8 minute read
15 MINUTES WITH
by Seed UK
15 Minutes
with Rabbi Shaya Grunfeld
Advertisement
I hear that you have ten siblings – where do you sit in the ranks, and what was your home like growing up?
I’m number six of eleven, which means I’m the jam. It was a definitely a very busy home! I grew up in Gateshead – I was born there and lived there until I was 18. What was unique about my home was that during the week my father commuted very frequently to London to the Seed head office, which meant my mother basically ran the home on her own. Looking back, what she put up with for the sake of his work in Anglo-Jewry was an unbelievable self-sacrifice. She had a cleaning lady who came to help every day but I still don’t know how she did it, and nothing was done by halves – my mother was always well-dressed and served us proper dinners every day. My father says that throughout those years he never heard a word of complaint from her about it, and that everything he achieved during that time is 100% hers.
Did you feel your father’s absence at home?
On Shabbos he was such a present father that we really didn’t feel his absence when it wasn’t Shabbos. He had so much energy – he engaged with us, he put us to bed, he read us stories… and when necessary he parented us over the phone during the week as well! He always supported my mum. I was a complicated kid and I don’t think I gave her an easy time. I was in the middle of a girl sandwich – I looked up to my three eldest brothers but I was too young for them – the ones closest to me in age were two older sisters and then three younger sisters. But my memories of Shabbos are of my father being very present and of course lots and lots of singing - we’re a very musical family.
As a child how much did you know about Seed and the work your father was doing?
Gateshead was a very self-contained, insular community, but because of the work my father did, we were given more breadth as kids. Some weeks he would bring families from Seed to our home on a Friday to experience Shabbos with us. As children we enjoyed sharing the beauty of Yiddishkeit with people, and it gave us an exposure and insight into the wider Jewish community and what our father was doing out there educationally.
When did the family move to Golders Green?
It was when I was aged 18 and it actually coincided with me leaving Gateshead to go to yeshiva in Israel. When I came back for the holidays it was strange to be on unfamiliar territory, but I was fortunate that I didn’t have to change schools or anything like that. The house was very small and dilapidated compared to the sixbedroom Gateshead home we grew up in, which must have been difficult for my parents and siblings. Over time an extension was built and a loft but for a period of time it was such a tiny place.
How long were you in Israel for?
I was in yeshiva in Israel for three years and one year when I came home for Sukkot, I met my wife and we got engaged. We then lived in Israel together for five years, where I studied in a kollel (a yeshiva for married men) and got semicha (Rabbinic ordination). After those first three years I then did something that was quite unusual for a Gateshead boy – with my father in law’s encouragement I studied to become a therapist.
Despite the fact that I lived and breathed Seed throughout my childhood, I never saw myself working in the field of education and outreach. My plan was to go back to the Gateshead community and work as a therapist there, but then things changed at the last minute and I ended up in Manchester.
What did you do in Manchester?
I secured a place at Whitefield Kollel and I worked as a therapist in the evenings. I also went to Gateshead one day a week to work as a therapist there. Because Whitefield Kollel was an outreach organisation I started learning with people from the wider community, which made me realise that I could actually make a difference and engage people with Judaism and Torah learning. At the time, Vanessa Broder was running Seed Manchester, and was busy rejuvenating and expanding the organisation. She asked me to get involved with a particular programme, then she wanted me to become more involved, and after that the rest is history.
I hope you don’t mind me asking but do you think your surname had anything to do with it?
Right from the very beginning there was a worry both in my mind and in my father’s mind about nepotism, and him being my boss and so on. I did not want to get the job because I was my father’s son, and equally my father didn’t want me to get the job because I was his son. Therefore we were careful to go through a proper process throughout – that’s always been very important to me. My wife and I had a formal interview with Rabbi Herman, and we made it clear that he and Vanessa would need to be my boss, not my father. I wanted to be part of Seed in my own right, and on my own merits.
What was your role initially at Seed?
So in around 2007 I started working for Seed as a part-time educator, and I carried on working as a therapist part-time both in Manchester and Gateshead. Then in 2015, Seed was expanding and opening a new centre and I agreed to take on a leadership role in partnership with Vanessa. Then about a year and a half later she dropped the bombshell that she and her family were making aliyah, leaving me to take the reins on my own!
How has it been taking on that solo leadership role?
It was overwhelming at first. It’s been a journey – and it still is a journey. Learning to be a fundraiser, learning about strategy and management – it’s huge - but thankfully we have a fantastic team here at Seed Manchester. I can’t do as much teaching or engage with participants as much, which is the biggest personal challenge for me. It’s never really been ‘just’ a job for me though – it’s a passion and it’s a responsibility. I very much see myself as carrying on my father’s legacy, and I’ve only ever felt support, encouragement and a sense of pride from all of my siblings in doing this.
What do the rest of your siblings do professionally?
They are all involved in some area of Jewish education. One of my sisters is the principal of a girls’ school, two of my brothers teach Jewish Studies in a school and yeshiva, another brother is a lecturer in a seminary, and another brother is the head of department in a boys’ school.
What is Seed Manchester like now compared to how it was when you first came on the scene?
Seed Manchester has changed massively – when I first joined, it was just three of us working from home. Then it grew to needing office space, then bigger office space, and now we have our own beautiful, vibrant centre – it’s amazing really. Our schools programme has grown so much as well.
And now you have your father there too! What’s it like having your parents just around the corner?
My parents moving to Manchester has been the most amazing thing. They are our role models, and now our children can have that wonderful experience of being around them every week too. It’s like a new lease of life for my mum and dad, being able to get nachas from their grandchildren, and it’s wonderful to see that. When we first moved to Manchester I had one sibling living here and my wife had two siblings in the area – since then, more have moved to Manchester, and now there are six of us living here! So from a family perspective Manchester is a very comfortable and happy place for my parents to be, and we are all so happy having them here.
Rabbi Shaya Grunfeld is the Director of Seed Manchester and also a practicing therapist. He is married to Kayla who is a busy kallah teacher and they have nine children aged two to 21 years old.
Life tools for Jewish Families
Trips and Seminars
16 - 18 December 2022 The Courage to Climb Advanced Seminar
Contact: rabbi.edwards@seeduk.org
8 – 12 January 2023 Women’s Israel Trip
Contact: seedisraeltrips@gmail.com
10 - 12 February 2023 Family Seminar
Contact: debbie@seed.uk.net
Contact: danielpfine@gmail.com
Contact: joanne@seed.uk.net
26 - 28 February 2023 (TBC) Poland Trip
Contact: rabbi.edwards@seeduk.org
