Seacoast Scene 1-10-19

JANUARY 10 - 23, 2019

FRE E

MAP P. 12

Get intense, hold a pose or work out with a group

A WORD FROM LARRY

Master McGrath’s

The right time for resolutions

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*KENO*

I hope everyone had a great New Years! Let’s talk resolutions. This issue and the next issue of the Seacoast Scene will have special stories about looking good and feeling great. Look for Larry Marsolais stories on fitness (this issue), fun ways to eat healthy (on stands Jan. 24) and general ways to get your body feeling better.

How many of you remember last year at this time? We were having a great and powerful old fashion New England blizzard. December had a week of temperatures below 15, dropping to below zero. I guess we can be grateful that 2019 is com-

ing in calm; after all, this is New England and we all know the weather can change just like that. So while we are all trying to get through the next few months of winter, try to enjoy all there is to do on the Seacoast — it may not be beach season, but there are plenty of indoor places to visit.

And spring is less than 10 weeks away…

I enjoy your emails and comments, please continue to send them in.

Feel free to call me anytime at 603-9355096 to discuss local issues or to place an ad.

Larry Marsolais is the general manager of the Seacoast Scene and the former president of the Hampton Rotary Club.

Sandwiches • Burgers • Pizza Steaks • Seafood • BBQ Thursday Night Karaoke!

JANUARY 10 - 23, 2019 VOL 44 NO 1

Breakfast Served

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Sat & Sun 8am-2pm Friday Night Special Fried Clam Plate Saturday Night Prime Rib Special

Larry Marsolais Seacoast Scene General Manager 603-935-5096 larry@seacoastscene.net

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COVER STORY 6 Fun fitness

MAPPED OUT 12 Beaches, restrooms, where to walk your dog and more

PEOPLE & PLACES 13 The coolest Seacoast dwellers and scenes

FOOD 18 Eateries and foodie events

POP CULTURE 22 Books, art, theater and classical

NITE LIFE 24 Music, comedy and more

BEACH BUM FUN 26 Puzzles, horoscopes and crazy news Your weekly guide to the coast.

Published every Thursday (1st copy free; 2nd $1).

Seacoast Scene PO Box 961 Hampton NH 03843 603-935-5096 | www.seacoastscene.net

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4 SHORE THINGS

EVENTS TO CHECK OUT JANUARY 10 - 23, 2019, AND BEYOND Join the chorus

Rockingham Choral Society is welcoming new and returning singers for its spring concert. There will be open rehearsals Jan. 15 and Jan. 22 at the Cooperative Middle School, 100 Academic Way, Stratham, and all are welcome.

Regular rehearsals are held Tuesday evenings.

Auditions for membership are required but no preparation is needed. The major work for this concert will be Les Sept Paroles du Christ en Croix by Ceasar Franck. Dues are affordable and are waived for high school and college students. Find us on Facebook or visit rockinghamchoralsociety.org.

Peaceful day

Normally the Children’s Museum of NH is closed on Mondays, but it will be open Jan. 21 from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. to celebrate Dr. Martin Luther King Junior Day with activities that emphasize peace. Make a peace dove, create your own peace sign and explore your own dreams. There will also be readings of MLK stories, as well as stories about peace, throughout the day. This program is free with museum admission. Visit childrens-museum.org.

NHAA showcase Back to the 1700s

On Monday, Jan. 14, the Stratham Historical Society and the Wiggin Memorial Library will present “The James Homestead of Hampton, NH” in the Community Room at The Stratham Fire Department, 4 Winnicutt Road, Stratham. The presenter, Skip Webb, will conduct two 30-minute programs while dressed in 1723 attire. The first program is titled “The James Homestead,” with information on the James House construction, its surrounding property, its history and why the homestead is a National Historic Site.

The other is “An l8th Century Farmer” depicting the life of Benjamin James, from his time as a weaver and farmer in Newbury, Mass., and including his marriage to Susanna Smith in 1702. It continues with the purchase of the James property in Hampton in 1705, building the James House in 1723 and what farm life was like in the mid 1700s. The program begins at 7 p.m., with a business meeting of the Stratham Historical Society preceding it at 6:30 p.m. The presentation is free and open to the public.

Refreshments will be served. For more information, call 603-772-4346 or visit library. strathamnh.gov.

The New Hampshire Art Association presents its New Member Exhibit at the Robert Lincoln Levy Gallery East Gallery (136 State St., Portsmouth) through Jan. 27, with an opening reception on Saturday, Jan. 12, from 3 to 5 p.m.

The exhibit highlights the work in a variety of styles and media by more than 30 artists who were juried into the organization in 2018. “This 78-year-old organization continues to regenerate its membership and offers visitors the most expansive selection of art in Portsmouth,” Carol Reynolds, gallery manager, said in a press release. “We invite the public to see this exhibit and meet the new members at the opening reception.” Call 224-2508 or visit nhartassociation.org.

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by Rob Levey If you want to set some fitness goals but aren’t sure where to start, we have some suggestions, whether you’re looking for an intense form of exercise or a gentler approach to your workout — or even if you think your new goals might be best achieved with a little moral support from a personal trainer and two or three likeminded peers. Local experts shared their thoughts on all the different ways you can get fit.

Group personal training For many people, going it alone in a gym can be somewhat intimidating, which explains in part the popularity of group

personal training. According to Josh Gould of Seacoast Strength & Conditioning in Rye, the concept behind GPT is simple.

“It is personal training with individualized programming and instruction, but in groups of three to four per coach,” he said.

“People share the coach but perform their own personal workout.”

He said GPT is not just an option for one demographic either; it is a viable option for people of all ages and abilities.

“Our members’ ages range from preteen to 70-plus,” he said. “Fitness levels include individuals training for the very first time, training with major medical conditions, or coming back from injury to

SEACOAST SCENE | JANUARY 10 - 23, 2019 | PAGE 6

members with high physical capacity, such as competitive athletes.”

According to Gould, GPT provides three major benefits over other forms of training. The first, he said, is that workouts are programmed specifically for the individual based on his particular wants and needs.

The second benefit is cost, he said, as GPT is generally half the price or less than private one-on-one training. The third benefit is about the experience it provides.

“We see the members’ experience improve by working out with others, which has helped build a community of support and encouragement and further ensures their success,” he said.

Matt Szelog, sports performance supervisor and athletic trainer at the Athletic Performance Center of Exeter Hospital, said group training is also a great way to get and stay motivated.

“You have someone, an instructor, giving guidance and holding you accountable,” he said. “Additionally, the people around you can be motivating and supportive.”

As for an example of how GPT works, Gould said, they post members’ workouts on white boards that are updated every session by their coaches.

“As a member enters their GPT session, they will meet with their coach,” he said.

“They will go over their workout 7

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6 for the day written on the board under their name just as two or three other members do the same preparing for their own workout at the same time.

He said their GPT workouts involve five major parts: warm-up, dynamic mobility, stability/activation, strength and conditioning.

“This comprehensive and functional approach is the best method to make strong, healthy, durable and cardiovascular fit individuals,” he said.

Group training experiences can also be customized for specific age groups. At Fit Body Transformations in Kingston, for instance, Pearla Phillips said they offer Masters in Restorative Movement, which is aimed specifically for groups of up to six people, 65 years and older.

“We start with a three-month program at the beginner level to restore movement patterns and improve balance,” she said.

“You will progress at your own pace in a fun environment of your peers, and a coach will guide you every step of the way.”

For those trying to decide between personal and group training, Phillips cited several considerations.

“If you have pain or recently finished physical therapy and are having issues with your mobility, then personal training is your best bet at the moment,” she said.

“Group training is perfect for people who have no physical limitations and are looking to have fun in a group setting.”

Just because you are not injured, now,

however, does not mean you should not first research a group training program, according to Szelog.

“Don’t just jump into a program because you saw it online, on TV, or a friend gave you their program,” he said. “Have individual goals and research how to best obtain those goals. When possible, ask questions from gym staff members or those you know have abundant training experience.

The last thing you want to end up with is an injury.”

Yoga Yoga is another option for people interested in getting, or remaining, fit in 2019.

In fact, according to Heather Campbell of Bending Bodhi Yoga in Dover, yoga gets much more than one’s body fit.

“It also gets our minds fit,” she said.

She defines yoga as a mind-body practice that combines three major elements.

Poses: Yoga poses themselves are a series of movements designed to increase strength and flexibility.

“The reason yoga is accessible to everyone is because these poses range from lying on the floor while completely relaxed to difficult postures that may challenge your physical limits,” she said. “It’s all about your goals.”

Breathing: Control of your breath is an integral part of yoga.

“Yoga teaches us that controlling your breathing can help you control your body and quiet your mind,” said Campbell. 8

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7 Meditation or relaxation: Meditation or relaxation generally takes place at the beginning and end of a class.

“Meditation can help you to learn to be more mindful and aware of the present moment without judgment,” she said.

When combined, she said, these three elements can help produce a variety of health benefits, including stress reduction, physical fitness and a calmer state of being.

She said yoga can also help reduce risk factors for heart disease and high blood pressure.

“Studies have also shown that yoga can help alleviate chronic conditions, such as depression, pain, anxiety and insomnia,” she said. “Unlike most other forms of exercise, yoga targets the fitness of the whole of you and not just your physical form.”

For folks who may consider yoga an exercise for just those who are flexible, Campbell said that is a myth.

“I always take this opportunity to remind people that saying you have to be flexible to do yoga is like saying you have to be fit to go to the gym,” she said. “Flexibility is a result of yoga — it is not a prerequisite to start.”

Noting that “every body is different,” she said everyone will experience different levels of flexibility. For example, she said. one person might be able to touch her toes by simply bending over while another needs to bend his knees.

“Both achieve the same result but look different,” she said. “The more you practice yoga, the less you may need to bend the knees over time.”

While acknowledging “great online platforms for yoga,” Campbell said the challenge is to know where to begin without some initial background knowledge.

“You can learn to do almost anything on the internet, but beginning a yoga practice without an experienced instructor giving

you feedback can set you up for injury,” she said. “Improper form can exacerbate or create an injury in the body.”

By attending a class, however, Campbell said a teacher can assist a beginner with proper alignment and other elements of yoga.

“In a class setting, the teacher can see you and use verbal or hands-on adjustments to keep you safe,” she said. “I always recommend that beginners come into a class in person.”

At Bending Bodhi Yoga, Campbell said, they offer several styles geared toward beginners, including a Beginner Series and Gentle Flow classes.

Another great option for beginners available at many yoga studios is restorative yoga.

“Restorative yoga is all about slowing down and opening your body through passive stretching,” she said. “During the long holds in restorative, your muscles are allowed to relax deeply. It’s a unique feeling because props, rather than your muscles, are used to support your body.”

Citing a variety of available styles for all levels, Campbell said the best way for an individual to determine what is best for him or her is to first speak with a teacher.

“Chat with a teacher about what your goals are so they can guide you to the best class for you,” she said.

CrossFit

CrossFit may not be the newest, trendiest workout, but if you’re looking for results, it can certainly be effective.

Nick Nuzzolo, owner of CrossFit Black Pearl in Hampton, said that CrossFit is technically defined as “a constantly varied, high-intensity, motivational movement.”

But this definition does not always work for him.

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8 which is why I just say CrossFit simply combines all the best aspects of fitness training,” he said.

He said CrossFit pulls in 10 components of fitness: cardiovascular, stamina, strength, flexibility, power, speed, coordination, agility, balance and accuracy.

As for how these components play out in workout regimens, he said, he does not offer preset programs.

“I like to keep things fresh and dynamic, and it changes every day,” he said. “It largely depends on the time of year and the ‘feel’ of the day. … You can go online and look up CrossFit workout programs, but I like to keep it fresh every day.”

CrossFit is not just for those who are athletically inclined either, as he said it can accommodate any goal for any person, regardless of current fitness levels.

“Whether they want to just get physically fit, lose a few pounds, or really push themselves, we can accommodate that with our program,” he said.

As with other many other forms of fitness today, he said CrossFit emphasizes building community as opposed to simply muscles.

“Everyone fits in, and this is one of the things that drew me to CrossFit training in the first place,” said Nuzzolo, noting that they see all age ranges and all kinds of people. “CrossFit just felt so comfortable and welcoming with people giving high-

fives and offering encouragement.”

He contrasted the CrossFit experience with what you can often expect to find in a traditional gym where “you see people with their headphones on.”

“One person is off by themselves working on one machine while someone else is off by themselves on another machine,” he said. “Gyms can be very isolating. CrossFit is a community. Everyone feels at home and at ease, and that makes it really unique.”

As for those still on the fence about CrossFit, Nuzzolo said it is important for people to keep an open mind.

“Too many people are getting their ideas from TV shows and commercials,” he said.

“What they see are professional athletes, and that is not our program. … If you have any interest, go ahead and talk to a CrossFit coach to get an idea of what we do.”

For Nuzzolo, the biggest part of his satisfaction is helping people of all ages achieve their goals through CrossFit. “The thing I love the most as a coach is seeing people progress,” he said. “I have seen 50-year-olds begin doing things they have not been able to do since they were in their 20s; it is really satisfying.”

He also loves CrossFit himself.

“Finishing a tough workout and feeling all that I have done is great,” he said. “It is not all that different from what people call a runner’s high.”

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Getting started on your fitness journey that is convenient and interesting, while also likely to meet your specific goals.

“Those with little exercise experience tend to make the mistake to think that all workouts are equal and that quantity — how many times a week — is the most important factor,” he said.

Noting the majority of individuals looking to add fitness after the new year will have the main objective to lose body fat, Gould said this goal necessitates strength training to build muscle for long-term success.

“Methods like yoga, spin, or aerobics have many benefits, such as increased flexibility, relaxation and cardiovascular health,” he said. “They are limited, though, in increasing bone density, improving metabolism, building strength, and increasing lean mass.”

Szelog added that other factors to consider include available time, previous health concerns and one’s age.

“Typically, one can begin with as little as 30 minutes per day and increase weekly until one is able to perform 45 to 60 minutes,” he said. “Depending on the type of training you are performing, daily exercise is perfectly fine, which could include a day of weight training followed by a day of cardiovascular exercise.”

If you are strength training at a moderate level, he said to be careful not to keep stressing the movements on a back-to-back basis.

“Your muscles need 36 to 48 hours to recover and rebuild,” he said.

For Gould, starting any exercise program begs one essential question: Why do you want to get fit in the first place? For some, he said it could be related to self-esteem, the desire to get stronger or lighter, or to secure a scholarship at a college. Others may be newly single or recently prescribed by their doctor to exercise.

“Knowing an individual’s ‘why’ is crucial, which is why I’ll find out what their motivation and inspiration is to work out,” he said.

“Focusing on that ‘why’ is going to keep them coming back. … Not losing sight of the reason why you started working out might help you keep it up.”

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Before beginning any exercise program, experts suggest some sort of screening and/or assessment with a professional. Matt Szelog, sports performance supervisor and athletic trainer at the Athletic Performance Center of Exeter Hospital, said it is always beneficial to first meet with a certified trainer or strength and conditioning specialist.

“They can easily figure out your strengths and weaknesses and if you should follow up with a health care professional for further testing,” he said. “What’s even better is that they can help guide you or design a specific program to fit your needs.”

At Fit Body Transformations, owner Pearla Phillips said they perform free functional movement screens for all clients. The screens, she said, enable people to increase the efficiency of — and, therefore, the results from — training.

“It is imperative to build a solid functional base for your body to perform at your best,” she said. “You can’t build a mansion on a shack foundation.”

She said by using the screen, they can find an individual’s weakest link and improve it.

“It will help accelerate your results and break through plateaus because of increased efficiency,” she said.

Without a screen, Phillips said, it is impossible for anyone to determine what exercises are right and wrong for one’s particular body.

“If you are not assessing, you are guessing,” she said.

Josh Gould of Seacoast Strength & Conditioning in Rye agrees and said such screenings help to promote safety and set the trainer and client on the most direct path to success.

“It’s necessary for us to know your reasons for starting, injury history, wants, needs, fears, concerns and how your body behaves in simple bio-mechanical assessments,” he said. “We also want to know how it performs in some baseline strength and conditioning tests.”

Without that information, he said one is “just trying things and hoping they work.”

As for a guiding principle on how to select a fitness program, Gould said to pick something

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PEOPLE AND PLACES

LORI PICARAZZI

OWNER OF GLOOM TO BLOOM DECORATING IN HAMPTON it. These makeovers lead to a re-bonding of client to home and I derive incredible satisfaction from this.

Anything about your work that you do not like?

I can’t think of anything that I dislike about my job. I am so blessed to be doing this work. It feels like a later life calling.

That sounds interesting. How did you get into this line of work?

Although I worked professionally for 28 years in the fields of social work and health care practice management, I also renDo you tend to be ovated six homes during busier in the summer Lori Picarazzi. Courtesy photo. this time, flipped propthan in the winter? erties and obtained my real I am actually busiestate license. You could say I have a pas- er in the winter and spring months. People sion for houses, particularly older ones that turn inward during these months. Because have a story to tell. they spend more time indoors at home, they tend to notice more of what they would like I understand you also do office make- to change about their space. Come May, overs and stage homes for real estate our focus often shifts to the outdoor patio sales. How challenging is that? or deck to see what can be done to improve I particularly enjoy office makeovers. that space.

Workplaces are often overlooked spaces that people don’t put enough energy into.

When not working, what do you do for These are places where valued employees fun? spend 40-plus hours per week of their lives My hobby has always been working on and they deserve to be in surroundings that houses. Now that I do this professionally, uplift them, energize them, but also pro- I think it’s time to cultivate a new hobby. vide a calming influence.

Are you from the Seacoast?

What are some examples of projects?

I was born and raised in upstate New I have done makeovers for staff loung- York but have lived in the Seacoast area for es or kitchens as part of employee 34 years now. I love it here but will always appreciation events, and these have been consider myself a New Yorker. huge successes. Staff have felt more valued and management felt a boost in overall What is your favorite part about living morale. How a company presents to out- here? side customers who may visit their facility Each season presents its own incrediis also a critical consideration. I begin each ble natural beauty. There is so little novelty of these initial consultations with the ques- in adult life that a change in seasons every tion, “What does the physical appearance three to four months brings about a rhythm of your company say to others?” A make- of beginnings and endings that I find reasover or just a sprucing up always flows suring. It’s also a blessing to live two miles from that question. from the most beautiful ocean sunrises I have ever seen.

What do you love the most about your job?

What is your favorite part about winters I love my clients. I feel so honored to on the Seacoast? be brought into the sacred space that is It gives me an excuse to have down time someone’s home and be asked to improve and stay cozy at home with my husband it. This requires a leap of faith and trust and my kitty cat in front of a roaring fire. from a client and I am always grateful for — Rob Levey

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SEACOAST SCENE | JANUARY 10 - 23, 2019 | PAGE 13

ADVENTURE

DAVE’S GARAGE

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What it is: Tokens Taproom is an arcade straight out of the 1980s, with two rooms filled to the brim with favorites such as Streetfighter, Centipede, Mortal Kombat, Time Crisis, Donkey Kong, pinball and many more classic hits from the arcade era. Tokens also has a bar with a variety of food and drink options. It is open from 4 p.m. until midnight Monday through Thursday; from 4 p.m. until 1 a.m. on Friday; from 11:30 a.m. until 1 a.m. on Saturday, and from 4 to 11 p.m. on Sundays. Minors are allowed to visit under supervision of a legal guardian on Saturdays from 11:30 a.m. until 3 p.m.

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What I did: A couple of weeks ago, a friend of mine told me about a place in Dover that was a unique combination of bar and old-school arcade straight out of the 1980s. Having missed the golden age of arcade heaven but always having had a profound interest in all things classic video games, I was all about checking this place out. I rounded up some of my friends, and we headed to Dover. We entered the taproom and made our way through the bustling entryway to order ourselves a couple of drinks before cashing in our dollars for tokens.

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Tokens Taproom in Dover. Photos by Andrew Clay.

I started my adventure by heading straight to Street Fighter, where my friends and I switched off in a semi-unregulated and very disorganized impromptu tournament before, after a couple of rounds, we decided to move on. Following Street Fighter, I made my way to my all-time favorite machine, Time Crisis, a game that I had fallen in love with after various trips to movie theaters growing up where they were set up to help kill time before each flick.

Embarrassingly, I only lasted a couple of minutes before accidentally shooting an explosive barrel and losing my last life.

Frustrated, I went to get another drink before my friend Chris invited me to play The House of the Dead with him. It did not go well. So I took to a game that I knew I would excel at. With fiery determination in my eye, I approached Duck Hunt, a game that I played on my older brother’s Sega growing up. Ducks and disks flew through the air, one after one exploding into oblivion, direct hit after direct hit.

I was on fire and in arcade heaven as I had finally found a game that I could succeed at. As the final round concluded, I was asked to shoot my initials into the record boards and I am proud to say that I am forever memorialized as being the fifth-best Duck Hunt player to ever wield the orange revolver — at that one particular machine, and only until someone knocks me off the leaderboard.

With the night coming to a close and tokens still rolling around in our cups, we spent the last remaining coins on a Simpsons game and pinball.

Who else would enjoy this: Tokens Taproom is a place to relive the glory days of arcade gaming. With so few located around the United States, it is rare to find a place so dedicated to replicating the authentic arcade experience. The thing to keep in mind is that Tokens Taproom is also a bar.

This means that, except for certain hours, it is limited to those 21 and older. This also means that toward the later hours of the night the rooms can get very crowded and very loud, and waiting for your favorite game might take a while. That being said, one thing that I found to be incredibly nice about Tokens was the bang for your buck. Five dollars’ worth of tokens lasted me the entire night, and in no way was I being frugal with my coins. Most machines run on a single token, which means guests can stretch their money to very easily last a couple of hours. Overall, Tokens Taproom lived up to my expectations. There was so much variety between games and plenty to do while waiting for the next machine to open up. I will certainly be returning in the near future to make sure my name still stands at the No. 5 spot on the Duck Hunt leaderboard.

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CAR TALK

‘Genius’ mechanic pinpoints source of thunking sound Dear Car Talk: Please settle this question for my daughter Abby and me. Many years ago I bought her a Toyota Solara for her high school graduation.

It was only a couple of

By Ray Magliozzi years old, with power everything. She loved it (Dad wins points!).

All went well for a couple of years. Then, suddenly, she started hearing a “thunking” sound in the rear of the car. She took it to her mechanic, and the two of them went for a test drive. They took a couple of corners, and the noise was quite apparent. He then said, “I think you have a golf ball banging around in your trunk.” Sure enough, that’s what caused the noise.

My daughter was quite impressed by the fact that he identified it as a golf ball. I, on the other hand, was not (Dad loses all previously earned points). My position is this: Anyone can tell the difference between a golfball sound (compact and dense-sounding, with a slight “thwack” to it) and say a tennis ball (soft, with a slight fuzzy greenish timbre), a baseball (a good “crack” like Ted Williams hit it with a bat) or a football (depending on if it was in Tom Brady’s car, which would be a slightly softer sound due to lower inflation

than the usual “thud”).

I maintain that in order to call this mechanic a “genius” like my daughter wants me to, he not only would have to identify the noise as coming from a golf ball, he would have to identify the ball’s make and number (like Titleist No. 2). Please give us the definitive answer so we can go back to talking to each other.

— John The guy’s pretty good, John. And even if he’s not a genius, he’s certainly watched a lot of reruns of “Columbo.” Here’s what likely happened: He heard something rolling around in the trunk. He probably tested his theory by taking a couple of sharp corners and seeing where the noise came from after each turn.

That allowed him to narrow it down, generically, to “ball.”

I mean, it could have been a can of Campbell’s chicken noodle soup that fell out of a shopping bag, but a ball moves across the trunk more quickly and evenly than a soup can, based on my previous soup-can diagnoses. From it’s sound and timbre — as you say — he probably could tell it was small, and of medium weight. And then he made an educated guess. What’s the most likely ball to be rolling around a trunk of somebody’s car? A golf ball that fell out of a golf bag, right? In fact, he’s probably had other customers who came in complaining about the same errant

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Dear Car Talk: I have a question about my 2003 Buick Regal. I’ve been a diesel mechanic for 40 years, and I’m now retired. I need to change the rack and pinion on my Buick, but I need some instructions. Every time I try to ask this question online, all I get are listings of places that sell the unit. I never get the answer I need.

Can you tell me where I can get instructions on how to replace the unit? — Bill Yeah, pretty smart ad placement by Steering Racks R Us, huh? My first suggestion would be to add the words “YouTube” to your search. YouTube has become populated with a ton of how-to videos, where amateur mechanics, plumbers, appliance repairers and brain surgeons happily show you how to do something very specific.

When searching, it’s often helpful to know

how many years your particular Regal was produced. In your case, that fourth generation Regal was made from 1997-2004. So any of those years should work. It also happened to be essentially the same car as the Chevy Lumina (R.I.P.), the Chevy Monte Carlo (R.I.P.), the Pontiac Grand Prix (R.I.P.) and the Oldsmobile Intrigue (R.I.P.). So if you can find videos on any of those models from those years, you’ll probably learn what you need to know.

From my experience, the only thing that’s at all tricky about replacing the rack and pinion on your car is that you have to lower the rear section of the subframe to get at it. So you might want to recruit a friend to provide an extra set of hands, and help you line things up.

That’ll make the job easier. Just pick someone you’re not that fond of, because the friendship will probably be over after this.

After you replace the rack, you’ll need to either reuse or replace your outer tie rod ends.

And once you do that, you’ll need an alignment. Otherwise, your rack and pinion will work great, but it’ll only drive you in circles.

It’s a job that’s within the grasp of an experienced weekend mechanic, Bill. But it might take a whole weekend, especially if you decide to tackle it alone. So make a bunch of sandwiches first.

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So, even if he’s not a genius, he’s an astute observer. He’s also honest. He could have said, “Oh, Abby, it sounds like your struts and struts mounts are all worn out. I’m going to have to keep it for a couple of days and it’s gonna cost you a thousand bucks.” But he didn’t. So I’d call him an excellent mechanic, John. And I’d call him a good guy. And I’d encourage Abby to call him whenever she has future car trouble.

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FOOD

AT FLIGHT COFFEE Flight Coffee of Dover (478 Central Ave., Dover) is more than just a café — it’s a community hot spot, a gathering place and a venue for all-ages live music, including open-mike nights.

The Scene caught up with owner Kelly Bower to chat about his favorite dish (hint: you won’t easily find it outside of New Jersey!), the community and which coffee you should order if you want a side of education with your caffeine.

How long has Flight Coffee been around?

It will be three years in February. My wife and I have owned it for about a year and a half. I work for IBM, my job is largely virtual, and I don’t think my kids understand what I do. I wanted to do something with my kids, something tangible with my family, around building and growing a business. I like Dover; I’ve always enjoyed the community and wanted to do something community-based and give back. Largely in life, people are focused on family and future, things like that, and this has given me a great opportunity to reconnect with art and music and just doing things for others.

What makes Flight Coffee unique?

It’s a community café. My goal when we bought it, I told the employees, “You guys are part of something special for this community.” This is a movement and this is going to grow, and it’s going to grow in the direction that the community and Dover want it to grow. I want

it to be an integral part of the community and a go-to place for people to get together, meet and spend time together. What makes us special is that it’s an organic place that’s for the community and full of the community — it just happens to have great coffee, great bagels, great food. People tell me why they spend their time at Flight, they like the interaction with the staff. They feel like they belong there, [like] we want them there.

What is your personal favorite dish?

It changes day to day, but today it’s the Jersey Pork Roll. It is Taylor pork roll from New Jersey. It is a New Jersey phenomenon! It’s a sliced meat product — we do it with egg and cheese on a soft roll. … You can’t get this in New Hampshire or anywhere near here; it’s really a Jersey thing. It’s pretty awesome. It’s greater than the sum of its parts.

What is a dish everyone should try?

Everyone should try a pourover. It’s one cup of coffee, perfectly brewed

SEACOAST SCENE | JANUARY 10 - 23, 2019 | PAGE 18

Flight Coffee Co. of Dover. Photos provided by Kelly Bower.

under exacting conditions, [made] just for that one customer. It gives the customer the experience of hanging out with the barista for the two to five minutes while it’s made and learning about the coffees: the single-origin coffees that we have and how they’re processed, why the different brewing methods are important, and what kind of extraction you can get. It’s a little tour of the coffee world, just by ordering a pourover. You’re going to take some time, get some education, connect with the barista. Those are the people who really get the true vibe of what we do, the ones who try the pourovers.

What is an essential skill to running a restaurant?

A willingness to listen. I feel like one

of the reasons Flight is successful is that we listen to what the community wants us to do, wants us to be, what they want to buy, what they want to do there. Some business owners aren’t willing to be flexible. … The willingness to listen and not be so focused on driving an agenda is one of the reasons we’ve more than doubled our business in the year since we’ve bought it.

What is your favorite part of being on the Seacoast?

The arts and music community is pretty vibrant. I’m largely talking about the people, not necessarily the institutions.

That’s one of the reasons I like the Seacoast — there’s a great right-brained type of vibe here.

— Alison Downs

FOOD

Smuttynose hosts Crackle and Hops Winter Festival

Slide down an inflatable toboggan, drink hot chocolate or beer, make s’mores over a fire pit and watch a live ice sculpting performance at Smuttynose Brewery’s Crackle and Hops Winter Festival on Saturday, Jan. 19, from 2 to 8 p.m. at 105 Towle Farm Road in Hampton.

Kourtney Auger, secretary of the Hampton Fire Fighters Charitable Organization, which will benefit from the proceeds of the event, said she is looking forward to meeting new people around the community and enjoying the casual environment.

“I anticipate that it’s going to be the sort of thing where people come, hang out around the bonfire, enjoy having a drink with a couple of friends, maybe talk with some people around the fire that you’ve never met before,” she said. “I envision it as having that town-square feel where a bunch of different people from the community are coming together and just hanging out. It’s a time to do something fun and meet your neighbors. It’s going to be a family event.”

Admission to the event is free for people of all ages and guests will find various activities around the Smuttynose campus. Food and drinks, including beer and spiked hot chocolate, or regular hot chocolate for those under 21, will be available for purchase, as will s’mores kits and tickets to ride on the 40-foot inflatable toboggan slide. VIP tickets are on sale for $30 and include two beer tickets, two hot chocolates (or one spiked hot chocolate), a s’mores kit, a koozie, a 9-inch pizza, front-of-the-line access to the beer tent, and 10 rides down the 40-foot inflatable toboggan slide.

There will be winter competitions with prizes as well as live ice sculpting and a chance to try Smuttynose’s newest Smuttlabs beer, a peanut butter stout. A DJ will be playing music throughout the event.

Proceeds go toward supporting the Hampton Fire Fighters Charitable Organization, who will also be in attendance. Guests are

welcome to speak with them at the information booth.

“Last summer at the barbecue, someone came up to us saying, ‘Hey, I heard you help local people when they’re struggling and in times of need. I know someone that needs help. Can you help them?’ By all means, we love it when people reach out to us. We can’t possibly know everyone that needs something, so we’re there to tell people what we do,” said Auger, “We want to be a presence and make sure that people know that we’re not just here to go on ambulance calls. We want to be involved in our community and we want to give back and to help out and this is one way that we do that.”

Smuttynose and The Hampton Fire Fighters Charitable Organization have worked together in the past to promote the idea of giving back to the community, according to Auger.

“Last August they did a barbecue; we worked with them to do that. They also reached out to help us with our toy bank drive that we had in November. We had a chili cookoff and Smuttynose came and cooked a couple of chilis for that. They put their beer on tap at Wally’s and donated one dollar for every beer that was sold back to our toy bank so we could buy toys for children in the community,” Auger said. “When they reached out again with this event in January we jumped at the opportunity.”

The Hampton Fire Fighters Charitable Organization will also be accepting donations and selling T-shirts at their information table throughout the event.

“We hope people come out and enjoy the event and continue to support both us and Smuttynose, as well as other businesses in the community,” said Auger. “We always like when we can meet townspeople before or aside from when we’re meeting them on an ambulance call.”

The organization was formed only a few years ago with the original intent of aiding fellow firefighters in need, but has since grown to serving community members and brother and sister stations across New England.

“We realized that there was nothing that served that niche of a community, so we raised it originally when someone in our department needed assistance and we started fundraising for him. After that need was gone, we realized that there will continue to be needs so we kept it going,” Auger said.

“We’ve done things like making donations when the Lawrence fires happened; if someone loses their home to a structure fire in town we might make a monetary donation to them. We do different things as a way to give back to our community.”

— Andrew Clay

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FOOD

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Now that I’ve discovered how easy it is to make risotto, I can’t stop adding it to our weekly dinner rotation. Last week I made a cheesy Parmesan risotto that I paired with chicken and broccoli. This week, since my sister is visiting, everything on the menu is vegan, and risotto is a perfectly simple dish to mix with some vegetables and call it dinner.

I followed the package directions on my box of arborio rice, substituting vegan butter and vegetable broth for dairy-based butter and chicken broth. Alternatively, risotto can be made with water as well. I found the risotto needed a bit more seasoning this time around, likely due to there being less salt in the vegetable broth than chicken broth (oh, and no cheese).

The concerning lack of cheese aside, this risotto was still pretty delicious, but what set it apart was the staggering amount of sautéed vegetables I added to make this a heartier dish. I was more or less flying by the seat of my pants when I made this dish, but I did find a recipe for vegan risotto online that followed a similar process.

The online recipe added vegan Parmesan “cheese” and white wine, but since I was just working with what I had in my pantry, I made do without either of those things.

To the risotto before combining with the vegetables, I added a generous amount of salt and pepper. For the vegetables, I chose to use what I had on hand, including a red and green pepper, tomato and onion. You could always make this a “fancier” dish and use asparagus and shallots and truffle oil, or some other similar combination. This version is decidedly less

Creamy Vegetable Vegan Risotto Recipe adapted from Minimalist Baker

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3 1/2 to 4 cups vegetable broth 2 tablespoons water (or oil), divided 1 small bundle asparagus (ends trimmed or 1 small bundle broccolini, stalks trimmed — we used both) 1 medium red bell pepper (seeds and stem removed, thinly sliced) 1/4 teaspoon each sea salt and black pepper 3/4 cup thinly sliced shallot 1 cup arborio rice 1/4 cup dry white wine (or sub more vegetable broth)

fussy and less difficult to make successfully without one of the vegetables turning too soft or staying too crunchy.

My one gripe with the finished product would have been the rather uniform texture. The rice still had a nice “bite” to it, as it was cooked al dente, but the texture of the cooked vegetables nearly matched.

I know it was poor timing on my part, but it’s certainly something I’ll take into consideration the next time I make this dish.

Overall, once I combined the seasoned vegetables with the risotto, I had a hearty and delicious dish that worked well as an entrée for my vegan sister, or a side for the rest of my family who opted to plate theirs with a side of steak.

— Lauren Mifsud

1/4 cup vegan Parmesan cheese (plus more for serving) To begin, cook the risotto according to the package directions on the arborio rice, using the vegetable stock and white wine, or water, as called for. Meanwhile, in a separate pan, sauté vegetables, adding salt and pepper to taste and/or other seasonings as desired; once cooked, set aside. Finish the risotto, adding salt and pepper to taste once removed from the heat, as well as any cheese you’d like.

Plate by combining the risotto and vegetable mixture before serving.

DRINK

2019: Beer resolutions

Make some New Year’s resolutions you can keep

I resolve to explore at least one new brewery each month. Right? This is doable and enjoyable. Nothing beats a trip to the brewery. You can expand your palate by sampling beers when they’re at their absolute freshest, and quite possibly get a tour. These need not be “new” breweries; I just mean new to you. So if you’ve never been to the Harpoon Brewery or Sam Adams, a visit to either of those counts just as well. But I am talking about actually going to the brewery, not just buying beer at a store or a bar — that’s perfectly fine but actually visiting a brewery is a different experience. Here are a few I’m aiming to visit over the next few months: Deciduous Brewing Co. in Dover, Kettlehead Brewing Co. in Tilton, Concord Craft Brewing in Concord and Earth Eagle Brewings in Portsmouth.

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Designer Labels & Accessories This Belgian tripel from Old Dominion Brewing Company scares me a little bit but I’m trying new things as part of my 2019 beer resolutions. Photo by Jeff Mucciarone.

ery so you can talk directly to the brewer.

Knowing more about the brews you like (and don’t like) will help guide you as you explore others. Beer stores can, frankly, be overwhelming these days. If you know you like IPAs with particular hop strains, seek them out. At the very least, it’ll make your shopping more trips more efficient.

Beyond all that, people are hyper-conscious of everything they put in their bodies I resolve to try at least one beer I these days, so you may as well know what’s think I won’t like each month. Times in your beer, too. change and tastes change. Ten years ago I was terrified of whiskey. Now I like it.

I resolve to take better beer notes. I’m Perhaps my taste buds will be more wel- not suggesting you have to write a fivecoming to brews I once disliked. I’ve tried paragraph essay every time you try a beer. to embrace sours and, while I would hard- But if you do try a new beer, and you love ly call sours a go-to for me, I appreciate it, take a few notes so you remember it. a good sour from time to time. I do like There are so many brews available today, the Sour Flour, a dry-hopped sour ale from it’s almost impossible to keep track withHenniker Brewing Co. out jotting some notes down or utilizing a Maybe you’re someone who says things handy app like Untappd. like, “I don’t drink stouts.” Make a resolution to try one new stout per month. I’m not Jeff Mucciarone is a senior account forcing you. I just know sometimes I get executive with Montagne Communications, too hung up on particular styles. Specifical- where he provides communications suply, I drink a lot of IPAs and a lot of stouts port to the New Hampshire wine and spirits and porters. So I’m resolving to try more industry. sours, Belgian-style brews and, well, brews with fruit in them.

I resolve to ask more questions. If you really like a beer, ask the bartender, or better yet the brewer what’s in it and how it’s made. The more you know about a particular brew, the more you’ll appreciate it. And it’ll give you another reason to visit a brew-

ea c

S

You signed up for a gym membership, didn’t you? You’ve been trying to sustain yourself on kale, almonds and bean sprouts since Jan. 1. Look, I know, 2019 is the year you develop those washboard abs. I’m right there with you.

Except I’m not. I’m living in reality. We both know come March 1 that gym membership will have fallen by the wayside.

Honestly, I hope you went month-to-month on that contract.

Let’s get real about New Year’s resolutions. I’m talking about resolutions you can actually keep — beer-based resolutions.

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What’s in My Fridge Geppetto Milk Stout by Schilling Beer Co. (Littleton): Sweet, rich and full of big coffee flavors — this is a perfect stout to enjoy on a cold winter night. At 6.3-percent ABV, it did have a little zip to it. Cheers!

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SEACOAST SCENE | JANUARY 10 - 23, 2019 | PAGE 22

Evening Online

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POP CULTURE BOOKS

Dreaming in Turtle, by Peter Laufer (St. Martin’s Press, 263 pages) Everyone has a turtle story, asserts journalist Peter Laufer in Dreaming in Turtle, billed by the publisher as a fascinating exploration into turtle culture around the globe.

Laufer’s story involves a rescue named Fred who lives in a box in his living room with a heating pad (so he won’t hibernate) and enjoys the occasional worm treat. Laufer acquired Fred because a Santeria priest in Cuba told him he needed to live with a turtle “for the good energy and for your health.”

Hilarity, or at least something interesting, we presume, will ensue.

But despite the whimsical title and the periodic updates of Good Ol’ Fred (one of which is titled “Fred Relieves Himself”), Dreaming in Turtle doesn’t deliver on its promise. A more honest title would have been 50 Ways to Kill a Turtle, given the narrative that at times approaches turtle snuff porn. Everyone may have a turtle story, but it often involves somebody’s lunch, or an ancient sacrificial rite to restore virility. Not for the benefit of the turtle.

Laufer, a professor at the University of Oregon, wants to raise awareness of the plight of turtles and tortoises, which, like everything else on the planet, are apparently on the brink of extinction despite being one of our closest links to dinosaurs, and one of the hardiest and longest-lived species. Those hard shells may protect them from coyotes and alligators but don’t deter their No. 1 predator, humans, who desire turtle blood for sexual potency, turtle flesh for soup, and tortoise shells for guitar picks, among other things.

Reasonably, before inviting the reader to join the ranks of turtle conservationists like British billionaire Richard Branson (who keeps free-range endangered tortoises on his private Caribbean island), Laufer has to evoke sympathy for the modern turtle’s plight, hence the turtle snuff stories that populate the book with disturbing frequency. We may be living in an age of technological marvels, but there are still places are on Earth where priests bite the heads off turtles in religious rites, and where butchers carve live turtles because the meat “tastes fresher” that way.

And when turtles aren’t dying, they’re suffering, at farms where they “try to swim in Tupperware so small there’s nowhere for them to go” or at Asian markets where they’re jammed in plastic laundry tubs without food.

Even the everyman turtle stories that Laufer collects, the gauzy childhood memories, usually end badly for the little turtles that were common pets before the FDA banned them because they carry salmonella.

And even when people actively try to help

them, turtles often wind up dead or unhappy, as in Arizona, where protected tortoises are being relocated to enable solar farms, with dubious results.

Still, turtles rarely show up as a headline on the The Dodo (“Watch heartwarming video of grateful turtle reunited with owner” said no one ever), and snapping turtles are still so plentiful in Louisiana that wildlife officials encourage their harvest for turtle soup. “The swamp is our pantry,” one Cajun chef tells Laufer.

The turtles’ cause is not helped by their lack of charisma, and Good Ol’ Fred notwithstanding, they don’t respond to names, no matter how long you keep them as pets.

As one veterinarian tells the author, they are “mysterious, cold animals” and people tend to keep them for novelty, not for companionship like other pets. (So many people pluck desert tortoises off highways in the West that it’s believed that there are more in captivity in backyards than in the wild.)

Dreaming in Turtle has many “well, how about that?” moments; especially for those of us not conversant in reptile. (Who knew, for example, that there is a thriving business called Ship My Reptile?) Still, the book at times seem thin, its content phoned in. The author lists 21 other books he wrote or cowrote, including Forbidden Creatures: Inside the World of Animal Smuggling and Exotic Pets, and Dreaming in Turtle feels rushed and derivative of other reporting.

But amid the turtle eulogies there occasionally shines a gem of a story, like that of the two inmates in Washington state who, as part of their rehabilitation, are assigned to care for sick pond turtles picked up by the state Department of Fish and Wildlife. “It gives me a sense of purpose. Something to do with my time. Something to get involved with. Something I cherish because as long as it’s got a heartbeat, it’s a life,” one inmate says.

Finally, a turtle story with heart and a presumably happy ending, although it didn’t poke its head out of the water until past the halfway point of the book.

It’s unclear who the intended audience is for this book; for animal lovers, there are many images they’d rather not have in their heads, and the people who intentionally run over turtles in the road (we know you’re out there; studies have been done on this) won’t care, if they even read.

Laufer succeeds, however, in eliciting sympathy for the creatures, and if, contrary to his claim, you don’t have a turtle story, you’ll have plenty after two hours with this book.

B- — Jennifer Graham

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An upcoming show at a Salisbury Beach nightclub is unique in the ever-growing world of tribute acts. Rather than mimic a single band’s sound, it relives a chapter from one of heavy metal’s headiest years: 1984, when Ozzy Osbourne was a major solo star touring the world with Mötley Crüe, a band on the rise.

In a cool twist, one guy leads both tribute bands, Ozzmosis and Theatre of Crüe.

Switching from “Too Fast for Love” and “Shout at the Devil” to “Crazy Train” and “Iron Man” with just a costume change is quite a stunt, but singer Mark Lavoie is a pro; he began doing the doppelgänger rocker bit over 20 years ago.

Nailing the duality is hard but worth it, Lavoie insists.

“Learning the Ozzy stuff was easy compared to going out as Vince and then getting into character as Ozzy,” he said in a recent phone interview. “It ups the ante for audiences to see two completely different tributes that actually used to play together back in the day. It has really enhanced the show. ... The Crüe pumps the audience up; Ozzy comes out and finishes the night.”

Lavoie is pretty convincing as the exBlack Sabbath front man.

“The best compliments that I’ve ever received were about the mannerisms and stage presence; I’ve heard people say it’s like seeing the real thing,” he said. “That came from master studying, just watching everything in videos over and over and then getting the walk, the hair ... it took quite a while. I’m now three years in, and it’s a pretty solid performance.”

Backing him are veterans of the genre — drummer Mark George is a one-man Monsters of Rock, playing in Black Sabbath, Iron Maiden, Whitesnake and Deep Purple tribute bands. Lavoie, though, is sticking with Ozzy and Vince, the latter a role he took up last June.

“This actually takes up a considerable amount of time,” he said. “I only play out twice a month, while the drummer is every weekend roughly. ... I was in a the Sabbath tribute with him for a little while, but it was just too much to carry.”

Musically, Ozzmosis hews closely to the period when guitarist Randy Rhoads was in Osbourne’s band, with guitarist Mike Rodenbaugh playing his parts; bassist Chris Vadnais rounds out the group.

“That was the most popular era,” Lavoie said. “Although we do everything, from his first solo record to as far back as Black Sabbath; there are always three or four of those songs sprinkled into the mix, which always goes over very well with the crowd.”

Ozzmosis. Courtesy photo.

Lavoie got into music at age 15, playing originals and a few covers in a band called Flight during the 1980s. Around that time he joined a Rush tribute band. At 27 he retired to start a family.

“At one point in my life I thought I’d be a rock star,” he said with a wry laugh. “That’s not how things work out all the time, but to come back 20 years later and to be able to go to nightclubs and have people show up and care, it’s fantastic.”

There’s a lot more work compared to his early experiences, when singing and playing convincing covers were enough.

“When I came back into the scene, it had changed quite a bit,” Lavoie said. “Now everything is about the look and the sound.

Full makeup, that is the way. … At this point now, costume-wise I have studied the videos. We try to get it as close to the real Ozzy show as we can.”

That Osbourne continues to tour doesn’t trouble Lavoie much.

“I have gone to see Ozzy when he came out with Black Sabbath, but concerts are so expensive, and when you’re someone that’s supporting a couple of kids, it’s not easy ... to get out and spend that kind of money,” he said. “To be able to go down to the nearby pub and see the next best thing, for some people that may be all they get. If you like the music or a particular band, it’s another avenue for people who cannot get out and see the real deal.”

— Michael Witthaus Ozzmosis (Ozzy Osbourne Tribute) & Theatre of Crüe (Motley Crüe tribute) When: Saturday, Jan. 12, 9 p.m.

Where: Uncle Eddie’s Oceanside Tavern, 8 Ocean Front South, Salisbury More: facebook.com/pg/ozzmosisMA

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ONE appetizer, chowder and/or entrée may be ordered for every Dinner Salad Bar purchased for $12.99. Dollar Menu items cannot be ordered for “take-out.” We cannot package anything ordered from the Dollar Menu (besides any “leftovers” from items you started but could not finish) to take out of the restaurant with you. Expires 2/28/2019

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BEACH BUM FUN JONESIN’ CROSSWORDS BY MATT JONES

“Birthday Holiday” Across 1 Palestinian president 6 Indira Gandhi’s son 11 Actor Shepard of “Idiocracy” 14 Ben Stiller’s mom Anne 15 Edit out

16 Brand of pads 17 Scottish singer born 12/25/1954 19 Pince-___ glasses 20 Do, for instance 21 Island instrument 22 Porgy’s love

24 Conversation 26 Dish with peanut and lime garnish 29 It’s been alternately called a “cash point” or “bankomat” 30 One who takes things the wrong way?

33 “___ Lang Syne” 34 Not so puzzling 35 Cold storage?

36 Canadian world leader born 12/25/1971 39 Juan ___ de León (Fountain of Youth seeker) 40 Did penance 41 Put ___ signal 42 Citrus soft drink introduced in the 1960s 43 Scott Joplin song 46 Hang on the line

12/20/18

48 “An Inconvenient Truth” presenter 50 Princess who became a general 51 High point 53 Tahiti, e.g.

54 Stationery store purchase 56 American actress born 12/25/1949 59 “Many years ___ ...”

60 “Washington Journal” network 61 “___ ear and out the other” 62 Blow away 63 Actor ___ William Scott 64 Knight’s mount

18 Bela of monster roles 23 Completely fake 25 Speak before a crowd 26 2000 Alejandro Iñárritu drama “Amores ___” 27 Baseballer Felipe, Matty, or Jesus 28 Promising words 31 Where 100 is 4 32 Midler of “Beaches” 34 Word before artist, clause, or room 35 Best-case 36 Soup du ___ 37 Up to this point 38 Opens a bottle Down 39 Okra portion 1 Dresden Dolls lead vocalist 42 Crème de ___ (strawberry Palmer liqueur) 2 1984 marathon gold medalist Joan 43 Tanner of ‘70s-’80s tennis 3 Not a big chicken 44 Garfield’s girlfriend 4 “The Little Mermaid” heroine 45 Got overexcited over niche pop 5 Enclosure to an ed. culture, with “out” 6 Need a bath 47 Hockey pucks, e.g.

7 Obama education secretary 49 Gargantuan Duncan 51 Strong ___ ox 8 It’s somehow National Soup 52 Loretta played by 56-Across Month, for short 54 Print maker 9 Line on a weather map 55 Id’s counterpart 10 Perturbed 57 Upscale hotel amenity 11 Longtime Dolphins coach 58 Circumference-to-diameter 12 Prop for Paul Bunyan ratios 13 W’s successors? ©2019 Jonesin’ Crosswords

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SEACOAST SCENE | JANUARY 10 - 23, 2019 | PAGE 26

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BEACH BUM FUN HOROSCOPES

By Holly, The Seacoast Area's Leading Astrologer

• Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Mercury is in retrograde. But that won’t do anything to help you.

• Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): I didn’t forget about you. I just got bored and lost interest.

• Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Don’t expect to understand what’s going on around you.

In fact, if you think you understand, something’s gone horribly wrong.

• Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Step back and envision the big picture. This will remind you how vast the universe is and what an insignificant part you play in it.

• Aries (March 21-April 19): If at first you don’t succeed, let’s hope that you’re not trying to skydive.

• Taurus (April 20-May 20): Silence is golden. And duct tape is silver.

• Gemini (May 21-June 20): You are unique — just like everyone else!

• Cancer (June 21-July 22): If everything goes well this week, clearly you’ve overlooked something.

• Leo (July 23-Aug. 22): If faith is believing without seeing, then your father must have really believed in you, since he walked out when you were five years old.

• Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Don’t be afraid to ask for help. I hear the lunatic asylums around here are pretty good!

Something for Every Season

• Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Don’t let the past limit your future. Forget about how your third-grade teacher said you’d never amount to anything, even if she’s been right thus far.

• Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20): Where there’s smoke, there’s fire. And where there’s fire, it’s at your house because you left the stove on this morning.

For this edition’s horoscopes, Holly received help from students in the Media Writing course at UNH-Manchester, including Eli Chinburg, Justin Cummings, Sam Lake, Norah Magliocchetti, Jamie Miniervi, Susan Orr, and Andrew Simons.

SUDOKU

Fill in the grid so that every row, every column, and every 3x3 box contains the digits 1 through 9. Answers will appear in next week's paper.

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SEACOAST SCENE | JANUARY 10 - 23, 2019 | PAGE 27

BEACH BUM FUN ROCKANDROLLCROSSWORDS.com BY TODD SANTOS

PUZZLES BESIDE YOU Across

1. Sing/songer Lisa that did ‘Stay’ 5. Historic and now defunct New York venue 9. Alice In Chains song off self-titled album (3,2) 14. Like unoccupied studio 15. Fiction Plane ‘It’s __ __’ (1,3)

16. Herman’s Hermits ‘A Must To __’ 17. Roger Glover ‘Old Blind __’ 18. Guitars are put in gig ones 19. ‘95 Radiohead album ‘The __’ 20. ‘I Still Believe’ singer when Mariah was backup for her (6,1,5) 23. “This gun’s for __, even if we’re just dancing in the dark” 24. ‘It Might Be You’ Stephen

48. Don Henley ‘Take A Picture __ __’ (2,4) 50. ‘__ I Loved You...But I Lied’ 28. Weezer’s ‘___- The Sweater Michael Bolton Song’ 51. “Singer/band” of ‘The Cutter’ 31. “Please believe that it’s true, __ I 57. Everclear ‘Fire ___ Song’ love you” Styx 60. Led Zep ‘Living Loving __ (She’s 33. ‘No Regrets’ Midge Just A Woman)’ 34. Whitney Houston smash that got 61. What Queen might do to ‘The her choked up? (2,9) Dust’ 36. Jimmy Barnes ‘Working Class __’ 62. Type of pepper, to bassist Flea 37. Additional Built To Spill song?

63. Martina McBride ‘To Know Him 38. Zac Brown might dip one in, to __ __ Love Him’ (2,2) check water 64. Hillsong United ‘Shout ___ God’ 39. Til Tuesday bassist/singer Aimee 65. British ‘Crusader’ heavy met40. ‘01 Stone Temple Pilots album al band ‘Shangri-La __ Da’ 66. American Graffiti song ‘__ Angel’ 41. 80s SoCal punks (5,6) 67. Matchbook Romance ‘Say It Like 45. CocoRosie ‘Honey Or __’ You __ It’ 46. Procul Harum ‘__ Street Blues’ 47. Mosh pit victim did this, with his Down wound back to health 1. One might get caught in a mosh 2. What ‘That Smell’ was about?

3. ‘Ex’s And Ohs’ King 4. ‘01 Robert Cray album ‘Shoulda __ __’ (4,4) 5. Justin Timberlake song about nightclub stage show, perhaps 6. Folky Norman 7. Shows 8. ‘Miss Teen USA’ __ Kissers In The World 9. ‘Shock The Monkey’ Peter 10. Simon and Garfunkel song played when things end?

11. Producer Fleming 12. 80s concert sensation ‘Live __’

12/20/18

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TOILETRY ITEMS (8 OZ.) OR TRAVEL SIZE - NO AEROSOL CANS • Chap Stick • Hand Sanitizer • Deodorant • Tylenol • Apsrin • Razors • Eye Drops • Bug Wipes • Inner Soles • Foot Powder • Toothpaste/Brushes • Sun Screen • Handi Wipes • Flip Flops • White Socks (Mid Calf for Boots) FOOD ITEMS - INDIVIDUALLY PACKED TO SHARE • Cookies • Nuts • Trail Mix • Pop Tarts • Mircowave Popcorn • Coffee (1lb) • Gum • Beef Jerky • Small Peanut Butter • Dried Fruit • Raisins • Granola Bars • Crystal Light (Etc.) On the Go Drink Packets • Freeze Pops • Slim Jims FUN STUFF FOR THE TROOPS • Deck of Cards • Small Checkers • Small Nerf Balls • Rubik Cubes • Yoyos-Duncan • Small Chess Sets •Footballs/Soccerballs • Small Card Games ITEMS THAT CANNOT BE SENT Any Food Items Containing Pork • Adult Books or Films

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SEACOAST SCENE | JANUARY 10 - 23, 2019 | PAGE 28

13. ‘Tears’ Force __ 21. Sang ‘I Like It’ in ‘89 22. ‘Winner Takes It All’ 70s pop band 25. Howard Jones ‘___ Lib’ 26. XTC might have one with a lemon 27. What songsmith did to paper 28. “I __ __ love her, but I had to kill her” (4,2) 29. ‘00 Metallica ‘S&M’ hit ‘__ __ Clover’ (2,4) 30. Dennis DeYoung ‘___ Moon’ 31. 50s legend Pat 32. Waylon Jennings ‘Working Without __ __’ (1,3) 35. What Joel Madden & Nicole Richie are 39. Arctic Monkeys song off their first album (5,3) 41. ‘Wrong’ __ __ Chains (5,2) 42. Smashing Pumpkins ‘91 album 43. Longpigs song that goes forever? (2,3,2) 44. To crush the solo, slang 49. Lionel Richie “__, is it me you’re looking for?”

50. Penthouse star hotel room 52. Bypass contract w/alias 53. The Morning Of ‘Pilot To __’ 54. Taylor Swift song that’s hers?

55. ‘All I Could Do Was Cry’ jazz singer James 56. Like Arcade Fire’s ‘Bible’ 57. Rappers (abbr) 58. ‘Hunting High And Low’ band (hyph) 59. ‘98 Cat Power album ‘Moon __’ © 2019 Todd Santos

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NEWS OF THE WEIRD BY ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION

Regifted?

Rakhi Desai of Houston didn’t think much at first of the gift she brought home from a white elephant party in midDecember — a brown stuffed bear with a stitched-on heart. As she looked it over later, Desai noticed the words “Neptune Society” stitched on its foot “and then I started to feel, and it’s almost like little pebbles or rocks” inside, she told KTRKTV. That’s when it hit her: The bear was filled with someone’s cremated remains.

The friend who brought the bear to the gift exchange got it at an estate sale, so Desai called the Neptune Society, hoping to reunite the bear with the family it belongs to, but the organization doesn’t track the bears. However, there is a name on the bear’s tag, and Desai is hoping to find the owner through that. “(T)his bear is very special to somebody and belongs in somebody’s family,” she said.

Weird roundup

last person ever charged in Canada with “pretending to practice witchcraft.” On Dec. 11, Butch, whose nickname is the White Witch of the North, was charged under Section 365 of the Criminal Code for demanding money in return for lifting a curse. Two days later, that law was repealed. Marc Depatie, spokesperson for the Timmons police force, said Butch gave a customer “a sense of foreboding that a dreadful thing was about to happen to their family ...” But Butch denies the charge, saying other psychics framed her.

“People proclaimed me a witch here and gave me a nickname, but I’m not a witch.

I’m a psychic,” she told CBC News.

Butch is scheduled to appear in court on Jan. 22.

People different from us

Asparagus is healthy and delicious.

But for 63-year-old Jemima Packington of Bath, England, the columnar vegetable is much more: Packington is an asparamancer, a person who can foretell the future by tossing the spears into the air and seeing how they land. “When I cast the asparagus, it creates patterns and it is the patterns I interpret,” Packington said. “I am usually about 75 to 90 percent accurate.” In fact, out of 13 predictions she made for 2018, 10 of them came true.

What’s in store for 2019? Packington tells Metro News that England’s women’s soccer team will win the World Cup; “A Star Is Born” will win an Oscar; and fears over Brexit will be largely unfounded. Oh, and asparagus will see an all-time high in sales.

On Christmas Day, Deadspin.com shared a “verbatim” list from the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission of emergency room visits paid by Americans who inserted items into various body parts, and shouldn’t have. An edited sampling: Into the ear: “Popcorn kernels in both ears, ‘feeds her ears because her ears are hungry’”; “Was cleaning ear with Q-Tip, accidentally walked into a wall, pushed Q-Tip into ear”; “Placed crayon in ear on a dare.” Into the nose: “Sneezed and a computer keyboard key came out right nostril, sneezed again and another one almost came out”; pool noodle; piece of steak. Into the throat: mulch; “Swallowed a quarter while eating peanuts”; Overreactions plastic toy banana.

Alarmed neighbors in Perth, Australia, called police after hearing a child screamLikely story ing and a man repeatedly shouting, “Why Vanessa Elizabeth Helfant, 38, of don’t you die?!” on Jan. 1, according to Knoxville, Tennessee, floated a “dog the Evening Standard. Multiple units of bites man” defense at her DUI hearing officers arrived at the property, only to on Dec. 13, arguing that several parked learn that the unnamed man, an extreme cars struck her on March 25, 2017. The arachnophobe, had been trying to kill a jury, however, didn’t buy her story after spider. His wife confirmed to police that hearing evidence: Witnesses at the scene her child had been screaming, and her followed Helfant to her destination, and husband apologized to police for the conwhen officers arrived and knocked on the fusion. The spider didn’t survive. door, Helfant called 911 to report people knocking on her door. WATE reported Weapon of choice that she eventually admitted that she had Rogelio Tapia, 26, was arrested in Des drunk half a pint of vodka and smoked Moines, Iowa, on Dec. 31 after a dismarijuana. Helfant, who had no prior pute at a QuikTrip around 3 a.m. The offenses, was convicted and faces at least store clerk and witnesses told police 48 hours in jail and her license will be Tapia chased the clerk around the store suspended for a year. and assaulted him with a banana after the clerk tried to intervene in a domestic sitWhich witch? uation. According to KCCI, Tapia caused Tiffany Butch, 33, of Timmins, Ontar- about $1,000 in damage; he was charged io, Canada, may go down in history not with assault and third-degree criminal for her psychic gifts, but for being the mischief.

SEACOAST SCENE | JANUARY 10 - 23, 2019 | PAGE 30

Bright idea

If super-sharp shears snipping near your ears isn’t enough of a rush, you might want to visit Madrid, Spain, and the salon of Alberto Olmedo, who uses ninja swords and blowtorches to cut hair. Claiming his approach is inspired

by Renaissance tradition, Olmedo told Euronews that swords allow a hairdresser to cut hair from both sides of the head at once, resulting in a more even finish. He started perfecting the skill when he became “disillusioned with scissors.”

Olmedo also offers a cut with claws worn on the ends of his fingers, and plans are in the works to bring lasers into his work.

Armed and clumsy

Despite a flood of warnings from law enforcement about the dangers of shooting celebratory gunfire into the air on New Year’s Eve, an unnamed Kansas City, Kansas, man just couldn’t resist. As he prepared to head outside at midnight with his .22-caliber handgun, he “sat the gun down in the couch (and) accidentally shot himself in the stomach,” tweeted Police Chief Terry Ziegler. The Kansas City Star reported Ziegler’s department

conducted a “tweet-along” during the evening, with multiple reports of shots fired — so many that at 11:50 p.m., officers headed to a parking garage to take cover from the bullets that were expected to rain down at midnight. At 12:01 a.m., the department tweeted, “Gunfire EVERYWHERE.” Thankfully, no injuries were reported in the city as a result of the merrymaking.

Great art!

You’ve seen photo books and calendars depicting swaddled infants surrounded with flowers. In Irmo, South Carolina, on Dec. 29, photographer Stephanie Smith re-created the look using her high school friend Nicole Ham, according to FOX13 News. Ham, who is “336 months old,” was swaddled in a pink blanket and wore a giant gold bow on her head as she lay within a circle of garland and flowers. A sign next to her read: “Loves — champagne. Hates — dating in 2018. Go Tigers!” “We couldn’t keep a straight face,” said Smith, adding that she and Ham are already brainstorming ideas for future funny photo shoots.

Visit newsoftheweird.com.

PET OF THE WEEK Frannie is a super sweet tiger cat. She’s pretty overwhelmed here at the NHSPCA in Stratham and is having a hard time adjusting to being in the shelter. She’s 15 years old and is understandably confused and scared of her new circumstances. She was brought to the shelter because her owner became ill and moved into an assisted living facility. Frannie spends most of the time hiding in the safety of her bed, so she’s been overlooked by potential adopters. Frannie loves to be scratched under the chin and will purr her appreciation really loudly. Though she is considered a senior, she is in good health and still has many years of wonderful companionship to offer. Like all the animals available for adoption at the New Hampshire SPCA Frannie is spayed, micro-shipped and up to date on all her vaccines.

Visit nhspca.org.

GREAT FAMILY FUN FOR ALL AGES!

S E A COA S T H E L I CO P T E R S FOR THE CONSISTENT ACHIEVEMENT OF HIGH RATINGS FROM TRAVELERS!

Isles of Shoals tours now available!

603-373-8743

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