LGBTQ San Diego County News Volume 1 Issue 14

LGBTQSD.NEWS

APRIL 10 - 23, 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 14

APRIL 10 - 23, 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 14

1

LGBTQSD.NEWS

ENTERTAINMENT

Melissa Etheridge learned to let go of fear P8

Online entertainment a click away P3

COMMUNITY VOICES

HOT DISH

Conversations with Nicole P5

Life Beyond Therapy P6

Big Mike & Friends P7

City Attorney News P4

State of our PrideP13

Court News P14

Asian ingredients for the pantry Easy chow mein recipe P10

FITNESS

Quick and effective leg and butt workout P11

Free online courses while you’re safe at home P12

WHY THE EASTER BUNNY IS A THING

Graphic by rawpixels.com

By Paula J. Luttrell

T

STAY AT HOME IN SAN DIEGO

HOW LOCAL LGBTQ+ BUSINESSES KEEP COMMUNITY THRIVING

By Kevin Perry

H

uman connection is a playground of sensations and emotions. Every touch brings us closer and every embrace immerses us in togetherness. As COVID-19 drives us inward, our connections are increasingly threatened. The gay community has been marginalized before, which is why we are the foremost experts at how to create a community out of the tattered remnants of a wounded society.

Look to the leadership of local establishments for inspiration during these troubled times. As

they feed your belly and your soul, be sure to return the favor with the appreciation they so richly deserve. We all remember the first time we walked into a gay bar, excited and/or intimidated, before eventually stepping out as part of a cohesive family. That family needs you now more than ever, so let’s tiptoe through the LGBTQ landscape, bars first.

he Easter Bunny first arrived in America in the 1700s with German immigrants who settled in Pennsylvania and brought their traditions with them. The Osterhase, or Easter Hare, would lay colored eggs and children would make nests for them, which evolved into the baskets we use today.

The decoration of eggs is believed to date back to the 13th century, while the rite of the Easter parade has even older roots. Easter is a religious holiday, but some of its customs are likely linked to pagan traditions. The egg, an ancient symbol of new life, has been associated with pagan festivals celebrating spring.

A pagan holiday that fell around the time of the vernal equinox celebrated the German fertility goddess Eastre. Her symbol was the hare, for obvious reasons.

Why the Easter Bunny is a Thing continues on P3

Stay at Home in San Diego continues on P2

MASK FOR MASK; FROM PARIS WITH LOVE! Paris Antonette S. Quion

I

don’t even know where to start this to be honest. But I’ll start by letting you know that I am not a writer, so please bear with me.

I am, however, Paris. I’m usually running around our community in Hillcrest, working at InsideOUT or performing. The time I’ve been able to be a part of the LGBTQ+ community, mainly the Hillcrest community, I’ve learned that there’s no better company to be a part of in celebration or hardship. We look around at our community members, neighbors, friends, and chosen family and we see the ones who are mobilizing, finding a way to contribute and giving their all so humbly.

Mask for Mask continues on P2

CANNABIS 21+

1299 CAMINO DEL RIO SOUTH | 619.906.5546

10% OFF ENTIRE PURCHASE

COUPON MUST BE PRESENT. CANNOT BE COMBINED. EXCLUDES DISCOUNTED ITEMS.

2

APRIL 10 - 23, 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 14

NEWS

Stay at Home in San Diego continued from Page 1

Urban MO’s is the North Star of naughtiness, a jolt of brunch realness that fades brilliantly into fabulous weekly events such as Broke-Ass Mondays and Show Tunes Tuesdays. While we yearn to huddle once more around the bustling bar at MO’s, we can celebrate the spirit of their party atmosphere by purchasing a social distancing-themed T-shirt. All proceeds go to the staff members who have been affected by downtime and lost tips during the current coronavirus scourge. In the eternally sassy style of this Hillcrest enclave, the front of the shirt is a blazing pink entreaty to stay back “6 Feet! Gurl, 6 Feet!”

For the ultimate flirtation from afar, stay online (and on fleek) with Flicks. Their attitude is livestreaming for your entertainment pleasure. Crank up your speakers to eradicate the memory of your last Zoom conference call and shake off the quarantine blues by going full screen, baby! If you like what you hear, see, and feel, then make sure to tip your DJ via Venmo.

Download some digital love!

OK, OK, we know what you’re thinking (and we are simultaneously shocked and impressed).

What about the booze? Yes, cocktails are an essential ingredient to the gay bar experience, so Rich’s spilleth over… all the way to your doorstep! Their Delivery Disco offers bottle service every day from 3 to 7 p.m. Happy hour has never been so mobile. Yaas responsibly!

Now that you have the ingredient you so desperately desire, log onto Hole in the Wall’s Facebook feed. Affectionately known as “The Hole,” this queer destination is so inclusive, they usher you behind the velvet rope and into their bartender’s online lair. That’s where you can follow how-to instructions to concoct your favorite beverages with the help of Krysta Lee, your quarantine kween. She livestreams her mixological mastery to make you feel right at home…in her home!

LGBTQSD.NEWS

Mask for Mask continued from Page 1

If you prefer your libations less liquid and more Mary Jane, groove on over to San Diego Recreational Cannabis (or SDRC if you’re cool like that). Their edibles, extracts, and CBD products are available for puff, puff, pickup!

Order online and trip out on this: SDRC delivers locally to keep you anxiety-free during these uncertain times.

Reward those burgeoning munchies and get born again with Baby Cakes. Their sinful confections include signature flavors like Lemon Bavarian and Black Bottom (yum supreme). You will want to stay a while, but social distancing rules must be obeyed…much like your appetite.

Fear not, because Baby Cakes offers their deliciousness to go-go!

Speaking of yum on the run, cozy up to the curbside cuisine of Zinqué. Their gastronomy wizards are conjuring up a new line of familysized meals for pickup or delivery, so your palate needn’t pause. To wash down the wondrous Mediterranean flavors, splash in a half-priced bottle of Champagne or wine. Much like Celine Dion’s heart, the brunch will go on!

Now that you’re fueled up, it’s time to get in touch with yourself. Let’s face it: this quarantine has NOT put a damper on your libido. Who else is frisky AF, by a show of hands? If your hands are “otherwise occupied,” get ready to give them a rest – and please wash them thoroughly…for so many reasons. Pleasures & Treasures is penetrating the digital divide deep and wide by delivering adult toys directly to your front door (or backdoor, let’s be honest). Be single no more with sex accessories galore! Or treat your partner to the devilish sins of your flesh, with a refreshing boost courtesy of P&T. It is natural to feel alone these days. We are inundated with misinformation, fear, and doubt.

But your community is still vibrantly here and queer, lingering in the pixels that filter through your consciousness. Log on, tune in, and connect on a whole new level.

From leaders like Nicole, Big Mike and Robb Rodriguez making sure everyone has access to food, to your neighbors sharing what they can, to friends telling you we’re going to get through this, to our chosen family checking in on us and reassuring us that we’re not in this alone — how lucky are we, right? I sure hope we’re all looking up to the ones who are helping during these times of hardship. That’s kind of where I got my queue.

When this pandemic began taking control, I found myself in constant stress and fear. I feared for my employees at the restaurant, I feared for the health of my loved ones and our community, and overall, I feared the unknown. I had to find a way to take back some form of control and looked to the things I know: I know how to run a business; I know I have access to information; I know how to sew; and I know I needed to open my eyes to a broader picture — and that’s when I started sewing facial masks.

Community centers, like our own here in Hillcrest, were still offering their services as they are vital, and businesses like many of ours in the MO’s Universe were still offering takeout to help Hillcrest continue to have access to food, feel some form of normalcy and help keep staff employed. There was also a large number of smaller-scale facilities (which, if you think large hospitals have difficulties, imagine the smaller ones) and they needed help as well.

I began with a small lot of masks and asked around to see who really needed them. Everyone was gracious for the help and slowly, I found myself regularly sewing a batch and then spending a small part of the day delivering them. Every delivery was met with kindness and so much gratitude; it was infectious and it kept me going. This was all about a month ago, before the full shelter-in-place order was announced and I was able to stay under the radar. Eventually, folks started finding out as I began getting tagged in photos and posts on social media but by that time, I had already committed to a regular rotation of deliveries. I had to be honest with myself that I can only make so many a day so I had to find a way to extend people’s access to masks.

With the power of technology, I was able to put out some live videos and photos of fabric patterns to help others make them at home. As apprehensive as I was about making those videos, it was well worth it. Seeing everyone really put their best foot forward to do what they can for their (and others’) safety is amazing. You see that people know their actions can affect those around them.

It shows that people care and want to get past this. It shows that when given the opportunity or the tools, people want to be involved and maybe, just like I felt, want to take some form of control back in what is our temporary, but very real, reality.

I honestly didn’t know where to take this article when I was first asked to contribute. I was mortified at the thought of talking about myself and how many masks I’m doing with numbers and statistics because I didn’t see how that mattered. What matters is how infectious compassion, kindness and love are. Even in that statement alone, I feel like we’re able to take a word like “infectious,” which is so commonly associated with such sadness, and make it a word about love. That’s what brought me here and moved me forward every day during this difficult time. The strong people around us are a reminder that there’s always a way to contribute and while we may not have much control in the situation at hand, we have control in how we react and move forward — and even how we take a scary word like “infectious” and turn it into a word meaning love and light.

If you would like to learn about ways to help, reach out to your local community centers like The San Diego LGBTQ Center, senior living facilities, family centers, service and medication providers like Being Alive, youth centers, homeless facilities or services, hospitals and urgent care centers. Simply asking if there’s anything you can do or anything specific they may need can go a long way. Each of these places has a strong group of employees and volunteers that put their own well-being on the line daily to get us all through this. A lot of these places still operate their food programs and may need canned goods and non-perishables. Many might simply need a vote of confidence in the form of a thank-you card and a gift card for coffee. Your kindness has no limitations.

Infected with love,

Paris Antonette S. Quion

NEWS

LGBTQSD.NEWS

LET THEM ENTERTAIN YOU...

ONLINE!

CYBER SOCIAL Whips N Furs invite you to join the Cyber Social Friday April 10th at 5:PM. The show will be stream on YouTube, search Vivvi the Fource. Catch permanence’s by some of your favorite queens. Bae Le Stray, Karie Okie, Sienna Desire, Quin, Evelyn Rose, Minaca G Kelly, Amber St. James, Kickxy Vixen Styles, Sissy Slays, Nomi D’Shire, Shania Satisfaction, Strawberry Corncakes, Luna Naughty, Absinthe Subtlety, DJ Jon Doss, Leggs Benedict, Mok The Magic Man, Lust and Silas. With that line up you know you are going to be entertained.

THE DIAMOND DOGS BOYLESQUE will be having their first livestream burlesque show via Zoom on Friday April 10 at 7:PM. Find out more on their Facebook page: Diamond Dogs Boylesque.

APRIL 10 - 23, 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 14

Why the Easter Bunny is a Thing continued from Page 1

For Christians, Easter eggs are said to represent Jesus’ resurrection.

One explanation for boiling and decorating eggs is that eggs, along with all other dairy products, were forbidden during Lent. Families prepared them in anticipation of their holiday feast on Easter.

In other countries, Easter eggs are delivered by other means. French children get their treats from Easter bells. According to Catholic teachings, no church bells can ring between Holy Thursday and the Easter Vigil because of the somber feelings around Jesus’ death. A legend arose from

this, that the church bells grew wings and flew to Rome to be with the Pope. They returned on Easter Day with chocolates, eggs and presents for local children. Rabbit-free Australia launched a campaign in 1991 to replace the Easter Bunny with a bilby, a rabbit-eared bandicoot. Companies now make chocolate-shaped bilbies for Easter, with proceeds going to protect endangered animals, the bilby being one of them.

In Switzerland, children fill their baskets on Easter morning with eggs left by the Easter Cuckoo. (It makes sense for eggs to come from birds rather than bunnies, right?)

No matter how you celebrate, may you find something wonderful in your “nest”!

5 ICONS 1 QUEEN Kickxy Vixen-Styles will put on a one queen show with some fantastic characters and some guest performers. Saturday April 11 at 12:PM you can watch the show via her Facebook Kickxy Vixen-Styles or by checking her YouTube channel www.youtube. com/c/GeekyKiki.

MARK KANEMURA IG: mkik808 Daily 2:PM Dance Party.

Mark is an artist and professional dancer.

He has toured with and appeared in several of Lady Gagas videos. He also won a 2020 Queertie for Favorite Social Media Follow, tune in to his daily 2:PM dance parties and find out why!

ONE WORLD: TOGETHER AT HOME Lady Gaga (who has already helped raise $35 million in the last seven days) has teamed up with the World Health Organization and Global Citizen for One World: Together at Home which will air and stream on April 18th at 8:PM to support and applaud healthcare workers in the fight against COVID-19. This live musical line-up with all your favorite performers will air simultaneously on ABC, NBC, CBS, Amazon, Apple, Facebook, Instagram, Yahoo, YouTube and other networks.

DJ ELI CORREA Be sure to check out Eli’s social media for his schedule of music livestreams for your favorite tunes. Last Sunday’s Virtual Sunday Funday with the Durbin-Carringtons was an excellent soundtrack for the day. Facebook: Eli Correa IG: djelicorrea mixcloud.com/eli-correa/

THE MERROW For the past two Saturday nights they’ve had DJs spinning on livestream. @heather_hardcore was lit both nights; other DJs included @robin_roth and @vaughnavakian.

Check out @TheMerrowSD for their next Saturday guest DJs.

TNT VARIETY SHOW FROM FACES NIGHTCLUB Every Saturday night at 10:PM. Interviews, Give aways, drag shows, go-go dancer, DJs and a lot more! Stream us on www.facebook.com/facesnightclub or www. vimeo.com/facesnightclub

Since 1972, The San Diego LGBT Community Center’s mission has been to enhance and sustain the health and well-being of our LGBTQ community. We are a strong and resilient community who have advocated, stood up, and cared for each other for many years. We will weather this crisis as we have in the past, together as a community.

The Center’s Emergency Services include: • Program case management by Zoom or phone • Behavioral Health Services by Zoom Health Care • Emergency Referral Desk • HIV testing by appointment

• Critical housing needs • Food resources • Support Groups via Zoom

Call 619.692.2077 x211 for Emergency Services, resources, and referrals Based on guidance from public health officials CENTER EMERGENCY FUND and out of concern for our community – The Please donate to Center must also postpone our major fundraising provide Emergency events, Dining Out For Life® San Diego and the Services during the annual Harvey Milk Diversity Breakfast. If you are COVID-19 Pandemic able, please donate so that we can continue our Emergency Services at thecentersd.org/giving thecentersd.org/giving The San Diego LGBT Community Center • 3909 Centre Street • 619-692-2077 www.thecentersd.org

3

4

PUBLIC SERVICE / OPINION

APRIL 10 - 23, 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 14

LGBTQSD.NEWS

LGBTQ San Diego County News PO Box 34664 San Diego, CA 92163 858.886.9458 PUBLISHER Terry Sidie

CITY ATTORNEY NEWS

ASSOCIATE PUBLISHER Nicole Murray Ramirez nicolemrsd1@gmail.com 619-241-5672

Mara W. Elliott —Mara W. Elliott was elected City Attorney of San Diego in 2016 after serving as the chief deputy attorney for the Office’s Public Services Section and legal adviser to the city’s Independent Audit Committee and Environment Committee. Elliott and the lawyers in her section held polluters accountable, reformed city contracting, cut administrative red tape, and strengthened the city’s living wage and non-discrimination in contracting ordinances.

E

ven in the best of times, there is an abundance of legal work for the attorneys who advise our elected officials and department heads. We find that keeping a $3 billion municipal government out of trouble and operating effectively is as satisfying as it is challenging.

During a crisis, however, the workload grows exponentially. Unprecedented situations may require original solutions, and even new laws. Urgent questions arise and need quick answers. Emergency orders need to be clarified for city employees and the public, as they can change everything from how government stays transparent to what is legal and illegal.

At times like these, the attorneys in our Civil Advisory Division are the unsung heroes of city government, toiling behind the scenes to ensure the city can respond to rapidly developing situations swiftly and legally.

When the COVID-19 emergency hit, my office received what might otherwise be six months of legal questions in just two weeks.

Issues covered by our advice included nearly every aspect of city operations: • The use of city facilities and property for emergency housing and other purposes necessary to combat the spread of COVID-19.

• The city’s ability to provide relief to tenants, landlords, businesses, water customers, and others impacted by COVID-19.

CREATIVE DIRECTOR Cesar A. Reyes creativedirector@lgbtqsd.news

(Photo by rawpixels.com)

CITY ATTORNEY’S OFFICE PROTECTING PUBLIC DURING

HEALTH EMERGENCY • Definitions of “essential” and “non-essential” businesses under the governor’s executive order, and the city’s powers to enforce the closure of businesses that refuse to comply.

• The city’s ability to preemptively cancel public events in parks and on leased property that appear to violate the governor’s executive order.

• Protocols for minimizing city employee exposure to the novel coronavirus, including police officers who deal with symptomatic arrestees.

• Keeping city business flowing smoothly when the employees needed to review and sign documents are working remotely.

• Rules for holding public meetings under the Brown Act when members of the public cannot be physically present.

In addition to addressing these issues, and dozens more, our office quickly drafted the Eviction Moratorium and Business Relief resolutions that were unanimously approved by the City Council on March 25.

We also worked on establishing emergency child care for our city’s public safety personnel, who continue to work long hours even while their children are home from school.

Other divisions in our office are working equally hard to keep San Diegans safe during the health emergency.

Attorneys and investigators in the Affirmative Civil Enforcement Unit (ACE) are working nights and weekends to protect consumers

from exploitation. Price gouging – or selling essential items for more than 10% of the normal cost – is illegal under state law after a state of emergency has been declared.

ACE is also tracking down scammers that peddle false promises of treatments and cures, fraudulent financial investments, fake at-home testing kits, and deceptive online ads and email campaigns.

San Diegans shouldn’t have to worry about being cheated when taking precautions to stay healthy. To report price gouging or scams, please call 619-533-5618.

Even while courtrooms are closed, our office works directly with the courts to ensure access to justice. Gun Violence Restraining Orders to prevent gun violence and restraining orders for victims of domestic violence are still being obtained.

And our Family Justice Center, which serves victims of domestic violence and human trafficking, has adapted to the times.

Its dedicated staff is available by phone to provide safety planning and connect victims to community resources. To reach a victim services coordinator at the FJC, call 619-5336000 or 619-533-6001.

During this difficult time, everyone in the San Diego City Attorney’s Office is working diligently to protect the health and safety of you and your community.

EDITOR editor@lgbtqsd.news SENIOR STAFF REPORTER M. G. Perez SALES sales@lgbtqsd.news STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER Big Mike Phillips Bmsd1957@gmail.com 619-807-7324 COPY EDITOR Dustin Lothspeich WEB AND SOCIAL MEDIA info@lgbtq.news CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Big Mike Phillips Blake and Gwen Beckom Chris Azzopardi Fernando Zweifach López Kevin Perry Michael Kimmel Neal Putnam Paula J. Luttrell Paris Antonette S. Quion

DISTRIBUTION LGBTQ San Diego County News is distributed free every other Friday of the month. © 2020. All rights reserved.

OPINION/LETTERS LGBTQ San Diego County News encourages letters to the editor and guest editorials. Please email them directly to editor@lgbtqsd.news and include your name, phone number and address for verification. We reserve the right to edit letters for brevity and accuracy. Letters and guest editorials do not necessarily reflect the views of the publishers or staff.

SUBMISSION/NEWS TIPS Press releases and story ideas are welcomed. Send press releases, tips, photos or story ideas to editor@lgbtqsd.news. For breaking news and Investigative story ideas, contact the editor by phone or email.

Copyright © 2020 LGBTQ San Diego County News Editor’s Note: The opinions written in this publication’s editorial and opinion pages are the author’s own and does not necessarily represent the opinions of the staff and/or publisher of LGBTQ San Diego County News. The newspaper and its staff should be held harmless of liability or damages.

COMMUNITY VOICES

LGBTQSD.NEWS

APRIL 10 - 23, 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 14

Conversations with Nicole

Nicole Murray Ramirez —Nicole Murray Ramirez has been writing a column since 1973. He has been a Latino/gay activist for almost half a century and has advised and served the last seven mayors of San Diego. Named the ‘Honorary Mayor of Hillcrest’ by a city proclamation, he has received many media awards including from the prestigious San Diego Press Club. Reach Nicole at Nicolemrsd1@gmail.com and follow him on Twitter @Nmrsd2.

Reach Out and Touch Someone There are many people in our communities across North America who live alone, be they single or seniors (especially many LGBTQ seniors), so we launched our “Reach Out and Touch Someone” project encouraging and reminding people to check in on their friends regularly by phone, email, text, letters, etc. For people isolated by themselves, it means a lot and makes a big difference knowing that someone cares and they’re not alone. Why not make a list so that you reach out to these people regularly.

Let’s fly the Rainbow and American flags together!

Y

ears ago, Stefan Chicote of Baja Betty’s came up with the great idea of getting a big Rainbow Flag to proudly fly in Hillcrest permanently and Jonathan Hale and Carl DeMaio led the effort to raise the thousands of dollars needed to get it done. At times, the Transgender, Bear, Leather, etc. and other LGBTQ flags are added for special occasions. I love seeing our Rainbow Flag every time I pass by it or when stopping at my favorite 7-11 store near it. And in the near future, a “Pride Plaza” will be built in honor of the history of Hillcrest and those who helped make it into what it is today: the LGBTQ+ community, the Italian community, military, small businesses, education, our allies, friends and neighbors...as we are proud of all Hillcrest. City Councilman Chris Ward is leading this effort along with his hardworking staff (Brittany and Tyler). The Hillcrest Street Business Association (HBA) has been involved in both projects and is in charge of the Rainbow Flag. The HBA can be reached at 619-299-3330 or Info@HillcrestBIA.org.

San Diego is home to the largest military complex in the Western Hemisphere and that means countless active military and veterans...indeed, we are a proud military city. When the Rainbow Flag was first established, I wrote a column in the then-Gay and Lesbian Weekly calling for both the Rainbow Flag and the American Flag to always fly together in recognition of our military community, as well as all the citizens of Hillcrest. While my idea received a lot of support, it was not approved by the Rainbow Flag Committee at that time.

Now is the time! Now, more than ever, the American Flag should fly with our Rainbow Flag — in salute not only to our military but to our doctors, nurses, hospital staff, police officers, firefighters, first responders, grocery and pharmacy workers, janitors, etc. Cities around the world are showing their appreciation and so should our community. Please let the HBA know you support the flying of the American and Rainbow flags together and I also call upon California Senator Toni Atkins, Assemblyman Todd Gloria, City Council President Georgette Gomez, Council members Chris Ward and Dr. Jen Campbell, as well as candidates Stephen Whitburn and Toni Duran for support. I’ll call upon all LGBTQ organizations to join me in this effort. Thank you for listening.

LGBTQ people are spiritual Every study/survey has pointed out that the majority of the LGBTQ+ community is not only patriotic but spiritual, even though many do not go to church, temple, etc., regularly.

Operation: Royal Mask A project focusing on members of our community who are sewing and making face masks because of the low supply (Paris of Inside Out Restaurant even has a video showing you how to make them).

The Imperial Courts across North America have hundreds of “Betsy Ross” friends sewing away.

This week is Holy Week for Christians...and I believe if Jesus came down to earth, he would weep if he heard and saw what some Christians are saying and doing in His name.

The Jewish Passover is April 8 through April 16.

And for the Muslim community, Ramadan begins April 23 and ends on May 23.

May you all have a blessed Easter, Passover and Ramadan.

5

6

COMMUNITY VOICES

APRIL 10 - 23, 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 14

LGBTQSD.NEWS

THE PLACES THAT SCARE YOU; CREATE YOUR OWN ACTION PLAN

LIFE BEYOND THERAPY Michael Kimmel —Michael Kimmel is a licensed psychotherapist who specializes in helping LGBT clients achieve their goals and deal with anxiety, depression, grief, sexually addictive behavior, coming out, relationship challenges and homophobia.

Contact him at 619-955-3311 or visit lifebeyondtherapy.com.

T

hese are scary times; we’re living with much uncertainty and many unknowns. As a psychotherapist, my clients, friends and family frequently ask me, “I’m scared. What can we do?” One thing I am doing with my clients to alleviate their fears and worries is to help them make a list of the things that frighten them.

“Why would anyone do that?” you may ask, “Won’t that just make me feel worse?”

No. Not at all. This exercise will give you a clear idea of what you can control (so you feel calmer) and what you can’t (so you can let it go). I call it “The Action Plan Exercise.”

ON A PIECE OF PAPER, CREATE THREE COLUMNS: (Photo by rawpixels.com)

Column 1: Write down what you’re afraid of.

Column 2: Write down what you can’t control.

Column 3: Write down what you can control. This is the key to your peace of mind. This is the most important column.

It gives you an action plan.

Here’s an example: COLUMN 1 (MY FEAR): I’m afraid I’ll get the coronavirus, g et really sick and die.

COLUMN 2 (WHAT I CAN’T CONTROL): • I can’t control the people near me in the grocery store or what’s on every single surface that I touch.

• I can’t continually sanitize every square inch of my home.

• I can’t control my loneliness and how much I miss my friends.

• I can’t control my immune system.

COLUMN 3 (WHAT I CAN CONTROL): • I can control what I do in the grocery store (wear a bandana and gloves), how close I get to other people, which grocery store I go to and how often I go.

• I can regularly clean/sanitize the objects I come in contact with the most, like my phone.

• I can keep in touch with my friends by calling, texting, FaceTiming and going for walks with them (maintaining proper distance, of course).

• I can do my best to help my immune system: practicing yoga, walking, working out/exercising at home, meditating, eating the best I can, taking vitamins, minimizing coffee, alcohol and sugar.

COLUMN 3 BECOMES YOUR ACTION PLAN. Having an action plan gives us a sense of control and helps life feel more predictable, less chaotic and uncertain. It gives our mind a safe and secure place to go, where we feel more “in control.”

In addition to creating an action plan, here are some other ways to feel less scared in this time of the pandemic: Stay in the present — most scary things happen in the future, and it’s the future that

This exercise will give you a clear idea of what you can control (so you feel calmer) and what you can’t (so you can let it go).

we worry about. When we focus on the present, things are usually OK. We are safe and healthy, even if we’re tired of watching “Pinky and the Brain” or “Schitt’s Creek.”

Find things that work for you, whether it’s meditation, solitary walks or binging on Netflix. It’s really very individualized, and there’s not necessarily a right or wrong.

So, listen to your intuition and do what works for you.

Your best friend may not agree and your parents may think you’re crazy, but no one can take care of you better than you! Rely on hobbies, books, music, friends, movies, activities and foods that you already know make you feel better.

Try this mantra: “This crisis period is temporary; it will end.” In my tele-health sessions with my clients, I’ve been – naturally – hearing a lot of concerns associated with the pandemic: financial fears, job losses, concerns about older parents, and disappointments over canceled trips, concerts and events. Plus, you probably feel pressure to perform well at your job (if you still have one) working at home, all the while meeting the new demands of this crazy pandemic world.

My advice? Keep the big picture in mind. This, too, will pass. It may be difficult…there may be some scary times between today and the end of the pandemic, but the end will come. And every day that we’re in quarantine, we’re closer to that time. Create your own action plan, feel more in control of your life and keep those places that scare you at a safe distance.

LGBTQSD.NEWS

COMMUNITY VOICES

APRIL 10 - 23, 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 14

BIG MIKE AND FRIENDS Big Mike Phillips —Big Mike Phillips is an activist, fundraiser, bartender and photographer who has lived in San Diego for 30 years. He has helped create two nonprofits and raised hundreds of thousands of dollars for charity. He has been a photographer for more than 25 years and has recorded our LGBTQ history not only in San Diego but around the country, including three LGBTQ marches on Washington D.C. Contact Big Mike at 619-8077324, or bmsd1957@gmail.com.

T

oday’s world has changed how we live, communicate and socialize with each other. It has become a very scary place with the coronavirus taking over the entire world. One good thing that has come from the disease is the amount of compassion that people everywhere are sharing with their fellow man. It is a true testimony of how we, as human beings, will reach out to help each other during desperate times. There have always been people who have shown their compassion in giving back way before this epidemic even started, and in fact, that is why I chose to write this issue’s column about my dear friend Tonja Alvis, known by so many of her friends as TJ. I had seen Tonja at several community events either as a volunteer or someone who showed up just to support the event.

As we all know, both are so important to make an event successful. It was at one of those community events that Tonja reached out to me, asking for some guidance to put together her own event to help raise money for a worthy charity. One thing I really love about Tonja is her excitement and high energy she has for life, especially when she is able to get involved and help others. Even during these crazy scary times, she has reached out to so many who need her help or can’t get out to do simple chores, and has gotten people groceries or even walked their pets (just to name a couple of things), while being safe and protecting her own health.

Tonja moved to San Diego during her senior year of high school in 1987 and stayed with who she thought was her real father, Ted, and his wife, Suzanne. With their help, she was able to graduate from Crawford High School in 1988 at the top of her class, 11th out of 383 seniors. Even in her last year, she took time to play basketball and softball on the school teams.

After graduating, Tonja went on to do a semester and a half at San Diego State University studying anthropology. Tonja enjoyed school so much that she attended seven different colleges. She has an associate degree in Arts from Mesa Community College from Mesa, Arizona and holds an associate in applied science degree in System and Networking Administration from Hudson Valley College in Troy, New York.

But wait, this girl is smart — do not underestimate her intelligent mind that still wanted to inhale even more knowledge.

Tonja also graduated from Albany State University of New York in 2016 while making university history by being 1 out of 7 people to graduate with the new Bachelor of Science degree in Digital Forensics from their business department.

Tonja’s childhood had its challenges and she really doesn’t like to talk about it, but she was willing to share a few things.

She was born in Tacoma, Washington and grew up in the Tri-Cities with her mom and two sisters, Tami and Tina, making them the three “T” sisters. Tonja was the middle child and the black sheep of the family. She really enjoyed spending most of her time with her grandparents, Lyle and Louise, who made her feel loved. Her stepfather, Dick, died when she was 16 years old. As she got older, she couldn’t watch her mother be violently attacked by her much younger alcoholic boyfriend, and it resulted in her leaving Kennewick, Washington in search for her real dad. She

TONJA ALVIS moved back to San Diego in November 2016 from Phoenix, Arizona, where she lived for six months after driving crosscountry from Albany, New York right after graduation with her friend Lee. He attended Tonja’s college graduation and was her co-pilot for the long road trip and journey across the country.

Sadly, Lee committed suicide in June 2019.

At the young age of 18 years old, Tonja somehow ventured out early one afternoon and got into The Flame, the ladies bar on Park Boulevard. She wasn’t asked for her ID until later in the night, and was kicked out by Bear, who worked there for years. She kept Tonja’s ID. It just so happens the story goes that she had to go back the next day and get her ID back from Bear and as Tonja tells it, “I got picked up and taken home with my first woman.” This led her to enjoy meeting new ladies and people in the LGBTQ community. Tonja has always loved getting involved with her LGBTQ family and community.

The list of community organizations that you would find Tonja volunteering at every year is very impressive, starting with the San Diego LGBTQ Center that so many people count on; it warms her heart to be able to help others there. Every year, you will find Tonja marching with the group for San Diego Pride in the parade. Then, after marching, she goes straight over to the San Diego Pride Festival, where she is one of three golf cart delivery drivers who bring entertainment to the different stages. Tonja says she always looks forward to Pride just so she can volunteer with “Volunteering with Cheli.”

Her energy and big heart never seem to stop — this past Thanksgiving, she was found volunteering with the Imperial Court de San Diego for the annual Scott Carlson & Dan Ferbal Thanksgiving Community Dinner. To top it all off, she volunteers for ACLU NextGen doing photography and helping with planning fundraisers. Tonja loves her community and shows her desire to be a part of the solution that will benefit the LGBTQ family she has embraced. Whatever she can do to give back, she will try her best to be there.

While in Albany, New York, Tonja was 1 of the 13 couples who fought against the state of New York to get the

Same Sex Marriage Act on the ballot and with their hard work, was able to get the voters of New York to pass it.

Tonja and her partner Kathy, who were together for nine years, were in the actual chamber where the New York Legislation was voting on it when it passed! Kathy is the mother of Tonja’s two sons, Sean (who is now 25) and Ryan (who is 10 years older). Tonja also likes to brag about the love of her life, her 7-year-old granddaughter, Adelyn.

They live in Albany.

Tonja is one of those adventurers in life who can’t stay still, which has led to her living in five different states (New York, Arizona, California, Texas and Washington). In 1991, while living in San Diego, the Imperial Court was trying to get women more involved in the court so Tonja decided to run for Ms. Huggy Bear and won. In 1991, San Diego Pride was her first-ever Pride Parade that she excitedly marched in.

In those early days of Tonja getting involved, she found herself raising money by producing drag show fundraisers at Bee Jay’s on Home Avenue. She even did male drag herself, performing such artists as George Michael, Garth Brooks and Alan Jackson. She even went as far as giving lip-syncing a try and performed in a sparkling sequin dress, heels, and lipstick duets. Tonja has tried it all, even singing live, all to raise much-needed money for this community.

Tonja came out of the closet at the age of 18, the same age I came out to the world. She is so excited about turning 50 in January, knowing it is a milestone in her life. While reflecting on so many memories that have shaped her life and given her a sense of accomplishment knowing she’s been there for her LGBTQ family and community, Tonja shared a few more things with me that she’s proud of. When she lived in Phoenix, she won the title of Ms. Arizona Gay Rodeo Association 1997 and Ms. International Gay Rodeo Association second runner-up 1998. She was able to raise more than $10,000 for Sojourner Center, a battered women and children’s shelter in Phoenix by doing several fundraisers throughout the year. Tonja even won the award raising the most money among the entire ninemember team she was working with.

7

With the donations she had secured, the center was able to obtain land from the city to build a brand-new facility and even helped them bring in new mattresses before its grand opening. Tonja loves feeling connected to Gay Pride events no matter where they are being held, she told me, “Marching in these parades lets those young, old and confused LGBTQ people on the sidelines know I’m marching for them, and I try to live that motto every day of my life.”

She has marched in the San Diego Pride, Phoenix Pride, New York City Pride, Albany Pride and the Dyke March in New York City many times.

One of Tonja’s goals is to create a charity organization or foundation that educates people about domestic violence and abuse and gives people a safe space to go. Also, she would love to help educate people about computers and technology. Tonja said to me: “Big Mike, I want to inspire people to reach their potential. Knowledge is power! Giving and sharing that power to the people!” What I love about Tonja is how proud she is to be an out lesbian and you can find her always wearing rainbow attire. I like to call her our “Ambassador to Hillcrest.”

You can always see how much pride she takes in helping people.

Tonja operates her own business called Rainbow Sitters SD (www.facebook.com/rainbowsitterssd), where she takes care of your home and loves up your pets while you are away. She also dog walks and day/night/overnight-sits your pets. You can call her on her cell at 619-865-3714 or email her at tonja.alvis@gmail.com. She is also on Yelp. Tonja loves to teach English to people in Bucaramanga, Colombia, working with AppBlah (www.appblah.com). She is their No. 1 teacher with the most teaching sessions. She can also be found working for City Council President Georgette Gomez advocating her run for Congress. She hopes to be working for her again in August. Right now, she is currently waiting for a background check to come through to work with the 2020 U.S. census. (As I was writing this, Tonja texted me to say she had passed the background check and will start going to orientation. Congratulations, you deserve this good news!) Tonja is not afraid to work hard and has challenged herself to so many different types of employment, including roofing, delivery, computers, phones, residential counselor, caring for people in wheelchairs, cashier, loss prevention, security — the list goes on and on; anything to learn a new skill and make money to survive.

I asked Tonja to give me a thought or quote she would like to share, and she said; “See one, do one, teach one, lead one. I have done the ‘see one’ and the ‘do one’ as a young person. Now I want to ‘teach one’ and ‘lead one.’

Share the love and never surrender.

Shine your rainbow and always be you! I am a cowgirl in the city and honored to be accepted and [able to] share my wisdom and skills to help make a better place for all of us. My gift to myself is that I’m still learning every day.”

Watch out world, knowing Tonja by witnessing her excitement and positive energy is a blessing to me. We are dear friends and I personally learn from this woman. Anyone that has ever crossed her path knows what I’m talking about. All the cities and communities that have been blessed by her willingness to do the hard work, helping make life easier for others and sharing her love with the world are better off. I’m just glad we have her in San Diego so we all can watch her conquer the world and make our community even better! I love you, Tonja.

Never give up on your dreams.

8

APRIL 10 - 23, 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 14

ENTERTAINMENT

LGBTQSD.NEWS

HOW MELISSA ETHERIDGE LEARNED TO LET GO OF FEAR THE LGBTQ ICON HAS CHOSEN TO FOCUS ON THE ‘BEAUTIFUL CHANGE’ THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC WILL BRING

By Chris Azzopardi

T

hroughout her dynamic threedecade career, Melissa Etheridge has beat cancer and weathered the devastating emotional toll of the AIDS crisis. Having overcome her own battles, the music legend consequently became a beacon of strength, resilience and survival and has turned her tribulations into musical catharsis.

Given her collective courage in facing life’s most unexpected challenges, I decided to turn to her recently. I wrote to the music legend and LGBTQ activist on Twitter to ask if she’d be willing to speak to me about how she’s handling the unprecedented coronavirus pandemic and its resulting fallout the day after a national shutdown that closed schools, workplaces, restaurants and forced promoters and artists to cancel tours. Etheridge was about to play a long stretch of shows in the United States and Europe, but that was canceled too.

During our interview, Etheridge brought her cool head and optimistic outlook as we discussed the unsettling state of our dramatically changed world.

How are you? And I mean that.

You know, we are all well. We’re in the new day, the new world, like all of us, and trying to fig-ure this all out, but we’re all good.

Considering everything, I’m glad to hear that. This is our new not-normal normal, isn’t it? And it’s like,

how do we shift to this new life that we will be living for probably quite some time.

Yeah. Well, one, the music industry’s been hit so hard. I try not to worry, but it’s like ... I worry. My whole crew and band – I’m not making any money, and it’s like, whoa. All of a sudden it really hits you, and it’s like, come on, is this two weeks? One month? Two months?

How long am I not gonna make any money? I can certainly get by for a while, but my crew and stuff – I try not to worry. But it’s going to be a big, fat hardship.

You were about to go out on tour when some shows began being canceled because of COVID. Yeah, yeah. Well, it was gonna go till May and then I was gonna have a little bit off in May and June, and then I was gonna go over to Europe at the end of June and come back to America.

And you thought, for a time, that you’d brave it.

(Laughs.) Yeah. I was like, “No, no – I’m not scared of nothing!” But then, all of a sudden, it was like, “Oh, no, never mind. I get what we’re doing now.” It

became that the thing that we can do to keep this from spreading is to keep away from each other.

I took a run today and I don’t usually run, but I had your song ‘I Run for Life’ on and it was getting me through so I just looped it. I just played it four times in a row and ran through my neighborhood. It was a great feeling. And I’m realizing that we have to look to small joys right now. For me, that was a small joy. Where are you finding your small joys right now?

I’ll tell you what I’m doing and I just finished: I’ve been going live on Facebook every day at 3 o’clock PST. It just helps me so much. I do two or three songs and just say hey to people.

We kind of meet together at the same time and thousands of people all over the world are joining me and it really means a lot.

You said it helps you – how so?

Oh gosh, yes. ’Cause that’s what I do. I sing for people. And when a body sings, it heals. It brings just as much joy to me as it does to other people.

So in addition the financial impact

of canceling your tour, it sounds like there’s also a per-sonal loss for you.

Oh yeah. I had taken a big break the last time. I was on the road in November and I was like, “I’m gonna take the holidays off and really not get that going until March.” That’s a big, long break for me, and I like to get up in front of people and I like the adoration of thousands of peo-ple, you know (laughs). It makes me feel good! I’m a road person. I love gettin’ on the road with my crew and my band and playing music. I just love it. I do that. That’s what I do. I love it.

What’s so hard to come to terms with is that in times of crises, live music has helped heal. But we don’t have that now, and might not for a while.

Oh, it’s just awful.

But you’re doing what you can to connect with fans on social media.

How about connec-tions in your personal life? Is your family with you?

Yes. My two older kids – one is in New York City and she got out and

LGBTQSD.NEWS

ENTERTAINMENT

APRIL 10 - 23, 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 14

went to a friend’s in Washington, D.C. and she’s staying there. I have another in Denver and he’s OK. I wish they were all here. My two little ones are here with my wife, so we’re camping out here. And we take walks and do stuff – and we’re six feet from our neighbors, but we’re all much more friendly be-cause it’s that connection that we miss.

I remember you told me about three years ago when Trump got elected, ‘I will not fear.’ With this, are you scared?

Do you fear? And if not, how did you get to that place of fear-lessness?

It started 15 years ago with cancer, how I understood fear and how I understood what our every-day is made of, what our world and reality is made of and all its choices and that choice always comes down to two basic emotions: love or fear. All the other emotions can be categorized in there.

I have many choices of how to respond or react to this virus, to everything that’s going on with it. I could be very fearful. I could be fearful for my health, fearful for our system.

I could choose fear. Or I could look at it and go, “OK.” And sometimes it’s hard to do this, to say, “I’m going to look at this and I’m going to see what is the loving outcome that can happen here.” And I choose to do that every day.

Like I’ve said, I look at my neighbors and all of a sudden I’m looking them in the eyes, all of a sudden people are wanting that social connection. Take that away from us and all of a sudden we’re like, “Wait a minute.

I want that.” I think this is going to change our whole system. It’s going to change our education system, it’s going to change our health system, it’s going to change because there’s going to be such a humongous economic crash that we’re going to have to change the way our system is set up.

We will be forced to make major shifts in these various paradigms once we get through this.

Yeah. Big corporations are not gonna have anybody to buy their products soon if they don’t look and say, “Something’s gotta change.” And we’re going to change leadership. I truly believe that. I truly believe there will be a huge leadership change and it’s gonna be people with new ideas and new ways of doing this. So this sort of quantum leap that we all felt could come since 2012, there’s big change coming, and we all wanted it. It’s sort of like this big bow that’s been pulled back really far and finally there’s gonna be so much desire for that change now because of un-derstanding how interconnected we are. We’re gonna see that change, and 10 years from now we’re gonna look back and go, “Wow, it was really, really hard but I’m glad it happened because these changes were made.” So that’s how I don’t fear. I constantly think, what’s the good? Look for the helpers. Find the Italians singing on the balcony. There are beautiful things that show what our humanity is. That’s what we can do now. That’s how you don’t fear.

And I think you’re right: This will bring us into unity.

And it starts with leadership change and that’s going to come in a few months. I think it’s going to be huge. People are going to go, “That sucked, and we’re not going to go through that again.” (Laughs.)

What did you learn about pandemic panic from living through the worst of the AIDS pan-demic?

That there are really good, smart people in the world who were made for this, who were made to make change and to put pressure on government and institutions to change.

Really smart people that were born for this.

And they’re rising to the occasion right now.

How did the first livestream go?

Aww. It was so, so sweet. It felt so good, and it was so great to see people from all over the world. And that’s the thing: The whole world is going through this. The whole world! And music really goes beyond language and goes straight to the heart and I love that. I feel being a musician is being a healer.

A song that helped get you through your battle with cancer is helping me get through this, and it’s Patty Griffin’s ‘When It Don’t Come Easy,’ from her

9

make sure we have salad every day because this is not the time to not be healthy, so fresh produce is the thing.

What are you most grateful for right now?

My wife. Social media. I’m glad I got Netflix. And I’m really grateful for the neighborhood I live in. If I gotta be here every day, I’m grateful for my yard and my house.

Is there a song you sing while you’re washing your hands?

Some people are doing “Bring Me Some Water.” If you sing the first verse and the first line of the chorus.

“Bring me some water, I gotta wash my hands.” Bring me the water! (Laughs.)

(Courtesy Photos)

album ‘Impossible Dream,’ which I’ve had in heavy rotation while physically distancing. Where does a song like that take you?

Sometimes I don’t know what it is about a song that can do that, but a song can just hit a part of your emotional center and it can be in the voice, it can be in the music, it can be when she just sings, “If you get lost, I’ll come out and find you; if you forget my love, I’ll try to remind you, stay by you when it don’t come easy.” Just knowing that one human being sang that to another human being and then just knowing that it exists in our emotional world can fill that part of you up. So, I’m so grateful for all the other musicians who have inspired me and do that because that’s our job, and it’s our time to do our job now.

You’re feeling the call?

It’s funny: I’m feeling the call to perform.

I’m a little overwhelmed by the writing right now be-cause I’m right in the middle of it.

You sit down and you go, “It’s too big to look at, it’s right in front of your face.” There needs to be a little distance. Maybe in a few days, maybe when I see what this really is.

Then you might start jotting down some song lyrics?

Oh yeah. I was already in my writing mode. I was already starting to write for my next album. This is going to be a very interesting album. (Laughs.)

What are you listening to right now in your place with your family to help get you through this?

Reggae always makes me happy. Bob Marley. Some old-school stuff. But my wife and I watched “West Side Story” and then we watched Barbra Streisand in “On a Clear Day You Can See For-ever.” Barbra Streisand just makes you feel good. So we’re kind of finding comfort in that.

And I saw you were playing Monopoly.

Oh, yes. The kids love that. They love it a little too much (laughs).

It’s a long game, but you have a lot of time now.

We have a lot of time, and they are fierce – they’re not gonna quit. They play it till the end.

And toilet paper – you good?

It’s funny: Just a few months ago we were saying, “Why don’t we make hemp toilet paper? Wouldn’t that be great?” And I wrote to my friend and went, “Why didn’t we listen to ourselves? Why didn’t we start making hemp toilet paper?”

What were your quarantine essentials? Did you make a run over the weekend?

I actually just went this morning because we have a really great pantry. Because I have two kids, I kind of keep things stocked, so we were fine. But the thing that we always like to do is go to the market a lot because we like really fresh produce and fresh food and that’s the hard part. But I can’t find brown rice anywhere! So I’m hoping we can replenish and everybody will be OK. And I have to

What words of wisdom would you like me to send out to the LGBTQ community?

I would say a couple of things. Just because we’re isolating, don’t emotionally isolate. It’s easy for some of us in the LGBTQ community to do that. Find a way to connect with people. Find the people you can check in with every day and do that. Telephones, social media, whatever the way. And take care of yourself first. Stressful times really lower our immune system, so it’s super im-portant to drink a lot of water and to stay hydrated and exercise. Taking a run, taking a walk. Re-ally, really important. And also know that change happens – change always happens. And we’re in the midst of it. These are historical times. Come from love. And be smart and stay healthy but understand that this too shall pass. It always does, and it will. And there’s great change coming because of it. Good change. Beautiful change. For all of us.

As editor of Q Syndicate, the LGBTQ wire service, Chris Azzopardi has interviewed a multitude of superstars, including Cher, Meryl Streep, Mariah Carey and Beyoncé. His work has also ap-peared in The New York Times, Vanity Fair, GQ and Billboard. Reach him via Twitter @chrisazzopardi.

10

HOT DISH

APRIL 10 - 23, 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 14

LGBTQSD.NEWS

ASIAN INGREDIENTS FOR THE PANTRY AND AN EASY CHOW MEIN RECIPE

By Cesar A Reyes

C

ooking at home does not mean we have to forget some of the dishes or flavors we love when eating out. In this issue, we want to recommend some staple ingredients you can incorporate into your cooking to bring a Thai, Chinese, Japanese or Vietnamese influence to your table. With the following ingredients handily available in your pantry, don’t forget to pick up some fresh garlic, ginger, and scallions — and you will be on your way to putting some key flavors in any dish.

EASY CHOW MEIN RECIPE SAUCE:

2 tablespoons of oyster sauce 1 tablespoon of hoisin sauce 1 tablespoon of fish sauce ½ cup of chicken or vegetable stock 1/8 tablespoon of black pepper Mix in a bowl and set aside.

SOY SAUCE Probably the most recognizable ingredient in any Asian dish, soy sauce is a musthave if you want to start any Asian-inspired recipe off right.

This dark, salty-tasting sauce is brewed from soybeans and wheat. It’s very popular and a versatile staple that can be used for dipping, marinating and cooking.

FISH SAUCE This anchovy extract is used as a cooking sauce to add salty, savory taste to dishes; it’s a flavor you will recognize from Thai and Vietnamese cuisine.

A little bit of fish sauce goes a long way and will provide lots of flavor to a dish.

OYSTER SAUCE This thick, dark brown sauce is made from oyster extracts and is considered a staple in Chinese family-style dishes.

It is used to flavor meat and veggies or as a topping or dipping sauce. It has a salty and unique taste that enhances whatever it touches. Often used in Cantonese food.

SESAME OIL Made from toasted sesame seeds, this oil has a nutty, aromatic flavor. It is used as a condiment for seasoning, often added at the end of cooking to preserve its wonderful flavor.

It also has a strong taste so use it in small amounts.

RICE VINEGAR This vinegar has a more delicate level of acidity than most wine vinegars, it is clear in color and won’t affect the color of your dishes. It can be used for salad dressings, marinades and dipping sauces.

HOISIN SAUCE The name comes from the word “seafood,” but the sauce is made from grounded soybeans, starches and is seasoned with chilies, garlic, vinegar, sugar and five Chinese spices to create a salty and sweet taste for use in marinades, stir-fries, dipping and glazing meats. a good flavor option for veggan diets.

INGREDIENTS:

Protein (chicken, beef or shrimp) 1/8 tablespoon of black pepper 1 tablespoon of rice vinegar 3-5 chopped garlic cloves 1 ounce of ginger, very thinly sliced 1 bell pepper, seeds removed and thinly sliced ½ a cabbage, thinly sliced 3 green onions cut in half and lengthwise, then into two 4” slices 1 cup of bean sprouts (Vegetables can be whatever you want to put in so other things you can add are thinly sliced carrots, mushrooms or even thinly sliced celery) 10 ounces ready-to-use egg noodles or two packages of instant ramen noodles (you don’t need the flavor packet) cooked al dente and drained

IN A HIGH-HEAT PAN:

QUICK ASIAN MARINADE

2 tablespoons of oyster sauce 1 tablespoon of hoisin sauce 1 tablespoon of fish sauce 1 tablespoon rice vinegar 1 tablespoon of sugar 3 chopped garlic cloves 1 ounce of ginger, finely chopped 1 Thai chili, finely chopped (for a kick) Mix in a bowl and marinate your protein for 20-30 minutes

1 tablespoon of oil First, cook your protein (when completely cooked, remove and set aside, drain any liquid it might have released).

Now add 2 tablespoons of cooking oil to the pan and add ginger, garlic and bell peppers (mushrooms if you decided to use).

Stir-fry for 30 seconds.

Add hard vegetables if you decided to use (like carrots or celery). Stir-fry about a minute.

Add noodles and sauce and stir-fry until there is no moisture on the bottom of the pan.

Add bean sprouts, cabbage, green onions and protein.

Stir until ingredients are well cooked.

SERVE.

Sprinkle sesame seeds and 1 tablespoon of sesame oil.

FITNESS / PUZZLE

LGBTQSD.NEWS

APRIL 10 - 23, 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 14

Q Puzzle

(Photo by rawpixels.com)

DERNAISSANCE

QUICK

AND EFFECTIVE

LEG AND BUTT WORKOUT

By Blake and Gwen Beckom

I

11

f you have just 20 minutes, a bench, and a set of 10- to 20-pound dumbbells, you can do a total-body toning workout. For the sequence described in this article, you can begin with the first move, doing as many reps as you can for 50 seconds, then rest for 10 seconds and prepare to move onto the next exercise. Do this for a total of five moves before resting for one minute. Complete three rounds of these exercises.

First, start with a foot-elevated glute bridge. Lie on your back, bend your knees, and put your feet flat on the floor.

Keep your arms on the floor at shoulder level with your palms facing up, and then lift your hips until your body is in a straight line from your knees to your shoulders. Engage your core and lift your left knee up toward your chest. Hold this position for a second before lowering your left foot. Repeat this move on the right side.

Do as many reps that you can while staying in proper form for 50 seconds, then pause for 10 seconds before moving onto the next move.

Next, do lateral step-up shuffles. Start by standing on a step with your left foot, and your right foot flat on the floor two feet to the side. Slightly bend your knees, keeping your chest out. Keep your elbows close to your body and bent at 90 degrees. Keeping your knees bent, jump to your left by pushing off your left foot and replacing it with your

right foot onto the step. Then, push off your right foot and return to your starting position to complete one rep. Do as many reps as you can in 50 seconds, rest for 10, and move onto the next move.

Now, you will move onto Bulgarian split squats. Start by standing two feet in front of a step and extending your one leg back, placing that foot on the step and your hands on your hips. Lower your body as much as you can by bending your knees and keeping your shoulders back and your chest out. Hold this pose for a second, then return to start to complete one rep. Do as many reps as you can in 50 seconds, then rest for 10 seconds before switching to the opposite leg and repeating the exercise.

Sumo deadlifts are next. To do these, place a pair of dumbbells onto the floor in front of you, and stand with your feet three feet apart with your toes turned out. Bend your knees to squat, keeping your spine straight and chest up.

Grab your dumbbells, keeping your arms straight and slightly arching your lower back. Tighten your glutes, tilt your hips forward, and lift the dumbbells as you return to a standing position. Slowly return the weights to the floor to complete one rep. Do as many reps as you can in 50 seconds, rest for 10, and move onto the next move.

Then, you will move onto squat jacks. Stand with your feet hip-width apart and put

your hands together in front of your chest. Slowly bend your knees until you’re in a seated position with your knees bent at almost 90 degrees. From there, quickly jump your legs out and then back to your starting position to complete one rep. Do this in the lowered squat position for 50 seconds and then rest for 10 seconds before going back to the first move.

Complete three rounds of these entire exercises total.

Once you begin to see results, you can add some variety to make the exercising more challenging for you.

—Fitness Together Mission Hills offers personal training with qualified professionals by regular appointment in private suites.

Exercise and nutritional programs are custom designed to fit your needs and abilities.

Call 619-794-0014 for more information or to schedule a free fitness diagnostic and private training session. See what others are saying about us on Yelp

ACROSS 1 Irene of _Fame_ 5 Sound of three men in a tub 10 Bit of salt, for Stephen Pyles 14 Way to come 15 Stars that shoot off 16 Emerald lsle 17 _To ___ Foo Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar_ 18 “I knew ___ along!”

19 What fruits do in orchards 20 Laura Dern series set in Monterey, California 23 There’s a single runner 24 Treat to eat while dropping trou?

27 Jan. 1 until now 28 Unlikely to bite 32 Intense desires 33 Infuses with bubbles 36 Ginsberg’s “In Back of the ___” 37 Laura Dern series about a corporate executive who has a nervous breakdown 39 ___ Fein 41 Accounts of AnaÔs Nin and such 42 Really get into somebody 44 Costner character 45 Binges, briefly 48 Statistic in David Kopay’s sport 51 _ ___ Eclipse_ 53 Laura Dern movie about a coast-to-coast divorce 57 Prison sticker 59 Like a happy face that you put on 60 Inventor Elias 61 Himalayan legend 62 Dinah of a golf classic 63 Ivy League team 64 Calendar boxes 65 Many go down on them 66 Money from Lucy to Ethel QSyndicate.com

Solutions on page 14 DOWN 1 Gay rodeo guy 2 Rub some oil on 3 Like a tree’s cross section 4 _West Side Story_ Jet, e.g.

5 Prissy temper tantrum 6 Trent of Mississippi 7 Shaped like the office of the top homophobe 8 Witchcraft trials city 9 Greeting for Dolly 10 De Rossi’s wife 11 Earhart’s velocity 12 B’way hit sign 13 Cut 21 Chip company 22 It’s attractive and a bit of a shock 25 Lupino of _Women’s Prison_ 26 Immigrant’s subj.

29 Dry as a bone 30 Threesome that visited Mary 31 Green with a mostly unfabulous social life 33 She played the housekeeper on _ The Brady Bunch_ 34 Raison d’___ 35 Frida’s half-dozen 37 Frequent online exaggeration 38 Chicken hawk pads 39 Undercover agent 40 “I Got Rhythm” writer Gershwin 43 Organ pleasured

by Britten 45 Peter who played Lawrence 46 No pal of creationists 47 Hardest to catch 49 Whitman’s leaves 50 Eminem’s _ ___ Mile_ 52 Questionnaire choice 54 It’s for skin care 55 Hiker’s snack 56 Some of Mary’s lambs 57 Pink Floyd guitarist Barrett 58 “Isn’t ___ bit like you and me?” (“Nowhere Man”)

12

APRIL 10 - 23, 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 14

NEWS

LGBTQSD.NEWS

(Photo by rawpixels.com)

Learning a new skill is just a click away, especially while you are at home participating in social distancing.

We have gathered information on free online sites with courses you’ll want to take advantage of.

FREE ONLINE COURSES WHILE YOU’RE SAFE AT HOME

By Cesar A Reyes

COURSERA With nearly 4,000 courses from top universities covering almost every subject, you can use this time to learn a language, pick up a new skill like graphic design, earn a certification in IT and so much more. Coursera content is free with the option to upgrade and enroll in online degree or certificate programs. coursera.org

KANDENZE This site focuses on the creative field with more than 250 courses that combine art, design and technology — drawing, learning code, music, animation. Your free account will give you access to most of the courses and discussion forums, plus access to a portfolio builder to organize your newly learned skills. kadenze.com

KHAN ACADEMY This site is most helpful if you have kids and want to help them with test scores and learning or if you want to brush up on high school subjects. The free courses had test-prep, grade-specific math, reading, chemistry and art history. The academy also offers personal finance and career development courses to help you during this time of economic uncertainty. No account needed to access free content. khanacademy.org

CODECADEMY This website is dedicated specifically to teaching coding. Websites are made of code (if you did not know) and learning how to write it is actually a great skill to have if you want to get into the web design field. You can learn some of the most useful languages like HTML, CSS, JavaScript, jQuery, Python and PHP and do it within a browser using interactive tools. You can monitor your progress and organize lessons into complete modules so you learn lessons as you build. codecademy.com

SKILLSHARE If you want some bite-sized classes to learn something new in 15 minutes, Skillshare has more than 500 free classes covering film, writing, tech, lifestyle and much more. You can go at your own pace — with small lessons building up to a big course you want to explore. New members get two months free. skillshare.com

CLASS CENTRAL Our last recommendation: If you want to search by course type and get lots of options from some of the sites listed above, Class Central gives you results and options for your search interests. A great way to start a search for a specific subject. classcentral.com

YOUTUBE Yes, it’s not just to watch vintage videos or makeup tutorials but also, with plenty of professionals uploading free content, you can learn how to play a musical instrument, use computer software or build your own robot. You can discover so many videos with tips and full-on tutorials — and the best part?

It’s free. Also, if you want to have your own YouTube channel, the site has a great Creator Academy to help users learn platform strategy, video production and how to get started. youtube.com creatoracademy. youtube.com

LGBTQSD.NEWS

NEWS

APRIL 10 - 23, 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 14

13

(Photo by rawpixels.com)

STATE OF OUR PRIDE

By Fernando Zweifach López Jr Executive Director, San Diego Pride

T

hat our organization, community, and planet are currently facing is unprecedented. The continuing loss of daily connection, income, jobs, safety, security, health, and the devastating loss of life are traumatic impacts that we are all enduring. As those impacts reverberate through us all, know that your Pride Family, from our board, staff, and volunteers, all extend our love, sympathy, and strength to you all.

We are immensely lucky and grateful to live in San Diego, California, where our state and local agencies and leaders acted quickly and decisively to slow the spread of COVID-19. It is with the deepest love, gratitude, and respect for those essential workers who are on the frontlines to keep us safe, healthy, and fed that we implore the rest of us who are able to stay home and stay physically distant from each other to do so.

While early indications show us that we here in our state and county may have flattened the curve, it is incumbent upon all of us to continue taking seriously our personal responsibility

with regards to public health and abide by the directives given to us if we are to mitigate the spread, keep our losses as low as possible, and expedite being on the other side of this global crisis.

Safety is and always will be our number one priority at San Diego Pride.

While the future is unforeseeable, know that we continue to communicate and work closely with government and public health officials and will in no way move forward with our dates as planned if it is not safe and healthy to do so.

San Diego Pride is different from other Pride organizations around the world. We have a full-time staff, give out community grants and scholarships, have year-round education and advocacy programs, have healthy financial reserves to protect us against the unforeseeable, and are held together by an incredible base of skilled volunteers who give their time all year long. All of those factors combined are allowing us to continue our Pride 365 programming and planning virtually while we prepare for a variety of possible outcomes for our Pride celebration.

Pride 2020: Our annual Pride events bring our community together every year in celebration, protest, and mourning. These massive events require no less than a full year of the coordination of hundreds of nonprofits, businesses, and entertainers, and thousands of volunteers. While we work to understand when the actual date of Pride will be whether in the summer, fall or in 2021, that work is continuing remotely as it is vital regardless of the actual date of the event. Additionally, we are assessing virtual actions and opportunities to help our community connect as alternatives and additions to our regular programming.

Globally, we are working with the InterPride network, of which we are founding members, to establish a virtual Global Pride that will be held on June 27 and bring together Prides from all over the world. We will find ways for local engagement and our marketing

team has taken a leadership role on the planning team.

Pride Programs: Our year-round education and advocacy programs continue to meet remotely to plan their future events and envision virtual community space and educational opportunities. Those include our #MeTooLGBTQ Conference which supports LGBTQ survivors of sexual assault, as well as our women’s, Latinx, trans, servicemember, QAPIMEDA programs, and more. Particularly vital and inspiring are our youth programs, which have increased their (virtual) meetups and have adapted well to this new technology and reality. For more information on those programs and how to connect you can follow us on social media and head to sdpride.org/programs.

Community Support: Our team worked quickly to create an LGBTQspecific community resource page that is constantly being updated. The page can be found at sdpride.org/covid19resource and contains LGBTQ related health & wellness, legal, spiritual, mutual aids, small business, social support, and more.

We have also worked to use our reach to signal boost ways to support our local LGBTQ businesses, entertainers, and nonprofits and will continue to do so. One of our community’s and Pride’s strengths is an abundance of dedicated volunteers. We have been able to put out calls for volunteers who are healthy, willing, and able to support direct service agencies like Mama’s Kitchen. Organizations in need of this type of support may reach out directly to volunteer@sdpride.org.

I truly believe in our community’s ability to address this global tragedy with integrity and compassion. The innovative support I’ve seen our community engage in along with the smarts, grit, and passion of our Pride Family all gives me hope. The ingenuity and resolve of our community that shines through in times of crisis are beautiful to behold and are of greatly needed comfort. We must continue to combat this new virus with a determined and focused response that honors our most vulnerable, and do so while combating the rise in hate and violence that has been targeted at our Asian communities. We will fight this together, and Together We Rise.

14

APRIL 10 - 23, 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 14

COURT NEWS / BUSINESS & SERVICES

LGBTQSD.NEWS

Dennis James Lepage (Courtesy photos)

ROOM FOR RENT KENSINGTON ROOM FOR RENT near SDSU and transportation. Furnished, utilities and internet. Working professional or student. No smoking, drugs, drama, pets, overnight guests. Rent $1000.

Dep $500. 619-204-2762

BUSINESS & SERVICES

1975 GAY HOMICIDE SOLVED WITH DNA

ATTORNEY

By Neal Putnam

A

fter 44 years, a 1975 gay homicide has been considered solved and a New York man is awaiting extradition to San Diego on a murder charge.

The slaying of 28-year-old Alvaro Marquez Espeleta has been investigated for decades, but new technology in DNA and fingerprint analysis have led to identification of a suspect, Dennis James Lepage, now 63, who has been charged with murder in San Diego Superior Court.

Espeleta was a dental technician in the Navy and when he didn’t show up for work, two co-workers went to his home in the 3200 block of Reynard Way on Dec. 31, 1975.

They discovered Espeleta’s nude body on his bed at 9 a.m. with a lot of blood covering his head and chest. They called San Diego Police and investigators saved items in the apartment that links the slaying to Lepage, according to an arrest warrant affidavit.

Lepage was 18 years old at the time and was stationed here in the Navy. He was later discharged from the Navy on a “bad conduct” charge following a conviction in a special court martial, the affidavit says.

Lepage was arrested Jan. 24 in Troy, New York, and was transported to an Albany County detention facility on a no bail warrant signed by San Diego Superior Court Judge Runston Maino.

Lepage, using a cane, appeared Feb. 3 in Rensselaer County Court in New York. Since then, Gov. Gavin Newsom has signed an extradition warrant which

is a legal demand that allows a prisoner be returned to the state where he faces charges.

The courts here are closed until April 6 because of the coronavirus and his extradition could take several more months.

Espeleta was strangled and suffered blunt force trauma. He did not smoke, but cigarette butts found in the apartment were saved along with a bloody towel in the bathroom that reportedly contained Lepage’s blood, according to the court affidavit.

A palm print was found in the bathroom and police officer Lori Adams submitted a lab request for latent print analysis on Aug. 15, 2019 to have the prints re-examined and compared. A fingerprint examiner identified Lepage as the source of palm print impressions on the inside bathroom door and sink.

Lepage’s fingerprint was also found on a Miller beer bottle on top of a trash can in the kitchen. The DNA from a bloody bathroom towel later matched Lepage’s DNA, according to the affidavit.

The palm and fingerprints were analyzed many times, but no matches were found. They were placed in the Automated Latent Print System in 1989.

However, Lepage was arrested in 2010 on a misdemeanor restraining order violation in Massachusetts in which his prints were taken and eventually led to a match, according to court documents.

The Naval Criminal Investigative Service again looked at the case in 2019,

and they assigned a team to conduct surveillance on Lepage after the DNA and fingerprints were matched to him.

The NCIS team obtained items in the trash that were discarded by Lepage’s roommate on Sept. 25, 2019. They included a coffee cup and a Diet Canada Dry bottle, and that was the same DNA profile found on items in Espeleta’s apartment, the affidavit says.

Lepage enlisted in the Navy at age 17 and is originally from Springfield, Massachusetts. He has been married and divorced three times, and has five daughters and one son.

Espeleta was described as a quiet person who never talked about women. An acquaintance said he last saw Espeleta with a white male near the Greyhound bus depot downtown, according to San Diego Crime Stoppers, who put his photo on a flyer and asked for the public’s help in solving the murder.

Another Navy man told police he last saw Espeleta coming out of an arcade next to a jewelry store on the corner of Broadway and Front Street with a white male who was between 20-25 years old.

All of the San Diego Police officers who worked on the case are now deceased, but they left detailed reports about witnesses they interviewed.

Other agencies that assisted in the investigation were the sheriff’s departments in San Diego and Albany County, New York State Police, New York State Safe Streets Task Force, and the DA’s office.

PUZZLE SOLUTION

stay informed keep calm and stay home

DERNAISSANCE

FROM PAGE 11

COMPUTER/IT SUPPORT