October 2019 by San Diego Jewish Journal

October 2019 Tishrei / Cheshvan 5780

Seniors Planned Giving

2 SDJewishJournal.com | October 2019

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Tishrei / Cheshvan 5780

October 2019

CONTENTS

page 33: PLANNED GIVING: JCF and Federation Talk Their Collaboration for Community Trip to Israel

page 37: SENIORS: It's Been Called a Silver Tsunami

page 41: FEATURE: Racism in Germany and American Cinema of the Twenties with Charles Musser 8 SDJewishJournal.com | October 2019

IN THIS ISSUE

page 38: FEATURE: The John Newberger Story

page 51: FEATURE: Connected and Unplugged: Taking a Shabbat from Tech

page 55: FEATURE: Rabbi Yael Ridberg Reflects on Dor Hadash During 2nd Chai MONTHLY COLUMNS

IN EVERY ISSUE

12 From the Editor 22 Personal

16 Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Up Online 59 Food 63 Diversions 64 News 66 Advice

Development and Judaism 24 Israeli Lifestyle 26 Examined Life 28 Religion AROUND TOWN

18 Our Town 20 The Scene 60 What's Goin On

ALSO IN THIS ISSUE 30: THERAPY: Ask the therapist column 47: SENIORS: The Second Time Around 48: COMIC: Sukkot 49: SUKKOT: Go On, Open Your Eyes 51: FEATURE: Connected and Unplugged: Taking a Shabbat from Tech

Tishrei / Cheshvan 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 9

are going choices, You are going to have to make some choices, You have toto make some You are going choices, You are going to have make some choices, toto have to make some choices, but you don’t have to make them alone. alone. but you don’t have to make them alone. but you don’t alone. have toto make them alone. but you don’t have make them alone.

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October 2019 • Tishrei / Cheshvan 5780

ents

Changing can be difficult but we are with you every step ofofthe way. Changingjobs jobs can difficult with you every step of way. Changing jobs can bebe difficult butbut wewe areare with you every step the way. Changing jobs can be difficult but we are with you every step ofthe the way.

 Investment Strategies

to make some choices, aregoing goingto have make some choices, You toto have toto make some choices, Youare tohave have to make some choices, to make them alone. butyou youdon’t don’thave have make them alone. but have toto make them alone. have to make them alone. www.sdjewishjournal.com

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ASSISTANT EDITOR • Alex Wehrung ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR • Eileen Sondak CREATIVE DIRECTOR • Derek Berghaus Jeffrey R Liber, CFP® Managing Director- Investment OFFICE MANAGER • Jonathan Ableson CA Insurance Lic #0C28496 SENIOR CONSULTANT • Ronnie Weisberg 858-532-7904 858-532-7904

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492130 4CA 00 00 CONTRIBUTING WRITERS 12531 High Bluff Dr, Suite 400 12531 High Bluff Dr, Suite 400 Diego, CA 92130 San CA 92130 San Diego, CA 92130 San Diego, San San Diego, CA San 92130 Diego, CA 92130 San Diego, CA San 92130 Diego, CA 92130 San Diego, CA 92130 San Diego, CA 92130 12531 12531 H H igh igh B B luff luff D D rive, rive, S TE S TE 4 4 00 00 San Diego, CA 92130 San Diego, CA 92130 12531 12531 H H igh igh B B luff luff D D rive, rive, S TE S TE 4 4 00 00 12531 12531 H H igh igh B B luff luff D D rive, rive, S TE S TE 4 4 00 00 858-523-7913 858-523-7913 858-523-7913 858-523-7913 San D D iego, iego, C C A A 9 9 2130 2130 12531 High Bluff Drive, 12531 High Bluff Drive, San San D D iego, iego, C C A A 9 9 2130 2130 San San D D iego, iego, C C A A 9 9 2130 2130 12531 High Bluff Drive, STE 400 12531 High Bluff Drive, STE 400 858-523-7913 858-523-7913 858-523-7913 858-523-7913 San Diego, CA 92130 San Diego, CA 92130 858-523-7913 858-523-7913 858-523-7913 858-523-7913 858-523-7913 858-523-7913 858-523-7913 858-523-7913 San San D Diego, iego, CCCA 9858-523-7913 2130 Emily Bartell, Linda Bennett, Leorah Gavidor, 12531 Bluff Drive, 12531 High Bluff Drive, San San D Diego, iego, CA A 992130 92130 2130 San San D Diego, CA Bluff A 992130 2130 12531 High Bluff Drive, STE 400 12531 High STE 400 858-523-7913 858-523-7913 858-523-7913 www.LiberLincoln WMG.com www.LiberLincoln WMG.com 858-523-7913 858-523-7913 858-‐ 5High 77A 904 www.LiberLincoln www.LiberLincoln WMG.com San Diego, CAWMG.com 92130 San Diego, CADrive, 92130 858-‐ 23-‐ 904 858-‐ 5iego, 23-‐ 7CWMG.com 904 858-523-7913 858-523-7913 858-‐ 55523-‐ 23-‐ 77WMG.com 904 San Diego, CA 92130 San Diego, CA 92130 www.LiberLincoln WMG.com www.LiberLincoln WMG.com www.LiberLincoln www.LiberLincoln WMG.com WMG.com www.LiberLincoln www.LiberLincoln WMG.com 858-‐ 23-‐ 904 858-‐ 5San 23-‐ 7904 904 www.LiberLincoln www.LiberLincoln WMG.com www.LiberLincoln www.LiberLincoln 858-‐ 55 77904 www.LiberLincoln www.LiberLincoln San 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CFP®, CIMA® Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® R Liber, CFP® Jeffrey RLiber, Liber, CFP® Paul Ross (Senior Travel Photographer), Patricia Goldblatt, Jeffrey Don Lincoln, CFP®, Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® Jeffrey Jeffrey RR CFP® San Diego, CA 92130 San Diego, CA 92130 Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® Don Lincoln, CFP®, Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® Jeffrey R Liber, Jeffrey CFP® Liber, CFP® Don Don L12531 incoln, L incoln, C C FP®, FP®, C IMA® C IMA® Liber, CFP www.liberlincolnwmg.com www.liberlincolnwmg.com Managin g Director-Inves tments Lincoln, CFP, CIMA Don CFP, CIMA Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® Jeffrey R Liber, CFP® Senior Vice President-Investments Senior Vice President-Investments Don Don L incoln, L incoln, C C FP®, FP®, C IMA® C IMA® Jeffrey Jeffrey R R L iber, L iber, C FP® C FP® Don Don L incoln, L incoln, C C FP®, FP®, C IMA® C IMA® High Bluff Dr, Suite 400 12531 High Bluff Dr, Suite 400 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Senior Senior VCA V ice ice PSenior resident-‐ PCA resident-‐ IInvestments IInvestments Senior President-Investments Senior Vice President-Investments Don CFP®, CIMA® Jeffrey Liber, CFP® Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® Senior Vice Senior Vice President-Investments CA CA IInsurance IInsurance LLVice ic Lic ic #858-523-7904 #President-Investments Senior Senior V V ice ice PLincoln, resident-‐ PLincoln, resident-‐ nvestments nvestments Managing Managing D irector-‐ irector-‐ I#0C28496 nvestments Investments Senior Senior VCA V ice ice PL858-523-7913 resident-‐ Pic resident-‐ ILic nvestments Investments CA Insurance Lic CA #0C28496 Insurance LicPresident-Investments #0821851 Managing Managin CA Insurance Lic #0821851 CA Insurance Lic #0821851 Insurance #0821851 Don CFP®, CIMA® Jeffrey RggD Liber, CFP® Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® CA CA Insurance Lic #0C28496 Insurance Lic #0821851 CA Insurance Lic #0821851 Director-Inves Managin Director-Inves tments tments CA Insurance Lic #0821851 CA Insurance Lic #0821851 CA nsurance LPresident-Investments ic #0821851 0821851 CA IInsurance nsurance LLic ic ##0C28496 0C28496 CA Insurance L858-523-7913 ic #858-523-7904 0821851 CA nsurance #0821851 0821851 CA IInsurance nsurance Lic #Lic 0C28496 CA Insurance #President-Investments 0821851 Director-Investments Vice President-Investments Senior Vice don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com Senior Vice Senior Vice President-Investme Senior Vice Senior Vice President-Investments Managing Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® Jeffrey RLic Liber, CFP® Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® www.LiberLincoln WMG.com www.LiberLincoln WMG.com CA CA IInsurance IInsurance LL858-523-7913 ic Lic ic ##CA 0821851 #0821851 CA Insurance Lic Insurance #0C28496 CA Insurance Lic #0C28496 CA Insurance Lic #0C28496 Insurance Lic #0821851 Insurance Lic #0821851 CA Insurance Lic #0821851 CA Lic #0821851 CA Insurance Lic #0821851 CA Insurance #0821851 CA Insurance LicInvestments #0821851 CA Insurance Lic #0821851 Senior PresidentInvestments InvestmentsRabbi Jacobdon.lincoln@wfadvisors.com Senior Vice PresidentInvestments Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® Jeffrey R Liber, Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® CA Insurance CA Insurance #0C28496 CA Insurance Lic #0821851 CA Insurance Lic #0821851 Marnie Macauley, Rupp, Saul don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com CA Insurance Lic #0821851 CA Insurance Lic #0821851 CA nsurance LVice ic #0821851 0821851 CA I#0C28496 nsurance LLic ic ##0C28496 0C28496 CA ISenior nsurance LCA ic #Levine, 0821851 CA nsurance CA IManaging nsurance LDirectoric #CFP® 0C28496 CA IInsurance nsurance Lic #Lic 0821851 don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com Senior Vice PresidentManaging DirectorInvestments Vice PresidentInvestments don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com www.LiberLincoln WMG.com www.LiberLincoln WMG.com CA Insurance Lic Insurance #0C28496 Lic #0C28496 CA Insurance Lic #0C28496 CA Insurance Lic #0821851 CA Insurance Lic #0821851 CA Insurance Lic #0821851 CA Insurance Lic #0821851 CA Insurance Lic #0821851 CA Insurance Lic #0821851 Senior Vice PresidentInvestments Managing DirectorInvestments Senior Vice PresidentInvestments don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com Michelle Hasten don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com CAInsurance Insurance Lic#0821851 #0821851 CA Insurance #0C28496 CA Insurance Lic #0821851 jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com Senior Vicedon.lincoln@wfadvisors.com PresidentInvestments jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com Managing Investments Senior Vice Presidentdon.lincoln@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com Patty Dutra Patty Dutra Gina Grimmer don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® Jeffrey RDirectorLiber, CFP® Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA®Investments Don.Lincoln@wfadvisors.com Don.Lincoln@wfadvisors.com CA Lic CA Insurance LicLic #0C28496 CA Insurance Lic #0821851 jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com Jeffrey.Liber@wfadvisors.com Aleshi CAZeebah Insurance Lic #0821851

Gina Grimmer Lic #0C28496 Rachael CA Insurance

Zeebah AleshiLic #0821851 Eden, Sybil Kaplan. CA Insurance

don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® Jeffrey R Liber, Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® Jeffrey R Liber, CFP®Investments Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® Jeffrey.Liber@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com Don.Lincoln@wfadvisors.com Don.Lincoln@wfadvisors.com CA Insurance Lic #0821851 CA Insurance LicCFP® #0C28496 CA Insurance Lic #0821851 Senior Vice PresidentInvestments Managing DirectorSenior Vice PresidentInvestments Zeebah Aleshi Zeebah Aleshi Gina Grimmer don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com Zeebah Aleshi Zeebah Aleshi Gina Grimmer Gina Financial Senior Client Associate Senior Client Associate Senior Client Associate Zeebah Aleshi Zeebah Aleshi Financial Consultant Consultant Gina Gina Grimmer Senior Registered Client Associate Senior Registered Client Associate Financial Consultant Financial Consultant Zeebah Aleshi Zeebah Aleshi Grimmer Grimmer Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® Don Lincoln, CFP®, CIMA® Jeffrey RGrimmer Liber, CFP® Jeffrey Raddell Liber, CFP® jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com Gina Gina G G rimmer rimmer Alissa Alissa W W addell addell Gina Managing DirectorInvestments Senior Vice PresidentInvestments Managing DirectorInvestments Senior Vice PresidentInvestments Managin gConsultant Director-Inves tments Managin gaddell Director-Inves tments Gina Gina G G rimmer rimmer Gina Gina G G rimmer rimmer CA Insurance Lic #0C28496 CA Insurance Lic #0821851 CAGrimmer Insurance Lic #0C28496 CA Insurance Lic #0821851 Alissa Alissa W W addell addell Alissa Alissa W W jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com Zeebah Aleshi Zeebah Aleshi Senior Vice President-Investments Senior Vice President-Investments Gina Grimmer Gina Gina Gina Zeebah Aleshi Zeebah Aleshi Gina Grimmer Gina Grimmer Senior Registered Client Associate Senior Registered Client Associate Financial Financial Consultant Senior Registered Client Associate Senior Registered Client Associate Financial Consultant Financial Consultant Zeebah Aleshi Zeebah Aleshi Grimmer Grimmer Zeebah Aleshi Zeebah Aleshi Zeebah Aleshi Zeebah Aleshi Gina Grimmer Grimmer Gina Grimmer Gina Grimmer CA Insurance Lic #0G75099 CA Insurance Lic #0G75099 CA Insurance Lic #O178195 CACA Insurance Lic #O178195 Gina Gina G G rimmer rimmer Alissa Alissa W W addell addell Senior Registered Client Associate Senior Registered Client Associate Financial Consultant Financial Consultant Gina Grimmer Gina Grimmer Registered Registered C C lient lient A A ssociate ssociate Senior Registered Client Associate Senior Registered Client Associate Patty Dutra Patty Dutra Financial Consultant Financial Consultant AVP AVP -‐ R -‐ R egistered egistered C C lient lient A A ssociate ssociate CA Insurance License #0I83194 Managin CA g Director-Inves tments Managin g Director-Inves tments Gina Gina G G rimmer rimmer Gina Gina G G rimmer rimmer CA Insurance Lic #0C28496 CA Insurance Lic #0821851 Insurance Lic #0C28496 CA Insurance Lic #0821851 Alissa Alissa W W addell addell Alissa Alissa W W addell addell 858-523-7904 858-523-7904 Senior Vice President-Investments Senior Vice President-Investments Insurance Lic #O178195 CA Insurance Lic #O178195 Registered Registered C C lient lient A A ssociate ssociate Registered Registered C C lient lient A A ssociate ssociate AVP AVP -‐ R -‐ R egistered egistered C C lient lient A A ssociate ssociate AVP AVP -‐ R -‐ R egistered egistered C C lient lient A A ssociate ssociate jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com Gina CA Insurance Lic #0C28496 CA Insurance Lic #0C28496 CA Insurance Lic #0821851 CA Insurance Lic #0821851 Senior Registered Client Associate Senior Registered Client Associate Financial Consultant Financial Consultant Zeebah Aleshi Zeebah Aleshi Zeebah Aleshi Zeebah Aleshi Gina Grimmer Grimmer Gina Grimmer Grimmer CA Insurance Lic #0G75099 CA Insurance Lic #0G75099 CA Insurance Lic #0G75099 CA Insurance Lic #0G75099 CA Insurance Lic #O178195 CA Insurance Lic #O178195 CA Insurance Lic #O178195 CA Insurance Lic #O178195 Senior Registered Client Associate Senior Registered Client Associate Financial Consultant Financial Consultant Gina Grimmer Gina Grimmer Registered Registered C C lient lient A A ssociate ssociate Senior Registered Client Associate Senior Registered Client Associate Patty Dutra Patty Dutra Financial Consultant Financial Consultant AVP AVP -‐ R -‐ R egistered egistered C C lient lient A A ssociate ssociate CA CA iinsurance iinsurance LLic Lic ic #Gil 0178195 #A 0178195 zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com Consultant gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com CA CA i-‐Insurance nsurance nsurance Lic ic L#O178195 ic #lient 0I18483 #0I18483 0I18483 Senior Registered Client Associate Senior Registered Client Associate Senior Registered Client Associate Senior Registered Client Associate Financial Financial Consultant Financial Consultant Financial Consultant Registered Registered CInsurance C lient lient A ssociate ssociate Registered Registered CLC lient lient A0178195 A ssociate ssociate CA Insurance Lic #0G75099 CA Insurance Lic #0G75099 CA Lic #O178195 CA Insurance Lic #O178195 AVP AVP -‐ Gina R iiR egistered egistered C C lient AA ssociate ssociate AVP AVP -‐nsurance R -‐ R egistered egistered C0I18483 C lient lient AA ssociate ssociate CA Lic #0G75099 CA Insurance Lic #0G75099 CA Insurance Lic CA Insurance Lic #O178195 jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com CA CA nsurance nsurance L ic # 0178195 # 0178195 CA CA i nsurance i nsurance ic L ic # 0178195 # Yesenia Yesenia Gil CA Insurance Lic #0C28496 CA Insurance Lic #0C28496 CA nsurance L ic # CA i L ic # 0I18483 CA i nsurance L # 0I18483 CA i nsurance L ic # Grimmer Gina Grimmer CA Insurance Lic #0821851 Insurance Lic #0821851 Financial Consultant Financial Consultant Senior Client Associate Senior Client Associate don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com CA Insurance Lic #0G75099 CAzeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com Insurance Lic #0G75099 CA Insurance Lic #O178195 CA Insurance Lic #O178195 m Michelle.Hasten@wfadvisors.com Yesenia Gil Yesenia Gil Patty.Dutra@wfadvisors.com Patty.Dutra@wfadvisors.com Gina Grimmer Gina Grimmer Gina.Grimmer@wfadvisors.com Gina.Grimmer@wfadvisors.com zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com CA CA i nsurance i nsurance L ic L ic # 0178195 # 0178195 zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com CA CA i nsurance i nsurance L ic L ic # 0I18483 # 0I18483 Eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com alissa.waddell@wfadvisors.com alissa.waddell@wfadvisors.com Senior Registered Client Associate Senior Registered Client Associa Senior Registered Client Associate Senior Registered Client Associate Financial Consultant Financial Consultant Financial Consultant Financial Consultant CA Insurance Lic #0G75099 CA Insurance Lic #0G75099 CA Insurance Lic #O178195 CA Insurance Lic #O178195 CA Insurance Lic #0G75099 CA Insurance Lic #0G75099 CA gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com Lic CA Insurance Lic #O178195 CA CA insurance insurance Lic LAssociate ic #Associate 0178195 #0178195 CA CA iInsurance nsurance insurance Lic LCA ic #Lic 0178195 #0178195 Yesenia Gil Yesenia Gil CA insurance L#O178195 ic #Lic 0I18483 CA i#O178195 nsurance LClient ic #0I18483 ialissa.waddell@wfadvisors.com nsurance Lic #Client 0I18483 CA iRegistered nsurance Lic #0I18483 Gina Grimmer Gina Grimmer Financial Consultant Consultant Eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com Eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com Senior Client Senior Client Associate Insurance gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com Financial CA alissa.waddell@wfadvisors.com alissa.waddell@wfadvisors.com alissa.waddell@wfadvisors.com Client Client Associate don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com don.lincoln@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com jeffrey.liber@wfadvisors.com Registered Associate Associate zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com CA Insurance Lic #0G75099 Insurance Lic #0G75099 CA Insurance Lic #0G75099 CA #0G75099 CA Insurance CA Lic Insurance #O178195 #O178195 CA Insurance CA Lic Insurance Lic #O178195 Yesenia Gil Yesenia Gil CA Insurance Lic #0178195 CA Insurance Lic #0178195 Gina GrimmerClient Associate Gina Grimmer 858-523-7904 858-523-7904 zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com Client Associate Associate Client Associate Registered Registered Client Associate Eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com alissa.waddell@wfadvisors.com alissa.waddell@wfadvisors.com Eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com Eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com alissa.waddell@wfadvisors.com alissa.waddell@wfadvisors.com alissa.waddell@wfadvisors.com alissa.waddell@wfadvisors.com Yesenia Gil Yesenia Gil Client Client Associate Registered Client Associate Registered Client Associate zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com Fluent inCA Spanish Fluent in Spanish Lic #0G75099 CALicInsurance Lic #0G75099 CA Insurance LicInsurance #0G75099 CA Yesenia Insurance #0G75099 Yesenia Gil Gil CA insurance Lic #O178195 CA insurance LicAssociate #O178195 CAgina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com Insurance CA Lic Insurance #O178195 Lic #O178195 CA Insurance CA LicInsurance #O178195 Lic #O178195 Gina Grimmer Gina Grimmer CA Insurance Lic #0178195 CA Insurance Lic #0178195 858-523-7904 858-523-7904 Zeebah Zeebah Aleshi Gina Grimmer Gina Grimmer Client Client Associate Client Associate Registered Client zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com FluentAssociate inAleshi Spanish Fluent in Spanish CA insurance Lic CA insurance Lic #O178195 Gina.Grimmer@wfadvisors.com Patty.Dutra@wfadvisors.com Patty.Dutra@wfadvisors.com Yesenia Gil Yesenia GilGil Registered Gina.Grimmer@wfadvisors.com Yesenia Gil Yesenia Fluent in Spanish Fluent in Spanish Yesenia Gil Yesenia Gil Client Associate Client Associate CA insurance Lic #O178195 #O178195 CA insurance Lic #O178195 Gina Grimmer Gina Grimmer Client Associate Client Associate yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com Registered Client Associate Registered Client Associate eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com Zeebah Aleshi Zeebah Gina Grimmer Gina Grimmer zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com Senior Client Associate gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com Senior Registered Client Associate gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com Financial Consultant Financial Consultant Gil Gil Yesenia Gil Yesenia Gil Fluent inRegistered Spanish Fluent inAleshi Spanish CA insurance Lic #O178195 CA insurance Lic #O178195 Gina.Grimmer@wfadvisors.com Gina.Grimmer@wfadvisors.com yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com Patty.Dutra@wfadvisors.com Patty.Dutra@wfadvisors.com eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com Yesenia Gil Yesenia Gil Yesenia Yesenia Client Associate Client Associate Client Associate Client Associate Investment Investment and andInsurance Insurance Products: Products offered !NOT FDIC through Insured affiliates: !NO!NOT Bank Guarantee FDIC Insured !MAY !NO Lose Bank Value Guarantee Client Associate Client Associate yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com Registered Client Associate Registered Client Associate eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com Fluent in Spanish Fluent in Spanish Fluent in Spanish Fluent in Spanish CA insurance Lic #0178195 CA insurance Lic #0178195 Investment Investment and andInsurance InsuranceProducts: Products offered !NOT FDIC through Insured affiliates: !NO!NOT Bank Guarantee FDIC Insured !MAY !NO Lose Bank Value Guarantee Investment Investment and and Insurance Insurance Products: Products offered !NOT FDIC through Insured affiliates: !NO!NOT BankCA Guarantee FDIC Insured !MAY !NO Lose Bank Value Guarantee Senior Registered Client Associate Senior Registered Client Associate Financial Consultant Financial Consultant Yesenia Gil Yesenia Gil Yesenia Gil Yesenia Gil CA Insurance Lic #0G75099 Insurance Lic #0G75099 CA Insurance CA Insurance Lic #O178195 yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com !MAY Lose ValueLic #O178195 Client Associate Client Associate Client Associate Client Associate Client Associate Client Associate Investment Investment and and Insurance Insurance Products: Products offered !NOT FDIC through Insured affiliates: !NO!NOT BankFluent Guarantee FDIC Insured !MAY !NO Lose Bank Value Guarantee Fluent in Spanish Fluent in Spanish !MAY Lose Value !MAY Lose Value in Spanish Fluent Spanish yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com Fluent in Spanish Fluent in Spanish CA insurance Lic #0178195 CA insurance Lic #0178195 Yesenia Gil Yesenia Gil Yesenia Gil Yesenia Gil eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com Investment Investment and and Insurance Insurance Products: Products !NOT FDIC through Insured affiliates: !NO Guarantee FDIC Insured !MAY !NO Bank Value Guarantee Investment Investment and and Insurance Insurance Products: Products offered !NOT FDIC through Insured affiliates: !NO!NOT Bank Guarantee FDIC in Insured !MAY !NO Lose Bank Value Guarantee Zeebah Aleshi Zeebah Aleshi Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC, Member SIPC, offered is a registered broker-dealer and!NOT aBank separate non-bank affiliate ofLose Wells Fargo &

ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVES Jonathan Ableson – Senior Account Executive Alan Moss – Palm Springs

Fluent in Spanish Fluent Spanish SAN DIEGO JEWISH JOURNAL Fluent inAdvisors, Spanish Fluent ininValue Spanish !MAY Lose Value !MAY Lose yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com Company. Wells Fargo LLC, Member SIPC, is a registered broker-dealer and a separate non-bank affiliate of Wells Fargo & Company. Yesenia Gil Michelle Yesenia GilWells Yesenia Gil Yesenia Gil eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com eugenia.grimmer@wfadvisors.com yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com Michelle Hasten Hasten Company. Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC, Member SIPC, isregistered a registered broker-dealer a separate affiliate Wells Fargo Company. Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC, Member SIPC, is a registered broker-dealer and a separate non-bank affiliate of Wells Fargo & Company. Fargo Advisors, LLC, Member SIPC, is aAssociate broker-dealer andand a separate non-bank affiliate of of Wells Fargo & & Company. Client Associate Client Associate Client Associate Client Associate zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com Senior Registered Client Senior Registered Client non-bank ©2009 ©2009 Wells Wells Fargo Fargo Advisors, Advisors, LLC. LLC. All Allrights rights reserved. reserved.88580 88580–v1 –v1-0312-2590 -0312-2590 (e7460) (e7460) Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC, Member SIPC, is a registered broker-dealer and a separate non-bank affiliate of Wells Fargo & Wells Fargo LLC, Member SIPC,Associate is a registered broker-dealer and a separate non-bank affiliate of Wells Fargo & Fluent in Spanish Fluent inAdvisors, Spanish Fluent in Spanish Fluent in Spanish yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com ©2009 ©2009 Wells Wells Fargo Fargo Advisors, Advisors, LLC. LLC. All Allrights rights reserved. reserved.88580 88580–v1 –v1-0312-2590 -0312-2590 (e7460) (e7460) ©2009 ©2009 Wells Wells Fargo Fargo Advisors, Advisors,LLC. LLC.All Allrights rightsreserved. reserved.88580 88580–v1 –v1-0312-2590 -0312-2590(e7460) (e7460) Company. Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC, Member SIPC, is a registered broker-dealer and a separate non-bank affiliate of Wells Fargo & Company. yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC, Member SIPC, is a registered broker-dealer and a separate non-bank affiliate of Wells Fargo & Company. Company. Company. Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC, SIPC, is a registered broker-dealer and a separate non-bank affiliate of Wells Fargo & Company. Client Associate Client Associate Client Associate Client Associate (858) 638-9818 • fax: (858) 638-9801 Client Associate Senior Client Associate Fluentname inyesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com Spanish Fluent in Spanish Spanish Fluent in Spanish Wells Member ©2009 ©2009 Wells Wells Fargo Fargo Advisors, Advisors, LLC. LLC. All Allrights rightsreserved. reserved. 88580 88580–v1 –v1 -0312-2590 -0312-2590(e7460) (e7460) Yesenia Gil Yesenia Gil trade used by Wells Fargo Clearing Services, LLC, FargoSIPC. Advisors is aFluent tradeinname used by Wells Clearing Services, LLC, Senior yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com ©2009 ©2009 CA Insurance Lic #0675099 CA Insurance LicMember #0675099 yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com Member SIPC. ©2009 Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC. Allrights rightsreserved. reserved. 88580–v1 –v1 -0312-2590(e7460) (e7460) ©2009 Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC. All 88580 -0312-2590 Wells WellsFargo Fargo Advisors, Advisors, LLC. LLC.Fargo All Allrights rightsreserved. reserved. 88580 88580–v1 –v1 -0312-2590 -0312-2590(e7460) (e7460) yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com Fluent in Spanish Fluent inAssociate Fluent in Spanish Fluent inGilSpanish Yesenia GilSpanish Yesenia Client Client Associate CA CA Insurance Lic #0183194 Insurance Lic #0183194 5665 Oberlin Drive, Suite 204 • San Diego, CA MAY 92121 yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com Investment Insurance Products offered through affiliates:NO NOT FDIC Insured MAY NO Bank Investment Insurance Products offered through affiliates: NOT FDIC Insured NO Bank Zeebah.Aleshi@wfadvisors.com Zeebah.Aleshi@wfadvisors.com Investment and Insurance Products: NOT FDIC Insured Bank Guarantee LoseGuarantee Value Investment and Insurance Products: NOT FDIC Insured NO Bank Guarantee LoseGuarantee Value MAY Lose Value MAY Associate Lose Value Client Associate Client Fluent inand Spanish Fluent inand Spanish Investment Insurance Products Products:offered NOT FDIC Insured NO Bank Guarantee MAY Lose Value yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com Investment Insurance Products: NOT FDIC Insured NONOT Bank FDIC Guarantee Value yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com Investment through affiliates:NO NOT FDIC Insured MAY NO Bank Investment offered through affiliates: InsuredMAY NO Lose Bank Michelle.Hasten@wfadvisors.com Michelle.Hasten@wfadvisors.com Investment and Insurance Insurance Products: NOT FDIC Insured Bank Guarantee LoseGuarantee Value Investment and Insurance InsuranceProducts Products: NOT FDIC Insured NO Bank Guarantee MAY LoseGuarantee Value CA Insurance Lic of#0G75099 CA Insurance #O178195 !MAY Lose ValueLic zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com Client Associate Client Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC, Member SIPC, is a registered broker-dealer and a separate non-bank affiliate Wells Fargo & Fluent inAssociate Spanish

CAnon-bank Insurance #0G75099 CA Insurance LicMember #O178195 zeebah.aleshi@wfadvisors.com gina.grimmer@wfadvisors.com Client Associate Client Associate Wells Fargo LLC, SIPC, is a registered broker-dealer and a separate affiliateLic of Wells Fargo & Fluent inAdvisors, Spanish

Wells Fargo Advisors is Products: a trade name used FDIC by Wells Fargo Clearing Services, LLC, Member FINRA/SIPC MAY Lose Value Fluent inand Spanish yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com Investment Insurance NOT Insured NO Bank Guarantee MAY Lose Value Wells Fargo Advisors is tradename nameused used byAll Wells Fargo Clearing Services, LLC, Member FINRA/SIPC (c) 2016 Wells FargoisClearing Services, LLC Rights reserved 1016-02995 Wells Fargo Advisors aa trade by Wells Fargo Clearing Services, LLC, Member FINRA/SIPC Wells Fargo Advisors isClearing a trade Services, name used byAll Wells Fargo Clearing Services, LLC, Member FINRA/SIPC (c) 2016 Wells Fargo LLC Rights reserved 1016-02995 yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com (c) 2016 Wells Fargo Clearing Services, LLC All Rights reserved 1016-02995 Wells Fargo Advisors is a trade name used by Wells Fargo Clearing Services, LLC, Member FINRA/SIPC (c) 2016 Wells Fargo Clearing Services, LLC All Rights reserved 1016-02995 Wells Fargo Advisors is a trade name used by Wells Fargo Clearing Services, LLC, Member FINRA/SIPC (c) 2016 Wells Fargo Clearing Services, LLC All Rights reserved 1016-02995 (c) 2016 Wells Fargo Clearing Services, LLC All Rights reserved 1016-02995

Wells Fargo Advisors is a trade name used byFDIC WellsInsured Fargo Clearing Services, LLC, Member FINRA/SIPC MAY Lose Value Fluent inand Spanish yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com Investment Insurance Products: NOT NO Bank Guarantee MAY Lose Value Wells Fargo Advisors is trade nameused used byAll Wells Fargo Clearing Services, LLC, Member FINRA/SIPC (c) 2016 Wells FargoisClearing Services, LLC Rights reserved 1016-02995 Wells Fargo Advisors aa trade name by Wells Fargo Clearing Services, LLC, Member FINRA/SIPC Wells Fargo Advisors is a trade name used byRights Wells reserved Fargo Clearing Services, LLC, Member FINRA/SIPC (c) 2016 Wells Fargo Clearing Services, LLCAll All 1016-02995 yesenia.gil@wfadvisors.com (c) 2016 Wells Fargo Clearing Services, LLC RightsFargo reserved 1016-02995 Wells Fargo Advisors is a trade name used by Wells Clearing Services, LLC, Member FINRA/SIPC (c) 2016 Wells Fargo Clearing Services, LLC All Rights reserved 1016-02995 Wells Fargo Advisors is a trade name used by Wells Fargo Clearing Services, LLC, Member FINRA/SIPC (c) 2016 Wells Fargo Clearing Services, LLC All Rights reserved 1016-02995 (c) 2016 Wells Fargo Clearing Services, LLC All Rights reserved 1016-02995

Wells Fargo Advisors is a trade name used by Wells Fargo Clearing Services, LLC, Member SIPC. Wells Fargo Advisors is a trade name used by Wells Fargo Clearing Services, LLC, Member SIPC.

Larry M. Katz Certified Public Accountant

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EDITORIAL: editor@sdjewishjournal.com

Wells Fargo Advisors is a trade name used by Wells Fargo Clearing Services, LLC, Member SIPC. ADVERTISING: marke@sdjewishjournal.com Wells Fargo Advisors is a trade name used by Wells Fargo Clearing Services, LLC, Member SIPC.

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Tishrei / Cheshvan 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 11

Distance, Closeness, Touch

n our cover story, our theater contributor extraordinaire, Pat Launer, took a deep dive into this month’s WOW Festival. One of the installations in the festival is “Portals: Interactive Connected Trees,” by Israeli Matan Berkowitz. The installation works by having one touch one tree which wirelessly trigger a second tree and both respond with light and sound. The thought of this has intrigued me. It conjures up images of telegraphs, sending Morse code blips into the ether. And of course, all kinds of communication require a human touch–whether my fingertips onto my keyboard, a thumb to a screen, an index finger to a scroll wheel–but this emphasizes the tactile. I imagine walking up to a tree, placing my palm on it and it triggering another tree somewhere else in the world and imagining someone else’s palm touching mine. The way our language deals with distance associates proximity to “closeness” meaning something’s literal inches or feet from you can correlate to how emotionally familiar we feel. And “distance,” of course, means both literal miles and something being removed from our focus. If we are involved and understanding, we are “in touch.” All forms of communication aim to transcend this gap from one human being to another. I’m reminded of the tactile experience I had painting a butterfly as part of

And of course all kinds of communication require a human touch– my fingertips onto my keyboard, a thumb to a screen, an index finger to a scroll wheel–but this emphasizes the tactile. the Butterfly Project thinking of one individual child killed in the Holocaust. The physicality of holding the ceramic butterfly and the sound of the brush strokes on the porous surface brought the experience that is so far away in both distance and time into my hands. So is mass communication a form of touch as well? The metaphor of the ‘Information Age’ I encounter the most is the idea of “noise.” Too many voices speaking at once become indecipherable and cacophonous. Or maybe another touch metaphor, perhaps that the flow of information is too fast and too powerful to experience: taking a sip from a firehouse. The slot wheel-like scroll is of course tactile (for phones, desktop computers, tablets and all internet devices), but the cool

From The Editor 12 SDJewishJournal.com | October 2019

metal or glass surfaces of a screen is perhaps too slick for us mere mammals to feel the “warmth” or “closeness” of other kinds of communication. I find that every once in awhile, mass communication can actually achieve its intended namesake of social media. I’ve been following the story of the Hong Kong protests and it has been deeply stirring. Certain moments have hit me with a palpable punch. It is rare that one feels like they are witnessing history happening in real time and this is one of those moments. And this coverage has been making its way to me from traditional news sources as well as social media. To see something on the scale of these protests and read posts directly from protestors in their own English (or sometimes translated) explain their situation has made the screen feel so much closer to my face. As social media becomes more and more its own distorted reality, we are both in this other space and suddenly I am closer to them.

Jacqueline Bull

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Tishrei / Cheshvan 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 13

My name is Charles Hoffman and I live in Vista, CA with my wife Shelly. I wanted to let you know that I have enjoyed reading Andrea Simantov’s short articles that appear in the San Diego Jewish Journal each month. We have followed your stories of your visits with your grandchildren and your life in Israel.

let us know what’s on your mind.

We were very fortunate to finally visit Israel this summer on what was a most magnificent trip. We traveled with Shalom

Tours for 15 wonderful days. We have always supported Israel, but now have a different connection when we read your stories and feel a newfound warmth and love for Israel and its people. Keep on writing. We pray for peace and wish you and your family a Shana Tova. Charles and Shelly Hoffman

@SANDIEGOJEWISHJOURNAL

Send us your comments: editor@sdjewishjournal.com 5665 Oberlin Dr., Ste 204, San Diego, CA 92121

Please consider our guidelines for Letters to the Editor prior to submitting your comments: The San Diego Jewish Journal welcomes reader responses to articles. Due to space limitations, responses to articles cannot exceed 200 words and will be edited in coordination with the letter’s author and at the discretion of the editor and publishers. For readers who wish to submit multiple letters, we require three issue months to pass between published letters so as to make space for more reader responses. All readers can comment as often as they’d like in the comments section of our website, found at the bottom of every article on sdjewishjournal.com. Magazine articles are republished on the website at the beginning of each issue month.

14 SDJewishJournal.com | October 2019

On The Cover:

"Senior Prom," by San Diego Dance Theatre (ARTS DISTRICT Liberty Station), part of the 2019 Without Walls (WOW) Festival; photo by Manuel Rotenberg. See our coverage on the WOW Festival on page 42.

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Poway rabbi who lost finger in synagogue shooting gets lifelike prosthetic The rabbi who lost his finger in the April shooting attack on the Chabad of Poway in California has received a lifelike prosthetic finger. The silicone prosthetic is meant to help his hand function properly and is removed for sleep.

REVIEW: "Amadeus" Plays at North Coast Repertory Walking into North Coast Repertory Theatre, I see its stage is small and cozy. There are 200 creaky, red-cushioned seats crowded together, the front row seats so close to downstage that those sitting close enough could lean forward and kiss the actors’ shoes. It’s a remarkably intimate experience; the room is small enough that the actors do not require microphones to be heard, and you can make out many of the details of the gold, gilded moldings on the three doors that comprise most of the stage. There are two narrow doors flanking golden curtains, which themselves stand sentinel to the sides of the grandest, largest door. "Amadeus," first performed at the Royal National Theater in 1979, is a tale of revenge, madness and jealousy. It is a story recounted and told from the point of view of real-life composer Antonio Salieri, a favored member of the court of Joseph II, brother of Marie Antoinette and Emperor of the Holy Roman Empire. Salieri is a pious Italian-Catholic, who promises his upmost devotion to G-d in exchange for mastery of music. But when Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart arrives in Austria and shows himself to not only be loud and profane (the real man composed a piece entitled something roughly translating to ‘Lick My A**’) but infinitely more skilled than Salieri, the court composer vows to take his revenge upon G-d by ruining his most treasured voice: Mozart. Finish reading at sdjewishjournal.com

16 SDJewishJournal.com | October 2019

Sam Heifetz, a third-generation prosthetist at Orthocraft Prosthetic and Orthotic Services in Brooklyn, created the High Definition Silicone Restoration, or lifelike prosthesis for Rabbi Yisroel Goldstein, COlLive reported. He lost one index finger in the attack by alleged gunman, John Earnest, who shot with an assault rifle at close range. “His lost finger during the horrific attack in his synagogue is a physical reminder of hate but his counterattack of inner strength, trust in G-d and bringing good to the world sheds light over and over,” Heifetz said, according to the news website. One Poway Chabad member, Lori Kaye, was killed in the shooting attack on the last day of Passover, April 27. Three other members, including the rabbi, were wounded. After being shot, Goldstein ran to the social hall where congregants had gathered–as had several children, including his granddaughter–and he began waving them out of the building to safety. “I just ran, not even knowing my fingers were blown off,” he said.

Yeshiva University to open new Holocaust and Genocide Studies Center The Emil A. and Jenny Fish Center for Holocaust and Genocide Studies will train both school and university educators, offering them interdisciplinary graduate programs in Holocaust and Genocide Studies, incorporating history, Jewish studies, literature, law, philosophy and social work, the university said in a statement. Emil Fish, who was born in Bardejov, Slovakia, was sent with his mother and sister to Bergen-Belsen concentration camp, and was liberated from there in 1945. After reuniting with his father, the family immigrated to Canada and in 1955 moved to Los Angeles. Fish is the founder in 2006 and president of the Bardejov Jewish Preservation Committee, whose mission is to “restore the Jewish properties of Bardejov, Slovakia”; “build awareness of the cultural and historical significance of Jewish life in Bardejov and Slovakia”; and “advance knowledge of Jewish ancestry and heritage.” “We must know the history about what happened and why, and what the implications are for today,” Fish said in a statement. “The Center will educate young people and adults about a singular event in history that, regrettably, too few people understand, including what conditions existed before the Nazis ascended to power, how they rose to leadership positions and why they targeted Jews.”

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Tishrei / Cheshvan 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 17

our TOWN

BY LINDA BENNETT & EMILY BARTELL, PHOTOS COURTESY OF LFJCC

The 30th Annual San Diego International Jewish Film Festival Kickoff Party & Screening held on August 18th at the LFJCC started with an exclusive screening of “Fiddler: A Miracle of Miracles.” This documentary chronicles the history of one of the greatest Broadway musicals, "Fiddler on the Roof," which continues to resonate around the world to this day. Among those in the crowd were Nancy & Herb Adelman, Renee Barnow, Avrille Copans, Leonard Hirsch and Barbara Hoffer, Judy Freidman, Susan Hagler, Bobbi & Steve Laufer, Hillary & Jeff Lieber, Renee Zoffel, Barbara & Bill Sperling, Eva Shore, Lee & Dan Schwimmer, Gary & Didi Saks, and Sharon Resnick. Mark your calendars now for the SD Jewish Film Festival, which runs February 13-23, 2020.

Guests at the San Diego International Jewish Film Festival Kickoff Party & Screening.

Wow, What a Night!!! American Friends of Hebrew University 11th Annual Bel Air Affaire was magnificent! This annual fundraiser provides scholarships for Hebrew University students and has, in the past several years, raised close to $9 million! Held at the beautiful “Green Acres” estate of Ron Burkle (once owned by the famous silent film star, Harold Lloyd) in Beverly Hills, we were all treated to an exclusive performance “A Night with the Kings of Cool: A Rat Pack Tribute.” Among those seen kicking up their heels and singing along with us were Patty Glaser and Sam Mudie, Ruth Flinkman-Marandy & Ben Marandy, Sharon & Mark Vidergauz, Benita Jacobs, Barbara Lazaroff, Ronda Lippman, Hella & Chuck Hershon and Hebrew University President Professor Asher Cohen. San Diegans Roz & Stan Pappelbaum were also enjoying the evening with son-in-law Mark & Ellen Genender. Mark is President of AFHU Western Region. As in past years, event co-chairs, Renae Jacobs-Anson and Helen Jacobs-Lepor put on a spectacular evening!

Mazel Tov to…

Andrew Berton Handler, who was called to the Torah as a Bar Mitzvah on August 17th, at Temple Emanu-El. He is the son of Robert & Jennifer Handler, and brother of Alexis and Charles Handler. Andrew’s Bar Mitzvah happened to coincide with his grandfather Robert Berton’s birthday! Zoe Carnot, who was called to the Torah as a Bat Mitzvah on August 31st at Temple Ohr Shalom. She is the daughter of Lori & Brett Carnot. Proud Grandparents are Pamela & Ed Carnot, and Marty Spar.A 18 SDJewishJournal.com | October 2019

Marcia and Don Wolochow at the Film Festival Kickoff Party & Screening.

Tishrei / Cheshvan 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 19

the SCENE

STORY BY ALEX WEHRUNG/PHOTOS COURTECY OF LFJCC . CAPTIONS WERE NOT AVAILABLE AT PRESS TIME.

The Lawrence Family Jewish Community Center recently held its inaugural, two-day Sephardic Festival that celebrates this branch of Judaism. The first day of the festival was marked off with a Sephardic Havdalah to mark the end of Shabbat. Afterwards, attendees got to see the premiere of “Our San Diego Voices,” a documentary focusing on San Diego’s Sephardic community. It was followed by a screening of “Three Mothers,” a movie about three Sephardic women born in Alexandria in 1942.

20 SDJewishJournal.com | October 2019

The next day, festival-goers experienced a Shuk–a Sephardic marketplace with food for sale and hamsa-making, as well as free activities such as backgammon. Attendees were also treated to a performance from the Alhambra Sephadric Music Ensemble, a New York-based group that’s been performing Judeo-Spanish music since 1981. LFJCC board member Leslie Caspi co-founded and served as chair of the event, which saw a full house on Saturday night to experience this new cultural venture. A

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Tishrei / Cheshvan 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 21

PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT AND JUDAISM

THIS WAY TO EDEN by Rachel Eden rachel.s.eden@gmail.com

Perfect Timing

he idea that everything has its time is at least as old as King Solomon’s Ecclesiastes. We are tasked to tap into each unique milestone and communal holiday using our personal strengths and resources as best we can. We experience our feelings surrounding each moment naturally, like when we celebrate a new life or mourn the loss of a loved one and a past or future reality is emotionally far removed from us. Timing may not be everything, but it’s a critical piece of context when considering our best possible response to a situation. If you find yourself in synagogue on Yom Kippur afternoon, you might hear the Torah reading regarding the laws of sexual immorality. Talk about poor timing! Why would we spend the holiest day of the year discussing incest, adultery, or bestiality? We’re gathered together dressed like angels in white, avoiding food and drink, and praying fervently. Is there a concern that we might have a shameful thought about a ram? The reading seems out of place and, frankly, a spiritual buzzkill. But it’s precisely this day of transcendence that we are most equipped to work on our immoral physical desires. Another seemingly out of place (time) phenomenon, though perhaps less biblical, is the ever popular fundraising gala. Why would an organization juxtapose an extravagant evening of exquisite dining and entertainment while presenting a dire lack that necessitates philanthropic giving? Open your playlist and cue up “Turn! Turn! Turn!” because as it turns out (pun intended), the most opportune time to ask for money is when people feel very comfortable physically. When we emotionally experience a feeling of fullness and satisfaction, it’s easiest to give of ourselves. So, Judaism dictates that the High Holidays is exactly the right time to address strong physical temptations that 22 SDJewishJournal.com | October 2019

We experience our feelings surrounding each moment naturally, like when we celebrate a new life or mourn the loss of a loved one and a past or future reality is emotionally far removed from us. Timing may not be everything, but it’s a critical piece of context when considering our best possible response to a situation. can capture our base desires year-round, especially when we’re at our lowest. Connie Gersick, an organizational behavior professor, found that teams tend to work most effectively beginning at the midpoint of a project’s deadline. For example, if the allocated time for a project is 30 days, efficiency picks up on Day 15. If the project is 90 days, most teams swing into full gear on Day 45. When a goal is assigned with a deadline attached, examine the halfway date. With this in mind, I opened my October 2019 calendar and checked out the Hebrew dates of Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, and Sukkot. The Hebrew date for Sukkot is the 15th day of Tishrei. Exactly six months later, on the 15th day of Nissan, is Passover. There is, in fact, a scholarly debate surrounding the idea that Passover is actually the Jewish new year. Passover is the time for freedom, liberation from our lower selves. G-d pulled us out from the dark pits of Egypt, the place

that embraced immorality and enslaved us spiritually, emotionally, and physically. Midway through the year, a six-month follow up from Pesach, we must match G-d’s actions from the elevated platform of our spiritually cleansed, inspired states. It is our turn to pull ourselves out from our own dark pits and reflect on ways to do more and be more. If we truly understand the importance of timing, we will not let this month pass us uneventfully. In Daniel Pink’s book, When, he describes that all cycles go through three phases: a peak, a trough, and a recovery. Each day is built around these phases so you may want to consider booking your doctors’ appointments in the mornings. Pink reports that handwashing by medical staff dramatically drops in the afternoons as does the discovery of polyps in colonoscopies. In contrast, the likelihood of prescribing unnecessary antibiotics soars in the afternoons. Timing is key in successfully treating patients. Pink says, “Our problem, I think, is that we focus very much in our lives. We’re very intentional. What are we going to do? How are we going to do it? Who are we going to do it with? But we give short shrift to the question of when, and it has a big role.” No one wants to live an empty or meaningless life. We want to do our best, build up our accomplishments, and impact the world for the better. The time to motivate ourselves is now–this month! As King Solomon eloquently writes, “Everything has an appointed season, and there is a time for every matter under heaven ... a time to plant and a time to uproot ... a time to kill and a time to heal; a time to break and a time to build … He has made everything beautiful in its time.” Let’s plug into this month fully so that we may emerge our happiest and most successful selves at the perfect time. A

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Tishrei / Cheshvan 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 23

ISRAELI LIFESTYLE

LIVING ON THE FRONT PAGE by Andrea Simantov andreasimantov@gmail.com

Hidden Blessings

t was the same walk, the same route, the same partner, the same predictable Israeli weather when, without warning, I fell. A dip in the sidewalk closest to the curb caused my ankle to buckle, resulting in a graceless, exaggerated tumble. I quickly stood, brushed off the street grit and, ignoring my burning palms, knees and throbbing ankle, yuk-yuk-yukked my way home. Not so long ago I sported different attitudes. Indeed, when I was chronologically younger (but older than today), I might have limped home, nursed wounds and frantically consulted Dr. Google about petit mal seizures, calcium leakage’s correlation to osteoporosis, early onset dementia and whether to apply hot or cold compresses. Taking a page out of the “Man Plans, G-d Laughs” newsletter, how much vigilance is enough to ward off genetic diseases, roadway imperfections, relationship-slumps and stock-market crashes? If we can’t avert the unexpected, what is the use of purchasing travel or homeowners insurance? Talk of free will seems vacuous. I revisit this inner dialogue annually when, on cue, my husband Ronney and I schlep out the sukkah from storage. Hauling poles, fabric and a rotting bamboo roof up 24 SDJewishJournal.com | October 2019

four flights from storage, apartment doors gradually creak open as children wipe sleep from their eyes, grab a breakfast roll and, some still in pajamas, essay to assist with hammering, stringing and decorating. Our ‘community sukkah’ has become de rigueur in a building where no one has the requisite balcony and those who are religiously observant go away for the holiday. We cordon off a corner of the trash-strewn parking lot while the kids get busy. My job is sweeping and keeping the crowd satiated with iced tea and brownies while Ronney demonstrates unparalleled construction skills using reinforced twine, duct tape and heavy-duty cable ties. As in previous years, we forget which pole goes where, mess-up the foundational pieces and pray to Heaven not to send gale-force winds. The children keep popping in and out with their decorative contributions including oaktag and popcorn chains, pictures of long dead rabbis, paper mache and rubber fruit and enough tinsel to decorate the tree in Rockefeller Center. Parental donations might include a Persian carpet, two folding chairs, an extension cord. Our sukkah is a monstrosity of dumpster art and childhood fantasies, never to grace the pages of House & Garden Magazine.

It is the most beautiful sukkah in the world. The large table, several chairs and broom are there for all to use. Arriving home from the gym one morning, I get an emotional jolt upon seeing the 93-year old Argentinian widower (Apartment 5) sitting in the booth, reading a paper and sipping espresso. A few teens from the top floor have friends in at night for shesh besh (backgammon) and hookahs. The Iraqi family reserved it for the first night when we were away and, because their apartment is too far to comfortably carry food and dishes up and down stairs, I gave them the key to my place so they could use our near-identical possessions. As the weather turns cold, the sukkah reminds us that we are not in charge. By moving outside of our comfortable homes, we receive a spiritual knock on the head, the lesson being that only arrogance would allow us to think that our possessions will protect us. Bowing to the fragility of human existence, it becomes easier to recognize that there is only One Master to our destiny. A gale wind or dip in the sidewalk at a propitious time of year can be a gift from Above. A

Sofia Sanchez

“I Now Have a Completely Different Child”

hen my daughter began school there were a few indications that she may not be reaching her full potential. In first grade, her teacher worked with Sofia to help her understand a math problem. They did it together, then she left Sofia to do the next problem. When she came back, Sofia hadn’t done any of it. I knew my daughter was smart, but I didn’t know how to help her in the way that she needed. In second grade, Sofia struggled with reading, multi-step problems, and completing tasks. As a teacher myself, I knew we weren’t getting to the core of the issue with tutoring. The school psychologist suggested trying medication for “attention.” I would not even consider medication when we hadn’t tried anything besides tutoring! That’s when another teacher told me about Dr. Witkowski at Cognition Ignition. From Sofia’s first appointment with Beba she loved it. We cancelled her tutors and focused on getting her “mind in gear,” and that’s exactly what happened. Sofia began working with Beba in third grade once a week, and by the time she got to fourth grade, she was completing tasks, and her handwriting and spelling greatly improved, as did reading and math. In fact, her teacher commented that she had never seen a student improve so much in one school year. By the time she took the Star tests in fourth and fifth grade, Sofia scored Advanced, as compared to Below Basic and Basic in previous years. Sofia continued to work with Beba for part of fifth grade, but as her workload in school became greater and our schedule became busier, she stopped. Beba always said that you don’t regress with his work, so even

though Sofia missed two months of appointments, upon returning, she had one of the best appointments ever! By the time Sofia reached sixth grade, she was doing very well in school and even earned the Gold President’s Award for Educational Excellence in language arts and math! Now Sofia is in seventh grade, and she loves school and learning. I have a completely different child. She has become an independent learner. She’s organized and “plugged in.” Sofia has all As and one B, but most importantly, she’s learning and enjoying school. Sincerely, Janeen Sanchez RESULTS WITHOUT MEDICATIONS

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Tishrei / Cheshvan 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 25

EXAMINED LIFE

OUR EMOTIONAL FOOTPRINT by Saul Levine, M.D., Professor Emeritus in Psychiatry at UCSD slevine@ucsd.edu

If We Humans Are So Good, Why Are We So Bad?!

iven that homo sapiens is the most evolved of all the species on planet Earth, we humans can indeed be immensely proud of ourselves. Over the millennia of our existence on Earth, around 250,000 years, our brains and bodies have enabled us to withstand a myriad of challenges and create wondrous achievements. We’ve conquered many terrible illnesses and plagues, and overcome natural and human-made disasters. We’ve taken communication to remarkably sophisticated levels, using strange sounds called “words,” and derived alphabets. We’ve created stunning technology, edifices, medicines and transportation, and inspiring works of art, music and ideas. We like to think we’ve moved beyond the feral kill-or-be-killed lives of wild beasts. The very word “humane” implies that humans manifest traits like compassion, generosity, empathy, tolerance, respect, benevolence and integrity. A person like that is to be admired, a “perfect gentleman/lady” or a “mensch.” So, a question: If we are indeed so good (humane), how is it that we are so bad (inhumane)? It turns out that the same people who embody those “admirable” humane traits can also act in ways which are their very opposite. We (individuals, families, groups, nations) can be rude, selfish, intolerant, racist, cruel, threatening or violent, the antithesis of humane. As the old cartoon character 26 SDJewishJournal.com | October 2019

Hate-fueled violence has always been part of human history and continues today. For all our avowed benevolence, extremes of hateful aggression seem intrinsic to our nature, either programmed in our genes, or “bred in the bone,” embedded in our upbringing. Pogo famously stated, “I have seen the enemy and he is Us!” That same brain power which created achievements benefiting us, exemplifying inclusivity and caring for others, has created weaponry to inflict violence, exemplifying exclusivity and hate for others. Hate-fueled violence has always been part of human history and continues today. For all our

avowed benevolence, extremes of hateful aggression seem intrinsic to our nature, either programmed in our genes, or “bred in the bone,” embedded in our upbringing. No human society has been totally immune to hateful attitudes and behaviors. (Even Buddhists, long considered avatars of peace, have demonstrated abject cruelty in Myanmar and elsewhere.) In addition to our capacities for compassion and loving, are we humans also “compelled” to express inhumane hatred and violence? Worse, might we be doomed to self-annihilation? There are causes for some optimism: The evolutionary psychologist Steven Pinker has shown that over the millennia human beings have actually progressed in a number of humane ways, including the reduction or eradication of some epidemics, the diminution of widespread profound poverty, and especially (for this column) fewer wars and conflagrations. His thesis is that there is hope for our species, if one takes a long-range view. There are also encouraging studies which show that we can overcome our destructive impulses: aggressive children can be taught to be peaceable; selfish youngsters can learn to share and cooperate; bitter enemies can learn to feel empathy for each other; racist attitudes and acts can be significantly lessened through psychological and educational interventions; and previous vengeful and hateful tribalism can be supplanted by har-

monious living. We hear valid warnings about threats to our survival because of our carbon footprint. Global warming is finally being addressed by many individuals and governments (not ours!) with concerted efforts to stave off these cataclysms. But there is another dangerous human footprint we are not warned about: This is our conflict-ridden Negative Emotional Footprint, the adverse ways we human beings often treat and affect each other. Our Emotional Footprint can be Positive or Negative: A Positive Emotional Footprint reflects our propensities to benevolence and caring, while a Negative Emotional Footprint reflects our tendencies to belligerence and hate. These negative behaviors are seen in rudeness and anger in our dealings with each other, and on a larger scale, in hatred and violence towards others. Of course anger and aggression are part of our normal range of emotions which occur during the vagaries of life. We cannot eliminate them by hope or by fiat, but we can learn to control their frequency and intensity. Positive and negative behaviors are learned by “modeling” and teaching, and by “social contagion.” Our natural capacities for benevolence can be reinforced by positive examples, but they can be undermined by those who provoke hate. What a tragedy it would be if we allowed our inhumane tendencies to result in the demise of our species. Melodramatic, you say? Humanity has to realize that our negative emotional footprints represent a “clear and present danger” to our very existence. As we are doing with our carbon footprints, we can initiate concerted efforts to strengthen our positive emotional footprints and lessen our negative emotional footprints. The humane sides of us can enable us to live in better harmony, but we must first commit ourselves to this vital task both individually and collectively. I have no doubt that we can reduce our destructive tendencies: We have the brains and resources to accomplish this, but we first need the recognition and the will. I hold the fervent hope that “We shall overcome.” If we (our children, grandchildren, subsequent generations) are to survive, we really have no reasonable alternative.A Unaffiliated in yoUr time of need i'm yoUr rabbi

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RELIGION

POST-POLITICAL by Rabbi Jacob Rupp rabbirupp@gmail.com

Beginning with the end in mind and don’t give a mouse a cookie.

lease note: For maximum impact, please read the children’s book “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie” before embarking on this article. Ah! You discovered my secret! None of my content is original. Astute readers who were born befor, say, 1985 will immediately recognize the title of this article from Steven Covey’s famous book “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.” And for those who have let a decade or so elapse since they last read it and thought to themselves, “Hmm, I should try some of these things,” maybe go back and check it out. For everyone else, let’s use this principle as a springboard into something a bit deeper. First of all, Steven Covey wasn’t original either. He was simply repeating what Jews have been saying over over a hundred years on Friday night during the L’cha Dodi poem, “Sof ma’aseh b’machashva tehila.” Shabbat was the last thing G-d did, but the first thing He had in mind. Be like G-d. Begin with the end in mind. But what does that actually mean? How can you begin with the end in mind? Ultimately in this short phrase we have the solution for living an empowered life. As long as you don’t know where you are going, you will be consistently reacting to things that happen in your life versus actively creating what you’d like. Now of course we don’t want to admit that we have the power to create things in our life as reminding ourselves how powerful we truly are can oftentimes lead us to daring greatly or resenting the fact that we can’t.

28 SDJewishJournal.com | October 2019

For me, it took me so long to just run through the things I wished were different or that I just wish wouldn’t happen, I could hardly imagine what life would be like if I could really do anything. I will fully stretch myself on the therapists’ couch with this next insight. As a boy, my mom would tell me “I could move mountains.” As empowering as I found this message, it was always in the future. I could move mountains. Like I had that potential. But it wasn’t actualized. And, in my defense, how could I contemplate actualizing my potential as an eight-year-old? Turns out that as I got a bit older, it didn’t get any easier actualizing my potential. In fact, as some life factors went sideways, including watching a messy divorce and dealing with the fact that my dad just up and left one day, those mountains I was supposed to move slid further in the distance. Eventually, while ugly crying in my car outside my house after I lost my “dream job” I remember thinking, “What the ____, I was supposed to move mountains?!” I don’t want to be too hard on myself. In general, the natural state of being is to react to things that happen. We assimilate our surroundings. I love (in a sadistic way I suppose) how thrilled the news media is when a hurricane or natural disaster strikes. It’s like 'thank G-d something bad is happening! We have news!' The constant noise of negatively seeps into us and makes us negative nancies without even realizing it. Maybe it’s that childhood classic, “If You Give A Mouse A

But let’s say for one second that you actually live a life you would be excited to live. What would that look like? Cookie” that brainwashed us. It’s like you’re just stuck on a treadmill of just doing the next thing and the next thing for each thing you did in the past. Go get that rodent a glass of milk, because after all you gave him the cookie. But if we’re lucky, we wake up and realize we don’t want this life of providing crayons and sustenance to furry pests. It’s like maybe I want a cookie. Or maybe I don’t want this mouse in my life. Suddenly you’re awake and realizing that there are all kinds of things in your life you’re busy reacting to, and its sucking your life, and you’re not having fun anymore. So that’s when you have to start looking at the things in you life, and figure out if those things taking your attention and your talent are worth it for you. Imagine for a moment you don’t have to respond. Imagine you can live a life that you want. What would that

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look like? Like I said, just unspinning yourself from the chain of events that so eclipse our lives seem to take forever. But they don’t have to. There’s a shortcut. Focus on a life that’s so good you can’t stand it (I’m not taking credit for this either, it came from my business coach, Don Scott). In this great life, maybe there are mice, maybe there are not. Maybe you will be moving mountains, maybe you won’t. But either way you have to actually consider what you want and start doing it. That’s what I tell my inner child. Either move those mountains or don’t. But don’t think about what you could do. You can do anything. Figure out what you want and start doing it. If you, dear reader, are like most people, you’ll get this dreamy smile on your face for a moment and then it will dissipate, followed by a line like, “Yeah must be nice...right?’ or “Yeah, but you can’t actually do that.” And so, with a full understanding of what it means to put this in print, I say “Yes you can!” And how do I know? Because I am doing it. My mountains are my mountains and you will have to find your own mountains, but I can say with confidence that if you figure out what you want in your life, and hop off the treadmill of other people’s expectations, there is tremendous peace and passion in the day to day living. You don’t need specifics. And you don’t need to overcomplicate it. Just take some time to consider what you want in your life, and start taking baby steps toward that. Need a coach? Hire one. Need another degree (I doubt that, but whatever)? Get it. Don’t have time to work out? Wake up earlier. Live that life you want. Move the mountains, don’t just know you could. And please, don’t give the mouse a cookie. We know where it leads. A

9/9/19

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lebrating Israel

Based on the Paramount Movie by MIKE WHITE. Directed and Choreographed by WILFRED PALOMA. Book by JULIAN FELLOWES. Lyrics by GLENN SLATER. New Music by Sir ANDREW LLOYD WEBBER. Fridays at 7pm, Saturdays & Sundays at 2pm. ASL-Interpreted Performance 2pm Saturday, Nov 2, 2019. A Junior Theatre Premiere! Suitable for ALL Ages.

6TH Annual

Standwithus Invites All To Combat Antisemitism At Its Gala October 27

Mitch Danzig and the committed 18-member board, he will expand SWU SD's reach and grow its programming which includes the popular “Campus Crash Course” for students and adults and the diverse and impressive speakers at its “Lunch & Learn” sessions. Keynote speaker syndicated radio talk show host Larry Elder will draw from his personal experiences when he discusses antisemitism and “Why The World Cannot Register Online StandWithUs San Diego invites the Exist Without Israel.” www.standwithus.com/iheartisrael17 community to join it in “Standing Together Eight-year old Noya Dahan and her Against Antisemitism” at its 8th annual uncle Almog Peretz, who were wounded Journey “Leaders Personal of Tomorrow” gala being held inEntertainment the Chabad of Poway terrorist attack, Yahya Mahamid Kippalive d on October 27. The reception begins at will be honored. Youth from the synagogue Muslim Zionist t ‘Israel X factor’ finalists 5:30pm at the Marriott Marquis and Marina. will open the gala by singing the "Hatikvah." Yamia Benhaim joins her fellow board Attendees will enjoy dynamic educational members Jaime Feder and Natalie Josephson videos and hear about how SWU San Dietary laws observed. who will once again co-host to produce this Diego is fulfilling its mission of educating For moreevent. information, contact inspiring and motivating students on campuses, Sara Miller at saram@standwithus.com. Guests will have the opportunity to meet high schools, middle schools and in the Yosef Condiotti, StandWithUs San Diego's community. The new "leaders of tomorrow" new Director. Together with associate StandWithUs Emerson Fellow, High School director Yael Steinberg, Advisory Board Chair Intern and Campus Liaison will participate.

DAY NIGHT, DECEMBER 2, 2017

Participants will hear about the nonprofit organization’s newest initiative, the "StandWithUs Center for Combating Antisemitism," which is responding to the unfortunate rise of antisemitism around the world. Its new Director Carly Gammill, will explain the Center’s mission to “Identify,” “Define,” “Expose,” and “ACT” against antisemitism. "I am thrilled to be a part of the SD community. I am so impressed by the resilience and pride that exists here. We support each other when Israel and the Jewish people are faced with threats. The gala will be a celebration of our solidarity, our love for Israel and our commitment to standing together to defeat antisemitism not only in SD, but wherever it appears worldwide," states Condiotti. To purchase tickets for the “Leaders of Tomorrow” gala, visit: www.standwithus.com/sdgala2019 or contact Yaels@standwithus.com or call the office: 858-598-8220.

Tishrei / Cheshvan 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 29

3:57

THERAPY

ASK THE THERAPIST By Rafael James, Licensed Clinical Social Worker rafaeljames@thepowerofpeace.com

The opinions and views expressed in this column are not intended to treat or diagnose nor are they meant to replace the treatment and care that you may be receiving from a licensed professional, physician or mental health professional. If you have specific concerns or a situation in which you require professional, psychological or medical help, you should consult with an appropriately trained and qualified specialist.

are important. Next is to call them and ask whether they are accepting new clients and participate in your insurance plan. Once you get started on a treatment plan, you will likely feel better on a road to recovery. What you’re doing is commendable and courageous! I remain available to you for help accessing the right practitioner. Rafi

Dear Rafi: I have struggled with depression my entire life and thought it was simply who I was. I never wanted to go to therapy but lately it’s getting to the point that I have no motivation and find it hard to get out of bed in the mornings. I feel like I just want to be alone and I'm isolating myself from friends. I’m also realizing my job performance is starting to suffer. A friend suggested I try to find some support, but I don’t know where to start. Can you help? Struggling in San Diego

Dear Rafi: Our 16-year-old son is struggling to find his independence. He doesn’t have many friends and tends to hang out with us and our friends. We like having him around, but realize it’s not healthy for him. How do we encourage him to be more independent? Concerned Mom and Dad in Rancho Bernardo

Dear Struggling in San Diego: The National Institute of Mental Health reports that over 17 million American adults (7% of the population) suffer from depression. Additionally, 2 million children have been diagnosed with depression and over two thirds of suicides in the US are reported to be caused by depression. That being said depression can be helped with psychotherapy and/or antidepressant medication. An excellent resource to find a therapist is Psychology Today. You can read profiles and see pictures of private practitioners in your area. I would recommend identifying several therapists who have the qualities you think

30 SDJewishJournal.com | October 2019

Dear Concerned Mom and Dad: Your concerns are valid. Some kids go slower than others–perhaps to start you can encourage him to look for some teen meet up groups that represent his interests. There are a number of Jewish Teen programs in San Diego including YAM or JTeen. Also beneficial could be accessing the help of a therapist to facilitate healthy separation and individuation from him and his parents. Most importantly is to keep encouraging and supporting him. Good Luck! Rafi Something helpful I want to share as part of this column is a common scenario that elder people face and talk to me about. Often when people hit their late 70's and 80's, they are concerned about forgetting basic things

like where they left their keys, what they ate for breakfast and whether they locked the door on the way out of the house. My advice is this: You should know that a certain amount of short-term memory loss is normal to the aging process. When older adults start manifesting long-term memory impairments with difficulties remembering important markers in their lives such as their wedding day, this can be a concerning sign. Although the word “Alzheimers” is oftentimes thrown around, there are actually many different types of dementia and it’s important to get an accurate diagnosis. If you’re truly concerned that you are manifesting symptoms, I’d suggest consulting with a gerontologist who can do a full dementia workup to determine the sources of your memory loss. The good news is that when discovered early, there are therapeutic interventions. In the meantime try and keep your brain active with reading and other activities that stimulate thinking. Lastly of greatest importance is to maintain a positive attitude and hopes for the best in the future. Good luck my friend! Rafi To submit questions for next issue of “Ask The Therapist” email him at rafaeljames@thepowerofpeace.com. All personal information is kept confidential.

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JCF and Federation Talk Their Collaboration for Community Trip to Israel BY JACQUELINE BULL

ubbed “Start-Up Nation Meets Innovation,” this community trip to Israel (April 20-26, 2020) will open up the world of the country’s best and brightest in companies on the cutting edge of social change. Beth Sirull, President and CEO of the Jewish Community Foundation of San Diego (JCF) and Michael Jeser, President and CEO of the Jewish Federation of San Diego County, sat down with SDJJ to talk about this new venture. The interview has been edited for space. SDJJ: Has JCF or Federation ever done a trip quite like this before? Beth Sirull: I’m not sure there has been one quite like it in the United States. It is really unique. If not the first one, it is one of the first ones. Michael Jeser: What is also very different about it is you have two independent institutions that have locked arms around this to do it together, so both I think topically this is a creative endeavor, sort of communally, this is a great demonstration of organizations banding together, working together and I think that is another unique element of this. Beth: In a lot of other cities, the organizations are more tightly combined, but here they’re not, so we want to stand up and say and be an example to other organizations that we can start building not just a two-way collaboration, but three and four and five– and you know have a more tightly organized community, so we’re really excited about the collaboration as a process and really excited about the content as a unique offering. SDJJ: So what was the initial impetus to do this trip? Beth: When I first got here, I talked about

wanting to do something like this. I thought we would not do it for another couple years because I had been thinking we would build our impact investing capacity first and then follow that up with an impact investing trip to Israel, but then a couple of our lay-leaders sort of thought about this and were like ‘We should do this now.’ And they came to us and said, ‘What do you think about doing this?’ And then it just kind of came together. Michael: Beth is being a little modest. This is like her brainchild. Federation, we learned about it both through Beth and through some of the volunteer leadership that have been talking about it. Our interest wasn’t initially necessarily putting on a social entrepreneurship trip alone, but we have a serious interest in the social entrepreneurship environment in the south of Israel through our partnership. So when we heard about Beth’s vision, the social impact investing work that they’re doing, it was just a perfect marriage between what she’d envisioned and the way we saw we could deepen our connections to Israel and our community’s connection to Israel. So this was just a nice marriage of two complementary visions. Beth: And it also has to do with that Israel is one of the hotbeds for social entrepreneurship in the world and for innovation and that’s why it is called “Start Up Nation Meets Social Innovation”... And yet we also knew part of that Start Up Nation is about leveraging innovation for social change and social good in Israel and around the world. So that is a great place to go learn about social innovation which is about what we’re about. It is also a great way to showcase the good that Israel does in the world. We make no political statements here whatsoever, what we do say is that Israel does a lot of good in the world that is not well-known. So we think this is a great

opportunity to engage people who are really interested in social innovation in Israel and to engage people who are really supporting Israel in more cutting edge social innovation. Michael: I would totally agree. One way we think about it sometimes is that Federation is in the Jewish identity business and we feel strongly that a lasting, enduring relationship to Israel is vital to a lasting Jewish identity ... And at the end of the day people will leave feeling inspired, they’re going to feel connected to Israel, to each other, to the Jewish community and they’re going to know a lot more about how they can be a part of the social impact sphere. And I think those are all wins for the community. Beth: We’re also tightening the relationship with the Sha'ar HaNegev in the South of Israel and we’re going to particularly visit an incubator for start ups in Sha’ar HaNegev and that incubator is an organization that many San Diegans had a hand in starting … We will have an investment opportunity for donors who want to invest from their donor advised fund in the companies in the incubator so that you can make that investment. And if the companies do great, you have more money in your fund to give away and if the companies tank–as is often the case with venture capital–then it was a grant and you helped Sha’ar HaNegev. So there is a possibility of a return, but no promises, obviously. The only return can come to your donor advised fund, it is not an investment of your main capital. SDJJ: So that was going to be my next question: how does social innovation and venture capitalism stack on each other? Beth: So people who have donor advised funds here increasingly can use those funds to make investments for social impact as well as grants for social impact. And if you’ve

Tishrei / Cheshvan 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 33

heard me speak once, you’ve heard me say it a thousand times. We believe in the power of every individual to make a difference and collectively we can change the world. And our job is to help our donors make the biggest change and the biggest impact in the areas that really matter to them. And we want to use every tool that we can and sometimes the more impactful tool is an investment, not a grant. And sometimes the more impactful tool is a grant, for sure, but if you can make an investment, you should because if you get that money back, you can give it away again ... You want the best kind of capital for the situation because you want to make your philanthropic dollars stretch as far as you can and so we are trying to make those options available to donors.

Beth: Personally? I want to go to the Soda Stream factory [laughs]. Everyone in this building that knows me knows that they never see me not carrying…[To Michael] Have you ever been in a meeting with me without a Soda Stream bottle? Not once. I keep an extra bottle one in the office in case I forget to bring one from home every day. I’m devoted. And I’m devoted because I love the product, but I also love the mission and I want to see and acknowledge a company that employs Palestinian and Israeli and Bedouin people alongside one another and pays them the same, and feeds them the same and gives them the same opportunities. Because in my personal estimation, that is how peace is built: one meal at a time, one assembly line, one project at a time–together.

SDJJ: And how does the partnership between JCF and Federation work on this project in particular?

Michael: I think the piece that excites me the most–I’m also excited to hear from all the speakers–the trip that we will take to the South to the Sha’ar Negev is exciting for us. These are people with whom we’ve built relationships with for almost 25 years and we’re going to be cementing, recommitting and establishing new relationships on this trip and we’re going to spend the better part of an entire day there.

Michael: There is a joint committee. Beth and I both sit at the committee meetings … We meet regularly. Everything is done in partnership. Beth: Federation has the logistics more than Foundation because they’ve done other trips to Israel–not ones like this. Michael: And we’re not in a position to educate people about social impact investing. We each have our core competency or core expertise and like I mentioned earlier this is one of the sweet moments where everything is aligned and complementary. Beth: And now we are all out there trying to get the word out because we want to fill a bus or two. And we’ll both be staff members on the trip and that will be fun. SDJJ: So the trip is in April 2020? Beth: And we have some people looking at coming who have never been to Israel before and we can work with them to go early or stay late to see the more traditional–cause you know, we're not going to Masada, and we’re not going up to Galilee and we’re not taking a swim in the Dead Sea. We’ll have the ability to go to the Kotel and we’ll spend Shabbat in Jerusalem, but the traditional things that one would normally do on their first trip to Israel we’re not doing, but we are making it feasible for other people to do that if it is your first trip. SDJJ: What are some of the highlights of the trip that you are most looking forward to?

34 SDJewishJournal.com October 2019

Beth: We hope when we come back we will have established some relationships so that we might then bring some entrepreneurs from SouthUp to San Diego to meet with some of the investors who would ultimately invest in the companies in SouthUp. We see this as really the launch of a lot of other relationship-building and partnering opportunities between San Diego and Israel, particularly at things that are at the cutting edge of social change. SDJJ: What do you hope people take away from the experience? Michael: We want people to come back with a deeper sense of connection to Israel, that this isn’t just a country that is thousands of miles away and the only time that we see them are in the headlines in the news. We’re putting a face to the connection. We want people to come back feeling more personally connected to Israel and also to each other. In a city like San Diego, we’re a fairly large Jewish community, we’re spread out and if people can come back feeling like they have bonded with each other through an experience that they will not likely have through any other venue. And I hope they will come

back and maintain their relationships with each other and get together for holidays or Shabbat and stay close in touch. Beth: And be talking about what do you need? To be out there as ambassadors talking about what Israel is doing in social change. I mean if we go see Mobileye, that is unbelievable technology that enables someone who cannot communicate in any other way, with their eye basically. And that is a technology that will help people all over the world. It will help people in Syria and it will help people in Palestine and it will help people in Saudi Arabia. And Israel doesn’t say ‘Oh, we won’t export Mobileye to those countries.’ That’s not who we are. That’s not who Jews are and that is not what Israel is. So that people will come home and be really touched and inspired by the creativity and innovation and the tentacles that it has all over the world. Michael: To build off of what Beth said, the sense of pride, connection, willingness to tell the story and then of course what they can do beyond being an ambassador for Israel, they can invest and that is something very personal. It is not education, it’s not politics or advocacy, this is the way I can put my stamp as an investor or donor on building a better world in and outside of Israel. Whether this is a first-time trip to Israel or your 50th time, this experience is going to be different than likely an experience you’ve had. Whether people have an affiliation to a synagogue or Jewish organization, there is no prerequisite Jewish knowledge or identity to be part of this. We want anybody for whom this topic is of interest, [whether] they are interested in the travel or in the content matter. We want a diverse group. Beth: It is important to say though this is not a fundraising trip. There is no ask associated with this trip. There will be no ‘Please make a donation.’ This is an awareness building, educational, community building trip, obviously as major Jewish organizations in the city that people will come home and be inspired to do other stuff, but there is no requirement–financial or otherwise. And you don’t have to have a fund at the JCF and you don’t have to be a Federation donor and technically you don’t have to be Jewish. We’re not asking to see your parents' Ketubah or anything [laughs]. A For more information, visit: jcfsandiego.org/israeltrip2020

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It's Been Called a Silver Tsunami

Q&A with Carl Measer, Chief Operating Officer, Seacrest Village BY SEACREST FOUNDATION

t is estimated that by 2050, people over the age of 65 will represent more than 20 percent of the population, up from just 15 percent today. That shift may not sound significant, but it represents about 40 million additional Medicare-age people flooding the U.S. healthcare system. This ‘silver tsunami’ is driven partially by advances in the medical community helping people live longer, but also by the large number of retiring Baby Boomers–people born between 1949 and 1964–according to Dr. Thomas Gill, Director of the Program on Aging at Yale University. Over the next 15 years, each day over 10,000 Baby Boomers will reach retirement age. Research shows that 54% of older Americans lack sufficient retirement funds, a concerning number since savings can be depleted quickly with the potential of high medical costs. Declining health and social isolation, particularly after the loss of a spouse, are major factors in a senior’s decision to make use of home care or to move into a retirement community and lack of funds can have a significant impact on their quality of life, Barbara A. Friedberg claims in “Are We in a Baby Boomer Retirement Crisis?” We spent time with Carl Measer, Seacrest Village’s Chief Operating Officer, to learn more about how these trends are affecting Seacrest Village and the community at large. While he recognizes future challenges, he finds great hope and has immense gratitude for the continued support and generosity of our community members.

Charitable care is financial assistance for those who simply no longer have the means to provide for themselves and have nowhere else to turn. Currently we provide $2.5 million annually. At this same rate, 10 years from now, we would theoretically require $6.25 million per year to care for those in need, but because of the ‘silver tsunami,’ this will potentially not be enough. The number of people requiring financial assistance is growing at an unprecedented rate. Q: In addition to the Baby Boomers becoming a larger segment of the population, tell us about other trends affecting retirement communities.

Q: How have you seen the needs of our senior community change over the decades?

A: What we see is that people are living longer. The average age 50 years ago was 70 and today it is 79, but we are seeing people live to be 95, 100, 105 and few of us plan for this. Resources run out. Pensions are not provided as they were back in the 90s. After 2008, we saw people taking out second mortgages, so we see people with more debt. What savings people have can be easily depleted. We’re also seeing a generational age change. The age gap between parents and children is widening. In the past, children could support either their children or their parents during different times in their lives. They now are hard-pressed to be able to help their parents in their later years, as they are still under financial stress supporting their own children going through college or buying first homes. Residents and family members in a financial bind can come to us and apply for a scholarship. To be able to help is an honor.

A: Ten years ago, Seacrest provided $700,000 per year in charitable care to our residents.

Q: What about Medicare and Medi-Cal,

and things like long-term care insurance? Can these help seniors with financial obligations? A: Medicare and Medi-Cal will cover your doctor and hospital bills but they will not cover in-home care or accommodation in a retirement community. Independent Living, Assisted Living and Memory Care are paid for privately. Many long-term care residents in Skilled Nursing also pay privately. That can deplete saved funds very quickly. Many people have Long-Term Care Insurance Policies, but the benefits of these policies need to be reviewed carefully. They may only pay for care in a licensed community or in-home medical care, and the daily reimbursement often does not cover the full cost. Q: Would anyone know if a resident was receiving charitable care? A: No. This information is strictly confidential to maintain each person’s dignity. We treat everyone as if they are paying privately. Everyone gets the best treatment, no matter who they are, or what their financial situation is. There is no better feeling than to tell a scared family whose loved one has run out of funds, “You don’t need to worry. Your parents will be taken care of as long as they need us.” Q: What do you think the future looks like for Seacrest Village with many seniors in need, and the number continuing to grow? A: Our ability to continue helping residents in financial need depends on the support of our San Diego Jewish Community, who have given so generously for the past 75 years. I’m hopeful this tremendous kindness will continue for generations to come. A

Tishrei / Cheshvan 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 37

| FEATURE |

The John Newberger Story BY PATTY FULLER

Max Beckmann (1884–1950) Eisgang, 1923 Oil on canvas, 47.5 x 59.5 cm. Acquired in 1994 with means provided by the Kulturstiftung der Länder, the Marga and Kurt Möllgaard-Foundation and other donors, Property of Städelscher Museums-Verein e.V. and the Bundesrepublik Deutschland. Photo: Städel Museum - ARTOTHEK © VG Bild Kunst Bonn

n 1973, Gretel Hyman and her husband, both Holocaust Survivors from Germany, started coming to the JFS Drop-In Center for Senior Adults. Her whole life was the Center. Gretel was quoted in a Union Tribune article as saying, “Everyone will find a second home here. The coffee is always hot and there’s plenty of delicious food on the table.” Seventeen years after Gretel moved to California, she passed away. She was dearly missed by her friends and staff at JFS. Her nephew, John Newberger, bought the first blue van for JFS to transport seniors to and from the Center in honor of his Aunt Gretel. As a German-Jewish refugee, John was deeply committed to supporting Holocaust

38 SDJewishJournal.com October 2019

survivors. John passed away in 1997 at age 75. He left 5% of his estate to JFS. Twenty years later, JFS learned about an incredible chapter in John life’s that resulted in a surprise second legacy gift for the agency.

The Quest John Newberger was born in Frankfurt, Germany in 1922. A few months before WWII, John, an only child, was sent to the US to live with relatives at age 16. Three years later, his parents were deported to the Polish camps and never seen again. It became clear to John’s relatives in California that the young man was traumatized from childhood memories. At the end of the war until the late 1980’s, John was on a mis-

sion to reclaim a part of his past–a painting that he remembered hung on the wall outside his bedroom in Germany. It was titled “Ice on the River” (Eisgang) by Expressionist artist Max Beckmann. John’s father, Fritz, had purchased it from the artist in 1928 when John was only six years old. John never succeeded during his lifetime to track down the Beckmann painting, but never gave up. In 2017, his good friend and Executor of his estate, Lee Harris, hired two attorneys to carry on John’s lifelong search for “Ice on the River.” The attorneys located the painting at the Stadel-Museum in Frankfurt, Germany. The Museum Association had acquired the painting in the 1990’s from a previous

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40 SDJewishJournal.com October 2019

| FEATURE |

Racism in German and American Cinema of the Twenties: From “The Ancient Law” to “The Jazz Singer” with Charles Musser BY SUSANNE HILLMAN

he problem of assimilation is central to the history of minorities in both the United States and Europe. Given the significance of the issue, it is not surprising that it has been a staple of popular media, including motion pictures. In E. A. Dupont’s silent film “The Ancient Law,” released in 1923 Germany, the Orthodox Jew Baruch Mayer leaves a shtetl in Galicia for Vienna, where he pursues a career in acting. Four years later, American audiences were able to watch a loose adaptation of the film with a twist. Alan Crosland’s pioneering sound film in Hollywood, “The Jazz Singer,” may have been an adaptation of a hit play by the same author, but it also secretly remade “The Ancient Law” by transforming Baruch Mayer into Jakie Rabinowitz, the film’s main character who is played by Al Jolson (Asa Yoelson). The role of Jakie Rabinowitz turned Jolson into a movie-star overnight. Remarkably, his use of blackface did him no injury in the eyes of his admirers–to the contrary: he enjoyed enormous popularity among African Americans who viewed him as a friend and advocate of African American performers and valued his readiness to put black actors on stage. Blackface has long since ceased to be considered acceptable as a performance style, and we need not wonder that “The Jazz Singer” itself has been disparaged as profoundly racist. As a result of this criticism, the film’s former popularity with African Americans has been ignored and Jolson’s earlier theatrical performance that sometimes undermined and criss-crossed “the color-line,” to paraphrase W. E. B. Du Bois, has been forgotten. Thanks to the research of Charles Musser, a prominent film historian and documentary filmmaker based at Yale University, we now know about Jolson’s significance precisely for

the people his performance was thought to demean. The recovery of this important story and its message, which mirrors the message of “The Ancient Law,” is cause for cheer not only for aficionados of old film but also, and more importantly, for people concerned with the preservation of their cultural identity visa-vis the pressures of assimilation. As Musser suggests, “The Ancient Law” and “The Jazz Singer” are essentially optimistic in that they tell a story about the limits, rather than the toxic potential, of racism and antisemitism. “The films are about the ability to reinvent oneself,” Musser says, “and about the ability to move across cultures without necessarily assimilating.” Musser himself is no stranger to the need to retain one’s identity while navigating different cultures. As a New Yorker, he is privy to what he terms, tongue-in-cheek, the “WASP-Jewish conspiracy,” i.e. the inescapable intersection of Jewish and Anglo-Christian cultural forms in the Big Apple. The immersion in uneasily co-existing cultures is certainly a key theme of “The Ancient Law” and “The Jazz Singer.” To a large extent, the concerns that animate Dupont and Crosland are Musser’s own. His family history may be the reason for this ongoing preoccupation. While his ancestors were Anabaptists who left Switzerland for Germany and eventually colonial America, his wife Maria Threese Serana is a descendant of Jewish conversos who escaped the inquisition and resettled in the Philippines, where they were able to rebuild a sub-rosa Jewish community. Musser and Serana recently completed a documentary about their various family stories appropriately titled “Our Family Album.” The questions that the documentary engages are the same as those of “The Ancient Law” and “The Jazz Singer.”

“Despite the current attempts to whitewash U.S. history,” Musser says, “ethnic, racial, and cultural diversity is the predominant feature of the U.S. experience.” In this sense, all three films tell the story of human mobility and cultural diversity. Of course it would be a mistake to ignore the idealistic elements of “The Ancient Law” and “The Jazz Singer.” Both films downplay racism and antisemitism; as a result, they are hardly realistic representations of the historical period they depict. They do suggest, however, the tension between integration and the retention of a specific cultural identity. For Musser, this tension is both necessary and productive, especially for minorities. As he explains, it is the kind of tension epitomized by Martin Luther King and Malcolm X, who are both indispensable elements of African American culture, yet diametrically opposed in their aims and means. If African Americans embraced the story of Jakie Rabinowitz, Jews in the Weimar Republic could similarly take heart from the positive story told by Dupont. As depictions of transformative performance, the films have lost none of their critical edge. On October 24, Charles Musser will give a lecture at UC San Diego that addresses historical and contemporary perspectives on both “The Ancient Law” and “The Jazz Singer.” The lecture is part of a year-long series of public events organized by the Holocaust Living History Workshop, an education and outreach program at UC San Diego. The talk includes film clips and is followed by a panel discussion moderated by Frank Mecklenburg and featuring Deborah Hertz, Paul Lerner, and Cynthia Walk.A To register for this free event visit: www.libraries.ucsd.edu/visit/library-workshops/holocaust-living-history-workshop/ events/2019-2020.html Tishrei / Cheshvan 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 41

| THEATER |

Fourth time’s a charm: Another La Jolla Playhouse “WOW FESTIVAL” – in a new venue BY PAT LAUNER

alk about your WOW factor.

The La Jolla Playhouse searches far and wide–and locally–for unique, intriguing and entertaining presentations for its Without Walls (WOW) Festival. Since its inception in 2011, WOW has become a signature Playhouse initiative, designed to venture beyond the physical confines of traditional theater. The first two Festivals of site-based, immersive/interactive performances (2013, 2015) were held in and around the Playhouse theater district, on the UC San Diego campus. Over the years, a bevy of individual WOW-works have been presented in unlikely places: the San Diego Botanic Garden (“Susurrus,” 2011), Martini’s Above Fourth Supper Club (“Sam Bendrix at the Bon Soir,” 2012), Little Italy (“Accomplice: San Diego,” 2013), SILO in Maker’s Quarter (“El Henry,” 2014), the Lafayette Hotel (“The Grift,” 2015), Writerz Blok (“The Bitter Game,” 2016), the Challenged Athletes Foundation (“What Happens Next,” 2018) and (a personal favorite, which made repeat appearances), in automobiles, with an audience of two in the back seat (“The Car Plays: San Diego”). In 2017, the Festival was spread out around downtown. But there was no central meeting-place where folks could discuss what they’d seen and get recommendations for where to go next. The fourth iteration of this 4-day biennial festival combines the best of the fests, extending into the community at the Arts District Liberty Station at the former Naval Training Center in Point Loma. This 100-acre expanse of indoor and outdoor venues will have a central hub (the Show Imaging Festival Stage, with ongoing acts) and an open lawn area (the North Promenade) for congregating, sharing, connecting–and scoping out the many

42 SDJewishJournal.com October 2019

"Hall Pass;" pho

food and drink options at Liberty Station. In the past, performers have balanced precariously overhead, participants have walked blindfolded through a maze, and a huge puppet emerged from the ocean. This year promises to be equally innovative and beguiling. “There truly will be something to appeal to everyone,” says Christopher Ashley, the Rich Family Artistic Director of the La Jolla Playhouse. “We’re delighted that audiences of all walks of life can gather to celebrate our community’s adventurous spirit and rich cultural diversity.” This year, the Festival curator and producer is accomplished, 30 year-old Playhouse Associate Producer Teresa Sapien, who has been part of all previous WOW events, and has traveled the country and beyond to find provocative performances. “It’s a real joy to be out in the community,” Sapien says of the new venue. “The NTC Foundation has been enormously helpful and supportive.” There will be more than 20 presentations at this Festival. Half are free and outdoors; all the indoor presentations are ticketed. “For the first time, we’ll have a mix of international, national and local acts,” says Sapien, who received more than 50 responses to the “intensive application process.” Three productions were commissioned by the Playhouse: “Ikaros,” by New York-based Third Rail Projects, an audience-centered narrative of flight and failure, told through myth, film, poetry and dance. In view of the airport, the piece includes a walking tour through a desert garden path, and features images of the mythical Icarus and flight pioneer Amelia Earhart. “Las Quinceañeras,” by Liberty Station resident artist David Israel Reynoso and his immersive company, Optika Modern. In 2017, they produced “Waking La Llorona” for WOW, and were intrinsically involved in the Off Broadway mega-hit, the “Mac-

In the past, performers have balanced precariously overhead, participants have walked blindfolded through a maze, and a huge puppet emerged from the ocean. This year promises to be equally innovative and beguiling.

oto by Eliza Hoyland.

beth”-inspired “Sleep No More.” Their latest surreal, immersive, multisensory experience explores the Latinx rite of passage by inviting adventurous audience members to meet with a ‘paranormal optician,’ and then take a “hallucinogenic journey” into the early 1990s, to relive several 15 year olds’ celebrations. “Written in Stone,” motivated, says Sapien, “by people’s deep love of the car plays,” will be produced by San Diego’s Backyard Renaissance Theatre Company, the Playhouse’s 2019 resident theater. Using unexpected spaces around Stone Brewing World Bistro & Gardens at Liberty Station, they’ll present five new 10-minute plays that were inspired by their location and written by a diverse array of commissioned playwrights–from New York, Chicago, Texas, San Diego and Alaska. Other productions, from Australia, France, Poland, Mexico, New York, Utah and Israel, will have attendees experiencing a re-creation of a 1913 women’s suffrage pageant (“Allegory”); touching an unseen refugee through a (gallery) wall (“As Far As My Fingertips Take Me”); boarding kids on foot-propelled sailing vessels on an imaginary urban ocean (“Boats”); and roaming the poetic universe of T.S. Eliot (“Peregrinus”). The Israel submission is “Portals: Interactive Connected Trees,” by Matan Berkowitz. The installation turns two trees into 'portals of nonverbal communication.’ When one tree is touched, it “charges up” with light and sound; then, it wirelessly triggers the second tree, bringing it to life. As long as both trees are being touched, they are establishing communication between two different locations and people. A few presentations from the wide range of local producing organizations include the following: “Senior Prom,” from Jean Isaacs’ San Diego Dance Theatre, part of its Aging Creatively senior dance program; “How High the Moon,” by local playwright Mike Sears: a

modern folktale employing live music, animation, puppetry and actors to tell about a young couple who set out to make their story complete by retrieving the moon, but the journey also tests the fabric of their love. Presented in a nighttime storytelling circle; “A Midsummer Night’s Dream,” from San Diego Ballet: a whimsical take on Shakespeare’s beloved comedy as a ballet under the stars. A garden-set 360-degree experience; “Without a Net,” from Malashock Dance: a multi-dimensional participatory experience with an edgy, risqué, down-on-its-luck traveling circus/carnival. Audience members don costumes for the photo booth, play with the projection technology, and watch circus-themed dances, aerial acrobatics, a ‘clowntortionist’ and sword swallower; “Hall Pass,” from Blind Spot Collective: short plays and musicals by rising talents, set and performed in a high school, offering a glimpse of the world young people navigate every day. Audiences choose their own adventure as they experience the trials and triumphs of the class of 2022. “The Golem of La Jolla–Excerpts in Concert: A modern parable spoken and sung”: With music by acclaimed composer Michael Roth and libretto by Allan Havis, Chair of the Department of Theatre and Dance at UC San Diego, this contemporary chamber opera is as timely, ancient and political as could be. “Michael and I have been worried about the rise of white nationalism,” says Havis. “Despite the marches, murders and angry rhetoric, Jewish people we know casually are doubling down on support of Trump. We needed to say and do something. Another Jewish progressive we know suggested that ‘what we need is a Golem. It’s the only way to get through this nightmare of history we’re living through. It’s a time of morally demented leadership with very limited moral conscience or checks and balances on the Republican side.’

Tishrei / Cheshvan 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 43

"Hidden Stories"; photo by Franck Seret

“So we thought about that, and thought, ‘What if the Golem is conjured and has free will, and shows up for the job, but doesn’t want to do the work? And we thought: Which is the more moral action? Doing something sacred and blasphemous, but that kills less people? Or using traditional law enforcement to confront the mob? What do you do when you’re at a crisis point?” The piece is set a month before the 2020 election, when mosques and synagogues nationwide are under siege by white nationalists. A mysterious rabbi from Prague visits a fictional La Jolla Synagogue’s Rabbi Joan, trumpeting the arrival of an avenging beast, a gigantic, red-clay Golem. The original Golem legend came from 16th century Prague, where Rabbi Judah Loew ben Bezalel reported bringing a Golem to life through rituals and Hebrew incantations, to defend the Prague ghetto from anti-Semitic attacks and pogroms. The word ‘Golem’ was used in the Book of Psalms to mean an amorphous, unformed material. Many versions have the Golem eventually going on a murderous rampage. “The Prague rabbi in our story,” Havis explains, “reasons that employing a Golem will be more humane than having the National Guard fire into the crowd. Not convinced, Rabbi Joan warns her community about placing their faith in Kabbalistic black arts. Meanwhile, all await the clash outside the Temple door, between a marauding armed mob and the hideous Golem. “This is a timely fable,” Havis continues, “but it’s not a joke. It’s a serious meditation. I’ve belonged to a synagogue for years. Ten years ago, there were no police. Now, every Friday and Saturday Shabbat service, there’s a police car at the entrance. People are avoiding crowds, malls, schools, airports, houses of worship. We’re living in crazy times.

44 SDJewishJournal.com October 2019

"Peregrinus;" photo by Monika Kozlowska

“If you’re under siege, and you get together a minyan, and everyone says the right incantation, as in a séance, you conjure up a Golem: large, invincible, totemic, more dead than alive, to protect the Jewish people. But it’s not a precise defense mechanism. These measures have an element of risk. This Golem decides that he should stay out of the fight. He’s a conscientious objector. “The piece is bringing up political and spiritual matters,” says Havis. “This vibrant, energetic, young female rabbi is being tested; she has to show strength under fire. It’s an interesting dynamic, juxtaposing her with the older, male Rabbi from Prague. Which Rabbi will prevail with the congregation? The question is not resolved at the end.” The piece is still a work-in-progress. At the WOW Festival, we’ll only see about 35 minutes, a partly staged reading with a few songs and some thematic music underscoring. The excerpt will only be presented one time, on the Festival mainstage (Sunday, Oct. 20 at 11am). That might draw you to the Festival, but there will be so much more to see and do–on that day and the other three. “I’m quite proud of the mix,” says WOW curator/producer Sapien. “I think it will draw theatergoers, families, art and dance lovers, and those who enjoy experience-based events. We expect a big slice of San Diego to show up, in terms of age, zip code and ethnicity, including people just passing by. The WOW audience tends to be adventurous; they enjoy having new experiences. We can dream big and know they’ll follow us.” The 4th biennial WOW Festival from the La Jolla Playhouse takes place Oct. 16-20 at various sites around Arts District Liberty Station, Pt. Loma. A Tickets and information: 858-550-1010 ; WOWFestival.org.

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| SENIORS |

The Second Time Around BY MARNIE MACAULEY

ince the death of my husband, while mourning, filling out paperwork obviously conceived by an obsessive sociopath in Washington (forgive the redundancy), and the meshugge “Get right back on that horse” advice, I suddenly found myself part of a terrifying new demographic: Jewish Boomer Single. Here’s how. After staring at re-runs of “Chuckles the Clown” on The Mary Tyler Moore Show, attempting to master the truth about black holes, and spending 19 hours a day writing in my tattered T-shirt that reads: “How Can I Control My Life If I Can’t Control My Hair,” it occurred to me this isn’t normal–despite my advancing age. So, when the PR lady from a “Local Jewish Boomer Singles” called to ask me to give a speech, I quaked, then determined, “It’s time to get UP a little (and definitely time to wash the T-shirt).” First of all, I love sharing Yiddishkeit, but also, it might be an opportunity to meet interesting people who know that a muumuu isn’t the sound a cow makes. Was I ready for this? No. But I took a baby step and did what the magazines say: I took “inventory,” and looked in a full-length mirror, something I’ve avoided for 20 years, to answer the question: “who am I now?” Or in my case, “what?” It appeared that without my knowledge, my body parts had moved from “perky” to settling somewhere below my knees. My adorable “dimples” are now on my thighs. My upper arms could wave in planes, and the eye bags are a good Plan B should I run out of Ziplocs. As for inventory, as a writer, I have three one-size-fits-no-one wardrobes: Three “gently” used gowns for the Emmys whose expiration dates were 1990 when I bought them in 1995, and are age-perfect for Natalie Portman; two suits for when I’m forced to meet “suits;” and 300 torn schmattes that could be used in a low-rent production of Les Miserables. The hair was, is, and will remain fusilli in revolt (or revolting fusilli).

So, before agreeing, I decided to attend one of their events to get the lay of LocalJewishBoomerLand. I tore through my pathetic closet to find something that: a) sort of fit–someone; b) didn’t have an indelible ink stain or fuzzy feet attached, and most of all, c) might make me look 35 ... if there were a power failure. Then I beat my locks into frizzy spirals warning each to stay put or else, waving garden shears to show them I was serious. As a young woman, while I wasn’t exactly a threat to Cheryl Tiegs, I “knew” the drill, felt comfortable meeting and greeting, and was pretty OK with myself. Now, older, deafer, droopier, distressed, with a “social IQ” into negative integers, my quaking would make the Energizer Bunny look like he’s on a Sominex drip. So, my son drove me to LocalJewishBoomerLand. What I found (G-d don’t punish me) was, to quote The Producers’ “LocalLittleOldLadyLand.” Now before you get appropriately huffy, mamalas, I love old people; their insight, stories, wisdom. And most of all, now I am one, shy a few of their “half” years. I’ll explain. There they were: 16 women and three men–who after introducing themselves, told me their ages: “Darling, would you believe I’ll be 87 and a quarter in 13 days!” The only people who count age in fractions are either toddlers (“I ‘fwee’ and one half”) or those proudly marking off the time when the smiling weatherman announces, “ ... and in local news, Ira Shmelowitz turned 100 today! Happy Birthday, Mr. Shemlowitz, who made hats for The Roosevelts–both FDR and Teddy!” Oy vez iz mir! Either I’d grown cataracts, or the lady from “Local Jewish Boomers” left out in which century they “boomed.” In addition to fractional birthdays, another thing seniors and toddlers now seem to have in common is nursery camp, which I was “interrupting.” In every Jewish group there’s one “sha” lady whose “job” it is to shush everyone. (You whisper “hello,” she “sha’s” you. “Where should I sit?” “Sha.” “Where do I sign in? “SHA!”) It seems I walked in during a round

of “Row, Row, Row Your Boat” led by were three “counselors” who knocked each person on the shoulder when it was their turn to start. So, among the Goldbergs, the Steinbergs, and the Weinbergs, I gave up and “rowed” my miserable “boat,” praying for an “iceberg.” Other songs included, “Happy Birthday,” “Pop Goes the Weasel,” and “Do Your Ears Hang Low?” (which I found in highly questionable taste). The next “activity” was “alphabet!” The leaders “explained” how it goes from “A to Z” and, in turn, we were to come up with a word starting with that letter. To make absolutely sure we understood, they told each of us what our next letter was. Twice. First, I was “U” then I became “V” when one lady went to the Ladies room (or plotzed). I went with “VEZ MIR!” This was followed by “improv.” Each of us had to write something on a piece of paper, an exercise that took a half hour. I wrote: “YOU’RE MAKING ME MESHUGGE!!” I admit it. I wanted to watch these peppy tattoo-sporting, clearly not-Jewish leaders, attempt to pronounce it, which held out some promise of humor. It did. “Missaga?” “Meshaga?” “Mishgee?” The entire group cracked up and yelled “‘MESHUGGE!’ IT MEANS ‘NUTS’” (With a silent “YUTZ” in the air.) Then, they proceeded to joke and talk, with great wit and knowledge about the economy, politics, the Mid-East crisis, and tsunami threats in 5th world countries. Now, I was upset. First, I hated camp when I was five and here I was back again, except the “snack” was prune juice. By the time my son picked me up, he had to pick me up. “What’s wrong with you?” he said. “Look at my ‘peers’” I responded. In under an hour, ego shattered, I had limped to the car, complaining of bursitis. He laughed after the fifth time I asked him if he thought I “fit.” But more upsetting: I would be them in an eyeblink; these smart, wise, adults who the

Tishrei / Cheshvan 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 47

world had reduced to “five and a half.” Oh G-d, would I be forced to be told the alphabet? Reduced to singing nursery rhymes? How dare “they?” As I pass yet another birthday, I again looked in the mirror, then my computer, then to my clients. True, I walk a little slower, my patience–never a strong suit–has been reduced to nanoseconds, and I’m on my 56th undereye cream. I’m more adorable than I was five years ago. (I pay people to tell me the truth.) Also true, I can say what I want (“she’s just crazy red having a senior moment.”) Evolving is a joy! I’m more sure of what I’m sure about. And one of those things is when these “leaders” turn Boomers I swear, I won’t make them sing “The Old Grey Mare.” A

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| SUKKOT |

Go On, Open Your Eyes BY RABBI JACOB RUPP

y son held me with an iron grip. His face was pressed hard against my back, eyes closed. As we wandered through the low budget–yet highly effective–haunted house at the ‘world famous’ Minnesota state fair, I kept trying to grab my son from behind me, leaning down and telling him to open his eyes and look at what might come. Now, you may call me sadistic. Or thrifty. After all, we had paid $4 a ticket, and I would like to get my money’s worth. Or maybe we did get our money’s worth as he was scared out of his mind. But sadism aside, I wanted to teach him a lesson that I wish I had learned long ago. Look your fear in the face. After the endeavor, he complained he felt nauseous and wanted to throw up. I encouraged him to throw up and keep going. Having been raised in the loving arms of an overprotective Jewish mother, I have spent years being afraid of my own shadow. What if? What if I get hurt, or they don’t like me, or I go broke, or get fired? Find the jobs for good Jewish boys, with a nice benefit package and limited risk. It’s only recently that I awoke to the reality that I’m 36 years into this journey called my life and most of the stuff I worried about wasn’t that bad or didn’t materialize. And most of the stuff that I am worried about won’t paralyze me and won’t hurt too bad. But so often the very fear of the unknown paralyzes and blinds us. But like I told my son, look at the fear. The experience of looking itself reframes the whole experience. There is a lot of talk of happiness and faith during the holiday of Sukkot. But what can be ‘faithful’ about going out into

a makeshift hut in the backyard? And how does this bring us joy? At best, our need for control in life is like the death grip I would deploy on my armrests whenever the plane I would travel in would hit turbulence. At the end of the day it’s an exercise in futility. The harder we try to lock down parts of our life, the more we recognize how many things are truly outside of our control. This quickly leads to overwhelm and saps our strength and leads us to feel tremendous anxiety. The anxiety we feel is an indication that we are way off track. We are worrying about things outside of our pay grade. There are things we can affect and if we want to, we’ll do our best. If we can’t or won’t, what worry is there? But without anxiety won’t we be lazy? Without fear, wouldn’t we just fall into chaos? Ironically, the answer is no. In fact, life will continue just fine. And you’ll be just fine. In fact, you’ll be great. You will authentically live your life. You’ll seek truth, you won’t apologize so much, and dare I say you might have a chance to be happy. That doesn’t sound so Jewish, does it? The festival of Sukkot suggests that this approach is very, very Jewish. Having witnessed the ten plagues and the splitting of the sea, the Jewish nation was stripped of their illusion of control. They were hurtling through space without a parachute. And despite being wildly out of their comfort zone, they opted to follow G-d into a wilderness with zero plans for how they would feed themselves and their children. As the prophet says, G-d’s most fond memory of us was when we followed Him into the wilderness like a bride follows her groom. It wasn’t the groom dragging his

wife by a leash, as what kind of love does that show? Nor was it us yelling and nagging G-d, demanding him to show us his 10 year plan. It was simple faith; I will go where I want to go and things will work out ok. The supernal abundant mindset is that wherever we would find ourselves it would be ok. And with that, we lived in faith and prosperity in the desert for forty years! What kind of career path would you advocate that would lead to forty years of abundance? No promise of benefits, no 401K, no vacation time. Just go. I would venture to say the only career that one would pursue that would yield such an outcome is to learn how to bank on themselves. Learn to tap into you and go forth. Don’t close your eyes when you go into the world. Look at all the things that might or could wrong and realize that you can always recover. On Sukkot G-d gives us the ability to center our intention on the fact that we don’t need our walls to be whole. We don’t need literal or figurative boundaries to protect us from the world. Just like we can survive in a palace, we can survive and thrive in a sukkah. On the other side of unknown is peace, faith, and joy. There are no monsters hiding under our beds. We just need to knuckle down and look underneath. So open your eyes. Look hard at what scares you. When you can look at what scares you, suddenly you can manage it. It’s just a guy in a mask. It’s a limited belief. It’s just a fear of the unknown. No matter what, we are never in control. There are always things that can go wrong. But that’s life. And when we aren’t holding on so tight, we find the true meaning of happiness. A

Tishrei / Cheshvan 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 49

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| FEATURE |

Connected and Unplugged: Taking a Shabbat from Tech BY ALEX WEHRUNG

or the past decade, filmmaker, author and Webby Awards founder Tiffany Shlain’s family Shabbat has run with an additional caveat: turning off any and all screens for a full day. Now she has published a new book detailing what it’s like to completely unplug for 24 hours, a time-frame hinted at in her title of "24/6: The Power of Unplugging One Day a Week." “The first time I did a Tech Shabbat was with a Jewish organization that I am a part of called Reboot, and it was with the National Day of Unplugging,” Tiffany said. “It happened ten years ago, and I did the National Day of Unplugging with my family, and it felt so great. I never stopped doing it with my family. I think we were the only

ones doing it every week because it’s an annual event. But that was how it really got started for us.” The experience left with her not only with a fulfilled feeling of having abstained from the tech that normally permeates her life, but also an added appreciation for it. “It was amazing. When we started doing, it just was such a grounding day, it felt like it really reset the whole week, and we felt very connected.” The rest of the Shlain family looks forward to their weekly day of rest when they’re not available, not obligated to post and reply to things on social media. “It’s been really beautiful. Of course, we do a Friday night Shabbat dinner, we always have family and friends over, and that’s very social and grounding. “And then, the next day is filled with more quiet activities, you know, hanging out together, reading, writing, journaling, going outside together and doing modern art. So we don’t observe it in the traditional way of no creation, we kind of have ... really created this, what we believe means a day of rest. And our definition in this screen-addicted society is no screens. And it feels really wonderful; the longer we’ve done it, the more profound it gets.” The experience inspired Tiffany to write "24/6," which was released on Sept. 24. Tiffany considers this her first book, though she also wrote an approximately 50-page work for a TED talk called "Brain Power: From Neurons to Networks." She said that "24/6" is “the culmination of a lot of thoughts. I’ve done a lot of writing for scripts about it, and thinking about

it.” The book was sold in Aug. 2018, and completed approximately a year later. It was a different creative experience for Tiffany, as she is used to writing scripts for her own films, and not prose. She described the process of writing it as “interesting, as a filmmaker; it was a lot more solitary, and I loved it. I definitely think I’ll write more, I really enjoyed it.” In the process of writing and researching for the book, Tiffany came to a unique conclusion regarding the connection between ordinary Shabbat and her family’s Tech Shabbat. “I loved thinking about Shabbat as one of the first acts of equality where it’s not just that you took Shabbat, everyone took Shabbat. The animals, the people that worked in your home. It was like a day off for everybody. And it really felt like a beautiful, radical idea back then. There’s so much wisdom in the practice, and it’s a practice that’s right in front of us as Jews.” “Once we started engaging with it as a family, it’s been the most profound thing we’ve done,” Tiffany said; she hopes that people will try turning off all their screens and not being available to the world for a day. “What I look to in Judaism is the ethics and the practices and the rituals I love. And this is such a beautiful ritual, the more you understand the scope of it.” Tiffany hopes to spread word of the benefits of the Tech Shabbat through the non-profit film studio she co-founded: Let it Ripple. The studio’s mission statements is to “use film, technology, discussion materials, and live and virtual events to engage people in conversation and action around complicated subjects that are shaping our lives,

Tishrei / Cheshvan 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 51

and to update these topics through an engaging, accessible, 21st century lens.” It does so through cloud filmmaking, or the collaboration and sharing of film through cloud networking. Every year, the studio sponsors a ‘Character Day’ event– this year, it occurs on Rosh Hashanah–which provides challenges and resources for the sake of developing a participant’s character by strengthening positive qualities such as “empathy, grit, gratitude and leadership.” “What if we thought of a Tech Shabbat as a space to really focus on the best strengths to work on? Because most of us are really living our lives through screens now, we really wanted to ask the question of ‘what’s the relationship between your character and your screen muse? When does being on-screen advance who you are, in qualities like empathy, courage and social responsibility, and when does it diminish it? When is it good to do something on a screen, and when is it better to do it in-person? And when is it better to turn it off? “It’s a really exciting framework for us, because we feel like we need to be looking at this issue. It’s unchecked, the way we’re living. Everyone’s staring down all the time. What does that do? When people aren’t making eye contact when they’re talking, when it’s at the table, when it’s at the work table, it’s such a distraction. So it’s going to be a really exciting question. “We’re doing these mini-challenges right now; Character Day’s free, it’s funded by foundations and donors, sign-up just take a couple of minutes. Right now we just launched our first mini-challenge that leads up to Tech Shabbat, the Tech Shabbat challenge. “We’re asking people to wake up and not look at their phones for fifteen to thirty minutes, and replace it with something else you love doing: journaling, reading, playing an instrument, going for a walk, just besides looking at your phone to frame your day, in a way that you want to frame it, instead of letting stressful news or work emails frame your day.” The mini-challenges were released weekly up via email up until Character Day. To supplement the mini-challenges, Let it Ripple released a two-minute film called Dear Parents on Sept. 6; the film approaches the issue from a parent’s perspective. “Then the next week will be Dear Student for youth, and Dear CEO for all the companies that are creating this addictive technology, then Dear Fellow Human, which will come out the week the book gets published and of Character Day.” “A full day off of screens is wonderful, but there’s so many other things you can do throughout the week that will make your life better, and not make it feel like you’re just looking at your screen all the time,” Tiffany said. A At press time, Tiffany hoped to solidify San Diego as a stop on her book tour; visit 24sixlife.com to check her touring schedule and for more information regarding her book.

52 SDJewishJournal.com October 2019

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| FEATURE |

Rabbi Yael Ridberg Reflects on Dor Hadash During 2nd Chai BY ALEX WEHRUNG

or Hadash, the Reconstructionist congregation situated on the San Diego Jewish Academy campus, is celebrating its 2nd chai, or 36th-year anniversary. Rabbi Yael Ridberg, who has been Dor Hadash’s rabbi since 2010, reflected on making her start at the congregation and what makes it unique amongst other San Diego-area synagogues. Rabbi Yael first came to the congregation of 115 families after serving as the rabbi for a New York-based synagogue for 12 years. “And one of the very early feelings that I got was Dor Hadash really wanted to move into its next phase of establishment here in San Diego,” she said. Dor Hadash achieved a more visible presence “when we left our space in Kearny Mesa, and then went on to rent space from first the San Diego Jewish Academy, and then the Beth El synagogue in La Jolla.” Dor Hadash then left Beth El and made SDJA its permanent home. “When you choose to create a participatory and community-based organization that is about partnership, that’s about belonging, that’s about a sense of, in some ways, do-it-yourself-Judaism, it’s a very exciting and dynamic kind of congregation. “It’s unique. It’s not big, it’s intimate and it’s really a blessing to be able to help to create community in a place like San Diego where they are a lot of different options, and it’s a matter of ‘where do you feel most at home,’” she said. Rabbi Yael described ‘do-it-yourself-Judaism’ as being “about Jewish literacy, Jewish empowering [of ] a community to take on an understanding of Jewish life, and ritual, and observance. And the intellectual inquiry in purposeful ways.” “I think that the history of Reconstructionist Judaism, of reconstructing Judaism

in America, led people to feel like they could take a degree of ownership of their engagement with Jewish life in perhaps ways that they had not grown up doing.” The Reconstructionist Judaism movement (which has links to the Havurah movement) has a storied history. It was kick-started by Orthodox rabbi Mordecai Kaplan, who declared that Jewish tradition ought to be consulted regarding modern Jewish lifestyle, but not take its dictates as absolute. The movement overall identifies as being politically and religiously progressive; there are no barriers for inclusion. “Reconstructionist Judaism is a very embracing ideology and lens through which Jewish communal life can be imagined for the 21st century. And so I think that when we think about how we are as a community, the tagline of the movement as a whole is very apt: ‘It’s deeply rooted, and boldly relevant.’” Dor Hadash grounds itself to this idea of relevance through its advocacy of social justice. It has participated in the San Diego Pride Parade for the past 15 years, and holds an annual service to teach the beliefs of Martin Luther King, Jr., as well as discuss how to honor and carry forth his legacy. Several members of Dor Hadash also founded ‘Detainee Allies,’ a group that provides spiritual, communal and psychological support for detainees at the Otay Mesa Detention Center. Members of Dor Hadash, including Rabbi Ridberg, also stood in solidarity with Muslims in the aftermath of the white supremacist terrorist attacks in Christchurch, New Zealand. “We see a direct link between the teachings of our traditions,” Rabbi Yael said, “and how we are called to be in the world. And so our community continues to show up whenever we are asked and whenever there is the need, both in the Jewish community, like after the Pittsburgh massacre, certainly after Poway,

and as well as after the immigration bans that have come down, to really speak out as a community that remembers that we once were strangers, and we once were refugees, and we still are people who not only should take care of ourselves, but our commitment is to care for others. “Because if we don’t do both–care for ourselves and others–then we’re not living up to the values that Judaism offers.” To celebrate its 2nd chai, Dor Hadash will be putting on several events–many of which are currently still in the planning stages–and will perform outreach to get members of the San Diego community to visit the synagogue and see if they might want to return to it. “There’ll be a number of events throughout the year that enable that to happen,” Rabbi Yael explained. “We don’t ask anyone to abandon their head or their heart at the door. When people come where they come from and they are accepted as they are, we just want people to take a degree of ownership of their own Jewish life and practice, and that enables people to feel like that there aren’t many barriers to entry. Like, you don’t have to look a certain way, you don’t have to be married to a certain kind of person, you don’t have to have children or not have children. There’s such diversity among our members, that I feel like we look like the Jewish world. And that feels very good.” “There’s that which is a celebration for us ourselves, which is not at the exclusion of anyone, but that we’re also just excited... what’s the next 36 years going to be? How can we be even more present in the community? But all of our events, all of our services, all of our classes they’re all open to the public, they’re all available for people to come and try us out and seek us out, and we really invite everyone to do that,” Rabbi Yael said. A Tishrei / Cheshvan 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 55

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56 SDJewishJournal.com | October 2019

SALVATORE ERCOLANO Born in the Ital-

ian Island of Capri, Sal emanates all the charm of his homeland. Sal began his restaurant career at the age of 18, when he worked with his family-owned business. He landed in New York at 22 and served several years as manager of the infamous Mezza Luna in Manhattan. With this success, Sal was contracted to open an authentic Italian restaurant Va Bene from nuts to bolts in the trendy Lan Kwai Fong in Central Hong Kong where bars, restaurants and clubs attracted expats. He put Hong Kong’s Va Bene on the map by attracting celebrities, the rich and famous, executive expats and travelers alike. The experience and process of developing and opening a successful restaurant stirred a love and desire that does will not leave Sal! A year later, he bumped into an old NY colleague who told Sal about a new hot spot called the Gaslamp Quarter in San Diego. Sal hopped on a plane and came to visit the Gaslamp. At the time, there were only three restaurants on 5th Avenue. Sal, however, immediately saw the draw and potential especially with the new Convention Center down the road. With his HKG buzz still running through him, Sal decided to open the successful Zagat Award-winning restaurants Bella Luna and Paper Moon. Finding the right buildings, negotiating leases, developing menus and hiring the right partners soon became Sal’s forte. Since then, Salvatore has been a consummate restaurateur, establishing Villa Capri in Carmel Valley, a small chain of Come On In! Cafes throughout Sorrento Valley, Seasalt Seafood Bistro in Del Mar, Torrey Club Café in La Jolla and just recently opened West End Bar & Kitchen. In total, Sal has opened over 20 restaurants in San Diego! Remarkably, Salvatore has the same energy and excitement today as he did 25 years ago opening his first restaurant in San Diego. Sal is passionate about wine, food and people. In fact, the most common comment about Sal is that he truly loves people and sharing with his customers and friends–whether it's a funny story, a glass of wine or a picture of his kid’s recent successes. His best partner has been his wife Carmen who stepped into the business 15 years ago and handles the catering. Over the years, Sal’s passion for wine and his talent for creating sold-out backto-back Wine Dinners has become his latest quests. Sal has always nurtured relationships directly with wineries from Napa to France, Italy and Mexico. With the added personal wine representative sharing the in-depth history of each pour, Sal personally works his chefs to pair the dinner with each wine. Sal’s wine dinner followers have surpassed all his expectations. In part, the customers also love Sal’s show! "Finding balance is always planned. You have to love the restaurant business to keep your customers interested and coming back. I love this business!”

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58 SDJewishJournal.com | October 2019

Clafouti: A beautiful French dessert A few years ago I discovered clafoutis, a beautiful, French dessert, traditionally made with cherries, and popular in France since the 19th century. I began to make it with apples in the winter and all of the wonderful summer fruits in the summer. It is lovely for company or family especially when you need a quicky desert.

3. Bake in preheated oven for 35 minutes until clafouti is set and golden. To serve, dust with confectioners’ sugar, cut into wedges and top with whipped cream.

Basic Pareve Clafouti

Port Syrup ½ cup port 2 tbsp sugar

Yield: 3-4 servings ½ cup non-dairy creamer or other pareve milk 2 ½ tbsp. sugar 2 large eggs 1 1/2 tsp vanilla ¼ cup flour fruit of your choice 1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Spray a baking dish or pie place with vegetable spray. 2. Place non-dairy creamer or pareve milk, sugar, eggs, vanilla and flour in a blender. Blend until smooth. 3. Place fruit in prepared baking dish. Pour batter on top. Bake in preheated 350 degree oven for 35 minutes. Serve warm or at room temperature. These next recipes are all from Food & Wine with my adaptations.

Cherry Clafouti

Yield: 4 servings ½ cup sugar 3 large eggs 1 ½ t. vanilla ¼ cup and 2 tbsp flour ¼ cup and 2 tbsp almond flour ½ cup pareve milk ½ cup heavy cream 6 ounces pitted sweet cherries 1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Grease a round gratin dish. 2. In a mixing bowl, whisk sugar with eggs and vanilla. Add flour, almond flour, milk and cream and whisk until smooth. Pour batter into gratin dish and arrange cherries on top.

Fig Clafouti

Yield: 6 servings

Port Cream ½ cup pareve whipping cream 2 tbsp sugar Clafouti 1 cup non-dairy creamer ½ cup sugar 2 large eggs 2 tsp vanilla extract ¼ cup plus 2 tbsp. flour ¾ cup halved figs 1. Preheat oven to 425 degrees F. Grease a baking dish. 2. In a saucepan, combine port and sugar and bring to a boil. Simmer for 5 minutes. Let cool then refrigerate. 3. Whip cream to soft peaks. Drizzle in 1 ½ tbsp. port syrup and whip until firm. Refrigerate remaining port syrup and port cream. 4. Combine non-dairy creamer with sugar, and eggs in a blender. Add flour. 5. Pour batter into baking dish. Arrange figs standing up in the dish. Bake in preheated 425 oven for 15 minutes. Reduce temperature to 375 and bake for 20 minutes more until top is golden. Cool for 5 minutes. To serve, dust with confectioners’ sugar. Serve warm, passing remaining port cream and port syrup.

FROM MY KOSHER JERUSALEM KITCHEN

by Sybil Kaplan

Tishrei / Cheshvan 5780 SDJewishJournal.com 59

what’s goin’on?

| By Eileen Sondak

“Noura” writer Heather Raffo at The Old Globe Theater. The San Diego Symphony is ready to kick off its inaugural season under the baton of music director Rafael Payare on Oct. 5-6, but before the concert season starts, supporters will gather at Symphony Hall for a gala celebration in the Maestro’s honor. That black-tie affair, with Joan and Irwin Jacobs as Honorary Chairs, is slated for Oct. 2. The first weekend of performances at Symphony Hall features Mahler’s Fifth Symphony and Mason Bates’ “energy symphony.” The music plays on Oct. 11-12 with “A Midsummer Night’s Dream,” featuring pianist Vikingur Olafsson and the San Diego Master Chorale. A cast of actors performs Shakespeare’s immortal words, and stunning projections accompany the work. Estevez’s “Midday on the Plains” and Schumann’s Piano Concerto are also on the program. The Symphony’s Family Concert Series gets off to a mysterious start on Oct. 20 with “Lemony Snicket’s The Composer is Dead,” a program that challenges young audiences to solve a perplexing murder mystery with clues in the text. Fox Theater Series will begin on Oct. 26 with “Disney in Concert: Coco.” The orchestra will accompany the animated feature. The La Jolla Playhouse is still mining laughs from its new musical–“Kiss My Aztec!” The show’s irreverent and over-thetop brand of musical comedy is staying around through Oct. 13. The satirical story revolves around the Spanish and their attempt to procure the Aztecs’ riches in Mesoamerica. The Old Globe’s season got off to a strong start with the world premiere of a musical based on the Oscar-winning film, “Almost Famous.” Cameron Crowe wrote the book and lyrics (drawn from his own experiences) with classic songs and some new tunes by Tom Kitt. Crowe grew up near the Globe Theater and saw plays on the Festival Stage, so this is something of a homecoming for the writer/director. The story takes us into the world of rock and roll through a young man’s stint on the inside. You can catch this new musical (which has all the hallmarks of a Broadway-bound hit) through Oct. 27 on the Globe’s Main Stage. The Globe’s White Theater continues to showcase the

60 SDJewishJournal.com | October 2019

“The Last 5 Years” at The Cygnet Theater. West Coast premiere of “Noura,” loosely based on Ibsen’s “A Doll House.” The play will run through Oct. 20. The San Diego Opera returns to the Civic Theater Oct. 19-27 with a theatrical concert opera, “Aida,” an operatic gem. Broadway-San Diego will start the month off on Oct. 1 with “Anastasia.” This touring production will stay on through Oct. 6. North Coast Repertory Theater is serving up a Neil Simon comedy later this month. “The Sunshine Boys” will tickle your funny bone Oct. 23 through Nov. 17, and if you haven’t seen this beloved comedy in a long time, you might want to catch up with Simon’s memorable characters and brilliant dialogue while the show is ensconced in Solana Beach. NCR’s Tuesday Night Comics will continue on Oct. 1 with Mark Christopher Lawrence and friends. The San Diego Repertory Theater is ready to unwrap “Bad Hombres Good Wives,” a hilarious new comedy that describes itself as a mix of “The Importance of Being Earnest,” “The School for Wives,” and a “Narco Telenovela.” If that sounds like an intriguing and irresistible amalgam, you can see the show Oct. 3-27 at the Rep’s downtown Lyceum home. The comedy, directed by Sam Woodhouse, abounds with festive Mexican music to sing along–and the characters include a macho cartel lord, a desirable young woman, and the dreamboat son of a rival Narco capitan. Cygnet Theater will be dabbling in a racy political thriller until Oct. 6. “The Virgin Trial” features a young princess Elizabeth I, as she navigates a labyrinth of political and sexual intrigue. This is the companion piece to the megahit, “The Last Wife,” and it promises to keep audiences on the edge of their seats as the machinations of power play out on the Old Town Theater stage. Cygnet will follow that thriller on Oct. 23 with “The Last Five Years.” The intimate musical is about two 20-something New Yorkers who fall in and out of love during half a decade. The bittersweet story features beautiful music and a lot of humor. The show will continue through Nov. 17. The Lamb’s Players is staging a romantic adventure at its

“Without a Net” with Malashock Dance. Coronado home. “Ring Round the Moon,” settling in Oct. 11 for a run through Nov. 17, taps its humor and wisdom from the machinations between a pair of identical twins. The play is an adaptation of the classic, “Invitation to the Castle” and promises insights into relationships, love, and money. Coronado Playhouse recently unveiled Shakespeare’s “The Winter’s Tale.” You can see this ambitious production of the Bard’s masterpiece through Oct. 13. Malashock Dance will perform “Without a Net,” as part of the La Jolla Playhouse’s Without Walls Festival, Oct. 17-20. This unusual presentation will transform the company dance place into a circus-style event. Moxie will introduce the Olivier Award-winning hit comedy, “Handbagged” on Oct. 25. Under the direction of Kim Strassburger, this story about England’s Iron Lady and her relationship with the Queen, will continue through Nov. 17. Scripps Ranch & Oceanside Theater Companies will continue their joint production of “Foxfire” at SRT through Oct. 6. The show, directed by Ted Leib, will move to OTC Oct. 11 – 27. The Timken Museum’s “Masterpieces of Italian Drawings” is ensconced through Dec. 15. The show features Fra Bartolemmeo’s Study for Salvator Munde and Andrea del Sarto’s The Lamentation with Four Saints. The Museum of Art is featuring two new exhibitions. “Black Life: Images of Resistance & Resilience in Southern California” will show off 40 modern prints through Dec. 1. “Abstract Revolution”–settled in through Feb. 23 of 2020–will re-evaluate the development of Abstract Expressionism. The Museum of Contemporary Art’s downtown location will feature “Marnie Weber: Songs that Never Die and Other Stories,” a collection of sculptures and photographs by an artist from Los Angeles’ post-punk scene. The exhibition will be on view through Nov. 3. Birch Aquarium is highlighting a permanent exhibition, “Seadragons & Seahorses.” Hall of Fishes,” which also serves as a working laboratory, is also on view. Birch has an installation on light by scientist Michael Latz, and another exhibition that

Director of “Aida” Alan Hicks at The San Diego Opera. helps you understand Scripps’ expeditions to discover and protect the planet. “Expedition at Sea” includes a 33-foot long projected triptych and hands-on learning opportunities. Another interesting exhibition at the Birch is “Research in Action: 100 Island Challenge,” an exhibit that explores the way reefs are adapting to our rapidly changing planet. Also on display is “Oddities: Hidden Heroes of the Scripps Collection,” a comic book-inspired exhibit that highlights amazing adaptations of ocean species. The Reuben Fleet Science Center will be showing a new film, “Turtle Odyssey” (narrated by Russell Crowe) along with “Superpower Dogs,” (which showcases the bravery and prowess of some of the world’s most remarkable dogs) and “Volcanoes: The Fires of Creation” (which examines the contribution of volcanoes to the wildlife ecosystem and their impact on humans). Also at the Fleet is the “Renegade Science Project,” which escorts visitors through the park for a 90-minute exploration. Its newest exhibition, “Sun, Earth, Universe,” is an interactive exhibit that explores the world of space science and astronomy. “Pause/Play,” is an immersive experience for mind and body that uses science in a completely new way. The Fleet is offering “Dream, Design, Build”–an exhibition that explores the museum’s collection of interactive engineering activities, and “Taping Shape 2.0,” which uses hundreds of rolls of packing tape to create a world of translucent spaces and tunnels. The Fleet has several other permanent exhibitions, including “Don’t Try This at Home,” “Studio X”, “Block Busters,” and “Origins in Space.” The newest is “It’s Electric,” an interactive show that explores the fundamentals of electricity. The Natural History Museum is captivating audiences with “Escape the Nat”–an escape room experience that dares you to solve puzzles and save the world. “The Backyard”–a gallery for the 5-and-under set–and “Backyard Wilderness” (a 3-D film) are also on view. The newest 3-D film is “Hidden Pacific.” “Hidden Gems” is another attraction, along with “National Geographic: 50 Greatest Wildlife Photographs,”

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“Cannibals: Myth & Reality” and “PostSecret” at The Museum of Man. the newest photographic exhibition at the NAT. “Coast to Cactus in California,” and “Unshelved: Cool Stuff from Storage”–a display of specimens from around the world–are also worth checking out. The Nat’s 3-D films include “Ocean Oasis,” the newest film, “Conquest of the Skies,” which deals with flying animals, and “Flight of the Butterflies.” The museum also offers “Fossil Mysteries” and “Skulls.” The New Children’s Museum has a colorful new interactive textile environment to amuse the small-fry set. Dubbed “Whammock!” the intricate installation (designed by artist Toshiko Horiuchi MacAdam) invites kids to climb, play, and have fun. The San Diego History Center is featuring the first exhibition in Balboa Park exploring San Diego’s LGBTQ+ community. The History Museum’s permanent exhibition, “Placed Promises,” chronicles the history of the San Diego region– and the America’s Cup Exhibition, highlights the sailing race held in San Diego three times since 1988.

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SD Film Festival Opens With “JoJo Rabbit” BY JACQUELINE BULL

he San Diego International Film Festival is back Oct. 15-20 and is opening with a WWII satire. “JoJo Rabbit” written and directed by Taika Waititi follows a lonely German boy who is in conflict with his imaginary friend Hitler and discovering a young Jewish girl that his mother is hiding in the attic. The film is injected with Watiti’s unique New Zealand humor that is both dry and dark with a healthy measure of sweetness and heart. “He can do things in such unique ways and is brilliant at it. I’m hugely impressed with his work,” Tonya Mantooth CEO and Artistic Director of the festival said. “He is so incredibly talented. You can’t imagine creating a character like Adolf Hitler and making him funny, but he makes him funny and obviously the film is a satire, but the film takes you through every emotion,” she added. This film had been anticipated by the festival staff from talks with the studio over the course of the year. Tonya explained they are in conversation about their rollout, what films are coming out when and which are going to entertain festival screenings. “When we met with our colleagues at Fox Studios that

produced JoJo Rabbit it was a film they were very very passionate about and they set up a private screening for us up at the Fox Studios for us to take a look at the film. It is really a film I found to be an amazing film and one of the best films I’ve seen in very very long time,” Tonya said. The trailer states the film is the war against hate and what unfolds, Tonya expressed aligns with the mission of the festival itself. “Film has the ability to see something through someone else’s eyes and develop a sense of empathy. And that’s the only way we can move toward having compassion for others. And this film unfolds this in a really beautifully nuanced way. I’m so incredibly proud to have this film. But this film it makes you think, it takes you through every emotion, it is funny in parts, it is incredibly serious in other parts and it deals with the issue of nationalism. It is really an incredible film. You can tell I’m passionate about it [laughs].” Other highlights from the festival include the Night of the Stars tribute evening and Culinary Cinema where six chefs interpret a dish and wine pairing from a curated film. Visit sdfilmfest.com for more information.A Tishrei Tishrei // Cheshvan Cheshvan 5780 5780 SDJewishJournal.com SDJewishJournal.com 63 63

the news Diller Teen Tikkun Olam Awards Now Accepting Applications and Nominations The Helen Diller Family Foundation’s Diller Teen Tikkun Olam Awards program has begun accepting nominations and applications for 2020. The awards annually recognize up to 15 Jewish teens who distinguish themselves with their public service. Winning the Tikkun Olam Award means earning $36,000, which the winners can put towards supporting their ongoing community service projects, or their continuing education. The deadline to nominate teens is Dec. 18, 2019. Anyone interested in nominating or applying should go to dillerteenawards.org. The Diller Teen Tikkun Olam Awards were founded by Bay Area philanthropist Helen Diller, who wanted to recognize the next generation of leaders who exemplified the ideal of Tikkun Olam– repairing the world.

Hadassah Foundation Announces Grant Recipients

Ladan Akbarnia to Serve as New Curator at San Diego Museum of Art Ladan Akbarnia, Ph.D. has been hired as the new Curator of South Asian and Islamic Art at the San Diego Museum of Art. She will assume her new role on Oct. 15. Akbarnia will engage the South Asian, Middle Eastern and Muslim communities in San Diego, contribute to the Museum’s research and acquisitions, manage the development of installations, exhibitions and public programs, and build on the collection’s profiles via new projects and collaborations. Akbarnia has accumulated 20 years of specialized curatorial and research experience in Islam-related art from Iran, India and Central Asia. She previously served as Curator and Assistant Keeper for the Islamic Collections at the British Museum in London, serving as a lead curator for the Albukhary Foundation Gallery of the Islamic World.

Nonprofits and Theatre Company Join Forces

The Hadassah Foundation has announced its 2019 grant recipients: ten organizations located in Israel and the United States that aim to Nonprofits A Reason to Survive (ARTS), California Arts Council empower women. (CAC) and Blindspot Collective will bring theatre to schools across Recipients include Jewish Women International, Yeshivat Maharat, San Diego with the intention of presenting live theatre for local Jewish Women’s Archive, Girls Magazine, Adva Center, the Center students and their families, as well as celebrate the communities for Women’s Justice, Israel Women’s Network, Itach Maaki, Jewish served by ARTS. Women’s Funding Network Collaborative Grant, and SHIN–The Israeli As part of the effort, the Blindspot Collective will tour three productions Movement for Equal Representation of Women. from 2019 to 2020: “Danny’s Story,” “Sofia’s Story” and “Untold.” Each of these recipients enable women and girls to advance in leadership positions, increase their representation and involvement in political causes, eliminate unfair or separating religious barriers, and break glass ceilings in fields that are male-dominated.

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CAC support will also allow ARTS to give Blindspot a six-month artist residency, during which time professional artists, National City citizens and students from Sweetwater Union High School District will create a work of documentary theatre that celebrates the communities of National City.

Meetings and Events for Jewish Seniors Jewish War Veterans of San Diego, Post-185 Contact Jerome Klein (858) 521-8694 Oct. 13, 10 a.m. Veterans Association of North County, Post-385 Contact Marsha Schjolberg (760) 492-7443 Jewish War Veterans meetings Oct. 13, 11 a.m. North County Jewish Seniors Club at the Oceanside Senior Center Contact Josephine (760) 295-2564 Oct. 17, 12:30 p.m. JFS College Avenue Center at Temple Emanu-El Contact Mia Elenes (858) 637 3012 Oct. 18. 9:30 a.m.-11:30 a.m. Annual Health Fair & Flu Shot event, College Avenue Center. A $2 donation is suggested.

JCC Maccabi Games Registration Now Open The 2020 JCC Maccabi Games in San Diego are now open for registration for host families, volunteers and sponsors. The games allow Jewish pre-teens and teens aged 12 to 16 to come together and experience sports and recreational programs. The Maccabi Games also have a sister program, the JCC Maccabi ArtsFest, which allows participants to hone their art skills alongside other Jewish teens from around the world. Anyone interested in registering or learning more about the Maccabi games, visit sdmaccabi2020.org.

San Diego Convention Center Celebrates 30th Anniversary

Lawrence Family JCC Contact Melanie Rubin (858) 362-1141 Oct. 18, 12 p.m. to 1:30 p.m. Celebrate the Jewish fall harvest festival of Sukkot and Shabbat with your senior friends at the JCC, with entertainment and lunch. Price is $15 for members, $18 for non-members. Oct. 28, 10 a.m. to 11:30 a.m. Join LFJCC as they take a closer look at the musicals of theater and film, in another installment of Broadway and Bagels. On the Go Excursions Contact Mia Elenes at (858) 637-3012 Oct. 27, 1 p.m. Take a trip to see a production of “Man of La Mancha.” Pay $75 by Oct. 11.

The San Diego Convention Center plans on celebrating its 30th anniversary by commemorating the center’s staff, partners, board of directors and customers. The center has over 427 employees and been host to more than 5,800 events that have financially benefited the San Diego area. Its most notable annual event is San Diego Comic-Con, one of the largest pop-culture conventions in the world.

65 SDJewishJournal.com | October 2019

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ADVICE

ASK MARNIE by Marnie Macauley asksadie@aol.com

SENIOR SAVVY!

halom my dear San Diegans: It’s that time again. Seniors. I’ve no doubt that our dear publisher and editor deliberately plan this issue around my “advancing” birthdays to toy with my already fragile ego (never mind bones). When I was a mere stripling of 40 or so I asked a very “senior” actress what it was like to enter the “platinum years.” Expecting this petite, demure lady to lay on some pearls of wisdom, she stared at me and said: “Well, my dear it’s simply *^&RG()_Y&R&*(_!!!!!!” I’m sure you can translate. Thank heavens the new 66 is 35! (Like Pink is the new Puce.) But we can take heart. Back in the day, Andy Hardy’s mom looked 100. Everyone over 40 looked 100. Today, through the magic of yak urine, Keefer, and serum suffixes that end on “ox or “ex,” those of us advancing do look better than our parents did at our age and generally still get out for an airing now and then. If only we could get the Post Office to “spam” all those “offers” for “discreet” adult diaper ... and cemetery plots. Shall we read on? YOUTHENING? Dear Marnie: I am a woman in my late sixties who still looks great (yes, had the face lift), works out, and the rest. Several friends and I had a minor argument over telling our real age to the men we date. (We are a group of divorced and widowed ladies who met at our shul. We play cards, golf, and have lunch together.) I can “pass” for a woman in my early fifties. I have “exaggerated” a bit with men, even women for that matter. Some agree, others think I’m being vain. We were wondering what you think. — Still Sizzling in San Diego MARNIE SAYS: How fortunate we women aren’t trees. The rings around my neck alone could assure me a place in the Petrified Forest National Park. Personally, I’ve always found female age a befuddlement. Like those obsessive bears, we’re perpetually seen as either “too 66 SDJewishJournal.com | October 2019

young” or “too old.” I’m convinced there’s a three-week period (age 27 —April 21) when we’re “just right.” (Of course that’s when you get the zit.) Onto “youthening.” Much like a successful souffle, “youthening” requires good sense and timing Getting It! Our Personal Strategy: YOUTHENING: DON’TS *Don’t do the line, if you can’t hide the time. (Who am I, Emily Dickinson?) If you say you’re 50, make sure your son doesn’t leave his Medicare card on your kitchen counter when he visits. *If you have to cover your tail with more than one tale, you’ll fail. Between licenses, certificates, diplomas, your BFFs, he’ll find out eventually. *Don’t malinger if you want a ring on your finger. (Slap me.) Sorry. I think somewhere before the “Hi! Wanna ride my Harley?” and “Wanna use my Senior Discount at Dentures ’R Us?” the fellow deserves the truth. And pssst … by now, he already knows anyway. YOUTHENING: DO’S *Do shush. There’s no need to say to a perfectly charming stranger: “Love the toupee. By the way, I’m 109.” With all the ignoble things we’re required to reveal these days, a woman of valor is entitled to her privacy while in the “just getting to know you” stage. *Do divert. Should “he” be so rude as to inquire, assume the basic look, wink, and say “How old do I look?” If he’s conscious, he’ll run from that line faster than a toxic waste dump. *Do leave room for the truth, which you move toward as things progress. By that time, the fellow will be so enchanted, so deeply enamored, he’ll see you as a superior woman who not only shares his experience but can share his sunset–in beauty–at any age. GREAT GRAN-BUBBE Dear Marnie: My great-bubbe is 94 and very

active for a woman her age. For example, she’s constantly involved with all of us–calling, visiting, and advising. When a grandchild or great-grandchild has a birthday, or on holidays, she insists on giving each a check. She has enough money to keep her comfortable, but she’s on a fixed income (which our parents help subsidize). Giving us checks is just ridiculous! How do we get her to stop? She’s stubborn and refuses to listen to us when we tell her to enjoy her money and spend more on herself!–Bubbe’s Shayna Maidel. MARNIE SAYS: That my Shayna, is because this is and should be about how she feels. She cares about your protests or uncashed checks? No. Let’s find out what busy Bubbe does care about. Getting It! Your Personal Strategy: Respect! Dignity! And Staying Put. She’s Grand Bubbe, the Macherette, the Empress of the Mishpuchah. She’d rather face down a pork loin than give up that exalted place as the Matriarch with the Mostess (even if your parents’ gelt is doing a U-turn back to you). Honey, the bubbe’s lived through Ellis Island, WWII, the Hoovers (Herbert and J. Edgar)– and those hideous poodle skirts. She knows her “job.” And in her book, grannies give gelt (money). *Quit worrying. Granny can’t afford not to “give.” *Here’s what I’d do. Cash the checks, save them–and celebrate her. But do it in a way she can accept (read: don’t “oldlady” her). Hold a special Great Bubbe Gala! Make it a rip-roaring testimonial to her–with gifts. The challenge is to honor her as the matriarch while gifting her with things she doesn’t give herself to gelt you. Finally, tell yourself that she is enjoying herself. Now all you need do is let her.A

SYNAGOGUE LIFE EVENTS Apple Picking at Julian Farm and Orchard with Temple Adat Shalom

Oct. 6, 9:30 a.m. to 12 p.m., 4381 Highway 78, Santa Ysabel, CA 92070 Temple Adat Shalom family and friends can enjoy a hay ride, petting zoo, pumpkin patch, cider pressing, and candle dipping for $15 per person. Visit adatshalom. com for more information.

San Diego, CA 92122 Take part in a behind-the-scenes tour that reveals littleknown facts about Beth Israel’s campus and takes the mystery out of the ritual items found in the sanctuary. Visit cbisd.org for more information.

Remembering Jonas Salk – The Shot Felt ’Round the World

Oct. 27, 7 p.m., 6660 Cowles Mountain Boulevard, San Diego, CA 92119 As part of the Men’s Club speaker series, Tifereth Israel will host Peter Salk, who will speak about his father Jonas Salk, the researcher who developed the polio vaccine. Tickets are $10. Visit tiferethisrael.com for more information.

Chocolate Shabbat with Temple Solel

Oct. 11, 6 p.m., 3575 Manchester Avenue, Cardiff, CA 92007 Charlotte Ida Tubis Memorial Scholar in Residence Rabbi Deborah Prinz will discuss the connections between Judaism and chocolate. Listeners will be treated to an Oneg. Visit templesolel.net for more information.

DayTimers Speaker Series: Jonathan Schwartz “Aging in the 21st Century”

Oct. 17, 1 p.m. to 2:30 p.m., 9001 Towne Center Drive, San Diego, CA 92122 YOUR ATTENTION IS Jonathan REQUESTED 24 HOURS. At Congregation Beth Israel, SchwartzWITHIN will explainyou whatfor canyour be done to facilitate successful aging. Thank business. Consider us for all of your Life Cycle events! Tickets are $5 with RSVP, $8 without. Visit cbisd.org for • Bar/Bat Mitzvah • ShaBBat Dinner • KiDDuSh • BriS • BaBy naMing • WeDDing more information.

Sukkot Dinner & Symposium with Congregation Beth El

Oct. 17, 6:30 p.m. to 9 p.m., 8660 Gilman Drive, La Jolla, CA 92037 Join Beth El for a communal dinner in the Sukkah, then join in for this year’s Sukkot Symposium: New and Not So New Anti-Semitism. Cost is $25 per adult. Visit cbe.org for more information.

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Women’s Festival Art Series with Congregation Beth El Oct. 20, 10 a.m. to 2 p.m., 8660 Gilman Drive, La Jolla, CA 92037 Learn how to create folded and sewn books from visiting artist Joanne Steinhardt. A $38 fee will fund participants’ art materials. Visit cbe.org for more information.

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“The jokes land with clockwork regularity.”

OCTOBER 23 – NOVEMBER 17 DIRECTED BY JEFFREY B. MOSS The late Neil Simon continues to reign as America’s favorite playwright. THE SUNSHINE BOYS showcases his brilliant ear for sidesplitting dialogue and his sharp eye for physical comedy. Yet, beneath the raucous laughter are two vulnerable people struggling to make sense of their lives. Simon’s memorable characters are endearing and profoundly touching.

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THE DELIGHTFUL ROMANTIC ADVENTURE

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