San Francisco Bay Times - December 5, 2019

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LGBTQ News & Calendar for the Bay Area

CELEBRATING FOUR DECADES (1978–2019) December 5–18, 2019 | http://sfbaytimes.com

s ’ y r r e J & Tom

PHOTO BY JO-LYNN OTTO

N OT TO PHOTO BY JO-LYN

t e e r t S t s 1 2 n o e l c a Mir

PHOTO COURTESY OF JEROME GOLDSTEIN

See pages 16–17

Two Impeachments and a Moment of Truth: Are the Democrats Winning?

To the Left, To the Left Peter Gallotta For many of us, the impeachment hearings taking place in the House of Representatives have been like a holiday gift come early. After 3 years of agonizing waiting, it feels like we finally have a process for addressing Trump’s wrongdoings. We finally have mounting public testimony and evidence that the President put personal interests over the interests of the country. We finally have the upper hand when it comes to the truth.

Well, not so fast. Would Republicans ever give Democrats a win? If they didn’t allow President Obama to appoint Merrick Garland to the Supreme Court, they certainly aren’t going to let Democrats own the impeachment narrative. In fact, they

ater used to generate content that immediately becomes part of the proTrump propaganda machine.

The result is a tale of two impeachments.

So, as the Democrats try to win on the merits of their case, Republicans may actually be winning in the court of public opinion, feeding millions of viewers a counter-narrative completely and utterly bereft of reality. And what they are saying—on repeat, on loop, and on Twitter—is this: Russia’s meddling in the 2016 election was actually a hoax orchestrated by the Democrats to cover up their own collusion with the Ukraine to stop Trump’s campaign.

On the one hand, you have Congressional Democrats who are committed to a fact-finding mission. They have approached the impeachment process with the intention of unearthing the truth about whether President Trump sought a “quid pro quo” deal with the Ukraine. They are making a strong public case, bringing forward credible witnesses to testify, and focusing the inquiry on the President’s dealings with Ukraine, where there is demonstrable misconduct.

The Republicans, on the other hand, have chosen an alternative path: total deception. If you have been watching the impeachment hearings, you may have noticed this. GOP Congressmembers like Devin Nunes (R-CA) have been interrogating key witnesses before the House Intelligence Committee not on the facts but on baseless conspiracy theories that blame Democrats for what happened in the Ukraine. While it might seem somewhat bizarre or confusing, it’s actually deliberate. These brief, recorded exchanges between Congressmember and witness become moments that can be turned into Fox News segments or shared as Facebook or Twitter posts. It’s pure political the-

Are you scratching your head yet?

Because you can’t make this stuff up.

Unless you’re a Republican, apparently.

While we all know that Fox News has never had a penchant for real news, they do have a real platform. With an average daily audience of 1.7 million viewers, Fox News had its highest-rated week of the year and its best ratings since last year’s midterms during November’s impeachment hearings, according to BuzzFeed.

Hosts like Sean Hannity continue to rail against the Democrats, minimizing the testimony provided as hearsay, and blaming the Democrats for going after Trump simply because they disagree with him. He’s even called the hearings an “embarrassment” for the whole country.

Whether we want to recognize it or not, his version of the impeachment proceedings is what many Americans are following.

And this is only compounded by the fact that social media has become yet another vortex of political misinformation. Even if Americans aren’t tuning in directly to the impeachment hearings, they are likely being fed misleading information about it online. That’s because social media platforms are continuing to take a laissez-faire approach to information policing. When you are talking about thousands to millions of users reached, the consequence is not marginal. Disinformation becomes a real threat.

Right now, the Democrats are trying to shine a light through the darkness of Republican propaganda and the online misinformation machine to win their case against Trump.

Their pursuit goes beyond a constitutional obligation to country. It is, in fact, a deeply moral one. How does a democracy survive if we cannot determine the truth?

If House Democrats are going to vote for impeachment in December, as

41st Vigil and Candlelight Walk for Milk and Moscone The 41st Harvey Milk and George Moscone Vigil and Candlelight Walk was held on November 27 from 7 pm to 9 pm. Organized by the Harvey Milk Democratic Club, the event—held annually to mark the day in 1978 when Milk and Moscone were slain— included words from Club President Kevin Bard and Coordinator Stephen Torres. An audio-visual program was followed by a procession to the site of Castro Camera (575 Castro Street), where remembrances were shared.

Participants then marched from Castro Street to Harvey Milk Plaza. Photographer Dan Nicoletta this year provided photos of Milk and Moscone that were available at the Club’s website. Many printed the images and brought them, along with candles and flowers, to carry in memoriam.

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are doing everything in their power to spin it, flip it, and reverse it at every opportunity.

I believe they should, they need to deliver a message to the American people that makes the case—and the evidence—crystal clear. They cannot let the pro-Trump machine beat them in the court of public opinion. Over 70% of Americans believe the President’s actions with Ukraine were “wrong.” There is only one impeachment story here. This is the Democrats’ moment of truth, and they need a win.

Peter Gallotta is a 30-something LGBT political activist holding on to the city that he loves thanks to rent control and two-for-one happy hour specials. He is a former President of the Harvey Milk LGBTQ Democratic Club and currently serves as an appointed member of the San Francisco Democratic County Central Committee and an elected delegate to the California Democratic Party.

Photos by Rink

For Pete’s Sake, Mayor Pete

Cross Currents Andrea Shorter Breaking News: The first openly LGBT Democratic candidate running for the office of President of the United States is surging in the polls. As of late, the RealClearPolitics polling average has candidate Pete Buttigieg pulling down some pretty hefty first place leads in early primary states Iowa at 24% and New Hampshire at 20%, outpacing national front runner former Vice President Biden by as much as 8 points.

If you’ve been keeping up with even a smidgen of the rollicking ride of the Democratic primary race, then this news of Mayor Pete’s rise might not come as “breaking” per se. For the past several weeks, as pressure mounted on the sunny summertime upward swing of Senator Warren to put some U.S. dollar signs on the actual cost of implementing her Medicare for Every Single One of Us plan (somewhere way past one billion dollars), as Biden became somewhat befuddled by another gaffe or sidetracked as subject #1 of the backfiring Trump-Giuliani plot to ensnare

Published on October 15, The Onion depicted Buttigieg in a Tin Man Halloween costume.

It appears that, for the most part, since It is more imporMayor Pete’s entry onto tantly historical than the national stage as mere newsflash that an openly gay, Haran openly gay, samevard educated, Rhodes sex married man from Scholar, military vetSouth Bend, Indiana, eran, Christian, son of is proving a viable and an immigrant, young preferable choice in the Mayor of South Bend, This stock photo used by world’s most diverse, Buttigieg's campaign drew Indiana, and near milmost crowded, and criticism. lennial-aged presidenever-expanding Demtial candidate, the issue ocratic field to win his of his status as a gay man has lit litparty’s nomination. The fact of his tle fire under the very tired narrative astounding ascendency is in and of that suggests that African Ameriitself quite rewarding, isn’t it? cans would automatically oppose his As markers of our resistance and per- candidacy or election because he is sistence become celebrated monugay. Cursory attempts to bog down ments—the Stonewall Inn is now a his entry in that old quagmire basiNational Historic Landmark, the cally proved a non-starter to any real AIDS Memorial Quilt’s archives are concerns as to why particularly older now part of the Library of Congress, African Americans might not readand millions of travelers from around ily jump the Biden train for Mayor the world will soon walk through Pete. It wasn’t just due to blind loythe Harvey Milk Terminal 1 at San alty to Biden or other better-known Francisco International Airport— candidates. the emergence of an LGBT presidenWhat was quickly revealed about tial candidate seems right on time.

Mayor Pete, as an initially unknown Of course, like a rocketing Formula semi-urban mayor from Indiana, did One on the Indy 500 Speedway, not make for an ideal introduction to there have been and continue to be a national Black audience. For one, some skids, scrapes, and near spinhis admittedly rocky community outs along the accelerated ride to (continued on page 26) numero uno for Mayor Pete.

Senator Kamala Harris on Tuesday, December 3, announced that she is suspending her presidential campaign, but she used the initial platform, Medium, to double down on her plan to continue “fighting for people whose voices that have not been heard or too often ignored.” She wrote, and later vocally proclaimed, “We will keep up that fight.”

Harris, who has been supportive of “Betty’s List” and the San Francisco Bay Times over the years, walks the talk. She hired out and proud lesbian Rebecca Prozan—now Chief of Public Policy and Government Relations for Google—to manage her campaign for District Attorney, a race that Harris won. The Bay Times hosted a reception for her that year, and her passion for LGBT rights was very evident.

Her record on behalf of our community includes the following: • As California Attorney General, Harris declined to defend the state’s ban on Proposition 8.

• After the Supreme Court restored marriage equality in our state, Harris officiated at the samesex wedding ceremony of Prop 8 plaintiffs Kris Perry and Sandy Stier.

• As Attorney General, she helped to shut down the unconstitutional “Kill the Gays” ballot initiative.

• With Assemblymember Susan Bonilla, she co-sponsored a bill

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him and his son in a cooked up corruption investigation in Ukraine, and as Minnesota’s U.S. Senator Amy Klobuchar has yet to inch her way from the Midwesterner commonsensical tome on the debate stage into a hefty leap to claim the pragmatic moderate mantle from Biden, Buttigieg is managing to steadily swerve and bump his way into the middle passage for top contenders lane.

Despite Presidential Campaign Suspension, Harris Vows to Keep Fighting for ‘Equality and Dignity for All’

that eliminated the “gay panic” defense in cases concerning violent crime or murder. Only California and Illinois then banned such a plea.

• Harris co-sponsored the Equality Act. • She signed a friend-of-the-court briefing holding that transgender individuals should be permitted to use bathrooms that are consistent with their gender identity.

• She fought North Carolina’s transphobic House Bill 2.

• She signed a brief before the Supreme Court advocating for transgender student Gavin Grimm.

• Harris appointed Mariana Marroquin, a transgender woman of color, to the California Racial & Identity Profiling Advisory Board.

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Thanksgiving Dinner in New York: 10 People, 5 Dogs, and No Political Conversation

Well-Behaved Women Seldom Make History Louise “Lou” Fischer This is a difficult time of year to be a political columnist. Other than the train-wreck administration and “never will happen” impeachment of the current President, there isn’t much to write about until the presidential primary of 2020, which in California has thankfully been moved up from June to March 3. That’s right, California decided it wanted to be in the cool-kid crowd on “Super Tuesday,” or maybe it was just fed up with the two homogeneously populated rural states of New Hampshire and Iowa having an oversized impact on choosing the nation’s presidential nominees.

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According to a recently completed study at Central Michigan University, when dogs are present, groups are closer and more cooperative in completing tasks. Unfortunately, the researchers did not expand the study to include the positive effects that dogs could have on avoiding political discourse at Thanksgiving dinner, but if they had, I think the results would have been scientifically significant.

This means that absentee ballots should drop on or about February 3, which is the same day as the Iowa caucus and over a week before the New Hampshire primary of February 10. For this reason, candidates will spend more time campaigning in California, giving love, attention, and facetime to voters, so if your dream is a coveted selfie with Mayor Pete Buttigieg, Senator Elizabeth Warren, or former Vice President Joe Biden, you might get that chance.

‘Never discuss politics or religion in polite company’ or at Thanksgiving.

4 Days/4 Broadway Shows in New York City, Including 1 ‘Must-See’

In my family, there is an unwritten rule never to discuss politics at Thanksgiving. The topic of religion is fair game because we’re Jewish, and even if some of our guests are not Jewish, they are definitely “Jewishadjacent” or, at the very least, “Jew friendly.” However, since my family’s November 1992 “Meltdown in Milford” (Connecticut), the topic of politics, especially presidential races, is completely and unequivocally offlimits.

Now that my niece and nephew are grown and living in New York City, my partner Amy and I spend a few days in Manhattan before heading up to the sleepy, bucolic (and boring) hamlet of Westchester where my sister lives. Amy is an actress and I’m a big fan of live theatre, so our annual treks to New York City include seeing as many shows as possible.

Since my mother died 20 years ago, my “very Republican” younger sister has taken up the duty of hosting Thanksgiving. We continue to

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Dogs help people get along.

My sister has 2 dogs, and in addition to the 2 she was babysitting and one brought by a guest, we had a healthy 2-to-1 ratio of people to dogs (10 people, 5 dogs). Without the dogs present, I’m pretty sure that I would not have been able to hold back my opinion that we cannot re-elect the corrupt, ignorant moron running the country along with the complicit (and evil) Senate that is setting back civil rights, immigration rights, women’s rights, and the entire judiciary system for at least the next 2–3 generations. So, take it from me: if you have difficult family gatherings in your future, bring (or borrow) some dogs, the more the merrier.

At the Thanksgiving dinner of 1992, while half of my family was celebrating the end of the 12-year Republican Reign of Terror that was the Reagan and H.W. Bush administrations, the other half was sitting shiva (mourning) over the loss. Once we finished screaming, yelling, and name-calling (“single-issue voter!”; “right-wing populist!”; “ignorant liberal!”) and lamenting that each side had cancelled out the others’ votes, we realized that no one knew how our mother voted, and suddenly, she was the deciding vote for the whole family. Knowing that my mother was “mostly a Democrat,” I said, “Mom, you voted for Clinton, right?” Without a single note of remorse or embarrassment, she responded, “I voted for Ross Perot. I liked his TV commercials.” Needless to say, that was the end of political discussions in our family forever.

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avoid the topic of presidential politics because no one wants to upset my 89-year-old father (thankfully, a proud Democrat!) by starting the equivalent of an MMA cage match. So, short of spiking the turkey gravy with MDMA (ecstasy), which is the only way we’d all get along, we tacitly acknowledge that to cut the tension in the room, we would need a knife sharper than the one we use to carve the turkey, so we talk about safe topics, like how much we love our dogs and cats.

I joined the Theatre Development Fund ( https://www.tdf.org/ ) to get ridiculously cheap tickets online—$45 for a Broadway musical! We wait in line at the TKTS ticket booth in Times Square for half-priced tickets, and for a show that we really want to see, we splurge on full-priced tickets. We’ve seen some big hits on the cheap during previews (The Band’s Visit) and we’ve seen some mediocrity, but it’s still “Broadway,” so even the worst show is pretty good.

On this trip our full-price show was Dear Evan Hansen and yes, it is as good as everyone says. We saw Tootsie on the cheap through TDF ($43); it was much better than we expected. Our off-Broadway (also discounted) show was The Imbible, a cabaret-style production set in an actual bar. It was about the history of alcohol and 3 cocktails were served to the audience during the show. The first half was very entertaining and I don’t really remember the second half because ... well, 3 full cocktails.

We also saw Jagged Little Pill, a new show that is still in previews. It is a jukebox musical with songs by Alanis

Morissette. While this may seem like hyperbole, it was the best show that I’ve ever seen. Granted, I love the music of Alanis, but even if you don’t, see this show. It was the first and only time that I’ve been part of a standing ovation in the MIDDLE of the show.

I think it will be bigger than Rent and might match the “impossible ticket to get” level of Book of Mormon and Hamilton.

I hope that everyone had a pleasant Thanksgiving; only a few more weeks to Christmas and Hanukkah!

Thanksgiving by the Numbers 1621 - First Harvest Celebration (between the Pilgrims and Native American members of the Wampanoag tribe); 3 - Number of days of the first “Thanksgiving” in 1621; 53 - Number of Pilgrims who attended the first Thanksgiving (down from the 102 who initially came over on the Mayflower); 50-ish - Pilgrims who did not survive the first brutal winter; 90-ish - Number of Native American men who attended (outnumbering Pilgrims 2-to-1); 1863 - The year that President Abraham Lincoln proclaimed the final Thursday in November as a national Thanksgiving holiday (more likely to unite the nation after the Civil War than to celebrate the Pilgrims); 88 - Percentage of people in the U.S. who eat turkey on Thanksgiving; 46 million - Number of turkeys eaten each Thanksgiving; 65,000 - Number of sold-out seats at Detroit’s Ford Field stadium where the Lions have played the traditional Thanksgiving game versus the Chicago Bears every year since 1934; 31.6 million - Forecast of passengers who traveled on U.S. airlines during the Thanksgiving holiday according to Airlines for America (airline trade organization); 2925 miles- Distance in miles between my house in San Francisco and my sister’s in New York; 12,426 miles - Distance between my sister’s and my political viewpoints (this is one mile more than the longest distance between two points on Earth).

Louise (Lou) Fischer is a Former Co-Chair of the Board of Directors for the Alice B. Toklas LGBT Democratic Club and has served as an appointed and elected Delegate for the State Democratic Party. She is a proud graduate of the Emerge Californi a Women’s Democratic Leadership program, was a San Francisco Commissioner, and has served in leadership positions in multiple nonprofit and community-based organizations.

GLBT Fortnight in Review

By Ann Rostow Down the Rabbit Hole Again Every two weeks, before I start this column, I wind up spending an hour or so wasting time on internet listicles in order to avoid buckling down to “work.” Yes, I waste time online on other occasions, but there’s something about having a deadline that transforms an inane sounding link into a compelling invitation to pursue fascinating research. This time I was irresistibly drawn into a long account of the worst ways couples can blow money needlessly on their weddings. I think I just went through fifty examples.

As usual, the entries were totally random. I mean, really. Is buying Champagne rather than Cava a waste of money? It’s extravagant, certainly, but hardly “wasteful.” And how about the cost of personalized napkins for the guests? In my entire life, I have neither seen nor heard of personalized napkins at a wedding or any other event, period. That’s like suggesting that couples save money by not renting a herd of llamas for the reception. Oh, and here’s a pro tip: splurging on a full open bar with high end single malt scotch will set you back a pretty penny. Stick with the basics, or have a brunch wedding and give everyone mimosas. Thanks, listicle writers. I guess swapping out the lobsters for sloppy joes might save you a few bucks as well.

After that, I pursued the nuptial theme, digging into the dozens of wedding traditions that are being abandoned by millennials. These include the garter throw, the cake in the mouth smash, walking down the aisle with Dad, rice, religious officiants, matching bridesmaids, white dresses, veils, and, well, pretty much the whole ball of wax.

Before you know it, we’ll all be reverting to the classic 1980s lesbian commitment ceremony. Everyone can troop out to a field somewhere, hold hands in a circle around the happy couple, and then celebrate together over a vegetarian stew and a keg of mead. Talk about value for money! Don’t forget to save the date three years down the road for the separation ceremony where we all write goodbye notes to the divorcing couple and throw the papers into the fire pit before toasting the ex-partners with elderberry wine and eating a single symbolic fig. (The ones who arranged public commitment ceremonies were often the ones to break up in dramatic fashion, in my experience.)

Anyway, I’m asking myself how and why I can get caught up in these cyber-traps. I don’t have a particular interest in weddings to begin with, and in truth, I have been time-sucked into all sorts of lengthy thematic inquiries on a vast range of hitherto uninteresting subjects in this fashion.

Am I alone? There’s some kind of psychic mechanism at work and it’s a little insidious.

Thanks, Obama Moving along, would it surprise you to learn that the Trump administration has injected its antigay and antitrans venom throughout the federal bureaucracy to the point that one member of the eight-person bipartisan Commission on Civil Rights called the devolution of gay rights since 2016 “devastating?” Commission Chair Catherine Lhamon told NBC News that the administration “has been as vocal as it is possible to be about its dismissal of LGBTQ rights as worth protecting.”

“It will take us a very long time to dig out from under the damage this administration has caused to civil

rights in this county,” she concluded ominously.

Speaking after the release of a 621page report titled “Are Civil Rights a Reality?” another Commission member, Karen Narasaki, said that the policy changes she’s observed in the last three years are “truly unprecedented.” Trump and company “are not just shifting enforcement priorities,” she warned. “They are undoing decades of civil and human rights progress.”

No, I have not read the report, but this is not news. Last week, I mentioned the ProPublica list of 31 destructive setbacks that we’ve suffered in the last three years, compiled under the headline: “Under Trump, LGBTQ Progress is Being Reversed in Plain Sight.”

Indeed, one problem, if you can call it that, is that the Obama administration put in place some extraordinarily positive government mandates that operated under the radar to influence courts and public policy throughout major swathes of American society. Whether it was in health care, in education, or through agency opinions on the scope of federal civil rights laws, Obama oversaw big shifts in let’s call it the “deep state’s” attitude towards GLBT equality.

Indeed, I remember being annoyed at some activists who condemned Obama for some minor misdeed late in his second term, seemingly unaware of the profound advantages that he had engineered on our behalf behind the scenes. Now, however, we are seeing the fragility of those, or any other, executive actions, as Trump’s sideshow of far-right freaks has been given free rein to replace Obama’s progressive policies with their own hostile mutations. These relentless erosions in ours and others’ civil rights can, in turn, be repaired by another administration down the road. But restoring that environment, so to speak, will require a long commitment.

Holiday on Ice Can we go back to listicles now?

Oh, here’s something. Lifetime has released a Christmas movie that includes a married gay couple, Lex and Danny, who share a kiss at the very end of Twinkle All the Way. The movie also has a heterosexual plotline featuring the straight brother of one of the gay men, and in the end, their mother smiles at her two sons who prepare to live happily ever after. In reading about this cinematic breakthrough, I also learn that Netflix is airing Let it Snow, which also has something gay in it, although the details were unclear.

I guess we’re all going to have to watch these for ourselves, a pleasant task for me, personally, as I confess a weird fondness for Christmas movies at this time of year. It’s like admitting a taste for Froot Loops or owning a collection of vintage plastic trolls— nothing I am proud of. Indeed, as I write, I have just fired up the TV, checked Lifetime On Demand, found the movie in question, and hit start. I know I don’t have time for this!

I’ve already seen several of these this year, including four in a row that included scenes where a) the couple went skating, b) one member of the couple could not skate, and c) the klutzy person fell on the ice, the other one tried to help but also fell, so the two of them wound up in an accidental embrace. All four movies featured the exact same relatively rare event.

What are the odds? I have this Twinkle movie running in the background now for journalistic purposes, and (continued on page 26) S AN F R ANC IS C O BAY T IM ES

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Strawberries and Cream with the ‘Bad Boys’ to indulge the boys with kindness, sharing the best strawberries with them— with sugar and cream to boot.

This holiday season, I find myself reminded of two old family stories.

The first comes from my dad’s side of the family and is a story about my paternal Great, Great Grandfather Amos recounted for posterity when he died. Amos was a Quaker minister who with his wife Nancy founded a tiny Quaker meeting in southern Illinois in the 19th Century.

“It was said that Mr. Lewis had a very fine strawberry patch which the ‘bad boys’ of the neighborhood used regularly to loot, stealing the fruit and destroying the vines; that one day while such ‘bad boys’ were so engaged, they were surprised by Mr. Lewis. But instead of collaring and soundly thrashing them when they were caught, as they expected and as was done by others to them, Mr. Lewis said to them in a kindly and gentle voice: ‘Boys, the best of the berries have been picked and taken into the house, but if you will come in, you can have some here with sugar and cream.’”

I like this story, not only because it was told about my great, great grandfather, whom of course I never met, but also because it recounts a very simple act of kindness. I imagine that Amos felt so content, safe, and at peace in his own life that he felt no need to lash out at the so-called “bad boys” in anger.

“I am not allowed to write at length but I want to tell you how glad I am that I came here. I have such a cool room with private bath and attentive nurse and a nice cool porch where we gather with congenial company and it’s as pleasant as the mountains and I’m improving all the time. I took a long walk yesterday and slept fine last night.

I am not exaggerating. I would not deceive you.”

The letter continues: “At home you know how it is. I got nervous over things and here I have nothing to think about and everything is so quiet. We have music by the Victrola a great deal. You know how I enjoy music ... . I think what a blessing there is such a place provided for suffering humanity.”

ity reaching across time, space, and blood to Jenny in her suffering.

I am struck by how caring Jenny described the sanitarium staff to be and how comforting the environs were. I find myself relaxing as I contemplate the “nice cool porch with congenial company,” where it’s “pleasant as the mountains.” Listening to music around the windup Victrola, doubtlessly the latest in technology at the time, sounds both nurturing and exhilarating. I love how Jenny writes that “everything is so quiet,” in striking contrast to her previously racing mind, swirling in fear and anxiety. Over a century later, I find myself wanting to care for Jenny.

Unfortunately, anxiety and panic disorders run through part of my mother’s family. My grandfather to whom this letter was written had a mental and physical breakdown himself two decades after Jenny did. Jenny returned home from Tranquil Park, but became ill again, and despite further residential treatment, became isolated and suffered mental illness for the rest of her life.

The holidays can epitomize the extremes of human emotions, from great joy and generosity to stress, anxiety, and disappointment. Our DNA, life experiences, and relationships greatly influence what we encounter in our hearts and minds this time of year. Stuart and I hope that during this season we all can check in to our own versions of Tranquil Park when we need a break, and when we feel safe and whole, even invite the “bad boys” in to share our best strawberries— with sugar and cream.

My great, great grandfather Amos on my dad’s side of the family is, of course, no relation to my great grandmother Jenny on my mother’s side. However, when I reflect on these two stories together, I imagine Amos’ kindness and generos-

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Given that they all lived in a very small town, it is likely that Amos knew the boys and how other townspeople had repeatedly treated them harshly when they were caught misbehaving. Amos not only chose an alternative nonviolent approach, part and parcel of the Quaker way of life, but also

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John Lewis

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The second story is a very different account from my mother’s side of the family, from my maternal Great Grandmother Jenny, and takes place years later and hundreds of miles away in small town North Carolina.

It’s in the form of a letter Jenny wrote in her early 60s to her son, my grandfather, from the Tranquil Park Sanitarium, where it appears she was receiving treatment for debilitating panic attacks:

John Lewis and Stuart Gaffney, together for over three decades, were plaintiffs in the California case for equal marriage rights decided by the California Supreme Court in 2008. Their leadership in the grassroots organization Marriage Equality USA contributed in 2015 to making same-sex marriage legal nationwide.

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San Francisco City Hall was lit in red in observance of World AIDS Day 2019.

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When Did Compromise Become a Bad Word? representatives, have the opportunity to make fundamental changes to access, delivery, and accountability in San Francisco’s system of mental health care.

From the Frontlines Brett Andrews This most recent election cycle reminds me of the value of compromise. This most important exercise of give and take, push and pull, and learning and sharing requires acknowledging that other points of view, even if you don’t agree, are valid too. Compromise also builds accountability, likely the most critical element for making real progress.

We now have a duly elected Mayor, with a full term of service ahead to strengthen San Francisco. Our City passed the largest affordable housing bond in our history, with a full court of sponsors at the Board of Supervisors, signaling a fundamental and shared focus on housing affordability to the future of our City. We have newly elected officials in a variety of offices who are ready to serve.

But I posit the strongest harbinger of progress was the compromise bringing Mental Health SF’s critical reforms into a shared legislative process. Let’s allow this to set a new standard for City leadership: principles aligned with politics. Working together, elected and appointed officials, and community and constituent

Joining together in the legislative process will enable course corrections as we learn what improvements and expansions mean on the ground for those they are meant to help, what externalities weren’t foreseen, and the new needs that will most certainly arise. Needs and solutions cannot be static, and the City should feel optimistic with the direction of change. I know I do.

Our political system of representation and checks and balances is not meant to foment conflict but to represent multiple points of view at the decision-making table. To make change, you can’t sit at opposite sides and yell at each other or ignore the priorities of others. Generally, your needs are not the only ones that need to be met.

You learn rather quickly in the transformational day-to-day work of human services that one idea or solution is insufficient. We need an array of ideas, supports, or opportunities to meet the varied needs of the healthchallenged, low income, and homeless adults and families struggling to survive and fight their way out of poverty in San Francisco and beyond. At PRC, we know that the 50+ partners we work with regularly have unique skills, strengths, and diverse perspectives we need at the table to build a thriving San Francisco.

Only together, pushing and pulling out the commonalities among priorities and the nuances of goal differences, will we ask and answer the strategic questions essential to solv(continued on page 27)

Remembering Steve Abbott and Karl Tierney on World AIDS Day Photos by Rink On December 1, the James C. Hormel Center of the SF Public Library presented “Enduring Struggle, Enduring Spirits: Remembering Steve Abbott and Karl Tierney on World AIDS Day.” The event featured a double book launch reading remembering two gay poets whose lives were lost to AIDS. Featured speakers included book editor Jamie Townsend, editor of Beautiful Aliens: A Steve Abbott Reader; Steve Abbott’s daughter Alysia; and book editor Jim Cory, editor of Have You Seen This Man? The poets will also be celebrated today, December 5, at Alley Cat Books (3036 24th Street, San Francisco) from 7 pm to 9 pm.

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Old-School Sports Car Fun MX-5 Miata Grand Touring—are different answers to the two-seat question. The BMW is larger, more powerful, and more expensive, while the Mazda holds closer to its flyweight roots.

Auto Philip Ruth Future automotive tech hews toward electric propulsion and crossover SUVs. But the past is still with us in piston-driven sports cars that put fun above all else.

The two we’ll examine here—the BMW Z4 sDrive30i and Mazda

Pricing reflects the gap between them: the MX-5 Miata starts in the mid-$20,000s, while the Z4’s entry fee is nearly double, at $49,700. Both offer the personalization options that you’d expect of pleasure vehicles; the tested Z4 kicks things off with a blazing finish that BMW calls “San Francisco Red Metallic.”

That $550 paint option is truly the first time I’ve seen our hilly city called out on an automotive options list. Legendary performer Donna Sachet, seen elsewhere on the San Francisco Bay Times’ pages, picks red as her signature color and would surely approve.

Also tantalizing are the shades available on the Z4’s insides; specifying Magma Red or Cognac brings alive the diamond-stitched contours of the tall-backed bucket seats. The tester had a more sober black interior, but was laden with $9,500 worth of packages: M Sport, Premium, Executive, and Track Handling. With other options, this Z4 totaled just less than $64,000.

six engine.) This power was easily harnessed, thanks in part to the $700 Adaptive M Suspension and the M Sport brakes and differential, which comprise the $2,450 Track Handling Package.

At $32,650, the MX-5 Miata Grand Touring that I drove maintained its status of just-about-half of the Z4, though it still included niceties like rain-sensing wipers and Smart City Brake Support, which uses a windshield-mounted laser to sense the car in front and engage the brakes to avoid low-speed collisions. I didn’t get a reaction out of it while driving in the city, but it was nice to know it was there.

True to form, the Miata’s simpler chassis bypasses the Z4’s burliness for a supremely nimble feel. The Miata never got fat, and this is the best one yet.

OK, so drop the tops—it’s easy-peasy on both—and hit the road. Which is more fun? Hard to say, because each generates its own kinds of smiles.

The BMW is a stormer. The 2.0liter four-cylinder engine is the same size as the Miata’s, but it thumps out 255 horsepower to the Miata’s rating of 181, thanks to its immediately responsive twin turbochargers. (That number jumps to 382 horsepower in the Z4 M40i and its larger inline-

BMW Z4 sDrive30i

Though they share the same basic configuration, it’s unlikely Mazda MX-5 Miata Grand Touring that the BMW and Mazda will Miata, the old-school choices are still be cross-shopped against each other. robust.

It’s funny that the tested Miata has Philip Ruth is a Castro-based autoGrand Touring in its name, because motive photojournalist and consulthat’s actually the Z4’s forte. Both tant ( www.gaycarguy.com ). Check feel smooth and balanced overall, out his automotive staging service and they each can be deeply satisfyat www.carstaging.com ing to drive.

Electrics and crossovers are on the march, but judging from this Z4 and

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Start Your Financial Plan with The Sound of Music

Money Matters Brandon Miller December and the end of the year may have you thinking about getting your finances in order. My thoughts, however, drift to ... the annual airing of The Sound of Music. I can’t help it; I love that movie. I still hold my breath when the von Trapps are hiding in the convent cemetery. And I still feel a pang of betrayal when Rolf literally blows the whistle on them.

How could someone so handsome be so cruel?

Before I go too far down lederhosen lane, let’s get back to putting your finances in order. Financial planning can be somewhat intimidating, and especially if your wealth doesn’t justify a full-service financial advisor. Luckily, there are other options.

Lots of companies are democratizing financial planning and how advice is delivered.

And every one of these options has the same starting point. So, in the words of Julie Andrews as she’s teaching the Captain’s children to sing, “Let’s start at the very beginning. A very good place to start.”

Cash f low is where it all begins.

If you don’t know where you are, how can you move forward? Start by figuring out the money that moves through your hands each month.

How much is coming in, how much is going out and how much—if any— do you have left over? Cash flow is so basic that many people overlook it, but being in the dark means you have no idea how much you have to invest or how deep a hole you’re digging.

If you’re racking up debt faster than savings, you’ll obviously need to make changes in your spending habits, get a second or better-paying job,

Suzanne Frank

or find a sugar daddy or mama. That also applies if you’re saving, but at a rate that will require three lifetimes before you have enough.

it! Invest the amount you planned when and where you planned. Make it automatic so that you don’t have to remember each month.

There are lots of online tools that can help you to figure out your cash flow and take control of your budget. Perhaps start your quest at your current bank, where they may have online cash-flow tools. A budgeting tool I like is Mvelopes, an updated strategy from our great-grandparents, that uses digital envelopes and automatic transaction tracking to help you plan for and see where your money goes.

Two incredibly easy ways to start investing are:

Ready to invest? Move to Step 2.

Now that you know some new options, I hope you don’t let another year end without getting your financial act together. Just follow the advice of the future Mrs. von Trapp (sorry, I should have given you a spoiler alert). Start at the very beginning. A very good place to start.

Create a plan with automated and/or human help.

As I mentioned, this is a new era of democracy in financial planning.

You can be as hands on—or off—as you want or your financial situation dictates.

Your options now include: • Online tools and resources— Educating yourself about financial strategies is easier than ever with the internet at your fingertips. I particularly like Dinkytown ( https://www.dinkytown.net/ ), which has a gazillion calculators that let you easily perform what-if situations.

• Robo-advisors—These focus on the numbers, not your life goals, but they can work fine for basic investment plans.

• Hybrid solutions—Even established organizations are embracing some benefits of automated planning, and offer a robo-advice solution with the option for human oversight and input.

• Advice by the hour—If you just want a one-time or sometimes relationship with a human advisor, paying only when you want advice may be a good option.

• Full-service advisors—Yes, you’ll pay more. But you’ll also get help understanding the nuances of your goals, creating a plan customized to those goals, adapting to life’s changes, and keeping you disciplined and accountable.

Implement your plan and stay on track.

• Acorns—rounds up your transactions to an even amount, harvests that change and invests it for you. https://www.acorns.com/ • Stash—offers fractional shares so you can invest as little as $5 at a time in stocks, ETFs, and bonds. https://stashinvest.com

The opinions expressed in this article are for general informational purposes only and are not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual or on any specific security. Brio does not provide tax or legal advice, and nothing contained in these materials should be taken as such. To determine which investments may be appropriate for you, consult your financial advisor prior to investing.

As always, please remember that investing involves risk and possible loss of principal capital; please seek advice from a licensed professional.

Brio Financial Group is a registered investment adviser. SEC Registration does not constitute an endorsement of Brio by the SEC nor does it indicate that Brio has attained a particular level of skill or ability. Advisory services are only offered to clients or prospective clients where Brio Financial Group and its representatives are properly licensed or exempt from licensure. No advice may be rendered by Brio Financial Group unless a client service agreement is in place.

Brandon Miller, CFP®, is a financial consultant at Brio Financial Group in San Francisco, specializing in helping LGBT individuals and families plan and achieve their financial goals.

Once you have your financial roadmap, don’t neglect to actually follow

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Understanding the Fear of Success selves to experience. Most of us do, in fact, have something like this in our makeup. Our personal “misery index” has to drop below a certain line before the “heat” comes on and we take action to change things.

Roland Schembari and Bill Hartman, Co-Founders Randy Alfred, Founding News Editor 1978 Kim Corsaro Publisher 1981-2011

2261 Market Street, No. 309 San Francisco CA 94114 Phone: 415-601-2113

(Editor’s Note: Tom Moon is on hiatus. This is one of his more popular past columns.)

People’s settings vary. What typically determines the setting is the emotional atmosphere of our family lives when we were children. If our families were characterized by abuse and disappointment, we probably learned to treat such experiences as natural, and as adults our “common sense” tells us that life is just “like that.” On the other hand, to the degree that the family atmosphere was characterized by mutual respect, safety, and affection, we learned to take it for granted that these conditions are our birthright.

Anyone can understand why people might be afraid of failure, but is it really possible that some people are actually afraid of success? One of the most difficult aspects of human nature to understand is the strange and widespread tendency of so many to sabotage themselves, to shoot themselves in the foot, to undermine their strivings for success and happiness, as if they have some kind of allergy to success.

The thermostat image isn’t just a metaphor, because it can actually help to explain why and when people take action on their own behalf. When listening to the stories of recovering addicts and alcoholics, for instance, I’m struck by the fact that, for some, “hitting bottom” meant being hung over one too many Monday mornings, while for others it meant losing everything and living on the streets.

One way to understand this powerful and perplexing issue is to imagine that we have a kind of internal emotional thermostat that sets a range for how much suffering and pain, at one end, we’re willing to tolerate; and at the other, how much happiness and fulfillment we can allow our-

There is a similar range of tolerance for domestic abuse. Some people get hit once by a partner and immediately take action to see that it never happens again, while others (who may have been subjected to abuse as children or witnessed one parent abusing another) put up with vio-

525 Bellevue Avenue Oakland CA 94610 E-mail: editor@sfbaytimes.com www.sfbaytimes.com The Bay Times was the first newspaper in California, and among the first in the world, to be jointly and equally produced by lesbians and gay men.

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The Bay Times is proud to be the only newspaper for the LGBT community in San Francisco that is 100% owned and operated by LGBT individuals.

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Examined Life Tom Moon, MFT

lence year after year, assuming that it’s just the price that they have to pay for “love.”

What’s really interesting, and harder to understand, is that, for many people, this inner thermostat also has an upper setting, a point where the “heat” goes off and they deliberately, if unconsciously, cool down their efforts to improve their lives. This setting, too, is determined by the emotional atmosphere of childhood.

A man who had long dreamed of getting a post-graduate degree was accepted to a prestigious graduate school. Suddenly he found himself feeling anxious and depressed, uncertain of his goals, and making all kinds of excuses for why he shouldn’t go. Why? Neither of us parents had finished high school, and were so threatened by his education that they had constantly ridiculed him for being “stuck up” and for using big words that they couldn’t understand.

we get close to achieving an important goal—a relationship that works, career success, more education, etc.—we suddenly find ourselves feeling anxious, depressed, and uncertain. We may feel “out on a limb,” or experience a nameless dread that we can’t explain to ourselves. People who feel these things are strongly, if unconsciously, tempted to give it all back by sabotaging themselves and getting their happiness level back down to a more familiar and tolerable level.

The problem of fear of success is anything but uncommon. It’s so widespread that it has spawned a multi-billion-dollar success industry offering workshops, motivational tapes, lectures, affirmations, and so on, all pushing essentially the same message: that having a happy and productive life isn’t inherently harmful to others, that it is, in fact, your birthright, and your responsibility to yourself.

Despite his longing for higher education, he had a deeply rooted feeling that he really didn’t deserve it. The unconscious, irrational belief that governed his behavior was that if he pursued his educational goals, he would harm and humiliate his parents. This belief affected him deeply, despite the fact that both of his parents had been dead for many years.

It’s a simple message—who would argue with it? Yet it’s sad how many, in their heart of hearts, can’t quite bring themselves to believe it. But that’s the task facing anyone struggling to overcome the habit of selfsabotage—to learn to believe it, and in so doing, to “reset” the thermostat to allow us to tolerate success and fulfillment without internal conflict.

Fear of success is like that. The root belief is always some version of the idea that exercising our own strengths must be at someone else’s expense. The effect is that when

Tom Moon is a psychotherapist in San Francisco. For more information, please visit his website http://tommoon.net/

CONTRIBUTORS Writers Rink, Sister Dana Van Iquity, Ann Rostow, Patrick Carney, Kate Kendell, Alex Randolph, Heidi Beeler, Gary M. Kramer, Dennis McMillan, Tom Moon, Tim Seelig, Cinder Ernst, John Chen Rafael Mandelman, Jewelle Gomez, Phil Ting, Rebecca Kaplan, Kin Folkz, Leslie Katz, Philip Ruth, Peter Gallotta, Bill Lipsky, Karen Williams, Donna Sachet, Gary Virginia, Zoe Dunning, Marcy Adelman, Stuart Gaffney & John Lewis Brandon Miller, Jamie Leno Zimron Michele Karlsberg Lyndsey Schlax, Randy Coleman, Debra Walker, Howard Steiermann, Andrea Shorter, Lou Fischer, Karin Jaffie, Brett Andrews, Karen E. Bardsley, David Landis

SF Sketch Randy Coleman Randy Coleman hails from New York, but has lived in San Francisco since 1975. Coleman shares that before moving to the Bay Area, he studied Art History and Architecture at Boston University while working as a resident artist for architectural rendering at a Massachusetts historical society. “All of my life I’ve been an artist,” Coleman says. “To know me is to know that I have a passion for art and architecture. I love this project for the San Francisco Bay Times, and hope that you enjoy my sketches.” © Randy Coleman, 2019

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10th Annual Light in the Grove/World AIDS Day 2019

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CELEBRATING FOUR DECADES (1978–2019)

On November 30, the eve of World AIDS Day, the National AIDS Memorial was artistically illuminated with brilliant displays for the annual Light in the Grove. Guests experienced a candlelight reflection at the Circle of Friends and wandered reflectively through the illuminated Redwood Grove to a warmly-lit tent where they enjoyed cocktails, hors d’oeuvres, and a buffet dinner with musical and choreographed performances.

This year’s Lifetime of Commitment honoree was Mario P. Diaz, former Wells Fargo Community Relations Senior Consultant, whose unwavering commitment, compassion, and generosity have resulted in myriad philanthropic partnerships with Bay Area organizations and communities over two continuous decades.

PHOTO BY FRANK WOO

PHOTO BY FRANK WOO

PHOTO COURTESY OF MIKE SMITH PHOTO BY RINK

PHOTO BY RINK PHOTO BY RINK PHOTO BY RINK

PHOTO COURTESY OF TOM TEMPRANO

PHOTO BY RINK PHOTO BY RINK PHOTO BY RINK

PHOTO BY RINK

PHOTO COURTESY OF TOM TEMPRANO

PHOTO COURTESY OF HENRY OCAMPO

PHOTO COURTESY OF RAFAEL MANDELMAN

PHOTO BY RINK

PHOTO COURTESY OF MIKE SMITH

On December 1, the World AIDS Day ceremony included the presentation of a selection of panels from the AIDS Memorial Quilt, which is returning to San Francisco after being stored in Atlanta. Honorees included longtime activist Leslie Ewing, SF Warriors executive Rick Welts, and Quilt co-founders Cleve Jones and Mike Smith. https://aidsmemorial.org/

Jack Porter National AIDS Memorial co-founder, supporter and long-time friend was remembered in a memorial service held on World AIDS Day at the Grove. A writing by Jack about his partner Stephen can be viewed on the website: https://aidsmemorial.org/stories-stephen-marcus/ S AN F R ANC IS C O BAY T IM ES

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Castro Tree Lighting Ceremony 2019 Photos by Rink and Paul Margolis

The Castro’s beautiful holiday tree, dressed for the season, was officially lit in a ceremony held on Monday, December 2, at its 18th and Castro Street location. Joining emcee Donna Sachet in lighting the tree were civic and business leaders, including Supervisor Rafael Mandelman, Commissioner Debra Walker, Castro Merchants Association President Masood Samereie and SFPD Capt. Gaetano Caltagirone and members of Castro on Patrol.

Warmed up by holiday music provided by the San Francisco Gay/ Lesbian Freedom Band, the crowd applauded as Sister Dana blessed the tree, a new one making its first ever appearance this year, and all gathered. Santa Fred Bothe and Elf Seth Morrison arrived and were met by neighborhood residents and children whose eyes were filled with wonderment as the big tree sparkled with white lights and large colored ornaments. In true Castro fashion, a few protestors were in the crowd carrying red and green signs no less.

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PHOTO BY PAUL MARGOLIS PHOTO BY PAUL MARGOLIS PHOTO BY PAUL MARGOLIS PHOTO BY RINK

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PHOTO BY PAUL MARGOLIS

PHOTO BY PAUL MARGOLIS

PHOTO BY PAUL MARGOLIS

PHOTO BY PAUL MARGOLIS

PHOTO BY PAUL MARGOLIS

The ceremony, officially launching the Holiday Season, is organized by the Castro Merchants Association with support from local merchants and the Castro Upper Market Community Business District.

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Donna’s Chronicles

“You may not know exactly where you are going, but get up and do something!”

By Donna Sachet

tragic Saturday night fire on Castro Street caused extensive damage to a couple of buildings, curtailing business at Osaka Sushi and Q Bar, injuring two people, and displacing eight residents. Within days, word spread of a community-based fundraiser to help out those affected. It was no surprise to hear that the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, led by Sister Tilda NexTime, were involved in organizing the event and Migitte Nielsen stepped up to coordinate the entertainment. As support for the fundraiser grew, the location was moved from the Fez Room to the main stage of Oasis and Sister Roma enthusiastically signed on as co-hostess and emcee with Jimmy Strano lending his talents as DJ. The date of Thanksgiving Eve could not have been more appropriate!

That night, we were amazed by an impressive list of entertainers including Mutha Chucka, Princess tiny meat, Glamamore, Aliyah Little, Sister Bella Donna Summer, Katherine Rose, Frida K-Hole, Sapphire Jones, Manny Santos, Electra Befierce, Katya Smirnoff-Skye, Kylie Minono, Miss Shugana, Maddog 20/20, Puppet Master Rich, Sister Mary Media, and John Weber. Has a more varied and eclectic cast ever been assembled? We have purposefully omitted Imperial or Ducal titles on this list because it was made clear from the beginning that this event was not about titles, families, or pedigree; it was about a community taking care of its own. All performer tips went to the cause and, in addition, donated items made up a raffle and silent auction, supported by volunteer organizers and ticket sellers.

Did we mention that there was no entrance fee for this event? At last count, over $5000 was raised in that single night!

This is how so much of the fundraising within our community started. We’ve heard stories from Mike Smith and others of how a small group of Leather men sat around a dining room table, trying to figure out how to help their friends stricken by AIDS pay their rent, utilities, or medical needs; the AIDS Emergency Fund grew from that gathering. We’ve heard from Tom Nolan and others how Ruth Brinker, a grandmother and retired foodservice worker, saw the early impact of AIDS on her friends and decided to address their nutritional needs with homecooked meals; today, Project Open Hand prepares 2500 meals a day. We’ve heard from Kile Ozier and others about the small group of loyal watchers of the Academy Awards who decided to start hosting annual viewing parties, first in homes and later in larger and larger venues; and so, The Academy of Friends was born. Imperial and Ducal Family members often talk about how we have raised so much money for worthy causes one dollar at a time; now, Imperial and Ducal reigns often raise over $100,000 each year. It is easy to forget that all of the mature service organizations and major fundraisers within our community started somewhere, motivated by basic needs and the heartfelt desire to help others. And so, this Thanksgiving Eve event brought out the best in so many, volunteering time, money, and compassion to address a very recent and urgent need. Especially in San Francisco, we are so fortunate to have so many charitable agencies that stand ready to help and we encourage our readers to become aware of their missions and operations and to support as many as possible, but once in a while it is refreshing to see grassroots fundraising at its best. Congratulations to all of those involved on a successful event, and we hope that those residents displaced and otherwise affected find relief and assistance quickly.

Light in the Grove is always a moving remembrance at the National AIDS Memorial in Golden Gate Park and Saturday night’s 10th annual event was well-attended and beautiful. As we entered the Grove, twinkling lights marked the path to the Circle of Friends with thousands of names of those lost to AIDS and those who have tirelessly fought the fight against this ongoing epidemic. Nearby, in a small, subtly lit clearing, members of the James Graham Dancers Theatre moved gracefully among the branches. At the end of the path, a huge and clear sided tent with an arched ceiling covered with white lights hosted hundreds of attendees, including City Supervisor Rafael Mandelman, Sharon McNight, Brett Andrews, Lewis Sykes & Jim Connor, Joanie Juster, Race Bannon, Matthew Denckla, Mark Leno, Mike Smith, Cleve Jones, Randy Schiller, Alec Hughes, Kelly Rivera Hart, Charles Zukow, P. Tyrone Smith, and Ira Olney & Troy Arnold. The program included a tribute to Mario Diaz, Lifetime of Commitment Honoree, recently retired from Wells Fargo and obviously greatly loved by this crowd, and a moving speech by a theatre producer, not listed in the program, who gave us this week’s quote. Executive Director John Cunningham announced that the AIDS Memorial Grove is taking over custody of the AIDS Memorial Quilt that is returning from Atlanta to the city of its origin. Musical entertainment by Josh Klipp and the Klipptones rang into the evening.

After the extensive listing of upcoming events in our last column, we shall reiterate only one here: Donna Sachet’s Songs of the Season presented by Brian Kent, benefiting PRC, Tuesday and Wednesday, December 10 and 11, 8 pm, at Feinstein’s at the Nikko Hotel. For 25 years we produced this spirited cabaret show that started very small, but grew to become a significant budget item for AIDS Emergency Fund, providing unrestricted funds to support their vital services.

Equally important, this event became a much beloved part of the season for many in our LGBTQ Community and beyond, offering beautiful music, welcome laughter, and a little holiday nostalgia along the way. When we stepped away last year, Brian stepped up and the tradition was able to continue with much of the same flavor, but with the added professional expertise, conPHOTO BY SHAWN NORTHCUTT

–Unknown

Calendar a/la Sachet Thursday, December 5 Drag Queens on Ice, 10th year Safeway Ice Rink in Union Square 8 pm Free!

Friday, December 6 Home for the Holidays Cabaret benefits Tenderloin Tessie Dinners First Unitarian Universalist Center 1187 Franklin Street 6 pm $25 & up https://bit.ly/2DAL9Xb Friday, December 6 & Saturday, December 7 Holigays Are Here: Ring Them Bells Music and laughter with SF Gay Men’s Chorus Sydney Goldstein Theater, 275 Hayes Street 3 pm & 7:30 pm $25 & up www.sfgmc.org Saturday, December 7 & Sunday, December 8 Dance-Along Nutcracker: Nutcrackers in Space SF Lesbian/Gay Freedom Band Yerba Buena Center for the Arts Saturday 3 pm & 7 pm, Sunday 11 am & 3 pm $22 and up www.lgfb.org Sunday, December 8 Toys for Tots Donate toys & mingle Fairmont Hotel, 950 Mason Street 4–8 pm Bring a toy!

Free, but limited space, so RSVP https://bit.ly/33GfaPN Monday, December 9 Help is on the Way for the Holidays XVIII REAF benefit for Project Open Hand and AGUILAS Marines’ Memorial Theatre, 609 Sutter 7:30 pm $45 & up www.reaf.org Tuesday & Wednesday, December 10–11 Brian Kent presents Donna Sachet’s Songs of the Season Holiday cabaret benefiting PRC Feinstein’s at the Nikko, 222 Mason Street 8 pm $60 & up www.prcsf.org Sunday, December 15 & Sunday, December 22 Sunday’s a Drag!

The Starlight Room The Franciscan Ballroom of the Sir Francis Drake Hotel 10:30 am Brunch, 11:30 am Show $75 inclusive https://starlightroomsf.com/sundays-a-drag

tacts, and talent of our friend Brian. So, join us one of those two nights to see the newly reinvigorated Songs of the Season! Confirmed performers include Frenchie Davis (Tuesday only), Leanne Borghesi, Breanna Sinclaire, Kenny Nelson, Kippy Marks, Dan O’Leary, Sister Roma, Brian Kent, and this humble columnist and singer.

Sponsorship opportunities are still available. Get your holiday season off to the right start!

Donna Sachet is a celebrated performer, fundraiser, activist and philanthropist who has dedicated over two decades to the LGBTQ Community in San Francisco.

Contact her at empsachet@gmail.com

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Tom & Jerry’s Miracle on 21st Street Tom & Jerry’s Magical Holiday Tree

Tom & Jerry But first, who are these gentlemen?

Tom is a true San Franciscan, parting ways with most of his biological family in his youth as he came out, but finding a successful career in hairdressing. His proximity to prominent members of San Francisco society led him to various creative projects and a keen sense of the way things worked in this town. With an innately sharp sense of style, he quickly learned carpentry, electrical, and other construction skills that he applied to decorative contracts and later to property management.

Jerome came from the East Coast, finding great success in the medical field and applying his knowledge and personal passion to the early AIDS epidemic. His work in clinical research has gained great respect and he travels internationally as a speaker and instructor.

When the two of them got together and moved into their 1920s era cottage on 21st Street, it was the beginning of a magical time. What was once a rather humble cottage grew to become a multi-level home with some of the best views in the City, and they used their success to support organizations that were doing important work for the burgeoning LGBT Community.

Together for 47 years, Tom & Jerry have surely seen great change in the City they love, but their commitment to their annual holiday tree remains constant.

For me, sitting down with them to prepare this article was a revelation, even after knowing them for years. Like any couple, they spar and tease constantly, but their love of each other and genuine pride in this gift to San Francisco are immensely apparent and amazingly real.

Now, About That Tree!

Jerome purchased a 3-foot Norfolk Island pine indoor plant at Cost

Donna Sachet at Tom & Jerry’s house

Plus for his apartment during the 1970s, and when the two of them moved in together, along came the tiny tree. Within a few years, it had grown too tall for the house.

Without much thought, Tom planted it in front of their home.

Like Jack’s beanstalk, it found the nutrients it needed (Tom & Jerry say from a sewer line) to begin its phenomenal growth.

At first, Tom remembers throwing a few lights on the tree and eventually a decoration or two, but never anything too careful or obviously planned out. From the beginning, their goal was not to present some idealized holiday symbol, but to recreate the average tree found in many homes with a potpourri of mismatched decorations, multi-colored lights, and a homespun appearance.

The first gifts strewn around the tree bore red ribbons, a nod to the recently created red ribbon campaign for AIDS awareness, and the boxes cleverly disguised missing lower limbs. As the conifer became more monumental, Tom’s sense of style really kicked in, requiring decorations that were scaled to the size of the tree. Early disposable red pie plates adorned with sparkles became basketballs covered in metallic wrap and eventually beachballs appropriately dressed up for the occasion.

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In their travels all over the world, Tom & Jerry have lost count of the times that people have shared stories with them of their memory of the holiday tree. In an airport, on a cruise ship, on a beach, or in a convention hall, as soon as strangers hear that Tom & Jerry are from San Francisco and erect an outdoor holiday display each year, someone’s story about the tree will come spilling out with joy, laughter, and appreciation.

Neighborhood Landmark

On TV and Film

But what about the commotion such a frequently visited site must create on that street and in that neighborhood? Over the years, Tom & Jerry insist that, by and large, their neighbors have been most tolerant. Of course, signs are posted against honking horns and discouraging street parking.

All appropriate City permits are obtained and visits from the Fire and Police Department come with the territory. One neighbor even

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Historic photos courtesy of Jerome Goldstein

Jerome recalls a particular neighbor right across the street who had a penchant for calling the police and otherwise complicating the tree’s presentation each year. His frequent complaints, however, disappeared one year when his family visited and they all fell in love with the display, especially the children. And that’s the magical thing about this very visible exhibit! Young and old alike are charmed, often returning year after year and sometimes several times within a season.

What was once a small star grew to the multi-dimensional, luminous mega-star now topping the towering tree. Lights have become more numerous and complicated, eventually transitioning from incandescent to LED. Today’s tree is also surrounded by movement, a suggestion of Jerome’s, including a miniature Ferris wheel, train set, animated toys, and even a live Santa who hands out candy canes to everyone.

San Francisco Bay Times photographer Chloe Jackman with Santa

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contributes additional spotlights aimed at the tree from their house.

Perhaps that is what led them to accept an invitation to appear on ABC’s The Great Christmas Light Fight in 2018. Tom & Jerry were not enthusiastic from the start, objecting to the implication of the name of the show as a ruthless competition. That has always been the furthest thing from their inspiration. Union Square has its Macy’s tree, Ghirardelli Square lights a tree each year, every major hotel has its ornate holiday décor, and even the Castro has an annual holiday tree to rally that neighborhood, but Tom & Jerry are not competing with them or even with Rockefeller Center in New York. Far from it! This is a very personal project, done exactly the way they want to do it, consciously devoid of religious symbolism and maintaining a homespun style of its own.

CHLOE JACKMAN PHOTOGRAPHY

High atop one of the steepest hills in San Francisco, a glittering holiday tree appears each year, quickly becoming a destination for people from all over the City and beyond. It is not a corporately sponsored or produced decoration, but the loving project of two of San Francisco’s best-known hosts, generous benefactors, and active members of the LGBTQ Community: Dr. Jerome Goldstein & Tom Taylor. Over 65 feet tall and covered with colorful decorations and lights, this tree has become a beacon of holiday joy and a symbol of the very best about this season.

CHLOE JACKMAN PHOTOGRAPHY

By Donna Sachet

Nevertheless, they agreed to participate one year, on their own terms, and without any intention or expectation of winning a competition.

Interestingly, the network wanted them to assemble the tree in August for filming, and they politely declined.

When the episode was finally filmed, Tom & Jerry did everything they could to convey their purpose in mounting this lavish presentation each year, as a gift to the community they love. They were also determined to put no disguise on their relationship as a long-term married Gay couple, even sharing a warm kiss on national television.

More appropriately, Tom & Jerry produced a film documentary with their friend Richard Gutierrez titled Making Christmas: The View from the Tom & Jerry Christmas Tree that was included in the 2011 Frameline Film Festival. We highly recommend this joyful film, readily available online, to see the true story behind the tree as told by the creators themselves. You’ll meet some of the members of the team who help to create this display each year.

Weathering Challenges So, for over 30 years, the Tom & Jerry Christmas Tree has appeared. But has there ever been a time when Tom & Jerry were tempted to skip a year?

They insist that every year has had its challenges, perhaps this year most seriously when both faced dire health

issues, but miraculously bounced back. There also have been weather challenges, necessitating new waterresistant stuffing for the toys and protection for the mechanical machinery.

Getting everything in and out of storage each year has presented problems, but careful labeling, cleaning, and refurbishing have streamlined the process. Yes, there was the year that the cherry picker on site to lift decorations and lights to the top branches slid out of gear and into a house two doors down, crashing through the roof and into a room where their neighbor was peacefully reading; but even that has become just an amusing anecdote since Tom & Jerry quickly made all necessary repairs and the neighbor proved quite cooperative.

When a less than favorable mention of the tree appeared in the column of the legendary Herb Caen, Tom & Jerry found it mildly amusing and never missed a beat. Shortly after, even Herb came around to admire their gift to the City. And in those years when the mood of the country or the City has been less than positive—after the 9/11 tragedy, the Moscone and Milk assassinations, the recession, and the most recent presidential election—

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LGBTQ News & Calendar for the Bay Area CELEBRATING FOUR DECADES (1978–2019)

What Visitors Say About Tom & Jerry’s Holiday Tree

By Donna Sachet Quotes from visitors capture the magic of the display and give proper credit to this generous couple.

“They decorate in Philadelphia, but I never expected to see anything like this here!”

“I come back every year to watch it change and grow.”

“It’s really magical for the kids. (Looks at son.) He remembers last year coming and getting a candy cane from Santa and he’s been asking for weeks to come back.” “(It’s been there) in years when the economy was so bad and in the year 2001 when everybody just needed something to lift their heart again to let them know things are alright.”

PHOTO BY JO-LYNN OTTO

“We come by probably thirty times during the season, sometimes twice a day.”

“It allows me to believe in Santa Claus again, to believe in every little fantasy that one has about Christmas.”

“I don’t celebrate Christmas, but I come here every year.”

“It’s the talk of the town: the Tom & Jerry Christmas tree!”

The famous Tom and Jerry House appears at the end of the video at https://bit.ly/2qfM0cC

MOONCRICKET/FACEBOOK

Such holiday cheer and meaningful support from these and other visitors helps to keep Tom & Jerry’s holiday tree tradition going.

Tom & Jerry’s tree consistently appears in December, offering the same sparkling symbol of hope and joy and holiday spirit.

Donna Sachet is a celebrated performer, fundraiser, activist and philanthropist who has dedicated over two decades to the LGBTQ Community in San Francisco. Contact her at empsachet@gmail.com

PHOTO BY JO-LYNN OTTO

Thank you, Tom & Jerry, for allowing us to share your story with our readers, and thank you for taking on this Herculean task year after year to the great enjoyment of all those who visit it. We encourage you to see it for yourself and to share this special San Francisco tradition with those you love.

HENRYANDGARYGUIDE.COM

When we think of the holiday season, we can think of no more perfect emblem of Christmas than the Tom & Jerry tree. It is a gift, paid for entirely out of their own pockets, and given freely to all who accept it. Children come by with mouths agape, speechless at the spectacle. Neighbors begin or end their own holiday parties with a visit to the tree. Adults who saw it as children now bring their own children, nieces, nephews, and even grandchildren to share the wonder of it all. And visitors from all over the globe discover this display by accident or are sent by friends and, in turn, take the story back home with them of the colorful and creative Gay couple in San Francisco who decorate a 65-foot Norfolk Pine with lavish ornaments and twinkling lights, surrounded by giant packages and animated displays, simply to put smiles on the faces of the people of San Francisco. And perhaps that spirit of generosity spreads wherever the stories are told.

THEBUBBLYBAY.COM

A Gift to San Francisco

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This Month at the Castro Farmers’ Market

Specialty Produce for Celebrating Hmong New Year

By Debra Morris

Bok Choy

Give some of your tried and true family recipes a new twist with flavors from other countries. You will find delicious vegetables and products of the Hmong, Lao, and other Southeast Asian farmers, as well as those of Latin American farmers who grow the greens and other vegetables that are familiar to them from their home countries.

December brings the Hmong New Year, so we’re celebrating their culture through their food.

Along with bok choy, Japanese and Chinese eggplant, and Chinese broccoli, they grow an array of greens and vegetables that might be

unfamiliar to the Western palate.

Amaranth, mustard greens, chayote, water spinach, jicama, sweet potato, pea leaves, lemongrass, longbeans, bitter melon, opo squash, sinqua, and daikon radish are just some of the interesting and flavorful varieties that you can find at the farmers’ market.

Many of these vegetables can be used in the same way that you would use the Western version of the product. Chinese broccoli can be steamed and roasted; leafy greens can be added to soups and stews; Chinese cabbage can be made into slaw and salads.

J&M Farms also has bok choy, jujubes, moringa, mustard greens, and several herbs to add to your culinary creations. From Gilroy, they grow a variety of salad greens, spinach, and kale as well.

Enjoy something a bit different this month and deploy those taste buds with new flavors and textures.

Celebrate the diversity that is the Bay Area and California with exciting culinary adventures!

Have a great holiday season from all of us at the Pacific Coast Farmers’ Market Association!

Debra Morris is a spokesperson for the Pacific Coast Farmers’ Market Association (PCFMA).

Check out the PCFMA website for recipes, information about farmers’ markets throughout the region and for much more: https://www.pcfma.org/

(Please note: The Castro Farmers’ Market is closed for the season. Until the market returns in the spring, please visit the nearby Divisadero Farmers’ Market, Sundays from 10 am–2 pm at the DMV parking lot at 1375 Fell Street, San Francisco.)

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Red Amaranth-Asian Greens

PHOTO COURTESY OF PCFMA

PHOTO COURTESY OF PCFMA

We’re sure that you’ll enjoy whatever you make with these fantastic vegetables. TK Produce from Fresno at the Divisadero Farmers’ Market is new to our farmers’ market family and offers some great specialty produce to enjoy this month. Mild bok choy, big Napa cabbages, savory Chinese broccoli (gai lan), kabocha squash, sinqua, yu choy, and much more fill their tables. Their mounds of leafy greens will be hard to pass up with the large variety.

SAUTÉED G AI LAN 2 medium clove s of garlic, chop ped or sliced 1 bunch gai lan (Chinese brocc oli), chopped into bite-sized pieces 2 teaspoons oys ter sauce 1 tablespoon co oking oil Salt to taste Wash the gree ns, shake them dry, and chop them into bite -sized pieces. T hen peel and ch the garlic. War op m a sauté pan an d ad d When the oil is the oil. warm, add the gr e e n s lic together. Sa and garuté and stir un ti l th e st a desirable tex ems are ture — not too to u gh , b mushy— about ut not 5 –7 minutes at medium heat .

Turn the heat off and stir in th e oyster sauce Add salt if desi . red and serve.

Graton Unveils New Dim Sum Menu Created

by Master Chef Pit-fun Li Sonoma County’s Graton Resort & Casino recently announced the debut of its new dim sum menu at the Boathouse Asian Eatery. The Boathouse—created by partners Catherine Do, Hans Mogensen, and Executive Chef Tu Do—introduced the new menu on December 1 crafted by dim sum master Chef Pit-fun Li. Guests can now enjoy the new options at the restaurant on Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays.

“Dim sum has been among our most requested cuisines, so we’re excited to bring this amazing experience to our guests,” said Do. “We’re delighted to have Chef Pitt Li on board for this special launch as he creates dishes that emphasize the use of natural ingredients which bring out the classic dim sum flavor profile without using MSG.”

Master Dim Sum Chef Pit-fun Li

Born in Hong Kong, Chef Pit began his culinary career as an apprentice under Master Dim Sum Chef HanRong Li at the Guangzhou Restaurant Group in China when he was just 17 years old.

The Boathouse and Dim Sum He then joined the East Ocean Gourmet Group, Dim sum is prepared as small bitewhere he served as head sized portions of food, served in chef for their dim sum steamer baskets or on small plates. department. During The cuisine is commonly viewed as Cantonese, although other varieties his tenure, East Ocean Gourmet Group was feaexist. Among Chef Pit’s signature tured in media outlets dishes are the House-Roasted including The New York Duck and Shoa Lung Bao (soup Times and The Wall Street dumplings). Shoa Lung Bao are prepared using just the right amount Journal as serving some the of broth and the traditional dumpling best classic Cantonese cui“pinch” to secure them in place sine in Hong Kong.

before they hit the steamer.

Dim sum menu dishes available at the Boathouse Asian Eatery include: • Har gow dumplings, with dough made from scratch; • Shrimp & pork shumai; • Noodle roll in Chinese donut; • Char sui pork pastry (an Asian meat pie made with a flaky, crusty dough and savory sweet BBQ pork filling); • Hong Kong daikon cake; • Egg custard bao (a soft bao dessert with a creamy sweet egg custard center).

Graton Resort & Casino Dining In addition to the Boathouse, Graton features these restaurants: 630 Park Steakhouse (fine-dining steak and seafood, with an extensive wine list); Tony’s of North Beach (recently awarded “Best Pizzeria in America”

by Forbes); Daily Grill (classic, fresh American fare); and a collection of quick-serve restaurants in the Marketplace that serve everything from burritos to burgers to noodle soups. https://bit.ly/2qgKK96

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HOLIDAY arts preview

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LGBTQ News & Calendar for the Bay Area CELEBRATING FOUR DECADES (1978–2019)

Part II

Windham Hill Winter Solstice

Golden Girls Live

Handel’s Messiah

Smuin Ballet Darlene Love

Christmas Revels

SUMMER: The Donna Summer Musical

DECEMBER REAF’s Help Is on the Way for the Holidays XVIII Monday, December 9 Marines Memorial Theatre & VIP After Party at the Sir Francis Drake Hotel http://www.reaf.org The Richmond/Ermet Aid Foundation presents its annual holiday gala and concert. Benefiting Project Open Hand and AGUILAS, the program will feature cast members from The Donna Summer Musical and Hamilton plus a lineup of other stars.

Handel’s Messiah Wednesday, December 11 Grace Cathedral 1100 California Street, San Francisco http://www.gracecathedral.org Jeffrey Thomas will conduct the ABS period-instrument orchestra, the American Bach Choir, and a quartet of soloists.

Photographer Jordan Reznick and curator Margaret Tedesco’s exhibit explores how trans people’s embodiments and life experiences build movement for transgender pride and liberation.

A Very Misfit Cabaret Friday, December 13, through December 27 Alcazar Theatre 650 Geary Street, San Francisco https://www.krmisfitcabaret.com/ Misfit Cabaret is a variety show with a rotating cast of eccentric performers, from burlesque to drag to circus to magic. Emcee Kat Robichaud writes two original songs keeping with the theme of the evening. A special medley kicks off the entertainment and welcomes in the spirits of San Francisco’s saucy past.

Summer: The Donna Summer Musical Now through December 29 Golden Gate Theatre 1 Taylor Street, San Francisco http://www.broadwaysf.com

Christmas Revels Presents A Solstice Journey Through Time Friday, December 13, through December 24 First Congregational Church 2501 Harrison Street, Oakland http://www.califormiarevels.org

Including more than twenty of Summer’s classic hits, the show is an electric experience and moving tribute to an artist who risked it all to break through barriers, becoming the icon of an era and an inspiration for every music diva who followed.

The annual magnificent Revels tradition continues in a new location for 2019 ( just a few blocks away from their former home) and is focused on solstice celebrations through the ages.

Smuin Ballet’s The Christmas Ballet Multiple Dates/Venues, Now through December 29 Mountain View, San Francisco, and Carmel http://www.smuinballet.org

Windham Hill Winter Solstice Friday, December 20 Freight & Salvage 2020 Addison Street, Berkeley https://www.thefreight.org/

Talented dancers bring to life the Smuin Ballet’s unique contemporary choreography in a program combining styles from multiple genres—ballet, tap, jazz, swing, and more—with elegant visuals and unexpected costumes and staging.

A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens Now through December 24 A.C.T.’s Geary Theater 405 Geary Street, San Francisco http://www.act-sf.org Dickens’ classic returns to A.C.T. for the holiday season.

Golden Girls Live: The Christmas Episodes Now through December 21 Victoria Theatre, 2961 16th Street, San Francisco http://www.victoriatheatre.org An annual tradition, this drag send-up and loving tribute brings together local stars Heklina (Dorothy), Matthew Martin (Blanche), D’Arcy Drollinger (Rose), and Holotta Tymes (Sophia).

Gallery of Illustrious Queers: Portraits by Jordan Reznick Now through January 16 Hormel LGBTQIA Center SF Main Library, 100 Larkin Street, San Francisco http://www.sfpl.org

KIT’N KITTY’S

QUEER POP QUIZ

This night of soul-stirring music will feature Barbara Higbie, Will Ackerman, Todd Boston, and Mia Pixley. The event will mark the 35th Anniversary of Windham Hill’s annual Solstice Celebration at the Freight.

A Charlie Brown Christmas Live! With SF Symphony Saturday, December 21 Louise M. Davies Symphony Hall 201 Van Ness Avenue, San Francisco San Francisco Symphony performs Vince Guaraldi’s Peanuts music live at this multimedia show. With live actors and an animated backdrop plus the SF Symphony, this is a beloved holiday classic with a pre-event family-friendly reception and decorations and activities, including gigantic trees and Peanuts decor.

The Nutcracker Saturday, December 21 Paramount Theatre 2025 Broadway, Oakland http://www.paramounttheatre.com Oakland Ballet presents Graham Lustig’s fantastical take on Tchaikovsky’s classic ballet.

Sophie B. Hawkins Saturday, December 21 Yoshi’s 510 Embarcadero West, Oakland https://www.yoshis.com/ A legendary songstress whose ballad “As I Lay Me Down” holds the record as the longest-running hit single on the Billboard charts ever, Sophie B. Hawkins returns to the Bay Area.

Darlene Love: Love for the Holidays Sunday, December 22 Sunset Center San Carlos Street at Ninth Avenue, Carmel-by-the-Sea http://www.sunsetcenter.org The Rock & Roll Hall of Famer and powerhouse songstress will bring a full band to perform all of her classics for a one-night-only holiday show. “Christmas Baby (Please Come Home)” and “(Today I Met) The Boy I’m Gonna Marry” are just two of the tunes you’ll sing along to with Darlene Love.

Moscow Ballet’s Great Russian Nutcracker Monday, December 23 Ruth Finley Person Theater 50 Mark West Springs Road, Santa Rosa http://www.lutherburbankcenter.org Moscow Ballet’s Gift of Christmas Tour brings the Great Russian Nutcracker into a simpler time filled with sweet dreams and Christmas magic. Tchaikovsky’s timeless score will be brought to life by world class artists, over 200 dazzling costumes, stunning sets, towering puppets, and soaring birds that will fill the stage.

Holigays Are Here - Ring Them Bells Tuesday, December 24, 5 pm, 7 pm, 9 pm San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus Sydney Goldstein Theater 275 Hayes Street, San Francisco http://www.sfgmc.org With Artistic Director/Conductor Dr. Tim Seelig, the San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus has reached new levels of performance excellence, choreography, costuming, and staging. Laughter, tears, and cheers will all be there in an unforgettable program featuring 300 men’s voices.

27th Annual Kung Pao Kosher Comedy December 24–26 New Asia Restaurant 772 Pacific Avenue, San Francisco http://www.koshercomedy.com San Francisco’s annual holiday favorite features Jewish comedy on Christmas Eve in a Chinese restaurant, with emcee Lisa Geduldig and featuring Jackie Hoffman, Mark Maier, and Nathan Habib.

ONCE UPON A DIVA Disco star Sylvester was an early member of this avant-garde San Francisco drag troupe: A) Drag Syndrome B) The Cockettes C) Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence D) Trannyshack ANSWER ON PAGE 26

Karin Jaffie, aka Kit/Kitty Tapata, won the title of Mr. Gay San Francisco in 2011 and has earned many other honors since.

Connect with Jaffie via Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/pg/ktapata

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Temblores: An Exquisite, and Exquisitely Made, Powerful Drama from Guatemala spoke with me, for the San Francisco Bay Times, about his role.

Film Gary M. Kramer Out gay writer/director Jayro Bustamante’s Temblores (Tremors), opening December 6 at the Landmark Opera Plaza, is an exquisite—and exquisitely made— drama from Guatemala. Pablo ( Juan Pablo Olyslager) is an upper-class, evangelical, married father of two who leaves his family for Francisco (Maurio Armas). The ripples of his coming out create the tremors of the title as Pablo is cut off from his kids and brings shame on his family.

How he negotiates his situation is compelling as Pablo learns the harsh lesson that he cannot have it both ways. He enters a conversion therapy-like program to be “cured.”

Temblores is a quietly powerful film buoyed by Olyslager’s remarkable performance as a man torn between his true nature and what is expected of him by his family and society.

The actor recently

Gary M. Kramer: The film almost never uses the word gay, as if no one wanted to talk about this elephant in the room. Can you talk about attitudes and acceptance of homosexuality in Guatemala?

Juan Pablo Olyslager: There is a big pink elephant in the room called Guatemala. Many people find it uncomfortable to talk about it even though they have relatives and know gay people. It’s a deeply religious and conservative country. I see a glimmer of hope with new generations. New generations are being brought up differently by access to info other than from their parents. For some people it’s a desirable thing—to have a country where you have diversity.

It also depends on one’s social circle. Artists are more tolerant than businesspeople, or religious groups.

It’s still a touchy subject here.

Gary M. Kramer: Pablo’s sexuality causes him to lose his job and be branded as a pedophile (which he is not) to keep him away from his children. How are the laws designed to discriminate against gay people in Guatemala?

Juan Pablo Olyslager: There is not a law that doesn’t protect the gay community but there is not a law that protects it. There was a “pro-familia” law that right wing groups were advocating but it did not pass. It recognized traditional marriage. Homosexuals were not protected. You could be fired easily (continued on page 26)

My Epidemic: An AIDS Memoir of One Man’s Struggle as Doctor, Patient, and Survivor his memoir, My Epidemic (Culbertson Publishing, 2019).

Words Michele Karlsberg Michele Karlsberg: When Dr. Andrew Faulk first learned that he was HIV-positive, he was devastated. At the time, the diagnosis could have meant imminent death for the outstanding young physician.

That fateful day, he faced the great divide of his life. Due to the rigors and stress of his work, he considered abandoning his medical career. Instead, he dedicated the remainder of his life to the fight against HIV/AIDS. Being HIV-positive himself, Faulk could empathize with his patients in ways that other doctors could not.

In the early years of the epidemic, this meant witnessing the deaths of numerous loved ones, including a partner. With intuition, insight, and compassion, however, he brought peace and comfort whenever possible to those he called “my guys.” After a long silence, he recounts those heroic years and tells this, his true story as doctor, patient, and survivor. The following is an excerpt from 22

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In January of 1991, my world was crumbling around me—by then, Fred Lawrence was ill and Jack was undergoing chemotherapy at UCLA hospital. Chris’ downward spiral was another blow, albeit lesser, to my psychological equilibrium. The last time I saw him alive he was hospitalized in a large room at the Medical Center of North Hollywood.

Although the sun had set, the shades were drawn. The TV was off and his hospital tray stand stood with nothing on it except a Styrofoam cup with a straw in it. The back of his bed was raised and there, silhouetted by the fluorescent light panel behind him, Chris sat in a space empty of sound and people and stared ahead into a vacant room and the desolate future before him.

He was bright enough to know medicine had little to offer beyond pain control, indeed he asked no questions about further treatment. Words failed in the tableau before me; offering hope to this man would have been an affront to his intelligence.

Despite opiates for his pain, he lay awake, mentally intact and aware of approaching death. In our last days, most of us fear pain and loss of personal autonomy, but he had control of his bodily functions, so I asked him whether or not he was in pain.

He replied no, but said nothing more.

I couldn’t read anything in his face and although I’m comfortable with silence, the quiet here was agonizing.

Dr. Andrew Faulk

I was walking into a familiar situation yet it was unfamiliar at the same time. Often distant patients became surprisingly accessible when they’re confronted with approaching death, but this was not to be Chris Carley’s way. I began to see, however, that I didn’t have to say anything profound. I could give him quite possibly the most important gift any of us can give the dying—our presence.

In those days, before the advent of laptop computers and digitized patient records, physicians would sit at the centralized nursing desks and write out in longhand reports of patients’ progress and orders for tests and therapies. Nurses disliked any removal of patients’ charts from their stations because their absence could be a source of escalating confusion.

I understood: I appreciated the need for a central location for information.

But my connectedness with those in my care was paramount, and I felt it could best be obtained by charting in Chris’ room. I gathered all the records of my various patients and moved them into his room, sat down in a chair next to his bed, and began the process of charting. Whether (continued on page 27)

By Sister Dana Van Iquity Sister Dana sez, “World AIDS Day was commemorated worldwide. But what did Presi-dense Trump do? Well, the Democratic National Committee pointed out that his administration’s proposed budget for 2020 would slash funding for global HIV programs, putting countless lives at risk! DNC added, ‘This president is no ally of people living with HIV, who are disproportionately LGBTQ and people of color.’”

WORLD AIDS DAY —every December 1—is a reminder that nearly four decades into the epidemic, more than 70 million people around the world have been infected with the HIV virus, with 35 million people having died from HIVand AIDS-related causes. While much progress has been made in preventing and treating HIV, today 36 million people are currently living with the virus. New advancements in diagnostics, treatments, and medicine are helping nearly 20 million people live healthy with the disease. In the United States, 1.1 million people are currently living with HIV. On December 1, this year, over 1,500 people gathered in THE NATIONAL AIDS MEMORIAL. The Memorial relies solely on funding from personal donors and corporate partners to support its mission and programs, which now include the AIDS QUILT, and ensures that the story of AIDS and the AIDS movement is known in perpetuity so that never again will our national conscience allow a community to be devastated by an epidemic because of fear, silence, discrimination, or stigma. Created 28 years ago in San Francisco’s Golden Gate Park at the height of the HIV/AIDS epidemic, it is a place where those impacted by AIDS can grieve and heal. In 1996, legislation by U.S. Representative Nancy Pelosi was signed into law

by President Bill Clinton, elevating “the Grove” as this nation’s sole federally-designated National AIDS Memorial.

“The National AIDS Memorial is honored to recognize so many leaders on this World AIDS Day. They have all been an inspiration, forging common ground by sharing their personal stories, through their activism and by changing hearts and minds in this long struggle against HIV and AIDS,” said John Cunningham, Executive Director of the National AIDS Memorial. “Their collective voices have made a difference, through their loss, their love, and in helping us always remember the lives we’ve lost through this disease.” On World AIDS Day in the Grove, Rick Welts, president & COO of the GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS, was honored with the National Leadership Recognition Award. The Thom Weyand Unsung Hero Award was presented to Leslie Ewing, who has dedicated much of her life to LGBTQ civil rights. A $2.4 million grant from Gilead Sciences to support the Quilt Programs was also formally announced.

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displays as part of the annual “Light in the Grove” fundraising gala. We guests experienced a candlelight reflection at the Circle of Friends (engravings of those who have passed from AIDS), laying down our candles there, and we wandered reflectively through the illuminated Redwood Grove and musical choreographed Sister Dana (Dennis McMillan) with Larry Lare Nelson at Oasis where the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence raised funds to support performances by victims of the recent fire in the Castro. the James Graham Dancers.

Sister Dana sez, “There are On that night, during LIGHT IN THE GROVE, Co-chairs Beth Ross & Dan Dodd (both brand new board members) welcomed us.

They and we were so excited that the AIDS Quilt was coming home to find its permanent residence in the Grove. “The enormity of loss our beloved quilt represents is so profound, and has kept so many of us moving forward when, at so many times during this painful journey, we thought it was over,” said co-creator Cleve Jones. “I cannot express how meaningful it is to have the Quilt return to San Francisco, where it will live forever so that every story, every life, every friend and lover, will never, ever be forgotten.” Some of the quilts were on display at the event, with the rest due to arrive in EssEff in early 2020.

Entertainment of live music from the Golden Oldies (which I consider as ‘80s and ‘90s) was provided by Josh Klipp and the Klipptones. Mario P. Diaz, a former National AIDS Memorial Board member and longtime community relations leader with Wells Fargo, received the Lifetime of Commitment Award, presented

by Tom Nolan, PROJECT OPEN HAND executive director for 16 years. Mario, a dear friend of mine, who retired this year, held various positions within the WELLS FARGO FOUNDATION, and managed the charitable philanthropic program and volunteerism for the greater San Francisco region.

His unwavering commitment, compassion, and generosity have resulted in myriad philanthropic partnerships with organizations and communities.

He spoke of his “enduring friendships” that have helped him (and us) throughout the AIDS crisis.

BENEFIT FOR THE VICTIMS OF THE CASTRO FIRES was held at the Oasis on Thanksgiving Eve. We Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence and glorious members of the community raised $3,224 in donations + $2,500 with our Silent Auction. I got to take the stage and thank everyone for their support with my trouble in the fire—living just feet away from the burning building. I would also like to especially thank those who performed to make the evening a tremendous success: Grand Duchess Migitte Nielsen, Grand Duke Manny Santos, Sister Roma, Sister Tilda NexTime, Sister Mary Media, Kylie Minono, Mutha Chucka, Donna Sachet (who sang my favorite Sachet song, “We Can Be Kind”), Katya Smirnoff-Skyy, Glamma More, Elektra Befierce, Frida K-Hole, Princess Tiny Meat, Sister Bella Donna Summer, Glamamore, Miss Shugana, Madd Dogg 20/20, Emperor John Weber (who merrily spun me around onstage in a surprise dance), and, of course, DJ Jimmy Strano.

If I left anyone out, please forgive me.

It was an extremely emotional night!

so many ways to celebrate the Holi-daze. Check out some of these upcoming appropriately festive events!”

Ugly Xmas sweaters are on the rise, which can only mean it’s time for what has become a San Francisco tradition—the annual production of THE GOLDEN GIRLS LIVE! THE CHRISTMAS EPISODES at the Victoria Theatre, 2961 16th Street, now through December 22, Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays, 8 pm; Saturdays, 3 pm and 8 pm, Sundays, 2 pm and 7 pm. http://www.goldengirlssf.com/ RICHMOND/ERMET AID FOUNDATION (REAF) presents HELP IS ON THE WAY FOR THE HOLIDAYS concert at the Marines’ Memorial Theater, 609 Sutter Street, December 9, 7:30 pm.

It will feature both holiday songs and songs that reflect the spirit of the holidays—love, hope, and compassion.

Check out the amazing lineup of talent and the VIP after-party with the cast at the Sir Francis Drake Hotel following the concert. https://bit.ly/2YadM6R Come to the RAINBOW WORLD FUND’s WORLD TREE OF HOPE CELEBRATION on Tuesday, December 10, 6:30 pm at Grace Cathedral, 1100 California Street. Join us as we gather wishes and hopes for the future of our global community and give them wings.

Free admission. The entertainment is amazing. Just go to the website and see. We Sisters will do a blessing and help light the tree, including hundreds of white origami doves and wishes from children afar. https://bit.ly/2sz8F4o It’s a magical, merry, and mirthful evening (with just a bit of sass) celebrating the holiday season of giving on Tuesday, December 10, and Wednesday, December 11, at the legendary Feinstein’s at the Nikko, 222 Mason Street! Now in its 27th year, SONGS OF THE SEASON, a benefit supporting PRC, returns with star-studded talent, curated and hosted by Billboard Recording Artist Brian Kent. Note: there is a $20 food and beverage minimum per person in Feinstein’s at the Nikko and an 18% gratuity is added to all checks.

Check out the talented performers and my faves. https://bit.ly/2RdQXxS Sister Dana sez, “In less than three years, the Trump administration has seated more than 150 federal (most likely proTrump) judges—appointing nominees faster than any president in modern history. We’re talking 40 years of power, folks, for people picked by tyrannical Trump to make decisions about our bodies, our rights, and our lives. We gotta keep up our activism and not idly stand by!”

PHOTO COURTESY OF LARRY NELSON

Sister Dana Sez: Words of Wisdumb from a Fun Nun

Cupping the Flame of Women’s Culture:

The Montclair Women’s Cultural Arts Club Photos by Sandy Morris The new documentary Cupping the Flame of Women’s Culture, produced and directed by Helene Rosenbluth and executive produced by Barbara Price, was shown to a full house at Freight & Salvage in Berkeley on November 23. The event featured many of the legendary performers in person who are in the film and who also performed over the years at Price’s former Montclair Women’s Cultural Arts Club (MWCAC). For more about this incredible former Club in the East Bay, see the May 14, 2015, issue of the San Francisco Bay Times: https://bit.ly/2RhAE2Z The film memorialized The Closing Day concert held at the MWCAC in 2015.

Musical director for the recent event was renowned singer and educator Linda Tillery. She was joined on stage by Tammi Brown, Melanie DeMore, Alix Dobkin, Terry Garthwaite, Barbara Higbie, Holly Near, Sandra Washington, Sharon Washington, and Mary Watkins. Singer/ songwriter Margie Adam and community organizer Janet Rachel also attended this star-studded event that benefited the Linda Tillery Health Fund. Long live Linda!

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SHORTER (continued from page 3) relations record with the African American community in South Bend, and his seeming lack of any connection with or real interest in African Americans, or any communities of color as mayor or elsewhere in his life’s journey, were of aggregated concern.

Realizing and acknowledging this relationship deficit in his storyline and ambitious political quest, team Mayor Pete vowed to make progressive moves towards making him respectfully known to Black folks. His Douglas Plan: A Comprehensive Investment in the Empowerment of Black America to intentionally dismantle “racist structures and systems combined with equally intentional and affirmative investment of unprecedented scale in the freedom and self-determination of Black Americans” presented a reasonably well-informed and substantive better than average grasps of the issues concerning Black America, and critical response. Mayor Pete seems to get it, at least on paper.

ROSTOW (continued from page 5) denote the 100 talking points regarding structural, societal, systemic, and historical barriers that have far more immediately and consistently disadvantaged Black urban youth from good education versus not having real life Huxtable role models. The take down is brutal and unforgiving, to the point of name calling.

As the beef became viral, Mayor Pete and Mr. Harriot have since had some conversation, reportedly with the former’s plea that he actually knows better than his younger, more eager commentary on the complex state of African Americans and public education, and has rededicated himself to present a more realistic analysis moving forward.

After all, no one wants his campaign to die as Twitter fodder.

While I am not a staunch Pete for President supporter, I am rooting for Mr. Buttigieg. He may or may not become the nominee, but he must appreciate that even as he ranks as a frontrunning contender, he cannot win without climbing past 0% with African Americans. Still, I want to keep the faith with Pete that his forward-thinking vision of an inclusive America is truly inclusive, respectful, and mindful.

However, stumbles like the unfortunate tackiness of his campaign’s use of a stock photo of a Kenyan woman in materials meant to composite African American women was as cringeworthy as it was sadly laughable. What? Dude, we know you are polling at 0% with African Americans, but you all don’t have ONE sister on your team, in your corner, in South Bend, who could represent? Not one? It was a truly, truly sad reminder and exposure of the work ahead for you to demonstrate the inclusivity and diversity of support you promote and need. Or, maybe you think you don’t need it? You do. Come on, you can at least average 4% national African American support by February.

For Pete’s sake, I trust that he continues to keep faith that there are African Americans and other people of color that welcome him to the stage, and want to give him at least a half a chance as anyone else to make his case for the presidency. Most African Americans could really care less that Pete is gay, no more than we care to be considered the glaring blind spot in his race to the top.

Then, soon after the Kenyan photo debacle, a scorching call-out happened in the form of an editorial by The Root’s Michael Harriot. Mr. Harriot digs into a younger soon-to-be Mayor Pete’s worrisome and shortsighted on-camera remarks surmising that a lack of positive role models is chief in arresting African American youth from having a respectful appreciation for the value of a good education, while failing to

Andrea Shorter is a Commissioner and the former President of the historic San Francisco Commission on the Status of Women. She is a longtime advocate for criminal and juvenile justice reform, voter rights and marriage equality. A Co-Founder of the Bayard Rustin LGBT Coalition, she was a 2009 David Bohnett LGBT Leadership Fellow at the Harvard Kennedy School of Government.

SENATOR HARRIS (continued from page 3) The list could go on. While she clearly has had detractors over the years, even from our own community, most acknowledge her overall pro-LGBT record.

will let you know if a skating scene appears. Surely not.

If I’m not mistaken, one of the characters is actually named “Twinkle.” I’m not sure because I’m not really paying attention. By the way, you can watch this movie December 8 at 1 pm. Later that evening, you can watch the premier of the new L Word on Showtime. Fire up the popcorn.

The Beat Goes On I have a couple of negative anecdotes about people behaving badly to members of our community that clash with the festive music emanating from my TV. We had nasty pastor Josh Layfield, who complained about the gay kids’ book Prince and Knight after someone discovered a copy in the Upshur County, West Virginia, library. Layfield called the book a “deliberate attempt to indoctrinate, especially boys, into the LGBTQA lifestyle.”

I’m kind of impressed that Layfield came up with this community abbreviation, given the context.

Hey, even I’m not exactly sure what the “A” stands for. Asexual? Is that an orientation? At any rate, the book has been pulled pending a review of some sort.

As its author, Daniel Haack, pointed out: “If the protesters are worried that reading this book will turn someone gay, I can easily refer them to all the gay adults who grew up only reading about straight romances.”

Then we read about the substitute teacher in Utah who told a fifth grader that “homosexuality is wrong” after the child gave thanks for his gay dads.

A trio of girls reported the incident to the principal, who fired the sub at once. The substitute was subsequently axed by the staffing agency that had placed her at the school. Oh, and one of the dads is Louis van Amstel, a choreographer on Dancing with the Stars, so there’s that.

Or how about the thirty-something priest in Grand Rapids Michigan who denied communion to a local judge even though she had given thousands to support the church. Judge Sara Smolenski, 62, has attended mass at St. Stephens Parish for her entire life, but after marrying her wife Linda, Father Scott Nolan took it upon himself to blackball her from the sacrament. Nolan also denied communion to two gay parents at their child’s baptism. What a piece of work.

I could find you some more examples of religious people behaving badly, but it would be a little unChristian, don’t you think? Let’s end this section with the story of the mother who rejected her son after he came out of the closet. Before this sad incident, the young man had convinced her to share her secret meatloaf recipe, and she had done so with the proviso that he take the details to his grave. But as I said, that was before. Afterwards, he was angry enough that he posted the recipe, explained the situation, and called it “revenge meatloaf.” Of course, it went viral.

Much Ado About Nothing Update: The brothers’ mother is the one named “Twinkle” because her father said that she was born with a twinkle in her eye. One brother is a widower with a six-year-old daughter. He is not ready for a relationship because he is still grieving for his dead wife, but he has met another parent at school, a single mother with a daughter who has become friends with the other girl. The gay brother does not seem to be married, so I’m not sure how that will come about. Was my original reporting in error? We will see. Oh, never mind. He does have a husband. But the guy is not a main character. Hmmm.

Mel is watching this movie more closely than I am, every now and then screaming at the screen about various plot inconsistencies. And she actually made popcorn. She also just told me that Kamala Harris dropped out, which was not surprising after that scathing New York Times article about mismanagement on her campaign. I’m sorry. I liked her. But the campaigns themselves provide evidence of management expertise, or lack thereof.

Speaking of campaigns, what’s with Joe Biden’s “No Malarkey” bus tour? Folksy is one thing. Smarmy’s another. And why expose us to another mid-century expression? Hold up a gosh darn minute, Uncle Joe, while we fetch some soda pop from the ice box and put on another record!

Okay, the movie is coming to an end. And there’s the kiss.

I’m frankly disappointed. Seriously. The straight couple had several passionate kisses at the end of this movie, which is normal considering that they just got together and the romance had been building. But the gay kiss was an antiseptic peck on the lips. I watched the entire program for basically nothing. I didn’t even get my skating scene. As for the original article that inspired me to watch Twinkle All the Way, if this dry little smack is considered grist for a lengthy Daily Beast post (which it was!), we’re in trouble.

“The Gay Kiss in Twinkle All the Way Could Herald a Lifetime Christmas Movie Revolution” read the headline. Of course, I watched it!

Brian Sills, the actor who played the gay brother, told the Daily Beast that he is “quite overwhelmed” with the progress in gay acceptance that the movie represents. “It has moved and awakened me,” he said. “The ‘Stonewall Riots’ moments in our lives are so important, but so are these quiet moments of progress and evolution.”

Stonewall Riot moment? Um, not quite. Call me a cockeyed optimist, but I think we can do better.

Even in cable TV Christmas movies. arostow@aol.com

We expect that her efforts moving forward will continue working toward the following three key goals of her former presidential campaign’s LGBTQ+ Plan to Provide Equality and Dignity for All: 1 - “Roll back the Trump/Pence hate agenda by reversing Trump’s actions to harm the LGBTQ+ community, including the transgender service ban and guidelines to protect students from discrimination and harassment.”

2 - “Establish a Chief Advocate for LGBTQ+ affairs in the White House to ensure that LGBTQ+ Americans are represented in hiring and policy priorities across the government.”

3 - “Fight for full equality for the LGBTQ+ community by passing the Equality Act and other laws to ensure that everyone is safe and supported at work, at school, and throughout their communities.”

Finally, we note that President Trump, upon hearing of Harris’ announcement this week, tweeted: “Too bad. We will miss you Kamala.” She replied, “Don’t worry, Mr. President. I’ll see you at your trial.”

KIT’N KITTY’S

QUEER POP QUIZ ANSWER (Question on page 21) B) The Cockettes After moving to San Francisco in 1970 at the age of 22, Sylvester embraced the counterculture and joined The Cockettes. He produced solo segments within their shows that were heavily influenced by female blues and jazz singers like Billie Holiday and Josephine Baker.

Footage of Sylvester from this period can be viewed at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dglnGdb-y9w 26

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KRAMER (continued from page 22) from a job if someone finds out you are gay. Jayro [Bustamante, the director] wanted to portray some of the abominations, like equating homosexuals and pedophiles on the same level. People fear, so they make that stuff up. Things are slowly starting to change. And movies like Temblores will bring the subject to the table. An interesting discussion arose because of that.

Gary M. Kramer: Pablo gets into a healing program that is designed to cure him of his same-sex desires. What is your knowledge of these programs?

Juan Pablo Olyslager: The funny thing is that the founders of these groups go back to who they are—they fail themselves. There are many programs and they do their work in a silent manner.

I didn’t know about them until I made this film. It’s like a 12-step group and handled anonymously.

Gary M. Kramer: Your performance is great. It is both external and internal— we feel his conf lict. How did you calibrate Pablo’s emotions, both expressed and repressed?

Juan Pablo Olyslager: I think Pablo knew who he was since he was little but thought something was wrong with him. So, he ignored that idea. He comes from a wealthy, conservative family and is expected to meet someone from a good social class, marry, have kids, and die. With Francisco he found something he wanted. In his 40s, he’s having a midlife crisis. He wanted to experience the gay scene without being judged in Guatemala. What

Pablo wanted was to be with Francisco and have a relationship with his kids and a work life. He wanted this to coexist, and even go to church. But I think he is naïve that all of this could exist. I think Pablo at the end has to make a choice. You can see it in his face. He’s resigned [to conversion therapy] and he believes what the pastor is saying. Maybe they are right, and I have to go through this. He had faith in conversion therapy and expects to get something out of it—either clarity about his sexuality or a cure.

When people are in serious trouble emotionally, they are willing to believe anything just to feel better. So, Pablo could believe that the therapy was going to work, or he’d reject everything.

Gary M. Kramer: What are your observations on the characters in the film?

They are condemned or punished for their behavior. Pablo does assert at one point, “God wants me like this,” suggesting his sexuality is not a choice.

Juan Pablo Olyslager: It is very dangerous when people are righteous because they are religious. The options of heaven or hell are tricky when 94–95% of the population is religious and think they are right in knowing how other people should live. © 2019 Gary M. Kramer Gary M. Kramer is the author of “Independent Queer Cinema: Reviews and Interviews,” and the co-editor of “Directory of World Cinema: Argentina.” Follow him on Twitter @ garymkramer

ANDREWS (continued from page 9)

KARLSBERG (continued from page 22)

ing our City’s problems and making lasting change. How can we best move forward to meet the needs of those we are purposed to serve? How can we transform the conditions that surround individuals’ decision making so that they can decide for themselves to make choices or take actions that improve their health, their wellness, and their lives? What opportunities do we put into place?

What systems are standing in the way?

it was due to social abrasiveness, or perhaps conspicuous eccentricities, there were always some of my patients who had few social skills and fewer friends; it was not unusual for many to face their illness more or less alone.

In San Francisco and at PRC, we’re addressing deeply-rooted problems: housing, mental health, substance use, chronic health conditions. None exist in isolation, and as we continue—politically and practically—to address and prioritize their interconnections, we will build resilience in our City and across communities.

Leading PRC since 2003, Brett Andrews has overseen PRC’s evolution from a small HIV/AIDS legal service agency to an integrated social and behavioral health provider bent on fighting poverty, stigma and isolation by uplifting marginalized adults and affecting the social conditions of health.

He holds an M.A. in Industrial/Organizational Psychology from George Washington University, received the San Francisco Pride Celebration’s Heritage Award for 10+ years of service in 2017, and was appointed to the San Francisco Mayor’s Methamphetamine Task Force. https://prcsf.org/

I believe that my quiet presence next to my guys provided what routine medical training and expertise could not.

Andrew Faulk, M.D., is a retired physician who specializes in HIV/AIDS. He lives with his husband Frank Jernigan in San Francisco, where he paints with shattered glass and is active in progressive politics. His memoir is available at independent bookstores and online retailers.

Michele Karlsberg Marketing and Management specializes in publicity for the LGBTQI community. This year, Karlsberg celebrates 31 years of successful book campaigns. For more information: https://www.michelekarlsberg.com

Happy Holidays from the San Francisco Bay Times!

Take Me Home with You! Lily

Lotus

“Meet Lily and Lotus! These 3-year-old sisters have always lived together, and they’re looking for a new home that they can share. Lily is playful, outgoing, and will greet you at the door with a happy purr. Lotus is more reserved, but is incredibly sweet and ready to blossom in the right home. Come meet these lovely sisters at the Mission Campus Adoption Center!”

Lily and Lotus are presented to San Francisco Bay Times readers by Dr. Jennifer Scarlett, the SF SPCA’s Co-President. Our thanks also go to Krista Maloney for helping to get the word out about lovable pets like Lily and Lotus.

To meet Lily and Lotus, as well as other pets seeking their forever homes, please visit: San Francisco SPCA Mission Campus 250 Florida Street San Francisco, CA 94103 415-522-3500 Aside from major holidays, the adoption center is open Mon–Fri: 1–6 pm and Sat–Sun: 10 am–5 pm. Free parking is available for those wishing to adopt! For more info, please visit sfspca.org/adopt

Dr. Jennifer Scarlett and Pup

As Heard on the Street . . . Who is your favorite character from "The Golden Girls?" compiled by Rink

Debra Benedict

Raoul Thomas

Gordon Wu

Michael Evans

Bruce Beaudette

“Rose"

“Blanche"

“Dorothy"

“Dorothy”

“Blanche”

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LGBTQ News & Calendar for the Bay Area CELEBRATING FOUR DECADES (1978–2019)

COMING UP CALENDAR OF UPCOMING EVENTS http://sfbaytimes.com/ Compiled by Blake Dillon

5 Thursday Castro Art Walk @ Multiple Castro businesses and Jane Warner Plaza. Merchants, artists and musicians present an evening of free fun on first Thursdays. 6-9pm. http://www.castroartwalk.com Fantasia The Sketchbook Tour @Paramount Theater, 2025 Broadway, Oakland. The star brings her national tour to Oakland. 7:30pm. http://www.paramounttheater.com 10th Annual Drag Queens On Ice @ Union Square Ice Rink.

Join emcee Donna Sachet and the drag queens on the ice for a set of festive performances as only they can present. 8pm. http://www.unionsquareicerink.com Gallery of Illustrious Queers: Portraits by Jordan Reznick @ Hormel LGBTQIA Center, SF Main Library, 100 Larkin Street.

Photographer Jordan Reznick and curator Margaret Tedesco’s exhibit exploring how trans people’s embodiments and life experiences build movement for transgender pride and liberation. Through January 16, 2020. http://www.sfpl.org

6 Friday Tenderloin Tessie Christmas Cabaret @ First Unitarian Church, 1187 Franklin Street.

Home for the Holidays is the theme for this event supporting the organization’s holiday dinners.

Volunteers are needed to help at this annual holiday benefit. http://www.vanessabousay.com Ebabes TGIF with Ruby’s in Town @ The Terrace Room, Lake Merritt Hotel, 1800 Madison Street, Oakland. Join DB, Lynn and Jen and all the women for this longstanding mixer for women.

6pm. Ebabes on Facebook The Rainbow Flag: A Children’s History @ GLBT History Museum, 4127 18th Street. Author Michele Millar Fisher and illustrator Kat Kuang will present their new children’s book: The Rainbow Flag: Bright, Bold and Beautiful. 7-9pm. http://www.glbthistory.org

7 Saturday Family Builders By Adoption Orientation @ Family Builders, 1900 Embaradero, Suite 303. You can bring your questions about adoption to this informational event held monthly on first Saturdays.

9:45am. http://www.familybuilders.org Bad Santa SantaCon Party @ Love& Propaganda, 85 Compton Place, Union Square. Hosted by Fisher & Dolby and Crossroads Nightlife, the event returns to this location in conjunction with the large Santacon gathering at Union Square on the same date. 11am-6pm. nick@loveandpropaganda.com Noe Valley Holiday Wine Walk @ Noe Valley Town Square, 3861 24th Street. Sample delicious 28

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wines and explore the unique 24th Street neighborhood. 3-8pm. https://bit.ly/2Rb4Lcb The Sisters’ Second Annual Krampus Pageant @ El Rio, 3158 Mission Street. The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence pay homage to the sinister side of Santa by choosing the creepiest creep among the contestants to be crowned Krampus for 2019. 5-7pm. http://www.elriosf.com Holiday Gaiety with San Francisco Symphony @ Davies Symphony Hall, 201 Van Ness Avenue. Emcees Edwin Outwater and Peaches Christ will be joined by Miss Coco Peru, Courtney Act, Fou Fou Ha, Sister Roma, Patricia Racette & Beth Clayton and more for an old-fashioned holiday variety show.

7:30-10pm. http://www.sfsymphony.org Oakland Interfaith Gospel Choir 34th Annual Holiday Concert @ The Paramount Theatre, 2025 Broadway, Oakland. This concert has become an Oakland holiday tradition not to be missed. 8pm. http://www.paramounttheatre.com

8 Sunday Holiday Party & Art Sale @ Hunters Point Shipyard Artists, Bayview/Hunters Point. Be sure to visit San Francisco Bay Times readers, including Irene Hendrick at Studio 1224, Building 101, and many others too. 11am-5pm. http://www.shipyardartists.com Queer Pool Tournament @ Jolene’s Bar, 2700 16th Street.

Jolene’s hosts on Second Sundays two tournaments with eight players each followed by Left Hand KnockOut and One Eye KnockOut. 5pm9am. http://www.jolenessf.com Salsa Sunday with Mazacote @ El Rio, 3158 Mission Street. An afternoon party of live Salsa, Merengue and Cumbia bands on the patio every 2nd and 4th Sunday supporting nonprofit groups.

3-8pm. Beginners class at 3:00pm. http://www.sfaf.org San Francisco L Word Screening @ Jolene’s, 2700 16th Street. The L Word is back! Join HRC San Francisco Bay Area and Showtime for an official premiere watching event of the highly anticipated sequel. 6-9pm. http://www.jolenessf.com

9 Monday Do Ask Do Tell @ SF LGBT Center, 1800 Market Street. A weekly support group for LGBTQ+ community members who were in the military. 6-7pm. http://www.sfcenter.org Paint Nite: Worlds Without End @ The Hotel Majestic, 1500 Sutter Street. The event is one in an ongoing series on Mondays where you’ll be provided with paint, canvas, brushes, easels and a professional guide leading you in painting and you’ll take home your own

masterpiece. 7-9pm. http://www.yaymaker.com

10 Tuesday Harvey Milk Democratic Club December General Meeting @ The Women’s Building, 3543 18th Street. The agenda includes an open forum for candidates and members to discuss endorsements for DCCC; also bylaw amendments and executive board nominations. 7-9pm. http://www.milkclub.org World Tree of Hope Lighting Party @ Grace Cathedral, 1100 California Street. This annual celebration hosted by the Rainbow World Fund will include for 2019 emcee Honey Mahogany with performers Breanna Sinclaire, Connie Champagne and more. 6:30-8:30pm. http://www.rainbowworldfund.org

11 Wednesday Christmas with Walt & Mickey’s Christmas Carol Film Screening @ Walt Disney Family Museum, 104 Montgomery Street.

Walt’s daughter Diane Disney Miller will share how her dad spent the holidays both at work and at home. Disney’s version of the Charles Dickens classic tale will also be screened. 1-2:30pm. http://www.waltdisney.org A Drag Queen Christmas @ The Warfield, 982 Market Street.

A naughty tour of comedy and mature content. 7pm. http://www.thewarfieldtheatre.com Handel’s Messiah @ Grace Cathedral, 1100 California. Jeffrey Thomas will conduct the ABS period-instrument orchestra, the American Bach Choir and a quartet of soloists. 7:30-10:30pm. http://www.gracecathedral.org

12 Thursday Holiday Bazaar NightLife @ California Academy of Sciences, Golden Gate Park, 55 Music Concourse Drive. This evening is one in a popular ongoing series, with food and beverage options along with DJs, live music and dancing.

Shop a marketplace of gift-worthy treasures from dozens of local makers and merchants curated

by SF Bazaar. 6pm. http://www.calacademy.org Dykes with Drills Holiday Happy Hour @ Lost & Found Beer Garden, Oakland. This inclusive group of builders welcomes all to their get-togethers. 6-7:30pm. https://www.dykeswithdrills.com Smuin Ballet’s The Christmas Ballet @ Yerba Buena Center for the Arts, 701 Mission. This Bay Area holiday tradition features snow-kissed dancers clad in white gliding over the stage to multiple genres. 7:30pm. Additional dates and times through December 23. http:/www.smuinballet.org

13 Friday Older & Out Therapy Group @ Oakland LGBTQ Community Center, 3207 Lakeshore Avenue.

Sponsored by Pacific Center, this drop-in therapy group is for LGBTQ community members 60+ on Fridays. 2pm, 3pm and also on Mondays. http://www.pacificcenter.org Christmas Revels Presents “A Solstice Journey Through Time” @ First Congregational Church, 2501 Harrison Street. The annual Revels tradition continues with the 2019 show focused on

solstice celebrations through the ages. 7:30pm. Additional dates through December 24. http://www.califormiarevels.org The Hot Boxxx Girls @ Aunt Charlie’s Lounge, 133 Turk Street.

Every Friday and Saturday night, this bar presents a wild drag show that “warms the sequin cockles of your heart.” 10pm. http://www.hotboxxxgirls.com

14 Saturday Castro LGBTQ Cultural District Advisory Board Election @ SF LGBT Center, 1800 Market Street. The event is one of three elections to determine members of the Advisory Board to oversee the formation of the new Castro LGBGQ Cultural District.

12-3pm. http://www.castrolgbtq.org Alice B. Toklas LGBT Democratic Club Holiday Party @ Castro location provided with reservation. RSVP to receive the event address. 2-5pm. Alice Holiday Party on Facebook #Qtease @ The Stud, 399 9th Street. Described as a queer burlesque and cabaret experience, the show is performed on Saturdays at a longstanding and beloved LGBTQ bar. 6:30pm. http://www.studsf.com The Academy’s 3rd Annual Holiday Party: Winter Wonderland @ The Academy SF, 2166 Market Street. The Castro social club and barbershop hosts its annual holiday event and you can find out about how to become a member. 8pm-1am. http://www.academy-sf.com

15 Sunday Mr and Miss Cow Finale/ Chili Cook Off @ Lone Star Saloon, 1354 Harrison Street. The reigning monarchs host a benefit for the Monarchs Charity Fund and Administrative Funds. 4-8pm. http://www.imperialcouncilsf.org All We’ve Got – Bay Area Premiere @ Roxie Theater, 3117 16th Street. Filmmaker Alexis Clements will host the screening of this film exploring LGBTQ women’s communities, cultures and social justice work through the lens of the physical spaces they create from bars to bookstores to arts and political hubs. 4:15-6pm. https://bit.ly/2Y8xyzE

16 Monday Pubquiz at Virgil’s Sea Room @ The Big Queer Pubzquiz, 3152 Mission Street. This 90-minute quiz, based on current events and general knowledge with a special theme round, includes five rounds in ninety minutes with free drinks and weird prizes every Monday night. 7:30-9:30pm. nosportstrivai@gmail.com Holiday Lights Night Bloom @ SF Conservatory of Flowers, 100 JF Kennedy Drive. The event is a nightly opportunity to revel in the Conservatory where light and sound infuse the one-of-a-kind plant collection and iconic facade.

5pm through January 5. http://bit.ly/nightbloom2019

17 Tuesday Smart Drinking Group @ Strut, 3rd Floor470 Castro Street.

A weekly drop-in group with no requirements and all goals supported.

5:45-7:45pm. http://www.strutsf.org

The Chronicles of San Francisco Exhibit @ SF Museum of Modern Art, 151 Third Street.

Internationally recognized artist JR’s work displays the voices of SF as an extraordinary, unique and diverse city. Check ongoing daily times except Mondays. http://www.sfmoma.org

18 Wednesday Remarkable WWII Rosie Exhibit @ Jewett Gallery, SF Public Library, 100 Larkin Street. Artist Carol Witten exhibits 60 Digital Prints (diptychs) from her historical essay Remarkable WWII Rosie.

Continues through January 26. http://www.sfpl.org Golden Girls Live: The Christmas Episodes @ Victoria Theatre, 2961 16th Street. Now an annual tradition, this drags send-up and loving tribute brings local stars Heklina (Dorothy), Matthew Martin (Blanche), D’Arcy Drollinger (Rose), and Holotta Tymes (Sophia). 8pm and additional dates. http://www.victoriatheatre.org

19 Thursday Democratic Debate Watch Party @ Manny’s, 3092 16th Street. This popular civic and social space venue has become a favorite place to watch debates and this wil be the sixth one of the current race. 8-10pm. http://www.welcometomannys.com A Christmas Carol @ A.C.T.’s Geary Theater, 415 Geary Street.

Charles Dickens’ classic returns to A.C.T. for the holiday season.

Multiple times and dates through December 24. http://www.act-sf.org

20 Friday The Last Black Man in San Francisco Screening + Benefit @ Manny’s, 3092 16th Street. Two of this inspiring film’s actors will be there to discuss and raise funds to support the “Awareness Through Action” campaign highlighting social issues and injustices. 7-10pm. http://www.welcometoamnnys.com Windham Hill Winter Solstice @ Freight & Salvage, 2020 Addison Street, Berkeley.

Featuring Barbara Higbie, Will Ackerman, Todd Boston and Mia Pixley.

8pm. http:www.thefreight.org Friday Night Party @ White Horse Inn, 6551 Telegraph Avenue.

This every Friday event features drink specials, dancing and live DJs. 9pm-2am. http://www.whitehorsebar.com

21 Saturday The Nutcracker @ Paramount Theatre, 2025 Broadway, Oakland.

Oakland Ballet presents Graham Lustig’s musical. 1pm & 5pm. Also on Dec 22. http://www.paramounttheatre.com Sophie B. Hawkins @ Yoshi’s Oakland, 510 Embarcadero West, Oakland. A legendary songstress whose ballad “As I Lay Me Down” holds the record as the longestrunning hit single in the Billboard charts ever, Sophie B. Hawkins returns to the Bay Area. 8pm. http://www.yoshies.com Swagger Like Us Presents Josh Peace @ Jolene’s Bar, 2700 16th Street. 9pm-2am. This repeating event is a popular queer dance party. http://www.jolenessf.com

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AGUILAS Thanksgiving

Photos by Rink

AGUILAS—the nonprofit providing services, including HIV/AIDS testing, to Latino gay men—held its annual Thanksgiving celebration at the SF LGBT Community Center on Tuesday, November 26.

Jamie Botello and Maribel Rodriguez served as emcees for the evening, which included a Latin Pride social reception, dinner, raffles, dancing, and live entertainment by Juan Alberto and Juan Davila of the San Francisco Bay Times. Executive Director Eduardo Morales welcomed guests and honored Davila for his years of service to the organization. https://sfaguilas.org/

Holiday Windows at Macy’s Union Square Photos courtesy of SFSPCA San Francisco Animal Care and Control (SF ACC) this year has partnered with the San Francisco SPCA and Macy’s Union Square for Holiday Windows. This is the first time that SF ACC is part of the festive event. In addition to cats and dogs, this year’s Holiday Windows are featuring adorable, adoptable small animals like rabbits, chinchillas, and guinea pigs. The displays will be up through January 1, from 10 am to 7 pm, except on Christmas Day. https://www.sfspca.org/holiday-windows/

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SA N FRANCISCO BAY T I ME S

DE C E MB E R 5 , 2 0 1 9

Round About - All Over Town Holiday Season Continues

Photos by Rink

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LGBTQ News & Calendar for the Bay Area

CELEBRATING FOUR DECADES (1978–2019)

CASTRO STREETCAM presented by

Word has it that more holiday decorations are yet to come at Orphan Andy’s.

A holiday window display at the AIDS Healthcare Foundation/Magic Johnson Out of the Closet store on Polk Street

http://sfbaytimes.com/ One of the colorful holiday windows at Cliff’s Variety on Castro Street

Santa Claus rules over the holiday wonderland display inside Terrasol gift store on Polk Street.

A display of white foxes and a snow maiden in the holiday window at Terrasol gift store on Polk Street

items of the week

Husbands Alberto Rojas and Stephen Trimble displayed the holiday selections at Terrasol gift store on Polk Street.

Twinkly LED Lights Twinkly Lights are this season’s hottest decor item. They are fully programmable color changing LED String Lights, Icicle Lights, Curtain Lights and Pre-Lit Trees. Come see them live in our main display window!

The staff of Trans Thrive, a program of the San Francisco Health Center, welcomed some 200 guests for dinner at their TransGiving event held on Thanksgiving Day: (left to right) Carolyn Henry, Erica Roberts, Marsha Davidson, Tita Aida, Niko Kowell and Carsen Nepomuceno.

Host Khmera Rouge presented a superb pecan pie at the Empresses Bake Sale at Lookout bar.

RBG Needlepoint Kit The RBG needlepoint kit is the perfect gift for the crafter in your life.

RBG is just one of many on-trend designs in the collection. Come in to check out the others like “Doing my best” “This took forever” and “Feminist AF”

Empresses and an Emperor offered their baked goods for sale at the Imperial Empresses Bake Sale held at Lookout bar on November 27.

Host Brent Marek, second from left, with friends at the Imperial Court party at Beaux lounge

Empress Baby Shaques Munro performed at the monthly Imperial Court party at Beaux lounge on November 23.

Husbands Michael Housh and Angelina Josephina Manicotti offered their apple pie for sale at the Empresses Bake Sale on November 27.

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he air is crisp and the glitter is out in abundance. As you are out and about doing your holiday shoping I ask that you think about buying at least 1 new toy for the kids in our community who have less. We will be collecting toys until December 20th.

A California Highway Patrol officer welcomed attendees to the CHP booth at the San Francisco International Auto Show on November 29.

Don Ho Tse, Carlos Medal and Mark Paladini at Beaux lounge during the Imperial Court party

The ASPCA adoption booth, sponsored by Subaru, was a popular attraction at the San Francisco International Auto Show on November 29.

S AN F R ANC IS C O BAY T IM ES

DEC EM BER 5, 2019

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