January 2021

SAN DIEGO

Jewish Journal January

2021

Tevet | Shevat | 5781

SDJA’s Quest for Self-Sustainability

When the the world changes, When rely on on us rely We can can provide provide customized, customized, comprehensive comprehensive advice We advice and and guidance to to help help you you stay stay on on track guidance track and and pursue pursue your your goals. goals.

Call us us to to talk talk itit through. through.

Call The The Callahan Callahan Pascua PascuaGroup Group

Frances Pascua, CIMA®®, CPFA Frances Pascua, CIMA , CPFA Senior Financial Advisor Senior Financial Advisor Senior Portfolio Advisor Senior Portfolio Advisor 619.699.3931 619.699.3931 frances.pascua@ml.com frances.pascua@ml.com Michael C. Callahan Michael C. Callahan Vice President Vice President Senior Financial Advisor Senior PortfolioFinancial ManagerAdvisor Portfolio Manager 619.699.3936 619.699.3936 michael_callahan@ml.com michael_callahan@ml.com Merrill Lynch Wealth Management Merrill Lynch Wealth 701 B Street, Suite 2400 Management 701 Diego, B Street, San CA Suite 921012400 San Diego, CA 92101 fa.ml.com/callahanpascua fa.ml.com/callahanpascua

Merrill Lynch, Pierce, Fenner & Smith Incorporated (also referred to as “MLPF&S” or “Merrill”) makes available certain investment products sponsored, managed, distributed or provided by companies that are affiliates of Bank of America Corporation (“BofA Corp.”). MLPF&S is a registered broker-dealer, registered investment adviser, Member SIPC and a wholly owned subsidiary of BofA Corp.

Merrill Lynch, Pierce, Fenner & Smith Incorporated (also referred to as “MLPF&S” or “Merrill”) makes available certain investment products sponsored, managed, distributed or provided by companies Investment products: Are Not Corporation FDIC Insured Are Not Bank May Lose Value that are affiliates of Bank of America (“BofA Corp.”).

MLPF&S is aGuaranteed registered broker-dealer, registered investment adviser, Member SIPC and a wholly owned subsidiary of BofA Corp.

The Bull Symbol is a registered trademark of Bank of America Corporation.

Investment products: Are Not FDIC Insured Are Not Bank Guaranteed May Lose Value CIMA® is a registered service mark of the Investment Management Consultants Association dba Investments & Wealth Institute.

The Bull Symbol is a registered trademark of Bank of America Corporation. © 2020 Bank of America Corporation. All rights reserved.

MAP3016351 | AD-11-20-1119 | 472522PM-0520 | 11/2020 CIMA® is a registered service mark of the Investment Management Consultants Association dba Investments & Wealth Institute. © 2020 Bank of America Corporation. All rights reserved.

MAP3016351 | AD-11-20-1119 | 472522PM-0520 | 11/2020

2 SDJewishJournal.com January 2021

Tevet | Shevat | 5781 | SDJewishJournal.com 3

B"H

why I choose

CHABAD

"They are willing to teach without judgment."

Andrea S. "Because of the sense of community I get there."

Jon R "Because of the excellent education and how it inspires our children."

Clive C. "They are truly our family. They offered help and comfort when our son passed. Their thoughtfulness and kindness will never be forgotten and always appreciated."

Shari C. "They have provided a guiding light into helping us reclaim our Jewish Heritage through classes, meetings and social events."

Ira B. "They are accepting of all Jews regardless of affiliation or level of Judaic knowledge and welcome all with open arms and a big smile."

Sam S! "Because my Rabbi has always been there for me. " Len H

We have locations all over San Diego!

Scripps Ranch (Chabad S. Diego HQ), Bonita, Carlsbad North, Carmel Valley, Chula Vista, Coronado, Downtown, East County, Encinitas, La Costa, La Jolla, Oceanside/Vista, Pacific Beach, Poway, Rancho S. Fe, S. Marcos, SDSU, UCSD, University City 4 SDJewishJournal.com January 2021

Lawrence Family

Jewish Community Center JACOBS FAMILY CAMPUS

San Diego Center for Jewish Culture

FITNESS IS NOT JUST PHYSICAL, join a community that cares.

bers... m e M w Ne OUR WAIVE Y ON FEE ATI REGISTR FF O 2 / 1 T AND GE MONTH T S R I F YOUR BERSHIP!* OF MEM de: 2021 Use C5/o2020 thru 1/15/2021 /1 Valid 12

Lawrence Family JCC JACOBS FAMILY CAMPUS

is OPEN and HERE FOR YOU

Hope to See You Soon! lfjcc.org | 858.457.3030

*This offer applies to new members joining the JCC for the first time.

Tevet | Shevat | 5781 | SDJewishJournal.com 5

CONTENTS

Tevet | Shevat 5781 January 2021

27 29 31

FEATURE

SDJA’s Hallmark Sustainability Initiative

IN THIS ISSUE

FEATURE

Devoted to Dreams

FEATURE

Unlocking the Jewish Interfaith Home with JCo and 18Doors

MONTHLY COLUMNS

IN EVERY ISSUE

10 From the Editor 18 Personal Development and Judaism 20 Israeli Lifestyle 22 Examined Life 24 Religion 42 Advice

12 Mailbag 14 What’s Up Online 16 Our Town 36 Online Offerings 35 Food 40 News

ALSO IN THIS ISSUE 39 OP-ED: Tikkun Olam Part 10

6 SDJewishJournal.com January 2021

Featuring

RAIN PRYOR

Actress, Comedian, and Daughter of Famed Entertainer Richard Pryor

February 28, 2021 | 11am Celebrate the resilience, strength, and hope of women who build and support Jewish community today, tomorrow, and for generations to come.

Chairs: Stacie Bresler-Reinstein | Judi Gottschalk | Carla Modiano We are looking for Virtual Table Captains to join our recruitment effort and to help build a vibrant virtual community. For more information, contact Molly Okun: 858-737-7121 | mollyo@jewishinsandiego.org

Register: jewishinsandiego.org/options An $18 minimum donation is requested to attend this event.

858-571-3444

jewishinsandiego.org Tevet | Shevat | 5781 | SDJewishJournal.com 7

Larry M. Katz Certified Public Accountant

SAN DIEGO

Jewish Journal

www.sdjewishjournal.com • Income Tax Preparation • IRS and State Audit Representation • Litigation Support Services • Forensic Accounting Services • Business Consulting Services Since 1983

3070 Racetrack View Drive Del Mar, CA 92014 858.461.0115 lkatz@lkatzcpa.com www.lkatzcpa.com

JANUARY 2021 • TEVET | SHEVAT 5781

PUBLISHERS • Mark Edelstein and Dr. Mark Moss EDITOR-IN-CHIEF • Jacqueline Bull ASSISTANT EDITOR • Nathalie Feingold ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR • Eileen Sondak CREATIVE DIRECTOR • Derek Berghaus OFFICE MANAGER • Jonathan Ableson SENIOR CONSULTANT • Ronnie Weisberg CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Emily Bartell, Linda Bennett, Leorah Gavidor, Emily Gould, Judith Fein (Senior Travel Correspondent), Paul Ross (Senior Travel Photographer), Patricia Goldblatt, Pat Launer, Sharon Rosen Leib, Andrea Simantov, Marnie Macauley, Rabbi Jacob Rupp, Saul Levine, Rachael Eden, Sybil Kaplan.

ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVES Jonathan Ableson – Senior Account Executive Alan Moss – Palm Springs SAN DIEGO JEWISH JOURNAL (858) 638-9818 • fax: (858) 263-4310 7742 Herschel Avenue, Suite H, La Jolla, CA 92037 EDITORIAL: editor@sdjewishjournal.com ADVERTISING: marke@sdjewishjournal.com CIRCULATION & SUBSCRIPTIONS: jableson@sdjewishjournal.com ART DEPARTMENT: art@sdjewishjournal.com LISTINGS & CALENDAR: assistant@sdjewishjournal.com

Children ages 9 months to 6 years Proven Montessori Method and Philosophy Bilingual Program: English & Spanish Learning through hands-on experience Integrated secular and Judaic curriculum Skilled teachers, trained in early childhood development

SDJJ is published monthly by San Diego Jewish Journal, LLC. Subscription rate is $24 for one year (12 issues). Send subscription requests to SDJJ, 7742 Herschel Ave., Suite H, La Jolla, CA 92037. The San Diego Jewish Journal is a free and open forum for the expression of opinions. The opinions expressed herein are solely the opinion of the author and in no way reflect the opinions of the publishers, staff or advertisers. The San Diego Jewish Journal is not responsible for the accuracy of any and all information within advertisements. The San Diego Jewish Journal reserves the right to edit all submitted materials, including press releases, letters to the editor, articles and calendar listings for brevity and clarity. The Journal is not legally responsible for the accuracy of calendar or directory listings, nor is it responsible for possible postponements, cancellations or changes in venue. Manuscripts, letters, documents and photographs sent to the Journal become the physical property of the publication, which is not responsible for the return or loss of such material. All contents ©2021 by San Diego Jewish Journal. The San Diego Jewish Journal is a member of the American Jewish Press Association and the Jewish Telegraphic Agency.

Secured, state-of-the-art facilities

#SDJewishJournal

On The Cover : SDJA 8 SDJewishJournal.com January 2021

SanDiegoJewishJournal

immer al Consultant rance Lic #O178195 mmer@wfadvisors.com

Zeebah Aleshi  Investment Strategies Senior Registered Client As CA Insurance Lic #0G75099 12531 High Bluff Dr, Suitezeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors 400

12531 High Bluff Dr,92130 Suite 400 A lot has gone into earning your wealth.

San Diego, CA 858-523-7913 A lot hasWe'll gone intosure earning wealth.

San Diego, CA 92130 you manage it. make the sameyour goes into helping www.LiberLincoln WMG.com are going to have toSuite make 12531 High Bluff Dr,You Suite 400 12531HHigh Suite 400 Gil make 12531 High Bluff Dr, 400 some choices, 858-523-7913 igh Bluff BluffDr, Drive, STE We'll sure the same goes into helping you12531 manage it. o earning your wealth.

San Diego, CA 92130 A lot has gone into earning your wealth.

San Diego, CA 92130 A lot has gone into earning your wealth.

San Diego, CA 92130 San Diego, CA 92130 www.LiberLincoln WMG.com you have tostill make them alone.

As You ssociate are to have to make some choices, successful asbut you going are, we don’t understand there's more you want to do. Liber Lincoln Wealth Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® ey R Liber, CFP® 858-523-7913 858-523-7913 858-523-7913 he same goes into helping you manage it. make We'll sure the same goes into helping y We'll make sure the same goes into helping you manage it.858-­‐ 5 23-­‐ 7 904 a nagement has the experience to craft a plan to help you reach those goals.

Find out why so many M Director-Investments www.LiberLincoln WMG.com www.LiberLincoln WMG.com Senior Vice President-Investments www.LiberLincoln WMG.com eaging going to have to make some choices, You are going to have to make so

YouChanging are going some choices, n Spanish jobs canto be have difficult to but make we are with you every step of the way.

you don’t have to make them alone. people trust us to them manage their wealth with care itwant deserves. ssurance successful asbut you are, wehelp understand there's still more you to do. Liber Lincoln Wealt Lic #0C28496 CA Insurance Lic the #0821851 Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® •

don’t have to make them alone. but you don’t have tostill make them

you don’t to make them alone. e.gil@wfadvisors.com understand there's still more you want do.have Liber Lincoln Wealth As successful as youwant are, wedo. understand there's more CIMA® you want As successful as you we understand there’s still more you have to do.

Liber Lincoln Wealth don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com Jeffrey Retirement Plans y.liber@wfadvisors.com successful asbut youare, are, we understand there's still more you to Liber Lincoln Wealth Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® • Investment Strategies Don Lincoln, CFP®, RtoLiber, CFP® Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® iber, CFP® a nagement has the experience to craft a plan to help you reach those goals.

Find out why so nvestments Senior Vice President-Investments Jeffrey R Liber, C FP® Don Lincoln, CFP®, C IMA® ience to craft Changing can be difficult but we with you every step of the way.

Management ofjobs Wells Fargo Advisors has the experience to experience craft a goals. plan toFind help you reach those a plan toGroup helpthe you reach those goals.

Find out why soare many M a nagement has the to craft a plan to help you reach th plan  Life/Disability Insurance Managing Director-Investments a nagement has experience to craft a to help you reach those out why so many M Senior Vice President-Investments Senior Vice President-Invest Director-Investments Senior Vice President-Investments

12531

bs can trust be difficult buthelp weChanging are with jobs you every of wealth thebut way.

Changing jobs can bethe difficult but we are with you e can bestep difficult we with areLic with you every step of way.President-­‐ Managing Director-­‐ Investments Senior Vice Investments eople us to them manage their the care it deserves.

28496 CA Insurance #0821851 Zeebah Aleshi Grimmer m manage their wealth the itmanage deserves. people trust us to help them manage wealth with care it d goals.

Find why so care many people trust to helpwith them manage wealth withtheir theInsurance care it deserves. people trustout uswith to them their wealth care ittheir deserves.

Insurance Lic us #0C28496 CA Insurance Lichelp #0821851 CA Lic the #0821851 CAInvestment Strategies nce Lic #0C28496 • CA Insurance Lic the #0821851

Lic #0C28496 S CA Insurance CA Insurance Lic #0821851 Senior Registered Associate cial Consultant  Retirement Plans sors.com ment Plansdon.lincoln@wfadvisors.com Client Retirement Plansdon.lincoln@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com • Investment Strategies • Investment Strategies don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com  Retirement Plansdon.lincoln@wfadvisors.com er@wfadvisors.com • Investment Strategies don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com CA Insurance Lic #0G75099 surance Lic #O178195 jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com isability Insurance  Life/Disability Insurance  Life/DisabilityInsurance Insurance 12531 H  Life/Disability www zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com grimmer@wfadvisors.com Zeebah Aleshi  Investment Zeebah Aleshi Gina Grimmer Zeebah Aleshi mer Strategies ment  Investment Strategies Strategies San Zeebah Aleshi

®  Investment Strategies Client Associate Jeffrey R Liber, CFPClient Associate Senior Registered Client AssC Financial Consultant Don Lincoln, Senior Registered ConsultantSenior Registered

Gina Grimmer Waddell 8 Senior Registered Client Associate nia Gil CA Insurance LicAlissa #0G75099 CA Insurance LicDon #0G75099 CA Insurance Lic Insurance #O178195 High Bluff Drive, STE 400 CA Lic #0G75099 nce Lic #O178195 Jeffrey RDirector-Investments Liber,12531 CFP® Lincoln Managing Senior Vice Pre Registered Client Associate AVP -­‐ Registered C lient Associate San Diego, CA 92130 t78195 Associatezeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.c gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com mer@wfadvisors.com CA Insurance Lic #0G75099 Managing DirectorInvestments Senior ViceL CA insurance Lic #0178195 CA insurance Lic #0I18483 Gina G rimmer 858-­‐ 5 23-­‐ 7 904 Alissa W addell CA Insurance Lic #0C28496 CA Insurance t in Spanish CA Insurance LicCFP® #0C28496 CA Lincoln, InsurancC visors.com eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com Registered Client Associate AVP -­‐alissa.waddell@wfadvisors.com Registered Client Azeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com ssociate Jeffrey R Liber, Don nia.gil@wfadvisors.com Yesenia Don.Lincoln@w il 12531 High Bluff Drive, STE Jeffrey.Liber@wfadvisors.com 400Gil 12531 High Bluff Drive, STE 4 12531 H igh Bluff Drive, S TE 4 00 Jeffrey Liber, CFP® L ic #0I18483 Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@ CA insurance Lic #0178195 CA iRnsurance Managing DirectorInvestments San Diego, CA Investments 92130 Associate Diego, CA Vice 92130 Pr San Vice Diego, CA 92130 12531 High Bluff Drive, STE 400 San Senior Managing Director-­‐ Client Senior President-­‐ Investments ociate eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com 858-­‐5Lic 23-­‐ 7904 in Spanish San Diego, CA 92130 CA Insurance Lic #0C28496 CA5Insurance 858-­‐ 23-­‐7904 CAalissa.waddell@wfadvisors.com Insurance #0C28496 CA Insurance Lic #0821851 858-­‐ 23-­‐ 7–v1 904 ©2009 Wells FargoFluent Advisors, LLC. All rights reserved.

88580 -0312-2590 (e7460) panish Patty Dutra 12531 H5igh Bluff Drive, STE 858-523-7904 400 jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com Michelle Hasten don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@w 12531 High Bluff Drive, STE 400 Investment and Insurance Products offered !NOT FDIC Insured !NO Bank Guar yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com San through Diego, Caffiliates: A 9www.liberlincolnwmg.com 2130 @wfadvisors.com

or Registered SeniGina Grimmer Client Associate 858-­‐523-­‐7904 Associate CA Registered InsuranceClient Lic #0183194 CA insurance Gina GrimmerLic #O178195 Michelle.Hasten@wfadvisors.com Registered Client Associate eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com

SeniorYesenia ClientGil A Client Assoc 858-523-7904 FluentGil in Sp Yesenia Patty.Dutra@wf

Don Lincoln, CFP®, Jeffrey R Liber, CFP® Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® San Diego, CA 92130 !MAY Lose Value Jeffrey R Liber, CFP® CIMA® Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® ® ® Jeffrey R Liber, Don12531 Lincoln, , CIMA 12531 High CFP Bluff®Drive,Senior STE 400 12531 H High CFP Bluff Drive, STE 400 Senior Vice President-­‐ Investments SeniorAlissa Vice PWaddell resident-­‐ Investments Managing Director-­‐ Investments Managing Director-­‐ Investments Vice President-­‐ Investments Gina Grimmer 858-523-7904 San Diego, CA 92130 San Jeffrey R Liber, CFP® Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® CA Insurance Lic #0821851 CA Insurance Lic #0C28496 CA Insurance Lic #0821851 Managing Director-Investments Senior Vice San President-Investments Diego, CA 92130 CA Insurance Lic #0C28496 CA Insurance Licthrough #0821851 Client Associate AVP -­‐estment Registered lient Associate Inv Wells FargoCand Advisors, LLC, Member SIPC, isRegistered a registered broker-dealer a separate affiliate WellsGuaran Fargo & Insurance Products offered affiliates: and !NOT FDICnon-bank Insured !NO of Bank don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com Managing DirectorInvestments Senior Vice PresidentInvestments 858-523-7904 jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com CA i nsurance L ic # 0178195 CA insurance Lic #0I18483 858-523-7904 Gina Grimmer Alissa W©2009 addell CA Insurance LicBluff #0C28496 Insurance Lic Drive, #0821851 !MAY Lose Value Wells FargoHigh Advisors, LLC.STE All 400 rights reserved. CA 88580 –v1 -0312-2590 (e7460) 12531 Drive, 12531 Hig 12531 Bluff STE 400 Insurance LicCFP® #0C28496 CA High Insurance Lic #0821851 eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com www.liberlincolnwmg.com www.

Registered Client Associate AVP -­‐alissa.waddell@wfadvisors.com Registered Client CA Associate Jeffrey R Liber, Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® www.liberlincolnwmg.com Jeffrey R Liber, C FP® Don Lincoln, CFP®, C IMA® Jeffrey.Liber@wfadvisors.com Don.Lincoln@wfadvisors.com San Diego, CA 92130 San D San Diego, CA 92130

® ® ®

® jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com

® ® ® Lic #Jeffrey 0178195 CA insurance Lic #0I18483 Managing DirectorInvestmentsCA insurance Senior Vice PresidentInvestments , CFPManaging Director-­‐ Don Lincoln, , CIMA R Liber, CFP Don Lincoln, CF Jeffrey R Liber, CFP Don Lincoln, CFP , CIMA 12531 High Bluff Drive, STE 400 Gina Grimmer Investments Senior Vice P resident-­‐ Investments Gina Grimmer Alissa Waddell Gina Grimmer Alissa Waddell 858-523-7904 85C eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com alissa.waddell@wfadvisors.com CAAllLincoln, Insurance Lic 88580 #0C28496 CA Insurance Lic #0821851 858-523-7904 ,tor-Investments CFP® Don CFP®, CIMA® Jeffrey R Liber, CFP® Don Lincoln, ©2009 Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC. rights reserved.

–v1 -0312-2590 (e7460) Senior Vice President-Investments Patty Dutra Managing Director-Investments Senior Vice Presi RDirector-Investments Liber,Hasten CFP® CFP®, CIMA® Registered Client Associate Managing Vice President-Investments elle Mich AVP -­‐Senior Registered CLincoln, lient Associate Registered Client Associate AVP Registered CJeffrey lient Associate San Diego, CARegistered 92130 Client Associate CA Insurance Lic-­‐Investment #0C28496 CA Insurance LicDon #0821851 jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com Products offered through affiliates: !NOT FDIC Insured Managing !NO Bank DirectorGuarantee Investments InvestmentsGina Senior ViceLic PresidentInvestments Senior ViceLic Pr CA insurance Land ic #Insurance 0178195 Managing DirectorInvestments Senior Vice PresidentInvestments Gina CA insurance Lic #0178195 CA Lic #0I18483 Ginsurance rimmer Grimmer Alissa Winsurance addell CA insurance Lic #0178195 cctor#0C28496 CA Lic #0I18483 CA Insurance #0821851 Senior Client Associate CA Insurance Lic #0C28496 CA Insurance Gina G rimmer Alissa W addell !MAY Lose Value CA Insurance Lic #0C28496 or Registered Client Associa Seni te CA Insurance Lic #0821851 Yesenia Gil Gina Grimmer jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com 858-523-7904 #0C28496 CARLincoln, Insurance Lic #0821851 CA Insurance LicCFP® #0C28496 CA Lincoln, Insurance eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com alissa.waddell@wfadvisors.com CA Insurance Lic #0C28496 CA Insurance Lic #0821851 Registered Client Associate ,icCFP® Don CFP®, CIMA® Registered C lient A ssociate AVP -­‐

R egistered C lient A ssociate Jeffrey R Liber, Don CF eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com alissa.waddell@wfadvisors.com Registered C lient A ssociate AVP -­‐

R egistered C lient A ssociate Jeffrey Liber, CFP® Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® Client 12531 Associate High Bluff Drive, STE 400Don.Lincoln@wfa Registered Client Associate fadvisors.com CA Inv Don.Lincoln@wfadvisors.com 858-523-7904 Jeffrey.Liber@wfadvisors.com Jeffrey.Liber@wfadvisors.com CA Insurance #0183194 Don.Lincoln@wfadvisors.com Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC, Member SIPC, is aLic registered broker-dealer a separate non-bank affiliate of WellsGuarantee Fargo & Company. estment and Insurance Products offered through affiliates: and !NOT Insured !NO Bank wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@w insurance LValue #0178195 jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com CA insurance Lic Senior #don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com 0I18483 ctor- Investments Senior Vice PresidentInvestments Managing DirectorInvestmentsCA insurance Lic #0178195 Senior Vice Pres www.liberlincolnwmg.com ic FDIC #0178195 CA insurance Lic #ic 0I18483 Managing DirectorVice PresidentInvestments !MAY Lose ©2009 Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC. All rightsInvestments reserved.

88580CA –v1insurance -0312-2590L(e7460) Fluent in Spanish Yesenia Gil CA insurance Lic #O178195 Gina Grimmer San Diego, CA 92130 Patty.Dutra@wfadvisors.com eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com alissa.waddell@wfadvisors.com ic #0C28496 alissa.waddell@wfadvisors.com CA Insurance Lic #0821851 CA Insurance Lic #0C28496 CA Insurance Lic CAMichelle.Hasten@wfadvisors.com

® ® ® eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com Insurance Lic #0C28496 CA Insurance Lic #0821851

ors.com

CA insurance Lic #0178195 eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com 12531 High

Client Associa yesenia.gil@ Fluent in Span Suite yesenia.gil@w 400

Bluff Dr., San Diego, CA 92130 Patty Dutra Client Associate Dutra yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com Registered eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com JeffreyMich RPatty Liber, CFP Client Associate Gina Grimmer Don Lincoln, CFP , CIMA Patty Dutra en elle Hasten Mich elle Hasten wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wf jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com Alissa Waddell Fluent in Spanish CA insurance Lic #0178195 858-523-7904 Senior Client Associate SeniorYesenia ClientGil Ass ed Client AssociaManaging te Client Associate Yesenia Gil or Registered Client Associa Seni te Gina Grimmer Registered Client AssociateRegisteredSenior Seni Yesenia Gil Gina Grimmer Ror Liber, CFP® Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® Director-Investments Senior Vice President-Investments yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com 858-523-7904 Client Associate AVP -­‐ Registered CJeffrey lient Associate 12531 High Bluff Dr., Suite 400 ClientClient Associate Client Associa ent Associate Registered Client Associate 858-523-7904 858-523-7904 Client Associate Registered Associate c #0183194 858-523-7904 CA Insurance Lic #0183194 CA Insurance Lic #0183194 Managing DirectorInvestmentsGina CA Senior ViceLic PresidentInvestments insurance Lic #0178195 CA Lic #0I18483 Grimmer Alissa Winsurance addell CA Insurance Lic #0C28496 CA Insurance #0821851 Fluent inLicSpanish Yesenia Gil ic #O178195 FluentGil in Span Yesenia CA insurance Gina GrimmerLic #O178195 Fluent in Spanish San Diego, CAPatty.Dutra@wfadvisors.com 92130 Yesenia Gil CA insurance #O178195 Gina Grimmer Patty.Dutra@wfadvisors.com Patty.Dutra@wfad www.LiberLincolnWMG.COM n@wfadvisors.com Michelle.Hasten@wfadvisors.com Michelle.Hasten@wfadvisors.com CA Insurance Lic #0C28496 CA Insurance Lic #0821851 eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com Client Associate yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com Client Associate ent Associate Registered Client Associate mer@wfadvisors.com yesenia.gil@w AVP -­‐alissa.waddell@wfadvisors.com Registered Client Jeffrey Associate Registered Client CFP®, Associate eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com R Liber, CFP® Don Lincoln, CIMA® Client Associate yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com Registered Client Associate eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com

d. 88580 –v1 -0312-2590 (e7460) ©2009 Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC. All rights reserved. 88580 –v1 -0312-2590 (e7460) ©2009 Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC. All rights reserved. 88580 –v1 -0312-2590 (e7460) ered through affiliates: !NOT FDIC Insured !NO Bank Guarantee Investment and!NO Insurance Products offered through affiliates: !NOT FDIC Insured !NO Bank Guaran Investment and Insurance Products offered through affiliates: !NOT FDIC Insured Bank Guarantee !MAY Lose Value !MAY Lose Value

egistered broker-dealer and a separate non-bank affiliate Wells Fargo & Company.

InvFDIC Wells Fargoand Advisors, LLC, Member is a registered broker-dealer a separate WellsGuarante Fargo & C d through affiliates: !NOT FDIC Insured !NO of Bank estment Insurance Products offered through affiliates: and !NOT FDICnon-bank Insuredaffiliate !NO of Bank Inv Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC, Member SIPC, isGuarantee a registered broker-dealer a separate non-bank affiliate of Wells FargoSIPC, & Company. estment and Insurance Products offered through affiliates: and !NOT Insured !NO Bank Guarantee served. 88580 –v1 -0312-2590 (e7460) LoseWells Value ©2009 Fargo Advisors, LLC. All rights reserved. 88580 –v1 -0312-2590 (e7460) !MAY LoseWells Value ©2009 Fargo Advisors, LLC. All rights reserved. 88580 –v1 -0312-2590!MAY (e7460)

Jeffrey.Liber@wfadvisors.com

Don.Lincoln@wfadvisors.com

858-523-7904 Fluent in Spanish ic #0178195 insurance #0178195 Investments jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com Fluent CA in don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com Spanish CA insurance LicInvestments #0178195 CA insurance Lic #0178195 CA insurance Lic #0I18483 Managing DirectorSenior ViceLicPresidentyesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com www.LiberLincolnWMG.COM mer@wfadvisors.com eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com 12531 High Bluff Dr., Suite 400 12531 High Bluff Dr., 12531 High Bluff Dr., Suite yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com 400 eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com

Fluent in Spanis

Suite yesenia.gil@wfa 400 alissa.waddell@wfadvisors.com CAAllInsurance Lic 88580 #0C28496 09 Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC. rights reserved.

–v1 -0312-2590 (e7460) Patty Dutra elle Hasten Mich San Diego, CA 92130 San Diego, CA 92130 jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com Diego, CA FDIC 92130 Investment and Insurance Products offered through San affiliates: !NOT Insured !NO Bank Guarantee Senior Client Associate !MAY Lose Value or Registered Client Associa Seni te Yesenia Gil Gina Grimmer 858-523-7904 858-523-7904 858-523-7904 Client Associate Registered Client Associate 858-523-7904 www.LiberLincolnWMG.COM www.LiberLincolnWMG.COM CA Insurance Lic #0183194 www.LiberLincolnWMG.COM Wells Fargoand Advisors, LLC, Member SIPC, is a registered broker-dealer a separate WellsGuarantee Fargo & Company. estment Insurance Products offered through affiliates: and !NOT FDICnon-bank Insuredaffiliate !NO of Bank AY LoseWells Value Wells Fargo Advisors is a trade name used88580

by Wells–v1 Fargo Clearing Services, LLC, Member SIPC, a registered broker and non-bank affiliate of Wells Fargo & Company . ©2009 Fargo Advisors, LLC. All rights reserved.

-0312-2590 (e7460) Fluent indealer Spanish Yesenia Gil CA insurance Lic #O178195 Gina Grimmer Patty.Dutra@wfadvisors.com Wells Fargo Advisors is a trade name used by Wells Fargo Clearing Services, LLC, Member SIPC, a registered broker d Michelle.Hasten@wfadvisors.com Client Associate yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com Registered Client Associate eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com CA Insurance Lic #0821851

CA insurance Lic #0178195 eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com 12531 High

CAR-1220-02367

Fluent in Spanish Suite yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com 400

Bluff Dr., San Diego, CA 92130 858-523-7904

ells Fargo Clearing Services, LLC,Advisors Memberis SIPC, registered broker non-bank affiliate Wells Fargo &aCompany .broker Wells Fargo Advisors is a trade namedealer used by Wells Fargo Clearing SIPC,. a registered broker deal Wells Fargo a tradeaname used by Wellsdealer Fargoand Clearing Services, LLC,of Member SIPC, registered and non-bank affiliate Services, of Wells LLC, FargoMember & Company

Tevet | Shevat | 5781 | SDJewishJournal.com 9

The Quiet, Cautious Masses

I

think rarely does the turning over of a new calendar year correlate to any major shifts in society; 2020 to 2021 may be an exception. We are seeing the distribution of the vaccine roll out and we will soon have a new president. I enjoy the shiny new hope of the new year, but I think expecting everything to be solved at the turn over of the clock will only lead to immense disappointment. Granted, being the mouth piece for pessimism doesn’t bring me joy. I really believe taking the developments of the day one step at a time is the path forward and leads to the best outcome.

At time of writing, there have been just over half a million doses administered in the U.S.. And a new, more contagious strain has been detected. The signs look hopeful that the vaccines will be effective on the new strain, but that still leaves the job of getting the vaccine to everyone. And it will not be quick. Finding any kind of estimation on that timeline is impossible.

(I’m holding out hope that by the time you are reading this, that isn’t true anymore.)

Furthermore, where the doses are going is determined by each state. Suffice to say, there is not an overwhelming amount of certainty on how this will all play out.

The state-by-state approach opens the door for a very strange and piecemeal ap-

proach. What if say Tennessee and Washington state differ in their prioritizations?

You will have some groups in some places like essential workers in Indiana not yet covered, but people over 65 in Maine will be.

So we wait. This could lead to a “vaccine purgatory” as the Atlantic called it.

My stomach churns at the ethical mess this could become. Personally, I’m an adult, non-student and likely to be at the end of the priority line, but I can see how a person over 65 could be getting their dancing shoes out of the closet getting ready to celebrate their individual immunity. Perhaps I’ll see from my window a horde of people dancing the hustle while I wait for my dose.

We’re already seeing politicians (even those who stake pro-dying-over-being-vaccinated crowds!) jump to the front of the line, ahead of nurses.

I spend a lot of my time thinking about all the ethical questions 2020 has raised.

And I spend a lot of time trying to put myself in the shoes and minds of the people who I believe have behaved unethically.

Psychologically, the pandemic has been brutal to bear: isolation, unemployment, poverty, sickness and death of loved ones.

Then there are the more abstract pressures.

One can feel unsettled by the half-hearted

From The Editor 10 SDJewishJournal.com January 2020

governance from our elected leaders and gas-lit by their friends and family who flippantly risk their own and others’ lives.

We all cope in our own ways. I try to have grace for the people who risked a family gathering–for Thanksgiving for example–and my eye turns to the 60 53-foot refrigerated morgue trucks coming into California.

It is easy to forget that the cautious masses won’t be on the news.

I’ll be here to say that I see you. I see that you always wore your mask, that you always used hand sanitizer before and after grocery shopping, gave up travel plans, didn’t go out for drinks and donated blood and time and money. Your actions are the reason someone is alive today and tomorrow and next week and however long until you are vaccinated. And that is worth it.

You and I won’t know who we saved, but it could’ve been each other, so thank you. A

Jacqueline Bull

Person by person. Family by family.

This is how we move forward together.

2020 was a year like no other. Despite unprecedented challenges faced by our community, together we united to help thousands of our neighbors struggling during the pandemic.

Thanks to your continued support, Jewish Family Service is providing critical care and vital services to families, individuals, and isolated older adults every day.

Today, tomorrow, and however long this pandemic lasts, JFS is here for all San Diegans—from response to recovery. nced...

Just Annou

13 YEARS

of Earning Charity Navigator’s Highest 4-Star Rating Only 1% of nonprofits nationwide can make this claim

As a recipient of Charity Navigator’s highest distinction for 13 consecutive years, we remain committed to serving our community with accountability, transparency, and fiscal responsibility. Thank you for putting your trust in us and supporting our mission—empowering people to thrive across the lifespan.

Together we will build a stronger, healthier, more resilient San Diego.

www.jfssd.org | (858) 637-3000 Tevet | Shevat | 5781 | SDJewishJournal.com 11

let us know what’s on your mind.

Good morning, I started baking challah during the pandemic and this past Friday I made a special one.

– Susan Levin

@SANDIEGOJEWISHJOURNAL

Send us your comments: editor@sdjewishjournal.com 7742 Herschel Ave., Ste H, La Jolla, CA 92037.

Please consider our guidelines for Letters to the Editor prior to submitting your comments: The San Diego Jewish Journal welcomes reader responses to articles. Due to space limitations, responses to articles cannot exceed 200 words and will be edited in coordination with the letter’s author and at the discretion of the editor and publishers.

For readers who wish to submit multiple letters, we require three issue months to pass between published letters so as to make space for more reader responses.

All readers can comment as often as they’d like in the comments section of our website, found at the bottom of every article on sdjewishjournal. com. Magazine articles are republished on the website at the beginning of each issue month.

12 SDJewishJournal.com January 2021

Tevet | Shevat | 5781 | SDJewishJournal.com 13

what’s up

online

@sdjewishjournal.com

From Dubai to hospitals to, yes, Zoom, here are 12 snapshots of how Jews around the world celebrated Hanukkah this year What would Hanukkah be without parties? That’s the question Jews around the world faced this winter, with the coronavirus pandemic making gatherings of any size unsafe. But as with the other holidays that have taken place since the pandemic began in March, the celebrations adapted to meet the moment.

Rio inaugurates long-awaited Holocaust memorial with 72-foot-tall tower Rio de Janeiro inaugurated a Holocaust memorial that includes a 72-foot-tall tower and overlooks the Sugarloaf Mountain, one of South America’s most famous landmarks.

The memorial’s tower is divided into 10 parts, representing the Ten Commandments. At its base, the sentence “Thou shalt not kill” is written. A large underground space houses a high-tech interactive exhibition area.

How homemade jachnun is giving a lifeline to European Jews in a second COVID wave

After Gal Graber and Tal Goldman had a disappointing experience with a store-bought jachnun, the two Israelis living in Amsterdam set out to make the slow-cooked Yemenite bread on their own.

Here’s what that looked like.

New York City The car parade has become a feature of 2020 celebrations. In New York City, a group of Chabad Jews danced on top of a car in the center of Times Square on Dec. 14, 2020, while others drove around the city in vehicles decked out for the holiday.

Tel Aviv Medical staff workers lit Hanukkah candles and celebrated with patients at the COVID-19 isolation ward of Ichilov Hospital in Tel Aviv on Dec. 15, 2020.

“As with many Israelis, jachnun is connected in our minds with Saturday mornings, with quality time,” Graber told the Jewish Telegraphic Agency. “But the frozen ones for sale here are not great. So we decided to make our own.”

It turned out to be a prescient undertaking. Earlier this year, the restaurant where Graber was working–& moshik, which had two Michelin stars thanks to its Israeli chef Moshik Roth–shut down during the Netherlands’ first coronavirus lockdown. Like restaurant workers around the world, Graber and his French girlfriend, Mathilde Lair, who was head pastry chef at & moshik’s, both lost their jobs.

Now, Graber, Goldman and Lair spend their days baking and delivering the buttery rolled bread that is a standby of Yemenite families’ Shabbat lunch tables and delivering it by scooter throughout Amsterdam.

14 SDJewishJournal.com January 2021

Italy The chief rabbi of Rome, Riccardo Di Segni, lit the Hanukkah menorah on Dec. 5 in front of the National Institute for Infectious Diseases Lazzaro Spallanzani, where thousands of patients with COVID-19 received treatment. The event was dedicated to the doctors and health workers on the front line of the coronavirus pandemic, which hit Italy early and hard.

FIND LOVE in the New Year!

Personalized Jewish Matchmaking

Judith Gottesman, MSW If I wouldn't have contacted Judith, my life would be very different. I wanted to thank Judith for the time and persistence to find me the right person.

Gideon S. in San Diego

No one cares more about helping people than Judith. She helped me meet my wife, through utmost dedication and care.

G H in La Jolla

Soul Mates Unlimited ÂŽ

All ages and backgrounds

(510) Read testimonials at SoulMatesUnlimited.com

418-8813 Tevet | Shevat | 5781 | SDJewishJournal.com 15

our TOWN

BY LINDA BENNETT & EMILY BARTELL

With limits placed on live events in our community we are grateful for the joy we continue to receive from our life-cycle events:

Mazel Tov

Noah Mattes on becoming a Bar Mitzvah on Nov. 21 at Temple Beth Am. Happy parents are Hilary & Michael Mattes. Looking on with pride were grandmothers Judy Gumbiner (it was her birthday too) and Lily Mattes and siblings Sean (15), and Ryan (10). Late Grandfathers Steve Gumbiner and Sam Mattes would be incredibly proud of their grandson. Leading the service were Rabbi Kornberg and Rabbi Earne.

Charles Colona and Gabi Tukeman on the announcement of their engagement. Parents are Carrie & Mathew Colona and Mark & Sally Tukeman, of Temple Emanu-El. Mazel Tov to Morganne Sigismonti and Hillel Rubin on the announcement of their engagement. Parents are Cathy & James Sigismonti, Kathy Robbins and Jan Statman. Grandparents are Harriet & Les Ness.

Jordan & Alex Chaim on the birth of their son Leo Autana.

In a year unlike any other, usually held at the Kennedy Center in Washington, DC, the ADL presented its first ever virtual presentation, “In Concert Against Hate”, on Dec. 6. Hosted by Debra Messing, this 25-year tradition enjoyed an extraordinary lineup of talent including Andra Day, Kenny Loggins, Adam Levine, Bebe Neuwirth, Bob Costas, George Takei, Olivia Boisson and many others. Among the 2020 Honorees was our dear friend, Holocaust survivor, Gerda Weissman Klein, who has spent her life teaching and healing others. 18 years ago, having 16 SDJewishJournal.com January 2021

been a part of her life, Gerda was in attendance when Marla Ann Bennett was honored in memoriam.

The “Friday Afternoon Yenta’s Group” has been meeting since April in driveways and backyards to exchange ideas, information and laughs during this pandemic. With social distancing always enforced, this small group includes Vivian Wohlwend, Susan Kaplan, Rosie Jacobson, Marilyn Green, Pam Monroe, Linda Luttbeg, Judy Gumbiner and assorted guests.

Mazel Tov on the success of a new children’s book that came out in time for this past Hanukkah by Yale Strom! “Shloyml Boyml - Bilingual Hanukkah adventure in Yiddish and English.” A marvelous Hanukkah adventure in Yiddishland! The text is in English, Yiddish and Swedish, with illustrations by the wonderful artist Emil Fur. Mazel Tov to Mien Le and writing partner, Dan Santat on their book, “LIFT” being named one of the Best Children’s Books of 2020 by the Washington Post.

Mien Le is married to San Diego native, Aimee Oberndorfer Le.

Yom Huledets Sameach to…

Rose Schindler celebrating her 91st birthday.

Celebrating Wedding Anniversaries with infinite love & happiness, Nikki & Jerome Klein, 65 years.

Gail & Thomas Pliner, 58 years.

Erin & Richard Savitch, 55 years.

Nancy & David Amiel, 54 years.

Lauren & Robert Resnik, 54 years.

Ann & Alan Chaitin, 53 years.

Benjamin & Olga Mandel, 50 years.

Harry & Janet Zanville, 50 years. A

Tevet | Shevat | 5781 | SDJewishJournal.com 17

PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT AND JUDAISM

THIS WAY TO EDEN

by Rachel Eden rachel.s.eden@gmail.com

All In

I

recently saw a photo online of a determined-looking man with a single tear running down his cheek. I read the attached story: Alex Idrache grew up in a slum in Haiti and he tells the story of how U.S. soldiers were deployed to his neighborhood following the earthquake there several years ago. He says their presence was the first experience of “hope” he recalls in his childhood. He remembers looking at his dad and asking him who the people were that were helping. His dad looked at him and said, “They are American soldiers.”

He looked back at his father and said, “One day, I will be an American soldier.” His father knew the situation in Haiti was unworkable and tried for several years to obtain a visa to come to the United States. After being denied for several years, he was finally granted a spot in Baltimore. He purchased a ticket on a boat for his family and left Haiti. They arrived and Alex, remembering his dream in the slum several years prior, looked for a way to join the U.S. Army. He found a national guard program that allowed him to join the Army in exchange for citizenship. He didn’t hesitate.

Despite his severe lack of formal education, he graduated as an honor graduate. From a slum in Port au Prince to soldier.

Alex Idrache is living his life all-in. He didn’t just try to join the army or integrate as a U.S. citizen. He got it done, he demonstrated heroic determination and he fully committed.

Peter Weintraub, weight loss specialist 18 SDJewishJournal.com January 2021

and coach, wrote an article in the Huffington Post called “Why Trying Isn’t Good Enough”. He wrote of how his mindset was critical in successfully losing 100 lbs and keeping the weight off. In his words: “Early on in my relationships with my clients...I can often tell whether certain people are going to be successful or if they’re not going to be successful by their language. I’ve seen many a person come to me amped up and ready to go, but then I hear them say things like, ‘I’m going to try my best!’ I understand that many of us are taught to be modest when growing up, but when it comes to succeeding on this crazy journey of ours, trying simply isn’t good enough.”

Here’s why this matters in my life. If I phone in my marriage, for example, I can skate by for some time. My husband and I will check the boxes of discussing necessary logistics for running a household; we’ll make coffee and a breakfast shake for each other every morning and we’ll remind one other to go to the doctor, pick up the dry cleaning and pay the SDG&E bill. He’s funny so I’ll probably still laugh at his jokes and I’m fun, so he’ll probably smile from one of my antics. But, the truth is, we’ll drift.

Phoning it in will mean we won’t carve out time for our daily talks where we hash out our feelings or just take a quiet stroll.

Phoning it in will mean allowing little annoyances to manifest in eye rolls or slight head shakes. We won’t put down what we’re

doing to listen to each other and we won’t flex the muscle of gratitude for everything we, respectively, do. Eventually, phoning it in will be unsustainable and we’ll be out. So I choose in.

Choosing ‘in’ is a unilateral decision. One person can decide to have a better marriage, a more fulfilling job, a healthier lifestyle in the face of challenging circumstances. A difficult relative, friend, spouse, or boss can certainly create challenges but, like Alex Idrache, we can realize our dream.

Determination isn’t delusion where we confuse our abilities with an outcome beyond our control. Determination is connecting deeply with one’s own power and utilizing G-d’s gifts for us (creativity, resourcefulness, communication) to actualize our desires.

I recently heard a dating coach advise: “Never date a 7.” He quickly explained to avoid misunderstanding. A 7 doesn’t refer to the value of a person, but rather your perception of him/her. If you feel that the person you’re dating is a 7, it means you’re not all-in. You’re also not out. You’re in tepid water, it feels so-so, the situation is tolerable.

He proposed that people only date 8’s, 9’s, or 10’s. 7s drain our energy. We know how to walk away from someone or something that’s a 1-6 but a 7 can seduce you to staying far too long and playing a mediocre game.

We are not meant to live a 7 life. Our job is to filter for 8’s, 9’s, and 10’s and be all-in. A

OPEN DOOR 2021 - 2022

Experience Dynamic Academics & Meaningful Community

A THRIVING MIDDLE AND HIGH SCHOOL >> Open Door program provides at least $10K in tuition assistance for all 9th grade and Kindergarten students for 4 years >> Personalized learning and student support services >> Cutting-edge Center for Innovation and Entrepreneurial Thinking >> Extracurricular activities available to all students >> Socially distanced on-campus learning with optional virtual learning

The High School is “set up to maximize

the success of the student! Great curriculum, great books, great faculty, this will be a great year!

– High School Parent

”

To learn and arrange your virtual tour: admissions@sdja.com 858-704-3717 or visit sdja.com

Tevet | Shevat | 5781 | SDJewishJournal.com 19

ISRAELI LIFESTYLE

LIVING ON THE FRONT PAGE

by Andrea Simantov andreasimantov@gmail.com

Resolve

F

or Torah-observant Jews, January 1st is exactly that. The first of January. The Hebrew calendar is a yardstick by which we commemorate both birthdays and yahrzeits, as well as a myriad of holidays/chagim that pepper the year with fasts, feasts, simcha and mourning. And while Dec. 31 has something to do with the conclusion of some sort of fiscal period, the Hebrew calendar has remained the reliable date-keeper for the past 5,781 years.

Nevertheless, most Jews cannot easily recite the names of the Hebrew months, or tell you when their Hebrew birthdays are. Ever since the destruction of the Second Temple, the Gregorian calendar has served members of the Tribe as our go-to reference for national holidays, respective religious observances and Hallmark-mandated festivals.

Apparently, the signs of the Zodiac hold equal status to the twelve-month calendar.

I cannot remember a time when I did not know I was a Libra. I’ve memorized the traits as well as the best career paths to follow. I know which partner-signs ensure a life-time of bliss and who will destroy my spunk.

As an observant Jew, I’m aware that giving any credence to my daily or weekly horoscope is tantamount to idol worship. Thus, whenever my eyes casually scan a negative reading for Libra, I tsk-tsk and feel a tad holier-than-thou. ‘Not my religion. Hah!’ Except.

Except when I accidentally trip over a positive reading. This is when my yetzer-hora, my evil inclination, takes over. After all, what harm is there in believing that good things are going to happen? Is it any different than having a stranger tell you, “Let a

20 SDJewishJournal.com January 2021

smile be your umbrella,” or wearing a bracelet that says, “When you can’t see the sunshine, be the sunshine!” Clearly, I am not as lofty as I’d like to imagine and, on my best day, I’m all too human.

Nearly eleven months into the “Year of Corona,” like everyone else I’m anxious for signs. I read everything I can about the distribution criteria for vaccinations, the projections for how long the experts predict we’ll need to remain masked and, most important, when my gym will open. The novelty, shocks, intrigue and outrage have paled as we seemingly turn inward, weary and deflated from the day-inday-out inability to make concrete plans for travel, celebrations, work.

There was a period of time during the “Year of Corona’’ when I yearned to go to the movies, attend lectures and spend a weekend or two at a spa-hotel. Never one for malls, still I pined for a lazy Autumn stroll amidst the crowds in Tel Aviv’s open-air antiques market. I ached to absorb the spirit of the people I’d encounter: film-buffs, masseuses, Bedoin artisans and grizzled marketeers of all stripes. People. Oh, how I longed to be with people.

Something has changed. I do want to see my family, but as we flip from one calendar year into the next, my desire to mingle with the great washed and unwashed has been replaced with a near irrepressible urge to hike in the wilderness, build a fire and cook supper, sleep under the stars and walk barefoot, for miles on end, along the pristine Meditarrean shoreline. Despite living apart from

one another during this most unusual and complicated year, it does not feel to me as though people have grown kinder. Or more patient. Or wiser.

As we flip the page of this new calendar and change not only the month but the year, I hope the paper doesn’t make too much noise. The cacophony of rancor that has monopolized the public arena and enveloped our lives has become too unwieldy for me to lug into space that I’ve reserved for contentment.

If, like the song says, “There’s got to be a morning after,” it would seem to make sense that we begin preparing the ground for a season of sowing and, consequently, ready the Earth to receive our seeds of kindness, honesty, humility and acceptance. Whether one calls this pivotal twist an ‘Aha Moment’, an ‘awakening’ or New Year’s Resolution, by recommitting to these aforementioned values, we will emerge from a season of darkness into the light, love and opportunities that lay, only for now, just beyond our spiritual reach. A

GET YOUR KID INTO COLLEGE!

HUMANISTIC JEWISH CLERGY

Meaningful Ceremonies for Cultural Jews

Baby-namings, Weddings/Commitment, Memorial/Funeral, and Personalized Bar/ Bat Mitzvah Education Madrikha Beverly Zarnow

Prep4CollegeNow works with high school

and community college students to:

• Generate a list of “BEST FIT” colleges • Oversee the application process • Edit essays • Ensure timeline adherence • Conduct scholarship and grant searches • Advise Student Athletes

858-549-3088

madrikhabeverly@kahalam.org

Andrea (Andi) K. Frimmer, M. Ed. the “Get Your Kid into College” Lady andi@Prep4CollegeNow.com 760.877.7200 www.Prep4CollegeNow.com

Scripps Welcomes Welcomes Welcomes Scripps Welcomes ScrippsScripps Clinic OB/GYN

DINA FAINMAN, MD D I NFA A FA IM NM ANN,, M M DD D I N A I N A D I N A FA I N M A N , MDD and gynecology, birth D I N A FA I N M A N , M Dr. Fainman specializes in general obstetrics Dr. Fainman specializes in general obstetrics control options, pregnancy care and childbirth, minimally care invasive Dr. Fainman specializes iningeneral general obstetrics and gynecology, birth options, pregnancy Dr.Fainman Fainman specializes general obstetrics Dr. specializes incontrol obstetrics gynecologic surgery, and hormone replacement therapy and care and childbirth, minimally invasive gynecologic surgery, and gynecology, birth control options, pregnancy andgynecology, gynecology, birth control options, pregnancy care and birth control options, pregnancy care and hormone replacement therapy and menopause. menopause.

She speaks English, Spanish and Hebrew. and childbirth, minimally invasive gynecologic surgery,

and invasive gynecologic surgery, andchildbirth, childbirth, minimally invasive gynecologic surgery, She speaksminimally English, Spanish and Hebrew. and hormone replacement therapy and menopause.

Scripps Clinic, Encinitas and replacement and menopause. andhormone hormone replacementtherapy therapy and menopause.

Scripps Clinic, Encinitas She speaks English, Spanish and Hebrew.

310 Santa Fe Drive, Suite 204 She English, Spanish and Hebrew.

Shespeaks speaks English, Spanish 310 Santa Fe Drive, Suite 204and Hebrew.

Encinitas, CA 92024

Encinitas, CAEncinitas 92024 Scripps Clinic, Scripps Clinic, Encinitas Scripps Clinic, Encinitas Call 760-633-7245 to schedule an appointment 310 Santa Santa FeDrive, Drive,Suite Suite 204 an appointment Call 760-633-7245 to schedule Fe 204 310 Santa Fe Drive, Suite 204 or310 visit Scripps.org for more information.

Encinitas, CA 92024 or visit Scripps.org for more information.

Encinitas, Encinitas,CA CA92024 92024

Call 760-633-7245 760-633-7245 to schedulean an appointment Call Call 760-633-7245totoschedule schedule anappointment appointment or visit visit Scripps.orgfor for moreinformation information. . or or visitScripps.org Scripps.org formore more information .

Tevet | Shevat | 5781 | SDJewishJournal.com 21

EXAMINED LIFE

OUR EMOTIONAL FOOTPRINT

by Saul Levine, M.D., Professor Emeritus in Psychiatry at UCSD slevine@ucsd.edu

Gratitude for Grandparents

N

o matter what culture or ethnic group, grandparents are usually adored by their grandchildren. They are addressed with special “sweet” names, common in every culture, but they are more than merely unique: They inherently embody affection and convey cherished bonds of deep love. (Some examples are Zaidie/Bubbie, Awa/Tata, Grandmere/Grandpere, Abuelo/ Abuela, Yeye/Nainai, Nonna/Nonno and of course so many more.)

Questions for you: Were you close to your grandparents? Did they have special names? Are you young enough to enjoy your relationship with them now? Are you old enough to have grandchildren of your own? Given the increased life expectancies prevalent in many countries today, the answers are most often affirmative.

My experiences with my own grandparents were extremely sparse: I knew only one, my maternal grandfather and he passed away when I was only two. (I cherish a photo of him holding me close, taken shortly before he passed away.) My paternal grandparents were killed in the Holocaust and my maternal grandmother died before I appeared. I do, however, have a cognitive and visceral perception of them, as well as a spiritual sense of closeness, based on old photographs and the lore related by my parents and other relatives.

I was fortunate to meet many grandparents of cousins and friends when I was a child and remember feeling how lucky they were to have those special relationships with relatives from another generation. I’ve read about these unique relationships in novels and family studies (since I was a clinician) and I worked with grandparents (and grandchildren) in my practice and in my research studies.

There is a humorous parable about grandparents “having all of the pleasure and none 22 SDJewishJournal.com January 2021

of the responsibilities” of raising children, the point being that they can play with their grandchildren, provide excess sweets and gifts, impart pearls of wisdom, contradict or criticize their parents (your children!), but they don’t have to assume the burdens of disciplining, emotional upheavals, pains or expenses, borne by the “real” parents.

That is an exaggeration, of course, as many grandparents feel close to and share the joys and sorrows of their grandchildren. Moreover, millions of grandparents throughout the world participate in child-rearing and are actively engaged in the work and pleasure of raising and protecting their grandchildren.

Some grandparents have the time, means, energy and the desire to create close bonds with their grandchildren and voluntarily help out in raising them. Much more often, however, these kinds of arrangements are less planned and smooth and borne of necessity. That is, circumstances arise and dictate that grandparents are needed to fulfill parenting roles, due to the temporary absence of the parents for any number of reasons.

Often there are even more salient and poignant needs for grandparents’ involvement in childrearing. These occur under pressured or dire circumstances, as when one or both parents leaves due to marital break-up, or one spouse’s withdrawal, or severe illness (physical or mental) or the death of one or both parents. These mixed burdens and blessings for grandparents are increasingly necessitated by demanding fiscal realities, particularly in impoverished and underdeveloped countries.

In the recent movie, “Hillbilly Elegy” (Netflix), based on the best-selling book by J.D. Vance, the actress Glenn Close evocatively plays an overburdened grandmother who was always deeply and inextricably involved in the complexities and challenges,

sometimes the chaos, faced by her children and grandchildren. She was by no means perfect, but in spite of her faults and frailties she was a dominant and protective force of nature which supplied her grandchildren with stability and the presence of intense love.

It was clear that without her powerful influence, the family would have suffered immeasurably and likely have fallen apart. She captured the profound emotions that many grandparents experience in their close involvement with their grandchildren: The palpable joys and meaningfulness, the pride and passions, worries and pains and the caring and love which she felt so powerfully and which she imbued in the lives of her family.

In my studies years ago, I interviewed retired individuals (mostly octogenarians) about the central criteria for feeling personally fulfilled and worthwhile during their long lives. I was especially interested in, while looking back, their senses of having achieved “The Four B’s: Being, Belonging, Believing and Benevolence.”

In each of these areas, it was remarkable to me how often and spontaneously they brought up their relationships with their grandchildren. It was particularly meaningful and moving to the grandparents when they felt loved and needed by their grandchildren and vice versa. This was of singular importance to them in assessing the worth of their lives.

Grandparents who have sufficient health, motivation and means to help care for and raise their grandchildren represent to me the epitome of a “win-win” situation, as both generations can benefit immensely from each other. It goes without saying that this arrangement can be as much or more a benefit to the generation in between.

So much so, that I wonder if this particular arrangement (grandparents helping with the

raising of grandchildren) could not be more formally encouraged, planned for and officially supported by municipal, state and federal governments. Grandparents in families with insufficient means could be de facto “hired” to give the mothers or fathers some respite.

It could be voluntary and preschool and daycare would still be important, but these services could be modified and tailored to the needs of the children and their grandparents.

During the current pandemic, grandparents are like an “endangered species,” in that they are more susceptible to the coronavi-

rus, and thus often separated for their own protection from their grandchildren by the dictates of public health authorities. This situation may be temporary but it is particularly poignant and one in which I find myself.

This particular octogenarian hasn’t seen two of his three sons and their wives and five of his seven grandchildren, in over a year. My grandchildren, ranging in age from eight to 20 years, individually and as a group enhance and ennoble my very existence. And as I increasingly remove myself from the day-to-day frenzy of productivi-

ty, competition, obligations and deadlines which besiege so many stressed parents, I can in retirement (end of pandemic allowing!) give more of myself to the lives of my grandchildren and without a doubt, to myself.

In a way, our grandchildren “complete” the circle of our lives. No, I am not being fatalistic or morbid: To the contrary, I am energized and hopeful, aware that these are our legacy gifts to humanity and to our planet which reside in the lives of these wonderful young people. If so, the world will be in good hands. A

ROTISSERIE AFFAIR CATERING WE CATER ANY EVENT!

Celebrating 30 years

• Bar/Bat Mitzvah Parties • Weddings • Graduation Parties • Corporate Events • 30-5,000 People • Kosher Platters • Barucha Luncheons

ALWAYS COOKED FRESH ON-SITE!

• Rotisserie Free Range Chicken • Kosher Slow-Cooked Brisket • Whole Rotisserie Lamb • Grilled Salmon & Mahi Mahi • Choice cut Roast Beef • Rotisserie Marinated Turkey • Shabbat Luncheons • Vegan and vegetarian options available

858-578-8891

7313 Carroll Road • 92121 www.rotisserieaffair.com

Todd S. Frank, CLU

4660 La Jolla Village Drive Suite 300 San Diego, CA 92122 (858) 202-2366 Direct (858) 922-1415 Cell tfrank@financialguide.com

Hot Prime Rib

Wednesdays & Saturdays

Life Insurance. Disability Income Insurance. Long Term Care Insurance.

Insurance Representative of Massachusetts Mutual Life Insurance Company (MassMutual), Springfield, MA 01111-0001, and its affiliated US insurance Tevet | Shevat 5781 | SDJewishJournal.com companies. Registered Representative of and| securities offered through MML Investors Services, LLC, Member SIPC and MassMutual subsidiary.10960 Wilshire Blvd Suite 2100 Los Angeles, CA 90024 (310) 689-3300. CA Insurance License

23

RELIGION

POST-POLITICAL

by Rabbi Jacob Rupp myrabbiben@gmail.com

The Swedish Approach to Marriage

S

ometimes marriage feels about as easy as putting together IKEA furniture.

When my wife, Julie, and I would get into disagreements, or had our long arcs of disconnection, honestly that’s what our marriage felt like–like we were living the trauma of putting together IKEA furniture every day. The boxes are so heavy. You don’t understand the instructions (if you still have them). You think you’re missing a piece or the right tool. And at the end of the day the thing comes out flimsy and broken, so what’s the point?

And then you’ve spent all day doing it and you wish you had just had more faith in yourself and hired someone to come do it. So on top of your shoddy, flimsy product, your hours invested and frustration at putting it together, you wish you had done something differently.

Except when it’s your marriage, the stakes are so much higher.

Maybe I’m not a Swedish carpenter–in terms of making IKEA stuff, or with marriage.

What I mean is that sometimes in marriage it feels like no matter what you do, or the work you put in, you can’t change your relationship. You feel stuck. And that brings up all these feelings of inadequacy, frustration, anger, perhaps at yourself or your spouse.

It’s literally like the IKEA stuff; you think to yourself this stupid marriage is missing a part!

You don’t own that you might have lost the part, or maybe you screwed the wrong screw in five pages back. You don’t even see

24 SDJewishJournal.com January 2021

that. You don’t want to own that it was your mistake.

And the “directions”–all the marriage experts or books are talking about the formula for marriage. Or like one targeted ad I got recently that “you can change your marriage all by yourself!” How’s that supposed to work exactly?

My favorite are the masculine marriage savior programs, with the tattooed good looking middle-aged men talking about taking your power back with his model wife in their Lamborghini. “Cause, you know, owning a lambo and treating your spouse like a car model is the perfect way to make her fall in love with you again. Of course, it looks great in the showroom. Who wouldn’t want that?” But what you get when you get home is that you still have your stress in your head, your spouse is distracted and disconnected and the house is a mess. Plus, there are old cookie crumbs and spilled slurpee all over your family SUV. So suffice to say that working on marriage, or thinking about working on your marriage usually feels like you’re buried under a mountain of complicated IKEA furniture: 1. There’s just so much to do to make it good and, 2. You’re pretty powerless when it comes to changing the other person and 3. (this is a naughty thought) You don’t want to change for the other person because they treated you so badly in the past that they don’t deserve your being nice.

Here’s the secret: If you feel like you’re under a mountain, you are. If you feel helpless, I get that too. But you’re not. Because you don’t need someone (your spouse) to come

in and dig you out. You don’t have to change anything in your life. Life isn’t an IKEA piece where you screwed something up, you could lose a piece, or you messed up by not hiring an expert to do it for you.

A good marriage isn’t the outcome of a product or formula. It’s the result of healing.

Sure, pick up your socks. (Or if you’re like me, floss picks–hey I like oral hygiene, shoot me). Smile when you wake up. Do all those basic stupid things we don’t do until we read a marriage book.

But the real work is all on you and your healing. And it’s not about manipulating them, or becoming something else. It’s asking why, right now, you buried yourself under a mountain. What was it in your life where you had to develop the defense mechanisms? What are you avoiding? Where have you been not clear?

It’s moving past judgment and labeling and getting curious.

Read that clearly: Getting stuck isn’t something that happened to you, you chose to get stuck. Somehow getting stuck, getting in this marriage served you subconsciously. Get curious about you. Your marriage looks the way it does because of what you’ve done and how you’ve shown up. You aren’t bad and it isn’t too late unless that’s what you want to tell yourself.

So that’s the real question. How does your current circumstance serve you? The answer is not ‘it doesn’t.’ If it didn’t, it wouldn’t be happening. Once you see why and how you create right now, you develop the freedom to create something different. Always. A

Tevet | Shevat | 5781 | SDJewishJournal.com 25

Lawrence Family Jewish Community Center | JACOBS FAMILY CAMPUS Jewish Community Center 4126 Executive Drive, La Jolla JACOBS FAMILY CAMPUS

Lawrence Family

SUMMER LOVE IT’LL BE HERE BEFORE YOU KNOW IT!

HAVE A

FUN & SAFE

SUMMER

SPACE IS LIM

HAPPY

SAFE

EXCITED

FUN

RELAXED PEACEFUL

ADVENTURE

FRIENDS

HAVE SAFE

MEMORIES

A

ITED! Re to guaragnister NOW tee your spot

FUN GET & SAFE LAST and

YEAR’S PRICES! Use Code :

SUMME

CAMPDE AL

Of fer exp ires March 1, 2021

For Camp Jaycee 2021, we are planning to take all the COVID-19 safety precautions we implemented last summer and are keeping abreast of developments. We will alter the policies and programs if/when it is safe to do so.

HAPPY

EXCITED LOVING RELAXED PEACEFUL

NURTURING and SAFE

Nierman Preschool

GLICKMAN•GALINSON EARLY CHILDHOOD COMPLEX

FOSTERING LOVE OF LEARNING THROUGH A JEWISH LENS PROGRAMS FOR AGES 9 MONTHS–5 YEARS

ENROLL NOW!

For the 2021/2022 School Year

lfjcc.org/preschool 858.457.0398

Find preschool COVID-19 Modification information at lfjcc.org/preschool Gary & Jerri-Ann Jacobs Youth Endowment Fund Harry & Jeanette Weinberg Endowment Fund 26 SDJewishJournal.com January 2021

S

FEATURE

SDJA’s Hallmark Sustainability Initiative

BY NATHALIE FEINGOLD

S

an Diego Jewish Academy is on track to being the first independent school to achieve electricity self-sustainability in the United States. Solar panels, marking the first stage of a three-part plan for their sustainability initiative, are expected to be commissioned in late February. The second stage involves installing a battery system and the final stage culminates around a thermal electricity generator. The entire project is estimated to take 1-2 years, and upon completion, the campus will be completely electricity independent.

“It’s going to become one of the hallmarks of what SDJA is and of our education,” Zvi Weiss, head of school at SDJA, said.

He emphasized that this project will be as much a hands-on learning opportunity for SDJA students as it is a sustainable and economically-wise decision.

“It’s a win, win, win, win situation here...

This is an amazing opportunity for us to impact our educational program,” Zvi explained, “We now have a living example of many different aspects of science on our campus. One of the educational goals at the heart of SDJA is making learning purposeful and relevant and having this is going to enable us to do so much more on that front with our students, right here at home on our campus.”

SDJA’s Chief Sustainability Officer Michael Zimerman also believes that the sus-

tainability initiative will be a crucial part of SDJA students’ education.

“It brings everything together into one place, from science to Jewish values. It sets an example for our kids as part of their educational journey, so it’s an amazing opportunity,” Michael said. This is something personal to him as one of his kids is enrolled at SDJA. He and Zvi both noticed a tangible excitement surrounding this project from the student body. Zvi shared a story about a preschool class in the Early Childhood Center at SDJA. He said that the three-year-old children were excited to see all of the construction equipment, so he took that as a learning opportunity to ask them if they knew the purpose of the equipment.

“They said, ‘yeah, it’s for the solar panels.’

So I asked, ‘do you know what solar panels are?’ And they said, ‘yeah, they take the sun and turn it into electricity.’” Zvi described, “So at a three-year-old level, they were able to start to understand it and it created excitement and a lesson that they probably never would have learned earlier. That same excitement can be seen throughout the campus.”

Zvi is particularly proud of how perfectly this project aligns with the Academy’s Jewish values.

“What I’m most proud about is the fact that it is a way of living our Jewish values and showing our students and our community that we live what we teach,” Zvi said.

There are also accompanying benefits to self-sustainable electricity, including environmental, health and economic advantages.

“By going solar, instead of us sucking potentially dirty electricity from the grid, we’re producing our own clean electricity,” Michael said, “But beyond that, I’ve been in the sustainability business since 2009 and the cost of solar has plummeted in the last ten years. There’s a powerful dollars-and-cents argument that can be made today.”

Michael believes that many other educational institutions will follow in SDJA’s footsteps.

“It’s something that, right now, is a forward-thinking nice-to-have, but you fast-forward ten years, and these are not going to be optional elements to educational programs anymore. It’s crucial that this is part of the collective consciousness.”

SDJA prides itself on being an innovative and cutting-edge learning institution.

“One of the big things that drew me to SDJA is the focus on innovation. Whatever world we may be living in, we can be sure that the students are well-positioned to emerge into it as leaders.” Michael explained, “They have leaders in front of them, showing them the way and shepherding them into becoming the next generation of leaders.

Hopefully, we’ll see some of them in my job, for example.” A Tevet | Shevat | 5781 | SDJewishJournal.com 27

28 SDJewishJournal.com | January 2021

FEATURE

Devoted to Dreams Dr. Steven D. Lavine.

Jörn Jacob Rohwer.

BY NATHALIE FEINGOLD

I

n January of 1994, disaster struck when a 6.7 magnitude earthquake hit Los Angeles, nearly wiping out the California Institute of the Arts (CalArts) campus in its destructive wake. Dr. Steven Lavine, the president at the time, recalls standing amidst the remains of his beloved institution. He painted a dystopian picture describing flames blazing out of the earth due to broken gas lines underground, broken freeways all over Los Angeles and millions of dollars of structural damage.

“We suddenly had a $40 million problem.

We only had $15 million in endowments. It looked like it was impossible to get beyond where we were,” Steven continued. “There’s no book that tells you how to do that. It’s just: ‘You’re president, you’ve got to lead the way to do it.’”

He immediately improvised and, in the two weeks following the earthquake, he moved the entire campus to remote locations in LA. Then in the eight months following, they were able to rebuild and open on time the following Fall with an improved facility.

“I stuck with it and it became a turning point for the school. Up until then, a lot of the faculty thought CalArts is just too idealistic to survive. But, once we survived the earthquake, people thought ‘well, if we can get through this, we can get through anything,” Steven said.

“It was a key moment in my life. My degree of confidence in myself radically changed after that,” Steven explained.

That resilience and commitment to his students and staff is a large part of what defines Dr. Steven Lavine–and makes up the premise of Jörn Jacob Rohwer’s new biographical book, “Failure is What it’s All About: A Life

Devoted to Leadership in the Arts.” always found he was quite modest as a person in contrast to what he did.

Running a prolific art school–saving it from disaster, rebuilding it, shaping it into an internationally renowned institution, very devoted to his students, to all of their hopes and dreams, needs and aspirations,” Jörn continued. “And as I found, willing to do almost anything for them. Devoting all his time and a great part of his life to them, without making a big fuss of it. And that struck me as quite exceptional.”

Jörn grew more and more curious about the generous and giving person behind this long list of achievements, the artist behind the artist.

“When you run an art school, you notice, witness and accompany the making of artists and their careers. So it’s them who win the applause in the end and it’s the person in the shadow, so to speak, who often goes by unnoticed.”

As the biography title indicates, failure is a big theme in Steven’s personal philosophy.

To elaborate on this, Steven referenced the German word, “Bildung.”

“That goes back fairly directly to this German idea–popular among German Jews in the late 19th, early 20th century–that life was bildung, which just means building.

What you do as a person is you build yourself and your life is refining that and building it further,” Steven explained.

This was shown in a literal sense in his commitment to rebuilding CalArts when faced with near-certain destruction, but also through his personal interactions and the distinctly humanistic way he treats his students and staff.

I

Jörn believes that a person’s essence can be found in the details, in the nuances of their facial expressions and their gestures.

Through their conversations, Jörn learned that Steven is a man of a gentle demeanor and strong values.

Steven’s leadership style is shaped by the values instilled in him by his past, particularly his father, who was a country doctor in Wisconsin. His father lived by a sense of ethical Judaism and if a patient of his couldn’t afford to pay their bills, he didn’t ask them to pay it.

“One of the things my father carried with him is that we’re all pretty much the same.

He wanted all of my friends to be doctors.

He said, ‘if you can fix a car, you can be a doctor.’” Steven explained, “So, I was raised with this idea of a common human nature that we all share.”

Tevet | Shevat | 5781 | SDJewishJournal.com 29

As a young adult, he sought a career that would, like his father, ease human suffering in some way. He explained that, in his eyes, there are three ways to do this: medicine, the arts, or religion. Steven chose the path of the arts.

His mother was equally influential in shaping him into the leader he is today. He explained that his mother was a very gifted pianist, but she lacked the financial backing or the confidence for a concert career. This caused her a great deal of unhappiness.

“My passion as an educator was that the students at CalArts be able to live up to their dreams of being an artist. I think, indirectly, I was trying to make it up to my mother.

It seemed like nothing was more important than that,” Steven explained.

He combined his dedication to his mother with the unique, ethical and forgiving standard passed on to him by his father.

Steven’s compassion in leadership is most notably shown through the first program he started at CalArts, known as the Community Arts Partnership (CAP). CAP was a collaboration between CalArts and several neighborhood organizations in economically disadvantaged areas of Los Angeles. Steven said

that CAP ended up becoming CalArts’ single biggest program.

“If you are convinced that all children and youth have the potential to see the detail–to acknowledge it and cherish it–and that they have talent, it’s just about seeing it, seizing it and bringing it out of them,” Jörn said of Steven’s intentions when starting CAP. When Steven first began his presidency at CalArts, he described it as primarily a white, middle-class institution. He dreamed of sharing opportunities with young artists and turning CalArts into an institution more representative of America. After 29 years at the helm of the institution, Steven transformed CalArts into one of the most economically, ethnically and gender-diverse art schools in the country. This left behind a legacy of equity and authenticity. örn said that “Failure is What It’s All About” will be his final biographical book, with Steven being his final subject.

Jörn has spent three decades conducting biographical conversations with countless extraordinary people.

In a way, he is similar to Steven. He has spent a great deal of his life in the shadows– or more literally, behind a tape recorder–de-

J

voting his career to other people. Turning himself into a human vessel for others to share their stories.

Jörn has a very personal and intensive interviewing process. He refuses to call his exchanges with his subjects, “interviews.” It was clear that, to him, they are “conversations.”

“The difference is that, if you’re doing an interview, it’s fact-oriented, short questions, short answers, prepared for an audience to inform them,” he explained. “Whereas, if you’re doing biographical conversations, it is conducted and then later on written in a way that enables the reader to read the subtext, to read between the lines.”

Steven spent nearly 30 years giving of himself to help aspiring artists and creatives achieve their dreams. However, he emphasized that it’s not just of himself that he gives; his legacy is also defined by his history and the histories of his ancestors.

“This is a story about the positive values of my parents–which are inherited from their past–passed on to my generation and then me passing it on through my work at CalArts to another generation,” Steven concluded. A

CALL TODAY! 619-260-0220

BEEMERANDBENZ.COM 30 SDJewishJournal.com | January 2021

5354 Banks St. Ste A & B San Diego, CA., 92110

FEATURE

Unlocking the Jewish Interfaith Home with JCo and 18Doors

BY NATHALIE FEINGOLD

T

en years ago, Sherwin Chasen and his wife discovered that they were the only couple out of the 12 in his Chavurah (Jewish social group) that did not have an interfaith relationship in their family. This opened Sherwin’s eyes to the prevalence of interfaith relationships in the Jewish community, a phenomenon that stayed in the forefront of his mind over the decade.

“I’ve been thinking about this sort of thing for a number of years. I was thinking there may be some unmet needs, ranging from a full spectrum of young people who are Jewish but dating non-Jewish partners, to young married couples without kids and then all of a sudden with kids and parents and grandparents dealing with their children and grandchildren,” Sherwin explained.

Sherwin is one of the founding members of the Jewish Collaborative of San Diego, a progressive Jewish community that teaches acceptance and non-judgment, so the majority of their interfaith congregation members did not feel like they were personally struggling.

“For Sherwin it was like, ‘how great is it that the people who are already a part of JCo feel good, I want people that aren’t a part of this congregation to feel like they have a place, too,” said Rabbi Gabi Arad of JCo. So, Sherwin introduced the idea of collaborating with 18Doors, an East coast organization that specializes in interfaith families.

“We welcome anyone in an interfaith relationship. We want to help literally open the doors to Judaism for them and make them feel comfortable. We’re totally about not judging people; we want to accept them

where they are and help them find a way that works best for them to access Judaism,” said Rabbi Robyn Frisch of 18Doors.

With that intention, Rabbi Robyn created a program to connect other interfaith families and to address some of the challenges that they may or may not be facing.

“We’re very careful in the language that we use to talk about both the challenges and the blessings, that it’s not just the challenges, there are many wonderful things as well,” Rabbi Robyn explained, “But certainly one of the challenges people have faced is finding clergy who accept them or finding welcoming Jewish communities.

The possible barriers facing interfaith families is a challenge that Rabbi Gabi also described.

“In a lot of synagogues there’s this notion of like, ‘everyone’s welcome, we accept everyone.’ But then when it comes to family rituals, there’s a wall that’s put up,” Gabi said, citing B’nai mitzvahs and weddings as examples.

Gabi said that she makes a point not to ask if the family is interfaith when she plans for bar and bat mitzvahs at JCo. “If a family chooses to walk the Jewish path, great, you’re here, let’s do it, let’s walk the Jewish path,” Gabi continued, “A lot of people feel insecure about their Jewish identity and they feel like they have to be a certain way to be a good Jew, so at JCo what I try to instill in everyone is that there’s no wrong way to be Jewish. Come in, explore, we’re all building our Jewish identities as we go.”

The upcoming webinar plans to facilitate

a discussion between interfaith families and couples, particularly focusing on the idea of what makes a home Jewish. However, since each interfaith family is distinct, this requires personalized solutions.

“Each of us has a unique Jewish identity, and each of us have different components of our Jewish identity,” Gabi explained, “For a family, it’s about each of them figuring out what’s important to them and coming up with traditions as a family… There has to be meaning behind it and there’s no wrong or Tevet | Shevat | 5781 | SDJewishJournal.com 31

right way.”

Rabbi Robyn agrees, “we can’t give you a sheet with 10 things saying, ‘these are the best practices for being an interfaith family’ because for every couple it’s going to be different. What we want to do with this program is help navigate that discussion for people.”

Rabbi Gabi emphasized the importance of finding the right balance for your family and the program is designed to help with that. She also hopes that participants use it as an access point for further discussions.

“It’s just finding the balance; it’s going to be a unique journey for each family,” Gabi continued, “The webinar is an access point, not only to the discussions, but an access point for our community too. Start the journey and you’re going to figure out as a family how you want to continue and what path you want to create.”

“It’s really a chance for them all to explore who they are, what they’re bringing to a home, how to make that home feel sacred,” Robyn explained, “The idea of the program is to facilitate a discussion of what creates a holy space in a home for each of the partners and to share that with each other.”

“Let’s talk about what a Jewish home is, what a Jewish home looks like, let’s talk about what it means to be part of an interfaith fam32 SDJewishJournal.com | January 2021

ily. Let’s start having those conversations so that those barriers can be down simply by accepting where we are and moving from there,” Gabi said.

Gabi describes home as being an atmosphere, creating certain traditions and marking those important family moments. She believes that Judaism provides a way to bring meaning, compassion, love and spirituality into your home.

“It’s a matter of knowing that they have the power to create the space they want for their family and that each home is going to look different.” Gabi explained, “It’s about finding their home and creating the home that they want and to have some knowledge about how to do that, about what steps to take.”

Rabbi Robyn shared a success story about a young, interfaith couple whom the program helped. She said that, at first, she didn’t think they would make it. It was clear they loved each other deeply, but they had a very hard time overcoming their differences. Their biggest dispute centered around Christmas trees and what they represent in an interfaith home.

Robyn facilitated many discussions for them and, eventually, they were able to come to a compromise. Robyn shared her surprise upon hearing that the Jewish partner found

herself unexpectedly saying the Shehecheyanu when she hung the first Christmas tree ornament.

“I realized what it meant to this couple; this is her way of embracing and appreciating something for him. This is something she’s doing that’s making her commitment to her relationship stronger,” Robyn continued, “She is still just as fully a Jewish person, but she made this compromise for someone she loved.”

Robyn said that the program brought this woman to a place where she can respect her partner and still not lose herself.

Both Rabbi Gabi and Rabbi Robyn agree that the key to a healthy interfaith partnership is open communication, this is why it is vital for the program to be discussion-based.

“It’s very much talking to your partner, being open. Very key is understanding each others’ values because I think that’s what underlies everything,” Robyn explained, “Understanding where they’re coming from, why they want to do things, why it’s important to them, what it symbolizes to them, respecting them, and again, even when you disagree, just being able to listen and to hear.”

For more information on the event on Jan. 18 at 7 p.m., email Sherwin Chasen at sachasen@gmail.com. A

Tevet | Shevat | 5781 | SDJewishJournal.com 33

34 SDJewishJournal.com | January 2021

Seven Species Barley Porridge with Date Caramel

BY MICAH SIVA | nutritionxkitchen.com

Serves: 2 Falling in January, Tu BiShvat is a reminder to pause and think about the health of our planet. It is also the ultimate underrated foodie celebration.

Traditionally, we eat the “Seven Species” of Israel, including: dates, figs, olives, grapes, barley, wheat and pomegranates. This Barley Porridge with Date Caramel celebrates these foods, but can be topped with your favorite, seasonal fruits no matter the season. Hearty barley takes some time to cook, so feel free to double, or triple the recipe and eat it throughout the week!

INGREDIENTS: Porridge: 1 ½ cups water

½ cup pearl barley, rinsed 1 cinnamon stick Pinch sea salt 1 tsp. vanilla extract Date Caramel: ½ cup medjool dates, pitted ½ cup water 1 tbsp. melted coconut oil 1 ½ tbsp. almond butter 1 tsp. vanilla extract ¼ tsp. sea salt

PREPARATION: Combine water, milk, barley, cinnamon and sea salt in a pot. Bring to a boil, reduce the heat slightly and let cook uncovered for 25-30 minutes, or until the barley has softened and the liquid is absorbed.

Remove from heat. Remove the cinnamon stick and stir in vanilla.

While the barley is cooking, combine the dates, water, coconut oil, almond butter, vanilla and sea salt in a blender or food processor until smooth. Set aside.

TOPPINGS: Fresh or dried figs

Serve with figs, almonds and pomegranate, or other seasonal fruits.

Chopped almonds

Enjoy! A

Pomegranate seeds

1 cup milk or plant-based alternative Tevet | Shevat | 5781 | SDJewishJournal.com 35

| FEATURE |

Online Offerings

BY JACQUELINE BULL Photo by Beto Soto

Extended through Mar. 7: “Necessary Sacrifices” This play is based on the documented meetings between Abraham Lincoln and Frederic Douglas during the Civil War. After buying a ticket, you can watch the stream anytime during the show’s run.

Photo by Aaron Rumley

Jan. 1-Jan. 21: An Iliad Adapted from Homer’s classic poem about the Trojan War, this one-man show explores the human costs of war through the ages.

Hannah Pritchett and Mario Jaimes in “Towards Belonging.”

La Jolla Playhouse

All content is available on lajollaplayhouse.org Jan. 21: A Thousand Ways 24 hours before the scheduled performance time, you will be sent a phone number to call. This is just the first part of three of a truly ambitious and innovative theater experience.

January 2021, specific date TBA: Towards Belonging This project is a dance film with original spoken-word poetry and was filmed at and celebrates the Arts Park in Chollas Creek.

Ongoing: The Totally Fake Latino News from Culture Clash Richard Montoya, Ricardo Salinas and Herbert Siguenza offer 10-minute doses of levity, poetics and payasadas (clowning).

San Diego Symphony

All content is available on sandiegosymphony.org.

Tuesdays: Lunch & Listen Q&As with CEO Martha Gilmer and San Diego Symphony musicians.

Wednesday Evenings: LISTEN // HEAR Music Director Rafael Payare and colleagues discuss all things symphony on YouTube and Facebook live streams and are later archived.

Ongoing: Symphony Stream Listen to past audio broadcasts, podcasts discussing classical works and videos with interviews and performances.

North Coast Repertory Theatre

All content is available on northcoastrep.org.

36 SDJewishJournal.com | January 2021

Richard Baird in “An Illiad.”

San Diego Repertory Theatre All content is available on sdrep.org.

Feb. 7 at 5 p.m. Hershey Felder in Before Fiddler Before “Fiddler on the Roof,” there was Sholem Aleichem and Klezmer. Hershey Felder plays as storyteller and performer to inhabit the old world.

Lamb’s Players

All content is available on facebook.com/LambsPlayers Ongoing: Lamb’s Cabaret Affiliated artists with the Players upload covers of popular songs and songs from past productions.

Photo by Gary Payne.

Birch Aquarium

All content is on aquarium.ucsd.edu and youtube.com/user/ BirchAquarium Tuesdays at 10 a.m.: Kelp Cam Live Visit the serene live footage of the Kelp Cam and learn about the different species from Scripps scientists.

Ongoing Through Jan. 11: Artist-in-Residence Siena McKim Siena McKim is an ecological artist, scientist and SCUBA diver. She studies small marine animals in her research and artwork.

Kate Hatmaker, Art of Elan Executive and Artistic Director, performing on violin.

San Diego Museum of Art

All content is available on sdmart.org Ongoing: The San Diego Museum of Art Artists Guild’s 2020 Online International Winter Exhibition This exhibition features more than a hundred works from artists all over the globe. A portion of the sales supports the museum.

Jan. 15 at 10 a.m.: Italian Renaissance Naturalism: What it Was and Wasn’t This guest lecture shares the history of naturalism and how the Renaissance painters saw the world differently than we do now.

Jan. 22 at 7 p.m.: Virtual SDMA + Art of Elan: Identities This performance brings together artist Ana de Alvear’s work and Icelandic composer Anna Thorvaldsdottir.

Fridays at 10 a.m.: Masterpiece Minute Podcast This is a 60-second podcast series that looks at the stories and historical contexts of important works in the SDMA collection.

Ongoing: Virtual SDMA Explore the galleries in 360, access insider stories and listen or read about works in the collection via the SDMA App on the App Store or Google Play.

Ongoing: SDMA at Play The museum is offering a variety of at-home art activities with detailed instructions (and in some cases accompanying video explanations) such as making your own shadow puppets and ekphrastic poetry.

The Reuben Fleet Science Center

All content is on rhfleet.org. Events marked with a (*) require registration.

Ongoing: Virtual Classes The Fleet is offering live lessons, science clubs and camps for toddlers, kids and teens.

Jan. 6, 5:30 p.m.: Exploring Ethics* This talk explores the ethics of treating bacterial infections with viruses where the drug is ‘alive.’

Jan. 6, 7 p.m.: The Sky Tonight* Explore one of the most recognizable constellations: Orion.

Jan. 11, 6:30 p.m. Suds & Science* Stacey Brydges, UC San Diego Professor, discusses bringing diversity and inclusion to chemistry.

San Diego Natural History Museum All content is on sdnhm.org.

Ongoing: At-Home Activities Check out diy crafts, nature bingo, scavenger hunts, storytimes and printable coloring pages for family-friendly activities.

2021 J-411

BUSINESS DIRECTORY

1st Time Advertisers 30% OFF

Don’t Miss Out!

publishing1st quarter 2021.

For More Information: Marke@sdjewishjournal.com

858-638-9818

“One Rock” by Siena McKim.

SAN DIEGO

Jewish Journal Tevet | Shevat | 5781 | SDJewishJournal.com 37

AM ISRAEL MORTUARY We Are San Diego’s ONLY All-Jewish Mortuary Serving the community for over 38 years.

✡

Proudly Serving Jewish Families For Over 38 Years.

✡

Family Owned and Operated for Three Generations.

✡

Serving all Jewish Families, Orthodox, Conservative, Reform.

✡

Affiliated or Unaffiliated with a Synagogue.

✡

We can assist with At-need or Pre-need funeral planning. Purchasing cemetery plots or burial arrangements anywhere.

✡

Lt/Col. Allen Miliefsky. USAF Ret. Past State Cmdr. (619) 737-6910

We are here to help, call or email with any questions.

(619) 583-8850

6316 El Cajon Blvd., San Diego For a list of currents services and additional info:

www.amisraelmortuary.com Members of the JFDA- Jewish funeral directors of America, KAVOD - (Independent/Family owned Jewish funeral directors) Consumer Affairs Funeral and Cemetery division CA, Lic. #FD-1320

Mikhail Royter - San Diego Natalie Colker - Dana Point Ina Brown - La Jolla Louis Gross - Oceanside Gladys Rosen - La Jolla Estelle Eisenberg - Carlsbad Noah Hytken - San Diego Daniel Islas - San Diego Robert Hersh - Oceanside Gwendolyn Kestin - Charlotte, NC Victor Seliger - San Diego

Fred Wasserman - San Diego Petr Elman - La Mesa Marina Narizhnava - San Diego Thelma Montag - Encinitas Jean Galan - San Diego Iris Gimble - San Diego Sylvia Polger - San Diego Nathan Zechter - San Diego Janice Jacobs - San Diego Dr. Andrew Israel - San Diego David Taklender - San Diego

May their memory be a blessing.

AM ISRAEL MORTUARY

On behalf of AM Israel Mortuary, We extend our condolences to the families of all those who have recently passed. The families of those listed above would like to inform the community of their passing.

Members of the JFDA- Jewish funeral directors of America, KAVOD - (Independent/Family owned Jewish funeral directors) Consumer Affairs Funeral and Cemetery division

We Are San Diego’s ONLY All-Jewish Mortuary Serving the community for over 40 years.

(619) 583-8850

6316 El Cajon Blvd., San Diego For a list of currents services and additional info:

www.amisraelmortuary.com CA, Lic. #FD-1320

38 SDJewishJournal.com | January 2021

| OP-ED |

Tikkun Olam — On Repairing the World Part 10: Muddling Through the Pandemic with Jewish Tradition

BY BETH SIRULL

A

t various moments over the past ten months, as I have muddled through the COVID-19 pandemic, I have thought about several famous stories and quotes from Jewish tradition. Three in particular have brought a measure of comfort, or at least a fresh perspective, a new, more helpful frame through which to view this unprecedented situation.

First, each year I am struck anew by the diametrically opposed emotions that Moses holds as he delivers the Israelites to the Promised Land–joy at having successfully led the Jewish people to their destination and utter disappointment at G-d’s announcement that he would not be allowed to enter the land.

Moses could have given in to the disappointment, but instead he acknowledges his anger and moves forward effectively to complete his task and prepare for a leadership transition. He could also have ignored his anger and attempted to focus exclusively on his accomplishments, but resentment would likely have caught up with him.

The isolation and mental strain of the pandemic has me–and I know I am not alone– holding similarly conflicting emotions. On the one hand, I am enormously grateful for all that I have during this time, a nice place to live, a job, a family, my health. At the same time, I am exhausted and frustrated at being stuck at home, isolated, unable to hug family and friends. In my worst moments, I might even feel a twinge of self-pity.

And yet, seemingly like Moses, the energy

to move through this time and help others to do the same emerges from this duality.

I write about tikkun olam, repairing the world. To work effectively to improve our communities, sometimes we must stop and repair ourselvezs. To focus on the gratitude but completely ignore the despair would be a lie that would ultimately catch up with me.

But to wallow in self-pity and overlook all that is good would leave me paralyzed. To hold both simultaneously is empowering– and empowered is one thing that few of us are feeling amid the pandemic.

Second, the Torah reminds us “Only be careful and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.” (Deuteronomy 4:9). As tough as this time is, it is also a privilege to witness history.

It is easy to drown myself in the latest from Netflix or Amazon Prime. And yes, sometimes I indulge. But it is imperative that we pay attention to this moment in history. And that we recount it–and we learn from it–to the next generation. When you next get the urge to channel surf, take out a journal and record your feelings and experiences instead. Your children and grandchildren will be glad you did.

Finally, the famous saying by Rabbi Tarfon in Pirke Avot (Ethics of Our Fathers) resonates with me almost daily: Yours is not to complete the task (of perfecting the world),

but neither are you free to desist from it. None of us will solve the health, economic and social crises our community faces on our own.

But it goes without saying that we must each do our part.

For those of you who work in the health professions or are essential workers, doing “your part” dominates your everyday life.

But there is much that all of us can do. On a basic level, doing our part means wearing a mask and staying physically distant from others. If you can, donate blood. Support a local small business to help keep it open and its workers employed. Donate to charities that are helping those in need. Smile and offer encouragement, albeit virtually, to friends and family that are struggling. Unbeknownst to you, a seemingly minor gesture may make a huge impact on a loved one having a bad day. Now is the time to remember that every little bit helps.

With the introduction of a vaccine, we hope that “the light is at the end of the tunnel” for the pandemic and its attendant restrictions. But we know that it will still be awhile before we return to “normal.” Let our tradition guide you. Hold the duality of conflicting emotions. Pay attention to this moment in history and record your experience and learnings for the future. And do your part, every way you can. A Beth Sirull is President and CEO of the Jewish Community Foundation of San Diego. She can be reached at beth@jcfsandiego.org.

Tevet | Shevat | 5781 | SDJewishJournal.com 39

the news

San Diego Public Libraries Expand Resources to Serve Community During Pandemic The pandemic has tested the public library system and shown they serve a key function in the city system. The use of their resources has greatly increased: usage of small business resources is up 70%, resources for educators is up 58%, circulation of eBooks is up 133% and logins for Gale Courses (interactive, instructor-led courses for work skills like finance, business, computer applications, etc.) is up nearly 300%.

The San Diego Public Library Foundation, which supports the libraries programs and services, has increased their support to expand services like extending WiFi into library parking lots and more laptops to be used in the outside courtyards.

40 SDJewishJournal.com | January 2021

DACA Restored, JFS Currently Offering Assistance to Dreamers A federal judge officially mandated to restore the DACA (Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals) program in full; a decision that Jewish Family Service of San Diego (JFS) wholeheartedly supports and applauds.

The reinstatement of DACA allows the program to accept new DACA applications for the first time in three years, signifying a huge victory for more than 640,000 current DACA recipients and an estimated 300,000 undocumented immigrant young adults who could be elilgible to apply for the program now, according to CBS News.

“This is a great positive step for the many people who have been waiting to apply for DACA for the first time. Our country’s foundation and great history is built by immigrants and we are encouraged that this decision marks the end of the anti-immigrant policies that have denied justice, safety, opportunity and hope for so many DACA recipients and undocumented youth across our nation,” said Senior Director of Immigration at JFS, Kate Clark.

JFS assisted over 700 individuals with more than 1,000 DACA applications and renewals since its inception in 2012. They also provide local colleges with pro bono immigation legal services through their Higher Education Legal Services.

“The Jewish Family Service legal team is honored to help Dreamers access the benefits DACA provides, many now for the first time. We are working fervently to file as many initial DACA applications at this time, knowing the window to file may be short given this administration’s continued attack on this vital program. Since the inception of DACA, JFS has stood by Dreamers and offered legal assistance,” said JFS Director of Immigration Services Leah L. Chavarria, Esq.

A BETH ISRAEL EDUCATION INSPIRES LIFELONG COMMITMENT TO JEWISH VALUES

Bill & Sid Rubin Preschool • Infant & Toddler Center PROVIDING YOUR CHILD A WARM, SECOND HOME - AGES 3 MONTHS TO 5 YEARS

JEWISH LEARNING • COMMUNITY • FAMILY NURTURING ENVIRONMENT • INCLUSIVE

Lee and Frank Goldberg Family Religious School EMBRACE THE EXPERIENCE - PRE-KINDERGARTEN TO 12TH GRADE

Seacrest Foundation: Call for Artists The Seacrest Foundation is looking for artists to design a permanent art installation for their upcoming virtual gala. The theme of the gala and installation is: “Hearts of Gold.”

JEWISH EDUCATION • COMMUNITY • FAMILY TRAVEL & CAMP • LEADERSHIP 9001 Towne Centre Drive, San Diego, CA 92122 • 8 5 8 . 5 3 5 . 1111• www.cbisd.org

The winning artwork will be installed in Annette’s Village Square on the Seacrest Village campus. The Foundation is seeking out artwork that embodies the qualities of love, courage, strength and compassion.

The deadline to apply is Jan. 20, 2021; interested artists in the San Diego community can learn more at seacrestfoundation.org/CallforArtists.

The upcoming gala is dedicated to honoring “Seacrest Heroes,” who have “Hearts of Gold” by ensuring the safety of the elderly residents of Seacrest Village while also providing a source of love and compassion.

The San Diego Jewish Journal Wishes Everyone A Happy New Year!

48 SDJewishJournal.com | January 2020

Unaffiliated in yoUr time of need i'm yoUr rabbi

WHEN YOU NEED A RABBI

Congregation B'nai Tikvah, Carlsbad

CALL RABBI BEN LEINOW

Ben Leinow Rabbi, PhD

“A RABBI WHO CARES”

Counseling & Ceremonies for:

Weddings (for all couples) Baby's Naming and Funerals CELL: 619.992.2367 760.727.5333 email: mYrabbiben@gmail.com MFT Lic #11820

Tevet | Shevat | 5781 | SDJewishJournal.com 41

ADVICE

ASK MARNIE

by Marnie Macaule asksadie@aol.com

“Mots” Or Resolutions For The Quirky Mind

M

y dear San Diegans: When the ball comes down in Times Square this year, instead of riotous crowds kissing, screaming, hugging, we might Zoom in on a few pigeons pecking.

The rest of the world, gowned and masked will, at midnight wherever, be mumbling: “Thank G-d and Good Riddance” to the year of “Can’t we just edit it out? How about a do-over?” On a brighter note, hope is alive and “feeling better.” Time to plan. And so, in the spirit of fireworks and pointy hats, I give you more of my Quirky New Year’s RESOLUTIONS that I call Marnie’s Mots.

These are the (forgive me) “life lessons” I’ve amassed after what seems like almost a century of living and working with other humans. Chances are, you won’t find them in 3x5 cutesy little books with posies on the cover. Never a posy person (and yes) with Jewish DNA coursing through my fingers, here are my “resolutions”–for the quirky.

You may need to sit. (All of them will be available in an E–book, once the stimulus sets in.)

Getting It! Personal Resolutions for Living MARNIE’S MOTS 1: Believe fact. Believe action. Believe the simplest explanation, in the absence of other compelling evidence. If he’s promised a little something for your finger–and he gives you a parrot–you’re getting bird feed.

Marnie Says: We all do it. Deny, wish, expect. When we spend our lives steeped in the Disney version, we remain stuck, power-

42 SDJewishJournal.com | January 2021

less and devour far too much Ben & Jerry’s.

2. Truth is not Reality. Reality demands proof. All truth demands is your point of view.

Marnie Says: The truth has many faces.

Each of us see it through our own lens. Far better to believe what is and what is truly possible, than what we believe should or must be.

3. Good people have bad moments. Smart people have stupid ones. But unless they’re calculated or continuous, they must be measured against a lifetime of moments.

Marnie Says: Human nature is thankfully imperfect and yes even serious mistakes may be deserving of a second chance–unless it involves serial killing or stealing your identity.

(Unless theirs is better.)

4. Between mates and friends, it’s unconditional love we’re going for, not unconditional surrender.

Marnie Says: The words “win” and “lose” are for rivals, not for those we love. For the winner there is no trophy, except for the soul of a “beloved” loser.

5. When your needs and your “intuition” are at odds, lead with your intuition. Sometimes it’s the only thing we humans have on our side.

Marnie Says: How many of us have backburned our strongest intuition to service our needs, our fears, our “but buts?” Many of us have listened to them in service of the weakest part of ourselves: “He/she may have some

huge issues, but so do I.” “But I’ll wind up knitting cat cozies.” “Maybe it’s me.”

How many of us have sent our intuitive quakes to the basement to be burned?

Always trust the deepest, truest, part of you and heed it as you would a siren’s wail.

6. A wise human refuses to fix the contented “un-fixables” and instead kills the delusion that we can.

Marnie Says: Those who’ve taken on the task of “fixing” the unwilling, will, however, accomplish one thing: a bed for themselves in the nearest E.R. 7. Texting someone you love anything but “Pick me up at 2 p.m.” is prey to more misunderstandings than listening to cable news.

Marnie Says: If there’s one thing I’ve learned as a counselor, it’s this: If we want a major upturn in communication, toss the texting when messaging feelings. Half the time, we’re clueless about what we’re writing and reading. What a waste of money to find out in therapy: “Oh that? IT WAS A JOKE!” 8. If you choose to stand in the shadow of someone else’s caviar cover-shots, be prepared to suck the fish eggs of destiny.

Marnie Says: “Let there be spaces in your togetherness and let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping. And stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the tem-

ple stand apart, and the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.” Khalil Gibran, The Prophet 9. A truly superior woman never engages in foolish competition– unless we’re talking about a Saturday sale at Macy’s.

Marnie Says: How can there be competition, or even a correct notion of “success” when each of us are a custom job, as unique as corn flakes?

10. Either take action or be doomed to let the odious “what if ” sour your soul.

Marnie Says: It is only through good risks, we can grow. Mistakes are our best teachers.

11. Cardiac arrest: A condition that occurs when an open heart remains prisoner of a closed one.

Marnie Says: In the matter of a partner, an open heart is more enduring than an open wallet.

12. Absolute thinking is the tyranny of accurate thought.

Marnie Says: Life is rarely black or white, but textured hues of gray.

An open mind sees all colors; all textures and has the gift to consider all options. Chances are at least one will be correct.

13. One of humankind’s most underused powers is the ability to control our reactions–in hate, in love and even in chaos. Choose life! Choose positivity! For this too shall pass.

Shalom with Love–Marnie A

SYNAGOGUE LIFE VIRTUAL EVENTS: Regenerative Organic Farming with Temple Solel

Jan. 11, 12 p.m. online Sharone Oren, Coastal Roots Farm Education Director, will discuss how farming can be regenerative and how it combates climate change. Visit templesolel.net for more information.

13th Annual San Diego MLK Jr. Day of Interfaith Community at Congregation Beth Israel

Jan. 18, 10 a.m. on Zoom This event will bring together people of different faiths and cultural backgrounds for community-building.

The featured speaker is John Brooks, member of the Environmental and Climate Justice Committee, NAACP, San Diego. Visit cbisd.org for more information.

Unlocking the Jewish Interfaith Home & Creating Holy Space on Zoom at Jewish Collaborative of San Diego Jan. 18, 7 p.m. on Zoom Explore how you and your partner can make a holy space in your home that feels right for both of you. The event is free, registration is requested. Visit jcosd.com for more information.

Young Families Tu Be’Shevat Scavenger Hunt with Congregation Beth El Jan. 24, 11 a.m. on Zoom Celebrate the holiday of the New Year of Trees with a seder and scavenger hunt list to do in your own neighborhood. Visit cbe.org for more information.

Men’s Club Zoom Forum at Congregation Beth Israel

Jan. 20, 6:30 p.m. on Zoom Featured guest for this forum is artist, author, lecturer Guri Stark who presents multi-media art lectures combining the artists’ biographies and world events. The program is open to all. RSVP is needed for Zoom details.

Visit cbisd.org for more information.

Tevet | Shevat | 5781 | SDJewishJournal.com 43

EVENTS

Cantor Deborah Davis

Design Decor Production

Custom Wedding Ceremonies

Let us work together to create a wedding ceremony that reflects the joy of your special day.

Mitzvah Event Productions

LYDIA KRASNER 619.548.3485 www.MitzvahEvent.com

As Humanistic Jewish clergy I focus on each couple’s uniqueness and their love for each other. I welcome Jewish, interfaith and same-sex couples. I also perform all life-cycle ceremonies. member of

lydia@mitzvahevent.com

The Joyous Music of Tradition and Transition.

Let the award-winning

Second Avenue Klezmer Ensemble

provide your wedding or Bar/Bat Mitzvah with lively, authentic music. Tradition has never been so much fun!

For further information please contact

Deborah Davis • 619.275.1539 www.deborahjdavis.com

JEWISH COMMUNITY Welcoming babies and families to San Diego’s Jewish Community ARE YOU EXPECTING A BABY OR DO YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO IS? Shalom Baby is an innovative program designed for San Diego families to celebrate the arrival of their Jewish newborns to affiliated, non-affiliated and inter-married families as a welcome to the San Diego Jewish Community.

To receive your Shalom BaBy BaSkeT and for informaTion conTacT:

For information call Deborah Davis: 619-275-1539

To hear samples, visit our website: secondavenueklezmer.com

San Diego .............. Judy Nemzer • 858.362.1352 • shalombaby@lfjcc.org North County......... Vivien Dean • 858.357.7863 • shalombabyncounty@lfjcc.org www.lfjcc.org/shalombaby • www.facebook.com/shalombabypjlibrarysandiego Lawrence Family Jewish Community Center, JACOBS FAMILY CAMPUS, Mandell Weiss Eastgate City Park, 4126 Executive Drive, La Jolla, CA 92037-1348

JESSICA FINK JUDY NEMZER VIVIEN DEAN l

Direct Line: (858) 362-1352 E-mail: littlemensches@gmail.com www.lfjcc.org/shalombaby/littlemensches l

Lawrence Family Jewish Community Center JACOBS FAMILY CAMPUS 4126 Executive Drive • La Jolla, CA 92037-1348

Lot For Sale Jewish Burial Section Two Spaces Together | Mount Sinai 1 Lawn Lot #63 | Spaces A & B El Camino Memorial Park

25% Discount

Below Market Value by Owner

For Information Contact: natesr@aol.com 44 SDJewishJournal.com | January 2021

FINANCE

Phil Bresnick, CWS® Financial Advisor Senior Vice President Financial Planning Specialist Family Wealth Advisor

619-668-4334

Fabrics for Fashion and Home

Philip.Bresnick@morganstanley.com The Bresnick Group at Morgan Stanley 5464 Grossmont Center Drive, Suite 200 l La Mesa, CA 91942 Direct 619 668.4334 l Toll-Free 800 729.2900 l eFax 800 216.4679 CA Insurance License #0A05261 / NMLS #1401662

©2020 Morgan Stanley Smith Barney LLC Member SIPC.

CRC2119372

Visit our Giant Store & Warehouse 907 Plaza Blvd. • National City

619- 477- 3749

92 locations in SD County Family Owned and Operated since 1953

Serving Cuban-American Food Est. 1976

NOWNOW SERVING BREAKFAST, AND DINNER SERVING LUNCH LUNCH AND DINNER OpenDaily: Daily: 11am 8 am–10 pm Open - 10pm PALM SPRINGS (760) 325-2127

1596 N. Palm Canyon Drive • Palm Springs, CA 92262

KORNFELD AND LEVY Support our dog’s Hebrew education!

Students Give the Gift of Sight to Israeli Blind Students are urged to help sponsor a puppy, either as a class Tzedakah Project, or as a Mitzvah Project for their Bar or Bat Mitzvah, to assist blind Israeli veterans and civilians in regaining their lives.

Certified Public Accountants 2067 First Ave., San Diego, CA 92101 Bankers Hill

p: 619.563.8000 f: 619.704.0206 gkornfeld@kornfeldandlevy.com

Gary Kornfeld Certified Public Accountant

REAL ESTATE

For information call

215-343-9100

968 Easton Rd, Suite H Warrington, PA 18976

www.israelguidedog.org Tevet | Shevat | 5781 | SDJewishJournal.com 45

Lawrence Family

Jewish Community Center JACOBS FAMILY CAMPUS

San Diego Center for Jewish Culture

31st SAN DIEGO INTERNATIONAL

ANNUAL

jewishfilmfestival SCREENINGS FROM THE COMFORT OF YOUR HOME

February 11–21, 2021

SAN DIEGO INTERNATIONAL JEWISH FILM FESTIVAL JOY F. KNAPP PRESENTATIONS In Memory of

Joy F. Knapp

Beloved Aunt of Shane and Daniel Sollender and Griffin and Jonah Schulman

46 SDJewishJournal.com | January 2021

Tickets On Sale JANUARY 6, 2021 lfjcc.org/film 858.457.1348

Tevet | Shevat | 5781 | SDJewishJournal.com 47

“Setting records for our sellers and getting a great deal for our buyer clients is what keeps our momentum thriving in any market,” says Blumenfeld. “Our No. 1 skill is being able to rise early each day before most wake up, work while many are on vacation and pride ourselves on being available to clients any time of any day.”

A native San Diegan, Blumenfeld has lived in many areas of the region, from inland to coastal communities. His strong appreciation of local architecture helps clients find the style they desire, from historic homes to oceanfront estates to rural properties with large landscapes.

–––––––––

BHHS Chairman’s Circle Diamond and Legend Award Recipient ––––––––– RISMedia Magazine 2020 Newsmakers Honoree ––––––––– SDAR Circle of Excellence 2020 Platinum Level Award Winner ––––––––– San Diego Real Producers Magazine 2019 Power Partners Feature –––––––––

Joel Blumenfeld REALTOR® DRE# 01889382

619.508.2192 info@joelblumenfeld.com

joelblumenfeld.com

2365 Northside Drive, Ste. 200 San Diego, CA 92108 An Independently owned and operated franchisee of BHH Affiliates, LLC