LGBTQ San Diego County News, Volume 1, Issue 10, Feb. 14-27, 2020

LGBTQSD.NEWS

FEBRUARY 14-27, 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 10

FEBRUARY 14-27, 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 10

ENTERTAINMENT

Meghan Trainor is living her best life C10 on stage CLYBOURNE PARK at Tenth Avenue Arts Center C12

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LGBTQSD.NEWS

NIGHT LIFE

COMMUNITY VOICES

Conversations with Nicole C7

Life Beyond Therapy C8

Big Mike & Friends C9

Trans Talk with Connor Black Trans American Pioneers C16

The Bar Social Scene A Guide to Navigating Nightlife While Partnered C18 Different Strokes 35 year swimming with pride C4

Mayor and Police Chief Reach Out to New York Gay Fathers C5

Positively in Love The Star of ‘Merce’ on Dating with HIV C14 41 Years of Love & Devotion Reflection C15

(Courtesy photo)

CAPI 2020

Why is San Diego Pride in July?

Strategy for our movement is the short answer.

By Fernando Lopez, San Diego Pride

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ew Match Collective is the only theater company in San Diego to exclusively employ womxn and gender queer performers. According to its mission statement, the collective exists to start a flame in the hearts of creatives and bring “Voice to the voiceless.

Hear the unheard. See the unseen.” Fête Noire is a festival celebrating Black History Month and artists across the African diaspora.

n 1969, the Stonewall Riots against legal police brutality toward our community inspired organizers in New York City, Chicago, San Francisco, and Los Angeles to hold “Christopher Street Liberation Day Marches” in 1970 — the origins of Pride events as we know them today. As Pride events began to sprout up in more cities across the country and the world, they evolved into more than just marches — they became opportunities for us to make community connections while building political power.

Back when all Prides attempted to be on the same weekend in June, it limited our LGBTQ organizations’ abilities to be in every city, to build supporter lists, and to grow our organizations. Pride organizers began to talk about how we could better coordinate our events and in turn better serve our communities.

In 1981, San Diego Pride board member Doug Moore helped to create InterPride, the international association of Prides, and in 1987, regional associations formed Consolidated Association of Prides, Incorporated (CAPI). 1990 San Diego Pride was nearly rained out. With Prides already moving to different dates, it helped make our choice easier, and the decision was made to leave “June gloom” behind for the warmer and sunnier month of July.

These regional and international networks of Pride organizations still meet once a year for the CAPI and InterPride conferences respectively. We bring together our movement’s activists and organizations to share strategies, political pull, resources, and best practices, and this year we’ll be hosting one of the largest and most regionally diverse CAPI conferences in a long time.

Fête Noire continues on C19

CAPI 2020 continues on C2

Read the list of endorsements on Page 3

FÊTE NOIRE A CELEBRATION OF BLACK CULTURE

By M.G. Perez Senior Reporter

CELEBRATING

BLACK HISTORY MONTH

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CANNABIS 21+

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10% OFF ENTIRE PURCHASE

COUPON MUST BE PRESENT. CANNOT BE COMBINED. EXCLUDES DISCOUNTED ITEMS.

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NEWS

FEBRUARY 14-27, 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 10

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CAPI 2020 continued from Page 1 From Thursday, Feb. 27, through Sunday, March 1, San Diego Pride will be hosting the 2020 CAPI Conference at the DoubleTree in Mission Valley.

Around 150 Pride organizers and professionals will take part in four days of movement building, networking, and education from 63 presenters at 46 workshops and events.

From within the U.S., organizations will be attending from as far away as Florida, Massachusetts, Washington, and Texas. We will even have Prides coming from Montreal, Canada, and all across Mexico.

Plenary Sessions will address important issues facing our community. Rich Segal, from Lambda Legal, will present on the upcoming Title VII case before the Supreme Court. Brian Silva, from the National Equality Action Team, will address our ability to nationally mobilize grassroots organizing as we face a rise in anti-LGBTQ legislation around the country. San Diego Pride’s own Education & Advocacy Manager Jen LaBarbera will speak on how Prides can engage in nonpartisan get-outthe-vote efforts to ensure our community shows up every Election Day. Workshops at the conference attempt to find a balance of practical support on subjects like legal protections, budgeting, SOPs, and parade logistics while also inspiring our social justice side. Just some of the workshops I’m most excited for are the following:

• Facing Racism in the Rainbow: POC inclusivity and empowerment • Disability Justice + Pride Justice: Creating accessible Pride events • Embody Pride: Prides as a tool for LGBTQ mental, physical and sexual health • LGBTQ+ Youth Pride: Meaningful youth engagement at Pride • Know the T!: Trans-inclusive LGBTQ Pride and Trans Pride events • A Space of Our Own: Building inclusive LGBTQ+ women’s spaces • Silver Pride: Ensuring we welcome and celebrate the Stonewall generation

Pride events from large metropolitan areas to small rural communities are still some of the most powerful and meaningful spaces our community has. They are often the first time and place a newly out LGBTQ person goes to discover found-family, community, and even who they truly are. Prides represent an opportunity to be free. How we approach that responsibility matters. While many may still think of Pride events as nothing more than a party, I will challenge two things: 1) Civic spaces where LGBTQ people

(Courtesy photo)

“It is a huge honor to be a small part of the continuum of collaborative work that began decades ago.”

— Fernando Lopez

can celebrate while being 100% themselves are few and far between, and so fighting for and working toward their existence is a social justice issue, and 2) If you go beyond the surface of our beautiful rainbows and sparkling glitter, you will find breadth and depth of meaningful education, civic engagement, and direct

service that build up our community and movement.

It is a huge honor to be a small part of the continuum of collaborative work that began decades ago. I am beyond proud of the incredible work our staff, board, and volunteers have done to showcase our beautiful city and underscore our Pride 365 model of

civic engagement. I’m so looking forward to hosting the representatives from 45 cities from across the U.S., Canada, and Mexico as we learn from one another for what promises to be another challenging year for our community, but I am faithful that “Together We Rise.”

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FEBRUARY 14-27, 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 10

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2020 OFFICIAL ENDORSEMENTS MARCH 3, 2020 PRIMARY ELECTION The following are the LGBTQ SAN DIEGO COUNTY NEWS 2020 official endorsements that are our top priorities!

Please see the 2020 GLBT VOTER GUIDE on page 2 and the SAN DIEGO DEMOCRATS FOR EQUALITY official endorsements on page 5.

PRESIDENT: Pete Buttigieg - This is a new era of challenges and Buttigieg is the new generation of leadership.

CONGRESS: District 53: Georgette Gomez - Let us prove that a “district-hopping millionaire” candidate can’t buy this seat!

District 50: Ammar Campa-Najjar - Dedicated to public service. Highly endorsed by many respected colleagues, diverse political officials and many community organizations.

The 48th Monarchs Pepper Price and Randy Saunders Too

STATE ASSEMBLY: District 78: Chris Ward - The most qualified candidate for this seat. He is passionate about equality, the environment and our homelessness crisis.

COUNTY BOARD OF SUPERVISORS: District 1: Nora Vargas - A true public servant who will fight and give a voice to the voiceless.

District 2: Kenya Taylor - She will be a dedicated public servant.

District 3: Olga Diaz - A proven champion for social justice.

SAN DIEGO CITY: Mayor: Todd Gloria - A current public servant who is the most qualified candidate ever to run for mayor. Let’s make history by electing the first mayor of color who also happens to be GAY. City Attorney: Mara Elliot - The choice is very clear!

City Council District 3: Stephen Whitburn - Another true public servant whose background includes leadership positions with the Red Cross and the American Cancer Society. Don’t be fooled by candidate Chris Olsen, who is supported by Trump Republicans....vote Stephen Whitburn!

City Council District 9: Kelvin Barrios – Giving a voice to the neighborhoods of District 9.

Queen Mother I of the Americas Nicole Murray Ramirez and King Father I of the Americas Terry Sidie

IMPERIAL COURT de SAN DIEGO ELECTS 48TH MONARCHS

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EDUCATION: San Diego Unified School Board: District A: Stephen Groce – A much-needed new voice from a father who truly cares for all students.

District E: Lawana Richmond – The No. 1 choice of community organizations.

CARLSBAD CITY COUNCIL: District 1: Cari Schumacher – A respected community voice.

CHULA VISTA CITY COUNCIL: District 3: Steven Padilla - One of the hardest-working council members in the county!

BALLOT MEASURES: Vote YES ON C! - The Convention Center and homelessness measure.

RESPECTFULLY, LGBTQ SAN DIEGO COUNTY NEWS Terry Sidie

Nicole M. Ramirez

Publisher

City Commissioner Associate Publisher

(Courtesy photos)

n Feb. 8, long-time transgender activist Pepper Price was elected as the 48th Empress de San Diego and LGBTQ black activist and charity fundraiser Randy Saunders Too was elected the 48th Emperor. Pepper Price is an ordained minister and a long-time transgender advocate, has a program at the LGBTQ Community Center called “Diamonds in the Rough,” and has been with her husband for more than 32 years.

The weekend was full of events with “royal visitors” from Imperial Court chapters within 70 cities in the U.S., Canada and Mexico.

One of the major highlights of the Coronation Charity Ball was the anointing and crowning of the “King Father I of the Americas,” Sacramento businessman and publisher of LGBTQ San Diego County News, Mr. Terry Sidie. His crowning was themed after the historic crowning ceremony of Emperor I Napoleon of France minus the Pope! The Reigning Titular Head and Absolute Monarch of the International Imperial Court System, San Diego City Commissioner Nicole Murray Ramirez (Queen Mother I of the Americas) presided over the regal ceremony along with her heirs from throughout the three nations. More than $20,000 in grants were given out by the International Imperial Court Council and Imperial Court de San Diego to AIDS agencies, Tijuana LGBTQ refugees, student scholarships and civil rights organizations — including registration and Get Out the Vote campaigns of GLBT Vote 2020, and the civil rights arm of the American courts, The National GLBT Civil Rights Network U.S.A. The members of the International Imperial Court Council met in San Diego for two days and the Queen Mother, Empress Nicole the Great set three agenda items and priorities for 2020 with “GLBT VOTE 2020” as a major focus. The 47th Emperor and Empress, Darnelle and Gigi, ended their yearlong productive reign and welcomed the newly elected monarchs. Everyone is invited to join the Imperial Court de San Diego at its first meeting next Wednesday, Feb. 19, at 7:30 p.m. at the Center. Further info: Emperor Randy Saunders Too at 619-315-3996, Empress Pepper Diamond at 619-581-6493, or Richard Poole at 619-288-1183. www.imperialcourtsandiego.com

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NEWS

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DIFFERENT STROKES

35 YEAR SWIMMING WITH PRIDE

By Franklin Maphis Social Chair, DSST

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an Diego’s LGBTQ swim team, “Different Strokes” (DSST), is celebrating its 35-year anniversary!

Established in June of 1985

by LGBTQ triathletes Mark Wussler and Bart Hopple, DSST began as a training ground for San Diego swimmers looking to compete in the second Gay Games in San Francisco. Since that time, the team has not only grown but continues to thrive and embed itself deeper into the San Diego and swimming communities.

To celebrate this milestone, the team is focusing on its foundations and fine-tuning the things they’ve always done best: competing, giving back to the community, training, recruiting, and diversifying their membership.

This year, they’ve already hit the ground running when it comes to competition. In January, more than a dozen DSST members traveled to Las Vegas to compete in the Sin City Classic, which draws more than 8,000 participants across more than 20 sports and is currently the world’s largest LGBTQ sporting event.

Of the 35 competing swim teams, DSST placed third overall and placed first among LGBTQ teams.

To build upon the momentum created by the team’s success in Las Vegas, DSST, under their newly elected captain, Todd MacDonald, now have their sights focused on increasing their presence in competitions. “We’re taking a fresh inventory of our strengths as a competitive team and what we have to work on. Not all swimmers want to compete. Some swim because they like the team, our social events, and our incredible coaches. There’s room here for everyone.”

In an effort to strengthen connections within the local LGBTQ community, DSST have reinvented and broadened several of their social events to include other LGBTQ athletic clubs. Most recently, DSST formally invited San Diego’s LGBTQ soccer team to be their “dates” for a Valentine’s Day social event they are hosting at MO’s. “The soccer team graciously accepted, and we’re looking forward to a fun, campy evening with them,” said DSST Social Chair Franklin Maphis.

Later in the year, they will be hosting a private bowling tournament and extending challenges to a local softball team and running club to join them in friendly competition.

“We’ve made a commitment this year to develop more

unity and interaction between other athletes and members of our community. Many of our members participate in multiple sports, and swimming has a lot to offer other athletes in the form of cross-training and improving conditioning,” said James Coloma, the team’s president.

In alignment with the team’s founding principles, giving back to the community remains an ongoing focus for DSST in 2020. The team has a strong history of contributing financially to community organizations. In fact, DSST broke its all-time record in contributions last year, raising funds for Mama’s Kitchen through its annual Bart Hopple Memorial Fundraiser and swim.

Named after one of the team’s founders, the proceeds of this annual event are donated to HIV support organizations in his honor. This year, DSST will combine their anniversary celebration with this event in hopes of outperforming last year’s record-breaking fundraising result.

To push this commitment even further, DSST will be providing hands-on volunteer support for three community events: the AIDS Walk, The Recovery Ride, and an annual event benefiting law enforcement officers and firefighters.

“We’re hoping that by being more visible in the community, we will be able to meet and attract new members and give people a better opportunity to learn about our team,” said Membership Coordinator Anselm Lee. “A common misconception is that you have to already be a great swimmer to join or feel comfortable swimming with us. That’s just absolutely not true. We welcome swimmers of all levels, and our expert coaches are familiar with how to make sure everyone is included and gets something out of our practices.”

To that end, DSST offers a “no catch,” 30-day free trial membership. In addition, in honor of their anniversary, DSST has just introduced a 50% discounted rate for students. Signing up is simple and available online at DSST. org. More information about DSST, along with videos and photos, can be found on Facebook and Instagram.

Anyone with questions about joining DSST — or about the team in general — can follow them on Facebook or Instagram (@diffstrokeswim), visit them online at DSST.org, or look out for them at Urban MO’s on Valentine’s Day evening from 7-10 pm.

Different strokes swim team (Courtesy photo)

NEWS

LGBTQSD.NEWS

MAYOR AND POLICE CHIEF

REACH OUT TO NEW YORK GAY FATHERS

By LGBTQ San Diego County News

(Courtesy photo)

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recent homophobic incident between a San Diego Uber driver and two married gay dads from New York received national media attention and continued criticism of how Uber conducts business and its relationship with the LGBTQ community.

The two husbands/fathers and their 1-year-old child flew into San Diego from Hawaii during vacation for a stopover visit to the San Diego Zoo. The men called an Uber to take them to the Marriott Hotel by the Bay. On their way to the hotel, the Uber driver began to question the two passengers as to where the baby’s mother was and when the men tried to explain that they were married and the legal fathers of their child, the Uber driver proceeded to tell them that “even Jesus had a mother.” After the continuation of a most uncomfortable ride to their hotel and checking into their room, the two men called the Uber complaint line to inform the company of the homophobic incident. Uber responded only by informing the men that their ride to the hotel would not be charged. They then retired for the night with their child when at 1:30 a.m., there was a knock on their hotel room door and standing before them were two San Diego Harbor Police officers who uncomfortably began to question them. It soon became apparent to the two men that the Uber driver had called the police about his concern about a “motherless baby” and the possibility of child endangerment or child kidnapping/child trafficking.

The following morning, when City Commissioner Nicole Murray Ramirez was informed, he immediately contacted San Diego Police Chief David Nisleit, who was on vacation but quickly looked into the incident and gave a full report back to Commissioner Ramirez. The two men and their child flew back to New York after the traumatic incident and received a phone call from Commissioner Ramirez expressing his outrage that such an incident happened in San Diego and promised the New Yorkers that our city would contact Uber. After discussions with Ramirez, both Mayor Kevin Faulconer and Chief Nisleit called the men to express their concern and apologized for the homophobic incident. The mayor’s office contacted Uber officials to express their outrage at such treatment and Uber’s handling of the situation. Uber committed to rectifying the situation. Commissioner Ramirez stated that there would be a complete report and follow-through with Uber so that no LGBTQ+ family would again be subjected to such treatment. Also, Ramirez commended and thanked Mayor Faulconer and Police Chief Nisleit for their quick response and immediate outreach to the New York family.

Mayor Faulconer issued the following statement to LGBTQ San Diego County News: “San Diego is a city that accepts and embraces all people — regardless of color, gender, religion or who they choose to love. The discriminatory ride-share experience described by visitors does not represent the values we hold as San Diegans. San Diego welcomes this family, and all LGBTQ+ individuals, openly to our city.”

“San Diego Uber driver and two married gay dads from New York received national media attention and continued criticism of how Uber conducts business and its relationship with the LGBTQ community.”

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CITY ATTORNEY NEWS

PUBLIC SERVICE / OPINION

LGBTQSD.NEWS

LGBTQ San Diego County News PO Box 34664 San Diego, CA 92163 858.886.9458

SKILLED NEGOTIATIONS

PUBLISHER Terry Sidie

SAVE TAXPAYERS’ MONEY

ASSOCIATE PUBLISHER Nicole Murray Ramirez nicolemrsd1@gmail.com 619-241-5672

Mara W. Elliott —Mara W. Elliott was elected City Attorney of San Diego in 2016 after serving as the chief deputy attorney for the Office’s Public Services Section and legal adviser to the city’s Independent Audit Committee and Environment Committee. Elliott and the lawyers in her section held polluters accountable, reformed city contracting, cut administrative red tape, and strengthened the city’s living wage and non-discrimination in contracting ordinances.

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s your city attorney, I advise the City Council, defend the city in litigation, civilly and criminally prosecute violations of the law, and protect taxpayer dollars so that the money can be used to advance the interests of our communities.

When it comes to litigation, you might picture lawyers waging a dramatic battle in a courtroom trial. However, a skilled negotiator can often find a way to avoid a costly trial by working out a settlement that is acceptable to both sides, thereby saving a tremendous amount of time and money – your money.

Deputy city attorneys are trained to assess liability and obtain fair outcomes for taxpayers when the city is at fault. I’d like to recognize some of those attorneys, and to highlight the positive outcomes they’ve reached on behalf of our citizens.

• In 2018, a man filed a lawsuit to halt the Rock ‘n’ Roll Marathon because of noise associated with the event. Deputy City Attorney Dana Fairchild successfully defended the city by persuading the judge to deny the requested injunction.

Last year, the same citizen threatened to bring another lawsuit. With help from

(Photo by rawpixels.com)

the City’s Special Events Department, Dana worked with the resident to address his concerns. The diplomatic efforts paid off – the parties created a plan to abate the noise, the popular event went forward as planned, and the city avoided a new lawsuit.

• Last year, Deputy City Attorney Lynn Beekman negotiated the dismissal of a lawsuit over the city’s denial of a homeowner’s application to get title to the city’s unused public rights-of-way that ran in front of, and behind, his home. The view out his front window of a “dying” tree on the city’s rightof-way proved to be the issue that concerned him most. The city’s arborist determined that the tree was struggling, but did not need to be replaced. The homeowner disagreed. He argued his case, without a lawyer, with great passion and intensity. After much discussion about possible alternatives to litigation,

the parties resolved the case. The resident agreed to waive the costs and replace the tree at no cost to the city.

• In 2017, nine homeless people filed a federal class-action lawsuit alleging the city violated their constitutional rights through enforcement of its Encroachment Ordinance, which prohibits persons from obstructing the public right-of-way with their belongings. The city argued that the belongings impede the city’s ability to keep the streets safe and clean for all; however, the homeless individuals said they had nowhere else to store their belongings.

The judge suggested the parties to the litigation attend a ride-along with the City’s Homeless Outreach Team (also known as the HOT Team). The judge and lawyers spent a summer morning in the East Village with the HOT Team, and toured the Alpha Project Bridge Shelter to see how many storage

facilities the city provides to homeless individuals.

This field trip was an essential step in finding common ground.

Deputy City Attorneys Marni von Wilpert and Dave Abad worked with the plaintiffs to craft an agreement requiring the city to open a third transitional storage facility for the homeless. In addition, police who are in contact with a homeless individual who has violated the ordinance must offer services, including offering a bed or storage bin, before an arrest can be made. While the city paid reasonable attorney’s fees to the plaintiff’s lawyer, no other monetary damages were awarded, putting an end to a complicated and expensive case.

These are just some examples of how your deputy city attorneys are working hard every day, often behind the scenes, to resolve conflicts and reach solutions that save taxpayers’ money.

CREATIVE DIRECTOR Cesar A. Reyes creativedirector@lgbtqsd.news EDITOR editor@lgbtqsd.news SENIOR STAFF REPORTER M. G. Perez SALES sales@lgbtqsd.news STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER Big Mike Phillips Bmsd1957@gmail.com 619-807-7324 COPY EDITOR Dustin Lothspeich WEB AND SOCIAL MEDIA info@lgbtq.news CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Big Mike Phillips Chris Azzopardi Connor Maddocks Declan Robers Fernando Lopez Franklin Maphis Korie Houston Mara W. Elliott Michael Kimmel Neal Putman William (Bill) E. Kelly DISTRIBUTION LGBTQ San Diego County News is distributed free every other Friday of the month. © 2020. All rights reserved.

OPINION/LETTERS LGBTQ San Diego County News encourages letters to the editor and guest editorials. Please email them directly to editor@lgbtqsd.news and include your name, phone number and address for verification. We reserve the right to edit letters for brevity and accuracy. Letters and guest editorials do not necessarily reflect the views of the publishers or staff.

SUBMISSION/NEWS TIPS Press releases and story ideas are welcomed. Send press releases, tips, photos or story ideas to editor@lgbtqsd.news. For breaking news and Investigative story ideas, contact the editor by phone or email.

Copyright © 2020 LGBTQ San Diego County News Editor’s Note: The opinions written in this publication’s editorial and opinion pages are the author’s own and does not necessarily represent the opinions of the staff and/or publisher of LGBTQ San Diego County News. The newspaper and its staff should be held harmless of liability or damages.

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COMMUNITY VOICES

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Conversations with Nicole Being Alive: 30 years of love

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On Feb. 24, Being Alive San Diego celebrates 30 years of loving and caring for children, women and men living with HIV/AIDS. Their celebration gala, 30 Years of HIV/AIDS Heroes, will feature San Diego first lady Katherine Stuart Faulconer as host. Thirty years ago, during those dark days when indeed AIDS = DEATH, Scott Carlson, Dr. Brad Truax, Bruce Mitchell, Colton Moulton actually met in an attic to establish an AIDS organization that would join the then-named AIDS Assistance Fund to help HIV-positive San Diegans, whose numbers were mounting by the hundreds every month. Being Alive gave their clients not only care and help but the latest in news of AIDS research and developments and directed them to doctors who would treat them with dignity and compassion. Being Alive would actually throw “Christmas in July” parties knowing so many of their clients would not survive till December.

Being Alive continues to be the largest enrollment site for HIV/ AIDS care, medication, food bank, etc. They now service more than 10,000 clients and operate under one of the most beloved executive directors (voted “Outstanding Woman of the Year” at the 2017 Nicky Awards), Shannon Wagner. Please support their 30th anniversary gala. For tickets or more information, call gala chairs Big Mike Phillips at 619-807-7324, Mikie Lochner at 619972-6369 or Miguel Angel Donaty at 619-857-0514.

Nicole Murray Ramirez —Nicole Murray Ramirez has been writing a column since 1973. He has been a Latino/gay activist for almost half a century and has advised and served the last seven mayors of San Diego. Named the ‘Honorary Mayor of Hillcrest’ by a city proclamation, he has received many media awards including from the prestigious San Diego Press Club. Reach Nicole at Nicolemrsd1@gmail.com and follow him on Twitter @Nmrsd2.

One more year for LGBTQ San Diego exhibit!!

Bayard Rustin Honors: March 13

Great news! The acclaimed, awardwinning LGBTQ+ San Diego exhibit at the San Diego History Center, “Stories of Struggles and Triumphs,” will continue for one more year in Balboa Park. In collaboration with LAMBDA Archives, it has become one of the most acclaimed LGBT community exhibits in the nation. It’s our history! San Diego History Center, 1649 El Prado.

SanDiegoHistory.org, 619-232-6203

Please mark your calendar for Friday, March 13, when the LGBTQ African American community celebrates “Black Pride” and honors LGBT activists, as well as black allies and supporters. The 2020 honorees include: The Malcom X Library, Earnest McGray, Damon Shearer and Christina Griffin-Jones. March 13 will be a night of Pride, soul food, and outstanding entertainment! For further information, please contact Darnelle at 619-737-7326.

18th Children’s Easter Egg Hunt Yes, this annual event is now in its 18th year and, at times, draws more than 500 children. Although this event is scheduled for April 12, it takes months of planning, so we are starting to ask for donations and children’s bikes (ages 3-13) to be raffled. We also need baskets, toys, etc.

For further information, please contact Robert Rodriguez at 619-817-9926 or James Ramirez at jessicadfab@gmail.com

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COMMUNITY VOICES

LGBTQSD.NEWS

GET IN TOUCH WITH YOUR INNER COWBOY

Take a moment, sit still and close your eyes.

Ask your inner cowboys to come forth and talk to you. Be open and curious about them, cowboys like to feel respected.

LIFE BEYOND THERAPY Michael Kimmel

— Michael Kimmel

—Michael Kimmel is a licensed psychotherapist who specializes in helping LGBT clients achieve their goals and deal with anxiety, depression, grief, sexually addictive behavior, coming out, relationship challenges and homophobia.

Contact him at 619-955-3311 or visit lifebeyondtherapy.com.

I

love cowboys because they:

• Are steady and sweet.

• Keep their cards close to their chests.

• Only open up when they know you’re trustworthy.

• Are solid and low-key in their loving (platonic and romantic).

• Know a lot about animals and how to care for them.

• Are respectful to others, especially elders and people in need of protection.

• Love to be outside, in nature.

• Keep their word.

• Are low-drama and dependable.

• Don’t care much about celebrities, fancy clothes or fancy events.

I grew up in rural Ohio, so we really didn’t have cowboys — we had “farmboys,” our own version. These were the guys in school who weren’t the quarterbacks, but comprised most of the defensive line on the football team. They weren’t known for

(Photo by rawpixels.com)

being academic stars, but they were definitely who you wanted on your side when the shit hit the fan.

When we were in high school, Jim, one of our farmboy neighbors, got spinal meningitis, a rarity for small town Ohio. Jim and his sister, Linda, rode the same school bus as my siblings and I. We saw Jim look more

events@TheCenTer The San Diego LGBT Community Center • 3909 Centre Street • 619-692-2077 • www.thecentersd.org

Couples Testing The Center wants you, and your sweetie, to #BeTheGeneration that lives out, long, healthy, and unafraid. That’s why we are proud to provide free and confidential Couples Testing, an opportunity for budding, new, and long term couples to discuss, establish, or revise sexual agreements for their relationship and to prepare a risk-reduction plan based on the HIV status of both partners. Testing is available Monday – Friday, 9am – 8pm and Saturday, 10am – 3pm. Appointments are preferred. To make an appointment, call 619.692.2077 x101 or learn more about #BeTheGeneration at thecentersd.org/programs/bethegeneration.

I will get involved in 2020

Participaré en 2020

March 3rd VOTE 3 de Marzo VOTA Our community can’t afford to sit out this election. Vote on your entire ballot on Election Day – March 3, 2020.

Find your polling location: events.thecentersd.org/vote

April 1st CENSUS We need our community to be counted.

For more information about the 2020 Census, visit: CountMe2020.org

Nuestra comunidad no puede dejar de participar en esta elección. Llena tu boleta electoral completamente el dia de la elección – 3 de Marzo.Para encontrar tu centro de votación: events.thecentersd.org/vote

1 de Abril CENSO

Necesitamos que nuestra comunidad sea contada. Para obtener más información sobre el Censo 2020, visite: CountMe2020.org

and more unwell, but he never complained. Cowboys rarely complain — they face hardship head on with a huge dose of stoicism. Jim was a good cowboy.

When he was admitted to the hospital for treatment, the other kids at school talked about how he might die, but, even at age 16, he kept his own counsel.

When he had to drop out of school, he didn’t want a lot of visitors at the hospital: sympathy and pity weren’t interesting to him, getting better was.

And he did. He toughed it out and recovered, to the amazement of all the doctors at the Cleveland Clinic.

Today, he lives with his family on his father’s farm, carrying on the cowboy/ farmboy tradition.

Cowboys don’t need to be men; I’ve met many a cowboy of the female gender who has all these same great qualities. I used to work with one such woman.

Her name was Peg. We worked together at Cleveland Steel when I was home from college after my freshman year. Peg was as solid (emotionally and physically) as a rock, all 4-feet, 10-inches of her. She had cowboy humor too. When she saw me on my first day at the factory (after my first year of college), she said, in front of everyone on our shift, “Well, well. Look at Mr. College Boy. What did you learn there Mr. College Boy? Enlighten us with your newfound wisdom please.” I was embarrassed, but everyone had a good laugh. She put me in my place (as good cowboys will) yet did it with a light touch.

I loved her and enjoyed her gently mocking humor, even when it was aimed at me.

I love my inner cowboys too. When I need guidance, I go to them. I have flashier, louder parts of my consciousness that shout more and demand more attention. I will usually hear them out. But, inevitably, I ask my cowboys, “Well, guys, what do you think?” and their advice is usually the best.

Inner cowboys can be your touchstones. I encourage you to get in touch with yours. Here’s one way to do it: Take a moment, sit still and close your eyes. Ask your inner cowboys to come forth and talk to you. Be open and curious about them, cowboys like to feel respected. You can ask for advice on specific problems, they’re very helpful with that kind of thing. And let them ask you questions.

Maybe they’re wondering why you’re still hanging out with these people or dating that person. They may not understand why you’re still at that job you hate or why you let your parents talk badly to you. Let them share their wisdom with you. You don’t have to take their advice (though it’s usually wise to do so).

Buddhists may call this “your higher self.” Fair enough, but I call it “my inner cowboys.” Inner cowboys give great advice and real-world (physical) cowboys are just fun to be with.

And that’s why I love cowboys.

LGBTQSD.NEWS

COMMUNITY VOICES

FEBRUARY 14-27, 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 10

BIG MIKE AND FRIENDS Big Mike Phillips —Big Mike Phillips is an activist, fundraiser, bartender and photographer who has lived in San Diego for 30 years. He has helped create two nonprofits and raised hundreds of thousands of dollars for charity. He has been a photographer for more than 25 years and has recorded our LGBTQ history not only in San Diego but around the country, including three LGBTQ marches on Washington D.C. Contact Big Mike at 619-8077324, or bmsd1957@gmail.com.

I

have always said, “We live in the best city in the world and we have the most wonderful people living right here as well.”

I have been so fortunate over the last 30 years that I have lived, worked and played in San Diego to meet so many of you who have become a part of my everyday life.

During my early days working in the local gay bars, I met so many of the wonderful people I now consider good friends. I remember one such person when I was working at Rich’s Nightclub, (it’s been at least 15 years since I worked there) Brian Bazinet had just moved to San Diego in November of 1997. I was bartending at my usual station in the back as you entered the room that the dance floor was at. For years, I worked that corner part of the bar that was shaped like an “L”, which had two sides I had to take drink orders from.

I had a line of people on both sides of my bar, which I was always grateful for, and Brian was in that line. I met Brian that night because he told me, “I hate waiting in line,” so after his next drink, he tipped me $100 and needless to say, he has never waited in line since. Plus, I always had his drink ready when I would see him coming up to my bar.

While growing up in Chehalis, Washington, where he went to high school, Brian knew he had an attraction for men but never connected the dots until attending the University of Colorado Boulder. Walking by a club one night in Denver with the music rocking, he went into his first gay bar and it all clicked! That bar was Tracks Denver. Thirteen years later, he became the owner of Tracks, and also opened the largest gay bar in Colorado named Club Proteus and the largest straight bar in Colorado, The Edge. Owning three bars still wasn’t enough for Brian, so he opened a 20-bed tanning salon so all his bar clientele would always be tan throughout the entire year. Good move, Brian.

It was shortly after that we started to get to know each other better. In those days, I was in involved in an organization that I co-founded with Nigel Mayer called “Ordinary Miracles.” It was because of my involvement with the community that Brian, who then was the chairman of the board of the LGBT Center, asked me to be a part of the search committee for hiring the new executive director. It was on Brian’s birthday as I remember — he canceled his trip to Cancun just so he could fight to make sure Dolores Jacobs became the new executive director (of which she was for 18 wonderful years). In fact, it was Brian who encouraged me to join the board of directors for The Center, which I did and proudly served my community for three years. Thank you, Brian, for your time serving as president of The Center’s board and for your inspiration, guidance and belief in me that helped me personally get involved.

At one point, we were even neighbors up on the hill with the most beautiful view ever overlooking the city. While becoming next-door neighbors allowed us to become even better friends, I did work for him for a few years as his company San Diego Event Catering was growing into one of the biggest catering companies in San Diego. San Diego Event Catering also serviced both big arenas in town, Sports Arena and Sleep Train Amphitheatre (now

Brian Bazinet Brian Bazinet and Big Mike Phillips.

William Ritchie and Brian Bazinet.

(Courtesy photos)

“I always say be nice to people, you just never know, they could one day become someone very special in your life.”

— Big Mike Phillips

named North Island Credit Union Amphitheatre) in Chula Vista.

Brian met the man of his dreams about seven years ago, a good-looking young man by the name of William Ritchie, who was then a Marine stationed at Camp Pendleton. (Thank you, Will, for your service to our country) After those many years together, they were married on Sept. 15, 2018,

by California Senate President Pro Tempore Toni Atkins, on the beautiful estate of Bobbie Bohannan which overlooked the city of San Diego.

More than 150 guests sat down in Bobbie’s backyard to a delicious meal and danced under the stars. I had the honor of taking their wedding

photos. It was a beautiful ceremony on a beautiful day. Brian and Will have two kids: Missy, a black and grey Schnauzer, and Leo, a rat terrier — and I am a proud uncle to both! The moment I pull up to Brian and Will’s house, they know it is me! (They also know I will give them a cookie!)

Brian currently is the senior vice president of Oneida Hospitality and owns San Diego Aerial Drone, a company that can do anything from filming events, concerts and real estate, just to name a few. If he’s not traveling for work, Brian and Will can be found sailing, hiking, going to the movies, entertaining friends and traveling (for fun). The wonderful

thing about Brian that I really love is his involvement with our community; he is a past board member of Mama’s Kitchen, at which he’s been a volunteer now for 22 years. Brian told me that it makes him feel good knowing he is doing something for someone else, which is his reward.

“Live life to the fullest and give back as much as you can! You can make a difference in so many lives.”

For years now, Brian, myself and sometimes Will, go have breakfast on Sunday morning at the Ocean Beach Pier — they actually serve really good food. I love their french fries, which I no longer eat since I’m losing weight (darn). So, Brian then encourages me to do beach walks with him, and it helps me do my exercise. It’s been 23 years now that Brian and I have been friends; we have become family. I appreciate all the kind things he has done for me, including inviting me to go with him to be an extra in the movie “Ted 2,” which we both were seen in at least three different times. That was an amazingly fun and long day. Thanks for all the meals, new adventures, road trips to Los Angeles and most of all, thanks for your love.

San Diego has a lot of incredible people in it who truly help change our city and communities to become better places to live in. It’s people like Brian who stand out in the crowd. I asked Brian, “What is something you would like people to know about you?” He replied: “I have been on a diet since I was 17.”

LOL. Well, your heart is still as big as the Colorado mountains.

I always say be nice to people, you just never know, they could one day become someone very special in your life. Remember: Life is short, appreciate it, and tell all those in your life every day that you love them. I love you, Brian and Will.

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FEBRUARY 14-27, 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 10

ENTERTAINMENT

LGBTQSD.NEWS

MEGHAN TRAINOR

IS LIVING HER BEST ‘YAAAS, B*TCH’ LIFE

POP STAR ON HER GENEROUS LESBIAN FANS AND TIPPING DRAG QUEENS WITH SAM SMITH’S MONEY

By Chris Azzopardi

(Photos by Hanna Hillier)

not necessarily all I t’sabout that bass. It’s

also all about that time Sam Smith – yes, that Sam Smith – slipped Meghan Trainor some singles so she could tip some Me-ghan Trainor drag queens.

Because even before Trainor captured adoration from the Grammy voting academy, who named her Best New Artist in 2016, the 26-year-old pop star had arguably al-ready won an artist’s most valuable asset: the LGBTQ community’s enduring affec-tion.

Before dropping her third full-length, “Treat Myself,” Trainor rang to talk about the LGBTQ community’s influence on her new body-positive mentality, lesbians who want to go down on her for a very specific amount of time, and finally being old enough to go to the gay bars that play her songs. In fact, she got so much off her chest during our phone calls that at the end of our second one she raved, “Such great therapy!”

(Chris Azzopardi) When were you first aware of your LGBTQ fanbase?

(Meghan Trainer) Oh, early in the beginning. “Bass” had just come out. [That Pride] Atlanta show [in 2014], I’ll never forget it. I had no fans, I was so new, and they made me feel like a superstar. It was, like, 9,000 people on this big lawn and just the coolest thing ever. I did that and a gay club in Florida, I think, in the early, ear-ly days and I remember that was the night this father yelled out, “You saved my daughter’s life,” and that has been with me ever since, because that’s not something you hear every day. I was so new and so not famous.

Did you have this many queer fans as a kid growing up in Nantucket, Mas-sachusetts?

Not really, no. (Laughs.)

A lot of people weren’t coming out in high school back in Nantucket that I knew of.

I knew one friend that came out, but he came out when I moved away, so I never got to celebrate it with him.

Now he dresses like a girl sometimes and he’s the prettiest woman ever. [The LGBTQ community] wasn’t as big as it is in Los Angeles, obviously. I love it though. I love being in a place where it’s fully accepted, and I keep saying this in every interview, but my entire team is gay.

How did headlining LA Pride last year during the 50th anniversary of Stonewall standout from other Prides you’ve performed at?

This one was really special on many different levels. It felt like a birthday that I’ll never forget. It was just so magical because my setlist was one of the best I’ve ever had: I threw in “Dancing Queen” by ABBA, and that really got the crowd going, and I performed “Can’t Dance” for the first time and did this amazing dance with it (laughs).

And the big reveal was my booty! My butt was out and about, and the only audience I would be comfortable showing off my body and my ass for is my LGBTQ communi-ty because they accept and love me for who I am. I’ve never had more screams! It made me feel so confident, and like a queen.

That opened up a whole world of: I’m gonna wear more formfitting outfits because I do love myself and my body. And I have been. I don’t know if you got a chance to see me on “The Voice” but I’m feelin’ my legs, and my butt was out.

But there are times when you’re not as confident as your music makes you seem?

I mean, I’m way more confident than I was. This career has actually helped me so much in that way, like feeling beautiful and seeing pictures

of myself that I actually like.

Being on camera and being on TV, I’m like, “Wow, guys, I’m pretty!” I say that way more.

Everyone I think just works on it every day. But I definitely have learned a lot of lessons with this career; some good ones, like saying out loud how beautiful you are and saying you’re going to really believe it. If you just talk negative about yourself, that’s what your brain’s hearing and that’s what it’ll learn. So I try to stay positive.

Did you ever struggle with seeing yourself on TV? I was worried with [hosting reality-TV music competition] “The Four” because I had never done a TV show before.

But I can’t stop watching that show, man! (Laughs.) I watched it and everything that I did – I was a fan of myself watching myself. I’m so lame!

I was just like, “Yaaas, bitch.

Say what you feel.” And I was like, “Look how cute she is.”

Just talkin’ as if I were a different person.

I hope everybody can someday feel as confident as you do.

I never thought I’d be there, so it’s great.

How much has the LGBTQ community influenced the empowerment sen-sibility in your music?

So much. I remember I had a show in Atlanta, a gay Pride

event, in my early career and I never had so many screams before. I’ve never had so many people just want-ing to make love to me. These women were screaming at me: “I’ll go down on you for 45 minutes!” And I was like, “Wow! That sounds like a treat.” Nobody’s ever said that to me, you know? I was like, “Wow, you’d do that for me?! You really love me!”

That was just the best compliment I ever had.

‘Treat Myself’ was originally supposed to be released in 2018, but then got shelved because you went back into the studio and basically gutted the al-bum and restarted. Where was your headspace when you originally rec-orded the album versus when you rerecorded it?

I think I was just like so in love. I mean, obviously: I was getting married. I’m still so in love. But I was just so live, breathe, sleep just Daryl [Sabara, Trainor’s hus-band].

Like, this is my world. So when I was doing the songwriting I was like, “Guys, I’m really boring. I’m just madly in love and everything’s so great for me and I don’t have anything fun to write about (laughs).”

Then I started writing songs with my older brother because he would just videotape every session, and from that he learned, “Oh, I could be a songwriter.” He actually wrote

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on every single song pretty much, and his love life is way more interesting than mine, so I started asking him about his life (laughs) and we’ve been writing amazing songs together. I was like, “This is fun and relatable and not everyone is madly in love.” I gotta write for my sweet single souls out there!

Were you happy with the first recording of ‘Treat Myself?’

Yeah, I love all my songs.

It just feels I’m writing too much about one topic, and then pop music was drowning. It was fading away; it’s because hip-hop and urban was having and is still having a moment, and I love that because I’m a fan and it’s magical and so cool to watch.

But it’s like, where’s pop?

Where’d pop go?

We sent “Waves” to radio because I was like, “I’m putting my foot down; this is my favorite song I’ve ever written, and I think the production is powerful.” It was my favorite music video I’ve ever done. This one I had no complaints about. And we heard, I guess, from radio, and they’re like, “It’s just so different; we’re trying to wrap our heads around it.”

Like, what?

I wanna just flip ’em off (laughs).” So I found another way of saying I love myself and what I got is: My genetics are pretty dope, and I do have great genetics from my parents. Their skin and their body shapes are just spot on.

Like, I was blessed with an hourglass body, which doesn’t happen all the time, you know. So I was like, “Fi-ne.

Let’s give them a genetics song.”

So I thought it was sassy and sexy and fun, and something everyone could sing. I wanted grandparents to hear this and be like, “You’re welcome, kids.” And then when I heard it I was like, “This is so Pussycat Dolls,” so then I called Nicole [Scherzinger].

She was like, “We should have a sing-off.” And I was like, “Excuuuse me?!” She was like, “We should have a battle moment where we both sing our hearts out.” And I was like, “Da fuck – OK!” At the end, before the last chorus, you’ll hear two vocalists just ripping, and it’s me and her back and forth. And she wins.

Why the Pussycat Dolls?

Their lyrics – which is funny, ’cause they’re like the best dancers ever. But their lyr-ics, “Don’t cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me,” like man, I used to roll around in middle school with that and high school and just be like, “This is my song!”

What was it like to have your manager, Tommy Bruce, who’s gay, officiate your wedding?

It was everything because he knows me better than anyone. He delivered the open-ing words, and I always joke that I want them to let me have my Britney Spears mi-crophone, like attached to my ear, and my team is like, “No, they’re gonna hear how winded you get sometimes.”

And I understand that. But he showed up to my wed-ding with one of those, and he also knows how much I love T-Pain music, so he had it on full Auto-Tune and was like, “We’re all gathered here todaaaa-yyy-yyy.”

It was so everything. It was the best.

Which song on ‘Treat Myself’ are you most looking forward to your LGBTQ fans hearing?

“Genetics.” It was the first song I wrote with Mike Sabath and Justin Tranter, who are like gods at writing pop music. I went in, actually, with this chorus and I was like, “Everyone keeps wanting me to write another ‘All About That Bass’ and

What is the most impressive drag performance you’ve seen of a Meghan Trainor song?

Oh, man, I went to The Abbey in L.A. and I was there with Sam Smith and it was one of the cool points in my life. (Sam) gave me dollar bills because it was my second drag show ever and I was like, “I don’t have the dollar bills! I didn’t bring ’em!” And

Growing up, who were the artists who instilled confidence in you?

Christina Aguilera, Britney Spears, Pussycat Dolls and Rihanna. I love Pussycat Dolls!

(Sam) handed me a stack.

They did a few of my songs and it was just the best time of my life being like, “Sam, that’s my song!” and throwing all the money on them!

What’s the story behind you wearing a unicorn onesie when you guest judged ‘RuPaul’s Drag Race’ in 2017?

(Laughs.) Well, I was in the middle of a tour and had that onesie because I was wearing onesies for our meetand-greets. Instead of doing what everyone does when they dress up fully and do the glam, I was like, “Let me show my unicorn pride, let me show what I bring around my tour.” I thought it’d be cute. Now when I watch it I’m like, “Oh, why didn’t you dress up?”

What was your first time at a gay club like?

Well, I remember the gay club called Play [in Nashville] was playing “All About That Bass” and I was 19 or 20. I was like, “Let me in, you’re playin’ my song!” And they denied me. I was like, “Man!” I couldn’t show proof.

It was just released and I was like, “You (put) my song on but you don’t know my face.”

Later, I went back and I was like, “Now I’m back and in the VIP.” And surely you’ve sung that song at Play by now.

No! But I did dance to “Lips Are Movin’” with a drag queen! And I remember they had a razor and they made me shave this guy’s hair off.

Do you remember that, mom?

That was the craziest time in my life. I was like, “Um, are you sure?”

Hi mom!

She says hi!

This interview has been edited and condensed from two conversations.

—As editor of Q Syndicate, the international LGBTQ wire service, Chris Azzopardi has interviewed a multitude of superstars, including Meryl Streep, Mariah Carey and Beyoncé. Reach him via his website at www.chris-azzopardi.com and on Twitter (@chrisazzopardi).

February 18 – March 29 FLY | Based on the novel Peter and Wendy by J.M. Barrie Book by Rajiv Joseph | Music by Bill Sherman Lyrics by Rajiv Joseph and Kirsten Childs | Directed by Jeffrey Seller

BUY TODAY! LaJollaPlayhouse.org

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FEBRUARY 14-27, 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 10

ENTERTAINMENT

CLYBOURNE PARK Play by Bruce Norris

LGBTQSD.NEWS

GET INTO THE HOTSPOT

THE LATEST STUDIO ALBUM

BY THE PET SHOP BOYS

T Daniel Solomon, Ashley Graham, and Melissa Malloy in the Pulitzer Prize-winning Clybourne Park by Bruce Norris.

Now playing at the 10th avenue arts center downtown. (Photo by Big Mike Phillips)

CLYBOURNE PARK Play by Bruce Norris

By M.G. Perez Senior Reporter

S

Sometimes life is black and white. It isn’t fair.

Those were harsh realities in the 1970s Houston, Texas suburb where Bruce Norris grew up.

Norris is playwright of the Tony Award- and Pulitzer Prize-winning “Clybourne Park” opening Feb. 14, for a three-week run at the Tenth Avenue Arts Center. The show is produced by the Trinity Theatre Company, launching its eighth season as one of San Diego’s emerging artistic forces. “Clybourne Park” is inspired by Lorraine Hansberry’s classic play, “A Raisin in the Sun,” about race and the American dream. Norris, who was a white, middle-class, seventh-grade student at the time, remembers his social studies teacher showing the Sidney Poitier film version.

He says, “We were so closeted and unaware of our privilege, that this social studies teacher, I think, was trying to elbow us into some consciousness about what sort of world we were actually living in.”

The film made such an impact that as an aspiring young actor, he believed he would someday play the role of Karl Lindner, who represents the racism of white America before the civil rights movement.

That never happened. Instead, Norris built a career as a writer and eventually included the same character from Hansberry’s story, and a few others, in his play. The result bookends “A Raisin in the Sun” and launches new storylines and characters. The first act is set in the exclusively white 1959 Chicago neighborhood when a black couple buys a house and moves in. Then, Act 2 takes place in the same house 50 years later when a white couple initiates a move for gentrification in the now-dilapidated area. Norris says, “There’s a kind of mystery built into the play wondering why this family is leaving. If you pry further and further into a story, well, there’s a tragedy at the core of a momentous event like moving out of a house. I didn’t know what that was until I started writing the play.”

“Clybourne Park” also delivers comedy and stinging laughs often rooted in the underbelly of racism and bigotry. Director Kandace Crystal jumped at the opportunity to helm the Trinity Theatre production. “This is a show that has a voice of color. As a director, I love to hold a mirror up to an

audience. I don’t live up to those angry black woman stereotypes,” she says. Crystal auditioned every person who wanted to be seen for the roles, no matter their ethnicity. Ultimately, she cast Caucasian and African American actors, who deliver authentic performances true to the text. The play is intentionally layered by the playwright to address issues of race, class, gender and indirectly sexual orientation and disability. All the actors play double roles including Emily Candia, who is Betsy in the first act set in 1959. Betsy is the deaf, pregnant wife of the antagonist and racist Karl Lindner, who Norris once thought he might play onstage. He tells us he created Betsy because he believed only a deaf woman would put up with that kind of husband. Candia uses the character to bring awareness and strength by communicating in sign language and her well-acted, effectively executed, limited-speaking interpretation to the role. In Act 2, Norris outs one of the male characters as gay, played by Ryan Cannan, through a clever use of a very offensive joke. It brings a laugh and makes a statement about the progress of the gay community at the time of the 2009 setting.

During a recent rehearsal, the entire cast delivered potent performances without the benefit of a set, lights, or costumes — a clear indication of what is to come in the next three weeks onstage and in the minds of both the actors and audience members who experience the power of this much respected and honored play. The cast also includes seasoned performers Paul Uhler (Russ/Dan), Melissa Malloy (Bev/Kathy), Robert Coe (Karl/Steve), Daniel Solomon (Albert/Kevin), and newcomer Ashley Graham (Francine/Lena), who includes on her resume the iconic role of Laurey in the musical “Oklahoma!” as a black actress in an otherwise white cast, performed at the Lawton Community Theater in Lawton, Oklahoma.

“Clybourne Park” director points out this play does not have a happy ending: “Who needs a happy ending? Let’s take this ‘mirror’ and see how we can do better in our own community,” quips Crystal.

Recommended for mature audiences; contains strong language and adult situations.

Bruce Norris (Courtesy Photo)

Tenth Avenue Arts Center 930 10th Ave. San Diego, CA 92101 Feb. 14 through March 8, 2020.

Fridays and Saturdays at 7 p.m.

Sundays at 2 p.m.

Opening Night Valentine’s Day discount BOGO tickets using the code: 2Love Feb. 14, 2020 performance only www.trinityttc.org

he “West End Boys” are back with their fourteenth studio album ‘Hotspot’. The album is the third installment in the series of Pet Shop Boys (PSB) albums produced by Stuart Price, following ‘Electric’ in 2013 and ‘Super’ in 2016. ‘Hotspot’ features 10 brand new Neil Tennant/Chris Lowe tracks including previous single “Dreamland” featuring Years & Years, released earlier this year, and Burning the Heather which features Bernard Butler on guitar and a new track, “Monkey Business”. PSB say “we’ve written much of our music over the last ten years in Berlin and it was an exciting experience to work on this album in the legendary Hansa studios there and add a new dimension to our sound.” The PSB will also be performing across the UK and Europe with their greatest hits tour Dreamworld: The Greatest Hits Live in spring 2020, kicking off May 1st at Berlin’s Mercedes Benz Arena. For all the latest on the Pet Shop Boys check out petshopboys.co.uk

(Photo by Phil Fisk)

M.G. Perez is founder of the San Diego Theatre Connection and creator of the Community OMG blog communityomg.tumblr.com.

Follow on social media on Facebook and Instagram @sdtheatreconnection and on Twitter @TheSDTC. Submit theater content and story ideas to mgperez@sdtconnection.com

FEB 22

11 AM – 1 PM CHULA VISTA BAYFRONT PARK MARINA WAY

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SAN DIEGO ARMADA RUGBY HOME GAME Our very own San Diego Armada Rugby vs. Los Angeles Rebellion Rugby 1-3 p.m. Robb Athletic Field, 2525 Bacon St., Ocean Beach. http://bit.ly/2HhnEUX

FEB 15 GAY MEN’S HIKE: MANIFESTING LOVE AND SELF-WORTH Join us for our sixth Queer Conscious North County meetup. We’ll be hiking (seven miles) to Stanley Peak from the El Caballo Park staging area and have guided discussions along the way up about love and self-worth. Whether you’re single, taken, or it’s complicated, you’ll be able to reflect on how you can bring more authentic forms of love into your life — starting from within.

1:30-5 p.m. at El Caballo Park, 5X58+HR in Escondido. More info at http://bit.ly/2SlWqTh

FEB 16

FEB 27

TANTRUMS AND TIARAS 2020 Tantrums & Tiaras is first and foremost a “Fun”raiser, but also a camp pageant show that brings the San Diego community together to raise money for The San Diego LGBT Community Center.

Five Hillcrest bars volunteer one representative who will compete for the crown! Join us for an evening filled with big wigs, runny mascara, and broken heels, all while gagging over our hilarious and fabulous host, Babette Schwartz. www.tantrumstiaras.org

THE SPENCER DAY TRIO IN “SAN DIEGO SERENADE” Spencer Day, the No. 1 Billboard-charting pop/jazz performer and San Diego favorite, returns to Martinis Above Fourth with three different shows in his performance series, “Spencer Day Three Ways: Trio, Duo and Solo.” For his “Trio” performance, Day brings The Spencer Day Trio and the show “San Diego Serenade.” http://bit.ly/2Hhprt9

FEB 22

LGBTQ COASTKEEPER CLEANUP CHALLENGE Join in the LGBTQ Coastkeeper CleanUp Challenge, presented

by San Diego LGBTQ LatinX Coalition. 9-11 a.m. Chula Vista Bayside Park, 999 Bayside Parkway in Chula Vista. https:// bit.ly/38oDrgi

FEB 22

FEB 18

THE SIMON & GARFUNKEL STORY “The Simon & Garfunkel Story” is a critically acclaimed, concert-style theater show about two young boys from Queens, New York, who went on to become the world’s most successful music duo of all time. Running Feb. 18-19 at Balboa Theatre downtown. https://bit.ly/37kJrWm

QUEER BLACK HISTORY MONTH WITH MONICA ROBERTS Join Monica Roberts, aka The TransGriot, to discuss topics of honoring and protecting the lives of black trans women, dispelling myths, dismantling transphobia narratives, leaving a legacy for our youth, celebrating accomplishments and encouraging empowerment of our black trans women. Free event and space is limited.

Light refreshments will be served. Hosted by the Gender Phluid Collective. 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. at the San Diego History Center, 1649 El Prado Ste. #3. http://bit.ly/37nreYb

FEB 29

2020 SAN DIEGO LEATHER COMMUNITY AWARDS Brought to you by Beat Your Drum Productions and emceed

by Roxie Bleu, this event honors our fellow community members, businesses and organizations for the outstanding support they give to everyone regardless of orientation, ethnicity, or sexual identity. 6-10 p.m. at Urban MO’s, 308 University Ave. https://bit.ly/31PYHt5

FEB 29

LEAP DAY CELEBRATION: A DANCE-OFF! This year on Leap Day, The Old Globe’s Department of Arts Engagement is excited to host a dance performance competition and celebration featuring selected local dance performance groups. Leap into action and submit to have your company featured on our plaza on Feb. 29, 2020! For more information, check out http:// bit.ly/31OZfPP

FEB 29 BOWLING FOR EQUALITY 12 Human Rights Campaign (HRC) San Diego and U.S. Bank present the 12th annual “Bowling for Equality: OUT of this World!” 12:30-5 p.m. at Kearny Mesa Bowl, 7585 Clairemont Mesa Blvd. Tickets available at https://bit.ly/31NlZzK

Send calendar events to editor@lgbtqsd.news

Q Puzzle STRAIGHT LESBIAN ICON ACROSS 1 Stroke the ball gently 5 Have an opening for 9 Artificial sweetener brand 14 Cincinnati’s river 15 Art Deco design name 16 The Bee Gees’ “___ Me” 17 Foam at Sitges 18 Unthinking repetition 19 Fable fellow 20 Lesbian romance set in Queen Anne’s court 23 Trick ending 24 Corporal or sergeant 28 Word after family or fruit 30 Some of Mary’s lambs 33 Curse 34 Half a Latin dance 35 Enjoying REM without Stipe?

37 _Frozen_ queen 38 Poet Adrienne 40 Lorre in _The Maltese Falcon_ 41 Jerusalem server 42 Reverb 43 Where the action is 45 Jarreau and Jolson 46 Barely gets, with “out” 47 Opposite of erect 48 Enclosure with a ms.

50 Cut

52 Crew tool 53 Lesbian romance set in the Orthodox Jewish community 60 Flynn of _Captain Blood_ 63 Nike’s swoosh, e.g.

64 Coward of _Private Lives_ 65 _My Fair Lady_ composer 66 Gunfighter’s cry 67 Shakespeare title starter 68 Lake ballet dancers 69 Enrapture, in slang 70 Foot bottom

DOWN 1 Military station 2 “I don’t think so” 3 Rubber on a rim 4 Something hard in your mouth 5 Showing some cojones 6 Slangy suffix 7 Rebuke from Caesar 8 Bambi, e.g.

9 Millay’s muse 10 Drag spelling contest?

11 Us, in Ulm 12 ___-Z 13 Cut 21 Length ◊ width 22 The Abbey in West Hollywood, e.g.

25 Diva Maria 26 Marked down 27 Board in a rooming house 28 _Growing Pains_ dad Alan 29 First name of 31-Down, or her costar McAdams in 53-Across 30 Writer Dykewomon 31 Straight lesbian icon who starred in 20-Across and 53-Across 32 Frightfully strange 34 “Gay is good,” for example 36 Ballpark figures 39 One way to wear stockings?

44 Morales of movies 49 _Spartacus_ venues 51 Scrabble pieces 52 Family name of Boy George 54 Cutlass or 98, for short 55 Brought forth fruit 56 Richard of _Pollyanna_ 57 Brief plea 58 _Oz_ setting 59 In addition to that 60 Trains at a higher level 61 Straight line 62 _Breakfast on Pluto_ actor Stephen

QSyndicate.com

Solutions on page 17

14

ENTERTAINMENT

FEBRUARY 14-27, 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 10

LGBTQSD.NEWS

Merce cheering in park Merce and Remington in LOVE (Charles Sanchez and Randall Taylor) Merce in LOVE (Charles Sanchez, Randall Taylor and Ensemble) (Photo courtesy of MercetheSeries.com)

Do you mean PrEP? Charles Sanchez: PrEP has been a unifier in the fight against new HIV transmissions, giving HIV- people as much responsibility and power as HIV+ folk. And it’s another tool in the fight against HIV stigma. One less reason to be afraid.

Charles Sanchez (Photo by Rick Guidotti)

POSITIVELY IN LOVE THE STAR OF ‘MERCE’ ON DATING WITH HIV

By Declan Robers

M

erce is back for its second hilarious season with eight new episodes, each with its own elaborately choreographed original musical ditty like “Click Delete!”, “Hurt Like a Bitch” and “Bless Your Heart.”

All of the series’ favorites are back, too, including the outrageous Southern Mama, the fabulous fairies and, of course, the loveable Merce who refuses to be defined by his HIV+ status.

Like the character he portrays, Charles Sanchez (who also writes and produces the series) is HIV positive. He sees Merce as an opportunity to show the world a different side of the epidemic. “While living with HIV is no picnic, it’s not the drama that it used to be,” he says. “No one that I know living with HIV walks around with a sad cloud above their head.”

Season 2 touches on hot button topics impacting today’s community including PrEP, slut shaming, and gay marriage. Most importantly to fans (especially with Valentine’s Day right around the corner), Merce finds love!

So much has changed with HIV in the last few years. Is there still a stigma to being positive when dating?

Charles Sanchez: Holy crap, yes! I wish it wasn’t true, and it always shocks me when I get a rejection because of my HIV status. It actually happened recently. I started talking to this cute guy on Hinge and things were going really swimmingly until he noticed “living with HIV” on my profile. All of a sudden, he got

jittery, apologetic, and quashed the first date. Unbelievable. I mean, how shocked could he be? In the first photo of me he liked, I was wearing a U=U t-shirt!

Maybe he wasn’t familiar with U=U? Charles Sanchez: U+U stands for Undetectable equals Untransmittable. It’s a worldwide campaign that has shined a spotlight on recent scientific evidence proving those with an undetectable viral load (meaning that the virus is not detected in lab tests) pose zero risk of transmitting HIV. Are you always so open about your status when you meet a potential love interest or hook-up?

Charles Sanchez: I’m open wide. Wait. That didn’t sound right. I mean, I’m open about my status. I’m so open, I assume that it’s the first thing people know about me.

How do you feel about those who choose not to share their status?

Charles Sanchez: This is a controversial issue! I don’t think it is necessary, especially when it’s just a casual sex partner. It’s not fair that the responsibility to prevent transmission should only be on the person who knows they are living with HIV. Everyone is responsible for their own health, especially in this day when there are so many ways to have a hot time while still staying safe.

Have you experienced a serodiscordant relationship (where one person is positive and the other is negative)?

Charles Sanchez: Most of my relationships have been. The biggest challenge in a serodiscordant relationship is the same as any other: who snores louder and who has to do the dishes.

What has HIV taught you about sex, love and yourself?

Charles Sanchez: I’ve learned so much about self-acceptance and forgiveness. I am much more loving towards people in general. And as far as sex, I’m so much more relaxed about it. I think for years and years, I was uptight and guilt ridden about my carnal desires. Now I’m much more live and let love, baby.

What do you wish you had been told when you were first diagnosed?

Charles Sanchez: The thing that I would most wish I was told was actually told to me! What happened was, I was sitting in the hospital, feeling very sorry for myself.

My sassy friend Michael came to visit me, and I cried my pitiful eyes out like Sally Field in Steel Magnolias, boo-hooing to him about my HIV. He looked me in the face and said, “you know what I think, honey? I think you have a bad attitude. This isn’t 1983 or 1993. The medications today are amazing. Just take your meds and do what the doctors tell you to do, and you’re going to be fine.” And you know what? He was right.

Do you have any tips for finding love with HIV? Charles Sanchez: Well, I’ve been single for a bit, so I’m not sure my love-finding tips are that impactful, but since you asked, I think the most important thing is to believe in yourself. You are not your status. HIV is just one aspect of who I am. I’m wickedly funny, a loyal friend, a great cook, a talented person, and I have a hot butt.

Starring on a TV show hasn’t helped your dating life?

Charles Sanchez: No, I’m still looking! This Valentine’s Day, I’m going out with a friend, a fellow gay bachelor, to see a fabulous all-male dance company from Argentina. Should be pretty sexy. And we’ll probably have a decidedly non-romantic dinner, like Chinese food or something.

Chinese food can be romantic!

Charles Sanchez: Chinese food is only romantic if it’s delivered to your apartment, and you and your man are half-naked, eating egg rolls and fried rice while watching Fleabag.

Visit MerceTheSeries.com. Follow MerceTheSeries on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

COMMUNITY VOICES

LGBTQSD.NEWS

FEBRUARY 14-27, 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 10

15

41 YEARS OF LOVE AND DEVOTION REFLECTION

By William (Bill) E. Kelly

S

an Diego City Commissioner Nicole Murray Ramirez (who is associate publisher of LGBTQ San Diego County News) approached me about a potential series of articles highlighting the reallife multicultural and intergenerational perspectives and experiences of same-sex love relationships. Nicole asked if I would talk about my own journey with my husband, Bob, over the past four decades.

Hoping my reflections will encourage others to open up and share their own rich stories of love and commitment, I agreed. So, here I go....

Comparing my experiences with others is not the objective. Recalling the journey we began a lifetime ago is intended for those on or yet to take that journey. It is a reminder that the vigilance and proactive efforts of decades past are as necessary today as they were then. Protecting the rights and freedoms won through the sacrifices of others are not a permanent guarantee. Without continued proactive vigilance they can be quickly lost.

The journey of love has no universal road map or guide book. Bob and I began ours in Chicago on a snowy Friday, Jan. 5, 1979. We were to celebrate our eight-month anniversary dinner as a couple and commit to each other without ceremony. We would excitedly discuss where we would live, finances, expectations, dreams and the years ahead of us. But we were in for a stark reality check. That very day, Bob’s employer informed him that he would be spending the next two years working at their branches in Rome and Milan, Italy. For many same-sex American “newlyweds” today, that news would be challenging but exciting. It would be a rare, once-in-a-life-time opportunity — a prolonged honeymoon. The employer would pay to move them, provide housing and assist the spouse with finding a job. But in 1979, even a hint of our relationship would get Bob and I fired on the spot. We could not afford and dare not let on with either of our employers the difficult decisions this forced on us. Forty-one years ago, the doors to the dank dark closets were kept tightly closed and we dare not let others see us just as we truly were: a loving, dedicated and committed same-sex couple in pursuit of happiness.

In those years, societal views and treatment of such relationships, sexual fluidly, sexuality and sex in general were most acutely hostile and threatening. Survival meant

living dual lives and faking heterosexuality. Our true selves could not be acknowledged except by night and/ or behind closed doors. Ours was the era of code words and signals, gay ghettos, back alley bars without windows, bar raids, assaults, insults and arrests. Avoiding bullying, beatings, discrimination, jail, job loss and careers denied required absolute discretion and secrecy. It was much more common to be disowned and rejected by heterosexual counterparts, i.e. family, neighbors, teachers, co-workers, pious religious leaders and “friends” could toss you aside like yesterday’s garbage.

Bob was going to be 7,000 miles away. Email capabilities, cell phones or computerized social networks had not been invented. Expensive employer-paid visits between us would not be offered. Communications would consist of a rare and very expensive phone call requiring a longdistance operator to arrange.

I would wait for hours to get a call from an operator on my landline telling me a connection had been made. It meant we could hear a few echoing, stammering words from each other. If not lost, stolen or damaged in transit, letters and packages would take up to six weeks to arrive. But our best hope to keep our fire burning was the daily letters, cards and voice-recorded cassette tapes we sent each other, all of them still neatly preserved in notebooks and on more than 160 hours of cassette tape recordings. (Display in the LGBT history exhibit.)

When Bob arrived at the restaurant that January night, the conversation quickly became a somber discussion of what was to come. I would learn Bob had 24 hours to accept or reject the offer. He had focused on international trade and business and earned business and international business degrees from two of the most prestigious schools, Stanford University and the University of Chicago. He had even learned Italian and spent a year as an exchange student at a high school in Italy. His entire life he had prepared for this opportunity — but what about us?

When he asked me what he should do, everything in me wanted to tell him I couldn‘t promise I would be there when he returned or that the love we were feeling would survive the test. Yet I knew I needed to support him. He needed to accept the assignment. The risk of words of resentment expressed in the heat of some future disagreement such as “I

“Most of all, be aware that once you say or do anything, it cannot just be erased.”

— William (Bill) E. Kelly

Bob on the left and Bill on the right, more recent photo Bill on left and Bob on right, July 1979 (Courtesy photos)

gave all that up for you!” was a threat. We couldn’t risk a cloud like that hanging over us just waiting to rain on our parade.

My dearest friends grimace when I tell them that gay or straight, the intensity of sexual pleasure is never as intense as that first few minutes, hours, weeks, months or years.

Whether as men and/or women who feel love, it is an initial attraction of sexual and emotional chemistry that brings you together. That said, chemistry is frequently mistaken for true love of heart, body and soul. The simple and beautiful truth is that love survives the trials and tests of time only with determination, devotion and dedication. True love and what one feels in their heart, mind and soul only intensifies with time. It is the superglue that cements you and enables you to defy anything or anyone that would break you.

In closing, love is something to be treasured, protected and allowed to live aloud otherwise hate will surely devour it. Our seven secrets and reflections for (and on) living our 41-year love relationship: 1. Physical appearances excite and are a key to initial attraction but looks fade, so be sure you choose someone who speaks to the heart and soul of who you are and shares your values.

2. Seek someone that keeps life interesting. (We found that we were opposite in so many ways other than our core values but complimented each other. I often say that if it were not for Bob, I would spin out of control and if it weren’t for me, he would have cobwebs covering him. It is an exaggeration of the reality that holds much truth and is the superglue that creates our unbreakable bond.)

3. Talk about anything and everything truthfully without judgement.

4. Your special someone’s objectionable behaviors must be overshadowed by why you love them.

5. Always say good morning and good night with a kiss.

6. Accept that many of the disagreements you have today will be the same ones you have in the years ahead. The good news is that you will begin to laugh before the pot boils over because you know how they will always end.

7. Most of all, be aware that once you say or do anything, it cannot just be erased.

16

NEWS

FEBRUARY 14-27, 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 10

LGBTQSD.NEWS

BLACK TRANS AMERICAN PIONEERS

TRANS TALK WITH CONNOR Connor Maddocks —Connor Maddocks has been a civil rights advocate in the San Diego transgender community for years. He does trainings on legal and personal transition information. He continues his work, even though he is now retired. Contact Conner at Neon411@gmail.com.

I

n honor of Black History Month, I felt I should dig into the past a bit and find some heroes from our community. I picked only two so I could get more in-depth with their stories.

First is the amazing Frances Thompson (date of birth unknown-1876). She was born into slavery and became emancipated after the Civil War. She was living with a friend in a community of emancipated slaves in Memphis, Tennessee. From May 1-3, 1866, a series of post-war violent events (referred to as the Memphis Massacre of 1866), ignited by political, social and racial tensions, tore through the city. During the fighting, five women were raped, 75 people were injured, 46 African Americans and two white people were killed.

Thompson and her friend Lucy Smith were in their house when the rioting began. Suddenly, seven white men broke into their house and demanded women to sleep with, after which they raped both ladies repeatedly. Later that year, congressional hearings were held concerning the riots.

Thompson testified against the seven white men who broke into the house and raped her and Smith.

It is believed that Thompson is the very first transgender person to have testified before a congressional committee in the United States. Imagine the courage it took for her to do this while living in a Confederate state where people were still angry about losing the Civil War and unable to forget their hatred for black people living free all around them. And yet, only months later, she had the courage to stand up in front of an entire committee of congressmen and the public, and point out the seven men who had raped her and her housemate. Thompson and Smith stayed put in Memphis after the hearings.

Ten years later in 1876, Thompson was arrested for being a man dressed as a woman, her arrest for transvestism was used by newspapers in Memphis to discredit her previous congressional testimony that she was raped and smeared her name throughout the city. Vague historic

A depiction of

the Memphis

Riots

Willmer Li tt

le Axe

reports say that when she couldn’t pay the $50 fine imposed with the arrest, she was forced to wear men’s clothes and sentenced to 100 days jail time working on the city’s chain gang. She was seriously abused during her incarceration. When she was released, she moved to North Memphis and died there shortly after.

Next up is another name I hadn’t heard before: Willmer “Little Axe” Broadnax (1916-1994). He, along with his brother known as William “Big Axe” Broadnax, was a singer in a gospel quartet. They were singing in the time when gospel music was just making its way to the general public and records were being recorded left and right to keep up with demand.

Willmer began singing with his brother in his teens, right after he began transitioning. They both joined the St. Paul Gospel Singers in Houston in the 1930s. After a time, they decided to move to Los Angeles and try their luck with the Southern Gospel Singers. They only performed on weekends and didn’t tour so Willmer left the group within a year. His next adventure was with his brother in 1940, when they formed their own quartet called the Little Axe and the Golden Echoes. His brother William eventually left to move to Atlanta and join the Five Trumpets. Little Axe decided to stay with his group and did so until approximately 1949.

He had a beautiful, clean-sky high voice and with the Golden Echoes, he was able to showcase his talents as a frontman. He gave the Golden Echoes a sound no other quartet had. When the Golden Echoes disbanded, The Spirit of Memphis Quartet, a very popular group scooped Little Axe up as their new frontman. With Little Axe singing lead, The Spirit of Memphis Quartet became even more popular. He sang with them for several years and during that time, he became a gospel sensation. He then went on to work with the Fairfield Four and the

Five Blind Boys of Mississippi. In 1963, he joined back up with the Golden Echoes and his brother William joined as well. This would be the last time the two would perform together as rock n’ roll was moving in, often using many of the black gospel ways of playing their music.

Willmer moved backed to Philadelphia to live with his brother. At this point, no one had ever discovered that he was trans.

In 1992, Little Axe was stabbed to death by his girlfriend in Philadelphia.

The one account I could find says he caught his girlfriend in a car with another man, and he ran downstairs to the street with a knife. He yelled at her, then grabbed her arm and pulled her out of the car.

A bystander got the knife away from Willmer but his girlfriend picked it up and stabbed him three times. He died a few days later, and the world then found out his secret.

When I think back on our history and then about today, there are so many basic things that have not changed. Back in Frances Thompson’s day, she worried about being discovered, as so many of our trans women and men do today. She just wanted to live out her life in peace and try and recover from the trauma she went through as a child. Does that sound any different than today? She lived in fear and most likely never found love. Yet she didn’t hesitate to stand up and say, “I will testify! I will help you put these men away.” She had an instant, clear, unwavering soul that said, “always do the right thing, never be afraid to stand up and tell the truth, speak for those who can’t and if you see something, say something.”

We can all be like Frances: It’s easy, just stand up and

do the right thing.

And what about Little Axe? We don’t know anything really about his early life, but we do know that around the age of 13, he transitioned. A young black boy in Houston, Texas. He was able to get to California and use the gift of his voice to make his world better.

There were so few out trans men back then, guys like Willmer didn’t have a clue probably what transgender was or that there were other people like him. The guys just transitioned; got the help they could find and melted away into obscurity. But Willmer didn’t roll over and disappear. He had something that he knew he couldn’t resist. He had to sing, no matter what.

And sing he did, with such a beautiful voice to share.

Traveling all over the South, singing for so many diverse crowds, he could have been killed at any time if found out, but he kept right on singing. Don’t let people shut you down from using your gifts. If you are lucky enough to have a special gift, you need to use it and share it with others. I always think it’s incumbent to do that, in a way that’s comfortable for you. It’s like having a giant pot of gold and waiting to spend it on just the right thing. Then one day you suddenly are dying and realize you never spent one coin.

How sad.

Share your gifts, share yourself, and stand up to evil. Thank you to my black trans American pioneers who have shown me the way by how they lived their lives and the sacrifices they made.

for a short film on Little Axel check out https://bit.ly/2UIQzJl

COURT NEWS / BUSINESS & SERVICES

LGBTQSD.NEWS

FEBRUARY 14-27, 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 10

BUSINESS & SERVICES

SECOND JURY DEADLOCKS IN RETRIAL

By Neal Putnam

A

second jury deadlocked Jan. 27 for a man accused of killing a 71-year-old gay man and the judge dismissed the case, setting him free.Edward Jamar Brooks, 39, was released from jail Jan. 27, after the six-man, six-woman jury deadlocked 9-3 in favor of acquittal following 16 hours of deliberations over four days.

This was a retrial for Brooks, whose first jury deadlocked 9-3 for conviction on Oct. 31, 2019, in the 2000 death of LeRay “Mac” Parkins, 71.Deputy District Attorney Christina Arrollado told San Diego Superior Court Judge David Gill she was not ready to dismiss the case against Brooks, and that a third trial was possible.

“I don’t see any justification for trying it a third time,” responded Gill. “I don’t know if you will ever get 12 people to agree.”

“I will exercise my own discretion and dismiss the charges,” said Gill, ordering Brooks’ release.

Brooks was not present because he had the flu so severely he could not attend the hearing in which jurors explained they were hopelessly deadlocked.

“I think it was the fairest of trials,” said attorney Robert Ford, who represented Brooks.

Brooks, who was 20 years old when Parkins was bludgeoned to death with a baseball bat on Aug. 23, 2000, testified that a Spring Valley man he was with that day killed Parkins.

Brooks testified he was selling crack cocaine when Lester Bell, now 39, and Terrence Brown, now 38, picked him up and drove him to North Park.

Parkins lived in North Park with his partner of 20 years and was out on his morning walk in an alley off Pershing Avenue. He was a tenor in the choir of Metropolitan Community Church, which then was located on 30th Street in North Park.

MCC Senior Pastor Dan Koeshall said he was disappointed the jury couldn’t reach a verdict.

In 2018, police tested the empty pockets of Parkins’ pants, and Brooks’ DNA was a match. He admitted to stealing the wallet from Parkins in his own testimony to jurors.

A robbery charge was not filed against Brooks because the statute of limitations barred it. There is no statute of limitations for murder.

Afterward, frustrated jurors spoke to both attorneys about why they couldn’t reach a verdict. Several pointed out that Brooks’ DNA on a pocket

of Parkins’ pants didn’t prove he killed him.

“The pocket led us to the event, but there was no solid proof [of murder by Brooks],” said one juror.

“It only put him there,” said another juror.

“We kept going back and forth,” said another.

Jurors said they did not hear testimony from Bell or Brown in the retrial as the prosecutor decided not to present them as witnesses.

The first jury heard Bell and Brown who said Brooks killed Parkins, but they said they wanted more confirmation.

“We didn’t have their perspective on what happened that day,” said a juror.

Jurors said their first vote was 9-3 for conviction, so they asked to re-hear Brooks’ testimony that was read back by a court reporter.

“There definitely were inconsistencies in the 2018 [police] interview and what he said on the stand,” said another juror.

Some jurors said Brooks own testimony didn’t help.

One juror said “he made it worse.” But others said he helped.

“He was telling us what he wanted us to hear,” said a juror. “He could have been coached.”

Ford told jurors the robbery was Brooks’ first and last

hold-up he had ever done, but in the police interview, Brooks was asked about why Parkins’ pockets were left inside out.

“That’s protocol: when you rough up someone, you go through their pockets,” said Brooks in the interview that jurors watched.

Before attorneys left the courtroom, Gill commented, “It was well tried. You gave it your best shot, Ms. Arrollado.”

As she was walking down the hallway afterwards, Arrollado said “I’m very disappointed” in the outcome.

Bell pleaded guilty to voluntary manslaughter and Brown pleaded guilty to robbery. A murder charge was dismissed and both will be sentenced on Feb. 21, possibly to prison.

Bell and Brown were linked to the theft of a credit card taken from Parkins’ wallet as Bell called his ex-girlfriend where she worked at a clothing store. She let the credit card go through her line and it was signed by Brown.

Bell’s ex-girlfriend testified at both trials. Both Bell and Brown remain in jail.

Ford said Brooks will return to North Carolina where he was arrested in May 2018.

“We heard from his boss.

A job is waiting for him,” said Ford.

ATTORNEY

(Photo by rawpixels.com)

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18

FEBRUARY 14-27, 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 10

NIGHT LIFE: THE BAR SOCIAL SCENE

LGBTQSD.NEWS

NIGHTLIFE FOR COUPLES: A Guide to Navigating Nightlife While Partnered

HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM Korie Houston —Korie has worked within the LGBTQIA+ community since coming out in college in 2014. With five-plus years of experience working with marginalized communities in various positions such as a peer educator at California State University San Marcos’ Gender Equity Center, a writer at the RAGE Monthly Magazine and as a host at Baja Betty’s. He currently works at University of California San Diego providing support to students. His journey as an undergraduate student at CSUSM provided him the skillset and depth he has in his current role.

I

t’s Valentine’s Day, and a lot of us struggle with finding what to do for our partners, the new loves in our lives or our possible one-night stand. This time of the year causes a lot of stress on people to create that perfect night out. Sometimes when you’re in a relationship, going out doesn’t hold the same appeal as it once did.

How do you enjoy a night out when you’re coupled up while everyone around you might be looking for their next fling? Look no further than this guide on nightlife with your partner.

Going out to a bar is easy. There are more than enough places in Hillcrest to fill that party niche you’re looking for. But, what about those places you go to that don’t cater to a wild night? My boyfriend and I have developed a vast rotation of food and bars alike that we go to when we want something a little quieter. We still get the stimulation of being out and less of a wild time than we need.

One of the places we always start or end our Sunday night is at Martinis Above Fourth. Once we started this tradition, we quickly discovered that Sunday Funday is never an option without a martini.

The drinks are strong (even by Hillcrest standards) but the lounge ambiance that comes with your drink is worth it. I’ve spent many Sundays there getting to know regulars, bartenders and a different martini each time I go in. Martinis also offers a regular schedule of performers to add interest, but if you’re just looking to enjoy a quiet drink, the patio has its own bar and provides a suitable respite from the performance within. What’s not to love?

My partner and I get to connect with one another in a setting that’s not as hectic.

(Photo by rawpixels.com)

“When you’re coupled, there’s sometimes this pressure to recapture some of the things you did when you were single but sharing (night)life with that special someone allows you to enjoy the “scene” in new and intimate ways.”

— Korie Houston

Sunday Funday aside, we can’t forget about going out on Saturday.

Arguably, it’s a more fun-day than Sunday. The weekend is the highest volume of traffic for all going-out activities. Friday and Saturday are the nights you go out and let loose while Sunday is the “day of rest”, but we all know few of you are on your knees praying. You’re out getting wild at brunch. Let’s paint a picture: You’re planning on taking your partner out for a wonderful brunch at one of your favorite spots, but when you arrive, there’s a 45-minute wait. Why not avoid going out when everyone else does and forge your own path on Saturday? Your partner gets to enjoy this place with you, and you most likely will have less of a wait. You’re getting the same experience with a more relaxed environment. I at least appreciate being able to hear who I’m with when I’m four mimosas deep (and if it comes to that, I prefer blacking out

without a large audience).

Even after the brunch hours have passed, drinks aren’t everything, and a nice meal to go with your cocktails can be the perfect combination. After all, we can’t be messy all the time.

If you’re ever at a loss for where to take your partner or your date, look no further than Cache — a speakeasy attached to a taco shop that serves as a full-service restaurant (Tacos Libertad) and will bring food to your table inside Cache as well. We live in Southern California. Tacos and craft cocktails are a staple. So why not enjoy a night here? Cache provides a range of craft cocktails, some with ingredients you didn’t know existed, and others you certainly never thought of putting in a drink. Your cocktail is accompanied by a quiet Prohibition-era atmosphere that makes for a novel setting compared to your typical Hillcrest fare. The drinks are certainly still worthy of the Hillcrest reputa-

tion, but are a little kinder to your liver than those at Martinis, making it a good spot if you’re just looking to savor a craft cocktail and still be coherent afterward.

What is there to take away from all of this? When you’re coupled, there’s sometimes this pressure to recapture some of the things you did when you were single but sharing (night) life with that special someone allows you to enjoy the “scene” in new and intimate ways. I’ve traded some more wild nights for quieter ones. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, and one is not better than the other.

It can just be an exciting time to shift your priorities and enjoy the nightlife in different ways. Quiet doesn’t have to equal boring. There’s an appeal to being able to get to know a new establishment with someone you enjoy spending time with. You could surprise yourself by creating a new routine.

YOUR GUIDE TO NIGHT LIFE ADVENTURES

WEDS

CLUB SAN DIEGO College/Gaymer Night $5 dollar locker with valid student ID (ages 18-25). In addition to College Night, they have Gaymer Night, action starts at 8p.m. and goes until 1a.m. College discounts, video games and free food! 18+

FEB 14

RICH’S Drag me to DIVAS FINAL Round The top 8 Drag me to DIVAS Winners return for the $1,000 Big Battle Smack down Extravaganza !

Who will win this years battle? 7-10p.m. $ cover. 21+

FEB 14

GOSSIP GRILL STUPID CUPID: Anti Valentines Party Bring in a picture of you and your ex to shred at the door and receive free cover!

Stoplight Party. Red (Taken) Yellow (Try me!) Green (Single) Black attire highly recommended! 21+

FEB 15

RICH’S The Leather Fetish Ball The 7th Annual Leather Fetish Ball has a new location same sexy vibe.

Vendors, Bootblacking, Hot GoGos, Live Demos, Fierce Entertainment, Dancing All Night Long. Hosted By DOM Glitz Glam! $20 21+

FEB 15/16 SATS

CLUB SAN DIEGO USED After The Leather Fetish Ball on February 15, join the official After Party at Club San Diego starting at Midnight. Enjoy demonstrations and plenty of play areas to enjoy.

Midnight - 4a.m. 18+

MOS Bubbles for Breakfast Drag Brunch Join us every Saturday an amazing drag show hosted by none other than Kickxy Vixen-Styles and Vancie Vega! Seating starts at 11a.m. and the show begins at 12p.m. 21+

FEB 22

UPTOWN TAVERN Mardi Gras Hillcrest Break out your beads and masks, let’s PARTY at the Annual Hillcrest Mardi Gras Celebration! Join us on Saturday, February 22nd beginning at 6pm for a crazy fun time! 21+

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ENTERTAINMENT

Fête Noire continued from Page 1

The weeklong event includes staged readings, panel discussions, a free children’s “Play All Day” segment, a coffeehouse “Sip and Say” open mic, and two main stage plays. “Nobody’s telling these stories, these injustices; these memories are fleeting and falling away, and no one is talking about them, but we can,” says Alyssa Salter, New Match Collective CEO and artistic director. She points out that right now, “it’s a common feeling among humanity [of] not feeling noticed, that you don’t matter. We want to provide a place where people matter.”

FESTIVAL SCHEDULE Monday, Feb. 17, 2020 from 10 a.m.-11:30 a.m./noon-4 p.m.

Play All Day: Children and youth segment. Readings and theater activities related to each of the following children’s books: “Sulwe” by Lupita Nyong’o, “Hair Love” by Matthew A. Cherry, and “Always Fly Away” by Milena Phillips with Deborah Dorn.

Play All Day: Staged readings and panels. “Beethoven and Misfortune Cookies,” by Joni Ravenna, is the true story of Kabin Thomas, a much-loved African American university music professor who is abruptly fired after a white student complains about his frequent use of profanity in the classroom and the inclusion of an image of a lynching in connection with one of his lessons. Paired with this reading will be a discussion panel on the topic of representation in theater.

“In the End,” by Sharai Bohannon, follows Emmy and Bridget, who continually cross paths during the worst of times. Both are on separate missions in a city where violence runs rampant.

Emmy deviates from her usual routine of comforting dying people to spend more time among the humans and to try to inspire them to get from their pre-determined course. Meanwhile,

Bridget races against the clock to find her missing sister in hopes that she can still be brought home alive. Paired with the reading will be a discussion panel on the topic of African American haircare.

Location: Theatre Arts School of San Diego, 2650 Truxtun Road #203, San Diego, CA 92106 Thursday, Feb. 20, 2020, at 8 p.m.: Sip and Say. Enjoy an evening of coffeehouse open-micmeets-cabaret-style performances, highlighting black artists and local performers. Location: 4855 Seminole Drive, San Diego, CA 92115 Friday, Feb. 21-Sunday, Feb. 23, 2020: Main stage presentation is a dual show of “Undertow” and “A Black Woman Speaks,” directed by Carla BaNu De Jesus.

Set in Harlem, “Undertow” is centered around a black working-class family in 1929.

Dan, husband to Hattie and father to Charley, reunites with a former girlfriend, Clem.

Clem’s presence disrupts the cyclic routine of the family and forces them to take a clear look at the life that they have created for themselves; they are “Undertow.” Dan, Hattie, and Clem have to decide if they will break the cycle or fight for their lifestyle. In this whirlwind, one-act play, Eulalie Spence comments on colorism and complacency within the black community.

“A Black Woman Speaks” is an edge-snatching poetic manifesto by Beah Richards calling women to unite against white supremacy. “Undertow”/“A Black Woman Speaks” plays on Friday and Saturday at 8 p.m., and Sunday at noon.

Festival passes, which gain you entry to all Fête Noire events, cost $45 ($65 value, $20 in savings). Individual event prices are as follows: Play All Day $25, Sip and Say $15, “Undertow”/“A Black Woman Speaks” $25.

Festival pass and individual event tickets can be purchased by visiting tinyurl.com/fetenoire.

FEBRUARY 14-27, 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 10

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FEBRUARY 14-27, 2020 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 10

OUT & ABOUT

Imperial Court de San Diego CORONATION 2020 (by Big Mike Phillips)

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