Self-Reflection by Camryn Jones

Self- Reflection

Dedicated to those who feel like they are alone and wishing for someone to listen to how they are feeling.

Preface

The idea of poems to express different emotions that persons go through, stemmed from my personal experiences. “Self-Reflection” reveals the feeling of being hidden or just wanting to disappear. Along the line of these poems there is a sense of hope and reaching the moment of having love for oneself. But “Self-Reflection” book will show you that things will get better regardless of how it maybe for someone to not listen to you or feeling like you’re not worthy but you are.

Living beneath the shadows

I just feel so hidden

Never seen

Never heard

Just hidden

I open my mouth to speak but all that comes out is silence To them I am hidden

It’s like my voice is being tied together by ropes

It’s like my voice is trapped

I say one word but they never want to listen To them I am hidden

Thorns and vines tighten around my throat

As my voice becomes more trapped

I just feel so hidden

Never seen

Never heard

Just hidden

Screaming and pleading to be set free…just to be heard

To them I am hidden

I’m dying to be heard as I fight for air

Trying to set myself free but it’s too late…

I am tied down…

Will never be seen

Never heard

Forever hidden…

- Hidden

I slowly slide myself against the cold wall to the floor. I find myself curled up in my corner As the clock ticks by. I must find the key to get myself out of this cold room but how? I am cold and alone…waiting for someone to save me. But will anybody ever save me?

I try to crack a smile but one drop…two drops… fall down on my face. The pain of forcing a smile to hide the pain. As I continue to wait for someone to save me. I am slowly starting to lose hope of being saved. As I light my candle to find a light to save me.

I reach my hand out hoping for someone to grab my hand but nobody is there. Why won’t they save me? Do they not care? Must I continue being here cold and alone? I just want someone to save me…just be there for me. Is that too much to ask? I guess it is too much to ask.

The candle gives out forever. The light forever fades away. Darkness slowly takes over me. I am stranded… cold…alone…no one will ever save me. Nobody saved me.

- Save Me

I am living behind a mask

A mask of happiness

A mask of joy

But in reality behind this mask Is a soul of sadness…

I am living behind a mask

A mask of not being accepted

This soul behind this mask has been crying out… But this soul can never be heard…

I am living behind a mask

A mask of fear

This soul behind this mask

Has been constantly pushed to the floor… This soul is slowly fading away…

I am living behind a mask

A mask of weakness

This soul behind this mask Is struggling to hold on… This soul doesn’t know How long it can keep fighting…

- The Mask

Disappearing

I occasionally wish I could just go Vanish away

From those I used to be close to Even our relationship as family has changed Only those people that share the same roof Relatives turned into strangers

We’ll get together because we used to be close-knit Like a jigsaw puzzle that fits in place

We currently only fight

We argue over the small things That’s supposed to be so simple

Disappearing

If there wasn’t constant fighting, it wouldn’t be so unpleasant

During those times, disappearance starts to feel more real than just a fantasy

If only it were as simple as squinting

It would seem so effortless, and peaceful to vanish

Similar to how I get peace when I am asleep

I feel like it’s the only time I can escape The negativity in the outside world, my home, and my head

Disappearing

The action of departing

There’s no way to find a soul

Every trace of life swept away

Nobody is aware of my whereabouts or my activities

Possibly, I’ll finally enter my thoughts but possibly not No more conflict

Don’t cry anymore

Pain is over

No more pain

- Disappearing

- Scream

Silence is all they hear

Crying out for help

Reaching out for you to hear my voice

Emptiness is all I feel Alone is all I will be

My tears drown me away

The worst kind of aroma is disappointment and that’s all I am to you - Smell of failure

Trying to find the light beneath the shadows

Genuinely existing

Lack of emotion

Psychologically shattered

Spiritually emptied

I looked everywhere for fulfillment

I looked for it in unexpected places

I looked for it deep within roots

Roots that reach far

Arms that spread broad

The tiny, delicate seed that I am That seeps beneath the ground

I must grow tall

As I blossom with grace

On a light breezy evening

Accept my natural beauty

Always show my true colours

And I will find my true light

Just bloom away

And I will find my purpose

- Searching for that purpose

I have this burning desire

That burns within my soul

A yearning for something

This desire that is uncontrollable

I have this deep desire

I crave the coziness of acceptance

To desire is a natural impulse

So embrace me with this burning desire

Extinguish this fire

It is in your embrace that I seek my happiness

Just give that comforting hand

To hold me close

To ease the load off my chest

The desire to find trust in them Find the comfort that I acquire For their acceptance my soul can be healed

Let me grasp for your hand For it is through the tenderness Of those who love me That my soul Will be saved

- Desire

Laying down on clouds

Floating away

As I close my eyes

Taking a deep breath in and out

A dream of laughter

A dream where the sun simmers on my skin

The dark clouds will transform into sunbeams

All my worries will slowly fade away

I cling on to this hope of life

Confident that it will be seen someday

I will hold on to my dream

A dream will soon become a reality

I imagine my dream to be filled with peace and love A place where we celebrate our differences And work together to tear apart any obstacles

I dream about a universe where love reigns supreme Where we always show concern and kindness The light that will guide us to the everlasting dream

- Dream

I always look deep within Always try to look on the Brighter things in life

My compass is having hope I understand that Things can be difficult But I refuse to Accept that As sufficient

When dark shadows Form over me And the universe drags me down I turn my flashlight on within The dark shadows

My beacon will lead me to Hope And peace

I have a long road Ahead Of me I feel some sort Of hope, deep within my heart

Overcoming many challenges is what I feel like I can do

I always see my glass as half-empty But that fuels my fire of being positive Being open-minded I will Overcome any Challenges And Reset

- Deep Within

Inhale Exhale

Enjoy the feeling of peace

No more worries

No more doubts

Feel the weight

Being lifted off my shoulders

Just let it all out

- Let it all out

the mirror

see a reflection of who I am not and who I want to be

Escaping the darkness beneath the shadows

Concentrate on the things I have Rather than the things I do not Allow the positivity wave to glide by Having a positive attitude heart I can overcome anything Because I have the power within

Being positive is a lovely feeling It makes me want to sing and dance

To make me feel like a shining star It makes the world seem a bit brighter

Embrace the positivity And let it push towards my fate Stand my ground

Put on my high heel boots And walk the runway

- Positivity

The light switch flickers on The room is no longer dark They see me as me

I am no longer a shadow

I am no longer invisible My ropes concealing me Have finally been untied

I am no longer feeling

Like I am suffocating

I can scream on the mountain top And hear my voice echo

They finally talk back to me

When I say a word

I no longer feel inferior

I am now free

I am now seen - Seen

As I bounce on my cloud of happiness

I gaze over my world

Of magic and joy

Everything just feels right

I’m flying high in the sky

Everything is so heavenly and pure

On my fluffy cloud

With the sun beaming on my face

Taking a breath of feeling alive

My cloud

My world of happiness

My world of hope

All mind to keep

- Clouds of Happiness

The light glows above as I reach out to hold it

My light within the palms of my hands

The light guides me

To see the beauty of this universe

That I am capable of becoming

The glow within my light frees me

Helps me to find my meaning in life

It radiates from within my soul

To make me feel whole again

My beacon of light never goes out

It guides me through my darkest shadows

The warmth illuminates my dark room

It fights away my dark shadows

That used to hide my face

- My special light

I am strong I did it Through all my Struggles I made it to the End

- I am worthy

On your set Ready

Go Grab that baton Pass It around Cross the finish line Victory is me Victory is you We Are Victorious

-Victory is us

Camryn Jones has always had a passion for writing ever since she was in high school. She would handwrite books in notebooks in her spare time when she was in second and third form. Her friends would always read her books she wrote and was always eager to read more chapters.

She started writing poetry in July 2019 at the age of 17 which consists of emotions that persons go through on a daily basis. Her poetry book “Self-Reflection” speaks on behalf of those who struggle with self-doubt, feeling invisible and valuing themselves

Writing is the best way to depict emotions and that is her style of writing.

Now here is the inside of what goes in the minds of persons within this world.