Self Care Guide by Self Care NW

By Leah Rhodes, Life Coach "Your Coach for Life"

This month's topic: Work - Life Balance

Website: www.selfcareNW.com Email: leahrhodes@outlook.com

Office: In Vancouver, WA

CONTENTS What is Self Care? Why a Self Care Guide? Self Care Assessment Review Your Score

In This Issue Articles  5 Ways to Find More Fulfillment in Life  Take the Quiz: Finding Balance through Mental Fitness  4 Tips to Better Life Balance Healthy Recipes  Easy Thai  Snacks that Satisfy Action Statements to supercharge your goals-achieving mindset

Created and designed by Leah Rhodes, Life Coach Phone: 360-990-0317 Email: leahrhodes@outlook.com Website: www.selfcarenw.com

Leah Rhodes, Life Coach, is available to speak to your group or organization. Presentations are tailored to the needs of your group. Please email to arrange a speaking engagement. leahrhodes@outlook.com or call 360-990-0317

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What is Self Care? Self Care (verb) 1. Active attention to personal needs 2. To develop balance in all life areas: physical, mental, social, financial, emotional, spiritual, occupational and environmental Stress is defined as the harmful physical and emotional responses that occur when the requirements of the job do not match the capabilities, resources, or needs of the worker, leading to poor health and possibly injuries (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention [CDC], 2013).

Symptoms of stress  Headaches  Grinding teeth  Sleep disturbances  Difficulty concentrating  Anxiety, jitteriness, and nervousness  Aggressive, territorial, and/or reckless behavior  Rigidity and inflexibility in the face of change  Gastrointestinal symptoms (indigestion, ulcers, increased gastric acid, constipation, diarrhea)  Job dissatisfaction  Decreased creativity and attention span  Increased errors in judgment  Depression  Cardiovascular diseases (such as hypertension, increased risk of a cardiovascular event such as a stroke or heart attack)  Musculoskeletal disorders (such as back pain)  Workplace injuries  Drug or alcohol abuse Symptoms of job burnout can be significant and include these health effects (Mark & Smith, 2012; Mayo Clinic, 2012; White, 2013):

• • • • • • •

Fatigue, Insomnia Depression/Anxiety Alcohol or substance abuse Heart disease, High cholesterol, Type 2 diabetes Stroke Obesity Negative effects on personal relationships

Why a monthly Self Care Guide? Anyone can take one class, read one article or even a book on Self Care. These are soon forgotten and never implemented. Developing a true and lasting lifestyle of Self Care that helps you to manage stress and prevent burnout requires steady and consistent attention. It is simple, fun, and takes very little time to incorporate these strategies into the flow of work life and personal life. Find the work-life balance today! It takes 21 - 28 days to create a habit. By practicing these Self Care skills each month, readers incorporate better habits and develop healthier thinking patterns. See significant improvement from the very first month.

Self Care Assessment Take this assessment each month to track your progress. Watch for changes due to a life event or a setback. Rate each item on the 1 to 5 scale. Add up your total score. Use the Rating Scale to learn your current status.

Rating Scale 5 – Always or daily 4 – Occasionally / few times per month 3 – Rarely unless I really need it 2 – Never / never tried it / don’t like it 1 – I didn’t know this was self care

Emotional and Mental Self Care

___ Spend time with supportive friends often ___ Express feelings, fears, and doubts openly rather than bottle them up ___ Feel my full range of feelings rather than feel restricted or nothing at all ___ Receive counseling with a therapist or clergy when needed ___ Take medications as prescribed for any mental health issues ___ Have one or more pets for love and companionship ___ Give and receive physical affection appropriately ___ Cultivate friendships and stay in touch with loved ones ___ Eliminate abusive and destructive relationships ___Mentally focus on positive aspects of any situation ___Recognize inner strength and courage ___Make mental choices to feel in control of yourself

Physical Self Care

___ Get enough sleep for my body’s needs ___ Tend to my personal hygiene and cleanliness ___ Eat balanced and nutritious meals daily ___ Engage in aerobic and cardiac exercise regularly ___ Engage in toning and stretching exercise regularly ___ Have a healthy, nurturing sexual relationship ___ Take vacations at least annually or have non-working weekends ___ Get medical attention when needed in a timely manner ___ Take medications as prescribed

On-the-job Self Care

___ Take regular breaks throughout the day (walk, snack, clear your mind) ___ Have a supportive supervisor or co-workers ___ Have opportunities for training and advancement ___ Feel satisfied in my work; feel valued and respected ___ Feel that I contribute to the world through my work ___ Receive regular evaluations of my work performance ___ Have the ability or opportunity to express my ideas ___ Work in a comfortable or safe environment ___ Have a balance of projects that keep my interest ___Work in an atmosphere of positive, encouraging professional development

Spiritual Self Care

___ Keep a personal journal or diary ___ Have quiet time to think, plan, dream and reflect ___ Attend church or worship formally or informally by choice ___ Pray or have a higher power or connection to something ___ Spend time in nature (beach, hike, ski, camp, yard, garden) ___ Engage in activities unrelated to work ___ Volunteer time or donate to a charity ___ Consciously feel a connection with inner self

Score yourself 35 – 25 points Your current self-care methods are good. You are in tune with your needs on many levels. This Guide will help you stay on track plus you will learn new skills each month. Keep up the good work! 25 – 20 points You are struggling to maintain consistent, healthy Self Care. You are experiencing health problems as a result of stress. Review your action plan to make Self Care a part of your daily life. Seek counseling and medical care to improve your current issues. The Self Care Guide will open up your awareness of healthy skills each month. You are worth it! 15 – 20 points You are not aware that Self Care is vital to your well-being. You may not even know what Self Care is. At your current rate of functioning, you could be headed for serious stress reaction. You need to break the cycle that you are in. The Self Care Guide will help you to tune in to your body and your mind. It’s time to find balance and harmony. It’s easier than you think!

Review Your Assessment Score Self Care improves month-to-month through greater awareness of barriers, successes, changes, and environmental elements that are beyond your control. Answer the following questions for deeper insights into your current status: 1.

Identify any losses, changes in routine, new problems or worsening problems

In what areas do I have the most difficulty meeting my needs?

What barriers are preventing me from making progress in this area?

What stress symptoms do I experience?

On a scale from 1-10, how committed am I to my Self Care?

What would improve that number?

Where have I made the most progress?

Who are the support people that can help me with better Self Care?

What skills do I have to improve my Self Care?

10. What questions do I need to ask to remove barriers to better Self Care?

Start Now! Repeat these Action Statements several times each day. Post them where you can easily see them throughout your day. Your subconscious mind will immediately recognize the command and will manifest improvements in your work and life right now.

Action Statements I know that I am in control of my own thoughts and feelings My needs are important. I planfully meet my needs in an appropriate way. I am willing to take an Action Step forward and fill my needs identified in this analysis. I identify at least 3 people who are good support resources for me. 7

What is The Work - Life Balance? The phrase "work-life balance" has been googled more than 50 million times. There are 9,000 books offering advice on life balance and nearly 7,000 of those speaking to self-care. Obviously there is a great interest in striking a balance in our demanding lives. Seekers are not prioritizing time management as much as they want to find, know and acknowledge themselves realistically. Then they want a plan to address the imbalance they feel in a straight-forward approach. Some of the symptoms of this work-life imbalance are:  Anxiety  Worry  Not being present in the moment  Difficulty tuning out work thoughts and problems when spending time with family and friends  Low quality of sleep  Muscle aches and pains  Digestive distress . . . just to name a few. Seekers of balance report that life would be more fulfilling if they could:  Not feel guilty about leaving work to attend a family function, to attend their child's sporting event or academic activity  Feel (emotionally) supported by their employer in prioritizing personal and family needs  Feel rested and refreshed after a weekend of focusing on family and personal time  Notice a reduction in stressrelated symptoms, tensions and illnesses such as migraines, head colds, fatigue and low energy

Ways to Finding More Fulfillment in Life 1.

Discover or rediscover your ultimate purpose

Almost all of us have pondered our purpose in life, why we are placed in our particular circumstances, and what we hope to achieve in the big picture. Byron believes that he is a good problem solver. He is an observer of the physical world and he sees that nature has answers that humans can learn from. Byron teaches physics at a local college. He loves sharing his insights and backing them up with scientific research. He feels he is making a difference. Byron would not feel as fulfilled if he were a mechanic or a landscaper or a dentist because these do not fit with his ultimate purpose. Maria feels that her purpose in life is to help others find their direction. She is a career counselor. Fortunately her job fits well with her perceived life mission. She finds great satisfaction in her work when a student or a job seeker discovers a vocation that motivates them. Maria would not feel as successful if she worked as a CPA, an interior designer, or a chef as these vocations do not fulfill her perceived ultimate purpose. Where do you spend most of your time?  Working from home?  In an office?  Traveling?  Running a business?  Under a car?  In front of a computer?  Caring for others? Does the place where you spend most of your time create a sense of fulfillment most of the time? Do you feel that it matches with your ultimate purpose in life? If not, you may be considering a change or searching for a way to create a greater sense of purpose.

2. Live in tune with your values Nothing creates greater dissonance than living contrary to your core values and morals.

Remind yourself what you value most: Family? Health? Service? Faith? Prosperity? Power? Recognition? Invention? Hard work? Nature? Exploration? Education? It is ok to have many things that you value. By prioritizing them, you can discover how to best order your life so that you feel more fulfilled. Of course, you may have limitations depending on your circumstances, but only you will know if you are being true to yourself.

3. Factor in your talents Yes, you have them! Lots of them.  Do you have a knack for making people laugh?  Can you rhyme effortlessly?  Do you have athletic abilities to push your body to greater performance?  Can you tell without looking that a chord is in C major?  Can you keep plants alive and arrange flowers or greenery?  Do you have a talent for memorizing?  Is your brain a rolodex of names and numbers?  Can you create or read a spreadsheet?  Do you feel a special connection with children, the elderly, the disabled, animals, or any specific group?  Can you create culinary delights without a recipe?  Can you instinctively feel the right amount of torque when tightening a bolt?  Can you carry several items on a tray without dropping them?  Do you know how to capture the attention of an audience? No two readers of this list will be able to do all of these. Whether it seems big or small, insignificant or crucial, all talents are needed in this world. When you know and use your talents, you feel a connection with

your life that is very fulfilling. Have fun with your talents, no matter how odd!

4. Know the difference between Wholeness and Happiness Zen master Mary Jaksch and author of the article "How to Add Meaning to Your Life (And Feel Incredibly Fulfilled)" reminds us that Wholeness and Happiness are not the same thing. Pursuing happiness may leave us feeling empty and disappointed. That is because happiness is a result, not an ambition. According to Jaksch, happiness does not teach us anything, it is our challenges and failures that make us grow and teach us who we are. Since wholeness is more in line with our goal to find fulfillment in life, this distinction is important. Wholeness means to be complete or undivided. If you want to be more whole and complete, you will work on connecting and integrating all parts of your life: work, family, faith, recreation, health, education, service, and relationships.

5. Recognize that you have all you need to succeed We live in a world that places value on MORE. It is both exciting and irritating that there is a new version of the iPhone every 6 months! It is easy to chase getting more and better toys. In the spirit of fulfillment and wholeness, step back and realize that you have all you need to succeed. Even with limitations of physical ability, mental acuity, scholarly achievements, financial resources, and health conditions, you can succeed in your ultimate purpose just as you are. You have the necessities of sunlight, oxygen, gravity, food, clothing, shelter, love and friendship to be who you are meant to be. You have values and morals that guide your conscience and your decisions. You have unique talents that bless yourself and others. In the true and lasting perspective, you are enough. You have all you need to succeed. It may take some adjustments to use all that you have to reach your goals, but you have the ability to make that happen.

Take the Quiz

Finding Balance through Mental Fitness There are ten factors that contribute to the mental fitness of peak performers. These high-performing people use their minds intentionally, in specific ways and look at the world in a strategic manner. To find your score, read each factor and give yourself a rating on it from 1 (I do not have this skill) to 10 (I really have this skill), or anywhere in between. Total your score and see the chart at the end for your score. 1. They View Life as an Adventure: They have reflected on what they want out of life and have decided that life is to be an exciting adventure, and they remind themselves of that daily. 2. They Live Life With a Healthy Sense Of Urgency: They realize that life is short and they are going to wring out all the excitement, quality and grandeur life has to offer. 3. They Make Meaning Out of an Often Meaningless World: They know that for life to hold significance, they must form a worldview that makes sense with their values and priorities. 4. They Cultivate and Maintain a Strong Sense of Humor: Many people have not developed the ability to laugh at themselves or at life when it goes sour. This is a skill that peak performers use as a major stress buffer. 5. They Place Things in Perspective: Peak performers use "Percentage Thinking" to see things in context so they can choose how to react to events in their day. They know all items don't cause the same stress. 6. They Develop Mental Toughness: Peak performers live by this credo: "Don't hope for an easy life; strive to be a strong person." Can you apply this to your life?

7. They Are Supreme Problem-Solvers: They have the flexibility and adaptability to solve, avoid or reduce the problems we all face. They welcome these as avenues to growth. 8. They Maintain Focus Under Pressure: Top performers live in the present moment, and even though they reflect for planning purposes, they live in the here and now. 9. They Recover From Stress Intentionally: They use the principle of periodization to renew their reserves so they can go out again and "do battle". 10. They Continually Reinvent Themselves: Peak performers endlessly re-formulate goals and their vision of life as they achieve each step in their master plan. Scoring If you scored 0-25 you are in the beginning stages of learning how to become stronger mentally. Absorb all you can. If you scored 26-50 you are making some headway, but still have much to learn. Jump in head first. If you scored 51-75 you are building a solid mental fitness program. Keep up the good earwork. Source: http://www.mentalgamecoach.com/articles/MentalFitnessQuiz.html

4 Tips to Better Life Balance There are plenty of things in life that we cannot control, but here are some ideas to help you make use of those things you can control.

Something to look forward to

Schedule downtime, family time, and personal time into your schedule. Most people get up, shower and get off to work right away. What if you decided to get up an hour earlier to enjoy time with your spouse, or exercise or surf the web or read something completely unrelated to work. Keep your appointment for date night, girl's night, poker night, weekly family dinner with the relatives or anything else that you look forward to doing. If you get into the habit of cancelling these necessary energy refreshers, you allow other things to take away the balance you seek.

2. Eliminate time wasters Is there a co-worker who gossips, complains or entertains rumors who seems to drop by your office too frequently? Take charge of your time. Drop out of these conversations. Use that time more productively at work. Notice the impulse to check your Facebook page, sports scores, news headlines, twitter and other ways that your smartphone steals your precious time. If it's not necessary, leave it out! If it doesn't contribute to the enjoyment of your work life or your personal life, drop it!

3. Outsource it The first time I heard that you could order groceries online and have them delivered I knew that one of my most hated weekly chores was over! You can avoid the delivery fee by purchasing one of the weekly featured items, and who doesn't need extra paper towels or batteries? Can someone else do some of your errands for you? Would it be worth it to hire a neighborhood youth to help with your lawn or pick up dry cleaning or sort your recycling?

Multi-task your commute The morning and evening commute are excellent places to use a time waster to get things done on your phone or device. Use your hands-free feature to record memos and reminders, to make lists of things to do, people to contact and ideas for projects. Based on an article at WebMD.com http://www.webmd.com/health-insurance/protect-health-13/balance-life?page=1

Healthy Recipes Thai Grilled Chicken Thighs Prep Time: 10 mins Total Time: 25 mins Servings: 4 Ingredients 12 boneless skinless chicken thighs 1/3 cup chopped fresh basil 1/3 cup chopped fresh coriander (cilantro) 1 tablespoon minced ginger 1 tablespoon minced garlic 1 tablespoon minced chili 1 1/2 tablespoons soy sauce 1 1/2 tablespoons fish sauce 1 1/2 tablespoons olive oil 1 1/2 tablespoons brown sugar Directions Combine all ingredients except chicken in a bowl. Mix thoroughly. Add chicken and leave to marinate at least one hour, preferably longer. Grill chicken until golden brown and cooked through. Serves 4 to 6 people.

Vegetarian Thai Red Curry This flavorful vegetarian Thai red curry recipe matches sweet potatoes with fresh dandelion greens and asparagus, though you can substitute cauliflower florets, cubed Asian eggplant, squash or carrots. If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re using cauliflower or eggplant, add them earlier, when the potato is only partially cooked, as they will take longer to cook than asparagus. Classic Thai red curry is flavored with lime leaves and Thai basil. If you find them, use them, but even without them the vegetable curry will still be a knockout. Makes: 4 servings Total Time: 30 minutes Low calorie | Low cholesterol | Low sodium | Diabetes appropriate | Gluten free |

Ingredients 1 14-ounce can â&#x20AC;&#x153;liteâ&#x20AC;? coconut milk, divided 2 tablespoons vegetarian Thai red curry paste (see Tip), or to taste 1 pound sweet potatoes, peeled and cut into 11/2-inch cubes 2 cups water 1 bunch asparagus, trimmed and cut into 2-inch lengths 2 fresh cayenne chiles or bird chiles (see Tip), cut into long strips (optional) 2 whole lime leaves (fresh or frozen; see Tip) or 2 teaspoons lime zest 2 cups coarsely chopped dandelion greens or arugula 1/2 cup fresh basil leaves, preferably Thai basil 1/4 teaspoon salt Preparation 1. Heat a wide heavy pot over medium-high heat. Add about 2 tablespoons coconut milk and curry paste, stirring to dissolve it. Cook, stirring, until aromatic, 30 seconds to 1 minute. Add 1 cup of the coconut milk and cook for 1 minute, then add sweet potatoes. Stir to coat the pieces and cook, stirring frequently, for 3 minutes more. 2. Add water and bring to a boil. Cook until the sweet potatoes are almost cooked through, about 5 minutes. Add the remaining coconut milk, asparagus, chiles (if using) and lime leaves (or lime zest); cook for 1 minute. Stir in dandelion greens (or arugula), basil and salt until well combined. Continue cooking until the asparagus is just tender, 1 to 2 minutes more. Remove lime leaves, if necessary, before serving. Tips & Notes: Red curry paste is a blend of chile peppers, garlic, lemongrass and galangal (a root with a flavor similar to ginger). Look for it in jars or cans in the Asian section of the supermarket or specialty stores. The heat and salt level can vary widely depending on brand. Be sure to taste as you go. Per serving: 175 calories; 7 g fat (5 g sat, 0 g mono); 0 mg cholesterol; 25 g carbohydrates; 0 g added sugars; 5 g protein; 4 g fiber; 354 mg sodium; 433 mg potassium. Carbohydrate Servings: 1 1/2 Exchanges: 1 starch, 1 vegetable, 1 1/2 fat

Snacks That Satisfy Whatever you are craving, whatever your mood, one of these is sure to satisfy. Crunchy Kashi TLC Crunchy Granola Bars Don't eat them in a crowded theater â&#x20AC;&#x201D; no one will be able to hear the movie. These bars have joined Nature Valley as the go-to granola bar for health and flavor. Two bars (per package) total about 180 calories. Available in Honey Toasted 7-Grain, Pumpkin Spice Flax, or Roasted Almond Crunch.

Chewy Dried fruit Apricots are probably the most popular of dried fruit. But have you tried dried mango or papaya slices? They're marvelously sweet and chewy. Five spears of either total around 150 calories. Too sweet? You can have roughly 10 rings of dried apple for the same calorie count, and they're even chewier. Juicy Grape tomatoes About half the size of a cherry tomato with thicker skin, less water and more sweetness, grape tomatoes are a wonderful bite, and barely 2 calories each. That means you can eat as many as you can afford to buy.

Salty Kalamata Olives Enjoy the oval shape and bold flavor of these salty Greek olives, and even sucking on the pits â&#x20AC;&#x201D; it keeps us from

eating more! Each olive is 10.5 calories, assuming it's not dripping in olive oil. So 10 of them make a lovely, 105-calorie snack. Sweet Chocolate-covered raisins Each one is around 4 calories, no worse than a carob- or yogurt-covered raisin. So go for the gusto. Two-dozen of them is just 96 calories. And talk about sweet: Raisins are naturally rich in sugar, and, then there's that luscious milk chocolate. Savory Buffalo jerky Of all the jerky types, buffalo is the leanest; an ounce is 80 calories, compared with 115 for beef jerky, and contains just a half-gram of fat. As to protein, that one-ounce serving is an amazing 15 grams, making this the ultimate snack for those wanting to fuel their muscles. If you buy the peppered variety, a little piece goes a long, long way. Source: http://www.rd.com/food/fun/snack-foods-to-satisfy-your-9-types-of-hunger/

A web search of healthy snacks that satisfy will reveal dozens of ideas. Just the right snack at just the right time can help you feel energy, comfort, tension relief, give you just enough of a break to stay on track so that you can keep the balance you are working to achieve.

Action Statements for Work - Life Balance I prioritize the balance in my work and personal life I keep commitments to friends and family for recreation and support My schedule reflects my values for balance and regeneration My body and my mind are refreshed and refocused when I maintain good balance I excel at my work and creatively find solutions I release all impulses to electronic devices and to people and things that steal my time and energy I move forward with my plans freely, willingly, easily I enjoy the sincere and unending support and love of friends and family My sleep is healing, deep, replenishing I manage my finances with wisdom, maturity, patience and priority I release all resentments, blame, anger, criticism and judgments

The difference between a stepping stone and a stumbling block is where you put your foot.