September 2018 by San Diego Jewish Journal

SEPTEMBER 2018 | Elul 5778 â&#x20AC;¢ Tishrei 5779

HIGH HOLIDAY LISTINGS How Should We Celebrate the New Year? JERUSALEM ZOO in San Diego

2 SDJewishJournal.com | September 2018

september 5 – 30 By Noël Coward Directed by Rosina Reynolds A socialite novelist, an eccentric medium, an unforgiving ex-wife and a shrewish spouse create supernatural hijinks in this world-class comedy. You are summoned for an otherworldly evening of theatre overflowing with wit, sophistication and effervescent fun.

october 17 – november 11 WEST COAST PREMIERE By Jeffrey Hatcher Directed by David Ellenstein Three men claim to be the missing Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson is called upon to do some sleuthing. Prepare yourself for a fast-paced, thrilling, and suspenseful story that will keep you guessing.

JANE AUSTEN UNSCRIPTED SEPTEMBER 17 @ 7:30PM Impro Theatre creates an entire world of love-struck girls, brooding noblemen and charming cads, and although hearts are sure to be broken, true love will win out in the end.

HOME FRONT BY WARREN LEIGHT SEPTEMBER 24 @ 7:30PM (FREE READING) NORTH COAST REP

From the playwright who wrote Tony Award winning Side Man (on Broadway), Home Front tells the story of an interracial love affair between an African-American solider and a white woman that begins the night World War II ends.

tuesday night comics SEPTEMBER 25 @ 7:30PM

6:30PM HAPPY HOUR — $3 BEER & FREE APPETIZERS

Hosted by MARK CHRISTOPHER LAWRENCE, San Diego Critic’s Circle’s Outstanding Actor of the Year. The funniest night of comedy in San Diego! Rated R

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B"H

THE HIGH HOLIDAYS ARE COMING UP

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"May you be written and sealed in the Book of Life." 4 SDJewishJournal.com | September 2018

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Elul 5778 • Tishrei 5779 | SDJewishJournal.com 5

Your Ride to High Holy Days Services is a Phone Call Away Free door-to-door transportation for older adults 60+ from your home to your synagogue and back! Participating Synagogues Congregation Beth Am Ohr Shalom Congregation Beth El Temple Adat Shalom Congregation Beth Israel

Temple Emanu-El Congregation Dor Hadash Tifereth Israel Ner Tamid Temple Solel

RSVP by September 4, 2018. Serving 32 zip codes. New Riders: (858) 637-3210 Current Riders: (858) 637-7320

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On the Go is a program of Charitable Adult Rides and Services (CARS) and is operated by Jewish Family Service of San Diego.

6 SDJewishJournal.com | September 2018

Elul 5778 â&#x20AC;¢ Tishrei 5779 | SDJewishJournal.com 7

September 2018

HIGH HOLIDAYS:

T Elul 5778 â&#x20AC;˘ Tishrei 5779

Reference our High Holiday listings for a schedule of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur services. Throughout the listings, find recollections of favorite holiday memories from members of the community.

FEATURE: The San Diego Zoo held its annual

luncheon once again to celebrate another successful youth exchange with the Jerusalem Zoo.

8 SDJewishJournal.com | September 2018

HIGH HOLIDAYS: From pomegranates to tzimmes, we appreciate the many different traditions of Rosh Hashanah.

HIGH HOLIDAYS:

The history of challah is deliciously interesting and about more than just bread.

THrow an epic 66 bar/bat mitzvah

THEATER:San Diego Repertory Theatre presents

"FUN HOME."

MONTHLY COLUMNS 12 The Starting Line 22 Personal

Development and Judaism 24 Israeli Lifestyle 26 Examined Life 28 Religion 88 Advice

Around Town 20 Our Town 18 The Scene 84 What's Goin On In Every Issue 14 Mailbag 16 What’s up Online 82 Diversions 86 News

Also in This Issue 60 HIGH HOLIDAYS

Recipes with apples and honey.

62 FEATURE CJC's

Joyce Forum Short Film Festival.

64 FOOD Baked

apples in pastry with homemade vanilla ice cream.

73 HIGH HOLIDAYS

How should one celebrate the New Year?

74 FEATURE Jewish

community leader Marsha Berkson.

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76 HIGH HOLIDAYS Find the serenity in Yom Kippur.

79 HIGH HOLIDAYS

Reflections on Rosh Hashanah.

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CALL YOUR SPECIAL EVENTS TEAM AT 619.881.4408 OR EMAIL HEATHER_ULLOA@DAVEANDBUSTERS.COM Elul 5778 • Tishrei 5779 | SDJewishJournal.com 9

You choices, Youare aregoing goingtotohave havetoto make some choices, make some choices, but alone. them alone. butyou youdon’t don’thave havetotomake make them alone.

Changing can bebe difficult butbut wewe areare with youyou every stepstep of the the way.way. you every step of Changingjobs jobs can difficult with every of way. the • Retirement Plans Retirement Plans • Life/Disability Insurance Life/Disability Insurance • Investment Strategies Investment Strategies

You some choices, Youare aregoing goingtotohave havetotomake make some choices, but have alone. butyou youdon’t don’t havetotomake makethem them alone. www.sdjewishjournal.com September 2018 •butElul 5778/Tishrei 5779 Changing jobs can bebe difficult wewe are with youyou every step of the way.way. Changing jobs can difficult but are with every step of the

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R Liber, CFP® Investments jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com Jeffrey Managing Directorjeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com Gina Grimmer Gina Gina Grimmer Financial Consultant Grimmer Alissa Alissa W W addell addell Managin gaddell Director-Inves tments CA W Insurance Lic #0C28496 Alissa Alissa W addell Financial Consultant Gina Grimmer Grimmer CA Insurance Lic #O178195 Financial Consultant Grimmer Financial Consultant AVP AVP -‐ R -‐ R egistered egistered C lient lient AA A ssociate ssociate Gina AVP AVP -‐ R -‐ R egistered egistered CCC lient lient A ssociate ssociate jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com CA Insurance Lic #0C28496 CA Insurance Lic gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com CA CA nsurance nsurance ic ic ##O178195 0I18483 Financial Consultant Financial Consultant CA Lic #O178195 CAFinancial Insurance Lic CA iinsurance LL#O178195 ic #0I18483 0I18483 CA iiInsurance nsurance LLic ##0I18483 Gina Grimmer Consultant jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com Gina Grimmer alissa.waddell@wfadvisors.com alissa.waddell@wfadvisors.com gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com alissa.waddell@wfadvisors.com alissa.waddell@wfadvisors.com Registered Client Associate

• Retirement Plans Retirement Plans • Life/Disability Insurance Life/Disability PUBLISHERSInsurance • Mark Edelstein and Dr. Mark Moss • Investment Strategies Investment Strategies

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF • Brie Stimson ASSISTANT EDITOR • Jacqueline Bull ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR • Eileen Sondak CREATIVE DIRECTOR • Derek Berghaus OFFICE MANAGER • Jonathan Ableson INTERN • Julia Bernicker 858-532-7904 858-532-7904

12531 High Bluff Dr, Suite 12531 High Bluff Dr, Suite 12531 High Bluff Dr, Suite 400 12531 High Bluff Dr, Suite 400 12531 High Bluff 12531 Dr,High Suite Bluff 400 Dr,400 Suite 400 12531 High Bluff 12531 Dr,High Suite Bluff 400 Dr,400 Suite 400 12531 High Bluff Dr, Suite 400 12531 High Bluff Dr, Suite 400 12531 High Bluff Dr, Suite 400 12531 HighDiego, Bluff Dr, Suite 400 Diego, CA 92130 92130 Diego, CA 92130 San Diego, CA 92130 San H Diego, CA San 92130 Diego, San Diego, CA San 92130 Diego, 12531 12531 H igh igh BSan luff DD D rive, rive, SSTE STE 44400 00 San Diego, CA 92130 San Diego, CA 92130 12531 12531 HSan High igh BBluff Bluff luff D rive, rive, STE TE 4CA 00 00 92130 12531 12531 HSan High igh BBluff luff DCA D rive, rive, STE STE 44CA 00 00 92130 San Diego, CA 92130 San Diego, CA 92130 858-523-7913 858-523-7913 CONTRIBUTING WRITERS 858-523-7913 858-523-7913 San San D Diego, iego, CCCA A 9858-523-7913 2130 12531 High Bluff Drive, STE 400 12531 High Bluff Drive, STE 400 San San D 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Director-Inves tments Vice President-Investments Senior Vice President-Investments g Director-Inves tments Managin ggD tments Senior Senior VVCA V ice ice PSenior President-‐ resident-‐ IInvestments IInvestments Senior Vice President-Investments Senior Vice President-Investments Senior President-Investments Senior President-Investments Senior Senior V ice ice President-‐ PVice resident-‐ nvestments nvestments Managing Managing D irector-‐ irector-‐ nvestments Investments Senior Senior VCA V ice ice President-‐ PVice resident-‐ ILic nvestments Investments CA Insurance Lic I#0C28496 Insurance Lic #0821851 Insurance #0821851 858-523-7904 858-523-7904 Managing Managin Director-Inves Managin Director-Inves tments tments Managing Director-Investments Vice President-Investments Senior Vice President-Investments Senior Vice President-Investments Senior Vice President-Investments Senior Vice President-Investments Senior Vice President-Investments 858-523-7913 858-523-7913 Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® Jeffrey R Liber, CFP® Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® CA CA IInsurance IInsurance LLic Lic ##0821851 #0821851 CA Insurance Lic #0C28496 CA Insurance Lic #0821851 CALic Lic #0821851 Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® Jeffrey R Liber, Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® CA Rabbi Jacob Rupp, Saul Levine, Rachael Eden, CA Insurance Lic #0C28496 CA Insurance LicLic #0821851 CA Insurance LicLic #0821851 CA Insurance #0821851 CA Insurance #0821851 CA nsurance Lic ic #0821851 0821851 CA Insurance LLic ic ##0C28496 0C28496 CA Insurance LInsurance ic #0821851 CA nsurance CA IInsurance nsurance Lic #CFP® 0C28496 CA Insurance #0821851 don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com www.LiberLincoln WMG.com www.LiberLincoln WMG.com CA Insurance Lic Insurance #0C28496 Lic#0C28496 #0C28496 CA Insurance Lic CA Insurance Lic #0821851 CA Insurance Lic #0821851 CA Insurance Lic #0821851 CA Insurance Lic #0821851 CA Insurance Lic #0821851 CA Insurance Lic #0821851 Senior Vice PresidentInvestments Managing DirectorInvestments Senior Vice PresidentInvestments don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com Senior Vice PresidentInvestments Managing DirectorInvestments Senior Vice PresidentInvestments don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com

Sybil Kaplan, CAInsurance Insurance Lic#0821851 #0821851 CA Insurance #0C28496 don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® Jeffrey R Liber, CFP® Jeffrey.Liber@wfadvisors.com Don.Lincoln@wfadvisors.com CA Lic CA Insurance LicLic #0C28496 Zeebah Aleshi Gina Grimmer Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com

Jeffrey R Liber, CFP® jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com

Senior Vice PresidentInvestments Managing Director- Investments don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com Zeebah Aleshi Grimmer Gina Gina Zeebah AleshiClient Gina Grimmer Senior Registered Associate Financial Consultant Zeebah Aleshi Grimmer Gina Gina G G rimmer rimmer Managin gaddell Director-Inves tments Gina Gina G G rimmer rimmer CA Insurance Lic #0821851 CA W Insurance Lic #0C28496 Alissa Alissa W addell Senior Vice President-Investments Senior Registered Associate Financial Consultant Zeebah Aleshi Zeebah Aleshi Gina Grimmer Gina Grimmer CA Insurance Lic Client #0G75099 CA Insurance Lic #O178195 Senior Registered Client Associate Financial Consultant Gina Grimmer Registered Registered C C lient lient A A ssociate ssociate Senior Registered Client Associate Patty Dutra Financial Consultant Registered Registered C C lient lient A A ssociate ssociate AVP AVP -‐ R -‐ R egistered egistered CC lient lient AA ssociate ssociate don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com CA Insurance Lic #0C28496 CA Insurance Lic #0821851 CAzeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com Insurance Lic #0G75099 CA Insurance Lic #O178195 CA CA iinsurance iinsurance LLic Lic #Gil #0178195 gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com Senior Registered Client Associate Senior Registered Associate Financial Consultant Financial Consultant CA Insurance Lic #0G75099 CA Lic #O178195 CA Insurance LicClient #0G75099 CAFinancial Insurance Lic CA CA nsurance nsurance Lic ic #0178195 #0178195 0178195 Yesenia CA insurance L#O178195 ic #0I18483 CA iInsurance nsurance Lic #0I18483 Gina Grimmer Consultant Senior Client Associate don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com Yesenia Gil Gina Grimmer zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com Eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com Eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com alissa.waddell@wfadvisors.com alissa.waddell@wfadvisors.com Client Associate

Andrew Breskin, Evadon.lincoln@wfadvisors.com Beim. CAInsurance Insurance Lic#0821851 #0821851 don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® Don.Lincoln@wfadvisors.com CA Lic Zeebah Aleshi

Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com Senior Vice Presidentdon.lincoln@wfadvisors.com Zeebah Aleshi Zeebah AleshiInvestments

Senior Registered Zeebah Aleshi Client Associate

Gina Gina G G rimmer rimmer CA Insurance Lic #0821851 Senior Vice President-Investments Senior Registered Associate Zeebah Aleshi Zeebah Aleshi CA Insurance Lic Client #0G75099 Registered Client Associate Senior Registered Client Associate Patty Dutra Registered Registered CSenior C lient lient AA ssociate ssociate don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com CA Insurance Lic #0821851 CAzeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com Insurance Lic #0G75099 Senior Registered Client Associate Senior Registered Associate CA Lic #0G75099 CA Insurance LicClient #0G75099 CA CA insurance insurance Lic LInsurance ic #Associate 0178195 #0178195 Yesenia Gil Senior Client don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com Yesenia Gil zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com Eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com Client Associate zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com CALicInsurance Lic #0G75099 CA Insurance #0G75099

ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVES Ronnie Weisberg – Senior Account Executive Registered Client Associate zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com CALicInsurance Lic #0G75099 CA Insurance #0G75099 CA Insurance CA LicInsurance #O178195 LicAssociate #O178195 CA Insurance CA LicInsurance #O178195 LicAssociate #O178195 CA Insurance Lic #0178195 CA Insurance Lic #0178195 858-523-7904 858-523-7904 Client Associate Client Associate Registered Client Registered Client Yesenia Gil Yesenia Gil Fluent in Spanish FluentGil inzeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com Spanish Yesenia Gil Yesenia CA insurance Lic #O178195 CA insurance Lic #O178195 Jonathan Ableson – SeniorPatty.Dutra@wfadvisors.com Account Executive Gina Grimmer Gina Grimmer Zeebah Aleshi Zeebah Gina Grimmer Gina Grimmer zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com Fluent in Spanish Fluent inAleshi Spanish CA insurance #O178195 CA insurance #O178195 Patty.Dutra@wfadvisors.com Yesenia Gil Lic Yesenia Gil Lic Gina.Grimmer@wfadvisors.com Gina.Grimmer@wfadvisors.com Client Associate Client Associate Client Associate Client Associate yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com Registered Client Associate Registered Client Associate eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com Senior Registered Client Associate Senior Registered Client Associate Financial Consultant Financial Consultant Yesenia Gil Yesenia Gil Yesenia Gil Yesenia Gil yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com Alan Moss – Palm Springs Client Associate Client Associate Investment Investment and andInsurance Insurance Products: Products offered !NOT FDIC through Insured affiliates: !NO!NOT BankFluent Guarantee FDIC Insured !MAY !NO Lose Bank Value Guarantee in Spanish Fluent in Spanish Fluent in Spanish Fluent in Spanish CA insurance Lic #0178195 CA insurance Lic #0178195 Investment Investmentand andInsurance InsuranceProducts: Products offered !NOT FDIC through Insured affiliates: !NO!NOT Bank Guarantee FDIC Insured !MAY !NO Lose Bank Value Guarantee Investment Investmentand andInsurance InsuranceProducts: Products offered !NOT FDIC through Insured affiliates: !NO!NOT Bank Guarantee FDIC Insured !MAY !NO Lose Bank Value Guarantee CA Insurance Lic #0G75099

CA Insurance Lic #O178195

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!MAY Lose Value Client Associate Client Associate Client Associate Client Associate Fluent in Spanish Fluent in Spanish !MAY Lose Value !MAY Lose Value yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com Yesenia Gil Yesenia Gil Yesenia Gil Yesenia Gil eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com Zeebah Aleshi Zeebah Aleshi Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC, Member SIPC, is a registered broker-dealer and a separate non-bank affiliate of Wells Fargo & zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com Wells Fargo LLC, Member SIPC, is a registered broker-dealer and a separate non-bank affiliate of Wells Fargo & Wells Fargo LLC, Member SIPC, is a registered broker-dealer and a separate non-bank affiliate of Wells Fargo & Fluent inAdvisors, Spanish Fluent inAdvisors, Spanish Fluent in Spanish Fluent in Spanish yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com Company. Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC, Member SIPC, is a registered broker-dealer and a separate non-bank affiliate of Wells Fargo & Company. Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC, Member SIPC, is a registered broker-dealer and a separate non-bank affiliate of Wells Fargo & Company. Company. Company. Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC, Member SIPC,Associate is a registered broker-dealer and a separate non-bank affiliate of Wells Fargo & Company. Client Associate Client Associate Client Associate Client Associate Senior Client Associate Senior Registered Client ©2009 ©2009 Wells WellsRegistered Fargo FargoAdvisors, Advisors,LLC. LLC. All Allrights rights reserved. reserved.88580 88580–v1 –v1-0312-2590 -0312-2590(e7460) (e7460) SAN DIEGO JEWISH JOURNAL yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com ©2009 WellsFargo FargoAdvisors, Advisors,LLC. LLC.All Allrights rightsreserved. reserved.88580 88580–v1 –v1-0312-2590 -0312-2590(e7460) (e7460) ©2009 Wells ©2009 ©2009 Wells WellsFargo FargoAdvisors, Advisors,LLC. LLC.All Allrights rightsreserved. reserved.88580 88580–v1 –v1-0312-2590 -0312-2590(e7460) (e7460) yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com Fluent in Spanish Fluent inGilSpanish Fluent in Spanish Fluent inGilSpanish Yesenia Yesenia CA CA Insurance Lic #0675099 Insurance Lic (858) #0675099 638-9818 • fax: (858) 638-9801 Client Associate Client Associate yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com Investment and Insurance offered through affiliates:NO NOT FDIC Insured MAY NO Bank Investment and Insurance offered through affiliates:NO NOT FDIC Insured MAY NO Bank Zeebah.Aleshi@wfadvisors.com Zeebah.Aleshi@wfadvisors.com Investment InsuranceProducts Products: NOT FDIC Insured Bank Guarantee LoseGuarantee Value Investment InsuranceProducts Products: NOT FDIC Insured Bank Guarantee LoseGuarantee Value

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FROM THE EDITOR

THE STARTING LINE by Brie Stimson

editor@sdjewishjournal.com

Boarding In the last month I’ve been on two separate trips to visit family at opposite ends of the country. As I’ve mentioned before, my brother moved to Washington, D.C. last year and my parents still live in Spokane, Washington (It’s confusing because it’s two Washingtons). I flew out to D.C. for three days before the Fourth of July to see my brother, his wife and my 18-month-old niece who breaks my heart every time she points to me and calls me “Anbi!” (baby translation: Aunt Brie). Just a few weeks later, I was flying out to see the rest of my clan in Spokane for four days. I spent time with my parents and my grandma and just happened across two of my aunts, my great aunt and uncle and two of my cousins. I think the only way my core family could have dispersed more across the United States is if my parents moved to Alaska or if I moved to Hawaii – which I’m open to. (I could do a research project on Jewish Hawaii, Mark?) In fact, after my brother and I graduated from high school we fanned out across the world for a while. I remember when I was in studying abroad in China he was in the Middle East in the Navy and the next semester when I studied in the Middle East he went to Asia. Eventually we all returned to the U.S., but I’m sure we’ll rove about again. This is such a common 21st century sto12 SDJewishJournal.com | September 2018

Years later, when we look back on the memories of High Holidays of yesteryear it won’t likely be the honey cake or the blowing of the shofar we remember, it will be who was sitting beside us, laughing with us, holding our hand and giving us a hug for the New Year. ry. Families scatter around the country and often around the world. Even our contributors and columnists inhabit the likes of Israel, Canada and New Mexico, among others. Technology (plane travel, etc.) and the enticement of opportunity in far off cities has made moving away easier than ever, which

means we’re not generally living two doors down from our parents anymore. That’s what makes the holidays so important in my opinion. It’s a marker in the year that tells us to return home and renew our love for those in our lives. Of course, we can’t always (the news doesn’t stop because it’s a holiday, and I’ve spent more than one behind a desk), but it is a reminder that those whom we love won’t be around forever, and if you can you should buy that ticket home to see Grandpa, Grandpa, Mom, Dad, Sis, Bro and even Uncle Len and Aunt Barbara. Holidays like Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur have a special meaning on their own. If, for some reason, you can’t be with your family and friends, it’s comforting to be able to go to a service or dinner and be embraced by a community of people who will take you in, but if you can, I suggest making the trip. Years later, when we look back on the memories of High Holidays of yesteryear it won’t likely be the honey cake or the blowing of the shofar we remember, it will be who was sitting beside us, laughing with us, holding our hand and giving us a hug for the New Year. Holidays are the time of year more than any other when you can (and should) go home again. A

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let us know what’s on your mind.

Send us your comments: editor@sdjewishjournal.com 5665 Oberlin Dr., Ste 204, San Diego, CA 92121

Please consider our guidelines for Letters to the Editor prior to submitting your comments: The San Diego Jewish Journal welcomes reader responses to articles. Due to space limitations, responses to articles cannot exceed 200 words and will be edited in coordination with the letter’s author and at the discretion of the editor and publishers. For readers who wish to submit multiple letters, we require three issue months to pass between published letters so as to make space for more reader responses. All readers can comment as often as they’d like in the comments section of our website, found at the bottom of every articleon sdjewishjournal. comMagazine articles are republished on the website at the beginning of each issue month.

14 SDJewishJournal.com | September 2018

Dear Editor, I am writing in support of the "Letter to the Editor," in the July, 2018 issue written by Sondra Burke. I too am weary of the berating and other insults heaped upon our president and Republicans in general. You rarely read anything, let alone something positive about Jewish Republicans. From my small sample size (friends plus social media), I am guessing there are more Jewish Republicans than you might imagine. How about an article about us? -Leon Alpert

Corrections

In “Out of the Blue” [Aug. 2018] Barry A. Kaplan should have been listed as the photographer.

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online

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How Holocaust Experts Want to Help Mark Zuckerberg Solve Facebook’s Denial Dilemma Holocaust experts want to meet with Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg over the social network’s unwillingness to automatically remove anti-Semitic and Holocaust denial material. The heads of organizations and experts involved in Holocaust and genocide education offered to meet with Zuckerberg and help raise Holocaust awareness within the Facebook community. Read the entire JTA story on our website.

Seth Rogen is the New Voice of Vancouver’s Public Transit If you find yourself on a bus or SkyTrain in Vancouver, you can now hear the voice of native Canadian Seth Rogen. The comedian’s distinctive voice will give announcements about “transit etiquette.” The 36-year-old actor, who was a last minute substitute for Morgan Freeman, said, "Any opportunity to enrich the lives of the Canadian people is an opportunity I will take.”

Female Israeli pilot makes Air Force history For the first time, a female pilot has been appointed to head an Israel Air Force flight squadron, operating surveillance aircraft. Major G, whose first name is not provided due to security concerns, will command the 122nd Squadron, also known as the Nachshon Squadron, which takes part in covert aerial operations, sometimes thousands of miles away from Israel. She will be promoted to the rank of lieutenant colonel.

New Tax Code Makes Synagogues Pay for Employee Benefits. Jewish Groups are Balking An Orthodox Jewish organization called on Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin to delay implementing a tax code provision that requires synagogues and nonprofits to pay federal taxes on employee benefits. The provision, added to the tax code in December’s Tax Cut and Jobs Act, would require houses of worship and other nonprofits for the first time to pay federal taxes on employee fringe benefits such as parking and transportation subsidies. A bill called the Lessening Impediments from Taxes for Charities Act would repeal the provision.

16 SDJewishJournal.com | September 2018

Elul 5778 â&#x20AC;¢ Tishrei 5779 | SDJewishJournal.com 17

the BY EILEEN SONDAK, PHOTOS BY RYAN SONDAK AND DEREK BERGHAUS

Jerusalem Zoo at San Diego Zoo Supporters of the Jerusalem Zoo gathered for the 18th annual luncheon at the San Diego Zoo’s Treetop Room recently. The visiting teenagers from Israel were in San Diego during the summer as part of an Israel/San Diego exchange program – to learn more about caring for zoo animals from experts at the San Diego Zoo. They will take their newfound knowledge back to Jerusalem, where they volunteer at the popular Jerusalem Zoo. After enjoying a delicious buffet in the restaurant, guests celebrated the community leaders honored in an official proclamation from Congresswoman Susan Davis. Among them was Ellen Barnett, who created this exchange program 18 years ago and long-time supporter Robert Price. The event was underwritten by Jeanne and Arthur Rivkin and the Elliot Fuersteins, in memory of Elaine Hirsch. The luncheon served as a meet-and-greet, where the young zookeepers could mix with the families that sponsored their visit. This year’s group was very excited about the unique experience and eager to share it with friends back home. As Amiel Paleg enthused, “We really enjoyed it and learned a lot.” (Read pg. 70 for our interview with CEO and Director of the Jerusalem Zoo, Shai Doron.) A

TOP: Robert Price and Charlotte Rand. MIDDLE: Luca Groening & Amiel Paleg; Doug Meyers. BOTTOM: Arthur and Jeannie Rivkin; Zack Bunshaft-Community Representative for Congresswomen Susan A. Davis; Barbara Rakov, Ellen Rofman.

18 SDJewishJournal.com l September 2018

Stand with the Land and People of Israel Through a Charitable Gift Annuity By Matt Bernstein CFP, JNF Chief Planned Giving Officer

oday is as good a time as ever to explore the option of supporting Jewish National Fund through our Charitable Gift Annuity program. As many of our donors already know, JNF runs one of the most successful Charitable Gift Annuity programs. It is because of our generous annuity rates that our donors enjoy the stability of receiving a reliable income along with the knowledge that their gift ultimately supports the land and people of Israel. Jewish National Fund’s mission is more critical than ever. Our myriad of projects in Israel’s Negev and Galilee have seen a drastic socioeconomic change in the lives of all who call Israel home. Through our Blueprint Negev initiative, Be’er Sheva—the capital city of the Negev—is now the fastest growing city in Israel and attracting hi-tech businesses. Thanks to our Go North initiative, the Galilee’s economy is experiencing an unprecedented boom. These successes are shaping Israel’s destiny for future generations, and it has been made possible through stakeholders like you. Jewish National Fund is taking tangible steps in fighting BDS (Boycott, Divestment, and Sanction) and anti-Semitism through our $100 million JNF Boruchin Israel Education and Advocacy Center. Our Alexander Muss High School in Israel (AMHSI-JNF) is working to connect younger generations to the importance of Israel and the Jewish experience in their lives, while giving them a leg up for their college years. So how does this work? A Jewish National Fund Charitable Gift Annuity is a simple agreement that offers our donors a lifetime of income in exchange for their gift. In addition to the income, there are valuable tax advantages such as tax-fee income, an income tax deduction, and the avoidance of lump sum capital gains taxes if the donation is made with long-term

appreciated stocks or mutual funds. Our annuities can be structured to cover one or two lives and can be designed to act like a supplemental retirement plan by deferring income for a number of years. Here is a sampling of the single life annuity rates we offer: Single-Life Gift Annuity*

AGE 65 70 75 80 85 90+

RATE 5.3% 5.8% 6.5% 7.5% 8.4% 9.8%

*Two life rates will vary. Rates are subject to change.

Compared to investment rates found in commercial markets, Jewish National Fund’s rates are very competitive. The rates for a two-life annuity are lower than those listed here but are still very attractive. And, just as important, when the gift annuity ends, the remaining dollars help make a major impact on Jewish National Fund’s mission and ensures that your legacy lives on in Israel. To receive information, including a detailed illustration on how a Jewish National Fund Charitable Gift Annuity might benefit you, please call 800.562.7526 to speak with any of our Planned Giving specialists. You can also reach us via email at plannedgiving@jnf.org or visit jnflegacy.org.

We look forward to hearing from you.

jnflegacy.org ∙ 800.562.7526

Elul 5778 • Tishrei 5779 | SDJewishJournal.com 19

our TOWN

BY LINDA BENNETT & EMILY BARTELL PHOTOS COURTESY OF THE SEACREST FOUNDATION AND JENNIFER COBURN

Seacrest Foundation Annual Golf, Tennis & Spa Day Benefit

On July 23rd, the Seacrest Foundation held its Annual Golf, Tennis & Spa Day Benefit at the beautiful Del Mar Country Club & Rancho Valencia Spa. The event, commemorating 75 years of Seacrest Village Retirement Communities being a lifeline in our community, was a lovely all day affair, including lunch, dinner and auction. Among those enjoying the activities of the day were Julee Press, Paige Press & Alec Musser, Ann & Steve Kavy, Marva Gessel, Marshall Wax, Daniel Wax, Glenn Goodstein, Jeremy Cohen, Lisa Levine, Cindy & Larry Bloch, Gary Pollak, Rick Slaughter, Jeffrey Pollak, Mike Dolinka, Drew Farris, Ari Saul, Carl Measer, Larry Katz, Patrick Dempsey, Devin Chodorow, Matt Kolker, James Haimsohn, Joel Haimsohn, Howard Haimsohn, Lawrence Weitzen, Eric Weitzen and Marty Ehrlich. Everyone in attendance enjoyed an energized day of activities with their friends and families.

“Life Falls Apart, But You Don’t Have To”

It was our pleasure to attend the recent book signing at Warwick’s, for Julie Potiker’s inspiring new book, “Life Falls Apart, But You Don’t Have To.” Listening to Julie’s presentation were Vincent & Louise Felitti, Todd & Lannette Bloom, Stacy & Jon Halberg, Rosie Jacobson, Ruth Gold, Ed Carnot, Lowell Potiker, Leslie Lyons, Burt Disner, Paul Jacobowitz, Wendy Sabin-Lasker and Roz Pappelbaum and many others.

“Concert With A Cause”

A very special “Play It Forward” benefit concert sponsored by the Museum of Making Music took place on August 10th at The Music Box. A hidden gem in our community, the Museum of Making Music created a wonderful evening, “Concert With A Cause,” featuring Herb Alpert & Lani Hall, in support of the Museum’s Educational Outreach Programs. Executive Director Carolyn Grant opened the evening with a warm welcome. Truly a memorable evening, those in attendance were treated to personal anecdotes by the 83-year-old legendary trumpeter! Among those we spotted in the soldout crowd were Evelyn Lipson Radom & Sandy Radom, Pam Lawrence, Brad & Vicky Ross, and Gerri Ann & Gary Jacobs.A 20 SDJewishJournal.com | September 2018

TOP: First Place Golf Foursome; BOTTOM: Front: Brad Blose, Mary Epsten, Marva Gesell Kavy, Kim Strombe

l, Jared Ziman. 2nd row: Jerome Van Amburg, Ann Kavy, Steve erg. 3rd row: Bonnie Hall, Kevin Hall, Paige Press, Alec Musserz.

LEFT: Julie Potiker. RIGHT: A crowd gathers at Warwick's to hear author Julia Potiker.

Mazel Tov to…

Doug & Jan Selik on their 68th wedding anniversary. Shirley & Dick Gilbert on their 66th wedding anniversary. Deborah & Isaac Bejar on their 65th wedding anniversary, Sheree & Mickey Stiegler on their 65th wedding anniversary, Noami & Myron Shelley on their 63rd wedding anniversary,

Bobbi & Mike Witte on their 56th wedding anniversary. Joy & Jeff Kirsch on their 56th wedding anniversary. Naomi & Al Eisman on their 55th wedding anniversary. Sybil & Charles Grossman on their 55th wedding anniversary, Jim Harris on his 95th birthday. A

Guardians Planning Committee.

Elul 5778 • Tishrei 5779 | SDJewishJournal.com 21

PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT AND JUDAISM

THIS WAY TO EDEN by Rachel Eden

rachel.s.eden@gmail.com

i friends, before we bail on religion, why don’t we think together about what we might do with our Jewish inheritance? Let’s start the conversation this Friday night. (Also, there will be scotch.) XO Sharon." Sharon Brous pressed send to her email that culminated from a desire to breathe new life in her own Jewish journey. In her 2016 TEDWomen talk, Brous compares people’s relationships with Judaism today to a marriage of many years. While the wedding day experience years ago was emotionally intense, as the betrothed publicly proclaimed their love for one another in a holy bond, those same two people would be considered fortunate to remember booking dinner reservations for a current anniversary. So too, Judaism’s sacred revelatory experience at Mount Sinai that manifested the commandments for successful living is now considered by many as a distant and irrelevant inheritance. Expecting around 20 visitors to arrive in response to her email, Sharon Brous greeted 135 eager guests for Shabbat dinner that night. She described her mixed group of rabbis, atheists, seekers and cynics as being so deeply touched by this dinner, many said it was the sole meaningful Jewish experience they had encountered in their whole lives. Immediately following that feedback to her fateful Shabbat dinner 13 years ago, Sharon quit her job to serve as senior rabbi and founder to a Los Angeles-based Jewish spiritual community called IKAR, named after her aspiration to share the very heart of Judaism with others. Whether one affiliates with Sharon Brous’

22 SDJewishJournal.com | September 2018

Don’t Settle for Gefilte Fish on Rosh Hashanah group or not is irrelevant to connecting with her accurate yet tragic portrayal of the typical Jew’s experience and her desire to bring about positive change. Several years ago, I debated what being Jewish means with a group of college students. Diverging opinions emerged, but we concluded our discussion with one essential thought: Judaism is not designed to be contained to one day at synagogue on Rosh Hashanah, a few hours at Hebrew school, or a single charitable donation to a Jewish cause. If you are reading this, you’re engaging with a Jewish magazine. Does it make you feel more Jewish? You likely celebrated a bar or bat mitzvah, paid a membership due at your local synagogue, visited Israel and I’ll bet a pastrami sandwich on rye has met your acquaintance. So now what? Are you a card carrying member of the Jewish nation? Is that the extent of what it means to be a Jew? Why be Jewish anyway; why hold on to a birthright if it is empty to us? If Sharon Brous is correct in comparing a newlywed couple to our nation at Mount Sinai and an older couple to our current Jewish community, then the problem — along with its solution — begins to surface. We have become apathetic because so much of our spirituality becomes routine; an empty shell of what we were taught at home or in school. Disconnected routine is destroying our Judaism, relationship with G-d, as well as our own potential. Rabbi Shlomo Wolbe, twentieth century sage and author of the highly influential Jewish ethics book, "Alei Shor," points out that no matter what level of miracle is happening around you, if you’re not open and aware, your life will continue unchanged and unaffected. Rosh Hashanah is not just a holiday with honey cake and the sounds of the shofar. It is the holiday that sets the tone for our year, it’s the time we orient our lives around our

Creator instead of ourselves. Rosh Hashanah shakes us awake from our deadening routines and begs us to joyfully make the most of our lives. If we just drag ourselves to synagogue, recite words from a prayer book that mean nothing to us, and follow standing or sitting instructions for the length of the service, we have (at best) gained nothing. More likely, we have reinforced the message that our Judaism is a burden we must bear, a drain of our time and energy. Many of us know being Jewish means something, we just don’t know what or why. Consider what a difference spending just one hour preparing for this holiday would make. Briskets and casseroles aside, one hour would better prepare our minds and hearts to be open to others, pour our hearts out to G-d and not give up hope on ourselves. Anyone still living for the “Fiddler on the Roof” version of Judaism complete with gefilte fish has been duped into a knock-off version of the real thing. Judaism is unsustainable unless it checks all the boxes of enabling us to live successfully, proving truthful and right, meaningful and fulfilling and (maybe most importantly to many of us) being joyful and pleasurable. Upon reflection, we’ll find endless possibilities for heightened mindfulness and therein lies our best weapon against apathy and a far more expansive definition of our Judaism. We must acknowledge that Judaism transcends a bar mitzvah party, bagels with lox or a short time spent in a prayer service. Judaism is our identity and essence, with every single moment an opportunity to engage mindfully with ourselves, each other and G-d. Before we bail on our religion, why don’t we think together about what we might do with our Jewish inheritance? Let’s start the conversation this Rosh Hashanah. (Email me for a meal. Also, there will be scotch.) XO Rachel . A

Elul 5778 â&#x20AC;¢ Tishrei 5779 | SDJewishJournal.com 23

ILLUSTRATION BY PEPÉ FAINBERG

ISRAELI LIFESTYLE

LIVING ON THE FRONT PAGE by Andrea Simantov

andreasimantov@gmail.com

Accountability Revisiting and Prioritizing ‘Values’ he summer didn’t linger. It raced by with tire-screeching fury, resulting in whiplash and motion sickness. My clients shared tales of renting cabins next to Lake Como in Italy and sabbath meals in Switzerland. One friend fulfilled a lifelong dream of visiting Alaska and another went on a powerful heritage tour of Poland. The highlights of my summer? One night I ate fish and chips at a street fair, I drove 90 minutes to Ikea and bought two coffee mugs and a shower mat with an unpronounceable Nordic name and in August I was felled by sunstroke on the Ashkelon beach. Perhaps those empty summer days were designed for reflection before the most important, awe-filled period on the Jewish calendar. After all, there are no holy days, which require fancy meals, specific obligations or yom tov finery. We received the Torah in the month of Sivan (mid-May this year), and those of us who are Torah observant, believe that there are no ‘coincidences’ but, rather, a Divine plan. Suddenly I considered the abandon that typically accompanies vacation season. The near-nudity of people walking from their cars to the shore and into local kiosks is downright fascinating. Men and women of all ages who would never accept a UPS 24 SDJewishJournal.com | September 2018

delivery in their birthday suit casually stroll about the boardwalk as though the wooden-slats beneath their feet confer a special status to beachgoers. Naked isn’t naked if there are waves and gulls nearby. Would one wear the same Band-Aid-sized Speedo or Stella McCartney bikini at the local supermarket to stock up on shampoo? And while there are deeper sensitivities about what constitutes nudity within the religious Christian, Jewish and Muslim communities, the accepted rules of modest dress are seemingly non-existent in primarily secular Israel. But is modesty only about how much skin we show? As I prepare to pray alongside my co-religionists and ask for mercy, sustenance, robust health and some respect from recalcitrant children, it behooves me to ask myself about how much uneaten food was discarded this past year. While tossing chicken wings and lamb chops on the grill during summer picnic season, the staccato laughter of revelers, some of whom dance to the beat of the tarbuka and sip steaming cups of botz, I ask myself if letting one’s hair down reflects abandoned principles. As I prepare to face G-d, it dawns on me that I had rarely considered where my food comes from. Do I cook only what is needed

for nourishment or have I been callous with flesh that comes from living creatures? And what about the mounds of non-biodegradable plastic goods that, having served their purpose, are now relegated to landfills for generations to come? From the cell phone for every child to the plethora of entertainment options, to the expected SUV, to disposable clothing, dishware and relationships, the more, more and a little more of a people who were once known for their modesty and being the undisputed Light-Unto-the-Nations, something has morphed into an ugliness that the summer from which we are emerging can only magnify. Rosh Hashanah falls in early September, heralding the month of Tishrei. We are granted a staggering opportunity to usher in a more meaningful year, deepen our relationships and create real, healthy change for ourselves and those we care about. Modesty is not only skin deep. Just as we want G-d to show mercy to us, we are created in His image and can begin by showing mercy to one another and expressing gratitude for all we’ve been fortunate enough to acquire – both physical and spiritual – in this fragile sojourn called “life.” A

Elul 5778 â&#x20AC;¢ Tishrei 5779 | SDJewishJournal.com 25

EXAMINED LIFE

OUR EMOTIONAL FOOTPRINT

by Saul Levine, M.D., Professor Emeritus in Psychiatry at UCSD slevine@ucsd.edu

ur original “Group of Guys” came about during a dinner conversation over 20 years ago, when one guy (not I) suggested that the three men there form a nucleus of a discussion group about their lives and invite other members. Flash forward to the present: This group of guys includes eight men who have been participating regularly in monthly evening meetings at each other's homes for more than 20 years. We members are indeed a “motley crew,” remarkably diverse, with widely different ages (50-85), ethno-cultural backgrounds (Jewish, Muslim, Christian, Buddhist, Atheist, American, North African, Canadian, Moroccan, Caribbean); vocations (artist, psychologist/professor, manager/salesman, physician, plumber/poet/activist, organizational consultant, inventor/businessman, drug counselor, writer); socioeconomic status (struggling to middle class to wealthy); and markedly different personalities. The monthly meetings occur at different members’ homes around the host’s dining table with him as chairman and last a few hours. Everyone has an opportunity to speak in sequence about his own life or any other subject(s). Each speaker brings the group upto-date on relevant or preoccupying issues in his life, and other members are free to comment and discuss. The unwritten but clear rules are simple: No topics are off limits; No disrespect or rudeness; Honesty and Trust; and Omerta, or strict Confidentiality. In these meetings, we’ve shared our moods and our fears, our regrets and desires. We’ve heard about the trials and tribulations of 26 SDJewishJournal.com | September 2018

Belonging To 'Just a Group of Guys' different members’ lives, as well as hopes and dreams. We’ve discussed relationships with spouses, children and lovers, and issues involving our health and sexuality, finances and careers. Listening, empathy and caring are the norm, but we also tease and confront when warranted. We have mourned each other’s losses, and we’ve celebrated our milestones and successes. Amidst serious discussions, we have supported and hugged, we’ve shed tears and laughed heartily. Over the years, we’ve lost some members (through death and illness), and gained new blood, but the original core remains. What has become vividly apparent is that we are “there” for each other, through thick and thin, setbacks and successes. We all have other family and friend relationships, but we implicitly know that each of us feels safe and secure in the group: We have each other’s backs. Our gatherings serve a variety of purposes. We are not a “dining group” per se, although the host is responsible for providing dinner. We are not a “drinking group,” but libations (alcohol and not) are provided, and we are not primarily a “recreation group,” but we do get respite from our daily routines and derive pleasure. While we are not strictly a “therapy group,” when we discuss our personal frailties and setbacks, as well as our pleasures and achievements, feedback from our members is always meant to be helpful. There are innumerable formally defined groups throughout the world, sharing activities, interests, hobbies and avocations, sponsored by organizations and institutions, and they are important and effective. Our own

group, however, was and is an “ad hoc” creation, not officially established or sanctioned. And yet, our group thrives, as we provide each other with communality, caring and trust. While we feel comfortable as we share many deep values and attitudes, we also cherish our differences. We all leave each meeting feeling nurtured and fulfilled. Ultimately, we offer each other a sense of Belonging, a crucial cornerstone of The "Four B's" (including, Being, Believing and Benevolence) which, I believe are the core criteria we use to evaluate the quality of our lives. Belonging is the extent to which we feel appreciated, respected and cared for as a member of any group of close people. The groups vary widely and can be made up of family, friends, colleagues, teammates, congregants or platoon members, for example, or can be informal, like ours. But they all offer that sense of being welcomed. A Sense of Belonging is related to our feelings of well being, and to actual measurements of better physical and emotional health. Loneliness, on the other hand, which is a growing “epidemic” in post-modern societies, is clearly detrimental to these qualities of life. Belonging is a boon to our existence, while loneliness is a bane to our lives. A Sense of Belonging enhances our very lives: Our bodies, moods and minds are enriched and ennobled. If you already belong to groups which provide you with close, supportive relationships, more power to you. But if you seek a new or additional “antidote” to loneliness or lack of meaning in your lives, allow me to suggest starting a similar “Group of Guys (or Gals”).” A

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Elul 5778 â&#x20AC;˘ Tishrei 5779 | SDJewishJournal.com 27

RELIGION

POST-POLITICAL by Rabbi Jacub Rupp

rabbirupp@gmail.com

Enough With the Resolutions ometimes we wait for life to happen to us, mistakenly realizing it already has. I had this moment recently. I say a daily prayer for my children, asking G-d to grant my kids everything that Jewish parents ask for: success, health, suitable marriage partner in the right time and that they should be good Jews. Thank G-d my kids are healthy, and I think they are very successful (they are all under the age of 10). But suffice to say that praying for a successful life for my children has a tendency to seem a little like an investment in their future instead of their present. Sure, my wife reminds me, that one day I’ll be walking my daughters down the aisle and crying like a baby, but it still seems far away. In the text of the prayer, there is a petition that G-d make my children love and know a lot of Torah. Ok great—so that will happen one day in the future too, right? I fondly think of my kids, my seven-year-old son in particular, watching hours of educational videos about how to remodel a house, play video games and whatever else he watches. Then it hit me; maybe someday won’t happen unless I do something now. He’s not going to become a Torah scholar unless I start the process. Or at least do something to hasten the fulfillment of the prayer. This may seem obvious, but it isn’t. In fact, the great first chief rabbi of Israel, Rabbi Avraham Kook, teaches that the most effective way to pray is to pray sincerely and then start doing things that would actualize 28 SDJewishJournal.com | September 2018

the prayer. So sure, pray, but then do something. Oftentimes we think I should either do something or sit back and pray. What is the point of prayer, anyway? Many modern people might consider prayer old fashioned. These folks surmise that in the old days, the unschooled person perhaps saw prayer like an amulet, a way to charm G-d. We butter Him up with praises, and then ask for a Bentley when we know we don’t deserve it. Surely this is preposterous—and perhaps our ancestors thought so as well. Now that we modern people understand a bit more about how the world works, we know there is such a thing as cause and effect, medicine, the realty of the stock market, etc. and perhaps we figure that we don’t need prayer. If I am going to go out and work for it anyway, why pray? I can just make it happen. Whereas in the past, we surmise that people didn’t know enough and had to rely on G-d out of a poverty of information, we may feel as if we can rely on ourselves based on our overabundance of information. But this also is a fallacy. Can we truly get anything we want? Perhaps—but what if what we are looking for is wrong, or harmful for us? Can or should we change every element of our fate? How do we know what’s really best for us? Maybe the job we are so sure we want will ultimately make us miserable, or that person we wish we could date would in fact be all wrong for

us. With so many factors that could change our lives we really do find ourselves without much of a clue of what would be best for us. As such, when we make resolutions, or even goals, how can we know what to ask for? The concept of prayer is to change yourself THROUGH THE MEDIUM of prayer. We want to fulfill G-d’s will, which is to use all of our personality and our talents for the good. But we have to do the work to become who we want to accomplish, and be the element of change we are looking for in the world. That being said, it's G-d’s world. No matter what our opinions might be, He set our lives and decisions on a particular course and it’s better to make peace with it and learn how to grow from where we are instead of longing to be something we are not. That’s the challenge for the new year and new day; don’t make resolutions. Take into account what you have now, who you are now, and where you think you’d like to go. Stop. Pray. Ask G-d to help. And make small but meaningful steps in that direction. Perhaps you’ll wind up at your original destination or become enlightened to the true path you are on. Ultimately, we have to enjoy the journey and work hard to make our prayers a reality. So, the end of the story? I came home and asked my son if he wanted to learn Torah. And for the first time I felt my prayers were being answered. A

Shanah Tovah!

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Elul 5778 • Tishrei 5779 | SDJewishJournal.com 29

SEACREST VILLAGE RETIREMENT COMMUNITIES at En c i n i tas a n d R a nc h o Ber n a r d o

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Seacrest Village wishes you a happy and healthy New Year! seacrestvillage.org 30 SDJewishJournal.com | September 2018

2018 Annual listing of High Holiday services, stories and recollections.

Elul 5778 â&#x20AC;˘ Tishrei 5779 | SDJewishJournal.com 31

high holidays

listings

HIGH HOLIDAY LISTINGS 2018 Compiled by Jacqueline Bull and Julia Bernicker

CHABAD

Chabad Baja California 3830 Valley Center Dr. St 705-103 San Diego, CA 92130 latinrabbi@gmail.com (011) 521664-596-4349 (619) 726-4645 *Call for times and reservation info. Chabad of Carmel Valley 11860 Carmel Creek Rd. San Diego, CA 92130 rabbi@chabadcv.com chabadcv.com (858) 333-4613

Rosh Hashanah Sept. 9: 6:30 p.m. Arvit Sept. 10: 9:30 a.m. Shacharit 11 a.m. Kid’s program 12 p.m. Shofar 5:30 p.m. Tashlich 6:15 p.m. Mincha Sept. 11: 9:30 a.m. Shacharit 11 a.m. Kid’s program 12 p.m. Shofar 6:30 p.m. Mincha Yom Kippur Sept. 18: 6:30 p.m. Kol Nidre Sept. 19: 9:30 a.m. Shacharit 11 a.m. Kid’s program 12 p.m. Yizkor 3 p.m. Break 4 p.m. Mincha 5:30 p.m. Neilah *There is no cost to attend services. Reservations are appreciated at chabadcv.com, or 619.726.4645. Chabad of Coronado 956 Orange Ave. Coronado, CA 92118 elisd619@yahoo.com chabadcoronado.com (619) 365-4728 Rosh Hashanah 32 SDJewishJournal.com | September 2018

When I was a kid, about 10 or 11, we had some close family friends. Although devout Catholics, they were very interested in learning about the Jewish religion and cultures. My mom invited them to dinner on Erev Rosh Hashanah. They asked what foods were traditional for this holy celebration, and I proudly answered that apples and honey were served to usher in a sweet New Year. The following week when they came to the door for our High Holiday dinner, they presented my mom with a big platter of honey-baked ham, and announced in chorus, “to usher in a sweet New Year.”

– Catharine Kaufman

Sept. 9: 6:30 p.m. Evening Service and community dinner at Hotel Del Sept. 10: 10 a.m. Morning Service 11:30 a.m. Shofar Sounding 12 p.m. Community Lunch 4:30 p.m. Tashlich 6:30 p.m. Evening service and community dinner at Hotel Del Sept. 11: 10 a.m. Morning Service at Hotel Del 11:30 a.m. Shofar Sounding 12 p.m. Community Lunch 8 p.m. Evening service Yom Kippur Sept. 18: 7 p.m. Kol Nidrei services at Hotel Del Sept. 19: 10 a.m. Morning services at Hotel Del 12 p.m. Yizkor 5:30 p.m. Mincha, Maftir Yonah 6 p.m. Closing service 7:25 p.m. Community Break-Fast Chabad of Downtown 308 G St. San Diego, CA 92101 info@chabaddowntown.com chabaddowntown.com (619) 702-8518

Rosh Hashanah Sept. 9: 7 p.m. Evening Service 8:30 p.m. Rosh Hashanah Dinner Sept. 10: 9 a.m. Morning Service 11 a.m. Shofar Sounding 6 p.m. Tashlich Service 7 p.m. Evening Service Sept. 11: 9 a.m. Morning Service 11 a.m. Shofar Sounding 6:45 p.m. Evening Service Yom Kippur Sept. 18: 6:30 p.m. Kol Nidrei Sept. 19: 10 a.m. Morning Service 5:30 p.m. Neilah Closing Service Services held at the Horton Grand Hotel. For more information and to make reservations visit chabaddowntown.com. Chabad of East County 7624 Rowena St. San Diego, CA 92119 Rabbi@jewishec.com Jewishec.com (619) 387-8770

Rosh Hashanah Sept. 9: 7 p.m. Rosh Hashanah Dinner

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Elul 5778 â&#x20AC;˘ Tishrei 5779 | SDJewishJournal.com 33

high holidays

listings

Sept.10: 10 a.m. Morning Service with children’s program Sept. 11: 10 a.m. Morning Service with children’s program Yom Kippur Sept. 18: 6:30 p.m. Kol Nidrei Sept. 19: 10 a.m. Morning Service 12 p.m. Yikzor 5:15 p.m. Mincha and Neila For R.S.V.P. or more information, 619.387.8770, jewishec.com or info@jewishec.com.

Chabad at La Costa

1980 La Costa Ave. Carlsbad, CA 92009 chabadatlacosta.com (760) 943-8891 Rosh Hashanah Sept. 9: 6:30 p.m. Evening Service 7:30 p.m. Community Dinner Sept. 10: 9 a.m. Morning Service 11:30 a.m. Shofar Sounding 6 p.m. Tashlich/Afternoon Service 7 p.m. Evening Services 8 p.m. Community Dinner Sept. 11: 9 a.m. Morning Services 11:30 a.m. Shofar Sounding 7:45 p.m. Evening Service Yom Kippur Sept. 18: 8 a.m. Morning Service 4:30 p.m. Afternoon Service 5 p.m. Community Dinner 6:30 p.m. Kol Nidrei Service Sept. 19: 9 a.m. Morning Service 12 p.m. Yizkor Memorial Service 4:30 p.m. Afternoon Service 5:30 p.m. Neilah Closing Service, followed by break-the-fast

Chabad of La Jolla Shores

909 Prospect St. Suite 210 La Jolla, CA 92037 chabadoflajolla@gmail.com chabadoflajolla.com (858) 455-5433 *All morning services begin at 10 a.m., evening services begin at 6:30

34 SDJewishJournal.com | September 2018

High-school-teenaged me rolled my eyes at the prospect of attending Yom Kippur Break Fasts with my parents and their squaresville 1970s post-hippie, leisureand-pantsuit wearing, side-burned friends and their offspring. Listening to the parents gossip and laugh about their kids (me included) embarrassed me. Plus, I didn’t hang out with the other Jewish offspring present at school. In short, this High Holy Day ritual made me feel socially awkward. Looking back, I realize how hamische and community-building these occasions were. I’d love to attend one now and laugh and gossip about my own offspring with my parents and their friends. But my folks are long gone. Kids, remember to honor thy mothers and fathers while they’re still around. Mom and Dad, I’ll be hoisting a round of bagels and lox heavenward to you this Break Fast.

— Sharon Leib

p.m. Call (858) 455-5433 or email chabadoflajolla@gmail.com to R.S.V.P.

Chabad of Pacific Beach

4240 Gresham St, San Diego, CA 92109 rabbi@chabadpb.org chabadpb.org (619) 333-0344 Rosh Hashanah Sept. 9: 7 p.m. Evening Service, followed by community dinner (R.S.V.P. required) Sept. 10: 10 a.m. Morning Service 11:45 a.m. Shofar Sounding 2 p.m. Tashlich Service 6:50 p.m. Evening Service Sept. 11: 10 a.m. Morning Service 11:45 a.m. Shofar Sounding Yom Kippur Sept. 18: 6:45 p.m. Kol Nidrei Service Sept. 19: 10 a.m. Morning Service 12 p.m. Yizkor Memorial Service 5:30 p.m. Mincha Service 6:25 p.m. Neilah Closing Service

Chabad of Poway

16934 Chabad Way Poway, CA 92064 chabad@chabadpoway.com chabadpoway.com (858) 451-0455 Rosh Hashanah Sept. 9: 6:30 p.m. Evening Service Sept. 10: 10 a.m. Morning Service 11:30 a.m. Shofar Sounding 6:30 p.m. Evening Service Sept. 11: 10 a.m. Morning Service 11:30 a.m. Shofar Sounding 6:30 p.m. Evening Service Yom Kippur Sept. 18: 7 a.m. Morning Service 1:15 p.m. Afternoon Mincha Service 6:30 p.m. Kol Nidre Service Sept. 19: 10 a.m. Morning Service 12 p.m. Yizkor Memorial Service 4:30 p.m. Afternoon Service 5:30 p.m. Neilah Closing Service, followed by light refreshments

“Pray for the love of Jerusalem. Those who love her will find serenity.” — Psalm 122:6 May we be counted among those who pray for the peace of Jerusalem, and may serenity embrace Israel and all her people.

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Elul 5778 • Tishrei 5779 | SDJewishJournal.com 35

high holidays

listings

Chabad Alef Center of San Marcos 649 Sandy Ln. San Marcos CA, 92078 info@alefcenter.com alefcenter.com (760) 481-7503

Rosh Hashanah Sept. 9: 7 p.m. Evening services followed by apples and honey, with holiday dinner. R.S.V.P. required for dinner. Sept. 10: 10 a.m. Morning services and blowing of the Shofar followed by a Kiddush lunch and Tashlich ceremony Sept. 11: 10 a.m. Morning services and blowing of the Shofar

Yom Kippur Sept. 18: 5:30 p.m. Kol Nidre Sept. 19: 10 a.m. Morning and Yizkor services 5:30 p.m. Neilah services followed by a break-the-fast *There will be children’s programming during all services. $180 suggested donation, but no one will be turned away for lack of funds.

Chabad Scripps Ranch

10785 Pomerado Rd. San Diego, CA 92131 scrippsranchchabad@gmail.com chabaddiego.com (858) 547-0076 *Times of services were not available at press time. Email rabbi@chabadscrippsranch.org for information.

Chabad of University City 3813 Governor Dr. San Diego, CA 92122 yudell@chabaduc.org chabaduc.org (858) 455-1670

Rosh Hashanah Sept. 9: 6:30 p.m. Afternoon and evening services Sept. 10: 9:30 a.m. Morning service and Shofar 6 p.m. Afternoon service and Tashlich 7:15 p.m. Evening service Sept. 11: 9:30 a.m. Morning service and Shofar 6:30 p.m. Afternoon service Yom Kippur Sept. 18: 6:15 p.m. Late afternoon service 6:30 p.m. Kol Nidre and evening service Sept. 19: 10 a.m. Morning service 12:30 p.m. Yizkor 5 p.m. Afternoon service 6 p.m. Neilah *All services are free of charge and no reservation is required. There is a suggested donation of $180 that can be made online at chabadus. org/donate. Donations are not accepted during services. For the children’s program schedule, visit the website as well. All services are

ILLUSTRATION BY PEPÉ FAINBERG

36 SDJewishJournal.com | September 2018

held at the synagogue.

Chabad Jewish Center of Oceanside 1930 Sunset Drive Vista, CA 92081 info@jewishoceanside.com jewishoceanside.com (760) 806-7765

Rosh Hashanah Sept. 9: 6:30 p.m. Opening Service 7:30 p.m. Gala Holiday Dinner Sept. 10: 9:30 a.m. Morning Service 10:30 a.m. Junior Congregation 11:30 a.m. Shofar Blowing 12:45 p.m. Buffet Lunch 5:30 p.m. Family Experience Sept. 11: 9:30 a.m. Morning Service 10:30 a.m. Junior Congregation 11:30 a.m. Shofar Blowing 12:45 p.m. Buffet Lunch Yom Kippur Sept. 18: 6:30 p.m. Kol Nidrei Service Sept. 19: 9:30 a.m. Morning Service 10:30 a.m. Junior Congregation 12 p.m. Yizkor Memorial Service 5:30 p.m. Neilah Closing Service

Chabad Jewish Center of Rancho Santa Fe 5690 Cancha De Golf Rancho Santa Fe, CA 92091 chabadrsf@gmail.com jewishrsf.com (858) 756-7571

Rosh Hashanah Sept. 9: 6:30 p.m. Erev Rosh Hashanah Services, followed by dinner Sept. 10: 10 a.m. Morning Service 12 p.m. Kiddush Lunch Sept. 11: 10 a.m. Morning Service 12 p.m. Kiddush Lunch Yom Kippur Sept. 18: 6:30 p.m. Kol Nidrei Service Sept. 19: 10 a.m. Morning Service 12 p.m. Yizkor Memorial Service 5 p.m. Mincha/Neila Service For more information and to RSVP, jewishRSF.com, info@jewishRSF. com, 858-756-7571. Suggested donation is $180/person.

Chabad of the College Area

6115 Montezuma Road San Diego, CA 92115 jewishstudentlife@gmail.com

jewishstudentlife.org (619) 663-7701 *Times of services were not available at press time. Call for more information.

CONSERVATIVE

Congregation Beth Am

5050 Del Mar Heights Rd. San Diego CA, 92130 welcome@betham.com betham.com (858) 481-8454 Rosh Hashanah Sept. 9: 7:30 p.m. Erev Rosh Hashanah Sept. 10: 8:45 a.m. Morning Service 9:30 a.m. Family Tot Service (preschool-1st grade), open to community 7:30 p.m. Ma’ariv Service Sept. 11: 8:45 a.m. Morning Service 3 p.m. Walk to Fletcher Cove 6 p.m. Minha/Tashlich at Fletcher Cove, open to community Yom Kippur Sept. 18: 6 p.m. Kol Nidre 1st Service 8:15 p.m. Kol Nidre 2nd Service Sept. 19: 8:45 a.m. Morning Service 9:30 a.m. Family Tot Service (preschool-1st grade), open to community 4:30 p.m. Yizkor, open to community 5 p.m. Minha and Neila

Congregation Beth El 8660 Gilman Drive La Jolla CA, 92037 rabbiavi@cbe.org cbe.org (858) 452-1734

Rosh Hashanah Sept. 1: 7:30 p.m. Selichot Sept. 9: 6 p.m. Erev Rosh Hashanah service 7:30 p.m. Chai 20s/30s Erev Rosh Hashanah Service Sept. 10: 9 a.m. Shaharit: Morning Service 9:45 a.m. Torah Service 10 a.m. Family Service 10:45 a.m. Sounding of Shofar and Blessing of Newborns 11 a.m. Musaf: Holy Day Service 11 a.m. Youth and Teen Programs 11:30 a.m. Sermon

12 p.m. Teen Hangout in the Youth Lounge and Youth Extended Programming in the Children’s Shul 5 p.m. Tashlich Service and Picnic Dinner at La Jolla Shores Sept. 11: 9 a.m. Shaharit: Morning Service 9:15 a.m. Study Session with Rabbi Ron Shulman 9:15 a.m. Jewish Mindfulness with Dr. Oded Shezifi 9:15 a.m. Teshuvah: Personal Resolution and Return with Dr. Ellen Jacobs 9:30 a.m. Rosh HaShanah Hike – Offsite with Dr. Bard Cosman 10 a.m. Torah Service and Family Experience 10:45 a.m. Sounding of Shofar and Blessing our Generations 11 a.m. Youth Nosh and Drash 11:10 a.m. Sermon 11:30 a.m. Musaf: Holy Day Service 11:45 a.m. Study Session with Rabbi Avi Libman 12:30 p.m. Kiddush and Oneg Yom Kippur Sept. 18: 6 p.m. Kol Nidre – Erev Yom Kippur Service 6:45 p.m. Kol Nidre Family Service 8:30 p.m. Chai 20s/30s Kol Nidre Service 8:30 p.m. Inspiration – A Musical Kol Nidre Experience Sept. 19: 9 a.m. Shaharit: Morning Service 10 a.m. Torah Service 10 a.m. Family Service 11 a.m. Youth and Teen Programs 11 a.m. Yizkor Memorial Prayers 11:30 a.m. Musaf: Holy Day Service 12 p.m. Sermon 12 p.m. Youth Aftercare Children’s Shul and Teen Hangout in the Youth Lounge 2:30 p.m. Yom Kippur Study Sessions 3:15 p.m. Ask the Rabbi 4:30 p.m. Minhah: Afternoon Service 5:45 p.m. Martyrology: Memory and History 6:15 p.m. Neilah: Concluding Service 6:30 p.m. Neilah Family Experience (Be sure to bring your Shofar!) 7:15 p.m. Concluding Ceremony Elul 5778 • Tishrei 5779 | SDJewishJournal.com 37

at Eternal Hills, Oceanside

high holidays

listings

7:30 p.m. Conclusion of Fast

Congregation B’nai Shalom 201 E. Broadway Vista, CA 92084 bnaishalomsd@gmail.com bnaishalomsd.org (760) 806-4766

Rosh Hashanah Sept. 8: 8 p.m. Film TBD 9:30 p.m. Selichot Service Sept. 9: 8 p.m. Erev Rosh Hashanah Service Sept. 10: 9 a.m. Young Children and Family Service 9 a.m. Traditional Service 10 a.m. Alternative Service 5 p.m. Tashlich at Walnut Creek Civic Park 6:30 p.m. Mincha and Ma’ariv Services Sept. 11: 9 a.m. Preliminary Service and Shacharit Yom Kippur Sept. 18: 6:30 p.m. Kol Nidrei Sept. 19: 10 a.m. Young Children and Family Service 10 a.m. Traditional Service 11 a.m. Alternative Service 4 p.m. Discussion Groups 5:15 p.m. Yizkor Memorial Service and Mincha Service 6:30 p.m. Ne’ilah

Congregation B’nai Tikvah 2510 Gateway Road Carlsbad, CA 92009 info@bnaitikvahsd.com bnaitikvahsd.com (760) 650-2262

Rosh Hashanah Sept. 9: 7 p.m. Evening service Sept. 10: 9 a.m. Morning service 11:15 a.m. Children’s service 2:30 p.m. Tashlich beach service Sept. 14: 7 p.m. Evening service Sept. 15: 10 a.m. Morning service Sept. 16: 10 a.m. Memorial service 38 SDJewishJournal.com | September 2018

One of my favorite memories of the High Holy Days is from several years ago, leading services at Temple EmanuEl of Honolulu. Before beginning the prayers, several congregants approached the bimah and presented me with the most deliciously aromatic leis, which were placed around my neck, over my Tallit. Throughout the service, I was breathing in this gift of creation and it sweetened my experience immeasurably. Additionally, a young woman in the congregant sang a solo of the prayer Retsei, accompanying herself on the yukelele. I had never thought of it as a spiritualsounding instrument, but the unexpected sound was truly captivating. Finally, along with the Baal Tekiah (shofar blower), a few children participated in the shofar service by sounding conch shells. All told, it was a most memorable Rosh Hashanah, and I thank the congregants for making it so.

— Rabbi Lenore Bohm

Yom Kippur Sept. 18: 7 p.m. Kol Nidre Sept. 19: 9 a.m. Morning service 11 a.m. Yizkor 11:15 a.m. Children’s service 1:30 p.m. Meditative break 4:30 p.m. Minhah 5:30 p.m. Ne’ila 7 p.m. Break the fast

Ner Tamid Synagogue

15318 Pomerado Road Poway, CA 92064 info@nertamidsd.org nertamidsd.org (858) 513-8330 Rosh Hashanah Sept. 9: 7 p.m. Erev Rosh Hashanah Sept. 10: 8:45 a.m. Rosh Hashanah Day 1 10:30 a.m. Children’s Service Sept. 11: 8:45 a.m. Rosh Hashanah Day 2 Yom Kippur Sept. 18: 6 p.m. Kol Nidrei Sept. 19: 8:45 a.m. Shacharit 10:30 a.m. Children’s Service 4 p.m. Mincha

Ohr Shalom Synagogue 2512 Third Ave. San Diego, CA 92103 office@ohrshalom.org ohrshalom.org (619) 231-1456

Rosh Hashanah Sept. 9: 6 p.m. Erev Rosh Hashanah Services Sept. 10: 8:30 a.m. Morning Service I 5 p.m. Tashlich Sept. 11: 8:30 a.m. Morning Service II Yom Kippur Sept. 18: 6 p.m. Kol Nidre Sept. 19: 8:30 a.m. Shachrit Service 1 p.m. Yom Kippur Discussion 3 p.m. Minchah and Neilah 7:30 p.m. Break the Fast

Temple Beth Shalom

208 Madrona St. Chula Vista, CA 91910 arlenelagary@yahoo.com bethshalomtemple.com (619) 420-6040

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Efrayim saves lives every day, but he doesn’t do it alone. Gifts such as yours help to mobilize our EMTs and paramedics who carry more than 700,000 Israeli’s to safety each year. We’re Israel’s emergency medical and ambulance service, Magen David Adom. Together, we’ll make this New Year a healthy one for millions of Israelis. Please give today. Shanah Tovah. Saving lives. It’s in our blood – and it’s in yours, too.

Save a life in Israel with a gift to support Magen David Adom. Donate on AFMDA.com/give or call 800.323.2371

Elul 5779 • Tishrei 5779 | SDJewishJournal.com 39

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listings

Rosh Hashanah Sept. 9: 7:30 p.m. Selichot Services Sept. 10: 9:30 a.m. Morning service 11:30 a.m. Children’s service 4:30 p.m. Tashlich at the J. St. Chula Vista Bay 6 p.m. Afternoon and evening services 6:30 p.m. Dinner * Adults $25, children $15 Sept. 11: 9:30 a.m. Morning service 6:30 p.m. Afternoon and evening services 7:30 p.m. Shabbat Shuvah Yom Kippur Sept. 18: 6:30 p.m. Kol Nidre Sept. 19: 10 a.m. Morning service 11 a.m. Children’s services 4:30 p.m. Healing service 5 p.m. Study of Jonah 5:45 p.m. Afternoon service 6:30 p.m. Closing service 7:30 p.m. Break-the-fast *$150 per adult. Tickets required.

Tifereth Israel Synagogue

6660 Cowles Mountain Blvd. San Diego CA, 92119 program@tiferethisrael.com tiferethisrael.com (619) 697-6001 Rosh Hashanah Sept. 1: 8 p.m. Selichot Services Sept. 9: 5 p.m. Family Service 6:15 p.m. Erev Rosh Hashanah Services Sept. 10: 9 a.m. Morning Service I 5 p.m. Tashlich Sept. 11: 9 a.m. Morning Service II Yom Kippur Sept. 18: 6:15 p.m. Kol Nidre Service Sept. 19: 9 a.m. Morning Service 4:15 p.m. Mincha 5:35 p.m. Neilah

40 SDJewishJournal.com | September 2018

This was in 1961 or so at my grandparents’ home. I was always jealous of my brother because he got to wear a yarmulke. (This was before girls were bat mitzvah or even went to Hebrew School. At least in my town…)

— Toni Robin

ORTHODOX

Congregation Adat Yeshurun

8625 La Jolla Scenic Drive North La Jolla, CA 92037 info@adatyeshurun.org adatyeshurun.org (858) 535-1196 Rosh Hashanah Sept. 9: 6 a.m. Selichot/Shacharis 6:35 p.m. Mincha Sept. 10: 8 a.m. Shacharis 11 a.m. Shofar 6:10 p.m. Mincha Sept. 11: 8 a.m. Shacharis 11 a.m. Shofar 6 p.m. Mincha Yom Kippur Sept. 18: 6 a.m. Selichot 2:30 p.m. Mincha 6:30 p.m. Kol Nidre Sept. 19: 8 a.m. Shacharis 12:00 p.m. Yizkor 5 p.m. Neilah *Nonmember adults cost $195, which includes both Holidays. Adult pricing is for anyone older than 18 who is not a full-time college student. College students and active duty military are free. Nonmember children ages 3-12 cost $54 per child with a family maximum of $120 (fees increase to $69 per child and family maximum

of $150 if reservations for the children’s program are made after the deadline. Children ages 1318 are free. Congregation Beth El requires passes to walk through the property for High Holiday services. For more information, visit adatyeshurun.org.

Beth Jacob Congregation 4855 College Ave San Diego, CA 92115 office@bjsd.org bjsd.org (619) 287-9890

Rosh Hashanah Sept. 9: 6 p.m. Candle lighting 6:45 p.m. Mincha/Maariv Learner service Sept. 10: 7:45 a.m. Shacharis 10 a.m. Learner service, teen service and children’s program, followed by lunch. 10:45 a.m. Shofar 6:45 p.m. Mincha/Maariv 7:44 p.m. Light candles Sept. 11: 7:45 a.m. Shacharis 10 a.m. Learner service, teen service and children’s program, followed by lunch. 10:45 a.m. Shofar 6:45 p.m. Mincha/Maariv Sept. 15: 7:45 or 8:45 a.m. Shacharis 5 p.m. Shabbos Shuva Drasha 6:20 p.m. Mincha 7:37 p.m. Shabbos ends Yom Kippur Sept. 18: 6 a.m. or 7 a.m. Shacharis 2 p.m. Mincha 6:20 p.m. Candle lighting 6:30 p.m. Kol Nidre Sept. 19: 8 a.m. Shacharis 10:30 a.m. Learner service and children’s program 11:30 a.m. Yizkor 4:30 p.m. Mincha 6 p.m. Neilah 7:42 p.m. Yom Kippur ends with break-fast refreshments *Tickets are complimentary. Due to security concerns, all programs, including children’s lunches, require advance registration by Sept. 10.

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Free Birthday Cake!

Sunday, September 9th, 5:00 p.m.

Let’s celebrate the birthday of the world at a complimentary, relaxed, casual, and brief family-friendly Rosh Hashana experience open to all! And then, we’ll all enjoy birthday cake! Although there is no charge your RSVP will help us be ready to greet you. Email programrsvp@tiferethisrael.com or call our office at 619 697-6001.

On behalf of the Tifereth Israel Family we wish that this New Year be filled with good health, great happiness, and abundant blessings. Our High Holy Day services will be led by Rabbi Joshua Dorsch and Cantor Hanan Leberman. A wide variety of exciting and engaging programs for children and teens will be available. To learn about all of our High Holy Day services and celebrations visit our site or phone our office.

6660 Cowles Mountain Boulevard San Diego, California 92119 • 619 697-6001

www.tiferethisrael.com Elul 5778 • Tishrei 5779 | SDJewishJournal.com 41

WINE: Rosh Hashanah Wines

Rosh Hashanah Wines | BY ANDREW BRESKIN |

fter a long, warm summer here in San Diego, we are immediately faced with the upcoming “Holiday Season.” Beginning with Rosh Hashanah, the fall festivals will extend for three weeks, culminating with the observance of Sukkot. As the weeks pass and the holidays progress, the mood changes as well. From the contemplative and deliberative mood of the New Year, to the festive atmosphere of the latter holidays, how we feel dictates how we select and enjoy our wines. After a particularly enjoyable visit to several important California kosher wineries this summer, the mood that I would like to harness going into the holidays would certainly be gratitude. Not only for the lovely hospitality and friendship, but also to acknowledge the incredible hard work that goes into producing such a sacred beverage: the intense physical labor, endless time in the car, only to spend more time in the sun. The emotional toll and the financial weight. Artisans who must also be entrepreneurs, who spend their money on premium fruit and oak barrels, before spending on themselves. It’s a labor of love, but I’m sure they wouldn’t have it any other way. These selections honor their sacrifice and courage.

2016 Shirah Winery Bro.Deux From a winery known for their Syrah based wines and single vineyard series, one of my personal favorites is their high octane take on the classic white Bordeaux blend. The two Weiss brothers (get it - Bro Deux) add their trademark flair to this otherwise tried and true expression of White Bordeaux, in this case, 100 percent Sauvignon Blanc.

2015 La Fenetre Chardonnay by Timbre Winery After stepping away from the restaurant business at the peak of his award-winning career as a sommelier, Josh Klapper fell in love with winemaking. Always looking for more challenges, with the suggestion of his father, he decided to make some kosher wines as well. This stunning Chardonnay from Santa Maria shows the rich California style with some elegance and polish that we’re used to from traditional winemaking regions.

2016 Blue C Covenant Wines Israel My first experience with the Israeli wines from Covenant, the Napa kosher winery turned Urban Winery in Berkeley, turned international winery with a sister location in Israel: this is a Syrah and Cabernet Sauvignon blend that aims to please, perfectly approachable and wonderfully complex. Stunning packaging with an homage to the blue and white flag of Israel.

2016 Hajdu Wines Petite Sirah This is a generous, full flavored grape that usually makes a nice introduction into wine for novices, but has a cult following for real California wine lovers as well (see the grape’s fan club entitled “PS I love you” –PS standing for Petite Sirah). Award winning winemaker Jonathan Hajdu, recently named Top 40 Under 40 by Wine Enthusiast Magazine, has been producing this varietal for nearly a decade and this vintage is as good as ever. A Andrew Breskin is the Founder of LiquidKosher and is the host of the Kosher Sommelier Podcast. 42 SDJewishJournal.com | September 2018

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Elul 5778 • Tishrei 5779 | SDJewishJournal.com 43

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listings

Congregation Kehillas Torah

14133 Via Alisal San Diego, CA 92128 bledermansdccd@gmail.com kehillastorah.org (858) 829-9648 Rosh Hashanah Sept. 9: 6 p.m. Evening service Sept. 10: 9 a.m. Morning service Sept. 11: 9 a.m. Morning service Yom Kippur Sept. 18: 6 p.m. Kol Nidre Sept. 19: 9 a.m. Morning service 5 p.m. Evening service *Cost is $135 per person, free for active duty military. Childcare is available. All services take place at Residence Inn, Rancho Carmel Dr., San Diego 92128.

Orot HaCarmel

11860 Carmel Creek Road San Diego CA, 92130 rabbirock@orothacarmel.org orothacarmel.org (858) 633-0181 *Times of services were not available at press time. Call 858633-0181 for more information.

Young Israel of San Diego

7291 Navajo Rd. San Diego CA, 92119 info@yisandiego.org yisandiego.org (619) 589-1447 *Times of services were not available at press time. Cost for High Holiday services for members is included in membership. Nonmembers and guests can contact info@yisandiego.org or call (619) 589-1447 for cost and registration.

REFORM

Congregation Beth Israel 9001 Towne Centre Dr. San Diego, CA 92122

44 SDJewishJournal.com | September 2018

I love the tradition

of welcoming in a new year with sweetness. No matter where in the world I am, I always manage to have apples and honey on Rosh Hashanah. Why an apple? Because of its sweetness, and its reference to the Garden of Eden (though that allusion isn’t so great for women). For a sexier interpretation, how about the Song of Songs (8:5), where Solomon says, “Beneath the apple tree I aroused you.” It’s a mitzvah on Rosh Hashanah, right? This year, I’ll be in Japan, and I’m sure I’ll be dipping an apple in honey, somehow, somewhere. Here’s to a sweet New Year for us all!

— Pat Launer

cbi@cbisd.org cbisd.org (858) 535-1111 Rosh Hashanah Sept. 1: 7 p.m. – 9:15 p.m. Selichot Service Sept. 9: 6 p.m. Generational Service with livestream* 8:30 p.m. Late Evening Service with livestream* Sept. 10: 8 a.m. Café Beth Israel (until 12 p.m.) 8:30 a.m. Generational Service*. 11:30 a.m. Late Morning Service with livestream* 4 p.m. Tot Rosh Hashanah 5:30 p.m. Teen Gathering at La Jolla Shores 6 p.m. Tashlich Service and TRIBE Potluck at La Jolla Shores Sept. 11: 9:30 a.m. Second Day Morning Service 11:30 a.m. Light Kiddush Luncheon Sept. 16: 11 a.m. Kever Avot Memorial Services in Sol Stone Chapel at Cypress View Mausoleum 12:30 p.m. Park Chapel at El Camino Memorial Park Yom Kippur Sept. 18: 6 p.m. Early Evening Service with livestream* 8:30 p.m. Late Evening Service* Sept. 19: 8:30 a.m. Generational Service* 11:30 a.m. Late Morning Service with livestream* 2:30 – 3:30 p.m. Contemporary Confessions with livestream* 4 p.m. – 5 p.m. Afternoon Service with livestream* 5:15 p.m. Yizkor and Neilah Services with livestream. 6:30 p.m. Break the Fast 8 p.m. TRIBE** Community Break the Fast (location TBA) *Tickets are required for service. Nonmember cost for all services is $300 for adults, $100 for children up to age 17, military and students up to age 26 are free. Nonmember cost for Rosh Hashanah or Yom Kippur only are $175 for adults, $70 for children up to age 17, and free for military and students up to age 26. Per-service cost for

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high holidays

listings

nonmembers is $90 for adults, $40 for children up to age 17. Childcare is available for children aged 2-6 at no cost, but reservation is required. Ticket and childcare reservations can be made through Edie Winchester at ewinchester@cbisd. org or (858) 535-1111.

Temple Adat Shalom

15905 Pomerado Rd. Poway CA, 92064 info@adatshalom.com adatshalom.com (858) 451-1200 Rosh Hashanah Sept. 9: 7:30 p.m. Erev Rosh Hashanah Service Sept. 10: 8:30 a.m. Traditional Service 10 a.m. Teen Worship Service 11:30 a.m. Contemporary Service 2:30 p.m. Children’s Service 4 p.m. Tashlich at Lake Poway Sept.11: 10 a.m. Second Day Service Yom Kippur Sept. 18: 7:30 p.m. Kol Nidre Service Sept. 19: 10 a.m. Morning Service 1 p.m. Children’s Service 2:30 p.m. Adult Discussion 3:30 p.m. Afternoon Service/Yizkor/ Neilah *Tickets required unless otherwise noted.

Temple Emanu-El

6299 Capri Drive San Diego CA, 92120 temple@teesd.org teesd.org (619) 286-2555 Rosh Hashanah Sept. 9: 7 p.m. Erev Rosh Hashanah Service Sept. 10: 10 a.m. Rosh Hashanah Morning Service

46 SDJewishJournal.com | September 2018

2:30 p.m. Family Service (for all ages) 5 p.m. Tashlich Ceremony and Picnic at Lake Murray Yom Kippur Sept. 18: 7 p.m. Erev Yom Kippur – Kol Nidre Sept. 19: 10 a.m. Yom Kippur Morning Service 1:30 p.m. Yom Kippur Limmud (Learning) 1:30 p.m. Family Service (for all ages) 3 p.m. Afternoon Service 4:30 p.m. Yizkor Memorial Service 5:30 p.m. Neilah. Break the Fast following (reservations required) *Tickets are required for all attendees aged older than 13 except for family services (which are free.) Cost is $360 for unaffiliated guests and unaffiliated family members of temple members, $180 for seniors (75 and older), $72 for young adults aged 13-25. University students and active duty military are free. URJ-affiliated families may obtain reciprocal tickets at no charge, but proof of synagogue membership is required. Break-fast is $25 per adult, $12 per child 3-12, children younger than 3 are free. Dinner reservations must be made by Sept. 11.

Temple Etz Rimon

2020 Chestnut Ave. Carlsbad CA, 92008 info@templeetzrimon.org templeetzrimon.org (760) 929-9503 Rosh Hashanah Sept. 9: 7 p.m Erev Rosh Hashanah Sept. 10: 10 a.m. Morning service 2:30 p.m. Tashlich at Tamarack State Beach Yom Kippur Sept. 18: 7 p.m. Kol Nidre Sept. 19: 10 a.m. Morning service, 4 p.m. Afternoon service, 5:15 p.m. Yizkor *The cost for nonmembers is $218 per adult for all services. Services, unless otherwise noted, take place

at Pilgrim Church at 2020 Chestnut Ave, Carlsbad.

Temple Solel

3575 Manchester Ave. Cardiff-By-The-Sea CA, 92007 info@templesolel.net jbricker@templesolel.net templesolel.net (760) 436-0654 Rosh Hashanah Sept. 9: 7:30 p.m. Erev Rosh Hashanah, tickets required Sept. 10: 8:30 a.m. Early Service, tickets required 11:45 a.m. Late Service, tickets required 3 p.m. Young Family & Children’s service (K-3rd) 4:30 p.m. Tashlich & Congregational Picnic at Moonlight Beach Sept. 11: 10 a.m. Second Day service Yom Kippur Sept. 18: 7:30 p.m. Kol Nidre, tickets required Sept. 19: 8:30 a.m. Early Morning Service, tickets required 11:45 a.m. Late Morning Service, tickets required 3 p.m. Children’s Service (K-3rd grade) 4 p.m. Afternoon Service 5:15 p.m. Yizkor Service 5:45 p.m. Concluding Service with Havdallah 6:15 p.m. Break the Fast

SEPHARDIC

Congregation Beth Eliyahu

5012 Central Ave., Suite C Bonita, CA 91902 rabbi@betheliyahu.com betheliyahu.org (619) 472-2144 *Times of services were not available at press time. Call 619472-2144 for more information.

Magen Abraham Sephardic Synagogue

Inside Chabad Hebrew Academy in Scripps Ranch 10875 Pomerado Road San Diego, CA 92131 magenabraham.org (619) 277-0380

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Elul 5778 â&#x20AC;˘ Tishrei 5779 | SDJewishJournal.com 47

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Hashanah dinner for members costs $42 per adult/$18 per child with a $120 maximum per family of five. Nonmembers costs $54 per adult/$26 per child with no family maximum.

JEWISH RENEWAL AND RECONSTRUCTIONIST Yom Kippur Sept. 18: 6 p.m. Sept. 19: 7:30 a.m. to 7 p.m. *Services at the Marriott La Jolla across from UTC mall

Kehillat Shaat HaShamayim

3232 Governor Drive, Suite K San Diego, CA 92122 rabbi@rabbiyoni.com kshsd.org (858) 752-1025 Rosh Hashanah Sept. 9: 7 a.m. Selichot 8 a.m. Shacharit 8:40 a.m. Annulment of Vows 6 p.m. Mincha 6:13 p.m. Candle lighting 6:30 p.m. Arvit 8:15 p.m. Dinner, R.S.V.P. required Sept. 10: 8 a.m. Shacharit 11:15 a.m. Shofar 5:30 p.m. Mincha 6 p.m. Tashlich in Rose Canyon 7 p.m. Arvit Sept. 11: 8 p.m. Shacharit 11:15 a.m. Shofar 6 p.m. Mincha 7 p.m. Arvit 7:05 p.m. Havdalah Yom Kippur Sept. 18: 6:15 a.m. Selichot 7:15 a.m. Shacharit 8:40 a.m. Hatarat Nedarim 9 a.m. Kapparot 1:15 p.m. Early Mincha 6:01 p.m. Candle lighting 6 p.m. Kol Nidre Sept. 19: 8 a.m. Shacharit 12:30 p.m. Hashkavah Kelalit/ Yizkor 5 p.m. Neilah 6:56 p.m. Havdalah *All services are free of charge but require R.S.V.P. to be made through the website. Rosh

48 SDJewishJournal.com | September 2018

Congregation Dor Hadash

11860 Carmel Creek Road San Diego, CA 92130 administrator1@dorhadash.org dorhadash.org (858) 268-3674 Rosh Hashanah Sept. 9: 7 p.m. Evening service. Sept. 10: 9:30 a.m. Morning service Sept. 11: 9:30 a.m. Morning service. Yom Kippur Sept. 18: 7 p.m. Kol Nidre Sept. 9: 9:30 a.m. Morning Service 4:30 p.m. Afternoon/Evening Service. 6:15 p.m. Yizkor

meditation, Torah learning and celebration Yom Kippur Sept. 18: 6:30 p.m. The most soulful service of the Jewish year Sept. 19: 9 a.m. Prayer, meditation, Torah learning, memorial prayers, deep introspection 3:30 p.m. Mincha guided meditation and centering prayer, plus healing service with prayers and meditations for healing of body, soul and spirit The Earth ritual with prayers for the healing of the planet 5:30 p.m. Evening closing service with personal prayers, blessing of the children, sounding of the Shofar and sweet treats for the New Year *Services take place at The Redeemer Church (formerly The North Coast Presbyterian Church) located at 1831 S. El Camino Real. A small fee is required. Call (760) 943-8370 for information.

*Services are held on the second floor of SDJA. First time guests are free. Cost is $225/Adult, $75/ Seniors, active military is free. Parking is limited.

Shir Ha-Yam

4618 Rueda Drive San Diego, CA 92124 rhondmason@aol.com sandiegojewishrenewal.org (619) 251-4618 *Times of services were not available at press time. Contact rhondmason@aol.com for cost and details.

The Elijah Minyan

3207 Cadencia St. La Costa, CA 92009 wdosick@aol.com sandiegojewishrenewal.org (760) 943-8370 Rosh Hashanah Sept. 9: 7:30 p.m. Greet the new year in joy and thanksgiving Sept. 10: 9 a.m. Joyous prayer, meditation, Torah learning and celebration 5 p.m. Tashlich at Moonlight Beach Sept. 11: 9 a.m. Joyous prayer,

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HUMANISTIC

Kahal Am: The Humanistic Jewish Community of San Diego president.kahalam@gmail.com kahalam.org (858) 549-3088

Rosh Hashanah Sept. 9: 7 p.m. Erev Rosh Hashanah service in the Escala Clubhouse, 2840 Clubhouse Lane, San Diego CA 92108 Sept. 10: 10:30 a.m. Tashlich at Ventura Cove, right side of 1100 block West Mission Bay Dr. Yom Kippur Sept. 19: 5:30 p.m. Kol Nidre, Nizkor at Escala Clubhouse, 2840 Clubhouse Lane, San Diego CA 92108. Beak-fast potluck to follow. *Live music and open discussion will accompany each service, as will an oneg refreshment for the Rosh Hashanah program. Information for break-fast potluck is on the website. Intercultural and LGBT guests and families are most welcome. Registration and payment requested by Sept. 15. Admittance will be by reservation only in order to ensure a required parking permit. Handicapped parking slots are available upon direct request to Gary Zarnow, gary@kahalam.org, by Sept. 19. Ticket prices are for 1, 2, or 3 celebrations: adult guests $40; young adults 16-28 $25, under 16 free. The Children’s HH program is free. Reservations and payment can be made on the Kahal Am website. Bring a chair for the Tashlich event.

50 SDJewishJournal.com | September 2018

It was Erev Rosh Hashanah on a balmy fall evening in 1947, and the bravest (or maybe the most defiant) members of the Jewish community were gathered in the courtyard of our Synagogue, where a few months earlier I became Bat Mitzvah, along with four of my classmates. It had been a secret ceremony held in spite of the prohibition of religious expression by the Soviet occupiers of my birthplace, the city of Brasov in Transylvania, Romania, whose troops and Secret Service had been terrorizing us since the end of World War II in 1945. Although all religions were outlawed, only Jews were arrested for daring to pursue theirs. That’s why it took chutzpah to show up that evening, even though it was done cautiously, with only familiar people let into the courtyard after their coded knock on the massive gate manned by several young men. As we waited for the doors to the Synagogue to open, I squirmed out of my mother’s protective arm and threaded my way among the crowd, looking for other kids—something I had never done, not even before the war. An overprotected only child, I was surprised by my audacity and even more mystified by the excitement and strange anticipation I felt throughout my body, instead of the unrelieved cold fear I was used to living with. Not until I came across Steven,

standing alone by the wall, with his high school cap tilted back on his auburn curls, that my strange feelings began to make sense. I had been admiring Steven from afar whenever I passed the boys’ high school that was across the street from our apartment building. He was usually playing soccer or running track and I was both hoping and fearing he would notice me. “Hag sameach,” he said, lifting his hand in greeting. “Same to you,” I answered, suddenly feeling different… sort of new… not a kid but his peer; even though that was ridiculous since I was 12 and a half and he was a high school boy. But the feelings persisted while we exchanged a few words. In fact, they continued even after my mother found me, and all through the service and the next day and the next... Of course, the icy cold fear did return and kept its grip on most of the population— especially the Jews. It only let go of my mother and me when in 1950 we managed to escape the Soviet occupation and our native country’s relentless anti-Semitism by making Aliah to Israel. The rest of our family and friends soon followed.

—Dina Eliash Robinson

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Elul 5778 • Tishrei 5779 | SDJewishJournal.com 51

CHABAD

Chabad of Palm Desert high holidays

listings

REFORM

Congregation Havurim

29500 Via Princesa Murrieta, CA 92563 congregationhavurim@gmail.com havurim.org (951) 387-5018 Rosh Hashanah Sept. 9: 7 p.m. Erev service Sept. 10: 10 a.m. Morning service 4 p.m. Tashlich at the Temecula duck pond Yom Kippur Sept. 18: 7 p.m. Kol Nidre Sept. 19: 9 a.m. Young children’s service 10:30 a.m. Adult service *Services at the Temecula United Methodist Church located at 42690 Margarita Rd, Temecula, CA 92592. To reserve tickets please contact congregationhavurim. membership@gmail.com.

73550 Santa Rosa Way Palm Desert, CA 92260 info@chabadpd.com chabadpd.com (760) 651-2424 *Service information was not available by press time. Call or check online for information.

Chabad of Palm Springs and the Desert Communities 425 Avenida Ortega Palm Springs, CA 92263 info@chabadps.com chabadps.com (760) 325-0774

*Service information was not available by press time. Call or check online for information.

Chabad of Rancho Mirage — The Torah Oasis 72295 Via Marta Rancho Mirage, CA 92270 chabadrm.com (760) 272-1924

Rosh Hashanah Sept. 9: 7:15 p.m. Evening Service followed by Community Dinner, reservation required

Sept. 10: 9:30 a.m. Morning Service 11:30 a.m. Shofar Blowing 6:30 p.m. Afternoon Services 6:45 p.m. Tashlich 7:45 p.m. Evening Services Sept. 11: 9:30 a.m. Morning Services 11:30 a.m. Shofar Blowing 6:30 p.m. Afternoon Services Yom Kippur Sept. 18: 6:15 p.m. Kol Nidrei Sept. 19: 9:30 a.m. Morning Services 12:30 p.m. Yizkor Memorial Service 5 p.m. Mincha 6 p.m. Neilah Closing Service, followed by Break the Fast buffet *All Yom Kippur services held at Westin Mission Hills Resort

REFORM

Temple Sinai of Palm Desert

73251 Hovley Lane W. Palm Desert, CA 92260 jfeldstein@templesinaipd.org templesinaipd.org (760) 568-9699 Rosh Hashanah Sept. 1: 6:30 p.m. Dessert Program, Havdalah, and S’lichot T’fillah in the Nash Sanctuary

UNAFFILIATED

Congregation B’nai Chaim Cantor Joseph Lutman 29500 Via Princesa Murrieta CA, 92563 bnaichaim1@gmail.com bnaichaim.com (951) 677-7350

Rosh Hashanah Sept. 9: 7 p.m. Erev service Sept. 10: 10 a.m. Morning service 4 p.m. Tashlich at the Temecula duck pond Sept. 11: 9:30 a.m. Morning Service Yom Kippur Sept. 18: 7 p.m. Kol Nidre Sept. 19: 9 a.m. Young children’s service 10:30 a.m. Adult service

PALM SPRINGS

52 SDJewishJournal.com | September 2018

ILLUSTRATION BY PEPÉ FAINBERG

B’nai Shalom Affiliated with United Synagogue of Conservation Judaism Serving San Diego and North County

Please Join Us For Our High Holiday Services 201 East Broadway, Vista CA 92084 Rosh Hashana Service: Sunday Sept. 9 at 7:30pm-Erev Service Monday Sept. 10 at 9:30am Tuesday Sept. 11 at 9:30am Yom Kippur: Tuesday Sept 18 at 7:00pm Wednesday Sept 19: 9:30am Conducting Services: 11:00am Yiskor Rabbi Hillel Silverman and Cantor Vladimir Staerman 2:00pm-5:00pm-Break 5:00pm-6:30pm-Neliah followed by break the fast

Our High Holiday tickets will be only $125.00 which includes the first year membership and privileges for new members only. For Full Service Schedule, Reservations, High Holiday Tickets or Event Inquiries

Please call Fern (760)659-6606 Visit our website at:

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Becoming a member supports SOHO’s constant and vigilant efforts to keep our neighborhoods and cities vital and healthy, and to safeguard our community’s quality of life and sense of place.

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Elul 5778 • Tishrei 5779 | SDJewishJournal.com 53

high holidays

listings

Sept. 9: 7:30 p.m. T’fillah in the Nash Sanctuary Sept. 10: 10 a.m. Adult T’fillah in the Nash Sanctuary (includes students grades 5 and up). Youth T’fillah and program for students grades k-4 takes place in the Goodman Chapel. Parents are welcome to attend. Ages 2-pre K program and supervised childcare is available in the Hirschberg Education Center. 4 p.m. Taschlich at Eisenhower Lake Yom Kippur Sept. 18 : 7:30 p.m. T’fillah in the Nash Sanctuary

Sept. 19: 10 a.m. Adult T’fillah in the Nash Sanctuary (includes students grades 5 and up). Youth T’fillah and program for students grades K-4 takes place in the Goodman Chapel. Parents are welcome to attend. Ages 2-pre K program and supervised childcare is available in the Hirschberg Education Center. 1:30 p.m. Study session with Rabbi Bentley 3:30 p.m. Afternoon T’fillah in the Nash Sanctuary 5 p.m. Memorial service 5:30 p.m. Evening service and Havdalah with break-the-fast immediately following. Reservations required. *Handicapped seating and hearing assistance devices will be available for all T’fillot.

info@tbstemecula.org tbstemecula.org (951) 679-0419 Rosh Hashanah Sept. 1: 6:30 p.m. Slichot services followed by Potluck Dinner, Havdalah and special service. Sept. 9: 7:30 p.m. Erev Rosh Hashanah Sept. 10: 10 a.m. Rosh Hashanah Day I 4:30 p.m. Tashlich at the Temecula Duck Pond (Corner of Ynez Road and Rancho California Road in Temecula) Sept. 11: 10 a.m. Morning service Yom Kippur Sept. 18: 6 p.m. Kol Nidre Sept. 19: 10 a.m. Morning service 5 p.m. Yizkor and Neilah followed by break-fast in conference room.

Temple Beth Sholom of Temecula: 26790 Ynez Ct. Suite B Temecula, CA 92591 (Temecula Valley Chamber of Commerce Building)

BY PEPÉ FAINBERG ILLUSTRATION ILLUSTRATION BY PEPÉ FAINBERG

54 SDJewishJournal.com | September 2018

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Elul 5778 • Tishrei 5779 | SDJewishJournal.com 55

LET US MAKE THE HOLIDAY EASIER FOR YOU Holiday Checklist: Rudish Challahs • Plain • Raisin Honey Cake Sponge Cake Assorted Babkas Marble Cake Rugelach Danish Noodle or Potato Kugels Strudel Assorted Cookies Matzo Balls Chopped Liver Sliced Brisket

Gefilte Fish Herrings Kishke Smoked White Fish Kasha Varnishkes Smoked Salmon (Lox) Stuffed Cabbage Variety of Kosher Wines Mini Knishes (Special Order) Sugar Free Cookies & Cheesecake

...and much, much more. Beautiful Platters That Will Make You Proud

TRADITIONAL ROSH HASHANAH DINNER You are invited to D.Z. Akin's for a traditional dinner served for Rosh Hashanah on Sunday, September 9 & Monday September 10, from 4:00-9:00p.m. Appetizers: Main Course: • Chopped Liver OR • Brisket of Beef OR Gefilte Fish Roasted Half Chicken • Challah OR Stuffed Cabbage Roll • Noodle Kugel AND Soup: Sweet Carrot Tzimmes • Matzo Ball Dessert: OR Kreplach Honey OR Sponge Cake

$25.95 Per Person $14.95 Children 12 & Under

Reservations Preferred

We wish You & Yours a Sweet, Prosperous & Healthy New Year.

- The Akin Family & Staff

619.265.0218

www.dzakinsdeli.com 6930 Alvarado Road, San Diego Sun.-Thurs. 7a.m. - 9 p.m. • Fri.-Sat. 7 a.m - 10 p.m. Serving Rosh Hashanah Dinners: Sun., Sept. 9 & Mon., Sept. 10 from 4:00-9:00pm YOM KIPPUR EVE HOURS, TUESDAY SEPT. 18 - Dining Room: 7am-3pm; Deli/Bakery: 7am-5pm; YOM KIPPUR: CLOSED WEDNESDAY SEPT 19

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Lisa@LisaOrlansky.com www.LisaOrlansky.com 56 SDJewishJournal.com | September 2018

Welcome to Artesian Ridge, Del Sur’s finest gated neighborhood. This 4,873 estimated square foot estate has 4 en suite bedrooms, a 4-car garage, and is on over an acre of land. Upon entering, you will immediately notice the gorgeous backyard and magnificent mountain views. The great room offers tall vaulted ceilings, vanishing sliding doors, and a large dining area. Enjoy the gourmet kitchen with a huge island, granite countertops, and top-of-the-line appliances. The media room provides a space for private enjoyment. Taste wine in the piano room. The large master suite has a spacious master bath and a custom closet. The backyard is the most spectacular part of this home, featuring a pool, spa, and waterfall with a 684 estimated square feet of outdoor living room and kitchen with a fireplace and BBQ. This home is powered by solar panels. Del Sur is in the top-rated Poway Unified School District. www.LisaOrlansky.com! Offered at $2,449,000. 2012© Coldwell Banker Real Estate LLC. Coldwell Banker® is a registered trademark licensed to Coldwell Banker Real Estate LLC. An Equal Opportunity Company. Equal Housing Opportunity. Owned & Operated By NRT LLC. BRE Lic#01333258

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58 SDJewishJournal.com | September 2018

CONNECT WITH SAN DIEGO’S

Jewish Community The International Unity Shabbat will take place in more than 1200 cities and 90 countries around the globe. For the first time, they’ve turbocharged Shabbat San Diego into a full week of exciting activities designed to strengthen our growing Jewish community. Now known as Jewish Xperience Week, this concentrated week will enable all Jewish organizations to offer numerous spiritual, cultural and social activities throughout the week. For more information, please visit: shabbatsandiego.org.

Jewish Community Foundation Planned Events • Celebrate Chai for ChaiSouthAfrica

Join us for tea to celebrate 18 years! ChaiSouthAfrica has been supporting the most vulnerable in Southern Africa for today and tomorrow.

• Prisoners Overcoming Obstacles &

OCT 21

Private home in La Jolla • Multi-Generational Philanthropy

Giving Smartly and Engaging OCT 22 Multiple Generations in the Process: 5:30 PM Lessons learned from the Cushman Foundation’s Making a Difference for San Diego Initiative. This multi-generational experience, which will be shared by the Cushman family, offers valuable insight into how to bridge philanthropy across multiple generations. Dinner will be served. Jewish Community Foundation Office • Should Jews Be Organ Donors?

A panel discussion on an important, yet sometimes controversial topic when viewed through a Jewish lens. Join us and hear first-hand from experts about how organ donation saves lives.

Creating Hope (POOCH)

Join us as we visit and witness firstOCT 23 hand how prisoners at the Richard J. 10:00 AM Donovan Correctional Facility are training service dogs for others in need, while simultaneously rehabilitating themselves as they prepare to re-enter society. Registration required by September 21, 2018. • Jewish and Genetic Disease:

Why testing for genetic disorders is important if you have Jewish ancestry 80% of babies with genetic diseases OCT 23 are born to parents with no known 5:30 PM family history of that disease. Join us for an after-work happy hour in partnership with JScreen to learn why early genetic screening is an important step in planning for a healthy family.

OCT 24 7:00 PM

In partnership with Congregation Beth Israel, La Jolla

To register for any of these programs, please email: anna@jcfsandiego.org or call (858) 279-2740

B R OUGHT TO Y OU BY:

858.279.2740 • info@jcfsandiego.org • www.jcfsandiego.org Elul 5778 • Tishrei 5779 | SDJewishJournal.com 59

high holidays FEATURE

APPLES AND HONEY | BY SYBIL KAPLAN |

ne of the most well known customs of Rosh Hashanah is the dipping of apple pieces in honey, but what is its origin? The Torah describes Israel as eretz zvat chalav u’dvash, the land flowing with milk and honey, although the honey was more than likely date honey, a custom retained by many Sephardic Jews to this day. The honey of ancient Eretz Yisrael was made from dates or grapes or figs or raisins because there were no domestic bees in the land. At that time only the Syrian bees were there and to extract honey from their combs it had to be smoked. Still, honey was of importance in Biblical times as there was no sugar at that time. During the Roman period, Italian bees were introduced to the Middle East, and bee honey was more common. Today, Israel has roughly 500 beekeepers who have some 90,000 beehives, which produce more than 3,500 tons of honey annually. Kibbutz Yad Mordechai is the largest producer of honey—10,000 bottles a day. Among Ashkenazic Jews, challah is 60 SDJewishJournal.com | September 2018

dipped in honey instead of having salt sprinkled on it for the blessing, then the blessing is given over the apple. “May it be Your will to renew for us a good and sweet year,” which is dipped in honey. Dipping the apple in honey on Rosh Hashanah is said to symbolize the desire for a sweet new year. Why an apple? In B'reishit, the book of Genesis, Israel compares the fragrance of his son, Jacob, to sadeh shel tappuchim, a field of apple trees. Some attribute the using of an apple to the translation of the story of Adam and Eve and the forbidden fruit, which caused the expulsion from paradise. According to Gil Marks (z”l) in the Encyclopedia of Jewish Food, “the first recorded association of apples with Rosh Hashanah was in Machzor Vitry, a siddur compiled around 1100, which included this explanation: ‘The residents of France have the custom to eat on Rosh Hashanah red apples….’Future generations of Ashkenazim adopted the French custom …leading to the most popular and widespread Ashkenazi Rosh Hashanah tradition.” Rabbi Jacob ben Asher, born around

1269 and fled with his family to Spain in 1303, was the first to mention the custom of apples dipped in honey in his legal compendium Arbah Turim, c. 1310, citing it as a German tradition. A few years ago, an article revealed that the average Israeli eats 125 apples and 750 grams of honey a year, mostly around the High Holy Days. Israel is very self-sufficient with regard to apples with around 9,900 acres cultivated yearly, grown in the North, the Galilee hills and the Golan Heights. The most popular types of apples grown are Golden Delicious, Starking, Granny Smith, Jonathan, Gala and Pink Lady. The word honey or dvash in Hebrew has the same numerical value as the words Av Harachamim, Father of Mercy. We hope that G-d will be merciful on Rosh Hashanah as He judges us for our year's deeds. Honey is used by Jews around the world not only for dipping apples but in desserts. Here are some recipes using honey for your Rosh Hashanah eating.

Two Layer Apple & Honey Cake

2 cups flour ¾ cup sugar 2 tsp. baking soda 1 tsp. salt 2 tsp. ground cinnamon ¼ tsp. ground cloves 1/8 tsp. ground nutmeg ¾ cup vegetable oil 2 large eggs 1/3 cup parve milk ½ cup honey 1 ½ tsp. vanilla extract 3 cups coarsely grated apples

TOFU CREAM CHEESE FROSTING 16 ounces tofu cream cheese ½ cup unsalted pareve margarine 1 cup confectioners’ sugar 2 tsp. vanilla extract 1 tsp. grated orange peel ½ cup honey 1. Preheat oven to 325° F. Prepare two 9-inch cake pans. 2. In a large bowl, whisk flour, sugar, baking soda, salt and spices. Form well in the center. 3. Add oil, eggs, milk, honey and vanilla. Whisk until moistened. Fold in apples. Spoon half into each baking pan. Bake in preheated 325° F. oven about 45 minutes or until a tester inserted into the center comes out clean. Cool. FROSTING 1. Beat cream cheese and margarine in a bowl until fluffy. 2. Add sugar, vanilla and orange peel. Add honey and beat until smooth. 3. Chill. 4. Place 1 cake flat side up on a serving dish. Spread with 1 cup frosting. Top with second layer, flat side down. Spread remaining frosting on top and sides of cake.

Tishpishti Middle Eastern Honey-Nut Cake Honey syrup 1 ½ cups honey 2/3 cup water 1/3 cup sugar 1/4 cup lemon juice Cake 2 cups finely ground almonds, hazelnuts, pistachios or walnuts 1 cup cake meal 2 tsp. orange juice 1 tsp. ground cinnamon ½ tsp. allspice or ground cloves 6 eggs 1 cup sugar ½ cup vegetable oil 1 Tbsp. grated orange or lemon zest

1. Stir honey, water, sugar and lemon juice in a saucepan over low heat. until the sugar dissolves, about 5 minutes. Increase heat to medium, bring to a boil and boil for 1 minute. Let cool. 2. Preheat oven to 350° F. Grease a 13x9-inch baking pan. 3. Combine nuts, cake meal, cinnamon and cloves in a mixing bowl. 4. In another bowl, beat egg yolks with sugar. Add to nut mixture with orange juice. Add oil and orange or lemon zest. 5. In a third bowl, beat egg whites until stiff but not dry. Fold into batter. 6. Pour batter into baking pan and bake in preheated 350 degree F. oven 45 minutes. Cool. 7. Cut cake into 1 to 2-inch squares or diamonds. Drizzle cooled syrup over the warm cake. Serve at warm or room temperature.

My Grandma Sade’s Teiglach My Grandmother was born in New Jersey, although her mother came to the States as a young girl from Russia so she probably learned this Eastern European dish from her mother. Teiglach means “little dough pieces” and was originally for family celebrations and various holidays. Today, it is made primarily for Rosh Hashanah as a symbol for the sweet New Year. My favorite reference book for any food is “Encyclopedia of Jewish Food” by Gil Marks (z”l) who wrote about teiglach, a food which was brought to the United States by Eastern Europeans in the early 1900s –although nuts were not part of the recipe in the “old country.” 2 ½ cups flour 1 tsp. baking powder 4 Tbsp. oil 4 eggs 1/8 tsp. salt ¾ cup brown sugar 1 1/3 cups honey 1 tsp. ground ginger ½ tsp. ground nutmeg 1 cup finely chopped pecans 1. In a mixing bowl, combine flour, baking powder, oil, eggs and salt. Stir until a dough is formed. 2. In a saucepan, boil sugar, honey, ginger and nutmeg for 15 minutes. 3. Wet a board with cold water. 4. Pinch pieces of dough and drop them into the boiling honey mixture. Cook until very thick. Add nuts and stir. Pour honeyed pieces onto the wet board and cool slightly. 5. With wet hands, shape dough into 2-inch balls or squares. Let cool. Store in an airtight container. Sybil Kaplan is a journalist, food writer and author who lives in Jerusalem. She created and leads weekly walks in Jerusalem’s Jewish food market, Machaneh Yehudah, in English. A

Elul 5778 • Tishrei 5779 | SDJewishJournal.com 61

FEATURE: JCC Film Fest

Joyce’s New Shorts

The First Jewish Short Film Festival in the World | BY LEORAH GAVIDOR | Joyce Axelrod has a long history with shorts. Now her 12-year-old custom of screening a day of short films, known as the Joyce Forum at the SDJFF, has taken over two calendar days and evolved into the first Jewish short film festival in the world—here in San Diego. With its own billing, the Joyce Forum Short Film Festival is a formalization of the popular tradition that’s been selling out seats for several years at La Jolla ArcLight Theatres. Curators of this year’s new short film festival previewed 130 films from 17 countries to whittle down the selection to 25. The selections will show Oct. 6 and 7 at the Lawrence Family JCC Garfield Theatre. Joyce has a special appreciation for short films and the filmmakers who pursue the medium. “It calls for a tight script,” she explained. “And in a short film, the ending leaves you with a memory, a strong impression, that might not be retained with a longer film.” She describes Russian trilogy “Witnesses,” by USSR-born San Diego filmmakers Irina and Konstantin Fam, with fondness and awe. The trilogy contains three shorts: "Shoes," "Brutus" and "Violin." "['Shoes']opens with a woman looking into a shop window at a beautiful pair of red shoes, in Warsaw, before World War II,” Joyce began. "The film follows the shoes, all the way to the common grave at Auschwitz. But you don’t see anyone’s face, and there’s no dialogue, for the whole film.” The next film, "Brutus," follows the journey of Brutus the German Shepherd, separated from his beloved master and trained to be a watchdog at a concentration camp. “Violin” traces the story of a 1900s violin that makes its way to a concert at the Wailing Wall. The trilogy has garnered international attention and “Shoes” has been incorporated by Yad Vashem, the Holocaust Museum in Jerusalem, as part of an education program for teenagers. Many Russian-Speaking Jews—Joyce said she’s heard the number is over 5,000—now call San Diego home. Konstantin, who was born in Pervomayskiy in 1972, is son of a Vietnamese father and a Russian Jewish mother. Joyce hopes that the premiere of “Witnesses,” in Russian with subtitles, will give Russian speakers a sense of community in their adopted home. Joyce herself adopted San Diego as her home after growing up in New Mexico. Born in a small town near Santa Fe, Joyce was the only Jewish girl in her school. Her family later moved to Albuquerque, where they found other Jewish families. Fast-forward through a life of adventures that included a teaching stint in Japan, to the early 1990s when she and Lynette Allen founded the San Diego Jewish Film Festival. Joyce’s new short festival features a collaboration with the Murray Galinson San Diego Israel Initiative to host two Israeli filmmakers for an artist-in-residence program. For two weeks, Moshe Rosenthal and Eli Rezik, both graduates of Tel Aviv University’s Cinema and Television program, will share their expertise and perspectives with San Diego students and community members through workshops, classes 62 SDJewishJournal.com | September 2018

A still from the film "Shoes."

Poster for the film "Ten Bell Tolls."

and panels at SDSU, UCSD and CSUSM. Rezik, an Arab Israeli born in Nazareth, will show his film, “Ten Bell Tolls,” in the festival. He has worked on feature films, including Oscar-nominated “Omar,” “The Beautiful Fantastic,” and “Villa Touma.” Rosenthal, from Holon, won best director at the 2016 Jerusalem short film festival for his short “Shabaton” (Leave of Absence). Local filmmaker and sketch artist Randall Christopher’s film, “The Driver is Red,” illustrated in pen and ink, will also premiere at the festival. Christopher, not Jewish himself, became interested in a story about the Holocaust when he read an article in the New York Times about a letter, released from archives, which Adolf Eichmann wrote to the president of Israel in 1962. In it, the Nazi collaborator begged for clemency. The film tells the story of the spy tactics the Mossad employed to track Eichmann down in Argentina. A small audience saw a live-acted preview, with violin accompaniment, last year at Verbatim Books. With hundreds of underwriters and a panel of jurors who will award prizes for Best Director and other categories, Joyce is grateful for the support and feels “fortunate to have stumbled into this project.” A

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Baked Apples in Pastry with Homemade Vanilla Ice Cream In South Africa, the holidays fall at the beginning of spring when the summer fruits are not generally in season. After a long winter of apples, oranges, guavas and passion fruit, these baked apples are something different to serve for dessert! The apple recipe is from an old friend of my mom’s who has since passed away. The ice cream recipe is from back in the day when you couldn’t buy a parev ice cream in Johannesburg, so people just made their own!

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4 small Granny Smith apples 1 box pastry cinnamon sugar raisins and golden raisins powdered sugar Wash and core apples. Place each apple on a square of pastry. Stuff the core with a mixture of cinnamon and raisins. Close the pastry around the apples to form a “parcel.” Bake at 375 for 45 minutes until a golden brown. When cool, drizzle the powdered sugar/ water mixture over apples.

HOMEMADE VANILLA ICE CREAM INGREDIENTS

4 eggs separated ¾ cup sugar 1 cup cream or dairy free cream vanilla essence

64 SDJewishJournal.com | September 2018

Beat egg yolks with 1/4 cup sugar until creamy and golden. Beat cream in a another bowl with 1/2 cup sugar until stiff. Gently fold together and add 1 tsp. vanilla. Lastly, add stiffly beaten egg whites and fold in. Pour into any mold, tin or bowl of your choice and freeze until needed.

Elul 5778 â&#x20AC;¢ Tishrei 5779 | SDJewishJournal.com 65

THEATER: San Diego Rep

Funereal Fun ‘n’ Games in “FUN HOME” | BY PAT LAUNER |

t all started with “Dykes to Watch Out For.” That was the provocative comic strip Alison Bechdel began drawing in 1983, chronicling the lives, loves and politics of a group of urban lesbians, featuring both cultural humor and biting topical commentary. It continued for 25 years, becoming one of the most successful and longest-running gay comic strips. And it gave rise to The Bechdel Test, a now widely-used set of criteria for determining gender bias in works of entertainment. The three critical questions are: 1) Does it have at least two [named] women in it… 2) who talk to each other…3) about something besides a man? Bechdel, like her central character, Mo Testa, is a politically-committed lesbian feminist. She’s always had a fascination with memory. That was the essence of “Fun Home,” the subtitled “tragicomic,” that brought Bech66 SDJewishJournal.com | September 2018

del international fame. The graphic memoir recounted her childhood and the years before and after her father’s suicide (at least she thinks it was a suicide). The book spent two weeks on the New York Times Bestseller List, Time ranked it #1 on its list of Ten Best Books of the Year and it was a finalist for the 2006 National Book Critics Circle Award for memoir/autobiography. But not everyone was amused or enthralled. In 2016, the Republican-led South Carolina House of Representatives Ways and Means Committee considered cutting the College of Charleston’s funding by $52,000 — the cost of the school’s summer reading program — for selecting “Fun Home” as the book all incoming freshmen should read. That was the same year the musical version of “Fun Home” was nominated for 12 Tony Awards and won five, including Best Musical.

Told as a series of time-hopping vignettes connected by narration provided by the adult Alison (there’s also a Small Alison, age 10, and a college-aged Medium Alison), the show, like the book, is a coming-of-age and coming-out story, a tale of a father-daughter relationship, and to a lesser degree, a mother-daughter relationship. Bechdel would explore that dynamic later in her second graphic memoir, “Are You My Mother?” “Fun Home” was the first Broadway musical with a lesbian protagonist. The score, with music by Jeanine Tesori and book and lyrics by Lisa Kron, made history as the first all-woman team to win a Tony Award for Best Original Score (Kron also won for Best Book of a Musical). Bechdel could not have found better interpreters than writer Lisa Kron and composer Jeanine (née Levenson) to re-conceive her story for the stage. Both women conncect their interest in theater to early Jewish experiences. Tesori, the most prolific and honored

at the San Diego Repertory Theatre Fun Home L to R: Amanda Naughton, Taylor Coleman, Claire Adams.

female composer in Broadway history, has garnered five Tony Award nominations. Growing up on Long Island, she started playing piano at age three, but was aiming for a medical degree (“I thought ‘Gypsy’ was a musical about Eastern Europe,” she has said). But then she spent two summers coaching at a kids’ theater camp in the Catskills and she changed her major to music. Kron, acclaimed as a performer as well as a writer, grew up in the Midwest, one of few Jews in her neighborhood. She traces her love of theater to the Purim plays she performed as a child in her Reconstructionist/Conservative temple. When she moved to New York in 1989, she and four friends became The Five Lesbian Brothers, an award-winning comic/ political theater troupe that created witty, satiric material from a feminist/lesbian perspective. Ultimately, she turned her storytelling acumen within. Her first play, “2.5 Minute Ride,” which

had its world premiere at the La Jolla Playhouse in 1996, went on to win the 1999 New York Press Award for Best Autobiographical Solo Show. “Well” opened on Broadway in 2006, and earned Kron a Tony nomination for Featured Actress in a Play. Both plays ran in repertory last year at Diversionary Theatre. Like Bechdel’s graphic memoirs, one of Kron’s plays was about her father, the other about her mother. All these literary creations have harrowing elements – and a good deal of humor. Both women were deeply affected by the backstory of their father. Bechdel’s father was a closeted gay man; Kron’s was a Holocaust survivor. Bruce, Bechdel’s father, was gone for two decades before she was able to delve into his life and their relationship. Four months after she came out to her parents, at age 19, her father was killed by a Sunbeam Bread truck. Although the evidence was equivocal, she was convinced it was suicide.

A national tour of the musical, “Fun Home,” came through San Diego in 2016. But the intense and intimate show was swallowed up in the massive Civic Theatre. Enter San Diego Repertory Theatre, which has been gunning to produce the show for years, ever since founding artistic director Sam Woodhouse first encountered it. He’s happily directing the musical this month (9/6-9/30). “It’s a deeply beautiful story,” he says, “very personal and very potent. About these two huge events that happened in Alison’s life at the same time. Not until she’s 43 years old – about the same age her father was when he died –could she examine her memories of her mercurial, dynamic, unpredictable father. “It’s such a complex story that Alison is manifested in three different personas, three different ages, in three different time periods. But at the end, all of them are onstage at the same time. There’s one psychic, unified person, time and place.” Elul 5778 • Tishrei 5779 | SDJewishJournal.com 67

Jim Stanek plays Bruce.

“Re-building the Fun Home – as a Musical It took Bechdel seven years to write the book; Kron and Tesori spent five years trying to figure out how to tell the story as a musical. As Kron has put it, “There’s a deep river of yearning that flows through Alison’s book that made it ripe for translation in the musical form.” To Sam, “it’s a very lean and tightly told story. The music is absolutely gorgeous, hypnotic, woven with the text in intricate, beautiful ways. It grabs you from the first of its 96 minutes.” Although Sam hasn’t worked with anyone in his high-profile cast, several are from San Diego, including Amanda Naughton, who plays adult Alison, and Bets Malone as her mother, Helen. The Bechdel home was a living space and a funeral parlor. With the macabre setting and fraught emotional environment, the kids ironically dubbed it “Fun Home.” Bruce was an English teacher, a funeral director and a persnickety decorator of his house. “It’s the story of how little access these people have to their feelings,” says Sam. “As this woman opens a box of relics, each time she looks at something, it reminds her of her father, whose exit left a hole in her psyche. Her memories take her back to earlier times. She’s not in charge of what happens; the memories fly off with their own energy and direction.”

Primed to Play Alison For 15 months last year (across 32 cities), Amanda Naughton was the understudy for both Alison and her mother on the national tour. A San Diegan for 20 years, Amanda is a 68 SDJewishJournal.com | September 2018

veteran of two Broadway shows, two national tours and innumerable regional theater productions, including 10 at The Old Globe and several at La Jolla Playhouse. “I loved being able to play both mother and daughter,” Amanda says, “which gives me more insight about their relationship. Some heavy stuff happens between them. I love that my Alison has that knowledge about her. Her mother was very chilly and cold. With her three children, she’s always harried, dismissive, cross and unfair. She transfers her annoyances with Bruce to her children. “But Helen had a great amount of reserve and strength,” Amanda asserts, “keeping the family secret and keeping the family together. In their time and small town, breaking up a family was a scandal. Helen and Bruce are both complex and fascinating characters.” Amanda and Jim Stanek, who plays Bruce, share a history with the play – and with each other. They worked together in the ‘90s, and Stanek, who has numerous Broadway and Off Broadway credits, was the standby for Bruce on Broadway. During her time on the tour, Amanda was fortunate to have met Alison Bechdel and Lisa Kron. “Lisa is awesome,” says Amanda. “She has written her own personal experiences; now she’s writing about someone else’s personal experiences. “And it’s great that I got to know ‘T-RAB’ [The Real Alison Bechdel, a moniker coined by the Broadway cast]. That absolutely influenced my performance. I also learned a lot from watching videos of her in interviews. I read the book many times. I want the audience to get a sense of who Alison is, how she walks, stands, tends to be self-deprecating. “I looked at pictures of her home [in Vermont], her work space and drawing table. In the show, she’s trying to get started on this book about her father, mining her past, looking at letters, photos, trying to find a way into the story. “When we meet Alison, she’s been a comic-artist for decades, since college. She’s sort of an outsider-type person. She’d been thinking, ‘I really should explore this topic – my coming out and my dad’s suicide.’ “As she’s excavating her history, she realizes her father was gay, and sneaking out to pick

up guys. Her father and she connected primarily through books. Both were intellectual, extremely well read, and had a love of literature. Both grew up gay, but in different eras. “Her parents were super-cerebral, but cold. Her mother was not demonstrative, and her

Director Sam Woodhouse.

father was given to sudden fits of rage and verbal abuse. Her parents didn’t even address each other by name. The stress and strain of keeping a lid on this big family secret was huge. “The moments when we sing,” Amanda continues, “express the underlying emotions, what is not being said. Lisa’s lyrics are just so great and the music is beautiful. “There’s definitely universality in this story. I think it was Lisa who said, ‘This show is for anyone who was born to a mother and grew up in a house with a family.’” In her own family, Amanda is sixth generation of performers. Her actor-father died this past April. “I think doing ‘Fun Home’ now will bring up some emotional things for me to explore, especially the father-daughter relationship. But I think it will be cathartic. I’m just sorry he couldn’t see me do it.” A “FUN HOME” runs at the San Diego Repertory Theatre in Horton Plaza, 9/6 to 9/30. Tickets and information: 619-544-1000; sdrep.org.

“When the day comes that we have to give accounting for our deeds, we shall be summoned before the millions who were murdered in the Holocaust.They will want to know, ‘What have you done?’ Some will say they were merchants, others will describe buildings they have built, but I will have the privilege of saying to them ‘I have never forgotten you.’” -Simon Wiesenthal

Most of us were spared the hell he endured. But we were not spared the obligation to remember…and to act. Keep Simon Wiesenthal’s legacy alive. Please join the Simon Wiesenthal Legacy Society by leaving your bequest or planned gift to the Simon Wiesenthal Center. To join the Simon Wiesenthal Legacy Society or to learn more about it, please contact: Rabbi MeyeR H. May Simon Wiesenthal Center executive Director at 310.772.2424 or rabbimay@wiesenthal.com

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Elul 5778 • Tishrei 5779 | SDJewishJournal.com 69

FEATURE: Jerusalem Zoo

A Tale of Two Zoos | BY JACQUELINE BULL |

70 SDJewishJournal.com | September 2018

PHOTOS COURTESY HELENA GALPER

very summer, the San Diego Zoo holds a luncheon to commemorate the end of the youth exchange program. This program has students from the Tisch Family Zoological Gardens in Jerusalem come to San Diego to learn from the experts. Typically, Congresswoman Susan Davis also attends the luncheon and awards certificates to the students from Israel after a presentation about the Jerusalem Zoo. This is what I expected to attend while waiting in line at the San Diego Zoo on a very sunny Wednesday afternoon in August. What I didn’t expect was by talking to the director of the Jerusalem Zoo, that I would learn a great deal about the city of Jerusalem and the history of San Diego and Israel’s relationship. But now I’m getting ahead of myself. This luncheon marked the 14th year of the youth exchange, but also the 25th anniversary of the Jerusalem Zoo in its current location. “We are here because there is a long partnership between big groups of Jewish supporters from San Diego to Jerusalem Zoo,” said Shai Doron, CEO and director of the Tisch Family Zoological Gardens in Jerusalem (Jerusalem Zoo). “The impact of what the people of San Diego did to Jerusalem, to the city of Jerusalem, even to Israel…. no one could have thought about it when it started 25 years ago. The zoo in Jerusalem became the biggest tourist attraction in Israel in places that you need to pay admission,” he said. Throughout our conversation, Shai remarked on “the wider impact” of the relationship between the San Diego and Jerusalem cities and zoos. The wider impact, ultimately being the huge success of the zoo, but even before that the love and tutelage that the San Diego Zoo gave to the Jerusalem Zoo. One of the results of that was that many of the students who attended the youth exchange program became senior staff members at the Jerusalem Zoo, including their general curator or head keeper and the head of the education department. And throughout this 25-year journey, The Jerusalem Foundation has been there to support the zoo and what it could mean for the city. “The mission of the Jerusalem Foundation for now more than 50 years has always been to build Jerusalem into a global destination for science and industry, arts and culture, education, tourism and at the same time maintain the city’s character as a diverse and multicultural place, which creates the best possible opportunities for all of its residents in all the neighborhoods of the city. And the reason that the zoo has been such an emphasis for us is that it perfectly accomplishes both sides of that mission ... Shai is fond of saying this, ‘the animals who are most impacted by the zoo are not the ones inside the enclosures,’ it is the humans who come through everyday,” said Joseph Nadis, the Executive Director of The Jerusalem Foundation in the USA. And according to Shai, the animals that most exemplify the impact of the zoo are the human students that are a part of the exchange program. The six kids that were a part of the program and later stood up at the front of the room at the luncheon to say a few words, represent a slice of the city of Jerusalem. Shai explained there were two from Palestine, one from Russia, one from Ethiopia and two Israeli kids from different regions and political backgrounds. “If you want to understand what Jerusalem is all about is to watch those kids and what could be the future of the city ... see what kind of brotherhood, friendship, among those six young people from all the different backgrounds...You will see, I don’t need to talk today, I don’t need to make no presentation,” he said and made a big wide gesture to represent displaying the six students. “This is Jerusalem, this is the zoo, this is what we succeeded to accomplish.” A

CEO and director of the Tisch Family Zoological Gardens (Jerusalem Zoo), Shai Doron and Helena Galper.

Jerusalem Zoo 2018 delegation.

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Elul 5778 • Tishrei 5779 | SDJewishJournal.com 71

high holidays FEATURE

Round or Braided | BY RABBI BEN LEINOW |

hen I was growing up, challah used to be the simple treat people called egg bread that we children stuffed into our mouths until we looked like chipmunks. At home, a little jam or cream cheese, and we were content. In today’s generation we have improved challah. Now we who eat challah have more questions to answer when making or buying challah for Shabbat or holidays. We are confronted by: round or braided, with raisins, or with chocolate chips or with many other additional tasty ingredients that makes challah have a different taste. We must also decide should challah be homemade or bought? What is the story of challah? First off, it was never a simple loaf of bread. In Jewish tradition there are three important meals on the Shabbat. The meals are Friday night, which is the welcoming of the Shabbat, Saturday lunch, which comes after the morning Shabbat service and late Saturday afternoon as we are readying ourselves for the end of the Shabbat and a return to the regular days of the week. Each meal begins with two loaves of bread. The double loaves remind us of the manna that fell to the earth each day when the Israelites wandered in the desert. According to the Torah, the manna did not fall on Shabbat or on holidays. To help the Jews live through the Shabbat, a double portion dropped from the heavens on the day before the Shabbat, and enough was gathered to live through the seventh day of the week. To remember and honor the double portion

72 SDJewishJournal.com | September 2018

that was gathered for Shabbat, most Jewish homes bless and eat two loaves rather than just one. It is typical to eat challah with salt. In some homes the challot (challot is plural for challah) are dipped into salt before saying the blessing over bread. Other families cut and tear the challah, and then hand dip each person’s challah into the salt. It is not an insult to ask for salt if it is not on the table. It is also OK to sprinkle salt on individual pieces of challah. In Israel, because of the Red Sea, there is an unending supply of salt. Salt has been a basic part of our rituals because salt never spoils or decays, which symbolizes a bond with G-d and the Jewish people now and forever. As a result of the destruction of the Holy Temple in the year 70 CE, Jews were scattered throughout the world. Challah and salt on the dinner table reminds us that all Jews, no matter where they may be, are part of G-d’s eternal plan. Scholars suggest that the word challah comes from a root word to mean round or circle. It also could mean ‘to let go’ because the bread was given to the priests at the holy temple. Eventually challah was bread made by non-Jewish bakers in various countries. The challah was baked in Poland and Russia and called ‘chalka’ or ‘kchala. Challah became so popular throughout the world that most countries had their own name for this tasty bread. Most Ashkenazi Jews in the United States have only tasted Challah made with many eggs, and so it would be considered

an egg bread challah. Sephardic Jews often prefer a challah that is not made with eggs and would be considered a ‘water challah.’ When challah is baking in the oven there is an overwhelming fragrance, giving the home a sense of good will and joy. My wife (ztl) loved to bake, and when she was unable to bake challah she often came home and put the Challah in the oven at a low temperature, which would allow the fragrance of Shabbat to fill the house. As we start the High Holiday period, it should be noted that a Rosh Hashanah challah could be round and was often referred to as ‘turban challah.’ The Rosh Hashanah round challah reminds us that the year is a cycle and often we go in circles as we try to find our way through the year. Challah symbolizes the love we have for family, friends, the Jewish people and our desire to make the world a better place. We should let it be known and declare that if only everyone in the world ate a piece of Challah on Friday night and Saturday, then the Messiah would come and there would be an end to all wars. Challah, to the modern Jew, represents the goodness of life. The taste of challah truly starts the Shabbat or the Holiday with excitement and joy. Young children can hardly wait for a piece of Challah and adults feel like children as they taste the Challah on Shabbat and holidays. By the way, of course sliced apples and honey should not be left out of the New Year. A

high holidays FEATURE

Seeing Ourselves Anew | BY RABBI JACOB RUPP |

ow should one celebrate the New Year?

There are certainly many varieties of New Year celebrations depending on culture, location, background, etc. Oftentimes we Jews feel like we are getting the short end of the stick by having to spend extra time in shul, instead of counting down in Times Square or setting off firecrackers and having a parade. But like with all things, when deciding how to act, we need to consider the circumstances and opportunities that present themselves. That is to say, there is NO question that shorts and sandals would and are usually my default outfit. To be brutally honest, I feel pity when I see the corporate individual, legal professional (or rabbi, ironically) dressed up in a suit and tie. The laid-back vibe of San Diego is a perfect fit for my preferred fashion taste. That being said, I don’t wear shorts all the time. In fact, on a given day, I will have three or more complete sets of clothes in my gym bag as I begin the day. One dress casual outfit for work/shul, a set of gym clothes, and a set of “San Diego casual.” Our behavior should follow the needs and nature of the situation. The Talmud gives three descriptions about how each and every one of us passes before G-d on Rosh Hashanah. The Mishna says, “On Rosh Hashanah all the inhabitants of the world pass before Him like “Bnei Maron.” What does this mean? The Talmud offers three possible interpretations of the unusual phrase “Bnei Maron”: • All people pass before G-d like sheep being

led through a narrow door and counted one by one for tithing. • Individuals pass before G-d as if they were on a very steep and narrow mountain pass where one must carefully walk single file. • Every person passes before G-d like the soldiers in King David’s army, walking single file on their way to war. (Rosh Hashanah 18a) No matter which way you go, there is the element of the individual and the element of being a team that is present during Rosh Hashanah. And to put it bluntly, if we are ever down and despondent it’s because we forget that we are both. A friend, mentor and rabbi of mine gave a beautiful speech about the role of appreciation in marriage. He says the most crucial thing we need from and we have to provide to our spouses is to appreciate them and enjoy them. Not because they are beautiful or because they are good providers, or even great parents or cooks—but just because of who they are. They are inherently special, instead of special because of x,y, z. The human need to be seen, to be recognized and appreciated for being “me” is so fundamental to who we are that we will lash out, act out and do crazy things when we feel unseen. But the Mishna tells us that G-d sees us as individuals. I used to see that as a scary thing. G-d sees all my flaws, the time I wasn’t nice to my mom, and the time I wasted my employer’s time while scrolling through my phone in the bathroom. It made me uncomfortable to be seen. But then on the other hand, I wanted to be noticed, to express myself, to be real, to say what I felt and be who I am.

Ultimately, G-d sees us. He knows what we did wrong, sure, but He also sees what we do right. And who we are not for what we do but because we’re just us. And He sees what we can accomplish. Not in the intimidating “you have to become a doctor or lawyer” kind of way, but all of the greatness that we hold inside that we secretly wish we could do, He sees that also, He put it there and He wants us to use it. Secondly, we are part of a team. Sheep, on a mountain, or as soldiers in an army. The flipside of being seen is feeling alone. Like there’s no one in our corner, no one to back us up. Without proper support, we become fearful, aggressive and defensive. But if we know we are part of something bigger, and our feet are on certain and safe ground, we feel protected, at peace and free to experiment. And those are the major themes that surround how we should look at ourselves vis a vie our relationship to G-d. On one hand, He sees us. He loves and acknowledges every part of us — even the stuff we don’t want to see, and even the stuff we are too afraid to admit we want. He sees us and wants us to be the best version of ourselves. And if we should feel alone, He reminds us that we aren’t; we’re part of a nation, a special and beloved people who He has loved for thousands of years, and as such we can feel unique yet supported. And with this special sense of both individuality and peoplehood, we should feel inspired to go out into the new year with a sense of awe, purpose and courage.A Elul 5778 • Tishrei 5779 | SDJewishJournal.com 73

FEATURE: Marsha Berkson

Marsha, Marsha, Marsha! | BY BRIE STIMSON |

just celebrated a really big birthday on Saturday and I threw a party for myself,” Marsha Berkson begins at the start of our conversation. “And I was surrounded by all these people in the community that are my San Diego family and that I’ve connected to through the Jewish community.” Marsha has been involved with a number of San Diego Jewish organizations since she moved here from Chicago 25 years ago: She’s on the board of the San Diego Jewish Academy, Jewish Family Service and the Women’s Division of the Jewish Federation of San Diego County. She also founded the Hand Up Youth Food Pantry at JFS. “I said to them,” she continues, “listen, you all know that I do strength coaching, and I got into this by accident, but it was the best journey for me.” Through belief and connectedness, Marsha says she’s found meaning and purpose in her life. Her work in the community hasn’t gone unnoticed. In 2011, she was named a “San Diego Women Who Mean Business” nominee and a year later, she was nominated for “San Diego Woman of the Year.” More recently, she was one of eight women named a 2018 Mitzvah Honoree at JFS’ Centennial Gala for her work on the food pantry and she was one of the 2018 “Women of Valor” at the 25th Annual Lipinsky Family San Diego Jewish Arts Festival. She is an organizational development specialist and Gallup-certified strengths coach, and she uses her skills to frequently work with the Jewish community. “I’m in the Jewish community with the coaching that I’m doing, but it’s even more national because I’m speaking on Monday to the Western Region leaders of Hillel, “ she tells me. A decade ago, Marsha founded JFS’ Hand Up Youth Food Pantry that is still successful today. Her children were attending San Diego Jewish Academy at the time. “I wanted 74 SDJewishJournal.com | September 2018

to put together a social action program at the Jewish Academy with a few other mothers,” she says. “We took these kids that were in high school and junior high to Seacrest to do a Purim carnival and to underprivileged preschools to read to the kids.” Soon, she was approached by Jill Borg Spitzer, the CEO of JFS at the time. “They used to be in this little tiny building in Hillcrest, but they were going to go and build a new building on Balboa Avenue,” Marsha explains. “She showed me the food pantry, and I said to her ‘have you ever thought of having this food pantry run by kids, by students?’” Marsha took the lead in organizing the program. “JFS was amazing,” she adds, “because they gave me internal people to work on it, and that’s why the program still thrives today. It’s an important part of who they are and what they do and really even the core of all their food programs really came from that strong initial Hand Up program.” After running a successful music venue in downtown San Diego, “I started to figure out what I was going to do, like ‘What now?’ ‘What next?’ I was working with Susan G. Komen, and I was asked to facilitate their retreat,” she says. At the time, she was doing strategic planning with the breast cancer research nonprofit. Marsha called up her strength coach for advice and was directed to Gallup’s StrengthsFinder, an online personality assessment that helps people focus their skills. She used what she learned from StrengthsFinder with Susan G. Komen. “I facilitated the retreat,” she continues, “and the women that were a part of ... the organization really learned a lot about how they operate, how they execute things, how they build relationships with each other, how they strategi-

cally think and they became a way more high performance team.” After the retreat, Marsha started to take the workshop given by StrenthsFinder. “What we understand about our strengths,” she says, “is they describe us. They influence our choices, they help us filter the world and they also tell us why we’re good at certain things and not good at others. And because it’s strength, it’s all framed in a positive way.” Soon after, she was approached by JFS CEO Michael Hopkins. “He said, ‘Marsha, you get certified and you’re going to do strength for JFS because I love strength,’” she says. She now helps with JFS’ car donation program amid her other projects with organizations like Hillel and the San Diego Jewish Academy. “There’s lots of Jewish organizations that I’m doing work for,” she says. “I’m helping people tap into how to be the best version of themselves because our strengths are natural to us and they’re innate to us. When you understand them, then you understand why and you can move forward with a greater understanding as to how to be more productive and how to be more collaborative.” She says in all her work she strives simply to make a contribution and impact in the community. “I feel blessed and privileged that I am a part of this community and was embraced when I moved here from Chicago about 25 years ago and given that opportunity,” she adds. “What the recipients of the food pantry have gotten out of the program and the kids that participated, that is what’s fueling to me.” She says strength is a gift of self-awareness. “When people feel that they have that in their life, in the professional Jewish world when you feel that somebody cares about your development, you’re going to be more engaged in what you do.” Marsha continues to work with both local and national Jewish organizations and is always looking ahead. “How I’m moving forward in the future is really important to me,” she adds, “And exciting to me as well.” A

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The Perfect Cup of Tea | BY LIANNE GOLDSMITH |

high holidays FEATURE

didn’t always love Yom Kippur. As a child it challenged me. I was constantly torn about whether to break ranks and eat while the family fasted. One year, I must have been about eight years old, I remember deciding that in order to stay alive and ensure my survival, I would eat a banana sandwich. It was huge and delicious, but unfortunately my mom was NOT impressed. I never did that again. Yom Kippur was a drag. Then one day it all changed – October 6, 1973. I felt a sudden deep sense of belonging to a community so emotionally invested with the start of the Yom Kippur War. I walked around shul listening, watching and feeling the pain as the adults wept. And although it was a devastating day, it was also the day I came to understand what it meant to belong to something way bigger than anything I had previously known. Over the years Yom Kippur has become that one day when I can just be. I love everything about the stillness, solitude and togetherness. I love the time I have to sink into my thoughts, nurture memories, love my parents, brother and sister, celebrate lifelong friendships and weep over darling friends and family who have passed on. Most of all I spend mindful time in gratitude for the love and life lessons I continue to receive from my darling daughters and husband. And when the sun has gone down, and I have prayed and discussed things endlessly with myself and the shofar has blown that heartfelt long Tekiah Ha Gadol, there is nothing quite like that perfect sweet cup of tea to bring me back into my beautiful life. A

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high holidays FEATURE

The author’s children at her sister’s.

Reflections on Rosh Hashanah: the Still Point of the Turning Wheel | BY PATRICIA GOLDBLATT |

n Passover, we ask, “ Why is this night different from all others.” Yet it holds the sameness of all other holidays: our religious gatherings at nightfall when all of the precious people of our family come together around the festive table to celebrate our history, our faith. So here we are again at Rosh Hashanah. All of us dressed better, in a happier mood, relishing the food, the time, the love that binds us at the beginning of the new year and the demise of the old one. Here we all are again, anticipating a clean slate, forgiveness, expectation as gleaming as our grandchildren’s shining faces. I’d often heard of family “brogus” being set aside at holiday time so that bad feelings could be relinquished as the new year arrived. Heralding the brightness of new beginnings alongside the darker desire for atonement and reflection, we watch as Poppa points to those Rosh Hashanah symbols represented by rosy apples, dripping honey,

warm challah and sparkling wine, his prayers sanctifying them, the children’s unblinking eyes glued tightly on him. In unison, we yell, “Oi- men,” and laugh, delighted to pass the fruits of the earth to one another, the work of our hands, the blessings of G-d. These repetitions provide the hallmarks of enduring memories throughout our lives. For me, the days of preparation for dinner is a combination of old favorites of the perfectly stuffed turkey, but also another attempt to emulate my mother-in-law’s excellent gefelte fish. Mine either lacks correct spicing or is too watery even after my yearly attempts to follow her loose descriptions of “pinch of this…handful of that...you’ll know when…” Usually the food receives compliments, but I believe the fish is consumed as part of the new year pattern: that fish precedes soup, which proceeds kugels en route to multiple desserts. Still I wonder if some special ingredient has been omitted from my fish. Elul 5778 • Tishrei 5779 | SDJewishJournal.com 79

Her father and younger daughter at Rosh Hashanah dinner At this time of year, I, too, hold close the memories of my parents and the Rosh Hashanah dinners at their house. Never a thought was given to the work that necessitated my mother to rise even earlier than usual or fall into her bed, energy depleted, after the last plate dried. There were squabbles over who would sit next to my father who always commanded the head of the table. He quietly beamed at us, taking in our families, while chanting the prayers, his pronunciation of certain vowels differing from our Hebrew School learning, we noted, wondering why. My mother darted back and forth, serving and occasionally perching, her legs aching from the last days of cooking, cleaning and now placing her dishes before us. Her mother, I recalled, disappeared into the kitchen to eat by herself, no doubt also collapsing into whatever chair available: to suck chicken feet – if I glimpsed her behind the swinging door to the dining room where uncles sported dark fedora hats and aunts like preening peacocks were festooned in special navy dresses. We cousins waited expectantly for the moment when we might depart the table heaped with food, bound into the rec room below to hoot, shout and play games without adult supervision. We were not religious people but we came together as a family at these holiday suppers, reminding me of Bella Chagall’s memoir “Burning Lights” as she narrated the annual arrivals of her far flung aunts and uncles in the shetl, Vitebsk, at the end or commence80 SDJewishJournal.com | September 2018

ments of the harvests, family on horseback, in carts, the women bearing heavy pots, depicted in her narration of unending dinners that continued late into the velvety nights under Russian skies. Many years ago my son invited his university friends to Rosh Hashanah dinner and I set myself the task of making as many different kugels as I could find; fortunately all but the potato could be frozen. From zucchini to eggplant to sweet potato with raisins, I scoured cookbooks that offered an impetus to create the puddings. Finally at table, we chortled, attempting to identify the vegetables that all began and ended with eggs, onions and matzoh meal, even foods resembling that cycle of creation and endings of our rituals. Since then, though, the meal has been pared down to only two potato kugels, one sweet, one plain, three or four fruit pies, of course, a honey cake and at least one other completing dessert, usually chocolate, contributing to eating ecstasy. The laughter, the camaraderie, the delight of being together, sharing a meal whose very basis is the reason we are here. Although the table heaped with offerings is the center of focus, one year, post-dinner wrestled for attention as we received a midnight call, requiring immediate babysitting. Perhaps unable to battle all the kugels, soup, side dishes, meats and deserts crowding his space, grandson number two decided to exit six weeks early. He was named Aaron, the high priest. But, as well, this time of year holds un-

forgettable events – sad events that marked our life. My father succumbed to polio one Labor Day weekend when I was 18 months old. Interestingly, no one ever mentioned Rosh Hashanah that year, arguing whether it had been “early” or “ late.” I imagine in my mind’s eye, the family dinner, quieter than usual, especially my buby Molly at the edge of tears, and my mother clutching me as I, more than a year, squirmed in her arms. And my mother again – close to 92, so many years later, shortly after hearing the shofar blown in her hospital room, passed from this world of beginnings to another. Perhaps because of the season of my father’s polio, she was always anxious around Rosh Hashanah as a period of transition, likely focusing on holiday preparations to banish frightening thoughts from her mind. She is, not surprisingly, at the periphery of my thoughts during these days. Now as I age, there is so much I would share with her: questions I would ask (about knitting, for sure), so many fears or doubts I would look to her for assurance: that all would be well and turn out fine. She was so fearful herself, often struggling tenuously to hold our world together like a jigsaw whose pieces might suddenly fall asunder and require reassembling by her able practical hands, handling and rearranging our lives. It’s a task she completed as in the child’s story “The Little Red Hen” that she never ceased to cite in deference to the lack of assistance by her family: “All by her self,” she would loudly affirm, moving be-

Two of her children with the “gefelte” fish buby tween the real and the story tale, endowing herself with magic to erase the troubles and difficulties she had encountered, but overcome in our lives. She, our mother, always silently praying, that this new year would be better than the last. If she were still on this earth and we were meeting for Saturday lunches, I might behave slightly differently, not avoiding difficult conversations, attempting to banish them into non-existence, probing more deeply and certainly, more sensitively. Not merely scoffing at her refrain that she wished she had become a nurse or an interior decorator. With greater compassion and kindness, I would not counter now, to change the subject, ”Well, an orange cannot be an apple.” Truthfully, as she pondered her life, combing through lost opportunities, I was afraid to listen, not wanting to be hurt by some detail I had not all ready heard. My parents had a wonderful way to celebrate Rosh Hashanah beyond our family gatherings. Yearly, they would travel to the North where in Canada at this time of year, the air is crisp, the autumnal leaves ripe on the trees, a kaleidoscope of colors. They might spend a day or several, driving through the beauty of nature, their thoughts far from the city. I stayed behind, but one year, cracked open the bottom drawer of a dresser in their bedroom. Heaped inside were the remnants of their life before and during my father’s polio. I poured over the barely readable postcards sent from the hospital where he had spent nine months when he was only 28 years old, robbed of the muscular power of his limbs. In their exchanges, they write my name as “Paddy,” as an Irish person would. Or maybe the crosses on the “t’s” are sloppy and resemble “d’s,” but the fragments break my heart as I glimpse the broken communica-

tion between my parents. Tears overrun my eyes as I sense the immense difficulty even a few words has taken to produce their daily interchanges, but I sense in the scribbled half formed letters the depth of my father’s love for my mother. In my talks to her, I do not want to re-awaken these knives of pain and so we did not unshovel the past. Perhaps this is why she did not speak of the missed holiday dinner that separated them. So I approach the new year with a mixture of emotions, grateful but longing for my mother’s company, pondering my relationship with my father, but also anticipating a supper with most of my children and grandchildren present, observing their fingers coated with honey, and their chomping Macintosh apples carefully chosen by my husband. I enjoy the look of the table with my grandmother’s silver and her fine dishes: ones I refused, but finally begrudgingly accepted, because they are heavily ornate, not my style at all. Now I am happy for their place at my holiday table, a silver treasure, their quality beyond cost and symbolizing that I am a thread in my family that has unwound, as evidence of immigrant migration from Poland. I gaze too at the fine porcelain tableware, wishing I had investigated the stories the plates must withhold, although remembering my mother had related: that a peddler would come to the door weekly, selling one precious spoon or dish – and my grandmother would save and save until she could afford to purchase one here, one there, until she had put aside enough dollars to complete a full set. No wonder that even at 90 my mother precariously stooped to pick up a penny! I wonder what my grandchildren will take from my suppers. Will they joke about the kugels, the unending offering of desserts,

some strange detail that I imparted such as my grandmother’s delicious dun-colored handmade wine from purple plums, or the reminisces of rollicking fun I shared with my cousins. Or the disgusting slurp of sucking chicken feet? With part of my family in Philadelphia, I feel the circle is incomplete, a gap between the beginning and the ending of this yearly event. We will fill that absence when Thanksgiving fortunately intrudes, but of course it cannot be the same as passing down – in person – traditions to the grandchildren, traditions that are saturated with love: from the planning of foods to the folding of napkins to covering the “ kinder” with uninvited hugs and kisses, steeping them in Rosh Hashanah adoration. The traditions etched in my mind and body have indeed shaped me as a person, a Jewish person acculturated by my laxity of making the traditions fit my life, weighing the precepts of giving anonymously, living an honest life, not fasting when sick, sadacka, for example, against burying dishes in the earth, not eating shrimp, etc: the strange bits I discover when reading the translation of Torah portions written in another age. Rather, it is the meaning of passing down a closeness, a memory of what it means to participate in a religious ritual – even briefly – that is initiated by an old and sacred story, a story that interrupts the workday to stress what is the most significant and meaningful in my life, that “time out of time.” As T.S. Eliot might conjecture, “ the still point of the turning wheel.” The family at the core of one’s life, the family that even when we’re gone will continue to interrupt the stream of their lives to sit down in order at dusk to participate in a yearly event that reaffirms difference but continuity in Jewish lives. A

Elul 5778 • Tishrei 5779 | SDJewishJournal.com 81

DIVERSIONS: Sacha Baron Cohen

Sacha Baron Cohen Plays an Israeli Caricature to Dupe Zionist Conservatives | RON KAMPEAS | JTA | whose bid for a Senate seat in Alabama fell apart over old allegations of soliciting minors — also said he had fallen for the Israel-award thing. Walsh said he had been asked to read a story off a teleprompter about a four-year-old Israeli who grabbed a gun and subdued a terrorist. Walsh said he thought, “Well, this is kind of crazy, but it is Israel and Israel is strong on defense.” Cohen apparently intended the segment to be an expose of zealous support for gun ownership, although it could be seen as an example of blind support of everything Israel. In real life, gun rights activists have frequently — and often erroneously — cited Israel as an example of a country with few restrictions on gun rights. In fact, restrictions on gun use and ownership in Israel are far-reaching. Sacha Baron Cohen. acha Baron Cohen is back, and he is taking aim at a strain of “pro-Israel” thought that has both delighted and unsettled many American Jews: the unconditional love engendered by the country among deeply conservative Americans. In “Who is America?,” a show that made its debut last July on Showtime, the British Jewish comic returns with the shtick that made him famous — disguising himself in order to prank the famous and not-so-famous. Having created Borat (a dimwitted Kazakh journalist) and Ali G (a dimwitted hip-hop journalist), Cohen now rolls out Israeli Col. Erran Morad, a purported terrorism expert. In one episode, Cohen as Morad dupes a few current and recent politicians, as well as gun rights activists, into supporting a fictitious initiative to arm toddlers. The gun rights activists, Philip Van Cleave and Larry Pratt, endorse Morad’s “Kinderguardian” program. So do Trent Lott, the former senator from Mississippi; Reps. Dana Rohrabacher, R-Calif., and Joe Wilson, R-S.C.; and a former Rep., Joe Walsh, R-Ill. (Van Cleave stars in a Barney-like instructional video in which he sings a variant of “Heads, Shoulders, Knees and Toes”: “Aim at the head, shoulders, not the toes, not the toes.”) Rep. Matt Gaetz, R-Fla., acquits himself well: “Typically, members of Congress don’t just hear a story about a program and indicate whether they support it or not,” he tells Morad. The entire segment appears to have taken advantage of the targets’ pro-Israel sympathies. Walsh told CNN that Cohen had fooled him into participating by telling him that he was “getting an award from some Israeli TV station because I’m a great supporter of Israel.” For another segment, Roy Moore —

82 SDJewishJournal.com | September 2018

David Frum, a Jewish conservative who writes for the Atlantic magazine, tweeted that Cohen “repeatedly takes advantage of people’s affection and respect for the State of Israel to deceive and humiliate them.” Allison Kaplan Sommer, an Israeli American who writes for the liberal Israeli daily Haaretz, was critical, too. “Yes, your satire was outrageously on point and Col. Erran Morad was spot on,” she wrote on Facebook, addressing Cohen. “Still — bad enough that Israel gets demonized for the things it actually does — you have to go and make horrifying fake stuff up? Satire or not, I’m afraid the American public is going to be left with the impression that we are, in fact, gun fans when the truth is our gun control is a million times stricter than in the US.” Another Israeli writer, Noga Tarnapolsky, thought Cohen’s blows landed on two worthy targets: “Sacha Baron Cohen deployed the weirdo fetishization of Israel & Benjamin Netanyahu personally among right-wingnuts in an utterly clarifying way,” she tweeted. “How Bibi became a cult-like object for the gun rights people is beyond me.” Cohen, for sure, is a shock comic. But he is also a satirist, and one intimately acquainted with Israel: He speaks Hebrew, grew up in a Zionist youth group and spent summers there. His mother was born in Israel and he has family there. It appears on early evidence that Cohen’s target is not “pro-Israel” per se, or even “right-wing pro-Israel,” but a strain of Israel support that imagines Israel as its own distorted reflection — and not what it is. Episodes of “Who is America?” can be streamed on Showtime’s website, sho.com.A

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After many years as a successful single day event, the Joyce Forum has blossomed into its own two-day festival offering imagination-stretching films from across the globe. With over 130 submissions from 17 different countries, the expansion of the Joyce Forum Jewish Short Film Festival was a given. This two-day festival will include Q&As and discussions with renowned filmmakers and other special guests.

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 6, 2018 Program 1 | 8:00 pm

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 7, 2018 Program 2 Program 3 Program 4 Program 5

| | | |

10:30 am 1:30 pm 4:30 pm 7:30 pm

PRESENTED IN PARTNERSHIP WITH MURRAY GALINSON SAN DIEGO-ISRAEL INITIATIVE who will bring Israeli filmmakers to San Diego for a two week artist residency.

General Seating Tickets: $15.25 | JCC Member $13.25 | Festival Pass $60

ARTS

Lawrence Family Lawrence Family JCCJCC JACOBS FAMILY CAMPUS JACOBS FAMILY CAMPUS

San Diego Center FOR

SAN DIEGO

TICKETS 858.362.1348 | www.sdcjc.org

JEWISH CULTURE

Elul 5778 • Tishrei 5779 | SDJewishJournal.com 83

WHAT’S goin’ on? | BY EILEEN SONDAK |

The Old Globe’s “The Heart of Rock & Roll” was inspired by Huey Lewis and the News.

The Old Globe is ready to launch its new season with a world premiere. “The Heart of Rock & Roll,” a musical comedy inspired by the songs of Huey Lewis and the News, will begin its run on the Globe’s Main Stage Sept. 6, where it will remain through Oct. 21. Jonathan Abrams wrote the book for the show, directed by Gordon Greenberg. The plot is about holding onto your dreams and cherishing the thrill of rock ‘n’ roll. On Sept. 15, the Globe will celebrate Mexican Independence Day with a live concert featuring Las Colibri and special host Tony Valencia. This free event will take place on Copley Plaza. The Globe will wrap up its summer season under the stars with Shakespeare’s “Much Ado About Nothing,” a delightful comic romp that pits headstrong Beatrice against confirmed bachelor Benedick (until they discover true love – with a little help from their friends). The clever romantic comedy will charm audiences on the Festival Stage until Sept. 16. Globe supporters will gather on the Plaza for the annual Globe Gala on Sept. 22. The fundraiser includes a one-nightonly performance by the incomparable Andra Day. There are still a couple of chances to see “Barefoot in the Park.” The Neil Simon comedy has been extended until Sept. 2. The La Jolla Playhouse is hosting Backyard Renaissance as they present the San Diego premiere of “Smokefall,” a play that explores the lives of a family, the fragility of life, and the power of love. The show will be on stage at the Playhouse through Sept. 16. The Playhouse’s world premiere production of “Seize the King,” a reinterpretation of Shakespeare’s “Richard III,” continues at the Potiker Theater through Sept. 16. This piece tells the story of tyrannical power – and it sounds like a must-see for fans of the Bard’s notorious villain.

The Mandell Weiss Forum will feature “Hundred

Days,” a musical directed by Anne Kaufman, Sept. 22 through Oct. 21. The show, dubbed a “luminous musical memoir,” is an autobiographical work performed by husband-and-wife team Abigail and 84 SDJewishJournal.com | September 2018

Shaun Bengson. This unusual play tackles the basic question of making the most of the time you have.

North Coast Repertory Theatre is taking on Noel Coward’s “Blithe Spirit” to put a ghostly spin on its September slate. The supernatural hijinks and witty sophistication of this spirited Coward comedy will be on the boards Sept. 5 – 30, under the direction of Rosina Reynolds. The plot conjures up its fun from a socialite novelist, an unforgiving wife, and an eccentric medium. John Carney will show off his sleight of hand in a one-man show at NCR Sept. 25 – 26. Carney’s magic runs the gamut from storytelling to magic. San Diego Repertory Theatre will present “Fun Home,” a multiple Tony Award-winning musical based on a graphic novel. Sam Woodhouse will direct the show, with choreography by Javier Velasco. “Fun Home,” ensconced at the Lyceum Sept. 6 – 30, owes its heart-wrenching storyline to a graphic novelist who tells the story of a man whose secrets and temperament defined her family and her life. It has been described as one of the most groundbreaking musicals ever to hit the Broadway stage. San Diego Musical Theatre is staging “Hairspray,” the musical that snared eight Tony Awards on Broadway. It ends its run at the historic Horton Grand Theater on Sept. 2. The San Diego Symphony’s summer season ends on a high note with the 1812 Tchaikovsky Spectacular, set for Sept. 1-2. Maestro Sameer Patel will lead the orchestra and a fireworks display will cap off the evening. Coronado Playhouse is winding down its “Follies in Concert,” showcasing songs by Stephen Sondheim, on Sept. 2.

Cygnet Theatre’s

production of “Every Brilliant Thing” will be performed at the Old Town theater through Sept. 16. The

Lamb’s Players has

extended their successful production of “Once” once again, through Sept. 2. Cygnet’s “Every Brilliant Thing.”

The Reuben Fleet Science Center will be showing three films: “Dream Big: Engineering our World” – a first-of-itskind film that will transform the way we think about engineering; “Islands of the Lemurs,” an up-close-and-personal look at some fascinating creatures; and “Aircraft Carriers: Guardians of the Seas.”

“Mama Mia.”

The Welk Theatre is back in business and getting set to deliver a jaunty musical comedy – the live version of the popular film, “Mama Mia.” The show will be performed on weekends from Sept. 7 through Oct. 28. A sit-down dinner is available prior to the performance. On Wednesday evenings, from Sept. 12 through Oct. 31, the Welk will present the Alley Cats.

Moxie Theatre unveiled the San Diego premiere of “Voyeurs de Venus,” directed by Delicia Turner Sonenberg, recently. The show – based in part on a true story of a South African woman captured and displayed on the streets of 19th century London – will wind down on Sept. 9.

The International Summer Organ Festival will end its summer run of free concerts at the Spreckels Organ Pavilion on Sept. 3.

The San Diego Museum of Art is featuring “Epic

Tales from Ancient India: Paintings from the San Diego Museum of Art” – an exhibition that explains classics of literature through the art that illustrates them. This exhibition (which includes 90 artworks) will end its stay on Sept. 3. The art museum is also featuring “Nancy Lorenz: Moon Gold,” a solo show of the work of this New York-based artist. This exhibition consists of 85 pieces, including sculptures, paintings and others that reflect the artist’s East meets West oeuvre. The museum has opened its vaults for “Visible Vaults,” a collection of 300 pieces, including works by Andy Warhol, Rodin, Toulouse-Lautrec and other great artists. This exciting exhibition will be on view through Nov. 12.

The Timken Museum

is showing off a 3-D work based on “The Portrait of a Woman in a Green Dress.” This creation will remain at the Timken through Sept. 16. Birch Aquarium is featuring “Hall of Fishes,” which also serves as a working laboratory. Birch has an installation on light by scientist Michael Latz, and another exhibition that helps Timken Museums “The you understand Scripps’ expeditions to Portrait of a Woman discover and protect the planet. “Expein a Green Dress.” dition at Sea” includes a 33-foot long projected triptych and hands-on learning opportunities. The newest exhibition at the Birch is “Research in Action: 100 Island Challenge,” an exhibit that explores the way reefs are adapting to our rapidly changing planet. Also on display is “Oddities: Hidden Heroes of the Scripps Collection,” a comic book-inspired exhibit that highlights amazing adaptations of ocean species.

The Fleet is offering “Dream, Design, Build” – an exhibition that explores the Fleet’s collection of interactive engineering activities (and will remain on permanent display), and “Myth Busters: The Explosive Exhibit” -- a hands-on, family-friendly experience that combines popular scientific facts with innovative displays. Also on view is “Taping Shape 2.0,” which uses hundreds of rolls of packing tape to create a world of translucent spaces and tunnels. The museum has several other permanent exhibitions, including “Don’t Try This at Home,” “Tinkering Studio” (which has evolved into “Studio X”), “Block Busters” and “Origins in Space.” The San Diego Natural History Museum recently opened “The Backyard” – a new gallery for the 5-and-under set – and “Backyard Wilderness” (a 3-D film). The NAT is featuring “Extraordinary Ideas from Ordinary people: A History of Citizen Science.” Among the items on view in this exhibition are rare books, art and historical documents. Also on display is “Coast to Cactus in California.” “Unshelved: Cool Stuff from Storage” – a display of specimens from around the world – is another popular exhibition. It will be ensconced at the NAT for the next two years. Check out “Oceans 3-D: Our Blue Planet” (a global odyssey to discover the largest habitat on Earth) and “Ocean Oasis.” The Nat also offers “Fossil Mysteries,” “Water: A California Story” and “Skulls.”

Timken Museums Israel 70 Years of Craft & Design

Mingei International Museum is celebrating the 70th anniversary of the founding of Israel by teaming up with the House of Israel in Balboa Park to showcase a retrospective exhibition of the nation’s diverse and lively craft and design. More than 80 artists are highlighted in this show, which is set to close on Sept. 3. The exhibition includes rugs and blankets. Mingei is highlighting “Voluminous Art – Treasures from San Diego’s University Libraries.” This collaboration – featuring masterworks of book art – will close up on Sept. 3. The San Diego History Center is featuring the first exhibition in Balboa Park exploring San Diego’s LGBTQ+ community. The History Museum’s permanent exhibition, “Placed Promises,” chronicles the history of the San Diego region – and the America’s Cup Exhibition, highlights the sailing race held in San Diego three times since 1988. A

Elul 5778 5778 • Tishrei 5779 | SDJewishJournal.com 85 Elul

the news

Ohr Shalom Synagogue Starts New Women’s Wellness Program

B’Nai B’rith Sends Aid to Greece After Wildfires B’nai B’rith International is sending aid to Greece as wildfires have injured more than 180 and killed more than 80 people. The wildfires outside of Athens have destroyed hundreds of homes. B’nai B’rith is working with two Greek-American organizations: The American Hellenic Educational Progressive Association and American Hellenic Institute. In a press release, B’nai B’rith International states, “We have a tradition of helping communities in distress, which began in 1865 in pre-state Israel when we raised funds to aid victims of a cholera outbreak. Since then, B’nai B’rith has helped countless people across the globe who have faced adversity after natural and man-made disasters.” To help this effort, you can donate to their Disaster Relief Fund at donatenow.networkforgood.org/bbi-disaster-relief.

Comedian Paula Poundstone to Perform at JCC Comedian Paul Poundstone will perform at the Lawrence Family JCC the first week of September. The legendary standup will share her observations on everything from politics and parenthood to alcoholism. The show is at 7:30 p.m. on Sept. 6 and tickets start at $39. In addition to standup comedy, Poundstone has voiced parts in animated movies and shows like “Inside Out” and “Home Movies.”

86 SDJewishJournal.com | September 2018

Ohr Shalom has created a new program, MARPEH (Hebrew for repairing or healing) for the fall with yoga, meditation and kosher food programs for women. Alex van Frank, a certified Yoga Therapist will begin the program on September 23. Dietician Romina Waisbaum will also be a part of the program to demonstrate nutritious and economical meals in this no-diet approach. The program is open to Jewish women of all ages and physical ability.

New University of Haifa Downtown Campus Funded by American Philanthropist University of Haifa recently announced that it has secured the first two buildings for a new downtown campus, funded by a $10 million donation from prominent American philanthropist and Business Wire founder Lorry I. Lokey. When his gift was announced in May, Lokey said, “This gift is an affirmation of its mission to improve access to education and bring more jobs, stability and security to northern Israel by establishing a downtown campus.” University of Haifa is unique in its “multiversity” model: a multi-campus institution that increases access for students and diversifies the region. The new downtown campus, which will include the School for Data Science and the Tauber Bioinformatics Research Center, is inspired by this model and will help transform the university.

Hadassah Medical Organization Joins TriNetX Global Health Network Hadassah Medical Organization (HMO) is a leading medical complex in Jerusalem, Israel that provides care to over a million patients each year alongside five schools of medical education and extensive research facilities. As HMO accounts for more than half the medical research in Israel, it is no wonder that it is the first hospital in the country to join TriNetX, an online platform that provides access and analysis for clinical data to help researchers improve the efficiency of research trials. But HMO is just the latest piece of the puzzle, as TriNetX has already partnered with numerous medical organizations to span 15 countries and represent 100 million patients.

MEETINGS AND EVENTS FOR JEWISH SENIORS JFS Balboa Ave. Older Adult Center Contact Aviva Saad (858) 550-5998 Sept. 6, 10 a.m. The JFS is having a Rosh Hashanah celebration.

Rabbis Yoni Danzger and Daniel Reich Participate in Soille Hebrew Day School’s “Visions of Successful Jewish Lives” Rabbi Simcha Weiser (center), Head of Soille Hebrew Day School, recently welcomed newly arrived Rabbis Yoni Danzger (left), Assistant Rabbi of Beth Jacob Congregation, and Daniel Reich (right), Assistant Rabbi of Congregation Adat Yeshurun. Both Rabbis will participate in Hebrew Day’s new program “Visions of Successful Jewish Lives,” which connects the school’s students to community Torah teachers.

StandWithUs San Diego Celebrates “Leaders of Tomorrow” at its October 14 Gala StandWithUs (SWU) San Diego has a special Table Captain for its gala – 10-year-old Rachael. How she is challenging anti-Semitism will be revealed on October 14 at the Marriott Marquis. Jaime and Dan Feder are the co-chairs of the “Leaders of Tomorrow” event, SWU High School Interns will speak about how they are changing the conversation at their schools and keynote speaker Hussein Aboubakr, who survived torture in Egypt for supporting Israel, will also speak at the gala. Attendees will meet new Southwest High School Coordinator Kate Chavez, Campus Coordinator Charline Delkhah and SWU SD Associate Director Yael Steinberg. Founder Craig Dershowitz will demonstrate how Artists4Israel spread Israel’s positivity on campuses. Attendees can watch and bid on special artwork created at the event. Register at: standwithus.com/sdleaders18. Contact: Sara Miller, saram@standwithus. com and Yael Steinberg, yaels@standwithus.com or call 858-598-8220.

Principal of SDJA Attends Harvard’s Principals’ Seminar “Leadership: An Evolving Vision” is a seminar at the Harvard Graduate School of Education’s Principals’ Center for experienced school leaders. Kelley King, principal of San Diego Jewish Academy, attended the weeklong institute in Cambridge, MA. The seminar is a part of a year-long program for day school leaders to focus on their Jewish mission and vision. King and other participants attended lectures and discussion groups led by Harvard faculty. The seminar also addressed challenges that schools and school leaders have. The institute is facilitated by the AVI CHAI Foundation, a New York-based foundation that promotes Jewish commitment.

JFS College Avenue Center Contact Elissa Landsman (858) 637-3273 Sept. 7, 12 p.m. Celebrate Rosh Hashanah with a special luncheon with entertainment by Klezmer musicians Yale Strom and Elizabeth Schwartz. Jewish War Veterans of San Diego, Post-185 Contact Jerome Klein at (858) 521-8694 Sept. 9, 10 a.m. Veterans Association of North County, Post-385 Contact Marsha Schjolberg (760) 492-7443 Jewish War Veterans meetings Sept. 9, 11 a.m. North County Jewish Seniors Club at the Oceanside Senior Center Contact Josephine at (760) 295-2564 Sept. 16, 12:30 p.m. Lawrence Family JCC Contact Melanie Rubin (858) 362-1141 Sept. 26, 12:30 p.m. Stop in for the annual Senior Lunch & Concert in the Sukkah. Price is $13-$16.

Coastal Roots Farm Hosts Sukkot Harvest Festival Coastal Roots Farm will host a Sukkot Harvest Festival on their 15-acre Encinitas space at the end of the month. The farm’s biggest event of the year, it will include Jewish learning workshops, farm tours, music, tours of neighboring butterfly farms, a libation station, fermentation tastings and food for purchase. There will also be a kids’ zone. The event is free but an RSVP is required. Go to coastalrootsfarm.org to RSVP. The event is on Sept. 30 from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. The farm is located at 441 Saxony Road.

Elul 5778 • Tishrei 5779 | SDJewishJournal.com 87

An Open Letter to My Son and Yours...Why Marry Jewish?

ADVICE

ASK MARNIE by Marnie Macauley

asksadie@aol.com

halom, San Diegans: During our High Holidays, I’ve chosen to tackle a tough and controversial issue: The changing commitment among many Gen Xers and Millennials to our faith. I’ve titled this special column …

An open letter to my son and yours... “What difference does it really make if I date or marry a non-Jew?” My adult son has asked me: “The world’s changed. What difference does it really make if I date or marry a non-Jew?” Perhaps your son has asked you the same question. It’s troubling. Particularly as we get together to hear the shofar blow– or the melancholy, haunting strains of the Kol Nidre. Regardless of your observance, the world has changed. And we Jews have changed with it. In the West, our grandparents came over quaking, their feet and hearts blistered from running with the memories of unspeakable evil, clinging mightily to their only true possession – their faith. Judaism. The “tribe” meant “us.” It didn’t matter how they observed. If you were a Jew, it was as much your singular identity as your fingerprint. There are our beliefs, Holy Books, teachings, but it was more. Being a Jew was a feeling so strong that for most, only two generations ago it was unthinkable and impossible to veer from it. How do we Boomers convey a feeling so alive in us to my son or to yours? How do we justify exclusion in a country that claims to eschew “exclusion?” Are the books enough? The Jewish education? The break fasts? The Yom Kippur rituals? My son went to a Jewish Day school, had an Orthodox Bar Mitzvah, a father 88 SDJewishJournal.com | September 2018

(my late husband) who fought his bosses at the “Grey Lady” who would skew the truth about Israel and a mama who writes about and embodies Yiddishkeit. And yet he asks me “The world’s changed. What difference does it really make if I date or marry a non-Jew?” It was the 1950s. I was born into an Archie Bunker neighborhood in lower-middle-class Queens, New York. Some, like my father, were on their way up. Most were civil servants trapped in jobs for the pension. Post-war, the men still remembered the buddy-ism created in foxholes. My father, who spent four years in the jungle, felt a kinship to them all. He was resolute about mutual aid, wherever there was a need, and to whomever “needed.” That is, until a rabid anti-Semite moved onto the block. Within a few days, the drunken parties got ugly. Names were screamed from their porches – porches my father helped build –vile names that were used a few years earlier to incite and justify mass murder. And now these same names also came from the mouths of neighbors’ children he had helped save when they were ill and couldn’t afford medical care. One of them, Rosemary and her followers, accosted me daily in those mean streets we called “gutters.” “You killed Christ!” she’d yell, despite the Pope’s encyclical exonerating us. She and her band of bffs, all seven years older than I was at the tender age of six, accosted me daily. “I didn’t!” I’d say with a vehemence I didn’t yet understand. My head was bashed against car windows. When I was eight years old, we moved to an upper-middle-class Jewish neighborhood. But the memories, the names, the feelings were set forever. I learned to stand up, to shout out and to care about the underdog when standing up meant risk. I also learned fear. Would this story dissuade my son or yours –a story of a fear he hasn’t known or felt? The old “If you marry out and one day we are again targeted, will your spouse go to the left or the right?” doesn’t work anymore. To our sons, this is ancient history, impossible to imagine when they were raised in the relative safety of the Goldena Medina; a place where fear is weakness and exclusion is reviled, at least nominally. After the War, with assimilation, many sons

chose to “break away” from what they considered the stronghold of the old Jewish “family” traditions, which they considered to be limiting. Sadly, many did so by satirizing what they considered negative stereotypes: borne of ridicule, heightened by Borscht belt comics, portrayed in media – and casually accepted by Americans who went for the joke, the easy zetz (punch). Once revered, our traditions became “cartoons,” shtick. The prototype was the overzealous, over-involved, over-worried, over-protective, over-nurturing, over-bearing presence that invaded popular culture with a Sylvia Fine (“The Nanny”) mouth and a Jack Klugman nose. We became an embarrassment to many in the next two generations of liberal sophisticates who toss punch lines without context, history. How do I teach my son and yours about the courage … the chutzpah … the empathy … the inclusiveness Judaism taught me while still fervently believing in equal rights, and empathetic acceptance of difference? Perhaps the answer is so obvious and visible, it’s overlooked in the fervent desire to convince with books, anecdotes, and statistics. Perhaps it’s simply about presumption; the presumption that We Jews have existed during shared triumph and catastrophe for 3,000 years.

And we have remained Jews. Much like a tapestry, each generation has added to its intricacy, complexity and dynamism. And from it, we see the patterns of our fore fathers who have taken on as much as shoulders can bear and then some. We see the images of laughter, wisdom, tears, outrage, tzedakah, courage, involvement in culture and contributions to humanity. Presumption. It’s an elegant way of saying “chutzpah;” the chutzpah to deny, to extinguish a heritage and bloodline sewn, re-sewn, and sewn again in tears and triumph. No one says you must remain Jews, but would you presume to let the 3000 year-old-tapestry fray? Remain undone; unfinished in just a few generations? Ask yourself, my sons, what right does one stitch have to ignore the design? A

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Elul 5778 • Tishrei 5779 | SDJewishJournal.com 91

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Elul 5778 • Tishrei 5779 | SDJewishJournal.com 93

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BUBBLES & BRUNCH

It’s what makes Sunday special. ____________________________________________

MUSIC BY JEANINE TESORI BOOK AND LYRICS BY LISA KRON BASED ON THE GRAPHIC NOVEL BY ALISON BECHDEL DIRECTED BY SAM WOODHOUSE CHOREOGRAPHED BY JAVIER VELASCO

SEPTEMBER 6 – 30, 2018 ON THE LYCEUM STAGE

Get Tickets Now! 619.544.1000 | SDREP.ORG | Lyceum Theatre | Horton Plaza

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Elul 5778 • Tishrei 5779 | SDJewishJournal.com 95 7/16/18 9:53 AM