selfish. issue 5

Page 1

THE ISSUE ABOUT RAIN 5*13


Š Unless otherwise noted, the copyright for all parts (photographs, texts and illustrations) as well as for the whole design is reserved by myself.

DREAM noun

liquid water in the form of droplets that have condensed from atmospheric water vapor and then precipitated



fall


Rain is falling and I am too if only you’d embrace my kiss like the soil embraces the mist Tears are falling and I am too if only you’d embrace my all like the soil embraces the downfall




rain

window nadia













facts rain


1.

The umbrella was originally invented to protect people from the hot sun.

2.

Rain drops can fall at speeds of about 22 miles an hour. To take this into perspective, a snowflake falls at about 2-4 mph can take about 1 hour to finally reach the ground.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

14.

Rain is recycled water that evaporated from our worlds lakes, rivers, oceans, seas etc. Once evaporated the water will eventually fall as precipitation and a droplet of water may travel thousands of miles throughout this process.

15.

The angle of light refraction to create a Rainbow is 42 degrees to the eye of the observer

Rain starts off as ice or snow crystals at cloud level. A droplet of water will stay in Earth’s atmosphere for around 10 days.

16.

Light rain is classified as being no more then 0.10 inchese of rain an hour. Rainfall observations and records are made by thousands of stations throughout the world. Rainfall is measured, in terms of inches or millimeters of depth.

A rainbow was visible for 6 hours (from 9am to 6pm) at Wetherby, Yorkshire (UK) on 14 March 1994. This is rare as most rainbows last for only a few minutes.

17.

One of the more pleasant rain smells, the one we often notice in the woods, is actually caused by bacteria! Actinomycetes, a type of filamentous bacteria, grow in soil when conditions are damp and warm.

18.

It’s proven that in temperate climates, people

Heavy rain is classified as being more then 0.30 inches of rain an hour. If droplets are very small they are typically known as drizzle. On average there are over 1500 thunderstorms occurring on earth with 100 lightning strikes per second. You have about a one and thee million chance in being struck by lightning and during a hurricane, almost 100% of people that die end up drowning. The driest place on earth is Wadi Halfa in Sudan, with an annual average rainfall of less than 2.5 mm (less than one-tenth of an inch). The wettest place in the world (based on the yearly average total) is Mawsynram, India, which receives an average of 11,870mm (474.8 inches) of rain each year. Rain drops range in size from 0.02 inches to about .031 inches. About an inch of rain water is equak to about15inches of dry snow.

10.

Rain drops do not fall in a tear drop shape, they originally fall in the shave of a flat oval.

11.

The order of the Rainbow spectrum is red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, violet

12.

Rain that freezes before it hits the ground is known as frozen rain.

13.

The total amount of precipitation to fall to earth in one year is 5,000 million million tones.

are more stressed during cloudy periods. it’s also been shown that men are more seasonally affected than women.

19.

Every second, a large hurricane releases the energy of 10 atomic bombs.

20.

Hurricanes are the only weather disasters that have been given their own names.

21.

The technical name for rain is precipitation, which also includes snow, sleet and hail.

22.

Sometimes two rainbows will form at the same time. When this happens, there will be a normal rainbow and outside it will be a larger, more faint rainbow. The second, bigger rainbow, will also have its colours in reverse.

23.

The scientific name for the earthy smell after rain is petrichor (from the Greek petra, stone + ichor, the liquid that flows in the veins of the Greek gods).

24.

Rainforests are forests characterized by high rainfall, with annual rainfall between 250 centimetres (98 in) to 450 centimetres (180 in)

25.

Lightning is an atmospheric discharge which usually occurs during a rain storm but also frequently during volcanic eruptions.

www.infobarrel.com




mirror

mirror floor nadia











10 caught

rain


Spider-Man After becoming her hero and saving the day, Mary Jane (Kirsten Dunst) thanks an upside down Spidey (Tobey Maguire) the only way she can. By pulling his mask down just enough to plant a soft yet wet smooch on his lips. Although this scene adds a syrupy sweet taste to what became a franchise known for high flying action, it does work really well in the rain, adding just that touch of movie magic to make this scene a classic. Say Anything… John Cusack really loves the rain. Matter of fact we could literally make a top 10 list with just rain scenes that include him being soaked. I kid you not, John Cusack has been rained on in 10 films (The Sure Thing, High Fidelity, Pushing Tin, Identity, Being John Malkovich, The Ice Harvest, 1408, The Runaway Jury, America’s Sweethearts). His most famous rain scene has to be in Cameron Crowe’s pitch perfect romantic comedy Say Anything… Sorcerer Sent on a mission up the jungle to deliver crates of highly unstable dynamite to help put out massive oil fires, star Roy Scheider and his team drive two trucks to their destination and tackle many obstacles on the journey. Among them is an equally unstable and dilapidated bridge overlooking a raging river below. As the only means necessary, Scheider and team must do battle with the bridge in a nasty monsoon. What entails is one of the most thrilling suspense scenes ever captured on film, with the rain only adding to the slippery thrills along the way. Magnolia For the majority of Paul Thomas Anderson’s 3 hour opus it rains. Numerous characters in the movie even comment on how much its raining “cats and dogs” out there. All these characters are woven together in a final sequence that is threaded by a rainstorm of biblical proportions. In what was the biggest jaw dropping moment in the film, a large rain of frogs falls from the sky. Jurassic Park As Steven Spielberg’s Jurassic Park begins to amp up, the majority of the 2nd act takes place during a night time thunderstorm. We get our first glimpse of the deadly T-Rex as he hops the disabled electric fence for a midnight snack out in the rain. The use of thunder and rain adds to the desperation of the characters, as their only shelter and safe haven from not only the storm but the ravenous dinosaur is inside their tour Jeep. The Lord Of The Rings: The Two Towers When the battle of Helm’s Deep occurs in the 2nd installment of Peter Jackson’s epic Lord Of the Rings trilogy, thousands of Uruk-hai soldiers trounce along in the mud to meet their

fate. As they stand in front of the massive fortress ready for battle we see their breath in the cold air, and the rain beading off their body armor. Jackson creates a sequence in the rain with such detail it puts the audience right there on the battleground. Road To Perdition While on the lam avenging the murder of his wife and son, Michael Sullivan (Tom Hanks) finally catches up with the man who ordered the slayings. On a cold rainy night, Sullivan lurks in the shadows and unloads his Tommy gun on John Rooney (Paul Newman) and his henchmen. In a scene built mostly on silence and a subtle music score from Thomas Newman, we are held breathless until the sound of the rain pummeling down slowly fades in over the soundtrack as Rooney turns to face Sullivan and meet his fate. The Shawshank Redemption After spending almost 20 years behind bars in Shawshank prison for a murder he didn’t commit, Andy Dufresne (Tim Robbins) makes a daring escape through the bowels of the prison on a stormy night. After climbing through the sewer system, Andy comes out the other end into freedom. He stands up and embraces the rain coming down on him. He even laughs a bit to himself. The scene is quick but it adds so much emotion to a moment in the film that makes you realize this is somewhat of a baptism for our hero. Seven Samurai As the villagers join forces with the titular samurai to help them defend their homes from bandits, we are shown a thrilling battle sequence masterfully shot in a horrendously muddy rainstorm. As they get dragged through the mud on their horses and slip in desperation at every sword swing, the bandits dwindle in numbers during the fight. The rain plagues the battle throughout giving the sequence all the more power as blood flows into puddles and honor is fought for in this 1954 classic. Singin’ In The Rain Now come on, tell us one time you haven’t been caught out in the rain and not pictured this now classic scene from the 1952 musical in your head? In what culminates after a blissful goodnight kiss with chorus girl Kathy Selden (Debbie Reynolds), movie star Don Lockwood (Gene Kelly) breaks out in song and dance regardless of the “California Dew” falling on him from above. This scene is forever a classic in Hollywood cinema, and it really set the standard for scenes in the rain that still has yet to be unmatched.

www.whatculture.com




10

weird things

fallen

sky nadia


Rain. Snow. Sleet.

These are some of the things that you’d normally expect to fall from the sky. How about things like spiders? Frogs? And blood?! Here’s a look at some of these rather bizarre meteorological anomalies. Source: www.listverse.com


Frog Rain According to the Bible, frogs raining down from the skies is the sign of a horrible curse. According to scientists however, the explanation is a tad more logical. Waterspouts, which is a type of tornado that forms over a body of water (which is where frogs typically hang out) is the culprit here. When a waterspout hits a body of water, the frogs are sucked way up into the funnel and soon become an unwilling passenger in its ride away from its original habitat. Once the wind dies down, the frogs are then released full force which then gives the appearance of frogs raining down from the heavens.


Golf Balls On September 1, 1969, golf enthusiasts from Punta Gorda, Florida, probably thought they died and went to heaven. It was on that day that residents woke up to find dozens and dozens of golf balls falling from the skies. Was this some gift from the golfing heavens? Not exactly. According to meteorologists, Punta Gorda, which is located on Florida’s western Gulf coast and is home to many golf courses, probably experienced a passing tornado which gulped up a golf ball filled pond which in turn rained down its contents on the streets of the unsuspecting town.


Nondairy Creamer In the 1920s there was a song called “You’re the Cream in my Coffee”. Well in 1969 in the town of Chester, South Carolina, there was enough cream for everyone’s coffee and it came falling from the skies. In 1969, the Borden company, which manufactures Cremora, a powdered non-dairy creamer had a problem with its exhaust vents. Every time the vents became clogged, puffs of non-dairy creamer would spew from the air. When the puffs of creamer mixed with rain and dew, the result was a gunky, sticky mess. Thankfully for the town though, the Borden company fixed the problem and was eventually slapped with a $4,000 fine for “releasing Cremora beyond plant boundaries”.


Human Body The odds of this ever happening is probably one in a bazillion but it did happen to Mary Fuller in California. On September 25, 1978 Fuller was sitting in her parked car with her 8-month old son when suddenly a human body crashed through her windshield. Where did the body come from? Unbeknownst to Fuller, Pacific Southwest Airline flight number 182 had just collided with a private Cessna airplane killing 144 people. The body that smashed through Fuller’s windshield was one of the victims. Thankfully Fuller and her son suffered only minor lacerations. To this day this accident is still considered the worst in California aviation history.


Worms On March 4, 2001 at the Galashiels Academy in the United Kingdom, David Crichton’s soccer class was on the field in the midst of a game when the students were suddenly pelted with dozens of earthworms that seemed to be raining from the sky. Shocked at the sight, some kids were laughing while others went scrambling for cover. Meanwhile, Crichton scooped up handfuls of the worms as evidence of the occurrence. After it was over, Crichton spoke with his science colleagues to determine a cause but none of them had an explanation for it. One teacher thought it was a freaky weather thing but as it turns out it was a sunny clear day. Crichton also noted that the students were far from any buildings so there was no way that it could have been someone’s idea of a practical joke. Now while there has been no clear explanation for this occurrence, weather was to blame for the worm rain that pelted a woman in the town of Jennings, Louisiana in 2007. Eleanor Beal was crossing the street on her way to work when she was suddenly pelted with several large clumps of worms. As Louisiana is prone to sudden tornadoes and rain storms, it’s believed that on that day a water spout was spotted several miles away which carried the worms up and dropped them on the poor, unwitting Beal.


Money At one time or another just about everybody wishes that money would literally fall from the skies. A handful of people however, have actually witnessed this miracle. In 1957, thousands of 1000 franc notes seemingly fell from the sky in the small town of Bourges, France. In December 1975 hundreds of one dollar bills totaling $588 fell from the skies over Chicago, Illinois. Outside of a store in Ramsgate England, pennies seemingly fell from the heavens on December 3, 1968. A cashier at the store claimed that they came down in short, scattered bursts for fifteen minutes. No one actually saw them falling but everyone heard the sound of them plinking off the pavement. Even more bizarre was the fact that the coins appeared to be dented as if they fell from a high altitude but there were no tall buildings nor airplanes in the area. On May 28 1981 a girl from Reddish England claimed she saw a 50 pence coin fall from the sky as she walked through St. Elisabeth’s churchyard. Later in the day several other children claimed the same thing happened to them as they all convened at a local candy store. When the store owner called the church Reverend to see if perhaps the children had been stealing from the poor box, the Reverend said no money was missing. When the children were all questioned together they all claimed that the money indeed fell from the sky.


Cow In 1997 a Japanese fishing trawler was rescued by a Russian patrol boat in the Sea of Japan. When the castaways were asked how their boat came to be in distress they replied “a cow fell from the sky and sank us”. Well of course not believing their story the fishermen were immediately arrested and went to jail. Two weeks later however, an embarrassed member of the Russian air force informed Japanese authorities that one of its crew members had indeed stolen a cow for its beef and took it aboard his flight. Cows being cows however, don’t like enclosed spaces and definitely don’t like flying so in order to save the aircraft and themselves the airmen threw the poor cow out of the plane at 30,000 feet just as it was flying over the Sea of Japan. The Japanese seamen were immediately released.


Blood In 2008 residents of the small town of La Sierra Choco, Columbia claimed that blood actually rained down on their small community. When a bacteriologist from another town tested a sampling of the substance, it was indeed verified as blood. For his part, Johnny Milton Cordoba, the parish priest of the town claimed that this was a sign from God that people need to change their evil ways.


Meat Well it wasn’t exactly raining men but on March 3, 1876 in a little Kentucky town, it was raining meat. To be exact, the meat, which measured between two and four inches square and appeared to be of the beef variety, rained down in the backyard of one Allen Crouch. It was verified however, after two men bravely stepped forward to taste the meat that rather than beef, the taste was similar to mutton or venison. After further medical examination by The Royal Microscopical Society of Great Britain, it was determined that the meat was in fact lung tissue from either a horse or a human infant (apparently in horses and human infants, the lung structure is very similar) As for how this all occurred, the most probable theory given was that a large pack of buzzards had probably just eaten a pack of dead horses and when one of them expelled the meat, all the other buzzards (which is apparently a buzzard trait) then followed suit.


Spider Imagine driving in your car and suddenly thousands of spiders come raining from the sky. Well, that’s exactly what happened to Erick Reis, a 20-year-old web designer from Santo Antonio da Platina, a town about 250 miles west of Sao Paulo. And while spider rain sounds like something out of a Hitchcock movie, it’s a phenomenon that’s actually not out of the ordinary. According to biologist Marta Fischer of the Pontifical Catholic University of Parana, the Anelosimus eximius spider, which is about the size of a pencil eraser, usually hangs out in trees and can create webs up to 65 feet high which are used to trap insects. If a strong wind should come along however, the web can become detached sending the spiders aloft which would appear as if they’re raining from the skies which is exactly what Reis was probably witnessing that fateful day.




the rain

jeannot










5

Get to know the photographer

5 10

7.

What would you do if you opened your door and saw a dead body? First, I’d check if the person was really dead, take a picture and then call the cops. I’d take the picture to prove that I didn’t move anything and of course, because that’s my job :-) (I have a feeling that I may be watching too many crime tv shows...)

13.

What’s your favorite smell? Coffee and lavender. There is nothing better than the smell of fresh coffee beans. Lavender reminds me of my first holidays in the provence. Sometimes in summer, when I’m lying in the garden, I close my eyes, feel the sun and hear the cicadas. There’s also a pipe tabacco smell that I like a lot. But I don’t know its name.

67.

What’s your religion? Life and Art. Life is a funny thing: It’s an art to live life and without art, I can’t live.

103. Do you believe in magic? Yes, sometimes. Especially in the “Copperfieldmagic”:-) But also in the magic of a moment, a song or a picture: a magic that allows me to dream for a while. 142. Do you have any magazine subscription? No, I love to go to the newspaper shop, because that way, I can always discover new journals, papers and books. Of course, this may be the reason, why I spend too much time and money in Newspaper- or Bookshops. :-) But if I had a magazine subscription, I guess it would be: the View, the french Photo, National Geographic and Geo.



EVERYBODY

ad o l n Dow e her

Pain

you can’t

have

but

wants

wants

HAPPINESS nobody

a rainbow

without

a little

Rain


29 Songs rain


1.

The Weather Girls

17. Milli Vanilli

It’s raining men

2.

Eric Clapton

18. Tim McGraw

Let it rain

Blame It On The Rain She’s my kind of rain

3. Prince

19. Ann Peebles

Purple Rain

4.

BJ Thomas

20. Billie Myers

Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head

5.

Blind Melon

21. Amanda marshall

No Rain

6.

Grateful Dead

22. AHA

Looks like rain

7.

Bob Dylan

23. The Beatles

Buckets of Rain

Rain

I Can’t Stand the Rain Kiss the rain Let it rain Crying in the rain

8. Eurythmics

24. Adele

Here Comes The Rain Again

Set fire to the rain

9. The Cascades

25. Travis

Rythm of the Rain

10. Led Zeppelin

Why does it always rain on me

26. Tom Waits

The Rain Song

Make it Rain

11. The Temptations

27. Placebo

I Wish It Would Rain

English summer rain

12. Guns ‘n Roses

28. Peter, Paul and Mary

November Rain

Early morning rain

13. Gene Kelly

29. Garbage

Singin’ in the Rain

I’m only happy when it rains

14. Jimi Hendrix

One Rainy Wish

15. James Taylor

Fire and Rain

16. Creedence Clearwater Revival

Have You Ever Seen The Rain?

n to e t s i L plete m o the c list on play cks 8tra


hypochondriac’s

notes

shrink All is not well in the life of Sara Moris. Her friends are in constant catfight mode, her dates end in panic attacks, her promotion went to somebody else and suddenly the only men she meets, seem to be “older”... Nothing a good therapist couldn’t fix in about an hour’s session or two. If only she just could get herself to make an appointment instead of writing notes to an imaginary doc!

A serialized novel, part 3 the simps


Read up on Sara’s previous adventures in the last editions of selfish. magazine! “See, this is why this whole thing is just a damn shame.” said Henri Schumacher, head of the Loans Department at First National Bank while looking at me all proud after fixing a rather nasty problem with our IT department over the phone. So there I was bracing myself again for what I’ve come to call the “lecture of potential”. They happen way too often lately and almost always are as unwelcome as they are awkward. This time all I wanted to do was to find that damn Advil in my desk drawer before our secretary Jessica showed up with next my clients. I did not want to hear how I supposedly am this great natural leader. All that talk just makes me feel like a hypocrite. The monologue usually turns to Little boss at some point, also known as Assistant Manager Ed Weber and how his drinking habit was as transparent as the liquid in the little flask he kept in his shirt pocket. And how I’m not helping anybody, least of all him and me, when I do his job behind all of our backs. How that wouldn’t help my career. And how wonderful a career I have ahead of me. And so forth.

I like things going my way and so I prefer to take care of them myself The thing is, Henri likes me too much to be objective about this. So I do sometimes take care of stuff in the office. From refereeing coffee machine and dishwasher fights to writing up yearly reports and budget proposals over giving continued genius advice about extorting new office equipment from the IT guys, it would seem that I’m the “goto-girl” for every single person in this department. Or at least it does appear so to Henri. It is why he believes I have this huge untapped potential inside of me. Potential that would allow for a great future in banking.

The plain truth is that he is wrong. Not so much about the potential thing – I like things going my way and so I prefer to take care of them myself – it’s the banking thing he is wrong about. To be honest I don’t even know how I ended up here in the first place. It seemed a good idea after college and the salary allowed for a generous shoe budget but let’s be honest. It’s a fucking bank we’re talking about and I’m the kind of person who curses too much, and hates putting on suits, and getting up in the morning at dawn, and caring about the world’s economy. So believe me doc, when I tell you that I’m not hiding behind Weber because I am scared to show people what I can do. I hide behind him because I am scared about what happens to me, to my future, when they do. That is one banking rabbit hole I deliberately choose not to go down. The monologue usually ends with him urging me to put my application in for Weber’s job once the zero alcohol policy will finally be put into place. “This job should have been yours, Sara. You have been doing it for a long time now anyway.” See? I like how predictable he is. “Believe me when I say I fought for you…” Wait whaaat? Fought as in past tense? This might just be about the Grand boss and his call after all. “Management decided to go into a different direction. They won’t fire Weber just yet.” He continued. “Having been married to the mayor’s sister helps, I guess.” To be honest, it’s probably the only reason he made it this far. “Actually he just checked into rehab. They’re afraid firing him now will make them look bad or worse make them vulnerable for a lawsuit. So, they’re talking early retirement instead. He probably won’t be back at all.” So, Jessica was right. There was movement. “And they’ve already decided on a replacement?” I inquired tentatively. Knowing Henri, this bit of news was tougher on him than me. But you know what they say about band-aids. Better rip them of fast. “I brought your name up a bunch of times, Sara”, he swore. Of course, he did. It’s what he does.


“I know. But don’t sweat it. I’m pretty sure they don’t even know I even exist.” He still looked immensely uncomfortable, though. Was there more to it?

And why would I get upset about such a random thing than getting passed up for a promotion I didn’t even want in the first place? “They know exactly who you are. I think maybe… There is another reason they decided on this course of action. Do you know somebody by the name of Sam Clerveaux?, he wanted to know. “Clerveaux like the CEO Clerveaux?” It’s no coincidence this family is named after a town in Luxembourg. After all, they own half the Grand-Duchy and for that matter half of this bank, too. “Not like. As. He’s Clerveaux’s nephew.” I knew it. In this country, it all about who you know. And the Clerveaux’s, well, they know everybody. “Ah, I see. Did he at least work at a bank before?” You see doc, the Clerveaux’s are known for looking out for their own. That guy could very well have worked in a supermarket and they still would have given him the job. “SMBC” Sydney Melbourne Banking Corporation? Wow, not bad. For a Clerveaux at least. “That’s a good bank. How long did he work there.” This was good news indeed. SMBC usually doesn’t hire lost causes. “I don’t know. I don’t care. And it’s not a retail bank, so don’t even pretend like any of this makes any sense. He has nothing on you. Not your seniority, not your experience – and I’m confident to say this without even having met him – not your competence. He starts next Monday. And don’t be surprised when he shows up. He’s barely 26 and we both know that means…“ “They’ll eat him alive.” They are 26 people in this department. Another hundred work in various loans departments in other agencies across the country. All under Henri’s responsibility. I doubt, there will be a more than a handful this decision

is gonna sit well with. And then there is the privately owned other half of the bank. “I know it’s a lot to ask, but…” he started hesitantly. “You want me to watch out for him.” This was a statement. Not a question. You don’t cross the Clerveaux’s. That would be like crossing the Corleone’s. But with this mop and the recent changes everywhere? If I was Michel Clerveaux, I’d consider hiring Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson to protect my nephew. Another thought popped into my mind. “You think this is the first step of the plan?” “I don’t know. There’s talk of an audit.” Great, just what I needed. Suddenly my headache spread to my eyes. There was this weird pressure and almost burning sensation. “Are you ok?” Henri looked less worried than he looked suspicious. I hoped he didn’t smell the tequila discreetly oozing from my pores. “I have clients waiting Henri.” That wasn’t even a lie. I could see a nervous young couple waiting outside my office with all kinds of paperwork in hand. “Ok, we’ll talk more later.” He said and left. There you have it doc. Symptom number four. Ok, so it wasn’t exactly a sudden and violent outburst of tears. In that short moment however after Henri left and before that young couple full of hopes and dreams about a common future entered to see if the numbers agreed with their ideas of a home I felt like crying.

Suddenly my headache spread to my eyes. There was this weird pressure and almost burning sensation . I have never gotten emotional about work before. It’s something I am rather proud of. And why would I get upset about such a random thing than getting passed up for a promotion I didn’t even want in the first place. Right? That doesn’t make any sense at all. So, I had thought about putting my name in the ring. I hadn’t decided though.


That job is a challenge, it means longer hours, tougher cases, more corporate clients and more importantly it would mean to say goodbye to the weirdoes and crazies that show up every day asking me for money for the strangest things. Like this couple for instance. There I had them pegged for regular house hunters. But no, they desired money to launch the first Star Trek Convention in Luxembourg and the Greater Region. No worries, I don’t judge.

…to be continued

Follow all of Sara’s notes to her shrink, as selfish. will publish them chapter by chapter as a serialized novel in the next editions.



: : : :

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nadia


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