San Francisco Bay Times - November 1, 2018

BAY TIMES S

A

N

F

R

A

N

C

I

S

C

O

LGBTQ News & Calendar for the Bay Area

CELEBRATING FOUR DECADES (1978–2018) November 1–14, 2018 | sfbaytimes.com

SF TRANSGENDER FILM FESTIVAL November 9–11 SEE PAGE 23

BAD THEOLOGY

PUSH PINK

TRANIMAL

An Attack on One Is an Attack on All less rebutted by reliable genetic evidence.”

6/26 and Beyond

This latest development comes on the heels of the Trump administration last year reversing the Obama administration’s protections for transgender students to be able to use the bathroom that matches their gender, and the Trump administration’s attempt to institute a ban on transgender Americans participating in the military.

We, like many others in the LGBTIQ community, were outraged when we learned of the Trump administration’s most recent shameless attack on transgender and gender non-binary people. As reported

by The New York Times in late October, Trump’s Department of Health and Human Services is leading an effort in essence to deny the very existence of transgender, intersex and genderqueer people and to enshrine discrimination against those who so identify into law.

Last month, the Trump administration also announced revocation of visas to unmarried partners of foreign LGB TIQ staff of diplomatic missions, the United Nations and other international organizat ion s — e v e n t hou g h these LGBTIQ people in many instances face horrific discrimination in their countries of origin. And Trump’s first appointee to the U.S. Supreme Court has already sided twice with opponents of LGBTIQ rights.

According to the Times, the administration wants the following definition of sex to apply to enforcement of Title IX, the federal law that prohibits gender discrimination in educational programs that receive federal financial assistance: “Sex means a person’s status as male or female based on immutable biological traits identifiable by or before birth ... . The sex listed on a person’s birth certificate, as originally issued, shall constitute definitive proof of a person’s sex un-

These actions not only further the destructive and divisive policy priorities of Trump, Pence, and other administration officials, but they also appear to be calculated political ploys to appeal to conservative evangelical voters and moneyed interests, essential to Trump and Pence’s political power. With the midterm elections just days away, the latest moves mirror the Bush administration’s 2004 efforts to energize their base through in-

flammatory attacks on marriage equality.

Most d i st u rbi ngly, Yale Professor Jason Stanley has pointed to Trump’s efforts to rollback LGBTIQ rights as an example of what Stanley describes as fascist political tactics in his new book How Fascism Works: The Politics of Us and Them.

In recent interviews with Democracy Now and ot her news out lets, Stanley describes how “fascism is an ideology based on power and loyalty” to one “hypernationalist” group, creating “divisions between ‘us and ‘them’” and “fear of the ot her.” By cont rast, “ l ibera l democracy is based on liberty a nd equa l it y ” t hat “requ i re truth.” Stanley explains that “to attack liberal democracy and replace it with power, you need to smash truth,” and require (continued on page 28)

PHOTO CREDIT: CNN/AP/PITTSBURGH POST GAZETTE/FACEBOOK

Stuart Gaffney & John Lewis

Bay Area Communities Mourn Victims of Pittsburgh Synagogue Shooting From Lake Merritt to San Jose City Hall, mourners gathered to remember the 11 victims of the October 27 mass shooting at Tree of Life (L’Simcha Congregation) in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. The shooting was the deadliest attack on the Jewish community in U.S. history.

In San Francisco, Mayor London Breed and other City officials joined with Congregation Emanu-El to remember the victims. As Breed said, we “stand in solidarity with people of all faiths against hatred, anti-Semitism and violence.”

Across the Bay, Berkeley Mayor Jesse Arreguín led a vigil. He said, “We condemn this act of bigotry and hatred. Let’s stand together as one community, united, at this difficult time and let everyone know that hate has no place in our community and in our country.”

California State Senator Scott Wiener issued the following statement: “As a Jew and as an American, my heart is broken about this hate crime

massacre. I pray for the victims, their families, and this community that will never be the same. Anti-Semitism is alive and well, and the current political environment only empowers people to act on their worst, most hateful impulses. The right-wing domestic terrorism we are experiencing—fueled by unlimited access to assault weapons and by our President’s disgusting rhetoric and the thugs he inspires—must end. We need to cleanse the body politic.”

A number of fundraising efforts are underway to assist with burials, repairs to the synagogue, help for the families of the victims and more.

They include the following: GoFundMe (verified page with funds going directly to Tree of Life): https://bit.ly/2JipxRc LaunchGood ( Muslims Unite for Pittsburgh Synagogue): https://bit.ly/2z7B6pV

Pittsburgh Penguins Foundation (page for Tree of Life): https://e.givesmart.com/events/bAV/ We also wish to highlight the Hebrew Immigrant Aid Society (HIAS). The shooting suspect, Robert Gregory Bowers, wrote on the platform Gab just before the massacre: “HIAS likes to bring invaders in that kill our people. I can’t sit by and watch my people get slaughtered. Screw your optics, I’m going in.”

HIAS, established in 1881, helps to protect Jewish refugees both in the U.S. and around the world. The organization posted this statement after the shooting: “As we try to process this horrifying tragedy, we pray that the American Jewish community and the country can find healing.”

To donate to HIAS, please go to: https://bit.ly/2z6RvLg

PayPal (page for Tree of Life): https://www.tolols.org/give S AN F R ANC IS C O BAY T IM ES

NOVEM BER 1, 2018

5

No Tricks, No Treats: Just VOTE! White House are now the enemy of the people?

Check Three: Ordering the erasure—yes, erasure—of transgender people from the public record, public acknowledgement, dignity and the right to exist. Yes, it’s happening.

This purge might just be more gasoline thrown upon the bonfire to gin up his base, but it is happening.

Cross Currents Andrea Shorter As I’m writing this there are five days and counting until mid-term election day.

In the few days and hours left, what more can be said other than these four words: Get Out The Vote!

The tricks and treats of last evening’s Halloween have come and gone, and in their wake, we now have more than just a few new things to add to the checklist of fresh hell-a madness that should not be happening but, sister, you better believe they are happening under this relentless reign of terror dispatched and inspired from the nation’s biggest bully from the highest bully pulpit: Check One: Homemade explosive devices mailed to Democratic leaders, including two former U.S. Presidents, a former U.S. Vice President, a former Secretary of State, Congressional members, and a Hollywood actor— all of whom who have been rightfully and thankfully critical of a dangerous, gloating and self-declared “nationalist” U.S. President.

Check Two: Same bomb threats delivered to CNN, a chief target of the President’s crusade against the free press and media as “enemies of the people.” Isn’t it interesting that the same press and media that made him the celebrity fake mogul reality star that eventually catapulted him to the

Check Four: The October 27 massacre at the Tree of Life Congregation in Pittsburgh by an anti-Semitic suspect who posted several messages supporting parts of President Trump’s political agenda.

What more horrif ic transgressions can we bare that will clearly demonstrate the need for a change? Who knows what else will have transpired between now and November 6 to ratchet up and manufacture divisive culture wars to rally a waning base of supporters to push back against a blue, pink or brown wave to save our republic, and to put back some semblance of check and balance against this dictatorial domination of all three branches of government.

If there were a rally call out from this President to bring back public lynchings to whip up his followers, sadly, would we be surprised? Shocked?

Maybe. Surprised? We are in such a deep, dark murky fresh hell of madness that, well, I don’t know if such an ugly, irresponsible and careless proposition from this leader would be of any surprise.

But isn’t that the point? Keep throwing out so many offensive offensive tactics that we’ll become comfortably numb, too weak and overwhelmed to defend ourselves against the indefensible positioned as offense, too checked out and too afraid to fight back? Oh, and don’t forget distracted.

At least no one is talking about Russia, election interferences, investigations, convictions, indictments, or any other such trivialities.

Blue wave. Pink wave. Brown wave.

Green wave. Whatever f loats your boat, and keeps all good boats afloat, just VOTE. Now is the time. Time to join a phone bank, text bank, walk some precincts, knock on some doors, put up that window sign, give that $3+ to those local, state and congressional candidates who will stand up for our civil rights, our right to exist as transgender, our rights to free speech, our rights to vote as citizens without threat or clearly suppressive tactics, the constitutional rights of a free press, the rights of immigrant families not to have their children ripped away from them and put in cages, women’s reproductive rights, to stand up for survivors of sexual assault and domestic violence without fear of being vilified, our rights to equal pay, livable wages, our rights not to be fired from jobs in half of the states because of how and whom we love, our rights to clean water, air and for scientific fact that our environment is in grave peril.

It is time to support candidates who will stand up to the bullying, the bigotry, the fear-mongering, the lies, the hubris, the racist dog whistling, the misogyny, the transphobia, the name calling, the hatred and the white nationalism.

Really, what more can be said? Come on now, we got this. Si se puede!

I gotta run now. Time to get back to getting out the vote.

Andrea Shorter is a Commissioner and the former President of the historic San Francisco Commission on the Status of Women. She is a longtime advocate for criminal and juvenile justice reform, voter rights, and marriage equality. A Co-founder of the Bayard Rustin LGBT Coalition, she was a 2009 David Bohnett LGBT Leadership Fellow at the Harvard Kennedy School of Government.

Resist. Stay woke.

The Women’s Building Wins Grant from the 2018 Partners in Preservation Campaign On Monday, October 29, the National Trust for Historic Preservation announced that The Women’s Building in San Francisco is a winner of the 2018 Partners in Preservation campaign that took place from September 24 to October 26. A grant of $150,000 will fund retrofitting of the historic Building’s windows, benefiting the entire neighborhood in the Mission.

An additional grant of $10,000 was also won as part of a mini competition that took place during the campaign.

Located at 3543 18th Street in San Francisco, The Women’s Building was the first woman-owned and operated community center. It was founded in 1979 by Roma Guy, Diane Jones and their colleagues.

6

SA N F RANCISCO BAY T I ME S

NOVE MB E R 1 , 2 0 1 8

After the win was announced, the organization issued this statement: “We are excited to use this grant specifically to retrofit our 108-year-old windows so that we can keep this building strong, beautiful and efficient. We look forward to this project that will help us keep this building running so that we can serve women, their families and so many other communities who need us right now!”

Ten other sites won grants, and will receive a total of $1.6 million.

To learn more about the campaign and the other winners, please visit: https://bit.ly/2yDVb7S We also recommend checking out the beautifully designed and informative website of The Women’s Building: https://womensbuilding.org/

The famous mural, MaestraPeace, appears on the front of The Women’s Building and continues around the sides. The names of more than 600 women are written in calligraphy in the entrance and hallway, including that of the mother of San Francisco Bay Times co-publisher Dr. Betty L. Sullivan.

Don’t Forget to Rank Your Vote on November 6 In an Oakland mayoral election, a candidate wins when they have a majority of support from the voters. With less than 34 percent in the first round, the front-runner in the aforementioned election simply did not come close to that threshold. Thankfully, under RCV, we could determine these results in one election instead of coming back for a second expensive runoff election.

Out of the Closet and into City Hall Oakland City Councilmember At-Large, Rebecca Kaplan We didn’t win the f ight for LGBT equality overnight. It took time, education, outreach, activists and lawyers to change not only the laws, but also public perception surrounding the LGBT community.

While we have come a long way, there are still inequities and misperceptions to address. The same holds true for ranked choice voting (RCV), an electoral reform that has stared down misinformation. Let’s be clear: If used properly, ranked choice voting in Oakland can be a win for voters.

Jean Quan’s victory in the 2010 mayoral race ( https://nyti.ms/2O6rLEd ) offered a learning opportunity for all of us.

Ranked choice voting is a 1-2-3 system in which voters rank their top three preferences on the ballot. If no candidate has a majority of votes after the initial tally, the candidate with the fewest votes is eliminated. Those who ranked that candidate as “Number 1” have their ballots counted for their next choice. This instant-runoff continues until a candidate wins with more than half the votes—and a candidate with backing from the widest number of people wins.

This system allows for consolidation to higher-turnout November elections. The 2010 Oakland elections brought 43 percent more voters to the polls compared to 2006, and just 0.3 percent of ballots were invalidated for voting errors. Compare that to the 2012 senate primary, where 4 percent of Oakland voters invalidated their ballots.

It’s not just mayoral races that can benefit from ranked choice voting.

According to analysis by the nonpartisan group FairVote

( https://www.fairvoteca.org/ ), more candidates of color and women have won office in Oakland and across the Bay Area since the switch to ranked choice voting.

It’s a far cry from my first council run in 2000, when many of the voters I talked to had never met an openly gay person before, much less considered having one as their councilmember. In fact, three other out candidates will be among the many viewpoints and backgrounds represented on Oakland’s ballot this November.

Let’s prove we can step up and speak out, by turning out at the polls. Show you stand for a more fair and democratic election by casting your ballot on November 6. And you get to vote for a f irst, second and third choice in one election, thereby helping to strengthen our democracy. In this ranked choice voting election for Mayor of Oakland, I’m voting #1 for Cat Brooks, #2 for Pamela Price and #3 for Saied Karamooz.

Councilmember At-Large Rebecca Kaplan was elected in 2008 to serve as Oakland’s citywide Councilmember; she was re-elected in 2016. She also serves on the Alameda County Transportation Commission (ACTC). Follow Councilmember Kaplan on Twitter @Kaplan4Oakland ( https://bit.ly/2OxFLer ) and Facebook ( https://bit.ly/2Qm2Qhk ).

The Bully’s Pulpit

By David Perry The bully pulpit has never been bullier: nor the Senate, the House and now the Supreme Court.

That’s a lot of bull, ah bullying.

ly rank race to the dumpster that is our surreal reality we must choose: reaching out or raging on; punching down or standing up.

Ever yone, it seems, i s j u s t i f i a b l y, m o u t h sputteringly angry.

There are bullies in stores: witness the recent tale of David Perry Admittedly, there is much a white lady berating two at which to be teed-off. The Spanish speakers for, well, pundits pout in constant commerspeaking. There are bullies online— cially-framed generalities. The Right although I’m sure First Immigrant feels dismissed by the Left. The Left Melania’s “Be Best Ignore the Rest” feels distasteful towards the Right. At campaign will put a stop to that any some point, the Center must hold or midterm now. There are bullies on just cry out: “Hold on!” the Left and bullies on the Right, but not so much in the middle, since We can’t go on like this. For a while, breaking up a civil-less war generally one can ignore it. I did: two months of requires something approaching bal- re-reading Winnie the Pooh (seriously), ance in the Farce that has become our taking long walks, writing haikus and body blow of political debase, ah de- not signing onto Facebook or Twitter.

Call it a social media enema. But, the bate. wash was incomplete. I could only igBullying vs. Debate. That is the nore the stink of what is happening in choice. Every day in this increasing- our country for so long. I’m not Rip

Van Winkle and I’m hoping that neither are the voters who will soon be heading to the polls.

When Teddy Roosevelt coined the term “bully pulpit” for the power of the Presidency to attract attention, he didn’t anticipate it digressing into attention deficit disorder. But, so it has become. Trump is a bully. More to the point, he has used his bully pulpit to make such behavior acceptable.

Call it trickle down ugliness. I do not understand DJT’s base (and I’m pretty sure they don’t understand me, either). However, I look forward to a day when 45 (and certainly 46) isn’t so base. That, indeed, would be, as 26 might say, just bully.

I live in hope.

David Perry is the CEO and Founder of David Perry & Associates, Inc. ( https://www.davidperry.com/ ).

Openhouse Portrait Unveiling

S

A

N

F

R

A

N

C

I

S

C

O

LGBTQ News & Calendar for the Bay Area CELEBRATING FOUR DECADES (1978–2018)

8

SA N F RANCISCO BAY T I ME S

NOVE MB E R 1 , 2 0 1 8

PHOTO BY PAUL MARGOLIS PHOTO BY J.P. LOR

BAY TIMES

PHOTO BY J.P. LOR

Read current and past issues of San Francisco Bay Times at http://www.issuu.com

Dr. Marcy Adelman was honored at a Portrait Unveiling Party held at the Openhouse Community’s 55 Laguna facility on Tuesday, October 30. The original painting by renowned artist Elaine Badgley Arnoux was unveiled.

The portrait, which depicts Dr. Adelman and her late partner Jeanette Gurevitch, will hang on the wall at the new 75 Laguna facility, which will be named in their honor, when the new building opens in April 2019.

Passion and Perseverance burgh by a man shouting, “All Jews must die”; bombs are mailed to CNN and the Democratic party leadership in a failed assassination attempt; and a new national policy is announced that would strip legal protection for Transgender people by denying their very existence.

Aging in Community Dr. Marcy Adelman Every day as we get closer to the November 6th mid-term elections our fears, anger and resolve intensify. The daily news is a nightmare of violence and attempted violence: Jews are murdered in a synagogue in Pitts-

We know what is at stake! Our democracy, our freedom and our very lives are at risk. This political crisis is a fight for the heart and soul of our country. It will require both passion and perseverance if we are to overcome and resolve it. Win or lose in the mid-term elections, we will have to continue to fight against racism, transphobia and anti-Semitism, and continue to defend the lives of immigrant families and their children, as well as the survival of Mother Earth herself.

This fight we are in, to take back and renew our country, will not be won in a single day. This fight we are in is not a sprint, but a marathon.

Pace and brace yourself accordingly. Stay safe and continue to stay engaged. See you on the other side of the elections.

Dr. Marcy Adelman oversees the A g ing in Communit y column .

She is a psychologist and LGBTQI longe vity a dvocate an d polic y advisor. She serves on the California Commission on Aging, the Board of the Alzheimer’s Association of Northern California and Northern Nevada and the San Francisco Dignity F und O versight and Advisory Committee.

Enough Is Enough: Vote Prop C

By Dr. Marcy Adelman After doing some errands one Saturday afternoon in mid-August of last year, I turned on to San Bruno Avenue from Division and had to jam on the breaks. A naked woman stood in the middle of the street, jumping and gesticulating as if acting out some kind of ancient ritual. She was clearly out of her mind or on drugs, or both.

Homeless men stood in front of tents and shopping carts filled with their belongings, silently watching. My first instinct was to get out of the car to help her, but I didn’t feel safe to do that. I also knew that I couldn’t leave her there alone. So, I pulled over the car, called the police and told them that I would stay until the woman was safe and taken care of.

After what seemed like an excruciatingly long time, a police car arrived 10 minutes later. Two police officers stepped out of the car and very slowly and carefully approached the woman, who still stood in the middle of the street. I was so intent on watching them that I didn’t notice that many of the homeless men who had been witnessing the scene had disappeared.

Two more police cars pulled up.

When the fire engine arrived, a woman firefighter stepped out with a blanket and covered the woman (now sitting on the curb), and stayed close to her until an ambulance arrived to take the woman to the hospital.

We have always known that it would take housing and services to solve the homeless crisis. But we have been told it is just too expensive or too complex to fix. And yes, homelessness is a regional and statewide crisis. But now, the time is up on waiting for someone else to find a solution to this humanitarian and health crisis right here in our own back yard. No more band aids, no more wringing of hands, no more waiting.

Prop C is a measure on the November ballot that is a bold, local initiative. If passed, Prop C would levy a small tax of .5% on major corporations with annual incomes above 50 million dollars. Estimated to raise over $300 million dollars annually in funding, the measure assures that: half of those funds will construct 4,000 affordable homes for low income San Franciscans; one-quarter of the funds will pay for mental health and substance abuse treatment; and the remaining funds will go to 1,000 new shelter beds, more public restrooms, and homelessness prevention measures such as rent subsidies and legal assistance for low income and disabled residents.

One of the criticisms of Prop C is that it will drive corporations out of San Francisco in search of lower taxes. That claim, however, was rejected by the San Francisco Office of Economic Analysis (OEA) after an impact review that determined that the proposed tax would have a negligible impact on city business. ( https://bit.ly/2yCGmCs ).

According to Brian Basinger, Executive Director of Q Foundation, a San Francisco non-profit that provides rental subsidies to low-income seniors and adults with disabilities, “Prop C is crafted by experts to scale.

We know what to do; we just need to do more of it. Regional and state solutions can work in tandem with local initiatives; it isn’t an either or solution.”

Enough is enough. Vote Prop C. Dr. Marcy Adelman oversees the A g ing in Communit y column .

She is a psychologist and LGBTQI longe vity a dvocate an d polic y advisor. She serves on the California Commission on Aging, the Board of the Alzheimer’s Association of Northern California and Northern Nevada and the San Francisco Dignity F und O versight and Advisory Committee.

PHOTO COURTESY OF DR. MARCY ADELMAN

This is just one of countless stories I could share with you. There are just too many heartbreaking stories of people working hard in low wage jobs who aren’t able to pay their rent and who have no safety net to keep them from winding up living on the

streets. There are too many stories of vulnerable seniors and families evicted from their housing. Too many stories of people severely cha llenged with mental health and or substance abuse issues who have no one to help them, no place to live and no ability to stabilize their lives.

SFPD and SFFD first responders arrive to provide assistance.

Alegre Home Care is proud to support Dr. Marcy Adelman’s Aging in Community column in the San Francisco Bay Times.

S AN F R ANC IS C O BAY T IM ES

NOVEM BER 1, 2018

9

OurTownSF Nonprofit Expo 2018 Photos by Paul Margolis and J.P. Lor Some t wo hundred nonprof its, agencies, institutes, businesses and individuals came together as exhibitors, sponsors and supporters of the OurTownSF Nonprofit Expo held Saturday, October 20, in the gymnasium of the Eureka Valley Recreation Center. The event, now in its third year, has grown exponentially and attracts a large number of community members as attendees as well as volunteers and staff representing the participating organizations.

BAY TIMES S

A

N

F

R

A

N

C

I

S

C

O

LGBTQ News & Calendar for the Bay Area

CELEBRATING FOUR DECADES (1978–2018)

SF, Sundance Saloon, San Francisco Lesbian/Gay Freedom Band, BeBe Sweetbriar, Leannne Borghesi, Emjay Mercury and the Rice Rockettes drag troupe.

OurTownSF’s Paul Margolis, along with TurnOut’s Jack Beck and the Rec Center’s Adela Dominguez, welcomed guests and introduced the emcees, including St. James Inf irmary’s Toni Newman, Openhouse’s Natalie Summers, blogger and journalist Race Bannon and “First Lady of the Castro” Donna Sachet, whose column Donna’s Chronicles appears in every issue of the San Francisco Bay Times.

PHOTO BY J.P. LOR

Activist Cleve Jones was there to sign copies of his book, When We Rise: My Life in the Movement (Hachette Books, 2016). San Francisco Community Health Center provided a Transgender Resource Center. Face painting was offered by staff from the SF Department of Parks & Recreation. A Kids and Family Area was hosted by Our Family Coalition.

An HIV and Aging Resource Area was provided by the Elizabeth Taylor 50+. Many more popular activities were offered.

Congratulations to Paul Margolis and to the staff and volunteers of OurTownSF on producing the largest SF LGBTQ resource fair ever!

10

SA N FRANCISCO BAY T I ME S

NOVE MB E R 1 , 2 0 1 8

PHOTO BY PAUL MARGOLIS PHOTO BY PAUL MARGOLIS PHOTO BY J.P. LOR PHOTO BY PAUL MARGOLIS PHOTO BY J.P. LOR

PHOTO BY J.P. LOR

PHOTO BY PAUL MARGOLIS

PHOTO BY PAUL MARGOLIS PHOTO BY J.P. LOR PHOTO BY J.P. LOR

PHOTO BY PAUL MARGOLIS PHOTO BY J.P. LOR

PHOTO BY J.P. LOR

PHOTO BY PAUL MARGOLIS

PHOTO BY J.P. LOR

PHOTO BY PAUL MARGOLIS

PHOTO BY J.P. LOR

PHOTO BY PAUL MARGOLIS

PHOTO BY J.P. LOR

PHOTO BY PAUL MARGOLIS

Among those providing entertainment and live performances were CHEER

Business Tips from GGBA

The Importance of Understanding Communication Styles in the Workplace By Erin Hoffman Anyone who has worked in any industry knows that conf licting personalities take a toll on teamwork, morale and the successful completion of a project. But what many people might not know is that they don’t have to just learn to deal with a coworker. Instead, teams can seek to understand and invest in programs and trainings to educate employees on how best to communicate with each other.

For example, I am an advocate of the WorkTraits communication assessment system.

When I do a communication training, I ask each employee to take the online assessment, which is then evaluated and the individual is given a name for their behavioral style (i.e.

Decision-Maker, Encourager, Facilitator, or Tracker) and core conviction style (i.e. Ambition, Belief, Compassion, or Discipline). Each staff member is provided the opportunity to learn about their coworkers’ assessments as well. Then, the team is taught how to effectively communicate with each other, ultimate-

GGBA Member Spotlight GPSGAY is a mobile app and website offering different services for the LGBT community: online videos, places to go to, a social network and more. We interviewed Magdalena Rodríguez, a seasoned entrepreneur and one of the cofounders of the app. Keep on reading to learn about her journey as an entrepreneur. Give a try to the app: there’s something for everyone!

GGBA: Please tell us about your business, its mission and values, and what kind of problems you are helping your customers to solve.

Magdalena Rodríguez: GPSGAY offers a free safe space online for the LGBT community, available in Mobile Apps (Android & iOS) and also via web.

It provides a friendly environment where the whole community can interact with each other, find content, documentaries, NGOs for support, online consulting about sexuality, events (parades, conferences) and friendly places to go to. Available in Spanish, English and Portuguese, GPSGAY not only addresses social inclusion, work inclusion, health and selfesteem issues, but it also works as a channel for companies and organizations that wish to reach out to, and further engage with, the LGBT community.

GGBA: Why did you decide to create GPSGAY? Magdalena Rodríguez: Throughout the Globe, LGBT communities are often overlooked by social applications that are marketing to a predominately het-

Understanding how your coworkers think, process and act on information is integral to effective communication. Proper communication techniques are the foundation of teamwork. In turn, teamwork leads to achieving goals, completing projects (on time!) and developing a general camaraderie that positively contributes to the company’s culture.

Bottom Line Use a communication style assessment to understand how the individual personalities on your team can best work together. When we engage in teamwork and support one another, anything is possible.

Erin Hoffman is Director of Operations and a Certified Trainer at WorkTraits, http://www.worktraits.com/

GPSGAY

erosexual audience, making it difficult for these communities to find niche services and meeting spaces.

At GPSGAY we aim to revert the incorrect image that many people still have about the LGBT community, which causes isolation, bullying and fear for 10% of the human population. It seems that most of the online services for LGBT are dating and sexual encounters apps, focusing especially on men. Yes, sex is part of the community lives, but is not the only thing. We are a for-profit with social impact, looking to become the epicenter of the LGBT culture online.

This is our second startup. GPSGAY was born as a spin-off of PRO International, one of the leading web design agencies in Uruguay. Since we had the knowledge and resources to create GPSGAY we decided to start this new company, because we wanted to add value to the LGBT community and do something meaningful for us.

GGBA: Do you have any specific policies in place that benefit the LGBT Community?

Magdalena Rodríguez: Our network was created specifically to benefit the LGBT Community. Our users love us. We have almost a million users, with great level of engagement and generating a very real tangible impact on their lives. We know this not only because of the comments and emails that we receive every day, telling us stories of how their lives changed for the better with GPS-

Membership Has Its Benefits!

The Golden Gate Business Association (GGBA) is the world’s first LGBTQ Chamber of Commerce, and is now one of 65 around the globe advocating for positive economic, social and political change for LGBTQ businesses to prosper, create jobs and to have economic equality.

Our mission is to champion opportunity, development and advocacy for our LGBTQ & Allied business community.

We empower our small business entrepreneurs and professionals by creating opportunities for marketing, networking, procurement and referral-based business growth. We also collaborate with other nonprofits and engage with business and civic leaders to support policies that foster a more inclusive and welcoming business community, thus creating greater opportunities for our member businesses.

If you are an LGBTQ or Allied business person looking for a place to make sincere connections that can lead to greater success and a sense of community, the GGBA is the place for you. We encourage you to visit our next event to see for yourself.

For more details: https://ggba.com/

ly breaking down barriers and working better together.

GAY; but also working hand by hand with Corporations and Foundations to implement policies that benefit the LGBT community. For example, before we started working with IBM Uruguay, a company that has around 500 hundred employees in the country, they only had 1 person out of the closet. After the actions we did with them, they now have a group of people out, and actively working on LGBT issues. With the United Nations, we did a survey of how many people had taken the HIV test, and if they had not, why.

It turned out many had not taken it because they did not know where to take it, and so we added to our map all the places where people could take an HIV test for free. Also, with the help of UNAIDS, we created an online consulting area about sexuality and safe sex, where users can ask questions and a specialist answers those questions.

GGBA: Do you have any specific policies in place regarding workplace equality?

Magdalena Rodríguez: As part of the LGBT community, we understand how important it is to have policies in place regarding workplace equality. We believe that diversity helps draw top talent and foster innovation, and people perform significantly better when they can be themselves at work.

GGBA: How did you hear about the GGBA and why did you decide to join?

Magdalena Rodríguez: We heard about GGBA at the Annual NGLCC Business and Leadership Conference. Since we were thinking about expanding GPSGAY to the rest of the world, we received some government funds for globalization and we decided to move to San Francisco to try to find investment, since it’s the HUB for tech companies and at the same time is the most gay friendly city in the world. The first thing we did when we arrived in the U.S. was to become members at the (continued on page 28)

GGBA CALENDAR CPUC/Joint Utilities San Ramon Small/ Diverse Business Expo Thursday, November 1 7:30 am to 1 pm Roundhouse Conference Center 2600 Camino Ramon San Ramon, CA 94583 http://www.cpuc.ca.gov/Small_Business_Expos/ 8th Annual California Cable Diversity Expo This one-on-one matchmaking event connects Minority, Women, LGBT, Service Disabled Veteran and DisabilityOwned businesses with potential procurement opportunities with Charter Communications, Comcast and Cox Communications.

Friday, November 2 8:30 am to 2:30 pm The Westin South Coast Plaza Costa Mesa 686 Anton Boulevard Costa Mesa, CA 92626 For information, email: CAdiversityplanning@aplusmeetings.com

Stand Up & Speak OUT! AM Bi-Weekly Workshop on how to be a more effective Speaker and Communicator Featuring National Award-Winning Speaker, Gina Grahame Wednesday, November 7 7:30 am to 8:45 am Offices of the U.S. Small Business Administration 455 Market Street, 6th Floor, San Francisco, CA 94105 Register at https://ggba.com/ Stand Up & Speak OUT! PM Bi-Weekly Workshop on how to be a more effective Speaker and Communicator Featuring National Award-Winning Speaker, Gina Grahame Wednesday, November 21 3 pm to 5 pm Offices of the U.S. Small Business Administration 455 Market Street, 6th Floor, San Francisco, CA 94105 Register at https://ggba.com/

S AN F R ANC IS C O BAY T IM ES

NOVEM BER 1, 2018

11

Thinking About Anti-Depressants A: It is your absolute right to decide what you are going to put into your body, and if you don’t want to take anti-depressants, whatever your reasons, then you are right not to let anyone else pressure you into doing it.

But having said that, I also think it’s important that you base your decisions on accurate information and clear thinking. To that end, I have a few comments on what you wrote.

Roland Schembari and Bill Hartman, Co-Founders Randy Alfred, Founding News Editor 1978 Kim Corsaro Publisher 1981-2011

2261 Market Street, No. 309 San Francisco CA 94114 Phone: 415-601-2113 525 Bellevue Avenue Oakland CA 94610 E-mail: editor@sfbaytimes.com www.sfbaytimes.com The Bay Times was the first newspaper in California, and among the first in the world, to be jointly and equally produced by lesbians and gay men.

We honor our history and the paper’s ability to build and strengthen unity in our community.

The Bay Times is proud to be the only newspaper for the LGBT community in San Francisco that is 100% owned and operated by LGBT individuals.

Dr. Betty L. Sullivan Jennifer L. Viegas Co-Publishers & Co-Editors

Beth Greene Michael Delgado Abby Zimberg Design & Production

Kate Laws Business Manager Blake Dillon Calendar Editor

Kit Kennedy Poet-In-Residence J.H. Herren Technology Director Carla Ramos

Web Coordinator

Mario Ordonez Juan Ordonez Distribution

CONTRIBUTORS Writers Rink, Sister Dana Van Iquity, Ann Rostow, Patrick Carney, Kate Kendell, Alex Randolph, Heidi Beeler, Gary M. Kramer, Dennis McMillan, Tom Moon, Tim Seelig, Cinder Ernst, John Chen Rafael Mandelman, Jewelle Gomez, Phil Ting, Rebecca Kaplan, Kin Folkz, Leslie Katz, Philip Ruth, Peter Gallotta, Bill Lipsky, Karen Williams, Donna Sachet, Gary Virginia, Zoe Dunning, Marcy Adelman, Stuart Gaffney & John Lewis Brandon Miller, Jamie Leno Zimron Michele Karlsberg Lyndsey Schlax, Randy Coleman, Debra Walker, Howard Steiermann, Andrea Shorter, Scott Tsui, Tom Temprano, Lou Fischer, Frankie Bashan, Karin Jaffie, Brett Andrews, Karen E. Bardsley Photographers Rink, Phyllis Costa, Jane Higgins Paul Margolis, Chloe Jackman, Bill Wilson, Jo-Lynn Otto, Sandy Morris, Abby Zimberg, Morgan Shidler, JP Lor ADVERTISING Display Advertising Standard Rate Cards http://sfbaytimes.com/ or 415-503-1375 Custom ad sizes are available. Ads are reviewed by the publishers.

National Advertising: Contact Bay Times / San Francisco.

Represented by Rivendell Media: 908-232-2021 Circulation is verified by an independent agency Reprints by permission only.

CALENDAR Submit events for consideration by e-mail to: calendar@sfbaytimes.com © 2018 Bay Times Media Company Co-owned by Betty L. Sullivan & Jennifer L. Viegas

Examined Life Tom Moon, MFT Q: I’ve been depressed for at least a year and a half, and I’m doing my best to get over it. But my doctor is leaning on me to take anti-depressants. I don’t want to do that. I don’t believe that depression is some kind of brain disorder that needs medication!

I’m sure that I’m depressed because of what has been going on in my life, and that’s what I need to be focusing on. I want to cure it on my own, and not have to depend on pills to make me feel better. Am I making sense?

I’d appreciate any feedback that you might have for me.

First of all, I don’t know any mental health professionals who believe depression is a “brain disorder.” It’s far more complicated than that. Virtually all of us these days are proponents of what’s called the “biopsychosocial model” of the illness, which sees it as the result of multiple factors— biochemical, psychological, environmental, social, etc. The mix of factors varies from person to person, meaning that each case requires an individually tailored treatment response. It may be true that some people are more biologically susceptible to depression than others, but that’s a long way from the claim that depression is completely the result of physical causes. We know, for one thing, that the incidence of depression in the United States has increased tenfold since the end of World War II. Presumably, our biology hasn’t changed in that time, which strongly sug-

gests that the psychological and social changes that have occurred in American life are responsible for the increase.

you don’t get all your points unless you can believe that your improved well-being is due to actions you personally take, rather than medication?

But while I agree that your depression is probably the result of circumstances in your life and not a brain malfunction, that doesn’t mean that antidepressant medications can’t still be useful in treating it. In fact, the standard of care for moderate to severe depression is generally considered to be a combination of anti-depressants and psychotherapy. Depression typically includes apathy and feelings of hopelessness that can leave people feeling too immobilized to participate in therapy or to make important changes in their lives. In many cases, a course of anti-depressants can pull people out of the “black hole” enough to enable them to get moving again, and to begin to take actions to improve their life circumstances.

I wonder what you would think if someone told you, “I want to manage my diabetes on my own. I don’t want to have to take insulin to make me feel better.” Many people who will not hesitate to take medication for other illnesses feel that doing the same for emotional illnesses is somehow shameful.

The f inal reason you gave for not wanting to use anti-depressants is one I’ve heard often over the years, but have never understood. You say you want to cure your depression through your own efforts, and not have to “depend on pills” to make you feel better.

I am sorry if this sounds sarcastic, but it sounds almost as if you see taking medication for depression as a form of cheating. What if they work? Is it that

To take appropriate treatment for depression doesn’t make you a defective human being. Depression is a serious, sometimes debilitating, illness. I think the wisest thing to do in deciding how to respond to it is to think of it as a practical problem, a question of what works, and to leave your pride and ego out of it. Keep an open mind and be willing to do whatever works to relieve your suffering. Anti-depressants aren’t a panacea; they don’t work for everyone. They should not be the only response to depression, but they definitely have their place in our treatment arsenal.

Tom Moon is a psychotherapist in San Francisco. For more information, please visit his website http://tommoon.net/

In Memoriam Edith Carney Edith Carney, the mother of Patrick Carney, who is a founder of the Pink Triangle display constructed on Twin Peaks during Pride, died at age 95 after suffering from interstitial lung disease. Always supportive of Patrick, his husband Hossein and her other children and relatives, Edith traveled to San Francisco nearly every year to help with the Pink Triangle. Her positive energy could be felt whenever the display went up. The symbol was used by the Nazis in concentration camps to identify and shame homosexual prisoners, but it has since been embraced by the LGBTQ community as a symbol of pride and defiance, while serving as a reminder of the Holocaust.

Edith was a strong, loving and vibrant force within her family. She also had a successful career, having begun work in real estate at a young age. She was most proud of her family, however, and the Dodgers! As a baseball fan from Southern California, she enjoyed cheering on her team. Many of us at the San Francisco Bay Times were rooting for the Dodgers in the World Series this year, thinking of generous and kind-hearted Edith Carney.

Alana Devich Cyril Cancer claimed the life of filmmaker Devich Cyril, who in 2016 wrote at CrowdRise: “I recently received the devastating news that I have stage 4 metastatic gastro-esophageal cancer, despite being a healthy 40-year-old woman with no risk factors.” As a creative spirit, she turned her shock and struggle into the poignant film My Life, Interrupted, which was first shown this past June at the Queer Women of Color Film Festival. Her spouse Malkia Devich Cyril is the founder of the Center for Media Justice. The couple devoted much of their time together toward working for civil rights for all. https://vimeo.com/277714367

Erika Luckett Singer, musician and composer Erika Luckett of our local LGBT community recently lost her battle with cancer. From her performance at the 20th Anniversary of the Nobel Peace Prize Forum to being honored as “One of the 100 Most Outstanding Women of the Year” (along with Oprah, Madonna and Queen Elizabeth) by both The Jewish Post and Modern Woman Today Magazine, Luckett showed how music can transform and unite people across the globe. http://www.erikaluckett.com/home/

Paul Miller Miller, who volunteered for numerous LGBT causes, recently died of cancer. A 30-year survivor of HIV, he often worked to help others with HIV/AIDS. Miller was further known for his love of gardening and nature. A beautiful memorial reflecting many aspects of his life in San Francisco, from friends and family to his fondness of hummingbirds, was created by his sisters and placed at “Hibernia Beach,” the corner of Castro and 18th Streets. A Celebration of his Life will be held at 1 pm on Saturday, November 3, at the National AIDS Memorial Grove in Golden Gate Park.

Dr. Jerry Rabinowitz One of the 11 victims of the shooting at Pittsburgh’s Tree of Life synagogue, Dr. Rabinowitz was known for the dignity and respect that he gave to all of his patients, and particularly those with HIV/AIDS. “Before there was effective treatment for fighting HIV itself, he was known in the community for keeping us alive the longest,” Michael Kerr, a former patient, posted on Facebook. “Thank you, Dr. Rabinowitiz, for having always been there during the most terrifying and frightening time of my life.” The 66-year-old physician initially was not in the basement of the synagogue when the shooting occurred, but his nephew Avishai Ostrin speculated to CNN that “when he heard shots he ran outside to try and see if anyone was hurt and needed a doctor. That was Uncle Jerry. That’s just what he did.”

Ntozake Shange Playwright Shange wrote numerous acclaimed works, including the choreopoem for colored girls who have considered suicide/when the rainbow is enuf. The powerful theater piece, which debuted in 1976, tells the stories of seven women who have suffered oppression in a racist and sexist society. Shange said that it was inspired by events in her own life. It earned her Obie and Tony Awards, and is still performed, resonating with audiences worldwide. Born Paulette Williams in 1948, Shange studied at Barnard College and the University of Southern California, where she changed her name to the Zulu Ntozaka, meaning “she who comes with her own things” and Shange “who walks like a lion.” See this Poetry Foundation biography, which lists many of her works: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poets/ntozake-shange

Billye Talmadge Born in 1929, Talmadge was a founder in 1955 of the groundbreaking Daughters of Bilitis, which was the first lesbian civil and political rights organization in the U.S. She, along with Del Martin, Phyllis Lyon, Helen Sandoz and other brave individuals, were at the forefront of queer liberation for decades. A teacher, Talmadge earned two doctorates in education and won the Golden Apple award for her work helping disabled children. See Herstories to learn more about her remarkable life: http://herstories.prattinfoschool.nyc/omeka/collections/show/73 12

SA N FRANCISCO BAY T I ME S

NOVE MB E R 1 , 2 0 1 8

GLBT Fortnight in Review

By Ann Rostow It’s Bad, But Not That Bad, I Guess Let’s all take a breath before taking to the streets over last spring’s draft memo on sex discrimination from the Department of Health and Human Services. Discovered by The New York Times, it was reported in an October 21 article under the headline: “Transgender Could Be Defined Out of Existence By Trump.”

That’s just wrong. Much as I love the succeeding New York Times, that’s not just wrong, but that’s ridiculous, and, I might add, needlessly provocative.

As loyal readers might recall from our frequent colloquies on the subject of sex discrimination in federal law, there has long been a hard push from our side to convince courts that existing laws against sex discrimination (think Title VII on the job or Title IX in school) should also inherently cover transgender and gay bias.

Many courts agree with us.

Obama agreed with us, as did all of his cabinet offices and as did all of the government agencies that for up to eight years were staffed with likeminded allies.

Trump disagreed. Or actually, since the President does not have opinions on complex issues, Trump’s conservative minions disagreed, and they have busily tried to reverse or rewrite the Obama-era policies. This latest memo is not the first of its kind. The Justice Department issued a similarly retrograde set of policies last year, including a definition of sex discrimination that does not cover anyone in our acronym. It’s not fake news. It’s old news. No longer does the Education Department’s office of civil rights go to bat for trans kids in schools. No longer does the Justice Department write legal briefs on our behalf. Instead, these groups and the firebrands that pop through the whack-a-mole board that is this administration, have gone in the other direction. In fact, I’m a little surprised that the damage they have inf licted to date has not been worse.

This memo seemed triggered by antigay provocateur Roger Severino, who once accused the Obama administration of attempting “to impose a new definition of what it means to be a man or a woman on the entire nation.” Severino is the head of the Off ice of Civil Rights at the Department of Health and Human Services, which means we rely on this bozo to defend us against discrimination in health care, including, let’s say, coverage of medical care related to gender transition.

Just last month, you may recall, a federal judge ordered the state of Wisconsin to cover medical bills for two transgender public employees at the University of Wisconsin. U.S. District Court Judge William Conley based his decision on the Equal Protection Clause of the Constitution, as well as Title VII workplace protections and civil rights language in the Affordable Care Act. I’m not sure what Severino and company can do about the Constitution, but they can certainly argue that neither Title VII nor Obamacare should cover transgender claims, since these do not fit the def inition of “sex discrimination,” nor were they articulated when these laws were debated in Congress. Judge Conley and many others would not agree, but I’m sure that more conservative judges might, including the dozens of federal judges approved by Trump and McConnell over the last year or so (53 district court judges, 29 appellate court judges and two High Court justices).

Keep in mind, however, that just as Obama’s policies weren’t enough on their own to cement our civil rights victories into permanent law, nor is

the rhetoric of the Trumpians enough to “define us out of existence” or even out of federal protections. Remember, we are not technically covered by federal law in the first place. We are trying to win that coverage through the courts, ergo the elevation of Brett Kavanaugh and the aforementioned hard right jurists to the federal bench is far more dangerous to our civil rights than an isolated draft from some nasty piece of work at the Department of Health and Human Services.

I don’t mean to minimize the dark shadows cast by these evil bureaucrats. This memo will be felt even more sharply if it is formalized and then more so if joined by other cabinet departments. It’s just that we have so much to worry about, first as Americans and second as GLBTers, that we don’t have much time for traveling the side roads.

Life in These United States Are you a patriot?

I rolled my eyes at that idea through most of my 20s, and later developed a far more nuanced view. But I still recoiled at the whole “America, love it or leave it” mentality.

Then I lived in France for seven years, and after a while, found myself bragging about the U.S.: the foundational law that protects you from being asked for papers out of the blue by men in uniform; the bipartisanship that leads vanquished political foes to congratulate the victors on election night; the lack of overt racism and the disapproval of the same that means people do not tolerate racist jokes and statements; and the respect for women. (Don’t laugh. This all seemed true at the time.)

France had food, wine and beauty.

But you could be stopped for no reason. Its politics were insane. Black people were looked upon as misplaced immigrants rather than as fellow French citizens. Women were demeaned.

I came to believe as well in American exceptionalism, the notion that our nation stood out from others through its identity as an idea rather than a place. Yes, we had faults, but we struggled to fix them and heal. And at our core, we were united.

Now, I find myself as discouraged as I have ever been as a citizen. The concept of an American “nationalist,” personified by Trump and glommed onto by people on the right (including the insufferable David Brooks), is antithetical to the country I believe in; the country that is an idea, not a place. Not a trading post. Not a gated community, but a welcoming community of ideals and principles. Oddly, I think I’m more patriotic than ever, now that it might be too late.

Earlier, I made a note to myself to make fun of the “ScottiVest,” a heavily advertised garment that allows you to walk down the street with a sizable collection of electronic devices in different compartments. In typical infomercial style, the commercial shows us the trials and tribulations of a regularly dressed person, who deals with a chaotic scramble as she tries to juggle her phone and tablet and whatever else she decided to stuff in her tiny useless jacket pockets.

It’s like the untucked shirt guy. Who thinks of this stuff? I guess they are all multimillionaires by now, so we shouldn’t be laughing. But you know what? We’re not laughing. Because the gun-toting and bomb-making nut cases who have crawled out from under their rocks have taken laughter out of the picture for us. I almost crossed off ScottiVest from my list of topics for this reason, when I thought: “No. I will not let our national descent into unchecked hatred stop me (continued on page 28) S AN F R ANC IS C O BAY T IM ES

NOVEM BER 1, 2018

13

SFGMC 40th Birthday Tribute Concert & Luncheon Photos by J.P. Lor

BAY TIMES S

A

N

F

R

A

N

C

I

S

C

O

LGBTQ News & Calendar for the Bay Area

CELEBRATING FOUR DECADES (1978–2018)

A sold out crowd joined Dr. Tim Seelig and the San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus on Friday evening, October 26, at St. Ignatius Church for Tribute, the Chorus’ 40th Birthday Concert. The concert was dedicated to the memory of all Chorus members lost to HIV/AIDs during the past four decades and to the memory of Dr. Seelig’s daughter Corianna Kai Seelig-Gustafson.

Featured guest artist was soprano Ellie Dehn, who joined the Chorus in the performance of “When We No Longer Touch,” a requiem. The concert closed with the song “Never Ever,” from the album Naked Man by composer Robert Seeley, who was on hand attending the concert along with SFGMC’s former artistic director Dr. Stan Hill. https://www.sfgmc.org

14

SA N FRANCISCO BAY T I ME S

NOVE MB E R 1 , 2 0 1 8

Baptist Princess to Activist Mom moved off to Dallas. She didn’t feel comfortable at the church any more.

Her years as a Baptist princess were at an end. Nothing would ever be the same.

TLC: Tears, Laughs and Conversation Dr. Tim Seelig How does a bouncing baby born into Baptist royalty in the heart of Texas end up as a militantly liberal mom marching in gay pride parades in San Francisco—with her daughter? It’s quite a journey. It is the tale of Corianna Kai Seelig-Gustafson, a story that ended suddenly two weeks ago.

The early years were idyllic for young Corianna. Even though she moved a lot, including one jaunt to Switzerland where her dad was an opera singer, there was always a large, loving, supportive base of family and friends.

Once back in Houston, her family was in the limelight at a huge Baptist church where everyone knew her because her dad worked there. She was the perfect daughter of the perfect family. A 1980s Norman Rockwell.

Then came her ninth year. Her Dad came out. Everything changed. All she knew was that they had to move from their home to an apartment— without dad. The massive support structure melted away. Corianna and her brother Judson were left to figure this out. So, they stuck together. Dad

Then came the age of ten. Dad started conducting a gay chorus in Dallas. It was odd at first, but then she realized it wasn’t that much different than the First Baptist Church choir, except without women. She suddenly had hundreds of Guncles (gay uncles, for those reading this who are not familiar with the term). She lived and breathed gay music and LGBTQ issues, along with her dad, for the next 31 years!

During her awkward teen years, she felt unattractive, as many do. But around the gays, she was their princess. They did her hair, took her shopping, designed her prom dress, and, most importantly, always told her that she was beautiful on the inside as well as the outside. She loved them so much! And they her.

Humor was her greatest gift and weapon against those who would try to offend her, put her in a box or talk smack about her logical family. And boy, was she funny. Many people thought her Dad was funny, but most said she was like him, but without the filters. Next to her wit, her greatest gift was empathy. She would cry seeing a homeless person, knowing she couldn’t help them all, but emptying her pockets anyway. Her heart broke at the sight of a stray or wounded animal (many finding their way home with her).

them. They dragged her all over town to parks, festivals, ferries and beaches. She marched in most every gay pride parade. Every single Easter was marked by a picture with the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence at the Easter Egg Hunt. Those pictures caused quite a stir when sent back home.

Clara marched in the women’s rights marches. All of this because Corianna believed so strongly in raising a strong, independent, bright woman, unconsciously molding her in her own image. Corianna was plagued with health issues throughout her entire adult life. Every day she dealt with chronic pain from a series of back injuries and surgeries. It never dimmed her bright smile or infectious charm.

Corianna and brother Judson

Being a teenager is rough on any young one. Her teen years were especially challenging. It was the early 1990s and her beloved Guncles were dying. The first was Bob, who did her hair every month on her visits to Dallas. Then the one she loved the most, John, who had become her confidant.

It was during that time that a seed was planted—she would spend her life helping others.

She decided to go to nursing school.

During her hospital rotations, two of her passions came together when she hit the pediatric oncology department: children and terminal illness. For almost 20 years, she healed, held and made children laugh in their most dire moments. Her hospital colleagues marveled at her ability to control every situation, make everyone laugh and make them feel that things would be OK.

Corianna and Clara during Pride

Corianna with brother Judson and Dad

Nursing had its downside. In addition to the stress inherent in her position, Corianna just couldn’t stop lifting children—and sometimes their parents. This resulted in years of pain and ultimately spinal fusion.

Corianna and Dad posing in black Corianna and Dad at Pride

Then there was Clay, the man of her dreams—not “tall, dark and handsome,” but “tall, ginger and handsome.” And he was a pediatric oncology physician. (Who doesn’t have that dream?) They clicked, got married ten years ago and began their lives together. And, the most exciting part of that? They moved to San Francisco, the city of their other dream! They didn’t move to San Francisco just for the beauty or the clam chowder. No, it fit their radically liberal view of life that was always at odds with Dallas cultural norms (understatement).

Corianna was also gifted at manipulation and extortion. Her Dad was HIV+ but had not shared that with many people. Corianna decided to do the AIDS/LifeCycle, but there was a catch. She wanted to do it in honor of her Dad who was HIV+. Dad pretty much did whatever Corianna wanted, so he came out about his status.

She raised $5,195 and rode the 7-day trek from San Francisco to L.A.! Clay kept the 18-month-old Clara so Mom could ride. Forcing her Dad to come out about his HIV status was one of her great moments.

Then came Clara. Corianna took to motherhood as if she had been preparing for that her whole life. Well, she had. She had mothered everyone she ever met. She was ready and threw herself into mothering. Lucky Clara. They began right off instilling their shared openness with Clara.

And, by that point, Corianna’s Dad was doing his thing—conducting the gays—in San Francisco! Talk about Guncles! And they adopted her from the very first concert she attended 5 months after Clara was born. Corianna and Clay took Clara to almost every SFGMC concert for the next seven years.

Instilling the sensibility of San Francisco into Clara was the greatest joy to

Corianna had big plans for Clara: to make her the happiest child on the planet. These efforts were aided by her Dad and Granddad, Bop Bop, and his husband, Dan. Ballet lessons. Piano lessons. Martial Arts. Horse-riding camp. SPCA camp. But most of all, they gave her the gift of their time and their love tromping around this beautiful city. While they lived in the Inner Sunset, Golden Gate Park was her personal playground. She thought everyone had such a yard. Corianna also gave Clara the gift of passion for animals: dogs, cats, a bird, fish, and briefly, a bearded dragon. The world was her magical menagerie—thanks to her Mom and Dad. She was now the princess.

The story came to an end on the night of October 18. Corianna died. Unexpectedly. No cause of death yet. Clara, Clay, Bop Bop and Dan were all in the house as the paramedics did their best to save her—bless them. It was not to be. A mom, a wife, a brother, a daughter and the most amazing friend anyone could have simply left. The healer.

Nothing will ever be the same.

It is now up to us to carry on her legacy of love, healing, activism, outrageous humor and, most of all, supporting a little seven-year-old girl whose life has changed forever. We’ll do our best so that the story named Corianna lives on.

P.S. This story was told by Corianna’s dad. It is one-sided, seen only through his prism. Others have their own version. If you are reading this, go back just one month to the article Corianna wrote in her own words.

It shows the courageous, strong, activist, “I can change a small corner of the world with my story” girl. The world is simply less now. There is no good explanation. Simply less.

Corianna and Clara glamping

Corianna, Clara and The Sisters

Dr. Tim Seelig is the Artistic Director of the San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus.

S AN F R ANC IS C O BAY T IM ES

NOVEM BER 1, 2018

15

BAY TIMES S

2018 HRC-SF Annual Gala & Auction - Turn Out Held on Saturday, October 20, at the San Francisco Hyatt Regency Embarcadero, the annual HRC-SF Gala, with “Turn Out” as the designated theme for 2018, attracted a sellout crowd. Co-chairs Jim Murphy and Lisa Allen, along with Subcommittee leaders Frank Woo and Todd Hedgpeth, welcomed attendees, volunteers, honorees and VIP guests, including Senator Dianne Feinstein, to the reception, silent auction, dinner and after party. HRC president Chad Griffin presented the keynote remarks.

N

F

R

A

N

C

I

S

C

O

LGBTQ News & Calendar for the Bay Area

CELEBRATING FOUR DECADES (1978–2018)

Williams-Sonoma’s CEO Laura Alber was on hand to accept the Corporate Equity Award on behalf of Williams-Sonoma, Inc; and stand-up comedy artist and actor Nico Santos (of Superstore, Crazy Rich Asians and more) received HRC’s Visibility Award.

Congratulations to HRC-SF on another successful event. We know that the organizers are not resting on their laurels, though. HRC has been working hard this election season. See HRC’s Equality Voter Action Center ( https://bit.ly/2Jtafcy ) for details and how you can help.

16

SA N FRANCISCO BAY T I ME S

NOVE MB E R 1 , 2 0 1 8

PHOTO BY RINK

PHOTO COURTESY OF HRC-SF PHOTO COURTESY OF HRC-SF

PHOTO COURTESY OF HRC-SF

PHOTO COURTESY OF HRC-SF

PHOTO COURTESY OF HRC-SF

PHOTO COURTESY OF HRC-SF

PHOTO COURTESY OF HRC-SF

PHOTO COURTESY OF HRC-SF

PHOTO BY RINK

PHOTO BY RINK

PHOTO BY RINK

PHOTO COURTESY OF HRC-SF

PHOTO BY RINK

PHOTO BY RINK

PHOTO BY RINK

PHOTO BY RINK

PHOTO COURTESY OF HRC-SF

Attendees enjoyed live performances by transgender singer/songwriter Shea Diamond and lesbian comedienne Dana Goldberg, along with music presented by DJ Christopher B.

A

O

Donna’s Chronicles

By Donna Sachet

nce again, the Mr. International Freedom contest brought out a stellar group of contestants, a dazzling show and a boisterous audience!

This third annual sold-out contest, benefiting the LGBT Asylum Project, was held at Oasis for the first time and we again co-emceed with the handsome Cip Cipriano. Both previous winners Mahdi Al and Liam Ocean attended. After great musical entertainment by Igor Chudak, Mitch Galli and the Homophonics, and a spirited and competitive night, Mitch Aaron Ballin was announced as Mr. International Freedom 2018! Okan Segun and Adam Sandel assembled a fantastic group of volunteers to pull off this amazing event and we heartily support their efforts. Don’t miss next year’s contest!

Talk about success! OurTownSF and Paul Margolis are to be congratulated on Expo 2018, held at the Eureka Valley Recreational Center and attended by thousands of curious citizens. Over 150 nonprofit organizations, service providers and other groups were on hand to exchange information and to stimulate interest in the many ways we have to get involved in San Francisco. Along with Race Bannon, one of our personal heroes for his tireless work within the LGBT Community, we gladly emceed a portion of the entertainment, including performers BeBe Sweetbriar, Leanne Borghesi and a lively member of the Rice Rockettes. We were also pleased to acknowledge Senator Mark Leno, Supervisor Rafael Mandelman, Pink Triangle organizer Patrick Carney and everyone’s favorite audience member and supporter Linda Lee, before drawing the winning tickets for a tantalizing assortment of raffle prizes.

The Hyatt Embarcadero became the new home for the annual HRC Gala due to hotel labor disputes that continue as we write this. Despite hours of lastminute machinations, this was again one of the best attended and politically charged events of the season. Gala Co-Chairs Jim Murphy and Lisa Allen greeted guests as they arrived in the sprawling modern lobby for cocktails and silent auction, as well-wishers crowded around number one celebrity of the night Senator Dianne Feinstein. On the steady arm of first-time escort Brent Marek, we exchanged pleasantries with Reigning Emperor Leandro Gonzales, Brian North, Jody Cole, Jerry Mai, Kevin Lucas and others, before joining our host Frank Woo, table guests Mario Diaz, Neil Sims & Timothy Lucas, and nearby Mark Rhoades, Linda Scaparotti, Rebecca Prozan and Supervisor Rafael Mandelman. Laura Alber, CEO of Williams Sonoma, accepted the Corporate Equality Award, hilarious Nico Santos took home the Visibility Award, film maker Garrard Conley shared a preview of the amazing film based on his book Boy Erased, and dynamic Shea Diamond got the audience moving with her unapologetic energy and musical talent. Live auctions can sometimes drag an evening into apoplexy, but not with comedian Dana Goldberg on the microphone! The substantive highlight of the speeches was an inspirational address by HRC President Chad Griffin, emphasizing the urgency and importance of personal involvement in our political process at all levels. Long known as one of the best events for husband-hunting, the HRC Gala did not disappoint in that regard, but more importantly, sounded a clear call to many of us, weary of divisive rhetoric and shocking set-backs in our civil rights struggle, to turn out for the mid-term elections and to continue our rightful efforts. At the risk of invading the territory of our much more qualified fellow columnists, by the time you read this, we hope the political landscape will look quite different. The evening ended with finely dressed attendees displaying their dancing moves to the beats of stellar DJ christopher b.

Last Wednesday, John Newmeyer opened his lovely Victorian home for longstanding supporters of the Richmond/Ermet Aid Foundation as they gave proceeds from their Help Is on the Way event to happy beneficiaries AIDS Legal Referral Panel and Meals on Wheels. Among the crowd sipping wines from the Newmeyer grapes were Richard Sablatura, Michael Montoya, Dan Joranstaad & Bob Hermann, Andrew Leas, Jeffrey Doney, Tom Ray, Lawrence Wong and LaTonya Smothers-Lawson. Don’t miss REAF’s next big event Help Is on the Way for the Holidays XVII, Monday, December 10, at Marines’ Memorial Theatre, with stars like Maureen McGovern, Debby Holiday, Shawn Ryan, Paula West, Sharon McNight and Constantine Maroulis.

Then it was on to a weekend of festivities celebrating 40 years of the San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus! Tribute, the concert at St. Ignatius on Friday, surrounded the audience with poignant music in memory of the many chorus members and supporters lost during the AIDS epidemic and over the past four decades. For the first time, this concert was streamed live over the internet. Executive Director Chris Verdugo introduced the program, emphasizing the special circumstances of this chorus returning to a Catholic Church where such a warm reception was not always the case. Remarkably, Artistic Director Tim Seelig, despite suffering a personal loss very recently, was proudly at the helm, directing the chorus with style and power and engaging those assembled with his signature grace and humor. In addition to moving solos from chorus members, soprano soloist Ellie Dehn added powerful elements to When We No Longer Touch, by Kris Anthony and Peter McWilliams. Also on hand, to our delight, were previous Artistic Director Stan Hill and composer Robert Seeley, both good friends and significant contributors to the legacy of SFGMC. It was impossible not to get lost in reverie as the church filled with such beautiful music and personal reflections.

As the concert ended with “Never Ever” from Naked Man by Seeley, we were reminded of the incredible and irreplaceable value of each moment of our lives with those whom we love.

The next morning found many of the same people gathered in the AIDS Memorial Grove of Golden Gate Park for the unveiling of the Artists’ Portal, the first memorial spot dedicated specifically to chorus members and others from the artistic community lost to AIDS. As a light mist shrouded the grove, the SF Lesbian & Gay Freedom Band joined the SFGMC in music. Beautiful words were spoken, and a lone bell rang out in memory and appreciation, moments solemnly, but gladly, shared with Gary Virginia, Suzan Revah and other friends.

Immediately following that event, the SFGMC and throngs of supporters headed back into Union Square and the Sir Francis Drake Hotel for a splashy luncheon in the Empire Ballroom. The mood was ebullient as Curt Branon of Beach Blanket Babylon, occasionally vocally channeling Dame Edna, Carol Channing and others, expertly emceed the proceedings, including slide shows

“It’s not easy being me ... but it’s a whole lot of fun!”

-Donna Sachet

Calendar a/la Sachet Every Sunday Sunday’s a Drag 10:30 am Brunch, 11:30 am Show The Starlight Room Sir Francis Drake Hotel $75 inclusive https://bit.ly/2OB4Gur Saturday, November 3 The Calendar Queens Are Back 4–7 pm Midnight Sun Free https://shanti.org Sunday, November 4 Royal Grand Ducal Council Masquerade Ball 5–9 pm Filoli Historical House and Garden, Woodside $35–$350 https://bit.ly/2qj10mm Tuesday, November 6 Election Day https://usa.gov/election-day Saturday, November 10 Power of the Purse II 4–7 pm Beaux Benefiting Imperial Court/ Breast Cancer Emergency Fund Free https://imperialcouncilsf.org Thursday, November 15 Evening of Hope: Building a Future Within Reach 6–9 pm Gallery 308, Fort Mason Center $175 https://projectinform.org Wednesday, November 21 4th Annual Empress’ Bake Sale 6–8 pm Lookout Free https://imperialcouncilsf.org Monday–Wednesday, November 26–28 Donna Sachet’s Songs of the Season Hosted by Brian Kent 8 pm Feinstein’s at the Nikko $60–$100 https://ticketf.ly/2AzAjzG

(continued on page 28) PHOTO BY SHAWN NORTHCUTT PHOTO BY SHAWN

S AN F R ANC IS C O BAY T IM ES

NOVEM BER 1, 2018

17

Johann Joachim Winckelmann and the Glory That Was Greece

Photos courtesy of Dr. Bill Lipsky

Faces from Our LGBT Past Dr. Bill Lipsky 250 years ago, the great man’s murder shocked cultured Europe. Traveling incognito by coach from Vienna, where he was received by the Empress Maria Theresa, he stopped in Trieste on June 1, 1768, to await a ship for Rome. There he met Francesco Arcangeli, an unemployed cook and small-time thief, who visited him in his room daily for the next week.

On June 8, his newly made acquaintance, almost 20 years his junior, garroted and stabbed him to death.

So ended the life of Johann Joachim Winckelmann (1717–1768), “t he prophet and founding hero of modern archaeology” and the father of art history. Winckelmann was no Alan Quartermain in search of King Solomon’s Mines, however. He never ventured into a single jungle or turned a spade of earth to dig into the past. His was an Enlightenment mind hoping to find patterns, not pottery shards, to illuminate humanity’s past.

Born the son of a shoemaker and a weaver’s daughter, Winckelmann overcame immense poverty to gain his great success. Encouraged by his parents and mentored by a local schoolmaster, he eventually was able to pursue a university education. In 1742 he became the private tutor of Friedrich Wilhelm Peter Lamprecht (1728–1797), son of an official in Magdenburg.

Zeus as John the Baptist by Anton Menges

was more magnificent than the Apollo Belvedere, “an unmatched portrayal of the perfect male figure.”

Winckelmann may simply have cherished the young men around him without embracing them, but no less an authority on lovemaking than Giacomo Casanova discovered the scholar in 1760 putting his theories into practice. “Early that morning I go without knocking into a small room in which [Winckelmann] was usually alone,” he wrote in his Memoirs, “and I see him hastily leave a boy, at the same time quickly setting his breeches to rights ... . The Bathyllus [a young man loved by the Greek poet Anacreon], who was indeed very pretty, leaves.”

Although such intimacy did not bother Casanova, Winckelmann decided to explain his behavior. “The ancients,” he said, “were almost all buggers without concealing it ... . Unable to convict myself of [their] stupidity merely by cold theory, I decided to seek the light of practice.” Casanova was not convinced these efforts were entirely motivated by research.

The student was his first great love.

Winckelmann was usually open about W hen W i nc kelhis sexual desires. “I can be satisfied mann became the with my life. I have no worries other assistant headmasthan my work,” he wrote to one friend, ter at a school in See“and have even found someone with whom I hausen in 1743, Lamprecan speak of love: a good-looking, blond young cht went with him. For Roman,” adding that “compared to Rome, all the next three years they A coin issued by shared a single room, al- Germany commemorat- else is nothing.” He also wrote about his liait hou g h W i nc ke l m a n n ing Winckelmann’s 250th sons with Franz Stauder, a pupil of the paintanniversary er Anton Raphael Mengs, whose John the Bapclaimed that he slept only tist typified Neoclassicism; and the Florentine in an armchair. After he returned to his home a few years later, Nicoló Castellani, among others.

Winckelmann wrote to him, “I will The final great—apparently unrequited—love of Wincklove you as long as I live.” elmann’s life seems to have been his beloved Friedrich Winckelmann became librarian for Rheinhold von Berg, who embodied the scholar’s ideals Count Heinrich von Bünau (1697– of beauty: young, handsome, well read, sensitive to male 1762) near Dresden in 1748. After sev- beauty and mentored by a man of learning. “I have fallen years of research, he published Re- en in love, and how! [W]ith a young Livonian,” he wrote flections on the Imitation of Greek Works in to a friend in 1762, when he was 45 and Berg was 26. He Painting and Sculpture. The study, which dedicated one of his most famous essays to the young noacclaimed Hellenic art as humanity’s bleman. highest accomplishment because of its “noble simplicity” and “calm gran- When Berg left Rome, Winckelmann was heartbroken. deur,” made him famous throughout “My beloved and very beautiful friend,” he wrote to the Europe and helped to establish the young man, “no name by which I might call you would be Greek Revival movement in the dec- sweet enough or sufficient for my love ... . I love you more orative and visual arts, theatre, mu- than any living thing, and neither time nor chance nor sic and architecture. The next year he age can ever lessen this love.” Berg eventually returned to moved to Rome, where he remained Riga, married and fathered five children. for the rest of his life.

Why Winckelmann was attracted to the uncouth, untuCiting ancient aesthetics, but filtered tored Arcangeli, Berg’s opposite in every way, is an unthrough his love of men, Winckel- answered question. Perhaps they spent time together bemann made it possible for viewers cause the older man responded to the younger man’s to admire masculine beauty for it- flattery. Possibly they were attempting merely to brightself, not only for the artist’s techni- en some otherwise dull afternoons. Perhaps they were cal achievement. “Those who are ob- merely affirming the hoary adage that “buggers can’t be servant of beauty only in women,” he choosers,” this time with tragic results. wrote, “and are moved little or not at all by the beauty of men, seldom have Bill Lipsky, Ph.D., author of “Gay and Lesbian San an impartial, vital, inborn instinct for Francisco” (2006), is a member of the Rainbow Honor beauty in art.” For him, no artwork Walk board of directors.

18

SA N FRANCISCO BAY T I ME S

Portrait of Johann Joachim Winckelmann by Maria Anna Angelika Lauffmann, one of the few women painters of the 18th century

NOVE MB E R 1 , 2 0 1 8

Comparison of the Parthenon and the U.S. Supreme Court building The Apollo Belvedere

Weddings, Occasions & Relationships How to Introduce Your Older/Younger Partner to Your Family

The Lesbian Love Doctor

er. Your family’s concerns might come from a place of love, but it is important to let them know when they are crossing a line. If your family is particularly resistant leading up to the meeting, let them know that they do not have to love your girlfriend, but they ought to respect her as someone you care about. Similarly, your girlfriend doesn’t have to love your family, but she should understand your desire to maintain a connection to your family.

Present a unified front.

Dr. Frankie Bashan Large age differences in lesbian relationships are more common than you think. According to a 2013 survey, LGBT individuals are more likely than straights to be attracted to people ten years older than them. Theories about how these “May–December” relationships are more prevalent in queer couples are as different as the couples themselves. While I’ve written about how to keep an open mind when dating outside your age-range, I’ve never touched on one very important subject: family.

Introducing your girlfriend to your family often requires some mental finessing, even more so when some family members have discomfort with same-sex relationships. An age gap can be an added layer of stress, even if you’re lucky enough to have a supportive family. Here are my best pieces of advice for introducing your much younger or older signif icant other to your family: Prep both parties first.

Just like you may have learned to be open to dating people in your significant other’s age range, your family members will have to go through a similar process. Be mentally prepared to discuss their questions, including potentially intrusive questions about your relationship dynamic, such as your partner’s “true intentions.” As for your girlfriend, tell her about your family dynamic and discuss how both of you can put your best foot forward with the first meeting.

Emphasize respect.

When you get to the heart of it, this meeting is about introducing people you care deeply about to each oth-

It’s natural for you and your girlfriend to be nervous leading up to the meeting, which is why it’s important more than ever to have empathy for each other. Talk through your nerves with each other, and reaffirm to her that you are on her side. If you think it’s needed, plan for situations in case something goes awry.

Keep it neutral and casual.

In many ways, introducing your family to your significant other is just like a first date. You want to keep it low pressure, so have your family meet you and your girlfriend at a café or casual restaurant. Also, set a cap on the time by telling your family beforehand that you both have to go to another engagement afterward. This provides you with an escape plan if things get tense.

You don’t want the conversation to be forced by any means, but it’s important to keep the conversation away from potentially polarizing topics, such as politics. Tactfully guide the topics to things such as common interests that you know both your family and your girlfriend can talk about. If the conversation does escalate, gently call out the person who was crossing a line. If there is still tension in the conversation and both parties clash, use your judgment as to when the conversation needs to be cut short.

Check in afterwards.

Check in with your girlfriend and your family to see how they felt about the meeting, and talk about their impressions of each other.

Discuss the good moments and

take note of any issues or points of discomfort that you might have to address down the line. Reemphasize how much you are committed to your girlfriend, and if need be, reemphasize to your family that she deserves their respect.

Let time do its thing.

If introducing your girlfriend didn’t go as well as you hoped it would, don’t let that devastate you.

Allow your girlfriend and your family to get used to each other over the course of important milestones in your life and holiday gatherings. At the end of the day, these people in your life care about you and ultimately need to understand that the other is worthy of respect.

May–December relationships still carry a lot of judgement in today’s society, despite the fact that it’s quite common among same-sex couples. This shouldn’t, however, discourage you from introducing your girlfriend to your family if you want both parties to play a large part in your life. With the mentioned tips, you can set your loved ones up for a successful (or at least structured) first meeting.

Want more tips on lesbian dating, f lirting and finding a quality partner?

Check out my blog full of tips on healthy lesbian dating: https://bit.ly/2Q5KNw4 Dr. Frankie Bashan is a psychologist, matchmaker and relationship guru who has been using her psychology background combined with technology and personalized algorithms to successfully match lesbian couples nationwide. As the founder of Little Gay Book, the only exclusively lesbian/bi matchmaking agency in the U.S., she helps women in every state to find authentic, healthy, righteous, full-blown love and she knows what makes relationships tick. For more info: https://www.littlegaybook.com/

Pre-Halloween Parties

PHOTO BY RINK

PHOTO BY RINK

PHOTO BY RINK

PHOTO BY RINK

PHOTO BY JUAN DAVILA

The Castro was alive with costumed characters trying out their Halloween gear on Saturday evening, October 27. The “Glow in the Streets” block party crowd on Noe Street and the parade of pedestrians along Castro Street were filled with neighbors, friends and out of town guests enjoying the weekend prior to Halloween.

S AN F R ANC IS C O BAY T IM ES

NOVEM BER 1, 2018

19

Couples Who Can Play Together Stay Together: The Love Match “There were a few times after a bad loss when we wouldn’t talk for a couple of days,” Toby said. “It was easy to point fingers.

There were a lot of ‘what ifs.’” Toby, who is a consistent player, wanted Esliban to be more thoughtful of his shot selection.

Esliban, who is a more aggressive risk taker, wanted Toby to have a greater competitive instinct. When things go well between the two of them, everything is great. But when things start to go south, even the slightest disagreement can escalate.

Sports John Chen The title of this piece is not referring to swinging couples. Wait, come to think of it, Esliban Rodriguez and Toby Hays actually do swing together, but swing tennis racquets. Married with children (second child coming) and doubles partners, this tennis swinging couple has found success both on and off the court, winning tournaments and each other’s hearts.

How is this even possible?

Those of you who play tennis know, most likely through painful experience, never to have your love interest as your doubles partner unless you are into sadomasochism or planning a divorce. If you want to break up with someone and don’t know how best to do it, don’t ghost or text him. Just ask him to play doubles with you and let nature take its course.

On a beautiful day in San Francisco exactly 10 years ago, Toby Hays saw his superman in disguise playing doubles at the annual Cal Cup, which is a gay tennis competition between the three major California cities. A native of Peru, the handsome Esliban exuded confidence, power and commanded attention on the tennis court, mesmerizing Toby with every swing of his racquet.

Inching ever closer, Toby saw his opportunity to officially meet his superman. He knew Esliban had to walk a certain path to get to his next match.

Toby wanted to say hello, wish Esliban good luck and to make a strong impression. As he recently told me:

“I wanted to give him a high five, but since we hadn’t actually met, I thought it would be better to shake his hand.”

He was a bit nervous and unable to make up his mind. Toby described their first greeting as an awkward and uncertain “cross tapping of forearms, which was kind of pathetic.”

Tennis being the common factor, it made sense for Toby and Esliban to play doubles together. The benefits are obvious. They get to spend time together doing something they both love. They get to travel together to compete in the same tournaments, and they get to be on the same competitive schedule.

“In the beginning,” recalled Esliban with a chuckle, “we were super sweet and encouraging toward one another on the tennis court, saying things like, ‘It’s OK,’ or, ‘You tried your best.’ After the honeymoon, when our competitive nature took over, then things got real.” Toby added, “Esliban is the sweetest and the nicest man I’ve ever met, but put a racket in his hand, watch out!”

The Swiss Cheese Method

Easy Fitness Cinder Ernst You know how when you have a long to-do list, you can easily feel overwhelmed? You are not alone. We live in a fast paced, high input world, where the pressure to do and succeed is ever-present and often paralyzing.

Sometimes a particularly big task or project feels enormous and you just can’t get started. I feel that way about a few areas right now.

Fitness can fall into that mindset, too.

Do you have “going to the gym” on your list and doing it, but you feel exhausted? Or maybe you’re putting it on your list, not doing it and feeling like a failure. Maybe you know you 20

SA N FRANCISCO BAY T I ME S

I learned a simple approach to create ease around a project from my Law of Attraction teacher Abraham-Hicks. The approach is called The Swiss Cheese Method. It sounds fun already, doesn’t it? Take a piece of paper and draw different size circles resembling Swiss cheese holes.

Put an item that needs doing in the hole. Sometimes a related item can go in the same hole. Then, pick a hole and do the task. There is something about this method that changes the way you feel as you approach a particular goal.

I am creating a new website and was feeling overwhelmed, so I Swiss cheesed it. First, I felt accomplished when I did the Swiss cheese.

A week later, I did a task from one of the holes and colored in the NOVE MB E R 1 , 2 0 1 8

Anthony V, Fitness Mid-Market

“When I’m not swinging kettle bells, I have battle ropes in hand! This is one of the best upper body and core exercises that only involves a rope and some space. Simply swing the ropes, alternating with your left and right hand, keeping an even rhythm. Go for 30 seconds straight, break for 10 seconds, and then do 30 more seconds of swinging. After just a few sets of this, you’ll be sweating and your heart rate will be pumping.

Consider this as another way to do cardio!”

Although they don’t always agree on who could have done more or made less mistakes after a loss, the key for them to getting back on track is communication, compromise and understanding one another’s quirks. Esliban tells me that, despite the initial disappointment, anger and silence after losing, they always talk and work things through.

“At the end of the day [or a couple of days, in their case], I eventually come around and realize that it’s just a game, something we both enjoy doing and doing together.” This philosophy has helped Esliban and Toby through the highs and lows, and ebbs and f lows, of an ever-growing relationship. It has also helped them to win many prestigious tennis tournaments together, such as the U.S. Gay Open (USGO) and the U.S. Tennis Association (USTA) Same Sex Couple National Championships.

So, what have we learned today? If you want to break up with someone, playing doubles together might not be the answer. You may succeed for a day or two, but you may also end up building a long-lasting relationship based on love, communication, patience and winning.

Tore Kelly, Director of Creative & Social Media for Fitness SF, provides monthly tips that he has learned from professional trainers. For more information: http://www.fitnesssf.com

Take Me Home with You!

John Chen, a UCLA alumnus and an avid sports fan, has competed as well as coached tennis, volleyball, softball and football teams.

Popo

Fitness Program Hack should be moving more, but you just can’t figure it out. You might have rehab exercises that you know would be helpful if you could just do them.

There are so many scenarios where your fitness to do list feels heavy and un-doable.

Fitness SF Trainer Tip of the Month

hole. I then noticed that I was eager to do the next task.

Last week, I had an appointment with a pain management specialist (I’m awaiting hip replacement and I was going through a rough patch). We discovered 4 techniques that she suggests I do 3 times a day. The specialist advised that I write down my exercises in a fun way. She suggested colored pens or paper. I had a great idea!

I would Swiss cheese them, and so I did.

My list instantly felt easier and more approachable. I am successfully implementing my strategies.

Manageable Steps If getting to the gym feels too big, maybe your Swiss cheese holes could be: pack your gym bag, grab your water bottle, buy after work snacks so you’ll have enough energ y and br ing an apple for the ride home. Break down the task into doable steps that will facilitate your overall plan.

Are you interested in doing some home exercises? Your first Swiss cheese could be about researching what exer-

“I’m Popo the Pomeranian! I’m a little guy with a big personality. The best words to describe me are cuddly and loyal. I enjoy strutting my stuff on long walks, dining on delicious treats and meeting new friends! I’m looking for a quiet home and someone special who will give me lots of love and affection—and I’ve got tons to give in return.”

Popo is presented to San Francisco Bay Times readers by Dr. Jennifer Scarlett, the SF SPCA’s Co-President. Our thanks also go to Krista Maloney for helping to get the word out about lovable pets like Popo.

To see Popo and other pets seeking their forever homes, please visit: San Francisco SPCA Mission Campus 250 Florida Street San Francisco, CA 94103 415-522-3500

Dr. Jennifer Scarlett and Pup

Aside from major holidays, the adoption center is open Mon–Fri: 1–6 pm and Sat–Sun: 10 am–5 pm. Free parking is available for those wishing to adopt! For more info, please visit https://www.sfspca.org/adoptions cises you’d like to do. This could involve doing searches at Google and YouTube, asking family or friends for tips or looking into hiring a trainer or coach. Again, break it down.

When you have settled on a few exercises that will best meet your needs, Swiss Cheese them too! You’ll be surprised at how a little tweak to the list can make it feel easier and doable.

You might even like the tangible nature of pen to paper, which those of us of a certain age don’t experience as often as we used to.

Have some fun with this. The more ease that you have in any area of your

life, the more improved your sense of well-being will be.

Cinder Ernst, Medical Exercise Specialist and Life Coach Extraordinaire, helps reluctant exercisers get moving with safe, effective and fun programs. Her book, “Easy Fitness for the Reluctant Exerciser” ( https://bit.ly/2D6itYo ), is available in paperback and E-book. She specializes in fitness and rehab for plus-size clients, but her stress-free approach is suitable for all. Find out more at http://www.cinderernst.com

Moving from Dis-embodied Reality to In-the-Body Presence of cardinal sins, and running around free and exuberant is at best only tolerated when we’re little kids.

Device Neck/Text Neck

Jamie Leno Zimron Here are a few thoughts for your day: A major distinguishing characteristic of being a person on this planet is that you receive a physical body. It’s what sprouts and develops for 9 months in the womb, and it’s all your own! It is also the only thing that is with you from the moment you popped out on your birth-day, until the moment you’ll exit this earth-plane for where we don’t know. Not your mom, or dad, or dog or cat, or anyone or anything is with you every second of your life, everywhere you’ve ever been or are in your better and worse and inbetween moments, except for your body. In a very real sense, it is where you are located, and short of dying, there is literally no escaping the body that you find yourself alive in.

Why is all of this important? There are many reasons, starting with the fact that just because you are inexorably located inside your body doesn’t mean that you really live there. This can cause problems, since your body is arguably the most basic, intrinsic and constant part of your life. The majority of people live up in their heads, often getting lost in their thoughts or surfing around the internet. Another term for virtual reality could just as well be dis-embodied reality, and we know that people young and old are spending more and more of their time there.

Trauma and abuse cause many people to check out of their bodies, and at times dissociate, because it’s just too painful to feel or remain physically present. Then there are the JudeoChristian ethics so dominant in America. They often don’t help us to feel good about our bodies. Too often we’re taught that sensuality, sexuality and the natural joys of the senses are some kind

This was even before the days of electronic devices, which have sent us all further into living in our minds as we incessantly crank our heads to check our phones and tablets. Our electronic behavior is already so extreme that “Device Neck/Text Neck” is a new medical condition. Neck cricks, headaches, achy shoulders, poor posture, spinal strain, skeletal misalignment and irritability all are exacerbated, alienating us further from happy embodied living. Whenever I speak about this in my talks to groups, and share the story and image of the accountant, almost every head nods in recognition.

Modern media-driven culture doesn’t help either. It is brutally judgmental of physical appearance, and intensely focused on artif icial standards of narrowly-acceptable beauty.

Who doesn’t think they (and others) are too tall or too short, too fat or too thin, too big or too little? We get depressed and hate ourselves when signs of wrinkles, aging, disability or any of our many natural “imperfections” inevitably appear.

The body needs good nutrition, proper sleep, regular exercise and loving touch. Yet eating disorders, alcohol and drug addiction, sleep deprivation, lack of exercise, physical and sexual abuse, and even lack of basic food and shelter are all rampant.

Unfortunately, going to the gym and adorning our bodies do not necessarily mean that we are on good terms with, and nurturing, our physical be-

ing, or that we’re comfortable living in our own skin.

Developing In-the-Body Presence I’m on a somatic mission in life! My work is all about helping people to live from the place of in-the-body presence and connection. The body is your vital vehicle while you’re here, and is truly a temple that houses the unique and amazing spiritual essence that you are. I believe it’s your birthright to be happy and vibrant in your miraculous body. It is also your responsibility to take good care of the one and only body you’re given, and to respect the body of your fellow humans and the body of the earth that supports all of our lives.

Your body is a voluminous personal library and archive of your life. Being with you every moment, it has been registering every experience you have, including every perception, emotion and belief you’ve associated with what’s gone on for you. The registry has both conscious and subconscious levels. It’s rich with your personal information, memories and meanings, and doesn’t know how to lie. When something is off, or not congruent, the body knows and shows it.

Perhaps you’ve heard of the many research studies that tell us up to 93% of communication happens not through verbal content, but through what our body language is saying. We are all responding to, and forming opinions about, each other not on the basis of what you say, but on how you’re saying it—through body posture, eye contact, gestures, tone of voice and “the vibes” you’re emanating.

Being aware and in tune with your body’s sensations and signals gives you so much more access to all parts and dimensions of yourself. Living in your body is also the way to living in the present, and the doorway to more self-control in your communication and success in relationships. It’s easy to get mentally or emotionally lost living in the past—pains, hurts, even fond memories of “better days”—or living in the future filled with worries, fears and expectations. What gets missed is living in the here and now.

Try consciously breathing and climbing down from your head and out from under your emotions into your body—your torso, belly, hips, hands, legs, feet. Start experimenting with living more in the present by simply being more present in your body!

Throughout the day, take a few moments to get centered, grounded, relaxed, connected. Be ready for great and fun discoveries in how getting present in your body can help you shift your thoughts and feelings for the better, and show up in your life with focus, clarity and real personal power.

R.E.S.P.E.C.T. Probably the single most important thing we can do, as individuals and as a society and civilization, is for everybody (yes, every body!) to deeply respect and honor The Body. If you simply honored and lived fully in the

one precious essential body that you have, chances are that you would automatically take proper care of it!

You would feel your heart, know your mind and be connected to who you truly are and the sacredness of all life.

The very idea of violating, abusing or harming another person’s body would seem abhorrent and absurd.

We would all treasure Mother Earth, and be grateful good stewards of the environment—knowing how totally dependent we are and in vital need of clean water and air, healthy food, natural resources, open space, the beauties of nature. We couldn’t possibly rape the earth, clear-cut trees and rain forests, pollute and exploit, deny animals their habitat, or cause whole species to become extinct.

In this light of honoring The Body and living fully in the amazing one each of us is granted, we would be certain that every-body has a home.

Every human being requires and deserves a safe, warm, nurturing space and a place to lie down each night and wake up every morning, to be able to enjoy and make the most of their days. Affordable housing would be treated as the birthright and basic building-block it is for every single person, and homelessness would never ever be tolerated for any-body.

Embodiment is aliveness and empowerment! On this day, right here and now, consider these things and ask yourself: Where am I living?

Jamie Leno Zimron is a 6th Degree Aikido Black Belt, LPGA Golf Pro, Corporate Speaker and Holistic Peak Performance Trainer. Contact her for private lessons and coaching, or to work with your conference or company: 760-492-GOLF(4653) and jamiesensei@thekiaiway.com

Photo by Rink

The KiAi Way

I’ve never forgotten one day years ago in San Francisco, when a successful accountant came to see me for her first somatic (soma = “the body” in Greek) psychotherapy session. Her career was going well, but she was out of shape, depressed and unhappily single. She lived between spreadsheets and calculators as she sat working all day indoors, moving only her fingers and eyes. Knowing she needed to make some changes, she said her friends sent her to me because I did “some kind of body therapy, whatever that is,” and because their image of her was “a head running around on a skateboard!”

The friendly doorman (center) at Cinch bar was surrounded on Saturday evening, October 27, by characters dressed up for the pre-Halloween costume parade on Polk Street.

S AN F R ANC IS C O BAY T IM ES

NOVEM BER 1, 2018

21

Sister Dana Sez: Words of Wisdumb from a Fun Nun

Sister Dana sez, “When we run strong on Social Security and Medicare—not just protecting them, but improving and expanding them—progressive candidates can win in any district.

Let us pray for the Blue Wave!”

TRANSGENDER LAW CENTER (TLC) celebrated 16 years of igniting change and doing what it takes to keep transgender and gender nonconforming people alive, thriving and fighting for liberation. This year’s celebration, SPARK!, was held on October 18 at the Bently Reserve. Before showing a video of all the accomplishments of TLC, Executive Director Kris Hayashi noted that TLC is the largest national trans-led organization advocating self-determination for all people, and added that TLC changes law, policy and attitudes so that all people can live safely, authentically and free from discrimination regardless of their gender identity or expression. I had the good fortune of sitting next to the relatively new Executive Director for ST. JAMES INFIRMARY, Toni Newman, and trans-man Trystan Reese, who spoke of his fame as what he called himself “the man who birthed a baby.” He talked about the pros and cons of being famous, and praised his children. He came down from Portland, where he is a trans activist, especially for this event.

Longtime trans activist Cecilia Chung brought to the podium a Certificate of Recognition from the Mayor to the Vanguard Awardee, Laverne Cox, who is a two-time Emmy-nominated actress and Emmy-winning producer best known for her work on the critically acclaimed Netflix original series Orange is The New Black, where she plays the groundbreaking role of Sophia Burset. Laverne is the first trans woman of color to have a leading role on a mainstream scripted television show, and is the first openly trans person to be nominated for an Emmy in an acting category. She gave a truly inspiring and empowering speech from the heart. She spoke of her heartbreakingly difficult years in New York during her transition as a black trans woman, when she seriously contemplated committing suicide. But she got into therapy, received help from a life coach and found a community “for which I am grateful, because I would not be standing here today,” she said tearfully. She said we are all here for “a divine purpose” to show that “trans lives matter!” She added, “We are under attack and scapegoated like never before, but this is the moment to connect with our divine sense of being.” She concluded, “Every day I can say I choose love today and not fear.”

On Saturday, October 20, OURTOWNSF along with the EUREKA VALLEY RECREATION CENTER and TurnOut (connecting volunteers with LGBTQ causes and promoting volunteerism and community engagement among LGBTQ people and allies) hosted the 3rd annual OURTOWNSF NONPROFIT EXPO at Castro’s Eureka Valley Recreation Center. OurTownSF is a program of REAF (RICHMONDERMET AID FOUNDATION)— a 501(c)3 nonprofit providing aid to HIV/AIDS, hunger and underserved youth programs. The remark22

SA N FRANCISCO BAY T I ME S

NOVE MB E R 1 , 2 0 1 8

Nico Santos was the HRC Visibility Award recipient. Santos is the openly gay Filipino-American actor from the highly successful movie, Crazy Rich Asians, and NBC TV’s hilarious sitcom, Superstore. And the 2018 HRC Corporate Equality Award went to Laura Alber, CEO of Williams-Sonoma, Inc., for their exceptional commitment to equality for the LGBTQ community. The night featured actress, activist and inspirational trans singer Shea Diamond for entertainment, performing her truly moving music, including “Where’s My Piece of American Pie,” and another, “I Am Her,” reflecting her time while wrongly incarcerated for being her authentic self. Author Garrard Conley, an LGBTQ civil rights advocate, was a special guest. Conley’s memoir about his wretched time in conversion therapy was the inspiration for the film Boy Erased. DJ Christopher B spun great beats at the After Party with stunning views of the Bay and Ferry Building.

Dozens of community members and organizations with the NO NEW SF JAIL COALITION gathered for a lively rally on October 22 outside of San Francisco’s City Hall with a black on yellow floating banner that read, “No More Jails, No More Cops.” The rally was organized to urge City officials to follow through on their commitment to close the jail in the decrepit Hall of Justice Building at 850 Bryant Street. The rally was endorsed by a number of organizations, including GAY SHAME, SENIOR AND DISABILITY ACTION, and TGI JUSTICE PROJECT. On October 25, Mayor London Breed announced an Executive Directive to expand gender and self-identifiers on all City forms and applications when asking for demographic information and to provide gender identity training for City employees. The Directive comes in the wake of plans by the Trump Administration to roll back recognition of transgender people under federal civil rights laws. In addition to this Directive, Mayor Breed will work to introduce legislation to ensure that this recognition is protected permanently.

Matthew Shepard, who was murdered at 21 years old in 1998 in an anti-gay hate crime, was interred at Washington National Cathedral (continued on page 29)

PHOTO BY RINK

By Sister Dana Van Iquity

able event (with the theme: “Over the Rainbow”) featured over 100 SF LGBTQ nonprofit service agencies and over $1,000 in door prizes. From 2016 to 2017 the Expo grew from 56 to 105 groups participating, and attendees increased from a few hundred to over 1,000. This year’s amazing entertainment included San Francisco Lesbian/Gay Freedom Band; Billboard recording artist, Bebe Sweetbriar; Sundance Saloon—our community’s premiere country-western dance club, where folks were encouraged to join in, no partner needed; CHEER SF— the official cheerleading team of SF; cabaret chanteuse Leanne Borghesi; and Emjay Mercury - one of the reigning SF Drag Kings winners. https://www.ourtownsf.org/

Dennis McMillan (aka Sister Dana) enjoyed the Academy of Friends Art & Fashion Party at Art Attack SF Gallery on October 26 with emcee Carnie Asada and artist Tracy Piper.

BAY TIMES S

A

N

F

R

A

N

C

I

S

C

O

LGBTQ News & Calendar for the Bay Area CELEBRATING FOUR DECADES (1978–2018)

From the Coming Up Events Calendar See page 26

Friday, November 2 - Toshi Reagon and BIGLovely @ Freight & Salvage Coffeehouse, 2020 Addison Street, Berkeley. Reagon, who has been called dynamic, progressive and fierce, brings her powerful band BIG Lovely to The Freight for two shows, November 2 & 3. 8pm. http://www.thefreight.org

Friday, November 9 - Reginald & Ruckus: Werewolf Hunters @ The Phoenix Theatre, 414 Mason Street. The hunters have dedicated their lives to seeking the monster, pausing only for tea, a bit of a poem and to sketch a drooping toadstool. 7:30pm continuing through Nov. 17. http://www.phoenixtheatresf.org

San Francisco Transgender Film Festival Offers Beauty, Rage and Resistance Before you even f inish reading this article, you may want to go online and purchase your tickets to the 2018 San Francisco Transgender Film Festival (SFTFF). This year’s edition of SF TF F runs November 9–11 at the Roxie Theater in San Francisco’s Mission District.

ASL interpretation and closed-captioning are provided at the November 9th 9 pm program, and a family-friendly program runs Sunday, November 11, at 2 pm.

“It’s true,” SFTFF Artistic Director Shawna Virago told the San Francisco Bay Times. “Tickets are selling that fast!

And not only because we’re celebrated for being the world’s first and longestrunning transgender film festival.”

Virago added, “People are so outraged by the transphobia and racism of the Trump administration—we’re so hungry for beauty and inspiration and community right now.”

The 2018 SFTFF offers audiences all of this and more, with five world-class programs that feature everything from science fiction to rom-coms to animation to music videos to hard-hitting documentaries.

Festival highlights include the highlyanticipated San Francisco premiere of Happy Birthday Marsha, which commemorates Black trans activist and performer Marsha “Pay It No Mind” Johnson and her role in instigating the 1969 anti-policing riots at the Stonewall Inn, a watershed event for the gay liberation movement. The film interweaves imagined scenes with found archival footage to counter the endemic erasure of trans women of color from narratives of political resistance. Directed by Tourmaline (fka Reina Gossett) and Sasha Wortz-

Photos courtesy of San Francisco Transgender Film Festival

el, the film stars Independent Spirit Award Winner Mya Taylor as Johnson with cinematography by Sundance winner Arthur Jafa and an original score

by Geo Wyeth.

SF T F F f i l m ma ker Stor mMiguel Florez said, “This year, SF TF F couldn’t come soon enough. We need these films as a balm for the wounds caused by the Republican administration.

We need these films as fuel for our movement. We need to see ourselves reflected on screen— our bodies, our love, our power, our beauty.”

Recently, a leaked memo from the Department of Health and Human Services revealed that the Republican administration wants to narrowly define gender as a biological, immutable condition determined by genitalia at birth, in a violent effort to roll back recognition and protections of transgender people under federal civil rights law. This new definition would essentially eradicate federal recognition— and therefore access to rights, protections and services—for transgender Americans.

SFTFF Production Coordinator Eric Garcia said, “At the same moment that the Trump administration is targeting, attacking and trying to erase the very existence of trans communities, SFTFF

San Francisco Transgender Film Festival Friday through Sunday, November 9–11

Happy Birthday Marsha

is fighting back to defend the value of trans bodies, lives and artistic expression.”

There is a light-hearted side to the Festival at times, too.

Humorous films include Dropping Penny, in which two dogwalkers race to get a pup back to her alpha butch mom in what SFTFF calls “a very queer comedy.”

We sat down with SFTFF Artistic Director Shawna Virago to chat about this year’s Festival.

San Francisco Bay Times: How has the festival changed over the last 21 years?

Shawna Virago: We were founded in 1997 and we are the world’s first and longest running transgender film festival, not to brag. We organized our initial Festival for the same reason so many other marginalized communities have organized film festivals: the absence of authentic representations of our lives in the commercial media. When I think back to when we started, I could never have imagined the public scope transgender issues are receiving, including the constant attacks on our rights from the President of the United States and his cronies.

Roxie Theatre 3117 16th Street San Francisco

More info: http://sftff.org/

San Francisco Bay Times: Why do you feel it’s so important to share transgender stories and art?

Shawna Virago: It’s important for all marginalized groups to be empowered to frame their stories, and we were founded to create space and opportunities for transgender and gender non-conforming people to screen their films. Authentic transgender stories are still vastly under-represented or absent entirely from mainstream cinema. Also, we were started with DIY principles and we continue to prioritize films made by the most marginalized people in our communities.

San Francisco Bay Times: What makes SFTFF different than other LGBTQ festivals?

Shawna Virago: SFTFF is based upon anti-oppression principles and is a grassroots organization led by transpeople rooted in diverse communities. SFTFF supports both emerging and established artists, and centers on grassroots, radical, experimental or DIY films. We (continued on page 28)

Tickets: https://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/3596411

Awaken

Pinky Gurung

KIT’N KITTY’S

QUEER POP QUIZ

SO NICE TO DO TWICE Both lesbian musician Jill Sobule and pop princess Katy Perry recorded songs with this same title: A) Bushfire B) Come to My Window C) Both Hands D) I Kissed a Girl ANSWER ON PAGE 28

Karin Jaffie, aka Kit/Kitty Tapata, won the title of Mr. Gay San Francisco in 2011 and has earned many other honors since.

Connect with Jaffie via Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/pg/ktapata

S AN F R ANC IS C O BAY T IM ES

NOVEM BER 1, 2018

23

Boy Erased Is A Disappointing Drama About Gay Conversion Therapy

Film Gary M. Kramer The well-meaning drama Boy Erased, based on Garrard Conley’s memoir about his experiences in a gay conversion therapy program, is a TV movieof-the-week dressed up as Oscar bait.

Written and directed by Joel Edgerton, the film, which opens November 2 in the Bay Area, is best geared towards heterosexuals unfamiliar with the insidious practice.

At the start of Boy Erased, Jared (Lucas Hedges) is being taken to a daily refuge program run by Victor Sykes (Edgerton) to “assess” and “cure” him of his homosexuality. Jared’s parents, Marshall (Russell Crowe), a Baptist preacher, and Nancy (Nicole Kidman), a bleach-blond Southern Belle, have decided this treatment is the best—if not only—option for their son.

As a series of extended f lashbacks shows, however, Jared is not guilty of sexual sin—as Sykes and his parents believe—rather, the totality of his sin is desire. He claims to “think about men,” but he does very little acting on his same-sex attractions. Oddly, Jared’s character presents himself more as bi-curious than gay, as if Edgerton wants to make Boy Erased palatable to the very audience—straight parents—that needs to hear the message.

And the message is important; the horrors of conversion therapy have more negative than positive effects on youth. (Statistics in the film’s end credits indicate 36 states still allow gay conversion therapy and 700,000 LGBTQ people have been subjected to it.) But Edgerton cudgels viewers with a slow-motion sequence in which one of the boys in the program is literally beaten repeatedly by family members and other folks, as if to knock the gay out of him. It is an obvi-

science, God, and free choice, shows t hat there can be clearer thinking on homosexuality and faith.

Other comments by Sykes and the teens address what it means to be a “real man,” “faking it until you make it” and “ becoming the man you are not.” While these agenda- d r iven ap proaches get at the core of why folks believe in conversion therapy, a manipulative scene of Sykes bullying the teens is cringe-inducing for all the wrong reasons.

Viewers are supposed to feel pity for the youth, but the characters are too one-dimensional to generate empathy. Several of the program’s attendees aren’t fully formed and are distinguished more by their hair color or body type than any other characteristic.

As Jared fulfills one of the program’s requirements, cataloging his “moral inventory,” he reflects back on his relationships with Henry ( Joe Alwyn) and Xavier (Theodore Pellerin), which are respectively tough and tender. What transpires in these scenes—and should be left for audiences to discover—seems very real and impactful, but Jared’s internal re-

he admires and reacts with a glare when someone calls him a “faggot.”

Even a scene of self-hating, where Jared throws a rock at a sexy billboard ad, seems forced. Hedges is supposed to be a “boy erased,” but he doesn’t disappear into the role.

What the film does best is to focus on the parents and their role in Jared’s situation. Nancy talks about “hurting to help,” and justifies her actions by telling her son that “parents want to protect their kids,” but it is not until she senses Jared is in danger in the program that she starts to change her opinion and a ferocious MamaBear mode kicks in to stop the abuse/ treatment. Kidman may generate applause from viewers when she finally does right by her son (that’s not much of a spoiler) but the actress does seem miscast in her role.

In contrast, Russell Crowe is able to silently express Marshall’s internal conf lict well. His awkward discussions with Jared give the film some of the juicy dramatic tension Boy Erased sorely lacks. In support, Edgerton plays Victor Sykes broadly, like a cartoon villain.

ous and heavy-handed scene in a film that often lacks subtlety and nuance.

Many of the characters in Boy Erased try to “pray the gay away,” and there are several discussions about behavior and choice— debating if LGBTQ folks are “born this way” or “choose” to engage in queer activities. A preachy comment about being born a football player tries to defend the program’s position, but a better sequence, in which Jared visits a doctor (out gay actress Cherry Jones) who discusses 24

SA N FRANCISCO BAY T I ME S

NOVE MB E R 1 , 2 0 1 8

sponses to these potential boyfriends are not articulated enough to fully illuminate his character.

Jared is repeatedly being asked, “Do you want to change?” His answer, yes, may be going along to get along, but Hedges’ performance never convinces; he never makes Jared’s internal struggle feel real. He plays Jared’s emotional turmoil by simply having a perpetually troubled look on his face.

Jared cries in a bathroom stall after a difficult encounter with someone

Boy Erased is a clunky redemption tale.

It tries too hard to be crowd-pleasing, and as a result, glosses over the issues at stake and how teens like Jared are subjected to reparative therapy that does more damage than good. © 2018 Gary M. Kramer Gary M. Kramer is the author of “Independent Queer Cinema: Reviews and Interviews,” and the co-editor of “Directory of World Cinema: Argentina.” Follow him on Twitter @ garymkramer

BAY TIMES S

A

N

F

R

A

N

C

I

S

C

O

LGBTQ News & Calendar for the Bay Area CELEBRATING FOUR DECADES (1978–2018)

COMING UP

Compiled by Blake Dillon Marga Gomez’s “Latin Standards” at the Marsh Berkeley through Nov. 17 http://www.themarsh.org

CALENDAR OF UPCOMING EVENTS http://sfbaytimes.com/ NOVEMBER

1 Thursday MECCA SF Happy Hour @ Pause Wine Bar, 1666 Market Street.

The monthly mixer for women welcomes as special guests Board members from the National Center for Lesbian Rights. 6:30-9:30pm.

MECCA 2.0 on Facebook The Indian Is Still Alive: Two Spirit History & Drumming @ GLBT History Museum, 4127 18th Street. An evening of music with history featuring the Bay Area American Indian Two Spirits (BAAITS) drum group, including a screening of the documentary The Indian Is Sill Alive and the The Indian Knows the Songs. 7-9pm. http://www.glbthistory.org Cardboard Piano @ New Conservatory Theatre Center, 25 Van Ness Avenue. Produced in conjunction with the Museum of African Diaspora, the play is a lesbian love story about the challenges faced

by teenagers in Uganda during 1999.

Continues through December 2. http://www.nctcsf.org

performance scheduled through November 3. http://www.sfopera.org

Love & Pride The Musical @ SF LGBT Community Center, 1800 Market Street. An innovative new musical about identity and dialogue that follows the stories of six characters and their journeys. 7pm.

Also Nov. 8.

The Boy from Oz presented

by Theatre Rhino @ Gateway Theatre, 215 Jackson Street.

Directed by John Fisher with music director Sheela Ramesh, the show takes you down under with the late great performer Peter Allen (1944–1992), whose original songs are featured. Through Nov. 17. http://www.therhino.org

http://www.loveandpridethemusical.com

Baby Doll @ Shelton Theater, 533 Sutter Street. This dark comedy

by Tennessee Williams, about a virgin child bride and her alcoholic husband, has been called a triumph over traditional female roles.

Through November 3. http://www.sheltontheater.org San Francisco Opera presents Strauss’ Arabella @ San Francisco War Memorial Opera House, 301 Van Ness Avenue. A pre-opera talk will be presented by a noted music educator prior to each

2 Friday Still They Persist: Protest Art from the 2017 Women’s Marches Opening Reception @ Pro Arts, 150 Frank Ogawa Plaza, Oakland. The new exhibit, described as a living archive of more than 180 objects from the first march following Trump’s inauguration, celebrates the new exhibit continuing through November 30. http://www.proartsgallery.org Jennifer Berezan in Concert with Chris Webster @ Showcase Theatre, Marin Civic Center, 10 Avenue of the Flags, San Rafael. Berezan and longtime collaborator Webster will present a program of uplifting and transformational music spanning genres from folk, country and chant to rock and pop. 8-10:30pm. http://www.marincenter.org Toshi Reagon and BIGLovely @ Freight & Salvage Coffeehouse, 2020 Addison Street, Berkeley. Reagon, who has been called dynamic, progressive and fierce, brings her powerful band BIG Lovely to The Freight for two shows, November 2 & 3.

8pm. http://www.thefreight.org

3 Saturday Professional Photo Shoot Day with Joe Mazza @ Strut, 407 Castro Street. A benefit for Strut, the event brings the opportunity to have head shots by a pro for a minimal fee supporting queer sexual health and wellness. 10:30am-5pm. bporrashernandez@sfaf.org 26

SA N FRANCISCO BAY T I ME S

NOVE MB E R 1 , 2 0 1 8

Sucia: El Aniversario – LOUDA - @ El Rio, 3178 Mission Street. DJ Sazon Libre will be spinning tunes during this benefit for Somos Famila, a Bay Area LGBTQ volunteer based organization supporting families and LGBT youth in and out of schools. 2-8pm. http://www.elriosf.com Art & Wine Fundraiser for The Latina Center @ Homage, 88 Hardie Place. The event is a fundraiser for The Latina Center that provides leadership and professional development opportunities for the Latino community. 5-9pm. https://bit.ly/2PpOf7X

4 Sunday Garage and Bake Sale @ Pacific Center for Human Growth, 2712 Telegraph Avenue, Berkeley.

Clothing, baked goods, furniture, appliances, books and more will be on sale. 11am-3pm. http://www.pacificcenter.org Drum Sunday: Drum & Shekere Orchestra with Afia Walking Tree @ Women Drummers International, Oakland.

Master percussionist Afia Walking Tree will lead this workshop session on traditional and contemporary African rhythms.

All are welcome. 1-3pm.

Drum Sunday on Facebook Absolute Beginner’s Queer Tango Series @ Berkeley Finnish Hall, 1970 Chestnut Street, Berkeley. The first in a multi-part series of lessons. The sessions are hosted by Abrazo Queer Tango.

3:30pm. https://bit.ly/2COsnfx LGBT Sanctuary Project Fun’Raiser: Melanie deMore and Friends! @ La Pena Cultural Center, 3105 Shattuck Avenue, Berkeley. This annual fundraiser, featuring the award winning choral director Melanie deMore, supports a non-profit program for LGBT immigrants who seek asylum in the U.S. due to difficulties in their countries of origin. 5-7pm. http://olas-sanctuary.org

5 Monday Sacred Cocktails herchurch & The Divine Feminine @ Lookout, 16th & Market Streets.

The monthly party welcomes special guests Rev. Stacy Boorn and Thom Longino for a discussion about the feminist congregation in the Christian-Lutheran denomination that embodies the Goddess through liturgy and more. 6:30pm. http://www.lookoutsf.com

6 Tuesday Covered California DropIn Hours @ Street, 407 Castro Street. Bring your questions about health insurance and how Covered California will help pay for meds, therapy, surgeries and other medical needs. Open enrollment continues through January 15.

4-6pm. http://www.strutsf.org

7 Wednesday Dykes with Drills Get Wild @ Wild Side West, 424 Cortland Avenue. Learn more about construction and tools at this evening designed for connection and community building. 7pm and also on December 5 and Janaury 9. http://www.wildsidewest.com Evoking Two Spirit Experience Onscreen @ GLBT History Museum, 4127 18th Street. The evening wil feature short films created by Two Spirit people offering insights into their lives and spirituality. 7-9pm. http://www.glbthistory.org Dayna Kurtz & Vicki Randle @ Ivy Room, 860 San Pablo Avenue, Albany. Award-winning singer/songwriter Dayna Kurtz performs with LGBT community favorite Vicki Randle. 8pm. http://www.ivyroom.com

8 Thursday Openhouse Fall Feast @ Green Room, War Memorial, 401 Van Ness Avenue. A free event featuring a feast provided by Mollie Stone’s with pumpkin pie.

3:30-6pm. RSVP to fallfeastrsvp@openhouse-sf.org

Migration NightLife @ California Academy of Sciences, 55 Music Concourse Drive, Golden Gate Park. La Pelanga DJs bring music from around the world with Afro-Latin beats at this special edition of NightLife exploring patterns of migration in the natural world through art and discussions.

6pm. http://www.calacademy.org

9 Friday Reginald & Ruckus: Werewolf Hunters @ The Phoenix Theatre, 414 Mason Street. In this original comedy, the hunters return, bringing their tale of the two men who have dedicated their lives to the hunting of the monster, pausing only for tea, a bit of a poem and to sketch a drooping toadstool.

7:30pm repeated through November 17. http://www.phoenixtheatresf.org The Female Bawdy Show @ PianoFight, 144 Taylor Street. A new sketch comedy program, the show includes women pony lovers, British STDs, crop crotch pants, an Instant Pot and more by the ladies of Chardonnay, a female-led sketch comedy group formed in 2009 and affiliated with PianoFight. 8pm through November 17. http://www.pianofight.com MILF! And Halford Wives – Live Band Karaoke @ Ivy Room, 860 San Pablo Avenue.

Queer rock band MILF! teams up with the Halford duo to present the Ivy Room’s monthly live karaoke event. 8:30pm. http://www.ivyroom.com

10 Saturday Night of 100 Dinners San Francisco @ Multiple locations.

The National LGBTQ Task Force and its allies have organized the fifth annual benefit for the Creating Change Scholarship Fund featuring small dinner parties followed by a dessert party where attendees come together to meet, greet and network. 6pm-12am. https://bit.ly/2DbcXmE

11 Sunday The Forum with Holcombe Waller: A Divine Queer Rite @ Grace Cathedral, 1100 California Street. Composer Waller will discuss the creation of his intimate and deeply moving community-based work honoring those who suffered persecution for their sexual orientation and gender expression. 9:30-10:30am. http://www.gracecathedral.org Heat Military Ball @ The Great Northern, 119 Utah Street.

DJs Shane Stiel and Nina Flowers will be spinning at this celebration of the armed forces with go gos and goddesses, hosted by Bebe Sweetbriar and more. 6pm-1am. http://www.thegreatnorthernsf.com

12 Monday SF Eagle Karaoke @ SF Eagle, 398 12th Street. The weekly event on Mondays is hosted by Beth Bicostal, Eduardo Wagar and Rahni Nothingmore. 9pm-1am. http://www.sf-eagle.com

13 Tuesday Rick’s Most Excellent Birthday Reading @ Perfectly Queer SF, Dog Eared Books Castro, 489 Castro Street. A host of readers will present. There will also be door prizes, cake, chocolates, red wine and presents.

7pm. perfectlyqueersf@gmail.com

MORE LISTINGS AT http://sfbaytimes.com/ S AN F R ANC IS C O BAY T IM ES

NOVEM BER 1, 2018

27

GGBA (continued from page 11) GGBA, because a lot of people told us that it was the best organization to help LGBT business owners.

GGBA: Has being an LGBT entrepreneur affected your business’ path? If yes, how?

Magdalena Rodríguez: We came to the U.S. with lots of expectations and dreams. We didn’t know that Silicon Valley was very sexist, racist, and at times, a homophobic place. Only 3% of the investors in Silicon Valley invest in women and only 1% in Hispanic people. A few month ago, we were at an event in Silicon Valley and when we told an investor about GPSGAY he actually turned and gave us his back. Perhaps things would somehow be easier if we were not targeting this specific market, or if we were not lesbians. In any case, we wouldn’t change a thing.

GGBA: How has the GGBA helped your business so far?

Magdalena Rodríguez: GGBA was an amazing help for us. First of all, they recommended StartOut GrowLab, which is the f irst accelerator for LGBT entrepreneurs and we were accepted to join the first cohort. We received free office space for one year at One Embarcadero Center, mentorship and contacts with investors that invest in LGBT entrepreneurs. Also, the GGBA Make Contact events were and are a great way to connect with amazing people that are willing to help you. And last but not least, GGBA helped us to connect with corporations that later became our customers. At the GGBA you feel like you are at home with your family and peers.

GGBA: If you are an LGBTBE certified business, how has certification helped your business?

Magdalena Rodríguez: GPSGAY is an international LGBTBE certified business, but since we are not permanent residents or U.S. citizens, we cannot apply to job opportunities at

STUART & JOHN (continued from page 5) the Diversity Supplier Chain. We already talked with the President at the National LGBT Chamber of Commerce and he told us they are working to solve that problem for immigrants.

loyalty to a single “hypermasculine a nd hy per pat r ia rcha l” leader, who “represents that group.” As such, fascist tactics are “harshly homophobic.”

GGBA: What has been your biggest reward/satisfaction during your journey as an entrepreneur? And your biggest disappointment/nervewracking situation?

Stanley identifies ten pillars of fascist political tactics: 1) an appeal to a “mythic past”; 2) propaganda where actual news is “fake news”; 3) “anti-intellectualism,”; 4) “unreality” that leaves only “loyalty”; 5) hierarchy; 6) “victimhood,” where “the dominant group are the greatest victims”; 7) “law and order” where the “out group” are criminals; 8) “fomenting fear about sexuality” and creating “panic around the threat of rape perpetrated by out-group men against in-group women”; 9) “Sodom and Gomorrah,” where “the real values come from the heartland” and the urban dwellers are “decadent”; 10) a social-Darwinian notion that the out group is “lazy” and inferior. In sum: “It’s all about winning” and “power is more important than the truth.”

Magdalena Rodríguez: We had many rewards in our journey as entrepreneurs. We won the Mobile Premiere Award in Barcelona as one of the best upcoming apps in the world, we also won the Cartier Women’s Initiative Award, the Seedstars Award, the Startup Nation Award, the App Circus Award, and more recently (September 2018), GPSGAY was selected by Facebook to be part of the Facebook Community Leadership Program, where we are going to receive funding, support, training and media exposure to advance further positive impact.

Our biggest disappointment was not being able to get enough funding yet to move to the U.S. for good and to keep working from the Bay Area with the help of the GGBA.

Applying Stanley’s analysis, the latest Trump administration effort to define transgender people out of existence under Title IX is a naked

GGBA: What’s the most important lesson you learned being an entrepreneur?

ROSTOW (continued from page 13)

Magdalena Rodríguez: Resilience!!! As an entrepreneur you will find many stones in your way and if you want to succeed you should never give up and stop believing in yourself.

GGBA: What advice would you give to someone who is thinking of starting their own business?

Magda lena Rodríg uez: They should know it takes a lot of time, focus and hard work in order to succeed.

Login or register for GPSGAY at https://bit.ly/2qfPMz3

DONNA SACHET (continued from page 17) of the past four decades, recognition of Legacy Chorus Members (dating back to the chorus’ origin), and a birthday cake and toast. It was amazing to feel the change of mood from melancholy to joy, fully encompassing the many emotions the SFGMC so wonderfully stimulates in its audiences and shares among its membership. Special guest Armistead Maupin shared some remarks with his well-known and beloved irreverence and candor.

The next morning, nearly 100 from the chorus joined us at The Starlight Room for Sunday’s a Drag! Yes, the rumors are true: the origin of this columnist lies deep within the loving support of the SF Gay Men’s Chorus, awakened at a rustic retreat north of the City over 20 years ago. We collaborated with Holotta Tymes, Lady Tia and Mahlae to give them a show to remember! Of the many audiences we have welcomed over the past thirteen years, this was one of the most special; performing before one’s peers is sometimes challenging, but they were warm, appreciative and enthusiastic. What a perfect ending to a weekend of celebration and anticipation of another 40 years of musical excellence, community engagement and life-changing power!

Donna Sachet is a celebrated performer, fundraiser, activist and philanthropist who has dedicated over two decades to the LGBTQ Community in San Francisco. Contact her at empsachet@gmail.com

KIT’N KITTY’S

QUEER POP QUIZ

from shining a spotlight on these ludicrous entrepreneurs.”

I think I did the right thing.

Masterpiece Redux So, guess who is trying to work her way to the Supreme Court? It’s none other than Melissa, from Sweetcakes

by Melissa, and her husband Aaron Klein. These were two of the earliest antigay bakers, rejecting a couple of Oregon women back in January of 2013, nearly six years ago.

Melissa sucked a good deal of publicity out of the traumatic persecution and fine levied by the state. She and Aaron managed at one point to publish the names and addresses of the two women, who were promptly inundated with hate mail. In the end, the bakers were ordered to pay $135,000 in fees and compensation for emotional distress, and as is their wont, they appealed up to the Oregon Supreme Court, which declined to hear the case.

Now they are asking the High Court to review the damage award, arguing among other things, that they did not discriminate based on sexual orientation since they had made a cake for these women previously (for a heterosexual wedding). The Kleins also make the absurd claim that a wedding cake is a piece of art that carries the baker/artist’s speech into the event itself, forcing her to violate her cherished religious principles in the process.

Also, according to New York Law professor A rthur L eonard, the Kleins would like the Court to reconsider their 1990 precedent Employment Division v Smith, the famous case of the guys who illegally smoked peyote for their religious rites, lost their jobs and were not allowed unemployment benefits. Writing for a somewhat conf licted majority, Justice Scalia ruled that you can’t complain if a general law inadvertently conf licts with religious expression, and that the “unavoidable consequence of democratic government must be preferred to a system in

effort to “smash truth” and persecute “the other,” whom Trump’s followers could easily see as “decadent” city dwellers, but in reality, of course, pose no threat to anyone.

The Trump administration’s effort appears to appeal to a “mythic past,” where LGBTIQ people were neither seen nor heard. It denies scientific fact, reality and the humanity of transgender and gender non-binary people, reinforcing the notion of the asserted superiority of the “hypermasculine” leader, Trump.

Trump’s actions are part and parcel of decades-long efforts to portray opponents of LGBTIQ dignity and equality as “victims”—be it Anita Bryant’s efforts to “Save the Children” from gay people “recruiting” them; the Prop. 8 campaign’s scaring voters into thinking that their children would be “forced” to learn about “gay marriage” in public school; conservatives’ current attempts to foment panic that transgender people using the restroom that matches their gender will result in attacks on children; or current attempts to characterize people who refuse services to LGBTIQ people

which each conscience is a law unto itself or in which judges weigh the social importance of all laws against the centrality of all religious beliefs.”

Even though three liberals were in the minority, including Thurgood Marshall, and even though the ACLU was appalled, it certainly has always seemed to me that this logic makes perfect sense. You can find a religious excuse for just about any premise. Who’s to say that your Sunday ritual at the Church of Cocaine and Champagne isn’t as worthy as my local Methodist services?

These days, the religious actors are the far-right antigay Christians, not the courageous minority native Americans. All the more reason to support the premise that generally applicable laws that were not targeted against any particular religion may not be sidestepped with a faith-based excuse. Particularly not civil rights laws, which, in any event, serve a compelling government interest that will always win out against an individual claim.

The fact that Melissa is aiming for High Court review also emphasizes the uselessness of the Masterpiece Cakeshop opinion, issued last year in the case of Colorado baker Jack Phillips. Decided on a technicality in favor of Phillips, Justice Kennedy went on to say that laws like Colorado’s gay-inclusive anti-discrimination statute could not be ignored at will and that religious business owners might be curtailed by generally applicable regulations. This element of the decision seems to have been drowned out by the tone of the Trump administration and diminished by Kennedy’s own lack of emphasis. It’s no wonder that people like Melissa Klein and (maybe) florist Barronelle Stutzman feel free to present the identical issue to the newly conservative Court.

Send in the Clowns Oh, there are a half dozen other GLBT cases waiting for possible Supreme Court review, and I feel

ANSWER (Question on pg 23)

A & E (continued from page 23)

D) I Kissed a Girl

are more interested with Social Justice movements than what Hollywood has to say.

Sobule released her snappy I Kissed a Girl tune in 1995. Perry’s song did not come along until 2008.

San Francisco Bay Times: Will SFTFF address the Trump administration’s ongoing attacks against Transgender communities?

Shawna Virago: We will address this primarily by gathering safely in community, sharing in the power of our art. In less than a year, the Trump administration

28

SA N FRANCISCO BAY T I ME S

NOVE MB E R 1 , 2 0 1 8

under the guise of religion as “victims.”

Many Republican and other conservative leaders have laid the groundwork for Trump’s current words and deeds. Indeed, nothing describes Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell’s political approach better than Professor Stanley’s insights: “It’s all about winning” and “power is more important than the truth.”

But perhaps the gravest danger Stanley warns against is the normalization of fascist political tactics, writing that normalization “transform(s) the morally extraordinary into the ordinary.” Now is the time to continue naming and speaking up in every way against every element of Trump’s fascist political tactics to amass power and authority.

Stuart Gaffney and John Lewis, together for over three decades, were plaintiffs in the California case for equal marriage rights decided by the California Supreme Court in 2008. Their leadership in the grassroots organization Marriage Equality USA contributed in 2015

sure that I have already mentioned them at one point or another (Zarda!) Also, we continue to litigate the several challenges to Trump’s attempt to ban transgender men and women from serving in the military.

So far, I think we have four federal lawsuits, of which several have been popping back and forth to their respective appellate courts for the resolution or this or that motion. I know we have won everything so far, but I don’t know where each of these cases stands.

I was going to check on some of our transgender military cases just now when I was distracted by a listicle claiming to warn me about 45 famous tourist attractions that weren’t worth the effort. Of course, I had to look at them all, including the French Quarter of New Orleans, the Palace of Versailles, the Taj Mahal, Red Square, the White House, Mt. Denali and Christ statue on that mountain over Rio. Really? Old town Prague is on this “don’t bother” list, as is Sacre Coeur and Vatican City. How jaded are these writers? Most of their complaints involved crowds and tackiness.

There’s plenty see at the Vatican, they admit, “but frankly, it’s depressing to experience this much wealth in one place. Everything not nailed down seems to have been plated with gold, and there are enough tapestries and velvets and jewels to make you think you’ve wandered into Liberace’s closet.”

At the White House, “the tour itself is a bit of a snooze, unless you happen to snag a ticket during the winter holiday season when the decorations are pretty enough.”

As if that wasn’t bad enough, I then skimmed an article at New York Magazine online headlined: “12 Young People on Why They Probably Won’t Vote.” I recommend reading it, walking over to the wall and banging your head against it several times in succession. arostow@aol.com

has attempted to eliminate trans people from U.N. human rights documents, had the Department of Health and Human Services attempt to erase the existence of trans people and formally attempted to ban trans people from the military. These people have some serious hate towards trans and gender nonconforming people.

SFTFF has survived for over twenty years, proving that trans people won’t be silenced and trans people won’t be erased.

SISTER DANA (continued from page 22) following a service of thanksgiving and remembrance on October 26, at the request of the Shepard family. October 12 was the 20th anniversary of Shepard’s death.

The service celebrated and recalled Shepard’s life and was followed by a private interment in the Cathedral crypt. The service was presided over by the Right Rev. Mariann Edgar Budde, Episcopal Bishop of Washington, and the Right Rev. V. Gene Robinson, the first openly gay priest to be consecrated a bishop in the Episcopal Church.

We partied with a purpose on October 26 and joined ACADEMY OF FRIENDS’ 39th season ART AND FASHION KICKOFF PARTY for an evening of fashion and art at Art Attack SF in the Castro. Carnie Asada was the hostess with the mostest. I told her I worried that her gorgeous floor-length diaphanous gown might trip her and get caught on her high heels, and she thanked me for the warning and carried on like a true DQ!. Featured on that night was the awesome art of Tracy Piper, which has been exhibited for many marvelous months there and that you will no doubt recognize in my constant ravings about her paintings, which I have reviewed during the monthly CASTRO ART WALKS. I was especially thrilled to witness Piper in real life painting before our very eyes. What a treat! She told me she has never used a model, but always painted in her vivid imagination.

Tracy supremely sparkled in a black and silver sequined jumpsuit that night. Krewe de Kinque King Gary Virginia joined me in enjoying delicious bites and cocktails by Effen vodka (from Holland, but I do childishly enjoy saying the name out loud), and raffles. Fashions were furnished

by Black Tie Tuxedos at the Embarcadero Center. Academy of Friends is a local nonprofit, which raises funds, spreads awareness and encourages volunteerism that benefits HIV/ AIDS direct care and prevention education agencies in the San Francisco Bay Area. Academy of Friends has been in existence and evolving for over 39 years. Proceeds benefited Academy of Friends and their 2019 beneficiary partners. Be sure to save the date for the 39TH ANNUAL ACADEMY OF FRIENDS GALA on February 24, 2019. Through the annual Academy Awards Night Galas, they have raised $9+ million to support more than 73 HIV/AIDS service organizations in the San Francisco Bay Area. http://www.academyoffriends.org/ NATIONAL AIDS MEMORIAL GROVE held a FIRST LOOK CEREMONY on October 27 in Golden Gate Park offering a first look of the beautiful ARTISTS PORTAL MEMORIAL at the National AIDS Memorial Grove. The Artists Portal will also be the first permanent memorial honoring singers, instrumentalists, dancers and artists lost to AIDS from local, national and international LGBTQ and other arts organizations. A pre-program began with the San Francisco Lesbian/Gay Freedom Band. This was followed with Supervisor Rafael Mandelman and guest speakers, a reading of the almost 300 names of Chorus members lost to AIDS and a special serenade by SFGMC. Dr. Tim Seelig, Artistic Director of the SAN FRANCISCO GAY MEN’S CHORUS, sent a very sad notice regarding the death of his beloved daughter, Corianna: “It is with unimaginable grief that I share the sudden passing of Corianna, my beautiful daughter and best friend, Clay’s wife, and Clara’s Mother. It happened at her home last night. We were all there. She was the brightest of lights. Our lives will never be the same.” On October 28, a CELEBRATION OF LIFE: 1977-2018 was held at Nourse Theatre. Because she was “completely at home in Hawaii,” required attire was Hawaiian or bright colors. Dr. Tim, with

his usual fine sense of humor, added, “anyone wearing black will not be allowed entrance.”

Cultural folks joined Supervisor Rafael Mandelman, THE CASTRO LGBTQ CULTURAL DISTRICT and the YES ON E CAMPAIGN for a low-impact night of phone and text banking at the GLBT History Museum on October 30. San Francisco’s Proposition E will secure permanent, ongoing funding for the Castro LGBTQ Cultural District, and other cultural districts while increasing funding for arts education, individual artists and arts organizations of all sizes— adding an additional $25M for arts & culture over the next 10 years—without raising taxes! Sister Dana is all in for the arts and culture! Can you say: Amen?!

D’Arcy Drollinger presents BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER LIVE!, at Oasis, 298 11th Street @ Folsom, now through November 3, Thursday at 8 pm, Friday & Saturday at 7 pm. This is your last chance to see Buffy Summers return to Sunnydale and deal with a rebellious new Slayer named Faith, the return of her vampire boyfriend Angel, a pesky new Watcher, and the Mayor of Sunnydale who has decided to use her graduation to turn into a demon. And all with a hilarious tongue in cheek approach. Featuring the drag talent of Michael Phillis, Kim Burly, Melanie Marshall, John Paul Gonzalez, Laura LeBleu, Sergio Lobito, Kevin Singer, Emily France, Angel Adedokun and Molly Harvey. The night I saw it, October 25, was the birthday of Michael Phillis who plays Buffy. So, of course, we sang “The Happy Birthday Song” and served him cake with candles!

And next up at Oasis is D’Arcy Drollinger presenting: ABFAB LIVE! November 8–December 1, Thursdays at 8 pm, Fridays & Saturdays at 7 pm. This is a delightful drag parody of the beloved TV cult classic, starring some of San Francisco’s premiere drag performers, sending up two classic episodes: “Sex” and “Jealous.” Sweetie-darlings, get your Stoli and Bolli ready, because it’s gonna be “Absolutely Fabulous!” http://www.sfoasis.com On October 28, Senator Scott Wiener, Emeryville Mayor John Bauters and opponents of Proposition 6, rallied in Jane Walker Plaza to ride bikes to the Civic Center in high heels and wigs (fabulous!) in opposition to Prop 6, which would eliminate over $5 billion annually in transportation funds and stop funding for more than 6,500 bridge, road safety and public transit improvement projects currently underway throughout California.

Sister Dana sez, “These UPCOMING EVENTS are totes ‘da bomb’! But they promise there will be no actual bombs there to scare you! Although you should be scared enough to get your friends and fam to go VOTE against Repugnicans!”

DIA DE LOS MUERTOS is hosted

by BACK TO THE PICTURE on November 2, 6–9 pm, 934 Valencia Street. They’ll have some traditional Mexican Day of The Dead treats, food, wine, etc. and Day of the Dead art exhibited by dozens of artists. http://www.backtothepicture.com/ THE BOY FROM OZ is now playing at Theatre Rhinoceros’ Gateway Theatre, 215 Jackson Street at Battery, through November 17. It’s a raucous musical biography about the life of the most famous gay man from Australia—entertainer, singer/songwriter, Peter Allen—featuring songs written by him and with other collaborators. The show begins in the 1950s with his humble beginnings growing up in an Australian (Oz) bush town. He then experiences a meteoric rise to fame as an international star opening for Judy Garland and

selling out week-long engagements at Radio City Music Hall. Allen was Judy Garland›s good friend and Liza Minnelli’s first husband, until he came out gay. This is a tale of humor, heartbreak, self-discovery, forgiveness and love, all told using Allen’s own songs, including “I Honestly Love You,” “Don’t Cry Out Loud,” and “I Go to Rio.” Shows are Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays, 8 pm and Saturday matinees 3 pm.

ART SAVES LIVES presents an ART RECEPTION on November 7, 6–9 pm at Harvey Milk Photo Center, 50 Scott Street. This is an 18-person group show of mixed media, photos, paintings, assemblage, sculpture, pottery and more. Part of the show is a work in progress honoring seniors in photos and paintings—portraiture done in Eureka Rec Center and at Harvey Milk Photo Center. The show closes on December 8. https://tinyurl.com/ybxstcfs SAN FRANCISCO TRANSGENDER FILM FESTIVAL will take place November 9–11 at the Roxie Theater, 3117 16th Street at Valencia.

The San Francisco Transgender Film Festival (SFTFF) screens films that promote the visibility of transgender and gender variant people and challenges the mainstream media’s negative stereotypes of their communities.

They provide opportunities for transgender and gender variant media artists, build community through their film and performance events and engage audiences in cross-community dialogue. http://sftff.org/ PROJECT INFORM presents the annual EVENING OF HOPE, “Building a Future Within Reach” on Thursday, November 15, at Gallery 308 in San Francisco’s historic Fort Mason. This year’s event honors longtime activist and community leader Morey Riordan, and will feature delicious food, flowing cocktails and dazzling entertainment by Synchronicity Strings. The night will feature a special concert by recording artist Matt Bloyd, who represents everything Project Inform stands for. As a young gay man of color, he’s reached for the stars with ambition, openness and integrity. With his art, he promotes a world built on love without stigma, and embodies Project Inform’s founding principle: that a hopeful future is always just within reach. https://www.projectinform.org/ CRAZY FOR YOU is the Gershwin musical with music and lyrics by George Gershwin and Ira Gershwin presented by BAY AREA MUSICALS November 10–December 16 at Alcazar Theatre, 650 Geary Street. A zany rich-boy-meets-hometown-girl romantic comedy, Crazy For You tells the story of young New York banker Bobby Child, who is sent to Deadrock, Nevada, to foreclose on a rundown theatre. In Deadrock, Bobby falls for spunky Polly Baker, the theater owner’s daughter. But Polly takes an instant dislike to the city slicker, so Bobby vows—through cunning, razzmatazz and a hilarious case of mistaken identity—to win Polly’s heart and to save the theatre. Memorable Gershwin tunes from the score include “I Got Rhythm,” “Naughty Baby,” “They Can’t Take That Away from Me,” “Embraceable You,” “But Not for Me,” “Nice Work if You Can Get It,” and “Someone to Watch Over Me.” https://www.bamsf.org/crazy-for-you/ Sister Dana sez, “In state legislatures across the country, GOP lawmakers’ embrace of openly racist or extremist figures, organizations and views often goes unnoticed. And even when it has been exposed in recent years, a Washington-based group that helps elect Republicans to state legislatures says nothing. Birds of a feather?!”

S AN F R ANC IS C O BAY T IM ES

NOVEM BER 1, 2018

29

IMES TThrowback AYPhoto BRink S

A

N

F

R

A

N

C

I

S

C

O

Round About - All Over Town 1977 Fall Is in the Air

LGBTQ News & Calendar for the Bay Are) a CELEBRATING FOUR DECADES (1978–2018

Photos by Rink

O

n October 11, 1977, a birthday party for activist and soon-to-be San Francisco Bay Times founding contributor Cleve Jones was held at the Elephant Walk on Castro at 18th Street. Rink was among the celebrants, allowing him to capture this festive and intimate moment shared by, from left to right, Doug Perry, Harvey Milk, Eric Garber and Jones. Milk brought a donut “birthday cake” and giant candle for the occasion. (The bakery where he bought the treat, Donuts & Things, is still at 1549 Polk Street.)

The photo is bittersweet now, as Milk was assassinated in November of the following year. Garber—a founding member of the San Francisco Gay and Lesbian History Project as well as the GLBT Historical Society—died of HIV/AIDS in 1995 at age 40. Perry went on to serve as president of the Harvey Milk LGBT Democratic Club, secretary of the Gay Caucus for the California Democratic Party and more.

Elephant Walk was relatively new when the men gathered. Fred Rogers and David Manducca had opened the popular bar and restaurant just 3 years earlier. Milk’s camera shop was located just up the street.

A fire nearly burned down the building on December 2, 1988. After four years of work, it was largely restored, and since 1996 has been the site of Harvey’s. This welcoming watering hole remains central to the Castro, so the next time you visit, raise a glass to Jones—who celebrated his 64th birthday last month—and to all of those activists, past and present, who have worked to improve the lives of LGBT community members and allies.

Artist Tracy Piper and gallery manager Ashley Moss displayed Piper’s work at the Academy of Friends Art & Fashion Party at Art Attack SF on October 26.

A street sign announced the Academy of Friends party on the sidewalk in front of Art Attack Gallery in the Castro.

Academy of Friends board co-chair Gil Padia with event emcee Carnie Asada at AOF’s Art & Fashion Party held at Art Attack SF Gallery in the Castro on October 26

A volunteer for the Yes on C campaign held a sign on Castro Street near the 18th and Castro intersection.

Gary Virginia joined emcee Carnie Asada in unveiling the new Academy of Friends poster at AOF’s Art & Fashion Party on October 26.

Guests at the Academy of Friends Art & Fashion Party on October 26

An Academy of Friends volunteer dressed as The Riddler was on hand at Art Attack SF Gallery for the organization’s party on October 26.

Greeters and board chair Gil Padia (right) welcomed guests and offered raffle tickets at the Academy of Friends Fashion & Art Gallery on October 26.

As Heard on the Street . . . What do you think about the Golden State Warriors holding an LGBT night? compiled by Rink

30

Alex Huie

Cheri Mims

Bertie Brouhard

Shaun Haines

Randy Alfred

“I think that it’s wonderful. It makes us feel welcome and involved with a national sports team.”

“It’s a great idea.”

“Yes, I am all for it.”

“I like that idea.”

“LGBT Night is a natural for the Warriors. They’ve pioneered with the NBA’s first gay male executive.”

SA N FRANCISCO BAY T I ME S

NOVE MB E R 1 , 2 0 1 8

CASTRO

BAY TIMES S

A

N

F

R

A

N

C

I

S

C

O

LGBTQ News & Calendar for the Bay Area

CELEBRATING FOUR DECADES (1978–2018)

STREETCAM presented by

Host Gary Virginia (right) welcomed San Francisco Imperial Council Reigning Emperor Leandro Gonazalez and Donna Sachet, Empress XXX, at the Krewe De Kinque benefit for the LGBT Asylum Project held at the Edge bar on October 20.

http://sfbaytimes.com/

Volunteer Barry Miles with Grand Duke Ken Harper at Krewe de Kinque’s benfit for the LGBT Asylum Project in front of the Edge bar

Justine and Bryant Sharif and their newborn Xylan, owners of Perform for Life Gym, welcomed GGBA members to their facility located at Gough and HaightStreets on October 9.

The Asylum Project’s staff and vounteers were on hand for Krewe de Kinque’s benefit held at the Edge bar

GGBA members and guests joined staff at Perform for Life Gym during the program at GGBA’s Make Contact event on October 9.

Supervisor Rafael Mandelman spoke at his last campaign benefit before Election Day held at the Eureka restaurant.

Perform for Life staff members joined in for a group photo at their information table during the GGBA Make Contact on October 9.

The chef at Eureka Restaurant in the Castro presented a birthday cake to Supervisor Rafael Mandelman.

Supervisor Rafael Mandelman shared a hug with guests Chen Mims and Shaun Haines at his party on October 25.

American Legion Alexander Hamilton Post 448 members were on hand at the organization’s benefit at Cinch bar on October 20.

Supervisor Rafael Mandelman was surrounded by friends and supporters for this group shot at his party held on October 25.

S AN F R ANC IS C O BAY T IM ES

NOVEM BER 1, 2018

31