SEEMA Magazine October Issue

OCTOBER 2020

BACK TO SCHOOL COVID TIMES PLUS

BEAUTY, FOOD, TRAVEL, & MORE

Boys Don’t Cry SITTING DOWN WITH SID MALLYA

Social distancing is the most effective tool we have for slowing the spread of the coronavirus. And that means staying home, if you can.

Work from home. Play at home. Stay at home.

If you must go out, keep your social distance—six feet, or two arm-lengths apart. Young. Elderly. In between.

It’s going to take every one of us. If home really is where the heart is, listen to yours and do the life-saving thing.

Visit coronavirus.gov for the latest tips and information from the CDC.

#AloneTogether TOGETHER, WE CAN HELP SLOW THE SPREAD.

PIONEERS | SEEMA

OCTOBER 2020

A SUBTLER

SHADE OF

BEAUTY

SEEMA HARI

OCTOBER 2020 | SEEMA.COM | 5

Pioneers Romy Gill page 14.

Fashion page 42.

Travel page 52.

CONTENTS 6 CONTRIBUTORS

36

COVID Diaries —The Toll it Takes on Health Care Workers

7 GOING BEYOND LIMITS HEALTHY LIVING PIONEERS 38 Seven Ways to Live 8 Seema Hari: Harnessing Healthy

the Power of Darkness 40 Get the Best Night’s 14 The Irrepressible

Sleep of Your Life

Romy Gill

MENTAL HEALTH 18 COVID’s Triple Burden

Effect on South Asian Women 22 The Long Arm of

a Taboo

FEATURES

Return to School

34 The Viral Risk of a

4 | SEEMA.COM | OCTOBER 2020

FASHION 42 Designer Picks for Fall BEAUTY 44 Treat Yourself to Our

Favorite Ayurvedic Beauty Products

FOOD 46 Stay at Home South

Asian Recipes

48

Fall Vegetables for the South Asian Palate

TRAVEL 50 Traveling in the Time

of COVID 52 Best Place to Retire for

Women over 50

ON THE COVER

Boys Don’t Cry — Sitting Down With Sid Mallya

26

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OWNER/DEVELOPER: JAGDISH KULKARNI, MDOCTOBER 2020

| SEEMA.COM | 5

MEET OUR

CONTRIBUTORS EDITOR IN CHIEF

SEEMA KUMAR CONTRIBUTING EDITOR

SOUMYA SHANKAR CREATIVE DIRECTOR

SAJID MOINUDDIN DESIGN

HB DESIGN PHOTOGRAPHER

ASH GUPTA WRITERS

EDUARD BANULESCU ADAM CARPENTER MELANIE FOURIE RADHIKA IYENGAR JULIAN JACKSON AKANKSHA SINGH JORDANA WEISS PRITIKA YASHASWI BRAND, DIGITAL AND SOCIAL MEDIA

ANIKA SHARMA VRUTI PATEL

SEEMA™ ISSUE 004 | OCTOBER 2020

EMPOWERING SOUTH ASIAN WOMEN GLOBALLY SEEMA KUMAR, FOUNDER

COPYRIGHT © 2020 SEEMA, JAYARAM, LLC SEEMA.COM

PUBLISHED AT P.O. BOX 814, PENNINGTON, NJ 08534

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ON THE COVER:

SID MALLYA (SEE STORY, PAGE 26). PHOTOGRAPHED BY ASH GUPTA FOR 838 MEDIA GROUP SEEMA HARI (SEE STORY, PAGE 8). PHOTOGRAPHED BY SHAMAYIM SHACARO @SHAMAYIM 6 | SEEMA.COM | OCTOBER 2020

EDIT | SEEMA

GOING

BEYOND LIMITS

F

or most of us a pandemic like COVID-19 is a once-in-a-lifetime experience. With a vaccine on the horizon, there is hope that we could end it, and relegate it to history. But there is another public health burden in the making for which there is yet no vaccine: mental health. It leaves almost no one untouched today.

As we approach World Mental Health Day on October 10, a small silver lining on the dark cloud of COVID-19 is that it has brought mental health issues out in the open.

Most of us are enduring considerable stress, whether we are aware of it or not. Combine the feelings of social isolation, the fear of contracting COVID, the anxiety of going back to work, doubts about sending children back to school, the worry about losing jobs or the economy flatlining, burnout from being on the frontlines... The mind quails, the spirit shrinks. You have a powder keg of pent-up emotions just waiting to blow. It does not help that you cannot rely on the solace and release provided by sports, movies, shopping and restaurants. You have, in short, breeding grounds for a mental health pandemic.

According to Axia Women’s Health, a community network of healthcare professionals focused on women’s health, women more acutely feel the emotional impact of COVID, including a significant increase in depression.

Women are also experiencing a disproportionate burden of the stress when it comes to job loss, home schooling, and home care. Further, domestic violence has increased as families are confined to the home and women are trapped in situations with no relief.

How does one cope? The good news is that we now are more aware of mental health issues, and that there

are many resources available for those who seek help and therapies, including natural solutions to help address mental health issues. But perhaps the biggest barrier we must overcome is the insidious enemy of stigma and silence.

This World Mental Health Day, we must strive to end the silence that surrounds mental illness and eliminate centuries-old vestiges of stigma that still prevent people from speaking up about their struggles and seeking help.

In this issue of SEEMA, we focus on mental health and well-being, bringing you inspiring stories of people coping with mental health issues, and working every day to ensure their well-being. They share their experiences in the hope that they will convince others that it is all right to talk about mental health issues and to seek help.

October 10, the World Health Organization will host, for the first time, a global online advocacy event on mental health. It aims to encourage investment in mental health and to provide people information about “what we can all do to improve our mental health and how we can help make sure that quality mental health care is available to everyone who needs it.”

So, as we work to put an end to the coronavirus pandemic, let us also keep an eye on the “crisis within the crisis.” We need to be better prepared for the potential spread of mental illnesses, and so work to find ways to diagnose, treat, and prevent them.

Let us also advocate for more investment in prevention and treatment, and work together to mobilize voices to wipe out the stigma around mental illness – to ultimately support better mental health and well-being for all. d

SEEMA KUMAR, FOUNDER

OCTOBER 2020 | SEEMA.COM | 7

PIONEERS | SEEMA

5 | SEEMA.COM

PIONEERS | SEEMA

Harnessing the

Power of Darkness

Seema Hari learned that she didn’t have a problem to fix, only a lot of creativity to unleash AKANKSHA SINGH

PHOTO: Lara Kaur @lara_kaur HENNA BY Sabreena Haq @ritualbydesign

I

t starts at seven: the bullying over her skin color, when children on the playground cast derogatory slurs on her. Then it comes from authority figures – namely, teachers and relatives. And eventually, the bigger issue becomes apparent: Indian society purposefully and mistakenly sees darker skin as something to be fixed.

This (back)story belongs to Seema Hari, a dark-skinned Indian anti-colorism activist. But it’s not her backstory that’s really of interest here.

Rather, what happens in the after. After a teacher sent her to the back of a dance rehearsal in school – not for being a bad dancer, but for being too dark to dance in the front row to Boney M’s “Brown Girl In The Ring.”

After friends and relatives would give her tubes of Fair and Lovely and Vicco Turmeric (none of which she ever used, knowing, she says, that even if they worked, they wouldn’t do much). After she’d almost given up as relatives told her parents she’d be a burden, unwanted, according to them, on account of her skin color. After she considered suicide as an out, stopping only to think of the double-edged sword it would be for her parents (once again being criticized by society) if she went through with it.

“It took a long time to repair the wounds I had,” says Hari. But repair them she did. Today, she is a DJ, a singer, a filmmaker, a photographer, and a developer for Snapchat. Most prominently, with her dark skin, long OCTOBER 2020 | SEEMA.COM | 9

PHOTO: Pavithra Ramasubramanium @pavithraphotography

PIONEERS | SEEMA

#0# | SEEMA.COM | OCTOBER 2020

PIONEERS | SEEMA

PHOTO: Anuj Goyal @nujent

“I HOPE PEOPLE GO MAD [WORKING OUT] HOW TO DEFINE ME. THERE REALLY SHOULDN’T BE A LIMIT TO HOW WE GET DEFINED.”

Seema Hari: Engineer, activist, model, singer, filmmaker, photographer, DJ. She wears each hat with remarkable aplomb

black hair, enviable cheek bones, and disarming smile– a model.

There is a seemingly cosmic irony in the fact her name (as you might know from the title of this magazine), means “the limit” in Hindi. “I hope people go mad [trying] to define me,” she jokes. “There really shouldn’t be a limit to how we get defined.”

And she is near-impossible to define in a single world. Except, if one had to choose a word, they might go with “authentic.” With an Instagram following of 17,000 (and counting), she might even be called an influencer.

But it is through her Instagram profile that the various facets to her persona come together. Between the photographs of her modeling, day-inthe-life selfies, and fanart, are a kaleidoscope of posts about things she cares about: colorism, naturally, but also social justice and environmental issues. “The world is your oyster but not your ashtray,” she urges in a post about how cigarette butts take

decades to degrade, following one of her routine beach cleanups. “Justice for Jayaraj and Bennicks,” she posted after the deaths of father-son victims of police brutality in India. “[I] speak about casteism, racism, sexism, transphobia, religious supremacy, fascism etc. because they all are systems that rely on othering humans,” she writes in a raw, heartfelt Instagram post dated July 8, 2020 that garnered 3,500 likes.

“All these things are just part of who I am,” says Hari. “I can’t really separate anything from anything. [I’m] passionate about technology, I’ve kind of studied social media as a platform [and] my activism is mostly about my life.”

The same is true about her modeling – the representation she rarely had as a child is, at least on some level, about her life. When she emerged from a bout of depression in college, thanks to close friends who defended her against colorist slurs, OCTOBER 2020 | SEEMA.COM | 11

“I REMEMBER FOLLOWING NANDITA DAS AND DARK IS BEAUTIFUL BACK IN THE DAY. THAT REALLY HAD AN EFFECT ON ME.” 12 | SEEMA.COM | OCTOBER 2020

PHOTO: Simrah Farrukh @simrahfarrukh

her self-esteem grew. Hari finally “gave” herself permission to feed into her creative pursuits.

“I never called myself a creative person,” she says. “Never. I think that’s also related to how we’re not allowed to think that we are worthy of being creative and being in front of the camera because we don’t see anything like that. We don’t see people taking that risk. [The] little representation was super helpful. I remember following Nandita Das and Dark is Beautiful back in the day, that really had an effect on me, although there were so many years of damage.”

Since then, Hari’s creativity has outperformed itself. She went on to become an ambassador for Dark is Beautiful herself in 2019. Later that year, when she moderated a panel for We The Women, she wore a patch on her blue-and-white dress that read “Kali,” a word she’d proudly reclaimed as her own.

It was in 2016 that she really gained influence while arguing for anti-col-

PHOTO: Idan Berdichev @idan.berdichev

PIONEERS | SEEMA

PIONEERS | SEEMA

PHOTO: Paula Neves @ttlens

“FOR THE FIRST TIME, SOMEONE HAD CALLED ME KALI AND I FELT NOTHING BUT PROUD.”

orism. That was when she wrote a viral Facebook post in which she recounted how she met an artist on a Mumbai train who gave her a sketch of Kali, the Hindu goddess, that looked eerily like her.

“For the first time, someone had called me Kali and I felt nothing but proud,” Hari says in the post. The artist went on to paint Hari’s face, modeling it after the sketch of Kali.

Subsequently, Hari was asked if she was interested in doing a photoshoot.

It was the first of many. She’s walked at the LA Fashion Week countless times for several designers, and earned an associate producer credit on Sheer Qorma, starring Shabana Azmi. It was due to be released this year before COVID hit.

Hari’s been everywhere of late, following the recent surge in anti-colorism that has followed the Black Lives Matter movement and its discussions around race and color. She has been on Vox, talking about beauty companies pulling their fairness creams from shelves decades too late; campaigning for Dark is Beautiful, an initiative that fights colorism; modeling clothes for No Borders; and been on a virtual panel for the first South Asian Heritage Month in the United Kingdom.

All this while still working her day job (from her LA home) at Snapchat, and caring for two young rescue kittens, Idli and Dosa – a nod to her Malayali heritage.

Hari’s future plans are all about realizing her full potential, and exploring the depths of her creativity.

For now, she says, “I realized if I want to see some things in the world, I should probably create them myself.

Because no one else is creating [them] – it’s probably my duty to do that.” d OCTOBER 2020 | SEEMA.COM | 13

PIONEERS | SEEMA

W

hat I like about Chef Romy Gill is her neversay-die spirit.

A Member of the Order of the British Empire, this award-winning chef of Indian origin, made her cookbook debut in 2019 with Zaika: Vegan Recipes from India, despite it being rejected by 15 publishers. She sold her jewelry and exhausted her savings to partially fund her first restaurant, Romy’s Kitchen (opened in 2013), a popular culinary establishment that took Gill almost seven years to launch.

However, it cemented her spot as the first Indian woman chef to own a restaurant in the U.K. Over the years, Gill has become a force to be reckoned with, despite being a South Asian woman from

The Irrepressible

Romy Gill

RADHIKA IYENGAR

14 | SEEMA.COM | OCTOBER 2020

PIONEERS | SEEMA a small Indian town with no prior experience in the white, maledominated hospitality industry.

Across continents, connected by a phone line, Gill opened up about her pivotal life experiences – including overcoming the trauma of an abusive first marriage and losing her mother to cancer – that have helped make her the culinary giant she is today.

diagnosed with cancer. That was really the turning point for me. It made me realize that I wanted to become a chef. Coming back to your question, I think my fondest memory is going to my friends’ homes when I was probably nine- or ten-years-old, eating their food and then returning home to pester my mum by asking her all cooking-related questions.

“EVERY RECIPE NEEDS TO TELL A STORY, BECAUSE ALL OF US HAVE DIFFERENT STORIES TO TELL.”

Was there a special dish she prepared that inculcated your love for cooking?

I think it’s always going to be her parathas. My mother could make a hundred parathas using different techniques. She was fantastic in that way. Whether it was sattu ka paratha or aloo ka paratha – she created magic. Also, in our culture, we don’t really measure ingredients.

Here, in the UK, if you are a chef, you have to weigh everything. I think our technique of cooking is so different. So, I will always remember my mom through her parathas and the way she cooked.

What is your fondest memory of cooking in your childhood home?

My father worked at a steel plant in Burnpur, West Bengal, where people came from all over India to work. So we lived in a multicultural community with a diverse range of cuisines. When I was young, I used to visit my friends’ houses and eat their home-cooked meals. When I’d return home, I’d ask my mother, “Why does your daal taste different from others?” I realized that people from Kerala, Kashmir, Rajasthan or Gujarat cooked differently – their cooking techniques were different, but the spices they used were more or less the same. That’s when I realized that I wanted to learn more about food. I began asking my mum when she was cooking in the kitchen, “Why are you putting this in the dish and not that?”

When I was giving my 12th standard exams, my mum was

You mentioned that all the dishes in your debut cookbook, Zaika: Vegan Recipes from India, are connected to family. To what degree did your mother inspire your cookbook?

Zaika turned out to be a homage to my mum when she passed away (Gill initially had plans to go in another direction with her cookbook). When I spoke to my publishers, I asked them if I could write about the dishes my mum would cook for us. For instance, Sundays were important days as a family, because that’s when my dad had the day off. We would all sit together and watch blackand-white television. My neighbors, who did not have television, would come over and we’d watch cartoons.

Or, when we traveled by train, my mum would pack food for the family. There would be things like bharre karele (stuffed bitter gourd)

or parathas prepared by her, which kept us satisfied during travel.

Those train journeys have been deeply memorable. So, for me, a cookbook is not just a recipe book.

It has to have meaning to it. Zaika OCTOBER 2020 | SEEMA.COM | 15

PIONEERS | SEEMA is like a memoir.

Two days after attending my mum’s funeral in India, I had to return to the UK to do the photo shoot for the book. My publishers had been unable to change the dates of the scheduled shoot, since we had already rescheduled it a couple of times before. When I began cooking, I think the photographer was able to capture what I was feeling. My emotions reflected in the way I cooked. People grieve differently; they have different ways of coping. This was my way. All of that shows in the book. That’s why I think the book has done really well, because people really connected to it. I think they could understand what I was trying to convey.

I’m writing my next book, which will not come out till 2022.

However, I don’t want another book on the shelf which is only a recipe book. The book has to be about establishing a connection. Every recipe needs to tell a story, because all of us have different stories to tell.

What prompted your shift to the U.K. in 1993 and what experiences led you to take on the ambitious, yet daunting task of opening a restaurant?

I don’t talk about this often, but when I was young, I really wanted to study in the U.K. My parents thought it might be best if I was married to someone who lived in the U.K. I was 21-years-old and naive at the time, and Burnpur was a very small town. So, a proposal came and we took it. I think it was a naivete on my parents’ side as well, because they didn’t think there was a need to do a background check.

However, after getting married, when I came to the U.K., it was a completely different scenario. My former husband’s family did not want me to go to a university, nor were they very nice people.

16 | SEEMA.COM | OCTOBER 2020

“THE BANKS WERE NOT GIVING ME A LOAN. ONE, I WAS A WOMAN. TWO, I WAS A BROWN WOMAN. THREE, I HAD NEVER OPENED A RESTAURANT BEFORE. SO, ALL THESE THINGS PUT ME IN A CERTAIN CATEGORY. ”

I think the turning point in my life came when my ex-husband brought me back to India, took away my Indian passport and left me there. I was 22 at the time. I told my parents, “Look, you have given me the best education in my life.

You’ve given me everything, but you have to send me back to the UK.” So, we filed a police report, wrote to the British Embassy and got another passport. It wasn’t easy; I suddenly grew up. Later, I fought for my divorce in the UK, and eventually went to a university to study. That’s where I met my current husband who is absolutely a wonderful man.

I think the experience with my former husband made me so strong that it eventually led me to open my restaurant. In life, there will be a turning point where something will happen to you, which will make you so strong that you will be able to do anything after that. I didn’t have a godfather or a godmother in the hospitality industry. I did what I did on my own. I always tell my daughters, one traumatic experience in your life cannot make or break you. You cannot let it define you.

I didn’t talk about this earlier, because I didn’t want people to feel sorry for me. I wanted them to talk about my cooking, not about my past. But now I’ve started talking about it to motivate other women and help them in some way.

You also sold jewelry to fund your restaurant?

Yes. Diamonds and other jewelry are things your parents gift you.

I rang mine and told them that I didn’t want money from them or anyone else. I just wanted to start my restaurant. It was no one else’s decision, except my husband’s and mine. My daughters were also very young at the time. So, I sold

PIONEERS | SEEMA my jewelry. Moreover, the banks were not giving me a loan. One, I was a woman. Two, I was a brown woman. Three, I had never opened a restaurant before. So, all these things put me in a certain category.

But when I came on BBC News, then NatWest Bank gave me the loan I needed and it was brilliant to have their support. However, it hasn’t been easy for me. Nothing has come easy in life.

What advice do you have for young South Asian women aspiring to be entrepreneurs?

I’ve learned from my parents that giving is very important. When the pandemic struck, I realized that everything on my calendar was canceled. So, I started cooking for the NHS [National Health Service] staff. Then, a friend of mine suggested that I should help raise money and I thought it was a great idea. So, I was cooking Tuesdays and

“DO NOT WAIT FOR OPPORTUNITIES. MAKE YOUR OWN.” Fridays for 10 weeks straight and I was raising money for the NHS. In addition, if you go to my Instagram page, [you will see that] I used to post one recipe each day. I published 80 recipes on Instagram for free.

What I am trying to say is, do not wait for opportunities. Make your own. Of course, there will be people who will say, “No, no, no!” However, eventually somebody will say, ‘Yes’.

My motto is, write to people. You never know who might be in the right frame of mind to say yes to you. Youngsters should never be scared to follow what they want to

do and they should never be afraid to ask for help. I’ve always told my daughters that you have to fight for your corners. You might be lucky or it might take years for you to get recognized, but make your own opportunities.

Also, never forget the people who’ve actually helped you. You really need to acknowledge those people. However, the hard work is your own. It is important that if you believe in something and [make sure] you are good at it. Then you have to work for it. You cannot expect other people to do it for you. d

Cooking with Savoy cabbage and spaghetti squash 170g spaghetti squash 30g white onion diced small 8g garlic chopped small 1 small green chilli chopped 1 tsp fresh coriander 1 /2 salt 1 /2 tsp ground cumin 1 /2 tsp ground coriander Savoy cabbage leafs half abs take the middle bit of the leaf out

Repeat all and steam for 5-6 minutes.

Method Boil spaghetti squash peeled, boiled for 5 minutes. Drain water immediately In a bowl add all the ingredients and mash with fingers.

Take the seeds out and fill with the filling and cook for 15-18 minutes on 200 C fan oven.

Add heaped 1 tsp of mash in the middle of the Savoy cabbage leaf & roll .

romygill

Other half of the spaghetti make a whole take the seeds out fill with 1 clove of garlic diced small, 15g onion diced small, 1 small chilli chopped, 1 tsp or Savoy cabbages leaves , pinch of cumin and coriander powder, salt to taste and 4tsp of grated Parmigiano-Reggiano.

Enjoy cooking.

romygill

Cooking with Savoy cabbage and spaghetti squash

OCTOBER 2020 | SEEMA.COM | 17

MENTAL HEALTH | SEEMA

COVID’s Triple Burden on Women Many South Asian American women are either immigrants or children of immigrants, which adds an extra layer of complexity to their mental health RADHIKA IYENGAR

S

ince the COVID-19 pandemic swept across the globe, it has upended countless lives. As of writing this article, there have been over 26 million reported cases and more than 860,000 deaths worldwide. The scale of collateral damage has been enormous; in some cases, irreversible. The alarming rise in mental health-related illnesses is a 18 | SEEMA.COM | OCTOBER 2020

major crisis that has emerged in the wake of the pandemic.

Physical distancing and “stay at home” orders, for example, have birthed or heightened feelings of isolation, anxiety, hopelessness and claustrophobia, in a persistently alienating environment.

According to a survey conducted by Kaiser Family Foundation

(a non-profit organisation which focuses on health issues in the United States), about 56 percent of the respondents felt the pandemic negatively impacted their mental health. More significantly, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) released data through national sampling conducted in June, that due to the pandemic, racial/ethnic

MENTAL HEALTH | SEEMA minorities have been among those who “experienced disproportionately worse mental health outcomes” resulting in higher rates of substance abuse and suicidal thoughts.

The rise in the number of clinical mental illnesses is worrying, since many of these cases could persist for years, long after the pandemic wanes.

While there is a wide spectrum of mental health disorders that have been well-documented, this article narrows its focus on depression, anxiety, trauma and stress-related disorders, which have escalated during the coronavirus outbreak.

Universally, “women are about twice as likely as men to develop depression during their lifetime,” an article published in The Lancet Psychiatry informs. Another paper in The Lancet Psychiatry identifies an array of potential causes for a higher prevalence of mood or anxiety disorders among women, which include (but are not limited to): sex hormones, poor self-esteem, intimate partner abuse and trauma,

“IN SOUTH ASIAN CULTURES, WOMEN HAVE TO DEFTLY NAVIGATE THROUGH THE IMPOSING CORRIDORS OF WORK AND HOME LIFE.” childhood sexual abuse and gender-based discrimination.

South Asian women in particular, face another layer of gendered burden. “[Our] culture is very patriarchal, which places an increased burden and expectation on its women as compared to its men,” says Anvita Jain, who belongs to the core team of MannMukti, a not-for-profit organisation in Austin, Texas that focuses on addressing and eradicating the stigma surrounding mental health in South Asian communities. As the VP of Partnerships, Jain, who has been clinically diagnosed with Generalized

Anxiety Disorder (GAD), admits that the pandemic has brought about a rise in “toxic stress levels” in her life.1 “In addition, many South Asian American women are either immigrants or children of immigrants, which adds an extra layer of complexity to their mental health,” she continues. “They are caught between individualistic American culture and collectivist South Asian culture without ever feeling like they belong completely to either.”

In South Asian cultures, women have to deftly navigate through the imposing corridors of work and home life. While they work hard in professional spheres (paid work), they remain moored to domestic responsibilities. Women are expected to supervise the running of their households, look after the children, and/or function as caregivers to ageing in-laws or parents (unpaid work).

When several countries were driven to enforce compulsory lockdowns, and adopted strict curfew

1 Symptoms for GAD include restlessness, constant anxiety and difficulties concentrating. This anxiety disorder, however, can be treated through professional counseling and medication.

OCTOBER 2020 | SEEMA.COM | 19

MENTAL HEALTH | SEEMA measures, a ‘triple-burden’ effect on women belonging to the South Asian diaspora, was created. The pandemic brought an additional burden: an increased workload, since all family members were now staying at home.

Even if one could afford it, there was no option to hire help. Women were spreading themselves too thin.

For example, while schools remained shuttered, children were expected to attend e-learning classes organised by their educational institutes. A majority of the time, especially for the younger children, mothers had to sit in during the classes.

“Due to school being remote-learning, South Asian women – on top of other cultural stressors based on gender roles and expectations – have had to take on a role of providing home-schooling to children. Not having adequate support has increased rates of depression and anxiety,” says Neha Darji, M.S., LPC – a licensed professional counsellor in New Jersey, who is the Founder/CEO of We Rise Therapy and Wellness LLC. The centre provides mental health counselling services to marginalised

20 | SEEMA.COM | OCTOBER 2020

communities, with a specific focus on women.

Further, women belonging to the South Asian diaspora are culturally tutored to carry with them a deep sense of resilience. Not only are they expected to live up to the model minority stereotype, they often feel responsible for efficiently running of their homes. For Darji, who is currently pregnant, the triple-burden is more pronounced. “Personally, I’ve had difficulty with accepting help when it comes to household chores, while being pregnant and managing a full-time private practice,” she admits.

“Due to cultural expectations, I’ve felt

DUE TO CULTURAL EXPECTATIONS, I FELT THE NEED TO ‘DO IT ALL’

the need to ‘do it all’, while still not accepting that being pregnant I have had to slow down. This has led to mental health challenges from time to time.”

Clinical psychologist Sreeja De, who has been working in the field for the last decade in India, observes that South Asian cultures glamourize certain aspects of designated gender roles. “We glamourize pain tolerance for men. For example, they are not expected to be emotionally sensitive.

For women, it is their ‘dutiful nature’ towards their domestic responsibilities that is celebrated. Everything gets associated with the maternal instinct, where they are expected to take care of everyone else and their own needs become secondary.”

During the pandemic, due to an overload on medical infrastructure, women have also borne the brunt of receiving poor reproductive healthcare attention. In South Asian countries like India, for example, a surge in unplanned pregnancies and inadequate medical support for safe abortions have put a strain on women’s physical, as well as mental health.

And while there has been a global uptick in the number of domestic violence cases reported, the number of intimate partner abuse complaints have doubled in India.

For women who might possibly be afflicted with depression, anxiety or trauma-related disorders due to aforementioned circumstances, the situation worsens when there isn’t sufficient clinical infrastructure for support. For instance, in India, not only are the number of mental health professionals abysmally low, the country is lacking in adequate resources, as well as compassion.

In South Asian cultures, mental illness is considered taboo. Founder/ President of SAMHIN (South Asian Mental Health Initiative & Network), Dr. Vasudev N. Makhija, M.D., places the onus on poor mental health literacy and a wide treatment gap.

MENTAL HEALTH | SEEMA

“Mental illness is often thought of as a result of one’s inability to accomplish or do things right. It is often seen as a personal or moral failure. In a society that highly values success and prosperity, such a failure is not acceptable.” He also highlights a gamut of misconceptions associated with mental illnesses. “Some may attribute [it] to possession by spirits, others may consider the mental ‘suffering’ as a result of lack of faith and adherence to religion…It is also seen as a ‘stain’, a dhabbā. There is tremendous shame associated with being stained and somehow ‘defective’,” he adds.

The stigma and uncertainty faced by a person suffering from a mental health issue, can contribute to a gripping sense of hopelessness. In such a scenario, families and friends who are concerned about anyone who is afflicted, or may be showing signs of underlying mental illness, should offer as much support as possible. Journalist and editor, Awanthi Vardaraj

“MENTAL ILLNESS IS OFTEN [WRONGLY] THOUGHT OF AS A RESULT OF ONE’S INABILITY TO ACCOMPLISH OR DO THINGS RIGHT” who actively writes on mental health, and was diagnosed with clinical depression at the age of 14, advises families to “fully embrace” their loved ones. “They may be sick and they may be suffering, but they are still the same person you know and love,” she says. “Educate yourself about what they are going through and offer both emotional and practical support to the best of your ability… [H]old out

a light so that they can emerge from the darkness.” d If you or someone you know is in distress, please reach out to them with empathy and kindness. Below are a few emergency services, helplines and mental health NGOs: In the United States, visit CDC’s web pages on stress coping strategies and its designated helplines. South Asian communities living in the United States are welcome to reach out to the NGOs mentioned in the article.

In India, call NIMHANS’ (National Institute of Mental Health and Neurosciences) 24x7 toll-free number: 080-4611 0007; or dial 022-2552 1111 (Monday-Saturday, 8am to 10pm) to reach iCALL, a mental health helpline established by TISS (Tata Institute of Social Sciences); Aasra provides a suicide prevention helpline directory.

OCTOBER 2020 | SEEMA.COM | 21

MENTAL HEALTH | SEEMA

The Long Arm of a Taboo Many in the diaspora continue to see mental illness as a matter of shame RADHIKA IYENGAR

S

umita Dutta Shoam, 47, a single mother of two, was trapped in a nerve-wracking 19-year-long marriage. Today, a published author and a graphic designer, Shoam remembers when her husband left her brutally battered, her injuries including a punctured eardrum.

When she visited her doctor for treatment later, Shoam says she made up a story to explain the wounds.

“The doctor listened to me, but categorically stated in the report that the punctured eardrum was due to a blow to the head. That report became

22 | SEEMA.COM | OCTOBER 2020

my support when I applied for a divorce,” she says. “My ex-husband’s temper had gone haywire after his angioplasty. Some of the things he said and did made me suspect that he needed mental health care, but he just wouldn’t consider going to a mental health professional.”

Perhaps if Shoam’s husband had sought professional therapy, her domestic abuse and trauma could have been avoided.

South Asia has a complicated relationship with mental health.

There is severe stigma associated with mental illness, where those afflicted

“THERE IS SEVERE STIGMA ASSOCIATED WITH MENTAL ILLNESS...”

MENTAL HEALTH | SEEMA often carry feelings of shame, guilt, fear and denial. Although serious conversations around mental health have finally begun inching their way into mainstream media, they rarely make headlines unless they involve a celebrity. The untimely death of actor Sushant Singh Rajput, for instance, left countless Indians gobsmacked.

However, the widespread stigma concerning mental illness is deeply entrenched in our collective consciousness. It is so profoundly paralyzing that it often deters people from seeking medical care or professional counseling.

In 2018, The Live Love Laugh Foundation (a non-profit organization for mental health founded by Bollywood actress Deepika Padukone), conducted a survey of over 3,000 participants, aged between 18-45 years, from varied socioeconomic backgrounds.

The survey’s findings were mortifying but not surprising: About 62 percent of the participants “used derogatory terms like retard (47%) or crazy/mad/stupid (40%) or careless/irresponsible (38%) to describe people with mental illness,” while 40 percent admitted to feeling threatened by the presence of a mentally ill person in their neighborhood.

This crippling fear of being judged, misunderstood or bullied, functions as a psychological bulwark, dissuading people from openly discussing their mental health situation, even with their close ones. Denial of the illness, however, only hinders early diagnosis, when it can be most efficiently treated or healed.

The Power of Myth

The presence of countless superstitions further strengthens biased perceptions about mental illness.

“Culturally, many South Asians believe that our relationships, health and wealth are affected by the actions and sins we (and others close to us), did in a past life incarnation,” says Dr. Nidhi Khosla, an associate

Dr. Nidhi Khosla: “In South Asian communities, mental illness could be considered a result of one’s sins …Possibly, the shame surrounding those sins prevents people from addressing mental illness.”

professor at California State University, whose research focuses on immigrant health in South Asian communities. “Thus, mental illness could be considered a result of one’s sins…Possibly, the shame surrounding those sins prevents people from addressing mental illness.”

There is also oft-narrated myth that those with emotional malaise are cerebrally weak, and therefore, ‘defective.’ Another belief is that they are possessed or haunted by malignant spirits. Such misconceptions lead to feelings of confusion, loneliness and hopelessness among those afflicted.

One of the most common, but serious, global mental health illnesses is depression, impacting approximately 264 million people.

An article published in The Lancet narrows the lens further: Women are twice as more likely to experience depression than men. The National Mental Health Survey of India (201516) found that while mental morbidity was observed to be higher among males, “specific mental disorders like mood disorders (depression, neurotic disorders, phobic anxiety disorders were higher in females… Neurosis and stress related disorders affected 3.5% of the population and was

reported to be higher among females (nearly twice as much as males).”

Sometimes, due to lack of awareness, families find it difficult to understand what the afflicted person is going through. If the individual is of a marriageable age, it is reasoned that he or she would feel better once married.

“If it’s a man, parents believe that once the bahu (daughter-in-law) comes in his life, he will feel better.

They truly believe that once married, he will learn to become responsible,” explains Dr. Vasudev N. Makhija (above), the founder of SAMHIN , a non-profit organization dedicated to addressing mental health needs of South Asians in the United States.

A practicing psychiatrist, he is also a Distinguished Life Fellow of the American Psychiatric Association.

For women, the situation is far murkier. There have been reported incidents in which parents have tried to get their daughter married while hiding her history of mental illness.

When the spouse eventually finds out, he may abandon the woman.

Often due to the stigma, lack of awareness, paucity of resources, or sheer apathy, women also face homelessness after being abandoned by immediate family members.

OCTOBER 2020 | SEEMA.COM | 23

MENTAL HEALTH | SEEMA This leaves them helpless, hopeless and struggling low self-esteem.

In 2018, The Lancet Public Health reported that the highest percentage of global female suicide deaths, one-third of the total, were reported in India.

The Cultural Factor

Stigma surrounding mental illness, however, is not geographically bound to the country of origin. It deeply impacts the diaspora as well.

“South Asians are the fastest-growing immigrant group in the U.S.,” says Dr. Khosla.

However, while many South Asians willingly embrace and adopt Western culture – from its high-tech smartphones to its fast-paced lifestyle – they consciously steer away from Western psychotherapy and its approach to treating depression and anxiety.

According to WHO , about 800,000 people take their lives every year, one person every 40 seconds. Depression is said to be one of the major contributors to suicides.

South Asian culture continues to be patriarchal, which places huge expectations on women. While men have their own sociocultural pressures to deal with, depression in 24 | SEEMA.COM | OCTOBER 2020

South Asian women may be triggered or intensified by traumatic experiences and stress-inducing environments.

This includes being forced to marry against one’s will, domestic abuse, caretaking of the elderly, the pressure of providing a male heir, and miscarriages, to name a few.

“South Asian women are particularly vulnerable to childhood sexual abuse, intimate partner violence, and/or familial violence. A history of physical and sexual abuse is unfortunately, an important risk factor in suicidal behavior,” said Dr. Husseini Manji, the head of neuroscience of Johnson and Johnson’s Global Therapeutic Area. He is also the former director of The Mood and Anxiety Disorders Program at the National Institute of Mental Health.

“Given the various factors articulated above with respect to gender and depression, it seems like many women, unfortunately, see suicide as the only way to end the mental anguish,” he said.

Research also shows that the immigration experience can contribute to depression.

For one, the experience of packing one’s entire life, leaving home and moving to an unfamiliar country can be disorienting. Then, there is the long-drawn process of adjusting to a new sociocultural landscape, finding employment, applying for health care, language fluency and experiencing racial discrimination/lower community position. In addition, for them, as well as for second-generation South Asian Americans, there is tremendous pressure to live up to the model minority stereotype.

Among South Asian youth, the pressure to achieve unimaginable academic heights also affects them gravely.

In a study conducted by Dr. Khosla with her colleague Dr. Karla Washington, further showed that South

“SOUTH ASIAN WOMEN ARE PARTICULARLY VULNERABLE TO CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE, INTIMATE PARTNER VIOLENCE” Asians living in the United States “were more reluctant than other ethnicities to report pain.”

Dr. Manji tries to explain it: “In South Asian culture, it is common for patients not to report their pain to avoid burdening others or being seen as weak. Also, South Asian Americans are hesitant to seek mental health care because of a perceived inability of Western health care professionals to understand their cultural views.”

The Promise of Tomorrow

There is, however, a glimmer of hope.

Although South Asians continue to be skeptical, there has been a gradual elbowroom for healthy conversations.

Over the years, SAMHIN has been

MENTAL HEALTH | SEEMA

Mental Illness – Any Mental Illness (AMI) and Serious Mental Illness (SMI) Mental illnesses are common in the United States. Nearly one in five U.S. adults live with a mental illness (46.6 million in 2017). Mental illnesses include many different conditions that vary in degree of severity, ranging from mild to moderate to severe. Two broad categories can be used to describe these conditions: Any Mental Illness (AMI) and Serious Mental Illness (SMI). AMI encompasses all recognized mental illnesses. SMI is a smaller and more severe subset of AMI. Additional information on mental illnesses can be found on the NIMH Health Topics Pages.

Past Year Prevalence of Serious Mental Illness Among U.S. Adults (2017)

Past Year Prevalence of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder Among U.S Adults (2001-2003)

Data Courtesy of SAMHSA

9 8

8.1

7.5

2

Data from National Comorbidity Survey Replication (NCS-R) 1.8

7 5.7

5

5.6

5.2

4.8

4.5

4

3.3

2.7

3

3.2

1.5

5.1

Percent

Percent

6

3.5 2.4

2

1.1

1

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1 0

1.4

1.2

Overall

Female

Sex

Male

18-25

26-49

50+

þÿ H i s p a nWhite i&

Age

Black

Asian

0.5

NH/OPI** AI/AN*** 2 or More

Race/Ethnicity

0

Overall

Male

Female

18-29

30-44

Sex *All other groups are non-Hispanic or Latino | **NH/OPI = Native Hawaiian / Other Pacific Islander ***AI/AN = American Indian / Alaskan Native

Mental Health Services — AMI

Data on mental health services received within the past year by U.S. adults aged 18 or older with any mental illness (AMI). NSDUH defines mental health services as having received inpatient treatment/counseling or outpatient treatment/ counseling, or having used prescription medication for problems with emotions, nerves, or mental health. In 2017, among the 46.6 million adults with AMI, 19.8 million (42.6%) received mental health services in the past year.

45-59

60+

Age

Mental Health Services — SMI

Data on mental health services received within the past year by U.S. adults 18 or older with serious mental illness (SMI). The NSDUH defines mental health services as having received inpatient treatment/counseling or outpatient treatment/counseling or having used prescription medication for problems with emotions, nerves, or mental health. In 2017, among the 11.2 million adults with SMI, 7.5 million (66.7%) received mental health treatment in the past year.

Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)

OCD is often a long-lasting disorder in which a person has uncontrollable, reoccurring thoughts (obsessions), and behaviors (compulsions) that he or she feels the urge to repeat over and over. Additional information about obsessive-compulsive disorder can be found on the NIMH Health Topics page on OCD. Past Year Severity of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder Among U.S. Adults (2001-2003) Data from National Comorbidity Survey Replication (NCS-R)

Mild 14.6%

Serious 50.6%

Moderate 34.8%

https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/obsessive-compulsive-disorder-ocd.shtml#part_155101 holding mental health screenings at health fairs across New Jersey.

“Initially, I used to observe that people would see our exhibit, posters and display on ‘mental health’ from

far and avoid coming to … talk to us,” says Dr. Makhija. “Gradually however, people, although still not fully comfortable, are less skeptical [about] coming to the table to have a conver-

sation with [our] clinicians…There is still skepticism, but more people are willing to speak with us. We still have a long way to go, though. It’s a slow and long process.” d OCTOBER 2020 | SEEMA.COM | 25

PIONEERS | SEEMA

“Just because someone is born with a silver spoon, or is a celebrity who appears to have everything, doesn’t mean they are not suffering inside”

Photography: Ash Gupta for 838 Media Group Producer: Alex Barakat Styling: Jesse J Makeup and hair: Netsuki Blackwelder First Assistant: Joel Wicecarver Fashion Film: Egor Djatlov Lighting: Nick Harris Post-Production: Daniel Ramirez #0# | SEEMA.COM | OCTOBER 2020

COVER STORY | SEEMA

Boys Don’t Cry? Sid Mallya discusses his struggles with fame, alcohol, and the aftermath of his father turning fugitive SEEMA KUMAR

T

here are many myths about mental health, but the one Sid Mallya wants to debunk is personal.

“Just because someone is born with a silver spoon, or is a celebrity who appears to have everything, doesn’t mean they are not suffering inside,” Mallya says. “We sadly make assumptions about people based on what we see on the outside….’your life is great, what do you have to be depressed about?’ but when you take away all the glitz and glamor, they are still human beings. Everybody struggles in their own way. We just don’t know what is going on inside.”

Mallya says he knows this feeling all too well. As the first-born son of Indian business tycoon Vijay Mallya and his first wife Sameera Tyabjee, Sid Mallya would appear to have everything one could

want: wealth, celebrity, love, looks, and fame. But within, Mallya was struggling, unable to explain the feelings of sadness and emptiness he regularly experienced.

It took a breakdown in 2016 - soon after his father fled India after facing fraud charges - for the younger Mallya to seek help from a psychiatrist who diagnosed him with clinical obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD).

Mallya says he was relieved to finally have a name to describe his inexplicable inner struggle.

“I didn’t realize at the time how OCD could manifest itself in so many different ways,” says Mallya, who was first treated with antidepressants and now has found more natural ways, such as meditation and therapy, to manage his condition.

Two years into his recovery, Mallya says he decided to help others by sharing his own journey as a way to raise awareness and normalize mental illness. In 2019, he

launched an educational series on Instagram, ConSIDer This, which has 623,000 followers. He says his life’s mission is to eliminate the deep-rooted stigma attached to mental health.

According to the WHO, half of all mental health conditions start by the age of 14, with depression being one of the leading causes of illness and disability among adolescents. However, most cases are undetected or untreated in large part due to the stigma and societal pressure.

Mallya says that for him, like many others, conditioning begins at a very early age when children are taught to bury their feelings, and male children are told “Boys don’t cry.” An only child of a Hindu father and a Muslim mother who divorced when he was six, Mallya grew up in a boarding school in a quiet town in the UK, splitting his holidays between two families, one in San Francisco, and another in Mumbai.

OCTOBER 2020 | SEEMA.COM | 27

COVER STORY | SEEMA “Luckily I got to travel as a result of it, but that also caused a lot of sort of instability growing up,” he says. “I didn’t quite realize the effects of that instability at the time. It manifested itself much later on in my life.”

Mallya didn’t excel in school but loved sports and enjoyed boarding school because, he says, it gave him the stability, structure, and a family life he craved but never had. When he graduated from school, Mallya went to Wellington College, finished his A levels and went on to study business management at Queen Mary University in London because “I was expected to go into the family business, which [in retrospect] was a complete waste of time.”

Mallya says he didn’t quite realize it then, but he was not cut out for business. Given a choice between the three verticals in the family business — United Spirits, which made alcohol; United Breweries, which made Kingfisher beer; or Kingfisher Airlines, a newly launched airline business — Sid Mallya finally chose United Spirits.

After cutting his teeth as a brand manager at Guinness in the UK, Mallya moved to India and was thrust headlong into the family business. At first, Mallya says, he loved it all - among other things running the Royal Challengers cricket team in Bangalore and attending Indian Premier League cricket matches, hanging out with movers and shakers of India and living a lifestyle of the rich and famous.

But Mallya says he underestimated the psychological impact of moving from the UK where he had lived a quiet life, to the hustle and bustle of celebrity-obsessed India, where he found himself in the public eye and under more scrutiny than he had ever been.

“Of course, I visited [India] three or four times a year, but to actually pack up shop and move from the UK to India is a huge cultural shift,” he says.

Mallya was even more unprepared for lack of personal space and privacy in Indian society, and unaccustomed to the culture of “judgment,” and the salacious 28 | SEEMA.COM | OCTOBER 2020

“I WAS NOT CUT OUT FOR BOLLYWOOD, THE WAY I SOUND, I’M VERY BRITISH. I DON’T SPEAK HINDI.” obsession with stars and high society.

“Obviously because of the surname and the family, I was suddenly in the public eye,” Mallya says. “All of that public attention mixed in with being somewhere where I didn’t really feel comfortable, and not having my friends around took a mental toll on me.”

After about a year and a half in the family business, Mallya eventually came clean to his dad.

“I said, I’m not happy doing this. I want to pursue a career in acting,” he says.

With Dad’s blessing, Mallya moved to Los Angeles to study acting. Two years later he got professionally trained at a performing arts, drama, and acting

school in the UK. Acting and performing arts helps him, says Mallya.

“You bury, bury, bury, bury, bury [your feelings]. And then when I went to drama school, which is all about opening up and acting out your emotions, for the first time I was being opened up completely,” he says. “A lot of what I had inside was coming to the surface and obviously I was being trained to be more in tune with everything.”

After he graduated, Mallya decided not to go back to India for a potential career in filmdom.

“I was not cut out for Bollywood,” he says. “The way I sound, I’m very British.

I don’t speak Hindi. And people want to see people they can relate to. I don’t think I would have given them that. So I don’t think I would have actually been very good at Bollywood.”

But deep inside, Mallya says, there was another reason for not pursuing opportunities in films.

“Looking back, there was probably a fair [part] of Bollywood and staying in India where I would have felt like I was [being] judged,” he says. “And I think that probably put me off it. I felt like, at least if I come to America, there’s no judgment.”

Mallya says he didn’t think he had the right sensibilities for Hollywood either and chose instead to do smaller films.

His debut film was at the Sundance film festival, a 2016 English-language sex comedy called Brahman Naman, directed by Qaushiq Mukherhee. In it, he played a Casanova - in stark contrast to the four main characters, who are nerds and who don’t know how to win girls.

The film was released on Netflix worldwide in July 2016.

Mallya has not lived in India since India since 2012 (eight years ago).

Though the son of a former liquor czar, Mallya says he gave up drinking alcohol two years ago after learning that alcohol exacerbates his anxiety.

In an interview with Seema, Mallya opened up about his struggles, particularly those with mental illness.

COVER STORY | SEEMA

IN MALLYA’S WORDS Favorite Movie: Gladiator, Miracle on 31st Street, Animal House and Stardust.

Favorite Actor: Tom Cruise (A Few Good Men).

Favorite Actress: Julia Louie Dreyfus (TV show called VEEP, also in Sienfeld).

Favorite Food: Japanese Favorite Passtime: To run, I’m a big runner. I like running outdoors.

Favorite Color: Orange, why? I just think it signifies playfulness, happiness. innocence.

Your motto: Make one person smile or one person confident that makes them feel good or special for even 20 seconds. You’ve made that person’s world a better place.

Your tattoo: It’s a play and a pause button next to each other, for me playfulness is important. Like kids filled with hope and fearlessness.

Actress you admire: Angelina Jolie has used her celebrity platform to shine a light on a lot of issues in the world.

Leader you admire: New Zealand’s Prime Minister Jacinda Arden. New Zealand is a relatively small country but the way she has dealt with COVID and led her country. I think we could learn a lot from her.

Leader from India: Mahatma Gandhi. A unanimous choice for changing the world.

To have dinner with (living person): Australian cricket captain Steve Smith, known for being the greatest test batsman. But he got banned for a year because Australia went through this whole scandal of ball tampering. He publicly broke down and now he’s a big mental health advocate.

To have dinner with (not alive): I’d love to meet the Buddha. His story before he became the Buddha. He was a military officer, a commander. So, I’d love to know how do you go from being in a field that is so destructive to a totally new way of thinking.

OCTOBER 2020 | SEEMA.COM | 29

COVER STORY | SEEMA

“I Felt Like, at Least if I Come to America, There’s No Judgment.”

EARLY CHILDHOOD Let’s start at the beginning. Tell us about your childhood.

I was born in Los Angeles. We moved to the UK when I was about nine months old and grew up in England in the countryside 45 minutes outside of London.

I’m an only child [of a Hindy father and a Muslim mother]. My parents split when I was about six or seven, and my dad remarried and had another family. I went to boarding school when I was 10, just one month before my 11th birthday and had to split the holidays between the two [families]. Luckily, I got to travel as a result of it, but I didn’t quite realize the effects of that instability at the time. It obviously manifested itself much later on in my life.

As a child what were your interests?

As an only child my best friend was my imagination. Growing up I’d always used to put on little plays. I liked entertaining.

I was a C grade student. I’m not sure the teachers knew how to get the best out of me. I was more interested in playing around, going outdoors, playing sports.

I finished school and went to Wellington College to do my A levels and my business management at Queen Mary University in London because I was expected to go into the family business.

[In retrospect] I think studying business was a complete waste of time. If I could go back, I would perhaps do something else. Even when I went to India…, when I was running a team in the IPL cricket league, I was at my happiest when I was 30 | SEEMA.COM | OCTOBER 2020

around people.… I didn’t realize then that I thrive when I’m in an environment where I can be expressive, open, and can connect with people. But put me behind a desk and it’s almost like putting a wild animal in a cage. I get very restless and don’t quite enjoy it.

Given that your parents were divorced and you were far away from them, it could’ve been difficult for you at boarding school. But you say actually had a good time?

I had the best time. I think boarding school … could go either way. Some will tell you it was the best time of their life. [Others] will tell you it was the worst time of their life…, that it actually traumatized them for life. I loved it.

I really, really enjoyed it. It taught me things for life that are just invaluable. In school, you’re on a schedule. You get your wake-up call at seven and everything’s on a schedule. You finish classes, sports and then you have supervised homework.

Then dinner and it’s bedtime. So you are on the go — from 7am to 9pm. It taught me great discipline.

You said boarding school taught you many lessons?

Independence. My first day at university, there were many 18 year old kids in the dorm room crying. It hit me that this is the first time a lot of these kids have never been away from home. In Indian families, people never leave home. They live with families for life. I’ve lived on my own and I don’t have any family with me in Los Angeles. And I’m okay with that.

So it definitely taught me independence.

While at university, you thought you were destined to follow in your father’s footsteps and take over the family business? Did you proceed in that direction?

I went to university [to study] business because it was expected. At the time, our family business was in three major areas.

We had United Spirits, [which sold] alcohol, United Breweries, which [makes] Kingfisher beer. And then the airline at that time, which had started, Kingfisher Airlines. So I was sort of given a choice.

It was like, which route do you want to go? And depending on which one you choose, go and work for another company in that field. So you get experience outside the family business. So … if I was going to go into the airline…, [I would] go to work for Airbus in Toulouse, if it was beer, it would have been with Heineken.

And if it was spirits, it would have been with Diageo in the UK. I chose the spirits route and spent a year working in the UK as an assistant brand manager at Guinness. It was a lot of fun. It taught me a lot.

Then I moved to India.

CULTURE SHOCK How was your move to India?

I moved to India and was thrown into the business. I was running Royal Challengers [the cricket team] in Bangalore, which I loved. But then I also had to get used to [India]. I fully underestimated the impact it was going to have psychologically on me from literally moving

COVER STORY | SEEMA countries. I mean, I had gone to India, of course. I visited three, four times a year, but to actually pack up shop and move from the UK to India is a huge cultural shift. Then of course, when I got to India, I found myself in the public eye and under more scrutiny than I’d ever been used to because I’d lived a pretty quiet life in the UK. How did you cope?

Because of the surname and the family, I was in the public eye. That mixed in with being somewhere I didn’t really feel comfortable and not having my friends [around] took a mental toll on me. I did it for about a year and a half. And eventually I said to my dad, I’m not happy doing this. I want to pursue a career in acting.

I have to give him a lot of credit. A lot of Indian parents would have said, get on with it, and refused [permission] because many Indian families tend to tell their kids what to do. And he said, You know what? If you don’t love what you’re doing, find what you do love, and do it.

Didn’t he try to talk you out of it? Did he express disappointment?

Fortunately no, and that [was a] blessing. I’m sure he was disappointed. I’m sure there was a part of him that really hurt, but to bite the bullet and not give me any trouble or talk me out of it.… I do have to give a lot of credit where it’s due, because I know that a lot of Indian parents in similar situations would not have gone along.

By then, had you already started acting or did you have to learn it?

No, I hadn’t actually done any [acting].

I’d been doing a lot of on-camera interviews in India but not acting. I came to the US to take acting classes. I was attending an acting studio, learning all the basics. Then, after about two years [I decided to] get professionally trained.

And that’s when I started going to the UK to learn professional acting.

And after you graduated, did you go back to India?

No. I came straight back to LA. I’ve not lived in India. I haven’t been into India since 2012 - eight years ago.

OCTOBER 2020 | SEEMA.COM | 31

COVER STORY | SEEMA You mentioned that you didn’t enjoy being in India. After acting school, did you try to go back there to try your hand at Bollywood?

I don’t even speak Hindi. So, Bollywood was never for me. I did my debut film out here at Sundance…. because I didn’t feel like I would have the right sensibilities for Hollywood either. They are so good at what they do in Bollywood and they hit a certain audience. I just don’t think I would have been able to do justice to what they do in that specific niche.

So where then did you feel at home?

It was a drama school. I was 28. And I had an end-of-term assessment. And my teacher, Ana, said to me “when you’re having fun and you’re free, you glow [and] when you’re being told what to do, you just shut off.” And I was like, it’s amazing that it’s taken someone to tell me this at 28. And none of my teachers growing up could have seen that. I think that’s where I finally found that freedom where I could just be me.

MENTAL HEALTH When did you realize you were struggling with mental health issues?

Around 2016. But now, if I look back,

I was probably struggling long before that. In fact, I have this new series, ConSIDer This Lite, I did the first episode in July. [It] talks about how you can actually be depressed without realizing it. And I think that was definitely my case. I was in drama school at the end of 2016.

And mid-2016... all the stuff around my dad, his legal troubles started to happen.

That was a very public trial.... There was no real escape from it. Obviously he is my dad. That affects you. [At the time] I was playing this role for my end-of-year performance as a heroin addict. So I took all the angst going on in my everyday life and used it in [the performance of ] this character.

You enjoyed playing the role?

It was great. But then of course the character finishes, the shoot finishes. But the real-life experience that you’ve used to fuel this character is still there. So then what do I do? Where’s my outlet now?

I started speaking to the counselor at drama school.

I finished drama school and I remember then I got this void in my life because [now] drama’s gone and I don’t have this distraction anymore. And this was probably about September, October, 2016. And I’d get up in the mornings and

I would just feel empty and low. I couldn’t understand why. I had just graduated from the world’s best drama school. I’m in London, I’ve got my friends, I’ve got my family here. Why do I feel like this?

And the not knowing makes you beat yourself up even more. And you go even further down into the rabbit hole.

THE BREAKTHROUGH What made you seek help?

I went to a friend’s [destination wedding] … in 2016. Bear in mind, I’m 28. I go to an Indian wedding, which is a three-day affair. [There is] great food, great alcohol.

It’s on the beach. My friends are there, and the whole ecosystem was set up for people to have fun the entire three days, but I just felt crushed inside and just didn’t want to be there. And then I [said], all right, something is quite clearly wrong. I remember I got back to England and I sat on my staircase and just broke down one day crying and crying and crying. At that point I was, like, all right, this isn’t normal. There’s something going on here. And that’s when I decided to seek help.

You mean professional help?

I went to a psychiatrist, who evaluated me with clinical [obsessive compulsive disorder]. And my first instinct was, thanks for that. I didn’t quite realize at the time how OCD could manifest itself in so many different ways. They put me on antidepressants, a very low dosage. I took them for about three, two months.

Then I had to come here for a wedding to LA in November. It was beautiful. It was in a place just outside Los Angeles, near Santa Barbara. And I remember just feeling a lot better without the pills. So then I thought, all right, maybe I’ll give these a break. You don’t want to be on pills for too long, but I think they did help me.

But then I found more natural ways.

And how has the road to recovery been?

I moved back to LA, and then since then, it’s been really serious meditation, working with my therapist. And it’s been something I’ve done for two-and-a-half, three years, but really it has been a journey. And then it really got me thinking

COVER STORY | SEEMA that I need to get my own house in order before worrying about others. Last year was really when it clicked. And I was, like, I can now use the work that I’ve been doing for myself the last three years to help others.

Yoga and meditation have been natural forms of therapy you mean?

Yes, and no one has an issue with that.

But going to a therapist [does]. People might laugh at me, but what is the difference going to a therapist or to a yoga instructor? Nothing. It’s for mental wellbeing. If you hear the word yoga and ask people, what are words that come to mind? They say, love. They say joy.

They say peace. They say mindfulness.

But when you ask someone, what are the first things that come to mind when you hear the words mental health? They say anxiety, depression, craziness. And that’s the problem.

Are you close to your dad? Did you tell him about this?

I don’t think I told him or anyone specifically at first. I was focused on taking care of myself and getting better.

I think he found out, but we don’t really talk about this sort of stuff. Again, because I think that generation does not understand it, and probably a part of me that felt like I don’t owe anyone any explanation.

What about your mom? Are you close to her? Do you see her?

Because I was in boarding school [I don’t] have the same relationship with parents that a lot of kids have. I am able to be in Los Angeles and live comfortably away from home and not worry about it… When I told [my mother] that I was taking her to a therapist, her first reaction was confusion. And it is no fault of hers, because she grew up in a generation where this wasn’t done. I didn’t tell her about my antidepressants until last year when I put up an Instagram post on World Mental Health Day. That was the first time she found out that I was taking it. I probably should have told her before putting that picture up. I just think that I needed the support of my parents to do what I needed to do to take care of my health.

DRAMATIC RELIEF What’s your ultimate goal? Do you plan to act in a major role or make movies?

This might sound like such a cliché, but I want to make the world a better place.

I could quit. I could move to India. I could move to Africa and donate my time to helping, live my life in service, or I could be in this industry and create content that can exponentially help more people who view it deal with their own mental health issues. So my ConSIDer This series is a platform to help make the world a better place and to help people.

My motto in life is make one person feel better. If you can make one person smile a day, it’s been a good day. I just take something very basic and share it with people. Like my mental health videos. The 10-minute videos of my initial series have been viewed a few million times. And that is something that I’ve shot on an iPhone and put out on my Instagram account. To know that you can have the reach to help people is a feeling like none other. And I think also through art, you can help so many people, you can inspire people.

You’re doing ConSIDer This Lite, which has been successful, but I am guessing there is a documentary or a feature length movie in you?

Yeah there actually is. I’ve ever been approached to do a documentary on my dad’s career. Something to look at.

I have three TV shows starting to be pitched. The Friends-like sitcom set in modern-day Bombay. Another is about an international Indian business family.

The third one... I’m sure we can speak about eventually.

three or four nights a week and I was claiming, it’s ok ‘cause I’m young and I like to party. The truth is… I hated being there at the party. I was drinking as an escape. Well, when you’re using it for an escape to sort of numb what you’re going through, then, you know, you’re not using it correctly…. I wasn’t, like, a big alcoholic but I tried to drink less.

So you just stopped?

I found out that whether I’d have one drink or 10, the next morning I’d wake up with morbid levels of anxiety. I didn’t realize that it was linked to my OCD. And it got to a point where I would wake up in the morning and I was, like, this just isn’t a way to live… This fear you have about the next day, this anxiety. I knew there were a lot of psychological issues going on and I told myself, you need to first figure [those] out before you start drinking again. That’s when I decided to quit two years ago. On the first anniversary [of that], I put up an Instagram post saying that it’s been one year since I stopped drinking because it gave me a lot of anxiety. Thousands of young people messaged me. Again, it comes down to something that I thought was doing to help me ended up helping thousands of people. d sidmallya

ESCAPE FROM ALCOHOL You’ve given up alcohol. That’s kind of ironic and how were you able to do that?

Yes, my grandfather is probably rolling in his grave…laughing….

But seriously, you don’t have to be an alcoholic for alcohol to have a negative effect on your life. That’s what I realized.

When I was in India, I was drinking

sidmallya

conSIDerThis LITE #8 SOME OF THE THINGS THAT HAVE HELPED ME

OCTOBER 2020 | SEEMA.COM | 33

FEATURES | SEEMA

The Viral Risk of a Return to School After more than eight months during which COVID-19 has cut a deadly swath through the U.S., South Asian parents are warily considering sending their children back to the classroom PRATIKA YASHASWI

A

fter the pandemic forced school gates to shut earlier this year, fall felt far away. Working parents were suddenly juggling remote work, chores, and home-schooling.

Starved of socialization and outdoor entertainment, children were going stir-crazy at home, staring all day into screens. Everybody knew this was bad, but only the experts guessed it would drag on for so long.

Many countries in Asia and Europe have reopened schools for in-person learning, but none have been as badly hit as the US. While everyone is aware the long break has interrupted education, the pandemic is far from over: The CDC reported that hospitalization rates in children, although low, are increasing. The UK recorded 121 COVID cases in schools in August, 30 of which were children.

After months of enduring the gruelling, isolating reality of the new normal, American parents are faced with an unenviable decision: Should their children go back to school?

Misha Vayner, a New York-based holistic health coach and mother of three, believes so.

“Obviously, we want the environment to be safe enough to send them back, but it’s really important for the social and emotional health of the

34 | SEEMA.COM | OCTOBER 2020

Rita Kakati-Shah and her children, Reia and Raahi, who have recovered from COVID and now are in back in school

child to be (back in school),” she said.

“Online learning. well… When you have kids aged two and four, they don’t want to sit up. That doesn’t do it for them. They want to play. They need the right atmosphere to learn.

It’s almost impossible as a working parent to homeschool their kids 24/7… It’s a full-time job!”

Vayner knows intimately what COVID can do to the body. Her mother, Aroon Shivdasani, fought a long and hard battle with COVID and pneumonia for over two months, and was nursed back to health by Sacha, Vayner’s elder sister. Although virus free now, Shivdasani is now dealing with its ugly after-effects,

including a mitral valve prolapse, lung congestion, fatigue, falling hair, memory loss, and more. Even so, she is confident it is time her grandkids, including Maya, Sacha’s 13-year old daughter, went back to school.

“Governor Cuomo has done an amazing job of curtailing the virus in New York State and at the moment, I believe we are the safest state in the country,” she says. “We are fortunate that most New Yorkers are sensible and cooperative. I am confident that if Cuomo has allowed schools to open, he has checked all the parameters before allowing this to happen.”

All three Vayner kids, aged seven, four two and a half, four, and seven, are back to school full time with no remote learning. Most of Vayner’s friends and social circle want to send their children back to school. “But whether they can or cannot depends on what their school district is doing,” she acknowledges. And in that area, the Vayners have lucked out.

“We live in a very small community where there’s literally one elementary school,” adds Vayner. “They are able to cater to each and everybody’s needs. And they have been incredible with setting up the environment, standards, procedures and protocols such that it’s very safe. They’ve set up outdoor pavilions and repurposed indoor spaces…They’ve created an in-

FEATURES | SEEMA

Misha Vayner, Aroon Shivdasani, Aroon’s late mother Dru

credible learning environment that’s maybe even better than before.”

Fellow New Yorker Rita Kakati -Shah, CEO of the Uma Group, had her whole family testing positive for the coronavirus in March. It hit her husband, herself and her two children Reia and Raahi, aged 5 and 7.

“The kids didn’t even notice,” she says. “The thing is with kids, the reason they’re so resilient to this is that they need to be getting sick all the time to build up their own immune systems. Right. If you stop kids from being exposed to germs, they’re going to get unhealthy.”

“It gives me confidence that my kids had the virus before,” says Kakati-Shah. “And they’re just craving that social interaction. They

Sasha with Dru, Rishi & Sloane

Misha Vayner, Jon Vayner, Aroon & grandkids Dru, Rishi, Sloane

really missed that. The bottom line is, for my husband and I from a space perspective, a health perspective, a sanity perspective, and from a family perspective, the best decision for us was to send them back to school.”

Like Vayner and Kakati-Shah, the South Asian community overall, is ready for their children to go back to school in some form or the other.

Some schools have provided the option of a hybrid model of attendance, where children go to school for only a few days a week, or a few hours a day.

Entrepreneur Anu Sehgal, who runs The Culture Tree, chose that option for her children Vikram and Nikhil, aged 8 and 11. For the days that they don’t have school, she

and her peers have made informal learning pods so the children don’t miss out on their social interaction. (Pods are where parents form a group and take turns supervising or homeschooling all the children at once.) “Most South Asians want to send their kids back to school,” says Sehgal, who works closely with the South Asian community. “The exception being if the main teacher is still remote.”

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) says that having kids back in school is best for their physical, mental, social, and emotional health.

It is also, as most parents would agree, how children learn best.

Currently, 0.3%-8.2% of all child COVID-19 cases have resulted in hospitalizations and 0%-0.2% of all child COVID-19 cases have ended in death. Compare that to the flu, which has seen record-high hospitalizations among young children this year.

As Kakati-Shah says, children are resilient, and not just physically. To spend precious months of childhood cooped up, and in front of a screen with limited playtime though, would be depressing. Learning with teachers and frolicking with friends is crucial to a child’s development. Perhaps that is worth the risk — even if they have to do it with a mask on. d OCTOBER 2020 | SEEMA.COM | 35

FEATURES | SEEMA

Covid Diaries

The physical, emotional and psychological toll... coping with COVID, raw and real - Dr Deepthi Kagolanu shares her notes

I

am okay. I just want to let everyone know that it is okay to talk about it. These are some thoughts I had, emotions I felt and ignored, and questions I asked myself daily over the last few months.

Social media only covered hospitals in New York while we were trying to flatten the curve. What about after?

What about how health care workers after covid?

MARCH 11 Should I buy masks online? How many? Do I spend a fortune? Will I be protected enough? Will my husband be protected? Is covid really coming to New York? Will I get it?

Am I gonna survive this? Is it okay to be anxious about it? Is it okay to show that I am anxious about it? Is it okay to be scared? Should I share with my non doctor friends and family that I am scared? Will they be there for me or be scared to be around me?

MARCH 21 Is this real? Should I stay in a different place so I don’t give it to my husband? Can I afford another place? Am I over analyzing? Am I protecting myself enough? Will I get it? Will I give it to my husband?

Will I survive? Am I washing my hands enough? Should I not go home? Should I not share food and drinks at home? Should I not share a bathroom at home? Am I overthinking? Am I anxious for no reason? Am I strong enough for this? Why is this happening the one year I chose to practice medicine before fellowship? Feelings/ thoughts/questions I still have today after 3 months.

36 | SEEMA.COM | OCTOBER 2020

Dr. Alejandro Gutierrez (COVID team)

“SHOULD I STAY IN A DIFFERENT PLACE SO I DON’T GIVE IT TO MY HUSBAND? CAN I AFFORD ANOTHER PLACE? SHOULD I NOT SHARE FOOD AND DRINKS AT HOME? APRIL 3 Will I give it to other patients? Why am I so anxious? Why am I scared?

How can I take care of patients if I

am scared? Why am I sad and depressed for them? Why am I having photographic memories of patients suffering, bleeding, and dying unex-

FEATURES | SEEMA pectedly? Should I go back to being numb like I was? Am I being a good doctor? Am I strong enough? If I show weakness, anxiety, and fear as an attending, what will my trainees learn? Should I be seeing patients on my own so that the trainees don’t get covid? Do I show patients that I am scared for them? Do I tell patients that they won’t make it or give them false hope? What do we tell families? How can I fake my strength and hope?

APRIL 28 How long do I sleep in a separate room for? Do I eat in paper plates and cups? Should I not come back home till this is over? Why am I more exhausted than usual? Why am I hyperventilating in my mask?

Is my mask leaking? Why am I feeling dizzy all the time? Do I have covid or am I just tired? How do I tell? Do I just keep working till I get a fever? Should I take my mask off to even eat? Will I give it to my coworkers if I eat without a mask?

Why am I working so much slower than my usual?

MAY 25 Why does it feel like I ran a marathon and something ran over my body? Why am I in bed for so many hours day and night? Why am I so winded after showers? Why am I not able to feed myself? Will I give it to my husband if he takes care of me? Who will take care of him if he is sick? Who will take care of my friends who are sick with covid when I am their only doctor friend?

Will they be able to go to a hospital and be taken care of? Why can’t I find a thermometer to measure my fevers? Will I wake up tomorrow?

What if my chest tightness gets worse tomorrow? What if I don’t wake up tomorrow? Should I not call my parents and sister because they will find out that I am sick?

Isn’t it easier to just pretend that it

is not covid? Am I going to make it to work when I get better? Will I get better? How can I be so scared?

What if I wake up and cannot breathe? How can I be there for my friends suffering from covid while I am suffering as well? Will I ever see my parents again? How long do I isolate myself? Will this anxiety stay forever? Am I crazy for feeling this way? What am I feeling? Can I escape from this? How can I be so weak as a patient myself when I am supposed to be strong for my patients and my team? Am I going to be able to smell again? When will stop smelling burnt rubber? Will I be able to hear normally again?

JUNE 8 Will steroids work? Will hydroxychloroquine work? Will antibiotics work? Will lasix work? Will antibodies work? Will antivirals work?

Will this ever stop? When will it stop? Do we just try everything and pray for it to work? I never pray but should I start praying? Should I be ready for an infinite number of deaths to come? Can I be ready? Is it okay to break down? Is it okay for me to cry? Is it okay to cry in front of others? Am I depressed or anxious? How long can I fake strength for? Why am I still seeing flashes of patients suffering? How can I be happy for those that we saved? How can we be happy for the patients that walked out the hospital door with a smile?

I am glad that covid has slowed down now and we learned a lot in 2020 already. But some of these emotions may linger around for who knows how long. I am sure that many of my friends and colleagues have gone through all of these emotions. I am sure that many of you have gone through worse with a family member or friend that you have lost to covid. It is okay to talk about it and get help if needed. d

Dr. Deepthi Kagolanu in her PPE kit

With the COVID team

Deepthi Kagolanu, MD Deepthi is currently a gastroenterology fellow in Long Island, New York. She has trained in internal medicine and practiced for two years prior to starting her fellowship this year. She practiced as an Internal Medicine physician during the COVID-19 pandemic. She took care of many covid patients from March to May. She was born in Andhra Pradesh, India. Deepthi moved to the US at age 13 and has moved around a lot in the past 10 years. She completed her undergraduate degree at University of California, Irvine. She completed her medical school in the Caribbean and trained in Internal Medicine in Long Island.

OCTOBER 2020 | SEEMA.COM | 37

HEALTHY LIVING | SEEMA

7 Ways to Live Healthy

How to maintain a good lifestyle during a worldwide pandemic EDUARD BANULESCU

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ith the increasing number of restrictions, one may think that living a healthy lifestyle is some sort of a luxury, but you can’t be further from the truth. Living a healthy lifestyle is possible even when the entire world is fighting a pandemic. Here are seven ways to live a healthy and happy life during the Covid-19 pandemic.

Healthy eating important for a healthy lifestyle Food translates into energy. Our body needs that energy to carry out everyday tasks such as working, walking or communicating with our close friends. To make sure you get the most out of your days and use your energy to achieve your goals, eating fresh fruit and vegetables is a 38 | SEEMA.COM | OCTOBER 2020

must. A well-balanced diet ensures you maintain a fortified immune system which will help your body achieve its tasks and over come many of the threats associated with the recent pandemic.

Avoid or Reduce Toxic Foods and Substances

The quality of our food determines our moods, behaviour and energy that we put out into the worldProcessed foods and substances such as tobacco can increase the toxicity in your body and prevent you from being fresh and ready for new challenges. Try to avoid those as much as possible and replace them with fresh snacks, such as tasty fruit.

Most of the time, we tend to fall into the trap of consuming these toxic foods and substances because of poor habits. Replace them with a new activity or hobby and see your energy levels rise.

HEALTHY LIVING | SEEMA lifestyle. But, that doesn’t mean you have to completely abandon the idea if you’re confined at home if, for example, the world is fighting a pandemic (as it has been the case recently). Online streaming has become a huge thing, and you can find fitness classes such as pilates and complete body exercises available for free, no matter where you are.

Find a New Hobby

Take a Break From Technology

A healthy lifestyle needs a healthy mind. With innovative marketing campaigns and in-depth psychological profiles of our online accounts targeting us at any moment, we can’t say that our mind has any time to rest. The best thing you can do for your mind is to take a detox from technology from time to time. Try to make a point in not using your phone or any other device for a certain time in your day. Use that time to reconnect with nature, invest in your personal connections and to meditate.

Get Enough Sleep

Balancing work and time off is an essential thing needed to achieve a stress-free, healthy lifestyle. All work and no fun is a sure way to depression, stressful days and weak health. While group activities can be restricted, that doesn’t mean you can’t pick up a new hobby. The internet will be your guide whenever you decide to try painting, dancing or yoga for the first time.

Focus on the Bright Side of Things

There will always be reasons to be unhappy. But instead of focusing on the things you can’t change, try to think of all the wonderful things you have in your life that made you happy. Try to keep a list of all the things you’re grateful for and write new things down every day, when you get The body’s natural way of regenerating is through sleep.

That’s when the regenerative processes take place within our body. A good night’s rest is between seven to nine hours every night. Make sure you go to bed early, reduce screen time to up to one hour before getting to bed and you’ll be on your way to leading a healthier life.

Exercise More Exercising outside to get some fresh air through your bloodstream is the best thing you can do to improve your

up of bed. Living a healthy lifestyle starts with healthy and positive thoughts. This set of steps towards living a healthy lifestyle might be different for each one of us, but one thing is certain. We are what we consume, so make sure you feed your body and mind the right energy. d OCTOBER 2020 | SEEMA.COM | 39

HEALTHY LIVING | SEEMA

Get the Best Night’s Sleep of Your Life How to improve your sleep, deal with issues like getting to sleep or waking up prematurely and use herbs and meditation to improve your general health through getting a proper night’s sleep.

Learn about the sleep cycle and how understanding this can aid your sleep pattern.

JULIAN JACKSON

I

have suffered from insomnia and sleep apnea at times.

Fortunately both are cured now. For years I found it hard to sleep, woke up in the middle of the night, and felt groggy all day.

The sleep apnea and excessive snoring were eventually addressed by a series of operations, but the dramatic improvement in my well-being after

40 | SEEMA.COM | OCTOBER 2020

the medical procedures showed me that a lack of good sleep was a serious health concern.

So over the last decade, I have experimented with a variety of methods to get a good night’s sleep. Many of them involve herbs or vitamins, but I have tried meditation and exercise as well. Nothing beats a good eight hours of shut-eye, and I find problems

are much easier to deal with when I am refreshed.

Here’s a brief guide to sleep: It comes in around 90 minute cycles.

You go from light sleep to REM (dreaming) sleep, then the cycle restarts with light sleep again. Normally you get 4-6 of these events in an eight-hour bout of sleep. Your mileage may vary. Everybody is different and

HEALTHY LIVING | SEEMA require different amounts of sleep. If your norm is six or nine hours - that is right for you. Listen to what your body tells you.

Napping during the day is fine, but you should only rest for 10-20 minutes. Set an alarm clock or you will start going into the deeper sleep cycles and be very groggy when you wake up. Some people drink a coffee, then immediately nap. The coffee kicks in in about 15-30 minutes and gets you going again.

The room you sleep in should be dark and cool. The curtains must block out the light, or you can wear a sleep mask. There are some very comfortable ones on the market now.

Human beings are programmed to wake up at dawn, so even stray light actually disturbs the sleep rhythms I described above.

Stop watching TV or using screen devices an hour before bedtime. The blue light they produce suppresses melatonin release in your nervous system and makes going to sleep more difficult.

Exercising is very good for helping you sleep well - but during the day, not the evenings. A hard workout at 9 pm will leave you overstimulated and slow to wind down to rest. Some friends do yoga, which is less intensive and which can relax you in the evenings.

I like a drink but I find that alcohol also disturbs my rest. So I have cut down on that.

Meditation helps, particularly if you wake up in the middle of the night and can’t get to sleep. There is an app called Buddhify, which has a variety of soothing, audio-guided meditations. You need to use it with the screen under the pillow, or with the screen brightness turned right down, but I have found it helpful to tune out intrusive thoughts.

Herbs, Vitamins and Nutrients I Find Sleep Improving I have experimented with a wide

variety of “nutraceuticals.” I’m going to divide this into “sleep latency,” that is, getting off to sleep, waking up in the middle of the night and general sleep quality.

Sleep Latency The herb Valerian, either in tablets or tea, is soothing and helps you drift off. Melatonin, a major sleep-related hormone is really worth looking at – only use a very small dose like 1 mg (which might mean cutting up tablets. which usually have 3 mg) before bedtime.

Large doses make you feel groggy in the morning and give you vivid, sometimes unpleasant, dreams. Recently medical cannabis - Cannabinol - has become available in various forms, including as gummies!

This works to get you to sleep and also if you wake up in the middle of the night.

Waking up in the Middle of the Night Taking GABA (gamma-aminobutyric acid for the mavens) is a neurotransmitter that seems to help keep you asleep the whole night. Although studies suggest it does not cross the blood-brain barrier, it does affect your

nervous system, and so is effective.

It is usually found in superior health food stores or online.

Better Sleep Quality I take magnesium and vitamin B6, which improve the all-important REM sleep. I also recommend 5-HTP, which is the raw material for serotonin, the ‘calming’ neurotransmitter, in your brain. Between one and three 50 mg tablets seem to work. More than that and you will feel quite “up” and euphoric the next day. It has powerful positive effects. However, the body acclimatizes to it quickly so the effect wears off. In addition, it also can be quite expensive.

Waking Up Because I work from home, I have long given up on the alarm clock, and only use it if I have an appointment. Waking naturally is best, since your body decides when it has had enough sleep.

I must stress that everybody is different, but by mixing and picking between a few of these techniques, you could have elevated sleep quality, which will significantly improve your general health. d OCTOBER 2020 | SEEMA.COM | 41

FASHION | SEEMA

Designer Picks for Fall 2020 JORDANA WEISS

F

or many of us fortunate enough to buy new clothes in anticipation of the first day of school, fall has an indelible connection to shopping. It is when the light dresses, tanks and shorts of summer give way to more muted options. When an understated riot of colors - dun, tan, russet, amber, fuschia find their way onto those textured, classically fashioned outfits, inventive in tailoring, and resulting in those arresting silhouettes that mark the best of fall.

In addition, shopping for clothes is far more welcome, when those humid 90° days are behind you. That is also when layers of clothes deliver nuance, and when removable pieces - cardigans, jackets, scarves, hats, etc provide a fetching final touch to any outfit.

This year, your ardor for shopping may be dampened by the fear of coronvavirus, but that is no reason to

42 | SEEMA.COM | OCTOBER 2020

abstain completely. Many designers are still putting out amazing collections, and their work will inform the outfits that find their way into mainstream clothing outlets.

Here are some of our favorite South Asian designers, complete with the types of couture they are coming up this fall.

SGBG Atelier

Run by mother-and-son duo Surya and Bindu Giri, SGBG Atelier is inspired by Indian techniques to deliver clothing that also relies on the crisp lines and clean cuts of modern, contemporary tailoring. Right now, their clothes are dabbling with oversize silhouettes, cut from

FASHION | SEEMA vibrant, color-blocked prints. Their dhoti pants, jumpsuits, and hoodies use unique materials such as kora silk and silk crepe, hand-embroidered and pin-tucked to ensure singular elegance.

Mani Jassal

Mani Jassal is the eponymous eveningwear and bridal brand of the Indian Canadian luxury designer of the same name. Jassal’s designs may look traditional at first glance, but when closer scrutiny will reveal some unique cuts and contemporary flourishes that take each piece from eveningwear to art.

One hint of Jassal’s talent lies in the borders on her dupattas and saris. Although they primarily rely on traditional gold embroidery, the designs are deceptively simple and wonderfully baroque, with patterns revealing themselves only close up.

P.E.L.L.A.

For the minimalist who cannot do without a billowy jumpsuit or dress, P.E.L.L.A. is an excellent choice. This up-and-coming fashion brand is the brainchild of Priyanka Ella Lorean Lama (Pella), a young designer who plays with natural fabric to create gorgeously unexpected silhouettes. Many of her pieces intentionally incorporate imperfections, to remind us that norms are meant to be broken. Pella’s designs use natural materials as much as possible, and many of her outfits are made from a single sheet of fabric that is never cut, but has delicate hand-rolled hems to ensure a “boundary-less design.”

Rahemur Rahman

Rahemur Rahman is a British-Bangladeshi menswear designer who specializes in ethical and sustainable fashion. While he uses many silhouettes and shapes from traditional Indian and Pakistani menswear, the looks generated are unique, thanks to his use of bold color blocking and modern patterns.

His latest collection, “For people who dream in colour,” was inspired by old photos of his family in their apartment in London when they first migrated from Bangladesh. Rahman’s debut collection was presented at London Fashion Week in 2019, and celebrated traditional menswear with his trademark touch of bright colors and historic Bangladeshi methods.

Saloni

Another one of our favorite eponymous labels producing vibrant Indian-inspired designs is Saloni. Designer Saloni Lodha creates pieces inspired by ‘70s and ‘80s tailoring techniques and silhouettes, but with an original modern twist.

She has a few different dress silhouettes available for purchase now. These are a variety of silk prints that were inspired by summer holidays with family in Rajasthan. Her gorgeously bold prints also showcase playful, feminine flowers. Her autumn collection brims with tailored blouses, velvet blazer dresses, and long silk satin dresses in jewel tones such as citrine, navy, and ruby red. d OCTOBER 2020 | SEEMA.COM | 43

BEAUTY | SEEMA

Natural Beauty

Treat yourself this fall with our favorite Ayurvedic beauty products

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JORDANA WEISS

or skin that’s clean, toned, and radiant, many Indian American women turn to Ayurvedic beauty and skincare products. Although this holistic healing system has been an indelible part of the South Asian identity for centuries, in recent years it has become a much larger industry in the United States. While indulging in culturally significant beauty rituals is appealing to many women in the Indian diaspora, the reality is these products do work well, and can offer great results.

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Why Ayurveda?

Generally, Ayurvedic products are made with no preservatives, and make use of natural, unprocessed ingredients.

This is so much healthier for the body than using traditional beauty products that are loaded with parabens, formaldehyde, or sodium laurel sulfate. These chemicals have been linked to cancer-causing gene mutations, tumors, and hormone disruptions.

Many people consider Ayurveda the original lifestyle medicine, and in recent years, science has begun to validate the knowledge that many of our ancestors have held

BEAUTY | SEEMA for generations. The most important mindset change in Western medicine spurred by Ayurvedic principles is that many diseases begin in the gut.

Ayurvedic medicine and skincare seek to balance, not disrupt, the gut microbiome, and in doing so offer much more holistic health support than traditional beauty products.

Our Favorite Ayurvedic Beauty Products for Fall 2020 With so many people stressed, anxious, and worried about COVID-19, there’s no better time to focus on your physical wellbeing. Our favorite Ayurvedic beauty products can help facilitate a quiet moment for self-care, something that we all need these days.

Here are some of our must-haves for Fall 2020.

Pratima Skincare Liposomes Vitamin C Serum Founded by Ayurvedic doctor Pratima Raichur, Pratima Skincare is headquartered in New York City and offers skincare essentials along with indulgent treatments in their Soho spa. While they are still offering in-person skincare treatments, many of their fans have opted to shop online and care for their skin at home.

stimulate collagen production.

Arya Essentials Face Oil

argan oil. Just comb it into hair overnight to help promote growth, and minimize split ends and dandruff.

NAO Ayurveda Turmeric Ghee Eye Cream

Arya Essentials was founded by Shadoh Punnapuzha, who started whipping up products in her Brooklyn kitchen in 2014. Right now, she has a modest line of products, but the most well-known is the one that started it all – her face oil. Made with all-natural amla and tulsi, the oil can be smoothed on once a day to boost collagen and add much-needed antioxidants to the skin.

Mauli Rituals Grow Strong Hair Oil It isn’t just skin that should get regular attention – our hair needs love, too. Thankfully, the much-touted Grow Strong Hair Oil from luxury Ayurvedic skincare company Mauli Rituals helps to strengthen follicles and promote long, luxurious lengths.

Their hair oil, which is available from many popular retailers like Net-APorter, is made with moringa, bhringraj, Himalayan cedarwood, and

Founded by Kiera Nachman Kent, NAO Ayurveda is another smaller skincare company that’s seen a recent surge in popularity. All of their creams, oils, teas, and scrubs are infused with Reiki energy and ancient Vedic mantras, and are all made with natural, organic, and often wildcrafted ingredients. Their Turmeric Ghee Eye Cream is great if you have dark circles under your eyes, and want to offer your body some relief instead of simply covering them up. The cream is best used at night, so you wake up looking rested and refreshed.

Indulge in Self-Care Cultivating a regular skincare routine is a great opportunity to give yourself some time to rest, reflect, and unwind. If you’ve never tried Ayurvedic beauty products before, now is a great time to invest in skincare that makes you both look and feel amazing. d

The Liposomes Vitamin C Serum is one of their best selling products.

Mix a few drops with an essential carrier oil, and massage into the face and neck to promote cell renewal and OCTOBER 2020 | SEEMA.COM | 44

FOOD | SEEMA

South Asian Recipes Fit for Staying Home

Staying home can make getting a great meal difficult. Try out these simple, easy South Asian recipes made from ingredients you already have in your pantry

ADAM CARPENTER

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leisurely afternoon at the market or a last-minute run to the grocery store seems to be a thing of the past. Whether you call it quarantine, self-isolation, or social distancing, you stay home and do with what you find in the kitchen. Even if you

Thai Chicken Coconut Soup The mix of ginger, lime, and cilantro in this coconut soup gives it a deliciously smooth taste. The added fettuccine egg noodles make it more than just a side dish but a full meal to keep your family satisfied.

Serves: 4 Ingredients 1 1/2 tablespoons cooking oil 1 small onion, chopped 1/8 teaspoon cayenne (add more for a spicier soup) 1 1/2 teaspoons ground coriander 1/4 teaspoon fresh-ground black pepper 4 cloves garlic, minced 46 | SEEMA.COM | OCTOBER 2020

have a well-stocked pantry, this can be a difficult proposition. If you are ready to keep it simple but also mix things up a bit, here are a few great recipes that use staple South Asian ingredients that you can find in your house. You and your family can still eat well while staying safe at home.

1/2 teaspoon ground ginger 1-quart canned low-sodium chicken broth or homemade stock 5 teaspoons Asian fish sauce or soy sauce 2 cups canned unsweetened coconut milk 2 3-inch-long strips lime zest 1 3/4 teaspoons salt 1/2 pound egg fettuccine 1 pound boneless, skinless chicken breasts, cut into 14-inch slices 2 tablespoons lime juice 3 tablespoons chopped cilantro (optional) Heat the cooking oil over low heat in a large pot. Add the onion and cook for about 5 minutes, or until translucent. Add in the cayenne, coriander, black

FOOD | SEEMA pepper, garlic, and ginger. Cook, stirring continually for about 30 seconds.

Next, pour in the chicken broth, fish sauce, coconut milk, lime zest, and salt. Bring to a simmer while stirring occasionally. Partially cover the pot and continue to simmer, reducing the heat if necessary, for 10 minutes.

While the soup is simmering, bring a large pot of salted water to a boil and

cook the fettuccine. Cook just until done, about 12 minutes.

Place chicken slices into the soup and cook for about 1 ½ minutes until cooked. Remove the soup pot from the heat and mix in the cooked fettuccine, lime juice, and cilantro (optional).

Serve in a bowl with both a fork and spoon.

Easy Vegetable Lo Mein This recipe has only a handful of ingredients and can be ready in just 15 minutes. It’s a delicious vegetarian option but would also be great with added chicken or shrimp.

Serves: 4 Ingredients 12 oz. package lo mein noodles 2 teaspoons toasted sesame oil 6 tablespoons soy sauce 2 teaspoons water 2 teaspoons sugar 4 tablespoons high heat cooking oil 6 cups mixed vegetables (mushrooms, bell peppers, cabbage, and green onion or any variety you like) Follow the package directions to cook the lo mein noodles then drain and put aside. While those are cooking, mix the sesame oil, soy sauce, water, and sugar.

In a large skillet heat the cooking oil over medium heat. Once the oil is beginning to simmer, toss in the vegetables. Stir fry for about a minute until the edges of the vegetables start to wilt.

Add the noodles and sauce to the vegetables. Mix and continue to cook for about 2 minutes, or until there is no more sauce at the bottom of the skillet.

Serve immediately.

1/2 cup cherry tomatoes, cut in half 2 skinless, boneless chicken thighs, cut in 1-inch chunks vegetable oil 1/2 teaspoon turmeric 2 heaped teaspoons curry powder 1/2 cup organic chicken stock 1/2 cup light coconut milk 1/2 cup basmati rice 1 lime, cut in half 1 tablespoon mango chutney (optional)

South Asian Style Chicken Curry A tasty dish filled with the slow-cooked flavors of a delicious curry but made in about 30 minutes. It’s a simple meal to make, with not much more than chicken, rice, and a few of your favorite spices.

Serves: 2 Ingredients 1 small onion, finely chopped 2 mixed-color peppers, deseeded and chopped 1 2 ¼ inch piece of ginger, finely chopped 2 cloves garlic, finely chopped few fresh coriander sprigs, pick off leaves and finely chop stalks

In a large frying pan, heat one tablespoon of oil over medium heat. Add onion and pepper, and fry for about 10 minutes until softened.

Add ginger, garlic, and coriander stalks and fry until soft, about 3 minutes.

Stir in turmeric powder and curry powder and cook for another 2 minutes.

Add chicken pieces, mixing to thoroughly coat for 2 minutes.

Pour in the chicken stock and coconut milk and bring to a boil. Once boiling, reduce heat and let simmer for 12-14 minutes until sauce is thickened.

Add in the tomato for the last 5 minutes of cooking.

Squeeze half the lime over the curry, add a pinch of black pepper, and mango chutney (optional). Taste and repeat if needed.

Serve sprinkled with coriander leaves and lime wedges over cooked basmati rice.

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FOOD | SEEMA

Fall Vegetables for the South Asian Palate

MELANIE FOURIE

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n South Asia, fall is associated with colorful landscapes, spectacular festivals, golden-hued rice fields primed for harvest, and the flocking of exotic birds. It also heralds a transition to colder months, and with that comes the onset of cold weather illnesses. You can however, boost your immunity when you eat vegetables that are in season. According to the eco-nutritionist corroborating Farmer’s Market, Kavita Mukhi, eating seasonal foods makes maintaining health simple. To that end, it’s also better to eat vegetables that are in season, as it’s fresher. One surefire way to ascertain what’s in season is to “Buy what’s available in abundance in its freshest avatar at your local market,” says dietician Naini Setalvad. Here’s a bit more on what you can expect to be in season this fall, and how you can incorporate these into your dishes.

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FOOD | SEEMA Tomatoes

These are easy to grow from homegrown seeds, even though you can find other variations from across the globe like heirloom or cherry tomatoes at your marketplace. It’s packed with the antioxidant lycopene, vitamins C and K, potassium, and folate. Tomatoes are indispensable when it comes to making curries, rasam soup, kurma, and kerala fry.

Eggplant

This purple-hued vegetable, also referred to as brinjal, becomes soft on the inside and darker on the exterior when roasted. A wonderful source of fiber, it contains vitamins A and C too. Utilize the inside to make delicious baingan ka bharta. You can also use eggplants to cook main courses such as stuffed bharwan baingain. Or use this vegetable in salads, dips, and even lasagna.

FOOD PICTURES: www.freepik.com/photos/food”>Food photo created by Racool_studio

Spinach

Spinach helps reduce oxidative stress and contains iron, magnesium, and vitamins A, K, and C. Cook up a storm with this vegetable with saag bahji, a decadent spinach curry. You can also use this vegetable for a signature Indian dish like palak paneer, which is essentially spinach combined with Indian cottage cheese. Blend the palak paneer with some spices to cook a tasty curry.

Chawli

Also known as black-eyed beans, chawli comprises zinc and folate. Use this to cook up a storm with some chawli curry. You can also use chawli to make masala chawli, which is an incredibly aromatic subzi. Or make some mixed kathol, a scrumptious blend of pulses served during festivities. A snack utilizing chawli includes alasanda vada. Or use chawli for some steaming, healthy, French beans and carrot soup.

Dill

The Hindi term for this is savaa. It’s also referred to as Lao coriander and is a great source of vitamin C, calcium, riboflavin, and fiber. It has a delicate, sweet aroma and its leaves and seeds are used for cooking. Sprinkle your dill seeds over root vege-

tables or use to make some pickles. Or make some shepu bhaji or Indian fried dill potatoes or soya saag with your dill leaves.

Spring Onions

Also known as scallions, these contain vitamin A, manganese, and copper.

Utilize these in your stir fries or toss some in your raw vegetable salads. Some South Asian dishes these are used in include spring onion curry and spring onion curry with besan. You can also make spring onion paratha, fried rice, or delicious spring rolls with these.

Cucumber

Nutrient-dense cucumbers comprise beta carotene, electrolytes, and vitamin C. Use this staple vegetable to make spicy Indian cucumber salad. Just add some red onion, tomatoes, chilli, coriander leaves, lime, roasted nuts, cumin, and poppadoms, and viola! Or cook these in some masala tomatoes. You could also make cucumber curry with this.

Bell Peppers

Used for easing ostearthritis and rich in vitamin E, bell peppers are also known as sweet peppers or capsicum. Incorporate these into dishes such as bell pepper curry, which includes a lovely masala gravy that complements pulao, rice, chapathi, and dosa. You can also stuff bell pepper with spiced potatoes. Or use these peppers in a savory rice dish, or in kadai egg masala, biryani, or parotta.

Gavar or Cluster Beans

This legume is native to Pakistan and India and helps aid digestion. Incorporate gavar into pumpkin to make a nutritious subzi or use to make panchmel ki subzi. You can also add chawli and capsicum to this dish. Or make gavar aur masoor dal with this. Simply add onions and tomatoes for a dal that oozes with flavor. Or cook a gavar bajra dhokli; a combination of cluster beans and bajra that you can also serve with piping-hot phulkas. d

OCTOBER 2020 | SEEMA.COM | 49

TRAVEL | SEEMA

Traveling in the Time of COVID JORDANA WEISS

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ith so many people cooped up at home for the last several months, the prospect of travel is becoming more enticing. Many people have had to give up exciting plans, beloved traditions, hobbies, get-togethers, and other trips, staying socially distant to avoid COVID-19.

Zoom cocktail hours and hangouts are fun, of course, but they are no replacement to physically meeting family and friends.

However, there are still ways to achieve normalcy, even in a pandemic. Doing things that make us feel normal, like travel, may just require additional planning and the willingness to be f lexible.

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Getting Around in 2020 If you’re tired of being stuck at home, there are things you can do to explore new destinations, and connect with faraway loved ones. Our suggestions for safer travel do come with some risks, but with careful precautions and care you can still take a trip this fall or winter.

That Classic American Road Trip A road trip is a good way to avoid exposure to other people while traveling. When you are planning your route, make sure you’re aware of all the restrictions individual states have put in place for interstate travelers.

For example, California, Delaware, Iowa, and Maryland have no state-wide restrictions. Others, like Massachusetts, Hawaii, and New Jersey, have rules in place that

TRAVEL | SEEMA require some quarantine for people coming in from states with higher transmission rates.

Whatever route you take, make sure you’re well-stocked with masks, hand sanitizer, and snacks, so that you can limit your stops.

Flee the Country While many popular international travel destinations have imposed entry restrictions on Americans, there are still some without any restrictions. If you’re craving an international destination, you can still find flights, although they are likely to be much less frequent.

Countries like Belarus and North Macedonia have no entry requirements, but are hardly at the top of most people’s travel bucket lists. Many sunny destinations in the Caribbean are open to Americans as long as entrants can show proof of a negative coronavirus test within the last 3-7 days. However, traveling by airplane is still risky, since you can come in close contact with many people at airports, thus increasing your chances of exposure.

Keep it Local While there are lots of incredible places to visit in the United States, every state has destinations locals would never think to visit. Instead of crossing state lines, spend some time getting to know your own state.

Drive to a local landmark that you have always wanted to visit. Most national parks and conservation areas remain accessible, although many visitor centers may have reduced hours and extra precautions in place. Before you depart, check to make sure there are no changes in the hours or operating policies of the place you are visiting.

If you are not feeling too adventurous but still want to get out of your own house, book accommodations on Airbnb or VRBO and enjoy a staycation lasting a few days. Treat yourself to some delicious food, stock up on some great books and movies, and shrug off your normal routine for a few days. The change of pace could ensure you repose and a reset, and send you back home refreshed. d

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TRAVEL | SEEMA

Best Places to Retire for Women Over 50 This is our list of the safest, prettiest and most affordable places for retiring women to settle down ADAM CARPENTER Retirement can be exciting and life-changing. You have spent your life working, taking care of others, and looking forward to getting to this point. Now that it is here, where will you go? You may want to relax on a tranquil beach, take in the nightlife of a big city, or start fresh in a new land with a different culture. Whatever you desire, there is some place 52 | SEEMA.COM | OCTOBER 2020

in the world that has just what you need. If you are a woman getting ready to retire, a destination that suits your style is key. This includes a place that fits your budget, has reliable healthcare, and is safe for women and foreigners alike. We have compiled a list of a few locations, both near and far, that could check all your boxes.

TRAVEL | SEEMA Thailand Thailand is an excellent place to retire due to its low cost of living, a great healthcare system, beautiful weather and landscapes. It offers serene beaches and forests as well as a bustling city life. You can live quite comfortably on a retiree budget with all the modern amenities. It has a well-established retirement and expat community that will make you feel right at home. One option is Hua Hin is a laid-back and scenic beach town that offers a wide range of international waterfront restaurants to choose from. If city life appeals to you, Chiang Mai is the largest city in northern Thailand. It has everything you could need, from shopping centers to cinemas to hairdressers. While using common sense is always important when in a foreign land, Thailand is considered a safe place to spend your retirement.

Costa Rica Costa Rica is known for its safety, top-notch medical care, and of course its tropical beauty. The local people welcome foreigners and love to teach them about their culture and country. There is a strong expat community that is happy to help you get settled in. Costa Rica has a relaxed way of life with time to enjoy the beautiful outdoors and talk with friends. There are small rural towns in the mountains and busier cities near the coast. All offer locally grown fresh fruits, vegetables, and seafood that will keep you feeling your best.

Portugal Portugal has a rich history and culture that provide a welcoming place for retirees to live. It has a year-round pleasant climate that can appeal to anyone. Many people assert that one of the best things about Portugal is how kind the people are.

It is affordable, and has many inexpensive options right outside the main cities. In 2019, Portugal was rated the third-safest country in the world by the Global Peace Index. You can enjoy culture in the museums or nightlife in the cities, explore ancient ruins, and explore beautiful beaches, all in one place.

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TRAVEL | SEEMA

Malaysia Malaysia is a beautiful country with lush rain forests, high mountains, and breathtaking beaches. It has excellent medical care at unbeatable prices. You can live comfortably, even in a bit of luxury, on an average retiree’s budget. With year-round good weather, you can engage in all the different outdoor activities - such as hiking or relaxing on a beach. The island of Penang offers both modern conveniences mixed with an old-world feel.

At the northwest tip of the island is a national park with walking trails, beaches, and lakes.

Panama Panama has an amazingly diverse landscape and so offers an abundance of options for places to live.

In some parts of the country, you can get from the Caribbean Sea to the Pacific Ocean in just a few hours. There are mountainous regions, big cities, and seaside villages. Panama City itself has every amenity you can think of and is easy to get to, thanks to the Pan-American Highway that spans the length of the country. The culture is welcoming to foreigners, making it a safe place to live. They offer one of the best retiree programs in the world to women over 55 and men over 60. It provides discounts for a variety of things, from medical care to movie tickets. The program is offered by law to anyone that qualifies, both Panamanian and foreigners.

Whether you choose Thailand, Panama, Malaysia, Costa Rica, or Portugal, each destination has enough sun, fun, amenities, and culture to make your golden years really glow. Make a list of exactly what you need and want be-

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fore making a move. When you find the right spot, spend a few months there before making your final decision.

Remember, you have spent years working for others; this is your chance to do something for yourself. d

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