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LGBTQ News & Calendar for the Bay Area

CELEBRATING FOUR DECADES (1978–2018) October 4–17, 2018 | sfbaytimes.com

Horizons Foundation Is Our Community’s Lifeline

Black LGBTQ Migrant Project

Sonoma Strong

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horizons foundation is our community’s lifeline

Creating the World We Want to Live In

By Roger Doughty In 1980, a group of leaders at the LGBTQ Golden Gate Business Association wondered how to have a stronger impact on their community, especially in helping nonprofits that were just beginning to bloom in the decade following Stonewall. They knew that for our movement and these nonprofits to succeed, they would need ongoing financial support from our community because virtually no corporations or funding institutions supported LGBTQ causes.

They formed Horizons Foundation, the nation’s first community foundation dedicated to improving the lives of the LGBTQ community. The idea was a simple one, but breathtaking in its scope. The foundation would be funded by the community and for the community. It would not have to rely on a single donor but instead on a pool of donors who, collectively, could provide the needed resources for these organizations to grow. It would have enough resources to respond to the ever-changing needs of the community.

The foundation’s grants, which recently surpassed more than $40 million in lifetime giving, did more than just follow the growth of the LGBTQ community. They helped to chart its course. During its first decade alone, Horizons seeded some of the most influential LGBTQ organizations of our time, including the National Center for Lesbian Rights (NCLR), the Gay Games, and Project Open Hand. Horizons’ birth predated the appearance of HIV by only a short time.

In keeping with the pattern of early seed funding, Horizons made history in 1982 as the first foundation

in the U.S. to support an AIDS service provider: the Kaposi’s Sarcoma Research and Educ at ion Fou nd a tion, now known as the San Francisco AIDS Foundation.

More recently, in response to today’s n e e d s , Hor i z o n s gave early grants to Transgender Law Center and the one-year-old Oakland LGBTQ Community Center, as well as dozens of other organizations across the nine-county Bay Area.

Current events demonstrate just how fragile LGBTQ rights continue to be and that opposing forces are steadfast in their commitment to overturn the rights we’ve gained. At the heart of Horizons’ mission is creating a world where young people can thrive in safe and supportive homes and schools, where our community’s elders can age with dignity and in community, where our histories will be told, and where we can safeguard and expand the gains we’ve all fought so hard to win.

Roger Doughty is the President of Horizons Foundation ( https://www.horizonsfoundation.org/ ).

Welcome!

Like the San Francisco Bay Times, Horizons has a long history of celebrating our community and bringing to the forefront important issues that we face.

Media organizations have experienced enormous changes since the emergence of the internet and social media. Many papers and magazines dedicated to LGTBQ issues have folded or have simply moved online. But we should all be proud that the Bay Area continues to have publications that keep our community informed and entertained, and we are grateful to a long and continued partnership.

At Horizons, we understand the importance of an informed community and how the media plays an integral role in a well-functioning, viable democracy.

The media assures that citizens are well informed about community issues, that they participate in various ways in contributing to work around those community issues, and that the quality of life is improved as a result of their involvement.

On behalf of our staff, our Board of Directors, and our thousands of supporters, we congratulate the San Francisco Bay Times on its historic 40th Anniversary year.

Roger Doughty President, Horizons Foundation

Horizons’ Reach Beyond the Bay Area The Bay Area is, arguably, the epicenter of the LGBTQ movement.

Many of our movement’s brightest ideas and most cherished institutions began life here. What happens in the Bay Area matters for queer people across the U.S. and, indeed, across the world.

Horizons Foundation, as the world’s oldest community foundation dedicated to the LGBTQ community’s needs, is increasingly playing a central role beyond our 9-county Bay Area. As the home to Give OUT Day, an annual online day of giving benefiting LGBTQ nonprofits, Horizons works in partnership with more than 600 organizations in all 50 states and D.C. In addition to providing the platform and technology for the day of philanthropy, Horizons offers marketing and communications guidance to each organization, enabling organizations to maximize their abilities and understand the best approaches to engage with their public.

Internationally, through the Global Faith and Equality Fund (GFEF), Horizons is playing an active role by strategically funding grantee partners whose work is at the intersection of LGBTI rights, reproductive justice, and faith in Africa, Latin America and the Caribbean.

Supported by an anonymous donor, the 17-year initiative recently provided significant resources in the Sexual Minorities Uganda (SMUG) vs. Rev. Scott Lively case.

SMUG sued Scott Lively, a U.S.-based anti-gay religious fundamentalist, for his role in the persecution of LGBTI people in Uganda—in particular, his active participation in the conspiracy to strip away fundamental rights through anti-gay legislation (also known as the “kill the gays bill”). Lively is also the author of

Pink Swastika, which claims that rather than being victimized by the Nazis, gay men in Hitler’s inner circle helped to mastermind the Holocaust.

Horizons’ GFEF also funds projects focused on reproductive-justice and elevating accepting and LGBTQI-affirming faith leaders to combat the hate exported by U.S.based fundamentalist organizations and individuals to the Global South.

G i v e OU T D ay ’s 2018 total smashed the previous record, raising just shy of $1 million. 2018’s total marked a 28.2% increase over last year’s fundraising total and a 32.9% increase in the number of donors participating.

As a 2018 donor said: “Everyone is at danger from the current administration; this is one way I have to fight back and protect the people I love—which is everyone.”

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horizons foundation is our community’s lifeline

Imagining Our Community’s Future

By Roger Doughty, Olga Talamante, and Adam Blum Horizons Foundation has a long history of providing funds for organizations in our community on the frontlines of today’s issues. A grant from Horizons sends a signal that our community believes in the work these organizations are doing and is stepping forward with support. A grant is about more than funding. It’s about more than resources. It’s about people’s lives.

The work that Horizons is doing today in supporting our organizations is as important as ever. But Horizons also has a dream for the future: that there will be opportunity for all of our community to live with joy. To live with pride. To live in community. To play a role in social justice. To play a role in funding. To build capacity for the organizations that we need in our community. To make it possible for us—all of us—to thrive, and to play a role in making this a better world.

That’s the future. That’s the future our community must dream of. That’s the future that depends on what we do today and how prepared we are for whatever challenges or crises come our way.

1. Connect with organizations on the frontlines of the movement. Find out what they are doing and how their work impacts the community.

That’s one reason Horizons launched our historic Now and Forever Campaign. One of the most audacious goals ever sought by an organization serving our community, Horizons is well on its way to identifying a minimum of $100 million in committed legacy gifts to ensure our community stays strong regardless of future shifts in the political climate, setbacks our movement experiences, or new opportunities that may arise. We can secure the future now to make sure our community can respond effectively and swiftly when the resources are needed most.

Everyone in our community can guarantee this future today by following three simple steps:

2. Build community across communities. We must have an intersectional lens, especially in this climate, because when one of us faces discrimination, it is shared by us all.

3. Donate your resources. Give. Contribute. Volunteer. This is the time to do it. This is the time when we need the resources to resist and to be able to go on and rebuild what is being dismantled every single day. And this is what we need to secure a bright future for our entire LGBTQ community.

Be with us. Let’s do this together.

Roger Doughty is President of Horizons Foundation. Olga Talamante and Adam Blum serve as co-chairs of the board of directors. For more information about Horizons’ Now and Forever Campaign: https://www.horizonsfoundation.org/give/ways-to-give/now-and-forever-campaign/

Meeting Today’s Needs Throughout 2018, Horizons has played an active role in the resistance, including the following:

Funds at Horizons, the speakers at the historic resistance march came through loud and clear.

Community Issues Grants

The race to replace the late Mayor Ed Lee attracted candidates from across the political map. But what were their stances on the LGBTQ community and how did we, as a community, make sure our needs were heard and would remain in center focus of the candidates? Horizons, along with 2018 SF mayoral candidates at the Castro Theatre in March KQED, responded by producing a Candidate Forum for San Francisco mayor.

Women’s March 2018 When Horizons learned that the organizers of the 2018 Women’s March in San Francisco had not secured the funding for a sound system that would serve the expected huge crowd, Horizons stepped up. Thanks to holders of Donor-Advised

BRITTANY HOSEA-SMALL/KQED

AIREA Fund

Board Bootcamp 4

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The Asylee, Immigrant, and Refugee Emergency Action Fund (AIREA) was created by Horizons to support organizations working to resist current policies that are separating families and summarily turning back people escaping violence and persecution in their home countries.

LGBTQ Financial Planning Day Horizons believes that financial planning and fiscal responsibility should be available to anyone and so, in partnership with the LGBTQ Center, offered a free day of financial planning seminars, workshops and one-on-one meetings with professionals.

Attendees, including Bob the Drag Queen and activist Cleve Jones, attending the Horizons Night performance of Angels in America at Berkeley Rep

PHOTO COURTESY OF HORIZONS FOUNDATION

Candidate Forum 2018

42 nonprofits that serve the LGBTQ community across the Bay Area received direct funding from Horizons in 2018 as part of the organization’s annual Community Issues Grants. Other Horizons initiatives supported dozens more.

horizons foundation is our community’s lifeline

Horizons Honors Community Icons At Horizons’ Annual Gala on October 6, two individuals will be honored who have made incredible contributions to our community.

Gavin Grimm Receiving the Courage Award is transgender student rights act iv ist Gav in Grimm. As part of his medical treatment for severe gender dyspho ria, Gavin and his mother notified administrators of his male gender identity at the beginning of his sophomore year so that he could socially transition in all aspects of his life. With permission from school administrators, Gavin used the boys’ restroom for almost two months without any incident. But after receiving complaints from some parents and residents of Gloucester County, the school board adopted a new policy banning Gavin from using the boys’ restrooms.

The ACLU f iled a federal lawsuit on Gavin’s behalf. The lawsuit argued the bathroom policy as unconstitutional under the Fourteenth Amendment and violated Title IX of the U.S. Education Amendments of 1972, a federal law prohibiting sex discrimination by schools.

denied the school district’s request to dismiss the case, agreed with the ACLU that the school violated the rights of transgender students under Title IX and ordered a settlement conference. Gavin is now waiting to find out whether the school will try to appeal or settle the case.

The court denied the injunction, but was overturned by the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Fourth Circuit in 2016. The Supreme Court announced it would review the decision from the Fourth Circuit Court of Appeals and the case was set to be heard in March 2017. But on March 5, the Supreme Court announced that it was sending Gavin’s case back to the lower courts to be reconsidered in light of the Departments of Justice and Education rescinding of a Title IX guidance clarifying protections for transgender students.

Gavin is now a student at Berkeley College.

Gavin graduated in June 2017—still unable to use the same restroom as other boys. On May 22, 2018, the U.S. District Court for the Eastern District of Virginia

Jewelle Gomez Horizons’ Visionary Award recipient is Jewelle Gomez. A longtime San Francisco resident, Jewelle is the author of eight books including the double Lambda Literary Award-winning vampire novel, The Gilda Stories. She’s written for numerous publications including The New York Times, The San Francisco Chronicle, Ms. Magazine, Black Scholar, The Advocate and the San Francisco Bay Times. She was the recipient of a National Endowment on the Arts Fellowship and two California Arts Council Artist in Residence grants. In 2017, she received the Barbary Coast Trailblazer Award from LitQuake and was a

Horizons Foundation Grant Recipients

Ian Stanley Posadas and LGBTQ Connection Napa

Young Women’s Freedom Center

Old Lesbians Organizing for Change (OLOC)

Somos Familia Dia de Los Muertos Altar - Fruitvale

2018 Community Grand Marshal for San Francisco Pride.

Jewelle was on the founding boards of Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD), the Astraea Lesbian Foundation and the Open Meadows Foundation.

She was previously the Director of Grants at the San Francisco Arts Commission, the Director of Grants and Community Initiatives at Horizons Foundation, and she served as the Director of the Literature Program at the New York State Council on the Arts. She also served as Director of the Poetry Center and American Poetry Archives (SFSU), and was President of the San Francisco Public Library Commission.

She is currently Playwright in Residence at New Conservatory Theatre Center in San Francisco, which in 2011 premiered her play, Waiting for Giovanni, about James Baldwin. The play then had its New York City premier in 2018. Leaving the Blues, her play about singer/songwriter Alberta Hunter, premiered at NCTC in 2017. Her new play, Unpacking in Ptown, will open New Conservatory’s 40th anniversary season in 2021.

Photos courtesy of Horizons Foundation

Women’s Audio Mission Recording Studio

The Riot at Compton’s Cafeteria

Topsy Turvy Dance Company

Rainbow Community Center

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Young progressives are now often harshly critical of second wave feminism, but the women’s liberation movement that it helped to spearhead led to a critical turning point. Before 1975, the phrase “sexual harassment” was not part of common legal vocabulary. It was added to our terminology that year when a group of women at Cornell University used the phrase to describe what happened to former Cornell employee Carmita Dickerson Wood, who declared that she was sexually abused by her male supervisor. The already established feminists’ network allowed, and provided a safety net for, other women to share their own stories of abuse, with Hill and Blasey Ford being among the most prominent to do so in recent decades.

Anita Hill’s Testimony Hill—now a professor of social policy, law and women’s studies at Brandeis University, as well as a faculty member at the Heller School for Social Policy and Management—spoke out against then federal Circuit Judge Clarence Thomas after former President George Bush had nominated Thomas to the U.S. Supreme Court (SCOTUS). Hill said that Thomas had pursued her socially during her two years of employment as his assistant, and after she declined his requests, he used work situations to discuss sexual subjects, including “women having sex with animals and films showing group sex or rape scenes.” Thomas was nonetheless confirmed, and has been an Associate Justice of SCOTUS since October, 1991.

Via YouTube, we encourage you to watch Hill’s explosive opening statement during the hearing ( https://bit.ly/2ybJALY ) as well as Blasey Ford’s account of attempted rape by latest SCOTUS nominee Kavanaugh ( https://bit.ly/2IvSl8q ).

2. Reach out to others with love and empathy.

Both women have since become important role models for survivors of sexual abuse and other trauma, with many looking to them for strength and guidance.

6. Pause in peace by reading, doing yoga or engaging in other quiet activities that require mental focus.

Blasey Ford’s Research on Recovery After Trauma Members of our team were familiar with Blasey Ford’s work long before she rose to national prominence this year. A professor at Palo Alto University and a research psychologist at the Stanford University School of Medicine, she is a highly regarded biostatistician who specializes in the design and analysis of clinical trials and other forms of intervention evaluation.

Her work speaks to her past, with many projects addressing how to cope after trauma.

For example, she co-authored a paper in 2005, published in the journal Traumatolog y, on “posttraumatic growth following the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001.” As for numerous victims of sexual abuse, 9/11 sur v ivors exper ienced disturbed “psychological equanimity enough to prompt cognitive reorganization, but not enough to undermine or overwhelm the capacities to adapt.” In short, trauma—which she and her colleagues, citing other researchers, call a psychological seismic event— appears to necessitate reorganization of the victim’s thought processes over long periods, and perhaps for the rest of their lives.

Surprisingly, Blasey Ford and her team report that those who experience greater personal growth after trauma almost always undergo an initial period of denial, including avoidance of thinking at all about the disturbing episode. Perhaps this time allows for the aforementioned mental reorganization to occur. Survivors also work—often with mental health experts, friends and family—to gradually face the reality of what happened and to reframe it in a positive way. Blasey Ford and her colleagues quote another research team: “Cognitive coping strategies, such as focusing on the positive aspects of the situation in order to minimize its psychological significance, may enable some people to emphasize the benefits of life crises.”

Trauma Coping Strategies

A full page ad supporting Christine Blasey Ford was published in The New York Times issue dated Wednesday, September 26, 2018.

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It is hard to imagine anything positive coming out of a traumatic situation, but Blasey Ford and others indicate that beneficial reframing is possible. As journalist Caitlin Gallagher shared in a report earlier this year about the #MeToo movement, those who have survived, and even thrived, after sexual assault, suggest following these coping strategies: 1. Advocate for reform.

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3. Open up about your experience.

4. Find the words to tell your story.

5. Go to counseling.

SOURCE: PALOALTOONLINE.COM

If such women had dared to express their views in prior centuries in America, they likely would have been medicated, declared insane and placed in a mental institution for the rest of their lives. Oppression of women through the use of medicine and psychiatry— paralleling the historic usage of these tools against LGBT individuals—was common for centuries, and sadly still exists today throughout much of the world. The individuals who undergo this kind of treatment might even be considered the “lucky” ones, compared to the female Black slaves and poor domestic workers of all races who were regularly victims of sexual coercion during the 18th and 19th centuries.

Former classmates of Christine Blasey Ford from Holton-Arms School express their support at a rally in Washington, D.C.

7. Use the arts for expression.

8. Act “as if.” (A sexual assault victim, Lena, reports: “I learned how to act confidently, speak loudly, and laugh.

Those skills helped me build up incredible new connections with people.

Those connections, in turn, helped my mind heal. I faked it until I became it, and it worked.”)

The candlelight vigil held along El Camino Real near Palo Alto on Sunday, September 23

9. For some, prayer and faith help.

10. Aid others in need.

11. Speak out.

SOURCE: PALOALTOONLINE.COM

Emergence of the Phrase ‘Sexual Harassment’

SOURCE: ZIMBIO.COM

Just as Anita Hill’s testimony did in 1991, Christine Blasey Ford’s account last week of sexual harassment inflicted by Brett Kavanaugh and Mark Judge opened the deep wounds of assault survivors. The anger and pain were unmistakable in the voices of activists Ana Maria Archila and Maria Gallagher, two women who confronted Senator Jeff Flake (R-Arizona) in an elevator outside of his office.

Through tears Gallagher shouted, “I was sexually assaulted and nobody believed me. I didn’t tell anyone, and you’re telling all women that they don’t matter, that they should just stay quiet because if they tell you what happened to them you are going to ignore them. That’s what happened to me, and that’s what you are telling all women in America, that they don’t matter.”

PHOTO SOURCE: EVENINGSTANDARD.COM

Anita Hill and Christine Blasey Ford Share Advice on Surviving Trauma

12. Find purpose.

13. Meditate.

14. Stay active and social, such as by playing sports, taking dance classes or engaging in other favorite and beneficial group pastimes.

Regarding #9, Blasey Ford and her colleagues wrote that “posttraumatic growth is different from religious practice.” The former “involves an existential domain that is not limited to or coextensive with religion.” It could therefore be that social engagement, positive thinking, meditation and other beneficial aspects of certain religions are responsible for the healing that can occur after trauma.

Hill discusses many of the coping strategies in her book Speaking Truth to Power (Anchor Books, 1997). Although she agreed to write the book, Hill turned down several lucrative offers following the testimony. These included refusing for years to sell the movie rights to her story and refusing a number of television appearances.

In the book she writes, “The event known as the Hill-Thomas hearing has been described variously as a watershed in American politics, a turning point in the awareness of sexual harassment, and a wake-up call for women. For me it was a bane which I have worked hard to transform into a blessing for myself and for others. And because it brought to bear for the average public issues of sexual harassment, issues of race, gender, and politics, the hearing and all of the events that surrounded it deserve honest assessment.”

The book, which actually embodies several of the coping strategies, also includes this statement from Hill: “I write to offer my own perspective. I do this not simply to survive the tragedy but to transcend it.”

Hill and Blasey Ford Address LGBTQ Concerns It will come as no shock to members of the LGBTQ community to learn that Hill was called “a radical feminist, a lesbian, a sexual aggressor, or an incompetent teacher” by her detractors. Hill has never married, but a longtime companion has been businessman Chuck Malone. She remains

Hundreds of supporters stood on El Camino Real near Palo Alto on Sunday evening, September 23, to demonstrate solidarity with Christine Blasey Ford.

a strong ally of our community. As she said in a 2014 interview with BET, “Civil rights are not something that you can parse. You can’t say that you have partial civil rights. It has to be an inclusive idea.” (Listen to her full statement about LGBTQ rights here https://bet.us/2Rj8F0k ) Blasey Ford is also a strong ally of our community. With her colleagues, she has even researched anxiety and related disorders concerning concealment of LGBTQ identity among young adults. The results were published in a 2016 paper in the journal Behavior Therapy.

She and her co-authors call for an end to discrimination and stigma against LGBTQ people and support “establishing safe and open spaces in educational settings” for such youth. She and her team ask that clinicians consider “the unique contexts of sexual minority clients and consider culturally appropriate treatment approaches” for those suffering from anxiety disorders, depression, posttraumatic stress and more.

As an example, Blasey Ford and colleagues mention that “worries related to discrimination, such as loss of employment due to sexual orientation, may at first appear to be a cognitive distortion, but in fact it is possible to be legally fired for being gay in most of the 50 states.”

Note the way in which she and her coauthors phrase the following: “Sexual minorities face greater exposure to discrimination and rejection than heterosexuals. Given these threats, sexual minorities may engage in sexual orientation concealment in order to avoid danger. This social stigma and minority stress place sexual minorities at risk for anxiety and related disorders.”

Institutionalized Homophobia and Racism The identified problem then is not just staying in the proverbial closet, but rather the institutionalized homophobia that members of our community must often still face. Blasey Ford and her team shared at the time: “Only 17 states include sexual orientation and gender identity as protected classes in hate crimes legislation, and just 16 states prohibit discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity in educational settings.”

(Now just 20 states, plus the District of Columbia, Guam and Puerto Rico, have statutes that protect against both sexual orientation and gender identity discrimination in employment in the public and private sector.) In many of her talks and interviews, Hill discusses the related problem of endemic racism and how it can amplify challenges faced by LGBTQ people.

Both Hill and Blasey Ford have gone far beyond the platform of their respective Senate hearings to do what they can to improve “the system” as they exposed those whom they believe are not fit to serve on the bench of our nation’s highest court of law. They appear to be thoughtful individuals who have tremendous empathy for, and understanding of, those who have faced particularly serious challenges in their lives. We were all witness to their dignity, resolute calmness and composure in front of a global audience and while facing unimaginable scrutiny. Whatever happens next on the SCOTUS and political fronts, they provide hope that honesty, fairness and basic human decency will ultimately prevail. As Hill told Newsweek, “I can sleep at night knowing I told the truth ... . I’m not broken.”

The national sexual assault hotline RAINN has experienced an unprecedented number of calls since Blasey Ford’s testimony. For more information about RAINN, visit https://www.rainn.org/

Upcoming Event: Advocating for LGBTQ Seniors in the Master Plan for Aging in California In 2018, West Health and The SCAN Foundation launched the nonpartisan, nonprofit We Stand with Seniors ...

Will You? campaign to educate policymakers about the needs of California seniors. They completed a statewide voter survey that showed an overwhelming majority (84 percent) of California voters would be more likely to support a candidate for governor who has a vision and long-term master plan to address the state’s increasing need for senior services— and more than half (57 percent) would be willing to support a tax increase to fund it.

Since the launch of that campaign, both candidates for governor, businessman John Cox and Lieutenant Governor Gavin Newsom, have signed a pledge to #StandWithSeniors and support the development of a statewide plan to ensure seniors’ needs are met. Each candidate has committed themselves to creating and implementing a long-term solution that addresses the cost and delivery of healthcare, dental care, housing and supportive services that our seniors need to age safely and with dignity.

Openhouse is proud to partner with We Stand with Seniors to support the creation of a statewide master plan for aging. It is our goal to ensure that

the plan reflects the unique needs and strengths of LGBTQ seniors, and the multiple marginalized communities represented in the LGBTQ population.

Openhouse invites community members, senior service and housing providers, educators and researchers to join us for a panel discussion that brings together the advocacy for a statewide plan for aging with the LGBTQ community. The panel will include a review of the findings from the statewide voter survey commissioned by We Stand with Seniors, an overview of the unique needs of the LGBTQ senior population, next steps in the education campaign and development of a statewide plan, and how the plan will ref lect marginalized communities. There will be ample time for questions, comments and input from the community.

Speakers will include: Dr. Marcy Adelman, Openhouse Founder; California Commission on Aging

Cecilia Chung, Senior Director of Strategic Projects, Transgender Law Center Bill Earley, Chief Operating Officer and General Counsel, West Health; California Commission on Aging Tom Nolan, Manager- Special Projects, San Francisco Department of Adult and Aging Services Dr. Karyn Skultety, Executive Director, Openhouse Sarah Steenhausen, M.S., Senior Policy Advisor, The SCAN Foundation Senator Scott Wiener, California State Senate The event Advocating for LGBTQ Seniors in the Master Plan for Aging in California, hosted by We Stand with Seniors and Openhouse, will be held on October 11 from 9–11 am at the SF LGBT Center (1800 Market Street). Register at http://bit.ly/rsvp-panel-event

Dr. Marcy Adelman oversees the Aging in Community column. For her summary of current LGBT senior challenges and opportunities, please go to: http://sf baytimes.com/challenges-and-opportunties/

Alegre Home Care is proud to support Dr. Marcy Adelman’s Aging in Community column in the San Francisco Bay Times.

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An October Surprise We Shall Never Forget matically upset and upended by the sexual harassment charges by Anita Hill, have we witnessed and experienced another such traumatic fallout as that surrounding the rush to confirm President Trump’s nominee, Brett Kavanaugh.

Cross Currents Andrea Shorter The first Monday in October denotes the opening of the new session of the U.S. Supreme Court. By statute and tradition, SCOTUS has commenced its yearlong session for the past 100 years of the High Court. The High Court was f irst convened in 1790.

Since SCOTUS was established in 1789, 113 persons have served on the court.

In 1967, as an African American, Thurgood Marshall would become the first of three eventual Associate Justices of color to serve on the high court. Clarence Thomas and Sonia Sotomayor are currently the only other persons of color confirmed as Associate Justices. Sandra Day O’Connor became the first of four women to be nominated and confirmed as an Associate Justice in 1981 before the eventual confirmations of Ruth Bader Ginsberg, Sonia Sotomayor and Elena Kagan as Associate Justices. President Barack Obama has the distinction of appointing two (half ) of the four of this small sorority.

Not since the Senate hearings to confirm Clarence Thomas were so dra-

The charges of sexual assault and m isconduct aga inst K avanaugh brought forth by Dr. Christine Blasey Ford—and similarly by two other women—rocked what was to have been a relatively smooth sail for Judge Kavanaugh through the Republican majority led process. The revelation that the Judge was apparently a beer soaked, inebriated prep school frat bro mess of a mean drunk who forced himself on, or exposed his genitals to, girls at house parties and gatherings, completely shattered the choir boy Astudent all the way through Yale Law School image that he wanted us all to believe.

Dr. Ford’s highly believable and credible testimony before the Senate Judiciary Committee provided an astounding contrast to the temperamental, ballistic refute of the charges by an evasive, yet seemingly entitled, Kavanaugh. The drama catapulted the already high stakes political theater of it all into a profoundly deeper, darker space. This was a sight we collectively cannot unsee. It was like looking directly at the sun in an eclipse at risk of permanent retinal damage or at worse blindness. It is now an indelible memory and injury to the psyche not unlike the trauma described by assault survivors. Whatever your interpretation is of this event, it will not be forgotten, and will be prone to affect us in injurious ways long beyond the immediate sensationalism of this moment.

The symmetries to the Clarence Thomas hearings of 27 years ago are painfully obvious. With nearly the exact same cast of the all-white male Republican bench on the Senate Judiciary Committee as was there in 1991, the issues played out with regard to gender, male privilege, and partisan power will continue to be discussed, debated and activated towards referendum into the immediacy of the fast approaching mid-term elections and for years to come.

Perhaps the only lessons learned by the Republicans since Anita Hill’s serious allegations and testimony before the committee were: 1) hire and try to hide behind the skirts of a woman prosecutor to question the woman making sexual misconduct charges against the nominee to obscure the optics that you are still an allwhite male panel of Republicans on the Senate Judiciary Committee; 2) fire the woman prosecutor during the hearings when she asks questions that cause the nominee to have a temperamental meltdown when faced with simple yes or no facts about the matter; and 3) allow Lindsay Graham to let loose in a shameless tirade against Democrats for an on air audition for Trump to maybe replace a beleaguered Jeff Sessions as U.S. Attorney General.

The events of 1991 spurred the 1992 Year of the Woman, Elect Women for a Change movement that brought Dianne Feinstein and Barbara Boxer among a historic score of women to the U.S. Senate. 1992 was the predecessor to the 2016 post-election galvanization of now thousands of women running for local, state and federal offices in this #MeToo era. Additionally, there are way more LGBT people of color and immigrant candidates

running for office than in 1992. The chances of more diverse representation in elected offices across the country have exponentially increased in the last 2 years alone—Trump’s base’s greatest fears are coming true.

Still, for all of the charges by the Republicans against the Democrats for politicizing this particular nomination pertaining to the timing of releasing the initial confidentially-held allegations by Dr. Ford, the fact remains that this particular nomination was clearly and dangerously politicized well before Dr. Ford came onto the scene.

Lest we forget: Trump selected Kavanaugh as his nominee to replace Justice Kennedy primarily for a singular, self-serving interest: protection against indictment while President.

Remember, Kavanaugh was nowhere near the Federalist Society approved short list of candidates submitted for consideration. Those now nameless others met the right-wing prerequisites to handily carry the water on any such potential, bothersome rulings concerning reproductive rights, LGBT rights, immigration, environmental protections, etc. It was Kavanaugh’s expressed opinions relative to the constitutional right to indict a sitting President that caused his ascension as the chosen one above the select list, cementing him as Trump’s choice for the Supreme Court.

The probability of Kavanaugh infecting the high court with his curious opinion on the matter of indictment of a sitting President might be slim to none. If you are the only sitting President in U.S. history beset by the apocalyptic legal and ethical challenges facing this President—yes, worse than Nixon—it’s a risk worth

taking to nominate the one guy who could at least make the case to save your behind.

Trump could care less about the implications of his choice for the Supreme Court into the next three to four decades. Trump’s sights are set on whatever piece of raft that might help save him from drowning in deepening waters above his coifed head now.

Furthermore, a Kavanaugh confirmation delivered by an all too eager GOP fearful of mid-term loss of majority rule in the Congress would help seal the deal for a Trump domination of all three branches of government.

I believe Dr. Ford. We can never thank her enough for her courage to step forward into the harsh, glaring, and cruel spotlight to do her civic duty to inform us of her assault at the hands of Brett Kavanaugh. We’ve now seen with our very own eyes the lack of temperament, character and ability to tell the truth exhibited by nominee Kavanaugh. And, this was while he was sober.

What we can do is honor the preferred character, temperament, and truthtelling bravely exhibited by Dr. Ford by sending the lot of the Trump-GOP packing on November 6, 2018.

Andrea Shorter is a Commissioner and the former President of the historic San Francisco Commission on the Status of Women. She is a longtime advocate for criminal and juvenile justice reform, voter rights, and marriage equality. A Co-founder of the Bayard Rustin LGBT Coalition, she was a 2009 David Bohnett LGBT Leadership Fellow at the Harvard Kennedy School of Government.

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how many people they can serve, working with limited resources.

Assemblymember Phil Ting It’s a simple concept. If chronically ill people eat a nutritious, healthy diet, they will need fewer medications and hopefully fewer hospitalizations. By reducing these expenses, we can reduce health care costs and the patient load on our health care system.

It’s called “food is medicine,” and it’s gaining popularity across the country. One of the concept’s early adopters in the 1980s was Project Open Hand here in San Francisco; they started serving and delivering medically tailored meals to those battling HIV. Eventually, they expanded to people dealing with other conditions, such as diabetes, cancer and heart disease.

Late last year, as part of our annual staff retreat, I brought my entire staff—District, Capitol and Budget Committee—to Project Open Hand’s Polk Street headquarters.

On our tour, we checked out their indoor greenhouse and learned about their on-site grocery pickup and nutrition counseling programs.

We then rolled up our sleeves and packed hundreds of meals that went out to clients. It was truly inspiring to see just how much they do and

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In early 2017, the results of their “Food = Medicine” nutrition study, done in collaboration with UC San Francisco, were released and were unequivocally clear that this program works. As the Chair of the Assembly Budget Committee, I took notice and included $6 million in our state’s budget for a three-year pilot program to provide medically tailored meals to Medi-Cal patients suf fering from congestive heart failure, cancer, diabetes, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD) and kidney disease. Each program participant receives three meals a day for a period of three to six months.

After the pilot program in San Francisco, Alameda, Los Angeles, Marin, San Diego, San Mateo, Santa Clara and Sonoma Counties is complete, the state’s Department of Health Care Services will gauge its efficacy through data gleaned from MediCal. They will be looking at possible reductions in hospital readmissions, emergency room visits and admissions to long-term care facilities. By January of 2021, I, along with my col lea g ues i n the Legislature, w ill receive a report detailing the results of the prog r a m. We can then have the discussion as to whether or not future budgets will include funding for such programs.

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lar laws have been passed in neighboring jurisdictions, and speak to the need to implement measures to protect all people and species from the consequences of abrupt climate change.

Previous legislation that I authored and passed in 2015, Assembly Bill (AB) 1321, scales up the Market Match program throughout the state. Established in 2009, Market Match offers additional incentives for consumers to purchase fresh California-grown fruits, nuts and vegetables by matching the value of nutrition benefits like CalFresh and WIC. Through these programs, your state government is making our population healthier and lowering health care costs.

Out of the Closet and into City Hall Oakland City Councilmember At-Large, Rebecca Kaplan In California, this year alone, a total of 6,568 fires burned an area of 1,502,293 acres, according to the California Department of Forestry and Fire Protection and the National Interagency Fire Center. Experts have said that rising temperatures linked to global warming are making the fires more extreme—larger, more dangerous and more expensive to fight.

These fires have had a devastating impact on California residents, our economy and society at large. People have lost their lives, homes and livelihoods, and many will be rebuilding for years to come.

Phil Ting represents the 19th Assembly District, which includes the Westside of San Francisco along with the communities of Broadmoor, Colma and Daly City.

For those of us who may not Assemblymember Phil Ting and staff members toured and volunteered at be dealing with Project Open Hand’s headquarters on their annual staff retreat in 2017.

SA N FRANCISCO BAY T I ME S

Oakland Legislation Would Combat Climate Change, Promote Equitable Economy

chronic health conditions, healthy eating is still essential. That is why I have advocated for increased access to fresh fruits and vegetables for all, including at farmers’ markets. Not only do these markets sell fresh, California-grown produce from small producers, but they also act as activity hubs for the neighborhood, bringing neighbors together.

PHOTO COURTESY PHIL TING.

Food Is Medicine, Food Is Love

As a society, we must take measures to help stop and repair the damage done to our environment, to safeguard our home for future generations. In Oakland, I am partnering with environmental organizations to introduce legislation declaring a climate emergency and requesting regional collaboration on an emergency mobilization effort to restore a safe climate. Simi-

Our Resolution calls on the City of Oakland to reduce citywide greenhouse gas emissions as quickly as possible towards zero net emissions, immediately initiate an effort to safely draw down carbon from the atmosphere, and accelerate adaptation and resilience strategies in preparation for intensifying climate impacts.

Now more than ever, we as leaders and civic participants must understand the importance of environmental health, and evaluate whether the decisions we make today will benefit future generations. In this time of ecological crisis, let us learn from the mistakes of our past, so that our children may breathe fresh air, drink clean water and participate in an economy that is ecologically sustainable, equitable and just.

Councilmember At-Large Rebecca Kaplan was elected in 2008 to serve as Oakland’s citywide Councilmember; she was re-elected in 2016. She also serves on the Alameda County Transportation Commission (ACTC).

Follow Councilmember Kaplan on Twitter @Kaplan4Oakland ( https://bit.ly/2OxFLer ) and Facebook ( https://bit.ly/2Qm2Qhk ).

Business Tips from GGBA

Marketing Ecosystem: A Crash Course By Kristin Mehiel For example, invest in a booth display at an industry trade show and hand out a one-pager that discusses your company’s products or services. Measure how many people stopped by your booth and signed up for your email newsletter, then determine how many of those first contacts turned into legitimate leads, and ultimately, customers or clients. If you find that this didn’t yield the leads you expected, next time put more effort and budget into hosting an educational seminar to gain close access to those who are already initially interested in your company’s services.

Investing in an effective lead generation program is pivotal to organizations, both big and small. Establishing an official lead generation plan will astronomically boost sales and, ultimately, your bottom line. Simultaneously, your sales team will maintain a laser focus as they work through a consistent lead development system.

The cornerstone of a lead generation strategy is gaining a solid understanding of the marketing ecosystem. A truly successful marketing strategy fires on all components of the ecosystem to generate leads from all six channels, which are: Digital Marketing, Content Marketing, PR & Branding, Events, Demand Generation and Social Media.

Bottom Line

Kristin Mehiel

Lead generation comes from a variety of marketing channels. Develop a plan and tactics under each of the six components, then measure the tactics and refine the plan based on your results.

Expect to continually refine your tactics to increase your bottom line.

Once you are firing on all components, it is essential to measure which channels are yielding the most qualified leads for your sales team and organization. Then, it’s a matter of “wash, rinse, repeat, and refine.”

Kristin Mehiel is a relationship builder, lead generation master and fearless motivator at Collaboration business consulting: https://collaboration-llc.com/

GGBA Membership

GGBA CALENDAR

Membership Has Its Benefits!

October Make Contact Tuesday, October 9 6 pm to 8 pm Perform 4 Life 61 Gough Street, San Francisco For more information: https://ggba.com/

The Golden Gate Business Association (GGBA) is the world’s first LGBTQ Chamber of Commerce, and is now one of 65 around the globe advocating for positive economic, social and political change for LGBTQ businesses to prosper, create jobs and to have economic equality.

Our mission is to champion opportunity, development and advocacy for our LGBTQ & Allied business community.

We empower our small business entrepreneurs and professionals by creating opportunities for marketing, networking, procurement and referral-based business growth. We also collaborate with other non-profits and engage with business and civic leaders to support policies that foster a more inclusive and welcoming business community, thus creating greater opportunities for our member businesses.

Stand Up & Speak OUT! Bi-Weekly Workshop on how to be a more effective Speaker and Communicator Featuring National Award-Winning Speaker, Gina Grahame Wednesday, October 17 3 pm to 5 pm Offices of the U.S. Small Business Administration 455 Market Street, 6th Floor, San Francisco Register at https://ggba.com/

GGBA’s Paul Pendergast discusssed GAP Founder Don Fisher’s pro-LGBT views.

GGBA’s Board of Directors members on hand at the Annual Meeting

PHOTO BY RINK

Remy Fisher, founder Don Fisher’s granddaughter, received an award from Paul Pendergast.

PHOTO BY RINK

Displays at the GGBA Election Meeting at the GAP Headquarters

PHOTO BY RINK

Aaron Lander and Jan Brown

PHOTO BY PAUL MARGOLIS

Newly elected board member Tony Archuleta-Perkins, founder of the Elcat Group, welcomes attendees to the GGBA Annual Meeting on September 14.

8th Annual California Cable Diversity Expo This one-on-one matchmaking event connects Minority, Women, LGBT, Service Disabled Veteran and Disability-Owned businesses with potential procurement opportunities with Charter Communications, Comcast and Cox Communications.

Friday, November 2 8:30 am to 2:30 pm The Westin South Coast Plaza Costa Mesa 686 Anton Boulevard, Costa Mesa For information, e-mail: CAdiversityplanning@aplusmeetings.com

PHOTO BY RINK

PHOTO BY PAUL MARGOLIS

GGBA Annual Meeting 2018 Held at Gap Inc.

GGBA members attending the organization’s Annual Meeting held at GAP headquarters

GGBA president Dawn Ackerman with United Nations Equal Campaign’s Rikke Elisabeth Hennum (center) with Paul Pendergast, Audry deLucia and other honorees and supporters S AN F R ANC IS C O BAY T IM ES

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PHOTO BY RINK

See GGBA online ( https://ggba.com/ ) for more details.

PHOTO BY RINK

If you are an LGBTQ or Allied business person looking for a place to make sincere connections that can lead to greater success and a sense of community, the GGBA is the place for you. We encourage you to visit our next event to see for yourself.

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Victims, Survivors, Victors stories are enough to dissuade too many people from identifying themselves as victims.

Roland Schembari and Bill Hartman, Co-Founders Randy Alfred, Founding News Editor 1978 Kim Corsaro Publisher 1981-2011

2261 Market Street, No. 309 San Francisco CA 94114 Phone: 415-601-2113 525 Bellevue Avenue Oakland CA 94610

The Bay Times was the first newspaper in California, and among the first in the world, to be jointly and equally produced by lesbians and gay men.

We honor our history and the paper’s ability to build and strengthen unity in our community.

The Bay Times is proud to be the only newspaper for the LGBT community in San Francisco that is 100% owned and operated by LGBT individuals.

Dr. Betty L. Sullivan Jennifer L. Viegas Co-Publishers & Co-Editors

Beth Greene Michael Delgado Abby Zimberg Design & Production

Kate Laws Business Manager Blake Dillon Calendar Editor

Kit Kennedy

Poet-In-Residence

J.H. Herren Technology Director Carla Ramos Web Coordinator Mario Ordonez Juan Ordonez

Examined Life Tom Moon, MFT In order to make sense of our lives, we humans tell ourselves stories that provide a sense of the context and meaning of our experiences. Labels are the short-hand terms we use to refer to our stories. We refer to people as “victims,” for instance, when other people have harmed them, but the term conveys other meanings as well—that what they experienced was unjust, for instance; that it was a violation, that it was injurious and that they deserve both justice and compassion.

Unfortunately, for some, the term “victim” also carries contemptuous stories about the victim, as well— that victims are dupes and losers; that they’re weak and full of self-pity, that people who call themselves victims are just “whiners,” and so on. These

try are covered with these magnificent photos and mannequins displaying recycled decorated gowns. But don’t stop there! Continue down the hall and into the main room to witness a bazillion more photos of V. by Johnstone, dresses made of trash and original acrylic cartoons painted by Faulk. So queer! So overwhelming!

So go check it out at 50 Scott Street!

CONTRIBUTORS

Photographers Rink, Phyllis Costa, Jane Higgins Paul Margolis, Chloe Jackman, Bill Wilson, Jo-Lynn Otto, Sandy Morris, Abby Zimberg, Morgan Shidler, JP Lor ADVERTISING Display Advertising Standard Rate Cards http://sfbaytimes.com/ or 415-503-1375 Custom ad sizes are available. Ads are reviewed by the publishers.

National Advertising: Contact Bay Times / San Francisco.

Represented by Rivendell Media: 908-232-2021 Circulation is verified by an independent agency Reprints by permission only.

CALENDAR Submit events for consideration by e-mail to: calendar@sfbaytimes.com © 2018 Bay Times Media Company Co-owned by Betty L. Sullivan & Jennifer L. Viegas

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Having said that, when real experiences of victimization congeal into a solid and global identity of Victim with a capital V, an opposite problem can result—not disavowing our vulnerability, but instead denying our power and agency. If I believe that I am “the one who will always be hurt and taken advantage of,” then I can start to see those around me as perpetrators no matter how they actually treat me.

It is in the last two phases of trauma recovery that some people begin to feel that the label of “victim” no longer ref lects their lived experience, and begin to prefer the label of “survivor” instead. This change ref lects a new story about the experience— that “I’ve had this trauma, but it no longer has me.” The survivor story emphasizes strength, growth and empowerment.

This is the same power that Nelson Mandela found after enduring twenty-seven years in prison. He said, “As I walked out the door to the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn’t leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I’d still be in prison.”

His victory over victimization manifested in his personal and political commitment to healing, forgiveness and reconciliation. The victors among us are our spiritual heroes.

They inspire us to have faith in the story that we are not defined by our adversity and our suffering, but that, even in the midst of our personal winters, we too have within us an invincible summer.

Tom Moon is a psychotherapist in San Francisco. For more information, please visit his website http:// tommoon.net/

Sister Dana Sez: Words of Wisdumb from a Fun Nun

Distribution

Writers Rink, Sister Dana Van Iquity, Ann Rostow, Patrick Carney, Kate Kendell, Alex Randolph, Heidi Beeler, Gary M. Kramer, Dennis McMillan, Tom Moon, Tim Seelig, Cinder Ernst, John Chen Rafael Mandelman, Jewelle Gomez, Phil Ting, Rebecca Kaplan, Kin Folkz, Leslie Katz, Philip Ruth, Peter Gallotta, Bill Lipsky, Karen Williams, Donna Sachet, Gary Virginia, Zoe Dunning, Marcy Adelman, Stuart Gaffney & John Lewis Brandon Miller, Jamie Leno Zimron Michele Karlsberg Lyndsey Schlax, Randy Coleman, Debra Walker, Howard Steiermann, Andrea Shorter, Scott Tsui, Tom Temprano, Lou Fischer, Frankie Bashan, Karin Jaffie, Brett Andrews

All human beings, without exception, can be overpowered, terrorized, wounded and deeply hurt by others, and the damaging effects of victimizing experiences can last a lifetime.

The truth of our vulnerability can be a terrifying reality to take in, but until we can accept this aspect of our humanity, it is difficult to recover from the shame and guilt that victimizing experiences often tragically engender.

According to trauma specialist Mardi Horowitz, there are five distinct phases of recovery from severely victimizing experiences. The first is a period of stunned confusion that he calls “outcry.” This is typically followed by a self-protective phase that he calls “numbness and denial.” At some point, the pendulum swings from numbing to “intrusive re-experiencing,” which leads to “working through,” and finally to “completion.”

A remarkable few are able to move from the story of the “survivor,” to the story of the “victor.” This story is about the human capacity for selfdetermination. It was this power that Viktor Frankl found in Auschwitz, where he discovered that, even in the midst of that hell, “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

By Sister Dana Van Iquity Sister Dana sez, “What’s all this fuss about the latest Batman DC comic adult edition and Batman’s big ‘batpole’?!”

VERASPHERE: 25 YEARS of LOVE, ART, JOY was on Friday, September 21, at Harvey Milk Photo Center, 50 Scott Street. The OPENING RECEPTION celebrated the collaborative partners› works of photography, costumes and paintings by artists David Faulk ("Mrs. Vera") and Michael Johnstone (aka Mr. Tina back in the day). The exhibition, continuing for several months, featured the "Mrs. Vera’s Daybook" series of photographs taken by Johnstone, examining everyday life, alienation, magic and long-term survival; acrylic paintings

by Faulk; and elaborate costumes made with recycled items and images of the Verasphere Group, an ever-expanding bunch that marches at Pride in SF. Sponsored by San Francisco Recreation & Parks, Harvey Milk Photo Center Curator: Dave Christensen, and Special Sponsor: Art Saves Lives, Thomasina DeMaio. This was Thomasina’s first big party since she had to close down the 518 Castro Street venue. This show was supposed to hang for the entire month of August at the AHF Art Saves Lives location.

Now David Christensen has taken the Verasphere show in, and it has provided more fun, art and surprises than ever! Some of my fave photos: “57: Christina’s World,” where Mrs. Vera looks like a deer trapped in headlights; “54: Thud!” as we feel her pain having fallen from high above and shown splayed out on the ground; and “56: Elizabeth Bay, Sydney” with the Mrs. V. typical look of disdain. All four walls of the enO C TO B E R 4 , 2 0 1 8

CELEBRITY CRUISES presented SOIREE ON THE BAY and celebrated Love + Diversity onboard “Celebrity Solstice,” Pier 27, San Francisco, on September 17. This was a festive onboard party while docked in San Francisco featuring full hosted bar and appetizers, benefiting THE RICHMOND/ ERMET AID FOUNDATION (REAF) with a lovely champagne greeting upon boarding (after passing many security checks and finding no terrorists aboard). We started out poolside enjoying music as a mermaid swam sensuously in the pool.

Then a guy in a bubble “walked across the water” to entertain us. We then entered the big lounge room to delight in special amusement by performers from the ship’s regular entertainers plus cast members from the touring cast of The Phantom of the Opera and special guest emcees: Fernando & Greg of 99.7NOW radio. Acrobats defied gravity. Tours of the ship were available throughout the evening, as was lively music and dynamic dancing. Both the SAN FRANCISCO GAY MEN’S CHORUS and SAN FRANCISCO BAY TIMES celebrated their 40th anniversaries on the ship. Both received Certificates of Recognition from the San Francisco Board of Supervisors, Senator Scott Wiener, and Senator Kamala Harris.

Donna Sachet & Gary Virginia presented the honor to Bay Times publishers Betty Sullivan and Jennifer Viegas. More fabulous entertainment ensued with Phantom and shipboard singers and dancers.

Especially standout was their version of “On Broadway.” And they topped it all off with “The Dawning of Aquarius” from HAIR, where we all gleefully sang along and became hippies again. Their grand finale was “This Is Me” from the movie, The Greatest Showman. "Celebrity

Solstice" truly provided The Greatest Anniversaries!

Sister Dana sez, “Please join with me in shouting loudly: ‘We believe you, Dr. Christine Ford, Deborah Ramirez, and Julie Swetnick!’ Kava-nope!”

Meanwhile hundreds of women and men held protests against Kavanaugh outside SF City Hall, among similar demonstrations nationwide.

Most memorable chant was, “November Is Coming!” as a warning regarding mid-term voters’ revenge.

All this outcry has led to the demand for the now ongoing FBI re-investigation. The people WILL be heard!

Just as Kavanaugh’s preposterous, peeved, petulant attitude was heard at his hearing.

THE RICHMOND/ERMET AID FOUNDATION (REAF) presented One Night Only Benefit Cabaret with the touring casts of THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA and ON YOUR FEET (the Gloria and Emilio Estafan story)—an evening of music, dance & comedy on September 24 at Marines’ Memorial Theater. These onenight cabaret fundraisers, produced

by REAF directors Ken Henderson & Joe Seiler, benefit BROADWAY CARES/EQUITY FIGHTS AIDS and THE RICHMOND/ ERMET AID FOUNDATION OF SAN FRANCISCO. REAF’s founders, the late Barbara Richmond and Peggy Ermet, envisioned a world without AIDS when they created this agency. REAF’s focus has always been, and continues to be, to support AIDS services until there is a cure. With recent advancements in HIV treatments and promising research for a cure, however, REAF has expanded their focus areas of what they support, including supporting programs that provide food for the needy and programs that help homeless and disenfranchised youth, as well as continued funding for HIV programs in the SF Bay Area. Beneficiaries for their 2018 events to date include MEALS ON WHEELS of San Francisco, Broadway Cares/ Equity Fights AIDS, POSITIVE RESOURCE CENTER and AIDS LEGAL REFERRAL PANEL.

The show opened with “Everything’s Coming Up Roses” from Gypsy by Constantine Pappas of The Phantom of the Opera. Highlights of Act I from Phantom cast and crew included Cathy Venable singing a female gender-bending “C’est Moi” from Camelot; Adrian Moorefield and his gorgeous baritone of “Home” from The Wiz; the hilarious male gender-bending of “The Schuler Sisters” from Hamilton with Adam Bashian, Moorefield, Pappas, and Tynan Davis as the “sisters.” Again with the gender reversal, we had a stunning soprano Sarah Mossman singing her love for “Maria” from West Side Story. And ending Act I with a rock-the-house version of Wanted Dead or Alive by Carmen Vass dressed so apropos as a sexy blonde rocker chick in black corset, black leather pants and black hooker heels.

OMG, she rocked the joint!

For his final auctioneering gig in EssEff (Lenny Broberg told me he was moving to Palm Springs, or “God’s waiting room,” as he joked), the man raised a ton of money for the fundraiser. Highlights of Act Two (all from the cast and crew of On Your Feet) included little Carlos Carreras in a touching “Lost Boy” from Finding Neverland; Marina Pires & Nancy Ticotin as Maria and Anita doing an emotional duet of “A Boy Like That” from West Side Story; Claudia Mulet with a heartwrenching “Who Can I Turn To”; and the exciting power ballad of Heart’s “Alone” by Anthony Alfaro & Jonathan Arana. For the (continued on page 28)

PHOTO BY PAUL MARGOLIS

E-mail: editor@sfbaytimes.com www.sfbaytimes.com

But since assault, rape, betrayal, theft, abandonment and more really are victimizing experiences, authentic healing only begins when these experiences are recognized for what they are. It can require great courage to acknowledge that you were victimized, because it means overcoming the fear of being stigmatized, and also accepting the reality, not that we’re “weak,” but that we’re vulnerable.

If I do that, I become dangerous to others, because I’m liable to “perpetrate from the victim stance,” that is, to mistreat others without feeling any shame or guilt because my story is that I am always an innocent person who is only defending myself. One of the most famous historical examples of this dangerous psychology was Adolf Hitler, who avenged himself on millions for the (very real) abuse he suffered as a child.

Dennis McMillan (aka Sister Dana) with Juanita MORE! at Juanita’s Birthday Party held on Tuesday, September 4, at MORE!Jones restaurant.

GLBT Fortnight in Review

By Ann Rostow

Slouching Towards SCOTUS Before we start, may I apologize for once writing that Brett Kavanaugh was likely a better High Court nominee than the others on Trump’s short list? This complacent calculus was based on the assumption that Kavanaugh was your run-of-the-mill fifty-something preppy ivy league white guy, with a loyal wife, cute kids and a résumé to beat the band. Same old, same old. Conservative, of course, yet maybe not as ideologically compromised as some of the others.

But a belligerent psycho misogynist?

Who knew!

This lunatic shouldn’t come within spitting distance of the High Court.

And what has happened to Lindsay Graham in the last year? Once a hawkish conservative with some bipartisan instincts, he has morphed into a grotesque Trump sycophant and the personification of meanness.

I hate him.

Meanwhile, the 2018/2019 Supreme Court session is officially underway, and several gay cases are simmering on the middle burner, not on the calendar, but soon to be under consideration. For example, we have three petitions presenting the question of whether gay and/or trans bias is inherently illegal under federal laws that ban discrimination “because of sex.”

To sidetrack, did you realize that sexual harassment on the job was never outlawed by Congress or anyone else? Instead, the law against workplace discrimination because of sex (Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964) was eventually interpreted to encompass sexual harassment. This wasn’t obvious. For a long time, male judges insisted that sex discrimination meant, let’s say, not hiring women, or firing someone because of her sex. But as for the boss chasing his secretary around the desk? That was just the birds and the bees. Nothing that the law could touch!

Eventually, courts thought harder and recognized that demands for sex were a form of discrimination, and further, that a hostile environment based on harassment was another form of discrimination. Courts have also determined that forcing men and women to behave a certain way on the job can constitute gender stereotyping and is yet another type of sex discrimination. Under this theory, many courts have ruled in favor of transgender workplace plaintiffs, or effeminate men, or masculine women, or anyone who is hounded out of a job for not meeting gender expectations.

It is time, our lawyers argue, that Title VII, and other federal laws that cover sex discrimination, ref lect the fact that a bias claim leveled by a gay man or woman (regardless of their gender presentation) is just as much a case of sex discrimination as any of the other definitions that the courts have thoughtfully embraced over the years.

We have been making terrific progress towards winning acceptance in the courts, where we have the hard job of reversing antigay 20th century precedents in the appellate courts.

Already, the U.S. Court of Appeal for the Seventh Circuit met en banc (as a full court) to reverse its old antigay case law, as did the Second Circuit.

The seventh circuit case has settled, but the second circuit case has been appealed to the Supremes by the employers of a dead gay skydiving instructor (Zarda!).

We also have a three-judge loss at the Eleventh Circuit, where the judges declined to hear our appeal en banc, and where we appealed to the High Court. Finally, we have a transgender Title VII victory from the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Sixth Circuit

that has been appealed by the peanut brittles at the Alliance Defending Freedom.

In addition to these three Title VII petitions, we’ve got lower court cases on the transgender military ban, the nay-gay-saying florist from Washington, and let’s assume a few more martyrs to religious freedom waiting in the wings.

Our only hopes for a positive outcome? Maybe Kavanaugh is defeated and his replacement is secretly pro-gay. Maybe John Roberts will have a change of heart on gay issues.

Maybe one of our adversaries on the Court will retire at the end of 2020, and none of these cases will reach the High Court docket until a Democratic administration in 2021. Maybe the Democrats win the Senate and keep the seat open for the next two years.

Maybe a unicorn will fly to the moon.

Sigh I know I must be missing something, but I can’t quite grasp the GLBT community furor over a recent decision to stop issuing G-4 diplomatic visas to the domestic partners of gay officials. The Trump administration just announced that gay foreigners living here under these visas will have to marry their partners in order to remain in the U.S. as a couple. Keep in mind that heterosexual diplomats and UN workers must also be married in order to get a G-4 visa, and they are also not allowed to bring domestic partners into the country.

At first, I thought that there should be some kind of exception for people who cannot legally marry in their home countries. However, the U.S. says that an American marriage will suffice, as will a marriage from any other country, one assumes. In other words, you don’t have to be recognized as married in your home town.

I then read complaints from our side that some people cannot marry because being gay is a crime in their home country. But surely a domestic partnership would then be a crime as well, and acquiring a G-4 visa on your partner’s behalf would herald your sexual orientation to the authorities just as loudly as a marriage license.

If you’re out enough to get a G-4 visa for your partner, you’re out enough to get married somewhere. If you don’t want to get married, that’s a different issue, but it’s one that applies equally to gay and straight personnel.

All that being said, I don’t like the change. We are constantly hit with antigay policies from this administration that fall out of the sky in different sizes—a baseball here, a marble there, a piece of foam drifting to the ground, a refrigerator-sized chunk of steel smashing to Earth. They are all insidious. Here, for the record, is the reaction of the DNC’s LGBTQ Media Director, Lucas Acosta: “The policy of granting visas to the same-sex domestic partners of foreign diplomats helped make the U.S. a leader for LGBTQ rights and freedoms. Now the Trump administration is doing everything in its power to roll back progress and make it harder for LGBTQ people to serve their countries. With same-sex marriage legal in only about 10 percent of UN member countries, LGBTQ diplomats could be forced to leave their posts or their partners. Instead of providing moral leadership on LGBTQ rights and freedoms, the Trump administration is essentially subjecting diplomats to the same discriminatory, anti-LGBTQ policies that they face in their own countries. The Trump administration must reverse this discriminatory action.”

That visa policy, by the way, began under Hillary Clinton in 2009, at a time when same-sex marriage was (continued on page 28) S AN F R ANC IS C O BAY T IM ES

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The Roast of Donna Sachet With Roast Master Bruce Vilanch leading the way, Heklina, Sister Roma, Cleve Jones, Lenny Broberg, the Hon. Mark Leno, Jai Rodriquez, Sharon McNight and Queen Mother I Nicole the Great roasted another all time great: legend in her own lifetime Donna Sachet! Members of the San Francisco Gay Men’s Choir (where Donna was born) performed. Donna’s brother, Adam Reeves, made a surprise appearance—telling stories and presenting the unforgettable image of Baby Donna. Produced by Peaches Christ Productions and Oasis, the event benefited the GLBT Historical Society.

Folsom Street Fair Brunch Tom Taylor and Jerr y Goldstein w ith Donna Sachet hosted a brunch on Sunday, September 30, at the warehouse that was the site of rainbow f lag creator Gilbert Baker’s original workshop where work stations, materials and equipment are still on display. Thanks to Paul Margolis and Donna’s f r iend s for pr ov id i n g images from the Brunch a nd t he 2018 Fol som Street Fair as well.

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Photos by Friends of Donna In the words of Sister Roma: “Everyone brought their A-game tonight. So f-ing funny! We tease because we love.”

Donna’s friend Joe Mac agreed, saying, “One of the funnest nights I’ve had in years … An all in tribute to our SF icon Donna Sachet. Well deserved. An ‘only in San Francsico night.’”

W

Donna’s Chronicles

“Just because it stretches doesn’t mean it should.”

By Donna Sachet

e often remark on the great variety of experiences available in the City and a new exhibit at the de Young Museum demonstrates that perfectly. We attended the press preview for Contemporary Muslim Fashion and found ourselves intrigued, challenged and pensive.

Mannequins draped in everything from casual afternoon outfits, elaborate eveningwear and even burqa swimwear (yes!) were strategically arranged among minimal architectural elements and special lighting effects evoking a Middle Eastern environment. With only the barest understanding of Muslim culture, but a rather extensive knowledge of Western fashion, we found ourselves challenged alternatively by familiar fabrics and design treatments and foreign concepts of female beauty and modesty. Video monitors and curator notes provided insight into the emerging category of modest fashion and the nature of this truly groundbreaking display. When we ran into Dede Wilsey, unquestionably one of the City’s best dressed socialites and Board President of the Fine Arts Museums of San Francisco, we professed our continued loyalty to the likes of Bill Blass and Oscar de la Renta, although we were intrigued by the confluence of ideas represented by this exhibit, which runs through the first of next year.

In the amiable company of Brian Kent, Drunk Drag Dizney on Broadway at Oasis provided a rollicking romp through Disney musicals and myriad drag interpretations. Elsa Touche emceed the first half of the evening, presenting drag parodies of various Disney musical tunes and featuring some amazing talents. After a brief intermission, Chyna Maykit and Peggy L’Eggs drunkenly emceed a raucous restaging of The Lion King and The Little Mermaid, mashed up and amusingly mangled. It was truly ensemble casting at its best with stand-out performances by Kylie Minono, Noah Haydon, Guicho Domingo and Crystal Liu. During the night, they also raised money for the LGBT Asylum Project, helping to ease the process of immigration for those coming to the United States to escape persecution. Watch for a return of this creative group in December at Oasis!

Last Friday, historian and fellow columnist Dr. Bill Lipsky gathered a panel of cultural pioneers and current activists at the GBLT History Museum on 18th Street to discuss the historic 40 years of the Bay Times in San Francisco. GLBT Historical Society Executive Director Terry Beswick welcomed founding news editor Randy Alfred, founding production manager Susan Calico, founding contributor Cleve Jones, columnist and Commissioner Andrea Shorter, City Supervisor Rafael Mandelman and Dr. Lipsky, who each provided unique perspectives on the decades of the San Francisco Bay Times and its various incarnations. Originally championed as “a Newspaper by Lesbians & Gay Men,” this publication has maintained a commitment of inclusiveness to this day, regularly reflected in the breadth of its columnists and the scope of its reporting. A comprehensive slide show took us through the years and the many events that shaped the paper, leading us to this past issue and the inspiring Golden Gate Bridge and announcement of the column you are now reading. Among those attending were Ken Hamai; Bruce Beaudette, newly elected member of the SF Pride Board; Rick Mayne and Jeffrey Hall of Great Britain; famed historic photographer Rink; Bay Times columnist Sister Dana van Iquity; and columnist and Openhouse co-founder Dr. Marcy Adelman.

The main event for us this month was the long-awaited, much-anticipated Roast of Donna Sachet, last Saturday at the Castro Theatre. To be honest, until we saw it on the marquee, we weren’t sure it was actually going to take place. Hundreds of people gathered for a well-intentioned, no-holds-barred lampoon, produced by Oasis and Peaches Christ Productions and benefiting the GLBT Historical Society. Members of the San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus started us off as only they can with rousing music, as indeed they started the persona of Donna Sachet over 25 years ago at a chorus retreat. Then popular comedian, actor and Broadway star Bruce Vilanch set the tone for the night, launching into jokes about the Castro Theatre, the City, and the roast about to begin. We entered the stage backed by a sparkling visual of our name before a theatre packed with well-wishers, including Kile Ozier, Mike Smith, Dan Joraanstad & Bob Hermann, Gary Virginia, James Holloway, Richard Sablatura, Michael Youens, Linda Lee, Susan Fahey, Cicero Braganca, Cammy Blackstone, Larry Lare Nelson, Ken Henderson, Joe Mac, Brian Benamati & Tony Onorati, Jorge Hernandez & Ron Jenkins, Wade Crosson, and Karin Lee Jaffie & Lori Howes.

Once seated on stage, we unpacked a few supplies for the night, including a bottle of vodka, a plastic baggie of powder, a red star emblem, our own microphone and a set of noise blocking headphones; insanity followed. Bruce introduced each roaster as a quick slide show featured them above: SF Policeman, International Mr. Leather 1992 and community leader Lenny Broberg; television, movie and Broadway performer Jai Rodriguez; infamous Sister of Perpetual Indulgence Sister Roma; former City Supervisor, State Assemblyman, and State Senator Mark Leno; community icon and historic figure Cleve Jones; San Francisco night-life impresario Heklina; and star of Broadway, theatre, and cabaret Sharon McNight—an impressive, but intimidating, panel. Each one brought their very best to the night, contributing personal style to barbs and insults to fellow panelists as well as the roastee, and keeping the audience in non-stop laughter. We can remember few nights when an audience was so consistently engaged and appreciative. Two surprise guests joined the roast, including Queen Mother Nicole the Great of the International Court Council with a few choice comments and a check for the beneficiary, and our very own brother, Adam Reeves, with historic slides, amusing childhood anecdotes and heart-warming remarks. As is traditional, the subject of the roast got the final word, so we sang I’m Still Here as a slide show reflecting 25 glorious years in San Francisco played behind us and the audience rose to a standing ovation.

Everyone involved in this excellent production, including Production Manager Bobby Barber and Stage Manager Jerry Lee Abram, are to be congratulated on a stellar evening of entertainment!

Then, fast-forward to Folsom Street Fair, which began for us with a small group of invited friends to a warehouse space of Dr. Jerome Goldstein & Tom Taylor where title-holders from across the globe and Leather aficionados gathered for brunch, cocktails and camaraderie, including Reigning E mperor L ea nd ro G on za les, G er r y Roberts, Ray Tilton, CoCo Butter, Anna

-Donna Sachet

Calendar a/la Sachet Every Sunday Sunday’s a Drag 10:30 am Brunch, 11:30 am Show The Starlight Room Sir Francis Drake Hotel $75 inclusive https://bit.ly/2OB4Gur Thursday, October 4 Shanti Gala: Compassion Is Universal 6 pm Palace Hotel $285 & up https://shanti.ejoinme.org/ciu2018 October 4–7 Varla Jean Merman 7 pm Oasis $27.50 & up https://bit.ly/2pj2P2d October 5 Make History!

The GLBT Historical Society Gala 5:30–6:30 pm VIP, 6:30–9:30 pm Gala SF War Memorial & Performing Arts Center $150 & up http://www.glbthistory.org/gala/ October 5–6 Kinsey Sicks 8 pm Marines’ Memorial Theatre $35 & up https://bit.ly/2NVzUzk Saturday, October 6 Horizons Foundation Gala 6 pm to 11:45 pm Fairmont Hotel $300 & up https://bit.ly/2NRQFez Sunday, October 7 Bark at the Park: Fleet Week K9 Heroes Fleet Week Emergency Dogs 11 am to 4 pm Duboce Park Free https://bit.ly/2QFkuxs Wednesday, October 10 TNDC 26th Annual Pool Toss 6 pm to 9:30 pm Phoenix Hotel $125 & up https://bit.ly/2NVBbX8 Friday, October 12 PRC Gala: Mighty Real 6 pm Four Seasons Hotel $300 & up https://bit.ly/2OAvpax Wednesday, October 17 Mr. International Freedom Contest 6 pm, Show at 7 pm Oasis $20 General Admission, $50 VIP Seating https://bit.ly/2ycbqYO Saturday, October 20 OurTownSF Nonprofit Expo 12:30–4:30 pm Eureka Valley Recreation Center Free https://bit.ly/2y9nnyi

(continued on page 29) PHOTO BY SHAWN NORTHCUTT

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Famous and Forgotten LGBT Firsts

Photos courtesy of Dr. Bill Lipsky

We do not know how Heliogabalus saw himself. The Emperor does seem to have developed a reputation among his contemporaries for living a decadent life, but his attempt to make the sun god Elagabal Rome’s chief deity may have led to his downfall—or simple palace intrigue. Whether all of the stories about him were true or not, he was assassinated by members of his Praetorian Guard after four years on the imperial throne.

Faces from Our LGBT Past Dr. Bill Lipsky Because we have always been here, there are many firsts associated with our LGBT communities. For brevity, we are using terms like gay, lesbian and homosexual very broadly to describe people of the past who sought same-sex intimacy, although they understood things differently. Human nature has not changed across recorded time, but how we think about it and the ways in which we act upon it have changed, as have the rules that govern it and the words we use to describe it.

First Gay Holiday Dating to the reign of the emperor Tiberius (14 CE–37 CE), the Fasti Praenestini stood in the town square of Praeneste (modern Palestrina), a favorite summer resort of wealthy Ro-

Fasti Praenestini Massimo

mans. A calendar of annual events, recovered in the 18th century, it stated that April 25 was a holiday for male sex workers ( pueri lenonii). The profession, of course, was much older.

“The value of male prostitutes,” the Roman historian Cato noted in the second century BCE, “exceeds that of farmlands.” Their endeavors were widespread and taxed by the state until 498 CE. First K nown Transsexual or Transgender Roman emperor Heliogabalus (c.

20 4 –222 C E ), who ca me to the throne when he was 14 years old in 218 CE, married and divorced five women before he was 18 . Accord i ng to his contemHeliogabalus porar y Cassius Dio, however, his most enduring relationship was with his chariot driver, a blond slave from Anatolia. Heliogabalus was also “delighted to be called the mistress, the wife, the queen of [philsopher] Hierocles.” Even so, it was Zoticus, an athlete from Smyrna, whom he wed in a public ceremony in Rome.

His lifestyle shocked even the sexually fluid Romans. Dio—who almost certainly did not approve—told readers in his Augustan History that on at least one occasion, when a visitor saluted the emperor as “My Lord Emperor, Hail!” he assumed “a ravishing feminine pose” and answered, “Call me not Lord, for I am a Lady.” Another time, “he asked the physicians to contrive a woman’s vagina in his body by means of an incision, promising them large sums for doing so.”

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First Modern Advocate for Gay Rights Happi ly married—or at least reasonably so— Sw iss aut hor Heinrich Hössli (1784–1864) argued in his twov o l u m e w or k , Eros: T he G reek Love of Men, published in 1836– Heinrich Hössli 1838, t hat sex between men was natural. “Sexual nature is immutable,” he wrote, an “eternal part of human nature.” To question it was to raise “questions about the individuality, the foundation essence, the original depths of human disposition,” as well as someone’s “innermost, unchangeable nature and being.” He now is considered to be the modern world’s first champion for homosexual rights.

First Recorded Use of the Word ‘Lesbianism’ In his diary entry for May 2, 1870, A r t hu r Mu nby w rote t hat his friend, British poet A lgernon Swinburne, “e x pr e s s e d ... an actual admiration of Lesbianism.” Munby was shocked, but Swinburne liked shocking people a nd promoted his reputation as a devotee of decadence. Oscar Wilde, however, stated that actually he was “a braggart in matters of vice, who had done everything he could to convince his fellow citizens of his homosexuality and bestiality without being in the slightest degree a homosexual or a bestialiser.”

First Voice for Homosexual Rights in the United States Anarchist, polit- Algernon Charles ical activist, ad- Swinburne vocate for equal rights and for a woman’s right to family planning, Emma Goldman (1869– 1940) gave the first public defense of homosexuality in the United States during a speech in 1910. “It is a tragedy,” she later wrote to German sexologist Magnus Hirschfeld, that the world “shows so little understanding for homosexuals and is so crassly indifferent to the various gradations and variations of gender and their great significance in life.” (continued on page 29)

Emma Goldman

Why Should I Care About a Woman’s Right to Choose? fully living the life of a young person who had just retired my fake I.D. for a real one. One night, I met a great guy in a bar and we began dating. Trey was a stand-up kind of guy, a little older and stable. I was crazy and a bit wild. He accepted me for who I was and really wanted to settle down together. I was not ready to settle down, but he was so nice.

TLC: Tears, Laughs and Conversation Dr. Tim Seelig Pro-choice or pro-life? That’s an odd question for a gay man to pose in an LGBTQ newspaper. It’s not exactly a topic discussed at your local Castro bar or eatery. At first glance, this issue has only tangential impact on our community. Making babies, in our community, is most often intentional, purposeful and, in many cases, very expensive. “Choice” is an interesting word since we spend a great deal of time defending ourselves against the allegation that our orientation is a choice. In this moment in time, we are hearing more and more about the pro-life vs. pro-choice controversy. Sides have been taken. Lines drawn. Roe vs. Wade appears to be in grave danger. But what does it mean to me? To us?

As a teen, I just knew that occasionally someone I barely knew left school to spend some time “away.” Most often it was at the local Buckner Baptist Home for Unwed Mothers. Later, as a straight (acting) adult and absorbed in the church every waking moment, it was not really discussed much. It was not a part of our lives at all. As far as we knew, no one in our church circle had any direct experience with this so-called pro-choice thing. Abortion didn’t hold nearly as prominent a position as homosexuality did in the hierarchy of human sins. So, we didn’t even talk about it with our children.

Life was good. Choice also sounded good. What did any of that have to do with me?

In my mind, I would never have to face this issue head on. Never say never. I have a story to share. Well, actually my daughter, Corianna, has a story that she would like to tell, if you would indulge us. She’s going to take the writer’s pen at this point. It’s a story she really wanted to tell herself.

Here we go: I was 21 years old, living in a garage apartment in Dallas. I was going to nursing school, working as a nursing assistant. I was

Clara at the Women’s March

Dan, Corianna and Tim

It was the holidays. His parents were out of town, so we had their McMansion in the burbs to ourselves. We had sex, upstairs ... no protection. Of course, as a nursing student, I knew the risks, but was completely oblivious as to the real consequences. I took a test on New Year’s Day, all by myself. I was pregnant.

The f irst person I told was my Dad’s partner. I knew he wouldn’t judge and I needed help telling my Dad. I just didn’t know how he would react. Dad’s partner called

Clay, Corianna and Clara

a few friends together for a drink at a gay bar after a rehearsal one night. I surprised him by being there. I thought it would be better with people around. I told him. He came around the table, and as he has always done, said, “I love you.

Now let’s make a list of next steps!”

I gratefully declined that help.

The next days and weeks I floated as if in a bad dream. I barely remember the details. I have glimpses of being at the bar, snapshots of people’s faces. I felt ashamed and frightened. I told Trey last. He wanted to keep the baby, to be together. He worked out a plan. We went to look at places to live together. I remember standing in the bathroom of one of the houses, looking at the fish on the bathroom tile. I like fish and really liked the tile. At that moment, having that beautiful bathroom tile was almost

Photos courtesy of Dr. Tim Seeling

enough to make me consider having the baby.

I remember staring at the f ish on that tile and thinking, “I can barely take care of myself. I can’t pay my bills on time. I drink every night. I’m good at school, but that doesn’t translate to having a baby.” At that point, I had not one maternal bone in my body. I, myself, had not been mothered. At all.

I had no idea what being a mother looked like. Dad was the closest thing I had to a Mother. I was scared. I knew that I would be miserable. Trey would be miserable.

The child would most certainly be miserable. At that point, I couldn’t even take care of a fish or that fing tile.

I snapped. I didn’t tell anyone what I had decided, but I knew. Several weeks went by before I built the courage to take the next steps. I made a phone call and an appointment. The clinic I chose was wellknown because of picketers who had been outside for years. I had seen it on television news—never thinking I would need it. The news showed people screaming at everyone who entered ... with pictures of mutilated babies and other unimaginable images. On the day of my appointment, the kinder, gentler protesters were on duty.

I pushed through, ignoring them, and entered the most warm, welcoming place ever.

Two appointments were required.

The first was to get an ultrasound and to have a counseling session that gives you all of the possible options. The next, if you chose to return, was for the procedure. I was worried about paying for it. I had no money. I couldn’t ask Dad. Trey paid and didn’t shame me at all, even though that was not his choice for how this would unfold.

At the first visit, I had the ultrasound and found out how far along I was. They told me how big the fetus might be and what it had developed. They didn’t do it to make me feel bad but to be informed. I remember sitting very close to the counselor in a cozy room (like a therapist’s office). I didn’t cry. She offered me a picture of the ultrasound and I wanted it for some reason. She was lovely. I asked for a hug when I left and she seemed surprised, but obliged. It was a good hug ... seemed like she meant it. Now, twenty years later, I’m crying as I write this!

I made an appointment for the procedure two days from then. I wanted to do it by myself, so Dad dropped me off and Trey picked me up. The procedure didn’t last too long. They sedated me. There was a doctor and a nurse. I asked the nurse to hold my hand and she did, lovingly. I got the feeling that they really, really cared, and it made a huge impact on me. Trey picked me up and he was very sad. We didn’t know what to say to each other. I puked on the way back to my apartment. He asked if I wanted him to stay and I didn’t. I asked him to leave, and I’m sure that was the beginning of the end of our relationship.

On some level, I knew it was “wrong.” I learned it in church, the media, movies, after-school specials. Abortion is different than drinking or even having pre-marital sex. For some people, abortion is that thing you just don’t do. You don’t do it if you’re a Christian. You don’t do it if you’re a good person, and you don’t do it if you like kids ... or value human life. But all of that (continued on page 29) S AN F R ANC IS C O BAY T IM ES

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From the Coming Up Events Calendar See page 30

LGBTQ News & Calendar for the Bay Area CELEBRATING FOUR DECADES (1978–2018)

Monday, October 15 - Mister Sister Mondays @ Midnight Sun, 4067 18th Street. Rupaul’s Drag Race RUviewing Party. 9pm–2am. http://www.midnightsunsf.com/

Wednesday, October 17 - Queeraoke - Miss Thing Can Sing! @ El Rio, 3158 Mission. A weekly event with rotating hosts (queers and queens) as well as laughter and song. 9pm. http://www.elriosf.com/

Groundbreaking ‘Fun Home’ Comes to TheatreWorks Silicon Valley

This funny, warm and deeply moving musical follows Alison’s childhood at the family-owned funeral home (from which the title is derived), her growing understanding of her own sexuality and her grappling with unanswerable questions about her gay father.

The show was an instant smash hit.

The New York Times music critic Anthony Tomassini declared Jeanine Tesori’s score a “masterpiece” while the paper’s theatre critic Ben Brantley called the show a “beautiful heartbreaker of a musical. Fun Home finds a shining clarity that lights up the night.” He noted that Lisa Kron’s “book and resonantly precise lyrics give this show its essential spine,” and went on to list Fun Home as one of his top 15 shows of 2013.

Other accolades included praise from Joe Dziemianowicz of the New York Daily News who called the musical

“achingly beaut iful” and listed it at the top of his Top 10 in Theater for 2013 list. Charles McNulty of the Los Angeles Times said he couldn’t think of a musical in recent years “that has touched me as much w it h it s t ender, i r on ic and courageous vulnerability.”

Playbill described Fun Home as “the best musical of t h e y e a r. A n emotionallypacked piece of theatre, full of joy, he a r t , sorrow and uncomfortable reality.”

PHOTO BY KEVIN BERNE

This month, TheatreWorks Silicon Valley is bringing trailblazing musical Fun Home to life at the Mountain View Center for the Performing Arts.

Based on Alison Bechdel’s best-selling graphic novel memoir, this unconventional musical became one of Broadway’s biggest sensations—capturing “Best Musical” awards including the Tony, Lucille Lortel, Outer Critics Circle and Obie. Its composer and lyricist became the first female writing team to win a Tony Award for “Best Original Score.” And perhaps most groundbreaking of all, it was the first musical in Broadway history with a lesbian protagonist.

band for the touring musical Chess, and she happily agreed.

Fun Home marks a return to TheatreWorks for composer Jeanine Tesori, whose history with the Silicon Valley-based company began almost 30 years ago. It was in 1989 when the then-unknown composer mailed founding artistic director Robert Kelley a cassette tape of her first musical, Galileo, for consideration. Kelley was captivated by the work, and flew to St. Louis to track her down to ask if his theatre could produce it. He found Tesori playing keyboards in the pit

Says Kelley, who is directing this TheatreWorks production of Fun Home, “Our West Coast premiere of Galileo debuted the next summer with the authors in residence, and a lifelong friendship began.” A staunch fan from the start, Kelley may have suspected, but had no way of knowing, that Tesori would go on to become the most honored female American theatre composer. In the ensuring years, TheatreWorks went on to produce award-winning productions of Tesori’s musicals Violet and Caroline, or Change. Notes Kelley, “Both those musicals, like Galileo, are about the soul-stifling effects of intolerance. Fun Home is the next link in this powerful, inspiring chain.”

PHOTO BY KEVIN BERNE

Kelley first saw Fun Home in a final preview during its off-Broadway run at New York’s Public Theater. He says, “I was profoundly moved. For me that night, I knew only one thing. Some day this beautiful musical must come to TheatreWorks.” Although the show had not yet opened or been reviewed, immediately following the performance, Kelley sought out his old friend and begged her for the rights to produce Fun Home at TheatreWorks. But Tesori had a secret to share: something astonishing was happening.

KIT’N KITTY’S

QUEER POP QUIZ

Before Fun Home had even opened Off-Broadway, plans were falling into place to transfer this stunning new work to Broadway. “Astonishing it was,” says Kelley. “Despite an incredible score, a vital script and source, and tremendously relevant themes,

no one had expected this intimate, deeply personal musical to make it to Broadway. No one dreamed it would become a towering hit.” TheatreWorks would have to wait.

between these two generations is a stark but liberating lesson in the value of personal freedom and the devastating price of prejudice for individuals, for families—for all of us.”

The off-Broadway run at the Public Theater sold out and was extended four times. It became a 2014 Pulitzer Prize finalist and garnered a raft of major awards. After it opened at Broadway’s Circle in the Square Theatre, Fun Home went on to win five Tony Awards, including the aforementioned “Best Musical” honor as well as “Best Book of a Musical,” “Best Original Score,” “Best Direction” and “Best Leading Actor,” with its cast album receiving a Grammy Award nomination for “Best Musical Theatre Album.” Fun Home would run for over a year on Broadway, followed by a national tour. Seen on stages across the world, Fun Home continues to break down barriers, set records, shed light and give hope to thousands of LGBTQ community members and their families.

TheatreWorks has assembled an exciting cast for this production, with actors from across the country who collectively boast credits in television, film, New York and leading regional theatres. The company is led by Moira Stone (Alison), Erin Kommor (Medium Alison), and Lila Gold (Small Alison) appearing as the protagonist at different stages in her life. James Lloyd Reynolds (Bruce, Alison’s father) is a veteran of New York and major regional theatres, as well as television and film, as is Crissy Guerrero (Helen, Alison’s mother).

Based closely on the original graphic novel by MacArthur Genius Grant winner Bechdel, the heart of the story is the relationship between Alison and her father. Born in the 1930s, her middle-class dad leads a closeted gay life, consumed by a debilitating fear that his secret will be discovered.

Growing up in the 1970s and 80s, Alison—played by three actresses as a young girl, a teen and an adult— is free to be herself, pursues an artistic career and chronicles her own coming out in print. Says Kelley, “Its themes of sexuality repressed and released are universal. The difference

RUNWAY REALNESS Whoopi Goldberg produced a reality show called Strut, which followed the models and staff of this transsexual modeling agency: A) Jump B) Fab C) Werq D) Slay ANSWER ON PAGE 29

Regional pros include Ayelet Firstenberg as Joan, Alison’s college girlfriend, and Michael Doppe, playing a panoply of roles. The cast also includes talented youth who are already veterans of local stages: Jack Barrett and Dylan Kento Curtis share the role of Christian, Alison’s older brother; Billy Hutton and Oliver Copaken Yellin share the role of John, Alison’s younger brother. Ruth Keith will stand by as swing for Small Alison.

“Fun Home” is being presented

by TheatreWorks Silicon Valley through October 28 at the Mountain View Center for the Performing Arts, 500 Castro Street, Mountain View. Tickets ($40–$100) and information available online ( https://bit.ly/2OCrJrO ) or by calling 650-463-1960.

Karin Jaffie, aka Kit/Kitty Tapata, won the title of Mr. Gay San Francisco in 2011 and has earned many other honors since.

Connect with Jaffie via Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/pg/ktapata

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An A.I. Therapist Hilariously Comes to Life in Eliza Gibson’s BRAVO 25

Photos courtesy of Eliza Gibson

Amber, your A.I. therapist will see you now. If things get a little tense in today’s group session, she may suggest “we return to our breath.” But she won’t be breathing. She’s an avatar. On a TV screen. And so launches the wild ride BRAVO 25: Your A.I. Therapist Will See You Now in which queer artist Eliza Gibson draws on her real-life experience as a social worker and therapist to inhabit six humans and their A.I. avatar leader, in a support group unlike any you’ve ever seen.

items of the week Department 56 Last Laugh Asylum An attached lit gate and tri color lighting are main features that elevate The Last Laugh Asylum to one of the best Halloween designs that Scott Enter has ever created. This old decrepit mansion has faded from glory days past to haunting nights now.

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Of course we have all of your regular everyday stuff too, but you knew that.

From a polyamorous lesbian awaiting the arrival of Superintelligence to a grieving savant who likes donuts, Gibson brings to life all of the characters in this rollicking, multilayered work, named “Best Bet” by Theatre is Easy, NY, in February of this year, and winner of the ENCORE! Producers’ Award at the Hollywood Fringe Festival in June last year. Gathering kudos wherever it has played, BRAVO 25: Your A.I. Therapist Will See You Now, directed

by San Francisco’s dean of solo performance David Ford, is now playing at The Marsh San Francisco, with shows at 8 pm Thursdays and 5 pm Saturdays through October 27.

“If you need to patch up your soul or restore your faith in humanity, BRAVO 25: Your A. I. Therapist Will See You Now is just the right medicine,” said Theatre is Easy, NY, while Culture Clatch proclaimed, “Gibson effortlessly fills the stage with her presence, adeptly generating pathos and comedy.” Other raves came from Hi! Drama, which called the show “A sure bet! Futuristic, yet believable,” and the Fresno Bee, which shared that “Gibson’s characters are well articulated and her stage presence is stellar.” Accolades have also come from Gibson’s own industry, with CSU Psychology Professor Karl Oswald describing the show as: “A true gem ... deeply touching, hilarious & thought-provoking.”

BRAVO 25 premiered at the Rogue Festival in Fresno in March 2017, had a weekend production in San Francisco by Beyond Words in April 2017 at Stage Werx Theatre, an extended run at the Hollywood Fringe Festival in July 2017 and a run at FRIGID New York in February 2018. An excerpt of BRAVO 25 was selected to compete in San Francisco’s PianoFight’s ShortLived competition in February 2016, and in January 2018, the show was selected for a Marsh Rising performance at The Marsh San Francisco, before opening on its main stage last month.

Based in San Francisco, writer and solo performer Eliza Gibson was trained as a classical pianist and a drummer. She wrote and performed her f irst solo show, Dialogues with Madwomen, in 1995 after returning to the U.S. from Yugoslavia where she had been a humanitarian aid worker.

And Now, No Flip Flops?!, also directed by David Ford, was performed at various Bay Area venues as well

as in festivals in Fresno, NYC, and Providence, Rhode Island. She also wrote the narrative for Memories Do Not Burn, a documentary about war orphans and refugees featuring the voice of Sarah Jessica Parker. Eliza recently made her Theatre Rhinoceros debut in the summer production of Oedipus at Palm Springs by the Five Lesbian Brothers. A clinical social worker, Eliza led the start-up for Clinic by the Bay, a free health clinic for working uninsured adults, where she served as Executive Director until 2015. Eliza currently works at a health technology company, which may or may not have provided inspiration for BRAVO 25.

Director David Ford has been collaborating on new and unusual theater for three decades and has been associated with The Marsh for most of that time. The San Francisco press has variously called him “the solo performer maven,” “the monologue maestro,” “the dean of solo performance,” and “the solo performer’s best friend.” Collaborators include Geoff Hoyle, Echo Brown, Brian Copeland, Charlie Varon, Marilyn Pittman, Rebecca Fisher, Wayne Harris and Marga Gomez. As a director, Mr. Ford has directed both solo and ensemble work regionally at The Public Theater, Second Stage, Theatre for the New City (New York City), Highways (Los Angeles) and Woolly Mammoth ( Washington, D.C.) as well as at theaters around the Bay Area including Magic Theatre and Marin Theatre Company.

Bay Area comedians Irene Tu, Julia Jackson, Maureen Langan, Abas Idris and Jackie Keiliiaa open some of the shows. And for those wanting to take a deeper dive into themes from BRAVO 25, particularly our relationship with technology, human’s capacity to change, and the current state and future of Artificial Intelligence, Gibson has scheduled interactive free talkbacks for the audience following select performances. The roster of speakers from San Francisco arts, technology and mental health communities includes: October 6: Dr. Susan Maxwell, Clinical Psychologist at the PTSD Clinic at San Francisco VAMC; October 11: Demos of WOE BOT, the mental health chatbot and a discussion with WOEBOT

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CEO/Founder Alison Darcy about the future and ethical considerations of A.I. therapy; October 13: David Ford, director and published playwright, to discuss the making of BRAVO 25; October 25: Tyler Schnoebelen (PhD, Linguistics, Stanford University) A.I., machine learning, and emoji expert.

BR AVO 25: Your A.I. Therapist Will See You Now is one of the fall’s major attractions at the Mission district’s theatre gem, The Marsh. Launched in 1989 as “a breeding ground for new performance” by Founder and Artistic Director Stephanie Weisman, the theatre now annually hosts more than 600 performances of 175 shows across the company’s two venues in San Francisco and Berkeley.

Hailed by the San Francisco Chronicle for “solo performances that celebrate the power of storytelling at its simplest and purest,” The Marsh was also named one of the Bay Area’s best intimate theaters by The East Bay Times, which proclaimed it “one of the most thriving solo theaters in the nation. The live theatrical energy is simply irresistible.”

BRAVO 25: Your A.I. Therapist Will See You Now is at The Marsh San Francisco, 1062 Valencia St., San Francisco. Shows are 8 pm Thursdays and 5 pm Saturdays, now through October 27. Tickets ($20–$35 sliding scale, $55–$100 reserved) are available at 415-285-3055 and online at www.themarsh.org

Studio 54 Transports Viewers Back to Fabled Nightclub

Film Gary M. Kramer Studio 54, opening October 12 in the Bay Area, documents the rise and fall of the storied nightclub as seen through the eyes of co-owner Ian Schrager, among others. In an almost confessional tone, Schrager explains how he and the late, gay Steve Rubell met in college, created an exclusive club (that operated without a liquor license) and ran afoul of the law (for tax evasion, and skimming unreported income, among other crimes), before prison and reinvention.

It’s a great true crime tale, full of ambition, greed and fame, as well as culture, music, sexuality and drugs.

Studio 54 rose from Rubell and Schrager’s dream to create a successful nightclub in a part of town where one was likely to get mugged. They took the energy that was on display in gay clubs and “turned it up a notch” (several notches, really) to “capture everyone’s imagination.” Studio 54 was a place where anything could happen—”and it did,” according to one interviewee.

Studio 54 portrays this era with considerable interest and affection. Director Matt Tyrnauer transports viewers back in time when the “age of celebrity” was created. There is a terrific interview with a young Michael Jackson talking about the ex-

citement of the club. Moreover, as the film shows, Studio 54 was a safe space for the LGBT community, as it promised inclusion and acceptance in a world where homophobia and transphobia were prevalent, where patrons could be free and carefree.

Rubell was not out to his mother, the film reveals. He also died from AIDS, though the official report said otherwise. He was eager to court celebrity friends, like Liza Minnelli, Andy Warhol and Truman Capote, who were regulars at the club. He also identified with outsiders, and invited transgender patrons such as “Disco Sally,” an aging widowed lawyer, and “Rollerena,” a Wall Street banker in drag who acted as a kind of fairy godmother.

While Rubell was the social butterfly, Schrager worked behind the scenes.

He recounts most of these anecdotes with an infectious attitude. It is as if even he can’t quite believe what he and Rubell did and lived. Schrager imparts an almost confessional tone at times, too, which gives the story some poignancy and gravitas. He is regretful about some of what transpired at the club regarding the illegal activities—involving drugs, tax evasion and skimming unreported in-

come. And he is cagey when asked a direct question about the questionable bookkeeping. He also describes the guilt he had when he gave information to the feds while he was in prison to get a reduced sentence. The shame weighs on Schrager, who also reinvents himself.

Rubell, who is seen only in interviews, is shown to be who he was, too—a party promoter and braggadocio who truly wanted others to have a good time, and who was fiercely loyal to his business partner (Schrager) and friends. But as the story unfolds, Tyrnauer shows how slippery Rubell was.

It was, after all, a claim he made in an interview that brought about the IRS raid of the club.

Studio 54 shrewdly chronicles the rise and fall of the club. It starts out as all good times and heady atmosphere, and the f ilm’s soundtrack pulses to popular disco music. However, the fall is arguably more interesting. Tyrnauer juxtaposes the prosecutor in the case against Rubell and Schrager talking about the garbage bags full of cash in the drop ceiling in the basement with club manager Michael Overington’s explanation that (continued on page 24)

Rupert Everett Talks About Being Wilde and Directing The Happy Prince

By Gary M. Kramer Out gay writer and actor Rupert Everett delivers a fine directorial debut with The Happy Prince, a trenchant drama that has him playing Oscar Wilde in the last years of his life. The film, which opens in the Bay Area October 12, begins with Wilde being released from prison in 1897 after two years of hard labor for gross indecency with men. His literary executor, Robbie Ross (a terrific Edwin Thomas), and his friend, Reggie Turner (Colin Firth), meet him in France, where he will live out his days. However, Wilde will also reconnect with his lover, Alfred Bosie Douglas (Colin Morgan), whom he loves—despite Bosie’s father sending Wilde to prison.

Everett excels at playing the playwright, dispensing witticisms and observations about his sorry state in life. The performance is matched by a care in the filmmaking. Everett dutifully crafts The Happy Prince, giving the film a burnished look that captures both the period and Wilde’s jaundiced, melancholic mood. The actor/writer/director recently chatted with me for the San Francisco Bay Times about playing Wilde and making The Happy Prince.

Gary M. Kramer: Wilde seems a role you were born to play.

How did you identify with Wilde in ways beyond the obvious parallels?

Rupert Everett: I suppose really because I’ve been gay in this business, you look to other characters who are the same. They become inspiration.

I was trying to write a film at 2007.

My career was at a standstill, and I

wasn’t getting parts. I felt in exile myself from my own business. There was a parallel that enabled me to put myself into the story.

Gary M. Kramer: Can you talk about your approach to presenting Wilde in the way you do?

Rupert Everett: For me, what is attractive about him is he’s the last great vagabond of the 19th century, shuff ling around Paris and keeping his eye out for victims to catch drinks off of and saying hello to his petty, criminal friends. He used to be amazing, and the most celebrated, but fate has reduced him to being a tramp. I find that to be one of the most romantic stories of the 19th century: the riches to rags and fall of Wilde. It’s incredibly touching and partly because he’s an ordinary human as well as a genius. I love him for his bad qualities as well as his good ones. I think that he didn’t approach life as a victim.

Today we worship victimhood. I find that depressing. I think Wilde was not

a victim. He carved his own constitution on the street, he was curious about life, had crushes and was tragic and bitter at times, but maintained a sense of humor. It didn’t occur to him to be a victim of his fate. It’s valiant, courageous and very touching.

Gary M. Kramer: What prompted you to take on this project as your directorial debut?

Rupert Everett: I didn’t want to [direct] originally. I wrote it for Roger Michell and I approached him and other directors. But after 2½ years, I got a “no” from all of them, and so I decided, f--- it. I’ll make it myself.

The challenges were before the f i l m i n g , m o s t l y. R a i s i n g t h e money took so long, and I got to so many dead ends, and that was demoralizing. Making the film once it had all been put together was tough, but I knew how I wanted it to be, so (continued on page 24) S AN F R ANC IS C O BAY T IM ES

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Weddings, Occasions & Relationships How to Feel More Confident About Lesbian Dating

The Lesbian Love Doctor Dr. Frankie Bashan Dear Dr. Frankie, I’m now single and putting myself out there in the dating scene. My problem is that I can’t seem to find the type of women I’m interested in—I want to meet professional lesbians. Someone professional, well-rounded and successful. I work as a financial analyst, I love to work out, I’m financially responsible, I have a graduate degree, strong values and I don’t fancy any drugs, except for the occasional drink in a social setting. (You’ve just described the woman we all want to meet. I’ve written about this before in this column and on my website.)

I find that many of the women I date aren’t settled, really don’t know what they want to do with their lives and often have some sort of substance abuse issue. I wa nt to meet a professional lesbian because chances are, they know what they want.

My friends have also told me that I need someone with a good career. I agree, but I can’t seem to find them.

Do you have any advice or general suggestions on what I should change about my approach towards dating so that I can find this type of woman?

Any advice or thoughts you can offer would be great.

Dear Professional Lesbian Lover: My f irst question: Where are you looking? Consider what type of places you are meeting women.

Without making sweeping generalizations, I have noticed that many career-oriented, professional women tend to be very physically active. You might find them at a cycling club, CrossFit, boot camps, Sierra hiking clubs, etc.

I know some incredible women who take sailing classes and play on recreational soccer teams. My ex-partner played in a large San Francisco-based women’s league and half of her teammates graduated from Ivy League universities.

There were lawyers, engineers, graduate students and doctors on her team. Who knew?! A sport or physical activity might be a good place to start your quest for higher caliber women while learning a new sport at the same time.

Many driven, professional women are often politically minded and politically active. Quite a few donate their time and/or money to support lesbian rights. Many of these women attend events associated with the National Center for Lesbian Rights (NCLR), Golden Gate Business Association (GGBA, see page 13) Human Rights Commission (HRC), and numerous community galas such as those for the San Francisco LGBT Center. Although the tickets can be pricey, make sure to attend these annual events. Aside from supporting a great cause, the women at those events tend to be more established and professional.

I also suggest looking into the professional clubs and organizations in your area. What about book clubs or a gourmet cooking class? Are there any networking events that would draw like-minded women in your field or similar industries? Thinking ahead, if you meet an attractive woman at one of these events and can’t tell if she’s gay, give her your card anyway and see if there’s potential.

You don’t have anything to lose, and at the very least, you will gain another business contact.

Take a marketing approach to your love life. For example, figuring out your target market is at the center of every business. Who is the type of person that needs the services that your business offers and where do they shop, work out, read a magazine and/or eat brunch? The same can be said for meeting a professional lesbian. If you’re attracted to sporty women who play group sports on the weekends, you better find yourself a local recreational softball league and start hanging out at their games. Or, maybe you respond to more creative types who own their own businesses. Join a MeetUp with the same focus. You don’t have to be blunt about your intentions; just attend an event and casually get to know others there.

Meeting professional women is the one thing that my clients ask me about. You’re not alone. There are many, many women who want to meet you and they are just waiting to find you. But, like you, they live busy lives. It’s why I do what I do and it’s the main reason I host Lesbian/Bi Single Mingles. Professional lesbians are terrible at meeting each other! So, don’t lose faith. Keep putting yourself out there and let me know how it goes.

Good luck.

Dr. Frankie Bashan is a psychologist, matchmaker and relationship guru who has been using her psychology background combined with technology and personalized algorithms to successfully match lesbian couples nationwide. As the founder of Little Gay Book, the only exclusively lesbian/bi matchmaking agency in the U.S., she helps women in every state to find authentic, healthy, righteous, full-blown love and she knows what makes relationships tick. For more info: https://www.littlegaybook.com/

KRAMER STUDIO 54 (continued from page 23) he filled the ceilings with quarters for the bartenders because the safe where they kept the change was a pain in the neck to open. Which story viewers want to believe is up to them, but both seem plausible.

Likewise, when the club’s criminal investigation unfolds, and Schrager is caught with cocaine on his hands, one can choose to believe he was innocent—as he claims—or chalk it up to one of the litany of mistakes he and Rubell made. Whether or not Studio

54 has ties to organized crime is also open to debate.

Tyrnauer presents the facts rather than speculating on what is true. Studio 54 is more about how two young guys from Brooklyn captured lighting in a bottle for 33 months. It also traces the changes in American society and culture over the time to show the significance of the era and what it represented.

Studio 54 is not a cautionary tale about how Schrager and Rubell paid

the price for their hubris. It’s a fascinating story of success, failure and reinvention, well told by Tyrnauer. It should appeal to anyone who went to Studio 54, or anyone who wanted to go. © 2018 Gary M. Kramer Gary M. Kramer is the author of “Independent Queer Cinema: Reviews and Interviews,” and the co-editor of “Directory of World Cinema: Argentina.” Follow him on Twitter @garymkramer

KRAMER HAPPY PRINCE (continued from page 23) I wasn’t unsure, and that was very lucky. There wasn’t anything I didn’t think I could achieve. A good half of a director’s job is done before you start filming, choosing the people: the director of photography, whom I couldn’t make the film without, the production designer, the costumer, the editor, etc., and the actors.

Gary M. Kramer: The Happy Prince is your sixth collaboration with Colin Firth. You both had feature film debuts in Another Country back in 1984.

What can you say working with him?

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Rupert Everett: One of the nice things about getting older is knowing folks for a long time and working together. We had a great laugh doing the St. Trinians films together. I adore Colin. He’s been supportive to me over the making of my film.

Gary M. K ramer: W hat are your observations on Wilde’s relationship with Bosie as seen in the film after jail as well as his friendship with Robbie, who truly loves him?

Rupert Everett: I think Bosie regretted going to Naples. In the film I have them going straight away. In

reality, Bosie went on holiday with his mother first. It was halfhearted.

Bosie wanted money and didn’t like Wilde without money. The real love is between Robbie and Oscar. Robbie loved him unconditionally, and Oscar didn’t want that, but he realized it too late. © 2018 Gary M. Kramer Gary M. Kramer is the author of “Independent Queer Cinema: Reviews and Interviews,” and the co-editor of “Directory of World Cinema: Argentina.” Follow him on Twitter @garymkramer

Football vs. Rugby

Take Me Home with You!

Football has beautiful, curvaceous and barely clothed cheerleaders. Rugby has gorgeous, athletic cheerleaders wearing almost nothing. TIE

Sports John Chen It’s October and you know what that means! Football season is in full swing: the spectacle, the pageantry, the tailgating, the parties, the 49ers and the Raiders. Americans, we love our football. From the squeamish cover your eyes hits to the spectacular one-handed diving catches to the svelte sexy cheerleaders, we just can’t get enough of it.

Overseas, there’s gnarly a peep or even a bleep. Does anyone else care?

Well, kind of, if we are talking rugby, the physical game in which American football is derived from back in the late 1800s. Rugby is the original “football” where men exhibited and displayed great toughness in tackling and wrestling to achieve a score.

While football eventually became the most popular sport in America, rugby claimed its fame on an international stage. Ask any American sports fan about football, and you’ll get an extended discussion. You may even be bonded for life because you both love the same team. Then ask about rugby. You will most likely get crickets or “they don’t wear protection.” (We are talking about helmets and pads here.)

So which sport is better? Tougher?

Football has 22 (11 on each team) big, strong and muscular players sporting ultra-tight body contouring and defining pants on the field. Rugby has 22 (11 on each team) big strong and muscular players sporting oh-so-short shorts on the field. TIE

Size is everything. Rugby balls are bigger and plumper than footballs. Rugby playing fields are longer and thicker (I mean wider) than football f ields.

Professional football linemen on average weigh 312 pounds, a little more than 60 pounds over the average professional rugby forward (rugby equivalent to football linemen) at 251 pounds. (Sources: Business Insider, UK Independent.) Football stadium capacity on average is larger and more cavernous than a rugby stadium. For example, 12 American football stadiums seat over 90,000 people; only one rugby stadium in the world seats over 90,000. (Source: Wikipedia) TIE Rugby has numerous women clubs.

Football has a semi-pro women league. TIE Ruggers tackle, but do not wear protective pads and helmets. Football players tackle, but wear protective pads and helmets. RUGBY Football players hit, block, screen and often take advantage of protective gear to increase the physicality of the game. It is illegal for ruggers to hit and block. FOOTBALL Ruggers have well rounded skill sets to accomplish multiple feats during the game. Football players also have highly specialized skill sets to accomplish specific feats during the game.

NO DECISION Rugby is free f lowing with more in game, on the f ly strategy and little game stoppage. Football is a calculated, step by step game that often times has a significantly sizable playbook.

NO DECISION Travis Cohan, who was a football lineman in high school and a forward with the UCLA Rugby Club, offered his insights on the two sports: “Due to the stoppage of play after every down,

Stan

football players can go high intensity on each play and get a breather afterwards. This stoppage allows both offense and defensive to implement clear strategies moving forward.”

He added, “Rugby players, being free flowing with few stoppages, must be smart on how much energy and intensity to expend while the ball is in play.

Ruggers must also make quick, strategic decisions in moving the offense and the defense forward.”

Although Cohan loves football, he does favor the fact that ruggers of any position have ample opportunity to score a try (equivalent to touchdown in football) and play the entire game on both offense and defense, something that is almost impossible to do in football.

There you have it. Whether you consider yourself team rugby or team football or both (because you swing both ways), each sport has its unique strong points. Both sports demand toughness and are physically bruising with rabid fan bases. Consider this matchup a draw or a tie.

John Chen, a UCLA alumnus and an avid sports fan, has competed as well as coached tennis, volleyball, softball and football teams.

Vacation Fitness challenges, and I appreciate how she makes the best of every day.

If you are not fitting fitness into your daily routine, maybe you can use vacation as an exercise opportunity. I suggest planning and enjoying some activities. Take a walk, a swim, a bike ride or look for a yoga or dance class to try. Keep it light. If you enjoy sleeping in, plan for something later in the day. Be flexible about it. Everything counts.

Easy Fitness Cinder Ernst I know summer’s over, but in my experience, people vacation at all times of the year.

Do you find yourself worried about losing your exercise momentum while you are on vacation? Many people do.

On the other hand, some people look forward to the increased opportunity to be active on vacation since home/ work schedules can be so busy. Some folks just take it as it comes.

I have a client in Hawaii right now; her name is Paula. One of the opportunities Paula enjoys while vacationing is having the time and energy to walk in the pool. Although Paula exercises regularly at home (bike, stretching and strengthening), her demanding work schedule doesn’t allow her to get to the pool with any consistency. She sent me a text recently about how wonderful she was feeling.

Paula has a variety of health and joint

You might splurge for a personal trainer on vacation. In 1986, I visited San Francisco for the first time. I was a beginning bodybuilder. As a treat for myself, I hired a personal trainer for two sessions while I was here. I decided to move to San Francisco after that trip. That same trainer became my mentor a few years later as I started my personal training business here. Back in those days, personal trainers were only found in body building gyms. As a matter of fact, I pioneered personal training at the Central YMCA all those years ago.

Now there are personal trainers on cruise ships and in hotels. We’re everywhere!

If you do hire a personal trainer on vacation, I suggest that you simply enjoy the opportunity to work out.

Avoid making a lot of plans for the future or talking about goals or weight loss. Exercise with the guidance of an expert, make it feel like a treat, not punishment.

Museums and walking tours are a great way to get more exercise. If you are going to be on your feet more than

usual, be sure to do a bit of stretching before and after, and wear appropriate footwear. The last thing you want is to be sore on vacation. It’s so easy nowadays to Google your question; I just asked my phone for walking stretches and voila! Tons of options.

“I’m Stan the Man! Weighing in at just 11 pounds, I might be pint-sized, but I’ve got a big personality. I love meeting new people and other pups. I’m a mellow fellow most of the time, and now that I’ve reached the wise-old-age of 11, I’ve learned to appreciate the finer things in life: good friends, long walks and naps in the sun! Come say hello and let’s mosey down the road together.”

Stan is presented to San Francisco Bay Times readers by Dr. Jennifer Scarlett, the SF SPCA’s Co-President. Our thanks also go to Krista Maloney for helping to get the word out about lovable pets like Stan.

To meet Stan as well as other pets seeking their forever homes, please visit: San Francisco SPCA Mission Campus 250 Florida Street San Francisco, CA 94103 415-522-3500 Aside from major holidays, the adoption center is open Mon–Fri: 1–6 pm and Sat– Sun: 10 am–5 pm. Free parking is available for those wishing to adopt!

For more information: www.sfspca.org/adopt

Dr. Jennifer Scarlett and Pup

Fitness SF Trainer Tip of the Month Richelle, Fitness SF Embarcadero “There are so many advantages to using free weights in the g ym, instead of using the same old machines. First, they decrease imbalances that you may have in your muscles, forcing each arm to work on its own. Second, free weights are much more versatile when it comes to movement and variety. Finally, they will greatly improve your overall balance.”

How about if you are a regular exerciser and are afraid you will lose ground while on vacation? This is mostly a mindset issue. Find a way to soothe the worry. You might say to yourself something like, “I know that I worry, but really, I’m pretty good at this. All I need to do is to take it one day at a time.”

Try to think in a general way such as, “I’m doing just fine and things are always working out for me.” Leave out specific details. The more specific you are, the more worry momentum you will create. Worry, after all, is using your imagination to create something you don’t want. Try to focus on, and be specific about, the fun and pleasure that you will have on vacation.

Cinder Ernst, Medical Exercise Specialist and Life Coach Extraordinaire, helps reluctant exercisers get moving with safe, effective and fun programs. Her book, “Easy Fitness for the Reluctant Exerciser” ( https://bit.ly/2D6itYo ), is available in paperback and E-book.

She specializes in fitness and rehab for plus-size clients, but her stressfree approach is suitable for all. Find out more at http://cinderernst.com

Tore Kelly, Director of Creative & Social Media for Fitness SF, provides monthly tips that he has learned from professional trainers. For more information: https://fitnesssf.com/

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Jeffrey Villa, Brandon Uria, Chris Lintz, Sal Evans-Tovar, Rachel De Dora, Sara Toogood, Nguyen Pham, Jennay Golden and Chris Williams at the Amplify Cheer for Life Foundation’s party at the GLBT History Museum on September 22.

Cheer San Francisco’s Sara Toogood congratulated George Camany who accepted a check on behalf of Santa Cruz Diversity.

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uring the 1977 Castro Street Fair, Rink took this photo of muscular, tank top-clad Brad McFaddin and Steven Scarborough. The two men were the owners of The Good Provider, a vitamin and health food store located at 584 Castro Street from 1976 to 1986. Castro Camera, Harvey Milk’s camera store, was located right across the street. Scarborough told Rink that adult film legend Kristin Bjorn was a clerk at The Good Provider, prior to his video fame.

McFaddin went on to found Marcello’s Pizza in 1978. At 420 Castro Street, the business is still going strong. McFaddin ran the restaurant with a large crew of young staff.

A friend of renowned activist and founding San Francisco Bay Times contributor Cleve Jones, McFaddin was a generous donor to The Names Project. McFaddin was himself HIV positive, and succumbed to AIDS. Scarborough recently wrote to Rink, updating him of his busy last four decades. His life partner was Chuck Holmes (1945–2000), who founded Falcon Studios in 1971. (The San Francisco LGBT Community Center is named in Holmes’ honor.) From 1987 to 1993, Scarborough was an executive vice-president and director at Falcon. In 1993, he founded the gay porn company Hot House Entertainment.

He has won numerous awards over the years, and was inducted into the GayVN Hall of Fame in 2002.

Cheer San Francisco board members surrounded Shanti Project’s Nisha Trivedi (center) who accepted the check on behalf of Shanti during the Amplify Cheer for Life Foundation party on September 22.

Supporters of Assemblyman Phil Ting (center wearing the red tie) joined the fun at his campaign party held at Sam’s Grill on September 18.

Musician Peter Fogel performed songs made famous by Freddie Mercury, at Dog Eared Books Castro on September 20.

As Heard on the Street . . . What are your thoughts on the #metoo movement?

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Grubstake restaurant owner Jimmy Consos (right), who is a longtime supporter of the LGBT community, with server Walter Nunes. The restaurant offers American comfort food and Portuguese favorites

Author Daniel D. Mann, holding his novel Dream of the Snake God, paused on the sidewalk just outside of Dog Eared Books Castro on September 19.

Novelist Jim Provenzano spoke about his new book, Now I’m Here, at Dog Eared Books Castro on September 20

compiled by Rink

Stevanne Auerback

Paula Fiscal

Andrea Shorter

Christine Konkol

“It is time to stand up and speak out. I helped to start childcare in federal offices, and services like that help women and should be expanded and continue.”

“It’s been hidden under the rug for too long, and it’s a long time coming. People in power decided that there are not enough white babies and they want to limit birth control and abortion. But there are poor white and non white women who will be forced to bear children that they cannnot afford.”

“The movement is only a year old and it is just getting started. We need time to heal from the past and move forward.”

“I am a #metoo from my youth many times over. The time is now to give women, particularly young and vulnerable women, support and encouragement to expose men who have sexually assaulted them.”

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By Karen Bardsley

Photos by Sandy Morris, Jo-Lynn Otto, Tina Silano and Jane Higgins

to each other, they had tested the waters with their friends. Interest was immediate and sincere and, i n t he end , eighteen women showed up. Five of these local businesswomen resolved to turn this meeting into a regular event. And so, Ebabes was born. Their simple and collaborative mission, states Jennifer Jones, “was, and is, to provide a safe and festive venue in the East Bay for lesbians to meet and mingle.” The f ive spent Ebabes founders “DB” Bivolcic and Jennifer Jones at The Terrace Room, the next few weeks Lake Merritt Hotel in Oakland planning and advertising their first event, which was to be held on the first Friday of October.

It’s the first Friday of the month and Oakland is full of life. Galleries have opened their doors to a stream of visitors passing from venue to venue as if trick-or-treating for art. Telegraph Avenue between Grand and 27th is closed to traffic for one of the Bay Area’s biggest street parties. Yet, a few blocks away, Lake Merritt is a picture of tranquility sparkling in the light of the setting sun. On its shores, women filter into one of Oakland’s hidden treasures: the Terrace Room at the Lake Merritt Hotel.

By the bar, newcomers linger at the welcome table chatting with one of the evening’s hosts, and regulars call out greetings to friends they haven’t seen for a month. Conversations begin and drink orders are placed. In the dining room below, silhouetted against a wall of glass windows facing the lake, a band sets up for the performance to come. It’s Ebabes, one of the Bay Area’s longest lasting social events for queer women and their friends, and this month, it celebrates its tenth anniversary.

One of the chief tasks of the new group was to find a permanent home.

After considering several alternatives, one of the original founders (and a current host), “DB” Bivolcic, discovered the Terrace Room, the bar and restaurant attached to the Lake Merritt Hotel. The others agreed that this was a perfect setting, and for the last ten years, Ebabes has held after-work happy hours here on the first Friday of almost every month.

Ebabes is the short form of the group’s original name: the East Bay Babes TGIF. The initial idea for the group started at a July 4th gathering in Montclair in 2008, when East Bay residents Jennifer Jones and Denise Petty lamented that most of their social lives seemed to involve trips to San Francisco. Why do we always have to cross a bridge to socialize, they wondered? Perhaps they could start something on this side of the Bay.

The Lake Merritt Hotel was designed by the well-known Bay Area architect William Weeks and was built in 1927. The bar and dining room came to prominence in the mid 1930s when an outdoor terrace was enclosed to form the Terrace Room (originally called the Cascade Terrace). The venue soon became one of the foci of Oakland’s nightlife, attracting big name performers and dance orchestras. In fact, for a time, a nightly live radio program was broadcast from the Terrace Room by the radio station KLX.

Jones and Petty decided to meet up for a happy hour at a wine bar near Broadway and Grand. Unbeknownst

PHOTO BY JO-LYNN OTTO ©SANDY MORRIS

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Nowadays, the Lake Merritt Hotel is an independent senior living community, and the Terrace Room is no longer the heart of Oakland’s social scene. However, its elegance, glamour and sense of history remain, enhanced by the beautiful murals of Lake Merritt’s shores painted by the artist Andre Boratko in 1956. Beneath these artworks, the long, undulating and cushioned benches of the bar area are a welcoming space

Founder “DB” Bivolicic often staffs the welcome table at Ebabes to greet attendees, including Suzanne Frank (left) as they arrive.

for the women of Ebabes, encouraging conversations both across and amongst the tables.

From very early on, the organizers of Ebabes realized the networking potential of their event. Within the first year, they decided to invite nonprofits to brief ly address the gathering and to stick around to answer questions.

Their first guest was Kate Kendell of the National Center for Lesbian Rights (NCLR). Eventually, the list of invitees broadened to encompass lesbian artists and lesbian owned, or focused, for-prof it businesses. Past guests include representatives from not only NCLR, but also HRC, Gaylesta, “Betty’s List,” Olivia Travel, Girlpages Network, Charlotte Maxwell Clinic, Muttville, Epochalips and many more.

San Francisco Bay Times contributor Karen Bardsley (center) joined Stacy Poulos, “DB Bivolic, Jennifer Jones and others in welcoming Olivia Travel’s Tisha Floratos (second from right) to Ebabes monthly social networking event for women.

for Ebabe’s Fridays when possible. Over the years, the organizers of Ebabes have treasured their great relationship with this management and with the bartenders, including current favorites Jackie and Jo. After over 90 successful events, Ebabes is still going strong.

“As a community building exercise,” said attendee Kathy Lemmon, “they kind of hit it out of the park.” Lemmon went on to explain that people need a “third place,” somewhere between home and work, where they can relax and build community. For the last ten years, Ebabes and the Terrace Room have been providing that space for an extended network of Bay Area women.

Olivia Travel senior vice president Tisha Floratos (right) was a featured guest at Ebabes. Accompanying her was popular DJ Rockaway (Tina Silano) who is married to Tisha. The couple was welcomed to The Terrace Room by Ebabes founder Jennifer Jones (center).

If you are interested in the group, you can e-mail them ( EBabestgif@gmail.com ) or f ind them on Meetup as On selected evenings the monthly Ebabes mixer is followed by “Ebabes TGIF Meetup” or on dancing during a live performance by popular bands, such as Facebook as “Ebabes TGIF.” Ruby’s In Town.

Karen Bardsley is an independent scholar and writer who lives in the Bay Area.

Appropriate to the venue, music has also been an important part Ebabes events. Originally, Jennifer Jones created her own Ebabes music mixes.

However, for the past few years, the Terrace Room has provided live music for most of the events. The dining room below the bar has a band stand and a sizeable dance floor, and Ebabes attendees often join in the dancing, along with other patrons of the bar and dining room. The management of the Terrace Room does their best to book lesbian musicians

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PHOTO BY SANDY MORRIS

Ebabes Turns Ten

SISTER DANA (continued from page 14) grand finale, many of the cast sang a rousing “In the Heights” from the musical of the same name. What an incredible evening!

Sister Dana Sez, “Trump has now accused the FBI and DOJ of having a ‘lingering stench.’

Well, Mr. stinky president, let us invoke that ancient accusation: ‘he who smelt it, dealt it!’”

THE SAN FRANCISCO BAY TIMES, the first newspaper for the LGBTQ community to be jointly and equally produced by women and men, continues to celebrate its 40th anniversary this year. It remains the only newspaper for the LGBT community in San Francisco that is 100% owned and operated by LGBT individuals. On September 28, at the GLBT HISTORY MUSEUM, 4127 18th Street, a living-history panel reviewed San Francisco history from 1978 as covered in the pages of the paper. The program included an impressive slide show. Among those who took part in recounting memories and discussing the significance of the publication were founding news editor Randy Alfred, founding production manager Susan Calico, founding contributor Cleve Jones, columnist and Commissioner Andrea Shorter, historian and columnist Dr. Bill Lipsky, and former columnist and current San Francisco Supervisor Rafael Mandelman.

It was a fascinating history lesson, which I will talk about in my next column, because I don’t have the column inches to properly describe the amazing experience.

Presented by OASIS SF & PEACHES CHRIST PRODUCTIONS, we enjoyed the hilarious THE ROAST OF DONNA SACHET on September 29 at the Castro Theatre, benefiting the GLBT HISTORY MUSEUM. Donna is one of my oldest and dearest friends. Did I

mention OLDEST?! (Okay, that was MY contribution to the roast. Love ya, Donna!). Roast Master comedian Bruce Vilanch floored us with his witty/dirty/funny set and brought out the LGBTQ celebs, including loving barbs against one another and then to Donna, deftly delivered

by Mark Leno, Heklina, Cleve Jones, Sister Roma, Lenny Broberg, Sharon McNight (changing the lyrics to her classic “Stand By Your Man” to relate to a man in a dress), and Jai Rodriguez (who sang to Donna the lyrics over and over “you, skanky skanky whore”).

THE SAN FRANCISCO GAY MEN’S CHORUS (of which Donna was a member and first got her drag name as Donna Winters who first sashayed in drag) performed “If You Were Gay” and a mash-up of “True Colors” (Donna’s color is, of course, RED) and “Brave” under the baton of Dr. Timothy Seelig. Donna Sachet (real name Kirk Reeves— but no one ever calls her that) has received many awards for her fundraising efforts across the community.

Speaking of her real last name, her brother, Adam Reeves, was a surprise to Donna and everyone that night, especially with his deliciously embarrassing childhood photos flashed on screen—including what he noted was her childhood home: a log cabin! Donna was also a former Grand Marshal of the San Francisco Pride Parade. And she was elected by the Imperial Court System as the 30th Absolute Empress of San Francisco, so it was appropriate that another surprise visit came from Grand Mere Empress Nicole the Great Murray-Ramirez, mother of all Imperials of the Americas, flown in from San Diego to dish dirt on everyone, and then donate a $1,000 check to the GLBT History Museum. I will say this: Donna can joke

and also take a joke. Which was what that night was all about! She roasted the roasters and then ended the show with her own specially adapted lyrics to the emotional “I’m Still Here” from the musical Follies. Yes, Donna, you are still here—and will be here for decades to come! Brava!

The 27th annual LEATHERWALK took place on Sunday, September 23, as the official kick-off for San Francisco’s LEATHER WEEK that culminated one week later at the FOLSOM STREET FAIR. Each year, hundreds of LeatherWalkers take over Market Street and march from the Castro Station to SoMa, proudly raising the Leather Flag.

This was a build-up to the world’s largest leather and fetish event, FOLSOM STREET FAIR, which took place on Sunday, September 30, from 11 am to 6 pm, on Folsom Street from 8th to 13th Streets—over 13 city blocks. Over 250,000 participated this year. It was leatherrific!

Sister Dana sez, “At the U.N., Trump rejected global thinking; while here at home, we think globally and act locally. So here are some local events you’ll want to check out.”

THE 45TH ANNUAL CASTRO STREET FAIR will take place on Sunday, October 7, 11 am to 6 pm in and around Castro and 18th Streets.

They ask for a suggested donation of $5 or $10 at the entry gates, going to a whole lot of charitable organizations. https://castrostreetfair.org/fair October 11 is NCOD (NATIONAL COMING OUT DAY), so even if you’re already out, try to come out even more. For instance, prepare yourselves for a National Coming Out Day rendition of QUEER SLAM on Thursday October 11, 6–9 pm in the Rainbow Room at the SF LBGT Center. The poetry should

reflect QUEER SLAM’s “Coming Out Story” theme. https://bit.ly/2Rpjmyn October is nationally recognized annually and officially as LGBTQ HISTORY MONTH. This October 12 marks 20 years since the death of Matthew Shepard, followed shortly by the founding of the MATTHEW SHEPARD FOUNDATION www.matthewshepard.org Drag queens (and kings!) interested in performing at this year’s DRAG QUEENS ON ICE are invited to submit a video by Sunday, October 14. Online voting is open to the public beginning Monday, October 15 through Friday, October 26. Winners will be selected and announced on Wednesday, November 7, at the opening ceremony for The Safeway Holiday Ice Rink in Union Square. https://bit.ly/2Nlzqhq PRC (POSITIVE RESOURCE CENTER) invites you to join them for the MIGHTY REAL Gala taking place on Friday, October 12, at San Francisco’s Four Seasons Hotel. This year, PRC has much to celebrate as they continue their double merger with AIDS EMERGENCY FUND and BAKER PLACES and they unveil the plans for their new consolidated service center at 170 9th Street. They hope to raise $250,000 for PRC’s lifesaving HIV/AIDS, mental health and substance use services as well as the infrastructure to support those programs. https://bit.ly/2Qq9bIL With ELECTION DAY weeks away, the Castro now offers the RED TO BLUE SF office for Democratic volunteers. Red to Blue SF is a popup at 2390 Market Street, the former Pottery Barn space that most recently served as the headquarters for mayoral candidate Mark Leno.

Phone-banking will focus on eight swing Congressional districts in California that the national Democratic party has identified as high-priority. https://bit.ly/2P8Un0Z SPARK! 2018 promises to be the biggest to date. Get your tickets today to join TLC (TRANSGENDER LAW CENTER) and Laverne Cox as they come together to ignite change and do what it takes to keep transgender and gender nonconforming people alive, thriving and fighting for liberation. “SPARK” is Thursday, October 18, 6 pm at The Bently Reserve, 301 Battery Street. https://bit.ly/2ju5Fza October 18 is national SPIRIT DAY, when everyone wears purple.

Spirit Day is a means of speaking out against LGBTQ bullying and standing with LGBTQ youth, who disproportionately face bullying and harassment because of their identities.

Pledging to “go purple” on Spirit Day is a way for everyone—forwardthinking companies, global leaders, respected celebrities, neighbors, parents, classmates and friends—to visibly show solidarity with LGBTQ youth and to take part in the largest, most visible anti-bullying campaign in the world. https://bit.ly/2Qnu7A6 Sister Dana sez, “Repugnicans are plotting to cram through ANOTHER tax giveaway for the rich while the media’s attention is on breaking news of more sexual assault allegations against Brett Kavanaugh. And their scheme calls for slashing $1.3 trillion from safety net programs like Social Security. Give us a break!”

ROSTOW (continued from page 15) illegal in most places and domestic partnerships were basically all we had. That’s no longer the case. Get married. By the way, I am assuming that there are no exceptions for heterosexual diplomats with “life partners” or “longtime companions” or what have you. And I am also assuming that there are no barriers to bringing your partner to the United States, getting married and then obtaining the visa.

Show Us the Money Returning to the Supreme Court for just a minute, I read that the justices declined to hear the appeal of a decision by the Arkansas Supreme

Court to deny lawyers’ fees to civil libertarians who successfully argued a gay marriage claim last year. To put it another way, the Arkansas Supreme Court has basically stolen $220,000 out of the bank account of the National Center for Lesbian Rights. It’s outrageous!

Lawyers get paid by the loser when they win civil rights cases, where plaintiffs are often those with few resources and defendants are often rich bureaucracies of one sort or another. Here, the lawyers sued the state of Arkansas after Hog State authorities refused to recognize a legal spouse/ parent on a birth certificate. Arkan-

sas lost. Arkansas appealed to the Supreme Court, which issued an immediate decision upholding the marriage rights of the two women in question.

Arkansas then refused to pay the women’s legal bills. Finally, the state supreme court backed the state government’s miserly stance without explanation. Now the High Court airily waves its hand in dismissal and can’t be bothered to look into it. Maybe I’m missing something again, but this annoys me far more than the G-4 visa story.

Odense Zoo took advantage of parental inattention and stole a baby penguin when it was unattended for a brief period of time. According to press reports, the mother went for a bath, and the father got tired of watching the little one and went off on his own to swim. Wasting no time, the chick-nappers made their move, one of them maneuvering the baby between his f lippers and shuff ling away while the other shuff led closely in the rear. (There’s a video of the whole thing.)

Pingu Has Two Daddies

The parents spent a day without their offspring, with the mother looking around sadly and the father seemingly indifferent to the loss. Eventually, the parents found the baby and got it back after a scuffle, but zookeepers said they would have let the two males keep the chick if the original parents had not claimed it themselves. The keepers also decided to give the males an egg of their own from a new mother who was not able to care for it.

Here’s some news we can use. In Denmark, two gay penguins at the

Bonus to any readers who are familiar with Pingu.

Yes, Elephants Am I the last person to hear about Drag Queen Story Hour, the brainchild of San Francisco’s own Michelle Tea, which has now spread across the country? The program brings drag queen narrators to local libraries to read to kids. Apparently, the interest in the October 6 event in Lafayette, Louisiana, is so high that story hour had to be moved from the library to the local community college auditorium.

The Louisiana performance will feature Strictly No Elephants, the tale of a boy who is not allowed to bring his tiny elephant to the club and who hooks up with a girl and her skunk.

Then we have The Rainbow Fish, a fish who is shunned because he won’t part with his colorful scales, but then gives 28

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them away. And this will be followed by some other heartwarming tales of tolerance and outsiders. I think it’s all lovely, but my eye was caught by the dateline. Lafayette, Louisiana. Where had I just read about that town?

Oh my God! A quick search reveals that a gadf ly lawyer with questionable credentials had filed a lawsuit to prevent Drag Queen Story Hour from coming to town. According to the lengthy complaint, the program consists of “self-identified transgenders exploiting the state’s endorsement of their religious ideology in a government endorsed effort to brainwash and indoctrinate minors to religious worldviews on sex, faith, truth, gender, morality and marriage in a manner that excessively entangles the government with the religion of postmodern-western-individualistic-moral relativism.”

Woah, Nelly!

From what I can tell, the complaint didn’t get any traction, and the prospect of Story Hour also survived “a tense debate at the library board.”

And obviously, as reported to begin with, the event is headed for the big stage later this week. Indeed, Drag Queen Story Hour has been stirring people up across the South in a good way, because what could be more adorable than drag queens asking a bunch of three-year-olds to scream out their favorite ice cream flavor? As one tot told The New York Times back in 2017, “Drag queens make story time funner.” arostow@aol.com

SEELIG (continued from page 19) really doesn’t matter when you are faced with your own huge mistake and the lifelong repercussions of it.

It’s just you and your life and your choice in that room with you.

make a choice that was best for everyone. What would I tell others in the same situation? Trust your gut.

Had I gone through with having the baby, it would have crushed me. I would have loved the baby, I think, but I would have hated my life. Had I gone ahead with the pregnancy, that child would have entered the world with a child for a mother. I wouldn’t have grown up. I may have never been a practicing nurse taking care of kids with cancer for the last 20 years.

I would not have met and married my soulmate, who also spends his life in pediatric oncology. I may have never had a baby that I really, really wanted. I really, really want my little girl every second of every day.

If you have an abortion, you are not ruined. You will not be mangled. You may lose some friends. If you do, they weren’t your friends.

You can still carry a life and bear a beautiful child and you can heal.

I would never tell anyone how to believe or what they should think.

I do hope, however, that sharing this incredibly painful chapter of my life and the fact that 2 decades later I would have done the same thing, may give someone out there hope in the decision that they are making. I will also fight for every woman’s right to make her own decision, should they find themselves as I found myself on that life-altering New Year’s Day.

Looking back these 20 years now, I don’t have answers. I do know that I am so very grateful that I lived in a time and a country where it was my choice. I made a mistake.

I owned up to that. I was able to

That’s my girl. Brave. Courageous, Vulnerable. And, a healer. And, she’s an Activist. She also ascribes to her Dad’s deeply-held belief that it is only when we are willing to tell our stories—the good and the bad—that

we are able to move the needle and change a little part of the world.

Of course, I knew my side of the story, but it was not until recently that I knew the details from Corianna’s side. I wept when reading it. No parent wants their child to experience such pain. That brings me back to a quick recap of my own experience that fateful night when my views on abortion changed forever.

It was a Tuesday night—rehearsal night for my chorus. At the end of rehearsal, my partner said, “We’re going to J.R.’s for a drink.” (It was Dallas, after all.). That was unusual because it wasn’t something we ever did, but I just guessed he had some reason, and a cocktail after a long rehearsal was a good thing. When we arrived, two of our best friends were there and the big surprise: so was my daughter, Corianna. Had I missed a birthday? From their faces, it did not look like a party. We joined them at the table. They had already ordered us drinks.

We had been through a lot in our lives—coming out, divorce, bank-

LIPSKY (continued from page 18)

I watched her go through her own steps of dealing with this—only standing guard from a distance and being willing to step in at any moment. But, she really didn’t need that.

Whatever decision she made would change our lives forever. We all discussed the options and left with none chosen. She did that on her own.

I went through my own thoughts in the days that followed. Was I ready to be a grandfather? I thought I was,

but I really wasn’t. How would I feel should she have decided to end the pregnancy? Would I be ashamed or embarrassed? I did a great deal of soul searching myself.

I watch her now. I watch her be the most amazing woman and mother.

I see a woman for whom every bone in her body just screams Mom! I see this beautiful woman who would not be the same had she not made this choice. And, because of her courageous decision back then, I now have Clara!

We live in a world where women are standing up with courage on a daily basis. It was not that way 20 years ago when Corianna went through this trauma. She is my hero.

Am I pro-choice? Hell, yes! And I’m ready to continue helping in the fight to make sure other daughters have the same choice my little frightened girl had 20 years ago.

Please vote.

Dr. Tim Seelig is the Artistic Director of the San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus.

DONNA SACHET (continued from page 17)

Her colleague and lover Alexander Berkman (1870–1936) in 1915 gave the earliest known lecture in San Francisco supporting sexual freedom for homosexuals. The U. S. government deported the couple in 1919.

as gay men to arrest them and charge them with lewd behavior continued for many years, however.

First Fundraiser in the U.S. for a Gay Cause

In 1954, the weekly Los Angelesbased program Confidential File included an episode that was almost certainly the first discussion of homosexuality on broadcast television.

Hosted by homophobic newspaper reporter Paul Coates (1921–1968), the tabloid-style “newscast” aired Homosexuals and the Problem They Present, which showed men who love men as being a “social problem.” A followup segment, Homosexuals Who Stalk and Molest Children, was televised in 1955.

Dancer and choreographer Lester Horton (1906–1953) staged the first benefit performance for gay civil rights, raising money for the Mattachine Society to fight the Los Angeles Police Department’s notorious campaign of entrapment to “combat the homosexual scourge.” The May 23, 1953, event brought in some $500 to help the organization. The policy of having undercover officers pose

ruptcy, family drama galore. All of this had drawn us closer. Perhaps some of that helped us through this moment. In usual Corianna fashion, she did not beat around the bush. She said, “Dad, I’m pregnant.” The earth did not open up or the sky fall. All I can remember thinking was how much I loved this girl of mine and wanted to protect her. I had somehow failed in that in this moment. But my next thought—and I hope actions showed—was: THERE IS NOTHI NG SHE COU L D EV ER DO THAT WOULD MAKE ME REMOVE MY LOVE FROM HER. I think she knew—and knows—that.

First Television Program to Discuss Homosexuality

Lester Horton

Bill Lipsky, Ph.D., author of “Gay and Lesbian San Francisco” (2006), is a member of the Rainbow Honor Walk board of directors.

Damiani, Ken Ferraris & Matt McColland, Arthur Mainster, Steve Gay nes & R icha rd Bol ingbroke, K ippy Marks, Barry Miles, Patrik Gallineaux, Skye Paterson, Patrick Noonan, Dave Rhoades, Ingu Yun, and City Supervisors Jane K im and Rafael Mandelman. On display were visuals representing the Eagle Plaza project and the current exhibit about Gilbert Baker’s rainbow flag at the San Francisco International Airport. After a warm start, the crowd spilled into the huge street fair and surrounding bars and parties.

Lots of events are coming up and are featured in the nearby listing, so we expect to see you out there joining the

party, contributing to the cause and helping to keep San Francisco the amazing place it is!

We cannot close without acknowledging the death of longtime resident of San Francisco, frequent customer of 440 Castro, and friend to so many Bob Quinn. He brightened many lives in simple ways and will be long remembered.

Donna Sachet is a celebrated performer, fundraiser, activist and philanthropist who has dedicated over two decades to the LGBTQ Community in San Francisco. Contact her at empsachet@gmail.com

Randy Coleman hails from New York, but has lived in San Francisco since 1975. Coleman shares that before moving to the Bay Area, he studied Art History and Architecture at Boston University while working as a resident artist for architectural rendering at a Massachusetts historical society. “All of my life I’ve been an artist,” Coleman says. “To know me is to know that I have a passion for art and architecture. I love this project for the San Francisco Bay Times, and hope that you enjoy my sketches.”

SF Sketch Randy Coleman

KIT’N KITTY’S

QUEER POP QUIZ ANSWER (Question on pg 21) D) Slay

© Randy Coleman, 2018

During the 2016 season finale of Strut, the International Creative Director for Spiegel comes to Slay and selects model Arisce Wanzer to be featured as the first trans cover girl for an American catalog company.

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LGBTQ News & Calendar for the Bay Area CELEBRATING FOUR DECADES (1978–2018)

COMING UP

Compiled by Blake Dillon

CALENDAR OF UPCOMING EVENTS http://sfbaytimes.com/ OCTOBER

4 Thursday Indigenous Two Spirit Peoples Day @ SF Main Public Library, Latino/Hispanic Rooms A&B, 100 Larkin Street. Moderated by Gay American Indians co-founder Randy Burns, the event will include an hour of short film screenings followed by a panel discussion about cultural identities, AIDS, gender and race relations. 3:30-6:30pm. http://www.sfpl.org Castro Art Walk @ Multiple Castro Locations. Artists welcome guests to participating locations to view their work with live music in Jane Warner Plaza by Kitten on the Keys. 6-7pm. http:/www.castroartwalk Compassion Is UniversalShanti’s 44th Anniversary Gala @ The Palace Hotel, 2 New Montgomery Street. Honoring Jerry Francone and Supervisor Jane Kim with a performance by Breanna Sinclaire. 6pm. http://www.shanti.org Honoring Julius Turman: Reflections on Intersectional Advocacy @ Pillsbury Winthrop Shaw Pittman, 4 Embarcadero Ctr. Hosted by Bay Area Lawyers for Individual Freedom and the Charles Houston Bar Association, the event features a panel discussion with

Susan Christian, David Tsai, Angela Padillla and David Campos with moderator Brandon Lawrence.

6-8:30pm. http://www.balif.org Hedwig and the Angry Itch Live Performance @ Victoria Theatre, 2961 16th Street. Ray of Light Theatre presents this gender- and genre-bending feast about the tale of one of the Eastern Bloc’s most unique characters. 8-10pm until October 6. http://www.victoriatheatre.org Throwback Thursdays at Virgil’s: Ladykiller! @ Virgil’s Sea Room, 3152 Mission Street.

Electroclash is the genre for this edition of the 1st Thursday event, hosted by Yves Saint Croissant with featured musicians, photobooth and cocktail specials. http://www.virgilssf.com Castro Rotary Club @ The Sausage Factory, 517 Castro Street.

Join LGBT Rotarians on 1st and 3rd Tuesdays and learn about current projects and volunteer opportunities. 6:30-8pm. https://portal.clubrunner.ca/13807

5 Friday The Kinsey Sicks 25th Anniversary Show & Rachel’s Farewell! @ Marines Memorial Theatre, 609 Sutter Street.

America’s Favorite Dragapella Beautyshop Quartet will reprise their critically acclaimed show Things You Shouldn’t Say about four friends who had a life-changing epiphany at a Bette Midler concert. 8pm and repeats 3pm and 9pm on October 6. http:///www.kinseysicks.com Fun Home @ Mountain View Center for Performing Arts, 500 Castro Street, Mountain View.

Based on the graphic novel by Alison Bechdel, the show won five Tony Awards, including Best Musical, and presents the story of a loving, dysfuncational family.

Performances through October 28. http://www.theatreworks.org

6 Saturday

(Re)Call Counternarratives Exhibit Opening Reception @ Lindsay Dirkx Brown Art Gallery, 12501, San Ramon.

Curated by Pallavi Sharma, the exhibit includes works by LGBT community favorite Lenore Chinn and others. 2-4pm. Exhibit continues through October 29. lenorechinn@sbcglobal.net

The Goat, or Who is Sylvia? @ Custom Made Theatre, 533 Sutter Street. The 2002 Tony Award winner for Best Play, Edward Albee’s work addresses the unconventional love of a goat by a man who lives with his loving wife and gay teenage son.

Continues through October 20. http://www.custommade.org

Beer Bust Fundraiser for Castro Cares @ Beaux, 2344 Market Street. Guest emcee Au Jus welcomes the Dance Off between Team Mandelman and Team Wiener. 4-7pm. http://www.castrocares.org/

Unleash Dance Party @ Ivy Room, 860 San Pablo Avenue, Albany. Hosted by DJ Page Hodel, the event is a mingle and dance at a woman-owned venue. 4-8pm. http://www.ivyroom.com.

Horizons Foundation Gala @ The Fairmont San Francisco, 950 Mason. An annual celebration not to be missed, the year’s Gala will honor activist Gavin Grimm and author, playwright and trailblazer Jewelle Gomez.

6-11:45pm. http://www.horizonsfoundation.org O C TO B E R 4 , 2 0 1 8

Castro Street Fair @ Castro and 18th Streets. The longstanding street fair founded by Harvey Milk continues with live entertainment including dancing, flagging and more; merchandise and food vendors; information and exhibit booths. 11am-6pm. http://www.castrostreetfair.org Pain Free Clinic Fundraiser @ Hotel Via’s Rooftop Lounge, 138 King Street. The event is an opportunity to support the Clinic that provides much needed services to people struggling with chronic pain. 3-6pm. http://painfreeclinic.org

Hey Girl Hey First Saturday Party @ ERA Art Bar, 19 Grand Avenue, Oakland. An LGBTQAAIPTS happy hour, meet, mingle and dance. 5-9pm.

Hey Girl Hey on Facebook.

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Sonoma Gaydar End of Summer Pool Party & Dance @ Fountaingrove Lodge, 4210 Thomas Lake Harris Drive, Santa Rosa. Dance music by DJ Dave Brown. 2-6pm. Sonoma GayDar on Facebook

Mr & Miss Gay San Francisco Pageant @ Hamburger Mary’s, 531 Castro Street. Sponsored by the Imperial Council of SF and featuring a Moulin Rouge theme, the event will be emceed by Misty Blue and includes contestants vying for titles. 4:30pm. http://www.imperialcouncilsf.org

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Latin InspirationsCommunity Fall Concert @ Everett Middle School, 450 Church Street. The annual autumn concert of the San Francisco Lesbian/Gay Freedom Band, the program will feature works by Gershwin, Chavez and Suesse.6pm. http://www.sflgfb.org

Ruby’s In Town R&B Band @ Ashkenaz, 1317 San Pablo Avenue, Berkeley. The mostly lesbian band will perform. 7-9pm. http://ww.ashkenaz.com

8 Monday Varsity Gay League Dodgeball @ Eureka Valley Rec Center, 100 Collingwood Street.

Back to Fall Dodgeball every Monday at the Rec Center located in the Castro neighborhood.

7-10pm. https://bit.ly/2pkiPRt

9 Tuesday Durst Case Scenario: Midterm Madness @ The Marsh San Francisco, 1062 Valencia Street. Written and performed by political comedian Will Durst, the show analyzes where America and society stand post-election. Tuesdays through October 30. 8pm.

10 Wednesday Bingo @ Billy DeFrank LGBTQ Community Center, 938 The Alameda, San Jose. Gay Bingo every Wednesday and Drag Queen Bingo every 3rd Wednesday each month brings you bingo, cherry bells, snacks and networking. Early Bird: 6:30pm / Regular Game: 7pm. http://www.defrankcenter.org LGBT Alumni Tango FixGay & Queer Men’s Tango for Absolute Beginners @ Studio Valencia, 455A Valencia Street. Weekly Wednesday night classes are available for beginners and more experienced too.

Partners and dance shoes not required. 8-10pm. scowls@alumni.princeton.edu

11 Thursday NightLife Live: Kevin Morby, Hannah van Loon and More @ California Academy of Sciences, Golden Gate Park, 55 Music Concourse Drive. The final Live NightLife performances of the year will present multiple musicians, including folk-rock singer/songwriter Kevin Morby, musician Hannah van Loon and all-girl collective Chulita Vinyl Club. 6-10pm. http://www. calacademy.org Bravo 26 @ The Marsh San Francisco, 1062 Valencia. A solo show by Eliza Gibson. 8pm Thursdays and 5pm Saturdays through October 27. http://www.elizagibsonperforms.com Comedy at Ashkenaz! @ Ashkenaz Music & Dance Community Center, 1317 San Pablo Avenue, Berkeley. Hosted

by Lisa Geduldig, the one-year anniversary show features an allstar cast with Diane Amos, Marga Gomez, Karen Ripley and more.

8-10pm. http://www.ashkenaz.com

12 Friday OUTwatch 2018-Wine Country’s LGBTQI Film Festival @ Rialto Cinemas, Sebastopol. A schedule of seven selected films will be screened during the three-day event. http://www.outwatchfilmfest.org EBabes @ The Terrace Room, Lake Merritt Hotel, 1800 Madison Street, Oakland. The popular monthly networking event for women will be celebrating its 10th anniversary. 6-8pm.

Ebabes TGIF on Facebook PRC MIghty Real Gala @ Four Seasons Hotel, 757 Market

Street. Featuring a reception, live and silent auctions and dinner followed by dancing with DJ Lamont, the evening celebrates PRC’s restructuring and goals for the future. 6pm. http://www.prcsf.org Ferron and Her All-Star Band @ Freight & Salvage, 2020 Addison Street, Berkeley. The Canadian singer-songwriter brings her show to the East Bay. 8pm continuing on Saturday, October 13. http://www.thefreight.org

13 Saturday

17 Wednesday Castro Farmers’ Market @ 16th and Beaver Streets. The Castro neighborhood’s Farmers’ Market has begun a new season with fresh veggies, fruits, crafts and artisan-made goodies. 4-8pm.

Castro Farmers’ Market on Facebook ALRP 35th Annual Reception & Auction @ The Julia Morgan Ballroom, 365 California Street, 15th Floor.

Hosted by the AIDS Legal Referral

Panel, including amazing food and wines, awards presentations and more. 6-9pm. http://www.alrp.org Smack Dab Open Mic @ Dog Eared Books Castro, 489 Castro Street. Featured artists will be M.J. Arcangelini and Trebor Healey plus others presenting writings, comedy, music, performance and more. 8pm. http://www.doearedbooks.com Queeraoke-Miss Thing Can Sing! @ El Rio, 3158 Mission. A weekly event with rotating hosts, laughter and song. 9pm. http://www.elriosf.co

Cuddle Me Festival @ San Francisco SPCA, 201 Alabama Street. Celebrating 150 years of serving San Francisco’s animals and the people who love them, the day will include cuddle lounges, costume contsts, yoga with cats, paint your pet and more activities for all ages. 10am-3pm. http://www.sfspca.org Second Saturday Rainbow Lunch @ All Saints Episcopal Church, 911 Dowling Blvd, San Leandro. Organized by Lavender Seniors, the event includes a buffet lunch followed by announcements and a program. Bring a dish to share if you wish. Noon-2pm. http://www.lavenderseniors.org Imperial Court Monthly Fundraiser @ Beaux, 2344 Market Street. It’s Emperors’ Night Out as well as the monthly fundraiser benefiting the Shanti Project that provides much needed services to people with terminal, lifethreatening or disabling conditions or illnesses. 3pm. http://www.imperialcourtsf.org Poetry Open Mic for Women @ Plymouth Jazz & Justice Church, 424 Monte Vista, Oakland. Singer/songwriter Irina Rivkin is the featured guest at Works in Progress Open Mic for poetry, prose, music and more.

7:30pm. http://www.irinarivkin.com

14 Sunday Queer Resource Center Beer/Soda Bust @ SF Eagle, 398 12th Street. Hosted by Lady Katrina and Beth Bicoastal. 3-6pm. http:/www.eaglesf.com China Silk’s 39th Birthday (Again!) @ Aunt Charlies Lounge, 133 Turk Street. Benefiting the José Serria Charitable Giving Fund and the Annual Cemetery Pilgrimage, the event will feature emcees Emperor Jp Soto and Empress Misty Blue, 4-7pm. http://www.imperialcouncilsf.org Showgirl Sundays: Broadway Divas @ White Horse Bar, 6551 Telegraph Avenue, Oakland. The 2nd Sunday of each month drag show, featuring for April a line-up of Broadway hits. 9:30pm. http://www.whitehorsebar.com

15 Monday Mister Sister Mondays @ Midnight Sun, 4067 18th Street.

Rupaul’s Drag Race RUviewing Party. 9pm-2am. http://www.midnightsunsf.com

16 Tuesday Youth HIV/AIDS Awareness Day Resource Fair @ SF LGBT Center, 1800 Market Street. Free HIV testing, networking and more plus weekly Meal Night for youth.

5-7pm. http://www.youthaidsday.org San Francisco Opera presents Strauss’ Arabella @ San Francisco War Memorial Opera House, 301 Van Ness Avenue. A pre-opera talk will be presented by a noted music educator prior to each performance scheduled through S AN F R ANC IS C O BAY T IM ES

O C TO BER 4, 2018

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