Page 1

Weddings, Anniversaries & Occasions ~ Pages 2-3

July 25-August 7, 2013 | www.sfbaytimes.com

/SanFranciscoBayTimes

/SFBayTimes

Champions for Humanity

P HOTO COURTESY OF CHI ODO ART DEVE LOPM EN T

Oakland’s Peace Monument

See Special Centerfold ~ Pages 10-11

Remember Them by Mario Chiodo Remember them when you walk with freedom.

Remember them when you know you can.

Remember them when you think of liberty.

Remember them when it is difficult to see the good.

Remember them when your children get on the school bus. Remember them while you sleep without fear. Remember them when you are hungry or lonely. Remember them when you thirst for knowledge. Remember them when you cannot see the light or hear the birds sing. Remember them when you are lost and need hope. Remember them when others say, “You cannot . . . ”

Remember them when those less fortunate come your way. Remember them when someone is unkind. Remember them - forgive and be compassionate. Remember them when you see injustices. Remember them and know your voice can be heard. Remember them and stand up for what is right. Remember them and know that we are all equal.

Remember them and know that our children become what they see. Remember them and know that your actions determine history. Remember them and know that obstacles are really opportunities. Remember them and know the greatest success often comes from failure. Remember them and know you have so much to give. Remember them and walk the path of peace. Remember them and never give up. Remember them and reach for the stars.


Editor’s Note: Welcome to the second edition of our Weddings, Anniversar ies & Occasions section . Inquire your social announcement can appear free of charge, or your wedding ser vices ad can be included at a special Publisher@sfbaytimes.com or 415-601-2113.

new how how rate:

Weddings, Anniversaries & Occasions

Rev. Elizabeth River officiating the marriage of Kathy and Marcy. Congratulations to the new couple!

Weddings Reverend Elizabeth River It is the season for weddings! Let us celebrate the long-awaited and courageously won legal decision that finally brings freedom to ALL people to MARRY, with all the rights and privileges and respect attached to this sacred (and legal) event! Let us honor all the people who have fought for justice over many, many years to reach this time in history. I believe we are slowly, sometimes painfully, creating an all-inclusive beloved communit y in our state and in our whole American culture where all people are treated equally, able to enter into a mutually loving covenant with the person they love, blessed by all and sanctioned by the state.

Weddings are one of the great joys of my life. I love helping couples discover the essence of their relationship, their beliefs about marriage, and their visions for their future in committed relationship. In the course of working with couples I, of course, have the great joy of hearing their stories! What a gift this is! I mean, what is life but our stories?!

union. The more deeply they share with one another what is personal and precious, the stronger and more intimate their marriage becomes. These are the core beliefs in the center of my wedding ministry:

I also like weddings that help tell a story, in a way: the stories of the two souls who have come together, found their true mate and are now taking the very signif icant step of taking vows that bind them together for all time. The wedding is just the beginning of the rest of their story.

There is tremendous, miraculous power in ma k ing vows to share one’s life journey, eternally, with another.

As an interfaith minister, I get to co-create weddings, commitment ceremonies, and renewal of vows ceremonies w ith people from all backgrounds, both relig ious and secular. We are all certainly spiritual creatures, and deciding to marry brings out people’s deepest spirituality. It is, therefore, easy to help people craft weddings that ref lect this as they reveal their passions, their visions, and their love. W hen t wo people m a r r y, t he y each bring their unique spirituality to the relationship. As their love and commitment grow, they are creating a union of these two distinct spiritual paths—an interfaith

There is a sacredness in the covenant of marriage and committed partnership.

Thank you for reading the wedd i ng pages i n t he Bay T im es! I look forward to bringing you further thoughts on marriage, telling stories about some of the couples I’ve served and some of the weddings I’ve done, as well as others’ thoughts on marriage as well. So let me end with a quotation: Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of the Universe. But let t here be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. — Khalil Gibran in The Prophet Rev. Elizabeth River is an ordained Interfaith Minister based in the North Bay. For more information, please visit www. marincoastweddings.com

Playing the Orson Scott Card: Why I Won’t Go See Ender’s Game ately sought Narnia. On the carport I bravely battled garbage can Daleks. I escaped the pain of feeling intensely different from family and peers, and of being an outsider in the world in which I lived, by retreating into these genres and the worlds they opened up.

Marriage Equality Thom Watson As a sensitive and lonely gay kid in rural Virginia, science f iction and fantasy were my gateway to a world of endless possibilities and brighter futures. My favorite childhood friends and places included Corwin, Amber and the Courts of Chaos; Milo, Tock and the lands beyond the phantom tollbooth; Bilbo, Frodo and the realms of M idd le Ea r t h- a mong my r iad others. To the woods behind my house, with handmade communicator and tricorder, I boldly went to seek out new life forms. In the wardrobe downstairs I desper2

BAY   TIMES JULY 2 5 , 2 0 1 3

My passion for, and exploration of, science fiction and fantasy have shaped me considerably throughout my life. That’s the context, then, in which to place Ender’s Game, a celebrated and award-winning science-fiction novel I first read nearly 30 years ago. The story of Ender Wiggins, the misunderstood and bullied kid and potential savior of all mankind, his tragic destiny and his quest for redemption, resonated quite strongly with me, as it has for many. This fall, a movie based on the novel, starring Harrison Ford, is being released to great fanfare. I should be giddy with excitement, drooling with anticipation. But I won’t go see Ender’s Game.

The author of Ender’s Game, Orson Scott Card, a lso gets f i lm credits as writer and producer. Why is that significant? In addition to his many works of fiction, Card for over two decades has published a series of uninformed, demeaning and even hostile articles about LGBT people, our civil rights and marriage equality. Card has described LGBT people as suffering from “tragic genetic mixups” and “sex-role dysfunctions.” He has written, “The dark secret of homosexual society… is how many homosexuals f irst entered into that world through a disturbing seduction or rape or molestation or abuse, and how many of them yearn to get out of the homosexual community and live normally.” Card has argued, “Laws against homosexual behavior should remain on the books, not to be indiscriminately enforced… but to be used when necessary to send a clear message that those who flagrantly violate society’s regulation of sexual behavior cannot be permitted to remain as acceptable, equal citizens within that society.” (continued on page 3)

PHOTO COURTESY OF KATHY ALLBRIGHT

Bay Times Invites You to…


Brian Morriss Do you have a n upcom i ng spe cial occasion? Have you st ar ted thin k ing about how you will go ab out m a k i ng it h ap p e n? Have you asked yourself, “Where do I start?” I’ve talked with many people who have never hired a caterer before, and who have never even hosted

To Card, civil marriage equality is a conspiracy by “government or society… to encourage reproductive and/or marital dysfunction in their children.” He has also written, “However emotionally bonded a pair of homosexual lovers may feel themselves to be, what they are doing is not marriage. Nor does society benefit in any way from treating it as if it were.” He continued, “But homosexual ‘marriage’ is an act of intolerance... So if my [gay] friends insist on calling what they do ‘marriage,’… they are attempting to strike a death blow against the well-earned protected status of our… real marriage. They steal from me what I treasure most, and gain for themselves nothing at all. They won’t be married. They’ll just be playing dress-up in their parents’ clothes.” Particularly disturbingly, Card has invoked marriage equality as a potential justification for insurrection, writing, “[ W ]hen government is the enemy of marriage [ i.e., a l lows sa me-sex couples to marry], then the people who are actually creating successful marriages have no choice but to change governments, by whatever means is made possible or necessar y…. Regardless of law, marr iage has only one def inition, and any government that attempts to change it is my mortal enemy. I will act to destroy that government and bring it down, so it can be replaced with a government that will respect and support [man-woman] marriage...” More condemnatory than Card’s ugly and inf lammator y words, though, is that for the past four years he has actively served on the board of the National Organization for Marriage (NOM), whose stated purpose is to work to deny civil marriage equality.

There is so much to do, so much to consider: food, f lowers, centerpieces and decorations, music, bar and beverages, rentals (china, glassware, li nens), venue selection, timing, appointing attendees and assigning tasks, attire, transpor t at ion a nd more. It can be a daunting task, a fun and exciting process, or, most likely, a nervew rack i ng, st ressf ul, and si mply overwhelming effort. Most people start with a list, and that’s always the best f i rst th i ng to do. Once

The best advice I can give anyone plan ning an event for any occasion, is to f ind a caterer who is also an event plan ner and manager that offers full-service. This “o ne - s t o p - sho p pi ng ” w i l l s ave you tons of time, and also provide you with an unbelievable feeling of accomplishment as you are able to check numerous items off your l ist! My approa ch is always t o remain f lexible, to give information, to work to resolve questions, and offer to provide as many or as few services as my client desires. Br i a n Mor r i s s i s th e ow n e r of Che at a Lit tle Cate r ing, a Ba y Area- ba sed e vent planning and event services company. For more infor mat ion , please phone 650 227-1125 or visit www.cheatalittle.com.

Corinna Jeter and Tanya Erquiaga were married at City Hall on July 10th, and are expecting a baby girl in August.

ly. I’m not suggesting Card can’t hold his negative opinions about gay people, speak out against my equality, wax nostalgic for a time when the government could jail people for being gay, or make movies. I’m not even specif ica l ly asking anyone else not to go see the film. Boycotts are controversial, and the choice to participate or not is a very personal one. Some believe that one can and perhaps even should make a clear distinction between an artist’s less savory personal beliefs and causes, and the art he or she creates, and that supporting the latter doesn’t mean endorsing the former. It’s likely, in fact, that I listen to music, read books, and see movies made by people who hold beliefs I might find equally repellent to Card’s.

I won’t go see Ender’s Game.

Let’s be clear, though. Card isn’t just someone who holds strong negative opinions about LGBT people. Card is a public f igure, with a public platform he has used to advocate for anti-gay actions and government policy, and for LGBT people to be punished and shamed. A nd for the past four years, Card has ser ved on the board of an organization whose very mission and purpose it is to deny civil marriage equality to same-sex couples, and has devoted time and money to try to write that organization’s tenets into state and federal laws and constitutions.

I’m not petitioning the government to censor Card. There are no First Amendment implications to my actions, and there isn’t even a free speech issue more general-

Clearly, Card has the right to hold these beliefs, to make them public, and to donate as much money and time to NOM as he wishes. Correspondingly, though, I also have

A portion of any money that goes into Card’s pockets may then flow back to NOM, to be used to try to deny equality and dignity to loving same-sex couples. Moreover, the film’s success may determine the degree to which Card’s own celebrity is elevated and, along with it, a broader platform for the role he plays in funding and advancing NOM’s anti-LGBT and anti-equality agenda.

you start making a list, it’s easier to “work the list” to achieve what you’ve set out to accomplish.

PHOTO COURTESY OF TANYA ERQUIAGA

Event Planning

an event. Truth be told, there are s eve r a l fa c t or s i n pla n n i ng a n event and it’s a lot of work, especially for those “newbies” just t r y i ng to ma ke mom’s bi r t hd ay special, or plan ning a cor porate event for the f irst time and who wa nt t o e n su re it’s u n ique a nd memorable, or even a recently engaged couple who are beginning the process of planning their wedding.

the right to criticize his beliefs, actions and causes, to hold him accountable for them, and to refuse to be complicit in them. I have the right to educate others about them. A nd I have t he r ight to spend my money as I see f it, to support – or to withhold support from – any par t icu lar person, project or work of a r t. I don’t ex pect ever yone to come to t he sa me c onc lu s ion a b out t he E n d e r ’s G a m e b oyc ot t , but I hop e we can agree that open and honest discussion about such actions is important nonetheless. Ironically and tragically, a man s o i nt i m at e ly c on ne c t e d t o a genre most often identif ied with ex plor ing possibi l it ies for better ways to live together and to grow as a species in the future, a genre that encourages respect for t he a l ien, for t hose d i f ferent from us, has elected to devote his t ime and resources to d i m i n i sh i ng a nd l i m it i ng t he human it y and r ight s of ot hers in the present. I won’t go see Ender’s Game. Instead, I’l l stay in and watch some S t a r Tre k or D oct or W h o. A nd I’l l donate t he money I ’d h a v e s p e n t f o r a m o v i e n i g ht t o a n L GB T a d vo c a c y organization. Thom Watson is social media director for the nationwide grassroots organization Marriage Equality USA. The opinions expressed in this column are his own. BAY   T IM ES JULY 25, 2013

3


National News Briefs compiled by Dennis McMillan

Meridian, MS - Satanists Turn Founder of Westboro Baptist Church’s Dead Mom Gay - 7.1 The Satanic Temple, a burgeoning community of worship devoted to the Dark Lord, has performed a “Pink Mass” over the grave of homophobic Westboro Baptist Church founder Fred Phelps Jr.’s mother. The Pink Mass is a Satanic ritual performed after death that turns the deceased’s straight spirit into a queer one: it’s not unlike the Mormon practice of baptizing the dead, only much gayer. The Satanic Temple went to the Phelps family graveyard in Mississippi to perform the ritual. Two Pink Masses were performed: one with a female couple and another with men. Lucien Greaves, the Temple’s spokesperson and officiator of the ceremony, has an official website, westboro-baptist.com. The idea for the mass came about when the WBC announced their intention to protest the funerals of the Boston bombing victims. The church never showed up, but later issued a statement saying they were there “in spirit.” As is always the case when WBC does or says anything, both the initial plans and the subsequent statement pissed off everyone in the world, including Satanists. And so, the Satanic Temple decided that a ceremony celebrating same-sex couples “at the gravesite of Fred Phelps’ mother was an appropriate way to meet the Westboro Baptists, ‘in spirit,’ but this time on our terms.” Now the spirit of Catherine Idalette Johnston is officially into other women - meaning her gravesite is a viable target for one of her son’s “God hates fags” protests.

New York, NY – Freedom to Marry Ramps Up for Big Push - 7.22 Shortly after rolling out the “Roadmap to Victory - Finishing the Job,” an ambitious movement plan for the next push in the campaign to win marriage nationwide, Freedom to Marry announced a new development director as part of its commitment to raising the high cost required for victory. Juan Barajas, formerly the director of philanthropy at the San Francisco AIDS Foundation and deputy director of development at GLAAD, will oversee the campaign’s call to raise millions of dollars to be strategically channeled into public education, state campaigns and federal work. Barajas has nearly 15 years’ experience in nonprofit management, fund development and work dedicated to supporting the LGBTQ community. “As Freedom to Marry propels our movement forward with our Roadmap to Victory winning strategy, we have called on others to step up and help us do the heavy lifting and meet the hefty price-tag victory will require,” said Evan Wolfson, founder and president of Freedom to Marry. “We are upping our game, too, and part of our ramp up is bringing on seasoned fundraiser Juan Barajas to spearhead the smart and effective fundraising needed to get the job done.” He added, “Fresh from wins in the states and at the Supreme Court, it’s time to redouble our efforts and finish the job - multiplying the number of Americans who live in freedom to marry states, growing national public support beyond 60%, and fully ending federal marriage discrimination.” “Following June’s historic Supreme Court victories, I knew I wanted to make a difference and be part of the next chapter in the campaign to win marriage nationwide,” said Barajas. “I want to make sure the next wave of needed campaigns have the resources they need to win.” 37 more to go! Source: freedomtomarry.org

Will the Temple perform Pink Masses on any other deceased members of the homo-hating Phelps family? “We haven’t gayed Fred’s father yet, or his great-aunt,” Greaves said. Meanwhile Fred himself is getting pretty old, and could be getting a Pink Mass himself before long. One can only pray. Source: vice.com

Washington D.C. - Investigation Concludes Government Agency Discriminated Against Transgender Job Applicant - 7.16

San Diego, CA - California Tells Court to Reject San Diego Clerk’s Prop H8 Bid - 7.23 California’s chief law enforcement officer urged the state high court to refuse once again to stop same-sex marriages while the justices consider a legal bid to revive Proposition 8, the 2008 ballot measure that banned same-sex marriage. Atty. Gen. Kamala Harris, responding to a request filed by San Diego County Clerk Ernest Dronenburg Jr., told California’s top court that stopping gays from marrying now would amount to an unconstitutional interference with a federal court order. “The public interest weighs sharply against issuing a stay in this case,” Harris’ office argued. “After years of litigation, there is now a final determination that Proposition 8 is unconstitutional.” Dronenburg urged the California Supreme Court to rule that Gov. Jerry Brown and other statewide officials lack supervisory powers over elected county clerks. Harris suggested that her legal analysis prodded the US 9th Circuit Court of Appeals to take “the extraordinary step” of removing a legal hold on same-sex marriage before a June 26 Supreme Court decision became final. The San Diego clerk’s petition was the second challenge to same-sex marriage filed since the high court ruled that the sponsors of Prop 8 had no legal right or “standing” to appeal. Supporters of Prop 8 contend that the injunction applied at most to two counties - Los Angeles and Alameda - because they were the only two counties named in the injunction. Harris countered that the injunction applied statewide because it also ordered Brown and other statewide officials to stop enforcing Prop 8, and those officials have authority over county clerks.

Rural, NC - Young Undocumented Gay’s Dreams are Bigger Than the Klan - 7.16 As the House continues its conversation about immigration reform, the story of one of the activists in North Carolina, Moises Serrano, can help push immigration reform over the finish line - and to ensure that we get a good bill from the House that will uplift and help folks like Serrano from coast to coast. Serrano came to America when he was two years old. As he moved through public school, he knew that he was different than his classmates. Not only was he hiding that he was undocumented, but also that he was gay. Living in rural North Carolina, his whole life was dictated by the closet. “I hid who I was; I hid my immigration status; I hid everything about myself from everyone around me,” he said. “It wasn’t until I met folks who were ‘out’ about their sexual orientation or their immigration status that I found the courage to tell my mom I was gay.” “I live in Klan country - coming out as gay and/or as undocumented was a dangerous thing to do for myself, and also for my family,” Serrano said. But he found courage in the small community of folks who were organizing to make changes in his area, “and I find courage each day because I desperately want to ensure that my mother, who has since become my rock and my biggest advocate, can live up to her full potential via a pathway to citizenship.”

Mia Macy’s case has changed the legal landscape for transgender employees. Macy won her case after the investigation conducted by the Department of Justice determined she was unlawfully discriminated against by the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms & Explosives (ATF). Macy, an experienced police detective who worked alongside ATF employees doing ballistics-tracking work, was trained on ATF’s computer systems. The agency had offered Macy a job as a ballistics technician, but rescinded the job offer after she told them that she was transgender. Macy’s case, filed with the assistance of Transgender Law Center, resulted in a landmark ruling by the federal Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) stating that Title VII, the federal sex discrimination law, protects employees who are discriminated against because they are transgender or gender non-conforming. After the EEOC’s ruling, the Department of Justice investigated Macy’s claim, and found that she was indeed discriminated against. “We’re thrilled for Mia that justice has been served, and we are incredibly proud to have worked with her to change the legal landscape for transgender Americans moving forward,” said TLC Legal Director Ilona Turner. “This is truly historic. Employers everywhere need to understand that they will be held accountable if they discriminate against transgender people.” “It’s a victory for all transgender people to know that we have a voice, that we have recourse, and that when it comes to workplace protections we deserve to make a living,” Macy said.

The California Supreme Court unanimously rejected a request by the sponsors of Prop 8 to put a hold on the marriages and also turned down Dronenburg’s bid. Will Prop H8ers EVER give up?!

He needs Congress to act on comprehensive immigration reform. “I want for other LGBTQ undocumented folks like me to be able to raise their heads up high and no longer live in the shadows,” he said. He urges others like him to visit salsalabs.com and tell their stories.

The Department of Justice’s 51-page decision ordered ATF to re-offer Macy the job and awarded her back pay with interest and other compensatory damages. The decision also ordered ATF to take action to ensure no future employees or job applicants are discriminated against on the basis of gender identity. That’s a big win!

Source: latimes.com

Source: getequal.org

Source: meltwaterpress.com

Local News Briefs Transgender Law Center Hires Deputy Director and Staff Attorney

Feeling Alone? Click Your Mouse to Anonymouse

Transgender Law Center in San Francisco has hired Kris Hayashi, deputy director, and Sasha Buchert, staff attorney, to their growing team. They both have extensive experience in LGBTQ and social justice movements. “We look forward to working together to create a world in which everyone can live free from discrimination based on their gender identity or expression,” says Executive Director Masen Davis.

AnonyMouse, a Bay Area startup recently founded by Aaron Moy and Aashay Desai, is the latest safe place to discuss LGBTQ issues anonymously. If someone feels alone, mentors have people that have been through what they’ve been through. Their mentors have grown up in the Midwest, are active duty military, are transgender and/or have been elite level athletes. This is the place to find a particular mentor. They say they are not a website that wants your information. In fact, the less information they have about you, the better.

Hayashi has been active in social, racial and economic justice organizing for over 20 years. For the last ten years he served as the executive director/co-director of the Audre Lorde Project, a LGBTQ, two-spirit and gender nonconforming, people of color organizing center based in New York City. Previously he served as a trainer/organizer at Western States Center in Portland, Oregon, and as executive director of Youth United for Community Action – a youth organizing group in California, led by young people of color organizing for social and environmental justice. Buchert is joining TLC from Basic Rights Oregon, the state’s chief LGBTQ advocacy organization where she was the communications manager, and most recently the transgender policy organizer. She is a member of Basic Rights Oregon’s legal advisory group where she has worked on a wide range of transgender policy issues, and is a member of the Transgender Justice Working Group, a group of community members driving transgender justice forward in the state. She is a board member of the LGBT Bar Association of Oregon, and is the current chair of the Oregon State Hospital Advisory Board and is the first openly transgender person to be appointed to an Oregon state board. Buchert often presents “Know Your Rights” talks addressing LGBTQ legal rights and hosts a community radio program focused on queer culture. She received her Juris Doctor degree from Willamette University. Story by Dennis McMillan

4

BAY   TIMES JULY 2 5 , 2 0 1 3

They list what they are not: a website to discuss suicide or abuse (visit the Trevor Project for that); not a medically certified website; not a dating or sex website; and not a website designed to connect mentors to users outside the scope of AnonyMouse. All conversations are to remain within the confines of this website. AnonyMouse (www.anonymou.se) will revolutionize the way people seek anonymous help. They focus on online and mobile-based communications. The impetus for AnonyMouse was born out of Moy’s own struggles. As a closeted athlete in college with a long-term girlfriend, he struggled with finding someone to talk to while in the closet. He needed advice, but nothing anonymous existed that didn’t involve sex, dating or crises. He ended up turning to Craigslist to find a mentor. Obviously a dangerous move in retrospect, it seemed like the only option at the time. Fast forward a few years, and he realized the service he never had still didn’t exist. So he created AnonyMouse to prevent future generations from resorting to similarly dangerous methods. He hopes that AnonyMouse will help alleviate issues so that no one will feel as alone as he once did. Story by Dennis McMillan


Love and “Settling”

Examined Life Tom Moon, MFT John privately wonders whether he should break up with Carl, his partner of seven years. It’s not that there are major problems. It’s not an abusive relationship, and there is still a lot of love between them. It’s an accumulation of small things. The sex isn’t as hot or as frequent as it used to be; Carl doesn’t share a lot of his interests; he’s gained some weight, and he has some habits that annoy John. What started out as a hot and passionate romance now feels kind of ordinary. John wonders, “If I stay with him, am I settling?” These doubts arise eventually in many, maybe even most, long-term

partnerships. One of the most common disappointments in even successful relationships is just this ordinariness, which is so different from what we’ve come to expect love to deliver. Our culture’s happy-everafter fantasies of what is supposed to happen after you meet “the one” have absurdly inf lated our expectations of what romantic love can provide. Many people only consider a relationship successful if it meets all of their sexual and emotional needs, as well as their economic and social status aspirations. It should also heal their childhood wounds, be a source of unconditional love and endless praise to help them overcome their self-esteem problems, and rescue them from boredom, unhappiness, and aimlessness. No real relationship ever does all that. One way out of this trap is to stop measuring our relationships from a primarily egocentric point of view by working at changing the focus so that our primary relationship is with love itself, and to begin to view those we love as the opportunities that life has given us to share that love. Everyone has experienced this kind of unselfish love. We’ve all looked at a partner – or a friend, or a child – and felt a

deep delight in his or her being that is completely independent of what this person was or wasn’t doing for us. This shows that loving itself is inherently satisfying, and can be the primary source of our happiness. In this shift of focus, we stop keeping score, stop judging, stop being obsessively focused on “getting my needs met” and stop trying to win every time there’s a disagreement. When frustrations and disappointments arise, we see them as opportunities to deepen our relationship to love, not as affronts to our egos or as experiences of being denied our “fair share” of whatever it is we think we’re owed. Shifting focus in this way is a lifelong practice, but it has many rewards. The more deeply we do it, the more we develop a realistic and mature understanding of what relationships actually are, and we also become more accepting of their unavoidable imperfections. It is then that our relationships become vehicles for teaching us to love more deeply, and to become more self-contained and less demanding of others. Tom Moon is a psychotherapist in San Francisco. His website is www.tommoon.net.

A Cautionary Tale ly. He lived with his girlfriend for years and even had a commitment ceremony before f inally getting the off icial paperwork at City Hall just to quiet the nagging.

The Western View Joel P. Engardio The week I won the right to marry in California, I volunteered to help with the expected rush of same-sex weddings at City Hall. I was sworn in as a deputy marriage commissioner and my thrill to be part of the historic moment was palpable.

It’s ironic that gays and lesbians have won the freedom to marr y only to learn how stressful society’s expectations around marriage can be. Marriage talk puts a lot of pressure on a new couple. It puts even more pressure on a longtime couple when one expects a ring and the other prefers the status quo. And it can create anxiety for a single person of a certain age— afraid they

duce America to gay couples and win the court of public opinion. Now that gay couples can say “I do” for real, we don’t have to rush them to the altar. The beauty of greater societal acceptance means gay people are free to experience every life milestone alongside their straight counterparts without fear and restriction. Gay teens can learn heartache in high school and have a crummy prom just like everyone else. They can also have hook-ups in college a nd ser iou s rom a nce a s you ng

My enthusiasm bubbled over at a dinner party with several gay couples. The appetizers hadn’t arrived yet and I was asking everyone when they were getting married. I also announced that if they got hitched before my temporary commission expired in August, I could marry them! My partner Lionel hit me under the table. But it was too late. I had already brought the conversation to an awkward silence. Lionel’s swift kick made me realize my faux pas: I had just publicly forced unmarried couples to talk about marriage when they may not have yet discussed it themselves. This is a cautionary tale for anyone who knows a same-sex couple. Yes, we won a fundamental right in California and 12 other states (and counting). That’s worth celebrating, but it doesn’t mean every gay couple is ready or even wants to marry. “Now gay people w i l l k now t he oppression of family and friends pushing you to get married,” one of my straight friends said recent-

w ill always be a bridesmaid and never a bride. Plus, a fair number of gay people have no interest in getting married. Some f ind the institution outdated and unnecessary, or antithetical to what it means to be proudly gay and different. Others just enjoy being on their own. Plenty of divorced people probably wonder why anyone would ever want to get married. But most agree that having the right to marry is important, even if they don’t choose to use it. No one wants to be a second-class citizen. That’s why I spent many years working on the issue for the A merican Civil Liberties Union. T he ACLU lost ever y sa me-sex mar r iage case I worked on, but those early lawsuits helped intro-

adults. They w ill know their relat ionships have t he same va lue as any other because marriage is available to them if they want it. As for that dinner party I almost r u i ned , it t u r ned out OK . We laughed away the awkwardness. I realized my excitement was about the possibilities with the wonderful man sitting by my side. The man who knows my favorite f lavor of ice cream and who brought me to Taiwan to meet his parents. Now ever yone is ask ing us when we’re getting married. Joel Engardio ser ves on the board of directors of the Alice B. Toklas LGBT Democratic Club and Plan C , a San Francisco organization that advocates for moderate solutions and legislation. Follow his blog at www.engardio.com.

Check out more from the

Bay Times

@ sfbaytimes.com. BAY   T IM ES JULY 25, 2013

5


Real Estate and Design

The First Time having that coach in place early on will help you in making the right choices for the other members of your team.

Real Estate Mark Penn For ma ny of us, t hat f irst t ime was many moons ago. It was full of drama, excitement, unknowns, and adventure. We worried about it, but probably even bragged about it a little bit afterwards. And now, many of us chuckle over it as something that we were prett y naïve about. Yes, buy ing your f irst home can certainly be a lifetime milestone. What’s that?? You thought this was about something else? But – this is a REAL ESTATE column… what were you ex pect ing? Wel l, now that I have your attention, let’s talk about a few things to keep in mind as you consider taking your f irst leap into property ownership. First of all, you aren’t alone in this. Navigating the waters of making the purchase is something that most people don’t do more than a few times in their lives. So, f irst-time buyer or not, having the help of a professional team, with a knowledgeable a nd mot ivat i ng coach heading up that team, is critical. Your team will include, among others, a mortgage loan representative and a t it le company representative, and your “coach” – who will be your real estate agent. In fact,

I’ve discussed the importance of having a good match with your REALTOR® before, so I won’t rehash that here. But suf f ice to say that a f irst-time buyer needs an agent who is patient and a good “teacher” - one who will provide a good understanding of the process. The best way to f ind an agent who is a good match is to speak with friends and family about experiences they have had. Even if your network is not local, if they can recommend a good agent outside of your geographic area, that person will help you f ind an equa l ly good agent in your home-shopping neighborhood. It is rarely a good idea to use the “second cousin of your brotherin-law’s mother” just because they are family. Your agent must be one with whom you have a great professional relationship, one whom you trust, and one who will be there for you when the going gets tough. Your agent can help you select a tit le company and also help you locate a lender with a good reputation. You can rest assured that these team members are not receiving any compensation or kickbacks from one another, as that is strictly prohibited by federal law, and few of us are willing to put our livelihood on the line just to get a few extra bucks from an illegal referral. If you are planning to f inance the purchase (via a mortgage), it will also be important for you to have your down payment together. A lthough there are plenty of loan programs out there that require less cash dow n, the “gold standard”

in lending will be for you to have at least a 20% down payment on hand, and the more cash, the better. W hile in many parts of the Bay Area market cash buyers are still a dominant force, in some areas we are seeing the frenzy of cash begin to slow, and now, buyers who are f inancing their purchase are f inding the competition of recent months beginning to ease. However, it will take more than the down payment to be able to complete your purchase, since the buyer is also responsible to pay a share of “closing costs,” or costs associated with the escrow and the mortgage. Be sure that these funds are “seasoned” (meaning they have been in the bank for a number of months) and traceable – so a lender can track where the funds came from. Next month: Locating that property and writing your offer. A Bay Area native, Mark Penn has been a REALTOR® with Coldwell Banker since 2004. He is also active in animal welfare, and is a former educator, facilitator, and air traffic controller. Mark can be reached at mark@ MyHomeInSonoma.com.

Round About – Bay Times Friends

Bay Times reader Sarah Kerley displays her rainbow flag with pride Jody and Katharine Cole received a State Proclamation from Senator Mark Leno during a Fare Thee Well Party co-hosted by upon reaching the summit of Mt. St Helens. Bay Times co-publishers Betty Sullivan and Jen Viegas at Catch. (Photo courtesy of Sarah Kerley) Jody and Katharine are relocating to Atlanta after many years in the Bay Area. (Photo by Rink)

With a nod to the Noe Valley Voice, design expert Abby Zimberg and legal eagle Helene Wenzel read the Bay Times in Paris. (Photo courtesy of Abby Zimberg) 6

BAY   TIMES JULY 2 5 , 2 0 1 3


Real Estate and Design

Health, Connection, Balance and Beauty

Project Remodel Jim Tibbs

PHOTOS COURTESY OF JIM TIBBS

The San Francisco Decorator Showcase is one of the Bay Area’s premier design show house events, featuring the work of top designers and raising funds for the San Francisco University High School Financial Aid Program. Over its 35-year history, the novative desig n, superb artistr y, craftsmanship and natural beauty as a testament to the “sacred ritual of bathing.” The desig n team at Siol was ins pi r e d by t he hu m a n ne e d for hea lth, connect ion, balance and beauty, with the goal of creating a modern bathroom that meets the needs of daily use, but also provides a vessel for ref lection. The tea m c a me up w it h a br i l l i a nt f loor pla n w it h a cent ra l, open s ho w e r t h a t i s s u r r ou n d e d b y zones for bathing, cleansing and d r y ing. T he f loor plan includes

sensual, exactly what a bathroom should be. T hese a re t he desig n ideas t hat can be adapted from this Showcase bathroom to your own home: 1. Put a fresh, modern spin on t he st yle of your bat hroom, even i f you l ive i n a n older home. 2. Explore unconventional f loor plan options. 3. Design the shower as an integral part of the space.

Showcase has been held in architecturally significant homes throughout San Francisco featuring rooms that range from tastefully elegant to wild, wacky and whimsical. The designers and artisans who donate their time and resources for this event create fantastic spaces that inspire, seduce, challenge and sometimes confound the senses. The site for this year’s Showcase was Herbst Manor, an 8,000 square foot 1906 Georgian mansion that was transformed and reimagined by 24 talented design firms from around the Bay Area.

multipurpose, sliding wall screens that provide privacy for the shower a nd toi let c h a mb er a nd a r e beautiful works of art as well. The cleansing and dr ying area in the front of t he space ta kes fu l l adv a nt a g e of t he c it y s c ap e v ie w, whi le t he rear bat hing area is a meditative environment centered in front of a beautiful living wall comprised of baby’s tears, spearmint, woodland fern, French lavender and other plant life.

The show house was full of beautiful spaces, but there was one room that stood out for me as the defining, awe-inspiring moment in the tour. The master bathroom created by the design firm Siol (pronounced she-ohl) under the direction of Jessica Weigley and Kev in Hackett of fered the perfect balance of in-

T he f i xt ures and fur n ish ing s t h roughout t he bat h room h ave simple, scu lptura l qua l it ies t hat create the feeling of a private art g a l ler y. T he color scheme cont ra st s bron ze a nd ebony w it h a background of white. The vibrant g reen l iv i ng wa l l i n t he rea r of the space is the per fect counterpoint to t he neut ra l colors used in the rest of the space. The total ef fect is one that is nurturing and

4. Choose f ixtures with simple, clean lines. 5. Create an interesting canvas w ith a neutra l color scheme in contrasting colors. 6. I nt roduce color w it h pla nt s that thrive in a humid env ironment. T hese idea s ca n be executed at all budget levels and will help to transform your bathroom into a space inspired by health, connection, balance and beauty. For mor e i n for m at ion : S iol Studios, www.siolstudios.com; SF Decorator Showcase, decoratorshowcase.org J im T ibbs is the creative director of HDR Remodeling. If you would like to learn more, please read his blog at hdrremodeling.wordpress.com or follow him on Twitter at @HDRre- modeling1.

BAY   T IM ES JULY 25, 2013

7


My Vision for the Freedom March of Art Kim Corsaro Publisher 1981-2011

2261 Market Street, No. 309 San Francisco CA 94114 Phone: 415-503-1375 525 Bellevue Avenue Oakland CA 94610 Phone: 510-846-8158 E-mail: editor@sfbaytimes.com www.sfbaytimes.com

learned people are hungry for art that inspires, educates and depicts history truthfully.

significant people and moments in history. I relied

With the design of my first monument, Remember Them: Champions for Humanity, I attempted to depict the astounding altruism that is possible in humankind. The more I researched, the more phenomenal people I uncovered, and I saw the impossibility of sculpting a single artwork that encompassed the great deeds of so many. I then realized that by creating a series of monuments, each with a slightly

cial likeness of an individual, but it is the emotion

upon my and my team’s ability to capture the fain the work that most strongly and memorably connects with others. Reminding people of the courageous, selfless acts that changed our world forever is one avenue to break the cycle of negative news. My dream is to continue the work of heroes and humanitarians by creating artworks that speak to the heart, in-

Guest Editorial

spire and educate, and challenge every person to

Mario Chiodo

The Bay Times was the first newspaper in California, and among the first in the world, to be jointly and equally produced by lesbians and gay men. We honor our history and the paper’s ability to build and strengthen unity in our community.

achieve greatness.

A transformational moment for me came on September 11, 2001, when I gave up all of my former clients and made the bold decision to use my skill as a sculptor to make art that might transform negativity in the world by focusing on positive aspects of humanity. After twenty successful years operating a creative design business, it seemed an insane idea, but I followed my passion and have since

Dr. Betty L. Sullivan Jennifer L. Viegas Co-Publishers & Co-Editors

Ayana Baltrip Balagas Design Direction & Production

different theme and placed in different locales, I could spread uplifting messages to countless people and create bonds between cities. Thus, the concept of the Freedom March of Art© was born. As I began exploring themes of social justice in my own art, I created works for my own collection as well as commissioned sculpture that brought to life

Sculptor Mario Chiodo is the founder of Chiodo Art Development and Freedom March of Art, which created the “Remember Them: Champions for Humanity” monument in Oakland. A native of Oakland, Chiodo has won numerous commissions and awards. He directs a diverse team of artists who are experts in realistic artwork, murals, painting, foliage, scenery and scientifically accurate modeling.

Abby Zimberg Design & Production Juan Torres Advertising Executive Juan@sfbaytimes.com Robert Fuggiti Calendar Editor

Kit Kennedy Poet-In-Residence Barbara Brust / Lucille Design PHOTO COURTESY OF CHIODO ART D EVELOP M EN T

Webmaster & Technology Director

Michael Denison Juan Ordonez Distribution

Writers Rink, Sister Dana Van Iquity, Ann Rostow, Kirsten Kruse, Teddy Witherington, Kate Kendell, Pollo del Mar, Heidi Beeler, K. Cole, Gary M. Kramer, Dennis McMillan, Tom Moon, Paul E. Pratt, Terry Baum, Gypsy Love, Joel Engardio, Rafael Mandelman, Scott Wiener, Shelley MacKay, Kit Kennedy, Leslie Katz, Karen Williams, Gary Virginia, Stu Smith, Zoe Dunning, Kathleen Archambeau, Jim Tibbs, Mark Penn, Marcy Adelman, Stuart Gaffney & John Lewis Brandon Miller & Joanne Jordan

The Remember Them: Champions for Humanity monument is located at the Henry J. Kaiser Memorial Park at 1900 Rashida Muhammad Street in the heart of Oakland’s entertainment district. Featuring 25 humanitarians of diverse cultural backgrounds, this is the only monument in the US where these international civil rights leaders appear together.

Profiles of Courage and Compassion: Lance Tom SS: How did you become involved in your work?

Photographers Rink, Dennis McMillan, Steven Underhill, Phyllis Costa, Cathy Blackstone, Robert Fuggiti

ADVERTISING Display Advertising Standard Rate Cards are available online at sfbaytimes.com or calling: 415-503-1375. Classified Advertising: Refer to the order form in The Classifieds section, which you may mail or fax in, or e-mail us at classifieds@sfbaytimes.com. Deadline is 3 p.m. the Thursday preceding publication. For display classified information, please call Display Advertising

Don't Call It Frisco Stu Smith

at 415-503-1386 #3.

(Editor’s Note: Lance Toma is the Executive Director of the Asian & Pacific Islander Wellness Center, apiwellnessorg.)

National Advertising: Contact Bay Times / San Francisco. Also represented by Rivendell Media., Mountainside, NJ 908-232-2021.

CALENDAR

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR If you would like to write a letter to the editor with comment on an article or suggestions for the Bay Times, email us at editor@sfbaytimes.com. © 2013 Bay Times Media Co, Inc. Co-owned by Betty L. Sullivan & Jennifer L. Viegas Reprints by permission only.

8

BAY   TIMES JULY 2 5 , 2 0 1 3

P H OTOS C O URT ESY O F AP I W E LLN E SS C EN T ER

Event listings for consideration to be included in the Bay Times online or print Calendar section should be sent by e-mail to: calendar@sfbaytimes.com.

Mayor Ed Lee and Lance Tom

LT: I actually studied engineering in college. This had a lot to do with obedience and being a good son for my family. But, I always knew that social justice was my passion. I just didn’t know how to pursue this as a profession. I was grateful to have found social work as a field of study and it is now my life-long profession and identity. I love that my work involves providing services and advocacy on behalf of communities and issues that I really care about. Over the past 20 years, I’ve worked with homeless individuals, LGBT youth, gang-involved youth in public schools, Asian & Pacific Islander communities, and HIV/ AIDS communities across all communities of color. When I came out in my early 20s, I was in Chicago and began

volunteering at Horizons Community Services, a social service organization for the LGBT community. Soon after volunteering, I had the opportunity to be employed there as one of their program directors. I loved it. I loved being able to support queer youth and develop programs and services that met their needs. I loved learning how nonprofit organizations effect change on behalf of communities that deserved better from our system. I feel fortunate to have found a job at A&PI Wellness Center almost 14 years ago. This brought me to San Francisco, where I met my husband and our now 20-year-old son. SS: Name one of your key mentors and explain how he or she inspired your work. LT: I have so many mentors, so many folks who have enabled me to be here doing the work I do. Johnny ManzonSantos, Diane Sabin & Jewelle Gomez, Roger Doughty, Jan Masaoka, Stephen Huey, Steve Lew, Rea Carey, and so many more. If I had to pick one, I would highlight Paul Kawata, who is the executive director of the National Minority AIDS Council. I currently sit on his board. But way before I joined the NMAC board, I met him in 1999 and I was awestruck by his charisma and larger-than-life personality. Here was another Japanese American gay man leading a national organization and fighting on behalf of all communities of color. I have learned so much from Paul about leadership, perseverance, community building, and leaving no one behind when we advocate and fight for justice and equality. This is how I strive to lead at A&PI Wellness Center.

Lance Tom

SS: If you could fix or solve one major problem in the Bay Area, what would it be and why? LT: Being from Hawaii, I sometimes wish we had warmer weather in San Francisco. But other than that, I think San Francisco is quite amazing. I am amazed every day by the continuum of services that we have in our City and how there is such strong camaraderie among organizations, particularly in HIV/AIDS and A&PI communities. I do think we have work to do toward building a more united LGBT community that is embracing of our ethnic and racial and socioeconomic class diversity, as well as our gender identity spectrum. As a gay man of color, this is so important to me. It is about wholeness and healing for the entire LGBT community. SS: Among your many achievements, which one are you most proud of and why? LT: I have had the privilege of sitting on several boards over the years. I helped to found an organization that served the homeless community in Chicago. I was on the National Youth Advocacy Coalition board in the late (continued on page 18)


The Week in Review By Ann Rostow Fresh Prince I’ve been off line for a week and have no idea what’s been happening in our wild and wacky GLBT universe. In the short time that I’ve set aside for reviewing the headlines this morning, I did note that we have a new Prince. That’s a shame, only because some of us wanted a Princess to be third in line for the throne under the genderneutral rules of succession. Now, it’s nothing but Kings as far as the eye can see. That said, I’m happy for the adorable royal couple, of course! I also read that something like 80 percent of British citizens would be supportive of the Princeling if he turned out to be gay. That’s nice. I hope he does. I suppose you know that Great Britain legalized marriage equality ten days ago or so. One of the Lords who spoke in opposition wondered aloud what would happen if a lesbian queen got married and chose to have a baby through artificial insemination. Would that child be heir to the throne, he sputtered? And why wouldn’t it? I do think however that the royal family in this hypothetical scenario should give their sperm donor a noble title and a hunting estate in the country. Now here’s a question I’ve posed in the past. Why is it that the media cannot differentiate between a generic sex scandal (affair with intern, visit to prostitute) and the bizarre behavior of Anthony Weiner, who seems truly mad? The man is missing several of the elements we associate with being a mature human being. He belongs on the pages of Freud’s diary; a megalomaniac suffering from a sexual short circuit rooted in a deep infant trauma or something. Get him out of our lives, please! It goes without saying that, in view of her amazing reputation, his wife’s loyalty is a profound mystery. What else is new? Well, I saw in the Times obituaries this morning that a gay boxer has died. Emile Griffith killed a man in the course of his professional career, landing two-dozen punches in the space of a few seconds and sending him to the hospital where he later kicked the bucket. The unfortunate challenger, Benny Paret, had called Griffith a “maricon,” Spanish for faggot, in the weight room before the match. The rumors surrounding Griffith were true, but back in the early 1960s, Griffith not-surprisingly stayed in the closet, letting his anger and frustration manifest itself in the ring. According to the article, Griffith was haunted by Paret’s death and could never quite fight as hard. He eventually came out, sort of, and he died as most boxers do, in a demented state. In other gay histor y news, code breaker and World War II hero Alan Turing was officially pardoned for his gross indecency conviction. Turing was chemically castrated and killed himself after his thankless country nailed him for gay sex, conveniently ignoring the fact that he was instrumental in breaking the Nazi codes, and turning the tide in favor of the Allied forces. Texas Tax Man Always Rings Twice A month or so removed from the Windsor decision, it remains to be seen how the end of the Defense of Marriage Act will affect people like me who got married in a free state, but live in a State of Discrimination. I keep reading about federal benefits that accrue to married couples that live in states recognizing same-sex

marriage. But the implications for the rest of us remain murky. Will Mel and I file joint taxes next year? And if not, why not? Meanwhile, the ruling is having a ripple effect. In Pennsylvania, a county official has decided to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples, based on the Supreme Court’s reasoning. The Keystone State does not have a constitutional amendment banning marriage, but it does have a statute on the books that limits wedlock to a man and a woman. It’s also one of several states targeted with a federal marriage lawsuit, so some believe it might be wiser to wait for a legal resolution rather than go rogue in Montgomery County. Still, the tides have turned since San Francisco issued licenses on its own initiative a decade ago. Those marriages, as many of you recall, were later annulled by court order. But maybe Pennsylvanians will have better luck on their shortcut to equality. After all, it takes years for a federal lawsuit to run its course. We saw another interesting ripple in Ohio, where two men have gotten a federal court to issue a temporary injunction against the Buckeye antimarriage amendment. I’m not sure I really understand this, but why should that stop me from blathering on to you about it? As far as I can tell, one of the men is on his deathbed, and the couple has asked the court to force Ohio to recognize their recent Maryland marriage on his death certificate.

Professional Services Speaking of being on display, I was reading about a gay kiss-in performed for the benefit of the Pope in Brazil. Later on in the same article, I learned that some of the women of Brazil were planning a SlutWalk on beach in Rio to catch the Pope’s eye. The SlutWalk features woman bare to the waist or lower, activist style, delivering a message against sexual violence. One wonders if these gestures reach the Pontiff’s heart. But still, we appreciate the effort. As we would appreciate bearing witness to the protest itself. But Readers, is there nothing else that we can show today? New Jersey? We twirl a button. Time out. Or as my small granddaughters would say, “pause it.” The subject of Brazil has ensnared me in an Emily Dickenson poem that was one of many my mother used to quote, as a non-sequitor while making breakfast, for example. Obscure, enigmatic, and strangely addictive, it goes like this in its entirety: “I asked no other thing. No other was denied. I offered Being for it. The mighty merchant smiled. Brazil? He twirled a button, without a glance my way. But Madam, is there nothing else that we can show today?” The reason that I undermined my allusion by bringing the poem out of hiding is that I just looked it up, only to discover that several links suggest that the middle line says: “the mighty merchant sneered.” Others say “smiled,” which is how my mother always said it.

I guess I hadn’t realized that death certificates had a spousal line-item, but it seems they do and I’m assuming it’s an important detail for the survivor to have on record. In this particular case, it’s essential because the two men want to be buried together in the dying man’s family plot, where legal strangers are not allowed.

I think the harsh verb completely changes the feeling of the verse, don’t you? I always found the mighty merchant benignly indifferent, irritatingly so. But I never found Him dismissive or disrespectful. Which is the real version? I don’t even care to find out, because I have already selected the real version for my own purposes.

The ruling is limited to this marriage only, and will not in theory set a precedent for the state. But you know what? It does set a precedent. Maybe not a legal precedent, but a human one. And you can’t help but wonder what will happen in other Mean States as more of us marry, move and die.

Jersey? Sure.

Speaking of moving, I’m guessing that Mel and I will seriously consider moving out of Texas if nothing changes here in the next several years. How could we not? It’s not just a symbolic impulse anymore. It’s health care, social security, and now our sad single death certificates! What other nuances of married life are threatened by our continued residence in the Lone Star State? Whatever they are, I don’t want either of us to be forced to run over to a federal court in order to resolve them in our favor, particularly if the other one has just died. I just checked with Mel on the above paragraph and she agreed, adding that our new state of residence will also be one where the name “Anthony Weiner” is never mentioned. Sounds like we’ll be back in California. Brazil? He Twirled a Button, Without a Glance My Way For the record, a man named Nick Gilronan won the “Smallest Penis Contest” in Brooklyn the other day. The 27-year-old UPS worker said, and I paraphrase, the size of your dick has no bearing on the content of your character, and I hope you will all join me in applauding the victor as well as his brave fellow contestants. Seriously! It takes some balls to get up on stage and display your tiny penis for the crowd.

As I was about to say, I read that we apparently need three New Jersey senators and 12 members of the assembly in order to overturn Chris Christie’s veto and pass marriage equality in the Garden State by next January. Activists are “guardedly optimistic” that the votes can be wrangled by the deadline, but if this plan fails, we still have our lawsuit making progress in state court. That lawsuit has thus far consisted of a tedious and unnecessary reprise of our previous New Jersey marriage suit, Lewis v Harris. Back in the day, we “won” a suit for marriage, but even though the state supreme court ruled that same-sex couples deserved all the rights of their straight neighbors, the justices hedged their bets and allowed the legislature to create the “equal” status of civil unions. Years passed us by. Even though it was clear that civil unions were not, in fact, the equal of marriage, nothing changed. Trenton ordered commissions and studies. Eventually, we asked the state supreme court to rule that civil unions had failed to meet the standards they set in Lewis. The high court refused. We sued again and were sent back to square one in the lower court. More time went by. The legislature legalized marriage, but Christie vetoed the bill. The state lawsuit continued. On July 3, a few days after the Windsor decision, Lambda Legal asked the lower court for a summary judgment stating that New Jersey’s civil union does not provide the equality that the Lewis court purported to demand. (continued on page 18)

Read more @www.sfbaytimes.com and check us out on Twitter and Facebook. BAY   T IM ES JULY 25, 2013

9


“Bay Times” Education Program with Use the News Foundation

Remember Them: Champions for Humanity The original impetus and inspiration for the creation of the monument Remember Them: Champions for Humanity were the tragic events of September 11, 2001. A piece of steel from Ground Zero is even preserved within the monument, now located in downtown Oakland next to the Fox Theatre. The epic bronze monument is dedicated to twenty-five international humanitarians, shown here. These include Harvey Milk, who once said, “All young people, regardless of sexual orientation or identity, deserve a safe and supportive environment in which to achieve their full potential.” There is still so much more work to be done to reach that goal but, as Milk also famously said, “you got to give them hope.” The monument, cast in 60,000 pounds of bronze and measuring 52 feet long, is now the largest of its kind west of the Mississippi. Another first is the visually impaired wall, which allows those with sight impairments to explore the characters on the monument as well as quotations in Braille. Photos courtesy of Chiodo Art Development

Maya Angelou (1928-present): Poet, playwright, civil rights activist

Ruby Bridges (1954-present): At age 6, braved an angry mob to become the f irst black student in an all-white school in the South

Susan B. Anthony (1820-1906): Human rights activist who fought for women’s suffrage and the abolition of slavery

The Rev. Ralph David Abernathy (1926-1990): Partner with Martin Luther King, Jr., in civil rights activism

Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865): American president who abolished slavery

Coretta Scott King (1927-2006): Civil rights activist

Helen Keller (1880-1968): Fought for rights for those with disabilities

The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. (1929-1968): Civil rights leader

Rigoberta Menchu Tum (1959-present): Human rights activist for indigenous people in Latin America

Oskar Schindler (1908-1974): German businessman who outwitted Nazis to save more than 1,200 Jewish lives

Franklin Delano Roosevelt (1882-1945): United States president during W WII who established the United Nations

10

BAY   TIMES JULY 2 5 , 2 0 1 3

Thich Nhat Hanh (1926-present): Pacif ist Vietnamese Buddhist monk who is a human rights and anti-war activist


Chief Joseph (1846-1904): Head of the Nez Perce Nation and human rights activist

Cesar Chavez (1927-1993): Civil rights activist and agricultural workers labor leader

Frederick Douglass (1817-1895): A former slave who became a leader in the abolitionist movement

Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948): Pacif ist who led India to independence from Great Britain

Shirin Ebadi (1947-present): Human rights activist for Middle East issues and Nobel Peace Prize winner

Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965): British prime minister during W WII who was one of the f irst leaders to counter Nazi fascism

Rosa Parks (1913-2005): Civil rights activist

Harvey Milk (1930-1978): A leader of the gay rights movement

Nelson Mandela (1918-present): Human rights activist and f irst democratically elected president of South Africa

Mother Teresa (1910-1997): Leader of the Order of the Missionaries of Charity, won 1979 Nobel Peace Prize

Elie Wiesel (1928-present): Holocaust survivor dedicated to preventing genocide

The Unknown Rebel of Tiananmen Square (1989): Stood in front of tanks during student human rights uprising in China

Malcolm X (1925-1965): Black nationalist, civil rights leader

BAY   T IM ES JULY 25, 2013

11


Your Dreams Don’t Have an Expiration Date ARIES (March 21 – April 19) Adjust your lenses, Aries. Attractive career options are revealing themselves now. Zoom in on authentic desires, and zoom out to see where your role resonates with the “big picture.”

Astrology Gypsy Love Julia Child didn’t learn to cook until she was nearly forty years old. Morgan Freeman acted for decades before propelling into worldwide success in his fifties with Street Smart and Driving Miss Daisy. Laura Ingalls Wilder wrote and published the Little House children’s classics in her sixties and seventies. Astrovibes urge us now to re-evaluate the viability of our visions. Dispel the daunting illusion that your dreams deserve an expiration date.

www.AstrologyByGypsyLove.com

better.

LEO (July 23 – August 22) Are you down for some deep-sea diving, dear Leo? Cosmic currents invite you to explore the ebbs and flows of your emotions now. Venture into the vortex of your soul.

TAURUS (April 20 – May 20) Feeling tongue-tied, Taurus? Powers of communication prove most potent when you perform with a purpose. Commune with your community to promote your principles now. Actions speak louder than words.

VIRGO (August 23 – September 22) Buddy up, Virgo! Unseen forces are flowing in your favor now – especially where creative projects and close partners are concerned. Sync with supporters who sincerely share your vision.

GEMINI (May 21 – June 20) Celestial circumstances are serving to expose – and ultimately dismantle – oppressive structures that have stifled your goals and finances. Re-plant your garden, Gemini. Transform past pains into profitable gains. CANCER (June 21 – July 22) Philosophies that have flourished within you are now filtering through to the outside. Speak up, Cancer. Communicate your needs clearly so you attract precisely what you desire. Others are taking notice!

LIBRA (September 23 – October 22) Your reputation will reach new heights if you publically commit to your passions now, Libra. Believing in your dreams will launch you into a far more pleasant professional playing field!

SCORPIO (October 23 – November 21) Things are shaping up to be pretty interesting, aren’t they, Scorpio? Even if the outcome isn’t unfolding as planned, your ideas and identity are about to expand. Enjoy!

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 – December 21) Since when do you use a road map, Sagittarius? You’re the zodiac’s perennial traveler. So, why fuss about all these unanswered questions? Allow your inner compass to take the wheel.

CAPRICORN (December 22 – January 19) Call your own shots, Capricorn. It’s important to play well with others, but this is ridiculous. Own your power. Release the need to over-identify with other people’s perceptions of you. AQUARIUS (January 20 – February 18) Boost your wellness, Aquarius. Formulate a desirable daily routine to tune up and tend to your temple. The road ahead is action packed. Refuel energy from the inside out. PISCES (February 19 – March 20) Choosing who and what you can count on only works if you believe in yourself. Trust your gut, Pisces. Faithfully feel your way through this fork in the road.

Gypsy Love’s astrology readings have helped 1000’s of people attract what they authentically desire.

As Heard on the Street . . .

compiled by Rink

AL L PHOTOS  BY  RIN K

What is your favorite Bay Area outdoor art, and where is it?

Orlando de la Garza

Marion Abdullah

BeBe Sweetbriar

Gregory Flores

Ken Smith

“The Clarion Alley murals in the Mission.”

“The Women’s Building murals.”

“The Women’s Building murals.”

“The Coit Tower murals.”

“The rocket on the water sculpture.”

12

BAY   TIMES JULY 2 5 , 2 0 1 3


Arts&Entertainment Wild and Provocative Breaking the Girls es—a la Strangers on a Train—that they swap murders. Alex will dispatch bitchy Brooke, if Sara can get rid of Alex’s annoying stepmother, Nina (Kate Levering), an artist. Breaking the Girls depicts what happens next, but it is best to let audiences discover that for themselves.

Film

Gary M. Kramer Jamie Babbit’s f ilms—T he Quiet and Itty Bitty Titty Committee among them—address strong female friendships. Her wild and provocative new feature, Breaking the Girls, now available on VOD, is no exception. It may be her most potent film yet. Sara (Agnes Bruckner) is a law student who tends bar. One night she meets Alex (Madeline Zima), and the two become more than fast friends— they become lovers. However, Sara may be pining for Eric (Shawn Ashmore), who is dating Brooke (Shanna Collins)—the very classmate who gets Sara fired from the bar that, in turn, cost her a scholarship. Sara copes with her losses by spending more time with Alex, who propos-

In a recent phone interview, Babbit discussed her film, which features villainous lesbians. “My initial instinct in this film was that I’ve always been more interested in Wild Things and Bound rather than Liana, Claire of the Moon or Bar Girls. I am a Patricia Highsmith fan. When I saw Strangers on a Train, there were two great male parts. The female parts were lame and pathetic. I wanted to give those juicy roles to women.” Women do get the choice material in the film. Breaking the Girls uses conventions of the crime genre—women as victims; women as gold-diggers; women fighting against women; and women who desire a man—before the denouement, which is explicitly lesbian/feminist. Babbit is proud of this accomplishment, and suggested, “Gwen [Turner] and I thought about what Highsmith would have written if she’d been open about her sexuality, and not forced to write in coded ways.” Fun fact: Babbit included an

homage to Highsmith in the form of a snail Sara keeps as a pet. (Highsmith, the f ilmmaker explained, had a pet snail, and brought it with her everywhere.) “Sara’s loyalty in the end is important to me,” Babbit revealed, although whom she is loyal to should not be disclosed. She continued, “One of the scenes in the film, which I initiated, is that [someone] in the end is gay. She will live a very queer life. The twists and turns enliven the mystique, and that’s fascinating to me—where it’s more dangerous to be gay. That’s my inherent interest in hidden sexuality.” The f ilm’s super-intense female friendship drives the story. As Breaking the Girls unfolds, the actresses had to be clear on where each character’s romantic allegiance lies in a particular scene as secrets are revealed and betrayals occur at a dizzying rate in the last act. She praised one actress, in particular, who “remembered the context [of things] better than I did!” Since the drama depicts a series of love triangles that force two-plotting-

against-one, how does Babbit herself deal with betrayal? She responded, candidly, “Life is full of betrayals, which is something I just expect. This is why I explore that theme in my films. That’s the cycle of relationships. People betray me in my life, but I’m still friendly with them. I’m a lesbian to the core! I’m still friends with all my exes.” The filmmaker admitted that she had two kids during a 14-year relationship, and is now with another woman. She is extremely out and proud. However, her characters are a bit more ambiguous. Sara’s sexuality is initially unclear, given that she doesn’t tell a flirtatious young man at the bar she tends that she’s not into guys before hooking up with Alex. Babbit said she felt that Sara is bisexual but, “She’s not really straight, either. She’s kind of lost.” She explained further, “I feel all the [main female] characters are queer. Originally there was a sex scene between Sara and Eric, and I didn’t want to film that. But I really liked the pool

scene—I wanted the guy to be taken down in a titillating threesome.” The “pool scene” in question has Sara and Alex and Eric alternating kisses until the girls make it quite clear to Eric that they want him out of the pool to be alone together. “Poor Shawn,” the f ilmmaker bemoaned about actor Shawn Ashmore, who was in Babbit’s The Quiet before playing Eric here. “I keep putting him in my movies as the dupe.” Viewers may feel duped when they see Breaking the Girls as the f ilm’s twisty narrative prompts a recalibration of motives and events several times before the end credits. But this “keep-viewers-guessing” quality is what makes Babbit’s film so deliciously entertaining. © 2013 Gary M. Kramer Gary M. Kramer is the author of “Independent Queer Cinema: Reviews and Interviews,” and the co-editor of the forthcoming “Directory of World Cinema: Argentina.” You can follow him on Twitter @garymkramer.

Molly Ringwald: Actress, Author and Jazz Vocalist pianist, and she started singing with his band when she was three years old. She released her first album, I Wanna Be Loved By You, at age six.

Music Shelley MacKay While many people may only know Molly Ringwald as an actress, or specifically as the teen star of many 1980‘s films like Pretty In Pink, The Breakfast Club and Sixteen Candles, she’s also a published author and a jazz vocalist. In fact, she’s actually been singing longer than she’s been acting. Her father, Bob Ringwald, is a jazz

Well, Molly’s second long-awaited album is f inally upon us. Except... Sometimes was released by Concord Records this past April and is a compilation of songs from The Great American Songbook, what Molly describes as “national treasures.” Except…Sometimes was produced by Peter Smith and features Clayton Cameron on drums, Allen Mezquida on alto saxophone, Peter Smith on piano and Trevor Ware on bass. July 11th-13th Molly debuted her vocals at the brand new San Francisco concert venue, Society Cabaret. This particular series of shows was at The Starlight Room in the historic Sir Francis Drake Hotel. She graced the stage with an intimate, unpretentious elegance and a voice that is warm, inviting and oh so sweet.

While I couldn’t help but feel she was holding back at times, she brought tears to my eyes on ballads like, “I Get Along Very Well Without You (Except Sometimes)” and “The Very Thought of You.” When she spontaneously added “Mean To Me” into her set towards the end of the night, we experienced her full range and the power behind her voice. “Mean To Me” is a song I have also sung many times and I was inspired by her interpretation. In addition, being a vocalist who loves the challenge of constructing a jazz tune out of a top 40 hit, I thoroughly enjoyed the jazz arrangement of “Don’t You (Forget About Me),” which she sang as her closing song of the night. (It’s also the final track on her album.) It is the theme song by Simple Minds from one of Molly’s blockbuster hits in the 80’s, The Breakfast Club. Molly included this on the album as a way to pay tribute to her mentor and colleague, director, pro-

ducer and screenwriter, John Hughes, whom Molly worked with on many films during her adolescence. We learned that Molly has a special tie to Society Cabaret because she was childhood friends with one of the founding members, G. Scott Lacy. She revealed this relationship when she said, “We knew two things about Scott when we were kids. One was that he was gay and the other was that he loved to play the piano. I think both are still true.” The additional founders of Society Cabaret include Tim Heitman as the General Manager, Paula Heitman as the Director of Marketing, and Christopher M. Nelson as Director of Artist Relations. Next month, Society Cabaret will feature two-time SAG Award winner Bryan Batt in his one-man show, “Batt On A Hot Tin Roof,” August 15th - 17th. While I first fell in love with him as Darius in the 1990’s film Jeffrey, he’s most recently known for

his TV role as Salvatore Romano on Mad Men. Shelley MacKay is a Bay Area-based jazz, pop, r&b and rock vocalist/songwriter. Learn more at www.shelleysings.com. BAY   T IM ES JULY 25, 2013

13


Sister Dana Sez: Words of Wisdumb from a Fun Nun please put some bucks in the buckets of The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence at the gates, ‘cause the money goes to good causes. In order to accommodate the newly enacted SF nudity ordinance, from which the UYA fairgrounds is exempt, coat check will be available on 10th Street between the food court and Folsom Street.

Sister Dana sez, “Hey fellow pervs, Dore Alley Fair — aka Up Your Alley — is cumming! Suit up in your best leather/fetish gear and beat a path to SOMA! If you miss this, you will beat yourself up!” UP YOUR ALLEY is a fabulous fetish fair, always on the last weekend of July in South of Market. Sunday, July 28, 11am-6pm, on Folsom Street between 9th and 11th Streets. It’s affectionately known as Folsom Street Fair’s little brother - because it’s smaller and more compact. It’s best when participated in, rather than spectated at – and not for the faint of heart. Don’t be a tourist; be a purist. There are sweaty athletes in full kit, motorcycle studs, hairy-chested muscle men, leather daddies and mamas galore. Leather and feathers and everything in between. If you’re into it, there’s a scene for you that will be right Up Your Alley. With over 10,000 sexy leatherfolk, you’re sure to find your match. Leather and fetish enthusiasts engage in serious BDSM play - right on the street! The fair features over 50 vendor booths, hot food and cold stiff drinks, boot black stations, and a dance area with the hottest DJ’s located at the intersection of 10th and Folsom. Check out this only-in-San Francisco event that attracts your most self-indulgent band of revelers. And

A nd the night of U YA is the off ic i a l c lo s i n g p a r t y, P L AY TDANCE: THE BL ACK PARTY, July 28, 5pm to midnight at Mezzan ine, 4 4 4 Jesse St reet. Ti x at ticketf ly.com. W hile we’re speak ing of dances, M A N DA NC E wa s a ter ps icho rean treat at Mar ines Memor ia l T heat re a s a f u nd ra iser for t he R IC H MON D/ E R M E T A I D S F O U N D A T I O N . Fo u n d e d i n San Francisco, A rt ist ic Director Bryon Heinrich designed MDC for dancers who can express their athleticism, sensuality, and compassion free of restraint. This was M a n D a nc e c omp a n y ’s 5 t h a n n iversa r y a l l-st a r ga la. HOL LYWOOD K NIGHTS was a touching tr ibute to Fred A sta ire, Gene K e l l y, a n d G r e g o r y H i n e s set to R ach m a n i nov ’s “ R hap sody on a T heme of Pa g i n i n i.” BE YO N D BROK E B AC K wa s a cowboy choreog raphy of my favor ite same-sex countr y western romance mov ie. ON BROA DWAY fe a t u r e d t h e b e s t m a l e d a n c e moments of Broadway, including “ I Feel P ret t y,” “Fidd ler on t he

P HOTO  B Y   RIN K

By Sister Dana Van Iquity

But the night before, BAY OF PIGS is the official UYA hot fetish party, Saturday, July 27, 10pm-4am, 525 Harrison Street, featuring DJ Frank Wild and DJ Eddie Martinez. Sexy dancers, demos, plentiful play spaces. Tix at Folsom Street Events @ Eventbrite. Frameline director of exhibition and programming Desire Buford at the Frameline Volunteer Appreciation Party at the Stud bar on July 9.

Roof,” and “Singin’ in the Rain.” NUTCR ACKOR was a sneak peek of M a n Da nce’s December 20 t h Wo r l d P r e m i e r e . S e t i n 19 77 Ca st ro, it center s a rou nd Fr it z and Clara as t hey v isit Ha r vey M i l k’s ca mera shop on Ch r istmas morning. Inspired by Milk’s photos, they dream-travel to meet t he Ku rd i sh Pea coc k & M ay a n Goddess of Flowers. M AGNET, the hub of health and wel lbeing for gay/bi men in t he Castro, held their 10TH A NNIVERSARY PART Y at their 18th a nd C a s t r o he a d qu a r t er s . Ten years to that day, they opened in 2003 (Sister Dana attended their glorious christening) with a staf f of f ive, no volunteer s, a nd pro jected to see about 1,020 g uys a year. This was a brand new concept for an STD clinic - with the front being all windows, allowing v isibi l it y and not shame for cl ients within. This year, with a staf f (continued on page 18)

International Recording Artist Raquela

When the tragedy of 9/11 occurred, Broadway producers switched gears in their casting, launching Raquela into a different direction. She realized it was time to reinvent herself.

Gems of The Bay Kippy Marks In this installment of Gems of the Bay, I bring you singer/songwriter and international recording artist, Raquela. Born in Concord, California, and raised in Sacramento, Raquela is a powerhouse of entertainment. At the age of 7, Raquela began her musical journey. By the age of 9 she was learning to play the guitar, and by the age of 11 she transcended into singing opera. Raquela is the oldest of three children. She has a sister (2 years younger) and brother (7 years younger) from the loving parents of Fred and Elizabeth Burt.

Check out more from the

Bay Times

@ sfbaytimes.com. 14

BAY   TIMES JULY 2 5 , 2 0 1 3

Raquela studied opera at Biola University for 3 years, but then decided Broadway was what she really wanted. She now holds a BFA from UC Irvine and worked on Broadway for 18 years. While on Broadway, Raquela wrote an electronica musical called “Confessions of a Disco Diva,” which

She connected with WKTU, where she found a manager (Larry Vee) who helped begin her recording career. She found herself opening for legendary Freestyle Pop stars like Judy Torres, Jonny O, George LaMond, Stevie B and Susie Q. Raquela’s musical inf luences are based on strong women performers such as Shannon, Annie Lennox, Donna Summer and Barbra Streisand. “It doesn’t matter to me if others f ind me so different,” Raquela says. “I know who I am. Despite the fact that I was severely bullied, have A.D.D. and dyslexia, my music and my voice will always define who I really am.” Raquela has hit Billboard 5 times, placing twice near the Top 40. She is a member of the Grammys and is currently working with Paul Brewer (Sweet Feet Music), DJ X, local SF favorite Tweaka Turner and legendary artist/producer, Leo Frappier (Hit Save Music). Raquela is also now raising funds for her new dance record project, “OMG, I Just Keep On Dancin’, which will take place at The Edge Bar on September 9 in San Francisco.

Raquela is an avid humanitarian and gives her talents endlessly toward many charitable organizations. She also holds several titles within the community she loves. These titles include Sacramento Imperial Court “Imperial Princess of Song,” Sacramento Ducal Court “1st Lady of Melodies,” San Francisco Ducal Court “Dame of the Royal Lullabies and Song of Gold,” Alameda Ducal Court “Lady Songbird of the Ginjerberry,” and Mama’s Family “Mama’s Superstar.” For more info and performance dates, please visit www.raquela.com. Violinist Kippy Marks entertains audiences worldwide with his inspirational compositions and lively perfor mances that draw from classical , jazz, blues and dance. www.kippy marks.us

PH OTO C O URTE SY OF K I PP Y MAR K S

was workshopped at NYU. She was nominated for an Obie award and later received many Best Actress awards from her kindred Broadway community.


Round About – AIDS WALK 2013 – Photos by Cathy Blackstone

PHOTO COURTESY OF M ISHA COHEN

Thousands gathered in Golden Gate Park on Sunday, June 22, for the 27th Annual San Francisco A IDS Walk benef iting the SF A IDS Foundation. Bay Times photographer Cathy Blackstone particpated with the AIDS Legal Referral Team. Bay Times designated walker Doc Misha Cohen walked the 10k route with the Quan Yin Healing Arts Center Team. More than 700 teams participated raising $2,516,676, as reported by the sponsoring organization.

BAY   T IM ES JULY 25, 2013

15


compiled by Robert Fuggiti

See many more Calendar items @ www.sfbaytimes.com

The Oakland Art + Soul Festival will be held in downtown Oakland August 3-4.

Bacon, Babes & BINGO – Café DuNord. $10. 7 pm to 11 pm. (2170 Market St.) www.baconbabesandbingo.com. Join hosts Dottie Lux, Sassy Hotbuns for an evening of Bacon, Babes and BINGO. Tubesteak Connection – Aunt Charlie’s. $4. 10 pm. (133 Turk St.) www.auntcharlieslounge.com. Dance the night away to great

music and a fun crowd at one of the best gay dive bars in town. 80’s Night – Cat Club. $6. 9 pm to 3 am. (1190 Folsom St.) www. sfcatclub.com. Serving up drink specials and classic 80’s hits all night long.

Jacqui Naylor Quartet – SF Jazz Center. $20-$40. 7:30 pm. (201 Franklin St.) www.sfjazz.org. Jazz

diva Jacqui Naylor hosts a special show with a portion of the proceeds to benefit San Francisco Domestic Violence Consortium. This Just In – Bayfront Theater. $17. 8 pm. (B350 Fort Mason Center) www.improv.org. BATS’ takes on politics, current events, and the day’s news. The stories behind the news you won’t hear anywhere else - because BATS just made them up! Also July 19 & 26. I Love the 90’s – Madrone Art

Bar. $5. 10 pm. (500 Divisadero St.) www.madroneartbar.com. A 90’s themed party happening every fourth Friday complete with nostalgic music and images of the decade.

Bay of Pigs – Factory. $30. 10 pm to 4 am. (525 Harrison St.) www.folsomstreetevents.com. The only official Saturday night dance event of Up Your Alley Street Fair. Treasure Island Flea – Treasure Island. $3. 10 am to 4 pm. (Treasure Island) www.treasureislandflea.com. Shop art, antiques, clothes, furniture and more at this popular monthly flea market. La Bota Loca – Club 21. $5. 9 pm to 4 am. (2111 Franklin St.) www.club21oakland.com. A weekly Latino dance party with hot go-go dancers and strong drinks.

Chance – Alcove Theatre. $40$60. 8 pm. (414 Mason St.) www. chancethemusical.com. A musical play about love, risk, and getting it right. Inspired by quotes from the writings of Oscar Wilde. Through July 28. Up Your Alley Street Fair – Dore Alley. Free. 11 am to 6 pm. (Dore Alley & Folsom St.) www.folsomstreetevents.org. An unrivaled fetish fair not for the faint of heart. Third Annual LGBT Family Day – Contemporary Jewish Museum. $12. 11 am. (736 Mission St.) www.keshetonline.org. Enjoy a day with old friends and new at the Contemporary Jewish Museum.

16

BAY   TIMES JULY 2 5 , 2 0 1 3

Monday Night Bluegrass – Amnesia. Free. 6 pm. (853 Valencia St.) www.amnesiathebar.com. Enjoy a night of Bluegrass music every Monday night at this cozy mission bar. Radical Vinyl – El Rio. Free. 8 pm. (3158 Mission St.) www.elriosf. com. A revolving cast of well known record collectors spin the most eclectic mix of vinyl you’ll find in San Francisco. Piano Bar 101 – Martuni’s. Free. 9 pm. (4 Valencia St.) www.dragatmartunis.com. Sing along to your favorite songs with friends and patrons.

Still Here - The Garage. $15. 8 pm. (715 Bryant St.) www.715bryant.com. Still Here presents new work by artists raised in San Francisco during the 80s and 90s and still living in the Bay Area. Swim for L.I.F.E. Party – Sports Basement. Free. 6 pm to 8 pm. (1590 Bryant St.) www.shanti. org. Come mingle with swimmers and friends of Shanti while enjoying free drinks, snacks, and shopping to support the L.I.F.E. Program. Trivia Night – Hi Tops. Free. 10 pm. (2247 Market St.) www. hitopssf.com. Test your trivia knowledge at this popular sports bar.

Castro Farmers Market – Noe St. at Market. Free. 4 pm to 8 pm. (Noe St. At Market) www.


pcfma.com. Enjoy fresh produce and local made foods and delicacies. Happening every Wednesday. Red Hot Burlesque – El Rio. $5. 7 pm. (3158 Mission St.) www. elriosf.com. A hot, outrageous women’s burlesque show happening every Wednesday and Friday. Candlelight Flow Community Yoga – LGBT Center. Free. 7 pm to 8 pm. (1800 Market St.) www.sfcenter.org. Replenish your energy level with a weekly “Candlelight Flow” class.

Throwback Thursdays – Q Bar. Free. 9 pm to 2 am. (456 Castro St.) www.qbarsf.com. Playing dance and house music from the ‘80s and ‘90s with 2 for 1 drinks all night. Nightlife – California Academy of Sciences. $12. 6 pm to 10 pm. (55 Music Concourse Dr.) www.noisepop.com. Enjoy a fun evening of science, cocktails and live music. Underwear After Party – Powerhouse. Free. 10 pm. (1347 Folsom St.) www.powerhouse-sf. com. A weekly underwear party with $1 drink specials and free clothes check.

Respect: A Musical Journey of Women – Sierra Repertory Theatre. $26-$32. 7 pm. (13891 Mono Way, Sonora) www.sierrarep. org. An international hit musical that tells the story of women through popular music. Through September 1. Some Thing – The Stud. $5. 10 pm. (399 9th St.) www.studsf.com. A uniquely themed party every Friday night, with drag performances at 11 pm.

Friday Nights at the De Young – De Young Museum. $11. 6 pm to 8:45 pm. (50 Hagiwara Tea Garden Dr.) www.deyoung.famsf. org. Enjoy the museum in a fun, festive and dynamic atmosphere with live music and cocktails.

Art + Soul Festival – Downtown Oakland. $15. 12 pm to 7 pm. (14th St. And Broadway, Oakland) www.artandsouloakland. com. Enjoy two sensational days of art, music and food in downtown Oakland. Also August 3.

Midnight Show – Divas. $10. 10 pm. (1081 Post St.) www.divassf. com. The premier transgender club in San Francisco, with live DJs and performances.

Sundayz – Beatbox. $8. 3 pm. (314 11th St.) www.beatboxsf.com. The best t-dance party in town with a newly renovated dance floor and state of the art sound system.

40th Annual Nihonmachi Street Festival – Japantown. Free. 11 am to 6 pm. (Filmore St. And Post St.) www. Nihonmachistreetfair.org. Don’t miss one of the longest running community street fairs in the City.

Jock – Lookout. $2. 3 pm to 9 pm. (3600 16th St.) www.lookoutsf. com. A weekly fundraising party for Bay Area LGBT sports groups.

Ten Percent with David Perry – Comcast On Demand. Free. 11:30 am & 10:30 pm. (Comcast On Demand) www. davidperry.com. David Perry talks with Joe Landini, founder of SAFEhouse and The Garage.

Gay Bowling – Mission Bowling Club. $15. 5 pm to 8 pm. (3176 17th St.) www.missionbowlingclub. com. Mix, mingle and meet new friends at this weekly bowling social. Full bar and restaurant inside club. Cock and Bull Mondays – Hole in the Wall Saloon. Free. 8 pm to 2 am. (1369 Folsom St.) www. holeinthewallsaloon.com. Enjoy an easy-going crowd and drink specials all night.

Beach Blanket Babylon – Club Fugiazi. $25-$48. 8 pm. (678 Beach Blanket Babylon Blvd.) www. beachblanketbabylon.com. Beach Blanket Babylon, the world’s longest running musical revue, is a high energy pop culture satire and is the perfect night out with friends.

Last Drag – SF LGBT Community Center. Free. 7 pm to 9 pm. (1800 Market St.) www.lastdrag.org. A free quit smoking class for LGBT smokers. Meetings happen every Wednesday. Through September 11.

Secret Lovers – Lexington Club. Free. 9 pm to 2 am. (3464 19th St.) www.lexington club.com. Featuring guest DJ’s Katie Duck, Ponyboy, and Durt playing oldies, R&B, soul. Booty Call - Q Bar. $4. 10 pm to 2 am. (456 Castro St.) www.qbarsf. com. Juanita More! hosts this weekly party with hot guys, strong drinks and fun dance mash ups.

Block Party – Midnight Sun. Free. 9 pm. (4067 18th St.) www. midnightsunsf.com. Enjoy weekly screenings of your favorite music videos. Meow Mix – The Stud. Free. 9 pm. (399 9th St.) www.studsf.com. A weekly cabaret variety show with drink specials.

BAY   T IM ES JULY 25, 2013

17


(PROFILES continued from page 8) 90s. I currently sit on the National Minority AIDS Council board. All these organizations and their work ref lect the communities and issues that I truly care about. I am proudest of all the work I’ve been able to do over the past few years at A&PI Wellness Center. In my seven years as A&PI Wellness Center’s executive director, I’m proud that I have been able to lead our organization through a pretty challenging economic environment toward a place of strength and vibrancy. I am proud that A&PI is now helping to take care of the entire transgender community of San Francisco. I am proud that we have

(ROSTOW continued from page 9) There’s no need for a trial, Lambda wrote. With DOMA gone, it’s obvious as a matter of law that civil unions are a second-class status, closing the door to all federal benefits that married couples may access. I have to believe that the court will agree, and I have to assume that the state supreme court will eventually agree as well. The question is when. How long will it take for these legal maneuvers to play themselves out? It could be a bang bang set of rulings, delivering New Jersey into the equal rights column in a matter of months. Or, it could be another year or more of bull pucky messing around from these cravenly lame New Jersey courts. One thing is sure. New Jersey is high up on the list

expanded to providing free medical services to anyone and everyone in San Francisco who needs health care. I am proud to have recently worked with my board of directors to revise our mission statement to transform lives by advancing health, wellness and equality. SS: What are your future goals and aspirations? LT: I love that I call San Francisco my home. My husband and I have raised an amazing child in our City. I have a home with my husband. When I think about the future, I know that I will continue to contribute to our City and

of states targeted for marriage equality and our community is pouring a lot of money into the activist coffers. Over 60 percent of citizens support equality, and the state is poised to capitulate in the near future. Despicable Them Our column has come to an end before I have had a chance to weigh in on George Zimmerman and the six imbeciles who decided his fate. It’s probably just as well, because my emotional and intellectual reaction to this verdict could fill pages. Yes, I respect the jury system. Yes, I know the inept prosecution did Martin no favors. Yes, I know that the jury

(SISTER DANA SEZ continued from page 14) of 18 and 90 volunteers, Magnet f lag as a mini-dress. The troupe has ser ved over 7,0 0 0 cl ients in pu l led up i n t heir Spice Va n to the last six months - with a pro- var ious locat ions to l ip sy nc for jected 15,000 clinical visits by the t he unsuspect ing aud iences. A fend of the year. Magnet is also a ter that, R isque threw a delightcomfy entertainment lounge and f u l pa r t y i n her home w it h her art galler y showcasing dif ferent, hubby Thomas, where videos of talented local artists every month. the real Spice Girls showed on the big screen - a long w ith the faux “ We bel ieve t hat g ay men ca re group’s f ilmed antics. Zigazig ah! about their health and the health of t hei r pa r t ner s , a nd t hat g ay CUMMING UP! men have a right to current and A fabulous one-night-only perforaccurate information about their mance by NA DYA GINSBU RG hea lt h, a nd w i l l, i n t ur n, ma ke w i l l b e M A D O N NA L O G U E S ! decisions to protect their health,” imitating Madge the Magnif icent, s a id E xec ut ive D i r ec tor S t e v e August 6th, 8pm at Rebel nightG ib s o n . “ He a lt h i nc lude s s e x club, 1760 Market Street. Ginsand sexua l it y; but a lso includes burg has been called “the woman t he hea lt h of ou r rel at ion sh ips of a thousand voices;” Roseanne with each other, our sexual partBarr has said she is “ brilliant;” ner s, our fr iends, a nd our relaJoa n R iver s ca l ls her “per fectionships with each other and our t ion;” Perez H i lton has ca l led diverse communities.” her a “g en iu s;” a nd A l R oker Gibson introduced the staf f; Su- thinks “she rules!” But don’t take per v i sor S cot t W iener l auded t heir a nd my word for it: check out youtube.com/nadyag insburg the organization; and State Senato get a taste of her smart, sassy tor Ma rk L eno sent a Cer t i f isatire. Ginsburg is co-creator and cate of Commendat ion. Mag net st a r of photog r apher a nd f i l mi n SF is ser v i ng as a model nama ker Aust i n Young’s webisode t iona l ly w it h M ag net-l i ke c l i nser ies, “ T he Wor m,” where she ics open ing - a mong ot hers - in pl ay s M a don n a , C her, Br it ne y Los Angeles, Seattle, and Boston, S p e a r s , W i non a Ryder, G lor i a and internationally in Vancouver, S t e i n e m , a n d a G i a nt Wo r m . Canada, Barcelona, Cape Town, Tix at the door, and advance at Austra lia, Beijing, Moscow, and brownpapertickets.com. Lima, Peru. THE SPICE GIRLS came to the Castro! Well, not the actual Spice Girls, but a f ine facsimile of the Brit pop stars. One of my favorite gay male nuns, Sister Risque of the Sissytine Chapel, a member in good standing with The SF S i st er s of Per pet u a l I ndu l gence, held her 40th birthday at several outdoor spots in the Castro, City Hall, and Dolores Park. She is the only drag queen among four faux queens dressed like the S pice Gi rl s . R i s que (a s Gi ng er S pic e) b old l y wor e t he Br it i s h 18

BAY   TIMES JULY 2 5 , 2 0 1 3

SW IM F OR L .I.F.E . shopping par t y at Spor t s Basement, 159 0 B r y a nt a nd 15 t h S t r e et s , s u p ports SH A NTI, Wednesday, July 30th, 6 - 8pm. Come mingle w ith sw immers and fr iends of Shant i at Sports Basement and enjoy free drinks and snacks, while shopping to support the L .I.F.E. Program, a free, evidence-based health enhancement program for individua ls l iv ing w it h H I V. L i feg uards not provided. RU N WAY S I LV E R i s t he 25t h annual MR. A ND MISS GA PA

I am humbled to be able to do this through my work at A&PI Wellness Center. I’m inspired by the passage of the Affordable Care Act and all that it means for all of us. We have plans to become a patient-centered medical home to serve LGBT individuals and so many in the Tenderloin. Stu Smith is board chair emeritus of Shanti Project, board chair of The Paratransit Coordinating Council, a member of the Castro Country Club Advisory Board and the LGBT Senior Task Force, and producer and host of the public access TV program “The Drag Show.” KQED has honored Stu as a 2013 LGBT Hero.

didn’t hear everything that we might have heard. Yes, Florida has their outrageous stand your ground law. Yes, it’s hard to rebut the idea that George Zimmerman felt threatened. But for all of that, it’s not hard to look at the plain facts and see that this man shot an unarmed teenager to death for no reason. Period! Did they get into a fight? Maybe! Who cares? Zimmerman was armed and had fifty pounds on Martin. His life was never threatened, and he can’t just “say” he feared for his safety and get away with it! The verdict was sickening and it deserves no parsing. It was horribly wrong. arostow@aol.com

PAGE A N T hosted by C om mun it y Icon Tit a A ida, feat u r i ng M r. a nd M i s s GA PA 2 012 Je thro and Jezebel. It’s a fashion for wa rd f u nd ra iser for t he Gay Asian Pacif ic A lliance, Saturday, July 27, doors 6:30, show at 7pm at The Lam Research Theatre at Yerba Buena Center for the Arts, 3rd and Howard Streets. To commemorate GA PA’s 25th anniversary, they will be visiting the Silver Screen, honoring old and new Hollywood alike! Tix at ybca.org. BE BAD...DO GOOD: ACTIVISM W ITH A BEAT is the new multimedia exhibit at the Castro GL BT H I STORY M US E U M , 4127 18th Street, highlighting the h istor y of R E A L BA D, a queer dance part y held in conjunct ion w it h t he Fol som St reet Fa i r i n Sa n Fr a nc i sco. T h i s ma rk s t he 25t h a n n iver sa r y of t he a n nua l e v e nt . E nt i r e l y p r o d u c e d a n d funded by volunteers, t he par t y has raised nearly $1.7 million for lo c a l L GB T Q nonpr of it s . T he exhibit explores how compassion, c r e a t i v i t y, a n d c l u b c u l t u r e coalesced in the Real Bad dance ex t r ava g a n za st a r t i ng i n 19 8 8 . The exhibit features 1980s party ephemera; Rea l Bad posters, i nv it at ions a nd photos; a v ideo do c u ment a r y c u st om - m a de for t he show ; a nd a wa l l- si ze i n fo g raph ic t raci ng t he f und ra isi ng impact of the party over 25 years. T he ex h ibit r uns Aug ust 8t h through October 27th. Adult f lick pick: Musclebound from falconstudios.com. Sister Dana sez, “Recently, 216 Repugnicans voted to cut all funding for food stamps from the farm bill and to give agri-business big-shots a break. T h e y k n e w i t w o ul d fa ce a W h i t e House veto, but they passed it anyway. It was a statement of identity. T his is who they are. Repugnant!”


Round About – All Over Town – Photos by Rink

Frameline volunteer coordinator Alex Albers was emcee for the t-shirt contest at the Frameline Appreciation Party.

Attending Howl Legacy: The Continuing Battle of Free Expression, an Allen Ginsberg Festival poetry event at Shar’ar Zahav, were Jeffrey Lilly, Alan Kaufman, Rabbi Peretz WolfPrusan, Molly Daniels, Andrew Ramer, Wendy Brummer and Sam Sax.

Sam Simmons and Monica Lenk entertained dancing to the Frisky Frolics at the Silent Film Festival’s opening night party at McRoskey Mattress Company.

Board member Matthew Denckla with go-go dancer Race Cooper at Magnet’s 10th Anniversary Party.

Kathryn Zee and Jen Meyer at the Silent Film Festival’s open night party.

Volunteer Lambert hoisted his bag full of provocative presents at Frameline’s Appreciation Party.

Musician John Horne preformed at the Silent Film Festival’s opening night screening of “Prix de Beaute” at the Castro Theatre.

Supervisor Scott Wiener, Magnet’s Steve Gibson and Treasurer Jose Cisneros cut the celebratory cake at Magnet’s Party.

Entertainment Commissioner Brant Tan and bon vivant Ken Hamai at the Commission’s 10th Anniversary Party at Drake’s, former site of Trocadero Transfer.

Entertainment Commission co-founder Terrance Alan and Commissioner Audrey Joseph at the 10th Anniversary Party.

Rick Quisol and his Frisky Frolics Band performed at the Silent Film Festival’s party.

Under One Roof Team Leader and Volunteer Coordinator J.D. Schulz at the Castro Street pop-up store.

BAY   T IM ES JULY 25, 2013

19


2013 07 25