LGBTQ San Diego County News October 2023 Volume 4 Issue 25

Not your grandpa’s Kiwanis club

his undoing because he had the damaged vehicle repaired. Janik gave a conflicting story about how the car was damaged and even filed a claim with his car insurance company to pay for the damages, according to court records.

Janik was not arrested until Sept. 5 by San Diego Police in the 3800 block of Seventh Avenue in Hillcrest). He is also charged with hit-and-run with death, and driving under the influence of alcohol with a prior DUI conviction in 2016.

Additionally, he is charged with two counts of presenting a false insurance claim five days after the incident, on June 15, when he had his car repaired, according to court records.

Arrest in hit-and-run tragedy that felled local bartender

by Neal Putnam

An alleged hit-and-run driver accused of killing Cheers bartender Joshua Gilliland has been charged with second-degree murder and gross vehicular manslaughter while intoxicated.

It is unusual for a hit-and-run driver to be charged with murder, but court records show the defendant, Brandon Allen Janik, 37, has been convicted of drunk driving before.

In California, a second DUI is a felony on its own, and if a driver kills someone with a second DUI, the law assumes “implied malice” since the driver knew the dangers. “DUI Murder” became an option after a 1981 California Supreme Court case People v. Watson. Prosecutors also like to argue a second DUI shows a pattern of behavior.

40th anniversary!

By Morgan M. Hurley, editor Times,

they are a-changin’.

As the headline states, the two-year-old Kiwanis Hillcrest AllInclusive is not your grandfather’s club; it is a group that accepts literally everyone, and that has definitely not always been the case.

Founded in 1915 by two men in Detroit, Michigan, Kiwanis’ membership grew to more than 100,000 in just over 10 years and was – you guessed it – all-white males. Membership outside of the US and Canada wasn’t approved until 1962, and it wasn’t until 1987 that women were accepted into the membership.

While there is no specific religious affiliation with Kiwanis, until recently, someone from the LGBTQ community being openly and officially included in the membership was unheard of, which still seems counter to the reason Kiwanis exists in the first place when you consider that their “defining statement” (according to Wikipedia) is “Kiwanis is a global organization of volunteers dedicated to improving the world, one child and one community at a time.”

See KIWANIS page 4

TWO NOTABLE ANNIVERSARIES

In late September, two local bars, Flicks and The Rail, invited the community to celebrate their anniversaries.

Attorneys made no arguments for bail for Janik when he was arraigned on Sept. 7, so San Diego Superior Court Judge Theodore Weathers declined to set any bail for him.

Gilliland, 47, was struck on June 10 in a marked crosswalk as he was walking to work at 8:46 pm at the three-way intersection of El Cajon Boulevard, Park Boulevard, and Normal Street (See “Finishing Josh’s Walk,” Vol. 4, Issue 19, or online at lgbtqsd. news/finishing-joshs-walk).

Gilliland was knocked unconscious and suffered from a brain bleed with a head wound. He died four days later in a hospital from head trauma.

Janik is believed to have fled the scene in his 2022 BMW, which turned out to be

“We haven’t discussed the facts of the case yet and there is still an investigation ongoing,” said Deputy District Attorney Laura Evans. “Given the investigation thus far, [it] shows he was impaired for the purposes of driving.”

Details about the case were not discussed in the arraignment and a preliminary hearing was set for Nov. 15. Because that date is close to Thanksgiving, it may be delayed.

Janik has pleaded not guilty. He lived in North Park and worked at Whole Foods in Hillcrest. He remains in the George F. Bailey Detention Facility without bail.

KFMB-TV (Channel 8) reporter Keristen Holmes interviewed Lisa Kogan, a friend of Gilliland, who said there were “some Good Samaritans” who noticed Janik before the crash and observed he was intoxicated. She said they called 911 because they feared he would get into his car.

Flicks celebrated its 40th anniversary with a 1983-themed party on Friday, Sept. 22, that included performances, food, and a hosted bar for a portion of the evening. A representative from Mayor Todd Gloria’s office stopped by to present a proclamation declaring that day to be “Flicks Day in the City of San Diego,” and Councilmember Stephen Whitburn’s office also presented a special recognition. Flicks is open seven days a week and has daily happy hour, trivia, karaoke, sports watch parties, and dancing, drag and DJs at night.

The Rail is San Diego’s oldest LGBTQ-bar still in operation, founded in 1934 in downtown San Diego. On Sunday, Sept. 24, the venue celebrated its 89th anniversary with a special evening celebration. Originally called The Brass Rail, the bar was not originally opened as a gay bar, but began to attract an LGBT clientele decades ago. The bar moved to Hillcrest in the 1970s and has been a popular spot for all sorts of events since, including drag shows, dance parties, and their well-known Latin-themed night, Sabados En Fuego.

Of note, the bar was recently sold to Urbano Pelicon and his

Photo of the intersection where Josh was killed. Signs are from a vigil held for him. (Photo by Eddie Reynoso)

“They realized the guy was drunk, told him not to drive,” Kogan said in the interview. “Unfortunately, no [police] units were able to come. Paramedics and firemen were then called.

“Once the emergency services people left, he got back in his car,” Kogan continued. “So, this was something that was preventable.”

Kogan was interviewed by Channel 8 after Janik’s arraignment. Of Gilliland, she said he was “just a sweet, gentle and kind soul.”

A celebration of Joshua Gilliland’s life was held on July

BRIEFS

business partner Isaac Vargas, marking the first time in its storied history that the bar has been gay-owned. Pelicon says a much larger celebration will be held next year to mark the bar’s 90th anniversary and has hinted at possibly reverting back to the establishment’s original name, The Brass Rail.

PARLOR ON FIFTH X MNEMONIC COFFEE

A popular Bankers Hill barber shop recently moved into a new location in the heart of the neighborhood and will share its space with Mnemonic Coffee. This partnership has already enhanced the space to become a community gathering place for those seeking barbering services or who just want to enjoy a hot or cold beverage.

preparation, espresso extraction, milk frothing, latte art, and coffee machine maintenance.

Both businesses hosted a grand opening celebration in their shared space on Friday, Sept. 29. They are located at 2604 Fifth Ave. Book an appointment with Parlor on Fifth at parloronfifthbarbershop. com. View Mnemonic’s menu at mnemonic.coffee.

INSIDEOUT PRESENTS

FALL POP-UP THEME

InsideOUT, an upscale LGBT owned and operated bar and restaurant located in the atrium of the Eitol Towers (the big tall red condos) at the corner of University Avenue and Centre Street, is currently presenting “Enchanted Oasis Experience” through Nov. 5.

sustained in an anti-gay attack. His death sent shockwaves across the nation and showcased the hate that members of the LGBTQ community faced every day on a broader stage.

To honor the 25 years that have passed since his death, the Kiwanis Club of Hillcrest AllInclusive, @HillcrestSanDiego, and members of the former San Diego Remembers organization will host a memorial vigil on

8 in Hillcrest. He worked at Cheers for 21 years after moving to San Diego from Kansas in 2001 with his longtime friend Scott M oore.

There was a vigil on June 15 to “finish Josh’s walk,” in which 100 people attended to draw attention to the intersection where he died, which many describe as dangerous.

The investigation is still active and SDPD requests that if you have any information about the case, reach out to the department at 619-531-2000. If you prefer to remain anonymous, contact Crime Stoppers at 888-580-8477.

–Neal Putnam is a local crime reporter. You can reach him at neal.putnam@gmail.com

Parlor on Fifth opened three years ago in a restored neighborhood barbershop and its recent move put them on the ground floor of a brand new highrise. The shop offers a variety of professional grooming services, and is committed to a culture of inclusivity. Parlor on Fifth is gay-owned with all of its staff either being a part of or allies to the LGBTQ community.

Mnemonic Coffee calls itself a coffee and zero-proof drink space, offering a variety of coffees, teas, and zero-proof cocktails. They also offer a fee-based barista training program, which provides hands-on and interactive training sessions to teach participants about coffee

The InsideOUT team started working large-scale pop-up themes into their decor for each season in 2022. Last Christmas they had a winter wonderland experience with “snow” falling every 15 minutes; in the spring they had massive and brilliant pink and white apple blossom trees; and the current experience includes animated butterflies and mushrooms so large and beautiful that Alice in Wonderland comes to mind. They also have a special cocktail menu to match the theme. You must be 18 and older to enter and reservations are for two hours only. For more info and reservations, visit insideoutsd.com.

REMEMBERING MATTHEW

SHEPARD, 25 YEARS LATER

Matthew Shepard died on on Oct. 12, 1998, from injuries

Thursday, Oct. 12, from 5:30-6:15 pm at the John Wear Hate Crimes Memorial Plaque in Hillcrest.

Local activists Benny Cartwright and Rick Cervantes first began memorializing Shepard locally on Oct. 12, 2008, to honor the 10 year anniversary of his death. That year, they placed a candle, a purple ribbon, and a poster of Shepard’s image around the John Wear plaque as a small tribute to be sure his life was not forgotten.

See BRIEFS page 15

Friends gathered at Cheers after “finishing Josh’s walk” on June 15. (Photo by Eddie Reynoso)

FROM PAGE 1 ARREST

FROM PAGE 1

‘Dress to impress’

THE PINK GALA HONORS STEPPING STONE’S LEGACY OF SERVICE TO THE LGBTQ RECOVERY COMMUNITY

By Benny Cartwright

Stepping Stone San Diego, a non-profit alcohol and drug recovery agency for the LGBTQ community, is hosting its annual gala celebration this month, The Pink Gala, and the organization has a lot to celebrate.

Taking place on Friday, Oct. 20, at the Broadway Pier, The Pink Gala is Stepping Stone’s signature annual fundraising event that will include dinner, drinks, entertainment, and a lot more. Plus, attendees are encouraged to don their best pink outfits!

THE CENTER’S 50TH ANNIVERSARY GALA PROMISES ‘A JOURNEY OF EMOTIONS’

by Morgan M. Hurley, Editor

The San Diego LGBT Community Center will be celebrating 50 years of serving the local LGBTQ community and being a beacon of safety and support for those just coming out, navigating their twilight years, and everyone in between.

Organizers say they expect the gala – planned for Saturday, Oct. 14 at longtime host the Hilton San Diego Bayfront – to draw 1,000 attendees, some who have supported The Center’s efforts since the very beginning.

Organizers say they expect to draw 1,000 attendees to the gala – planned for Saturday, Oct. 14, at longtime host the Hilton San Diego Bayfront – some who have supported The Center’s efforts since the very beginning.

Starting with Jess Jessop and just a handful of volunteers answering a single telephone in a closet, to the current organization that boasts 35 senior managers, directors and executive staff; an additional 69 full-time employees; 546 volunteers; 10 board members; six physical locations; and an operating budget of $32.3 million (according to their June 2022 annual report); it is safe to say the original “Gay Center” has certainly evolved “out of that closet” over these last 50 years.

Ian Johnson, senior director of development, has evolved right along with The Center, as he began with the organization nearly 20 years ago. He started out as an AIDS Walk San Diego (AWSD) volunteer while still working as a server at Martinis Above Fourth. In 2007, he took a job as “teams coordinator” for AWSD, still juggling his job at Martinis.

“I was content with my restaurant job and honestly thought I would be in the service industry forever,” he continued, saying it was former CEO Delores Jacobs and Donnie Luehring who coaxed him into the position.

“By 2012, things just shifted in my life and I joined The Center as

a full-time permanent employee as a special events associate,” he said. “I started as an entry level position and have done nearly every position in my department, which I’m thankful for.”

Gus Hernandez, The Center’s senior director of communications and marketing, joined in 2021, but said there’s been a lot of change in just his two short years on staff and that he sees the gala as a vehicle to “envision what the future holds” for the region’s LGBTQ community.

Johnson, Hernandez, and the entire Center team have been working on plans for the gala for the last six months and Hernandez’ enthusiasm was evident.

Specific honorees include Dr. Delores Jacobs, the former CEO, as well as The Center’s Stonewall Society Members, and they ask that if you plan to put The Center in your estate plan, to let them know. After the program, the event will open up for a “lively dance party,” where attendees can celebrate the night away.

“The evening is going to take community members through a journey of emotions,” Johnson said. “We will share beautiful moments of community members being interviewed from different parts of the past 50 years and the impact The Center has had on them. There are going to be beautiful nods to our history and we will get an exciting look into The Center’s future that community members can get excited about.

“This isn’t just The Center’s celebration,” Johnson continued. “It is our community’s celebration, a celebration of everyone who made The Center what it is today.”

Andrew Picard, who took over as executive director of Stepping Stone in April, following the retirement of longtime leader Cheryl Houk, said this year’s Pink Gala holds special significance as the organization celebrates 47 years of service to the LGBTQ+ community.

“This is a chance to reflect on our incredible journey, during which we’ve saved countless lives of LGBTQ+ community members struggling with addiction and in need of our health services and support,” Picard told LGBTQ San Diego County News. “In fact, Stepping Stone stands as one of the few LGBTQ+ specific addiction recovery and mental health nonprofits in the entire country, and that’s something we’re extremely proud of.”

The evening will also give supporters a chance to meet and hear from Picard who will give remarks from the stage at what will be his first Pink Gala in his new role.

continued growth and impact for the community,” Houk said.

Picard said that his first six months on the job have been a whirlwind of “learning, passion, progress, and endless support from our incredible team, Board members, and community.”

“It’s been such a privilege to lead this organization and continue its legacy of service,” he said. “I’ve been truly humbled by the warmth, talent and dedication of our staff, supporters and the and the entire LGBTQ+ family in San Diego. We’re on an exciting path of growth and inclusion, and I’m looking forward to the journey ahead.”

Picard said that Stepping Stone has a great future ahead of it, and fundraisers like The Pink Gala are critically important tools for the organization to carry out its mission.

“We have an action-packed evening planned,” he said.

“From the moment you step into the Gala, you’ll unmistakably know you’re in the right place to celebrate our community’s joy and power.”

The Center’s last gala celebration (45) was in 2017. This year’s milestone event will be held in the Hilton’s newly renovated Indigo Ballroom and Terrace, with panoramic views of San Diego Bay.

”There will be plenty of photo opportunities, so be sure you’re dressed to impress,” Hernandez dished.

The gala’s itinerary starts with a reception on the terrace with music, beverages and hors d’oeuvres, before a seated dinner inside the ballroom. The official program is set to honor “the many struggles and triumphs that got us to where we are today as one of the most impactful and dynamic LGBTQ centers in the country.”

Johnson also shareds that in the runup to this “historic” event, he’s been reflecting on photos from the 1970s, ’80s and ’90s, and how important the founders and early supporters of The Center through those years were, many who have since been lost to AIDS or the passage of time.

“They didn’t have the opportunity to continue building The Center, growing it to serve more community members,” Johnson said. “It’s an honor to think that I have played a part in what they dreamed of in the early days, and I am now part of a talented and dedicated Center team living out their dre ams.”

The Hilton San Diego Bayfront is located at 1 Park Blvd. To purchase tickets or tables for the gala, sponsor a table, make a donation, or RSVP to watch the free online broadcast of the event, visit thecentersd.org/Gala/. Act soon, registration closes Oct. 12.▼

“Stepping Stone’s work is saving the lives of our LGBTQ+ family members,” Picard said. “And for so many of us, we are forced to create our chosen family from within our community. This year’s Pink Gala is my first time attending, so it feels like an official welcome and incredible opportunity to connect with all the wonderful people who support Stepping Stone and who make our community so filled with love and support. It’s going to be a night filled with fun, unity, and a whole lot of pink sparkle.”

Being in the executive director role for just about six months, Picard said he sees it as a true privilege to be a gay man leading an organization with such an incredible legacy.

Picard is proud to follow in the footsteps of former CEO Houk who was well-known and beloved by many throughout the LGBTQ and recovery communities. Houk served as executive directors during two separate stints which combined totalled 25 years at the helm.

Upon the announcement of Picard’s appointment last April, Houk shared her confidence in his leadership.

“Andrew Picard’s history of national coalition building and public policy thought leadership demonstrates he is a strong leader and visionary for Stepping Stone’s essential commitment to

“Our mission has never been more crucial as we continue to provide intensive residential treatment, outpatient support, housing and sober living, mental health and therapy resources to our LGBTQ+ community,” Picard said. “The demand for our services increases and especially considering the alarming statistics in San Diego County. Last year, we witnessed over 1,400 overdose deaths in our county, highlighting the pressing issue of drug addiction. Growing our funding and growing our impact will allow us to expand our treatment beds, expand recovery facilities and programs and save more lives.”

Primarily serving the LGBTQ community, Picard said it is important that an organization like Stepping Stone exists to recognize the community’s unique challenges, especially in the recovery space.

“[Members of the LGBTQ+ community] are five times more likely to be diagnosed with substance use disorder and five times more likely to suffer from suicide,” Picard said. “This underscores the urgency of our work. As we move forward, we are committed to expanding and increasing our services to meet the needs of our community.

A group of employees stand outside of The Center’s main building. (Courtesy The San Diego LGBT Community Center)

”There will be plenty of photo opportunities, so be sure you’re dressed to impress,”

-Gus Hernandez

Andrew Picard, Executive Director of Stepping Stone. (Courtesy Photo)

Their focus on children attempts to instill a service mindset at a young age; K-Kids (elementary school), Builder’s Club (middle school), Key Club (high school) and Circle K (college) are all Kiwanis-related groups that strive to develop kids into lifelong Kiwanis members as adults.

Current president of the Hillcrest All-Inclusive group, Benny Cartwright, was one of those kids, but he eventually learned it didn’t include him as an openly gay young man.

A San Diego native, his Kiwanis link was the GrantvilleAllied Gardens club near his home. He spent three years in Builder’s Club, and said he “naturally” joined Key Club at Patrick Henry High School, where he was club president two years in a row.

They did things such as trash cleanups (that’s a familiar past time of his still today), planting trees at Lake Murray, reading to elementary school kids, selling concessions at sports games, working the annual Christmas tree lot in Allied Gardens, and attending Key Club conventions across the state.

“We also had a fantastic faculty advisor who I became really close to and was very supportive of me through high school,” Cartwright said. “It really gave me a great background in leading meetings and just being a leader. I don’t think I give enough credit to that experience

and its impact on my leadership development.”

During these years, he also often attended the weekly 7 am breakfast meetings of the adult Kiwanis club, rubbing elbows with the adults, and he still remembers the “old school” traditions of the club (pledge of allegiance, singing songs from a Kiwanis songbook at the beginning of the meeting, members being fined for not shaking the hand of a “secret greeter,” etc.). Women’s membership had been approved for five years when Cartwright first got involved, but he remembers they weren’t treated well by the male membership.

“By the time I got to college at SDSU, I naturally joined the Circle K Club and because SDSU is in the same general area as my junior high and high school, [my home Kiwanis Club] also sponsored the Circle K, so it was a very natural, comfortable transition.” he recalled.

“But I had just recently come out as gay and became really active in the LGBT community at SDSU – which really changed the trajectory of my life and much of that work is the reason why I am where I am today.

Kiwanis didn’t feel like a fit anymore. I hadn’t ever been openly gay to all the Kiwanians who had seen me grow up through junior high and high school and I honestly didn’t know how they would react to that. As I got more and more visibly involved with LGBT activism, I no longer felt comfortable and dropped out of Circle K. I had no reason to believe either way that the Kiwanians of that time

would not have accepted me as a gay young man, but it was a very different time, and I just did not know.”

We all know what Cartwright has been doing since, but fast forward to 2020 in the middle of the pandemic.

Cartwright said his first friend in Builder’s Club, John Crawford (who has since become a lifelong Kiwanis member) had tried for years to get him back involved as an adult, but Cartwright’s efforts were obviously focused elsewhere. Then a new classification of Kiwanis had been established in an attempt to boost its declining membership: All-Inclusive.

Crawford, as a Lt Governor in charge of the region (division 21), wanted to create an All-Inclusive group and felt Cartwright and Hillcrest were sure bets. Zoom calls took place, and other members of the LGBTQ community who had Kiwanis backgrounds began to join the calls; Gina Roberts, former president of Log Cabin Republicans, and Neill Kovrig, who was very involved in America’s Finest City Softball League and other organizations.

After much outreach and planning, they got enough people to form a club and were chartered on June 14, 2021, with Kovrig as president.

Since their launch, they’ve been meeting every other Thursday night (no 7 am breakfasts for this club!) in the back room at Uptown Tavern and have grown from 13 members to 25. They are the fourth largest in the district with regards to growth.

During their twice monthly meetings they take care of business, share Kiwanis and community news, listen to the guest speaker, raise a little money with fun, interactive ways to keep members involved, plan future service opportunities, and network. Outside of the meetings, they’ve taken on various projects, including putting up the US flags throughout the neighborhood on official holidays (something the recently disbanded Lions Club had always done), and helping with already established projects (Boo Bash, children’s area at CityFest, Nightmare on Normal Street, etc.). Cartwright said they hope to launch some of their own annual events soon.

Something the greater Kiwanis groups are known for is an annual pancake breakfast, which raises money for their causes. Cartwright said he is considering a twist on that theme that would be the perfect fit with the Hillcrest club: a drag pancake breakfast with mimosas!

One thing is for sure, however, Kiwanis Hillcrest All-Inclusive has committed to making trans kids their focus. Kiwanis has a saying, “kids need Kiwanis,” and the Hillcrest All-Inclusive group has adopted the hashtag, #transkidsneedKiwanis.

Kovrig, who led the group for the first two years as president, was previously affiliated with Kiwanis in Rancho Bernardo and got connected through his mother’s involvement. He now has two roles, “past-president” of the Hillcrest group and he was also recently voted Lt. Governor of the 21st division of the California-Nevada-Hawaii district

of clubs, which oversees Hillcrest and eight other Kiwanis groups in central San Diego.

During their last meeting, Kovrig turned over the bell and gavel to Cartwright, telling attendees “You’re not getting rid of me.” He plans to continue attending the bi-weekly meetings when he can.

They are looking for more members, so if you are wanting an opportunity to give back to your community, this could be it.

“I want everyone who wants to get involved to experience this. If it turns out Kiwanis isn’t right for them, we’ll help them find something else – we’re connected to everyone!” Cartwright said. “We really are the happening club in the neighborhood right now and I invite anyone and everyone to check it out.”

To learn more, start following them on Instagram at @ kiwanisLGBTQ and pop into their next meeting, which will be Thursday, Oct, 12, 6:30 pm at Uptown Tavern in Hillcrest.

—Morgan M. Hurley is the editor-in-chief of this newspaper. You can reach her at editor@ lgbtqsd.news.▼

Lt. Governor Neill Kovrig (Courtesy Photo)

Founding members of the Kiwanis All Inclusive Club (Courtesy Photo)

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Why “Just Say No” to tobacco fails LGBTQ+ communities

by Ryan Oda

Yellowing teeth. Wrinkling skin. A dry as hell cough. We’ve all seen the ads showing the dangers of smoking cigarettes. In school, teachers would pass out red ribbons and “D.A.R.E.” us to be drug-free. “Just Say NO” still lingers in my brain to this day.

We’ve also seen at least one person close to us who has smoked a cigarette, had one too many shots of alcohol, or used some other form of substance to cope with the stresses of daily life. With the FDA declaring youth vaping an “epidemic” in 2018, it is clear that the scare tactics didn’t work. What schools didn’t teach us as kids is truly how stressful and hard being an adult (or even a kid for that matter) is and just how easy it can be to turn to a substance such as tobacco to ease your stress … especially if you are LGBTQ+.

September was National Recovery Month, and anyone on the road toward recovery from a substance addiction should be applauded. What many people get wrong about addiction is the belief that it is a matter of choice. I draw parallels between the experiences of queer people finding ways to cope in our hatefilled world, and the experiences of one of my family members who became addicted to alcohol during the 2008 recession.

This family member’s addiction to alcohol was as much of a choice as they had in losing their job. It was as

much of a choice as their parent, who abused them growing up. An addiction to tobacco is as much of a choice as it is to be discriminated against for being queer.

I had the (dis)pleasure of recently attending the Orange Unified School District (USD) Board meeting where they passed a forced outing policy that will undeniably put trans and nonbinary students at increased risk for homelessness and depression.

The disgusting display of bigotry from the MAGA supporters and Proud Boys who shouted to the top of their lungs “groomers” made me thankful that I wasn’t a teenager who is just discovering my own identity at an Orange USD school. It was ironic to see so many people who said to the board that they wanted to “protect our kids” all the while supporting a policy that had the potential to increase teen smoking, suicide and depression.

A study by the Trevor Project showed that queer youth who had at least one accepting adult were 40% less likely to report a suicide attempt in the past year.

One of the tangible ways to cope in our community has been to rely on tobacco products.

The rush of nicotine can calm a headache … at least in the short term. Nicotine is a powerful drug that can make you feel more at ease and calm when you first start to use it. But as you become more and more

reliant on nicotine, your mind and body slowly grow more and more dependent on it, to the point where you can’t function without it.

For decades, tobacco companies have relied on this path toward nicotine to fill their pockets with cash. They know that many of us live with trauma because they relish in it by funding ads and Pride events to grow their queer consumer base. This targeting has led to dire consequences for our community. For instance, many doctors will postpone trans affirming care for people who smoke because tobacco can make it harder for the body to heal from surgeries.

We need to go beyond the “Just Say NO” rhetoric; we need systemic change. We need to do the actual work to address why people even start to use tobacco in the first place.

Increased LGBTQ+ rates of tobacco use is a symptom of larger, systemic issues. It is a lack of accessible mental health care, livable wages, and stable housing. We Breathe, a program of the LGBTQ+ Health and Human Services Network, aims to create system change and reduce tobacco’s place in LGBTQ+ lives.

Many of my peers, who are also working to eliminate tobacco from all Californian’s lives (or Endgame as it’s called), are trying to do so without the slightest idea of how to speak to queer people. We Breathe is working to change that. For more information on how to get involved with We Breathe, contact roda@healthaccess.org.

If you or someone you know is trying to quit using tobacco, call Kick It CA at 800-300-8086 or visit kickitca.org/quit-now to speak to a Quit Coach.

–Ryan Oda (he/him/his) is a We Breathe program coordinator with the California LGBTQ Health and Human Services Network.▼

Letters

Editor’s Note: We accept and encourage letters to the editor, and we curate our “letters” from emails, snail mail, Facebook, and comments on our website. However, we reserve the right to publish – or not to publish – any particular submission or comment, and if we do choose to publish, it does not mean that we align or agree with the writer’s position, intentions, assertions, or allegations.

The death of an ally

[Ref: “Southern California Shop Owner Murdered Over Pride Flag Dispute,” online at LGBTQSD.news at bit.ly/3PHHVpj]

I write to you today with a heavy heart, deeply moved by the senseless murder of Laura “Lauri” Ann Carleton, a vibrant and courageous small businesswoman, who fell victim to senseless violence due to her display of a Pride flag at her business. Now more than ever there is an urgent need for understanding, acceptance, unity, and an end to divisiveness and hate.

Lauri’s murder serves as a stark reminder that bigotry and intolerance still persist, even in our California communities. In the face of adversity and criticism for flying the flag, Lauri stood firm and she would say to friends, “This is the hill I’m going to die on. No one is going to make me take down that flag.”

Lauri’s tragic killing underscores the critical need to create an environment where no one should ever fear for their life when choosing to fly a Pride flag at their home or business. Everyone should have the freedom to express what they believe and who they love without fear of violence or retribution.

See LETTERS page 7

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FROM PAGE 6 LETTERS

As a County, we must work toward a future where stories like Lauri Ann Carleton’s are relics of the past, where displays of love and support are celebrated, rather than met with violence. I stand united with Hillcrest that the Pride Flag is a form of protected freedom of speech, enshrined by the Constitution. I join Lauri as an ally in proclaiming, “It is the hill I will die on, too.”

–Amy Reichert, candidate for San Diego County Supervisor (District 4), via email Community responds to the tile story

[Ref: “What happened to the tiles?,” Vol. 4, Issue 23, or online bit. ly/48AGSjI]

As I read this article, I was repeatedly reminded of stories of the construction of buildings, roads, etc., on top of African American graveyards across the country and the disappearance of their gravestones and the excuses for it in the name of “progress.” The insincerity of the CEO of San Diego’s LGBT Community Center seeps through the article like a blood stain. All she’s learned from law school and working with/for government agencies is fluency in Smilefuckese. Words like, “Honoring our rich history is an important part of our work to serve and support our LGBTQ community” are ashes in her mouth. Wrapping herself in the COVID Excuse Flag, echoing “we had to burn the village in order to save it,” trying to hide behind alleged “oohs” and “aahs” for what physically replaced the memorials to members of that community without whose financial contributions The Center and her job would not exist, and implicitly blaming the victims of her destruction for stupidly trusting The Center compounds her shame. If she genuinely cared, if she had any integrity, she would use some of the millions of dollars she poses for statues for, for raising to replace every tile. If not, she should resign. “Remember your roots, your history, and the forebears’ shoulders on which you stand.” –Marion

Wright

concerning the article he was writing.

It deeply saddens me that many of our family who donated tiles/bricks, especially the first 100, 20+ years ago have passed away. Many died from AIDS and/or old age, for some living those tiles are the only thing that was left of their memory, and that history with The Center has been discarded and is now lost. I believe The Center board of directors and CEO are responsible to take action and correct the horrible destruction of our community history. Please replace every single tile/brick that was removed and put them in a place of honor at The Center where everyone can view them.

My personal brick read:

Wendy Sue B Blessed

Be I needed my name to be remembered by our community

long after I have passed away. I chose these words carefully, as a subtle sign to those of non-Christian faith, that all faith and spirituality are welcome at The LGBT Community Center. As a Lesbian, Jewish, Wiccan, Dianic Pagan, it was important to me that we all felt blessed, safe, equal and represented in some small way. This Spiritual Blessing/Prayer/Intention that was given has been removed and needs to be replaced by those who decided to destroy it/them. For every tile/brick that was donated, there is an individual reason and memory behind its donation, that are now disrespected by those who decided to remove them from The Center.

For those who can no longer speak … –Wendy Sue Biegelsein, via LGBTQSD.news▼

Edelman

–Michael Bedwell, via LGBTSDQ.news

I was one of the first 100 people to donate a tile/brick during the first donation campaign to help “build The New LGBT Community Center brick by brick,” under the leadership of Scott Fulkerson. I was a regular volunteer at The Center beginning in 1984 and at the time worked two part time jobs, living paycheck-to-paycheck scrimping and saving to buy a tile/brick, because I wanted to be a part of the legacy of helping build The (new) Center.

I was never contacted by anyone representing The Center or its board of directors when the decision was made to remove the tiles/bricks from the walls. There was lots of publicity around the renovation of The LGBT Community Center during COVID and the reopening, though nothing concerning the tile/brick removal. I only learned about this happening when contacted by Benny Cartwright

Charity: Give from your heart

When I finally came to pitch my tent and call San Diego my home in 1989, I never imagined that I’d be given the opportunity to join so many concerned, loving and committed LGBTQ San Diegans working toward the good fight. Together we worked to improve people’s lives, from AIDS/HIV, getting medicine, hunger, housing, the elderly, youth, Trans people, and even protecting our history of those shoulders we all stand upon. We’ve also done our best to convince the rest of the world that we are human beings first and foremost.

I have been very proud to work and stand up for what is right, and to be compassionate with so many of you who have become my mentors, teachers, and just out-right, amazing friends. Over the past 34 years, many of these people have already left this world; and so many of you have made it a priority to ensure that their history is never forgotten, and that they will always be on the pages of our very own LGBTQ history books.

After my best friend Tino joined the many angels that we lost from AIDS/ HIV, I made a promise to find ways to get involved.

One of the first charities I was introduced to was the Imperial Court de San Diego, through the fundraisers they did at the Brass Rail. The Imperial Court system is one of the largest and oldest LGBTQ organizations in the world, with up to 70 chapters in Mexico, Canada, and the US, and it will turn 60 years old in 2024. It was Nicole Murray Ramirez who invited me to join the Imperial Court back in the very early 1990s, and I still belong to the Court to this very day.

To be honest with you, when I lived in San Antonio, we never had fundraising for anything regarding the LGBTQ community that I knew of, so I was never given the opportunity to join any kind of organization that would allow me to open my heart and mind to helping others like I was witnessing here in San Diego and it changed my life forever.

When I joined the Imperial Court, I learned about what this organization did and how they were very much in the forefront of raising so much money for the AIDS epidemic.

In those early days, it was our local drag performers who worked tirelessly, donating not only their time, but their money to make sure those suffering from that horrible death sentence would find comfort and help through the money being raised through their incredible talents and huge

hearts. Thank God our community members would attend these shows and purposely bring plenty of money to tip the entertainers, and it continues to this day.

Many of those performers were members of the Imperial Court, along with others who were local headliners in their own right. Sadly, many of them were dying of AIDS themselves, but never stopped raising money; they just kept giving back to help others living with AIDS until they couldn’t any longer, and I will always consider them heroes.

Today’s generation, unless they have followed the tragedy and sacrifices that so many of these individuals endured, will never understand what they suffered as they died from AIDS.

I must say, working in all the wonderful bars in our LGBTQ community gave me a window to see through and a door to walk through to understand what I

organizations that gave Tino and so many others a way to leave this earth as loved human beings who were shown comfort, inclusion, and compassion. There were other charity groups that I knew of back then, too, which included the San Diego LGBT Community Center (then known simply as “The Gay Center”), the Imperial Court, and food banks.

After Tino’s death, I learned about other all-volunteer organizations, like Mama’s Kitchen, which was established in 1990 by Laurie Leonard, after her brother died of AIDS in 1986. Laurie told me that it was her very good friend Michael Chadwick who had approached her to start cooking and delivering food to her friends that needed help to have a hot meal.

Laurie needed seed money, so she talked with Nicole Murray Ramirez who came up with

encounter in a day would be the volunteers delivering their food, who became instant friends. And sadly, sometimes it would be these same volunteers who would find their new friends dead when they arrived and then find themselves calling an ambulance to have them picked up from their homes. These were very depressing times in those early years as our brothers were dying every single day because of AIDS/HIV. It was a time of little information in the beginning, we all had no idea how it would interrupt our wellbeing or even if it would take our own lives.

We must not forget Auntie Helen’s, which fulfilled a different kind of need during those years, and was founded by Gary

It saddens me that so many younger people do not know or care to know about those times in our LGBTQ history. It was exhausting, watching the people we love die, trying to help and take care of those hanging on to survive as long as they could. Being discriminated against and shunned by friends, family, and even their own community, especially in the beginning. Having to rely on our own community to raise money for research, medicine, and anything that was related to AIDS. In many ways, the only good thing that came out of these horrible times was that we came together as a family more than ever before, helping one other in so many ways.

I learned, met, laughed and cried with so many people, many who were taken by the HIV virus that caused AIDS, but I also built lifelong friendships with those we shared by experiencing compassion together. Many tears flowed down hundreds of thousands of faces, including my own, as we shared those times dealing with people we loved who were dying every single day. Never will I ever forget those times in my life, and never will I ever stop sharing those times that affected so many people all over the world.

Honestly, it was also single handedly the most rewarding experience in my entire life. Knowing you made another

could and needed to do to get better involved.

The first real AIDS/HIV organization I was introduced to happened during the first week I had come to visit Tino. It was Being Alive. From their website: “Being Alive San Diego was founded in 1989 by HIV+ individuals who volunteered their time and talents to fill the need for support and empowerment in the HIV/AIDS affected community. Today, BASD is the largest, continually operating support service organization for people living with HIV/AIDS in San Diego County, improving the quality of life for more than 8,000 San Diegans affected by this disease. … Our clients are typically living in San Diego’s central region, 80% are living at or below the federal poverty level and 50% of our clients that receive peer counseling are 45 years or older.”

I would go along with Tino as he explained all the wonderful organizations that were helping him survive with food, toiletries, and rides to doctors’ appointments, just to name a few. I was so blown away with the amount of charity that was available to help so many. Remember there was no such help in San Antonio, so to see all this kindness and love gave me so much inspiration to do more to give back to the same

an idea to create “The Kitchen Cabinet Committee” with community members like Nicole himself and the Imperial Court de San Diego, Gene Burkard, Ben Dillingham, Darrell Edwards, Chris Shaw, Frank Sabatino, to name a few, who all donated $1,000 or more to help start this generous cause. Mama’s Kitchen still feeds people with life threatening diseases to this day.

Special Delivery began in 1991 by Ruth Hendricks, owner of The Huddle restaurant in Mission Hills. Their website says: “It all started when Scott (a regular customer at the Huddle, who had AIDS) failed to show up for his lunch one day. [Ruth] took action to help Scott and so many others like Scott. Ruth teamed up with a group of friends who helped prepare meals in The Huddle’s kitchen. They called the home delivered meals ‘Special Delivery.’” They, too, continue to this day feeding people with HIV and cancer who can no longer do it themselves.

These two organizations would deliver meals to literally hundreds of AIDS patients back then, and it was not just about the food; many of these individuals were alone because family and friends would not have anything to do with them because they were scared they’d catch the disease. Sometimes the only people the patients would

Cheatham, who named it after one of his aunts. It started in a one-car garage in July 1988, as a fluff-andfold laundry project to help one person with AIDS. It then took off and became an all-volunteer fluff-and-fold organization to help those who could no longer wash and fold their own clothes. From Auntie Helen’s website: “... four very important people entered Gary’s life and put Auntie’s on very positive footing. Joan Kroc (her husband, Ray Kroc, helped start McDonald’s), San Diego Mayor Maureen O’Connor, the mayor’s twin sister Mavoureen, and the distinguished community activist Ben Dillingham. These people helped open and financially support the store in North Park.

Auntie Helen’s was the first program of its kind, and is still the only one of its kind currently operating in the U.S. Auntie Helen’s was named as a National Point of Light by The White House in 1991. Auntie Helen’s has also received an Apostolic Blessing from His Holiness Pope John Paul II and has been awarded many state and local honors.”

human being feel wanted, loved, and accepted is truly the best gift one could ever receive. I encourage everyone to at least try it once in their life. It is never too late to get involved by helping others, especially those in your own community. Knowing you made someone else’s life better makes you a better person, as well.

Take the time to find a charity that means enough to make you feel good about giving back; believe me it is the best gift one can give themselves, but most of all change the life of someone who is scared, lonely and feels lost. A huge thank you to all those who have made a difference by giving of themselves before me, those that are now involved and those who will be in the future. You will help change the world around you.

These are the shoulders I stand upon.

–Big Mike Phillips is a local photographer, bartender, and longtime LGBT activist and fundraiser. You can reach him at bmsd1957@gmail.com. ▼

(clockwise from left) Big Mike and Shannon Wagner, longtime executive director of Being Alive; Empress Lala Too and Emperor Johnny Glenn-Ristow; Laurie Leonard, founder of Mama’s Kitchen, talks to reporters in front of an Auntie Helen’s laundry truck. (Photos courtesy Big Mike Phillips)

Body Shaming 101:

I’m ok with my body, I need you to be ok with it, too

A couple days ago, I was walking through Hillcrest, minding my own business, when someone I have known for many years approached me. He told me that he needed to get me a new shirt, and “one that is not size medium.” He then grabbed the back of my collar to check the size label and said “Oh … it’s already bigger than a medium. Yikes!”

His point in all of this, of course, was to mock my weight. I’ve known this person for over 20 years, so he knew me when most would have considered me a

“twink.” I was 50 pounds lighter than I am today and the fact that now, in my 40s, I carry around some extra weight, particularly in my belly area, is not lost on me.

And really, it’s no one’s business but my own. But I am going to open it up and share with you all today for the purpose of this column.

Weight and body image issues have always been a difficult issue in our society and particularly among gay men and I have written on this topic several times before. But one thing I have not really opened up about is my own body and how it has changed over the years and my own thoughts on my own personal weight loss and fitness journeys.

I grew up in this community. I was born and raised in San Diego and have been hanging out and active in the Hillcrest and LGBTQ communities since I was 17 years old – over 25 years now! Many people who have been around that long have seen me grow up and some just can’t comprehend that I am no longer a “twink.” I have heard some friends make cracks like “Where you’re clearly not a twink anymore” (pointing to my belly) or worse, people approaching me and saying things like, “Looks like you’ve been well fed!”

I am very aware of the things I need to do to maintain or get back to a healthier weight. I have

had no people of color on it and most of them did not even live in San Diego during the 1960s and 70s when our community really began to organize locally.

had multiple personal trainers over the years and have learned a lot from them and consult regularly with my doctor. I walk a lot and workout when I get the motivation. And while I am generally very healthy, I have seen that when I have a little more belly fat, my blood sugar numbers creep up toward that range that could become diabetes, my joints hurt more often, and I can be out of breath more often when I am active.

I was very thin my entire life until I hit about 37 years old. I used to be able to eat what I wanted, when I wanted and my weight never crept past 180 pounds, which is considered a healthy range for a 5’11” man.

Around the time I was 37, however, some traumatic things happened in my life (things I’m not prepared to get into today) and these traumatic things led to a domino effect of other traumatic things for a couple more years. I smiled through all of these rough times, continued my involvement in the community, and only my closest loved ones knew what was really going on wit h me. And these traumatic events led to bouts of depression -something I never acknowledged to myself until recently. For years, I have seen therapists and psychiatrists to make sure

all because I want everyone to know how serious I have always been about preserving our history and remembering our heroes.

October is LGBTQ History Month

As I have said so many times: “A community, indeed a movement, that does not know where it came from and whose shoulders it stands on does not really know where it’s going.” Yes, I believe God has blessed me to be alive today to be a witness to the growth and visibility of the two communities I love – the LGBTQ and Latino communities.

As I am now in my senior/ elder years, I have come to realize that more and more leaders/ activists from my generation are passing away regularly, and that in many ways, we are losing our history. These people and their contributions are being lost and yes, some people are writing our history who never lived it. Especially the community’s history from the 1950s through 1970s, and in some cases, these writers are changing our history.

Recently, I had a meeting with some City of San Diego officials to discuss the possibility of naming Hillcrest cultural or historic district and was very upset to learn that they were working on this with a committee that

Homosexuality was illegal in California until 1977. It was in the 1970s that our community began to organize and our first organizations were founded, including: Dignity San Diego (for LGBT Catholics), the Imperial Court de San Diego, the Metropolitan Community Church, San Diego Pride, and The Center. Our first LGBT publication that was distributed in the community was called The San Diego Son. The first gay bar hangouts included The Brass Rail, Bradley’s, and Babes. Almost all of the people who started these first organizations and businesses have passed on, several of them from AIDS.

Next year marks the 50th anniversary of our first San Diego Pride march/parade and the San Diego GLBTQ Task Force and I have made a commitment for a 2024 LGBTQ Historic Campaign Project to save our history and celebrate and remember our pioneers, trailblazers, and heroes.

I believe that our community’s Lambda Archives is, and has been, doing its best to preserve our history without much interest or support from the greater community, sadly. As many of you know, I am the founder of the San Diego LGBT Wall of Honor located in The Center’s auditorium, alongside the LGBT Veterans Wall of Honor. I am also the proud founder of the National LGBTQ Wall of Honor located inside the historic Stonewall Inn in New York City. I mention this

my mental health was in shape and to get treatment for what I thought was an anxiety problem. Whenever they asked questions related to depression, I knew deep inside me that I was not being honest with them. I didn’t want to admit, even to myself, that I might be feeling down and needed support.

This led to periods of inactivity and drinking more than I would like to on some occasions and weight started to pile up in my belly area. I didn’t think much of it at first, as I would then exercise and eat healthy for a few weeks and shed the pounds, but over time the pounds just started to add up.

I consider myself lucky, actually, because so far I have really only gained some belly fat (that “beer gut”) and no other issues. I haven’t gotten to a point where it’s caused any mobility issues and I can pretty much function like I always have. But even with a little protruding belly, people can be cruel. It makes me wonder how these people treat people with much bigger weight problems.

I recently started a new fitness and healthy eating/weight loss journey and am looking forward to the results. Some people love to post about their fitness journeys on social media as they want to have that community accountability -- and that is great.

For me, that’s not something I am comfortable with and I have my own supportive network that keeps me on track or reminds me when I get off track. But regardless, whether I’m on a fitness journey or not, it doesn’t matter.

The point of this column is a reminder to everyone; do not make unsolicited comments about anyone’s bodies or size, ever. Even the jokes like, “You look like you’re well fed” or “Are you growing a baby in there?” are not funny, in fact they’re c ruel.

I get enough comments from my mother and grandmother about my weight (whether I’m skinny or overweight – and they won’t change) so I don’t need it from anyone else. I’m obviously aware of my body’s dimensions at all times – I live in it every day -- and I don’t need your i nput.

I have always been confident in myself and I’ve heard a lot of nasty comments in my time -- but for some reason, this interaction a few days ago really got to me. Please don’t be that guy … just let everyone be!

Lots of love as always!

–Benny Cartwright is a longtime activist and community leader. Reach him at community@ lgbtqsd.news. Follow him on Instagram @BennyC80. ▼

I owe much gratitude to The Center, Dr. Delores Jacobs, the Imperial Court de San Diego, Chris Shaw, the late Ben Dillingham, and many bar and business owners who have supported my efforts locally.

In 2024, my San Diego LGBTQ History Book Project will also be officially launched and I will be working with some city officials to find a permanent location/ building for a San Diego LGBTQ History Museum. Our San Diego GLBTQ Historic Task Force 2024 Project will also include installing special historic markers at local LGBTQ historic landmarks. One of our most valued supporters is attorney Bruce Abrams who is a new member of the City of San Diego’s Historic Resources Board. We also have some major bar and business sponsors for next year’s project and camp aign.

If you are interested or have ideas or suggestions, or want to be a sponsor, please contact me at NicoleMrSD1@gmail.com or write to San Diego GLBTQ Task Force, c/o Nicole Murray Ramirez, PO Box 33915, San Diego, CA 92163.

I want to thank the many of who have been sending me your historic photos, posters, newspapers, and other items!

–Nicole Murray Ramirez is a lifelong Latino and LGBT activist and advocate, a longtime city commissioner, and is the Queen Mother of the International Imperial Court of the Americas. He can be reached at nicolemrsd1@gmail.com.

Halloween reminiscing

It’s that time of year again. The ghosts and goblins, witches and warlocks all come out to play. Have you chosen your Halloween costume yet? Are you going with a homemade or store-bought costume? Do you have party plans, or perhaps, Nightmare on Normal Street?

Nowadays, Halloween is bigger and better than ever, even in other countries. Here’s an interesting fact about Halloween: According to the Library of Congress website, Halloween has its roots in the Celtic celebration of Samhain, pronounced Sah-win. It was a time to celebrate the harvest. There were bonfires and people would dress up in costumes, supposedly to ward off ghosts and other evil spirits. The tradition was carried down through centuries morphing into our own American Halloween traditions.

Jack-o’-lanterns originated in Ireland, based on a story about a man named Jack and the devil. Originally, they were carved out of turnips. Scary costumes were worn so that people were not mistaken for evil spirits.

Pranking was another Celtic tradition called Devil’s Night. It is believed to have come from Samhain as well, but there is also history of similar Halloween activity in Scotland, and it seems to have been brought to America by the Irish and Scottish immigrants. Fun-spirited pranks were played on people two days before Halloween.

This is all the fun of Halloween. Due to our societal degradation, the Halloween of today is celebrated very differently in some places. When it comes to young children, trick-or-treating is a controlled community celebration to protect the kids. Many people still go out trick-or-treating and many neighborhoods here in San Diego and elsewhere go all out with amazing decorations. Take a drive some night and you’re likely to find some great Halloween neighborhoods in your area.

When I was a kid, good ol’ fashioned trick-or-treating really came into its own. The 1950s and ’60s were truly a fairytale time for kids. Most people went all out for every holiday and Halloween was no exception. And Halloween was my favorite holiday! Each year, my family went back and forth between homemade and store-bought costumes. I still remember the smell of our storebought costumes and masks. I would breathe it in and it would evoke memories of the fun I had the year before. It was a holiday that my mother allowed us all to be anything we wanted. Dressing up as anything I wanted to was the thrill of it for me.

Around the time I was 5 years old, my gender identity was pretty well established in my brain. The only problem was, no one would allow me to live my life as me. I was born a boy with a female body. I didn’t quite understand, but I knew who I was supposed to be. On all the other holidays, we had to dress up in our finest outfits. Unfortunately for me, that meant my mother forced me to wear dresses and hats and stupid shiny shoes named after some girl named Mary. Oh, how I hated those days. I was so uncomfortable trying to be a girl, and I was never very good at it. I was told to sit a certain way, walk the right way, be gentle, and not to roughhouse. It was no fun at all!

But every year, for one night, I got to be whoever I wanted. The possibilities, of course, were endless: pirate, cowboy, Indian, soldier, sailor, baseball player, and even maybe a ghoulish monster. I usually chose a costume that was as male as possible. Sure, there were times that my mother, bless her heart, tried to talk me into a princess costume, or the ballerina one, or something similar. But I prevailed, refusing stubbornly to even entertain those ideas. I was Daniel Boone, or Babe Ruth!

You see, for one day a year, I could show the world that I was truly a boy. In my mind, I thought that surely they would recognize that and make plans to set things right. Sadly, of course, that never happened -- one could only dream! Every Halloween, I was still thrilled to go around my neighborhood dressed as some male character. In that costume I felt comfortable, I felt safe, I felt strong and courageous. I felt like me.

It’s hard for cisgender people to understand exactly how we trans and non-binary folks really feel, but on Halloween at every door I knocked on, the treat giver would affirm me and make me feel so real when they said things like “Wow, what a great looking sailor,” or “You are an awesome cowboy,” or “I bet you are Daniel Boone!” These comments were

so sincere and I beamed with excitement. The candy was pretty cool, too.

I would see my friends and other neighborhood kids and, on that night, they seemed to sense that my costume was right for me. Running through the streets, whooping, and yelling, hiding and scaring the girls. I let myself out to play and took in the sheer joy of it all. Halloween was my night. When we were called in for the night, I would wear my costume until the very last minute before bedtime. As I sorted through my cache of goodies, trading with my sister for the good stuff, I would relive in my mind that night of being able to be me. I didn’t turn back into the kid pretending to be a girl until midnight. I wanted to soak up every minute of Halloween –knowing that the next day, it was back to dresses and those stupid shoes named after someone named Mary.

QT Tuesday

Don’t forget that every Tuesday night QT Tuesday is held at the Dojo Cafe in City Heights, located at 4350 El Cajon Boulevard. We always serve a free dinner and have some fun activities, like movie night, arts and crafts, speed friending and more. This month’s activities include preparing decorations to donate to the City Heights Día De Las Muertos festival, open mic and karaoke, and scary movie night with a screening of Fear Street Pt. III. Participants are also welcome to join their friends on the other side of the venue to relax and catch up.

Law Enforcement Meet and Greet

Last Friday, Oct. 6, we held a special meet and greet at the Dojo Café with our local LGBTQ liaison law enforcement officers. These officers are members of the LGBQ Community (no trans officers) who are here to assist community members with any issues, complaints, help reporting a crime, or just answer any questions you may have. The event was organized to give community members a safe place to meet the officers.

These folks are there for us and are helping to change the face of law enforcement for our community. Please reach out to me if you would like to get in touch with them or have questions about law enforcementrelated issues.

If you have any questions or feedback, please contact me at neon411@gmail.com.

–Connor Maddocks (he, him, his) is a Transgender activist, trainer, speaker, and advocate. You can reach him at neon411@ gmail.com. ▼

One year later

Houston we have a problem. It’s been one year since the red stain made its mark across my heart. One year of life lessons, heartaches, questions with no answers and trying to find myself among the wreckage. I’ve learned a lot about myself and still have a plethora of things to learn. Does one really know themselves after tying their identity to someone else for so long?

For those of you who don’t know, one of the main reasons this column exists was for me to just be vulnerable. I needed an outlet and a space to just call my own. I was in a relationship I found fulfilling for my life and one where my needs were met. But the person who I was with wasn’t happy. He wasn’t fulfilled and he certainly wasn’t honest with me about those feelings until I felt it was too late. When that honesty came, it left me reeling in a very dark mental state, which I couldn’t begin to explain. I spent my money, energy and tears to make the feeling go away. No amount of therapy or numbing the problem at the bottom of a tequila shot was going to make me feel whole. Therein lies the problem. I learned through the wreckage that I was always whole and a relationship should not be what defines me.

We recently talked about closure and my belief that no one but you has the answers you’re looking for. That also rang true for me during this inevitable heartbreak. I thought to myself for numerous months, “Am I that awful of a person to love?” I questioned my self worth and my ability to even love again. When people asked me regularly, “Are you okay?” I always answered, “No, but I will be.” The truth is I didn’t know the answer no matter how many times people told me they believed I’ll be just fine. I didn’t believe it.

At the heart of all of this, while I had to pick up the pieces of my life in the name of moving on, I also had to watch as he did so. I wasn’t silent for a time

but after a while I had to learn to cope because that’s the adult thing to do. Even if one object of his affection at one point or another gave me dirty looks in crowded spaces or decided to “Regina George” me at the club because she thought she’s an apex predator or something; I still was expected to hold my head high. Even when he unexpectedly came into one of my work spaces several times; I was expected to hold my head even higher.

Through these actions, I told myself that maybe I did deserve to feel so low, just so he could go on and search for his version of happiness; and in choosing to write this column maybe I’m living in victimhood. There were no score counts, just hurt feelings and trauma. But the reality of all of this is, him choosing how to live his life should not affect me. Living my life required sacrifice and growth that I wasn’t ready for and I learned that no one is ever ready to grow up, but learning how to heal is part of the growth.

So one year later I’m ready to tell myself that I never needed the relationship. I’m ready to say that I actually am doing okay. Even the moments that still feel a little shaky and I prefer someone would hold my hand through, I’m still reminded that a relationship isn’t the only thing I’m meant for.

I leaned on the friendships that I had curated and held onto, past and present (and the future ones that I will create), which helped me learn that I wasn’t alone in the ways I thought I was.

It was my chosen family that got me through it all, including the bartenders who gave me space, the therapist who challenged my worldviews, and the brother going through the same turmoil I was. I took these relationships for granted in the name of a love that didn’t exist but these relationships held me closer than I had experienced before.

When the earth shakes underneath you and you feel you’re about to crumble from the weight of it, how do you save yourself?

I decided that with all the hardships I was experiencing, to just let myself go because the version of me that existed to benefit someone else wasn’t worth mending my heart for. I previously referenced the story of Icarus, the boy who before burning out decided to reach for the sun. Icarus’ light went out but mine did not. Within the realms of mythology Phoenixes can rise from the ashes of what once was and although I am not a mythical creature, something better came out of the fire that was my life.

I learned that I can love myself better than another person can. To trust in myself when it feels safer not to. I decided to see

HILLCREST WIND ENSEMBLE AUTUMN CONCERT

The Hillcrest Wind Ensemble presents “Autumn Leaves,” on Saturday, October 21, at Linder Hall at the First Methodist Church of San Diego, located at 2111 Camino del Rio South, in Mission Valley. Under the guidance of Artistic Director Christian Tordahl, the ensemble will perform contemporary pieces evoking an autumnal feel. Music from Rodgers and Hammerstein’s “Oklahoma” will be a highlight of the evening, along with other, more reflective pieces.

The Hillcrest Wind Ensemble is a nonprofit 501(c)3 organization established in 1985 that supports itself through income from these concerts, as well as donations from sponsors and patrons.

In its 37th year of performing, the 45-piece ensemble was originally known as San Diego’s Finest City Freedom Band. It

was formed to bring music to the LGBT community as a marching band that also played concerts. Within the last 20 years, however, the band has evolved into an elite wind ensemble, playing more advanced music and with a new mission to entertain the ideal of diversity within their ranks, while promoting quality music to all of San Diego.

Tickets for Autumn Leaves are $25 and can be purchased on their website or at the door. Join members of the ensemble in the courtyard for complimentary hors d’oeuvres at 6 pm. Doors open at 6:30, and the concert begins at 7 pm. A bake sale featuring homemade desserts and beverages will be available at intermission. For more information or tickets, visit hillcrestwindensemble.com.

Senator Toni Atkins and Mayor Todd Gloria.

Stepping Stone is dedicated to addressing the epidemic of addiction and mental health issues in our LGBTQ+ community and to allies alike, and we’re determined to continue saving lives and making a positive impact.”

Tickets are still available for The Pink Gala on Friday, Oct. 20 and readers are encouraged to attend and support Stepping Stone’s work. Doors will open at 5 pm and valet parking will be available. The evening will begin with a cocktail reception including hors d’oeuvres on the Broadway Pier Pato. The event will also include a full dinner and a program that will begin at 6:45 pm featuring special remarks by

The event will also include a live auction, raffle prizes, opportunities to donate, and a live performance by singer Storm Large. There will also be awards presentations and special tributes. “It’s going to be an unforgettable night, and we’d love for your readers to join us,” said Picard.

More information about The Pink Gala can be found at steppingstonesd.org/pink where tickets can be purchased along with sponsorship opportunities.

–Benny Cartwright is a longtime activist and community leader. Reach him at community@lgbtqsd.news. Follow him on Instagram @ BennyC80.▼

limits isn’t fulfilling. Dreaming of a better tomorrow doesn’t change today, but I can still have hope.

more of the world and not limit myself to the boundaries of where I live. Above all else, even knowing that I have the capacity to love again, I’ve learned that just because I want something that’s out of reach, it doesn’t mean that I should reach for it unless it’s for the pursuit of my own happiness. Pushing my

One year later, I’m also ready to say the burden of truth is that several can exist at one time and the cost is your choice. Living in the past is a place that no longer exists and one I can’t afford. With so many questions I’ve posed for myself, do I at least finally have answers?

Who are you underneath the armor? What lessons have we learned? Is there a way to heal scars that don’t cause more? Does falling in love make you lose sight of reality? If everyone says the same harsh truth, was it ever really about you?

The answer I finally have to it all is just quiet the noise and allow yourself to reflect on the roads you’ve traveled and the new ones that lie ahead. I will never have the answers I wanted but I have the ones I needed.

One year later as a callback to all of my columns, I think of it all as love letters to myself and a reminder that I deserve to be loved the same way I give to others.

–Korie Houston is a local social justice advocate. Reach him at koriehouston@zoho.com.▼

FROM PAGE 10 HOUSTON

(Photo by Strawberry Corncakes @purechicvisions)

FROM PAGE 3 PINK GALA

What’s cookin’ in Lemon Grove?

Rarely do we see new restaurants emerge in Lemon Grove other than chains and fast-casual joints. But in the last month we’ve witnessed the arrival of Lemon Grove Bistro, located in a 1912 Mission-style building that long served as a community hub.

Open for lunch and dinner Tuesday through Sunday, the independently owned bistro is sleek and stylish. It specializes in American-European food, such as burgers and meatloaf sandwiches, mushroom ravioli and spaghetti with meatballs, paella and Scottish salmon, and a noteworthy beef bourguignon according to a couple of our trusty sources. Craft beer on draft and wine are also available. 3308 Main St., 619-373-8650, grovebistro.com.

The ‘portobello stack’ and other elegant fare in the heart of Lemon Grove (Courtesy Lemon Grove Bistro)

‘Jungled Out’

Craft House opens in Fashion Valley Mall

Brothers Caesar and Jose Huerta have opened their second location of Craft House in San Diego, replacing the former Counter Burger on the ground level in Fashion Valley Mall. The eating and drinking establishment carries a similar Tulum (Mexico) jungle theme seen at their original location at Sky Deck in Del Mar Highlands Town Center

The space features an 800-square-foot patio and a full bar that slings Mexican-inspired cocktails such as “tamarind painkillers” and “chocolate bliss martinis.”

Craft House’s credo is to use as many organic products from local artisans as possible.

Some of the menu items include Calabrian chili chicken wings, lobster rolls, short rib poutine, and grilled steaks.

The public is invited to the restaurant’s grand opening from 3 to 5 pm, Oct. 14. It will feature complimentary bites and cocktails. Those interested in attending must RSVP via email to alexis@blackxmarketing.com. 7007 Friars Road, Suite 347, 858-925-7067, crafthouseskydeck.com.

The latest sushi buzz in Hillcrest

Raves are pouring in over Makai Sushi, which recently replaced the long-standing Wine Lover on Fifth Avenue near Washington Street. The quaint, narrow space was taken over by restaurateur Matthew Oliver and his business partner Mariela Torres.

Oliver is a native of Kauai and ran a similar sushi eatery on the island until COVID-19 hit. He later moved to San Diego and also owns The Funky Lemon cafe in Mission Beach.

Makai, he explained, is a term used in Hawaiian dialect that means “in the direction of the ocean.” At his new eatery, he sources much of his seafood from local purveyors and from fishermen at the Tuna Harbor Dockside Market downtown.

“We’re breaking down whole fish here,” he pointed out while showing off a newly installed kitchen equipped for doing so.

The menu is concise. It features a handful of ahi poke bowls and sushi rolls capturing the ahi, blue crab, salmon or fresh veggies only. Sushi burritos are also in the offing along with chef specials.

Oliver and Torres gave the property’s exterior and interior a refresh using a mostly white color scheme with a Pride flag draped over a kitchen ledge. A redesign of the adjacent outdoor patio is still underway. 3968 Fifth Ave., 619-339-7455.

Bankers Hill newcomer

Did you hear about the new spot called Books & Records? Don’t worry, we also assumed the place had nothing to do with food and cocktails.

The restaurant was launched by the LGBT-friendly owners of Common Stock in Hillcrest, who have taken over the space previously occupied by Bankers Hill Bar + Restaurant. Yes, the décor incorporates shelving with books, a few records, and an old record player. But many of the standout architectural features, including a lengthy bar, paned windows and cobblestone flooring, were kept intact. The overall result inside the 2,200-square-foot restaurant is spacious and inviting.

A menu of upscale dishes complements crafty cocktails and live jazz music on select evenings. (Look for occasional performances by one of San Diego’s LGBT favorites, Sue Palmer.) 2202 Fourth Avenue, 619-795-1000, booksandrecordsbar.com.

Mini review: Long Story Short

With an attention-getting name and dishes that are fiercely original in their flavor combinations, Long Story Short in the heart of North Park is off to a roaring start.

The restaurant is the brainchild of husband-wife duo Elliott and Kelly Townsend. Both worked as chefs in other restaurants, which included Juniper & Ivy for him, and Cowboy Star for her. They met some years ago at the Art Institute of California-San Diego where they each earned bachelor’s degrees in culinary management.

The restaurant’s concept relays the couple’s personal culinary adventures acquired from traveling as well as growing up in San Diego.

From their hyper-seasonal menu we reveled in juicy French melons from Chino Farms that paired exquisitely to stewed bell peppers (peperonata), lemon verbena, and a deep-orange puree of sweet Jimmy Nardello peppers.

Late-summer figs and diced radishes came into play for a chilled crudo using fresh yellow tail. And a generous order of charred carrots sourced from JR Organics in North County sang to curry butter and peanut salsa. Equally brilliant was the coffee-infused brown butter, bathing a filet of flaky halibut flanked by fingerling potatoes.

Across the menu, the flavor pairings and contrasts contained within each dish were wildly original. “What grows together, goes together,” Townsend answered when asked how much taste-testing goes into these seasonal dishes. “Very little,” he added.

The menu is small and focused and can change every two to three weeks.

Long Story Short is open for dinner beginning at 5 pm Wednesday through Saturday, and starting at 4 pm on Sundays. 3017 University Ave., 619-228-9381, longstoryshort-sd.com.

–Frank Sabatini Jr. has been writing about food in San Diego for over 35 years. He launched his own food blog during the pandemic, called, “The Hash Star,” which you can follow at thehashstar. com. He can be reached at frank.sabatini92108@gmail.com.▼

Mariela Torres and Matthew Oliver in front of their new venture (Photo by Frank Sabatini Jr.)

Steak at Craft House (Courtesy Black X Marketing)

Charred carrots in curry sauce at Long Story Short (Photo by Frank Sabatini Jr.)

LGBTQ SD Obituaries

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Coco Galliana (1986-2023)

Oscar Samuel Galeana, aka Coco Galliana, of San Diego, born on May 9, 1986, passed away on July 15, 2023. She is survived by his parents, Patricia Galeana Acevedo, Agustin Mendoza Romo, and his brother Eduardo Mendoza Galeana.

When Coco was 13, Patricia and Agustin decided to migrate their family to the United States in hopes to give their sons better opportunities for better lives. However, Coco saw something bigger: the chance to be who he truly was and what he was: a woman. Although Coco did not come out as transgender until much later, she was fascinated by the acceptance of the LGBTQ community in America; especially in San Diego. She quickly fell in love with this country. So much so that when the opportunity came to go back to Mexico, she refused.

Coco slowly entered the fashion industry, first by working at Bloomingdale’s and later managing designer brand stores. Eventually she dressed models for fashion shows. No one could deny she had talent.

It soon became evident that Samuel had outgrown his given birth name and her friends took it upon themselves to rename her Coco because of her love for Coco Chanel. Coco suffered much in this world, yet she never let on. There would be times she’d casually mention being discriminated against and even attacked for being transgender but one could have never known because she was so resilient and so positive. Her energy and fabulous spirit will be missed.

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Her friends describe her as a supporting force in their lives, encouraging them to strive for bigger and better things.

Madison, and partner Michael, as well as his three-legged cat Mika, whom he devoted much love and care to.

A celebration of life will be held in the coming months, and will be announced through updates on a GoFundMe page that has been created to help his family with final expenses. Those wishing to contribute can visit bit. ly/3Q2TNUo.

Coco was taken to her birthplace and final resting place, Acapulco, Mexico, on August 9, 2023. Her closest and dearest friends continue to be a cherished and beloved support system to her family.

Dr. Ruth Riedel (1941-2023)

The San Diego HIV-AIDS Community lost an early advocate and leader with the recent death of Dr. Ruth Riedel, former CEO of Alliance Healthcare Foundation (AHF).

The San Diego HIV Funding Collaborative (SDHFC) was started at the San Diego Foundation before transitioning to the Alliance Healthcare Foundation. Both Foundations contributed and raised funds for local HIV/AIDS education prevention, and care at a time when too few others would.

Eric Anthony Crew (1985-2023)

On Sept. 26, 2023, Eric Anthony Crew, loving son and beacon of light, passed away at the age of 38. Born in San Diego to Heidi Roy and the late Daniel Crew, Eric lived to learn and experience all that life had to offer. He spent many severalyear long periods in various different cities throughout his life, connecting with a network of friends whom he greatly loved and will sorely miss him.

He delved into the esoteric, ever wishing to expand his connection and understanding of life and existence itself. He also was an accomplished photographer, writer, and painter, showing profound skill and devotion to those pursuits.

He is survived by his mother Heidi, brother Jason, sister

Ruth Riedel, as CEO of Alliance Healthcare Foundation, was personally committed to the success of the SDHFC for years as she and her staff helped raise significant monies to support local service providers and HIV education.

The SDHFC pooled funds raised with AIDS Walk funds and distributed them among local agencies.

Ruth provided meeting space, significant staff time, and AHF grants to ensure the effectiveness and success of the SDHFC.

Those old enough to remember the challenges and fear at the outset of the AIDS epidemic shall be forever grateful for Dr. Ruth Riedel.

A Celebration of Life will be held on Saturday, October 21st at the First Unitarian Universalist Church in Hillcrest. Services will begin at 2 PM.

Obituaries should be emailed to publisher@lgbtqsd.news. They must be no longer than 300 words. Please follow normal rules of capitalization and no poetry. We reserve the right to edit for style, clarity, grammar, and taste. Provide the name and contact information for the funeral home, crematory, or organ donation agency that handled final disposition of the body. This is for verification.

Please submit at least one photo of the deceased - email one or more recent color or black-and-white high resolution jpg files along with your submission. Include your choice of photo to be published using numbers.

Deadline for obituaries is the last Monday of the month at 9 am, with the exception of special paid display ad obituaries, which must be submitted by the prior Friday at 3 pm. For information on paid obituaries, see below or call 858-886-9458. Obituaries can also be mailed to LGBTQ San Diego County News. Write the deceased’s name on the back of the photo. If you include a self-addressed, stamped envelope for the photo’s return, write the person’s name on the inside of the envelope flap. All obituaries must include a contact name and daytime phone number. They must be submitted within a year of the death. There is no charge for these obituaries.

Paid display announcements, obituaries and in-memoriams

LGBTQ San Diego County News can help members of the community reach more than 11,000 LGBTQ+ area readers each month with their display of a paid announcement, obituary and “In Memoriam” messages.

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DEADLINES: Last friday at noon for space reservations; following Monday at noon for copy and images

TO PLACE: Call 858-886-9458 or email publisher@lgbtqsd.news

The following year, in 2009, the duo organized a committee –known as San Diego Remembers – to organize marches, vigils, and memorial events each October, which all continued to grow in scope through 2016, when the group disbanded. The work of the committee was recognized in 2018 by the Matthew Shepard Foundation and Shepard’s parents, Judy and Dennis.

While the San Diego Remembers group no longer meets regularly, they are working with partner organizations to organize this brief gathering to recognize the 25th anniversary. Even after 25 years, hate crimes against the LGBTQ community persist, and have even escalated in recent years.

The informal event will include a candlelight vigil, a moment of silence, and brief remarks. Vigil candles will be provided, however participants are welcome to bring their own candles or other items to place around the plaque.

The John Wear Hate Crimes Memorial Plaque is located on the sidewalk in front of 1029 University Avenue, just east of Barrel & Board Social. For more information, contact Benny by text at 619-316-9197 or email benny.bc.cartwright@gmail.com.

FILMOUT SERIES RETURNS WITH DUNAWAY HIT

After its successful 23rd film festival last month, FilmOUT San Diego continues its popular select screening series in October, with a showing of “The Eyes of Laura Mars,” starring Faye Dunaway and a dashingly young Tommy Lee Jones. Dunaway portrays a controversial New York City fashion photographer who begins to “see” through the eyes of a serial killer.

The supernatural thriller, celebrating its 45th anniversary this year, will be screened at Landmark’s Hillcrest Cinemas on Wednesday, Oct. 18, from 7-9:30 pm. Barbra Streisand sang the

1978 film’s lead song, “Prisoner,” after passing on the role.

Prior to the feature film will be the world premiere of “Deadfall,” a short film written by local San Diegan Michael Mizerany and directed by fellow San Diegan Travis Land. The 11-minute film

COMMUNITY OFRENDA TO HONOR LOVED ONES

For the second year, local activist Rick Cervantes will build his Hillcrest Community Ofrenda at the base of the Hillcrest Pride Flag. According to Wikipedia, “An ofrenda is the offering placed in a home altar during the annual and traditionally Mexican Día de los Muertos celebration. An ofrenda, which may be quite large and elaborate, is usually created by the family members of a person who has died and is intended to welcome the deceased to the altar setting.”

The Hillcrest altar will be built starting at 4 pm on Halloween, Tuesday, Oct. 31, and be in place through the evening of Thursday, Nov. 2. All community members are invited to add photos or mementos of loved ones who have passed to the altar at any time while it is up.

‘FESTIVAL OF TREES’ ADVANCE TICKETS ON SALE

The “Festival of Trees” is an annual holiday-themed event that raises money for HIV/AIDS services and programs. Produced by Big Gay California (BGCA), a 501(3)c nonprofit, the event will take place Sunday, Nov. 19, from 4-8 pm at InsideOUT in Hillcrest. With InsideOUT’s own next-level holiday theme, it is the perfect location for this event.

Discounted advance tickets are now available through Oct. 10. Every year BGCA gets dozens of artificial Christmas trees (minimum height 5 feet) donated by individuals, organizations, and businesses, each pre-decorated head-to-toe in all types of festive garb and then attendees bid on them individually at the event.

‘FREQUENT FLYER’ STYLE CARD AT FARMERS MARKET

is described as “A night of passion goes horribly awry when a young man realizes there’s more to this evening than a one-night stand.” Hillcrest Cinemas is located at 3965 Fifth Avenue. Tickets are $12 online, $15 at the door. For more information, visit filmoutsandiego.org.

SCARE UP YOUR FAVORITE COSTUME FOR ‘NIGHTMARE’

Get ready for Hillcrest’s annual Halloween celebration, with dancing, vendors, a costume contest with $3,000 in total prizes, a pet costume contest, and more. It all takes place Saturday, Oct 28, 5-11 pm, at the Pride Flag Plaza, 1500 University Ave. (at the corner of Normal Street), in Hillcrest. Advance tickets are now on sale with General Admission $25 and VIP $55 (includes front of the line admission to the event, access to a special 21+ VIP area with a VIP bar and private restrooms, two complimentary cocktails, and a $10 food ticket). Enjoy popular food trucks, two of Rich’s most popular DJs – as well as Strawberry Corncakes as Mistress of Ceremonies. To learn more – and if you plan to enter the contest check out details very carefully – visit bit.ly/3LO15IZ.

Cervantes had been building a small ofrenda in his home each year since his brother was murdered in 2016. Last year, Cervantes and Benny Cartwright had the idea to build a larger scale outdoor community ofrenda, and with the blessing of the Hillcrest Business Association, constructed the first one at the base of the Pride flag in mid-October. Overnight, it was destroyed.

The pair decided to build it back (and bigger) later that month, along with a 24-hour team of volunteers who looked after it day and night for the three days it was up. Dozens of community members stopped by to visit the altar and place their own mementos in honor of loved ones.

During the building of the altar this Halloween, a brief ceremony will be held at 6 pm for community members to gather and learn more about the tradition of Día de los Muertos. Community members are welcome to stop by the altar 24-hours a day through Nov. 2.

Volunteers are needed to keep watch over the ofrenda and to help answer questions from Oct. 31-Nov. 2.

Visit bit.ly/2023Ofrenda for more information and to sign-up.

Tickets are available for VIP (4-5 pm) and General Admission (5-8 pm) and include food, atmosphere, a silent auction, a travel raffle, special guest hosts, a tree lighting ceremony, and lots of holiday cheer. Organizers say it sells out fast, so consider this as your holiday kick-off. To watch a video of the 2022 event, visit youtu.be/cnr_9L77uhU. To buy tickets or learn how you or your business can sponsor a tree, visit bit.ly/3rHBw5p.

The Hillcrest Farmers Market (HFM), brought to you by the Hillcrest Business Association, has introduced a new program - the “punch card.” Available at the HFM information booth, bring your punch card back to the market and get a stamp for visiting that week (one stamp per visit). When you reach 10 stamps on the card, you will be entered into their quarterly raffle, which can win you a gift basket filled with gift cards and other items from some of your favorite vendors.

The first drawing will take place December 24, so there is plenty of time to fill up your punch card. Visit the information booth to pick up your card and get started with your first stamp. If you are an HFM vendor and want to participate by donating to the gift baskets, visit bit. ly/46xx886 to complete a form.

(Historic Flick’s photos courtesy of Flicks; Anniversary party photos courtesy Big Mike Phillips )