenty-six years of successful book campaigns.

The windows of the new canine accessories and home comfort store Dogo Love on Castro Street Photo by Rink

Wednesdays: what’s for dinner? $10 DINNER

SPECIAL MENU Michael & Wendy invite you to come for dinner at Sweet Inspiration $10 special price does not include drinks and dessert.

Sweet Inspiration Bakery Cafe

2239 Market Street, San Francisco 415/621-8664 sweetinspirationbakery.com BAY T IM ES AUGUS T 6, 2015

19

See many more Calendar items @ www.sfbaytimes.com

compiled by Robert Fuggiti

• 6 : T HURSDAY

Queer Ancestors Art Exhibition - LGBT Center. Free.

6 pm to 8:30 pm. (1800 Market St.) An exhibition of prints by queer artists Age 18 to 26. August 2 through September 23. www.sfcenter.org Martin Meeker - Tenderloin Museum. $5. 6 pm. (398 Eddy St.) Martin Meeker, author of Contacts Desired: Gay and Lesbian Communications and Community, 1940s-1970s, will speak on the rise of the gay Tenderloin. www.tenderloinmuseum.org Raven’s Touch - Victoria Theater. $15. 7 pm. (2916 16th St.) Watch the film, meet the stars and attend the afterparty with DJ and cash bar. www.brownpapertickets.com

• 7 : F RIDAY

Outside Lands - Golden Gate Park. $135+. 11 am to 10 pm. Three days of music, food, wine, beer, comedy and art, with headline perfomance by Elton John! August 7-9. www.sfoutsidelands.com Cracking the Music Ceiling: Why Women Matter - The Commonwealth Club. Free for members/$20 non-members. 12 pm. (555 Post St.) Prize-winning music composer Lisa Bielawa will talk about women’s experiences in music careers. www.commonwealthclub.org First Friday Storytime with China Jones - Books Inc. Free. 3 pm. (2275 Market St.) First Friday Storytime proudly presents special guest reader (and Books Inc.

“The Phantom of the Opera” will be at the Orpheum Theatre August 19 – October 4.

Children’s Book Specialist) China Jones for a reading of her delightful picture book, Alex and the Lion. www.booksinc.net

• 8 : S ATURDAY

Living in the Shadows of Exclusion - SF Public Library. Free.

1 pm. (100 Larkin St.) A free screening of one of the few docu-

mentaries to focus on Asian American LGBT families, four longtime couples speak out on Marriage Equality in the face of California’s virulent Proposition 8 campaign. www.shadowsofexclusion.com Rosewoode - Take 5 Cafe. Free.

7:30 pm. (3130 Sacramento St., Berkeley) The acoustic trio Rosewoode presents powerful original songs and cover tunes from the 16th to the 21st century. www.take5cafe.net Showgirls - Castro Theatre. $32.

8 pm. (429 Castro St.) Peaches Christ ‘s 18th annual screening of Showgirls, with special pre-show celebration. www.castrotheatre.com

• 9 : S UNDAY

Women’s Golf Retreat Chardonnay Golf Club. $549. (2555 Jameson Canyon Rd, American Canyon) Enjoy a two day retreat including all instruction, golf, cart, lunches and range balls. August 8-9. www.rebeckaheinmert.com/retreat Company - SF Playhouse. $20. 2 pm. (450 Post St.) Steven Sondheim’s game-changing musical is a sophisticated and honest look at modern, adult relationships.

Through September 12. www.sfplayhouse.org Love and Information – American Conservatory Theater. $40-$100. 7:30 pm. (415 Geary St.) An acclaimed new play that features 57 brief yet memorable scenes that make up a world where data inspires obsession, and FaceTime conversations threaten to replace human contact. Closing Night. www.act-sf.org

• 10 : M ONDAY

GGBA Events Committee 20

BAY TIM ES AUGU S T 6 , 2 0 1 5

Illy Coffee. Free. 7:30 am to 9 am.

(2349 Market St.) Members of GGBA are invited to join a planning committee for future GGBA events. www.ggba.org In Silence - Lakeside Theater. $14.

12:30 pm. (3200 Grand Ave., Oakland) Part of the Jewish Film Festival, In Silence, is a visually poetic, music-filled portrait of the prewar brilliance and concentration camp travails of five Czech and Slovak Jewish musicians. www.sfjff.org Married Once Gay Men’s Support Group - SF LGBT Center. Free. (1800 Market St.) This is a support group for men who have or had significant heterosexual relationships and who are also attracted to men. www.sfcenter.org

• 11 : T UESDAY

GLBT Caregiver – SFSU Campus. Free. 1:30 pm. (1600 Holloway St.) www.sfsu.edu. A support group to discuss issues among gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered caregivers of people with Alzheimer’s.

August Make Contact GGBA. Free for members/$25 nonmembers. 6 pm to 8 pm. (1300 Fillmore St.) The GGBA invites you to a memorable evening of networking and jazz music. www.ggba.chambermaster.com Matilda the Musical Orpheum Theatre. $45-$120. 8 pm.

(1192 Market St.) The Tony Awardwinning Matilda the Musical is the story of an extraordinary girl who dreams of a better life. Through August 15. www.shnsf.com

• 12 : W EDNESDAY

Wednesday Matinee – Openhouse. Free. 2 pm. (225 30th

St.) Enjoy an evening of LGBTthemed films every 2nd Wednesday. www.openhouse-sf.org.

Music of Remembrance - The Commonwealth Club. $8 for members/$20 non-members. 6 pm. (555 Post St.) Jake Heggie and Music of Remembrance’s Mina Miller will share musical examples and a preview of Heggie’s compelling new opera Out of Darkness, slated for its world premiere in Seattle and San Francisco next May. www.commonwealthclub.org Last Drag - SF LGBT Center.

Free. 7 pm. (1800 Market St.) The Last Drag is a free quit smoking class for LGBT and HIV positive smokers who are ready to become nonsmokers. www.sfcenter.org

• 13 : T HURSDAY

The Man in the Ceiling - Lucie Stern Theatre. $19. 3 pm. (1305 Middlefield Rd., Palo Alto) Part of TheatreWorks, New Works Festival, The Man in the Ceiling is based on the illustrated novel by Jules Feiffer. www.theatreworks.org Love Me Tenderloin Tenderloin Museum. $5. 6:30 pm.

(398 Eddy St.) Join friends of the Tenderloin Museum for a screening of Henri Quenette’s documentary film about the most vibrant neighborhood in San Francisco. www.tenderloinmuseum.org Switch Tango Class - SF LGBT Center. Free. 7 pm. (1800 Market St.) A queer-led, all-welcome free class and practice session of Argentine tango. www.sfcenter.org

• 14 : F RIDAY

Nicholas McGegan: Baroque Music Matters - The Commonwealth Club. $7 for members/$20 non-members.12:30 pm.

(555 Post St.) Kate van Orden, professor of music at Harvard University, sits down with Nicholas McGegan, who is increasingly recognized for his probing and revelatory explorations of music of all periods. www.commonwealthclub.org

www.commonwealthclub.org

Friday Nights at the de Young – de Young Museum. $11. 6 pm to 8:45 pm. (50 Hagiwara Tea Garden Dr.) Enjoy the museum in a fun, festive and dynamic atmosphere with live music and cocktails. www.deyoung.famsf.org

• 18 : T UESDAY

• 15 : S ATURDAY

Oh No, There’s Men on the Land - The Marsh. $15-$100. 5 pm.

(2120 Allston Way) August 15 through October 3. ly 2015) – Karen Ripley’s new solo show Oh No,There’s Men on the Land takes audiences on a wild ride through her mishaps, adventures, and self-discovery as a young lesbian in 1970’s Berkeley. www.themarsh.org Lesbian Fiction Writers Laurel Bookstore. Free. 7 pm. (1423 Broadway, Oakland) Laurel Bookstore will be hosting lesbian fiction writers Missouri Vaun, Kathleen Knowles, and Julie Blair. www.laurelbookstore.com

• 19 : W EDNESDAY Smack Dab Open Mic Night – Magnet. Free. 8 pm. (4122 18th St.) An open mic night for all with host Larry-bob Roberts. www.magnetsf.org

Gay Comedy Sketch – Mark I. Chester Studio. Free. 6:30 pm.

(1229 Folsom St.) A queer comedy show featuring the best in Bay Area talent. www.markichester.com

Phantom of the Opera - $45. 8 pm. (1192 Market St.) Enjoy an updated production that is ready to thrill audiences! August 19 through October 4. www.shnsf.com

Transwomen Support Group – SF LGBT Center. Free. 7 pm.

(1800 Market St.) Monthly support group meeting on the 3rd Tuesday of each month. www.sfcenter.org.

Breaking the Code – Eureka Theatre. $10. 8 pm. (215 Jackson St.) Breaking the Code by Hugh Whitemore is a gripping biographical drama about homosexual scientist Alan Turing. August 5-29. www.therhino.org

Beach Blanket Babylon – Club Fugazi. $25-$130. 8 pm. (678 Green St.) Enjoy Steve Silver’s famous musical revue packed with current

PCFMA's PHOTO CONTEST returns this August!

Submit your photo to lovemymarket@pcfma.org or post the photo on your public Instagram or Facebook page using #lovemyPCFMAmarket between August 1st and August 31st. We have three grand prizes including a one night stay for two at the Capay Valley Bed & Breakfastt and tickets to the nearby Hoes Down Festival at Full Belly Farm!

August is also Live Music Month at the Castro Farmers’ Market! We have an array of local performers including Suzanne Holland, Mama Mia, Lily Holbrook, and Chris Clarke & Co. coming out. Stop by the market to enjoy some sweet summertime tunes!

Turn in your PCFMA post card to receive $2 worth of CARROT CASH to spend on anything at the market!

Stay just 30 feet from the ocean!

Low-season rates ($1040/week) until 12/15

Summer and fall dates still available VRBO properties #308090 and #359614

MARKET MATCH! Don't forget to use your CalFresh dollars at the market and get a match up to $10 for additional money to spend on seasonal fruits and veggies.

pcfma.com/castro

1.800.949.FARM F

fb.com/castrofarmersmarket

DESIGN : LOGOMAN : logomantotherescue.com

Singalong Wizard of Oz Castro Theatre. $16. 7 pm. (429 Castro St.) A screening of the classic MGM musical in glorious Technicolor, complete with subtitles so that the whole audience can sing along! www.castrotheatre.com

Shania Twain - SAP Center. $45+. 7:30 pm. (625 West Santa Clara St., San Jose) Female vocalist Shania Twain comes to the Bay Area for one night only. www.news.shaniatwain.com

pop culture and political antics. www.beachblanketbabylon.com

Restraint & Revolution American Steel Studios. $20. 7:30 pm. (1960 Mandela Parkway, Oakland) Restraint & Revolution, the vibrant portrait collection by evocative realist painter Rose Adare, explores the last taboos of the 21st century, from sex and sexuality, gender, age, body modification, disability, artistic expression and spiritual identity. www.roseadare.com Summer Party & Last Dance - Montclair Women’s Cultural Arts Club. $25. 7 pm to 11 pm. (1650 Mountain Blvd., Oakland) Hosted

by Boo, Betty and Jen, this will be a rockin’ good evening and final public dance at the historic Montclair Women’s Cultural Arts Club.

415-601-2113

• 16 : S UNDAY

Block Party - Sunday Streets.

Free. 11 am to 4 pm. (Mission Street between Theresa and Geneva) For 5 hours, the streets will be transformed into a safe space for community to gather, kids to play, and neighbors to socialize. www.sundaystreetssf.com Lesbian Writing Workshop The Pacific Center. $250. 3 pm to 5:30 pm. (2712 Telegraph Ave., Berkeley) Join Elana Dykewomon for an 8-week writing from life experiences workshop.

510-562-2605.

• 17 : M ONDAY

LGBTQ Buddhist Meditation - SF LGBT Center. Free. 5:30 pm.

(1800 Market St.) Explore mindfulness, meditation, and spiritual practice while focusing on cultivating an open awareness. www.sfcenter.org The Music of Cinema - The Commonwealth Club. $7 for members/$20 non-members. 6 pm. (555 Post St.) Scott Foglesong, Chair, Department of Musicianship and Music Theory, San Francisco Conservatory of Music, will give a multimedia presentation on film music.

A program of The Richmond/Ermet AIDS Foundation

Resource Guide to over 250 SF LGBT nonprofits, arts and athletic groups and their events BAY T IM ES AUGUS T 6, 2015

21

ROSTOW (continued from page 13) to the gas station to get me a copy, but I’ll maintain my subscription for now on principle.

I’m not excited about the remaining stories on my list: The tragic death of a 16-year-old girl, stabbed by a religious fanatic at Jerusalem Pride.

A lawsuit by reactionary sportscaster Craig James against Fox Sports, which hired him briefly, but dropped him due to his “polarizing” attitudes.

An antigay Iowa couple who plan to pay for 1,000 nasty billboards. The news that one of Bill Cosby’s victims was a lesbian. (So much for his selfproclaimed ability to sense when women found him attractive.) A study that shows people’s subconscious attitudes towards gays have improved over the years, but not as much as their conscious attitudes. Oh, and Houston voters will most likely weigh in on the city’s gay civil rights bill un-

SISTER DANA (continued from page 9) der a court order that I don’t understand and don’t feel like exploring.

I don’t know. They sound okay newswise, but I only have a little space left and I’d rather float home on the current than swim to shore. I’d rather complain about the Liberty insurance ads that criticize the “other” insurance companies that won’t give you the full value of your new car even though it hasn’t had its first oil change.

Hey, bro. The minute you drive the car off the lot it starts to depreciate.

If you smashed it so badly that the repair job is more than the almostnew value, then you’ve pummeled the thing. Presumably it was your fault too, since if not, the other guy’s insurance would pay for it. So stop whining about car insurance and pay attention to your driving.

This commercial has been bothering me. arostow@aol.com

DUNNING (continued from page 4) crat (aka Lefty) or a Moderate Democrat (aka Republican)?

didn’t vote the way the progressives wanted her to vote.

I resist answering this question of whether I am Progressive or Moderate because I don’t like labels, and I feel it is a lazy shortcut to try and stereotype and categorize someone without delving into specific positions or issues. My standard response was, and still is, that I am solutions-oriented; it depends on the issue in question.

For some policy issues, my perspective and solutions may be considered quite progressive, and for others, more moderate. Still, many aren’t satisfied with my equivocation. “But what are you mostly?”

I love the Democratic Party, and I enjoy most aspects of serving on the DCCC. It is becoming increasingly divisive, though, as members attack one another and propose resolutions intended to create division and force votes on controversial legislation. At our last meeting, a member dramatically jumped up in protest, tossing her chair to the ground (the move has lost its effect on me, since this is the third time I’ve seen her do this). Even a recent resolution calling for the DCCC to treat the public and one another with respect was controversial, with a long drawn out debate.

I have to keep reminding myself we are all Democrats.

Well, it seems I am categorized mostly as a Moderate (in San Francisco terms). What I have discovered these past several years is that the leadership of the Progressive movement in SF is pretty insistent that, to wear the title of Progressive, you have to vote 100% in alignment with the Progressive agenda and positions. Should you deviate from their blueprint, you are no longer part of the Progressive family.

In the 2012 DCCC race in AD17, both David Chiu and Leah Pimentel retained their seats running on the Progressive Slate. Leah was even appointed to the DCCC by a heavyweight leader of the Progressives, Aaron Peskin. When they didn’t vote the (Progressive) party line, they were ostracized. David Chiu was accused nonstop during his 2014 Assembly campaign of being a right-wing moderate. Leah was physically assaulted by a pro-Mission Moratorium supporter following a heated DCCC meeting this past May where she

San Francisco politics has always been full of personalities and rough and tumble battles, but this city needs real solutions to significant challenges: skyrocketing housing costs, broken transit, and increasing crime, to name a few. I hope we can come together as a party, and as a city, to find opportunities for collaboration, and focus our energy on solutions, rather than looking for ways to “take down” the “other side.” Right now, there is too much at stake for us to waste time on petty infighting and labels.

Zoe Dunning is a retired Navy Commander and was a lead activist in the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. She currently serves as the 1st Vice Chair of the San Francisco Democratic Party, as a San Francisco Library Commissioner, and as Co-Chair of the Board of Directors for the Alice B. Toklas LGBT Democratic Club.

Room, 450 Powell Street on Sunday, August 9th. A decade of dragelegance!

The event will start with cocktails and socializing. Doors open at 7pm, show at 8pm with all six regular cast members: Donna Sachet, Holotta Tymes, Cassandra Cass, Lady Tia, Kendra Monroe, and Mahlae Balenciaga. Benefitting Pets Are Wonderful Support (PAWS). eventbrite.com/e/sundays-a-drag10th-anniversary-gala THE SAN FRANCISCO TRANSGENDER FILM FESTIVAL (SFTFF) returns to the Roxie Theater for their 2015 Festival – a stellar weekend of transgender films. The San Francisco Transgender Film Festival was founded in 1997 as North America’s first transgender film festival. They exhibit groundbreaking, provocative, outrageous, courageous, moving, and innovative works that show the complexity of lives lived on the transgender spectrum. SFTFF is now seeking entries for their 2015 Festival (November 12-15, 2015). SFTFF accepts narrative, documentary, experimental, animated films, and music videos. All work should be created by transgender/genderqueer people.

They accept feature length and short

films. Please only submit ONE film.

The deadline is August 31st. sftff.org/ submissions M A R L E NA’S L OV E ROA S T: A CEL EBR ATION OF A SA N FRANCISCO ICON is Thursday, August 20th, 6pm at the SF LGBT Community Center, 1800 Market Street. It’s a benefit for LGBT Openhouse seniors. Through her service as Absolute Empress XXV, decades of charity events at her popular bar, and her sponsorship of the Mr. Hayes Valley Leather title, Marlena has made our community stronger and more vibrant. We will toast and roast the contributions of José Sarria’s special friend and San Francisco icon, Garry McClain, a.k.a. Marlena the Magnificent - on the 25th anniversary of her reign. openhouse-sf.org SA N F R A NCISCO LESBI A N, GAY, BISEXUAL, TRANSGENDER PR IDE CELEBR ATION COMMITTEE, INC. is looking for a public vote of fabulousness. Each year, our community gets the opportunity to vote for the best of the best of the 2015 Pride Parade. The winner will be presented at their Check Granting Party on Saturday,

August 29th. The 2015 nominees for the A BSOLUTELY FA BULOUS OVERALL CONTINGENT award are: Straights for Gay Rights; Kamala Harris, CA Attorney General; Rhythm and Motion Dance Program and ODC School; Latinos de Ambiente; and Batala San Francisco. To vote: http://sfpride.org/parade/parade-awards.html At this event, they will also be providing grants to the 2015 beneficiaries of the Community Partners Program.

Community Partners are nonprofit organizations based in the nine counties of the Bay Area whose missions involve service to LGBTQ communities, animal welfare, people living with HIV/AIDS, cancer, or homelessness.

Sister Dana sez, “August 6th is the 50th anniversary of the Voting Rights Act, but we will not be celebrating because two years ago, the Supreme Court eviscerated a key protection of the landmark voting rights legislation. Fortunately, our allies in Congress, led

by Rep. John Lewis and Sen. Patrick Leahy, have introduced the Voting Rights Advancement Act (VRAA), which aims to fix the problems caused by the Supreme Court.”

WEDDINGS (continued from page 15) all political rights that it is expedient for man to exercise, it is equally so for woman. All that distinguishes man as an intelligent and accountable being, is equally true of woman; and if that government only is just which governs by the free consent of the governed, there can be no reason in the world for denying to woman the exercise of the elective franchise, or a hand in making and administering the laws of the land.

Our doctrine is that ‘right is of no sex.’”

These words resonate with today’s movement for LGBT equality. By virtue of the Supreme Court’s Obergefell

marriage equality this June, the right to marry is no longer contingent upon the sex of the spouses. But Douglass went much further. In 1848 he wrote: “Standing as we do upon the watchtower of human freedom, we cannot be deterred from an expression of our approbation of any movement, however humble, to improve and elevate the character of any members of the human family.”

We believe that Douglass’s words leave little doubt that he would have been a strong supporter of LGBT freedom and equality had it been possible for our movement to have existed in his

KRAMER (continued from page 18) film about the arguments, as much as make a film about how we argue. It’s the meta-conversation that seemed most important. What does TV do to how we deal with people in a democracy? What role does it play in what brings us together and what divides us? We also wanted to portray a relationship, not a full biography of each man. At some level, we felt we had to empathize with each of them to understand that.

Gary M. K ramer: How much do you think Vidal’s sexuality played into his celebrity and Buckley’s hatred?

from the start. Vidal’s sexuality was in deep conf lict with Buckley’s preVatican II Catholicism. Vidal enjoyed this, though he embraced the radicalness of his moral ideas more than playing on his sexuality directly.

Vidal did needle Buckley about his own sexuality. I think he did this not thinking about the politics or message of it, but rather because he thought it would rattle Buckley. And it did.

Oddly, through his wife, Buckley became friendly with a large circle of gay New Yorkers. He was, by most accounts, a fairly tolerant person is his private life. Vidal had a special role as his bete noire.

Morgan Neville: There was gay baiting in the debates by both men

Gary M. Kramer: Why do you think the two men were so good

day. Today, Douglass’s words and deeds continue to inspire us and set an example for our community as we continue the struggle for full LGBT equality. And today, we as LGBT people have the opportunity to heed Douglass’ call to support any movement “to improve and elevate the character of any members of the human family.”

John Lewis and Stuart Gaffney, together for three decades, were plaintiffs in the California case for equal marriage rights decided by the California Supreme Court in 2008. They are leaders in the nationwide grassroots organization Marriage Equality USA.

together? Was it because they brought out the worst in the other?

Robert Gordon: There are qualities in each that are to be admired.

One aspect of this is, and what attracted me: the high minded on the low road. That’s what gets them. You think they’d stay out of name-calling, but that’s where they ended up. © 2015 Gary M. Kramer Gary M. Kramer is the author of “Independent Queer Cinema: Reviews and Interviews,” and the co-editor of “Directory of World Cinema: Argentina.” Follow him on Twitter @garymkramer

COURTNEY (continued from page 18)

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BAY TIM ES AUGU S T 6 , 2 0 1 5

furniture you do end up purchasing will be able to make it into the room.

More often than not, stores receive frantic calls from buyers in a state of panic that they didn’t measure to confirm that their new sofa could fit up the stairs or through the door.

different feeling rooms.

With a scaled floor plan in hand, now it’s time to create a furniture plan, which is essentially a map of where you plan on placing your furniture pieces in the room. Depending on the application used, you may be able to download a scaled replica of your furniture into the system. If not, there is no need to make elaborate replicas of the pieces—simple squares, rectangles and circles will do. Playing with the same furniture pieces, but in different configurations, can lead to drastically

• Ideally, you should allow for three feet (36 inches) of space to be used as an aisle between two pieces of furniture or a wall.

Here are a few guidelines to follow when creating your furniture plan: • On average you’ll need 12 inches of space between a coffee table and a sofa.

• Rugs look best when they are given at least 12 inches of breathing space from a wall.

• To find the best distance for television viewing, use the industry standard, which calls for multiplying the TV screen size by 1.2 (minimum distance) and 1.9 (maximum distance). Then divide the result by 12

to get the right number of feet. For instance, the best viewing distance for a 55” set would be approximately 5.5 feet.

By giving yourself a detailed floor plan, you allow yourself the creative freedom to explore the optimal potential of a room while diminishing the chances of costly mistakes!

Courtney Lake is the interior designer and lifestyle expert behind Monogram Décor (www.monogramdecor.com) and its celebrated blog, Courtney Out Loud. His work and writings have appeared on television and in writing including Today.com, “The Wall Street Journal,” “The Nate Berkus Show,” “The San Francisco Chronicle,” “Life & Style Magazine,” “RUE Magazine,” “Real Simple,” “This Old House” and “7x7 Magazine.”

Round About - REAF’s Help Is On The Way XXI Photos by Rink and Jim Norrena for REAF

Richmond Ermet Aid Foundation’s perennially popular Help Is On the Way was presented on Sunday, July 26, at the Palace of Fine Arts auditorium.

Featuring a pre-event Gala Reception and After Party with the Cast, the evening showcased a line-up of stars including Broadway and film stars John Lloyd Young, Constantine Maroulis, Loretta Devine, Jai Rodriguez, Carole Cook and Susan Anton. TV and recording stars appearing included Kimberley Locke, Scott Nevius, Jake Simpson and Lindsay Pearce; and local cabaret and jazz stars Paula West, Sony Holland and more.

Congratulations to Ken Henderson, Joe Seiler and the entire Board and team of volunteers on another fabulous benefit event. Beneficiaries for Help Is On The Way XXI are Meals On Wheels of San Francisco and the San Francisco AIDS Foundation.

PHOTO BY JIM NORRENA

BAY T IM ES AUGUS T 6, 2015

PHOTO BY RINK

PHOTO BY RINK PHOTO BY RINK

PHOTO BY RINK

PHOTO BY JIM NORRENA

PHOTO BY JIM NORRENA

PHOTO BY RINK

PHOTO BY JIM NORRENA PHOTO BY JIM NORRENA PHOTO BY RINK

PHOTO BY RINK

PHOTO BY JIM NORRENA

PHOTO BY JIM NORRENA

PHOTO BY JIM NORRENA

PHOTO BY RINK

PHOTO BY RINK

PHOTO BY RINK

PHOTO BY JIM NORRENA

Thank you to Alexandra Alznauer and Ruth Linden of Tree of Life Health Advocates and Coldwell Banker real estate expert Katharine Holland of the San Francisco Good Life Team who represented the San Francisco Bay Times and “Betty’s List” at the gala.

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San Francisco Bay Times

Saturday, August 15 7–11pm Montclair Women’s Cultural Arts Club 1650 Mountain Blvd Oakland Featuring Rhonda Benin and her rockin’ band, plus a special appearance by Linda Tillery Honoring San Francisco Bay Times Pride Contingent Members

Tickets: $25 plus handling ($1.87)

Catering by Extreme Pizza, Cash Bar

A limited number of tickets to this event will be on sale.

For information, call 415-601-2113 or e-mail: Publisher@sfbaytimes.com