THE HIGH HOLIDAYS

The High Holidays and Jewish Guilt

A Awhile back I saw a video advertising a fictitious app designed by Jewish grandmothers. The name of the app was all too direct about its core motive – it was called: “Would it kill you to call?” In the video, playing on the hearts of hundreds of guilt-ridden Jewish grandchildren, an octogenarian sits in front of the camera and says in a perfect Yiddish accent: "Hello everyone, my name is Judith Cohen. I'm the creator of this new app ‘Would it kill you to call?'" "After all that we've done, what do we get in return?" Judith laments in true Yiddish grandma fashion, describing how grandmothers have worked so hard and given up so much for their grandchildren and that at the very least they deserve a regular phone call! She explains that her app automatically sends a text message to grandchildren who failed to make the weekly call, in order to prompt them to reach out: "So you took my Bar Mitzvah money but now I'm useless to you?" She promises: "It's that easy. With 'Would it kill you to call?' you'll always be hearing from your loved ones. Ask someone to put it on your phone today." The truth is that the app does not yet exist (although I see great, great potential in it). However, the concept of Jewish guilt is not new. It precedes even Judith Cohen. However, as I think we are all innately aware, guilt is not a constructive emotion. Honesty is crucial, and self-evaluation is essential, but not guilt. Guilt is ultimately a negative emotion that rarely leads us anywhere positive in the long term. If I asked you to define Judaism in one word, what would you say? There are many possible answers, but a quick Google search will show: “Judaism is amongst the great religions of the world”. This seems fair, to call Judaism a religion - no? The funny thing is that the Torah itself never uses the word ‘religion’. The Hebrew word for religion is ‘Dat’ and we don’t find this word anywhere in the five books of the Torah. (In a stark contrast, other major world religions are very clear that they consider themselves a religion.) So if Judaism is a religion then why doesn’t it say so in the Torah?! Rabbi Benzion Klatzko explains that this is because Judaism is not a religion. Rather, it is a relationship.

Whilst the word for religion is not to be found in the Torah, words that relate to a relationship are everywhere! The Shema talks about loving G-d, and the prayers on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur describe us as Hashem’s “child of delight”. The word ‘Elul’ – the month leading up to the so-called “fearsome” High Holidays is an acronym for the phrase “I am to my beloved and my beloved is to me”, which refers to our relationship with Hashem. There is an age-old tale told of the sun and the wind. They were embroiled in a bitter argument over who was stronger and more powerful. Each one claimed it was they who was the strongest. They decided to settle the dispute with a duel. An innocent fellow was walking down the street with a heavy winter coat - the one who would be able to get the coat off him first would be crowned the winner. The wind asked to go first, and out of nowhere a huge gale blew in the direction of the man. It almost swept the coat right off his back, but he managed to hold on to it by his fingernails. He then held on to the coat tighter than ever! The wind blew and blew, and even created a tornado that picked the man up into the air! All the while, the man held onto his coat for dear life. The sun asked if he could have a try. The warm sunshine allowed its rays to settle upon the man, who, upon feeling the warmth, removed his coat and hung it on a tree. The dispute was settled, and in this story there is a great life lesson for us all. When we try to use brute force and pressure to achieve something, we can only manage so much. With sunshine, warmth and love - the world is our oyster. Many of us approach Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur with fear and dread. This is such a shame. We are about to enter a wonderful time, a time to take stock of the wonderful blessings in our lives, and to see what we can do to ensure we are living the lives we know we want to. Rather than being hard on ourselves, let’s dance our way into the High Holidays, feeling excited about the opportunities we are blessed with - the blessings of being a Jew. Oh and by the way… don’t forget to call your grandma!

By Rabbi Aron Litwin

You see, the word religion is associated with a list of rules that I have to follow – or in other words, a strain, a bother, a burden. A relationship is the complete opposite. A relationship is built upon love, desire and an array of opportunities to express my passion.