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question (What needs to happen for us to get along?). It works well because it’s very hard to argue with.”Alan Redman, a business psychologist at the Criterion Partnership, says: “You should ask yourself if it’s a ‘thinking’ falling-out or a ‘feeling’ falling-out. With the latter, you might just try a very different approach like being unconditionally positive. Smile often and make eye contact. Give the person positive strokes. Treat it as a very different relationship. “If it’s a thinking falling-out, look for points you can agree on and avoid those you don’t.” Mr. Redman says that it is actually very hard to rebuff a sincere approach. “We’re social and we’re wired to respond like for like,” he explains. Mr. Leibling adds that you should not expect perfection, but a good enough relationship is often good enough. “Ask questions like, ‘What can I do to ensure this doesn’t happen again?”and “Can we try and find a different way forward?”

Mr. Abbey adds: “If you’re rebuffed continually, you may have to say, ‘I did everything I could. I need to find a way to work with the relationship as it is.”’

What if I am in the right? Galling as it may seem, you will have to be the bigger person here. However, you should remember that even if the other person has overreacted, these things are rarely completely black and white. “Recognize that you may have a very different conflict style to them,” says Mr. Abbey. “Bear in mind too that a major falling-out very rarely has a single cause.” Mr. Leibling believes that some people just have a very low threshold, but that it is better to try to work with them, within reason. “You have to allow the person to save face as they’re not going to admit that you’re right. A lot of people do see being reasonable as a weakness,”he says. Source Link: http://www. ft.com/

What if they won’t accept an apology? Mr. Leibling advises: “You might say, ‘I’ll ask you when you’re not angry. I’m looking for a constructive response.”

HUMAN RESOURCES DEFINITION

Ethics:

set of standards of conduct and moral judgment that help to determine right and wrong behavior.

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