San Francisco Bay Times - April 4, 2019 soiree

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LGBTQ News & Calendar for the Bay Area

CELEBRATING FOUR DECADES (1978–2019) April 4–17, 2019 | http://sfbaytimes.com

SAN FRANCISCO LGBT COMMUNITY CENTER’S SOIRÉE 2019 SATURDAY, APRIL 13

SAN FRANCISCO LGBT COMMUNITY CENTER’S SOIRÉE 2019 SATURDAY, APRIL 13

Photos by Trish Tunney for The Center

Welcome to Soirée 2019!

On behalf of the board, I’m delighted to welcome you to our 17th (!) Soirée!

This event is near and dear to my heart because I started volunteering with the Center as part of the 2016 Soirée planning committee. At the time, I wondered why we have a “soirée” instead of a “gala.” After all, not as many people know what a soirée is ... or how to spell it.

Sally Jesmonth

So, I looked it up. While a gala is “a social occasion with special entertainments or performances,” a soirée is “an evening party or gathering, typically in a private house, for conversation or music.” When we’re here together at this Soirée, we’re not just having a big party; we’re at home together in our community.

Please use this time together to reconnect with each other and to have fun, but also to build a connection to a new person or even a board member—we’re wearing name tags and would love to share our personal connection to the Center and learn about what brought you here. See you on the dance floor!

Sally Jesmonth Board Chair, SF LGBT Center

The San Francisco LGBT Center’s lively contingent in the 2018 SF Pride Parade

Soirée 2019 Entertainment Soirée 2019 Entertainment Director Juanita MORE! has put together a stellar program for this year’s SF LGBT Center night in celebration of community.

Chris Paul, Roberto Ordeñana (Deputy Executive Director), Jonathan Millard, Jeff Sun, Jane Natale, Jim Brown, Tom Temprano, Mika Albright, Robert De La O. Bottom row: Rebecca Rolfe (Executive Director), Michelle King, Nicholas Gonzales, Sally Jesmonth, Pamela Rice

Juanita MORE! is a denizen of the limelight. For almost three decades, the tireless hostess has blitzed San Francisco with high glamour, drag irreverence, danceable beats, culinary delectables, political activism and a philanthropic heart that has illuminated the entire city. Juanita remains a creation of fashion and glamour, generosity and nerve, inspiring those around her to make a positive difference in their lives and in their communities, doing it all with a timeless elegance and an innovative spirit. https://juanitamore.com/ The Countess Katya Smirnoff-Skyy has enthralled Bay Area audiences for years with her unique blend of opera pop and booze. With a career spanning ... a very, very long time ... Katya claims to have invented Popera, romanced William Shatner and lived next to John Lennon at the Dakota during her stint in New York City during the 1970s. Once Eastern Europe’s greatest Mezzo-Soprano (understudy), the Countess now spends her days beautifying the masses at Macy’s Department store as everyone’s favorite Chanel counter lady. She spends her evenings crooning and drinking her away through the finer theaters, bars and bathhouses of America. https://www.russianoperadiva.com/ LadyRyan, a Bay Area favorite, has been rocking crowds coast to coast for close to a decade. Her music and voice have been riding the wave of partygoers in major cities such as New York City, San Francisco, Oakland, Los Angeles, Seattle and the nation’s capital, Washington, D.C. LadyRyan’s passion for music started at an early age singing in her Church choir at 6, sampling and making beats at 20, and ultimately tapping into her true passion: buying her first set of turntables at 23. This diverse DJ is known for the energy exchange she shares with her crowds in every song selection and tune she sings. https://www.ladyryan.com/

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LGBTQ News & Calendar for the Bay Area CELEBRATING FOUR DECADES (1978–2019)

SF LGBT Center Expands Programs to Meet Growing Needs

By Rebecca Rolfe

This is one of my favorThis administrat ion and the people who ite times of the year at support it have made the SF LGBT Center— it clear that LGBTQ when we mark the annipeople are not safe, reversary of opening our spected or valued. In doors to the community San Francisco, the most with our annual Soirée. vulnerable among us Together, we will celeare deeply impacted by brate our 17th anniver- Rebecca Rolfe these threats and by the sary on Saturday, April affordability crisis facing the Bay 13, at Terra Gallery. I hope you will Area. join us to celebrate our amazingly diverse and vibrant LGBTQ com- The statistics are staggering. In munity with a fabulous celebra- our city alone, approximately 30% tion including food, entertainment, of all homeless people and close open bar and dancing! to 50% of all homeless youth are Soirée raises funds to expand our members of our LGBTQ community. 70% of transgender people in programs and services, and fuels San Francisco are unemployed and our community’s resilience in the 90% of transgender people have face of adversity. experienced workplace discriminaLGBTQ rights—along with the tion. At the Center, we find these rights of immigrants, women and statistics unacceptable. Our call is people of color—have been under to continue to innovative programs constant attack from the Trump to address many emerging issues administration. Most recently, this such as these. administration has nominated and promoted an anti-LGBTQ Supreme Court justice, banned transgender people from serving in the military, and tried to write transgender people out of existence.

I am proud to share that this year the Center will be expanding a number of programs, including our Transgender Employment Services in the SOMA and Tenderloin neighborhoods, helping to reduce

the barriers that many face in finding work. We are expanding our youth services to provide on-site mental health services for LGBTQ youth, many of whom are homeless or are in unstable housing. We will also be launching the city’s first youth Host Home program, which will match homeless youth with individuals and families who will donate a room in their home. This is all in addition to our current work.

Each year, we assist close to 3,000 LGBTQ people through our firstin-the-nation Economic Development program, helping community members to find employment, build their financial assets and link to affordable housing options. The program also helps to build and sustain small businesses in the community.

The Center’s Information and Referral program fulfills over 2,400 requests for linkages to trusted programs addressing a breadth of issues from emergency housing and food assistance to medical care and legal services. Our Youth Services provide 300 youth with a safe dropin space to get off the streets, obtain warm nourishing meals, and receive crisis support.

Our Arts and Culture programs help our community to find and lift our voices. They provide artists with free space to show their works, which pose cr itical questions about communit y and movement towards justice.

Demand for our services is growing. Building a sense of greater connection among community members has never been more important.

I am inspired to work with such a phenomenal group of volunteers, staff, and partners to expand our efforts. Their creativity and dedication give me hope that things can—and will—get better. I hope that you will join us for Soirée on April 13 to celebrate our incredible work and the path ahead.

Rebecca Rolfe is the Executive Director of the SF LGBT Center.

To participate in programs, volunteer, donate, or to purchase

The SF LGBT Center Saved My Life

At 16, I was kicked out of my house and started living on the streets.

When I was 21, I left for San Francisco so that I could live my life as a woman. One day, while wandering in the city, I looked up and saw the SF LGBT Center sign. I walked in that day and kept walking in every day—for the next few years.

The Center was the lifeline I needed.

Jamie WIles

PHOTO COURTESY OF JAMIE WILES

Growing up in Michigan, I knew I was different, but nowhere around me did I see choices for someone like me to live an authentic life. Being transgender—in my town, in my family and within my circle of friends—was not an option. I was very unhappy, and soon found myself in a cycle of drug addiction and crime.

I began attending the Center’s youth drop-in space where I relaxed, regrouped and took a break from the stress of being homeless. I ate hot meals at Tuesday night meal

By Jamie Wiles

nights and used the computers in the Cyber Center to look for work.

The Center’s Youth Services staff connected me to healthcare resources that helped me to get sober.

They pointed me towards housing resources that got me off the street.

They hosted a job fair that I attended where I met my current employer.

Youth that participate in the Center’s Youth Services can access mental health services and trauma resources, as well as much-needed hot meals. 1,500 youth in San Francisco are homeless, and 49% of them identify as LGBTQ. The Center currently works with 300 youth, providing them with services and support.

Transgender people for years have been facing discrimination and injustice, which is why the SF LGBT Center, with its programs and services supporting trans youth and trans adults, is so important. The Center was there for me through my time of need.

Today, I really like the person I’ve grown into. I never thought this would be possible. I live in sober housing, attend addiction counseling and am a manager at my job.

As a manager, I am a role model for the young people I work with.

When I tell them my story, they can look at me and see someone who has overcome obstacles and followed their dreams. In the next few years, I have many things to look forward to, including moving to my

own apartment and having gender confirmation surgery. My journey to myself was not an easy one, but I am here, I am happy and I am a productive member of the community.

With the incredible support of hundreds of community members, the Center is building a more equitable world for all LGBTQ people and our allies.

With the support of our community, the Center can continue to transform future generations. Opportunities to get involved with the Center include volunteering and donating to meet a growing demand for services that are vital to our community. Now, more than ever, it is imperative that we take care of each other.

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April Is the Cruelest Month

Well-Behaved Women Seldom Make History Louise “Lou” Fischer With apologies to T.S. Eliot for appropriating a famous line from his poetic masterpiece The Waste Land, April is shaping up to be a continuation of the “Trump Crazytown” show that has been “on the air” since January 2017. The Waste Land is a long, complex poem about the psychological crisis and collapse of Western culture that accompanied the loss of moral and cultural identity after World War I. Its themes delve into war, death, trauma, disillusionment and the devastation of being educated and moral in a world that has forgotten its roots. At the halfway point of his first (and hopefully only!) term, President Trump is a moral blight on our country, dragging down values and destroying the very conventions this country was built upon (its “roots” if you are having trouble following the poetic metaphor).

proven racist and misogynist, and runs his administration with rampant corruption, cronyism, nepotism and contempt for our justice system would command the biggest headlines in every newspaper since Johannes Gutenberg invented the printing press in 1439 (337 years before the United States even existed). But in Trumpville, every scandal and pathological lie is superseded by bigger and more explosive carnage that results in the antithesis of “making America great” and just makes America humiliated in the eyes of the world.

The short list of destructive policies that we have to look forward to includes renewed attack on affordable healthcare, more crazy financial shenanigans to fund a useless wall that nobody wants or needs, increased restrictions on immigration and enforcement of deportations, and a shill of an Attorney General who was the only lawyer out of 1.34 million licensed attorneys in the U.S. to openly woo Trump: “Pick me. I believe in an expansive view of executive power and I promise to continue former AG Jeff Sessions’ legacy of hostility for civil rights and civil liberties!” I fully expect more defamation of the late Senator John McCain because Trump is a bully and enjoys picking on people who can’t hit back.

In any other time in history, a president who brazenly appeases our foreign enemies, assaults the press, is a

70,000 mental health professionals and anyone in the world who has ever picked up a copy of the Diagnostic Statistical Manual (DSM) believe that Trump suffers from a severe case of malignant narcissistic personality disorder. The hallmarks of NPD are grandiosity, lack of empathy for others, arrogance, manipulation and a constant need for admiration. It is

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also known as a marker for self-loathing. With this window into his psyche, there must be something to the selfloathing aspect—maybe a compendium of all of his dislikes, a “Trump hates this” list, would explain some of his most contemptible behavior. So, in no particular order, here is my version of the “Greatest Hits of Trump’s Hatred List.”

‘Former Presidents’ Category Trump hates Obama; he spread lies about his country of birth, accused him of wiretapping Trump Tower and continuously insults his academic excellence. The fact that everyone else flat out loves Obama must drive Trump crazy. Trump has attacked Bill Clinton multiple times on Twitter, so it’s no secret that his antipathy toward Bill is equal to his negative feelings about Hillary. In a surprising twist, he has no love for George W. Bush, as evidenced by some notso-nice tweets directed toward “Bumbler in Chief 1.0.” (Sorry, George. I know you’re a nice guy now, but you made a mess of Katrina, Iraq and the economy; your presidency was 8 years of hell.) The only president he actually likes is Andrew Jackson, whom history reviles as a slave-trading (not just owning, but trading), ethnic cleansing (“Indian Removal Act”) odious human being.

‘Animals’ Category Trump hates pets. He is breaking a long and storied tradition of presidential pet ownership that has included not only dogs, cats, birds and other small pets, but also horses, cows, goats, chickens, raccoons, sheep, a macaw, guinea pigs, kangaroo rats, a snake, a black bear and a one-

legged rooster. His claims of “not having time” to care for a pet ring hollow. L a st I checked , there are 96 full-time and 250 part-time members of the White House service staff, so I’m sure that someone could take Fido for a walk along the South Lawn or tend to the k itt ycat’s litter box. Other evidence includes documented contempt for the poodle belonging to his former wife, Ivana. Come on, who doesn’t love a toy poodle? And finally, Trump uses the word “dog” as an insult, such as “choked like a dog,” “sweated like a dog,” “dumped like a dog” and “fired like a dog.” It’s just as well he doesn’t get a dog, since he clearly doesn’t understand pet ownership and would probably try to fire it anyhow.

Christmas Parties While he enjoys campaign rallies and prefers them to actually governing the country, Trump is known for loathing Christmas parties and escaping early.

Even Jews love Christmas, although mostly for the Chinese food and movie theatre traditions. It makes sense for Trump to hate Christmas, because it’s not about him. The TV show Seinfeld introduced us to “Festivus,” there are already “Merry Trumpmas” Tshirts, mugs and even a #trumpmas hashtag, so what’s stopping Trump from just taking over the whole holiday and making it officially Trumpmas? A president can declare a onetime holiday by issuing an executive order, and even though congressional approval is required to add a holiday to the yearly federal calendar, it’s not

like Trump sees Congress as an impediment to do, well, anything he wants.

Random Acts of Hatred Trump hates poor people but loves rich people (tax cuts for the wealthy!), hates old people and anyone who gets sick (healthcare is a privilege not a right). He hates immigrants (family separation, “s-hole” countries) and minorities (“Mexican rapists,” documented housing discrimination against African Americans going back decades) but he loves white supremacists (“good people on both sides”). He hates transgender people (military ban) because it plays to his evangelical base.

Trump promised to “make America great again,” but so far, he has only succeeded in making America “hate” again. Since resignation is unlikely and impeachment is a political minefield, we will have to wait until November 3, 2020, for this 4-year-long “cruelest month” to end.

Louise (Lou) Fischer is a Former Co-Chair of the Board of Directors for the Alice B. Toklas LGBT Democratic Club and has served as an appointed and elected Delegate for the State Democratic Party. She is a proud graduate of the Emerge California Women’s Democratic Leadership program, was a San Francisco Commissioner and has served in leadership positions in multiple nonprofit and community-based organizations.

Biden for Time

Cross Currents Andrea Shorter Alright, Joe: time to pony up. The utter lack of suspense leading up to the eventual entry of former Vice President Joe Biden into the Democratic field of presidential hopefuls is becoming much less an anticipatory event than it is just plain, well, annoying.

Although he has been scrambling to stem the crisis after accusations of improper conduct with certain women, poll after poll still shows Biden at the top of the list of most favorable and best bet to run Trump out of the White House and packing back to Trump Tower in Manhattan.

With various poll results released seemingly every other day for the past several months, on average, Biden steadily tops off at around 30% of the favored Democrats to win, at least 10 points ahead of second place runner up Senator Bernie Sanders at 20%.

With Texas’ Beto O’Rourke having wandered into the field, the Quinnip-

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I know, timing is everything in politics. There’s much to be done to build a winning strategy, a top-notch campaign team and lining up buckets of dough to make it to the nomination in one piece before calibrating for the general election showdown. After all, this will not be a rinse and repeat strategy as it might’ve been for twice wins on the Obama-Biden tickets of old. As the top of the ticket contender in this particular fight, he would need a retool, if not overhaul, of that oldtime coalition-driven machinery.

In Biden’s very particular case, we certainly respect that he has needed time to sort out the presidential race’s impact on his family and, more recently, the improper conduct allegations. In terms of the former, the Biden family suffered the tragic loss of son Beau to brain cancer in 2015, and for the last year, tabloid headline grabbers involving son Hunter’s exploits, which of late seem to be quieting down.

The Biden personal story is one of devastating family loss, beginning with the loss of his wife and infant daughter in a car accident in 1972 during his nascent political career. Even under much less taxing circumstances, it’s hard to imagine the considerations it must take before running for president again. Before climbing into the ring with no-holds bar serial insulter Trump, Biden’s brace for perhaps

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the toughest political fight of his life is crucial.

Trump’s lack of decency prevents him from delivering below the belt sucker punches to even these most vulnerable, personal pressure points of another’s familial troubles. Against a less than honorable Trump, protecting these familial concerns is understandably very real.

Of course, after 50 decades in political office, there are plenty of real political foibles and folly in the book of Biden to pick at from the left and the right. For many, at the top would be his terrible handling as chair of the Senate Judiciary committee during Anita Hill’s testimony of sexual harassment against then nominee Clarence Thomas’ hearing for Supreme Court. Biden handled it poorly.

While he somewhat redeemed himself by introducing the Violence Against Women Act, few women of a certain age have forgotten the disrespectful, dismissive and suspect treatment Professor Hill received before an all-male panel of hostile Senators. Biden obviously was forgiven just enough to eventually succeed as Vice President to Obama’s historic election as president, but it’s not forgotten. He still owes Ms. Hill an apology.

Even more recent gaffes—such as publicly palling around with the idea that his ultra-conservative, homophobic veep replacement Mike Pence is a “a decent guy” to the righteous ire of the LGBT community, and his weird alleged courting of rising star Stacey Abrams of Alabama to be his running mate before the primaries—are

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iac University poll lands him at 12%, and California’s own Senator Kamala Harris is holding steady in the top four at 8%.

Former Vice President Joe Biden spoke at the 22nd Annual HRC Dinner in Washington, D.C., on September 25, 2018.

reminders of some of either the off the cuff or hit and missed deeds to which Mr. Biden is prone.

Biden’s prevalence is no forgone conclusion. There’s plenty of time for more gaffes and missteps along the road to victory that could prove dismal. Still, he remains the top choice.

With the most racially, gender, and sexual orientation diverse democratic field ever, it’s still sad that it might take an old white guy from Scranton, Pennsylvania, to take down an old white guy from Queens, New York.

If only two women could run together on the general ticket, or a Latino and a gay mayor from Indiana, or any other combination of not ever represented Americans in the White House, and win.

Are such alternatives possible to win back the White House? Too much, too soon? While the single digit polling numbers of candidates don’t bear

out now for such a winning combo, within time, we might be as ready for another historic election as Obama proved. One can only hope.

We need to win. A big win. Biden might be polled as the best bet for that triumph over Trump now, but as candidates take to the stage for the first series of debates in June, perhaps next generation rising stars will begin to shine more brightly than the promise of a Biden plus one ticket. Meantime, Biden: come on, man, get in there already.

Andrea Shorter is a Commissioner and the former President of the historic San Francisco Commission on the Status of Women. She is a longtime advocate for criminal and juvenile justice reform, voter rights and marriage equality. A Co-founder of the Bayard Rustin LGBT Coalition, she was a 2009 David Bohnett LGBT Leadership Fellow at the Harvard Kennedy School of Government.

Political Roundup: The First LGBT President, Bernie in SF and Endorsements for Prez languages, served in the military, is a concert pianist, and was first elected to public office at the age of 29.

Impressed yet? In a 2016 interview, Barack Obama name dropped Buttigieg as one of the “future leaders of the Democratic Party.”

To the Left, To the Left Peter Gallotta It was Heidi Klum on Project Runway who liked to say, “One day you’re in, the next day you’re out.” It’s an adage applicable not only in fashion but is also well suited for political candidates. Right now, Mayor Pete Buttigieg is very “in.”

The small town, openly gay, millennial mayor of South Bend, Indiana, is running for president and having a political moment. In fact, he’s having such a moment that he’s now polling at 11% in Iowa, putting him squarely in third place after fellow Democratic presidential hopefuls Joe Biden and Bernie Sanders. Just two months ago in the same Iowa poll, Mayor Pete didn’t even make the scoreboard. So, what happened?

Pete Buttigieg, some might say, is the antithesis of Trump. A Harvard grad and Rhodes Scholar, he speaks seven

While most voters still don’t know how to say his last name (it’s pronounced boot-uh-judge), Buttigieg is starting to gain steam—and name ID—after home run performances at a recent CNN town hall and guest spots on The View and The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.

Although it’s hard to pinpoint exactly where Buttigieg falls ideologically, he has pushed to raise the minimum wage in South Bend and supports single payer healthcare and abolishing the electoral college. While some argue that he could be the millennial choice for president (millennials are expected to make up one third of the electorate in the 2020 primary), it’s unclear how he’ll fair with women voters, people of color and coastal and progressive Democrats.

Is it then just a honeymoon phase before the media frenzy turns elsewhere? Maybe. But even if it is short lived, Mayor Pete—who could be the first openly gay president—is gaining a foothold within a crowded field.

Voters are taking seriously a young gay man with progressive ideas from Indiana. How do you like them apples, Trump?

On March 24, thanks to the invitation of my friend and California Democratic Party delegate Gloria Berry, I found myself standing in a crowd of 13,000 in the Great Meadow at Fort Mason. Looking around I saw what Harvey Milk would call, “the us’s”: queer people, young people, people of color, Muslims, seniors, people with disabilities, immigrants and workingclass folks.

As we waited for Bernie Sanders to come out on stage, John Lennon’s “Power to the People” blasted over the sound system and a thunderous roar swept over the crowd. Sure, Bernie is an older, white, straight man, but standing there I saw firsthand, and for the first time, that the peoplepowered grassroots movement growing behind him is a tapestry of the communities directly under attack by the Trump administration. Standing there it felt for the first time in some time that we were not alone. That we were—that we are—in this political fight, hell, this political revolution, together.

People are quick to judgment when it comes to Bernie’s political views and his role in pushing Democratic politics to the left at the discomfort of the political establishment and elites.

During his hour-long speech, Bernie remarked at the irony of those that call him “radical.” As he said, is it so radical to want a living wage? To want affordable and accessible healthcare just like every other industrialized na-

tion? To work 40 hours a week and not live in poverty? To want clean air, clean water and a healthy environment?

He has a good point.

W hat is so “rad ical” about asking our government to ameliorate suffering, to remedy injustice, to eradicate poverty? Is that not what our government has done throughout history? From the New Deal to Social Security to the G.I. Bill to the Voting Rights Act, this country, and its leaders, have delivered bold, just, “radical” policies. What Bernie speaks of today, when he talks about Medicare for All, a Green New Deal and raising the federal minimum wage, is no different.

Standing there listening, I felt like I was witnessing the beginning of a new Progressive era in America—an era in which we might finally dismantle America’s love affair with neoliberalism and our corporatocracy. While I would love to see the first LGBT president, or the first black woman president elected in my lifetime, I would also like to see the first corporate-free president elected—a president who is beholden to working families and who recognizes that income inequality is pervasive in cities like San Francisco and throughout the heartland of this country.

Say what you will about Bernie, but I think it’s time for Democrats to

give him a more serious look. I was proud to endorse and support him in the Democratic Primary in 2016, and after last week, I’m feeling the Bern once again. Two other San Francisco queer progressives have thrown their support behind Bernie—former Assemblymember Tom Ammiano and former Supervisor and current Chair of the San Francisco Democratic Party Chair David Campos.

Maybe it’s just us—or maybe it’s just me—but what is truly, unbelievably “radical” for America is not Bernie Sanders. It’s letting Trump serve another 4 years.

Peter Gallotta is a 30-something LGBT political activist holding on to the city that he loves thanks to rent control and two-for-one happy hour specials. He is a former President of the Harvey Milk LGBTQ Democratic Club and currently serves as an appointed member of the San Francisco Democratic County Central Committee and an elected delegate to the California Democratic Party.

Read San Francisco Bay Times online at www.sfbaytimes.com and www.issuu.com/sfbt

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Spring Clean Your Portfolio

Money Matters Brandon Miller Spring cleaning isn’t just for closets and cobwebs. Your investment portfolio could probably use a little refreshing as well, especially if you haven’t aired it out in some time.

Yeah right, you may be thinking. I’ll fit that in after I schedule a root canal, clean the gutters and give the cat a bath.

May I suggest that you turn that thinking around a bit? You’ve likely worked hard for the money you save and invest, and want to use it to finance your dreams. But investments that don’t align with your goals may not move you closer to them, or may slow your progress versus what you could achieve with the right mix. Isn’t getting what you really want in life worth an hour or so of your time to do a little portfolio tidying up?

If yes, then ask yourself these questions: Am I on track?

Have your goals changed from the last time you reviewed your portfolio? Marriage, divorce, birth and death—not to mention changing careers, moving, health issues or any number of other factors—can have a

profound impact on what you want or need your money to do.

seen circumstances don’t ruin everything you’ve been working for.

Determine the purpose of each investment: retirement, vacations, household expenses, a condo in the desert.

Is what you own still relevant and still moving you toward your goals? Are you putting the right amounts into the right accounts? Remember also to bear in mind your timeframe for achieving each dream.

If you still have many years left to work and couldn’t get by without your salary, disability insurance might be very important. Or maybe you’re financially independent and don’t need this coverage any more.

Also, look to see if your mix of assets is right for you today. Do you have a diverse choice of investment vehicles, such as bonds that perform well in bear markets and stocks that soar when things turn bullish? You want to be prepared for whatever the market sends your way.

Is my investment strategy tax efficient?

Being tax smart can keep Uncle Sam from dipping deeper into your pocket.

A combination of tax-advantaged investments (e.g., Roth and Traditional 401(k)s and IRAs), tax-efficient investments (e.g., index mutual funds and ETFs), tax-exempt bonds (e.g., municipal and U.S. Savings bonds) and taxable accounts give you great flexibility in when you pay taxes and how much you pay.

There are also strategies—such as tax-loss harvesting, which uses gains to offset losses—that can reduce your tax burden. (See next month’s Money Matters for some tax-smart tips.)

If you’re at that stage of life where you’re drawing down on your savings, set up a tax-savvy withdrawal strategy. This could mean depleting taxable accounts first, then tax-deferred accounts and finally tax-free investments, such as Roth IRAs. Do I have adequate protection?

No, this is not about condoms or PrEP. It’s about making sure unfore-

Has your family grown? You might need more (or some) life insurance.

Or if you’re older, you may not need any or as much coverage. That money may be better spent on a health or long-term care policy.

Here again, it’s critical to consider your current goals and timeframes when reviewing your safeguards.

Is my estate in order?

Tax and estate laws are always changing, as are your assets and the people you want to protect. Make sure your will, healthcare proxy, power of attorney, living trust and other documents still reflect your wishes.

And by all means, update your beneficiaries for all official documents and investment accounts. I can’t tell you how many clients I’ve saved from leaving their retirement accounts, homes and more to an ex they haven’t spoken to in years.

This Spring, make a date with yourself to clean up your portfolio. Toss any investments that no longer suit your goals and find new ones that are a better fit for who you are today and where you want to go tomorrow.

Or just hire a financial professional to do it all for you. Maybe I should have started with that point.

The opinions expressed in this article are for general informational purposes only and are not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual or (continued on page 26)

Nice Experiences in Small Crossovers Name and market seg ment aside, the Eclipse Cross is big for Mitsubishi because it’s an offering from this brand that evinces a commitment to consistent quality—not just in the materials, but also in the way this CUV behaves.

Auto Philip Ruth Pleasant and functional: for many car buyers, those two adjectives are enough to close the sale on their new steeds.

It sounds mundane, but that combo can be f leeting among smaller vehicles in which niggles like a raucous engine or a cheaply-finished interior can prompt prospects to keep on walking.

The two budget-friendly rides examined here—Kia Soul and Mitsubishi Eclipse Cross—are both free enough of brambles to recommend to those needing space while wanting an amenable overall experience. Neither has glaring flaws, and they both generally seem content in their work.

That’s especially notable with the Eclipse Cross. Some quibble with the Eclipse name being pried off a legendary sporty coupe from the 1990s and placed on a mild compact crossover.

But the fact that this storied name ended up here points to the popularity of these mini-SUVs, along with the evaporation of the coupe market.

Previous generations of Mitsubishis typically have had at least one disqualifier. Whether it’s the Outlander Sport’s gravelly powertrain resonances, the Lancer’s dark and depressing interior or Mirage’s inescapable crudity, these errant elements negate their host’s comparatively lower prices. (That inconsistency appears to extend to the brand’s website—as I write this, the blurbs on the Eclipse Cross pages describe the Mirage.)

But the Eclipse Cross is well-rounded, and that’s real progress. I ran it down the highway and all over the city and came away thinking, “Nice car.”

Mine was the fourth-highest of five trim levels, the SE 1.5T S-AWC, and its $28,015 asking price included allwheel drive, snazzy 18-inch wheels, a seven-inch center screen and Apple CarPlay/Android Auto. No sunroof, though—the $2,500 Touring Package includes that, along with Forward Collision Mitigation, which really should be standard across the Eclipse Cross line.

The same is true of the 2020 Kia Soul I drove, which at $22,485 lacked the active safety features that have become essential in our time of distracted driving. You’d have to climb further up the Soul food chain for the option of blind-spot warnings and such, but there’s still no Soul with a complete suite of crash-mitigation

Kia Soul

BELOW MARKET RATE (BMR)

Rental Apartments Available

Mistubishi Eclipse Cross

items, like Toyota Safety Sense or Honda Sensing The Soul, however, does offer the increasingly rare manual transmission.

It’s restricted to the cheapskate LX trim, which nevertheless ships with Apple/Android, rear camera, and a seven-inch screen. That screen swells to an impressive ten inches in more expensive trims, and you would think that those dazzling dashboard visuals would make collision prevention a Kia priority, but it’s not there yet.

The tested Soul mirrored the Eclipse Cross’ perky acceleration, and it felt more planted in curves, although adverse conditions might favor the Mitsu’s all-wheel traction. They’re both pleasant and functional, and that might be all you need to know.

Philip Ruth is a Castro-based automotive photojournalist and consultant ( www.gaycarguy.com ). Check out his automotive staging service at www.carstaging.com

949 POST STREET, SAN FRANCISCO, CA 94109 1 STUDIO AT $1,190.00 PER MONTH Must be income eligible and must not own a home.

Households must earn no more than the maximum income levels below: 60% of Median Income One person - $49,750; 2 persons - $56,800 Applications must be received by 5:00pm on 04/24/2019.

Postmarks will not be considered. Apply online through DAHLIA, the SF Housing Portal at https://housing.sfgov.org or mail in a paper application with a self-addressed stamped envelope to 949 Post Lottery, P.O. Box 420847 San Francisco, CA 94142. Paper applications can be downloaded from https://housing.sfgov.org or picked up from one of the housing counseling agencies listed at https://housing.sfgov.org/housing-counselors.

Please contact the Vertex Property Group’s leasing team for more information at (415) 547-0756 or ab@vertexsf.com.

Units available through the San Francisco Mayor’s Office of Housing and Community Development and are subject to monitoring and other restrictions.

Visit www.sfmohcd.org for program information.

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The Struggle for a Room with a View ing them money for access to her home.”

6/26 and Beyond Stuart Gaffney & John Lewis The views of the Pacific Ocean and Koko Head from the Queen Bedroom at Honolulu’s Aloha Bed and Breakfast were said to be breathtaking. But there was a catch: they were available only to heterosexual married couples, not LGBTIQ couples like us. Diane Cervelli and Taeko Bufford, a lesbian couple, learned that the hard way.

Several years ago, Cervelli and Bufford were looking for a place to stay near a friend they were coming to visit in Honolulu. As Cervelli was booking a room over the phone at Aloha B&B, the owner Phyllis Young asked if she and Bufford were lesbians. A shocked Cervelli answered truthfully. The owner then suddenly refused to rent them the room “stating she was very uncomfortable having lesbians in her house” and then hung up on Cervelli.

In ensuing lega l proceed ings, Young stated that “her religious belief is that same-sex relationships are ‘detestable in [her] eyes’ and ‘defile [our] land’” and that homosexuality “must be seen as an objective disorder.”

The Hawai’i Intermediate Court of Appeals rejected all of Aloha B&B’s justif ications for denying Cevelli and Bufford the room, and in a victory for LGBTIQ rights the United States Supreme Court last month let that ruling stand.

The Hawai’i court’s decision was remarkably clear. It acknowledged that people are free to have their religious beliefs and generally have a right to be left alone in their homes.

However, Young chose “to operate Aloha B&B from her home ... for commercial purposes, [and] has opened up her home to over one hundred customers per year, charg-

As such, “she has voluntarily given up the right to be left alone.” When a person engages the public in a business enterprise to make money, that business must abide by laws prohibiting discrimination. Quoting the U.S. Supreme Court, the Hawai’i court stated that discrimination in public accommodation “deprives persons of their individual dignity” and injures their “sense of self-worth and personal integrity.”

Apparently, Aloha B&B had two single rooms without views that perhaps may have been available individually to LGBTIQ people. We can only imagine how disturbing it would be to be consigned to those second-class single rooms, while a straight couple upstairs relaxed in the “heterosexuals only” shared bedroom with its fantastic views.

Indeed, the devastating personal and practical harms that secondclass treatment wreak on LGBTIQ couples form the basis for the Supreme Court’s nationwide marriage equality decisions.

wants the Court to “dramatically lean right.” To say the least, what the long-term future holds for LGBTIQ equality and many other issues at the Court is uncertain.

We take heart that presidential candidates Beto O’Rourke, Elizabeth Warren, Kamala Harris and Kirsten Gillibrand have followed Pete Buttigieg’s lead in voicing interest in possible institutional changes to the Court to reverse the recent partisan Republican politicization of the Court. Institutional change at the Court may be critical to protecting the civil and constitutional rights of countless millions of Americans, not just LGBTIQ people.

We were heartened to see new polling data last month from the Public Religion Research Institute (PRRI) showing that majorities of every major religious group in the U.S. “support laws protecting LGBT people from discrimination in housing, public accommodations and the workplace.” That includes 70% or more of Catholics and Mormons, 54% of white evangelical Protestants, and 53 % of Jehovah’s Witnesses.

We hope that the Supreme Court’s declining to consider Aloha B&B’s appeal signals that it will not tolerate such overt anti-LGBTIQ discrimination as it claimed it would not in last year’s Masterpiece Cakeshop decision. But we are cautious not to infer too much about the direction the current 9-member Court may ultimately be heading in cases pertaining to such discrimination. Another wedding cake case is already on the list of cases the Court is deciding whether or not to hear.

PRRI has previously reported that only a slim plurality of the public believes that “wedding-based businesses” should be required to serve same-sex couples if doing so contravenes their owners’ stated religious beliefs. But despite that polling result, the public may be weighing in with its dollars. According to Newsweek, Masterpiece Cakeshop, the store that pressed the issue at the Supreme Court last year, has lost 40 percent of its business and has reduced its workforce by 60%.

The Court’s declining to hear the Hawai’i case must be seen in the context of the overall strategy Chief Justice John Roberts appears to be pursuing at the Court. The New York Times Supreme Court reporter Adam Liptak recently explained on The Daily podcast that Roberts likely has the power to win very conservative victories on many issues right now, but he also “wants to protect the Court’s reputation.” Roberts has “four conservative allies raring to go and his job is to kind of tap the brakes.”

We do not know how Aloha B&B will proceed in light of the Supreme Court’s actions. We hope that it will come to recognize our common humanity and remain open with a room with a view available to all.

Roberts appears to want to proceed somewhat slowly to “achieve conservative outcomes without doing harm to the Court’s prestige.”

But Liptak believes that Roberts

John Lewis and Stuart Gaffney, together for over three decades, were plaintiffs in the California case for equal marriage rights decided by the California Supreme Court in 2008. Their leadership in the grassroots organization Marriage Equality USA contributed in 2015 to making same-sex marriage legal nationwide.

Courtesy of Mark D McHale & Associates, Real Estate https://www.markdmchale.com/7-great-tips-for-first-time-homebuyers?

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GLBT Fortnight in Review To the Hustings!

I just glanced at a headline the other day, and thought I read that people thirty and under had become less supportive of GLBT civil rights over the last decade. What the hell, I panicked! Why? Relax, everyone. It’s Republicans aged 30 and under who have turned sour, which of course leads to the obvious question: what person under 30 in this day and age would choose to be a Republican? Indeed, upon further examination, it appears that the entire young Republican cohort is shrinking by the hour, which would be nice if people under 30 actually bothered to go to the damned polls. To their credit, I guess, about a third of the under 30 gang voted in the midterms; even better, two thirds of them voted for Democrats, so I can’t complain too much.

All we need is to raise the voting rate for the irresponsible younger crowd and lower the Republican percentage of the dutiful seniors and the rest will take care of itself.

I guess we also need a candidate. I think ten more obscure white men from somewhere l i ke Colorado jumped into the race last week, most of them looking like the type of guy who stared at himself in the bathroom mirror when he was 25 and saw a President of the United States staring back. Sorry, bro. That was so last century.

Meanwhile, our number one geezer turns out to be “handsy,” just one tier down from being a Him Too. It’s ironic that my party will be creeped out by Joe Biden taking a big sniff of a woman’s hair and kissing the top of her head, while the other side has

By Ann Rostow

elected an avowed pussy grabber. But it’s true. I also recognize that Grandpa Joe is a product of his generation, but it’s not a good look and his generation is not just over the hill; they’re in the next valley.

don and the Hotel Meurice in Paris among others.

Finally, I take exception to anyone who criticizes Our Gay Candidate, Mayor Pete, because I love him so much. Some commentators on the left suggest he should be categorized with all of the other white men, due to the fact that he doesn’t seem particularly queer and he has enjoyed white male privilege, etc., etc. Others point out that Mayor Pete’s reputation for intelligence is a sexist trope because candidates like Warren and Harris are clearly just as intelligent but don’t get the same credit. I say leave the man alone. He’s obviously not going to win the nomination, but he elevates our community with his strong campaign, disarmingly forthright style and (dare I say it?) his intelligence. Also, it’s not that hard to pronounce Buttigieg. The translation should be “boot a judge,” not “boot edge edge,” because “boot edge edge” itself is impossible to pronounce.

We might also avoid the Italian city of Verona, of Romeo and Juliet fame, which has become a bastion of farright nationalism. Verona has lately been playing host to a convention organized by the World Congress of Families, a nasty group of homophobic, women-hating immigrant bashers now led by none other than our old friend from the National Organization for Marriage, Brian Brown.

Peace Out In gay travel news, we can cross Brunei off our lists thanks to their new policy of stoning gays to death. The South Asian kingdom is off icially known as “The Nation of Brunei, The Abode of Peace,” (Wikipedia tells me) and it’s one of the richest little countries in the world. Various celebrities, including George Clooney and Elton John, have called on us to boycott a number of hotels owned by the powers that be over there, so steer clear of the Beverly Hills Hotel and the BelAir in LA, the Dorchester in Lon-

Personally, I already boycott the Meurice because it was used as a Nazi headquarters during the war. Also, because it costs over $1,000 a night.

Standard Bearers What do you think of the apartment complex owner in Oak Creek, Wisconsin, who ordered long-term tenants Kevin Kollman and Merle Malterer to lower their rainbow American f lag from their patio, claiming the f lag violates a clause in their lease?

The clause says tenants may not “display anything which substantially affects the exterior of the premises or the property of which it is part” without permission. The men, who have lived at the Country Oaks Apartments for six years, say they will fight the landlords based on First Amendment rights, although I must note that the First Amendment applies to government restrictions on speech, not private contracts.

I’m sympathetic, although the men were previously informed that they could not hang a Green Bay Packers f lag during football season, because it made it seem that the apartment owners were advertising for the team.

Really? No Packers f lag allowed at a Wisconsin apartment building?

That sounds to me as if this company is perhaps not antigay, but just really really strict about their flag policy. The NBC News article I read says that several tenants fly the stars and stripes, including Kollman and Malterer, who flew the non-gay American flag without incident last summer.

ernment had the power to simply order foreign companies to follow our advice on such matters, but there you have it.

This committee, which I’ve never heard of, is part of the Treasury Department and seems to have control over certain transactions involving national security. Last year, CBS News reports, the committee intervened in an attempt by a different Chinese company to buy the American company, MoneyGram. But that seems more straightforward. In this case, Beijing Kunlun Tech already owns Grindr. It bought a majority in 2016, and acquired “full control” last year, whatever that means. (Because I would have thought a majority stake already translates to “full control.”)

Somehow, the aforementioned committee is in a position to step in and try to reverse the situation.

The rainbow American f lag is just like the regular flag, except with rainbow stripes instead of red and white ones. The owners say they hope to work something out with the two men and don’t want to evict them. I should hope not!

Grist for Our Grindr Let’s see now. In cyberspace news, Google has finally dropped an app run by the Living Hope Ministries that facilitated access to some kind of conversion therapy. That’s nice, but the question of content liability for big internet companies continues. For example, the Second Circuit just ruled that Grindr cannot be sued by a New York man who was relentlessly harassed after his pissed off exboyfriend created a number of fake profiles that sent an array of horny admirers his way.

I was attracted to the story, in part, because of the archaic connection between gayness and blackmail. Many courts have already determined, for example, that calling someone gay is not grounds for defamation or libel action per se. If being gay is no longer a shameful cross to bear, why would someone’s name on a gay dating app still be considered grounds for extortion in the year 2019? Also, is there any evidence that this Chinese company planned to data-mine Grindr on behalf of the Chinese intelligence services? Does Grindr have to be American-owned? Couldn’t bad actors hack into Grindr regardless of who owns the company? Readers, I just want things to make sense. Is that too much to ask?

And in barely related news, the Chinese lesbian app, Rela, exposed information of over five million users through a server that was not password protected. Ooops. That’s a lot of lesbians looking for love. Ladies, shall we put China in our travel plans?

Finally, and speaking of Grindr, the Committee for Foreign Investment in the U.S. has ordered Grindr’s Chinese owners, Beijing Kunlun Tech Company, to sell the gay dating company based on concerns that the users could be identified and blackmailed.

Really? I wasn’t aware that our gov-

Cat Out of the Bag (continued on page 26)

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Stonewall 50 Just as France has its Bastille Day and the United States its July Fourth, so the LGBTQ Community has long claimed the last weekend in June as its symbolic birth at the Stonewall Inn in New York City in 1969. On that weekend, after years of police brutality, subjective persecution and decades of sanctioned discrimination by local, state and federal governments, a small group of patrons at the Stonewall Inn, a small gay club in Greenwich Village, decided enough was enough.

The hot summer weather fueled tempers on both sides as police attempted to disperse or arrest a rowdy crowd made up primarily of drag queens, transsexuals, lesbians and others on the fringes of society and even of the nascent gay rights movement. Verbal taunts quickly escalated into physical violence, spilling into the surrounding streets and awakening sleeping neighbors. As with any event of this importance witnessed by a few, but imagined by many, the details become cloudy or embellished by time, but the rebellious acts of that night and the following days and nights inspired what we now consider the beginning of the LGBTQ revolution.

This summer, New York City hosts Stonewall 50, commemorating that fateful weekend and celebrating the amazing advances in the United States, while recognizing the ongoing struggle and recent setbacks. We sat down with Nicole Murray-Ramirez, the titular head of the International Court System that is partnering with the LGBTQ National Task Force on a Wall of Honor to be installed at the Stonewall Inn and unveiled on Thursday, June 27.

She’ll be there with leaders from across the globe to reveal the names

of 50 past pioneers and heroes carefully selected by a prestigious panel.

When asked why an event that happened 50 years ago is important to us today, she had this to say: “As an old Latino gay man and drag queen, I know one thing that is absolutely happening in our LGBTQ community and that is that people are forgetting our history ... our LGBTQ pioneers and trailblazers whose shoulders we stand on. The Stonewall Riots are our Community Boston Tea Party where we fought back against police brutality and discrimination. A majority of the bar patrons were Latino and African American and were street people ... yes, many were street hustlers and butch lesbians whom we in those days lovingly called bull dykes. Word of the riots spread across the country and our annual pride marches and parades are held in recognition of these riots and when we fought back.”

Murray-Ramirez worked directly with the Founder of the International Court System, well-known San Franciscan José Sarria, and has continued her leadership for the past 12 years.

“As I have said many times, a community, indeed a movement, that does not know where it came from does not really know where it’s going,” said Murray-Ramirez. “I was a national co-chair of the Stonewall 25 Celebration and March on the United Nations. I approached the co-owner of the Stonewall Inn, Curtis Kelly, to see if we could put in his bar on one of his walls a National LGBTQ Wall

of Honor. We met in New York and we selected the wall. The International Imperial Court System is the oldest LGBTQ organization in North America and we asked the National LGBTQ Task Force, the oldest L GBT nat ional civil rights organization, to be our partner and co-sponsor.”

Stonewa l l 50 is part of New York’s own Pride Celebration and Nicole Murray-Ramirez at The Stonewall Inn in New York City World Pride, and Empress Nicole the Great with although events Empress XXX Donna Sachet overlap with San Francisco Pride, June 29–30, we know tional project: John Carrillo, Russell yard or choose to travel to the recogthat some will find a way to partici- Roybal and Nathan Page.” nized birthplace of it all, June 2019 is a pate bicoastally. Of course, here in San For those who don’t know, the Inter- time to pause and reflect upon people Francisco, we are clearly aware of the national Court System successfully and actions that drastically changed Compton Cafeteria Riots that predatpetitioned the U.S. Postal Service to history. This year, when you smile at ed Stonewall by three years; so, is too create a stamp honoring Harvey Milk the Pink Triangle on Twin Peaks, join much emphasis falling on Stonewall? and the U.S. Navy to name a ship a determined protest march or attend “I feel it’s very important for us to reafter him. a moving concert, or when you gathmember and celebrate historic events like the Compton Cafeteria Demon- Even the specific events leading up er together the elements of your outfit strations, the day Harvey Milk and to the French Revolution and the for Pride Weekend, do so with gratiGeorge Moscone were assassinated, signing of the Declaration of Inde- tude and appreciation. We truly walk etc.,” said Murray-Ramirez. pendence are blurred by time and on the shoulders of giant heroes! firsthand recording; so the LGBTQ Nominations may be sent to the folThe National LGBTQ Wall of Honmovement has jumped on the events or will include names from across the lowing: http://www.thetaskforce.org/ at the Stonewall Inn on that last globe and San Francisco is encourweekend of June to become our clari- http://internationalcourtsystem.org/ aged to participate by nominating inon call, our pivotal moment, our sym- Donna Sachet is a celebrated perdividuals. “We have Imperial Court bolic lighting of the fuse that ignited former, fundraiser, activist and phichapters in 70 Cities in the United into the international civil rights bat- lanthropist who has dedicated over States, Canada, and Mexico, so we tle we have witnessed since. two decades to the LGBTQ Commuknow how to organize a national project,” she continued. “There are three Whether you are committed to the nity in San Francisco. Contact her at San Franciscans involved in this na- myriad events here in your own back- empsachet@gmail.com PHOTO BY RINK

By Donna Sachet

San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus’ ‘The Brits Are Coming’ The San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus (SFGMC) on March 22 presented The Brits Are Coming! at Davies Symphony Hall. The soldout performance featured the posh stylings of 300 queens, minus the actual Elizabeth, although her drag doppelgänger arrived with corgis in tow. A performance by the African-American Shakespeare Company was included, along with songs ranging from “Bohemian Rhapsody” to “Every Sperm Is Sacred,” during which a talented corps de sperm danced.

SFGMC Artistic Director Tim Seelig’s inspired work manages to invoke tears one minute and laughter the next. The Chorus is not done yet with “Queens,” the name of their June 21–22 concert at The Sydney Goldstein Theater. In this case, the title refers to the drag queens and other LGBTQ individuals of the past and present who, through events like the Compton’s Cafeteria and Stonewall Inn riots, sparked the movement that changed history ( https://www.sfgmc.org/queens ).

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Donna’s Chronicles

“The single best thing about coming out of the closet is that nobody can insult you by telling you what you’ve just told them.”

By Donna Sachet

–Rachel Maddow

PHOTO BY CHRIS KNIGHT

hen the San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus said The Brits Are Coming, they weren’t kidding! Their latest concert, Friday, March 22, staged at Davies Symphony Hall to a packed house, included music with all kinds of British connections along with eye-popping choralography, hilarious antics, and several nods to the Queen herself. Never losing sight of their reputation for musical excellence, there were several numbers filled with technical perfection and emotional power, especially as sung by talented soloists from among the chorus, but the crazy mash-ups and popular sing-alongs brought the house down. Artistic Director Tim Seelig continues to take this 300-strong chorus to new heights and popularity. The future looks bright for SFGMC with the recent announcement that they are purchasing an Art Deco building that will become their new, stable headquarters and also will provide new opportunities for other performing arts groups as an LGBTQ Arts Center. Get your tickets now for the final concerts of their 41st season June 21 and 22 at the Sydney Goldstein Theater (formerly Nourse Theater) when they salute drag in all of its many forms! Queens pays homage to drag queens during this 50th anniversary of the Stonewall Riots and includes appearances from the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, the Imperial Court of San Francisco and the Council of Grand Dukes and Duchesses. It all sounds too glamorous for words!

Disco Coalition at Lookout is off to a roaring start! March 29 was the night of the first in a series of thirteen weekly parties hosted by a local luminary, honoring historic heroes and raising money for San Francisco causes generously matched by Tito’s Handmade Vodka. Hostess Juanita More! packed the place with happy people as disco music evoked a golden age of nightlife; the graphic artwork created for this event by Colton Long was outstanding. We caught up with Dan O’Leary & Jonathan Teel, Bill Bulkley, Princess K, Chris Knight, Nic Hunter and a wide variety of folks. Future hosts include Grace Towers, BeBe Sweetbriar, Sister Roma, Mercedez Munro and Christopher Vasquez. Chris Hastings has everything in place for thirteen weeks of community fun and successful fundraising. You now have a reliable place to stop every Friday!

Donna with Juanita MORE!

Calendar a/la Sachet Every Sunday Sunday’s a Drag!

10:30 am Brunch, 11:30 am Show The Starlight Room Sir Francis Drake Hotel $75 inclusive https://starlightroomsf.com/sundays-a-drag

We note here the closing of another bar considered by many to be unique in its historical support of the transgender community in the heart of the Tenderloin. By the time you read this, Diva’s will have joined The Gangway, Marlena’s, Lily’s, The Giraffe, Rendezvous, Pendulum and so many others by closing its doors and fading into history.

We surprised Alexis Miranda, Absolute Empress XXXIII, manager, and bartender there, last Thursday for the happy hour she had named Therapy, frequented by a loyal group of friends. Although we arrived well after 6 pm, we understand that Diva’s was visited that day by Mark Leno, Bevan Dufty, Marlena and many others. At the bar for the final minutes of Alexis’ happy hour were Coy & Sal Meza, Emma Peel, Diana Wheeler and others. We’ve all discussed the impact of the closing of iconic businesses, but that night we were more hit by the personal loss involved as jobs are eliminated and lives are in upheaval.

Every Friday SF Disco Coalition 5–8 pm The Lookout 3600 16th Street New benefit with different hosts each week http://www.lookoutsf.com/ Saturday, April 13 SF LGBTQ Community Center’s Soirée 5–11:30 pm Terra Gallery 511 Harrison Street Entertainment Director: Juanita MORE! https://sfcenter.org/

So, in keeping with that subject, get out there and support the businesses you like! Eat, drink, shop and indulge at businesses that support our community.

Next time you hear of an imminent closing, consider when you last spent money there. One of your most powerful tools, next to your vote, is your wallet!

Sunday, April 14 Joe Mac’s Annual Easter Bonnet Sale Noon 440 Castro You’ve never seen millinery like this! http://www.the440.com/

PHOTO BY GARETH GOOCH

Donna Sachet is a celebrated performer, fundraiser, activist and philanthropist who has dedicated over two decades to the LGBTQ Community in San Francisco. Contact her at empsachet@gmail.com

Diva’s manager Alexis Miranda with Hon. Mark Leno and Rev. Diana Wheeler

Sunday, April 14 Imperial Court Investiture 6–9 pm Calle 11 1501 Folsom Street Court of Marvel, History, Re-Connection, & Fun http://www.imperialcouncilsf.org/ Monday, April 15 Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence 40th Anniversary Celebration 7–9 pm Strut 470 Castro Street Including exhibit of Ramon Vidali’s portraits of Sisters FREE https://bit.ly/2ODSSbw Sunday, April 21 Easter in the Park: The Sisters’ 40th Anniversary Noon–5 pm Dolores Park Celebrate Easter like no one else!

FREE https://www.thesisters.org/

PHOTO BY SHAWN NORTHCUTT

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This Month at the Castro Farmers’ Market Spring Has Sprung!

By Debra Morris Hippity hoppity Easter’s on its way! Make your way to your neighborhood Castro Farmers’ Market to pick up all of your spring feast ingredients, from eggs and strawberries to leafy greens, honey and baked goods.

Get your fresh eggs from Shelly’s Farm Fresh out of Brentwood who has the most delicious eggs around! Collected from her pastured “girls,” the eggs are perfect for a spring omelet, quiche or deviled eggs. Get an extra carton for the Easter egg hunt! Once you’ve tried her eggs, you won’t go back to any others.

Pick up a flat of sweet strawberries from BerryLicious in Gilroy. Their rich agricultural land grows some fantastic fruits and they offer both conventionally-grown and organic berries.

And who can forget asparagus at this time of year? Jacob’s Farm of Los Banos brings to market some awesome asparagus just waiting to be roasted, grilled or added to a quiche. Whether you like them jumbo or thin, their spears are some of the best around.

Spring honey at the market? You bet! Pirate Creek Bees brings their local honey collected from bees buzzing around the hills near Sunol. Their raw and unfiltered pure honey will make you roll your eyes in delight with their wildflower honey. Try some in your tea, atop your yogurt or on a hot biscuit.

Be sure also to pick up some fresh baked bread and rolls from Feel Good Bakery of Alameda, a dozen freshly-made tamales from Donna’s Tamales out of Martinez, and some fantastic aged raw goat cheese from Evergreen Acres Dairy from Tres Pinos.

We have everything you need to make your spring the tastiest with fresh produce and other products from the farmers who grew them. Our farmers and additional purveyors of fine goods would like to thank you, our valuable customers, for making the Grand Opening last month a highlight of the season.

Thank you for your support, and we’ll see you there!

Debra Morris is a spokesperson for the Pacific Coast Farmers’ Market Association (PCFMA). Check out the PCFMA website for recipes, information about farmers’ markets throughout the region and for much more: https://www.pcfma.org/

BROWN BUTTERED ALM

ONDS 1 16 oz. bag of raw almon ds, blanched* 4 tbsp. of pastured butte r Quality local honey to tas te (we used around 4 tb sp.)

Kosher salt to taste Optional: garnish with lav ender flowers Place four tablespoons of bu ble. Add the blanched alm tter in a sauté pan until it melts and starts to bu bon slightly browned. Add ho ds and cook until the butter and the almonds ar e ney and salt to taste. Re move the almonds from pan and allow the almon the ds to cool. Serve inside a bowl and garnish with ender flowers. lav*Blanching almonds: Place the bowl to barely cover the alm almonds in a bowl. Then pour boiling water into the on Make sure not to let the alm ds. Let the almonds sit for 1 minute and no longe r. on ness. Drain the water from ds sit in hot water too long or else they’ll lose their crisp the bowl and rinse the alm on again. Pat the almonds dry with a soft cloth or paper tow ds under cold water; drain el. To slip the skins off the monds, take one nut at a tim ale and pinch one end, allow ing the skin to loosen. The will basically pop out of its nu skin. t t, PCFMA

PHOTO BY RINK

Recipe: Cookin’ the Marke

PHOTO BY RINK

Cassandra from Shoup Farm

Gyula from Allard Farms 14

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Tom and Mackenzie from Feel Good Bakery

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Sister Dana Sez: Words of Wisdumb from a Fun Nun

By Sister Dana Van Iquity Sister Dana sez, “Illiterate, Dumbbell, Know-Nothing Trump keeps calling any opposition to him as ‘Low IQ.’ Does this dimwit even know that the letters stand for ‘Intelligence Quotient?’ And will he submit to an IQ test himself? Keep in mind that he ordered any high school and college records to be hidden. So, what’s YOUR IQ, Mr. Intelligence Impaired?!”

On the eve of St. Patrick’s Day, KREWE DE KINQUE held a SAINT PATRICK’S BEER BUST FUNDRAISER at the Edge.

Everyone was festive in green! We raised $1,075 for the RUSSIAN RIVER ALLIANCE! Many Rush Riv folks were impacted by the terrible flooding, and we were so happy that we could help those people. The event was led by newly crowned King XVI Aja MonetAshton and Queen XVI Kelly Rose. The music was gorgeously played by DJ Sergio Fedasz. King I Gary Virginia and Queen II Deana Dawn really helped to put this fabulous event together. Sister Dana was at the door busily raking in the cash for our fundraiser. King XV Garaje Gooch sold Jell-O shots to ev-

THEATRE RHINO presented A Pop-Up Production on March 16, 17, 22 and 24 at Spark Arts of Duncan Pflaster ‘s “THE UNDERPANTS GODOT,” brilliantly directed

by Alan Quismorio. A frustrated director leads a rehearsal for an avant-garde production of the classic Samuel Beckett masterpiece Waiting for Godot—but in his very different interpretation (you might even say “gay” with the main characters played by hot young men in their underpants instead of old men in trousers). A representative from the notoriously litigious Samuel Beckett estate crashed the rehearsal to investigate and decide whether the performance could be allowed. It should be noted that sometimes there was nudity (which she objected to) and men kissing (not in the original and therefore needed to be struck from the show, by her direction) and a whole lot of very picky disagreements as to the acting and the directing. This was extremely exasperating to the actors and director, but they had to accept her changes or the show would not go on. We cringed (and laughed) as this fastidious estate representative kept tearing the play to pieces. The very talented ensemble cast included Andrew Calabrese, Elizabeth Finkler, Eric Johnson, Nicole Nutterfield, Jordan Ong, Francisco Rodriguez and Gary Wills.

Mayor London Breed appointed Michael Lambert on March 25 to serve as the City Librarian of the SAN FRANCISCO PUBLIC

LIBRARY. Lambert has served as Acting Librarian since the retirement of City Librarian Luis Herrera in February 2018, and previously served as Deputy City Librarian.

Sister Dana sez, “As part of the 2020 budgeting process, heartless Betsy DeVos proposed morally bankrupt funding cuts that would have hurt children with disabilities and working-class folks—including nearly $18 million in cuts to the Special Olympics. Just another Trumpian cold-blooded administrator!”

TENDERLOIN TESSIE HOLIDAY DINNERS held a fun fundraiser at The Mix on March 18, a game show called THREE QUEENS SURVEYED, hosted and emceed by Marilyn Murrillo. The three queens were Grand Duchess Olivia Hart, Grand Duchess Davida and Krewe de Kinque Queen Kelly Rose. This was also a CELEBRATION OF LIFE FOR JEROMY MEYER. The rules were: Three Contestants pay $5 to compete against each other to try to guess what each of the 3 Queens would answer to each Outrageous Question— three per Competition. The Contestant that correctly guessed the most answers of the 3 Queens won and got to continue playing until they lost.

They competed against the other Contestants that paid $5 each in the next round of the Game Show. The grand prize was two tickets to Six Flags Vallejo. Sister Dana was Judge to clarify questions, make a ruling or give a dramatic interpretation of a question. I also gave a special blessing for the three queens, calling on the Patron Saint of Game Shows, St. Procter & Gamble, and making the audience repeat a liturgy of blessings. We had so much fun that we de-

cided to stage another game show at a bigger venue. http://www.tenderlointessie.com/ Sister Dana sez, “Chick-fil-A gave over $1.8 million to antiLGBTQ groups according to recent tax returns. It’s why I call the restaurant ‘ChickenSh**Fillet!”

Left to Lose,” while kicking a Bozo the Clown inflatable punching doll named Hanan, the evil Biblical villain against Esther. Madd Dog joined Miss S to do a delightful duet

It was PURIM, and the CJM (Contemporary Jewish Museum) had a spiel we could not resist, NIGHT AT THE JEWSEUM: PURIM CABARET. On March 21 Dennis McMillan (aka Sister Dana) and a friend enjoyed the San at the Jewish muFrancisco Gay Men’s Chorus concert The Brits Are Coming on March seum, we joined 22, at Davies Symphony Hall.

San Francisco’s fato “Lucky for You.” Faux Queen Gia vorite drag queens and kings, featuring emcee Miss Shugana, for Maica did Madonna’s “Dress You a rollicking Purim drag show. PriUp in My Love,” lip-synching while or to that, we observers had the opundressing and dancing exotically. portunity to also be queens when The whole show was Purim to perwe created our own DIY crowns at fection! the craft table. Then the show beOn the second floor, we explored gan with Miss Shugana (who gave gender expression in contemporary me a shout-out) holding a plasart on view in an exhibition entitic menorah for Drag King Madd tled SHOW ME AS I WANT TO Dog2020 to take out a lighter and BE SEEN. A sign explained, “In the “light” her menorah (actual light book of Esther, the title figure reveals bulbs) while singing “Let Me Light the Jewish identity in a risky but sucYour Candle” from Rent. Next out came macho man Drag King Macessful bid to save her people. Queen son Dickson Jar lifting a 100kg Esther’s ‘coming out’ is an archebarbell (made of rubber) flexing typal Jewish story of claiming and and slowly stripping to The Vildeclaring the self as one wants to be lage People’s “Macho Man.” Miss seen.” This free event was presentS with her assistant Mr. Gravied in partnership with CULTURE ty led us in a wild game of Mad Libs FOR COMMUNITY. (to fill in the story of Esther and the https://www.thecjm.org/ King), and then portrayed Esther lipsynching a revenge song, “Nothing (continued on page 26)

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PHOTO BY PAUL MARGOLIS

eryone (of course, for St. Pat’s they were lime green). Performers got the crowd excited. They included King Aja Monet-Ashton, Queen Kelly Rose, Queen XV Miss Chief, Kippy Marks, Cadillac Barbie, Davida, and Mark Paladini.

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LGBTQ News & Calendar for the Bay Area CELEBRATING FOUR DECADES (1978–2019)

SUNDAY, APRIL 7

Openhouse Is Not What You Think It Is

By Michelle Alcedo

Openhouse is not what you think it is.

It’s so much more. At Openhouse, we center the voices, experiences and histories of LGBTQ older adults. Our people were the first to be proud and we are still proud!

As we near the opening of our second building at 75/95 Laguna St., we are thrilled to announce San Francisco’s first LGBTQ-welcoming affordable senior housing with a 7,000 sq. ft. activity center. Inspired by our queer older adult community members and leaders who paved the way, we hope our activity center will become the home of the revolution to queer aging—to shape a truly interdependent and intergenerational future where we can all live, thrive and age with dignity.

Queer Elders Writing Project

Friendly Visitor Program

Openhouse:

Openhouse isn’t your typical senior center and we aren’t your typical seniors!

Over 20,000 LGBTQ people age 60 and older live in San Francisco. Openhouse exists to support, love and listen to our older adults, in the vision of a thriving multigenerational LGBTQ community. Our programs are diverse and ever-evolving, just like the community we serve.

6 WAYS TO GET INVOLVED Volunteer: Bring a group to volunteer at Openhouse’s LGBTQ Community lunches. Friends, work colleagues, your chosen family or even a group of neighbors—get together to connect and support Openhouse.

The Resource Navigation and Referrals Program increases access to critical healthcare, housing and other support services for older queer adults through one-on-one meetings and advocacy.

Our Meal Discussion Group’s Rainbow Lunch, Trans Elder Lunch, Sister Circle and Men’s Social bring our people together to make new friends in a spirited and welcoming space. Breaking bread and building community is a tradition we all enjoy.

Openhouse’s Friendly Visitor Program matches volunteers with LGBTQ older adults who are more isolated, to build mutual companionship and offer emotional support through biweekly home visits. Our older community members made history and now younger LGBTQ folks want to be part of the legacy.

Through this program, we honor each other’s fierceness and vulnerability, and we affirm the beauty and wisdom in being exactly who we are, at every age.

Openhouse works to create a safer place for all LGBTQ older adults. The popular notion of “successful aging” often relies on a notion of independence, which in truth creates isolation and disconnection from one another’s brilliance, wisdom, support and love. But if our LGBTQ history has taught us anything, it is that we are our most powerful when we come together as a community to care for our own. Aging is no different.

Lifelong Learning opportunities at Openhouse range from Italian and Yiddish language classes to computer literacy and using Smartphones. “I’m having the time of my life!” exclaims 73-year-old Armando Paone, Openhouse’s Education Coordinator. Paone himself speaks nine languages and shares, “Here, I get to teach the way I want to teach and it’s liberating!” Members of our Queer Elders Writers Group, led by Luis De La Garza, are working to publish their memoirs.

Openhouse believes in the power of interdependence, and the importance of giving and receiving mutual support. We envision intergenerational chosen family that holds sacred the histories of our peoples, our vulnerabilities, our contributions and our authentic, joyous, revolutionary love for one another.

Michelle Alcedo is the Director of Programs at Openhouse.

Become a Friendly Visitor: Those who volunteer as a friendly visitor for Openhouse’s Friendly Visitor Program serve the critical role of re-engaging LGBTQ seniors who have become isolated from our community. When you show up, these seniors begin to believe that they matter. For more info, contact Sylvia Vargas (sylvia@openhouse-sf.org; 415659-8123).

Refer: Help Openhouse to reach more LGBTQ seniors by increasing the nonprofit’s visibility. Simply reminding others of this vital community resource is important.

Recommend: Recommend Openhouse to a senior you know! Share the organization’s news on social media.

Support Openhouse’s Services: If you would like to make a donation to Openhouse, please visit the Openhouse website ( https://www.openhouse-sf.org/donation ) or text FLING to 41 444. Other ways to raise funds—ask friends to donate on your birthday, or host a fundraiser on Facebook.

Every donation counts and goes to help us reach more LGBTQ seniors.

Connect: Follow Openhouse online (@OpenhouseSF) to keep up with the latest announcements about programs and upcoming events.

Gilead Sciences and Openhouse Partner to Raise Awareness of HIV Long-Term Survivors While there are more than 60 AIDS Memorials throughout the country for those we have lost to the epidemic, there are no extant tributes to the resilience and strength of HIV longterm survivors. On Sunday, April 7, Gilead Sciences, Inc., and Openhouse will honor the first HIV-positive generation who defied social stigma and survived death-sentence diagnoses in the 1990s, but whose life experiences and ongoing medical needs have been lost in the current race for a cure.

Serving as Presenting Sponsor of Spring Fling, Openhouse’s annual gala event, Gilead will be on hand to honor this year’s Openhouse Trailblazer Award winner Ronald S. Johnson, who retired in 2017 after a distinguished career in HIV/AIDS advocacy and activism. Most recently, Johnson served as Vice President of Policy and Advocacy at AIDS United, where he continues to consult as a Senior Policy Fellow.

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“The first and foremost reason I remain in HIV work is because I am a person living with HIV,” Johnson said. “But I also remain involved because HIV/AIDS continues to be a major health crisis here in the U.S. and around the world.”

In addition to presenting this year’s Spring Fling gala, Gilead recently provided a capital grant of $250,000 to help build the new Openhouse Community Center opening this summer at 75 Laguna Street, next door to the organization’s headquarters at 65 Laguna. Part of this expansion grant includes funding for a Lasting Tribute to HIV long-term survivors in the central staircase of the two-story facility.

“Thanks to Gilead, Openhouse is building a Living Wall & Mural to honor HIV long-term survivors,” said Openhouse Executive Director Dr. Karyn Skultety. “This permanent art installation will be the physical and emotional centerpiece not A PR I L 4 , 2 0 1 9

only for our new community center but for an initiative to bring more HIV long-term survivors out of isolation and into a meaningful relationship with the community.”

Led by a steering committee of community leaders and long-term survivors, the Lasting Tribute Project officially will launch on June 5— HIV Long-Term Survivors Awareness Day—with the announcement of mural finalists who live with HIV or whose lives the epidemic has changed dramatically. The steering committee, whose members will be recognized at Spring Fling, will select the muralist this summer and plan a public commemoration ceremony for the Living Wall & Mural this fall.

“Comprehensive programs for aging people living with HIV (PLWH) are essential to reducing the comorbidities they face, including those with limited access to quality healthcare,” said Gregg Alton, Chief Patient Of-

ficer at Gilead Sciences. “Through our continued partnership with Openhouse, we aim to have a longterm impact on the overall health and well-being of PLWH, as well as to increase their quality of life.”

More than half of people living with HIV in the United Sates are over 50, currently at 60%, according to UNAIDS; that number is expected to reach 70% in two years. Surviving HIV/AIDS was unheard of until the discovery of highly effective antiretroviral therapy (HARRT) beginning in 1996, with the introduction of protease inhibitors. These “miracle” drugs reversed the pandemic, and most people with HIV can now expect to live long lives. Since 1987, the first year HIV was listed officially as a cause of death, more than a half-million people have succumbed to AIDS. With the advent of HARRT, the number of long-term survivors of HIV has reached 1.3 million. Over a quarter of this population was diagnosed before 1996.

“Our partnership with Gilead is an important milestone in Openhouse’s response to the health crisis and remaining stigma suffered

by HIV long-term survivors,” said Dr. Skultety. “Outreach to transgender persons living with HIV and survivors of color is especially critical because they are more likely than white gay men to keep silent about their HIV status. We must address the social isolation and healthcare disparities still suffered disproportionately by these long-term survivors in San Francisco. The Living Wall and Mural will be the centerpiece of a new awareness and appreciation for aging well with HIV.” More than 400 guests are expected to attend this year’s Spring Fling Brunch and Tea Dance.

The Incredible Opportunity to Serve LGBTQ Seniors opportunity to be reminded of the privileges I might easily otherwise take for granted.

What do people say when I tell them that my career and my passion are in working with seniors?

Can you guess? Most people look to the ground and mutter something along the lines of, “Well, that must be depressing.” Others simply give a knowing smile and then gently say, “Thank you for doing that work— I know I could never do it.” And, of course, there are those who just go for a straightforward, “Ugh,” and walk the other direction.

So, I am here to set the record straight and to say it loud and clear: There is nothing sad or depressing about my work. Every single day I have the opportunity to be surrounded by heroes. Every single day I am grateful for the incredible

About two years ago, shortly after I became the Executive Director of Openhouse, I brought my kids, Quinn (age 8) and Nova (age 5), to a Pride party at Openhouse. It was a crowded event, attended by over 100 LGBTQ seniors. Many of the people at the party were new to me and I found myself feeling self-conscious.

I began to envision how my lovely, but often wild, children would run into someone or knock over the decorations or completely empty out the plates of cookies. I noticed Gena, a 70-year-old lesbian woman from our Openhouse art group, shaking her head in what I assumed was annoyance. She began walking over to me, barely missing Quinn’s sprawled out legs as he laid down to do some art on the floor.

I braced myself for a lecture as Gena approached, and was startled when she said, “Thank you.”

I was stunned and simply replied, “Uh, for what?” Gena looked me in the eye and cautiously responded, “For bringing them here.” I’ll ad-

mit at that point, I looked around to see if perhaps someone else had brought other children to the event.

Gena continued on and explained, “I am thanking you for bringing your kids here. You see, most of us in this room didn’t have our own kids, but it goes beyond that. We spent most of our lives hearing that we were a danger to children and we were people they should not even be around.”

Nothing could be clearer to me in that moment than how lucky I am and how I was standing among the people who have paved the way for my life today. I am an inspired 42-year-old queer woman with a wife and children who gets to spend my day with the people who gave me that life. I get to spend my day with activists who started the LGBTQ movement—our seniors. It is not just the life that they helped to build for LGBTQ people. It is that they shaped this city to become what it is known for today: a place to be who you are and love whom you love.

Every time I then hear someone say, “Your work is so depressing,” my heart breaks. Imagine how seniors are being treated if this is the re-

By Karyn Skultety, PhD

action to who they are. It is no wonder that despite our expanding housing and services for LGBTQ seniors, they continue to report high levels of isolation and loneliness.

They let us know that this is a city where ageism is thriving. They report that the experience of growing old in San Francisco is one of being pushed out and feeling invisible.

It is not just the impact of the collective “ugh” on individuals that hurts me. It is equally painful to consider all of Emily Murase, SF Commission on the Status of Women director, joined Supervisor Rafael Mandelman the ways that our community in honoring Openhouse’s Karyn Skultety as District 8 and our city are missing out. Visionary Woman of the Year.

We are missing our opportunity to know our history. We other closet—a place to shut the are missing our chance to not take door and hide LGBTQ people as our privilege for granted but to trea- they age. Join me in an opportunisure it. We are missing our connec- ty to hear the voices of resilience. tion to the resilience that could lead Work together and stand with our our fight for social justice forward seniors. Stand next to them and entoday. sure that they are central in our LGPlease stop telling me that you are BTQ communities, central in the thankful that I am working with se- city they helped to build and central niors so that you don’t have to. Stop in our fight for social justice today. and ask yourself about what kind of community you want to build. Karen Skultety, PhD, is the ExecuDon’t let Openhouse become an- tive Director of Openhouse.

A Bold New Initiative Invests in the Health of Long-Term Survivors of HIV

Aging in Community Dr. Marcy Adelman In little more than a decade, 70% of people living with HIV will be over the age of 50. Today the challenge for people living with HIV in the United States is no longer about life or death but about quality of life. Across the country and in San Francisco, long-term survivors have vigorously advocated for social and mental health services targeted to the unique needs of their aging community and for far too long their voices have not been heard.

Priority Needs of HIV Long-term Survivors When I asked Jesus Heberto Guillen Solis, founder of the HIV Long Term Survivors Group, about what he saw as the priority needs of the community, he spoke to the pressing need for mental health services and social programs to engage and empower long-term survivors of HIV.

“Survivor’s guilt, PTSD, depression and anxiety can keep us in isolation,” Solis told me for the San Francisco Bay Times. “Sometimes it is hard just getting up in the morning, even if it is to access the services you need.”

term survivors of HIV. Gilead has launched a 17.3-million-dollar initiative, HIV Age Positively, to support the needs of older adults living with HIV. Finally, the voices of long-term survivors have been heard.

He suggested that San Francisco should look into funding a service model that brings social and therapy services into people’s homes as an effective way to break the cycle of depression and isolation experienced by many long-term survivors. He continued, “But whatever mental health services we receive, the service provider needs to understand our history and how HIV and our medications affect us.”

Bill Hirsch, Executive Director of San Francisco’s AIDS Legal Referral Panel, applauded Gilead’s investment. “Gilead brought experts, activists and long-term survivors together,” he said. “They heard from the long-term survivor’s community what they need and responded with an initiative that doubles down on the direction Gilead has been going in for some years now. This initiative is a significant investment in an under-served community whose social and mental health needs are clear and compelling.”

He shared his frustration that, all too often, his request for mental health services have been dismissed. “I’m told, ‘Your community is already being served by existing services.’ But we aren’t being served by existing services. There needs to be better outreach to break through the isolation and more services directly targeted for long-term survivors.” Fortunately, no matter how frustrating the responses have been, Solis and other activists have never given up.

A New 17.3-Million-Dollar Initiative At the beginning of 2019, Gilead Science, a company that develops and delivers lifesaving medication, announced a significant investment in the health and well-being of long-

A total of 30 grantees, both national and local organizations, from around the country have received funding in one of three areas of focus—increased coordination between health systems and community programs, stigma and isolation reduction through education and training, and increased support to community serving programs and HIV aging positive policy changes.

National programs include the funding of the country’s first National Resource Center for HIV and Aging (Gay Men’s Health Crisis, Inc.—GMHC), the improvement of policy and care coordination through data collection (HealthHIV), the creation of a national ac-

Openhouse Spring Fling 2019 Spring Fling 2019, benefiting Openhouse, will take place on Sunday, April 7, from 11 am–5 pm at the Ritz-Carlton in San Francisco. This annual gala is where the Bay Area LGBTQ community gathers to celebrate and raise funds for LGBTQ senior community programs and services. This year Openhouse is honoring:

Trailblazer Award Ronald S. Johnson Johnson is being honored for four decades of national HIV/AIDS advocacy and activism, and winning progressive social change through the development of, and advocacy for, public policies.

tion oriented HIV/ Aging think tank ( SAGE ), and the development and implementation of a national HIV and aging cultural competency training program for nurses ( The Association of Nurses in AIDS Care ).

According to Tez Anderson, the 58-yearold founder of Let’s On behalf of the San Francisco Bay Times, Karen Skulkety preK ick A SS, a long sented a bouquet to Openhouse founder Marcy Adelman. term-survivor advocacy organization, and a consultant Currently, four Gilead initiative on the GMHC’s National Resource grantees are local San Francisco Center grant, “A lot of people don’t nonprof its: Project Open Hand, know where to go for resources. San Francisco AIDS Foundation, Even for someone like me who has Shanti Project, Inc., and the Unibeen doing this for so long, it can be versity of California San Francisco’s Golden Compass Program. overwhelming at times. There is so much you need and need to know, 1.Project Open Hand, a nonand it seems to always be chang- prof it organization that provides ing. You choose a provider for the warm meals for seniors, adults with medication benef its only to have disabilities and people living with the prescription change on you in HIV and other illnesses, received a a very short space of time. For peo- grant for $700,000 over 3 years to ple who take 10 plus medications a create an intense case management program to educate and empowday, and I take 20 drugs, it can get er their constituents to better mainreally hard to stay on top of it. Artain quality of life through healthy ranging your medication benefits is nutrition. just one of many things you have to do to take care of yourself. Having 2. San Francisco AIDS Foundation medication and insurance informa- (SFAF) will receive $600,000 over tion in one place will make a huge the next 3 years to expand the agency’s programs to reduce social isodifference in people’s lives.”

Giliad Initiative Grantees

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GEN OUT Award San Francisco Lesbian/ Gay Freedom Band

Founders Award Neil Sims Sims’ recognition is for his exceptional contribution to LGBTQ seniors by serving on the Openhouse board for 12 years and his past role as Commissioner at the San Francisco Department of Aging & Adult Services.

Founded in 1978 by Jon Sims at the height of Anita Bryant’s anti-gay crusade, the Band has made music to build understanding among communities of all sexual orientations and identities.

They celebrated their 40th anniversary last year, and were named San Francisco’s Official Band in 2018.

For more info and tickets: https://secure.givelively.org/event/openhouse/spring-fling-2019 S AN F R ANC IS C O BAY T IM ES

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Roland Schembari and Bill Hartman, Co-Founders Randy Alfred, Founding News Editor 1978

Why Can’t I Find a Partner?

2. Emerging from an Anxious Attachment Style they’re unlovable, and they often long for the perfect romantic relationship that will disconfirm that belief. In their relationships, deep-seated expectations that they are going to be rejected drive them to cling and feel overly dependent on their partners.

Kim Corsaro Publisher 1981-2011

2261 Market Street, No. 309 San Francisco CA 94114 Phone: 415-601-2113 525 Bellevue Avenue Oakland CA 94610 E-mail: editor@sfbaytimes.com www.sfbaytimes.com The Bay Times was the first newspaper in California, and among the first in the world, to be jointly and equally produced by lesbians and gay men.

We honor our history and the paper’s ability to build and strengthen unity in our community.

The Bay Times is proud to be the only newspaper for the LGBT community in San Francisco that is 100% owned and operated by LGBT individuals.

Dr. Betty L. Sullivan Jennifer L. Viegas Co-Publishers & Co-Editors

Beth Greene Michael Delgado Abby Zimberg Design & Production

Kate Laws Business Manager Blake Dillon Calendar Editor

Kit Kennedy

Poet-In-Residence

J.H. Herren Technology Director Carla Ramos Web Coordinator Mario Ordonez Juan Ordonez

Examined Life Tom Moon, MFT A question I’ve heard frequently in my work over the last four decades is “Why can’t I find a partner?” Last time I explored some of the psychological roadblocks to developing satisfying relationships from the perspective of Attachment Theory, which proposes that human beings have three distinct styles for bonding to other people—secure, anxious and avoidant.

The latter two styles are the ones most likely to make it difficult to form stable relationships. This time I’ll focus on what those with an anxious attachment style can do to be more successful in connecting with others.

To recapitulate brief ly, people with anxious attachment styles typically live with a constant sense of emotional hunger. Their deepest fear is that

Anxious types tend to assume the role of the “pursuer” in their relationships. They do most of the heavy lifting. They call, initiate, invite, seduce, help, rescue, confront, negotiate, forgive. Unfortunately, the people they pursue are usually the kind of people with which they’re most familiar from their childhood traumas and deprivations—avoidant attachment types. The result is that they desperately grasp at what is unavailable, which only increases their anxiety, despair and sense of worthlessness. If you recognize yourself in this description, the most important thing that you can do to both take care of yourself and improve your chances for finding satisfying relationships is to end the habit of pursuing.

This is much easier said than done, because the intensity of these love dramas—the thrill of the pursuit, the ecstasy of overcoming resistance, the agony of withdrawal and rejection, the renewed hope in reconciliations— has an addictive quality about it that is intense and compelling. That’s why some anxious types identify them-

selves as love addicts and find twelve step programs such as Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous helpful. In any case, there can be no improvement in the quality of life for anxious types until they catch on to the self-defeating quality of the pattern of chasing what always runs away, and begin to understand that they don’t have to fight, grasp, cling or beg for love.

Some people with anxious styles benefit from psychotherapy. Ideally, the therapy experience is a reparative relationship in which an atmosphere of safety and trust facilitates honesty, disclosure and self-exploration, and creates the kind of secure attachment that was missing in the anxious person’s formative years. Therapy can help dislodge the conviction of being unworthy of love or respect. It can help the anxious person learn to behave in a more self-loving manner— to self-regulate, self-soothe and to treat himself or herself with the kind of care and compassion that we all want from our partners.

It may seem strange, but many anxious attachment types actually need to work to let themselves receive love when it’s offered freely. In the presence of a securely attached person, the overly-stimulated nervous system of an anxious type calms and relaxes. But if you’ve learned to see love as a thrill ride of agony and ecstasy,

someone who offers you the possibility of a secure attachment can initially seem boring. When someone returns your calls, shows up when they say they will and is direct and honest about their feelings for you—where is the challenge in any of that?

If you’re caught in this pattern, it’s important to understand that emerging from it requires a conscious reconditioning of your entire attachment system. You can’t just “go with your feelings” and “trust your heart” to provide reliable guidance in choosing a partner. People with anxious attachment styles have learned to recreate early destructive relationships, forever searching for a security that wasn’t available to them then. When you feel instant passion for a new love, that very intensity may mean that this is exactly the wrong person for you.

But with patience and work, it is possible to live in a relaxed nervous system, to f ind relationships that enhance your sense of security, and to see partners with honesty, integrity and reliability as desirable—even hot.

Next Time: Emerging from an Avoidant Attachment Style Tom Moon is a psychotherapist in San Francisco. For more information, please visit his website http://tommoon.net/

Distribution

CONTRIBUTORS Writers Rink, Sister Dana Van Iquity, Ann Rostow, Patrick Carney, Kate Kendell, Alex Randolph, Heidi Beeler, Gary M. Kramer, Dennis McMillan, Tom Moon, Tim Seelig, Cinder Ernst, John Chen Rafael Mandelman, Jewelle Gomez, Phil Ting, Rebecca Kaplan, Kin Folkz, Leslie Katz, Philip Ruth, Peter Gallotta, Bill Lipsky, Karen Williams, Donna Sachet, Gary Virginia, Zoe Dunning, Marcy Adelman, Stuart Gaffney & John Lewis Brandon Miller, Jamie Leno Zimron Michele Karlsberg Lyndsey Schlax, Randy Coleman, Debra Walker, Howard Steiermann, Andrea Shorter, Scott Tsui, Lou Fischer, Frankie Bashan, Karin Jaffie, Brett Andrews, Karen E. Bardsley, David Landis Photographers Rink, Phyllis Costa, Jane Higgins Paul Margolis, Chloe Jackman, Bill Wilson, Jo-Lynn Otto, Sandy Morris, Abby Zimberg, Morgan Shidler, JP Lor ADVERTISING Display Advertising Standard Rate Cards http://sfbaytimes.com/ or 415-503-1375 Custom ad sizes are available. Ads are reviewed by the publishers.

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April’s Fools

By David Perry

Russian leftists and commuI n Ju ly 193 6 , G enernists fought for the Republic. al Francisco Franco led a military coup against the In true capitalist fashion, the duly elected Second Span“free” governments of the ish Republic. The resultU.S. and the U.K. found a ing Spanish Civil War left way to, off icially, avoid the over a million dead, deconf lict but readily acceptstroyed the infrastructure ed Franco’s government afof Spain and ended with ter war’s end. There are still David Perry Franco’s victory 80 years people in Spain who openly— ago on April 1, 1939. What if quietly—revere the dictator. Bars followed was 36 years of a fascist dicwith his photo on the wall are not untatorship under “El Caudillo.” usual. And yet, the country now is a The ghosts of Franco still haunt fractured, but liberal, democracy that Spain, not unlike the miasma of the has bound up the nation’s wounds in U.S. Civil War that still tortures our a far more civil fashion than my own. body politic in America. However, 80 years ago on April 1, the rehearshere in Spain, they have moved on al for the greatest armed conflict on quicker: a Spanish trait to “get over earth ended with Franco’s victory it,” or as a popular phrase goes, “Barspeech in Madrid. Five months latrer debajo de la alfombra,” meaning, er—September 1, 1939—it started in “Sweep it under the rug and just preearnest with the Nazi blitzkrieg. Totend there’s nothing there.” day, in countries large and small, ciHere in my husband’s hometown of vilians die in the millions from famSantander once stood the country’s ine, war, neglect and open warfare last statue of the dictator, quietly rel- funded by U.S. tax dollars. egated to a museum warehouse over Have we learned anything, just moved 10 years ago. 150 years after the fall of Richmond, the equestrian mono- on or merely now have become so imlith of “Lee” still bestrides the Con- mune to institutionalized injustice as federate-heavy Monument Avenue: to no longer be moved? a molten amber in a city full of icons That is the real meaning of April to “The Glorious Cause.” The South Fool’s: that the world is no longer “ofhasn’t moved on; it’s just stuck. f icially” at war. We are all April’s The Spanish Civil War was very Fools for thinking that world wars much a “test run” for WWII. Five ever end. months after Franco’s Nationalist victory, Germany invaded Poland: September 1, 1939. Hitler’s Nazi war machine and Mussolini’s fascists openly supported Franco, including the infamous bombing of Guernica. U.S. and

SF Sketch Randy Coleman

David Perry is the CEO and Founder of David Perry & Associates, Inc. ( https://www.davidperry.com/ ). He wrote this piece on April 1 while in Santander, Spain, the hometown of his husband Alfredo Casuso.

Randy Coleman hails from New York, but has lived in San Francisco since 1975. Coleman shares that before moving to the Bay Area, he studied Art History and Architecture at Boston University while working as a resident artist for architectural rendering at a Massachusetts historical society.

“All of my life I’ve been an artist,” Coleman says. “To know me is to know that I have a passion for art and architecture. I love this project for the San Francisco Bay Times, and hope that you enjoy my sketches.”

© Randy Coleman, 2019 S AN F R ANC IS C O BAY T IM ES

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LGBTQ News & Calendar for the Bay Area CELEBRATING FOUR DECADES (1978–2019)

From the Coming Up Events Calendar See page 28

Wednesday, April 17 - Vanity Fair @ A.C.T.’s Geary Theater, 415 Geary Street. A colorful adaptation of William Makepeace Thackery’s satire of 19th century British society. 8pm continuing through April 26. http://www.act-sf.org

Friday, April 19 - National Coalition of 100 Black Women’s Annual Luncheon and Empowerment Forum @ Marriott Marquis, 780 Mission Street. White House correspondent April Ryan is the keynote speaker.

8:30am-3pm. http://www.onehundredbkackwomen.com

Armistead Maupin’s Tales of the City Will Open the 2019 San Francisco International Film Festival The 2019 San Francisco International Film Festival (SFFILM Festival) will kick off with the World Premiere of Netflix’s new original series Armistead Maupin’s Tales of the City, Wednesday, April 10, 7 pm at the Castro Theatre.

The evening will include a screening of the full first episode and a special preview of the upcoming series, followed by the Opening Night Party at the Regency Center. Showrunner, writer and executive producer Lauren Morelli, director and executive producer Alan Poul, author and executive producer Armistead Maupin, and star and executive producer Laura Linney are expected to be among those attending and participating in a post-screening Q&A. Tickets for the announced available seats went in a flash, but there’s a possibility that more could be released, according to the event organizers.

A lso, last-minute tickets—known as rush tickets—may become available for purchase just before showtime when advance tickets have sold out. If so, a rush line will form outside the venue, usually starting one hour before showtime. Approximately ten minutes prior to the screening, empty seats are counted and will be sold on a first-come, first-served basis to those in the rush line. Rush tickets will only be sold to those actually waiting in line at the time of sale.

In terms of the series itself, SFFILM outgoing Executive Director Noah Cowan said, “Like nothing before it, Armistead Maupin’s series of Tales of the City books defined the values and unique worldview of San Francisco and the Bay Area. We are thrilled that this new take on his original vision, the remarkable result of a collaboration between Lauren Morelli and Alan Poul, that incredible cast, and our friends at Netf lix, can be introduced to the world for the first time in the place that originally gave it life. It’s going to be one hell of a ‘coming home’ party!”

Members of our San Francisco Bay Times team fondly remember waiting for each installment of Tales of the City when Maupin’s column ran in the San Francisco Chronicle. His writing offered veiled—and sometimes not so cryptic—references to actual people and places. We have never seen the Marina Safeway the same since, for example. Note this passage from Maupin’s first Tales of the City book (Harper Perennial, 1978) where Connie, a friend of one of the lead characters Mary Ann Singleton, encourages her new-

to-SF pal to check out the grocery store: Connie: “Safeway, dink. As in supermarket.”

Mary Ann: “That’s what I thought you said. You sure know how to show a girl a good time.”

Connie: “For your information, dink, Social Safeway just happens to be ... well, it’s just the ... big thing, that’s all.”

Mary Ann: “For those who get off on groceries.”

Connie: “For those who get of f on men, hon. It’s a local tradition. Every Wednesday night. And you don’t even have to look like you’re on the make.”

In addition to keeping up with Maupin’s column and books, members of our team enjoyed the Tales of the City musical that enjoyed an extended run at the American Conservatory Theatre in 2011. It was directed by Tony Award nominee Jason Moore (Shrek, Avenue Q , Steel Magnolias). Scissor Sisters band members Jake Shears and John Garden penned the score. We hoped that the musical would go to Broadway, but like fog over 28 Barbary Lane, its magic did not last.

We a lso loved t he 1993 telev ision miniseries that was produced

by Channel 4 in the U.K. and was screened by PBS here the next year.

Second and third installments ran on Showtime in 1998 and 2001, keeping faves Laura Linney as Mary Ann and Olympia Dukakis as Anna Madrigal.

KIT’N KITTY’S

QUEER POP QUIZ

The Netf lix Original Series Armistead Maupin’s Tales of the City will begin a new chapter in the still-popular story. Mary Ann (again played by Linney) returns to present-day San Francisco and is reunited with her daughter Shawna (Ellen Page) and ex-husband Brian (Paul Gross), 20 years after leaving them behind to pursue her career.

Fleeing the midlife crisis that her pictureperfect Connecticut life created, Mary Ann is quickly drawn back into the orbit of Anna Madrigal (Dukakis) and her chosen family, the residents of the aforementioned 28 Barbary Lane, which was inspired by the city’s actual Macondray Lane on the southeastern side of Russian Hill.

Premiering this summer on Netflix, Armistead Maupin’s Tales of the City is a Working Title Television and NBCUniversal International studios production for the mega media-services provider. Working Title’s Andrew Stearn, Liza Chasin, Tim Bevan and Eric Fellner served as Executive Producers.

Stearn alone has an incredible career that includes work on Shameless, The West Wing, Animal Kingdom, Third Watch and Southland, just to name a few.

The SFFILM Festival screening will be followed by a rousing Opening Night Party at 9 pm at the Regency Center (1290 Sutter Street), kicking off the 2019 SFFILM Festival program with a bash featuring live entertainment, dancing and treats from some of San Francisco’s finest food and beverage purveyors.

2019 San Francisco International Film Festival The longest-running film festival in the Americas, the SFFILM Festival is an extraordinary showcase of cinematic discovery and innovation in one of the country’s most beautiful cities. The 62nd edition runs April 10–23 at venues across the Bay Area and features nearly 200 films and live events, 14 juried awards with close to $40,000 in

cash prizes, and upwards of 100 participating filmmaker guests.

SFFILM SFFILM is a nonprofit organization with a mission to champion the world’s finest films and filmmakers through programs anchored in and inspired by the spirit and values of the San Francisco Bay Area. Presenter of the festival, SFFILM is a year-round organization delivering screenings and events to more than 75,000 film lovers and media education programs to more than 12,000 students and teachers annually. In addition to its public programs, SFFILM supports the careers of independent filmmakers from the Bay Area and beyond with grants, residencies, and other creative development services.

For more information: SFFILM: https://sffilm.org/ Armistead Maupin: https://www.armisteadmaupin.com/

IT MATTERED This “What Mattered Most” country western singer came out as gay after an indecent exposure arrest and a stint in rehab.

A) Keith Urban B) Ty Herndon C) Alan Jackson D) Billy Gilman ANSWER ON PAGE 26

Karin Jaffie, aka Kit/Kitty Tapata, won the title of Mr. Gay San Francisco in 2011 and has earned many other honors since.

Connect with Jaffie via Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/pg/ktapata

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Queer Films and More at This Year’s San Francisco International Film Festival

Film Gary M. Kramer The San Francisco International Film Festival opens April 10 with a screening of Armistead Maupin’s Tales of the City and closes April 21 with Gavin Hood’s Official Secrets. In between there are more than a hundred features, documentaries and shorts, including several LGBTQ titles (most were unavailable for preview). Here’s a rundown of a half dozen international films to catch at this year’s fest.

Out gay director Stanley Kwan’s stylish new drama First Night Nerves features two rival actresses—Yuan Xiuling (Sammi Cheng) and He Yuwen (Gigi Leung)—performing in a play directed by Ouyang An (Kam Kwok Leung), a transwoman. The film depicts the week leading up to the production’s opening night and, of course, more drama takes place off stage than on.

First Night Nerves Xiuling is coming out of retirement to perform, while Yuwen, who has had success in film—she took a part Xiuling was supposed to perform—is seeking to establish herself as a stage actress. As details of their lives and careers are revealed, First Night Nerves gets juicier. Xiuling has a complicated backstory involving her late husband, and she’s possibly seeking companionship with Fu Sha (Bai Baihe), a wealthy lesbian. Meanwhile, Yuwen is looking to rewrite the script to increase her lines and upstage her costar. Before long, the actresses find themselves re-examining their motivations and behavior. It’s a canny film that benefits from Kwan’s sure hand and artful turns by the two leads.

Another film with queer themes is the absorbing South African entry The

Paper Flags Harvesters. Set in the Free State region, teenage Janno (Brent Vermeulen) lives, farms and prays with his Afrikaans parents ( Juliana Venter and Morné Visser). When they take in Pieter (Alex van Dyk), a rivalry develops between the boys. Things are further complicated in this hyper-masculine culture when one of the teens has same-sex desires. Gorgeouslylensed and well-acted, The Harvesters is a worthwhile drama.

T he compel l ing French impor t Paper Flags opens with Vincent (Guillaume Gouix) being released from jail after 12 years inside. He arrives at his sister Charlie’s (Noémie Merlant) house, and she takes Vincent in. As he searches for work, the siblings come to know each other better.

Vincent, however, is still a hothead, and his outbursts can cause physical and emotional damage to others.

Paper Flags is an interesting character study and Gouix is riveting to watch.

He gives a highly internal performance—all cocky swagger with a mix of rage and frustration bubbling-under the surface. His appearance at a therapy session reveals much about his character, but it is watching him have a meltdown when his father turns up unexpectedly for lunch, or the joy that he expresses while driving, which makes the complicated Vincent most sympathetic. Paper Flags trades more on emotion than action, yet it features a quietly powerful ending.

Also from France is the urgent, gritty crime drama Close Enemies.

Manu (Matthias Schoenaerts) is a criminal hellbent on avenging the untimely death of his colleague Imrane (Adel Bencherif). Imrane was— unbeknownst to Manu—an informant for Driss (Reda Kateb), a cop who grew up in the same neighborhood as Manu. As Manu works with Driss to find out who killed Imrane, deals are made, and double-crosses happen. Close Enemies is standard cops-and-criminals stuff, but it’s thor-

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oughly gripping, propelled by Schoenaerts’ intense, physical performance.

Urug uayan writer/director Federico Veiroj’s gentle film Belmonte features the title character (Gonzalo Delgado), a depressed painter.

Even though he sells his work, and has an exhibition coming up, Belmonte’s only interest is in spending more time with his young daughter Celeste (Olivia Molinaro Eijo). But his ex-wife Jeanne ( Jeanne Sauksteliskis) is pregnant, and she wants Celeste to be with her. This comedy-drama of manners has Belmonte interacting with his family, his clients and others, navigating his way through personal, romantic and business situations. It’s a slight portrait that is engrossing, but Belmonte never engenders strong emotions. Nevertheless, Delgado has perfected the hangdog expression.

In My Room, from Germany, starts out slowly with the sad sack Armin (Hans Löw) watching his grandmother (Ruth Bickelhaupt) die. When he wakes up the next day, however, Armin is literally alone—everyone has disappeared, save for some animals.

Embracing this solitary existence, Armin ekes out life on his own, with various successes and setbacks.

Things take a not unexpected twist when Kirsi (Elena Radonicich) shows up and she and Armin couple up, though she is adamant about not wanting a baby. The Adam and Eve scenario is unsubtle—especially when Armin picks an apple—but writer/director Ulrich Köhler does not seem to put much urgency into their situation.

Viewers who lean into the film’s easy rhythms will enjoy this modest survivalist tale, but others will be restless and bored. Löw acquits himself well in the leading role and his lack of energy is compensated by Radonicich’s fiesty supporting turn. © 2019 Gary M. Kramer Gary M. Kramer is the author of “Independent Queer Cinema: Reviews and Interviews,” and the coeditor of “Directory of World Cinema: Argentina.” Follow him on Twitter @garymkramer Additional Films with LGBTQ Interest For details, visit http://www.sffilm.org Aniara, Hugo Lilja & Pella Kågerman, Sweden Ask Dr. Ruth, Ryan White Bloodroot, Douglas Tirola Booksmart, Olivia Wilde Halston, Frédéric Tcheng Midnight Cowboy: 50th Anniversary Screening, John Schlesinger Unsettled: Seeking Refuge in America, Tom Shepard Shorts 3 Shorts 8 We Are the Radical Monarchs, Linda Goldstein Knowlton

Weddings, Occasions & Relationships Tips on Making Love Last tional Bank Account” concept.

Gottman is among the authorities of marriage and relationships, having observed thousands of couples over decades.

Lonely No More Scott Tsui Recently, my partner and I took a gay cruise vacation to Tahiti. While enjoying the picturesque beauty of the islands, I had the pleasure of chatting with single gay men and couples about dating and their relationships.

Being a mature crowd ranging from 40s–70s, many on the cruise had been around the block a few times. I met couples who’ve been together anywhere from 5–41 years. Interacting with them, I considered not only the length of their relationships, but also the quality and whether or not they still enjoy each other’s company.

From my observations, these couples were staying together for various reasons: some good and some not so good. Reasons included, for example, the bond of the home they built together, financial considerations or companionship. A few remained intimate and loving even after 3+ decades.

Other reasons were more negatively based, such as fear of the unknown, the inability to venture beyond an abusive relationship, and aversion to entering the dating scene afresh. There were tiresome couples who constantly bickered and found no pleasure in each other’s company, and then others who fought continually just because drama had become a part of their life. Other couples had simply drifted apart.

What brings quality to a satisfying and meaningful relationship? What’s the ultimate secret?

To unveil the secret of successful relationships, it’s important to become acquainted with John Gottman’s “Emo-

He discovered that many couples failed to connect emotionally and didn’t realize it. The key to remaining connected is to turn “towards” instead of “away.”

Turning towards can be simply acknowledging what your partner says with a, “That’s interesting,” to show that you’re listening.

You’re turning towards your partner rather than remaining mute, which is turning away. Remaining mute causes your partner not to feel heard or understood.

Every positive response to your partner’s attempts at connection is a deposit into the Emotional Bank Account, while turning away constitutes a withdrawal. It’s much the same as with a real bank account.

A bank account in the red indicates trouble and a relationship in jeopardy, which causes partners to feel lonely and disconnected, wondering whether the relationship is working. An emotional bank account in the green indicates the partners are maintaining a positive relationship and are remaining connected even through times of conflict.

Every act of turning towards, no matter how subtle or small, counts as a positive interaction in that account. Negative interactions would result from turning away.

Keys to Managing Your Emotional Bank Account Focus on deposits (positive interactions) and minimize the chances of withdrawals (negative interactions). Examples of positive interactions include: • • • •

turning towards your partner; paying attention and listening; asking for more information; substantiating your partner’s perspectives; • expressing sympathy.

Keep in mind that 5 positive interactions cancel out 1 negative interaction.

Build up your daily Emotional Bank Account with at least 20 positive interactions. It’s important to make these small deposits every day to save for “rainy days.”

They can be small gestures, such as smiling and saying “thank you” or “I love you” for no particular reason.

They can also be thoughtful actions such as a hug, washing dishes, doing chores, cooking a meal or doing something else that shows you care. These deposits build up and result in a bank account in the green even after a withdrawal.

Don’t underestimate these small deposits. Their impact can be significant in times of crisis that require a substantial withdrawal.

An emotionally rich relationship is built up over time and doesn’t just happen during a two-week vacation in the Caribbean.

While depositing into the Emotional Bank Account of your partner is crucial in a relationship, making deposits in your own Emotional Bank Account if you’re single is just as important. Appreciate yourself and have a positive outlook. Treat yourself well and be kind. Show yourself the love and respect that you would give to a partner to feel positive and happy. We need to generate happiness within ourselves so that we can share this in any relationship.

Start today by choosing an action as your first emotional deposit either to yourself and/or a friend or partner. What will be your first deposit? Let me know what some of your actions have been to keep “in the green.” Please let me know at scotttsui@lonelynomorebook.com Scott Tsui is the Relationship Results Coach, author of “Lonely No More – 8 Steps to Find Your Gay Husband” and the creator of the world’s first online gay relationship training: Gay Men Relationship Blueprint. Tsui works to help gay men find, attract and sustain meaning ful relationships. For more information: http://scotttsui.com/

Artifacts from Polynesia, created by indigenous people of Tahiti and Marquesas, are displayed along with original paintings in the Gauguin: A Spiritual Journey exhibit at the de Young Museum through April 7. The exhibit catalogue and related gift items can be purchased online. http://www.shop.famsf.org

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Historical Fiction and the Pansy Craze lying experienced by members of the community.

I t ’s f l o o r i n g h o w many Americans are unaware of the rich LGBT histor y that has helped to shape t he cou nt r y. Even revolutionary movements—like the “Pans y C r a z e ”— h av e flown under the radar.

Words As philosopher and author George Santayana stated, “Those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” The study of history is exceptionally important to the health and state of a nation and its people.

Notoriously, American schools have focused on teaching students from an Anglo-Saxon perspective, presenting a biased survey of our country’s yesteryears. Marginalized groups such as African Americans, Native Americans, Latin Americans and the American LGBT community struggle to gain meaningful representation in all settings, especially scholastic institutions.

Portraiture, Fine Art, Event Photography 415.481.5185 www.exlightstudio.com

Narrated by a 21-yearold c lo s et e d mob ster living in Chicago during the Capone days, In the City by the Lake tells of life dur ing t he Pa nsy Craze and The Great Depression that stalled the trajectory of a burgeoning L GBT movement.

The Pansy Craze

Michele Karlsberg

Step into the story... and become art

ate and liberate in the midst of the political landscape, she began to pen novels that focus on LGBT protagonists, wanting to honor a community that deserves better representation.

A recently passed New Jersey law requires schools to include LGBT history in their curriculum. (Editor’s Note: In California, the similar FAIR Education Act went into effect in 2012.)

The Garden State is only the second in the union—behind California— to pass legislation of this kind. Advocates for similar laws purport that exploring the vast contributions LGBT people have made to the country will lessen the high instances of bul-

The Pansy Craze is a pivotal, yet oft overlooked, period in the late 1920s to early 1930s. Gay clubs and drag balls were commonplace, and celebrated, in major U.S. cities. The popularity of these queer establishments facilitated an acceptance that LGBT people would struggle for decades to regain.

Not only is this time not acknowledged in schools, but also, it is barely covered in literature, magazines or the arts. It is time to shed light on a period that some would like to keep shrouded in darkness.

In the City by the Lake The historical fiction novel In the City by the Lake seeks to illuminate life on the brink of revolution. Appropriately, In the City by the Lake was written by former high school teacher turned author Taylor Saracen. She has always loved to write, believing that life has the possibility to be its most beautiful when it’s portrayed on the pages of a book. Feeling the need to cre-

While remembering the past is part of the remedy, the means to present it in a generally consumable way is imperative. Through the arts, advocates like Saracen can reach a broader audience, thereby expanding the understanding of times that might otherwise be forgotten.

Taylor Saracen lives in Scottsdale, Arizona, where she is a wonderful mother to her 3-year-old twins, a hard worker for 13 Red Media, and a rather adequate wife. For more information: https://amzn.to/2uPNrgN Michele Karlsberg Marketing and Management specializes in publicity for the LGBTQI community. This year, Karlsberg celebrates 31 years of successful book campaigns.

Take Me Home with You! Reba

“My name is Reba! I’m a little bit country, not so much rock and roll—I prefer life on the quieter side. My favorite things in the world are snuggling, purring and playtime. I was found as a stray, and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life in a loving home. Maybe you’re my match!?” All cats 7+ years old, like Reba, are free to adopt!

Reba is presented to San Francisco Bay Times readers by Dr. Jennifer Scarlett, the SF SPCA’s CoPresident. Our thanks also go to Krista Maloney for helping to get the word out about lovable pets like Reba.

To meet Reba, as well as other pets seeking their forever homes, please visit: San Francisco SPCA Mission Campus 250 Florida Street San Francisco, CA 94103 415-522-3500 Aside from major holidays, the adoption center is open Mon–Fri: 1–6 pm and Sat–Sun: 10 am–5 pm. Free parking is available for those wishing to adopt!

Dr. Jennifer Scarlett and Pup

For more information: https://www.sfspca.org/adoptions

YOU TOO CAN BE A WINNER! 24

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Subscribe to the San Francisco Bay Times e-mail list: https://bit.ly/2XDNnh7 Subscribers enter the REPLY TO WIN! online competition for a chance to win event tickets, services and products we announce.

Lisbet h Tellefsen, Ericka Huggins and Cheryl Ward at Rock the CASA 2019

Patr ik Gallineaux and Gary Virginia at Academy of Friends 2019

Ted Maylath, Joh n Chen, Clayton Lepak and Westo n Hartman at Beach Blanket Ba bylon

NATIONAL POETRY MONTH Celebrated each April since 1996, National Poetry Month is organized by the Academy of American Poets. It is the largest literary collaboration of schools, publishers, libraries, booksellers, readers, and, yes, poets. Check out their website ( https://www.poets.org/national-poetry-month/home ) for 30 Ways to Celebrate NPM. My favorite is #7: Buy a book of poetry from your local bookstore.

Poet in Residence Kit Kennedy Kit Kennedy is the Poet-inResidence of the “San Francisco Bay Times” and at herchurch Ebenezer Lutheran, herchurch.org She has published 5 poetry collections, and for the past several years she has hosted the poetry series at Gallery Café. For more information, please visit her blog: http://poetrybites.blogspot.com

Stacy Boorn, Photographer

IRISES When you study an iris, what are you experiencing? Flower, name, song, passion, faith, courage, fleur-de-lis, purple butterfly?

A single iris silhouetted wears the refinement of a tuxedo.

When an iris is tight in the bud, you hold a paintbrush dipped in purple.

Unfurled, pollen tracks explode with the desire to satiate.

One petal, a lush meditation.

All the wisdom, lovers need.

Yes, the iris is the messenger-goddess of the rainbow. Tell me, are you someone for whom “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” is a promise, a plea, torch song?

The iris brings the eye, light.

How grateful I am for my irises seeing your irises. This afternoon I place two stems in a crystal vase: elegant & intimate.

by Kit Kennedy

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SISTER DANA (continued from page 15) Sister Dana sez, “Given what’s going on in the White House and the uptick in hate crimes against the LGBTQ community and the murder rate in the trans community, we desperately need the EQUALITY ACT!” SAN FRANCISCO GAY MEN’S CHORUS presented THE BRITS ARE COMING! on March 22 in Davies Symphony Hall. Accompanied by a five-piece band, SFGMC took us on a glorious journey through the colorful and varied British songbook. We heard a funny British announcement: “In case of emergency, please locate your Brexit.” The (drag) Queen of England marched out with her three (stuffed animal) Corgis on her long, long train. She welcomed us “commoners.” Naturally the Chorus had to sing “God Save the Queen,” but at the final chorus, they added an extra “s.” For Scotland, they sang “Loch Lomond.”

For Ireland, they sang “Danny Boy.” There was a brilliant performance from Shakespeare ‘s Richard the Second by the AFRICAN-AMERICAN SHAKESPEARE COMPANY. For humor, Robin Hood and his Mary ... er ... Merry Men led the Chorus with the hilariously gay “Men in Tights,” while dancing, high kicking, and swishing away. Getting more modern, SFGMC sang “Hey Jude.” And to really stimulate us and getting us to clap and stomp, they did Queen’s “We Will Rock You” and “We Are the Champions.” After intermission, SFGMC sang Adele’s melancholic “Rumor Has It” and “Someone Like You.” They sang from the iconic Sunset Boulevard. They poked fun at Cats with dancers in cat costumes. Among the last songs, they

MILLER (continued from page 9)

sang George Michael’s “Freedom 90;” the tongue in cheek Monty Python classic “Every Sperm is Sacred” with dancers dressed like semen; and a finale of various British artists. It was a marvelous evening of memorable music and mischievous humor.

Sister Dana sez, “This is not an APRIL FOOL’S joke. No fooling!

Check out these upcoming April events!”

April 1 thru April 28, NO STIGMA/NO SHAME: Ramon Vidali’s early Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence portraits will be on display at STRUT’s 2nd floor gallery, 470 Castro Street.

The SFAF sponsored free OPENING NIGHT reception is Friday, April 5, 8–10 pm. https://www.strutsf.org/ OPENHOUSE LGBTStr8 Senior Housing presents their annual BRUNCH GALA AND AFTER-PARTY TEA DANCE at the Ritz-Carlton, 600 Stockton Street on Sunday, April 7, 11 am to 5 pm. This lovely afternoon event features top LGBTQ speakers, awardees and talented performers. https://bit.ly/2I5M7Ou PEACHES CHRIST PRODUCTIONS proudly presents THE FIRST WIVES FIGHT CLUB, a live musical parody mash-up of ‘90s film classics: The First Wives Club and Fight Club, starring Raja, Brooke Lynn Hytes, Ginger Minj and Peaches Christ. Sunday, April 7, 4 pm and 8 pm at the Castro Theatre. www.peacheschrist.com

SFFILM announced that the 2019 SAN FRANCISCO INTERNATIONAL FILM FESTIVAL will kick off with the World Premiere of Netflix’s new original series, ARMISTEAD MAUPIN’S TALES OF THE CITY, Wednesday, April 10, 7 pm at the Castro Theatre.https://bit. ly/2Ubl9ft DEATHTRAP, the Classic Killer Comedy Thriller written by Ira Levin, runs now through April 13, Wednesdays–Saturdays, 8 pm; Saturday matinees, 3 pm at The Gateway Theatre (formerly Eureka), 215 Jackson Street. Playwright Sidney Bruhl needs a hit, desperately. Is he willing to kill to get it? Will his wife help him? How far will their nerve take them? And what will handsome Cliff’s reaction be when he finds out? Check it out, and you’ll find out! http://therhino.org/buy-tickets/ SF LGBT CENTER presents SOIREE 2019 on Saturday, April 13, 5–11:30 pm at Terra Gallery, 511 Harrison Street. Juanita MORE! returns as Entertainment Director. LadyRyan debuts as Party DJ! Dancing and Open Bar! https://bit.ly/2Um4IfU Sister Dana sez, “The Trump Administration is asking the U.S. Court of Appeals to completely invalidate Obama’s Affordable Care Act with nothing to replace it. T-Rump, you are a monster!”

Save the date: April 14, 6–9 pm for INVESTITURE of The Community's Court of Marvel, History, Re-Connection, and Fun at CALLE-11sf, 1501 Folsom Street. You loved the Corona-

ROSTOW (continued from page 11) Did you read about the bits and pieces of Garfield the cat telephones that have been washing up on the coast of Brittany for the last 30 odd years?

The orange plastic flotsam has drifted ashore continually since the mid1980s, mystifying local beachcombers. Sometimes whole phones appear, sometimes just eyes or cords or dials.

Often the debris was in pretty good condition. Last year, at least 200 Garfield phone parts were recovered on the Breton coast, and that was average.

Now, at long last, an old container has been discovered trapped in a cave that is mostly underwater depending on the tides. The container is now almost empty, but it’s clear that it once held a shipment of Garfield phones that gradually escaped the box, churned out to sea and returned to litter the rocky shores. Mystery solved!

The story reminds me of the dismembered human feet, encased in shoes or sneakers, that keep appearing on the coast of Canada. What’s that about?

Over the last ten or 12 years, some 20 human feet have been discovered around Vancouver Island and British Columbia, and many of them have been identified. Apparently, a lot of people drown. Their remains are eat-

en or whatever, but their feet survive because of the shoes. The shoes, with feet enclosed, then surf around the jet stream or whatever current is frothing around up there, and they wind up on the beach. I know, I know. Not relevant to our community subject matter. But nonetheless interesting, don’t you think?

Time to Exit Brexit By the way, I could argue that there’s something inherently gay about Garfield the cat telephones, but I won’t go there. Instead, speaking of strange doings in the English Channel, have any of you figured out what’s going on with Brexit? My wife and I barely understood the “backstop” issue.

Yes, it was clear that the border between Northern Ireland and Ireland would be a problem. But what exactly was meant by the term “backstop?”

It had something to do with the fear that Britain would be tied indefinitely to the European customs union unless there was some certainty about what would happen to the internal Irish borders. Or something.

Then there was the separation between the withdrawal proposal and the future relationship with Europe.

Then there are these odd new deadlines, April 12 is now the deadline if Parliament agrees to the Prime Min-

QUEER POP QUIZ ANSWER (Question on page 21)

B) Ty Herndon Ty Herndon told People magazine, “[My family] has seen me struggle with being gay my whole career.”

When asked if his two ex-wives knew of his sexuality, Herndon confirmed that they “absolutely” knew.

ister’s deal, but if not, the deadline is sometime in May and Britain will be forced to participate in European elections. But meanwhile, the Prime Minister’s deal has failed over and over again, so what the hell? And the Parliament itself can’t find a majority for anything, while six million citizens have petitioned for a new vote, and yet that’s been voted down by Parliament as well.

And I read somewhere that millions of lambs might be slaughtered and destroyed. Say it ain’t so!

Then there’s the overarching question of why anyone thought Britain would be better off acting on its own, a small island nation where the sun indeed sets every night around seven or eight Greenwich time unless you count Bermuda. What great bilateral trade deals are they going to get?

Oh, none, although the EU will continue to get great trade deals because they’re a gigantic united trading bloc.

And how about all of the money the Brits will save after the international corporations and manufacturers depart and the European businesses move over to Amsterdam?

What idiocy, and it’s all thanks to nationalism, populism, sentimental, uneducated right-wing senior citizens and a fake news barrage compliments of Putin and company. Please, Britain. Hold another referendum. Cancel Brexit and we’ll unseat Trump and the Western Alliance will live happily ever after.

This little tirade has used up the rest of my energies and left no room for a discussion of Chick-fil-A (back in our black books), marriage equality on the Cayman Islands (cue sound of old fashioned jackpot), Tim Hardaway (can we forgive him for something mean he said back in 2007?), and the anti-trans ruling from the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Fifth Circuit (enough said). arostow@aol.com

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You may be familiar with the good works and shenanigans of us Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence and our iconic headdresses, but did you know that the Sisters have houses across the world? Join the SISTERS OF PERPETUAL INDULGENCE for our opening reception of W.O.W 40 YEARS OF HABITS, an exhibition celebrating the unique World of Wimples—coronets and wimples (headdresses) worn by Sisters world-wide. The W.O.W exhibit will run April 17 through May 11 at the Harvey Milk Photo Center, 50 Scott Street. A free reception will be held at the Center on April 17 from 5–8:30 pm. http://harveymilkphotocenter.org/ At the same place and date, you can experience a free reception at 7 pm for SPI AT 40: THROUGH THE LENS OF OUR COMMUNITY. This is an exhibition of photography from the Archive Collection of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence.

Sister Dana sez, “I’m really disappointed with the initial Mueller report, but in the words of Rep. Eric Swalwell: ‘No summaries. Show us the FULL report Mueller sent over. Every word. Every comma. Every period.’ Absolutely. Period!” #MuellerReport

on any specific security. The material is presented solely for information purposes and has been gathered from sources believed to be reliable, however Brio cannot guarantee the accuracy or completeness of such information, and certain information presented here may have been condensed or summarized from its original source. Brio does not provide tax or legal advice, and nothing contained in these materials should be taken as such. To determine which investment may be appropriate for you, consult your financial advisor prior to investing.

As always please remember investing involves risk and possible loss of principal capital; please seek advice from a licensed professional.

Brio Financial Group is a Registered Investment Adviser. SEC Registration does not constitute an endorsement of Brio by the SEC nor does it indicate that Brio has attained a particular level of skill or ability. Advisory services are only offered to clients or prospective clients where Brio Financial Group and its representatives are properly licensed or exempt from licensure. No advice may be rendered by Brio Financial Group unless a client service agreement is in place.

Brandon Miller, CFP® is a financial consultant at Brio Financial Group in San Francisco, specializing in helping LGBT individuals and families plan and achieve their financial goals.

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tion, now you can enjoy the official installation of their Imperial Majesties, Emperor Terrill Grimes Munro & Empress BabyShaques Munro. All hail the Emperor and Empress!

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lation and housing insecurity and to increase the overall health and wellness of long-term survivors and other seniors living with HIV. Vince Crisostomo, Program Manager of SFAF’s 50+ Network and Chair of the San Francisco Department of Aging and Adult Services’ HIV and Aging Work Group, has been living with HIV for more than three decades. His 50+ program, as well as the other services at SFAF, will now have the resources to grow.

Crisostomo has been a strong, clear and persistent voice for social and mental health services, and for more public as well as private funding for his community.

3. Shanti Project, Inc., provides a continuum of services for people living with HIV/AIDS. The agency will receive $700,000 in funding over three years to expand capacity of existing programs, specifically to assist people in navigating and managing services and to help people access Shanti services that provide emotional and practical peer support. In an email correspondence with Shanti’s Executive Director, Kaushik Roy, he expressed his gratitude for the breadth of services funded by Gilead’s Age Positively to “help ensure this key segment of our community has all the tools they need to thrive.”

4. UCSF’s Golden Compass program at SF General Hospital will receive $750,000 in funding over 3 years.

Dr. Meredith Greene, Golden Compass Associate Medical Director, wrote to me that “the funding will be used to expand existing services.

We will be rolling out more comprehensive screenings for cardiopulmonary disease to older adults, expand the reach of our geriatric screenings along with particular attention to addressing falls, and expand mental health and substance abuse screenings. We will also be able to hire additional staff to help with the implementation of the project. Gile-

ad funding will also strengthen our link to our community partners and co-applicant, PRC, a San Francisco agency that specializes in providing social services and legal assistance to people living with HIV/AIDS, substance abuse or mental health issues.”

I asked Brian Bassinger, long-term survivor and the founder and Executive Director of Q Foundation, a San Francisco housing organization that prevents homelessness in the LGBTQ and HIV communities, for his thoughts on the Gilead initiative. He replied, “Gilead is making smart and strategic investments in the health and well-being of the community.

But there is room to do more. I hope in the future they will also include separate funding for housing for aging people with HIV/AIDS.” Gilead’s initiative is as broad as it is thoughtful. The seeding of new national institutions and programs along with deep investments in much needed services gives me hope in the development of a robust infrastructure of resources capable of effectively responding to the ever changing and evolving needs of an aging community. That level of impact could be possible, given that the Gilead initiative is such a big, bold step.

Dr. Marcy Adelman, Co-founder of the nonprofit Openhouse, oversees the Aging in Community column.

She is a psychologist and LGBTQI longevity advocate and policy advisor. She serves on the California Commission on Aging, the Board of the Alzheimer’s Association of Northern California and Northern Nevada and the San Francisco Dignity Fund Oversight and Advisory Committee.

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Ramon Pablo Vidali’s portraits of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence will be on display at Strut, 470 Castro Street, in honor of the Sisters’ 40th Anniversary. https://bit.ly/2ODSSbw

CALENDAR OF UPCOMING EVENTS http://sfbaytimes.com/

4 Thursday Lambda Legal San Francisco Soirée @ The Pearl, 601 19th Street. Now in its 45th year, Lambda Legal presents its annual benefit where you are sure to find a lot of LGBT lawyers and those who love them. 6-10pm. http://www.lambdalegal.org Castro Art Walk @ Castro District Locations. A neighborhood art walk held monthly on the first Thursday of each month at multiple hosting locations. 6-9pm.

Castro Art Walk on Facebook.com

5 Friday Castro on Canvas: The Art of Ramon Pablo Vidali @ Strut, 470 Castro Street. The Art program at Strut will present an opening reception for the new exhibit of work by Ramon Pablo Vidali. Also celebrated will be the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence 40th Anniversary during the month of April. 8-10pm. http://www.strutsf.com Opening Night of Theatre Rhino Pop-Up Production of Trade @ Spark Arts Gallery, 4229 8th Street. The play by Mark O’Halloran presents an encounter between a closeted middle-aged

man and the young man he hires for company. 8pm continuing through April 14. http://www.therhino.org

6 Saturday Dykes with Drills: The Tiny House Edition @ Petaluma Location. A group of builders inclusive of gender non-conforming, trans people and allies, the Dykes with Drills will tour tiny houses, work on interiors and exteriors along with beginner tool training followed by a visit to Brew for drinks and conversation. 10am-4pm. http://www.dykeswithdrills.com Stories to Inspire: Rosie the Riveter Trust Annual Dinner @ Berkeley Country Club, 7901 Cutting Blvd, El Cerrito. Special guest speaker Jonathan Jarvis, former director of the National Park Service, will be on hand along with Park rangers who will bring updates on the latest Park programs.

5:30pm cocktails and 7pm dinner. http://www.rosietheriveter.org Artist Eileen P. Goldenberg @ West Portal Art Stroll, Toast Restaurant, West Portal Avenue.

Meet the artist and enjoy her work, including porcelain, sketches and more. 10am-5pm. Continues on Sunday, April 7. http://www.goldenbergdesigns.com

SPCA Saturday Springtime Events: Puppy Playgroup and Human-Directed Aggression Seminar @ SFSPCA Pacific Heights, 2343 Fillmore Street. The series of Saturday offerings continues. 10am and 11;30am. https:// events.sfspca.org/pacificheights The Return of Mark Foehringer’s Alice in Wonderland @ Cowell Theater, Fort Mason Center. Inspired by Lewis Carroll’s Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, the production is the second season of the Mark Foehringer Dance Project/SF’s adaptation of the children’s classic for current times for all ages. 11am and 2pm through April 14. http:// www.mfdpsf.org/alice

7 Sunday Openhouse Spring Fling Brunch & Tea Dance After Party @ The Ritz-Carlton, 600 Stockton Street. This popular annual event includes the opportunity to mingle with top LGBTQ philanthropists and business leaders, along with awardees. 11am-5pm. http://www.openhouse.org Drag Mashup First Wives Fight Club @ Castro Theatre, 429 Castro Street. The world premiere of a live musical parody mash-up of 90s classics starring Raja, Brook Lynn Hutes, Ginger Minj and Peaches Christ. 4pm and 8pm. http://www.peacheschrist.com

8 Monday Pubquiz at Virgil’s Sea Room @ 3152 Mission Street. Hosted by The Big Queer Pubquiz, the event includes five rounds of quizzes based on general knowledge and current events, with a surprise theme round, a this-or-that guessing game, a music round and the Powernerd Challenge; free drinks and weird prizes. 7:30-9:30pm. http://www.virgilssf.com VisibiliT Dance Party Benefit @ The Knockout, 3223 Mission Street. A fundraiser and awareness event for trans womxn asylum seekers produced by the First Friday at Elbo Room crew. 10pm-1am. Join the Movement Global on Facebook

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Compiled by Blake Dillon honors first responders in anticipation of the 113th Anniversary of the Great San Francisco 1906 Earthquake. 5:30-7:30pm http://www.ggba.com

lesser-known stories. http://www.museum.org

Light in the Water Benefit Screening @ Kabuki Theater, 1881 Post Street. Supporting the International Federation of Gay Games, the film chronicles the evolution of West Hollywood Aquatics, the first openly gay masters swim team. 7:30pm. https://gathr.us/screening/28561

World On Fire @ California Jazz Conservatory, 2040 Addison Street, Berkeley. A poetry-music theatre work about climate change and related challenges by Naomi Newman, Barbara Borden and Suzanne DiVincenzo and directed by Corey Fischer. 8pm. https://bit.ly/2VgdUPZ

Alvin Ailey Dance Theater @ Zellerbach Auditorium, 101 Zellerbach Hall #4800, Berkeley.

Celebrating its 50-years of appearances at Cal Performances, the acclaimed dance company brings a series of works, varying nightly, through April 14. http://www.calperformances.org

Boy Division/Glitter Party! @ Cat Club SF, 1190 Folsom Street.

The second annual Glitter Party is an all-night dance experience and more. 9pm-3am. http://www.sfcatclub.com

10 Wednesday Castro/Upper Market Community Business District Meeting @ 693 14th Street. Meet with property owners, managers and brokers for wine and hors d’oeuvres and a discussion on the role of CBD. 6-7:30pm. executivedirector@castrocbd.org Armistead Maupin’s Tales of the City @ Castro Theatre, 429 Castro Street. The new Netflix series debuts as the Opening Night film for the SF International Film Festival with a post-screening interview with author Maupin and star Laura Linney. 7pm. http://www.sffilm.org

11 Thursday Brain & Body Nightlife @ GLBT History Museum, 4127 18th Street.. Explore the fascinating science of human health and wellness from the perspective of neuroscience + human health. This event is one in the ongoing NightLife series that includes themed activities, lectures and live performances. 6pm. http://www.glbthistory.org

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Queer Slam! @ SF LGBT Center, 1800 Market Street. Queer poets and storytellers will share their stories at this event; presented by SF LGBT Center, Spectrum Queer Media, Safe Zone and Kin Folkz.

6-8:30pm. http://www.sfcenter.org

GGBA Make Contact Honors LGBTQ & Allied First Responders @ Dirty Habit Restaurant, Hotel Zelos, 12 4th Street at Market. Special guest Anne Kronenberg will be on hand as the Golden Gate Business Association

Queer California: Untold Stories Party @ Oakland Museum of California, 1000 Oak Street. A special opening celebration for OMCA’s major multifaceted exhibition depicting milestones in LGBTQ+ culture with

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13 Saturday Opening Day for Queer Stories Reign Supreme Exhibit @ Oakland Museum of California, 1000 Oak Street. The four-month exhibition includes historical materials, artifacts and archival documents along with examples of social activism, contemporary artwork, costumes and ephemera. http://www.museumca.org SF LGBT Center Soirée Dinner & Party @ Terra Gallery, 511 Harrison Street. This annual event, featuring Juanita MORE!, Katya Smirnoff Skyy, DJ Lady Ryan and more, is a benefit for The Center and its important programs.

Dinner 5:30pm/Party 8:30pm. http:///www.sfcenter.org/soiree2019 Poetry Reading @ Works in Progress, Open Mic for Women, Plymouth Jazz & Justice Church, 424 Monte Vista, Oakland. Elaine C. Brown and Kelliane Parker will be the featured poets in the program (7:30pm) following a potluck (6:30pm). steckeljan@gmail.com

14 Sunday Sunday’s A Drag @ The Starlight Room, Powell Street.

Hosted by Donna Sachet, the event features a brunch and a troupe of entertainers. Described as “The Greatest Drag Show in San Francisco,” we agree that it is great!

Every Sunday at 11am. http://www.startlightroomsf.com Remembering James @ The Palace Theatre, 644 Broadway.

The show, accompanied by a sixpiece band, tells the story of The Godfather of Soul, James Brown, from his early days through nearly two decades. 4pm & 7pm. http://www.boxcartheatre.org

15 Monday Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence Anniversary Celebration @ Strut, 470 Castro Street. The event will include blessings, celebrations and the exhibition “No Stigma/No Shame” presenting Ramon Vidali’s portraits of early sisters in the Castro from the John Lough Collection. 7-9pm. http://www.strutsf.org

16 Tuesday Smart Drinking Group @ Strut, 3rd Floor, 470 Castro Street.

A weekly drop-in group with no requirements and all goals supported. 6-7:30pm. http://www.strutsf.org

17 Wednesday Intercollegiate GALA Mix & Mingle with the LGBT Asylum Project @ Manny’s, 3092 16th Street. Alumni and friends will mix and mingle with Asylum Project representatives. The group will then go to the Victoria Theater for a screening of Unsettled: Seeking Refuge in America in the SF International Film Festival. 5:30 mingle, 7:30 movie screening. https://bit.ly/2YHlVQ6 Vanity Fair @ A.C.T.’s Geary Theater, 415 Geary Street . A colorful adaptation of William Makepeace Thackery’s satire of 19th century British society. 8pm Through April 26. http://www.act-sf.org P!nk: Beautiful Trauma World Tour @ SPA Center at San Jose. The diva brings her world tour to the Bay Area. 7:30pm. http://www.ticketmaster.com.

18 Thursday 113th Anniversary of the Great San Francisco Earthquake and Fire of 1906 @ Lotta’s Fountain and the Golden Fire Hydrant at 20th and Church Streets. The annual early morning ceremony will be held followed by a procession to visit and paint the Golden Hydrant. A Safety Fair on preparedness will be held at Oracle Park. 5:12am ceremony/9am-4pm Safety Fair.

April Show Us Your Spines @ James C. Hormel LGBTQIA Center, 3rd Floor, 100 Larkin Street. Join writers Dan Lau, Ajuan Mance, Roberto Rodriguez-Estrada and Shelley Wong in a discussion of what they have learned in a month of research. 6-7:30pm. http://www.sfpl.org HRC SF - April Happy Hour for Equality @ Lookout, 3600 16th Street. A mix and mingle with HRC members, volunteers and community leaders. 6-8pm. http://www.hrc.org

19 Friday 21st Annual Madam C.J. Walker Luncheon and Empowerment Forum @ Marriott Marquis, 780 Mission Street. Author and White House correspondent April Ryan is the keynote speaker at the National Coalition of 100 Black Women’s annual event. 8:30am-3pm. https://bit.ly/2UdtRtV 50th Anniversary Screening of Midnight Cowboy @ SF MOMA, 151 Third Street. Special guests will include Michael Childers, who assisted his partner director John Schleslinger in creating this modern classic film. 8:45pm. https://bit.ly/2FLgcQD S AN F R ANC IS C O BAY T IM ES

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Round About - All Over Town Spring Continues!

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An Easter egg wreath with cherry blossoms symbolically merges two spring holidays in the window at One Half gift store on Polk Street.

An Easter character in the window of Terasol gift store on Polk Street At Terasol gift store on Polk Street a lovely bunny sits in the display window with her basket and a pointed-nose character in a bunny suit at her feet.

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n some photos, smiles looked strained, with the subjects trying too hard to seem happier than they actually are in the moment. This image taken by San Francisco Bay Times photographer Rink in 1984 is not such a photo. There is pure, unmistakable joy on the faces of Tales of the City author Armistead Maupin (right) and Stephen Beery, who was Harvey Milk’s last boyfriend and a best friend of Maupin’s. The ease in their stances suggests that the two men enjoyed many such pleasurable moments together.

Beery was the grandson of actor Wallace Beery (1885–1949), who won the Academy Award for Best Actor for his titular role in The Champ (1931). Stephen, whom friends called “Steve,” was as charismatic, if not more so, than his famous grandfather. An author, he contributed to The Advocate, Vanity Fair, Interview, the San Francisco Chronicle and the 1990 antholog y Personal Dispatches: Writers Confront AIDS. Beery died from complications of HIV/AIDS on July 15, 1993, at the age of 40.

Beery was known for his enormous collection of comic books, and particularly those concerning Batman. He bequeathed his comics collection to the University of Michigan. ( http://comics.lib.msu. edu/rri/brri/batman.htm ).

Faux fur clad guests enjoyed the fun at Sha’ar Zahav’s Purim “Gender Schmear” Party at Oasis.

Rabbi Mychal Copeland and Emcee Lady SinAGaga at Sha’ar Zahav’s Purim “Gender Schmear” Party at Oasis on March 23.

Costumed guests enjoyed the Purim “Gender Schmear” Party at Oasis Lounge sponsored by Sha’ar Zahav.

Rabbi Mychal Copeland (right) welcomed guests to the Purim “Gender Schmear Party at Oasis on March 23.

Emcee Lady SinAGaga received a tip tribute from DJ Jimmy Strano during the Purim “Gender Schmear” Party at Oasis.

Milk loved Beery’s playful side. Beery would even sometimes dress as Batman’s sidekick Robin, with Milk saying to him: “Hop on my back, Boy Wonder, and I’ll fly you to Gotham City.” They spent the night together on the Friday before Milk was murdered. Beery learned about the tragedy on the following Monday morning from a coworker who had heard the news on the radio. At Milk’s memorial service, held at the Opera House, Beery sat next to Maupin—both men consumed by grief.

“For the next fifteen years,” Maupin later wrote for Towleroad, “Steve would be my closest friend, forging a life for himself as an activist and a writer.

Like so many of the young men who marched in Harvey’s army, he never quite reached middle age, never got to pass on his wisdom. AIDS robs us of more than life; it erases a universe of collective memories and hard-earned experience.”

We are grateful for photos like this one, however, that preserve treasured moments of the past and capture at least some of the essence of sweet souls like Beery, who perhaps helped to inspire the character Michael Tolliver in Tales of the City.

Nicknamed “Mouse,” Tolliver was portrayed as caring and very devoted to his friends.

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A guest was ready to enjoy the traditional holiday treat known as Hamentashen during the Purim “Gender Schmear” Party hosted by Sha’ar Zahav at Oasis on March 23.

Jolene’s co-founder Shannon Amitin (left) and Tom Temprano were on hand at Jolene’s on March 28 for two overlapping parties.

Jenna Rapues and Francis Tsang enjoyed the Out After Work Mixer hosted by LGBTQ City and County workers at Jolene’s on March 28.

Bartender Jasmine Johnson serves a drink to Harvey Milk Club’s Stephen Torres during the dual event parties on March 28 held at Jolene’s, the new bar in the Mission. Simultaneous celebrations were enjoyed by LGBTQ City & County employees during their “Out After Work” mixer; and members of the Harvey Milk LGBT Democratic Club who were celebrating a Women’s History Month party.

Xristina Blioux, Maceo Persson, Pau Crego and Sierra Loya were on hand at Jolene’s for the “Out After Work” mixer on March 28.

Service dog Chief, shown here on the red carpet at the Berlin & Beyond Film Festival, was incorrectly identified as a “pet” in our previous issue. The role of Chief as a service dog is conveyed in a film by the same name about his training by and assistance to his owner Sonja Ohldag, who is a German immigrant.

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A lifelike bunny in the window at One Half gift store is on display along with a colorful egg tree.

A unique ceramic Easter themed table topper, in the display window at One Half gift store, features a bunny emerging from her cabbage with a carrot in hand.

An Easter rabbit with attitude rules over the display window of Terasol gift store on Polk Street.

http://sfbaytimes.com/

Actress Desiree M. Rogers collected contributions from theatergoers at the Opening Night of Theatre Rhino’s Deathtrap on March 24.

items of the week

Cast members, including co-director John Fisher, Anne Hallinan, Randy Solomon, Jake Soss and Desiree M. Rogers, were joined by Theatre Rhino staff and board members at the Opening Night of Deathtrap proudced at the Gateway Theatre. The show continues through April 13. http://www.theatrerhino.org

Chive This truly is our new Chive favorite: Liberte, with its classical almost Oriental style finish.

One minute it seems you’re having a picnic in China, the next you’re in Wonderland having tea with Alice and her friends!

FoxFarm FoxFarm is a family owned soil and fertilizer company. They were born out of a desire to supply organic and microbe rich environments for growers of all kinds.

FoxFarm takes great pride in remaining a renowned independent garden supplier, in a world rife with conglomerate buyouts.

Co-director and actor John Fisher looked radiant at the opening night of Theatre Rhino’s production of Deathtrap at the Gateway Theatre on March 24.

Artist Lenore Chinn was a panelist at the GLBT History Museum’s Fighting Back Series event entitled “The L and the GBTQ: Visibility, Leadership and Political Power” panel.

Political activist and entertainer Alex U. Inn served on the panel for the “Fight Back: The L and the GBTQ: Visibility, Leadership and Political Power” panel at the GBLT History Museum.

(Left to Right) Artist and activist Lenore Chinn, tech coordinator Michelle Skoor, and activist Alex U. Inn, with moderator Leigh Pfeffer, presented a panel discussion at the GLBT History Museum’s Fight Back Series: The L and the GBTQ:Visibility, Leadership and Political Power.

Note from Terry Asten Bennett:

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s many of you know, my father, Ernie Asten, passed away on March 15th after a 14 year battle with MSA. We would like to invite you all to join us for a grand celebration of his life as we march to a New Orleans style Jazz band through the Castro on Sunday, April 14th. We will be meeting at 19th and Collingwood at 2pm and marching to Jane Warner Plaza. If you would like to speak about Ernie please contact Terry@cliffsvariety.com

As Heard on the Street . . . What do you think about a new series based on Armistead Maupin’s “Tales of the City”?

compiled by Rink

Jasmine Johnson

Marko Serpas

Desiree M. Rogers

Stephanie Neiman

David Spero

“I’m excited to see it, but definitely stoked to see Ellen Page! Such a babe!”

“My hope for the upcoming series is that it more accurately captures the essential joy in the character’s lives from Maupin’s book.”

“I have enjoyed ‘Tales of the City’ for years, and the new series should be amazing.”

“Yes, I read ‘Tales of the City’ when I was 14 years old, and I thought it was exciting.”

“I have enjoyed ‘Tales of the City’ for years.”

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