Interview with a Dragon By: Sebastian S: Um, excuse me are you a Dragon? (Stuttering)
S= Speaker D= Dragon
D: Why do you ask? (Wary voice) S: Well I wanted to interview you. D: Oh in that case sure. (Relieved) S: So, when and where were you born? D: Hmm, somewhere that would have been Russia in 862 AD. (Not sure voice) S: Then why are you here? (In Africa) D: Well, a blasted Viking Lord had to settle in, right where there was good hunting prey. So then prey had become scarce and then more Vikings had to settle in so there was NO prey left, so then I had to leave, S: Oh, what was your diet? D: Milk, maidens, cakes, birds, oxen, deer, and elephants' blood. Milk is our favorite drink. It makes us sleepy and too drunk to harm anyone. Also honey is to satisfy our sweet tooth, though cake works too. S: Does the food help you breath fire and how young do you start to breath fire? D: Oh, at the age of 100 or something like that, so you could say young, for eating we start at year one and yes food actually fuels the fire, if we don’t eat then our fire won’t work. S: Do you have, like a day where you can’t breath fire? D: Oh, on a solstice. S: How old are you? (Wary of answer) D: Oh… Well I am 9,958,954,323,456,779,328 years old. Hmph I’m still middle-aged S: How old is the oldest dragon in the world? D: 989,798,794,854,954,959,348,527,975,928,475,928,712 years old. S: So, how old are you classed like what age is considered what? D: Oh, 10,000 and below a baby, 100,000,000 and below a youngling, 1,000,000,000,000,000 and below middle aged, and older is just plain old.
S: Oh. D: Any other questions. S: Do dragons like goblins? D: I am not putting THAT in my mouth! S: Do dragons like Dwarves? D: No. They are too tough and chewy. Plus, the beard gets stuck between our teeth. Only baby dwarves are good, add the hot sauce with them, and then they taste really good. S: Do dragons like elves? D: Yes. They are especially good with tartar sauce! S: What are a dragonâ€™s favorite sauces? D: Hot sauce, tartar sauce, chili sauce, and chocolate sauce. S: Hmm well that's the end of the interview. D: Oh no I canâ€™t let you go, then that would be a waste of a good meal. S: Wait what? D: Well say goodbye S: Nooooooooooooo! Tape goes: hshshssshshsssshshsssssshshss (Everyone Bewildered)
THE END! Read By: Arman Balian
Published on May 20, 2013