Ebook manual on transformation of intercultural conflict

CONFLICT TRANSFORMATION manual

edited by: Vincenzo LOTITO Sandro Salvatore ACCOGLI Marija BORG MIFSUD [ENGLISH VERSION]

MANUAL ON TRANSFORMATION OF INTERCULTURAL CONFLICT

The opinion expressed in this work are the responsibility of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the official policy and opinions of the European Union and the Apulia Region.

This project has been funded with support from the European Commission. This publication reflects the views only of the author, and the Commission cannot be held responsible for any use which may be made of the information contained therein.

SEYF - South Europe Youth Forum www.seyf.eu Edited by: : Vincenzo Lotito (vincenzo.lotito@seyf.eu) Sandro Salvatore Accogli (sandro.accogli@seyf.eu) All rights reserved

“Manual on transformation of intercultural conflict� by SEYF - South Europe Youth Forum is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribuzione - Non commerciale - Non opere derivate 3.0 Unported License.

Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available at www.seyf.eu.

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Index ZERO #Introduction, 5 I. The manual, 6 II. The project, 8 ONE #KNOWLEDGE: OURSELVES AND THE CONFLICT, 10 I. Knowing ourselves, 11 II. Knowing the conflict, 16 TWO #Analyzing THE CONFLICT, 20 I. The levels of conflict, 21 II. The Conflicts Styles and the ‘win win’ approach, 23 III. The conflict in the different European countries, 27 IV. Mapping the conflict, 32 THREE #WORKING and transforming THE CONFLICT, 34 I. The tools#1: Communication, 35 II. The tools#2: Intercultural dialogue, 38 III. The tools#3: Negotiation, 43 IV. The tools#4: Mediation, 48 FOUR #EVALUATING THE CONFLICT, 53 I. Evaluation and results, 53 REFERENCES, 60 CONTACTS, 64

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Chapter ZERO

#Introduction

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0. Introduction

I. THE MANUAL “Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success�

Henry Ford

This manual was created by SEYF - South Europe Youth and by all the young people and organizations that are currently working together with us for the promotion of best practices of participatory democracy and active citizenship, through new models of cooperation and networking.

The manual that you are going to browse, in which we hope that you will find ideas to improve the quality of your intercultural relations, it is not just confined to a mere publication, but it is a path (a process, as we like to call it) built on the willingness of many actors that represent the target of our daily work. Therefore, this work starts from the subjects, with the subjects, for the subjects through a cyclic process that involves all of us.

The subjects: young people and their travels through a society often encrusted on ideological positions, who are not provided with effective instruments of change, just indignation or resignation.

The subjects: operators in the sector (youth workers, trainers, volunteers) who often find themselves in facing critical situations with great experience and intercultural skills but, at the same times, with methodological shortcomings.

The subjects: all of us, that we live our everyday life personalizing the conflict, living often with great suffering towards each of the social partners involved.

The subjects of a conflict can be many, in personal relationships, at work or both

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0. Introduction

in the titanic struggle against the system that, at times, seems impossible to win.

In this experience, finally, we found that the conflict cannot be won, and, thus solved. There is no solution to the conflict.

Far from finding ad hoc solutions, we are going to try to transform the conflict.

This manual has not just been imagined as a practical handbook for the resolution (or transformation) of the conflict. We tried to make it as a notebook of our practices, some learned during previous experience, other ones brought as innovation by our operators.

At the end of this process, which is now a new beginning, we would like to thank all the people that strongly cooperated with us for successful (as we hope) outcomes.

In particular, we need to thank the donors which gave us opportunity to realise the project: the Agenzia Nazionale per i Giovani for the realisation the Training Course); the Regione Puglia for the support in editing and disseminating the current work; the Municipality of Caprarica di Lecce for helping us to settle a strong local dimension.

To our partners, the subjects of the project, our personal and special thankfulness for passion, support and cooperation: Forum Młodzieży Powiatu Mikołowskiego (Poland), South Europe Youth Forum Malta (Malta), Youth Center Haskovo (Bulgaria), Azerbaijani-American Youth Social Association (Azerbaijan), Research- Intellectual Club ‘’Dialogue of Generations’’ (Georgia), Qendra per Zhvillim Social (Albania), Podrostkovo- molodejniy dosugoviy centr «Frunzenskiy» (Russian Federation).

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0. Introduction

II. THE PROJECT “Art exceeded substance” Ovid, Metamorphoses, (II, 5)

R.O.C.K. – Resolution of Conflicts’ Kit is a Training Course realised under the Action 3.1 of Youth in Action Programme thanks to the Italian National Agency for Youth hosted from the Italian SEYF – South Europe Youth Forum. The Training Course welcomed 8 organizations from European Union and from Neighbouring Partner Countries with the involvement of 2 participants from each organization. The participants came from youth organizations that work with young people in Bulgaria, Poland, Italy, Malta, Russian Federation, Azerbaijan, Georgia and Albania.

The training course has been held in Caprarica di Lecce (Italy) from 14th to 19th may 2013.

During the 5 days of activities all the involved participants explored ways and examples on why and how conflicts can arise and in which way they can be approached for the best results. A space has been also set for participants to practice the skills gained through workshops dealing with practical situations of conflict that may happen during youth projects, about conflict management and having also possibility to get feedback from the trainers as well as from each other. The objectives reached: - to train 16 young people, youth workers and volunteers on how to prevent conflicting situations in youth work, especially in multicultural contexts; - to equip participants with tools on how to approach different conflicting situ-

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0. Introduction

ations in youth work; - to promote sharing of experiences and good practices on conflict resolution; - to explore impact of cultural misunderstandings in conflicting situation especially in Youth in Action projects; - to promote non-formal education approach as a powerful method of dealing with conflict; - to promote the Youth in Action Programme and the space and the support it gives to youngster to explore different topics in a multicultural environment; The whole Training Course has been based on non-formal education approach and Learning by Doing methodologies, in order to let the participants learn from experience and reflection, through the use of different methods such as: small/ big group work, role plays, simulation exercises, debates, theoretical input and practical work, real conflict cases to solve, etc. The ’Kolb Learning cycle’ has been applied during the whole program.

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A moment of the project, with the Municipality of Caprarica

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Chapter ONE

#Knowledge: ourselves and the conflict

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I. Knowledge

I. KNOWING OURSELVES “A human being has so many skins inside, covering the depths of the heart.

We know so many things, but we don’t know ourselves! Why, thirty or forty skins or hides, as thick and hard as an ox’s or bear’s, cover the soul. Go into your own ground and learn to know yourself there” Meister Eckhart

The best way to start a conversation is to present yourself.

On this assumption, we tried to start the training course on conflict transformation just starting from the people and their background. It was a crucial moment with the aim to break the ice, in order to start to deconstruct tensions and prejudices, to help the participants involved to feel free and to facilitate the creation of relationships of mutual and pleasant availability and understanding. In this way,it has been possible, later and progressively, to deal with the delicate issue of conflict in a healthy human and cultural context.

The activities, in this part of the cycle of the program, looked more like ‘welcoming activities’, planned for recreating the ideal and stimulating environment for working and cooperating. Thus, such these preliminary activities have been held outdoor, in a safe and relaxing place outside.

The activities realized went gradually deeper, in order to give the participants the possibility to know themselves, starting from names, hobbies, cultural attitudes and national and personal backgrounds. Thus, the participants, all coming from eight different countries, had the possibility to start calling each other by names, so that tensions and possible shyness were broken and it has been created a first common way to communicate, more emotional and empathetic, rather than English or Italian, demolishing linguistic obstacles so common in multicultural environments. The trainers himself took part to activities in order to break the barriers and to establish a peer to peer relationship with the participants.

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I. Knowledge

GESTURES

WHAT WE DID: The whole group of participants has been asked to stand in a circle, with a short distance among each other. Each participant had to say his/her name, country and associate her/himself to a gesture. After that, each participant had to repeat the name and gesture of all the previous participants, following the presentation’s order, and finally had to introduce her/himself, associating her/himself to a gesture. The rest of participants did the same, repeating all the names and gestures which preceded them. The game ended once the first participant to begin was also the last to end.

TIME OF ACTIVITY: 20 minutes.

OUTCOMES: The participants succeeded in interacting among themselves by recreating a common relaxed background and a safe cultural environment. They s t ar te d feeling more confident thanks to funny body movements and to know names and attitudes of other participants, thanks to a physical and recreational common language that broke the ice.

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Gestures: the activities realised on the chairs, in order to make it more funny, challenging and animated.

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I. Knowledge

First evaluation: Hopes, fears and contributions

WHAT WE DID: The trainer gave to each participant three post-it notes of three different colors. Then, he asked to write on each post-it accordingly to what they expected from the activity (hopes), what they were afraid that it could have happened during the training course (fears) and how they would have liken to contribute to the program (contributions) in order to make successful the activities.

Afterwards everybody stuck the three post-its on a specific flip-chart. Later on, the trainer summarized what came out from the notes and the participants commented the outcomes on their notes, in line with their will to discuss.

TIME OF ACTIVITY: 40 minutes.

OUTCOMES: the activity gave birth to a deep discussion on what the participants really expected from the training course. Mainly, their expectations were fo cus e d on the hope to know more about other people and about the conflict transformation and to learn how to solve their conflicts. Most of them were afraid to not interact enough with other people and to find the language as one of the biggest obstacles and, almost all of them, wished to contribute to a successful project by bringing their culture and their experience in the field of intercultural conflicts.

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Infographic of the first evaluation: hopes, fears and contributions collected during the activity.

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I. Knowledge

speed date

WHAT WE DID: The facilitator helped the group to be split the group in half and asked the two teams to line up facing each other by forming line A and B. Thus, the two teams had the same number of participants. Only participants in line B were moving. The facilitator gave a specific subject and 1-minute time, so the participants could disclose something about themselves with the person in front of them about the subject given.

After 1 minute, the trainer asked line B to change partner by moving 1 place and continue, like this, until the persons came again in front of their first partner.

TIME OF ACTIVITY: 20 minutes.

OUTCOMES: The activity gave the participants the possibility to go deeper in their acquaintance. After the name-game, they started knowing better themselves and had the opportunity to deal with issues related to their personal life (family, hobbies, work, study, favorite food, music, sports) and their cultural background (the country where they live, religion, experience in youth projects). Moreover, the activity let the participants start practicing communication skills in a foreign language.

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A moment during the speed date

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I. Knowledge

CHARADES RELAY

WHAT WE DID: The facilitator split the group into two big teams, each team far away from the other enough not to listen to the other team’s answers. Then, each team sent one person to the facilitator, who whispered the first word to each person and have the person to go back to his or her team: here the person had to let his/her team guess the word only using gestures and without talking.

When a team guessed the word that the person has acted out, someone new from the team had to run up to the facilitator to give the answer. If the answer was correct, then the facilitator whispered to that person the next word from the list. Everyone on the team had to take a turn before anyone can come up a second time.

TIME OF ACTIVITY: 20 minutes.

OUTCOMES: the activity, already experimented in previous intercultural experiences, is a charades competition where the teams “race the clock” to see how fast they can go through a list of items. The activity had a team-building effect for stimulating the creation of a whole team then able to work together on the issues of the training course. Moreover, the exercise stimulated different types of communication skills (non verbal communication).

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I. Knowledge

II. KNOWING THE CONFLICT “My only love sprung from my only hate!

Too early seen unknown, and known too late!

Prodigious birth of love it is to me, That I must love a loathed enemy” William Shakespeare Romeo and Juliet (I, 5)

Conflict is all around me.

Starting from this sentence, conflict could appear like something unavoidable, hanging on our heads like the sword of Damocles. In a certain way, it is! Nevertheless, when we start look at it from new, different perspectives, then we realize that the more we know about the conflict, the more we are skilled to deal with the conflict itself, with a long life learning attitude, like with all the necessary part of our life.

‘What is conflict?’

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Brainstorming session

In line with a non formal and peer to peer approach, the trainer started the course on conflict transformation by asking the participants with the above mentioned question.

A brainstorming session, based on the experiedge and the skills of the trainees, produced a flict and created a good, first defini­tion of conflict.

ences, the knowldeep analysis of con-

The outcomes of the brainstorming were interesting, since there were a lot of contributions to the definition of conflict. In particular, it came out that, accord-

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I. Knowledge

ing to the participants, conflict should be related to: - Values (about 35% of participants): ‘religion’, ‘different opinions’, ‘different perspectives’, ‘culture’; - Institutional Arrangements and structures (about 25% of participants): ‘power’, ‘war’, ‘properties’); - Interests (about 40% of participants): ‘oil’, ‘food’, ‘money’.

After that, the trainer stimulated a reflection time by recalling personal experiences of conflicts. He asked the participants to think about personal experiences of conflict and gave them 5 minutes to think about it in silence. Then, he started a new brainstorming session stimulated by two specific new questions.

6 - “Think of a conflict which has been handled in a destructive way. Please try to recall some of the outcomes”.

Brainstorming different types of conflict experienced

The results were different and interesting: disappointment; depression, low productivity, new types of obligations, irritability.

Then, the trainer asked to recall again a conflict, but: - “Think of a conflict which has been handled constructively. Please try to recall some of the outcomes” In this case, outcomes were: open minded, flexibility, new ways to deal with people, higher productivity, tolerance, new ideas, good health, empowerment, sense of achievement.

After the brainstorming sessions and the following discussions, the trainer

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I. Knowledge

slowly entered into the matter of the conflict and wrote on the flip-chart several definitions of conflicts: “Conflict is a form of competitive behaviour between people or groups. It occurs when two or more people compete over perceived or actual incompatible goals or limited resources” (Boulding 1962, cited in CDR 1986:2).

“A social conflict exists when two or more persons or groups manifest the belief that they have incompatible objectives” (Kreisberg 1988:2).

“Conflict relationship is one in which the parties have incompatible preferences; a co-operative relationship is one in which the parties can obtain highly preferred outcomes if they work together (e.g. marriage, employer-employee relationships). Most relationships involve a mixture of conflict and cooperation” (Kent 2000:4).

After the brainstorming realized by the participants and the definition introduced by the trainer, the latter helped them in classifying the types of conflicts recognized, upon a general classification. Thus, they found the classification: - Information: it happens when all the parties have not the same level of information, which generate frustration in parties. with a lower level of information.

- Relationships: it usually arises when there is a lack of proper communication among the parties who have the feeling / perception not to be valued enough by the other persons.

- Values: when these kind of conflicts arises it is difficult to quickly solve them and without some loss. Values are something essential and inescap­ able in all the cultures and conflicts on values are solvable only if the importance of values itself is contained and circumscribed in a bigger values’ background, agreed by all the parties, where all the values are recognized at the same level.

- Institutions and Structures: most of the times structural conflicts happens upon a previous conflict resolved with some agreement that put some of

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I. Knowledge

the parties in the condition to have a minor access to structures (economical, food, geographical, etc). These conflict are not easily solvable if the arrangements are not modified in favour of all the parties, which are inclined to fruitlessly struggle among themselves.

- Interests: these types of conflicts are generated by a competition over perceived or irreconcilable necessities. In this case, interests could be real and objective /measurable (resources and structures), could be emotional (trust, relationships, sense of inclusion) or they could regard the process of resolution of the conflict itself.

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Chapter TWO

# analyizing the conflict

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II. Analysis

I. The LEVELS of CONFLICT “A book must be an ice-axe to break the seas frozen inside our soul” Franz Kafka, Letter to Oskar Pollak

All conflicts are not the same. It depends on the level.

During this session the trainer helped the participants to understand, thanks to a cooperating brainstorming session, the different levels of conflict.

The trainer asked the participants to go back to the same experiences of conflicts recalled during the previous activity and to think, now, about its evolution during the time.

The trainer started asking when a conflict is recognizable, that is the exact moment when they realized that something wrong was happening. Then, he draw a curve on the flip-chart and wrote the word ‘crisis’ on the bottom of the curve.

Through a brainstorming session, the participants started to recall the feeling and the situation experienced during the crisis level. The session continued, and the trainer kept adding other words, alongside the curve, and asking the participants to share their feeling about the specific level of conflict. Thus, the outcomes were: - Step 1 - ‘discomfort’ (early stage of conflict, when people start feeling something wrong and have instinctive impressions and responses): ‘too much thinking’, ‘doubts’, ‘irritations’, ‘untrust’ ‘uncomfortable’; - Step 2 - ‘Incident’ (something seemingly irrelevant happened which has left us irritated): ‘personal delegations/obligations’, ‘something minor happen-

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II. Analysis

ing’, cup of tea thrown’, ‘bad words said’, ‘things unexpected/unwanted’; - Step 3 - ‘Misunderstanding’ (when thing are starting to become unclear and the problems are being more focused on minor events): “He says ‘I like you’ but I understand ‘You don’t like me’ “, ‘culture’ ‘religion’, ‘communication’, ‘behaviour’, ‘languages’.

- Step 4 - ‘Tension’ (a key point, a turning moment in which things may go from bad to worse for any possible, irrelevant reason): ‘confusion’, ‘not bearing’, ‘uneasy’, ‘confusion’.

- Step 5 - ‘Crisis’ (when thing change, transformation of conflict happens definitely, for better or for worse): depression, rights, extinctions, confusion, obness, uncomfortable, layoff from

n o ligation, not bearing, uneasiwork.

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The levels of conflict: the curve

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II. Analysis

II. Conflicts styles and ‘win win’ approach “If you want to make peace with your enemy, you have to work with your enemy. Then he becomes your partner” Nelson Mandela

All conflicts are not the same. It depends on the style.

The aim of this session is to let the participants understands the uniqueness of the human being involved in a potential conflict, in order to know better who they are and, thus, to give them the opportunity to focus more on their strengths and weaknesses. Everyone of us has his/her own conflict’ styles, depending on our behaviour, personality, cultural background, history. Thanks to the Conflict Mode Model, developed by Thomas, K. W. and Kilmann, R. H., the participants had the opportunity to reflect on their own style and to start a reflection on their behaviour during any type of conflicting situation.

The model, based on a two-dimensional z-axis, puts cooperation on x-axis (the so-called ‘relationship based approach’) and assertiveness on y-axis (the socalled ‘issue based approach’). The first, cooperation, is the tendency to accomplish other’s people goals and aims, in order to satisfy the others more than him/herself. The second tendency, assertiveness, is more aimed to individuality and to the inclination to satisfy only one’s part interests.

On this model, there are 5 different styles identified in 5 different animals, that attribute each person to a general attitude towards conflict. The styles are: - The shark (‘Competition’ style): ‘I win - You Lose’, style completely based on assertiveness and on an issue based approach, typical of persons who take control of situation depending on their own needs.

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II. Analysis

- The Teddy Bear (‘accommodating’ style): ‘I Lose - You Win’, style completely based on cooperation and a relationship based approach, typical of persons who get away from conflict for not losing relationships.

- The Turtle (‘avoiding’ style): ‘I Lose - You ?’, unassertive and uncooperative style which tries to avoid situations, escaping from responsibilities, never reaching goal for him/herself neither for the others.

- The Fox (‘compromising’ style): ‘I win & lose - You win & lose’; the imperfect average, based both on assertiveness and cooperation, typical of persons who try to find fast solution good for all the parties. In this case, everyone loses something during the process.

- The Owl (‘collabrating’ style): ‘I win - You win’. A cooperative focused on people results (issues-based).

ostyle both assertive and (relationship-based) and

In order to facilitate the identification of the style by each participant, the trainer gave to everyone a sheet with a test for helping them to recognize their own style. The test, based on the Conflict Mode Model, has obviously a suggestive value, only for giving them some input of reflection.

Below, the Test managing style used for the exercise.

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The model of conflict’s styles

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II. Analysis

What's Your Conflict Management Style Instructions: Listed below are 15 statements. Each strategy provides a possible strategy for dealing with a conflict. Give each a numerical value (i.e., 1=Always, 2=Very often, 3=Sometimes, 4= Not very often, 5= Rarely, if ever.) Don't answer as you think you should, answer as you actually behave. ____ a. I argue my case with peers, colleagues and coworkers to demonstrate the merits of the position I take. ____ b. I try to reach compromises through negotiation. ____ c. I attempt to meet the expectation of others. ____ d. I seek to investigate issues with others in order to find solutions that are mutually acceptable. ____ e. I am firm in resolve when it comes to defending my side of the issue. ____ f. I try to avoid being singled out, keeping conflict with others to myself. ____ g. I uphold my solutions to problems. ____ h. I compromise in order to reach solutions. ____ i. I trade important information with others so that problems can be solved together. ____ j. I avoid discussing my differences with others. ____ k. I try to accommodate the wishes of my peers and colleagues. ____ l. I seek to bring everyone's concerns out into the open in order to resolve disputes in the best possible way. ____ m. I put forward middles positions in efforts to break deadlocks. ____ n. I accept the recommendations of colleagues, peers, and coworkers. ____ o. I avoid hard feelings by keeping my disagreements with others to myself.

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II. Analysis

Scoring: The 15 statements you just read are listed below under five categories.

Each category contains the letters of three statements. Record the number you placed next to each statement. Calculate the total under each category.

Results: My dominant style is _________________________________ (Your LOWEST score) and my back-up style is_______________________________ (Your second Lowest score)

The results have been interesting, since some people at the beginning did not recognize their own style: some of them for a sort of shyness, some others for the pride to not admit their style (if seen too much ‘weak’ or ‘bad’), some of them did not trust the validity of the test itself.

Besides, the real purpose of the activity was not to identify the exact style of everyone, but to incite the participants to have a moment of reflection and discussion on their personal styles and a comparison among their different attitudes.

Far from suggestion from the trainer of ‘the perfect style’, the participants succeeded in realizing that every styles has got a type of conflict: during the discussion they compared the different conflicts experienced and recognized that there are conflicts that needs a shark- competition style (e.g. conflict that went beyond the ‘tension-crisis’ level) and conflict that,still being in a ‘security level’ can be managed with a owl/collaborating style.

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II. Analysis

III. The conflict in the different European countries

“I am at peace with God. My conflict is with Man�

Charlie Chaplin

Conflicts may vary from country to country. Even the perception of conflict.

After the introduction and analysis of conflict, participants were ready enough to deal with their national backgrounds and the conflicts that they daily experience in their countries.

The sharing of experiences, implemented through non formal methodologies and a peer to peer approach, has been made through two exercises: the sharing of knowledge about the places of origin of the participants and an activity of analysis of prejudices and stereotypes about countries.

The first activity - sharing of experiences - has been implemented through a basic exchange and sharing of knowledge, with a peer to peer approach. The participants were asked to join their compatriots. Every national group was provided with flip-chart and markers and had 20 minutes to elaborate an infographic in which they had to represent their organizations, their countries and the most common conflicting situation present in their states. As a result, the different groups presented their work in plenary.

The aim of the exercise was to create a network of basic knowledge of conflict in the original backgrounds of the participants. Thus, thanks to non formal methodologies, participants started to know a bit more about different types of conflicts in other contexts. The trainer supervised the presentations, in order to give in-

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II. Analysis

puts useful for the following sessions. In that way, the trainees were more aware about the types of existing conflicts.

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In Albania conflicts are: political (2 main parties that have always the power), ethnic (with neighboring countries and with Roma people) and economical (with huge gaps among different social status).

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In Azerbaijan conflicts are mainly political, informational, economical, generational and due to a lack of negotiation.

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In GEORGIA conflicts are mainly due to war (for oil), generational, religious, based on gender and political discrimination and on ethic issues.

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II. Analysis

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In RUSSIAN FEDERATION conflicts are: mainly based on governmental conflicts, lack of information, values, religion, resources and territory.

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In POLAND conflicts are mainly political, religious and gender.

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In MALTA conflicts are mainly due to political reasons, ethnic issues (immigrants) and economical (e.g. between private and public schools). There are also conflicts due to religious issues, racism and business.

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II. Analysis

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In BULGARIA conflicts are mainly based on political, religious, gender and economical issues.

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ITALIANS identified their conflicts mostly on political problems (due to huge conflicts of interests in policy), geographic discrimination (north-south), legality (criminality).

The second activity was named ‘Flower Power’.

The aim of ‘Flower power’ was to identify stereotypes and prejudices on other cultures and to test the real level of knowledge of the other countries, in order to start de-constructing the ignorance and disinformation on which, most of the times, conflicts may arise.

Even if the activity was quite simple, its results have been quite interesting. The trainers prepared 8 flip-charts and wrote the name of each country on each flipchart. Then, he disposed the flip-charts on the floor, in the shape of a flower with 8 petals. Each the participants was provided with a markers. According to the task participants had to walk around in circle and to write on the flip-chart the first thing that came in their mind about the country. At the beginning, the activ-

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II. Analysis

ity looked a bit hilarious, with all the participants seemingly involved in a game in which they were writing only funny things about the countries. Then, the facilitators involved in the activity discreetly and tactfully started to insert some stereotypes of the countries on the flip-chart. Thus, the participants, stimulated by the given input, started unconsciously to add a lot of stereotypes and prejudices on the related country.

At the end of the activity, the trainer asked to each national group to have a look to their own flip-chart, in order to see what other people -from abroad- think about them or, at least, what the latent culture brings back with it.

Then, a plenary session analyzed and discussed about what happened and gave to each group the possibility to break down stereotypes and prejudices. For some of the groups it has been difficult to ‘swallow’ the strong prejudices with regards to their culture. A deep analysis helped the participants to understand the importance of the knowledge for breaking down prejudices and nip conflicts in the bud.

The exercise has been helpful for participants to get a better knowledge on the different cultures and to start dealing with intercultural dialogue with more awareness, since they came from 4 EU and 4 non-EU countries.

17 The flip-charts of ‘Flower Power’

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The participants writing through an unconscious flow on the flip-charts.

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II. Analysis

IV. Mapping the CONFLICT “There’s no road map on how to raise a family: it’s always an enormous negotiation” Meryl Streep

A map help us to have an overall sight of landscapes. And of conflicts.

On this assumption, the trainer started to ask participants what are all the possible uses of a map. The participants gave a wide impression, discussing about its utility: for finding the right way, to not get lost, to see everything from above, to have an external overview of things, to find the easiest ways to reach some place.

Starting from this point, the participants progressively understood the value and the need to learn how to build a map of conflict, in order to look at the conflict in a different -external- perspective, through a scientific model and also without losing the human side of a conflict.

Through the conflict‘s mapping, participants were finally able to clearly distinguish all the parts involved in a conflict: first abstracting the main issue, then identifying persons/subjects involved and finally recognizing their needs and their concern, it is finally possible to create a whole, objective model that take s into account all the possible practical aspects (needs, structures, interests) and psychological ones, taking care also of the process.

In this way, it is possible to have a clear overview, a map, of the running conflict.

The model of the map (please see below) is then applicable to every kind of conflict.

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II. Analysis

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General model for Mapping a Conflict.

The experiment, during the training course, has been taken on a practical example of conflict arisen on the workplace. Thanks to the metaphor of the map, the trainer practically introduced the map of conflict, by introducing a daily case of conflict (office workload division) that has been practically mapped and analyzed. Thanks to plenary discussion, the trainer explained a story of conflict and misunderstanding in an office.

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Plenary Exercise on Conflict Mapping

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Chapter THREE

#working and transforming the conflict

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III. Work

I. The tools#1: Communication “Much unhappiness has come into the world because of bewilderment and things left unsaid” Fyodor Dostoyevsky

A bad communication always generates a conflict.

It could seems quite obvious, but to develop good communication skills is essential in avoiding or dealing with conflicts. A good communication helps people and subjects to better understand needs and concerns. Beyond a mere knowledge of a language, here it is important not what you know about communication but, on the contrary, how you use it.

These considerations become even more important in multicultural contexts, such as exchanges (or the current training course), where communication is essential for creating effective links among different people, backgrounds, sensibilities, cultures, habits and so on.

During this session we experimented the tool of communication through two activities.

Activity 1: ‘Draw’ The activity, pretty simple to put in practice, clearly demonstrated the mechanism of communication. The whole team of participants have been split in two teams and each team was standing one behind the other in a single line. Briefly , the trainer showed to the last person on the line the original drawing (see below), a simple draft easy to understand and to reply. The last person has to ‘draw’ with his/her fingers the drawing on the back of the participants in front of her.

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III. Work

The latter, then, has to do the same, with the message s/he understood, and so on down to the head of the participants’ line. Finally, when the last participant received the message, s/he draw it on a piece of paper.

The two lines of participants did the same exercise at the same moment, without knowing that the ‘message’ was the same. The results, apart from the funny outcomes, were interesting, since the message has completely changed during the drawing/communication process. During the De Briefing in plenary session, the participants realized how much communication influences possible misunderstandings and then, may generate possible conflicts.

Apart from the general aim, the activity also focused on the specific objectives of allowing the participants to consider the drawbacks of one-way communication and encouraging them to clarify their understanding when receiving messages and, then, re-sending back to another recipient.

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The participants are drawing on their backs during the activity.

- Activity 2: ‘Chinese Whispers’ The game of Chinese Whispers, even if it is an old one, always keeps a working effect on the value of communication.

The trainers split the team in two teams and asked only one person per team to follow him. He told the two participants that he was going to read them a story that they should listen to it as much carefully as possible, since it was going to read it only once.

“I was going to the supermarket for taking some sweets –you know, I’m really greedy – I was just paying at the checkout –I had only 50 € banknote, when…

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when I listened to a really loud voice. I looked out of the window of the supermarket and then I saw a men with a black T-shirt pointing with a water-gun to an old lady. I did not understand what was really happening, then my phone start ringing, I answered to the call and I came back here”.

After the trainer read the short story, he asked the two participants to repeat the story to another participant, and that they should have to repeat it as much faithfully as possible. One by one, the last participants tried to repeat the story to the next one and so on, until the two last participants of the two teams, who had to report the story to the whole group. With a great surprise – and somehow of hilarity- the trainer told the participants the original story.

In plenary discussion the participants found out how communication can be distorted, especially when there is not a common type of communication (verbal, like in ‘Chinese Whispers’, non verbal like in ‘Draw’).

As results, the message was completely distorted. According to the same analysis of the group, the reasons of the distortion were depending on the lack of communication skills (language), concentration on the other people’ speech and on the cultural background of each participants. In particular, the participants noted that the culture had a huge influence on how the message was remembered , understood according to his/her background and then distorted during the delivering process. For example, at some point, one participant linked the word ‘black’ to the color of the person instead to the t-shirt, facilitated by the word gun: in fact, in both teams the story has been changed involving a ‘black man shooting with a gun’. During the analysis, the participants discussed deeply about the influences of our culture and our fears on our perspective of reality.

The activity effectively helped the participants in recognizing the value of communication as a tool for transforming, or even creating conflicts.

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II. The tools#2: intercultural dialogue “We may have all come on different ships, but we’re in the same boat now” Martin Luther King Jr”

Interculturality happens when all the parties are willing and ready to it.

“Intercultural dialogue is an open and respectful exchange of views between individuals and groups belonging to different cultures that leads to a deeper understanding of the other’s global perception” The definition, taken from the “White Paper on Intercultural Dialogue” of the Council of Europe, give us a first impression of what, effectively, happens during a intercultural project under the Youth in Action Programme. Especially for the projects realized under the action 3.1 (“Cooperation with the Neighbouring Countries of the European Union”), it is essential to start creating a deeper cooperation among the partners and the participants involved in the projects and during the activities. The training Course of Rock - Resolution of Conflicts’ Kit it has been realized among 4 EU and 4 non-EU countries, in order to build a constructive confrontation and debate amongst the participants, who can share their backgrounds, experience and attitudes in a new intercultural environment.

On this purpose, it has been implemented the activity “The Island of Monomulti”. Its aims were to raise awareness on diversity and consequences, to start the discussion about how to deal with differences and to experience a multi-cultural situation, in order to stimulate proper reflections on how an intercultural environment works.

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The activity is simple: the group has been divided in three big groups. Each group received a role card in which there was described a specific culture that they should practiced very profound. The trainer gave to each group 25 minutes to prepare themselves, so to be deeply into the culture. The three culture were: Coldonia, Turtelina and Smilia.

# Coldonia In your culture ‘intelligence’ and ‘hard working’ are the central issues. Other cultures consider you as ‘cold’. But you see yourself as a very successful and wealthy country, mainly because of your very effective way of working. You don’t discuss feelings, you like intellectual debates on logical arguments. Showing your feelings is considered childish. Self-control is seen as an important quality. Religion totally disappeared in your country and is considered as ‘stupid’ and ‘a waste of time’. You greet other people by looking in their eyes. Freedom of space is very important in Coldonia. That’s why you never touch people while greeting or communicating and you don’t like to be touched. Touching other people is only used as an invitation for sexual intercourse, which in Coldonia has little moral implications and is mostly done as a relaxing and physical exercise. Your body language reflects your culture.

You only use small gestures, your back is straight and you stay always calm. It’s very normal in Coldonia to interrupt another person whenever you feel the need to do that. An important characteristic of Coldonians is that they are very willing and see it as their task to teach and train other cultures in order to help them to become as efficient and as successful as you are. Whenever you have the opportunity to teach other cultures you do it. Coldonia is famous for building big oil-platforms and huge bridges. Because your behavior is natural to you, you cannot explain it to strangers.

Now you have 25 minutes to prepare yourself in your own group. Practice the behavior! Also make sure that there is one thing that shows in your appearance that you are from the same country. (e.g. the way you dress, the way you do your hair etc.) It’s very important to practice well because you will need it in the follow-up.

# Turtelina In Turtelina ‘friendship’ and ‘taking care of each other’ are important values. Turtelinians show their feelings all the time and personal feelings are always the cen-

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tral issue in communication. Your face and your gestures show how you feel. You always touch each other. When you talk to someone you hold his or her ear. You stand close to the other. A distance more then 30 cm is considered as rude. When you greet somebody you put his or her hand on your heart. Any reference to sex is taboo and considered offending. Time is very important in Turtelina. You are never in a hurry. You like to take your time. When you work together you first want to be sure that the atmosphere is good. So you ask the others all the time how they feel and you inform them about your feelings. Interrupting people when they are speaking is considered impolite. You wait till they have finished their story. When people interrupt you, you feel rejected and you react very emotionally. Turtelina is well known for their round shaped colorful buildings. Houses are always built in round shapes because this reflects friendship and harmony.

Because your behavior is natural to you, you cannot explain it to strangers. Now you have 25 minutes to prepare yourself in your own group. Practice the behavior! Also make sure that there is one thing that shows in your appearance that you are from the same country. (e.g. the way you dress, the way you do your hair etc.) It’s very important to practice well because you will need it in the follow-up

# Smilia In Smilia ‘politeness’ and ‘friendship and harmony’ are the most important values.

You don’t like conflicts; you consider arguments as impolite behavior. That’s why you don’t know the word ‘no’. Even when you don’t agree you say ‘yes’. You always smile at people, also when you don’t like their attitude. When you are working together and somebody asks you to do something you don’t want to do, you say ‘yes’ but you always find a way not to do it. Smilia is a very religious country. In daily life this means that you pray often. Every five minutes you stop whatever you do to come together to worship your gods. You do that by sitting together and whistling.

The Smilians greet each other by rubbing each other’s legs. While speaking to each other your feet or legs are always in touch with the other ones feet or legs. You don’t touch each other up from the waist; it’s for example not allowed to touch shoulders, heads, hands or arms. You have very strict rules towards tools and materials.

Cardboard and scissors are male and cannot be used by women. Rulers and pencils are female and cannot be used by men. Glue can be used by both sexes. Smilia is famous for its paintings and interior decorations.

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Because your behavior is natural to you, you cannot explain it to strangers.

Now you have 15 minutes to prepare yourself in your own group. Practice the behavior! Also make sure there is one thing that shows in your appearance that you are from the same country. (e.g. the way you dress, the way you do your hair etc.) It’s very important to practice well because you will need it in the follow-up

After the preparation and identification of their role, the participants were asked to come together and to listen to the following story read by the trainer: An enormous storm in this area has caused that your ship went down to the bottom of the ocean. You managed to reach this desert island. It seems also other ships wrecked because you have already noticed that groups from other ships managed to get here. The island is very mountainous and there seems to be only one spot where it’s possible to live. Which means that you have to live together with the other groups that reached the island. Because of the location of the island it’s not expected that help will arrive before the end of next month. So you have to survive for at least five weeks. Food doesn’t seem to be a problem. There are lot’s of fruits growing and all kind of animals to hunt. The first concern is to built a shelter where all people can sleep and hide in case of heavy rain and storm and which can protect you against wild animals.

It ’s important to do this as fast as possible because this area is known for sudden changing weather conditions. You’ll have to do it together with the other groups because there’s not enough space and material to built more then one shelter. The material for building the shelter: cardboard, scissors, glue, rulers and pencils. The shelter must be stable and should at least be 100 cm high and 150 cm wide. It should have a roof and of course a door. You have 25 minutes to build the shelter.

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A moment of the construction of the shelter

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Then, the participants were provided with cartoon, scissors, glue, pencils, rulers and started to (try) build their common shelter.

After 25 minutes, the participants did not succeed in accomplishing the mission: the shelter was not finished and there was a messy situation going on: people whistling and praying on the floor, other people still trying to build a shelter, other people having funny discussion among themselves, not caring about the mission.

When we came back to a plenary discussion, the outcomes and the reflection were really deep, since all the participants realized how difficult is to deal with people from other culture. The activity succeeded in stimulating interaction among three different cultures, identified as the main European Cultures, that is Northern culture (Coldonia), Southern cultures (Smilia) and Central culture (Turtelina).

The main difference among the three cultures was identified by the participants in the perspective of the mission as seen and understood by the culture itself: people from the South (Smila) were more people oriented, so that they were taking care more of the person than of the real results of building a shelter. Central people were identified as process oriented, more focused on good process but with their mind still focused on the real goal. People from the North (Coldonia) more goal oriented than the other cultures.

All these differences, obviously emphasized in order to stimulate the reflection, gave the participants the opportunity to understand the value of the difference and the need to get a more and deep knowledge of the others, in order to create a more fruitful and respectful sense of cooperation, so that it is easier to avoid possible conflicts.

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III. The tools#3: NEGOTIATION “You cannot negotiate with people who say what’s mine is mine and what’s yours is negotiable” John F. Kennedy

Negotiation happens among people ready to map their conflicts.

For a better and participated understanding of negotiation as a possible tool for transforming / solving the conflict, especially in intercultural environments, the trainer started the activity with the question “what does negotiation mean for you?” and if any of the participant could refer some episode in his/her life in which s/he used negotiation to solve some problem.

The discussion started, with some beginning difficulty, since come participant made some confusion between the terms ‘negotiation’ and ‘mediation’.

The trainers did not interfere in the discussion, in order to let the trainees understand the term, and its meaning, by themselves. He just gave, once in a while, some hint in order to facilitate the process. Finally, when a common definition was reached, the trainer wrote on a flip-chart one of the most common definition of negotiation: ‘’Negotiation involves two (or more) parties with competing or conflicting interests or needs, working towards an agreement on how they will co-operate’’ Dr Gregory Tillett Resolving Conflict (Sydney: Sydney University Press, 1991) p. 46.

In other words, negotiation refers to all the process of conflict/problem transformation in which all the parties involved try to reach a common agreement, satisfactory for all of them, according to the so-called ‘win-win approach’.

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The participants, recalling the previous activities, started realizing what a win-win approach is and, thus, comprehended the value of negotiation as a participatory process in which everybody is on the same level of information, tool and skills and when all of them are ready and prone to start a negotiation process.

In the conflict resolution these basic concepts have to be distinguished. The understanding of them helps to reach an agreement between the parties involved in the conflict. According to the previous activities and workshops, thus, the negotiator should have good communication skills, a strong personality, assertiveness and willingness to cooperate and to be open minded to other point of views and perspectives.

When the whole group, together, outlined the profile of the ‘perfect negotiator’, the trainer bravely asked ‘who could consider him/herself a perfect negotiator?’.

The silence was eloquent enough.

At this stage, the trainer introduced an activity based on negotiation skills.

The activity, called ‘Egg Business’, had a lot of interesting outcomes.

The participants were asked to split in two teams: half of them should act the part of Smith, the other half the part of Taylor. Then, given 20 minutes to read carefully their role-card (without reading the others’ role) and to embody their character, they had to deal in couple with the other character by conducting a negotiation.

Moreover, each couple had to map their conflict, in order to find the best solution possible. Shown below, the stories.

# Role 1: Smith You are the chief pharmacist at the Ministry for Public Health and specialised in the development of medicine that cures rare diseases. Not long ago the X-Fluoride epidemic broke out on several continents. This is a contagious disease causing dangerous fetal disorders. There is an emergency situation all over the world. If X-Fluoride is not contained in time, an unacceptably high percentage of this generation will require the support of their families and society for decades. Economists predict that the cost will ruin millions of families and will lead to business bankruptcies and high rates of unemployment across a wide spectrum. Psychologists indicate

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that the emotional impact on each family will entail terrible consequences. Your Ministry supported the research on X-Fluoride and found a serum that prevents the disease. The serum is prepared from the yolk of the egg of a very rare, spotted ostrich. These birds are found only in Balaharia. The ostrich lays eggs only once a year, just this month. The eggs are stored carefully each year and are sold to gourmet restaurants as condenser for special soups. The last year stock was sold at $ 15 on average per egg. The only owner of the tamed spotted ostriches and thus the main supplier lives at a distant place in Balaharia. According to rumours, this man is a member of the underworld, a drug addict and allegedly took part in murders and terrorist actions. You do not believe that the producer knows about the new use of the eggs. The Ministry for Public Health will need all the eggs laid this year to meet the predicted demand for serum worldwide.

Your task is to obtain as many ostrich eggs as possible. The Ministry empowered you to spend up to $ 525.000 for this year’s output. You seem to have competitors during the purchase, particularly representatives of the Ministry for Heavy Industry.

Your Ministry had previous dealings with the other Ministry and faced poor cooperation, even rivalry, because of deficient budgetary resources. Western firms may also appear in Balaharia. You have been authorised to compete with the Ministry for Heavy Industry and during bidding you can offer your whole sum. You are flying to Balaharia to buy the eggs. You are worried because the real beneficiary of the conflict might be the underworld. You are surprised to recognise that the person sitting next to you is the representative of the Ministry for Heavy Industry. You try to convince him that you need the eggs. If you manage to defend your institution’s interest you will be promoted in your Ministry and it would mean a five times higher salary for you.

# Role 2: Taylor You are the chief chemist at the Ministry for Heavy Industry who is responsible for developing insecticides for agricultural products which kill insects harmfully. Recently there have been reports from all over the world about the attack of the Cottermus moth damaging the trees. This moth, if not contained, might damage whole forests within days. It propagates at an extraordinary speed: the larvae hatch within two months and cause irreversible damage on huge areas by attacking the leaf-

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age of the trees. Following forest destruction a secondary effect is unprecedented soil erosion, destabilization and disappearance of water resources. The moth might infect cultivated plants causing grave damage to the production. The only way to stop the moth is to spray on the infected forests a special insecticide, the UO-Compound which has not been produced for years. Differing from most of the insecticides, which are synthetic products, the UO-Compound is made of the shell of the egg of the spotted ostrich living in Balaharia. There are very few of these birds and they lay eggs only once a year. This is the month of laying eggs. The eggs are stored each year and then are sold to gourmet restaurants as condenser for special soups.

Last year the eggs were sold at $15 on average per egg. The only owner of these rare ostriches lives on a distant part of Balaharia. According to rumours he is a member of the international underworld, he is a drug addict and takes part in murders and terrorist actions. You do not believe that the person knows that this year there will be a new and increasing demand for the eggs. Thousands of eggs are needed for producing the insecticide. Your Ministry has decided that you have to buy all the ten thousand eggs from this year’s production.

Your task is to obtain as many ostrich eggs as possible. The Ministry empowered you to spend up to $ 500.000 for the eggs. Along with the gourmet restaurants other competitors seem to be interested in the eggs. There are rumors that the Ministry for Public Health also needs the eggs. Your Ministry has already had some dealings with the other Ministry and there is currently rivalry between you both because of the deficient budgetary resources. You are worried that the Ministry for Public Health and probably other firms will try to outbid you. You are flying to Balaharia to buy this year’s production. You are angry because the underworld might draw profit from the situation. You recognise that the person sitting next to you is the representative of the Ministry for Public Health. You try to convince that person that you should get all the eggs. If you defend the interest of your Ministry you will be promoted to a position that ensures a five times higher salary for you than the current one.

The results of the activity have been different, depending on the couple. Participants realized how difficult is to be a good negotiator, since he has to have certain characteristics that sometimes depend not only on experiences and skills and knowledge, but also on attitude, assertiveness and cooperation.

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23

Egg business: negotiation in action

The activity was not so easy for participants, who experimented the skills of negotiation and tested themselves in the difficult process. During the process of negotiations the groups that succeeded in reaching fruitful agreements (according to the parties), also created a good map of conflict that was agreed as a good practice to use for the future.

In their map, in fact, they did not introduce only themselves and their direct ministries as subjects involved in the possible conflict, but also environment and people. This attitude was considered by the whole group of participants as a good practice since it used an integrated approach: conflicts are better solved and transformed if the transformation has long term impact, taking into account all the possible variables and subjects.

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IV. The tools#4: MEDIATION “Discussion is an exchange of knowledge; argument is an exchange of ignorance” Robert Quillen

When problems seem impossible to be solved, there is always mediation.

Following the same methodology of the previous exercises, the trainer tried to build a common definition of mediation that involves the knowledge and the experience of participants.

At this stage of the activities, the participants were skilled enough to understand the differences between negotiation and mediation, since mediation is often -unfortunately- more commonly used in the process of peace building.

The trainer started the discussion by asking the participants ‘when should we use the word mediation?’. Most of participants mainly mentioned well known examples were mediation is often used as tool for building peace; some participant brought as example daily example of mediations, like familiar mediation. When the trainer finally wrote a definition of mediation, the perspective was clearer: ‘’Mediation is a process in which a third party intervenes in a conflict, usually with the consent of the parties, to facilitate a mutually acceptable resolution which requires the agreement of the participants for implementation. In a sense, it is facilitated collaborative problem-solving.” Dr Gregory Tillett, Resolving Conflict (Sydney: Sydney University Press, 1991) The tool of Mediation is so intended as an external way to solve / transform the conflicts, that some considers as an extension of the negotiation process.

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A fundamental prerequisite of mediation is that the so-called ‘third party’ has to have no decision-making power and has to help the parties in reaching reasonable agreements, according to their needs and concerns: it immediately came to participants’ mind, according to what they have learnt during the previous sessions, about the necessary skills to be a good mediator. IIn particular a good mediator should be able to: - canalize communication between the parties, in order to re-establish a proper and fruitful interaction; - be realistic, trying to uncover need and concerns in a practical way, and helps the parties to recognize respective rights and duties; - facilitate the process of negotiation and mediation, always finding new solutions according to the problem, the issue, the context, the people and the respective rights and duties; - be discreet and attentive, so to keep all the parties protected in their privacy; - be ‘third’, by choosing external places and in taking decision; - take care of finding ways to enumerate and assess results and achievements during the mediation process, to that the parties are able to understand the path; What came out from the ideal profile of the mediator was then put into practice through a specific activity - Hannane’ Story - aimed at experimenting and experiencing mediation, especially in multicultural environments.

The participants have been divided in groups of three people and each partici­ pant was provided with one role: Hannane, Giacomo and the mediator (a youth worker). Every participants was asked to focus carefully only on his/her own role, not caring about others’ profile and, then they had to conduct a meditation process using the content of his/her role.

# Role 1: Mediator The description of the case is as follow: Giacomo is an Italian participant during the youth exchange ‘Let’s Build our future’ and he is in conflict with another par-

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ticipants, Nina, a Turkish girl. She declared that Jacked tried to bother her during the intercultural night with bad expression that offended her and her culture and now is going to drop out of the exchange if he’s not going to leave before, since she does not feel safe in the project. Giacomo called you, youth worker involved in the project in order to find a solution. Both of them agreed to meet each other with you in the office of the organization.

# Role 2: Giacomo, Italian, 23, M You are nervous because of the situation. It never happened before to be misunder­ stood in such that way: you feel stupid for what you have ve done -you were just trying to show interest for a nice girl! - , but in the meanwhile you do not think you have been so offensive and rude. Your opinion is only that you expressed ‘gentlemen stuff’ (‘you’re cute’, ‘so nice’, ‘beautiful hair’ and things like that) but you never though you could have met such a touchy and ir­ritable girl!

You discussed with your leader group and your it looks that the whole exchange is going bad: participants are starting supporting you or Hannane, sot that the whole group looks now split in two sub-groups. Your leader group seems to support you but, in the meanwhile, want to solve the situation so he suggested you to look for the youth worker of the exchange, in order to find a solution. Hannane looks to be agree with the decision to talk.

Please, do not bring additional and/ or new details into your role.

# Role 3: Hannane, Turkish, 22, F You are shaken: Giacomo, the Italian guy, yesterday night during the intercultural party was more than rude! You have not been respected at all, with all these allusions and hints regarding your appearance.

You are a devoted girl, faithfully believing in the dignity and inviolability of the woman, according to your beliefs. You attend university (medicine) and you consider yourself an open minded person, since you believe in respect. What Jack have done to you yesterday was incredibly impolite and unbelievable: everybody was looking at you while he was saying you such these stupid things and he looked so drunk. Stupid guy: the first days you looked smart and nice but then...

Then he destroyed everything. Some people here in the exchange are saying that

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you are an extremist, some other are supporting you. You do not care: it’s only about you and Giacomo. One of you must leave the exchange and, if he’s not going to leave, then you’ll do it!

He asked you to talk together with the youth worker: you think it’s matter of responsibility to have a civil discussion before taking the decision, for finding a mediated solution that respects all the other participants and the organizations!

Please, do not bring additional and/ or new details into your role.

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Hannane’ story:map of the conflict

The activity has been really intense, for the outcomes and for the involvement of the participants who took deeply their role. When the participants were ready to start their mediations, all of them began and had 20 minutes to reach an agree­ ments. The mediators were asked to map the conflict.

As a results, not everybody reached a satisfactory agreement in the given time.

During the plenary session we discussed about mediation and the difficulty to ‘make things working properly’. During the discussion, most of the participants realized how difficult is to deal with multicultural environments, like youth ex­ changes and like the current training course. The activity made them understand

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how much a youth worker has to experience, learn and strengthen for enhancing his/her work, since s/he does not deal just with young people, but also with all the universe that they are always holding back together with them (attitudes, culture, traditions and so on).

The experience of mediation, finally, tested on an intercultural example, gave the participants the opportunity to understand the real meaning of how a conflict may arise all the time, and how simple or difficult could be to deal with it, depending on the knowledge and experience gained.

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Chapter FOUR

#evaluating the conflict

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IV. Evaluation

I. Evaluation and results “Everything that can be counted does not necessarily count; everything that counts cannot necessarily be counted” Albert Einstein

Evaluation is the proof of some work. It lies in numbers but also in a smile and in a feeling of satisfaction.

While programming ROCK we imagined the Training Course as a project modeled on the needs and the wishes of young people and organizations that have animated, organized and who participated in it.

According to this assumption, it has been natural to imagine a pack of assessments that consistently monitor the path of the project and take ‘values​​‘ of each participant, day by day, like in a curve on z-axis.

In this way we could re-organize the program where and when someone or something was not where we wanted or wished and we have enhanced the positive situations and discouraged critical situations.

The evaluations organized have been purposely varied and on different level of communication: in this way we reached feedback all those who were involved, we found the most honest answers and often more direct, we gave the opportunity to everyone to give feedback and to express themselves. In fact, every day had the characteristic of a different type of evaluation with a different way of expression.

During the initial evaluation “Hopes, fears and contributions” we established initial fears and hopes of each person, trying to reassure the ones afraid and to intercept hopes and contributions that could have been fundamental for a better

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project.

From then on, we always found more and different formulas, in order to give every opportunity to speak and in different ways: using the voice (discussion, singing) playing theatre, drawing, and so on.

During the initial, intermediate and final stages of the project we have considered, alongside such evaluation methodologies, even the most classic moments of direct confrontation: spoken, written and narrated discussion. In this way we have been able to establish a direct and frank relationship. This type of attitude towards evaluation educated every participant to look for open discussion.

At this point, it could be interesting to have a look to the long term evaluation realized one month after the activities, in order to consider the project in its entirely.

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IV. Evaluation

As written before, sometimes a smile or a good (or bad, indeed word) could be more eloquent than numbers. Thus, we asked the participants to give us some feedback.

Please leave us some feedback for improving next projects.

“Really a good staff!”

“According to me this project was well organized and from my point of view there nothing to add. Hope to see you again . Best Regards “The only thing that i would advise to improve is organizational process. In all the rest the project brought me big benefit in understanding of area of conflict management and I would like to thank organizers and participants for the opportunity of participation given to me” “Each project have new emotions and i want try all! Because is only good for me, but for the next project i will learn and improve what “stay alone” means because knowledge is as important as emotion. Bye bye ! I love SEYF” “I don’t think there was any weakness in this project. The team, the venues, the program - everything was beyond my expectations”

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“This TC was one of my best trainings and I really can’t find a weak point to share.

Keep on with the good job. Your team and all the people involved in this project were great - welcoming and supportive. Thank you for your efforts, it was great! “ “I really liked and enjoyed the TC, because I received new skills and knowledge, thanks to trainers and organizers. I think these trainings have a lot of practical exer­cises and i suggest to keep it in this way, and in proportion with theoretical part it should be: 70% practice vs 30% theory”

Please leave us some comment about your experience related to Conflict transformation/solution after the Training Course “I have solved some conflicting problem with my ex girl friend. Now I have no problem because the conflict does not exist anymore! Only peace!:)” “ It was my first time working in this project and I really appreciated” “This course was very useful and well organized. I like how it is re­lated the theory with practical exercises. It has been a great opportunity for me to understand how different participants may think and solve the conflicts. This was related to different knowledge and culture that give an opportunity to share our ex­ periences” “The project was very interesting to me, because I understood what the conflict is and the way to resolve it” “Thanks to this training now I have new approaches and I find it very useful in my practice” £After this training course I definitely feel more confidence in my skills regarding conflict resolution. I’m using my new knowledge for more successful conflict solving” “The program and knowledge that i had received helped me to solve conflicts in my personal life and to transform disputable situations into constructive way” “After this training course, I was assigned to manage a new project in my company. I only knew that this project was on delay for one year because of a conflict

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among Marketing and IT departments. Thanks to the skills I have learnt during the training, I have been able to change the situation and I played the role of mediator between 2 parties and, finally, we all achieved a constructive solution.

Thus, my project will be launched at the end of July :) I did it! Thank you SEYF!�

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#references

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V. References

PUBLISHED SOURCED T-Kit 12 “Youth transforming conflict” N. Lyamouri-Bajja, N. Genneby, R. Marosyan, Y. Ohana Council of Europe Publishing, 2012.

T-kit 10 “Educational Evaluation in Youth Field” P. Kloosterman, K. Giebel, O. Senyuva Council of Europe Publishing, 2007.

T-Kit 4 “Intercultural Learning“ A. Gillert, M. Haji-Kella, M. de Jesus Cascão Guedes, A. Raykova, C. Schachinger M. Taylor Council of Europe Publishing, 2000.

Manual for facilitators in non-formal education, involved in preparing and delivering the programme of study sessions at European Youth Centres S. Klocker Strasbourg, 2009 Conflict Resolution - Trainers’ Manual, 12 Skills Fiona Holier, Kerrie Murray and Helena Cornelius Chatswood (Australia), 2008.

Conflict and Defence. A General Theory Boulding, E. K. Harper & Row, New York, 1962 Resolving Conflict Gregory Tillett, Sydney University Press, Sydney , 1991 COME (COnflict ManagEment for Actors in EVS Projects J. Dočkalová; M. Jakubowska; T. Pešek; A. Weisner Prague 2009

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V. References

Social Conflict: Escalation, Stalemate and Settlement Pruitt, D. G. and Rubin, J. Z., McGraw-Hill, N.Y. 1986 The big book of team motivating games Mary Scannell & Edward E. Scannell McGraw-Hill, 2010 Compass - Manual for Human Rights Education with Young People edited and coordinated by R. Gomes Hungary, 2012

WEB-OGRAPHY www.crnhq.org/ www.mladezvakci.cz/publikace www.coe.int/t/dg4/intercultural/source/white%20paper_final_revised_ en.pdf www.transconflict.com/ www.conflicttransformation.org/ www.transformativemediation.org/

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Contacts

SEYF - South Europe Youth Forum www.seyf.eu info@seyf.eu facebook.com/seyf.lecce @seyf_lecce

The Trainers Vincenzo Lotito: expert in Outdoor Education and project managing. He is one of the founding members of SEYF since 2010. His interests range from art, intercultural issues and artistic direction of cultural events.

vincenzo.lotito@seyf.eu

Sandro Accogli: expert in Human Rights and Sustainable Development. He is one of the founding members of SEYF since 2010. His interests range from communication, culture and participation and democratic process. sandro.accogli@seyf.eu Marija Borg Mifsud: expert in Team Building, Intercultural Learning, EuroMed policies and sustainable development. She is one of the founders of SEYF in Malta. Her interests are communication, research and self-development through non-formal education. marija.borg@seyf.eu

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CONFLICT TRANSFORMATION MANUAL

R.O.C.K. – Resolution of Conflicts’ Kit is an international training course realized from the Italian SEYF – South Europe Youth Forum. The training course welcomed 8 organizations and 16 participants from Bulgaria, Poland, Italy, Malta, Russian Federation, Azerbaijan, Georgia and Albania. The main aim of the current manual is to create a platform of best practices and experiences on conflict management. In particular, according to the experience of the project, in the manual we explored ways on how to intervene in solving and transforming conflicts, how to manage conflicting situations in youth and volunteering work and how to address conflict in the best way, so that it really became a learning experience for the parties involved, rather then a destroying process.

SEYF - South Europe Youth Forum is an international partners’ network based in South Italy. SEYF works for the social inclusion of young people in disadvantage, in order to let them reach more opportunities in the competitive world of work. SEYF organizes youth exchanges, seminars, fosters EVS and training course for an easier access of young people to youth initiatives. SEYF is a structured online platform (www.seyf.eu) where every organization can have its own space, to sponsor its activities, it goals and can share partners, aims and initiatives.

ISBN 978-88-908980-3-7

www.seyf.eu