CONNECTING HOME AND SCHOOL

Sarah Silkin is a proud mum and Seed educator at Rimon Jewish Primary School, who also runs our Babies & Bagels programme and the women’s One2One programme in London. She has a passion for teaching and has enjoyed forming relationships and learning with lots of different people over the years.

Life tools for Jewish Families

By Sarah Silkin

A As we start the new school year, I would like to pose a question that I’m sure plays on many of your minds. Just how important is a parent’s role in their child’s education? Perhaps a parent’s responsibility is to provide a happy and calm environment at home for their child and leave education to the teachers at school. Or can an argument be made for a strong parent-teacher relationship? Having spent time thinking about and researching this topic, I have come to learn that a healthy teacher-parent partnership has a very important part to play in our children’s development. In fact, John Hatties in his seminal 2008 study, Visible Learning, found that the effect of parents being engaged with their child’s learning over the course of a student’s career is equivalent to adding two or three years to the child’s education! Underpinning this is both parties recognising the role of the other. If a teacher feels supported by a parent, it helps the teacher give more love and care to the student. And when a parent gets the sense that the teacher is interested in the welfare of their child, then they too are able to further support their child’s education at home. Furthermore, when a child feels supported by his parents when it comes to their schooling, not only will their learning improve, but studies also reveal a host of other benefits, including better behaviour, greater self-esteem, higher attendance rates, lower risk of exclusion, more enthusiasm about learning and ultimately better results. So it is clear that as parents we can do a tremendous amount to help our children thrive by establishing a wholesome rapport with their teachers.

Here are some practical examples I would like to suggest:

1. Show an interest in your child’s day at school when they come home. When you ask “How was school?” and the answer is always “Fine!” or “It was OK”, try and ask more specific questions, like “How was your art lesson today?” or “Did you get a new reading book?” In our family, at supper time we ask each child what they learned that day that they didn’t know yesterday. It’s fascinating to hear their replies! 2. To help your child to complete their homework, it is vital to create a supportive atmosphere in the home. I try to tidy the table and put out cut up fruit for the kids to enjoy while they are working on their assignments. 3. Celebrate your child’s school achievements at home - any milestone whether big or small, at every age and stage. Put every certificate or achievement note on the fridge. 4. Keep the teacher informed of any change or events happening in your child’s life – including the fun ones. Recently we went on a family trip and our kids were so excited to show their teachers the photos we took. 5. Make sure to read your child’s school report carefully and use it as an opportunity to compliment them on their successes and discuss ways they may be able to do even better. 6. Don’t jump to conclusions when you hear something negative about your child’s teacher – remember that teachers are human beings too! 7. In the Shema we read “Ve’dibarta bam be’shivtecha be’vaytecha – and you shall speak of them when you sit in your house”. This serves as a reminder to ask ourselves - what are we talking about in our homes? Are we saying positive things about our children’s teachers or putting them down? Kids hear everything, and if we model respect for their teachers, our children will be much more receptive to learning from them. 8. Send in a handwritten note thanking the teacher for a specific achievement in your child’s life. It means so much more to the teachers than any end of year gift. (I know because I was a teacher myself!)

We as parents need to try to reflect the values of our child’s school in order to achieve the best possible parent-school partnership, even if we are coming from different places when it comes to religious practice. Recently I was standing at the counter at Starbucks behind a mother and son. He was about eight years old, proudly wearing his Jewish school uniform complete with tzizit and kippa. The mother turned round to her son and said “Would you like one of those sandwiches?” The child replied “But Mum, it’s a ham sandwich! It’s not kosher!” To which the mum then replied “Honey, this one is with kosher ham!” Now, we all know there’s no such thing as kosher ham – unless it’s imitation ham, which those sandwiches certainly were not. The point of this story is not to lecture anyone about religious practice. Rather, the issue here is that the child was receiving mixed messages. He had clearly learned in school - the school his parents chose to send him to - that this meat was inappropriate for a Jew to eat. Yet, his mother was confusing him by effectively contradicting his teachers. This does not make for a well-balanced education. It is essential for every child to understand and see that his teachers and parents are singing from the same ‘zemirot’ sheet.

The more we partner with our Jewish schools and share the values they are trying to impart, the more our children will gain, growing up to be proud of their Jewish identity.