San Francisco Bay Times - May 16, 2019

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LGBTQ News & Calendar for the Bay Area

CELEBRATING FOUR DECADES (1978–2019)

COVER ART BY DEBRA WALKER

May 16–29, 2019 | http://sfbaytimes.com

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NCLR ANNIVERSARY

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LGBTQ News & Calendar for the Bay Area CELEBRATING FOUR DECADES (1978–2019)

NCLR Grew Out of a Passion for Justice

By Roberta Achtenberg, Esq., and The Honorable Donna Hitchens

NATIONAL CENTER FOR LESBIAN RIGHTS

Forty-two years ago, with the support of Equal Rights Advocates, we founded the Lesbian Rights Project to secure the parenting rights of lesbian mothers who were losing custody of their kids as they came out. This effort soon expanded to include advocacy for the rights of all LGBT people. The National Center for Lesbian Rights (NCLR) grew out of a commitment and passion for justice for LGBT people and our families.

NCLR Embarks on a New Chapter

By Cindy L. Myers, PhD

this letter, as I’m so humbled and honored to be writing I’m near to NCL R’s Inter im Executive Director, that a job—it’s a speechless. This job is so much more than I will steward covenant with a community; a promise that way I can, for this incredible organization in the very best “anx iety” and all our sakes. Someone told me once that in the brain. “excitement” are very nearly the same thing my feelings e Somewhere in between the two, that’s wher entous mom this at live about this awesome responsibi lity moment in time. on a new chap I’m excited because NCL R is embarking endless. Our ter in leadership and the possibilit ies seem odical approach Board of Directors is taking a very meth job is to keep le they embark on a national search, my to selecting its next Executive Director. Whi le a new ns to our operations that might better enab the wheels turning and make any adaptatio e success. leader to land here smoothly and experienc litar y ban in some quar ters of our world. The trans-mi I’m anxious because the winds blow cold s for transision prov draw with will announced that it is in effect. The Trump Administration has TQ+ are LGB et. budg n’s ratio inist Human Serv ices Adm gender healt h care from the Hea lth and er than ever. d—and seek ing asylum here is now hard subjected to violence all around the worl world ltaneously wonderful and scary to view the This is the yin and yang of NCL R: it’s simu world I’d rather be. from this seat. And there’s nowhere in the than just this moment lives within US. US is more The power to conquer the threats and own a part of the of our parts. Ever yone at NCL R is driving me and you; US is greater than the sum we work with. d, the plaintiffs in our cases, the partners work—the staff, the supporters, the Boar the Arizona cles. (Think: Two weeks after filing suit, Together we are accomplishing near mira issues. and le d posit ive references to LGBTQ+ peop Legislature repealed a law that prohibite by issue, issue and, dow n a hosti le federal administration TWO WEEKS!) Together we are facing history with ity mun is a strong, diverse and vibrant com securing our rights. The sum total of US ing. winn and try country taking on LGBTQ+ bigo on its side and the best legal talent in the in the offtrue—but in the long run, we see victory The transgender military ban is a setback, the glass tment of that ban for two years, we consider ing. Because we managed to stave off enac the same ers and sisters can serve open ly and enjoy half full. We won’t quit until our trans broth wincase, terparts enjoy. As long as NCL R is on the responsibi lities and privi leges their cis coun ning is just a matter of time. the reins of Director in January 2020, I will hand them So, when we welcome our new Executive we meet n Whe y. icker ass-k of a long and rich history this movement-leading organization with ny; of tyran over om freed of ry victo will celebrate the in May for our 42nd Anniversary Gala, we . hope over circumstance; of love over hate essential ideas, your presence in this movement are Your role in this is vital. Your support, your , cele18th May floor e. I want to see you on the dance to NCL R and the ass-k icking yet to com t to nigh a be to g goin It’s in the energy that is NCL R. brating your own bad-asser y and reveling remember!

Since 1977, NCLR has been advancing LGBTQ equality and intersectional feminism. NCLR has brought landmark court cases that secured parenting and adoption rights for LGBTQ families and protections for LGBTQ youth. NCLR represented same-sex couples in the California marriage case before the California State Supreme Court and was a key part of the team of attorneys that secured the freedom to marry in the 2015 Supreme Court decision Obergefell v. Hodges.

Over the last 40 years, NCLR has expanded the organization’s team and toolset to include a combination of litigation, legislation, policy and public education to address a range of issues facing the LGBTQ community, including immigration, employment, healthcare, housing, parenting, incarceration, sports and barriers faced by transgender youth.

Each year, NCLR shapes the legal landscape for all LGBT people and families across the nation through its precedent-setting litigation, legislation, policy, and public education. For more than four decades, NCLR has led historic cases, and it is still blazing trails in pursuit of justice, fairness and legal protections for all LGBT people.

For more information on the founding of NCLR: https://bit.ly/2JkvkZw

We Belong at the Table

By Tyrone Hanley When I went to law school, there was that initial reaction of: Oh! There are already too many lawyers in Washington! But guess what? There weren’t—and still aren’t—many lawyers who are gay and Black, grew up poor, and were raised by a Black lesbian mom. I think the policymaking world needs more people with my lived experiences because that’s what has been missing.

We need to be at the table.

Even though a person can understand poverty from an academic and theoretical standpoint, I don’t think someone can fully grasp the emotional and mental side of it: the fears, the shame and the stress of survival. These things impact the decisions that poor people make every day, including decisions that may not seem rational to someone who has never experienced poverty. Therefore, it is important for the people that have experienced poverty to be at the forefront of this fight. And that’s why I’m here!

My message to underrepresented students who are thinking about entering the policy and/or legal profession is: Yes, you DO belong here. The system might not welcome us, but it does not mean that we don’t belong. I will be the first to acknowledge that a career in policy or law can be a rough and alienating path for the most marginalized. I seriously considered dropping out two months into my first semester of law school. I was like, “What am I doing here? What is going on? I can’t get this. I don’t understand what these people are talking about.”

Now, I work on policies that center members of the LGBTQ community with the most at stake. Every day is different, and I work to raise the profile of issues that I am passionate about, such as LGBTQ poverty and the criminalization of LGBTQ people and those living with HIV. It was really hard to get to where I am today, but I am so thankful that I never gave up and that I can do the work that I do now.

I believe that we are constantly going through a learning process. And as challenging as it can be at times, I highly encourage people to enjoy the never-ending learning journey that is social justice policy work. There are going to be good days, and bad days, and everything in between, but this work is worth it. I am regularly reminded that I do my best work when I am being my authentic self and permitting myself to be vulnerable with my colleagues.

Tyrone Hanley is the Senior Policy Counsel at NCLR, where he focuses on the criminalization of queer/trans sexuality and those living with HIV and LGBTQ poverty. Hanley was a creator of the #EndBadHIVLaws campaign with the Center for HIV Law & Policy and Human Rights Campaign. He was also a co-author of the first national LGBTQ poverty agenda, “Intersecting Injustice: A National Call to Action, Addressing LGBTQ Poverty and Economic Justice for All,” and is a co-founder of the National LGBTQ Anti-Poverty Action Network.

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NCLR ANNIVERSARY

I Survived Eight Years of Conversion Therapy, But I Fought Back

By Kate McCobb

SPQROBIN/WIKIPEDIA COMMONS

My name is Kate McCobb and I survived eight years of conversion therapy.

This is my story.

In 2006, when I was 25, I began seeing a therapist who fixated on the fact I was a lesbian—even though I didn’t seek counseling about that. He insisted that my attraction to women was pathological, a result of childhood sexual abuse, even though I had no memories of that at all.

He claimed that with his help, my brain could be “rewired” to reveal my “true self”—a heterosexual woman. Through individual and group sessions, he encouraged me to become “more feminine”—to lose weight, grow out my hair, change my wardrobe ... and date men. He convinced me that I was sick and that I could change.

For eight years, I tried. But I moved to another state in 2014 and began seeing a new therapist the following spring. It was from my new therapist that I discovered that “conversion therapy” was considered unethical and harmful by all of the major medical and mental health associations. And it began to dawn on me that my old therapist’s attempts to change my sexual orientation were not just useless but dangerous.

That’s when I found NCLR. Initially, I was filled with shame as I told my story—I still largely blamed myself. But from my first interaction with the NCLR attorneys, I was treated with tenderness and respect. Most importantly, I was validated as a queer person in a way that I had not experienced ever in my life, least of all from strangers.

These brilliant lawyers suggested a new approach with my case, arguing that the more than $70,000 I’d paid for therapy constituted consumer fraud. When they drafted my complaint, I cried when I read it.

I was so struck by how NCLR’s legal team, representing me free of charge, invested so much time and effort truly understanding my story and building a strong case against my former therapist.

Conversion Therapy Map showing cities, counties and states that have enacted laws against the method.

(Updated 4.29.19)

My story has a happy ending. On February 26, 2019, we reached a settlement and I can move on with my life.

I know that what I went through was terrible. But I also know that I am very privileged to have had the opportunity to work with NCLR and to be a part of what is a very important movement to discredit and end a destructive and worthless practice.

There aren’t many lawyers who represent their clients for free. Our community is under attack, and there are too many vulnerable young LGBTQ people who are being harmed even as I write this.

I will be forever grateful to NCLR, and I hope this settlement encourages others to step forward and fight. I know that what I went through was terrible—no one knows it better than I do, but I also know that I am very privileged to have had the opportunity to work with NCLR and to be a part of what is a very important movement to discredit and end a pernicious and worthless practice.

NCLR in the Courts

E.L. v. V.L. V.L. and E.L. were in a long-term, same-sex relationship in which they raised three children together using a sperm donor. To ensure that both had secure parental rights, V.L., the non-biological mother, adopted the couple’s three children in Georgia in 2007, with EL’s support and written consent. When the two later broke up, E.L. kept V.L. from seeing the children, fighting her request for visitation, and arguing that the Georgia adoption was invalid in Alabama, where they live. NCLR joined as counsel when V.L appealed her case to Alabama’s highest court.

The Alabama Supreme Court issued an order refusing to recognize V.L.’s Georgia adoption and declaring that it is “void.” Even though V.L. raised the children from birth and both women participated in the adoption hearing and consented to the adoption, the Court broke with more than a century of precedent requiring states to honor court judgements from other states. Disregarding this clear precedent, the Alabama Supreme Court ruled that Alabama can treat the adoption as void based on the Alabama Supreme Court’s view that the Georgia court should not have granted the adoption in 2007.

November 2015: NCLR filed a cert petition in the case, asking the U.S. Supreme Court to review the Alabama Supreme Court decision, and for an emergency order permitting V.L. to visit her children while her appeal was pending.

December 2015: SCOTUS granted V.L.’s request for an emergency order permitting her to visit her three adopted children.

The order suspended the Alabama Supreme Court decision refusing to recognize the mother’s adoption so that she could have visitation pending SCOTUS’ consideration of her case.

March 2016: SCOTUS unanimously reversed the Alabama Supreme Court decision refusing to recognize V.L.’s prior adoption of her three children in Georgia. The summary reversal restored V.L.’s full rights as an adoptive parent.

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The impact of the SCOTUS decision is huge.

It ensures that second parent adoption judgments from one state must be recognized in all other states. This means that same-sex couples have security knowing that they can travel from state to state without having their adoptions questioned in states that do not process second parent adoptions. The decision goes far beyond Alabama and impacts same-sex couples nationwide. More broadly, this decision emphatically underscored the reach and authority of Obergefell v. Hodges (the landmark civil rights case concerning samesex marriage).

Pavan v. Smith Marisa and Terrah Pavan were legally married in New Hampshire in 2011. The Pavans were living in Arkansas in 2015 when Terrah gave birth to their daughter. Marisa and Terrah jointly planned their daughter’s conception and arranged for an anonymous sperm donor. They completed the application to receive a birth certificate at the hospital when their daughter was born, listing both women as parents on the application. However, when the Arkansas Department of Health issued the child’s birth certificate, it did not include Marisa’s name on the birth certificate and named Terrah as the only parent.

Leigh and Jana Jacobs were legally married in Iowa in 2010. They too were living in Arkansas when Leigh gave birth to their son in 2015. As with the Pavans, both parents arranged and paid for an anonymous sperm donor. Again, despite the Jacobs’ request that they both be placed on the birth certificate, they were issued a birth certificate naming only Leigh on their son’s birth certificate.

The Jacobses and Pavans filed a lawsuit in Arkansas state court against the director of the Arkansas Department of Health seeking a declaration that Arkansas’ birth certificate law violated the United States Constitution by treating married same-sex couples differently than other married couples. The trial court agreed and ruled that the birth certificate law violated Obergefell because it categorically prohibited married same-sex couples from enjoying the same spousal benefits that are available to all other married couples. A divided Arkansas Supreme Court reversed that judgment and ruled that the birth certificate statute was constitutional.

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SOURCE: SUPREMECOURT.GOV

The following represents NCLR’s most recent cases. In addition to those mentioned, NCLR pioneered second-parent adoptions and other parenting protections. NCLR was also lead counsel on winning marriage at the California Supreme Court in 2013.

NCLR became counsel for the two couples and petitioned SCOTUS to overturn the decision of the Arkansas Supreme Court.

June 26, 2017: SCOTUS granted these families’ petition and reversed the decision of the Arkansas Supreme Court. SCOTUS ruled that by treating married same-sex couples differently than other married couples, the Arkansas birth certificate law “denied married same-sex couples access to the ‘constellation of benefits that the Stat[e] ha[s] linked to marriage’” and therefore violated the Court’s decision in Obergefell.

In Arkansas, NCLR’s work on Pavan resulted in certainty for same-sex parents that they will be treated equally when the birth of their child is documented in state records. Pavan reaffirmed a clear message from SCOTUS that Obergefell, in its fullness, is the law of the land.

Equality Utah v. Utah State Board of Education On October 21, 2016, Equality Utah and three students, represented by NCLR and the law firm of Ropes & Gray LLP, filed a federal lawsuit challenging state laws that ban positive speech about LGBT people in Utah public schools. The lawsuit also challenged a school district’s failure to protect a kindergarten student who was brutally harassed because of his gender non-conformity.

NCLR became involved because Equality Utah was aware of students throughout the state who were being impacted by the law in the way our plaintiffs were—being silenced in class discussions and afraid to even come out at school, or having harassment ignored by school administrators because they believed the law prevented them from addressing antiLGBT bullying. For example, one of the student plaintiffs was given a class assignment to give an oral family history report and wanted to report on his uncle’s marriage to his samesex spouse, but was told he could not talk about his uncle in front of his classmates.

NCLR filed the case and then filed a motion for preliminary injunction asking the court to halt enforcement of the law immediately. In response to the lawsuit and motion, the state legislature passed a bill repealing the law, which had prohibited supportive discussions of LGBT people in classrooms, clubs and school curricula. The NCLR Legal Director was very involved in outreach to the lead Utah legislator who sponsored the bill. At the state’s request, the judge ordered stay of the case once the legislation was introduced.

NCLR continues to represent the plaintiffs in settlement negotiations, which are ongoing.

This is the first lawsuit challenging an antiLGBT school curriculum law. The repeal of (continued on page 27)

Awardees to Be Honored at NCLR’s 2019 Anniversary Celebration The National Center for Lesbian Rights (NCLR) each year presents Courage and Vanguard awards to recipients during the organization’s Anniversary celebrations. At this year’s event, which will take place on May 18 at The Marriott Marquis (followed by an after party at the Metreon), the following individuals will be honored:

across the Commonwealth and improving access to quality healthcare for families. As the first openly LGBT person of color elected to the Pennsylvania General Assembly, he is deeply committed to creating an equitable and inclusive society. Rep. Kenyatta believes that maintaining a healthy democracy requires the involvement of every citizen.

Courage Award: Katherine McCobb On July 13, 2019, NCLR and Arnold & Porter Kaye Scholer LLP filed a complaint on behalf of Katherine McCobb against California-licensed marriage and family therapist Lloyd Willey. Willey told McCobb that being a lesbian is unnatural and pathological and that her sexual orientation could be changed using therapy. The practice of conversion therapy has been discredited by the American Psychological Association and other professional counseling organizations as ineffective, unethical and dangerous. McCobb paid Willey more than $70,000 for eight years of therapy based on fraudulent, harmful lies.

Rep. Kenyatta, 28, is a third-generation North Philadelphian and was born to the late Kelly and Malcolm J. Kenyatta. He was raised alongside three siblings, and is the grandson of Muhammad Kenyatta, a noted civil rights leader, minister, Harvard graduate and political candidate.

McCobb began paying Willey for therapy when she was 25 years old. Although she did not seek out therapy because of her sexual orientation, Willey fixated on McCobb’s lesbian identity and began to pressure her to become straight, telling her that being a lesbian was unnatural and that she could “rewire” her brain. He publicly shamed her during group therapy sessions and urged her to change her appearance to be more stereotypically feminine, including losing weight, growing out her hair, changing her wardrobe and wearing make-up. Willey additionally pressured her to begin dating a man who was also Willey’s client. (Kate McCobb shares her story on page 4 of this issue.)

Courage Award: Danny Zins A year ago, NCLR sued Danny Zins’ school district for refusing to allow him to use the boys’ facilities. At that time, Zins struggled to eke out a D average and was in danger of failing his Sophomore year of high school.

Despite those dire circumstances, the Court refused to order the school to allow him to use the boys’ facilities because it did not feel there was enough of a direct connection between his lack of access and his academics, and even if there was, the Court was not convinced that it would make enough of a difference to warrant an injunction.

Zins figured out a way to barely pass his Sophomore year. Over the summer, the school district agreed to settle the lawsuit.

He is now thriving in school, engaging with his peers, improving his grades and blossoming as a person.

Courage Award: Sthefany Galante Born and raised in Mexico, Galante struggled as a trans woman and faced severe discrimination despite being well educated and having a good job. Growing up she knew that she was different— more feminine than what was expected of her. She came to the U.S. three times in order to have a better life; the first time living in North Carolina and ultimately returning to Mexico, and the second and third times coming to California. Upon arrival to the U.S., she was scared and confused. She did not speak the language and turned to sex work and drugs.

Eventually she made her way to San Francisco. It was a sanctuary for people just like her. In San Francisco she became connected with El/La Para TransLatinas, which a safe space and holistic support organization for transgender Latinas.

Through the support group, she heard about NCLR and how they could help her.

With NCLR’s support and help, she was able to win her asylum case and now has the privilege of working on outreach for other women in the community and helping them through the very process she struggled with.

Vanguard Award: Representative Malcolm Kenyatta, PA House of Representatives Malcolm Kenyatta was elected to serve as state representative for the 181st Legislative District, Philadelphia County, on November 6, 2018. He is a product of Philadelphia public schools and a 2012 graduate of Temple University.

His legislative priorities include raising wages to overcome systemic poverty, improving the educational system

Rep. Kenyatta got his start in community activism when he ran for junior block captain at age 11. Since then, he has dutifully served as a member of numerous nonprofit and political organizations, including Liberty City Democratic Club, Smith Memorial Playground and Playhouse, the Philadelphia Chapter of National Organization for Women’s Education Fund, and Equality PA. He led the Diversity & Inclusion Initiatives for the Chamber of Commerce for Greater Philadelphia, and worked in Graduate Medical Education at Hahnemann Hospital and food service for a number of years.

In 2016, he was elected as a delegate to the Democratic Convention (PA 2nd), garnering the second highest vote total of any delegate in the Commonwealth. He has also appeared on local and national media outlets to discuss systemic poverty, affordable education and childcare, and how to make government more accountable to citizens.

Vanguard Award: Congresswoman Debra Haaland Congresswoman Deb Haaland grew up in a military family; her father was a 30-year combat Marine who was awarded the Silver Star Medal for saving six lives during Vietnam, and her mother is a Navy veteran who was a federal employee for 25 years in Indian education. She knows the sacrifices made by military families because her family moved throughout the country during her father’s military service. As a result, she attended 13 different public schools.

As a single mother, she volunteered at her daughter’s preschool in order to afford an early childhood education. Like many New Mexicans, she had to rely on food stamps at times, has lived paycheck-to-paycheck, and struggled to put herself through college. Though hard work and determination, she earned degrees from the University of New Mexico and UNM Law School. Congresswoman Haaland and her daughter, who recently graduated from the University of New Mexico, are still paying off student loans.

For several years, she ran her own small business producing and canning Pueblo Salsa and later became the first Chairwoman elected to the Laguna Development Corporation Board of Directors, overseeing business operations of the second largest tribal gaming enterprise in New Mexico. She successfully advocated for the Laguna Development Corporation to create policies and commitments to earth-friendly business practices. Haaland is a former tribal administrator and has administered a local service provider for adults with developmental disabilities.

She is a 35th generation New Mexican who is an enrolled member of the Pueblo of Laguna, and also has Jemez Pueblo heritage. After running for New Mexico Lieutenant Governor in 2014, Haaland became the first Native American woman to be elected to lead a State Party. She used her experience reaching out to communities who are often forgotten during the electoral process during the two Obama presidential campaigns. During her time as State Party Chair, she traveled to Standing Rock to stand side-by-side with the community to protect tribal sovereignty and to advocate for vital natural resources.

Starting in 2016, Haaland has served as an Honorary Commander of Kirtland Air Force Base. The role gives her a better understanding of its missions and effects on New Mexico’s economy.

After a lifetime of organizing communities to stand up for New Mexico families, Haaland was elected as one of the first Native American women to serve in Congress. She is serving in leadership roles as the 116th Congress Freshman Class Representative to the House Democratic Steering and Policy Committee, House Democratic Region VI Whip (Texas, New Mexico and Arizona) and Deputy Whip for the Congressional Progressive Caucus.

For more information about NCLR’s Anniversary Celebration: https://bit.ly/2E3Z08U

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LGBTQ News & Calendar for the Bay Area CELEBRATING FOUR DECADES (1978–2019)

NCLR’s Dedicated Volunteers Dedicated volunteers are at the core of most nonprofits, and the National Center for Lesbian Rights (NCLR) is no exception. NCLR’s volunteers are particularly passionate about their work that, as the following statements attest, benefits them in addition to helping out the organization.

Emma McDevitt

“Working with NCLR as an intern has been more than a resume building experience. It has given me a way to give back to the community I call family and given me a place to call home. Their work to end conversion therapy and help trans youth throughout the U.S. is the hope queer youth around the world need to feel a part of our ever-expanding chosen family. I want to continue helping this organization work towards a world where everyone has the sense of family and home NCLR has given me.”

Raini Chase Vargas “As an intern for NCLR, I have gained valuable insight into how a successful organization is run. Their values are not only reflected in legal cases, public policy, and education—but also inside the San Francisco office.

I feel better equipped to perform in a nonprofit environment, and this experience has reignited my dedication to this work. I want to thank NCLR for not only providing me with a community, but also for taking on the work that is so often overlooked.”

Sam Ludeke “Working with NCLR has been both an educational and engaging experience that I will, no doubt, carry with me for the rest of my life. I have spent the last year reviewing and organizing the NCLR archives.

This has allowed me to bear witness to the incomprehensible influence that NCLR has had on this nation’s laws and societal beliefs. With all of NCLR’s wonderful history backing it up, I can only imagine how far it will go and how many lives they will save.”

Carla Espinosa

“Interning at NCLR has shown me how important and impactful their work is in protecting the LGBTQ+ community and the work they do for immigrants and those incarcerated. We need this kind of community empowerment, especially at a time when the world seems so hopeless. It is amazing to know that I am a part of a team working towards making this world a better place.

Being at NCLR has shown me the necessity of policies in protecting the most vulnerable communities.”

Erin Hanley

“My time at NCLR was so impactful both professionally and personally.

Not only did the internship give me hands on job experience, but also the actual work being done inspired me.

Being even a small part of an environment where such hard-working and committed people are doing amazing work (while also always being so friendly and approachable!) made me excited to come in every day. Every day I knew that, no matter how small the task I was doing was, I would be learning and applying myself, and most importantly, contributing to such an incredible organization!”

Olivia Godsey

“Volunteering for NCLR at the Dinah Shore was an incredible way to bridge the gap between being a part of the community that I love so much, and ensuring it has the space and security to endure. NCLR is constantly working toward a world where everyone in our community can feel safe, loved and accepted. Being able to participate in that mission and give back to an organization that has paved the way for my rights was an incredible experience.”

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M AY 16, 2019

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LGBTQ News & Calendar for the Bay Area CELEBRATING FOUR DECADES (1978–2019)

TIMELINE of NCLR’s History & Victories Below are just some of the National Center for Lesbian Rights’ (NCLR) accomplishments over the years.

2007 Rene Portland

2008 Phyllis Lyon and Del Martin wedding

1994—NCLR dramatically expands its advocacy on behalf of LGBT immigrants with the launch of its Immigration Project, becoming the first national LGBT legal organization to do so.

1996—NCLR represents a lesbian mother in Florida in a precedent-setting case holding that courts must not base custody decisions on stereotypes about lesbian and gay parents.

1999—NCLR is the first LGBT legal organization to launch a permanent Elder Law Project as the first wave of baby boomers become senior citizens.

2000—In a powerful decision that adopts many of the arguments put forward by NCLR in an amicus brief, the Ninth Circuit awards asylum to a gay man from Mexico and holds that sexual orientation is an immutable characteristic.

2001—NCLR becomes the first national LGBT legal organization to launch a Transgender Law Project.

2001—NCLR is the first national LGBT organization to tackle the rampant homophobia and transphobia in sports with the launch of its Sports Project.

2001—NCLR wins a landmark wrongful death lawsuit on behalf of Sharon Smith against the owners of two vicious dogs who killed Sharon’s life partner, Diane Alexis Whipple.

2002—NCLR wins a victory on behalf of a lesbian mother in Mississippi who lost custody of her child to her former husband who had physically abused and padlocked her in their home.

2002—NCLR represents Michael Kantaras, a transgender dad in Florida, in a landmark custody and divorce case televised on Court TV. 2003—NCLR litigates and wins the first school harassment case to involve both lesbian and gay students who were subjected to years of anti-lesbian and anti-gay harassment.

2005—NCLR wins the first round of the California marriage battle when the San Francisco Superior Court rules that excluding same-sex couples from the right to marry violates the California Constitution.

2006—NCLR successfully defends the marriage of a Cherokee lesbian couple before the Cherokee Supreme Court.

2006—NCLR launches the Family Protection Project to improve access to family law services for low-income, samesex parent families, with a focus on serving families of color.

2007—In the first lawsuit to shine a public spotlight on pervasive homophobia in women’s sports, NCLR represents Jennifer Harris, a former college basketball star, in a discrimination case against Penn State and former coach Rene Portland.

2007—NCLR represents a gay couple in a landmark victory against an internet adoption business that discriminates against same-sex couples and single parents.

2007—NCLR and California Rural Legal Assistance launch another first-of-its-kind project, Proyecto Poderoso/Project Powerful, to improve legal services for low-income LGBT farm workers and people in rural California.

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2008 Supreme Court decision

2008—NCLR is lead counsel in the historic case in which the California Supreme Court rules the state can no longer exclude same-sex couples from marriage, including holding that LGBT people are entitled to the highest level of constitutional protection, the first time any high court has ever done so.

2008—The day after passage of California’s Proposition 8, NCLR files a legal challenge with the California Supreme Court.

2009—NCLR wins a case that establishes that Florida must give full faith and credit to all adoptions, including secondparent adoptions, granted to same-sex couples by other states.

2009—NCLR’s Legal Director Shannon Minter testifies in the first-ever congressional hearing on gender identity discrimination.

2010—NCLR represents Clay Greene, an elderly man forcefully removed from the Northern California home he shared with his long-time partner after he was hospitalized, eventually settling the case for $600,000.

2010—NCLR wins a U.S. Supreme Court case upholding the right of colleges and universities to enforce non-discrimination policies that protect LGBT students.

2011—NCLR client Vanessa Adams settles with Federal Bureau of Prisons, establishing major changes in transgender medical policy for those in federal facilities.

2011—NCLR prevents state officials from separating and denying health care rights to an elderly lesbian couple in rural Florida.

2011—NCLR successfully settles a federal case on behalf of two lesbian high school seniors in Minnesota, enabling them to walk together in “royalty court” procession.

2011—NCLR wins 20 asylum cases on behalf of LGBT people facing unspeakable discrimination, harassment and violence in their countries of origin.

2011—NCLR drafts comments on behalf of over 30 organizations successfully persuading the Department of Housing and Urban Development to include LGBT people and families in their housing benefits and programs.

2011—NCLR convinces the Department of Health and Human Services to prohibit anti-LGBT discrimination in the new state healthcare exchanges.

2012—NCLR’s 35th anniversary 2012—NCLR drafts and helps to pass California’s Senate Bill 1172, the first law in the country to protect LGBTQ youth from the dangers of conversion therapy.

2012 – NCLR wins a case in New Mexico establishing that unmarried non-biological mothers can be recognized as parents under New Mexico’s parentage statutes.

2013—NCLR works with New Jersey leaders to pass the second bill of its kind in the country protecting LGBT youth from conversion therapy.

2013—NCLR wins a New Mexico marriage equality case; files marriage cases in Tennessee and Idaho; and begins representing plaintiffs in Utah.

2013 Tennessee Marriage Equality

2009 Shannon Minter

2013—Along with members of NCLR’s National Family Law Advisory Council, NCLR staff helps to draft legislation in Delaware and Nevada allowing all intended parents, including unmarried parents and intended single parents, to conceive through surrogacy.

2014—NCLR launches its #BornPerfect campaign to end conversion therapy nationwide by 2019.

2014—NCLR drafts and helps to pass California’s Senate Bill 274, the first comprehensive statute in the country explicitly allowing children to have more than two legally recognized parents in limited circumstances.

2014—The U.S. Supreme Court declines review of NCLR’s Utah marriage case, resulting in marriages beginning in the state and several other states within days of the decision.

2014—Washington, D.C., is the third jurisdiction in the country to protect LGBTQ youth from conversion therapy; #BornPerfect leaders testify before the U.N. 2015—NCLR represents marriage plaintiffs in Alabama, Idaho, Florida, Tennessee, Wyoming, South Dakota and North Dakota.

2015—#BornPerfect helps to pass laws protecting LGBTQ youth from conversion therapy in two more states, Oregon and Illinois.

2015—The U.S. Supreme Court grants review of NCLR’s Tennessee marriage case, along with cases from three other states.

2015—History is made with the U.S. Supreme Court ruling in favor of marriage equality nationwide after hearing NCLR’s Tennessee marriage case and cases from three other states.

2015—NCLR launches the #Equality4Families campaign to raise awareness about the need to update family laws across the country to fully protect LGBT parents and their children.

2015—NCLR launches its Transgender Youth Project to assist transgender youth and their families in navigating through the legal system to secure their rights.

2016—NCLR spearheads a groundbreaking Federal Trade Commission complaint targeting conversion therapy as consumer fraud.

2017—In July, NCLR filed a complaint against a Berkeley therapist for discredited conversion therapy; NCLR prevailed on this matter in 2018.

2017—NCLR and GLAD file Doe v. Trump, the first lawsuit filed to stop the ban of transgender troops from military service, challenging its constitutionality and requesting that the court issue a nationwide preliminary injunction to stop it from taking effect while the case is being heard in court.

2019 so far—#BornPerfect helps to pass laws protecting LGBTQ youth from conversion in a total of 16 states (New Jersey, California, Illinois, Vermont, New Mexico, Connecticut, Rhode Island, Nevada, Washington, Hawaii, Delaware, Maryland, New Hampshire, New York, Massachusetts), in addition to Puerto Rico and D.C.

Rocket Man: Mayor Pete’s Big Moment

Cross Currents Andrea Shorter He was born and raised in South Bend, Indiana, and is the son of an immigrant. Both of his parents were professors at the University of Notre Dame. A graduate of Harvard College, he was also a Rhodes Scholar. He served in the Navy Reserves, and at age 29 became mayor of his hometown in 2011.

A millennial, he is just two years older than the legal age allowed to become president of the U.S. He’s a Democrat. He is openly gay, and has a husband. He has a hard to pronounce, but unforgettable, last name: Buttigieg (boot-edge-edge). You can call him Mayor Pete. And, unless you’ve been sequestered in jury duty since January, there is no way that you don’t know that Mayor Pete is running for president.

Mayor Pete is the one presidential hopeful among the cast of 22 plus Democrats that literally seems to have come out of nowhere—South Bend is not “nowhere” per se, but close—and taken the national stage by storm. People seem to really like

Mayor Pete, and not just LGBT people, but all kinds of people. What’s not to like? Even Oprah wants to have lunch with him. Since his big debut onto the national stage via a CNN Town Hall, a series of latenight talk show appearances, a bold appearance on Fox News, and his eventual official announcement for a run for the White House, he continues to rank within the top tier of polls casting him as high as third under Biden and Sanders.

Buttigieg isn’t the first openly gay person to run for president as a major party candidate. That historical distinction belongs to Fred Karger, who ran for the Republican nomination in 2012. It’s too soon to tell in this two-year race, but it would appear that this current Democratic candidate is closest to the mere idea of primary nomination than his Republican predecessor was ever going to be.

The phenomena of a young, intelligent, clean cut, gay man of faith— who rightfully proclaims to have more elected and military experience than the current president—has so far proven more than a flash in the pan/flavor of the month media darling. He has managed to sustain real interest and attention to his candidacy well beyond the stretch of a few weeks. He is a bona fide, serious top tier contender in the most diverse field of presidential primary contestants in U.S. political history.

How and why Buttigieg has become such a popular candidate is up for debate. Is it his educational pedigree?

Is it his millennial youthfulness? Is he the able representative of the rust-

belt, red-state Midwesterner in a party that has been dominated by bicoastal urbanites? Is it his cool, calm and collected intellectual tact, yet down to earth manner, which folks find appealing, especially compared to the temperament and manner of the ever-troubling sitting president?

How does the fact that he is gay play into the mix? Other than the predictable bashers, does the majority of anyone else really care that he is gay?

How do we feel if his being gay is not a major or leading feature of his candidacy?

It is possible that the appeal of Mayor Pete is all of the above and so much more? The fact that he is a lesser known entity than the majority of the democratic slate to date makes him a hopeful breath of fresh air. It’s been said that he has that Obama glow about him—young, virtually unknown, whip smart, aspirational, potential coalition dream come true — but let’s not go overboard here.

His ascendance does place him among the other 2–3 white males consistently dominating the polls: Joe Biden, Bernie Sanders, and, intermittently, Beto O’Rourke. A woman and person of color, Senator Kamala Harris, is holding her own as the candidate consistently polling immediately under or among these candidates. Still, the fact remains that Mayor Pete’s status as a white male—not straight white male— could possibly be giving him a bit of a leg up in the field. He’s proving to be quite likable, relatable and maybe even presidential electable without presenting any controversial, bold or provoking ideological or policy posi-

tion. He is sane, nice, smart and safe. He’s new, yet familiar.

While the election of Trump to “Make America Great Again” was a signifier and expression of some voters to course correct after two terms of the first (and, in their minds, hopefully last) Black president, this era is quite possibly reflexive as well: a want towards getting back to a pre-Trump and maybe even preObama safe, comforting normalization about the American presidency (white male). Hence, in part, the Biden effect.

As a gay white male, Mayor Pete allows for the notion of familiarity as a white male, while at the same time giving some service to the idea that we are, in fact, still ready for more representative diversity. After all, we did elect a Black man president twice.

As women and candidates of color holding higher office than that of a small town mayor strive to break through the primary nomination ceiling that Obama and Clinton worked to shatter into a million pieces, it does beg the question of how and why Mayor Pete—as wonderful a candidate as he might be—is so quickly, widely and ably rocketing up so much closer to that ceiling than other “diverse” candidates.

Does his status as a white male mean that he is actually contending for the presidency, while the other “diverse” candidates are consequently and eventually contending for the vice presidency? Yes, this a far-fetched and troublesome notion of sorts. Of course, there is more to Mayor Pete

Time Magazine, May 13, 2019

than being a nice, smart young white gay guy from the Midwest. There is also more to the other candidates than being women or a person of color.

The good news is that we have a field of candidates that is closer to representing the gender, racial and sexual orientation diversity of our nation.

I am glad that Mayor Pete is in the running as well. As a fellow Hoosier, I am already quite proud of Mayor Pete. He is off to a great start, and promises to make the LGBTQ community and America at large proud.

Andrea Shorter is a Commissioner and the former President of the historic San Francisco Commission on the Status of Women. She is a longtime advocate for criminal and juvenile justice reform, voter rights and marriage equality. A Co-founder of the Bayard Rustin LGBT Coalition, she was a 2009 David Bohnett LGBT Leadership Fellow at the Harvard Kennedy School of Government.

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Turning to Each Other and White Plum Blossoms

6/26 and Beyond John Lewis As I type, Stuart’s 95-year-old mom is approaching the end of life.

Stuart’s mom was always ahead of her time. She holds degrees from UC Berkeley, the University of Chicago and Marquette University, and was a professor of cross-cultural education and women’s studies at a time when teaching those subjects meant breaking down barriers. Stuart’s mom, who is Chinese American, and his dad, who is European American, were an interracial couple who married in the early 1950s when such marriages were illegal in much of the country.

Stuart’s mom has long been a big supporter of LGBTIQ equality, from joining with us in the Pride Parade to campaigning against Prop 8. As she sensed that Stuart might be gay when he was a teenager in the 1980s, she coaxed him on more than one occasion to come out to her, offering: “If there’s anything you want to tell me, I just want to let you know I will be very open and understanding ... .”

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Perhaps most strikingly, Stuart’s mom never really thought of herself as old. Several years ago, when I told my mother, who was a contemporary of Stuart’s mom, some of the things Stuart’s mom was doing, my mother was aghast. She exclaimed to me, “Doesn’t she understand that she’s old and should be preparing for the end of her life?” I can imagine Stuart’s mom responding, “Says who? And why?”

In spending time with Stuart’s mom and in coming to terms with turning 60 this year myself, I realized that we really don’t have 95-year-old or 60-year-old moments—or 30-yearold or 3-year-old moments, for that matter. We all just have the present moment, which we share together with each other right here and right now. And then comes the next present moment immediately following, whether we like it or not.

In life, we often really want something to happen and try very hard to make it happen in a given moment, or the next moment or even the next year. But ultimately, we don’t know what will come next and may not be able to control it despite all of our efforts and wishes.

This is especially true when a cherished loved one is ill and is also true in our lives as activists.

Indeed, for all of us an ever-present process of change is taking place both in our external circumstances and in our subjective personal experience as we live our lives trying to make the world a better place.

The 18th century Japanese haiku poet Buson evokes this notion in a final haiku he composed from

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Stuart’s mom Estelle Pau-On Lau and John Lewis (left); Stuart’s mom and dad 1948 (center); mom in Pride Parade with Stuart and John (top right), mom with Stuart and John working for the No on 8 campaign (lower right)

his deathbed. It’s entitled “Early Spring.” The haiku describes the flowers in his garden the very moment the dawn light first illuminates them:

In the white plum blossoms night to next day just turning.

Plum blossoms are the first flowers to bloom in the new year, actually coming out amidst the snow in the waning days of winter. As such, they symbolize perseverance and beauty under adversity, as well as hope, renewal and transition. In Japanese, Buson’s words evoke the continuing nature of the process.

Indeed, as the white plum blossoms give way to fresh green leaves, the early morning light will reveal continually changing images at slightly different times as the year unfolds and then repeats itself again and again. Importantly, how one attends

to the garden can greatly influence what the dawn light unveils.

When a cherished loved one is in the final days of life, nothing is more valuable to all involved than the support of other loved ones near and far.

A favorite haiku of mine, written by the most revered Japanese haiku master of all, Basho—who was also queer—evokes the value of our recognizing the commonality of our experience. Long ago, a person living in Kyoto had painted a self-portrait depicting themselves with their face turned away, and asked Basho to compose a haiku to accompany the painting. Basho wrote:

You could turn this way, I am also lonely This autumn evening.

Basho’s verse suggests a way to relate to each other in times of need, not only as we are in the final days

of Stuart’s mom’s life, but also more generally and as a community as we face social and political adversity.

Perhaps Basho’s words also speak of a way to undermine the ignorance, hatred and greed that engender discrimination and other unnecessary suffering in the first place. Stuart’s mom devoted her life to ending such suffering.

(English translations of the haikus come from Robert Hass, The Essential Haiku, Versions of Basho, Buson & Issa.)

John Lewis and Stuart Gaffney, together for over three decades, were plaintiffs in the California case for equal marriage rights decided by the California Supreme Court in 2008. Their leadership in the grassroots organization Marriage Equality USA contributed in 2015 to making same-sex marriage legal nationwide.

When Will Enough Be Enough?

Saving Restorative Justice and More

Under a GVRO, the initial seizure of weapons is for 21 days, and the order can be extended for up to a year with a hearing and approval from a judge. Right now, only law enforcement and immediate family members are allowed to petition a court for one. But I think more people should have access to GVROs because of their life-saving potential.

and vitality of our community. A bulk of the funding goes to the Restorative Justice program in OUSD. It moves children towards healthy and healing ways of dealing with violence and trauma instead of relying on punitive measures.

A study by the Council of State Governments found that “students who are suspended or expelled are nearly three times more likely to come into contact with the justice system the next year.” OUSD began its restorative justice program in 2012 as part of an agreement signed with the Department of Justice because back then, African-American boys made up 17% of the student body and 42% of all students being suspended.

My bill, AB 61, seeks to add school officials, employers and co-workers to the list of people eligible to obtain a GVRO. Since they are more likely to see warnings signs, it makes sense to give them an avenue to take action. We often spend more time with our coworkers and classmates than we do at home.

Assemblymember Phil Ting Gun violence has become all too common in our country. Nowhere is safe—not a movie theater, not a school, not a workplace and not even a house of worship. While countries like New Zealand have taken brave measures to protect their citizens, our national leadership in Washington, D.C., continues to defend the madness and push for more gun rights. In California, we’ve had enough. We advocate for common sense gun policy. Over the last few years, we have enacted laws to ban automatic weapons, limit ammunition and impose stricter background checks.

One tool has been particularly effective to help prevent tragedies: our Gun Violence Restraining Order (GVRO) law. It temporarily takes away the firearms of someone who may pose a danger to themselves or others. That’s right. We, in California, have the ability to take firearms away from individuals who shouldn’t have them. Our belief is that common sense should dictate our policies, not just outdated interpretations of the Second Amendment.

Last year’s shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida, is an example of where teachers, administrators and others said the alleged shooter’s behavior raised red flags, and they were worried about his access to guns. They were helpless and couldn’t do anything. A GVRO could have been a helpful tool in that situation. Not thoughts and prayers after the fact.

Florida lawmakers have finally had enough too, agreeing to enact a GVRO law, which is sometimes referred to as a “red flag law.” In fact, fourteen states now have similar measures in place; most of them approved after the Parkland massacre. Several more states are expected to follow this year. We can and must do more than send condolences to prevent gun violence.

After the Poway, California, shooting at a synagogue on the last day of Passover a couple of weeks ago, we were again faced with the question of when is enough, enough? My Assembly colleagues and I acted quickly this month and approved AB 61 so more Californians have access to GVROs. Like we did after the New Zealand massacre at a mosque, we must stand together for peace and love to oppose hate.

As a nation, we must evaluate what is more important—the right to weapons or the right to be safe from harm? Like most Californians, I choose the latter because I’ve had enough. Thoughts and prayers won’t prevent tragedies. Effective gun policies will.

Phil Ting represents the 19th Assembly District, which includes the Westside of San Francisco along with the communities of Broadmoor, Colma and Daly City.

Out of the Closet and into City Hall Oakland City Councilmember At-Large, Rebecca Kaplan The fiscal difficulties facing the Oakland Unified School District (OUSD) made national headlines earlier this year. The OUSD Board voted to cut $21.75 million to meet state regulator mandates. This was devastating for the over 33,000 children who attend district run schools; 73.5% of whom are eligible for free or reduced-cost lunches.

The cuts were particularly hard hitting to the kind of programing that our most vulnerable populations depend on. It became very clear that our Oakland City Council had to act fast. If we weren’t able to secure money before the end of the school year for the District, layoffs would occur that would affect vital programing. This is why I introduced legislation to immediately direct $1.2 million in Oakland City funds to OUSD to preserve the following: restorative justice programing, foster youth case managers, and school library funding.

These programs are very important both for our youth and for the safety

By the 2018–2019 school year, there was a decrease in the number of suspensions by over 50%. Our funding also retained three case managers for foster care youth. Foster youth are one of the most vulnerable populations in our state.

There are hundreds of foster care youth who attend OUSD schools who are provided with one-on-one support through this program. The program has decreased dropout rates from 41% to 19% and increased enrollment by 21% in 2-year and 4-year colleges in 2017–2018.

Lastly, the OUSD library programs underwent radical shifts in how they distribute funding. Our legislation directed funding to sustain school libraries. The value of school libraries was summed up in a study of Pennsylvania schools that found that students with onsite libraries improve their test scores significantly, and are provided with a safe and supportive environment.

This action received widespread public advocacy and support from many people and groups, including the Oakland Educators Association and Senator Kamala Harris, and was passed by the City Council, saving these vital programs.

While we were able to move forward this funding successfully, this is a short-term solution to a long-term problem. On May 7, the Oakland City Council also passed my resolution requesting that the state waive $33 million in debt that OUSD owes the state. This is a much-needed step to get OUSD out a cycle of debt, which was imposed by the state over 10 years ago.

Councilmember At-Large Rebecca Kaplan was elected in 2008 to serve as Oakland’s citywide Councilmember; she was re-elected in 2016. She also serves on the Alameda County Transportation Commission (ACTC). Follow Councilmember Kaplan on Twitter @Kaplan4Oakland and Facebook ( https://bit.ly/2Qm2Qhk ).

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Chief Jeanine Nicholson Takes the Reins

Photos by Rink

Mayor London Breed led the Oath of Office for San Francisco Fire Department Chief Jeanine Nicholson in a ceremony held at City Hall on Monday, May 6. A large crowd of friends and relatives was on hand in addition to current and past officers of SFPD. Assessor-Recorder Carmen Chu served as Mistress of Ceremonies and speakers included Father John Greene, SFFD chaplain, and Louise Nicholson Howe, sister of Chief Nicholson. Performers included the Irish Pipers Band of San Francisco and vocalists Miko Marks and Darrell Stone. A reception followed the ceremony at The Green Room of the Veterans Building.

Firefighter’s Prayer When I am called to duty, wherever the flames may rage, give me strength to save a life, whatever be its age.

Help me to embrace a little child before it’s too late, or save an older person from the horror of that fate.

Enable me to be alert to hear the weakest shout, and quickly and efficiently to put the fire out.

I want to fill my calling and to give the best in me, to guard my neighbors and protect their property.

And if according to your will I have to lose my life, bless you with protecting hand my loving family from strife.

Real Estate

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LGBTQ News & Calendar for the Bay Area CELEBRATING FOUR DECADES (1978–2019)

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San Francisco Realtor Steve Gallagher Strengthens Community in the Castro May marks the 1908 founding of the National Association of Realtors (NAR), which got its start under another name at a surprising location: a YMCA auditorium. The founders were the village people of their time, with a desire to help build communities, to establish a Code of Ethics for their profession and to place emphasis on service to others. They and their successors recognized that the interests of the nation “require the creation of adequate housing, the building of functioning cities, the development of productive industries and farms, and the preservation of a healthful environment,” as the NAR Code today goes.

Much obviously still needs to be done to reach those goals, but the best realtors care not only for their clients, but also for the communities in which they live and work.

One such individual in San Francisco is Steve Gallagher, who began at Zephyr Real Estate before moving to TRI Coldwell Banker and then to the Market Street Coldwell Banker, where he has been for the past seven years. He was on the Top Producers list at all three offices.

Members of our San Francisco Bay Times team have heard many people in the Castro singing his praises over the years, and we have run into Gallagher often at various events for our community. We therefore asked him to share his story during this NAR anniversary month.

Gallagher replied: “With almost a quarter century of selling real estate behind me, it is interesting to think about why I got into real estate in the first place and what drives me to continue to sell to this day. I was born in San Francisco at Children’s Hospital, now CPMC on California Street.

Although I was raised in Marin, I moved to the City right after college (UC Davis) and never left.”

“My family has been here for generations; my Great Grandfather was a ferry boat captain on the Bay at the turn of the previous century, and my parents met when they both worked at the Emporium (the Big E) on Market Street,” he continued. “I followed their lead into retail, working for Macy’s for over 13 years, and then tried working on the wholesale side of things for a while. I had considered selling real estate because I loved looking at property and envisioning

Steve Gallagher (right) with husband, Steve

Steve Gallagher and his canine friends at Alamo Square Park

what it could be, but just wasn’t sure about being solely on commission.

After a few years, I found the wholesale industry to be a fickle business so I bit the bullet and got my real estate license. I was lucky; I sold my first closing within the first few months to a friend I had met in the San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus (SFGMC). It closed on my 40th birthday; to me, a great omen for a couple of reasons.”

“While that first year was tough, during the years that followed I fortunately have been one of the top producers more often than not in the companies for which I have worked. I love my work and I truly love helping clients find that perfect home—one that they can live in and love where they live! In fact, love where you live is my tag line. It’s corny, I know, but nothing makes me happier than helping someone find that perfect place and then advising them on the best way to successfully get in contract on the home and ultimately make it their own.”

He added, “Shortly before becoming a realtor, I joined the SFGMC, a group that I am part of to this day.

The chorus is a great community of people with a mission to make a difference in the world through music.

My involvement in the chorus both as a member and as the President for four years, has led to a consistent level of real estate sales from within the ranks and many referrals along the way. Word of mouth is

a great source of business and referrals are the strongest form of flattery.

I always hope my clients, whether they are buyers or sellers, like what I do enough to talk to their friends about me. Of course, those sales help me to give back to the organization and support the great work they are doing.”

“I am fortunate to live and work in the Castro; my office is Coldwell Banker on Market Street just down from the corner of Castro Street. I have done a significant portion of my business in the Upper Market/Castro area. It is one of the best places in the City to live! There is great weather, wonderful shops and restaurants and convenient transportation; what’s not to love.”

“Ultimately, I have found my passion in real estate,” he shared. “I believe that owning your own home and building wealth through real estate is the ultimate goal. Setting down roots and being part of a community is tremendously important. After being a part of SFGMC since 1993 and selling real estate since 1995, I feel like part of the fabric here in San Francisco and specifically in the Castro.

It is funny—I walk around the area with my husband on the weekend and say, ‘Hi,’ to two or three people along the way on a regular basis. He always asks, ‘Chorus or real estate?’ I laugh, because it is usually one or the other.” https://bit.ly/2HrN0Po

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When You’re Triggered portionate to the situation at hand.

It happens because we were all children once. When we were growing up, we inevitably experienced pain or suffering that we couldn’t do anything about, or, in some cases, even acknowledge. So, as adults, we become triggered when experiences tap a fault line that leads back to those times and opens our core vulnerabilities. Here’s one example of how this works:

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Examined Life Tom Moon, MFT Your partner says something to you in a condescending and dismissive tone. A close friend cancels the plans you’ve made together at the last minute. A driver jumps the line at an intersection and flips you off when you honk. Minor annoyances, but hardly felonies, right? But in an instant, you’re trembling and sweating, your blood pressure is rising and you’re hyperventilating. Whatever you’re feeling—whether it’s hurt, anxiety, rage, shame—it’s intense and destabilizing. And then you’re shouting, arguing, insulting, hiding, crying or otherwise reacting defensively.

We all have triggers—hot buttons which, when pushed, set off intense emotional responses that are not pro-

Erin’s trigger is anyone’s anger or disapproval. Her mother was a rageaholic, and both of her parents were relentlessly critical. Now, she’s triggered when anyone gets angry or even disapproves of her, and she relives the same helpless panic, loneliness, shame and hopelessness that she felt as a little girl. These feelings are so excruciatingly painful that she’ll do almost anything to get away from them. Flying into rages is one way that she distracts herself from feeling helpless; addiction to alcohol and food are two other methods.

To be triggered is to go into a kind of trance state. You’re no longer living in the present moment, but in a kind of dream of the past that you mistake for the present. If feelings of being in danger have been triggered, for instance, it can be very difficult not to believe that you are in great

danger now, no matter how safe you actually are.

What’s the best way to respond when you realize that you’re being triggered? This may sound strange for a therapist to say, but the first thing to understand is that it’s important for you make sure that you don’t “share your feelings.” What I mean is, the more you try to discuss what’s going on with you with the person who triggered you, the more you’re likely to work yourself up into even more of a froth, and the more likely you are to make matters worse with the other person.

That’s because, when you’re triggered, you go into emergency mode.

You’re flooded with stress hormones, and you’re not responding from your rational forebrain, but from the more primitive threat centers. Attempts at “honest communication” when you’re in that state will likely just devolve into combativeness. Your first priority really needs to be to get to a place of safety, usually by absenting yourself from the situation.

The next order of business is to reduce the internal agitation. One practice that can be helpful is to do some slow, deep breathing, making sure that your exhalations are twice as long as your inhalations.

Only when your nervous system is returning to equilibrium and you’re starting to feel calmer does it become possible to be self-reflective. When that happens, you might try asking yourself, “What age am I right now?” If the trigger is a specific trauma, you may find that your mind will float right back to that specific event, and you’ll immediately understand what you’ve been reacting to.

More often, though, the trigger isn’t a single event, but a cluster of events, or a trauma-inducing life situation, such as a parent’s depression or addiction. In that case, your mind might float back to that period of time in your life, and you’ll vividly remember the “feel” of an entire era.

In any case, you only start to emerge from the trance that triggering induces when you can step back from the heat and drama of the moment and zero in on what’s happening in the background. When you begin to become conscious in this way, you acquire a capacity to understand and to heal those early wounds and bring that child that you once were to the sense of love and safety that he or she may have longed for all of your life.

Tom Moon is a psychotherapist in San Francisco. For more information, please visit his website http://tommoon.net/

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Rainbow World Fund Delegation Travels to Cuba Despite Sudden Cancellation of Nation’s Pride Celebrations Rainbow World Fund (RWF), under the direction of Founder and President Jeff Cotter, has organized visits to Cuba since 2012. Each Jornada, or journey, has largely been educational, focusing on Cuba’s LGBTQ community and the country’s history, politics and spirituality. A highlight of the trips is participating in Cuba’s Pride celebrations in Havana. This year, Dr. Mariela Castro Espín, the daughter of Communist Party First Secretary Raúl Castro and feminist and revolutionary Vilma Espín, invited Cleve Jones—Founder of The NAMES Project AIDS Memorial Quilt and Co-Founder of the San Francisco AIDS Foundation—to receive the Cuban National Center for Sex Education (CENESEX) Prize.

On May 7, the day before Cotter, Jones and the rest of the delegation were scheduled to travel to Cuba, they were informed that the two planned Pride marches, known as Congas, had been cancelled. On that day, Cotter wrote: “We’ve just received the news, but we are, of course, still going. It’s disappointing that the two Congas have been canceled. They are a powerful means to organize and show the strength and vitality of the LGBTQI community.

We hope that they will return next year.”

He added, “RWF has been working in Cuba for eight years supporting the LGBTQI community, helping children with HIV/AIDS and other chronic illness, and providing direct aid following natural disasters. During that time, we have seen Cuba’s LGBTQI community evolve and mature and know that they have the strengths to overcome this unfortunate decision by their government.”

Jones did receive the CENESEX award at Havana’s Karl Marx Theater on May 10. Cotter informed us that, during the ceremony, Jones presented a rainbow flag from the

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estate of the late Gilbert Baker to Espín. Jones also brought two 12’ x 12’ panels of the NAMES Project AIDS Memorial Quilt with him on the trip.

The next day did not go as smoothly.

Several individuals gathered for an unauthorized LGBT march along Prado Avenue in Havana. At least five people were arrested, according to the publication Tremenda Nota.

Cotter and Jones, writing jointly to the San Francisco Bay Times from Cuba on May 14, shared that they met with the leadership of CENESEX and voiced the following:

PHOTOS COURTESY OF RAINBOW WORLD FUND

Mario Ordonez Juan Ordonez

Rainbow World Fund at Pride Celebration in Matanzas, Cuba - 2016

“We came to Cuba to listen and learn and show our love and solidarity to our brothers and sisters on the island. At the halfway point of our ten-day delegation to Cuba, we were disappointed by a number of events. We wish to express our concern on three issues: First, we are saddened by the government’s decision to cancel this year’s Congas (Pride parades) due to pressure from anti-LGBTQ fundamentalist Christians who oppose the significant advancements that LGBTQ people have made in Cuban society.

Secondly, we are dismayed by the government’s attempt to shut down an alternative Conga organized by independent LGBTQ activists and the arrests of some participants of that event.

Havana Pride Celebration - 2016

While we cannot confirm this, we have been assured that the detained LGBTQ activists have been released and will not receive severe punishment.

Thirdly, we regret the government’s decision to deny entry to a reporter from The Washington Blade sent to cover the LGBTQ events.

The government claims that both the religious fundamentalists and the independent LGBTQ activists are being exploited by forces who oppose the regime for economic and political reasons.

We have communicated our concerns directly to the leaders of CENESEX.

It has been a complicated and difficult week but we are all grateful for the positive interactions

we have experienced with the Cuban people and to witness their continued progress on LGBTQ issues.

None of these events alter our position that the U.S. blockade is a cynical and cruel imposition of great suffering upon all the people of Cuba that must end.”

For more information about Rainbow World Fund: http://www.rainbowfund.org/

GLBT Fortnight in Review

By Ann Rostow Notes from Underground I have a habit of putting vague column ideas into the “notes” area on my iPhone. I’m not talking about GLBT stories per se, but quirky items or notions. Invariably, these hilarious tidbits lose their charm by the time I get around to writing, and yet I rarely delete them because I imagine I’ll recapture whatever it was that prompted me to memorialize them to begin with. So now I have several lengthy lists of random “thoughts,” I suppose you could call them, some of which are years old and some of which are now unintelligible.

What did I mean by “717!” exclamation mark included? I have no idea. I think “name the woman you wouldn’t go to bed with for a million pounds” was something I read or saw somewhere, and further, I don’t think I came up with any answers. Maybe Sarah Huckabee Sanders. As I recall, I put in “Keiko” after watching a Star Trek episode and realizing that I really can’t stand her. A few of you may know who I’m talking about, right? Chief O’Brien’s wife who constantly complains and whines about everything. As for the rest of you, I think you can understand why I never actually raised the topic of the obscure, albeit annoying, Keiko in an actual column (until now).

Then there are the heavier entries.

“First amendment rights of NLF player.” I have no clue what I planned to say about that or what it had to do with our community affairs. I have isolated names, like “Rees Mogg,” the eccentric British politician who, as far as I know, has performed no newsworthy exploits of late. “Hey me insurance” rings no bells and makes no sense. And then there’s an entire page from April of last year with just one word: “Collateral.” I’m telling you this so I can delete these notes in good conscience and so you will recognize the lengths I go to leaven our serious civil rights struggles with a light-hearted dose of fun.

Nun the Wiser In actual news, it looks like the Equality Act will get a House vote as this issue hits the stands, although who knows what will happen in the Senate. Trump has recently come out in opposition to this, our signature civil rights bill, insisting that it will “undermine parental and conscience rights.” Some reporters have noted that Trump gave an interview to The Advocate back in 2004, when he called for adding sexual orientation to Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and expressed unqualified support for gay rights across the board. Oddly, if you read that interview, he sounds articulate and well spoken. It’s jarring how profoundly he’s changed—not just in his political views, but through his sharp descent into mental illness and incoherence.

By the way, why would the Equality Act undermine parental rights?

The bill bans GLBT discrimination in the workplace, housing and public accommodations, so it’s not clear to me why anyone’s parents would be affected by its provisions. As for “conscience rights,” that’s a new one. I suppose it’s meant to evoke the faith-based bias of those antigay butchers, bakers and candlestick makers, bless their tiny little hearts.

And speaking of faith, my dear cousin sent me an uplifting story out of D.C., where one of the nation’s oldest Catholic girls schools has taken a controversial stand in favor of gay inclusion. We have never hesitated to report on the nefarious policies of small-minded Catholic prep schools, so it’s nice to see the flip side of that bigotry.

In this case, Sister Mary Berchmans, the principal emerita of Georgetown Visitation Preparatory School, sent a letter to the school community after the alumni magazine declined to announce a same-sex marriage.

After “much prayerful consideration and thoughtful reflection,” she wrote, the school determined that the policy would be changed to include lesbian marriages in the class notes.

“I keep returning to this choice,” she wrote. “We can focus on Church teaching on gay marriage or we can focus on Church teaching on the Gospel commandment of love. We know from history—including very recent history—that the Church, in its humanity, makes mistakes. Yet, through the grace of God and the power of the Holy Spirit, it learns and grows. And so, we choose the Gospel commandment of love.”

She’s Just Not into You So, I was watching Beto with increasing disdain the other day, and felt a little guilty about my feelings. Believe me, I loved this guy when he was running for Senate, and I was captivated by his eloquent defense of the NFL protests, his fluent recap of civil rights history, his clean articulation of our constitutional right to free speech and political discourse. He was marvelous. Off the cuff. Honest and original and genuine.

But Beto is like a guy you were infatuated with until you realized that, let’s say, he didn’t read books or didn’t know any history or liked his steak well done. One thing after another made you think twice, and (perhaps since you are a lesbian in the first place), well, the relationship didn’t work out.

That Vanity Fair article. “Born to run?” The dentist selfie. Really?

Then there’s the flimsy resume, the dilettante summers, that weird traffic accident, the failed newspaper, the rich wife and well-positioned political helping hands hiding behind the common man persona. The vague sense of self-absorption and ambition. Yes, every presidential candidate is ambitious, but there are those who want to change the world and control the levers of power, and there are those who want to be “President.” This guy has not accomplished much, and has not advanced any concrete ideas now has he? He always wears the same white buttondown shirt. And for some reason, it really bugged me when he condescended to suggested he would pick Stacey Abrams as a vice president.

Like the ex-boyfriend, once you start picking away at his faults, it’s hard to stop. I find myself satisfied to see him falling in the polls. And yet, I loved him just a short time ago! I gave him money and volunteered for him, even accidentally getting plastered at a wine drinking postcard event that left both Mel and I incapable of driving for a couple of hours, which we spent staggering around in a street fair. We did this for Beto! But that was then and this is now.

Winning Is Everything Speaking of the primary, I’m one of the many Democrats who is singlemindedly focused on getting rid of Trump in 2020, and honestly, I don’t care who does it or why. Medicare for all, or a few tweaks to Obamacare?

Whatever. The new green deal, or just some carbon offsets? Don’t care.

Free college, or simply a few more Pell grants? Either way. Should prisoners vote? My opinion (no) doesn’t matter as long we win a majority in Florida. Reparations for slavery?

Check the national polls and support whatever they say. (continued on page 26) S AN F R ANC IS C O BAY T IM ES

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Fredy Hirsch and Jan Mautner: Love in a Time of Holocaust

Faces from Our LGBT Past Dr. Bill Lipsky In Berlin’s Topography of Terror Museum, built upon the ruins of the building that housed many of the most infamous offices of Nazi evil, archivists and historians tell of the lives lost to the false science of racial and ethnic superiority. Some 15 million people in six years were murdered, with cruelty and without mercy, for who they were in life, and not for anything that they did. The number, overwhelming and stupefying, is also cold, distant and unfeeling. Numbers have no humanity. They have no faces.

In 1933, the year the Nazis took power in Germany, the JDP became part of Maccabi Hatzair, a pioneering Zionist youth organization that combined Hirsch’s two passions.

He relocated to Frankfurt to lead a scouting group there, which he did only briefly. Just 17, he became the subject of gossip that he might be gay. Although never accused of inappropriate behavior of misconduct, he moved to Dresden, where he worked with Maccabi Hatzair as a sports instructor.

Life in Germany now became extremely difficult for the country’s minority communities, including Jews and homosexuals. Hirsch, of course, was both. On June 28, 1935, the fascists expanded the law against same-sex intimacy to include any act that “offended the general sense of shame;” courts, defining it as they pleased, could send gay men to prison simply for holding hands with each other. (California passed a similar statute in 1903, criminalizing conduct “that outraged public decency.”)

Within three months, on September 15, the infamous Nuremberg Laws revoked the citizenship of Jewish and Roma people living under German authority, leaving them without civil or human rights. Hirsch fled to Czechoslovakia. He was 19.

Alfred “Fredy” Hirsch had humanity. During morality’s darkest years he fought against barbarous, malevolent peoJan Mautner ple and their murderous policies, devoting his life to the welfare and well-being of chilHirsch applied for a job with dren. He worked to protect Maccabi Hatzair in Prague, them from deliberate, but the organization overwhelming physwas reluctant to hire ical and emotional him until he conharm; to maintain vinced its leadtheir self-esteem ership that his against virulent sexual orienbigotry; and to tation did not prepare them influence or for a better affect his work life, however in any way. slim their posEventually, sibility of surhe settled in vival became.

Brno, where he became a youth Born in 1916 counselor and in Aachen, physical educaCharlemagne’s tion coach, as well imperial city, as an active member Hirsch was a chamof HeHalutz, a Zionist pion of physical fitness Jan Mautner youth association. and an ardent Zionist from a (right) with his young age. In his early teens, he new partner Hirsch met Jan Mautner, joined the neighborhood Jewish Walter Löwy known affectionally as Jenda, after 1945 youth association. Then, barely through Brno’s chapter of 15, he helped to found the Maccabi Hatzair. Four years local chapter of the Jewish Scouting his senior, Mautner, who grew up Association of Germany ( JDP).

in Moravia, was a medical student at Masaryk University. Although same-sex intimacy was illegal in Czechoslovakia too, the two men moved in together, living as openly as possible. People acquainted with them said later that they were well known as a couple.

Hirsch, unfortunately, could not escape from the increasing horror of Nazism. On September 30,1938, fascist Germany annexed the Sudetenland in western Czechoslovakia. Less than 6 months later, on March 15, 1939, it seized the rest of the country.

Survivors in the Theresienstadt ghetto at the time of liberation.

While Mautner continued his studies in Brno, Hirsch returned to Prague, where he worked with Jewish youngsters who desired to immigrate to Palestine.

As the new fascist government began revoking the rights of Czech Jews, Hirsch helped eighteen boys, aged 12–14, escape to Denmark; they reached their new homeland the next year. No one knew then that he had saved their lives.

In 1940, after the Nazis closed Czechoslovakia’s universities, Mautner joined Hirsch in Prague, where they continued their life together. Now both worked fulltime to assist Jewish youth. When Jews were banned from other public spaces, Hirsch created a playground at Hagibor, in the city’s Strašnice municipal district, where he and Mautner organized physical fitness classes, soccer matches and athletic competitions. (In 1944, it became the location of a forced-labor camp for people from so-called “mixed marriages.”)

Theresienstadt ghetto

The next year, the Nazis began systematically deporting Prague’s Jewish residents, first to the Litzmannstadt Ghetto in Poland, and then to Theresienstadt, a transit camp for Czech Jews destined for the killing centers of eastern Europe.

Hirsch was one of the first to be sent there, arriving on December 4, 1941.

At Theresienstadt, Hirsch realized early on that the best chance for the children to survive was by maintaining their health and self-esteem with structure: strict hygiene and grooming, classroom lessons and regular exercise. All of these had been forbidden to them, but he convinced their captors that his efforts to better the children’s lives helped to maintain order, so they mostly let him be.

In October 1943, after 22 months in Theresienstadt, the Nazis sent Hirsch and the children he supervised to the death camp at Auschwitz. Following his guidelines with the youth he chaperoned in the family block there, he eased their suffering somewhat and reduced

Alfred “Fredy” Hirsch’s tragic journey from Aachen to Auschwitz Fredy Hirsch

their immediate mortality rate almost to zero. Ultimately, however, almost all perished, including Hirsch, who was driven to the gas chambers and murdered with them on March 8, 1944. He was 28 years old.

Mautner survived the Nazi atrocities against him. He was deported to Auschwitz in December 1943, two months after Hirsch had been sent there, but probably they never saw each other again. In 1944, he was moved to Schwarzheide, a slave labor camp. The next year, ahead of advancing Soviet troops, he was forced into a death march back toward Theresienstadt. He was among the very few who reached the ghetto alive.

Archway at Theresienstadt bearing the phrase, “Arbeit Macht Frei” 14

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Photos courtesy of Bill Lipsky

After the war, Mautner completed his medical studies, worked as a physician and found love with Walter Löwy, a pharmacist. He died in Prague on September 2, 1951, only 38 years old, of the tubercu-

losis he contracted in the concentration camps. Five years after the conflagration ended, the Holocaust claimed yet another victim.

After peace returned, the world hoped that the vicious, deadly xenophobia, homophobia and anti-semitism of the Nazis would follow them onto the dustheap of history. Sadly they remain among the evils that die not, but lurk always in the shadows.

As Aldous Huxley cautioned, “The price of liberty, and even of common humanity, is eternal vigilance.”

Bill Lipsky, Ph.D., author of “Gay and Lesbian San Francisco” (2006), is a member of the Rainbow Honor Walk board of directors.

Bay Area LGBT Sports Trailblazers Sheryl Phipps and Barb Pershing of Inferno Softball of giving everyone a second chance regardless of their past.

inatory, and supportive environment.

Inferno Softball fosters self‐confidence in athletics for a population that may have experienced ridicule or discrimination while participating in sports in their youth.”

Sports John Chen Once upon a time, LGBT athletes had no safe place where we could play ball, no safe place to call home field, and no safe place to be our true selves. It took one of the darkest and most tragic times in history, the AIDS epidemic, for gay sports to rise to world-wide prominence. In 1980, San Francisco’s 15th Street Tennis Courts became ground zero for the LGBT sports movement where Les Balmain and The Gladiator held the first tennis clinic to teach gay men a healthy lifestyle. LGBT sports thereafter gained tremendous momentum. National governing bodies were formed, starting with gay tennis in 1980, soccer in 1992, rugby in 2000, football in 2002 and basketball in 2003.

Since 1980, softball has been the most visible gay sport providing a safe, healthy and social haven for LGBT athletes. Here in San Francisco, a couple of trailblazing women, Sheryl Phipps and Barbara (Barb) Pershing, co-founded and anchor the largest LGBT softball group, the Inferno, with the mission

Phipps is very much a people person, a front woman and an energetic visionary. Pershing, on the other hand, thrives behind the scenes, completing laborious logistics and managing projects. On a hot day, over 110 degrees, Phipps brought Pershing cold drinks and watermelon. On that same hot day, Phipps found out that Pershing is a big fan of Karen Carpenter, and that helped to seal the deal for her. The two immediately had a great connection and synergy, and they seemed destined to be together and to accomplish great things in softball.

After graduating from law school in San Francisco, Phipps planted roots in the Bay Area and that plan, of course, included Pershing. Softball is a passion and a bond, and goes hand in hand with the two women wherever they go.

In 2006, the couple joined the Inferno softball team competing in the D Division of the San Francisco Gay Softball League (SFGSL). With Phipps’ coaching and Pershing’s supportive guidance, their team won the division in 2007. Their success parlayed the Inferno team to grow quickly into two teams, and then four teams, and now a conglomerate of nine teams.

PHOTO COURTESY OF JOHN CHEN

Phipps and Pershing met playing softball in Tucson, Arizona, in the early 1990s. Phipps started playing softball at a young age and has been playing, coaching and managing ever since. Pershing got involved with softball as an adult, mainly to meet gay women and feel a sense of belonging.

Sheryl Phipps and Barb Pershing

Under their leadership, Inferno Softball aligned with a 501(c)3 nonprofit, flourished and created a mission to “provide adults with an opportunity to play softball in a safe non‐discrim-

Just as importantly, Inferno has given hundreds of LGBT members a second chance when no one else wanted them. Many Inferno athletes come from abandonment, hopelessness, solitude and even formerly destructive lifestyles. Phipps and Pershing welcome all, helping newcomers to build confidence through athletic success, and giving them a place where they feel a sense of belonging.

At practices, Phipps teaches softball lessons and Pershing demonstrates the lessons. During games, Phipps coaches her players and manages

Take Me Home with You! Ellie

the game while her partner scouts the opposing teams, takes copious notes and keeps score. In organizational strategic planning and fundraising, Phipps lays out the future and works out deals; Pershing carries out and implements the logistics.

They work perfectly together and it’s a match made in heaven! This couple truly embody the adage, “Behind every great [wo]man there’s a great woman.”

With Inferno Softball, there’s a team for anyone and everyone no matter the skills and/or background. And a first in San Francisco history: since 2013, Inferno sponsors an all transgender team, the T-Rex. Phipps and Pershing work tirelessly in getting (continued on page 26)

Ellie is presented to San Francisco Bay Times readers by Dr. Jennifer Scarlett, the SF SPCA’s Co-President. Our thanks also go to Krista Maloney for helping to get the word out about lovable pets like Ellie.

To meet Ellie, as well Dr. Jennifer Scarlett and Pup as other pets seeking their forever homes, please visit:

“My name is Ellie! I love covering everyone I meet in kisses to make sure they feel welcome. Despite being 45 pounds, I make a good effort to be a lap dog. Weight is just a number! I’m currently recovering from hip surgery, so I’m moving a bit more slowly than normal, but I’ll be back to my energetic self very soon. I’d love to meet you!”

San Francisco SPCA Mission Campus 250 Florida Street San Francisco, CA 94103 415-522-3500 Aside from major holidays, the adoption center is open Mon–Fri: 1–6 pm and Sat–Sun: 10 am–5 pm. Free parking is available for those wishing to adopt!

For more information: https://www.sfspca.org/adoptions

S AN F R ANC IS C O BAY T IM ES

M AY 16, 2019

15

A Quest to Find the Best Mai Tai in San Francisco

Trader Vic’s Mai Tai (left) and bartender Vic Bergeron

TRADER VIC’S ORIGINAL MAI TAI RECIPE

The Gay Gourmet David Landis There is something about a Mai Tai that instantly transports you to a tropical island. Perhaps that is why it is one of my favorite drinks. The problem? Most people don’t know how to make a proper Mai Tai. So, dear readers, I’ve saved you the trouble and compiled a handy list of San Francisco’s best Mai Tais. But first, a little history: According to Wikipedia, “Restaurateur Victor J. Bergeron claimed to have invented the Mai Tai in 1944 at his restaurant, Trader Vic’s in Oakland, California, (formerly Hinky Dink’s). Trader Vic’s forerunner, Donn Beach, also took credit for creating the drink in 1933, although a longtime colleague said that Beach was just alleging that the Mai Tai was based on his Q.B. Cooler cocktail. The name ostensibly was taken from maita’i, the Tahitian word for ‘good’ or ‘excellence,’ although the drink is usually spelled as two words. A slightly different interpretation is explained by Trader Vic’s, namely that ‘a guest exclaimed, ‘Mai Tai Roa Ae!’ or, ‘Out of this world!,’ when originally served this drink.”

Wikipedia continues, “Most current recipes for Mai Tais are based on Trader Vic’s 1944 recipe and include rum, lime juice, orgeat syrup and orange liqueur (typically orange curaçao). Trader Vic’s contends that an early version had rock candy.

Various books from Victor Bergeron described using rum from Jamaica as well as from Martinique, which in modern usage is a Rhum Agricole.

But Martin and Rebecca Cate from San Francisco’s Smuggler’s Cove attest that the Martinique rums used

by Bergeron in the 1950s were most certainly not agricole rums.”

Now synonymous with tiki culture, Mai Tais gained their popularity in the 1950s and have become fashionable again, especially in the Bay Area. So, where to go to enjoy them?

Any mention of the Mai Tai drink has to begin where it all began: Trader Vic’s, now located on the marina in Emeryville (moved from its original Oakland location). Entering this homage to tiki culture is like stepping into a Polynesian portal from the past, with the added bonus of some of the Bay Area’s best views of San Francisco and the Bay.

Trader Vic’s

and be seen” restaurant of its heyday. Trader Vic’s continued until 1996, when it closed its Tenderloin location. In 2004, a reincarnation of Trader Vic’s took over the old Stars restaurant on Golden Gate Avenue in San Francisco’s Civic Center.

But it never quite found its footing and closed permanently in late 2007.

Luckily, the original is still with us.

Here are some more great places to try a real Mai Tai in San Francisco: Palm House Half the fun at this lively Cow Hollow restaurant is sitting outside on a sunny day. The Palm House has one of the best sidewalk patios in the City. But venture inside, sit at the bar and talk with Beverage Director Fatima or Bartender JP and you’re in for a surprise: a variation on the Mai Tai that’s all their own.

The Palm House uses Two Hands orgeat, Kraken spiced rum, a light rum and lime juice—and serves it up in a coconut shell. Order it with a side shot of dark rum just to gild the lily. The drink is topped with a tiny umbrella and their signature orchid.

After a few sips, you’re halfway to Hawaii. https://www.palmhousesf.com/

Palm House

Smuggler’s Cove This Hayes Valley mainstay reinvented tiki in a modern way. For their signature Mai Tais, they make their own orgeat, but follow the guidelines for Trader Vic’s famous 1944 recipe. The 3-story bar has a small waterfall and pond, bars on

2 ounces Jamaican and Martinique Rums 1 ounce fresh lime juice 1/2 ounce orange Curaçao 1/2 ounce orgeat 3–4 crushed ice cubes Shake to mix and place in a rock glass. Garnish with lime and a sprig of mint. two levels and a private upstairs lounge. The establishment is a proud James Beard award winner and the knowledgeable owners have written one of the best books on tiki culture and drinks. http://www.smugglerscovesf.com/ Pagan Idol For pure fun, it’s hard to beat this Financial District watering hole.

Complete with an erupting volcano, Pagan Idol is located on Kearny Street, once home to the “infamous” Tiki Bob’s Mainland Rendezvous.

One thing I like about the Pagan Idol Mai Tai is that it has a hint of passion fruit, but it’s not overpowering. If you’re looking for a tropical getaway after work, this is the place to be. (Insider’s tip: Try and nab the private booths in the back, but you’ll have to arrive early.) https://www.paganidol.com/ Del Mar Only in San Francisco would you combine drinks with swings, but Del Mar does it with aplomb. Go early before the crowds and grab a seat at one of the tables surrounded by swings that, thankfully, are also secured to the floor. The bar’s back area is made for games of all stripes.

While you sip your classic Mai Tai, you’ll understand why San Francisco Magazine deservedly named Del Mar “San Francisco’s best Tiki Bar (2018).” https://delmarsf.com/ Anina One of the city’s most inviting places to drink al fresco, Anina is smackdab in the middle of hopping Hayes Valley. The outdoor area is perfect for your playful pooch, but I prefer sitting at the bar and chewing the fat with bartenders Sam or Carlos, who make you feel like you’re at a contemporary Cheers. The secret to their Mai Tai? A splash of Angostura (continued on page 27)

Trader Vic’s has an entire menu dedicated to the classic cocktail: everything from the original 1944 version to a Passion Tai to a Maui Tai. But truth be told, my personal favorite is the San Francisco Mai Tai, so called because it has a float of Bacardi 151 rum and was made famous by the bartenders at the now-closed San Francisco outpost. For those who may not remember, Trader Vic’s in San Francisco was formerly on Cosmo Place, the site of the current Le Colonial.

It opened in the City in 1951, became the darling of San Francisco society (all vying to sit in the famed “Captain’s Cabin”) and was the “see 16

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Tonga Room

Donna’s Chronicles

By Donna Sachet

O

ur weekend visit to Santa Barbara couldn’t have been more pleasant, anchored by Pacific Pride Foundation’s Royal Ball on Saturday night at the sprawling and luxurious Rosewood Miramar Beach Hotel. We gathered first at the splendid Spanish revival home of our hosts Michael Loftis & Erik Nickel where we stayed with Richard Sablatura in pampered comfort and Peanut enjoyed the hospitality of Marco, Milo and Sophia. After Champagne and cocktails there, we caravanned to the hotel, where we were delighted to see so many guests arriving dressed thematically with rich costumes and even a smattering of tiaras and diadems. Needless to say, the official crown of the Imperial Court of San Francisco rested proudly on this head. The balmy weather supported the open-air setting and locals were gracious and complimentary, as we perused the extensive silent auction and purchased raffle tickets. Remarkably, even in Santa Barbara we ran into San Francisco connections and friends, like Kenny Nelson & Thomas Fant, and made new friends, including Cristi Walden, Greg Dahlen, Joseph Perulli, Rebecca Thompson and Thomas Rollerson & Michael Erickson. A short program with speakers from the leadership of the Foundation, a couple of individuals directly benefiting from the Foundation’s work, live auction and other fundraising was followed by a sumptuous buffet, continuous cocktails and lively conversation. The Pacific Pride Foundation supports an ambitious array of health and education programs, as well as their annual Pacific Pride Festival. The evening ended in the beautifully draped and lit ballroom with ensemble entertainment on stage and vigorous dancing among enthusiastic guests. The rest of the weekend was spent exploring restaurants and sightseeing in a seaside town with rolling hills, picturesque vistas and a lovely Mediterranean flavor. While the airport is infamous for delays, any travel inconveniences were quickly forgotten amid the generosity and hospitality of our hosts and their friends. Consider Santa Barbara for your next weekend getaway!

The Commonwealth Club last week hosted Dustin Lance Black touring with his new book Mama’s Boy, A Story from Our Americas. The Marines’ Memorial ballroom was filled with local supporters including Sister Roma, Mike Youens, Mark Leno, Anne Kronenberg and Linda Lee. Interviewed by KQED’s Mina Kim, Lance spoke movingly of his mother, who is featured throughout the book, and of how his life was shaped by family, religion and intolerance, yet transformed by courage and curiosity. This Academy Award winning screenwriter captured the audience with his candor and emotion. We can’t wait to see what is next for a tremendously talented and deeply committed activist. Manny’s hosted a post-reception, where throngs of supporters had more personal one-on-one contact with Lance.

Saturday night found us back at The Fairmont Hotel for Equality California’s 20th annual gala joined by the dazzling Suzan Revah. At the VIP reception in the Vanderbilt Room and general reception following, we chatted with City Treasurer José Cisneros & Mark Kelleher, Tom Temprano, Patrick Carney & Hossein Carney, Gordon Crespo, David Perry & Alfredo Casuso, Mario Diaz, Ken Coelho, Joe Seiler, Leslie Katz, Bevan Dufty & Corey Lambert, Eliot Temple, Anna Damiani and many others as the room swirled with excitement. Inside the ballroom, elected officials were well represented in the crowd and on stage. Assemblymember Evan Low and Supervisor Rafael Mandelman opened the program, introducing as emcee celebrity transgender activist Carmen Carrera, who set the tone for the evening with a heartfelt plea for unity, involvement and true self-expression. Mayor London Breed gave a glowing introduction to State Senator Scott Wiener before presenting him with the Vanguard Award and surprising him with a birthday cake while lip-synching Marilyn Monroe’s infamous singing to President John F. Kennedy. John Rahaim received the Civic Leadership Award, deferring credit to his hard-working team, and Executive Director Rick Zbur gave an inspiring address, clearly identifying EQCA’s historic achievements and outlining its ongoing challenges on behalf of our community. This event was about fundraising after all, so emcee Carmen and popular personality Jai Rodriguez teamed up to work the audience in a spirited fund-a-need period. They proved irresistible, raising thousands of dollars in a few raucous minutes.

During dinner, we were making the usual rounds, visiting various tables, when we suddenly found ourselves beckoned over by Rita Moreno, who would later receive the Ally Leadership Award. We are honored to have gotten to know her over the years, particularly through her participation in Richmond/Ermet Aid Foundation events, and this chance meeting was the perfect opportunity to introduce her to Suzan, who has long admired Ms. Moreno. Needless to say, Suzan was thrilled, Ms. Moreno was gracious and lovely, and we were pleased. When she later received her award on stage, Ms. Moreno truly brought the house down with her poignant memories of childhood discrimination, sassy and irreverent crowd-pleasing comments, and words of genuine gratitude and appreciation for the LGBTQ Community. Providing the perfect conclusion to the program, award-winning soprano Breanna Sinclaire sang “Somewhere” from West Side Story. The evening ended with the crowd relaxing a bit on the dance floor with DJ Jackie House providing classic hits and familiar anthems.

“It’s always seemed to me rather pointless to disapprove of homosexuality. It’s like disapproving of rain.”

–Francis Maude

Calendar a/la Sachet Every Sunday Sunday’s a Drag!

The Starlight Room Sir Francis Drake Hotel 10:30 am Brunch, 11:30 am Show $75 inclusive https://bit.ly/2OB4Gur Thursday, May 16 The Mayor of Folsom Street: The Life and Legacy of Alan Selby GLBT Historical Society Museum 4127 18th Street 7–9 pm $5, free for members https://www.glbthistory.org/visitor-info Saturday, May 18 Spotlight on Broadway!

SF Lesbian/Gay Freedom Band Hosted by Donna Sachet 8 pm Sir Francis Drake Hotel 450 Powell Street $65 & up https://sflgf b.townalive.com/ Sunday, May 19 Harvey Milk Plaza Celebration Music, food, & plans for Harvey Milk Plaza Messages from SF leaders Presented by Friends of Harvey Milk Plaza 2–5 pm Harvey Milk Plaza Free after registration https://bit.ly/2vZvpt0 Monday, May 20 Stoli Key West Cocktail Classic Annual Bartender Competition Hosted by Patrik Gallineaux & Donna Sachet Entertainment by LaToya London 7–10 pm Hamburger Mary’s 531 Castro Street Free! www.facebook.com/stolikeywest/events

Tonight, Thursday, May 16, 7–9 pm, we’ll be at the GLBT Historical Society Museum on 18th Street for the opening of The Mayor of Folsom Street: The Life and Legacy of Alan Selby. Curated by Jordy Jones, Jeremy Prince and Gayle Rubin, this exhibit gives proper recognition to the life of this legendary Leatherman, founder of the iconic Mr. S Leather retail store. We invite all of those who knew and loved him, as well as curious newcomers, to join us.

As the magical month of June draws near, plan for your calendar to fill up with events galore, including the California Democratic Party State Convention, May 31–June 2; Rainbow Honor Walk’s reception at Google, Monday, June 3; PAWS Petchitecture, (Left to Right) Cristi Walden, Greg Dahlen, Michael Loftis, Donna Sachet, Richard Sablatura, and Erik Nickel at the Rosewood Miramar Thursday, June 6; Broadway Bares: San Beach Hotel in Santa Barbara Francisco Strips IV, Sunday, June 16; SF Gay Men’s Chorus Queens concert, Friday & Saturday, June 21–22; and Gary Virginia & Donna Sachet’s Pride Brunch, Saturday, June 29, at the Westin St. Francis Hotel. Watch this column for the latest details.

Donna Sachet is a celebrated performer, fundraiser, activist and philanthropist who has dedicated over two decades to the LGBTQ Community in San Francisco.

Contact her at empsachet@gmail.com PHOTO BY SHAWN NORTHCUTT

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Life Lessons in the Alps Photos Courtesy of Tim Seelig and said, “I will study here someday.” Then we were off to the next country.

TLC: Tears, Laughs and Conversation Dr. Tim Seelig Last week I went to Switzerland.

The trip brought up a plethora of life lessons that may sound trite, but all are applicable to what I experienced.

Never say never.

Time heals.

You can go home.

Don’t dwell on your failures.

Yay Karma. (I made that one up).

During the trip, I had the absolute privilege of attending the European premiere of SFGMC’s new documentary, Gay Chorus Deep South, in Zurich, Switzerland. We were floating on clouds having traveled there directly from Tribeca in New York City where we won the Audience Documentary Favorite Award. But as much as I would love to tell you all about the documentary, this story is not about that. It was about a personal journey of mine—one that brought me to a place I never thought I would visit again in this lifetime: St. Gallen, Switzerland, 40 miles outside Zurich.

41 years ago this month, May, 1978, I took a train to St. Gallen, smelling of equal parts desperation and determination. I was on an audition tour of opera houses across Europe, chasing my long-held dream. Allow me to go even farther back to briefly describe how that came to be.

In the summer of 1969, between my senior year in high school and freshman year in college, Mom and Dad made it possible for me to see Europe by forming a tour group of friends and fellow Baptists to go with us. We got to go free as the tour “guides.” They both understood the importance of travel as a part of a good education. Hours after we left for Europe, our house burned down. It was arson. A story for another time. When we hit Salburg, Austria, I stood in front of the Mozarteum, the conservatory bearing none other than his name,

Being a bit goal driven and stubborn, five years later, my wife and I headed to Salzburg. At the end of two years, having mastered German, because all the courses were, of course, taught in German, I graduated from the Mozarteum with the equivalent of a master’s degree. I had the most spectacular voice teacher, Frau Professor Kammersangerin Hanna Ludwig.

She was amazing, and I felt incredibly lucky to have studied with her.

Before I left, I was offered a job singing in Vienna, but Hanna said I wasn’t ready, I was too young and that I should go back to the states and continue my study. I trusted her and headed home to begin my doctorate.

Sure enough, three years later, Hanna called. “There is the perfect position for you in Linz, Austria.

They are looking for a Figaro and you’re perfect. You must get here!”

We had no money. Along with school, we had created two children. I had financed most of my own education up to that point, so I did the unthinkable and asked my parents for a loan. Off I went, leaving Vicki and the two kids at home in Denton, Texas—all of this on a shoestring financially. It was crazy.

Full-time jobs as opera singers are as difficult to get as a job playing in the NBA. I’d already done that. It was a big leap of faith. But I trusted Hanna that Linz, Austria, was waiting just for me and I would finally fulfill my dream of singing opera in Europe!

I flew to Salzburg to brush up my audition pieces with Hanna. Then, I got on the train to Linz. It is stunningly beautiful. I walked to the opera house and warmed up in the bathroom on the 4th floor.

(Bathrooms are great warm-up facilities). It was my turn.

I entered the stage, gave my music to the accompanist and looked out on a dark theater. A voice from the dark welcomed me—in German, of course—and asked for my first piece. I sang a killer aria from The Marriage of Figaro, knowing that was what they were looking for. After that he asked for another aria and then another. I was thrilled. When I finished, he said, “Your voice is beautiful. Your acting is extraordinary. You would be perfect for the opening we have. Unfortunately, we filled that position last week.

Corianna and Judson in Swiss outfits

Zurich Gay Men’s Chorus (2019)

Tim in The Marriage of Figaro in St. Gallen, Switzerland (1980)

Danke.” I barely remember walking off the stage. I do remember returning to the 4th floor bathroom, locking the door and literally falling, weeping into the fetal position. I wept because of my folly. My selfishness. My family back home who had sacrificed everything so I could chase this dream.

On the train back to Salzburg, I threw myself a fabulous pity party for one. Hanna was having none of it. When I got back to her home, she said, “Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Worse things will happen in your life. Get up and finish the audition tour we set up for you. Off you go!” The remainder of the audition trip through Austria, Germany and then Switzerland, I thought, “Whatever. I can’t change my flight home. I might as well sing for my Schnitzel.” St. Gallen was my last stop. Even though defeated and ready to go home, I sang my heart out knowing that it was probably the last time I would ever sing in Europe. They said, “Danke.

Don’t call us. We’ll call you.” And I headed home, tail tucked firmly between my legs.

That fall, 1979, I started my very first full-time university teaching job at Houston Baptist University. I had no more begun teaching than a telegram arrived. Lieber Herr Seelig. (stop) It is our pleasure to offer you the position of lead baritone in the Swiss National Opera in St. Gallen, Switzerland. (stop) Please respond. (stop).” All of that in German, of course, and no, dang it, I did not save it! I responded.

What to do next? Well, I told the school I was leaving after one year

and we spent the next 9 months preparing for a move to Europe. My next train ride to St. Gallen was a year later, 1980, armed with a contract with the Swiss National Opera, a wife and two kids, ages one and three, diapers, formula and heavy winter clothes (hard to find in Houston). I was ready to conquer the operatic world! I didn’t.

St. Gallen represents both the pinnacle of and the end to my dream of singing opera. It was not for me on so many levels. My personality profile is the complete opposite of what it takes to be an opera singer.

I was destined to be a teacher, and, who knew, a conductor. We came home in 1981. Once again, my tail tucked.

Fast forward almost 40 years to my trip to St. Gallen last week. It was filled with emotions, as you can imagine. In that place, my operatic career came to an end. I had wonderful times with my kids in wonders of the Alps. But that was then and now is now.

Riding that train, it was clear that I am a completely different man. I hope to post the whole story about Salzburg on my website soon. I cannot imagine what life would be today had I stayed in St. Gallen and in that career. I am grateful beyond words that it did not happen! Shortly thereafter, I came out.

That story has been told! One year later, needing a job, someone told me there was a gay chorus (I had no idea that there was such a thing) in Dallas, looking for a conductor. I auditioned and got the job thinking, “This is not my passion, I’ll stay one year to pay child support.” I found out it was, indeed, my passion and stayed there 20 years and have been conducting LGBTQ+ choruses for 32 years.

But here I was returning to watch a film in which I appear, with a chorus that I conduct as the star!

I was there for a screening that was followed with a two-plus minute standing ovation from the audience—and the Swiss are not known for emotion such as that. In fact, people at the festival said it was

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Tim Seelig returned to St. Gallen and stood in front of the Opera House where he sang decades ago (2019)

the only standing ovation that they had ever seen. People were visibly moved. The screening was followed by a performance of the Zurich Gay Men’s Chorus, SCHMATZ. They were amazing.

I took my third train ride “home” to exorcise some demons, to ponder my life over the last 40 years and to see quite clearly that I had made the right choice. Had I not left St. Gallen, I would never have come to the city I adore and my real dream job in San Francisco.

Oh boy were some life lessons learned.

Never say never. Upon leaving St. Gallen, I had said I would never return there.

Time heals. The pain of the experience has been replaced with amazing, joyful memories.

You can go home.

Don’t dwell on the failures. It is not the successes in life that build character; it’s the failures and how you respond to them.

Yay Karma. You do good things with your life and for people, live it in gratitude and, indeed, karma will return that good to you.

Oh, life lessons in the Alps. Not a bad place to learn hard lessons.

These are perhaps lessons for you as well. Face your opportunities with determination and excitement.

Perhaps the same thing will happen to you. I chose a path and pursued it with gusto. When it was not working out a friend said, “You chose one path when the road split. When you get down the end of your path and there is a dead end, how long are you going to beat your head against that brick wall before going back to the crossroads and taking the other path.” It’s exactly what I did and I’ve never looked back.

Dr. Tim Seelig is the Artistic Director of the San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus.

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LGBTQ News & Calendar for the Bay Area CELEBRATING FOUR DECADES (1978–2019)

From the Coming Up Events Calendar See page 28

Monday, May 20 - Stacey Abrams @ Luther Burbank Center for the Arts, 50 Mark West Springs Road, Santa Rosa. The new Democratic star will discuss and sign her new book “Lead from the Outside.” 6pm. http://www.lutherburbankcenter.org

Saturday, May 25 - SFSPCA Cuddle Me @ SFSPCA Pacific Heights, 2343 Fillmore Street. You can cuddle with adorable, adoptable animals and get all the kisses you want. 11am-5pm. https://events.sfspca.org/pacificheights

Lesbian Love and Life Featured in Swedish Sci-Fi Space Flick heads in a foam pillow to experience memories of Earth. Mimaroben, for example, likes to reflect on nature and eating raspberries. Others envision scenes from their lives. The room is initially not very popular until Aniara goes off course, and suddenly, everyone wants to escape their present reality and recall a happier past. Mimaroben cannot handle the overwhelming demand.

Film Gary M. Kramer The imaginative Swedish sci-fi film Aniara opens with what looks like an end credits crawl as images of disasters unspool behind them.

“Say goodbye to Earth,” someone instructs as people look out the window on Aniara, a transport craft that resembles a floating cruise ship, complete with restaurants, shopping malls, arcades and a gym.

The crew and passengers are headed to Mars, where life will continue after the three-week space journey to a new home. But what happens in Aniara, which opens May 17 in the Bay Area, is not unlike, well, Gilligan’s Island. When the ship veers off course, everyone is trapped for an indeterminant period of time. In those ensuing years—and they are years—there are hopes for rescue.

Meanwhile, society breaks down.

Co-written and directed by Pella Kågerman and Hugo Lilja, and based on the epic poem by Harry Martinson, Aniara posits big philosophical themes of life, death and birth, as well as love and sex, and anxiety, and despair. The main character is Mimaroben (Emelie Jonsson), who manages Mima Hall, which can best be described as an “escape room,” but not in the sense that phrase is used today.

At Mima Hall, passengers take off their shoes, lie down and put their

One of the visitors to Mima Hall is Isagel (Bianca Cruzeiro), a comely pilot that Mimaroben is attracted to.

She can hardly suppress her lust spying on and admiring Isagel in Mira Hall or in a pool where they meet one night when they both can’t sleep.

The women’s romance shifts into high gear when they are reassigned jobs and end up rooming together.

Isagel and Mimaroben start to dance, they soon share a shower, a kiss and then have sex. Things get a bit complicated as the years pass, and they participate in a kind of orgy arranged by a kind of cult. While the film shrewdly offers only a title card about this secret society, as a result of the encounter, Isagel becomes pregnant.

Aniara uses the birth of Isagel’s child, as well as the rescue mission that avails after years of orbiting, as a way of commenting on the preciousness of life in the crucible that is the transport ship. The film asks—but deliberately does not answer—larger questions, such as how do we provide for future generations, while it also contemplates immediate concerns on how do we manage our food, education and even our pleasure in a society that is decaying. It is an obvious, but critical, allegory for life on Earth.

Yet while this fable is compelling, it does not generate much emotion as it presents its lessons for humanity.

Scenes where Mimaroben actively tries to save Mima Hall from being

destroyed by overuse, or a man experiencing the anxiety of what he fears to be impending death, are curiously unmoving. Likewise, while it is pleasing that the intimate relationship between Isagel and Mimaroben is accepted and not condemned, the bond between the women and their child feels underdeveloped.

Moreover, it becomes hard to care about the film’s characters because they are more symbols and cyphers

than actual people. Consider Mimaroben’s first roommate (Anneli Martini), a wise, older woman known as the astronomer, who is as cold and unfeeling as the spaceship’s design.

That said, the film’s visuals are impressive, particularly since Aniara has a relatively low budget. The special effects, from birds disintegrating in the sky, to the design of the spacecraft and the futuristic images that populate various screens in Mira Hall or elsewhere, are quite stimulating.

The performances are uneven.

Emelie Johnsson is sympathetic as Mimaroben, and she has a number of impassioned scenes and expressive moments, including a piercing meltdown. However, the film has too many didactic moments where her character serves as a guide for viewers to follow the action. In support, Bianca Cruzeiro is suitably enigmatic as the alluring Isagel, a woman who mostly represses her emotions.

She becomes more interesting once she becomes a mother, but Cruzeiro

KIT’N KITTY’S

QUEER POP QUIZ 22

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QUEER MONEY Who was the first transgender billionaire?

A) Caitlyn Jenner B) Chaz Bono C) Jennifer Pritzker D) Buck Angel ANSWER ON PAGE 26

is hampered by a script that does not sufficiently flesh out her character.

This drawback is indicative of the film’s greatest flaw: the drama overall is just too low-key. Aniara fails to generate sufficient interest in its drama; even the discussion of the ship being rescued is only briefly interesting. Viewers, like the characters aboard the transport ship, may just find themselves waiting, patiently, or with resignation, for it to all come to an end. © 2019 Gary M. Kramer Gary M. Kramer is the author of “Independent Queer Cinema: Reviews and Interviews,” and the co-editor of “Directory of World Cinema: Argentina.” Follow him on Twitter @garymkramer

Karin Jaffie, aka Kit/Kitty Tapata, won the title of Mr. Gay San Francisco in 2011 and has earned many other honors since.

Connect with Jaffie via Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/pg/ktapata

Sister Dana Sez: Words of Wisdumb from a Fun Nun

Sister Dana sez, “After so many instances of defending corrupt Trump, Bill Barr should be disbarred from the bar. Hey, look at that! I just used the word ‘bar’ three times in one sentence! Anywaaay ... remove Barr, and now please get me to the nearest bar!”

Step into the story... and become art Portraiture, Fine Art, Event Photography 415.481.5185 www.exlightstudio.com

The every first Thursday CASTRO ART WALK was once again abundant in art to enjoy on a self-guided tour of fifteen different Castro-centric venues. I always look forward to ART ATTACK (2358 Market Street) and two of my favorite artists, Serge Gay Jr. and Tracy Piper. Serge’s pieces are mostly black and grey with touches of gold. For instance, “Golden Ages” (number 33) is a depiction of metropolitan urban white city life being encroached upon by the dark jungle wilderness. “Head Start” (17) shows one racer pulling ahead of the pack, despite having a ball and chain around his foot.

I also enjoy (36) “Lift” as a series of four figures embracing. Tracy has a permanent home at Art Attack.

She uses her own technique of figures in extremely vivid colors, sometimes running together, sometimes dripping, blended and with outlining. Usually she has both male and female subjects, but this time, alas, only one male (23) “A Chance,” with a handsome African-American man with soulful eyes. The featured new artist is Natalia Lvova with a series of “heart” oils with rainbows inside: particularly (38) “Butterflies in My Belly,” (42) “You Are My Sunshine” with accent on yellow, and (43) “Flame of Love” with red as dominant color.

LOCAL TAKE (3979 17th Street) has every imaginable medium (woodcuts to paintings to laser cuts, etc.) portraying San Fran landscapes, including our beloved Castro.

DOG EARED BOOKS (489 Castro Street) features a series on samesex animal attraction by Katy Tanis with a long sheet of paper describing each species and its instances of queerness in nature as “normal.” I thought the two giraffes were charming being caught necking.

But so were the significant otters.

Lions celebrated “pride” together.

Male bees were getting busy.

SPARK ARTS (4229 18th Street) has a photo show of Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence “Sistory” by Heather Jacks. It is always a treat to hear the resident deejay Will Morgan spinning tunes. For a list of all the participating venues see https://bit.ly/2VBnRMj SIGNIFICANT OTHER is a hilarious and bittersweet play now featured through June 15 at SAN FRANCISCO PLAYHOUSE, 450 Post Street Floor 2M. A slight synopsis: Jordan Berman is looking for his own “Mr. Right.” Nothing is more important to him than his close group of girlfriends; but as they get married one by one by one, he, as eternal GBT (Gay Best Friend) is left to wonder why life won’t give him the same fairytale ending.

This is an unorthodox romantic comedy from award-winning playwright Joshua Harmon (Bad Jews, Admissions) that celebrates the highs and lows of twenty-something urban life—wedding after wedding

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MAITRI held its annual BLISS Gala on May 5 (Cinco de Mayo) at Mission Bay Conference Center at UCSF. Master of Ceremonies Michael Tate introduced Board Chair Mike Niemeyer, who welcomed everyone and thanked the attendees for helping to support such a worthy cause, now in its 32nd year of service of commitment to the community providing compassionate residential care to those living with advanced AIDS. Interim Executive Director Michael Smithwick said Maitri believes that no one should have to suffer or die alone. He said Maitri provides nonjudgmental, unconditional compassionate residential care to men and women in need of hospice or 24-hour care, and it cultivates the deepest respect and love for life among its residents and caregivers.

Smithwick concluded that while there have been great advances in HIV treatment, AIDS is far from over.

Two awards were given. Facilities and Administration Manager Greg Christian presented an award to Helga Sigvaldadottir. Maitri volunteer Mark Silva presented an award to “Bingo” Bob Gordon. The afternoon featured a delightful performance by jazz & cabaret singer Paula West. She adds drama and depth to every song she sings. I especially enjoy her Bossa Nova numbers.

Mayor London N. Breed announced the appointment by the WAR MEMORIAL BOARD OF TRUSTEES of John Caldon to serve as Managing Director of the San Francisco War Memorial and Performing Arts Center (WMPAC).

Caldon replaces Elizabeth Murray, who will retire in July 2019 after serving 22 years as Managing Director and 38 years with the War Memorial department.

RICHMOND/ERMET AID FOUNDATION (REAF) hosted a “One Night Only” benefit cabaret show with the touring cast of the hit Broadway show Roald Dahl’s “CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY” on May 6 at SF Oasis nightclub. REAF provides aid for HIV programs, hunger programs, and programs for homeless and underserved youth.

Producers Ken Henderson & Joe Seiler brought out the special guest emcee/performer, NYC drag diva, Ellie Monae. We did not see Willy Wonka and his gang creating tasty chocolate treats, nor did we hear numbers from “Charlie,” but we did get to enjoy the amazing cast members presenting an evening of outstanding music, dance and comedy in their own show. It opened with a medley of “candy” songs (i.e. “Lollypop Lollypop,” “Candy Store,” “Candy Man,” etc.) lip-synched

by Monae and backed up by dancers David Paul Kidder & Joe Moeller. Standout numbers were “Bridge Over Troubled Water” with incredible runs by Borris Anthony York; a very funny “Summer in Ohio” by Brynn Williams; “Quickly,” a bittersweet duet about making love while you still have time left to live, by Daniel Samuel & Tanisha Moore; “Dear Theodosia” from Hamilton by Williams &

PHOTO BY PAUL MARGOLIS

By Sister Dana Van Iquity

after wedding. Warning: you will be forced to attend every single shower and bridal thing for all of the girls ad nauseum. Gag me. On the upside, there will be hot gay male beefcake in a bathing suit. This is a talented ensemble cast, with the happy exception of its remarkable star, the amazing Kyle Cameron, who plays the hapless Jordan, and chews up the scenery in several parts, especially notable after an awesomely delivered monologue of emotion that will make the audience shout and clap uproariously. And a few tears may be shed. https://bit.ly/30lmPTe

Sister Dana was intrigued by the photograph of Sister Soami, one of the founding Sisters, included in the recent WOW (Wimples of the World) Exhibit at the Harvey Milk Photography Center.

Moore; a tender “Arms of a Woman” sung by David Ross Gordon (who was about to be married in 13 days); Natasha Bedingfield›s «Unwritten» belted out by Danny Guadino; and “The Greatest Star” from Funny Girl hammed up perfectly by Lily Kaufmann. And something a bit different was staged by Monae with dueling couples volunteering to “Lipsynch for Your Life” (as we see on every RuPaul’s Drag Race on TV) using the men’s arms in back between the ladies’ armpits in front with the women lip-synching “And I Am Telling You” from Dreamgirls. Both couples were so good, that it was declared a tie, and they were rewarded with free cocktails. It was a chocolate-free night, but it was still delicious!

On May 10, Mayor London N. Breed, Supervisor Hillary Ronen and community leaders celebrated the groundbreaking of Casa Adelante—1990 Folsom, a nine-story building in the Mission District that will provide 143 permanently affordable apartments for low-income families, including 25 percent for which families choosing to relocate from HOPE SF sites will have top waitlist preference.

ARTSAVESLIVES is well known in the art community as a huge supporter of the LGBTQ community, its performers and artists. A glorious reception was held at the Eureka Valley Rec Center, 100 Collingwood in the Castro on May 10. Before this, the last show featured elder LGBTQ people sitting for their portraits by artists. Now, they’ve had the opportunity to do a remarkable series of sittings with members of the transgender community, and do their portraits in various media. The artists of these pieces include: Thomasina Demaio (who also curated), Alexander Nowik, Billy Douglas, Steven Pomeroy, David York and Ed Terpening. To name just a few of the iconic transgenders portrayed: Donna Personna, Collette Le Grande, Veronica Fimbres, Shawn Demmons, Tita Aida, Landa Lakes, Just Shannon, Luis GuitierrezMock, Bubbles, Phatima Rude and Bambi Lake. These masterpieces will remain on display at least through May. Performers at the reception included Joe Tate and the Hippie Voices trio giving us “Dreamin’,” “Fools Rush In,” and “Dawning of Aquarius;” Jill McAnally yodeling to Kevin McConnelly on guitar, and stirring poetry of Llano River Blue.

The nation’s two leading LGBTQ military nonprofits, AMERICAN MILITARY PARTNER ASSOCIATION (AMPA) and OUTSERVESLDN, are combining forces by (continued on page 26)

Cinco de Mayo at Picante, Berkeley Picante in Berkeley opened its “Patio Cantina” for Cinco de Mayo, where adults quaffed refreshing margaritas and cervezas while kids enjoyed tortilla-making lessons and watched a Mexican artisan create papel picado: hand-cut paper featuring elaborate designs. Papel picado is always hung on the inside of the restaurant and for this day, was also outside where it danced in the wind.

PHOTOS BY JENNIFER L. VIEGAS

The celebratory Sunday offered a mix of sun and clouds, so many diners chose warming, soulsatisfying dishes such as sopa Azteca, which for us rates as one of the best soups in the Bay Area. The pasilla negro/roasted tomato-based broth is savory yet mild, with Mexican oregano adding an herbal accent and sliced avocado a buttery contrast to the soup’s perfectly cooked chicken. Picante’s gluten-free vegan sopa verde (not shown), with sorrel, tomatillos, hominy and avocado, is also deliciosa. http://www.picanteberkeley.com/

AGUILAS Cinco de Mayo Party

PHOTO BY JUAN R. DAVILA

PHOTO BY RINK

PHOTO BY RINK

In conjunction with their annual Cinco de Mayo party, members and friends of AGUILAS, the nonprofit serving Latino gay men, celebrated the tenure of staffer Erick Arguello, who leaves the organization for a new position with Glide Memorial Church, and the birthday of their supporter Norma Azucar. http://www.sfaguilas.org

San Francisco Imperial Court Cinco de Mayo Benefit

PHOTO BY RINK

PHOTO BY RINK

PHOTO BY RINK

PHOTO BY RINK

The San Francisco Imperial Court Annual Cinco de Mayo Benefit for the Fernando Robles Scholarship Fund was held on Saturday, May 4, at Cinch bar on Polk Street. Hosting were China Silk, AJA Monet, Marisol Miranda, John Carrillo and Alexis Miranda.

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ROSTOW (continued from page 13) Any Democrat is better than Trump, whether he or she is a card carrying socialist or a blue dog. I mean really! I’d vote for Mitt Romney if a higher power told me that was my only choice. I think I’ve mentioned several times that Joe Biden is too old to be president, but if he’s our best chance to beat Trump, he’s got my vote.

That said, I still love Mayor Pete and want him to have a big impact on the primary. I read that a sizable number of Americans don’t think a gay man can get elected president, and if that’s true (which is likely) I would not want to select such a risky nominee. But I do want him to continue to outshine the field and to help some of our dimmer compatriots realize that you can be gay and Christian, you can be gay and serve in the military, you can be gay and be thoughtful. Not that I would personally want to be any of those things, but still.

Penguins R Us I’m skipping legal news after devoting my entire column to the subject last time around. I’d like to skip gay news in general and blather on about nothing, but I know you’d be disappointed in me. And yet, I’m not up for the new brutality in Chechnya, where gay men are reportedly being tortured by electrocution. I want to ignore the latest from the kingdom of Brunei, where authorities have decided not to execute people for being gay after all. I don’t want to get into the brave protesters in Cuba, who went ahead with their pride demonstration after the government tried to shut it down. Nor do I want to discuss the efforts for and against marriage rights around the world.

But it’s all good, boys and girls, because we’ve got penguins! After many sad weeks with no penguin news, I was pleased to see that a zoo in Dingle, Ireland, announced that eight out of their 14 Gentoo penguins are gay, including two lesbian couples and two gay male pairs.

As with other gay penguins we’ve highlighted in previous columns, these couples are now busy polishing stones for each other and hatch-

SISTER DANA (continued from page 24) ing chicks to the best of their ability.

The lesbians “do what needs to be done” in order to get their eggs going, zookeepers say. The males, if history is our guide, must hope that a kindly staff member places an extra fertilized egg in their care.

Can we just agree by now that there’s something about penguins?

Every now and again we stumble over a gay sheep or lesbian swan.

But where the animal kingdom is concerned, the penguins win the rainbow prize. I wonder why? At any rate, I think we should make penguins our official community creature.

I just googled penguins for fun facts and was presented with a list of five questions people ask about penguins, presumably the result of some crowd-based algorithm. Question four was whether or not penguins eat humans (they do not, but who would think to ask that?) And question five asked, “What do penguins taste like?” According to what sounds like an old explorer’s log, they taste like: “a piece of beef, odiferous cod fish and a canvas-backed duck roasted together in a pot, with blood and cod-liver oil for sauce.”

Gross!

Nasty and Nastier Finally, I want to finish with what seems to be a small story, the ongoing fight by a married binational gay male couple to win American citizenship for both of their sons.

The men, Andrew and Elad DvashBands, married in 2010 and had fraternal twins, Ethan and Aiden, through a surrogate in Canada back in September of 2016. As an American, Andrew’s children would normally become U.S. citizens automatically, regardless of where they were born. But the Trump administration had different ideas. First, the four family members were forced to provide DNA samples, something the men had hoped to avoid. Second, when it turned out that Ethan was biologically related to Elad, but not to Andrew, the State Department rejected the baby’s application.

Ethan’s brother Aiden, by contrast, was biologically related to Andrew

rather than Elad, and as such was given American citizenship. But there is no such genetic test required of heterosexual parents. All it takes is one American parent to earn citizenship, and an American father in a binational straight marriage would not be obliged to prove his paternity in this fashion.

It’s true that the foreign-born children of unmarried American men have to jump through some hoops, otherwise it would be too easy to claim a random soldier or traveling salesman as a father, and take a shortcut to citizenship. But as I just mentioned, the offspring of heterosexual married men face no such obstacles. In view of this inequity, the two men sued the government and won in federal court last February. Up until that victory, the men had been living in L.A. with poor little Ethan residing on a tourist visa.

Now, unbelievably, the Trump administration has decided to appeal this decision to the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit. Can you frigging believe that our State Department harbors this kind of pettiness? I know that this is the administration known for snatching children from their migrant parents. So, I’m under no illusion that they have a shred of compassion. But they are also incompetent and careless. That’s why I’m surprised by this appeal, which would have required some organization and effort.

Some mean little busybody had to monitor the case and determine that keeping this child’s outsider status was a specific goal worth fighting for. For God’s sake, why? Red tape and the relics of an antigay bureaucracy might have caused the dilemma to begin with, but why on Earth take proactive steps to keep this family in harm’s way?

Readers, I just can’t stand these people! arostow@aol.com

CHEN (continued from page 15) business sponsorships, selling raffles and Jell-O-shots, and fundraising at major LGBT events such as Pride and Folsom Street Fair so that Inferno Softball can and will continue to support teams like T-Rex as well as the hundreds of players seeking social acceptance and a second chance in life.

Thanks to selfless and dedicated local LGBT sports leaders like Phipps and Pershing, and the national LGBT sports movement that paved the way, today we can play a plethora of LGBT sports in the Bay Area on any given day— social tennis doubles in San Francisco on Fridays, outdoor grass volleyball in Mountain View on Tuesdays, softball in Silicon Valley on Thursdays, and just about every sport you can think of on the weekend.

John Chen, a UCLA alumnus and an avid sports fan, has competed as well as coached tennis, volleyball, softball and football teams.

Read more online at www.sfbaytimes.com

KIT’N KITTY’S

QUEER POP QUIZ ANSWER (Question on page 22)

C) Jennifer Pritzker Jennifer Pritzker served as a Lieutenant Colonel in the Army, and founded the Tawani Foundation in 1995. Through the foundation, she seeks to donate to numerous civic causes. She is a member of the Pritzker family, one of the wealthiest in the U.S. Jay Pritzker (1922– 1999) co-founded the Hyatt hotel chain.

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merging to form MODERN MILITARY ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA as the nation’s largest nonprofit organization dedicated to education, advocacy and support for LGBTQ service members, military spouses, veterans, family members and allies.

2–5 pm, 541 Castro Street. THE FRIENDS OF HARVEY MILK PLAZA will be hosting a celebration of the plaza effort, where the latest renderings will be shared with the public for the first time. The event is free, but register at https://bit.ly/2vZvpt0

SAN FRANCISCO PRIDE is announcing the departure of Executive Director George F. Ridgely, Jr. After five-and-ahalf years in the role, Ridgely has announced that he will be stepping down after the 2019 event, which will be the sixth CELEBRATION AND PARADE under his leadership. The Board of Directors, grateful to Ridgely for his guidance and hard work, is evaluating the next step for San Francisco Pride’s leadership and will embark upon a search to fill the role. Ridgely has accepted a position with SAN FRANCISCO RECREATION AND PARKS DEPARTMENT beginning in mid-July, managing Permits and Reservations.

You are invited to the VIP GRAND OPENING of THE LGBT ASYLUM PROJECT to their new CENTER FOR IMMIGRANT PROTECTION’s new offices in the heart of San Francisco’s Castro District. The LGBT Asylum Project is a nonprofit organization that provides pro-bono legal representation for LGBT immigrants who are fleeing persecution and seeking asylum in the United States. Past clients of The LGBT Asylum Project will share their stories. Founders Okan Sengun and Brooke Westling will discuss the asylum process, and board members will be on hand to explain how you can help those who need us most (against the Trumpish homophobes and xenophobes who want to eliminate all immigrants).

Please RSVP by May 24 to: info@lgbtasylumproject.org www.lgbtasylumproject.org

Sister Dana sez, “We May be halfway through May, but there May be many more May events to check out. So Maybe try some of these!”

HARVEY MILK’S BIRTHDAY is May 22. If you are not aware of this iconic gay activist politico (first of all: shame on you), then Google it. ANNUAL HARVEY MILK DAY COMMEMORATION is Sunday, May 19, 1–2 pm in Harvey Milk Plaza. Music, comments and a march down Castro Street to 575 Castro, the former site of Harvey’s store, Castro Camera, will take place.

HARVEY MILK PLAZA CELEBRATION is Sunday, May 19,

ST. JAMES INFIRMARY is having its 20TH ANNIVERSARY GALA at Terra Gallery, 511 Harrison Street on Sunday, June 2, 6 pm–11 pm. It features performers including Jennifer Holliday, Marga Gomez, Lawrence Beaman and after-party performer Micah Tron. https://bit.ly/2VIkqDC Sister Dana sez, “Congratulations to Donald J. Rump for passing the 10,000 mark of falsifications since taking office.

Donnie, you now qualify for the coveted Liar Liar Pants on Fire award.”

NCLR IN THE COURTS (continued from page 4) the law is a major victory for LGBT students and safe schools. It paves the way for challenges to similar antiLGBT school laws that remain on the books in at least eight states. In March 2017, Utah Governor Gary Herbert signed SB196, repealing the contested law.

Walsh v. Friendship Village Sunset Hills NCLR, Relman, Dane & Colfax PLLC, and co-counsel filed a lawsuit in July 2018 on behalf of married lesbian couple Mary Walsh, age 72, and Bev Nance, age 68, against St. Louis senior housing community Friendship Village Sunset Hills. The complaint alleges that Friendship Village violated the federal Fair Housing Act and Missouri Human Rights Act by discriminating against Walsh and Nance on the basis of sex, denying them a unit because they are a samesex married couple.

Friendship Village told Walsh and Nance that it would not accept them because it followed the “Biblical definition” of marriage and “defined marriage as between a man and a woman.” Friendship Village is not affiliated with, or operated by, any religion or religious order; it is open to the public and does not inquire about the religious beliefs or affiliations of residents. Walsh and Nance considered seeking housing elsewhere, but Friendship Village is the only senior housing community in St. Louis that can provide increased levels of care without an increased monthly cost to residents.

“We’ve been together for nearly 40 years and have spent our lives in St. Louis. We want to grow older here by each other’s side,” said plaintiff Mary

Walsh. “We should not be prevented from accessing the housing and care we need.”

Walsh and Nance have both lived in St. Louis since childhood and have been in a committed relationship together since 1978. They first heard about Friendship Village from several friends who lived there. Nance became acquainted with it when she met a former colleague and his wife for lunch there. Then, Walsh and Nance went to dinner at Friendship Village to visit a friend living there with her husband. Walsh and Nance’s friends enthusiastically recommended Friendship Village and encouraged the couple to move there.

Before deciding on Friendship Village, Walsh and Nance made multiple visits, had extensive conversations with staff and paid a $2,000 deposit.

They even canceled a long-planned vacation, losing their nonrefundable airfare, because Friendship Village told them that they could get advantageous rates if they signed all of their paperwork quickly and moved within a short timeframe. After being actively encouraged by Friendship Village for several months to obtain housing there, Walsh and Nance were shocked to be denied housing because they are a same-sex couple.

Equality Arizona v. Hoffman On April 11, 2019, Arizona Gov. Doug Ducey signed into law an amendment that repeals the state’s anti-LGBTQ curriculum law that barred LGBTQ students from receiving medically accurate, ageappropriate information about nonheterosexual people in their health education classes. The amendment removes language that had prohib-

ited instruction in HIV/AIDS curriculum that “[p]romotes a homosexual life-style,” “[p]ortrays homosexuality as a positive alternative life-style,” or “[s]uggests that some methods of sex are safe methods of homosexual sex.”

These actions came exactly two weeks after NCLR and Lambda Legal, along with law professor Clifford Rosky and pro bono counsel Perkins Coie LLP, filed a federal lawsuit on behalf of Equality Arizona, including its members who are public school students, challenging the antiLGBTQ curriculum law.

The lawsuit, Arizona Equality v. Hoffman, was filed March 28, 2019, in the U.S. District Court for the District of Arizona. The plaintiff, Equality Arizona, is a non-profit organization that advocates for the equality of LGBTQ people. The organization includes student members, two of whom were described in the complaint. One student, referred to by the anonymous initials “A.A.,” is a gay freshman in a greater Phoenix high school. Another student, who is identified by the initials S.C. and is also named as a plaintiff, is a seventh-grade student at a middle school in Tucson. The lawsuit argued the anti-LGBTQ curriculum law violated the equal protection clause of the U.S. Constitution.

Arizona’s anti-LGBTQ curriculum law was enacted nearly thirty years ago in 1991. Kathy Hoffman— the Arizona Superintendent of Public Education and a defendant in the lawsuit—herself acknowledged that the law needed to be repealed, and she, in fact, welcomed the filing of the lawsuit. There were repeated

failed legislative efforts to repeal the law before the historic vote.

Paul E. v. Courtney F. On April 25, 2019, the Arizona Supreme Court issued a decision holding that family law judges may limit a custodial parent’s authority when necessary to protect a child from harm, including by ordering that a child receive counseling, but that such orders must be narrowly tailored to the specific circumstances in each case.

Paul E. and Courtney F. disagreed about the appropriate response to their child’s gender dysphoria. After a week-long trial, the judge issued an opinion awarding primary custody to the father, but also ordering that the child’s then-current therapist continue treating the child. The court also appointed an expert in the mental health of transgender children to advise the parties and the court about ongoing treatment. The father appealed, claiming that the trial judge did not have the authority to make those decisions. The Arizona Court of Appeals agreed and reversed the trial court, holding that family law judges cannot require that a custodial parent provide counseling for a child or appoint a specific counselor. The Arizona Supreme Court then granted the mother’s request to review the Court of Appeals’ decision.

The Arizona Supreme Court reversed, holding that Arizona law authorizes the family court to limit a custodial parent’s authority to protect a child from physical or emotional harm, including requiring a parent to provide a child with medically needed counseling or care. As the

Supreme Court explained, “refusing to retain particular therapeutic services could justify an order requiring such services if refraining from doing so would endanger the child’s physical health or significantly impair the child’s emotional development.”

In this particular case, however, the Supreme Court found that the trial court’s order did not include the specific findings to support requiring the father to send the child to a particular therapist. The Court explained: “If the evidence showed that [the child] would be placed at risk for physical danger or significantly impaired emotionally if Father chose not to maintain therapy for [the child] or consult with a gender expert, the court could compel therapy and consultation. But absent evidence demonstrating that Father would choose an unqualified or ineffective therapist or gender expert, [the statute] did not authorize the court to select a specific therapist and expert.”

The Supreme Court remanded the case to give the trial court judge an opportunity to issue a new order based on the issued opinion, stating: “The evidence supports findings implicit in the court’s orders ... that [the child] would be physically endangered or suffer significant emotional impairment if Father fails to maintain therapy for [the child] or retain a gender expert or if he declines to allow [the child] to gender explore. On remand, if the court makes any or all these findings, it may order Father to continue [the child’s] therapy, retain a gender expert, and/or permit [the child] to gender explore.”

LANDIS (continued from page 16)

YOU TOO CAN BE A WINNER!

bitters that adds just the right amount of herbaceous zing. https://www.aninasf.com/ Bar Agricole Arguably one of the city’s chic-est bars, Bar Agricole is a destination that defines artisan mixology. The bar and restaurant are named for a French Caribbean style of rum made from freshly squeezed sugar cane juice rather than molasses. Famous for their namesake Agricole Rhum drinks, Bar Agricole has a Mai Tai that is strong, refined and elegant. This spot is the perfect place to have a pre-show cocktail before venturing across the street to see a fabulous drag show at the Oasis SF. http://www.baragricole.co/ The Tonga Room and Hurricane Bar, Fairmont San Francisco One of San Francisco’s oldest and most entertaining tiki lounges, The Tonga Room belongs on everyone’s bucket list.

The site of the hotel’s former indoor swimming pool, The Tonga Room offers up bite-size pupus (as well as full dinners) to accompany its own delicious spin on Trader Vic’s original Mai Tai recipe. All this while the evening’s entertainment floats out to the middle of the pool to serenade imbibers. Coupled with periodic “tropical rainstorms,” simulated thunder and lightning, it makes for a singular evening out on the town. https://www.tongaroom.com/ Truth be told, I’m a purist when it comes to Mai Tais. Ever since the original cocktail debuted here in the Bay Area, concoctions of the drink have regrettably included adding in a multitude of fruit juices or the dreaded grenadine. Take my word for it: if the bartender mixes in a pinkish liquid— or worse yet, starts with a pre-made mix— pull out Trader Vic’s original 1944 recipe and show them the ropes.

David Landis, aka “The Gay Gourmet,” is a foodie, a freelance writer and a PR executive. Follow him: @david_landis, email him at: david@landispr.com or visit online at: www.gaygourmetsf.com

ds at Cal LaTonya Lawson and frien Alvin Ailey

Subscribe to the San Francisco Bay Times e-mail list: https://bit.ly/2XDNnh7 Subscribers enter the REPLY TO WIN! online competition for a chance to win event tickets, services and products we announce.

Performances’ Lisbet Tellef sen, Erick Cheryl Ward at Ro a Huggins and ck the CASA 201 9

y Virginia Patrik Gallineaux and Gar at Academy of Friends 2019

e Goans with Tess Hansen and Gaylynn CASA 2019.

Patti LaBelle at Rock the

Clay ton Lepak and Ted Maylath, John Chen, ch Blanket Babylon Bea at n tma Har ton Wes

Keith Freedman with his nephew and nephew ’s girlfriend at Falsettos.

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On Sunday, May 19, Harvey Milk Plaza will be the starting point for the Annual Harvey Milk Commemoration march to the site of Harvey’s Castro Camera shop, 1-2pm, followed by a briefing concerning the Plaza redesign by the Friends of Harvey Milk organization, 2-5pm. Harvey’s official birth date is observed on May 22.

CALENDAR OF UPCOMING EVENTS http://sfbaytimes.com/

16 Thursday Member Preview/Andy Warhol-From A to B and Back Again @ SF Museum of Modern Art, 151 3rd Street. Join SFMOMA and gain access to three days of exclusive previews, early weekend entry and a Summer Exhibition Party. 10am-9pm. http://www.sfmoma.org Exhibit Opening: The Mayor of Folsom Street: The Life and Legacy of Alan Selby @ GLBT History Museum, 4127 18th Street.

Curated by Jordy Jones, Jeremy Prince and Gayle Rubin, this new exhibit includes archival documents, photos, artifacts, fine art and digital displays that document the life of “Mr. S.” 7-9pm. http://www.glbthistory.org Tom Reardon @ Feinstein’s at The Nikko, 222 Mason Street.

Reardon returns to Feinstein’s to present his carefully crafted cabaret experience that sells out every time.

8pm and also on May 17. http://www.feinsteinsatthenikko.com

17 Friday Castro Comedy: Bisexualapalooza! @ Strut, 470 Castro Street. Hosted by comedian Wonder Dave, this month’s edition

in the continuing series includes an all bisexual lineup of five: Sureni Weerasekera, Arjun Banerjee, Max Eddy, Chey Bell and Jessical Sele.

8-10pm. http://www.strutsf.org

for lesbians and their friends,” this occasion includes an inspiring dinner party followed by a high-energy party. 5pm Dinner/8:30pm Party. http://www.nclrights.org

Theatre Rhino’s Sister Act @ The Gateway Theatre, 215 Jackson Street. The Rhino’s twist on this classic has a drag queen singer going into hiding as a nun, but she’s not the only nun in drag. Continues through June 1. http://www.the rhino.org

Roast of Sister Roma @ The Castro Theatre, 429 Castro Street.

Oasis at The Castro presents a one night only no-holds-barred roast of one of San Francisco’s iconic drag personalities. Featured guests include Varla Jean Merman, Bob the Drag Queen, Jackie Beat, Sherry Vine, Ross “The Intern” Matthews and formidable Heklina. 7pm. http://www.castrotheatre.com

Smuin Ballet’s Dance Series 02 @ Walnut Creek, Mountain View and Carmel locations. Smuin’s 25th Anniversary season’s finale includes dances set to timeless tunes including Gershwin and more.

Through June 1. http://www.smuinballet.org

18 Saturday Spotlight on Broadway @ Sir Francis Drake Hotel, 450 Powell Street. SF Lesbian/Gay Freedom Band’s annual benefit, includes singalongs plus a raffle, auctions and a bidding opportunity to conduct the band. http://www.sflgb.com NCLR 2019 Anniversary Celebration @ SF Marriott Marquis (Dinner) 780 Mission Street and City View at Metreon (Party), 135 4th Street. “The annual event”

19 Sunday Annual Harvey Milk Commemoration @ Harvey Milk Plaza, Castro and Market Streets. Music, comments & a march down Castro Street to 575 Castro, the former site of Harvey’s store, Castro Camera. 1-2pm.

Harvey Milk Plaza Celebration @ 541 Castro.

Friends of Harvey Milk Plaza will host a celebration of the plaza redesign project with the latest renderings shared with the public for the first time. 2-5pm. https://tinyurl.com/y59zbc8z Grease - Mountain Play 2019 @ Cushing Memorial Amphitheatre, Mt. Tamalpais State Park. The classic musical with book, music and lyrics

by Jim Jacobs and Warren Casey.

Continues through June 16. http://www.mountainplay.org Community Women’s Orchestra Spring Concert @ Lake Merritt United Methodist Church, 1330 Lakeshore Avenue, Oakland. Beethoven’s 7th Symphony, Glinka’s Ruslan & Lyudmila Overture, and Bushnaq’s “The Borrowed Dress” comprise the program. 2pm. https://tinyurl.com/y56qlcbo

20 Monday Stacey Abrams @ Luther Burbank Center for the Arts, 50 Mark West Springs Road, Santa Rosa.

The new Democratic star will be in California to discuss and sign her new book Lead from the Outside, part memoir and part leadership handbook. 6pm. http://www.lutherburbankcenter.org Queer California: Stories Reign Supreme Exhibit @ Oakland Museum of California, 1000 Oak Street. Experience social activism through contemporary artwork and historical materials, and view rarely-seen artifacts, archival documents, photographs, costumes, and 28

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Compiled by Blake Dillon ephemera. http://www.museumca.org Ambassador Dan Baer: The First Openly Gay Man in the Senate? @ Manny’s, 3092 16th Street Meet Ambassador Dan Baer who is running for Senate in Colorado and if elected, he would be the first openly gay man in the U.S. Senate. 8pm. http://www.welcometomannys.com Pubquiz at Virgil’s Sea Room @ The Big Queer Pubzquiz, 3152 Mission Street. This 90-minute quiz, based on current events and general knowledge with a special theme round, includes five rounds plus free drinks and weird prizes every Monday night. 7:30-9:30pm. nosportstrivai@gmail.com

21 Tuesday Smart Drinking Group @ Strut, 3rd Floor470 Castro Street. A weekly drop-in group with no requirements & all goals supported.

6-7:30pm. http://www.strutsf.org The Shining @ Castro Theatre, 429 Castro Street. Director Stanley Kubrick plus Jack Nicholson in his iconic performance are just two of the fabulous elements of this remastered version of the film. 5pm and 8pm. http://www.castrotheatre.com

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Harvey Milk’s Birthday Castro Cares @ CBD, 693 14th Street. Find out about the work of the Castro Cares project keeping our streets clean and safe. 11:30am. http:/wwww.castrocbd.org SFMOMA ArtBash @ San Francisco Museum of Modern Art, 151 3rd Street. This is a hot benefit with music by A-Trak and other featured artists & all you can eat, drink and dance. Warhol’s Silver Factory inspired space plus Nick Cave’s Soundsuit Invasions and more. 6pm1am. http://www.sfmoma.org/artbash Oakland Pride Queer Movie Night Series - Marsha P. Johnson @ Club 21, 2111 Franklin Street, Oakland. Benefiting the 10th Anniversary of Oakland Pride, the event is one in a series of movie nights featuring the screening of selected classic and contemporary films. 6:30-9pm. http:www.oaklndpride.org Academy of Friends Art & Wine Auction @ Clift Hotel, 495 Geary Street. Join AOF in the Clift’s Velvet Room where you can bid on local artists’ artwork from

local artists, yummy wines and experience packages. 6:30-8:30pm. http://www.academyoffirends.org Bohemian Rhapsody Sing Along @ Castro Theatre, 429 Castro Street.You can enter the costume contest and enjoy the goodie bags while you sing along.

7:30pm. http://www.castrotheatre.com

23 Thursday Fighting Back/Unions, Workers and Queers @ GLBT History Museum, 4127 18th Street.

The latest in the “Fighting Back” series, the event includes a panel discussion on the support of organized labor for the Bay Area’s LGBTQ community. 7-9pm. http://www.glbthistory.org Polk Street Pub Crawl @ Multiple Locations. The 941 Social Club returns with its Thursday night bar crawls. This month free drinks will flow with Polk Street as the destination. 6pm-2am. 941 Social Club on Facebook

24 Friday Juvenile Justice: Should We Be Locking Up Kids? @ Manny’s, 3092 16th Street. The discussion will be led by two folks with real experience and expertise on the issue: Supervisor Shamman Walton and the Executive Director of the Center on Juvenile and Criminal Justice, Daniel Macallair.

6pm. http://www.welcometomannys.com

25 Saturday SFSPCA Cuddle Me @ SFSPCA Pacific Heights, 2343 Fillmore Street.

The series of events where you can cuddle with adorable, adoptable animals and get all the kisses you want.

11am-5pm. https://tinyurl.com/yy4n2ana Live! in the Castro @ Jane Warner Plaza, 17th and Castro Streets. Alpha Rhythm Kings will perform. 1-2pm. http://www.alpharhythmkings.com

26 Sunday Sunday’s A Drag @ The Starlight Room, Powell Street.

Hosted by Donna Sachet, the event features a brunch and a troupe of entertainers. Described as “The Greatest Drag Show in San Francisco,” we agree that it is great!

Every Sunday at 11am. http://www.startlightroomsf.com

Dee’s Keys Piano Bar/ Open Mic Singer Showcase @ Hamburger Mary’s SF, 531 Castro Street. Dr. Dee Spencer is a community treasure and great fun for all in any piano bar setting.

4-8pm on Sundays. http://www.deespencer.com

27 Monday Monday Morning Workout: Cardio & Strength @ Dolores Park, 19th & Dolores Streets. Free workout for all abilities; led by the November Project. 6:30am. https://tinyurl.com/yae64g3c Shut Up and Draw @ Strut, 470 Castro Street. This free event provides a quiet place to draw, be creative, doodle, sketch and be with fellow queers. 7-9:30pm. http://www.strutsf.org “Musical Mondays” SingAlong @ Th Edge, 4149 18th Street. Sing and drink along every Monday and Wednesday at this landmark LGBT bar to favorite songs from musicals. 7pm-2am. http://www.theedgesf.com

28 Tuesday Stonewall Reading & Discussion Group @ Strut, 470 Castro Street. This drop-in group uses books and other written materials to explore substance abuse.

4-5:30pm. http://www.strutsf.org Harvey Milk Democratic Club General Membership Meeting @ The Women’s Building, 3543 18th Street. District 5 candidates for Supervisor will speak and the Club will address a variety of timely issues. 7-9pm. http://www.milkclub.org

29 Wednesday Castro Farmers Market @ Noe Street, 16th and Market. Every Wednesday from March through November, the street next to Flore and Lookout is abloom with fresh fruits and vegetables, rain or shine.

5-8pm. http://www.pcfma.org Frameline43 Volunteer Orientation - Session #1 @ SF LGBT Center, 1800 Market Street.

You are invited to join the Frameline Volunteer Team with various positions available. 7-10pm. http://www.shiftboard.com/frameline

30 Thursday Gay in the Great War @ GLBT History Museum, 4127 18th Street.

Author Lance Ringel will present a dramatized reading with music from his novel Flower of Iowa, a carefully researched work about two soldiers who fall in love in 1918 France.

7-9pm. http://www.glbthistory.org Meet the 2020 Candidate: Senator Amy Klobuchar @ Manny’s, 3092 16th Street. Senator Klobuchar (D-Minnesota) is running for President. 8pm. http://www.welcometomannys.com

31 Friday Eifan Ballet - The Pygmalion Effect @ Cal Performances, Zellerbach Hall, Berkeley. The U.S. premiere of controversial choreographer Boris Eifman’s new ballet set to a score by Johann Strauss Jr. Continues through June 2. https://tinyurl.com/y4x3rze7

More listings at http://sfbaytimes.com

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019 marks the 40th anniversary of The White Night Riots, when on May 21, 1979, protestors erupted in disbelief and rage after the eleven-day trial of Dan White, who killed Supervisor Harvey Milk and San Francisco Mayor George Moscone the year prior.

White was convicted of two counts of voluntary manslaughter, a verdict holding that the offender acted during a heat of passion, under circumstances that would cause a reasonable person to become emotionally or mentally disturbed to the point that they could not control their actions. It is a form of homicide said to occur without premeditation, deliberation or malice aforethought.

Vanessa Lovato and Freddy Lavadores displayed Mother’s Day bouquets at their shop Polk Street Flowers.

Juan Flores and Cecilia Villegas assisted customers at the Cliff’s Variety display of bargains duirng the Castro Street Sidewalk Sale on May 11.

Workers spray painted a new day glo green bike lane on Polk Street on May 8.

White’s attorney Doug Schmidt argued, in part, that his client was depressed and had binged on junk food. The media called the latter the infamous “Twinkie Defense.”

Still in mourning for Milk and Moscone, the mood of members of the LGBTQ community and other locals shifted to anger. They took to the streets that May night. San Francisco Bay Times former Publisher Kim Corsaro was there and reported the following: “The crowd from the Castro was met with a large crowd from the Polk, which in the late 1970s was a thriving gay neighborhood and still the central location for a lot of gay celebrations, like Halloween. The mood quickly turned ugly as the crowds merged, and a pitched battle between the cops and the crowd began. The battle would last for the next several hours. Gay rioters started several small fires inside City Hall, smashed the windows, and torched dozens of police cars.”

San Francisco Bay Times photographer Rink was at The White Night Riots, too. He captured several images that night, including photos showing the burning cars. Video footage of the riots also exists: https://bit.ly/2JkPse4 Corsaro wrote: “The day after the riots, May 22, happened to be Milk’s birthday. That night in 1979, Castro Street filled again, this time to celebrate the first birthday date since his assassination. I was one of the unlucky riot-goers who had been brutally beaten by a handful of cops in Civic Center the night before, so I recovered at home. The screams I had heard coming from the Castro the night before when the cops raided the Elephant Walk were replaced by the sounds of ‘Happy Birthday, Harvey.’”

PO Plus customer service team members Shawn Freeman and David Bontempo were at the Castro Sidewalk Street Sale on May 11, with a unicorn prancing on a rainbow flag as their colorful backdrop.

The Castro Theatre marquee on May 9 announced Opening Night of the CAAMFEST Film Festival celebrating Asian Pacific Islander films, music and food.

CAAMFEST board co-chair Dipti Ghosh and her wife Meggy Gotuaco, with friend Calvin Horn between them, at the CAAMFEST Film Festival Gala.

Chinatown Rising directors Josh and Harry Chuck and their crew were on stage at the Castro Theatre for CAAMFEST’s Opening Night screening of their film.

Publicist Sarah Flores, Frameline’s Frances Wallace, Jewish Film Festival’s Lexi Leban, Frameline’s Paul Struthers and Mariana Lopez at the CAAMFEST Film Festival Opening Night on May 9.

Guests at the CAAMFEST Film Festival opening night gala at the Asian Art Museum on May 9.

Corsaro was one of an estimated 100 among the public who had been injured during the riots, while 61 police officers also sustained injuries. Over a million dollars of damage was done to City Hall, police cruisers and to the Elephant Walk Bar (now the restaurant and bar Harvey’s in the Castro).

As for White, he served five years of his seven-year sentence and was paroled on January 7, 1984. On October 21, 1985, he committed suicide by carbon monoxide poisoning in his garage. His remains were buried at Golden Gate National Cemetery in San Bruno.

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SA N FRANCISCO BAY T I ME S

MAY 1 6 , 2 0 1 9

Fitness SF representatives at the CAAMFEST Film Festival Gala at the Asian Art Museum on May 9

Frameline’s Brian Ray and Doc Pruess at the CAAMFEST Film Festival Gala on May 9

Devesh Khatu and Ignatius Bau at the CAAMFEST Film Festival Opening Night Gala at the Asian Art Museum on May 9

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LGBTQ News & Calendar for the Bay Area

CELEBRATING FOUR DECADES (1978–2019)

Former mayor Willie Brown was surrounded by members of a public service sorority on May 6 at City Hall.

Eva Hartman, Jody Cole and Laurie Baker shared the excitement of the swearing in ceremony held at San Francisco City Hall on May 6 for Fire Chief Jeanine Nicholson.

Resource Guide to over 300 SF LGBTQ Nonprofit Service Agencies, Arts & Athletic Groups Includes: category search, calendar of events & 1000's of photos

Connect - Volunteer - Donate Keep the Good Work Going !

EQCA’s Rick Zbur with guests at the 20th EQCA Awards on May 11 at the Fairmont Hotel

Democratic Party Chair Adam Mehis and Leslie Katz, former SF Supervisor, at City Hall on May 6 for the Swearing in Ceremony for SFFD Chief Jeanine Nicolson.

items of the week Color Atelier Lime Paint Go all natural! Color Atelier Lime Paint is organic, durable, naturally mildew resistant and made here in the Bay Area!

Choose from a curated palette of 30 pre-mixed colors and create a luxe, velvety finish on any wall.

Mayor London Breed spoke at the 20th Annual EQCA Equality Awards at the Fairmont Hotel on May 11.

Artist Natalia Lvova with friends at Art Attack SF Gallery where her work was displayed on May 2 during the Castro Art Walk.

DJ Will Morgan and gallery owner Aviva Kanoff at Spark Arts Gallery on May 2 during the Castro Art Walk

Sunnylife Inflatables Inflate your summer with Sunnylife inflatables. Great for the pool, beach, river or park!

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s the sun starts to shine, let the outdoor fun begin.

Watercolorist Yi Lin Pei demonstrated her technique at Local Take gift shop during the Castro Art Walk on May 2.

Photographer Heather Jacks with her book, Sister Stories, and selected images at Spark Arts Gallery during the Castro Art Walk on May 2

Featured performer Emily Zisman serenaded Castro Art Walk participants and passersby at Jane Warner Plaza on May 2.

As Heard on the Street . . . A Lesbian you admire?

compiled by Rink

Veronika Fimbres

Janice Li

Toni Newman

Suzan Revah

Minna Tao

“There are two for me! Akilah Monifa and Rachel Maddow!

They are both awesome women and their media savvy to me is unparalleled! I love them both!”

“Audre Lorde”

“Kate Kendell”

“Lena D. Waithe”

“Our new Fire Chief Jeanine Nicholson”

S AN F R ANC IS C O BAY T IM ES

M AY 16, 2019

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